#so idk what the fuck happened there lol
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I am a normal person who has had a normal amount of sleep
#sike I stayed up too late writing#not even my main novel but the first draft I've been chipping away at#doing basically a sentence a night right before bed#but now I guess I'm feeling too inspired overall lol#cos I wrote 3700 words ????? which is more than I've ever written of this novel in one session#this is also a novel that I accept will prob go nowhere and was just meant to keep me writing while I didn't have the capacity for the other#so I though it was safe to keep writing that one at night unlike the main one which I know is too absorbing and will keep me awake#so idk what the fuck happened there lol#it's nice to be writing so effortlessly but babe I need sleep. like how am I meant to make progress on The Novel during the day today#on like 5 hours sleep 😭#I'm meant to be prioritising my fundamental needs atm too lol#like specifically not supposed to be sacrificing sleep or food or rest for creative pursuits so I can keep creativity sustainable longterm#but sometimes the beast just overtakes you ya know. yikes.#you can tell I'm fucking sleep deprived cos I'm babbling lol#writer things
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movie night
#This piece is dedicated to the scene in EVERY FUCKING PRE RESCAS FREEHOUN FIC where they watch the thing or something#and then they KISS during the credits <- this part is not in every fic but in my heart 🧡#tbqh idk if I like this or nawt but whatever I'm tired of it sitting in my files. Gordon's cute at least#anyway#gordon freeman#barney calhoun#freehoun#half life#hl#my art#id in alt text#Barney and Gordon on the worlds smallest shittiest couch in the dark what will happen……. tee..hee….#I feel the need to clarify also they’ve seen the thing like one morbillion times. but they react like it’s the first time everytime#They watched this together back when they first met and Barney was like. ‘ur so fuchs lol’ and Gordon was like ‘yeah well you’re Mac’#and then the scene in the thiokol skidozer happened and they both got really quiet#<- joke for me mostly . But if you know . Yeagh#I want to rewatch the thing so bad now goddamnitttttttt#euuaagghhhhhhhhhhhh
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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no offense but i genuinely fear that their potential dynamic will go severely underutilized
#rick and morty#morty smith#prime rick#my biggest fear continues to be 'morty gets kidnapped by prime to bait c137'#because i think it could just. be so much more neat if morty and prime actually formed some kind of relationship independently. good OR bad#like idk imagine if morty is coaxed to join primes side out of some misguided attempt to protect his family#would sure be fitting for a character that clearly values his family and their safety idk!!!#and like. god imagine what morty mighjt think of prime#like he currently only has rick's perspective of prime. and obviously whether he wants to or not he sort of Has to rely on what rick says#idk imagine morty meets prime and hes like damn this dude is pretty cool. whether its because prime is putting on a deliberate act#or morty just Genuinely Thinks he's cool#ohhhhhhh imagine this is how they bring the morty mindwipe thing back.#prime would b like 'did you know c137 left the parts of you that disagree with him in a video game? isnt that fucked up morty'#theres just so much TO DOOO and im so terrified of NONE of this happening#bcs the writers seem to be physically incapable of prioritizing anyone but rick#LIKE GOD PLEASEEEE i know they only care abt the redditor audience BUT PLEASE do something ANYTHING with morty im about to start crying#went on a little rant lol sorry. can you tell i really like morty.
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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not to beat a dead horse but there's something kind of illuminating and warmie yet sad about the fact that Taylor's parents are attending Travis' game with her and regularly. I know the "you never saw--" joke is old, but the idea that [redacted]'s family did actually occasionally attend events with Taylor (including at what it seems may have been a difficult time), but after a certain point she herself didn't/couldn't attend his in turn, never mind her family, and it's just a testament to how different things are now, how different her life is, and frankly how integrated their family life has become. Idk I'm just really happy for popstar bestie because I feel like this is probably everything she ever wanted and didn't know she could have at one point.
#i should probably delete this lol#like-- he just wanted nothing to do with her in public#I know we've said it a million ways and it's more nuanced than that#and we know how hurtful that was *for her*#(again even though it was more nuanced than that on the page)#but I keep thinking of her parents in situations like this because they had to watch it happen#and now they've got a regular spot at their son in law's event and they're embraced in the fold idk#(shut up I'm using the term in a general sense miss me with the legalities bla bla bla)#(I'm sorry but that's what they all are to each other for all intents and purposes now)#like it goes both ways: it shows how serious she and [redacted] were and how much his family considered her one of their own#but by the same token how difficult it must have been for her to keep herself (and her family) so separate from anything having to do#with him in the name of propriety or rules or whatever the fuck else#like the breakup is obviously the two people involved but it's also breaking up an entire support system idk
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stupid fucks for @sorrelpaws dtiys 👍
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#srldtiys#hopefully the colours look ok im a victim of night shift. i had to fix them last minute LOL#SUPER FUN POSESSSS this was so fun. awesome#??“?”?£“$? idk what happened i was gonna do similar colours and then i was like. fuck it Orang#IVE BEEN WON OVER BY BLUE EYES MORTY BTW> so cute#artsbotz
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I think it's very important that we bring back this inherent understanding that actors are also just some fucking guys (gender neutral)
#i was looking forward to a fun week in the Hannibal fandom with the recent cons#but alas. idk why i'm surprised at all. i'm not really. i'm mostly disappointed#why are y'all taking everything at face value and generally just... put their opinions above everyone else's#they're also just some guys that happened to play these characters a decade ago#am i defending middle-aged white men right now? maybe. why? idk either. i'm annoyed lol#but i really think some of y'all need to remember that they're also just some random dudes that *you* happen to look up to#hugh dancy#mads mikkelsen#nbc hannibal#not saying that they (and especially Hugh) don't tend to say dumb shit sometimes but damn#lighten up a little and ignore it. it's never that deep i promise#and don't come at me with Hugh's apparently misinformed comments about Will as an autistic guy#i'm aware but also he didn't say what y'all are talking about he did due to people's post#but i'll stop there before i go on an even longer rant#i didn't even wanna make a post like that but i've been getting so fucking annoyed that this will give me some peace lol
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Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
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touched up some daisy, daisy fanart i made at least a year ago but never got to post
#i have so much scattered around but its mostly sketches and i drew them different#way back then#the hev suit was a bit funny before i changed it. i hadnt look at a reference yet lol#ill include a link to the fic in the notes but be aware that its abandoned. but its my favorite fic ever#hlvrai#eyestrain#maybe? idk ppl say bright red is hard to use. looks fine to me but just to be safe#half life vr but the ai is self aware#benrey#gordos freeman#my art#OH FUCK OH SHIT it looks way different on my phone FUCK#i was right to tag eyestrain#but i dont feel like changing the drawing#did noooooot expect this post to get so many notes#i put way more time into the other daisy daisy fanart i posted lol#this one was so old. definitely one of the first times i had drawn them#was not used to drawing facial hair. im still not but now i get that you just kinda fuck around and see what happens#like lots of art goes
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Half the fandom thought Gabriel had standards and would never knowingly hurt Adrien
For all we know, Nathalie thought this would stop Gabriel
I mean we dont see anymore of her afterward
(this is about Chat Blanc)
YES, that's exactly it. I don't think it's fair to assume that Nathalie knew that finding out Chat Noir was Adrien would make Gabriel double down. I think it's completely plausible that she thought it'd make Gabriel... I don't know....... reconsider his actions? Give up? Maybe even just have a gentle talk with Adrien and come clean to him about everything and ask for his help?
Mayura was not present during the Chat Blanc fallout, and considering everything we know about Nathalie, I just don't believe that she was in support of the Chat Blanc thing / believed that Gabriel was capable of that.
I mean, hating Nathalie or seeing her as irredeemable is still totally fair because she's done a lot of fucked up shit, but I don't think "Nathalie, in a state of shock, informed her almost-lover that he was unknowingly battling his son" is as clearly malicious as a lot of people took it. I dunno.
#and you can argue that it's fucked up of her to be so willingly blinded to gabriel's horrible side#and that she should have known that gabriel would be terrible#and that's totally fair#but i do think she never in a million years expected what ended up happening to happen#arguably it could be up to headcanon but. idk. in that case i simply headcanon she thought better of gabriel lol
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Best part of hsr being a space game hands-down has to be the complete disregard for ‘normal’ human anatomy/functions. Every planet has different living conditions, so it’s entirely possible that a “human” from the xianzhou could have entirely differing adaptations and anatomical buildups as a citizen from Belobog. I think it’s fascinating to delve deeper into those sort of things and play with the idea of uniquely shaped genetic makeup for a bit.
**SPOILERS:**
Case in point; Sampo Koski. More or so my personal interpretation of him as Jarilo VI’s “alien.” Because *woah* he’s a weird guy — and I’d like to amplify that based off my portrayal of him. Whether he’s an artificial being gifted to the tb as an apology from aha, a native of kalevala, or a being directly tied to the elation itself, in the eyes of a Belobogian citizen … he’s a force from another world. Quite literally an ALIEN. Which is funny at the prospect that gepard carries a Dib-level drive to apprehend this guy due to his ability to break reality for the sake of gags.
His ahoge? Yeah, that’s an actual antennae which emotes and adds to his inhumanly strong perception. Diamond-shaped pupils are like that of prey, where the shape is crucial for an animal to see at all angles for, again, enhanced perception. His outfit is due to complete cold resistance, and his diet doesn’t affect muscle tone at all. Fuck it. He breaks dimensional law. Elation.
Literally anything is on the table atp bc he’s not even from Belobog. It’s his home, sure, but his genetics do not match that of a Belobogian.
#mainly why I love sampard so much // it’s literally just zim and dib with extra steps but if zim genuinely helped struggling people#gepard being a normal human and sampo an inhuman being that finds fascination with his humanity#loves the prospect of living a ‘normal life’ and donning the alias sampo Koski to live amongst the people#hell it’s funny as shit to think that sampos capable of shattering reality he just happens to fucking love money LOL#my interp of him in my art is this I am a firm inhuman!sampo truther idk what. but there’s is something Off about that man#hsr sampo#hsr gepard#hsr
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🖤🩶🤍💜
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#kamui gakupo#gackpoid#camui gackpo#gakupo vocaloid#神威がくぽ#asexual#purple#black#alternate title: gakupo if he slayed LMAOOO#man i always forget about ace awareness week despite being a raging ace myself 💀 oops.#but anyways i got reminded. and gakupo keychain arrived yesterday... gakupo is purple.............. so this happened lmao#grrrr ONE DAY ill get good at drawing him 😭😭 i still feel like i suck and idk WHAT it is about him that makes him not work as well#in my style. but grrrrrr i will figure it out at some point... and i WILL git gud at drawing him. i need to. 😔😔😔 i lijke him...#i have those ace sunglasses irl btw LMAO its my only piece of ace merch... fucking $1 target sunglasses 💀💀 lmao. but at least SMTHN#the vision. guys. ace gakupo would be SOOOOOOOO powerful. trust me on this.#also i need to stop being too silly rn and lock the fuck INNN im so screwed lmfao. i got texted by a classmate while drawing this 😭#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT TOMORROW I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT AND HAVE TO SPEEDRUN. EMAILS. CONFERENCE. AHHH#save me pretty eggplant man.... oguhgghhh. the soundtrack was not helping while drawing this LMFAO. ily fucked up gakupo songs 💜
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Sometimes I try to write down thoughts about this campaign but I admittedly have not been paying enough attention to feel confident in my character analysis so I write an incoherent text post and then delete it because I don't know if I'm actually making the correct judgments.
#cr spoilers#in the tags#so i'm going to rant in here instead if you keep reading past this you can't get mad at me#anyway i want to talk about ashton#and how they would have been absolutely intolerable in c1 or c2#where every character was invested in saving the world#for one reason or another#and c3 is just like#orym is the only one talking sense and everyone else is just like 'well maybe?'#but matt also said something about being ready for exandria to shift drastically based on their chocie#and if matt weren't ready for exandria to change ashton would be harder to watch than they are now#idk taliesin does quite often play around with hypocrisy with his characters so i'm not really surprised#by ashton claiming to stand up for the little person and then going and being willing to blow up their entire world#like they're not actually thinking about the 'little person'#they're thinking about themselves and that's really it#but yeah i do keep waiting for someone to say something that gives ashton that realization#that they can't use their trauma as an excuse to blow up everyone else's lives#idk i'm running out of steam#it's interesting to watch taliesin play around with this#but i've got to say that if they don't make a fucking choice about what they're actually going to do#idk i'm just ready for them ALL to stop waffling#okay now i'm done#i still have a lot of thoughts but i'd have to rewatch the whole campaign to feel confident in my talking points#and that's not going to happen lol
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