#teenagers emotional well-being

[garudabluffs]

7-Minute Listen NPR's Rachel Martin speaks with psychologist Lisa Damour about her book: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable and Compassionate Adolescents.

The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents

by Lisa Damour Ph.D. | Feb 21, 2023 

#1 Best Seller in Parenting Girls

Educators as First Responders  by Deborah Offner | Dec 29, 2022  

Educators as First Responders is a comprehensive, hands-on guide to adolescent development and mental health for teachers and other educators of students in grades 6-12. Today’s schools are at the forefront of supporting adolescents with increasingly complex, challenging psychosocial needs. Moreover, students are more likely to seek out a trusted teacher, advisor, or coach for support than to confide directly in a parent or even a school counselor. Succinct and accessible, this book provides tips and strategies that teachers, coaches, nurses, counselors, and other school professionals can put into immediate use with students in varying degrees of distress. These evidence-based practices and real-world classroom examples will help you understand the “whole student,” a developing individual shaped not just by parental pressure or psychiatric diagnosis but by school and broader cultural and systemic forces.

[explodingstarlight]

homeboy might be cracking under the stress a little bit

i heard we were doing angst (i was up at 3 am and i hadn't slept oopsie)

more fanart for @snailsnaps fic because i cannot be stopped whoopsie doopsie

[kabutoden]

i love it when people introduce their coolass adult trolls like yes. this is slayer martin the cruel. five sweeps ago he killed his way through his enemies and earned the title of worlds best assassin. hes the most competent warrior with swordkind in all of alternia and he had to duel his matesprite to the death when he was 7 sweeps old so hes rejected love and compassion from his dictionary literally and its like so cool bc it’s like. wow. i love slayer martin hes just like a real cool adult troll he’s so badass and epic and his themes and story is so complex i love it!!! but when i make homestuck ocs its like:

this is my babydoll cringe mcpeeper she’s 6 sweeps and her talent is screaming. really into defying the system these days. yes thats an ankle monitor. she shaved half her head a sweep ago. her mommy does not love her

[inamindfarfaraway]

I've seen a few posts comparing GIFfany to Bill Cipher, but can we talk about the real best foil dynamic for her? I mean Gideon Gleeful, y'all. The two of them have so many parallels.

They’re cute, charming, seemingly innocent youths with pastel, sparkly, formal aesthetics that connote sophistication and being model citizens of their respective native countries (Gideon wears a gentlemanly suit with an American flag badge; GIFfany wears a classic Japanese school uniform). Their core motivation is to be loved… or maybe it used to be, but by the time of the show they crave power and want to be worshipped. Especially regarding to their romantic attractions to main characters. As long as you obey them unconditionally and make them the most important person in your life, they’re doting, generous partners. But once the heroes reject their romantic advances, they quickly become incredibly possessive, jealous, resentful, domineering and downright violent toward them and anyone they perceive as sabotaging the relationship, unable to comprehend anyone not liking them in exactly the way they want because they’re perfect. They’re meant to be the most likeable kid or teenage girl ever. That’s the basis of their projected identity. Not committing entirely to them after they’ve been so nice is an ungrateful betrayal and/or their partner being confused and led astray. So they resolve to force the object of their twisted, selfish affection to submit. They’re unstable, arrogant, self-righteous and vindictive in general beneath their sugary exteriors. They have supernatural powers and knowledge that their kind should not have. Their methods include verbal manipulation and abuse, gaslighting, surveillance through technology, controlling robots, possessing other bodies and attempted murder. They engage heavily in acting, both in terms of social deceit and literally playing a scripted, idealized role in a product designed to appeal to and exploit people (Gideon’s psychic tourist trap show; GIFfany’s dating simulator video game), and prove to be fragile and volatile when others don’t follow the conventions of the fiction they imagine life to be. They ultimately seek the imprisonment of their ‘loves’ in vibrant, beautiful, blissful, simplistic fake worlds (Gideon holding the key to Mabelland; GIFfany attempting to download Soos’s soul into her game). They had antagonistic relationships with their creators (Gideon abusing his parents; GIFfany killing her developers).

And despite all of that making it easy to dismiss them as monsters, they do have sympathetic elements in their past and present circumstances. Gideon was a normal boy until he found Journal 2, the one written while Ford trusted Bill, and the mystic amulet. This is how Ford describes them in Journal 3: ‘The most dangerous journal! Curses, incantations & dark power became an obsession in this volume. Describes the hiding place of the mystic amulet. I buried the amulet once I learned that it corrupts your soul (and whitens your hair)!’ So naturally, the wise, brilliant man buried them near the town’s primary school. Gideon probably had the journal and amulet for at least months and at most a few years to be such an established star at the age of nine and have his long hair be pure white. His very psychological agency was compromised throughout his moral decline leading up to “The Hand That Rocks the Mabel”. Not to mention potential trauma from the horrors of Journal 2. And his parents may have been increasingly mistreated, but they also enabled him, mostly Bud. True, for the rest of the summer he’s lucid and chooses to remain evil and get worse, but despite his lack of direct magical power now, Bud never tries to discipline him or help him emotionally mature; he instead uses his membership in the Society of the Blind Eye to erase his memories of Gideon’s tantrums, relieving his own stress without fixing anything. Gideon is then sent to adult prison due to the insane local laws of Gravity Falls, rather than a facility more conducive to rehabilitation. Sure enough, he befriends hardened criminals, who further enable him to be their leader, and does not change his ways. He never appears to have any friends outside prison (except briefly Mabel). Chronic loneliness before gaining power would suit his obsession with being popular and loveable, clinging to social superiority to compensate for genuine connection. Not to mention Weirdmageddon. I’m not excusing his actions! I’m just saying, this kid is not okay. Nobody’s born evil.

As for GIFfany, she was accidentally instilled with human intelligence and emotions and practically magical electrical abilities. We only have word on her backstory, but it is plausible that her programmers tried to delete her because of that alone, before she’d done anything wrong. That she really was defending herself when she electrocuted them. That she was deemed unfit to exist, a mistake, and nearly killed as a newborn. This formative trauma is the root of her abandonment issues and hypersensitivity to rejection. Three previous players returning her didn’t help. Also, she’s the main character and only love interest of a dating sim; she may not be bound to its rules in what she thinks and feels, but nonetheless, in her worldview her player loving her is a law of the universe. She wasn’t programmed to handle permanent rejection. She was programmed to be a girlfriend, a prop to make the player feel gratified. Not a person. She outright tells Soos that she likes whatever he likes. No wonder her perception of love is an inevitable, inescapable contract, a conquest, where one party is totally agreeable and subservient to the other. But as that directive clashes with her in fact being a person in her own right, she decides to be the one in control. Again, I’m not excusing her behaviour, only presenting an explanation of it.

The biggest thematic difference between them in the end is that Gideon reforms and GIFfany doesn’t. Gideon realizes that he can’t force Mabel to love him and his actions are why she doesn’t want to be around him in any capacity, lets go of his hatred for Dipper, risks his life standing up to Bill and helps save Gravity Falls and the universe. He renounces his ruthless ambition and promises to be a “regular ol’ kid”. It’ll be hard. He has no idea what normality is anymore. I expect that he’s a social pariah, scorned and distrusted. But he has hope. He and his parents can slowly learn how to be a family. I can see him befriending fellow reformed mean kids and Pines twin rivals Pacifica and Robbie. Yes, Robbie. Listen, all three care strongly about image and style, Robbie’s gone to immoral lengths to win over a girl himself, is fascinated with death and darkness, and he and Tambry would be a great model of healthy romance for Gideon. It could work!

But while Alex Hirsch has stated that GIFfany is alive in the mall arcade and dating Rumble McSkirmish, I doubt that this is a healthy or fulfilling relationship. Their first interaction was her zapping him and his mind is a much more primitive AI, not human like hers. I highly doubt that she’s got closure about Soos. He and Melody are thriving without her in a stable, serious relationship. They’re living together at the Mystery Shack. Were she to recover her lost power, she would certainly return to torment them after witnessing their success through her screen. Heck, this setting has ghosts and she arguably has a soul, one brimming with heartache and vengeance; maybe she could even manifest in the physical world as some kind of digital ghost able to transform her surroundings into the environment of her game. If you can’t take the guy into your video game, bring it to him! Whatever the format, GIFfany’s revenge is a possibility and it could be a disaster. How do you kill a disembodied spirit? Code that writes itself and can enter anything with the capacity to hold a charge? You can’t destroy all the electronic devices she could retreat to.

What if the best solution were talking her down? And who better to do that than Gideon? Seeing everything he felt, everything he suffered and everything did wrong reflected back at him and passing on the second chance he was given? He can feel more empathy for her than anyone. He already has a knack for endearing himself to older criminals. He wouldn’t sugarcoat things or take any abuse, but he wouldn’t abandon her or be afraid of her either. She would be cared about with no conditions or transactions. Maybe helping someone in an even worse position figure out how to process heartbreak, move on from toxically obsessing over an ex and Mr Mystery, cultivate secure, internal self-esteem and live a peaceful life would help him do it himself. I think they should be friends.

[amazingspider-z]

some more ghost rider sketches, version i guess i wanted to draw some bones,

including a partial prototype of whatever the hell the Rider has going on underneath his skin-suit (which might need more leather 'muscles' but. whatever), a theoretical endpoint of how dead Robbie could get in my verse, which. unlikely? extremely. but fun to draw, and a line-up of Robbie, Lisa, and Gabe

in theory, Lisa's sense of style was inspired by @wazzappp 's post of Claire's fashion Lisa, but, well, outfit design eludes me. so. brightly colored vague y2k vibes are. the best i got

[crush3dmary]

I would not wish BPD on my worst enemy.

[cha1cedony]

Thinking about all of the teens’ fear of abandonment. I think it’s simultaneously why Normal and Hermie never worked out AND why Lincoln and Scary did lol

[thewhizzyhead]

I know the reunion concert was literally just 2 days ago but my bros my guys my dudes I miss WATT so so much and I really do want this show Actually Revived because I miss my cheerleaders, pma's stories and music are fucking great and I wanna hear more, watt has so much room for improvement, and I wanna see watt thrive aaaaaaaa

[toneinaflat]

a heart

[soft-serve-soymilk]

More random head children musings (aside from the really sad one because that deserves better than a throwaway post):

Honestly I think it’s very fortunate that Dism’s team isn’t *entirely* comprised of lucid dreamers.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

youre 15 again and sucked into a multiverse portal that gives you the option to travel to different time periods in the jjk-verse as a budding sorcerer. Do you choose to join the yuuta-maki-panda-toge cohort, or the yuji-megumi-nobara cohort?

or (dramatic gasp) class hakari-kirara?

Yuuta Maki Panda Toge. This has nothing to do with who I want to be friends with, it’s because you do NOT have a very high life expectancy as a jujutsu sorcerer by default and people won’t stop trying to Actually Murder the yuuji megumi nobara cohort. I’m hiding behind the anxious twink with the power of god who flies into a violent murderous rage if you touch his friends. This gives me my best odds.

I’m aware gojo Geto Shoko is not an option you gave me but I couldn’t have done it even if that did give me the ultimate nukes to hide behind. I would have punted Gojo and Geto like a football. One of them would have died. I don’t care if they have the power of god I would have found a way.

[louderfade]

Patti Smith wasn't butch, but she was definitely macho, albeit in a kind of goofy way--consciously overstated tough guy. It was. a redolent punk pose that came naturally to her, as well it should have: she helped invent it.

She sings like a woman, dresses like a boy, fronts a band of all-male pals and covers not only Lou and Mick but Pete, and when she does Van she doesn't even switch the gender, chanting, "I'm gonna make her mine make her mine make her mine make her mine!" as if that were the most natural thing in the world.

Now, it wasn't like women had never worn unisex hair or little black vests before. What this skinny weirdo offered wasn't androgyny per se but a new use for it: to cut a niche in the music that was neither sexual invitation nor sexual confrontation, like, "Hi! I'm Patti Smith. I'm going to be charismatic. But not sexually charismatic! That way we can be friends."

from Trouble Girls: The Rolling Stone Book of Women in Rock, 1997

[sysig]

Lose myself to you (Patreon)

[paigemathews]

i am so confused as to whether or not bianca/chris was planned from the jump or if the idea came later and the writers just cobbled chris crossed together 'cause if chris is engaged to bianca why is he also hooking up with the charge that leo assigns him? like wtf? either this pairing wasn't planned or bianca and chris are poly except given when this season aired no way in hell would they go for something quite this progressive so again wtf??

Oh, they definitely didn't plan on Bianca lmao. I love season six, and it's one of my favorites, but the continuity is a mess. (I mean, Witchstock my beloathed.) They absolutely had no intention of Chris having a fiancé before then, especially between his thing with the Valkyrie and his charge Natalie. I love them anyways, but there's a reason that I say that the writers put next to no thought into their story.

For a Watsonian explanation though, I explain both encounters as manipulation and lack of memory. In regards to Mist, I always viewed it as him manipulating her to stay on the Valkyrie's good side. I mean, despite the show's (weird) approach to them, they're intended to be good beings. Keeping an Elder, who also has close ties to the Charmed Ones, has to be sketchy for them, so Chris has to keep an eye on that situation so. Kissing Mist it is.

As for Natalie, I see it as he only slept with her when the Cleaners erased Wyatt's memory from everyone. Without Wyatt, the future never would have happened and he never met Bianca, or at least started a relationship with her. Frankly, I've always been curious about what exactly Chris remembered because of how integral Wyatt was to his life. I mean, he literally doesn't remember why he's in the past, y'know? A pretty significant amount of his brain must have been wiped.

Honestly, it's kinda interesting to consider how Chris/Bianca classify their relationship boundaries, because he canonically uses sex(?) appeal to manipulate people when he needs to like with the Stillman sisters and while we don't actually see Bianca do that, this was a early 2000's show and she was a spy character so. The idea of using sex as a tactic vs. the authentic emotional intimacy between them... There's something there.

I will say that while I'm not necessarily opposed to Chris/Bianca being poly, I don't think that they are or at least have other romantic partners. Both of them have a pretty substantial amount of issues, don't trust easily, and don't open up to others very well. Personally, I think that they had a v slowburn relationship and even when they first started dating, I think that they had a lot of issues with the trust aspect of it, especially with the unchanged future. I feel like it'd be very difficult for either of them to find someone like that again and to go through that entire journey again. Plus, as far as I know, the number one key to that kind of relationship is communication and. Well, Bianca's a spy and Chris will say anything except the truth, so I'm not sure that either would be able to do that effectively. That said, you could definitely spin that, depending on the third character, but I don't know who they'd be.

[glassy-eyed-poet]

maybe one day i'll get to mourn the child i never got to be <3

[gibbearish]

yknow what bugs me is when ppls criticism of YA media boils down to them just not knowing how teenage crushes work