#teenagerhood

[mysterious-corpse]

idk really what’s going on. maybe it’s just the usual teenage identity issues idk. I’ll be owen and I slouch and maybe don’t care as much as I should and feel a lot of guilt about that and sort of hate myself but I’m trying not to. and I like to talk to people and I get lonely if I don’t every hour. And I pretend to be who I’m not sometimes and I’m not sure why. And I smile a certain way and I like certain clothes and feel pretty and masculine and grrr and think about sex a lot and get stuck in thought loops and have problems with substances and I love to eat food and have a very hard time completing tasks like brushing teeth and taking a shower and following instructions and going to bed and reading is hard to get into at first. My adhd is a definite combined type, I’m spacey and distractible and forgetful and jumping around everywhere, when I fidget its whole body.

And then occasionally it all falls away and I love reading, it’s what I do, what I always do. And I follow instructions because that’s what I do and I space off during dinner and have a smaller appetite, or I don’t notice it as much. And I like different clothes, I like black and white clothes. Different textures offend me than would offend me otherwise, the world around me quiets down and I am in my head like when I was a child. My adhd calms down to inattentive. I space off, and I’m forgetful, and I fidget, but smaller movements with my fingers and hands or toes and feet, etc. Music is different. And I speak more formally, but owen really just speaks like a piece of shit, in his opinion, really it’s just slang terms and I don’t like to speak that way. Writing and grammar is hard for owen, it’s hard for me too, but grammar and spelling are like second nature to me. Although owen feels guilty and shameful, it’s just not something I consider. It doesn’t factor into my worldview. My voice in my head sounds different than owen’s. And owen loves reading, too, it’s just hard for him.

And it gets all confused in my mind who I am and how I speak and it’s both and neither and I keep switching back and forth and now I don’t remember grammar or spelling and my speech is infused with my own. I’m watching a youtube video of someone making that “battery acid spaghetti” from tumblr and I’m so invested and suddenly I’m just not. I’m sitting up straighter, better posture, I just don’t care about my phone right now. I want to read. My current book is on my bed, I really want to read it. Wait wasn’t I super invested in the battery acid? Owen was, probably still is, I should keep watching it so he can see what happens. I’m confused by this thought process. I keep watching the video.

[private-bryan]

15 y/o: "Happy Father's Day!"

Me: "Thanks. It only took you until 15:15 to remember."

15 y/o: "To be fair, I've only been up for four or five hours."

🤦

[huginsmemory]

I feel like Alex Hirsch releasing Book of Bill 9 years after gravity falls finished is exactly the same as Monster University being released 12 years later then Monsters INC but instead of it being like, a supportive movie of people who didn't get their dreams, its a book that resonates with the original teenage audience that adored Bill and the bill/dipper ship at the exact time that the people who were in there teens are now in there mid-late twenties and starting to sexualize older men in mainstream fandom spaces (yes, there is a direct correlation between tumblrs aging userbase jokes about kitchen appliances and old man yaoi jokes) to get the same audience back in and hooked on Billford (something which was always subtextually implied and now essentially canon). Like this man knew EXACTLY what he was doing.

[francesderwent]

one of the other great joys of my life is making a text post so theologically orthodox and so funny that a whole bunch of Christians reblog it, but have to tag it #swearing

[sherbertilluminated]

After some persuasion by the Pomegranate I've watched the first episode of Dead Boy Detectives and also started S/Z.

The central problem of the tv show seems to be that the two leading men are in love, that they have both crafted self-performances which implicate their own queerness but which are mutually unreadable. And because flirting requires the coded exchange of mutual attraction they each just figure that the other isn't into them that way.

Both Edwin's tweedy meticulousness and Charles' punk vibe both read as queer today. But they are both also class affects and it's easier to lok at each as signifying social difference rather than something the boys might have in common

[zhivchik]

[kkoct-ik]

guess whos 20

[beneathsilverstars]

Hello my spiritual mutual! Hope you're having a great day and other such pleasantries.

Anyways. I'm here to say something.

You are all over this fandom I swear it's insane! Like I was reading fanfic last night and every once in a while I'd go into the comments to see what people were saying and I saw you on every other fic I read. I saw like two separate fics where they were like "Thanks to my wonderful beta reader" and then credited you and I had to put my phone down because WOW do you apparently appear all over this fandom.

omg.... i do try to comment on most of the fics i read unless i'm like wildly exhausted, but i feel like i don't read thaaat much isat fic, just bc im busy doing other things... but ig the fandom is small enough that that's still a notable chunk of the fics! or maybe we just have similar taste or see the same recs crossing our dashboards. :0

i do love to beta!!! a couple months ago i made a post offering to beta for people and did a couple fics. i haven't made another post about it just bc i've got so many of my own fics i'm working on but i do loove polishing prose it's my favorite part of writing. betaing to me is like.. skipping to dessert... like if i wanna decide what's on the table i gotta cook it all myself (write my own fic) but if i just want a fun little treat that's betaing. ^^

actually. now that i mention my penchants for commenting and betaing next to each other. they're probably related? i simply looove to explain my thoughts opinions advice and reactions! as one might notice from my long headcanon posts, constant tag rambling, response to this ask, etc! plus i try to prioritize encouraging the creation of art i enjoy - as an artist and writer i treasure every ao3 comment and tag compliment, and i'm grateful to everyone who helped me refine my crafts, and i so highly value the collaborative environment of fandom where we all inspire each other!!!

[sege-h]

Just a strange tall and lanky teenage lizard, and the scruffy teenager cat that ran away with him

Ochre belongs to @riftclaw

[hakuryuu]

It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[slashingdisneypasta]

Every time I watch WFRR, I always expect to be disappointed by the weasels since we've built up their personalities SO GOOD on here-- but I never am XDD They're just such colourful, giggly, funny little dudes and I love them so so much XD

[callmeblake]

Bon Jovi - New Jersey (1988)

[yellowocaballero]

As a fellow it/its user i am firmly shaking hands with knives. Also this might just be my own bias knowing how rare it is for people to actually use those pronouns for me, but brad and luida referring to knives as such is a subtle but such a meaningful gesture. Like yeah knives is perhaps a little asshole but they still love it.

Oh hey hello! I was worried - I didn't want to be like, "Knives uses it/its because it is inhuman and also a freak, hope that helps". Knives uses it/its because what else do you want him to use - they/them? What are they, a hive of sentient bugs?

I almost did she/hers because plants are referred to as she/hers, Knives is a plant, what's the problem. But plants are referred to as it/its too and I figured that would demonstrate my point a bit better.

It's also kinda part of the bait-and-switch of the first section. Brad is so harsh, and the way he talks about Knives to Wolfwood is pretty dehumanizing, and he is handcuffed to a bed, and him using the 'its' pronouns just make the vibes super weird. Just uncomfortable vibes. But when you actually understand the family a bit better, you see that Brad and Luida talk about Knives this way because they know him better than anybody else does, and they accept him unconditionally and with the full knowledge of who he is and what he's done.

Brad and Luida are from the future, where neopronouns are completely unremarkable. There's nothing weird about it. But everybody else is from the 1800s, and I did want to stay grounded in that, at least to a certain extent. I thought about it as...many prejudices have been forgotten, because the original settlers didn't have them in the first place. But I think what Gunsmoke rejects is non-conformity. Even if what you're conforming to is fucking bizarre. I think stuff like Knives' favorite pronouns would be too different for him to want to use them day to day.

(I am sorry that I didn't use them in the narration, or even when talking about him - spellcheck, uh, hated me enough already. You say "Knives opened its mouth" and spellcheck starts frothing at the mouth at the implications of that sentence. And I knew from experience that it would have ended up ridiculous where the pronouns jumped absolutely everywhere. I'd have wanted to practice with shorter stories first. As it stands in the story, Knives uses he/him day to day and it's not uncomfortable for him, so that's how his narration goes.)

[lactosefreevanillayoghurt]

⁉️

[lwieserce]

Feeling deeply sad about uhmmm uhm. Not havijg an easy time connecting with people and not being resourceful. How are losers like me supposed to make it in life.