#tell me i'm funny

[murderballadeer]

[hysterical-random-things]

Earthspark spoilers without context

[angels444yuri]

i don't plan my day beforehand because i don't let my past define my present 💗

[dodgeryaps]

I am an enigma

cowboy, witch, teacher, and insanely hot

[gab-has-adhd]

Just. Just take this meme. I have no explanation for it. It just popped in my head and I had to make it.

[noxturnalnymph]

*bats eyes* You liked my joke? 🥹

[nylonnye2]

I keep telling myself that 😔 /j

Tomorrow will be fun

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I

(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)

[existennialmemes]

Drinking Game for The US Presidential Debate- Rules:

Do not actually watch the debate

Drink a lot

Look at the memes about it tomorrow

Drink some more

[a-hazbin-reader]

Omg it's literally ✨️ THEM ✨️

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Jealousy, Implied catcalling, Harassment, Cannibalism?? Implied Biting, Possessiveness

Description: Alastor realizing the price he pays for having a total fox as an S/O

LOOK

Alastor is happy to show you off, you're his delicious, tasty, mouth-watering babe of a partner

He likes seeing the envy on other's faces when you two are together, likes having you on his arm

Love love loves having your attention solely on him, ignoring the rest of them

He loves rubbing the fact that you're his and his alone in everyone's face, he practically dangles you in their drooling faces just to snatch you up for himself in front of them

What Alastor doesn't love is when people try to take you for themselves, or take your attention from him

Or when they make you uncomfortable/annoyed/sad/the list could keep going

You often were catcalled or sometimes even followed when you walked alone, thirsty demons drooling/hooting over you as you walked by

It's all Alastor can do not to simply just hunt down every single offender, knowing you can take care of yourself

But still

You only need to ask

He never really imagined anybody would make a move on you until it actually happens

He only stepped away for one moment and when he came back some idiot was already flirting with you

Like backed you up against a wall while trying to win you over kind of flirting

Saying filthy things that made Alastor's skin crawl when he pictured it

You looked bored and annoyed 😒 arms crossed defensively over your body(any extra limbs are also tucked in close)

You were hardly listening, perking up once you saw Alastor coming back, moving to meet him halfway

Alastor knows you're tough, knows you can take care of yourself, but when he sees them actually go to make a grab at you

Motherfucker-

Not him physically ripping the offender away from you

Not him using his power to hold them down while he punishes them for even thinking of touching you

Just when he's about finished he'll ask you what their real punishment should be, leaving their fate in your hands

He just wants to please his lil boo-thang

If you choose mercy then Alastor will simply toss them aside and loop his arm with yours, continuing your day as if nothing had happened

If you don't choose mercy then Alastor will gleefully devour them right in front of you if, not even hiding the fact that he's showing off his more monstrous form

Then it's right back to whatever you two were doing before

"No, don't kiss me until you wash your mouth out!"

Maybe is a little more...clingy...after realizing that others are drawn towards you just as he is

He love hates how attractive you are, almost whining about it at times when you two are alone

As if you even asked to look so fine

Can't you just...always stay in the hotel or something???? No????

Maybe wear a collar that says "Alastor" on it???

Um no bitch

Bby why

Let him give you bite marks and hickeys for everyone to see??? Just a few~ He'll be so gentle~ Won't taste your super tasty blood at all~

Okay maybe you two found a compromise

"Alastor w-wait~ Not there~"

Not him biting you in public to mark his territory

Your mans is FERAL

[bubblingsteam]

dilf twink and his drop dead gorgeous wife (+their daughters). Also they're t4t its canon kui told me herself

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[ejoym]

Redraw from David Blaine Street Magic Part 3 by thoselilrabbits. I'm so sorry for the convoluted Venn diagram of references you need to know in order to understand this joke.

[uncanny-tranny]

It's honestly frustrating that I've seen non-Russian queer people almost bragging about how they would be illegal in Russia, labeled an extremist or terrorist. Russian queers are in danger, their government has made it clear where it stands, and it's made this effort for the better part of a decade (even longer, perhaps). This will kill people, don't mistake this for a quirky little proclamation from a government, akin to somebody saying the sky is pink. Russian queer people were already expressing their fear, and the least we can do now is express our love for them, and advocate with them.

Russian queer people, I love you. I love you all so much. I am so sorry, I cannot begin to express the grief that I feel, and I hope that you are safe. Words cannot encapsulate how I feel as a non-Russian, and I cannot hope to comprehend how it feels to actually be in this situation.

[bridoesotherjunk]

Tell me I'm wrong.

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 1 - Ratiorine Messages Edition

[Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]