#technically they could go back to being angels at some point but no one cares but Raph ajshsjs

[momentomori24]

Surprisingly, hearing Vox and Val technically (I love how technically needed to be added) aren't dating didn't upset me as much as I thought it would. It did... for like a minute until I thought about how painfully much it fits them.

Val throws tantrums and is ready go out and kill people to let off steam, but decides to stay put in his room and sulk instead while he waits for his flat-faced prince to come and comfort him before he does anything drastic. He's killed and abused people for the slightest hint of non-compliance, which he sees as giving him an attitude or questioning his authority, but he doesn't so much as flinch when Vox raises his voice and starts shaking him in frustration more than once. He doesn't lash out or get angry when Vox tries to talk him out of marching towards the hotel, but instead listens to his points and takes his words to heart even when they weren't what he wanted to hear. He's not interested in Alastor, but is willing to sit through watching the extermination broadcast because Vox is a passionate football dad about his one-sided rival getting dunked on. He doesn't even act jealous towards Vox's obsession, just weirdly amused and supportive even tho he hates not being the center of attention any other times. And then there's Vox, who acts like he's annoyed to have to put up with Valentino but still does it anyway. He acts disinterested about Val's ranting over Angel until he hears that Angel might've quit because he's an jealous, insecure loser that wants that mf's attention to himself. He lights his cigarette and decides to call up their lowest earners for him to terrorize without being asked just to lighten his mood a little (unrelated but i feel for their employees). He keeps his eyes on him both in his room and when he's at the pub through the cameras he's got everywhere. He takes his hand like one would with a princess and smiles fondly at him before disappearing when noticing they're being watched. He's the only person that Val trusts enough to calm him down when his temper gets the better of him. And Val-- despite his volatile temper and obnoxious quirks-- is someone he respects and cares about, both as his business associate and romantic partner.

And they aren't dating. Val and Vox clearly have a connection and understanding and attraction yet are unable to confront those feelings in fear of being vulnerable. So they aren't dating. Val obsesses over Angel and Vox obsesses over Alastor to distract themselves of the other only to fall back into each other's arms at the end of the day. Even tho they aren't dating. They celebrate, dance, sing, support and shamelessly make out with each other. They're the only ones that would put up with each other's bullshit no matter what-- but for some reason, they're still not dating. They are two of the worst Overlords in Hell, capable of committing so many despicable acts and jumping to immoral tactics for their own gain without any regrets, but opening that door into genuine emotional vulnerability? Acknowledging their softness for each other? That's where they draw the line. They're clearly made for each other, but neither of them dare to step over that line to commit to something more.

Which means that we could get to actually see these changes take place. We could get to see more sides to these two we still haven't seen before. We could get to see them actually start dating and the complicated journey it took to get there. We could get to scream and kick and seeth as these two morons continue to dance around admitting their very much requited romantic feelings for every stupid reason under the sun episode after episode. We could get to see these two fix each other and make each other worse simultaneously. Mostly make each other worse. We could get to see them have a romantic duet. We could get to see them be happy together-- officially together-- while they make life worse for everyone around them.

All this mumbo-jumbo, sleep-deprived ranting will likely not happen, but the potential character growth, the dynamic development, the resolved romantic tension, the SONGS we could get??? I'm clinging onto this hope for dear life until it's ripped from my cold, dead hands.

[cursedkeyboard]

Babies shouldn't grow up ☆ Jason Todd & GN!Reader (PT.5)

What does Jason do after he tries his best and fails spectacularly to keep his nosy family away from his kid? Make sure he is still your favorite when everyone starts spoiling you rotten, of course. [PART ONE ♤ PART TWO ♤ PART THREE ♤ PART FOUR ♤ PART FIVE ♤ PART SIX]

Pairings: Platonic Jason Todd & Child GN!Reader / Batfamily & Child GN!Reader

When everything was said and done, Jason explaining why he didn't want to expose you to more dangers by introducing you but also the reason why he felt compelled to be honest with you about their identities, the bats soon started to try and bond with you

Dick was the first one, as always, and introduced himself as "little wing's one and only older brother"

You giggled when Jason groaned at that, embarrassed, and Dick took that as a win

Dick's older bro charms 1 - Bruce's gloomy dad stare 0

After getting called out by you so directly and plainly, Bruce had been awfully quiet as everyone interacted with you

It wasn't every day he got called out for the worst mistakes he comitted

But he also was still reeling at the fact that he was a damn grandfather

Steph cooed at how small you were, pointing out how even Damian was taller

Which, in Jason's opinion, was totally unfair since you were only eleven while Damian was thirteen, going on fourteen, and had been trained for along time

Also, excuse him, only he could tease you

Dick would be asking Jason one and a million questions about how he'd been taking care of you, your education, health, etc

"Of course I– You think I wouldn't send my kid to school, Grayson?"

His kid, they thought, part giddy part dumbfounded

"Woah, woah, I'm just asking! Technically you're legally dead and the little angel over here doesn't exactly look like you."

Wow, for some reason that really pissed Jason off

He tucked you under his chin, squeezing you gently as you rested your head on his collarbone

"I signed the papers. I'm not fucking dumb, Dick, I've been the legal guardian for about a year now."

At that, Steph stopped trying to take pictures of you with her eyes alone and quirked one of her eyebrows

"Legally?"

"... For the most part."

No one said anything at that, it's not like any of them really followed the law, especially not the old man behind them

You huffed in amusement at that, making Dick and Steph's hearts warm up

Damn, not even an hour into meeting you and they were already feeling those fuzzy, soft feelings in their chests

Needless to say, it wasn't a casual evening but it wasn't what Jason had been dreading, not at all

There was no screaming about him being reckless, no one tried to take you away from him, Bruce didn't even say much

Damian was still a brat and tried to pick on you, judgy little shit, only to get the nastiest clapback that made Dick choke on his spit

They all knew he was just feeling jealous, like every kid feels when a younger, cuter child shows up in the family

Boohoo, Jason thought as he watched fondly as you and Damian bickered, the demon brat was never as cute as my kid

Bruce, despite his melancholic gaze and awkward nature, managed to talk a bit to the both of you

He'd tell Jason that if you ever needed anything, to just use his credit card, no questions asked

Bruce would always be a call away and with Cass slowly taking over the mantle, he had a bit more time in his hands when the League didn't need him

He'd support the both of you to hell and back, his own way of repenting, and all he asked in return was...

For Jason to visit more

Because he was still upset about not having all of his kids home for Christmas

And bring you with him

it was high time you met everyone and became an official member of the family, he already knew exactly where your portrait would go

And despite his hesitance, you wanted to be a part of Jason's entire life, not just a hidden piece

Jason could never say no when you did a terrible impression of puppy dog eyes

So this is how it started; the start of the bats spoiling the hell out of you

After a couple of dinners together, lunch, and a tour around the manor and the batcave, seeing all of their old and new suits, ("Tell me you didnt actually wear this." "Shut it, I was a child." "I'm a child and I'd rather die than ever touch this."), with you glued to Jason's side always, packages started showing up at the doorstep

At first it'd be cute and silly things like a plush of the newest Pokémon and matching scarves for the incoming winter

Maybe even their own merch, because they're all losers deep inside

Then it was Bruce taking over any kind of expenses you and Jason had because, in his words, he wanted Jason to focus on raising you instead of worrying about rent

–Not like he wasn't already using Bruce's money to pay for everything

But he still felt begrudgingly soft at having his dad care for him and his kiddo like that, though he'd never admit it–

And then Babs and Tim upgrading the cyber security all around your block in the chance of a villain attack or any creeps following you home

From Duke and Cass asking Jason to spend time with you for some bonding time to your entire wardrobe turning into designer and your school materials updated by Wayne tech

Fuck, you even had terribly expensive yet thoughtful action figurines from your and Damian's favorite animated shows

The brat tried to hate you for ripping everyone's attention away from him, for making Bruce and Dick all... gooey, but it was hard when you had Todd's knowing eyes and a developing charm that always cracked a smile out of him

Infuriating, like father like kid

But... he liked you, quite a lot

And, throughout it all, Jason was panicking bad

Look, Jason Todd was always a jealous person by nature

He never liked his things touched, never liked sharing his interests in case someone also got interested in it, and he was particularly possessive with the few romantic partners he had

So when your attention was suddenly split among all of his family, Jason felt a little upset

It's like when a cat that usually only likes you allows other people pet it

Jason didn't quite feel betrayed but... that childish fear of not being your favorite person was very real in his head

So he upped his game

Whenever any member of his family gave you a gift, he'd get something better the next day

If they took you to a cool place, say an arcade or the mall to hang out and get to know you better

Jason was already booking tickets to go to Universal and taking you out for nightly motorcycle rides

Damian was insisting on watching the new season of your favorite show?

Next weekend he'd have prepared the living room to look like a cinema, with snacks and popcorn, for a movie marathon

Babs and Steph got you interested in makeup?

Regardless of gender identity, you know Jason would watchevery YouTube tutorial known to man about makeup so you won't have to ask the girls about it

Bruce would grow all fond of you once you got past, but did not forgive nor forget, the things he's done to Jason and started interacting more with him

So once he's talking about how he learned multiple different languages growing up, during one of the monthly family dinners, Jason would already be Googling how to learn another language fast

And god forbid Dick messed with your hair

He was not above picking a fight with Nightwing for ruining the hairstyle he spent hours doing for you

Look, Jason wouldn't be as petty as to keep you away from his family

No, in the contrary, he really, really loved watching you be coddled and loved by some of the most powerful people on earth

Getting the childhood he had so desperately wanted

It allowed that restless part of his soul to settle knowing you had them looking out for you, always

But Jason also would always want to be your number one

Your favorite person

Your hero

You dad

Yeah, he could admit it now without fear, he's definitely your old man

How could he not be when he's cutting apples for your school snack and making sure you go to bed before nine?

Never mind his age, Jason even bought a grill so you two could barbecue on the rooftop, there's no other more dad move than that

So, after a few months of this real life sitcom, when you were both on the couch watching Pride & Prejudice (Jason's choice tonight), all cuddled up and cozy

You'd rest your head on his shoulder and sigh happily

"You don't need to do all this, you know?"

"Hm? Do what, kiddo?"

"Trying to one up everyone. It's funny and I'm not exactly opposed to being spoiled as hell–"

"You're such a brat."

"Shut up– but you'll always be my favorite, you know that, dad."

Oh.

Oh.

Ok. Wow. He was tearing up.

"Oh, fuck off, don't do this to me."

His voice would be a little wobbly as he hid his face in your hair, squeezing you gently in his arms

And you'd giggle and hug him tighter too, your face warming up nervously but no longer afraid of muttering that one little word that had been stuck in your throat for so long

You two were so, so similar in that regard, afraid of overstepping despite the bubbling emotions inside you, the overflowing love threatening to spill out

So much faith and trust, devotion, care, and adoration

And all it took was one sentence to make it all better

"I still wanna go to the convention next week, though."

And Jason would laugh, teary and almost breathless, and press a kiss to your forehead, feeling happier than he's ever felt

"Yeah, okay, you nerd."

Wonder who you got it from

That night solidified it for him, calming his anxieties and petty jealousy

Jason would always be your favorite person

And you wouldalways be his favorite little one

Nothing would ever change that

To be continued... for one last time.

[uhgood-girl]

why jikook?

i've been asking myself this a lot recently bc well, why them? why not tkook? or ynmin? hell, jihope even, they're underrated as hell honestly, have you seen that hot tub video? hobi was ready to unhinge his jaw to swallow jimin whole (and who (jk) could blame him.)

but jikook, in a not joking way, hits different. they always have. it's been years at this point that i've been deep in this rabbit hole (within the larger bts rabbit hole, my god, how deep does it go) but i don't recall making the conscious decision to fall in.

maybe a little background?

i'm a fake love army. actually, if we're getting technical, i'm an outro tear army bc it was in the comments of the freshly released fake love music video that i saw someone recommend outro tear if i enjoyed fake love and then it was over for me. extremely not fake love at first listen, who's voice is second on this track? i NEED to know. i'm a yoongi/rapline bias to this day. fake love still fucks though, don't get me wrong, it's a never skip for me.

for that first year and then some, i consumed backlogged content like it was my day job. i am a prone to hyper-fixations hermit, basically, who was going to stop me? my therapist? nah, she picks her battles.

i watched everything i could get my grubby little hands on like someone would be testing me on it later. (shoutout qdeoks, you were so real) i didn't open stan twitter for the first time till probably the end of 2018, really just in time to be slapped in the face full force with the shitshow that was a hate campaign against these boys i was deeply invested in by then, the likes of which i had never experienced in an online space up to that point. it was a truly, truly wild era, don't ever let anyone tell you differently.

all that to say, i've been here for a hot minute and i developed my own first impressions on bts and the members as individuals in a vacuum. no one had to point jikook out to me, they stuck out on their own.

potentially relevant disclaimer before we continue: i am really really queer. i grew up in the united states conservative deep south and had to change high schools my sophomore year bc i was outed and then violently ostracized for being in a relationship with my same sex best friend at the time. it is safe to say i have a lot of feelings about and experience even when it comes to having to be low key (understatement lol) about who you love. i am not here just to make my barbies kiss.

actually, on that note, jikook wouldnt even be my chosen barbies out of bts. if we're in true fantasy delulu hours here, i would want yoonjin to be real. god, that would be the stuff, they're so old married as it is. peak romance.

i think the first place jikook ever truly caught my attention were the memories dvds. jimin has always been a sweet, bby angel taking care of all his members but i remember thinking that he seemed to pay a little extra, special attention to jungkook. and of course, why not, jk's the maknae after all. all of them have always been doting on him and deservedly so. but in those briefly shown really serious, quiet moments, jimin was often first in line. a spot very easy for him to obtain tbh as jk never seemed to be very far from him anyway. maybe if you've never in real time lived the satellite jeon accusations (hi pandemic army, bless you, i hope you make it to 2025 when we have them all back without restrictions) you might find them easier to dismiss but it was so consistent back then in all of the content being released. and once noticed, i don't know how anyone ever un-notices it. but i was in deep before i even realized the water was boiling.

should i talk about why not tkook? or ynmin, for me? i'm just pulling those as examples bc i know they're the popular contenders here but all joking in the beginning of this post aside, none of the other members interpersonal relationships, in any configuration (sadly, RIP yoonjin romance), have ever struck me as anything other than puppy crush/deep friendship/family. and that's not bc i don't think over half of those men aren't queer in some form or fashion because WHEW, that is an entirely different post and we simply do not have the time to unpack rn but it's not for lack of looking.

i started in a vacuum, but i have by no means stayed there, i walked in all of those front doors and sat down and said "convince me." i've got the time and lack of life, i am ready to be won over. what have i missed?

to this day i still regularly try and check my own confirmation bias, i'm obviously looking for jikook at this stage but i'm still ready on my toes if any of the others want to get crazy. (yoonjin i am rooting for you, we're all rooting for you)

and i'm not here to really persuade or sway anyone one way or another either. there are a 1000 other blogs on this site that can probably offer you better explanations, specific clips, and detailed break downs of moments throughout the years and even then people are going to see what they want to see. i just wanted to write some of my own thoughts down finally.

though...i guess if i had to point to any one single piece of "evidence" it would definitely be tried and true gcf tokyo? but if watching that the first time didn't ring through you like a gunshot, i def don't think there's anything i could say beyond that.

honestly, i think so much of "why jikook" for me boils down to the pit in the bottom of my stomach that i used to get when i first began to notice them. when i got past the initial warm fuzzies inspired by the sincerity of their interactions, my immediate second emotion was concern.

i remember the first time i heard some of the other boys make an offhand joke about them being a couple and i got anxious, fast. i thought hide, hide better, please be safe. i began to pay extra attention to the other members in general too when jikook would do things and felt like i could sometimes see a similar anxiety to my own in their expressions. for a long time, i just worried about them and where i saw other people rejoice in their more obvious moments, i was slow to celebrate.

despite my initial hesitation, it's now been about 5 years since the first time they ever made me double take. they're a few years younger than me but i feel like we've been growing up together. (parasocial? idk her.) they're less conspicuous these days, and for lots of obvious reasons, but i feel like overall, their confidence in themselves and each other is quite high. i know that's probably a funny thing to say in light of this last week especially, but i stand by it. i've seen this song and dance before. i have managed my own expectations in the past, taken full steps back only to be beaten anew over the head so many times with enough "coincidences" i felt borderline foolish to try and deny anything. jikook are truly some sort of neuro-spicy pattern recognition drug, i swear.

and i've never really gotten to talk about any of this with anyone before! i'm shy irl, and shy online apparently bc i have just been lurking around the outer lines of this circle this whole time like some creepy creep but i've decided i'm over it. fuck it. growth.gif. idk that i have anything important or new to contribute to the conversation but my god, no one else seems to let that stop them so i might as well take my turn on the soapbox, no?

so 📢 JIKOOK REAL (?) jikook sus. jikook make bandaged queer little heart go boom boom.

[ochrearia]

ether

I'm normal (lying) and I needed to put this somewhere so bad and it's still not enough but YS I'm sorry. I'm making you suffer even more but you need to understand we're basically the same at this point and you're really the only bitch that I can pretend like feels exactly what I feel. Fuck. RGBFverse prompts aren't just silly fiction anymore

Every damn prompt in the last two or so days has been real. Been me. I feel like that was obvious

BFs in this one-shot: Yourself (YS)

God it was getting rather ridiculous now. Could he even blame it all on the angelic instincts anymore? Sure, they certainly didn’t help, but that wasn’t… it wasn’t quite the same. At least, YS wasn’t really sure if it was or not. The guardian angel thing, that was more of a possessive protectiveness that flared up practically any time he saw or thought about his people he’d attached to. Which, good god, he was understanding why angels didn’t attach to this many people. It was bad enough to have one person taking up all your thoughts on any given day, because you were hard-wired to dedicate yourself to them, but he was at what, fifteen now? Probably more. And he wasn’t stopping his erratic attaching either. He’d probably keep making that number go up. Not like he was known to make good choices.

But this felt a little different. YS was no stranger to working himself up into trances over the sheer amount of sappy, sentimental thoughts he started getting over any given brother. And it wasn’t like those thoughts were specific to one idea. The protectiveness rang true in those trances and made itself known through his half-aware mumbling. And paired with it came thoughts of love, and appreciation, and everything in between he had no idea how to name.

But… were the trances even because of his angelic instincts? Or did he just feel so damn deeply about things in general? Suppose YS couldn’t really recall feeling much of these trances before he started meeting all of his brothers. Maybe he had thoughts pooled together like this about her, and he was sure of that but he probably just never considered it as a “trance”. Because it’s not alien to just love your girlfriend that much that you think every nice thought possible about her, right? And he used to be able to kiss her any time he wanted, show properly his affection and she’d understand it. Maybe feel it too.

So what the fuck was going on here? Every time his brain snagged on a thought about a brother it was like a fucking disaster was set off. YS very much didn’t care in terms of ‘what affection he could express’ compared to what he ‘couldn’t’, because it was all going to slip out at some point eventually. If you asked him, he was technically not allowed to express any type, because he didn’t deserve to, but Beefer would sooner crash straight through his mirror in full dino form and try to like, eat him or something. Because he could tell when YS was being an ass to himself and was sticking very clearly to his ‘job’ of butting in before it kept going.

God his heart. YS was going to die it felt like, because fuck, why did his heart have to ache so bad thinking about his brothers? Tripping himself up over the fact they cared about him, dizzying his own mind over the concept of being loved by anyone, much less this many people. And yeah, okay, sure, they were all technically the same person. And there was probably some merit to his previous idea of reality getting confused when there were two or more of them in the same world. Getting so cuddly for nothing because it felt like they had to become whole again despite not being fractured at all. But this was just… something else.

He loved so hard. Holy fuck, he really did to the point it was debilitating. That’s really what it was. It was debilitating, completely paralyzing him on the spot despite things he needed to be doing. It was so much, almost all the time, it took days sometimes for the ache in his chest to go away for a little, only for it to come back later to torment him again. It was like YS almost couldn’t breathe sometimes, thinking in a spiral of how much love he had for the people in his life now, people loving him back, caring for him, quite literally making him want to wake up to be alive tomorrow so he could keep them in his mind again and maybe even spend time with them. Family like he’d never experienced before, because angels in his world didn’t really care about each other. Couldn’t, when they had others to attach to.

God YS had so much of it to give. That was all he really wanted to do. Give, give it all, drain his heart to empty and still continue giving because he could, and that’s what his brothers deserved and more. Giving the world to the people he loved. For the asshole he believed so much couldn’t want things, he wanted this so badly. Give all of himself away, unhealthy mindset be damned. He would do anything for his people. Because he cared. He cared, so much, and that thought was powerful enough alone to bring slight tears to YS’s eyes. Truth, raw and strong.

But that was the problem. He’d give everything. But he couldn’t give this feeling in his chest, the swirling in his brain, raw emotions that rippled in his body like tsunamis but were confined there. YS had no way to directly broadcast the exact things he felt, and it was like he was dying. Because it was all trapped and it wasn’t fair. Words weren’t enough, actions weren’t enough. None of what he’d been doing so far was enough no matter what he shared. And god, it was so bad, but he’d been describing it all with such negative words when it was literally the opposite.

He’d take being debilitated like this over any other kind of feeling, any day. Wanted this. Wanted.

This was… possessive. Very possessive. His brothers. Every single one of them. His. His to love and hold and appreciate, his to care for and lift up. And not a single damn regret about it. Too possessive? Probably, but this was all so new to him. He’d never done this before, in fact, he doubted that any angel had done this before. Attaching to this many people and feeling just as equally strong about each one. It was so much. And he could never give enough.

So important, all of them. Stuck in YS’s brain and he couldn’t get them out. And it didn’t matter how much he spoke about this to them, telling them point-blank that he loved them, holding them tight and not letting go until told, it was still just… not enough for what he felt in his heart.

YS’s heartbeat was freakishly slow. As were angel’s heartbeats. Probably didn’t help with the whole cold-blooded thing either. But every time he worked himself up into a trance, getting so mind-swirlingly loving, possessive, and almost needy, his heart would speed up. Noticeably speed up, because Beef had pointed it out before. God, he was so disgustingly sweet in his actions and that was mortifying to admit. Biff had a habit of saying it like it was though.

Tear my heart out of my chest, lay bare the ache it holds and feels because I cannot fucking take it anymore. I want you all to know. I wish I could perfectly convey it, I wish you could all feel what I feel, know how powerful my love and care really is, and if it’s too much then I’m so sorry. But it’s exactly what you deserve, and still more. Wonderful to me, kind to me, after all of my mistakes, stains on the world because of my wrong choices. People that aren’t here anymore because I didn’t do enough. But you’re all still here. And I know I have done nothing to deserve any of you.

YS felt like he was dying. But that was okay. If he got to die feeling so positively, then it would be his final victory.

God, I love you all. I promise. For the rest of my time here I will try to convey that as it is. For the rest of my time here I will work to repay and make up for everything I may put you through and you still stay.

For the rest of his time here. However long he’s wanted. And he hoped that would be forever, but that was usually never the case.

So he would love, like it would be over tomorrow.

[androgynousblackbox]

Types of sex [Radioapple, Appleradio]

A03 link

Up until being with Lucifer, Alastor only knew about sex like a transaction at the absolute best. Something you do because it will give you something in return or something expected by another party. If there is not an actual motive for it, it's completely worthless and irrelevant to the rest of his life.

After Lucifer enters his bed, he starts learning about all the different kinds of sex there are.

The lazy sex in which he wakes up to a morning wood already poking him from behind and Lucifer whispers if he can use his ass or thighs to relieve himself, and he says yes, the build slowly making him grind back. He doesn't always finish or touches himself, but it feels nice all the same. The quick and messy sex of the "I have to have you right now, right here, or I will go insane" variety that is like a whole hurricane trapped in a jar, contained to this one moment in which he truly could not care about the rest of the world. His head is still spinning when he has to try to fix his clothing. The passionate and full of hands everywhere sex that turns into slow and full of soft kisses sex that burn his skin all the same. The slow one sex that speeds up to the point he has to grab to the head of the bed and leaves his legs useless, his body electrified as every blood vessel is fighting to come down to a normal rythm. The casual sex in the afternoon when they have nothing else better to do, so might as well do this, usually with some giggles involved because Lucifer keeps saying he looks so pretty like that and he has to hide his face on the shoulder of the fallen angel. The "we had a fight and I am still a bit mad, but I mostly just want to be around you and that somehow turned into this" sex that no matter how many times does he play it on his mind, he can never understand how it happened. They don't remember either why they were fighting in the first place or decide it wasn't worth it anyway. The failed sex that seemed to be going there, but then something happens. A problem with the hotel, people needing their attention, Lucifer deciding to talk about something and he won't stop, so Alastor stays on his lap and listens. The little touches and kisses that don't leave him feeling like he is actually missing anything.

The continuation of the failure sex that always feels like a relief and a secret promise that, even if the world does keep existing and demanding attention, this is also important.

The foreplay that very well could be sex with how good it feels and he is later shocked to realize that it wasn't technically sex.

The sex where Lucifer fills his ears with soft words of encouragement, compliments, little secrets about how he thought about him during the day, and doesn't shut up except for kissing, making him feel small and vulnerable in a way that he has no idea how to properly understand, so when they do reach the sex there is an element of comfort there, because this at least he can handle.

The ridiculous and silly sex, because they both can't be serious for too long, so someone makes a stupid joke or something goes wrong and they giggled about it like two idiots while their bodies are still connected. The snort of Lucifer just makes him laugh even more. This one never feels like a failure, even if none of them finishes and the mood changes entirely.

The sex through the radio because fuck phones when Lucifer has to attend some issue in any of the other rings where Alastor isn't allowed to accompany him, so that is the only way for them to communicate. It doesn't really do anything for Alastor, physically at least, but he loves to hear Lucifer moan on the other side while talking about what he imagines doing to Alastor if they could be in the same room. Lucifer's voice was already beautiful, but it was extra lovely then, hoarse and worked up, going deep when he was reaching the climax and in the end saying his name with a low curse that almost felt like a claw running down his spine. The only sound that he wished he could record to repeat it over and over again.

He still doesn't understand why people obsess over sex overall. Alone or with someone else. In his opinion, it's not about sex at all. Lucifer is the real difference and he will the only demon in hell to know about it.

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

I’m not very articulate unfortunately but now that I’ve made this sideblog I wanted to get some thoughts out. I do see the logic when folks say that Arthur mostly experienced bad things in regards to magic, so it makes sense why he was wary of it/didn’t alter the laws since he didn’t know about Merlin’s guardian angel tendencies/etc. BUT. If we’re going with the magic is a queer metaphor (or just using it as one of many real life parallels) then I got to say. If you’re homophobic or your dad’s a queerphobic/bigoted politician who sanctions their murder and you haven’t explicitly said oh yeah I really don’t agree with that. Then queer people will probably not go out of their way to be kind to you while also letting you know they’re queer. They’re going to be wary and many will be antagonistic, and if there are queer people in your life they’ll probably keep mum because saying anything risks their life/security, and even freedom, in a way that’s distinct and sometimes worse than the restriction of freedom the closet imposes. 

In the same vein I feel like well if magic was banned in Camelot, and we know that even innocent people using it for, idk, healing a cut, got persecuted, then why would magic users be tripping over themselves to explicitly show Arthur how they’re using “good” magic. It’d put them in danger! Even if they were being helpful they’d not be telling Arthur they were being magically helpful (on account of the tyrant father’s laws still existing). Only sorcerers who are about to Revenge it Up (or power-grab it up) will likely be found out as sorcerers (on account of the occasional monologue and gold flashing eyes as they try to stab u).

Arthur just couldn’t have realistically seen an equivalently diverse number of people doing benevolent magic as long as all magic, no exceptions, was technically still illegal. (Though he does see some instances of ‘good’ magic!)

And about magical people close to Arthur not telling him for so long (Merlin, Morgs), I think they had many understandable reasons. At one point if you live long enough in a place where various parts of your identity can be legally prosecuted, or are liable to be socially persecuted, it’s physically hard to even get the words out. From personal experience the fear is just very encompassing, and it sucks to think that you very likely have to bear agression or worse if you want to let people you care about know. Plus, for Merlin I imagine a part of the situation was that telling Arthur would risk their closeness, which is pretty important to his ability to protect him. And Merlin believes that if he protects Arthur, the prophecy dictates at some point in the future magic will be legalized (which it does become, but it’s mentioned so briefly at the end. Could we not have had a happier ending??) :( I have a lot of other thoughts on this specific topic that I’ve tearfully jotted down over the years about how I understand why Merlin didn’t tell his friends (I’m less tearful about it now haha I was just Going Through It back then), but I fear I’ll still be incomprehensible and even more rambly, so I’ll avoid doing that right now. ANYWAY sorry for the ramble. I just made this sideblog and realized I can share some of the things that have been rolling around in my mind for years. Okay now I’m gonna go back to being in denial over the ending :) 

[rius-cave]

It was honestly a very random thought while trying to fall asleep but now I'm unable not to think about it. So the classic sinner!Adam plot is that Lucifer helps him and protects him and all. But it jumped to my mind, what would happen if the tables turned? In theory, of course, because it couldn't happen, Lucifer is extremely powerful, he's the devil and all.

But either way, imagine this scenario. Adam is already a sinner, Lucifer helped him, provided safety and protection, and even though it wasn't exactly just a simple "kind and selfless act", it's still how Adam was able to avoid being ripped to shreds by other demons.

Then, Lucifer is suddenly stripped from all his power. Let's say that he can get harmed now just like any sinner/angel, and let's take Charlie and the others out of the picture for now. It can be just temporaty, but he can't do anything about it. No matter what kind of person or king he is, I'm very sure that many demons would try to take him down if they knew about that. It's hell, after all.

Would Adam help Lucifer in a situation like that? Would he atleast try to protect him, or like, keep him from harm, probably risking his own safety with it? (given that he's not nearly as powerful as Lucifer is normally and now he can't be protected anymore)

Or would he leave completely? I honestly believe he would rather do that. Just save his own skin, definitely not dealing with the shit of those demons. Even though they would be after Lucifer, who did technically save him (albeit not risking anything with it)

However I don't think he wouldn't care. I'm not sure if he would feel much guilt, he would probably just tell himself that he has no reason to risk anything for that fucker. But I don't believe he could truly dismiss the situation, especially if they already bonded somewhat.

So yeah I just kinda wanted to share this, and if you have any thoughts about it I'd like to hear them

nod nod, I see, hmmm, very curious.

You're right, it is unorthodox to have Lucifer being the one stripped from power for a change. I was initially going to suggest a whole AU completely, but I'm sensing that the point is to explore the possibility of this scenario while still keeping the entire Devil and First Man context, right?

Indeed, I think the result of this would depend on hooooowww much exactly Adam has bonded or been involved with Lucifer by that point. If he had recently fallen? Oh, he'd actually enjoy it, and would root for Lucifer to be ripped to shreds lol. Probably he'd feel a sick sense of satisfaction for everything he did to him + thinking that he finally feels what he's been feeling as a sinner this whole time etc etc.

If they had bonded a little by that point, then yeah I agree, he'd still get away, but I think it's important to take Charlie + the others (maybe even the other sins?) into consideration, because Lucifer wouldn't be left COMPLETELY alone, ya know? Unless this was like... a sudden situation and Adam and Lucifer were completely isolated from their friends for some reason.

In that situation, I could maybe see Adam "pretending" not to be protecting Lucifer, ya know? Like, fighting the other demons, but saying it's only to save his own skin and all that (despite the demons being there primarily for Lucifer). If they're in some sort of alliance, however fragile, there's still a chance that Adam would stand up for him out of sheer inertia. You know, they're like, technically together at least in a non-hostile manner, so if a bunch of people come to attack them, your first instinct would be to fight back and all that?

I think it depends on what kind of attack and immediate context they find themselves in, what place, what people present, what was the conversation they were having right before, etc, etc.... all these variables would influence whether or not Adam would protect him, and to what extent.

ALTERNATIVELY, one way that Adam could definitely defend him, would be in a more social way. Imagine Lucifer is having a meeting in Heaven or whatever, and he's obviously getting nasty looks from literally everyone. In that regard, I think Adam would definitely be offended and angry in his behalf. One angel gives Lucifer a look and Adam jumps up like "WHAT? What's your problem, asshole, huh!? Can't mind your own fucking business???", meanwhile Lucifer looks at him with a lovestruck puppy face lolol

[livewireprojects]

Old Sonic sketches that would lead to my Lost Prince AU(Slight spoilers & lots of rambling)

As the title says this was stuff for a past version of my Sonic stuff before I made my Lost Prince AU. I guess you could say I've been working on this stuff for a long time & these are in a sense the stepping stones to my stuff.

The dates for when I scanned stuff is on the pic cause it's interesting to learn how old these are & cause I had to edit stuff due to images being too light when I scanned them(plus everything was saved as a bmp because png files opened photoshop & I didn't know how to fix it as a kid) but if they're not there I'll mention the date if it's mentioned in the DA posts I got these from in my gallery.

I've put a keep reading due to how long this is(as if I haven't left other long posts without it in the past) & also because it's slightly spoilery for my Lost Prince stuff. Things have been edited/redone over time but there's still some stuff that would be a spoiler for later events in my stuff. I also ramble a lot in this & at points mention stuff meant to go in the current version to show similarities or differences between the old & present versions.

Just a heads up my self-insert Sonicsona cause for some reason I'm just there at points. My Sonicsona went threw a few designs changes when I was younger. This was also before I became a guy.

Another warning is that this was back when I didn't like Amy as much so she's not exactly drawn in a good light at points.(In the more current version I've worked on things)

There's also a bizarre thing at the end that also mentions weird crossovers(scrapped ideas that will make sense later) & mentions of violence. I'm sorry I just thought I'd explain some of this weird plot that has been changed over the years. Again a lot of this is no longer in my version of Sonic.

The moment Sonic disappeared after Sonic Underground. I think I was working on a comic for the series(too ambitious & too much to deal with at the time) with this being a prologue page.

For context Knuckles tried to save Sonic from falling off Angel Island while it was raining & Sonic let go because if he knew neither he nor Knuckles would survive falling off the island if this kept going. The dialogue is muted by the rain, I dunno the context behind Sonic being struck by lightning was because I don't have it in my current stuff.

You read this like a manga page.

Images of Sonic while living with his dad after Jules found him when Sonic some how survived the fall from Angel Island.

Jules wasn't originally a mage studying chaos energy just some guy with powers thanks to his studies in chaos energy which he used to heal Sonic. In this he has a locket with him & Sonic in it, I have no idea why there's a doodle of Shadow & Sonic since Sonic won't meet Shadow for 50(in the new one technically 40) years. I think this is a ref to scrapped stuff involving an OC of mine named Kiku that was at one point meant to be Sonic's reincarnation before I scrapped stuff.

A moment of Jules being a parent & cleaning up Sonic I think possibly after finding Sonic.(I'm guessing this since Sonic is catatonic/dissociating due to injuries & amnesia so he wouldn't have tried to run around)

This is based off of a scene from Digimon Tamers I watched as a kid from a scene meant to be a flashback of Jeri being cared for by her dad.

I think this was meant to be comic pages in the style of a photo album. Going off the top pics this is going in a Z or zig zag instead of manga panels like the prologue comic.

lol This was done on triple 12, if only the time was 12:12 then it'd really be multiple 12s.

Left to right

First/top row:

So a difference between then & now is that the past version of Jules when he was unable to care for Sonic anymore left him with Vanilla & her husband(this was before I made Cake) while current Jules left Sonic at a hidden home. I think the idea was that Sonic Underground happened only a couple years back instead of 50-40 years ago. Because Vanilla & her spouse weren't born back then & I dunno where Chuck was Jules ended up keeping Sonic alone for safety instead of getting help when Jules couldn't keep an eye on him.

Anyway these two pics are Jules leaving Sonic with Vanilla & her spouse cause he trusts them to keep him safe. Sonic just sits there on the couch.

Second row:

-I have no idea how this guy died, Cake died helping clean up leftover Robotnik bases but that's an idea from later on. Prototype Cake left behind a wife, a baby daughter & an adopted son that kind of blames himself.

-Sonic starts to express himself more as he starts to accept he's in a better place. Here he is interacting with toddler Cream who has started to walk.

Third Row:

-Sonic either hanging out or going on adventures with Tails & Knuckles

-Amy chasing Sonic

Fourth/Bottom Row:

-Old design of my Sonicsona with an ex friend's OC Tae, they're only an ex-friend because we don't talk anymore. We kinda drifted apart & I mistakenly weirded her out cause I didn't know how to tone things down until later on.(Also kind of weird due to my wild imagination with weird crossovers & shit) I could go into more detail but I'll just leave it there cause this isn't about past relationships.

-My Sonicsona taking a picture after noticing Sonic & Shadow kissing in the background

I put this in with the post I made with all my past Lara stuff(as in "Fuck you Ken, *makes Lara-Su a Knuxouge kid*" shit), once again I don't know why I gave a child version of her teen Lara's outfit.

So at some point Eggman blinds Sonic & Sonic has been trying to get as far away as possible after escaping. I had no idea when I drew this that Angel Island was a thing thanks to most of my understanding of Sonic coming from fandom stuff & especially Sonic X which either doesn't mention Angel Island or I missed the episode/episodes that do mention it. So pretty much Sonic(after getting patched up & his eyes covered) is wandering the forest & manages to find Lara who is playing out there & decided to play guard.

For some reason I remember that Sonic has no idea who Lara is & Knuckles/Rouge never told him not Lara who each other are. I have no idea why that is & that's been fixed in the present version. Anyway Lara thinks he's a stranger that's getting too close to where the Master Emerald is. I don't remember how this goes but things are eventually sorted out & Sonic is introduced to her later on.

This is the image that needed the warning about past thoughts on Amy, I'm pretty sure she gets better eventually but I might be wrong because I only remember some things.

So Sonic doesn't want anyone to know he's blind & is trying to act like everything is fine but at the same time is acting a little distant at points. Amy is pissed he's ignoring her which has led to her raging & causing a scene, this is has led to Shadow taking notice of how odd Sonic has been lately.

While in this version Amy is mad that Sonic is ignoring her & pissed her attempts at a date are repeatedly rejected at this point(so kind of being selfish) in the current version she'd be mad because she's honestly worried. In the current version Amy would be getting mad because she's worried as a friend that someone she's close to is acting strange along with something clearly being wrong.

So Shadow(who for some reason I give a ponytail in this version) is in the background, Sonic is trying to ignore Amy(who is yelling), my old Sonicsona is pissed at Amy, I think I drew Starrk from Bleach cause he was my husbando at the time, Vector is trying to leave, the one with black hair is Tae(a past friend of mine's OC) & I have no idea who is next to her.

For some context at some point after Sonic was blinded he ended up nearly drowning in a river while it's raining at night. Shadow thanks to Amy's outburst & finally noticing something is off has been trying to keep an eye on Sonic which leads to Shadow partly stripping so he can jump into the river to save Sonic.(Dunno why he stripped since it's raining so he's already wet, I guess so it's easier to go after Sonic)

After getting back on "dry" land Sonic just breaks & cries as he clings to Shadow cause he's just had enough. He can't see, things are changing, he's scared & has just had enough of everything going on. Shadow is shocked cause he's never seen Sonic like this.

This scene hits a little worse in the present version as Sonic purposely fell into the river or was about to cause I dunno if he managed to fall in then get saved or if Shadow stopped him. What makes things worse is that Sonic is a parent when this happens & left his kid with Vanilla cause he knew his kid would be safe with her should anything happen to him. Actually I think Vanilla called Shadow to go find Sonic cause she knew something was going to happen.

Sonic's son(I'm pretty sure someone figured it out but for some reason I'm trying to be vague until a certain point in time) doesn't exist in this version but his younger half brother eventually exists in this. Sadly enough Sonic was pregnant with his son's half brother when Shadow saved him in the present version, not only that Shadow is the father. My explanation is Eggman had a weird cloning ray that went wrong so Sonic ended up with a kid twice. This all is meant to happen when he's older.

Final image in this collection of past sketches I found in my DA gallery.

For some slightly unnecessary context my self-insert Sonicsona use to live with a bunch of other Sonic fan characters in what was this odd building on the edge of an abandoned city.(For some reason named the forgotten valley cause the city I guess in a way was valley like) The building was full of mysteries & was semi turned into a place for people to live in as well as a place for travelers to stay at with their own rooms.(And Tails Doll in the very bottom basement locked in a mini freezer)

After rescuing Sonic, Shadow took Sonic to my place(apparently it was closer than going home) to get cleaned up & have somewhere safe to rest for the night. After helping Sonic get dry/warm & everyone was settled down Sonic finally confessed to everything that happened as well as the fact he's blind.

Shadow(who I thought it was funny if his fur/quills fluffed up after getting dry, I know this is a bad time for a joke) agrees to let Sonic stay with him & help the blue hedgehog deal with the situation he was currently in. Thanks to helping Sonic recover from the state he was currently in(depressed, struggling to deal/cope with everything) as well as help Sonic learn to navigate around being unable to see the two became close. The two eventually becoming a couple & got married before eventually having kids.

Things go slightly differently in the present version but a summarized version is similar. Shadow finds Sonic, they talk things out & Shadow helps Sonic(plus his son) out. Shadow & Sonic start a relationship while helping Sonic recover. Eventually they get end up in a relationship with Mephiles & get married.

Yeah surprisingly given stuff I made in the past Mephiles isn't in the picture until my recent stuff. I think this is partly due to my Butterfly Effect AU not being a part of this at the time.(Well Silver still got family but nothing else happened)

Bonus pic

Please be aware you can ignore everything after the 3rd paragraph(mentioning the short version) if you want. While it explains the end of my child self's(I was in middle school & then part way into high school before changes happened)

This is technically related, this is from some scrapped ideas caused by a younger me having amalgamations of crossovers going threw my head. I imagine crossovers all the time still but not an amalgamation like this.

Before I go into rambling the image is an old version of my OC Kiku, his boyfriend & Lavi(from D.Grayman) who is off camera reacting badly to cooking. The person with the chef hat in the corner is I think named Eri, she's an OC from the person that made Tae & this is a joke about her being unable to cook.

The short version of this is that Kiku was meant to be Sonic's reincarnation & his boyfriend was Shadow's reincarnation.

So for context the tiny character in the corner is the old design of my OC Kiku who is a Blindshipping fankid. In this moment he is some how a Diclonius(from Elfen Lied & no he's not a queen nor ones that are caused from infecting others & age quickly he just has the cat horns & the powers), is a backup Arcobaleno(Katekyo Hitman Reborn), an ex-test subject(inspired by the Maximum Ride manga) & for some reason Allen Walker's(D.Grayman) reincarnation which is why an arrow for Lavi is going off camera & why the guy next to Kiku is meant to look like Kanda.(Because he is) I later stopped the D.Grayman stuff but kept how Kiku's boyfriend looked cause I really liked Kanda's design.

In present day Kiku has been split into two people. The Blindshipping OC Kiku & Chrysanthemum(Nicknamed Sammy) whois suppose to be the son of Martin Mystery from the cartoon of the same name. They are technically each other from different dimensions. Sammy still has the ex-test subject thing but all the other stuff was scrapped. Also Kiku's boyfriend still looks a little like Kanda still due to having some relation to Dark Magician who has a similar hair when Kanda's hair isn't in a ponytail.

Here's them side by side in the most recent drawing of them.

So like I mentioned in the short version(just so I could get to the point for anyone that didn't want to look at the rest of the rambling) past me had Kiku meant to be Sonic's reincarnation.

I'm not proud of this but the idea was that my version of the Sonic series ends with Eggman injuring Sonic & faking Sonic's death at a festival before patching him up & putting him in a suit that controlled Sonic. Shadow would raise their kids alone while fighting against this new "robot" until years later on the same night he lost Sonic(during the same festival) before breaking the suit, learning Sonic was alive this whole time & the two dying in a fire finally together & freed from Eggman.

After that some stuff involving Bleach were they were tested on by the captain of the 12 squad. Sonic goes on to meet a girl in the living world & go on adventures with her. Shadow who doesn't remember anything would sometimes show up to keep an eye on them or help. At some point Sonic would finally get Shadow to remember & Shadow would be horrified of his actions. They both have something on them that keeps them connected to the world so they untie/remove what keeps them tethered after saying goodbye to Sonic's friend.

After this they are reincarnated as children that were kidnapped & tested on. Shadow(Called Yu when not being called an experiment code) had two friends that nickname themselves Feather(cause her hair is feathery & looks like feathers tied up) & Sound.(A joke on the fact he refuses to talk & uses sign language) At some point they meet patient BK201(their code name that the doctors call them, also Darker Than Black ref) who all the staff were nervous about because he's too powerful & was under the control of a fucked up doctor(ironic considering these people) before he was removed.

At some point a lot of experiments escape or are killed trying, BK201 fakes Yu/Shadow's, Feather & Sound's deaths so they can be dumped outside & get to safety while the doctors caught BK201. Feather & Sound disappear, Yu/Shadow is taken in by someone, makes friends & at some point remembers his past.

Something led to Yu meeting Kiku(at the time named Chrysnathemum which ironically is what Kiku translates into) & was a bit distant with them but eventually warmed up to them. Yu liked him but was unable to get over BK201 who he believed died after being caught. At some point he found out Kiku was actually BK201, BK201 was forced to be kept on a tighter leash as they did more tests until being rescued & taken to his parents who helped him recover.(Atem & Yugi) BK201's parents also helped take down the organization that kidnapped him & other kids to be experiments.

Yu warms up even quicker thanks to learning this is his missing friend/childhood crush that saved him. At some point they start dating, work on the fact they remember being Sonic & Shadow while going on more adventures. At some point they meet Feather & Sound(who is talking now that he's in a safer place) who turn out to be Blaze & Silver's reincarnations, the two disappeared because they had apparently come from the future & ended up kidnapped while seeing the past.

At the end after many adventures & stuff Yu & Kiku move to the country side to live a peaceful life. Silver & Blaze live with them when Yu & Kiku eventually make it to the time they're from with Silver turning out to be their son. They're all immortal & can finally live their lives in peace without having to worry about Eggman or anything else they dealt with in this new life.

There was some other stuff like at one point Kku being part werewolf/vampire later changed to part mummy(Atem), at one point being part saiyan & having a cousin that was not only part saiyan but Blackfire's(from Teen Titans) daughter & at one point a Mew(I called her Mew Mint Chocolate Chip) before I scrapped it since I don't watch Tokyo Mew Mew/Mew Mew Power. At one point I also had Atem a revived version of himself but the reincarnation of Tuxedo Mask(Dunno how this works) & Yugi the reincarnation of Usagi from Sailor Moon.

Oh yeah I also for some reason brought in Secret Saturdays by having Manic's boyfriend be Kur who ended up teleporting to Earth & becoming the Kur from the show after something messed him up around the time Shadow & Sonic died. Manic is reincarnated as Kiku's brother which makes sense because Sonic.

There's a lot of crossover shit but I semi forgot about it & I'm only aware there was crossover shit. I've calmed down on some of this & obviously things have changed.

There's no reincarnation stuff with my present Sonic stuff & no crazy crossover stuff. While I often imagine crossover stuff it's calmed down some compared to my past crossover amalgamation ideas.

I'm not going to tell you how Lost Prince AU ends in this but immortality & finally able to be at peace does happen.

Sorry for the bonus wild ride, hope you were able to deal with all of this. Sorry for rambling & the fucked up bonus rambling.

[voidcat]

— embrace the poison

characters: dazai osamu, you

notes/warnings: implied toxic relationship, dazai and you being exes and getting back together, dazai implied to be manipulative from the sidelines and basically make one person leave your life.

this is technically a follow up to the fic ‘mutual intoxication’ self-indulgent fic as always !!

The calm of the day and the idle rush of the city, the unkind breeze of the winter strokes your cheeks, further making you tense up and smallen.

With the cold and a fiery mind irritated at things one too many, the state of your shoulders– or the rest of your body for that matter, do not come into your attention until you feel a pair of hands there, slowly kneading the flesh under layers of cloth.

At this point, you do not need to turn to confirm this is Dazai, just as once before.

So much for moving on and pretending he doesn’t exist– that the two of you didn’t exist. He has taken root once more and does not seem to be willing to let go.

Not just yet, not until he has all of you to himself, your undivided attention, your touch, your warm breath, your cold gaze and empty smiles as well as the rare occasions you let go of the mask.

Maybe that online gimmick you pulled wasn’t all for vain after all.

Sure, you are annoyed at how dense one can be, the sheer audacity of their words– or, at least your interpretation of it, but how can you not, when it was all talked and agreed on before, stated on clear terms? What does that make you then, what position does that put you in? Some sort of indecent person maybe, take things a little further, reach a little longer and call it being an attention whore, worse things if you get creative but you doubt that would be needed in their case. They can assume whatever the hell they want for all you care.

Dazai was right, you hate to admit it, as his fingers dig into your skin, it is lost on you entirely when the two of you made it back inside.

The cafe under the agency is as welcoming as ever but it is the work of dazai’s skilled hands that has you melting into the cushions.

In the heat of ranting, quoting whatever you could recall from past conversations and messages  and good ol’ hypothermia setting in, you hadn’t even noticed.

It doesn’t matter any longer, for Dazai Osamu is here– by your side again, with all the mess, and how tainted your souls can be, for all the toxic purple ooze born from your unison, this feels better– right.

Though you’d rather be caught dead than to ever say that in his vicinity. Spoiling the man too much could always blow into your face, and nobody wants a face all blown up, exploded and has nothing left but the distorted bones.

Dazai Osamu was right once more, you deserve someone to match your wits and pick up on your meanings before you can even finish the sentences. Someone to clash your teeth with, baring your fangs, all claws and snarks when needed, to keep up that excitement, never tame, never settling down, do not show mercy nor compromise.

Gentle hands massage your scalp, leaving you at a loss for a moment. After so long of just clashing and crashing, then avoidance and playing pretend, you have forgotten underneath the demon, the prodigy, the fallen angel; Dazai Osamu can be kind and gentle, radiating comfort with his very existence. 

In the blink of an eye, everything returns back to ‘normal’– or what you may call that. It takes a while to not care about anything again but once the seed is planted, the deed is done.

People at the agency have missed you, they say and you accept their exclaims with open arms and a big smile. 

It hasn’t been the same around without you, Dazai hasn’t been the same, blah blah blah, same old same old. 

What catches your attention though is that Dazai has begun spending more time on work, or so Atsushi says. You cannot blame the kid when even Kunikida takes his extra hours on the device as working.

But you know a fire when you smell incense in the air. 

And above all, you know Dazai Osamu.

So you do not pry, you do not bother checking his devices this time or to see if the end of his  hard worker period aligns with the time they have started dating someone.

Why should you bother, poke the hornet’s nest when this is all working in your favor? 

If your suspicions are true, Dazai is only helping you out in the long term really, it is but a technical detail that just happens to redirect your attention and thirst for it back to him.

What good comes from a person who makes you want to rip your hair off, strangle yourself and gag for a good decent of the time you converse with them after all? And it’s just cherry on top, for you at least, that suddenly their way of acting and talking switches and even labels an innocent thing you’ve said as flirtatious. 

Their loss, not yours, it was them who talked of people acting all close and all only to leave, ask you to not leave their side after all. If they care so much, they would’ve acted smarter.

Then again, how much can you blame this on them if they are incapable of the act itself? 

It doesn't matter, you can hear Dazai’s honeyed voice whisper into your ear– the small Dazai in the back of your head, not the real one, for the real one does not even require to state the obvious for such a person.

Shooting a glance around the office, you see their most treasured detective taking a nap, Kunikida across you typing passionately on his computer.

A moment’s breath later, Dazai reemerges from the kitchen, holding two mugs of hot beverage.

From the scent alone you can tell it’s your favorite, made to perfection, as always.

As difficult and complicated of a person Dazai Osamu may be, he has his ways of showing he cares, no matter how… concerning some might be, or even obsessive– as some might have called it if they knew the depth of things.

Dazai’s love is twisted, his display of it, his way of declaring, acting out on it; and so is yours– all leashes and grips.

It is beautiful in a tragic sense, really, how the two of you make it work, the harmony of this darkness intervening, enabling one another.

Not as bad as it sounds when it scratches that itch in your brains and hearts– the two of you were respective wrecks on your own already– crashing into one another meant no harm, only casualties.

When Dazai wraps an arm around, you lean back, your hand placed on his.

Why deny what you had and settle for something inferior to your tastes when Osamu always brings a mouthful of excitement to the way of things, the dull stream of river called living?

[feralbutfluffy]

44: Crowley

Chapter 44 of Too Wise to Woo Peaceably

***

Crowley had just had, quite literally, a Hell of a day. 

First, he’d been picked up, stripped down to the studs, and put back together. 

Then, he’d watched Aziraphale fight The Metatron, helped him make the bastard disappear, and now they were finally back at the bookshop where Aziraphale had just admitted to wanting him - quite desperately, he’d said - over eighty years ago. Crowley wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with the information but he figured he was entitled to at least a minute to process it.

Aziraphale obviously didn’t agree. He was tearing at the skin of his middle finger with the nail of his thumb, looking more irritated by the second.

‘Well, know it now,’ he’d said, the impatient, haughty tone of it suggesting there was an unspoken ’ ...you absolute dolt ’ tacked on the end. Crowley wanted to shake him.

Or kiss him.

Maybe both. Probably both.

The angel was unbelievable. He’d been distressingly anxious to the point of tears about sinning or some such, and then... this. Telling him he’d wanted him back in 1941. Quite desperately! Crowley let the words circle around in his head.

He just needed a minute. He needed to think, which was damnably difficult with Aziraphale sitting there watching for a reaction. He didn’t want to make a single move until he was sure it wasn’t the wrong one. He was trying to stay completely still until he had it all straightened out in his head.

He was really trying.

Unfortunately Aziraphale was starting to look like he was reaching the limits of his patience, so Crowley felt obliged to say something.

Better safe than sorry.

“Right.”

Aziraphale’s brow furrowed. “Right?”

“Ng. Good to know. Thought I’d misread that whole situation.”

Aziraphale’s face went completely blank. “Good to-? Oh?”

“‘S fine, water under the bridge. Let bygones be bygones. All of that.”

Aziraphale looked a bit stunned. “Bygones. Of course,” he said, nodding in agreement.

Well. That settled that.

“...Except,” Aziraphale forged ahead, sounding like the words were being pulled out from between gritted teeth, “it’s not really - technically - bygones.”

Was he saying-?

No. Crowley told himself to remember his honeycombed mental faculties; they clearly couldn’t be trusted. He brushed past it.

“But, 1941. I mean... Why didn’t you tell me?”

Aziraphale’s eyes flew wide in surprise before narrowing. “Oh, I don’t think you’re in any position to ask me that.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

"I think it's a bit rich of you to be taking the moral high ground on the subject of keeping things to yourself," said Aziraphale snippily, then turned away.

"Why didn’t you tell me you’d been living in your car?”

“What?” Crowley wondered if it was possible to get emotional whiplash. 

“During that whole business with Gabriel and- Well. You said you wanted your apartment back because you were bored of living in your car. How long had that been going on? Why hadn’t you told me?”

“This has absolutely nothing to do with anything,” Crowley grumbled. 

He knew it sounded petulant. He didn’t care. Why were they talking about this? 

“It has everything to do with everything! On the topic of things we haven’t told each other, it seems entirely appropriate to ask why you - for several years, apparently! - failed to mention you were living in your car. Really, Crowley!”

Aziraphale sounded annoyed bordering on exasperated, but he was certainly looking much more composed. Crowley thought the newfound assurance probably came from the familiar feeling of having him on the back foot.

How exceptionally irritating.

“I don’t see why it matters. T’was fine.” Crowley rolled his shoulders uncomfortably.

“Of course it matters! You know you could have stayed here! You were here most of the time anyway, what possible difference would it have made?”

Crowley’s mouth was set in a hard line. “Leave it,” he muttered tightly.

“No, Crowley. I will not ‘leave it’! I cannot believe you let stubborn pride get in the way of asking for help! It’s perfectly absurd! And more than a little offensive-”

No no, no. He didn’t get to do that. Crowley cut him off, scowling.

“You said, “You go too fast for me.” You said that! And now you’re asking why I didn’t ask to bloody well move in?” 

Aziraphale jerked backward and stared at Crowley with evident surprise. 

“Oh.”

Crowley blew out a frustrated breath and looked away. Any normal day and he'd have jumped up and paced around the room. Actually, any normal day and he probably would’ve stalked out the door. He would have done something - anything - to relieve the frantic nervous energy building inside him. 

Instead, he was pressed into the sofa next to Aziraphale, discussing their cohabitation - or lack thereof - and only just about managing to act nonchalant about changing seating positions.

It was excruciating.

He couldn’t think of anything to say, so he said nothing.

Aziraphale was sitting ramrod straight, still staring at Crowley. “I- I’m sorry you didn’t feel you could ask, I certainly didn’t-” he broke off and tried again, his voice softer. “That was a long time ago. And I didn’t mean it, not really. It was-” His hand fluttered in the air, searching for words. “I was overwhelmed.”

Crowley shrugged and tried to sound casual. “Yeah. Well. Took it to heart.”

“I can see that.” Aziraphale looked deeply affected. There was something that looked suspiciously like sadness in his eyes. 

“I do wish you had told me, Crowley. I would have- I really would have liked you to stay. You would have been welcome. More than welcome.”

Crowley swallowed uncomfortably and sidled a questioning glance at the angel, unwilling to make the moment more painful for himself with the addition of direct eye contact. Aziraphale nudged Crowley’s leg with his foot, and it was so wildly out of character that Crowley jumped at the unexpected contact.

“I think-" Aziraphale sighed. "I think we’ve been rather silly, perhaps.”

Crowley could feel himself trembling with the effort of staying still.

“I think you’ve been keeping things from me all this time and - Muriel told me about your trip to Heaven, by the by - and I think, I could be wrong, but, well, I could well be wrong- I mean it’s entirely possible I’m jumping to-”

Crowley felt like he was waiting for the sword of Damocles to fall on his head. 

“Just say it,” he said wearily.

“Well is it possible you might have thought that by keeping things from me you- you’ve been- I mean to say, you’ve thought you were perhaps… protecting me?”

Their eyes met. Crowley’s mouth was dry as parchment.

Obviously, he wanted to say. Obviously, you precious, oblivious idiot.

“Yeah,” he said instead. Slowly. Warily.

“Can I-?” Aziraphale gestured between them and Crowley had no idea what he was asking but he nodded anyway, because he’d never been able to deny the angel anything, had he?

Well. Almost anything. 

Come with me… to Heaven!

He stiffened at the memory before being hauled back to the present by Aziraphale shuffling closer. He forced Crowley over until they were sitting thigh to thigh.

“Is there anything else you haven’t told me because of this entirely misguided intention of shielding me from harm?”

‘Shut up and die already!’ 

‘Extreme sanctions.’

‘Anyway, Armageddon the sequel, that's a nah.’

“A few things,” he admitted. 

“Serious things? Important things?”

“Yes. Probably.”

“Why?" Aziraphale looked hurt. "Did you really think I was so weak? So incapable?”

Crowley started to shake his head, slowly and then more vigorously.

“Did you think so little of me?”

“No. No .”

“Then why?”

Crowley spread his hands helplessly. “Didn’t want to tell you things that might hurt you,” he said eventually. “Just, yeah. Mn. Didn’t want to hurt you.”

Aziraphale was so close it made his skin prickle. He clenched his jaw. The angel’s head was down and he was looking at Crowley’s yellow socks with a pensive look on his face.

“If you had just talked to me-”

“Isn’t that just-”

They stopped. Aziraphale gestured for Crowley to continue.

“Well it's just... Isn’t that how it goes? You get into difficulty, I help you get out of it… Practically tradition!” He sounded defensive and a little guilty. “I don’t know why we’re talking about this, honestly. It’s- You know I think you’re-” He hissed through his teeth, and started over. “Obviously you’re not weak or incapable. I mean, The Metatron- You know. You must know. Anyway. Look. I just wanted to-”

“...Be the hero,” interrupted Aziraphale, not unkindly.

Crowley bristled.

Aziraphale gave him a gentle push with his shoulder. “You are, you know. Almost always.”

An embarrassed heat worked its way up Crowley’s neck. “Nng,” he said.

“You should know though that I don’t actually need you. I mean, I could have extricated myself from those situations-”

“Of course,” he said dully. Of course he didn’t need him. Presumptuous to think he might. The embarrassed heat became a simmer of shame.

“... What I mean to say is, I could have got myself out of those situations, I think, but I didn’t, because I- Well.” Aziraphale cleared his throat and continued, sounding a bit sheepish. “I rather wanted you to come to my rescue, you see. It always makes me so happy to see you, to- to turn and find you in my corner.” 

Crowley blinked. Searched for words, found none.

“So, ah, that’s the thing, I think. I hope that made sense. Did it?”

Did it? Crowley didn’t know. He thought he understood, but the understanding was being dragged backward by a clawed fear digging its heels into well-worn notches. His mind was completely useless, whiting out into a screaming blankness.

“I don’t need you, Crowley. I mean, I do, but only- What I'm trying to say is that I don't need you to shield me from the truth, or protect me from whatever it is you think I might feel. I don't need you, but I do want you."

There was a silence, and Aziraphale swallowed audibly. "All the time, actually.”

Crowley couldn’t hold a single coherent thought together. A colossal wave of emotion crashed over him and he was tumbling through churning chaos, unable to breathe and with no idea which way was up. His fingertips dug into the leather cushions.

”Not just in 1941, Crowley. All the time.”

Crowley’s eyes darted around the room, frantically looking for something to ground him in the moment. Aziraphale reached out to gently, gently turn his face towards him.

Their eyes locked and Crowley had to swallow down a pleading whine. He searched Aziraphale’s face and found only resolve, and concern, and tenderness, and something that looked like - but couldn’t possibly be - love. He heard a choked whimper escape from his throat. 

He couldn’t bring himself to care. Any embarrassment was burned away by scorching desire.

Aziraphale curved both hands around Crowley’s head, being very careful to avoid hurting him, and brought them down until he was cradling his jaw in his hands, his thumb gently smoothing the skin next to his mouth. 

“All the time, Crowley,” he repeated, then hesitated a moment before continuing. “That is to say…Now.”

Crowley felt as if his muscles had turned to brittle stone. Part of his brain was suddenly afraid that he was still elsewhere, that he was still in the white room, that everything that had come after had been a dream, and that his imagination was crafting this entire unlikely scenario out of longings long-buried. 

Aziraphale kept his eyes on Crowley as he closed the distance between them. He did it slowly, so slowly, giving him every chance to pull away. 

A spark of panic sputtered to life. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real. This was-

Aziraphale’s lips met Crowley’s, soft and tentative, and the spark of panic was immediately snuffed out.

Aziraphale opened his mouth the tiniest amount, moving against his lips, coaxing him to kiss back. He angled his head to deepen the kiss, and Crowley finally, finally, felt his muscles unlock and melt into a moment he’d yearned for but never thought he’d be lucky enough to get, not really, not ever.

And all it had taken was the kind of grievous bodily harm that would traumatise someone for at least a century, and a fight to the death against the Voice of God.

Crowley would do it all over again if that was what it took for him to have this moment.

He had the blurry recollection of Muriel calling him a masochist, and one corner of his mouth curved up as he flicked his tongue against Aziraphale’s, laughing against his mouth when the angel startled. 

This was happening. This was real.

This was bliss.

[sqarletsworldlesswandering]

Also got any trivia for unicorns and phoenixes of the Eclipsed AU? Including Jewel and Kent?

Not tons, but it's time to remedy that >:)

Some general stuff:

Both Phoenixes and Unicorns are Stellpeci by default. However, they also have a significantly higher chance of full sapience than most Stellpeci.

They also can run into this interesting phenomena of very high sentience and/or partial sapience. Think sort of on the order of the dragons in HTTYD - very self aware and very emotive, but still definitively animals rather than a full on person.

When sapient, neither are very talkative, and often opt for shows of physical attention and affection to communicate rather than speech. Unicorns are slightly more inclined to talk, if only because they hate being misinterpreted.

Unicorns are soft spoken, most times. Calm, gentle, and usually considerate.

Phoenixes are a bit louder, though surprisingly not by much. They like to sing. They also tend to be just slightly more energetic.

Oh, also? You don't "own" a Unicorn or Phoenix. It doesn't matter if they aren't sapient, and it doesn't matter whether they're technically your mount in battle, they aren't really possessions. You are theirs as much as they are yours, and they are only yours insofar as they allow themselves to be (and vice versa). It's a very Narnian dynamic, really.

It is pretty common for Unicorns and Phoenixes to bond to a rider or keeper of some sort. The companionship comes naturally. They're as likely to choose you as you them. However, there is no particular rhyme or reason to who may end up with one - it's not like Ophanim where it's formatted and somewhat ritual.

They're also usually born in nebulas as roamers, because Stellpeci. But they gravitate towards Starfolk in a way uncommon to most Stellpeci.

These guys are very emotionally tuned in regardless, and when bonded are extremely perceptive to their companion's emotions.

As for our two specifically...

Jewel:

Jewel is a dear friend of Angel's. They've been together since being Starlets, and trust each other with their lives.

By extension, Jewel and Hasyut are also quite close. However, it took much longer for them to warm up to each other. Both reacted roughly with "Who's this? What do you mean new person?"

Hasyut was also a little... unsure and possibly jealous? Because Jewel was undeniably there first, and she can't refute that.

Jewel was more indifferent, with an air of "as long as you don't start problems, I'm fine with you." He was kinda aloof for a while, but eventually started initiating some interaction. He did so partly because he could tell that Hasyut was a bit insecure about her position around him, and he's not heartless.

Angel doesn't make a habit of riding on Jewel's back - partly because she doesn't exactly need to, and partly because it feels awkward to her. The most notable exceptions were these:

1) when she got injured in the Caravan Incident and Jewel - upon finding her when she was returned home - was her "wheelchair" for a good bit. He took care of transport and in many cases took care of her.

2) At one point when they were... fairly young, Angel was just... having a remarkably bad week, and getting depressive. Jewel was (reasonably) concerned, and just...scooped her up and said "we're going outside." He took her on a lengthy jaunt through the Midnight Forest and part of the Sanctuary, and by the end had concluded that the Silver Peaks were just... kinda too depressing for Angel at the moment. That was the start of Angel keeping plants in her room.

Like most Unicorns, Jewel takes some pride in his appearance. There is, quite frankly, not much better way to a Unicorn's heart than taking good care of them and grooming them thoroughly. (This is part of how Hasyut bonded with him, after he initiated an interaction or two.) He may not have much practical use for clothes, but he's got a carpet...drape...thingy that goes on his back that he can wear, and often does if Angel is riding (one simply Does Not, Under Any Circumstances, put a saddle or bridle on a Unicorn). He also has some additional armor that he's quite font of. Thanks to some minor levitative magic in his horn, he can usually outmaneuver it himself, although Angel and/or Hasyut often help him anyways.

He's got a playful streak - the foal in him never quite went away. You may catch a glimpse of it if you find him running full speed through an empty field, or rolling in the grass (if you catch the latter, do not say anything or he might die of embarrassment. He's got to maintain some dignity, after all).

Dignified is really the best way to encapsulate him, frankly. Dignified, regal, and composed.

Also, as per Octa's reply on the original post, Jewel is a reference to our beloved unicorn in The Last Battle (Narnia)

Khet:

Khet's name is simply the Egyptian word for "fire."

If there was ever something good Ceren did in his life, it was rescuing Khet.

He found her badly tangled up in a dormant Corospinae and rapidly losing essence, which the Corospinae was draining (this is a survival mechanism of their kind - if they must go dormant, they try to snare other Starfolk in their thorns to leech off of them.

Ceren (at that point... young-ish, think late 20's in human analog) took pity on her and untangled her. He'd intended to just... let her go, and do her thing, but then again... she was awfully hurt...

And then she pulled the wide, starry, wobbly eyes on him and he discovered that there is, in fact, one thing in this whole wide world that he is extremely weak to.

So he brought her home with him and nursed her back to health (perhaps not the most competently, but she recovered fully thanks to some input from Kleisme). Once again, the intention was to have her go free once she'd recovered, but...

Well, she did leave, technically. He was very firm and she did understand. She got... what, maybe two areas of the Spire away, moving at a good clip so as not to give herself time to think. And then she heard an amalgam of yelling and sobbing, and turned right back around.

Ceren met her halfway (once again at the urging of Kleisme) and the two practically barreled into each other.

Needless to say, Khet stayed from then on out.

Interestingly, when Ceren found her, Khet wasn't sapient. Pretty high on the self-awareness, but not sapient.

Over the course of taking care of her, though, she not only imprinted on Ceren, but started to match his sapience. About the time he tried to get her to leave, she was... we'll say Toothless levels of sentient.

After returning, and over the next few months, that crossed the gap into fully awakened and sapient.

Khet may also be the singular entity that Ceren most respects in his life. He's not got a good track record of treating his friends well. Khet is the sole and isolated exception. Khet he treats with utmost respect and care - she is nothing short of precious and priceless to him.

This is both part of why she stays around, and why when his other acquaintances leave, things don't go horrifically south (in... all but one case).

You'd think that maybe Kleisme would get jealous or resentful of Khet for being Ceren's favorite, especially given some of the nonsense he has to put up with from Ceren.

And... you'd be the teensiest bit right.

But the resentment is more leveled silently at Ceren, not Khet. Kleisme gets along quite well with Khet, and always has. They're good friends, and Khet has on several occasions kept an eye out for Kleisme.

Initially, Khet tries to carefully and subtly nudge Ceren out of being quite so awful to Kleisme, and it... kinda works? But it also becomes rapidly apparent that it's a habit, and not one that's going to break, so she's gonna be reminding him for the rest of his days. After admittedly too long of this, she slowly changes her tune to helping Kleisme, and (indirectly) encouraging space between the two. Things that put Kleisme at a distance for longer times, things that don't involve as much interaction, etc. - acclimating Ceren to his absence.

This feeds smoothly into Kleisme's eventual departure when it does happen.

Unfortunately, this is also the singular time that someone's departure from Ceren's life does go south, despite her best efforts.

[mxnster-soul]

TMC OC DUMP TIME BABEYYYY

This is technically just them post-reincarnation (reawakening). They have memory loss lol. (They're originally from a TMC AU thing but can be seen as a standalone)

Nicknames: Don/Dawn

[MORE INFO/A LOT OF RAMBLING UNDER CUT. ALSO TW: one ref hardly has clothes on but it's just because there's scars. Sorta 17+ zone]

Heavily inspired off of Stanzi's 'heaven and hell' comedy series (also the case of sona turned to just an OC)

Abaddon (or in this case, reinarnated Abaddon) is an absolute goofball. A bit snarky at times,

Lore stuff:

Pre-'reincarnation', They worked part-time shifts.

Part-time as a guard at heaven's gates, part-time in hell as clean up (usually just purging whenever it's starting to get overcrowded) not meant to be a hazbin reference

While at the gates, Gabriel also worked the same shift as Abaddon.

(TMC AU related. Abaddon had no clue that Gabe was plotting)

The two are just work friends, dynamic being 'The strong silent type that's usually hard for others to read, and the one that's good at talking and somehow just knows what the silent one is saying'./'Don's a gentle giant when it comes to co-workers' (also can't understand jokes/comedy)

Don uses to ALWAYS wear full armour, to the point noone could recall what they look like.

The two were actually friends, buuut as the plans for overruling were finished. Don was seen as 'in the way'.

So when they least suspected it, they were slain with one of their own swords. (Backstabbed through the heart, in a literal sense) I HC that higher rank angels can be killed only with their own weapons

They died confused since they had no time to see who betrayed them.

REINCARNATION (sorta. They kinda just come back from the dead since seraphim probably don't stay dead for eternity)

Don woke up sore as heck in some lake on the mortal realm, still in armor but stuck like they one of those underwater statues which are actually just metal things that rusted/the covered by plants over time.

Their wings decayed a bit cuz it's been thousands of years of being dormant. (And they were able to get the sword out cuz the angelic power that was in it down).

They're a bit more physical (so certain mortal things can now harm them)

Their memory is gone, so they ends up just observing the humans around them and adapting as the years pass by.

Ends up being a very chatty/rowdy dork that likes social media and thinks punk/alt fashion/etc is cool.

TLDR: very serious worker got betrayed, died, and can't remember it when they came back to life so they embrace modernity and probably go to spencers and hottopic/thrifting for clothes.

Also their new fave weapon is a street stopsign

More info:

-7 to 8ft tall (either works)

-Agender/Enby (They/He/She/it) <they really don't care

-Loves overdressing

-Has no clue wtf alternates are but probably annoys them if they happen to meet.

-'ooh, those are alternates? Damn, they look like they've been hit by a truck'

-listens to hyperpop/phonk/loud stuff

-usually guised as a human (bascially just wingless/halo-less cuz it makes it hard to use doors)

-Has no clue that Gabriel is alive

-deadass would not remember a thing, even if reminded.

Current outfit ^^^^

Alt wing color^^^^

OLD/V1 outfit (can be used)

FACE CLOSEUP^^^

Might redo the ref at some point cuz i'm not happy with the post

V1 ref^^^^

HEY, WARNING BELOW INCOMING

[TW: LACK OF CLOTHING REF]

(my anatomy sucks but i tried)

[windcarvedlyre]

For your ask meme: thoughts on kaeya, rosaria -w-?

@tempests-bards-and-birds

(ask meme)

The Angel's share gang minus Venti... I love them...

Warning for discussion of a leaked playable character (technically already namedropped in-game, but still) in Rosaria's section.

Rosaria

What I think of her: god, everything about her is so hilarious on the surface but so tragic when you dig deeper.

She's a skimpily-dressed nun who skives off work, drinks and smokes at any opportunity, and is secretly an assassin handling the nastiest parts of Mondstadt's defense. Imagine being some foreign agent aiming to sabotage Mondstadt, thinking you're hot shit and wondering why the knights have been so gullible and welcoming, only for a sister of the goddamn church to corner you in an alley and end you. That's amazing.

Her past though... jesus christ. I really hope she'll learn to let herself live in the light a little.

Both aspects of her really enhance Mondstadt's atmosphere as a whole for me. They embody the city's (and archon)'s way of handling things: endlessly kind and welcoming and willing to forgive until someone passes a certain threshold of danger towards their people, at which point they reveal they're far, far more dangerous and capable than they look on the surface.

Romantic ships: not into any, though I could see Rosaria/Diluc being a thing. She's totally slept with Kaeya as well. Probably repeatedly.

Non-romantic ships: Rosaria + everyone in Mondstadt loving and appreciating her. Rosaria + that cat she absolutely should have adopted. Her + Kaeya + Venti as the Angel's Share gang driving Diluc up the wall never stops being entertaining, nor does any interaction between her and other members of the church.

Her + Venti specifically is especially amazing. She can't even get his name right. He must be struggling not to break down laughing every other conversation he has with her, I s2g. A reveal would be glorious. More seriously, I think he has a lot of blood on his hands himself and it would be fascinating to see how they would interact and how her views of herself might change if they were more open with each other.

I'm excited to see what relationship Dahlia has with her, too, since looking at his design there's no way he isn't connected to her somehow.

Unpopular opinion: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ no clue

Something I wish would happen: mainly the angel's share crew actually being open and genuine with each other. And I hope she gets involved in whatever plot happens when Dahlia is released.

Kaeya

How I feel about him: more unhealthy obsession by the day. Do I even need to spell out why? He's one of genshin's most interesting characters, imo.

How the hell does he function with stress and paranoia eating away at him day after day? Torn between his past that could come back to haunt him at any point and the city that's actually treated him with kindness? Carrying scars on his face that are a permanent reminder that that kindness may be conditional? Growing up in a world that worships gods he knows are complicit in atrocities without being able to talk about it? Meeting the god of his city, becoming drinking buddies with him and constantly dancing around the elephant in the room, probably wondering when said god will stop pretending everything's fine and throw him off Starsnatch Cliff?

Man.

Romantic ships: Kaeven kaeven kaeven. I will convert more people besides us to see the light of this celestia-forsaken ship. Ships between characters that are supposed to be opposed but could have deep solidarity over shared experiences if they actually talked to each other kill me.

Non-romantic ships: Kaeya x everyone in Mond loving and appreciating him too. I'll take platonic kaeven too, any interaction between them is gold. Do I even need to mention ragbros or does that go without saying? I'd love to see Kaeya + Jean post a Kaeya's backstory reveal too, and I need more Kaeya taking care of Klee in my life.

As I said in the Dain response, I'd love to see those two get closer as well.

Unpopular opinion: genuinely not sure. 'Kaeven is really underrated'? I don't see opposition to that though, it's just rare.

Something I wish would happen: my fingers are crossed so hard that they do what they've set up for him justice, having a dramatic backstory reveal for him in a way that forces him to actively choose a side. Also for him to become a 5* with a better kit but that's never happening.

[turquoisemagpie]

... Still thinking about the intro to episode 1, Before the Beginning. 

Mainly over two things: 

1) How parental Crowley is over the stars.  He’s so proud of them! He compliments them, he’s awestruck by them to the point of not really hearing Aziraphale introduce himself, and when he’s asked about them, be eagerly explains how they’re still young, but will grow up to become something bigger and much more amazing than they already are. He sounds like a very giddy proud father over his children, which makes him all the more heartbroken when he learns that they won’t be allowed to reach their full potential because Heaven plans to make life last only 6000 years. He seems so upset that it’s likely that this moment is what drove him to ask God questions, which would doom him. He didn’t necessarily know he would lose his place as an angel, and thus nothing was holding him back from do so, even though he was discretely warned by Aziraphale not to do so. How much time it took him from there to be damned is unclear: he stuck around long enough to ‘help build’ other nebulas, which shows he still carries on making Space, even though he knows it’s pointless. He carries on! He really cares for the stars, as if they’re humans! It’s no surprise that when he’s introduced to actual humans, he treats them with the same sense of preservation, even if his actions are devious - him being a demon and all. He has a hopeful inkling of potential in all things that are not under Heaven or Hell’s jurisdictions, and he got that from making the stars. (I think this came across to me because it is David Tennant, who played one of the most space-obsessed AND empathetic Doctors of Doctor Who, so there may be bias, but still.) 

2) How Crowley couldn’t make his nebula without Aziraphale’s help.  Whether you think it’s fate or coincidence that Crowley reached out to the first angel he saw and just so happened to spot Aziraphale passing by, it was Aziraphale who held things in place for Crowley to do what he needed to complete his masterpiece. He was the one of the first to witness the nebula’s creation, see how it was done, and see how happy Crowley was to see it all working. Aziraphale is not entirely sure what’s going on to give Crowley the praise he deserves, and deep down he knows that the nebula will be rendered pointless after the Apocalypse, but he still compliments Crowley’s work. And instantly Aziraphale feels empathy for Crowley when he gets upset of how his stars won’t become what he expects of them in time, and he’s very scared for him when he realises Crowley will ask God some questions, ultimately damning him to hell - scared enough to discretely warn him. He didn’t have to, he could have left after he’d done what he needed, but he stuck around, to know what Crowley was doing and what he was planning to do next. He was a part of the first minutes of the stars and the nebulas’ creation. 

These two angels being there to the creation of this corner of Space is pretty sweet. It can be interpreted anyway! Whether someone wants to personify these star systems as Crowley’s (and possibly Aziraphale’s) progenies, or children even (if concepts like war, famine and pollution can be personified on earth, so can cosmic entities like stars!). Or someone wants this nebula to be the physical symbol of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship lasting beyond any of heaven or hell’s expectations, their own place for them to run away together, made before they even knew they could be ‘together’. Whatever anyone thinks, it’s possible! I’m so happy this scene existed at all, but not just because it shows Crowley before he fell, or that it confirms Aziraphale technically knew Crowley before he fell, but because it shows the caring, creative, hopeful side of both Crowley and Aziraphale. 

Crowley is a creator, possibly to a god-like level, and Aziraphale knows this and respects it. That’s why he doesn’t directly stop Crowley’s hellish actions when he’s a demon - he knows Crowley would have something up his sleeve. But what Aziraphale doesn’t know yet is that Crowley can’t do it all on his own, and when they work together, and go beyond the limits of Earth, Heaven and Hell, they can create incredible things. 

(side note: I wonder if Crowley ever went to check up on his first nebula after he fell. How much freedom did he have to go to space after he fell (guessing that Hell is a Dante’s Divine Comedy ‘Hell is underground in the centre of the earth’)? If not, well, he collects space books - does search for space news of human technology taking better and better pictures of his work every time? Does he smile as how well they’re doing? Does he miss them?...)

[skyler10fic]

Lightning Strikes Twice Ch. 2

Summary: Twenty-five years after being adopted by Phil and Melinda, young adult Skye is a Shield agent who wants to know so much more about confidential operations. Through an accident in FitzSimmons' lab, she discovers the answers no one else could: her true origins.

Read on Ao3

In an office high above sunny Los Angeles, at Shield’s West Coast headquarters, an error message popped up on the screen of a high-powered laptop: Access denied.

Skye had questions. The understatement of the century, her mother would have said. Being a Shield agent was her dream job in all ways but one: she needed so much more information than she was given at this clearance level. With both communications hub training as a cybersecurity agent and field experience, she was a versatile team player. But she also didn't rank high enough to know the “why” behind some of her assignments.

Now, spinning in her chair at her desk, she could only wait for her commanding officers to come back from their high-level meeting. A few years ago, she’d tried finding out information by simply hacking her way around the internal files, and she found the hard way that was not allowed, even though she’d helped design the security system herself. Years ago, she was always let off the hook easily as a rookie, having practically grown up at Shield with both of her parents as agents, but at 28, it wasn’t cute anymore and the consequences were real. So to resist poking around in files she wasn’t technically allowed in, she sought out her friends.

Drs. Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz, known around the agency as FitzSimmons, were processing and cataloging the pieces of an alien ship unearthed by construction workers from a building project in the rapidly expanding suburbs, so Skye skipped their offices and went straight to the warehouse.

Sure enough, the couple squabbled in the adjacent lab, visible through a large glass window in their matching lab coats and safety goggles.

Fitz stole a contraption from Jemma’s side of the table. “You can’t know that, just because it has some markings on it!”

“They aren’t just markings. They’re just like the ones Skye…” Jemma stopped as she noticed who was approaching the doorway. “Skye! Anything we can help with?”

“No, actually, I came to see if you needed my help.” Skye narrowed her eyes and read both of their terrible poker faces. “Were you guys talking about me?”

“Nooo,” Jemma denied poorly.

“Oh, no, it’s uh, another Skye, someone else. You don’t know them…” Fitz scratched the back of his head, a sure tell.

“Uh huh,” Skye deadpanned, in a tone only a daughter of Melinda’s could have.

“Just out of curiosity,” Jemma said sweetly, “since you’re here to help… Do you know what these symbols mean?”

Jemma held out a shard of metal to Skye, and Fitz watched her with a fist to his lips, as if holding in his anticipation.

Skye shook her head. “Sorry, it’s not anything I’ve seen. Maybe an indigenous language or something? I could take a few photos and run it through my translation program if you want.”

“Like Google Translate?” Fitz asked, realizing the solution was, as usual, simpler than their overthinking.

Skye let out a surprised laugh. “Google wishes. No. Much, much better. And bigger. It includes all the terrestrial and extraterrestrial languages Shield has encountered.”

“Ah!” Jemma’s victory smile bloomed. “So you think it could be extraterrestrial.” She sent a pointed look at Fitz.

Fitz’s voice rose. “I never denied it was alien, just not…” He stopped and looked to Skye.

Skye hopped up on an empty metal table to signify that she was staying. “Okay, something is definitely going on with you two. Spill.”

Jemma took off her goggles and gloves, and she hopped up on the table next to Skye. She used her most gentle, careful voice as she asked, “Do you still remember your first night here?”

This hadn’t been what Skye was expecting. She put on a forced smile to cover up that the simple question had knocked the wind out of her.

Skye swallowed and tried to answer. “Yeah, a bit. Mainly through stories my dad told me growing up.”

Fitz saw her discomfort and stepped in. “Do you remember that time you threw dirt at me?”

Skye smiled for real this time. “We were like six.”

Jemma loved this story, so she said, as always, “I don’t think I remember this one. What happened?”

Fitz obliged her and began, “I had maths with the older kids, and at recess, one of the older boys told me how babies were made, which I was very unhappy about at the time. And I ran to tell Skye.”

“But,” Skye picked up the story as she swung her feet lightly, “My dad always said that I was given to them from the sky when I asked where I came from, so naturally, I always assumed all babies just sort of appeared out of thin air the way I did.”

Fitz teased, “You were so mad, you actually bent down, picked up two fistfuls of dirt, and tried to put them in my hair.”

“You ran fast back then.” Skye shrugged in surrender. “I had to resort to throwing it.”

“We weren’t allowed recess for the rest of the week,” Fitz concluded.

Jemma pressed in on this segue. “So, is that all you know, just that Agent Coulson and Agent May found you one day? Do you remember anything before that?”

Skye sighed and softened. “It’s crazy, but sometimes as a kid I had nightmares about these huge blue guards with, like, giant weapons. My parents used to have to hold me for hours to get me to go back to sleep. But after a few years, they stopped. Mostly. I think wherever I was before, I just wanted to forget so badly that I did.”

Jemma put an arm around Skye’s shoulders in comfort. “Sorry, I was just … never mind.”

Skye stiffened and shrugged her off to get through the part that made her sick whenever it came up. She’d been teased relentlessly by the other Shield kids at camp. It was supposed to be a safe place for agents’ families to unwind, but instead the rumors grew faster and wilder because anything was possible.

“I’m not an alien,” Skye gritted out. “Every test Shield could run, they put me through at three years old. And even since then, I have to get all my medical stuff done here, just in case something shows up. I’m 28!”

She hopped off the table and pressed her hands to her face in frustration. “These people, Shield … even me sometimes… We get so caught up in ‘Ooo what if it’s aliens’ that we forget sometimes people just suck. My birth parents either couldn’t care for me or didn’t, and I ran away, and clearly it wasn’t somewhere I wanted to go back to. All I know is they said I begged to stay, and that’s why I was adopted through Shield instead of put in foster care. So, yeah, I was a weird kid. A lot of three year olds are. It doesn’t mean I’m…”

Skye’s pacing and emphatic gesturing combined in a disaster Fitz and Jemma were powerless to stop as it happened before their eyes. In her adamancy, Skye’s hand knocked over a rusting metal storage box sitting on the artifact table next to where she’d been pacing. The box, decorated with more of the strange symbols Jemma had shown her earlier, popped open, with the clasp so damaged from being exposed to the elements. Something silver and strange rolled out and toward the edge of the table. Reflexively, Skye grabbed it before it hit the floor. Her reflexes were fast enough to catch it, but not fast enough to let go as her hand and arm hardened, like they were turning to stone.

“HELP!” Skye called out to her friends, who watched in horror.

“Don’t touch it, Fitz!” Jemma warned as she donned her goggles and gloves again. The last thing Skye heard before the low, loud rumbling started was Jemma’s promise they would fix this. Then everything went silent and black.

—-----------

Skye woke up to an earthquake. Not entirely unheard of here in the LA area, but rarely felt in a building as heavily fortified as Shield. Wait, she had been at work. Had she fallen asleep on the job? Why was she in an unfamiliar bed?

The earthquake stopped as she slowly realized. She took in the medical setting with its chill air conditioner draft and sterility and the crowd of people around her. Yes, she was still at Shield but not in any of the parts she expected.

“She’s awake!” Jemma’s voice called out from her hospital bedside.

“What happened?” Skye mumbled out despite her throat feeling like she swallowed a pile of rocks.

“Here, drink.” Melinda opened a bottle of water and handed it to her. “You were out for a few hours.”

Phil appeared in the room. “Oh thank god. How are you feeling, sunshine? You scared us pretty bad there.”

“I remember, we were in your lab by the warehouse…” Skye looked to Jemma and Fitz. “And I broke something you were working on. And then I passed out?”

“Sort of.” Jemma hesitated. “You touched a metal thing from the alien ship and then you were covered in a sort of casing? Like ash? We’re having our biohazards team look into it.”

Skye examined her arms, which were normal aside from having a greyish residue. It reminded her of when she’d dyed her hair black in college and the stains it’d left on her skin.

“How did you get it off?”

Fitz inhaled sharply. “We didn’t. You… you’re an…”

Skye’s gaze landed on him and she sat up. “I’m what?”

Melinda and Phil exchanged a look, and Melinda placed her hand on Skye’s. “Sweetheart, you’re special. You’ve always known that, and we haven’t hidden anything from you that we knew for sure.”

Skye’s pulse quickened, reflected in the lines on the monitor hooked up to nodes on her chest.

“All parents think their kids are special.”

“Not like this,” Melinda said, leaving no room for negotiation, but Skye persisted anyway.

Skye shook her head in denial. “I’m not… that. I’m just a human. I’m not what you think.”

“Skye,” Jemma said gently. “You broke out of the casing on your own. We ran the markings through your translation program. They were Kree. Even your lab work shows tiny changes—tweaks, really—to your genetics that could only work if…”

“Okay.” Skye tried not to panic and the shaking stated again. She took deep breaths as the bed trembled. The tubes and wires connected to her carried the shaking to their machines, like a very small power grid.

“Hey. Look at me. Breathe.” Melinda’s no-nonsense voice guided Skye’s gaze back to her and the shaking stopped. “You’re going to be okay. This isn’t a total shock to us. We suspected it from the first night you were here. And you sometimes drew symbols like this writing, those first few days, before we took you home with us.”

“You knew?”

“No.” Melinda shook her head once. “It was only ever a theory. Everything you know about yourself is 100% true.”

Jemma piped in again, “As far as we know, with the exception of these tweaks, you’re just as human as the rest of us, medically speaking. Your genetic profile just doesn’t match any potential families of origin here on Earth!”

Her cheery tone was meant to be helpful, but the others simply blinked at her.

Phil leaned over his daughter’s hospital bed and pecked a kiss to her forehead. “However you got here, it was a miracle. We love you. That’s what matters. What happens now, with the shaking, well, you’re in the best place in the world to have help figuring that out.”

The realization hit Skye and she gasped. “ME? I’m the earthquake?”

“Yeah,” Phil exhaled with a smile on his lips. “It’s pretty cool.”

“COOL?!” Skye gapped at her dad.

Fitz shrugged. “Think about it. If you get it under control, you could be part of the enhanced division.”

Superheroes. She was the new accident-turned-superhuman in a long line. Last year, a kid got bitten by a radioactive spider on a school trip. Before that, tech geniuses, scientists with dangerous experiments, and even a few aliens had come through the office while on special assignments, but it wasn’t as regular of an occurrence. Now, as more enhanced individuals pinged Shield's radar, Director Fury was seeing the need for not just a team of contractors but a whole division and training program.

At Skye’s silence, Jemma added, “But no pressure. You’ve only just gotten powers, who knows what all they do, and you need to heal first.”

“Heal? I feel fine, just tired.”

Jemma grimaced. “That’ll be the IV. Painkillers. You hit your head and side quite hard when you fainted after you broke free of the casing. We had to take shelter from the explosion and quake and flying ashy casing shrapnel and couldn’t catch you. The good news is, no concussion, though! Just a little worse for wear on the outside is all. You’ll be back to normal in no time, at least appearance-wise.”

Skye picked up on what Jemma wasn’t saying and reached for her phone on the bedside table. She opened up the camera app in selfie mode and was startled. The entire right side of her face was purple and blue.

“Shit.”

Melinda laid her hand on Skye’s again. “The painkillers help for now, but healing takes time. No need to rush into anything other than getting better.”

Fitz glanced around the circle and back down at Skye. “And whatever happens, you’ve got all of us.”

It meant a lot—the world, really— but it didn’t change the fact that when visiting hours were over and her friends and parents went home to sleep, she was just as alone as she always had been in the end. She knew she should be grateful to have so much love, but as she attempted to rest, part of her was still haunted by one last lingering nightmare, the one that she lied about having gone away.

She was hiding in some sort of shed, just a little peeling whitewashed wooden shelter next to a swirling expanse of sand and dirt. Rain pelted in the wall that was just a chainlink fence looking out to the field, but she tried to stay as quiet and still as possible. The monsters were coming for her. She shivered in the cold as the ground shook with their heavy footsteps. Any minute, she’d see a blue face, threatening to send her to one of the colonies where the work was hard and endless.

“Agent Skye!” a nurse called out to her and shook her slightly. “Agent Skye!”

Skye awoke to a kind but unfamiliar face relaxing. “Sorry, did I shake things again?”

“Yes, but it’s alright now.” The nurse waved her hand at staff peeking in the doorway. “Can you tell me what you were dreaming about, if anything?”

Skye sat up as she answered. “It’s one I had since I was a kid. Hiding from someone coming to take me away. Don’t have to be a shrink to figure that one out.”

The nurse had clearly read her chart because she responded without missing a beat. “No, not at all. Perhaps some antianxiety in the IV, just to help you sleep without fear?”

Skye could tell despite the nurse’s genuine concern that the medicine was not just for her own the nightmares but also for the ease of the nightshift staff. As a Shield foundling of unknown origin, she’d grown used to people being perplexed by her, astonished by her, and even afraid of her, but this was the first time she realized that fear was entirely valid. The nurse even secured Skye’s IV tape where it had shaken loose and rearranged some of the equipment before leaving, making it more stable in case she quaked it again.

The medicine did the trick and soon enough, she was back to sleep, despite her confusion and worries. This time, she slept dreamlessly.

The next day, she went home with instructions about bruise care and several medications, including an antianxiety daily pill and referral to a Shield therapist who dealt specifically with newly enhanced people. There was no way around it: her recovery process was going to hurt, but here at the end of her rope mentally and physically, she finally allowed herself to get the help she had needed for a lot longer than she had had superpowers.

After her body healed, she trained hard for months, going from emotionally shaken inside and sending little tremors into the world around her to steady inside and in control of her growing powers. Every day, they grew stronger as she did, until she could control the waves on the ocean from the shore and cause a landslide of the rocks on the hill from a high-rise a mile away. She poured all of her energy and anger and fear and unanswered questions into training until she was certified as an enhanced field agent.

[kaesaaurelia]

human things and demon things

For @whumptober day 2, using the prompts "delirium," "They don't care about you," and the lyric prompt, "I'll call out your name, but you won’t call back."

Continued from Day 1, wherein Crowley definitely did not move into the bookshop, took a nap on the couch afterwards, and when he woke up his lungs hurt and he passed out.

Muriel was aware that they weren't technically supposed to be helping Crowley, because he was a demon, and therefore The Adversary. But he had been so nice to them and brought in all those lovely things earlier -- plants, he'd called them, and something called a statue. Muriel had been very curious about the statue until Crowley told them not to be, at which point they had of course stopped wondering about it.

(They hadn't, really. They had tried very hard! But it was difficult to stop wondering about things. They felt a bit bad about that.)

Anyway, apparently what he was doing was not Sleep, which had looked very peaceful, and that made a lot of sense, actually, because what he was doing now was extremely not peaceful. "Fuck off," he muttered as Muriel engaged a minor miracle allowing them to scoop up the twitching demon from the floor. "'Mnot going."

"Not going where?" they asked, wondering who they ought to bring him to.

"Heaven. I'm not going, I'm not gonna be an angel again, I won't go," said Crowley.

"I don't think I have the authority to do that," said Muriel, but then Crowley twitched and tried to wriggle free, and they had to work to keep hold of him. "This would really be much easier, actually, if you didn't do that?" they said hopefully, but Crowley did not seem to care about that. Which did follow; he was a demon, and so of course he would be working to thwart everything Muriel did. But also, Muriel was trying to help him, specifically.

Now Crowley was muttering something about Aziraphale. Muriel couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but he sounded like he was talking to Aziraphale. And Aziraphale definitely wasn't here.

Crowley had said that Sleep generally involved not being aware of exactly what was going on, of maybe even having… strange and imaginative ideas, and experiencing things that weren't happening. Muriel thought it all sounded very unsettling, but that was demons for you, probably. Perhaps this new, not-good thing Crowley was doing was not Sleep, but Sleep-like, in that he was experiencing things that weren't happening?

They decided that perhaps someone who had a greater understanding of Earth Things would be able to help, because if this un-Sleep he was doing was a different thing they did on Earth, maybe a human would recognize it, and would know how to make him stop doing it. So they went to the nearest human they could think of, the one that had all those flat black things that made music if you knew how to coax it out of them.

When Maggie saw them come in through the door, she looked up cheerfully and then her face went extremely not cheerful very fast. Muriel felt like probably they should have not let that happen, but they weren't sure how. "What's happened to him?"

"I don't know," said Muriel, "but it's not Sleep, he said so before he fell."

"He fell?" Maggie asked. "Come on, put him down… somewhere, how are you even carrying him?"

Oh. Was that unusual? "I, um. As a human police officer --"

"Sweetheart, we all know you're an angel," said Maggie.

"…Oh," said Muriel.

"Sorry. It was a bit obvious you weren't human, though. Most humans don't introduce themselves as humans?"

"Oh," Muriel said again, a bit perplexed by this. Why wouldn't they? Humans were so odd. "Well. Um. As, a, not-human, non-police-officer… it's a miracle?"

"Fuck miracles," muttered Crowley.

"Well, at least he's still himself," said Maggie. "Crowley, can you hear me?"

"Nh. 'Ziraphale let me go," he demanded.

"I think he thinks I'm Aziraphale," said Muriel.

"Oh no. That's very awkward. Here, put him on the countertop," she said, moving some things over so that he would fit. "I guess he must still be breathing. I don't really know a lot about… demon things."

"Neither do I!" said Muriel, putting Crowley down. "There, I've put you down. Also I'm not Aziraphale," they told Crowley.

His eyes opened very slowly. "Nnh. 'Course not. He fucked off, didn't he?" he said, miserably.

"Look, are you all right? Can you sit up?" Maggie asked.

Crowley seemed to be making the attempt, but after a moment he winced and said, "No. Alsso. I'm sso dizzy. 'Ss… all the tiny lung knives, I think."

Muriel supposed that must be a human thing; that seemed like the sort of thing humans would go for, being a. a material object; b. relating to bodily organs; c. and needlessly unpleasant. But then Maggie mouthed Tiny lung knives? and she looked very confused, so maybe it wasn't, actually.

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