#technically it’s could be calico jack

[ofmdincorrect]

Ed: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Ed: Stede is still mad about it, but me and Izzy were drunk and thought it was funny.

[ladyluscinia]

Hi there! I just read your meta about how Izzy knows the real Edward and not just Blackbeard, and that got me thinking… why does Ed tell Stede he doesn’t have any friends? I’d initially chalked this up to Izzy only wanting to be friends with Blackbeard, but if Izzy knows and is loyal to the real Ed, why doesn’t Ed consider him a friend?

Hi! You just stumbled on one of my favorite things to talk about that now I get to add S2 context to, so thank you!

Ok... Edward & his total denial of friendship. There's the big reason - which is completely divorced from the reality of any of his relationships - and then there's the smaller, related reason that I'm not even sure Edward is fully aware of.

Reason #1 (the big one) why Edward says he doesn't have any friends is because he's having a depressive breakdown in a bathtub when he says it.

It all comes back to the fact Edward hates himself, which was fairly clear in S1 and now made explicit in S2. Specifically in 2x03. Which, in a season full of excellently timed flashbacks and echoed scenes from S1, still contains the single example that made me leap from my seat in pure vindication.

When Edward tackles his conjured Hornigold to kill him, before he realizes he's in the gravy basket, we great a great line...

"It all boils down to this. You're afraid you're unlovable."

...followed by a set a flashbacks that feel chosen specifically for me 😌

Edward killing his dad, with the voiceover "I'm not a good person Stede..." cut to Izzy's destroyed laugh right before Edward left the room in 2x02, and then cut back to the bathtub from 1x06 to finish "...That's why I don't have any friends." Stede affirms he is Edward's friend and then it ends on the crew's mutiny from 2x02 and the absolute darkest point of Edward's depressive spirals so far.

That is literally an explicit connection I couldn't have dreamed of in the S1 hiatus.

Because, like... Edward's whole thing is that he's been on the edge of drowning under this lifelong struggle against depression since we met him. He does fundamentally believe in his darkest moments that he is monstrous and poisonous and no one could ever love him, but it's not a logical belief. He's not making an assessment of his relationships as he sees them, he's voicing his self-loathing and depression.

And the parallel between "I don't have any friends" and "I'm unlovable" is soooo crunchy because we know for a fact the second statement is just depression talking. Not even just Stede! Edward spends the first two episodes actively resisting evidence to the contrary in his spiral because it hurts too much - Izzy blatantly confessing his love didn't break through, it just got him shot for trying.

To go back to the bathtub in 1x06, Stede's affirmation there wasn't any more effective than Izzy's confession in S2. It gets Edward to get up out of the bathtub and pull himself back together, but the very next episode opens with Edward getting antsy and trying to leave before Stede can reject him. In 1x08 he's still half-waiting for Stede to notice there's something wrong with him.

Edward always has a little dark voice in the back of his mind saying that Calico Jack isn't his friend, and Izzy isn't his friend, and Stede isn't his friend... but it's Edward's voice. One he'll have to fight against forever, one that will sound really persuasive in his darkest moments (like when he's in a bathtub admitting its source out loud for the first time in his life), but also one that is lying.

So... that's the big reason.

Now, Reason #2 is a bit more nuanced - Edward is really repressed.

This is pretty much entirely the fault of Reason #1, but it is technically a different thing. Because Edward hates himself and has a flawed perspective of all his relationships, he instinctively holds himself back from them to some degree.

This kinda gets into the whole Izzy vs Stede thing, because Edward has a very small collection of interests and desires that he shoved into a small box as things he didn't deserve well before becoming a pirate (due to both mommy and daddy trauma), and then he never brought those things up with anyone close to him. Until he met Stede, who was basically the walking embodiment of several of those interests/desires and a person who Edward uniquely did not have a script or baseline for interacting with, so he ended up doing the reverse and diving into exploring all that as the core of this one singular relationship.

Which has left him very unbalanced.

Like, he's not wholly engaging in the relationship due to fear of rejection either way. There's nothing intrinsically healthier about letting Izzy know all his ugliest bits or Stede know all his most hidden emotional vulnerabilities. And the fear of rejection in both cases is based in his depression / conviction he's unlovable, not evidence that Izzy would react poorly or whatever.

But if he was capable of evaluating his relationships objectively, he might have felt a little like even Izzy who knew him so well wasn't as close of friend as he truly desired, simply because he puts away that box of things around him. Only... Izzy doesn't make him do that. That box was probably put away before Izzy even met him.

And like... Edward can feel his feelings about Izzy not knowing the super important emotional things he wants him to know, but it's still on Edward for not even trying to tell him.

(This got longer than I meant it to, lol. Anyway here's my hiatus post where I'm nice to Calico Jack on this topic too.)

[satanstruemistress]

@technomaestro You have no idea what you’ve just unleashed 😂😂😂

Between my roommate and I, we have 6 of the little bastards! (Affectionate)

Here they all are:

That particular one is mine. Her name is Pumpkin Leigh, she’s the only girl, and she was found outside my mom’s old house. She adopted me. She’s obsessed with me. All the boys look at her like she’s the reigning queen. (She is). She has zero interest in returning to her stray ways. She takes one look at the outdoors and goes “Ew, no thanks”. Addicted to cat nip. Plays fetch. Like a weirdo.

(Punkin on a Punkin)

This confused looking fellow is Oliver George. He’s my roommate’s cat. I love him. He hates humans in general? He has a crumply ear because he had a boo-boo of some sort. It got fixed, and it gives him character. He likes Pumpkin and my sister. He tolerates everyone else. If he escapes the house it’s at least an hour getting him back in, and it often ends with someone (me) getting shredded. He looks at me and says “You’ll never take me alive!” And proceeds to fight with all his ten-pound might. And then is super sweet when I finally return him to the house.

2-for-1 special, this is Jack Daniel (black) and Potter Maxwell (orange) they’re brothers from the same litter. Mom was a short haired calico and Dad was a long haired black cat. Jack got mom’s coat and dad’s color, Potter got mom’s color and dad’s coat. They’ve never been apart a day in their lives. Potter has the worst RBF I’ve ever seen on a cat, and Jack will only let you love on him while you’re trying to wash your hands. Any time Ollie escapes, Jack has a meltdown when he comes back in, because apparently he doesn’t recognize him.

This is Sylvester James and I think he needs 3 pictures to really hit home how fuckin’ insane his transformation was. We found him outside a friend’s house, and we thought he was just a normal sized escapee, bc he looked healthy enough, but then he got fed regularly and a safe place and he turned into that enormous, majestic, long-haired beast. He’s so soft. It’s like petting a cloud. He also talks a lot for no reason. Also an occasional prison breaker. If Ollie refuses to go quietly, Sylvester is the opposite. If he escapes you can just pick him up and you can hear his little pea brain go “Rats! *finger snapping noise* Foiled again!”

This fucking chaos gremlin is the baby, Floki Alexander. My roommate’s ex bf left him with us when he got dumped until he could get stable. He’s so sweet. He’s fucking insane. He’s almost three, and still has insane kitten energy. Loves kisses and cuddles and unattended glassware. If there’s a cup left sitting, Floki will knock it off and break it. Sits by the door, contemplates escaping. Ultimately does not.

Bonus:

This is Daisy Mae, she’s technically my brother’s dog but she’s really not friendly so he couldn’t keep her where he was living, so I took her and I’m working on socializing her better. He will have to pry her out of my cold, dead hands if he ever wants her back.

She loves her kitties so much. She gets kisses and snuggles and ear cleanings from them.

She’s also fucking rotund because the only way my ex-roommate could get her to warm up to him was by human food. She’s on a diet now, and we go for walks.

I was going to add more pictures to really solidify how cute they all are, but alas there’s a 10 picture limit on mobile apparently.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Favorite Head cannons of the OFMD community as of S1

-Izzy and Ed knew each other during the Hornigold era, and Izzy chose Ed as his captain after the mutiny.

-Roach had very little to no experience as a ships surgeon before joining the Revenge, he's just passionate and a fast learner, and we love him for it.

-Calico Jack wanted to fuck Izzy. If it was mutual is up for debate.

-Ed sleeps on Stede's couch for most of S1.

-Ed fucking loves the Swede. Ed sees this anxious guy and is just so fucking nice? Like, yeah, bare minimum. But he doesn't put him down once. Immediately getting the vibe of 'oh, this is the ships nice guy, i gotta fit in'.

-Lucius was running away from something when he happened upon Stede and the ship. Be it a crazy life, a marriage, a criminal past. Who knows? But he found safety in an idiotic man willing to hire a scribe for a ship.

-Izzy also has a bounty on his head for abandoning the English, but it's usually Ed's bounty that will cause problems. Since, like everything else in life, Izzy is easily ignored, and would be found with Edward either way.

-Frenchie and Wee John knew each other before joining the Revenge. How much is up for debate.

-Anne and Mary totally abandoned Jack's ass on an island, taking over his ship, and getting away scott-free. As Jack was their jackass laze about husband that forced the two to run the ship. But I do believe they all once loved each other, just didn't communicate (as with the rest of the established couples in the show)

-Izzy is VERY into whatever Ed is willing to give him. Ed just wants a nap and a cuddle.

-Oluwande is supernaturally earnest and willing to put up with almost everyone's shit. Especially Jim. Which they love him so much for. Oluwande will probably see some type of leadership role in the next seasons.

-Stede/Ed are fucking like rabbits. They are the most PTA couple and while Lucius/Pete are at least conscious of when they're in public Ed/Stede are not. And honestly, good for them.

-Izzy has tummy issues. Either from anxiety, age, diet, stress, or health issues.

-Buttons has a history as a pirate, yet no one can verify them. His crews are always gone, dead or missing...no one sees this as the red flag it should be (my vote is always that he's a cryptid, and changes the reality of the ships he's on).

-Buttons COULD be the best first mate around, hell, he probably was once...But things changed for him as he aged and seen all his crew die off, that and he lives for the drama.

-(personal) Izzy was a rope monkey growing up, his size means (if izzy was a pirate before the age of 20) he would have been thrown up there. I also think Ed was a higher-ranking rope monkey or was one in the past. Ed would fucking love the risk, of climbing up high and getting wind in his hair(My only proof is how easily he balances on the railing in EP 4, cause it was the first thing that made me really go 'WOOF'. Competence is hot, babes). (I also totally see young Ed jumping down from heights, fucking up his knee)

-Oh, that Ed having knee problems is TECHNICALLY a head cannon, but at this point...it's canon.

-Most problems could be solved with communication, its a shame each member of the crew speaks in their own language of bullshit, trauma, and stubbornness.

-Ed never paints his own nails. Honestly, mood my man.

-Lucius/Pete get married long before Stede/Ed. Personally, I vibe with this because Stede probably holds a lot of beliefs about what weddings mean for a relationship (stagnation, settling down, and fulfilling societal duties). While Stede is a romantic and would love to marry Ed, I think he'd need to see Lucius and Pete make it work, especially with their open relationship.

-Their historical deaths will be real, but be fuckeries. Honestly. I know S2 is a gap season, but FUCK S3 could be so COOL if they go this route. (Blackbeard's ship sailing into Ocracoke for a wedding and party, being unable to escape and having to fight it out being what happened. Stede getting hung a few weeks later)

-Ed can play the piano/harpsicord', Stede can not.

-'Ed' vs 'Edward' has VERY specific meanings depending on who and why they are saying it.

-Izzy's loyalty was somewhat bought from Ed saving his life, either metaphorically (giving Izzy a happier life as a pirate) or literally (saved from being hung/saving him in a fight). In Izzy's eyes his only purpose is to protect Edward.

-Stede WILL go back to the fancy dress and accessories. The Ep 10 look was a rebirth, a new slate to build a happier version of himself. As much as I love 'tuff' muscled Stede, that's not who he is. He loves finery and being soft.

-The crew is a family, and if EP 9 ended how Ed wanted it to they could have been happy together yes. But they'd be alone. No family and friends to support them.

AND as always:

-Lucius is still alive.

[ladykatibeth]

One thing I keep turning in my head over and over again is wether the navy thing technically counts as a betrayal? I’ve heard it phrased that way a lot, but I’m not so sure.

Because a betrayal is a violation of trust, usually in regards to a relationship.

To start it’s not a betrayal of Stede+Crew because Izzy doesn’t give them any reason to trust him. He’s mean. Izzy tries to murder Stede in a duel. There can’t be a betrayal if there’s no relationship in the first place.

This leaves a possible betrayal of Ed, and here’s where I start to get iffy…

See if Izzy went behind Ed’s back with the Navy while they were still together and acting as first mate and captain it would be pretty cut and dry, it would be betrayal of trust as friends and coworkers.

But in episode 6 Ed let’s Izzy be banished, effectively severing the relationship. Now, one could say It was just a banishment from the place but not a severance over all, but when he threatens everyone on the dinghy he straight up tells Ed he’s going to do something about it.

If you tell someone you’re going to do something and then do it, it’s not a betrayal of trust, why would they trust you not to do the thing you told them you were going to do?

So the relationships been severed, and no duplicity has occurred. (Except what’s been outsourced to Calico Jack). He said I’ll make you rue this day and he followed through. A betrayal of trust requires a certain degree of lying about your intentions, which doesn’t really occur here.

Where I get caught up is that the show kind of leaves room for it to be treated as one? I mean Ed and Izzy go back to having a relationship immediately after Stede leaves so it might hit as a sort of retroactive betrayal? But I don’t know.

(This isn’t me saying I don’t think the Navy things was a bad thing to just that I don’t think it falls under the betrayal category.)

[opalescentorchidaceae]

Fic Writer Tag Game

tagged by @autisticwriterblog! (technically it was my tv blog that was tagged, hopefully it's cool that I'm answering it here instead)

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

17, plus one that I published anonymously. Apparently those don't count towards the total even though they still show up on the stats page.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

120,644. That's honestly a lot more than I thought it would be!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well, the fandoms listed on my stats page are:

Guardians of the Galaxy (Comics)

Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)

Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy (Video Game)

Nova (Comics)

Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Right now I'm not really interested in writing for any of those, although I have been thinking about replaying the GOTG game and that might get me back into writing for it. I've also been drafting a few fics for Skyrim, so I might be able to add that soon.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

#1: The Rise and Fall of Rocket Raccoon and the Dumbass from Earth, my first fic and also by far my longest.

#2 and #3: I'd Rather Sleep Alone and I'd Rather Sleep on the Floor, respectively, a two-part series (that was supposed to be a trilogy oops).

#4: Night Moves, my first attempt at writing smut. I've been too afraid to go back and read it since I first put it up lol.

#5: An Improper Little Seductress, my most recent fic and the only OFMD fic in the top five.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes. I always try to find something more to say than just "thanks," but if I can't then I'll usually end up forgetting about it and never replying. I do love getting comments though, so I'm trying to be better about that.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I generally don't do angsty endings, but the one exception to that is Sometimes Love Is Not Enough, the anonymous fic I mentioned earlier.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I love a disgustingly saccharine ending so it's hard to choose, but I guess I'd go with The Rise and Fall of Rocket Raccoon and the Dumbass from Earth.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No; I was expecting it on Sometimes Love Is Not Enough, which is why I put it up anonymously, but all the comments on it have been positive.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I tried it once and it wasn't really for me. I will still occasionally write sex scenes, but they always end up being more comedic than erotic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I guess technically I have a few GOTG (movies) / GOTG (2021 video game) crossovers, in that I'm just kind of picking and choosing bits of setting and characterization from each and mashing them together, but I've never done a proper crossover between two completely different canons.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've never actually checked any other sites to see, but I really doubt it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I would be totally open to it if anyone wanted to.

13: Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, and I don't think I ever could. I'm both an incredibly slow writer and a total control freak so I would be such a nightmare to work with lol.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That's tough; my first ship was roquill (Rocket Raccoon/Peter Quill, from GOTG), the ship I've felt the most passionate about was cjizzy (Calico Jack/Izzy Hands, from OFMD), and I don't really have a ship I'm that into at the moment.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't have any; once I've committed to writing a fic I will drag myself kicking and screaming until I'm done with it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue for sure. I like to think I do a good job portraying what characters would say and how they would say it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes are really tough for me; if I'm not careful I tend to fall into just writing "character A did x, then y. Character B did z" over and over again, which isn't very interesting. I also struggle with describing the setting of a scene, so I guess it's just narration in general that I'm not great at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have one single word in Spanish in Billy, and that took all my vague memories of high school Spanish, a dictionary, an online translator, and a few language-learner forum posts to make sure it was the right word in that context. And I'm absolutely not going to go to all that effort for anything longer than one word lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Guardians of the Galaxy (the movies, I didn't get into the comics until later).

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Probably REAL GHOST ENCOUNTER (NOT CLICKBAIT). Writing is usually torture for me, like I'm taking a pickaxe to my skull to mine the words out of my brain one by one, but this one just flowed right out of me. I was so inspired that I wrote the whole thing over the span of one evening, and I think that ease comes across in the final product.

[midorikittykun]

Not so explicitly thinking about that but now I am. 😭 Also, I think it's so interesting how Izzy as a mentor/father figure has come up via David Jenkins and accordingly fan analysis. Ed's dad was obviously his original attachment disturbance/trauma and Hornigold I think is undisputably an actual father figure (where Ed gained even MORE trauma, learned what being a pirate and captain was, where he eventually apparently fratboy-style trauma-bonded with crewmates like Calico Jack) but I really don't see Izzy as a "father figure" based on what we see of their relationship. I think the TRANSFERENCE is there but very different dynamics from the first two.

The idea of transference through a trauma-lens is what really makes sense of the mechanics of Ed & Izzy's relationship, in my opinion. Ed technically holds more power in the relationship as the boss, and Ed & Izzy were friends and maybe even equals at points in their past. But Izzy's demeanor and treatment of Ed really REMINDS Ed of his father/Hornigold and brings up those old feelings (if even subconsciously) and that's what's REALLY triggering for him. We see this in Stede with the Badmintons' verbal/emotional abuse paralleling his father's as well. And I don't see people saying the Badmintons were "father figures" to Stede.

Transference is also why when Ed really starts letting loose on Izzy with violence, in his Kraken Era, I think Ed is partially (A) giving Izzy what he asked for and it backfires on Izzy spectacularly AND (B) Izzy has triggered Ed badly enough (in the wake of a break-up that has already predisposed Ed to be heartbroken and vulnerable and struggling with his identity more than ever and absolutely REELING emotionally) that he's become a "surrogate" father of sorts, through transference, that he finally has the power to fight back against. Izzy has opened the door for all that anger at his father and Hornigold (and himself) to really come out, and I think that projection comes on top of the very real anger Ed feels toward Izzy for his tangible and emotional betrayals. But, in reality, given their ACTUAL power dynamic, Ed is really just beating up on Izzy, who doesn't fight back. To Ed, in pure despair and self-hatred and survival mode and emotional dysregulation, feeling like he has zero access to (doesn't even feel like he DESERVES) emotional safety and comfort, however, I think he really may be seeing it as protecting himself from Izzy's original threats because he just feels SO emotionally unsafe and puts up that wall of numbness, and violence, and indifference to hide it. (Then ultimately gives up and starts goading the crew to put him out of his misery.) BUT Izzy there becomes a sort of placeholder for abusive father figures from Ed's past because Izzy's treatment of him was awful and made Ed FEEL similarly, not because Ed actually sees him as a father. Hence, "I loved you the best I could," given those circumstances.

I don't really see Izzy as Ed's "mentor" figure either. I think, thematically for the show, he kind of falls into that archetype because it's one of the closest tropes available but it doesn't capture the full nuance of the complexity of their relationship at all. Like I've said before (agreeing wholeheartedly with another one of @asneakyfox's posts on the matter), I truly TRULY believe Stede saying "Blackbeard said you taught him everything he knows" is 100% Stede kissing ass to get pirate skill lessons and I don't think Ed ever told him anything like that at all. Maybe that he's learned some things from Izzy, sure, but I'm positive nothing about teaching him "everything he knows" ever fell out of Ed's mouth. As others have pointed out too (definitely saw @stedebonnetsbignaturals's comment in the tags), Izzy says he was "honored to work for the great Blackbeard" indicating the Ed was already at his peak before Izzy became his first mate, so..."mentor"...? No.

Izzy is ultimately the second half of Blackbeard (keeping Ed tethered to the role beyond when he grew so tired of it) and, while giving Ed permission to "just be Ed" may come off as father or mentor-like without full context, it doesn't ring true to actually describe his role in their dynamic. Izzy was Ed's friend, first mate, second half of the Blackbeard role/persona, and per Ed's words, a part of his "family." They were also VERY unhealthily/toxicly enmeshed and co-dependent, a dynamic that doesn't begin to resolve itself until they fully split apart emotionally post-gravy basket and develop more as individuals. Izzy finally sets Ed free to be himself after repeatedly dragging him down into a role he'd grown to really despise.

So we see Izzy very purposefully paralleled to Ed's dad and Hornigold (and even Pop-pop I guess??) but he's overall really a very unique figure in Ed's life compared to all the others.

you ever think about how the felix story was thrown into 2x03 just to make it clear that harming people ed cares about in front of him while ed has to watch is something all three of ed's shitty father figures have done?

have you ever tried rewatching 1x06 - not just the flashbacks to ed's childhood but also specifically the duel scene right afterward, where izzy is about to kill stede and ed just sort of freezes up strangely and stands there looking away kind of stimming - with that in mind?

[fleshadept]

smth I find interesting is their differences in like the Definition of murder. like stede didn't directly kill either of the badmintons, but he still thinks of himself as a vicious murderer. but Ed only directly killed ONE person, but indirectly killed soo many ppl, like when Jack says he lit the boat on fire, and he says technically the fire killed those people. my theory is stede hates himself, and has the whole time, so unconsciously he's grasping onto this as a reason for it, and Ed is trying to never think about those people he killed so he doesn't hate himself any more than he has to.... idk I just think its an interesting character detail :-]

the interesting thing to me is that stede did not feel bad At All for "killing" nigel. like he straight up told the elder guy that. the dude asked if he felt bad for killing him and he said Not really, he sucked even as a kid! and figured out that really the reason he felt bad was because he felt inadequate and nigel reminded him he'd abandoned his family (nigel reminding him of this is also how we, the audience, are introduced to the idea that stede left them for piracy) which made him feel guilty about THAT, so what you said about him displacing his self-hatred onto this is pretty accurate.

so he didn't really feel bad about being a murderer. it's why he could leave mind-nigel behind on the shore at the end of that episode. stede isn't as averse to murder as he is to violence, per se. we see in his flashbacks that violence has been associated with masculinity for his whole life, the specific kind of masculinity he's been excluded from, that violence turned on him as a result of his exclusion. also it seems like he just thinks it's gross lol

when chauncey died, it had the same effect: chauncey forced him to remember that he abandoned his family, he didn't really give a shit about chauncey dying, but he remembered what he'd done "to" his family (assuming they were worse off without him) and felt like he needed to resolve that. it had already been on the forefront of his anxieties from learning he had been declared dead, so chauncey just pushed him over the edge, so to speak.

it's telling that when he says "at some point, a man's gotta face the music for the things he's done and the people he's hurt" we get a shot of nigel dying at "the things he's done," a relatively neutral statement, and a shot of his family at "and the people he's hurt," because from his perspective, he really only cares that he (possibly) hurt mary and the kids.

there are some inconsistencies that i hope they explore later, like stede burning that ship of aristocrats alive but looking taken aback when calico jack said ed burned a ship of people alive (with the crew still trapped inside? perhaps that was the difference).

ed's philosophy is harder to parse because we haven't spent as much time with him. he clearly sees violence as monstrous. the only person he's ever killed was his dad, which he did as a last resort to keep his mom safe after his dad was violent, and we don't know for how long that went on. after that he "always outsourced the big job," which seems like a pretty straightforward way to rationalize necessary violence. he didn't skin that guy, fang did. same end, different means.

the fact that he constructed the myth of the kraken around killing his dad is VERY interesting. not only does he outsource actual killing to his crew or other external forces, he took his one true murder and turned it into a horror story he uses to scare people, saying it's the only thing that scared him. it's hard to tell if he genuinely believed in the kraken until stede's fuckery triggered his real memory or if he knew the whole time. either way, he clearly was traumatized by killing his dad and that led him to his current philosophy, whatever the extent of that is.

looking forward to season two, it seems like they're foreshadowing ed dropping this philosophy entirely by not just going back to being blackbeard but declaring himself the kraken, the part of himself he invented to rationalize his one and only murder. which, of course, implies he'll be doing more murdering. we'll see!

[redux-iterum]

oh and one more about names. are any name prefixes or suffixes gendered, either somewhat or entirely? I’m thinking -flower would be mainly for mollies?

Inb4 someone decides to cancel me over this question, given how much trouble it gave me on the old blog. If I don't survive this, tell my wife "hello".

The only prefixes that are technically "gendered" are the tortoiseshell and calico ones, due to those colors only appearing on biologically female cats. A transgender tom or jack (enby) may be a tortoiseshell, but largely you'll only find them on a molly. Tortoiseshell names, as a side note, can sometimes refer to a more solid color, like Morning- being for golden cats as well as paler, mostly ginger/gold tortoiseshells, so you can get some of those names on biologically male cats too.

As for the suffixes: -flower has, historically, only shown up with mollies, with very, very rare exceptions, because a -flower cat is expected to want to bear their own litter and should at least have the equipment to be able to, whether or not they're fertile. There's also the factor that, for the sake of the queens' nerves and the kits' protection, toms are not allowed in the nursery unless they're the father of a litter or a seer, and even then they get a brief visit and then leave quickly. There's been bad experiences in the past that led to this restriction, which I'm sure you can figure out for yourself if you know how real cats behave.

While not restricted solely to toms, -path could kind of be considered the male version of -flower? It also refers to raising cats, just with those cats being apprentices, which a tom can easily interact with and have no trouble. You tend to see it more on toms than mollies for that reason.

Otherwise, all suffixes are neutral! Any cat can be a -claw or a -stone or a -dusk. There's no restrictions beyond that which I've stated here.

[ihavenoideahowtodream]

If these are Ed's good friends whom he has sailed and worked with before. (Historically Anne Bonny is technically Calico Jack's wife cause he bought her from her husband, fucked up I know)

Then like. Ed makes a lot more sense. Like

Stede: why are you like this

Ed: these are my high school/college buddies

Stede: oh

Ed: I could be *worse*

Stede: yes, I see that

okay but can we talk about how anne and mary would have been fully on board for ed making jim and archie fight to the death bc they would have found it hot. disaster lesbians playing evil games with their gay bestie, we could have had it all

[midnight-raven]

Hi. Your villain futuristic four AU sounds very interesting and I have qoustion for it. How would all the kids reacts if they learned that their family wasn't really their family, and their enemy's were there family? Sorry if I phrased that badly.

Sorry it took me awhile to answer this & and for the long response.

Oh boy. No doubt that the four would respond with aggression, they wouldn't believe their enemies at first.

Actually! Me and @winterxisxcomingxgx were coming up with scenarios regarding this exact situation. We came up with a story that UltraViolet plotted to kidnap Dash & Jack-Jack to bring Mr. Incredible out of hiding.

Mr. Incredible/Bob would be in denial that UltraViolet is really his daughter, after years of feeling responsible for her disappearance/death, yet somewhere deep inside, he knows the truth. During their fight, Mr. Incredible doesn't use his full strength against her, only wanting to save his kids not harm UltraViolet.

When Elastigirl/Helen figures out the truth, she would try a different route... by kidnapping the young girl. Or restraining her, in a way. Helen would try to talk to Violet, and get her to see reason and the truth.

Violet had dedicated her entire life to helping her father get his revenge. Training every second of every day to become powerful enough to take down any Super in her path. To hear that her whole life was a lie, she wouldn't accept it.

In this AU, Tadashi is the leader of Big Hero 6. Hiro had been in war with the leader after the heroes arrested his father; Callaghan. It was during their first face-to-face confrontation when Tadashi realized that the smaller version of Yokai was his little brother that was abducted years ago.

The truth could be conflicting towards Hiro, I can see him trying to deny it, even if memories appear in his mind. I think, if anything, the painful truth would only drive him further down a dark path.

Penny is different from the others. She was raised as a spy by Dr. Calico, and her bio family isn’t her enemy here. Should she ever stumble across the truth of her origins, I don’t think she’d try to track down her family.

I had this idea where Wilbur is from the future and accidentally gets trapped in the past after stealing a time machine. So, he’s technically older than the group.

Anyway, I think Wilbur would discover the truth after a failed attempt to return to the future. But I think Wilbur would still blame Cornelius. If he hadn’t ruined Goobs life, he wouldn’t have been kidnapped. So Wilbur would stay on his path.

[bookshelfdreams]

Hi, what are your thoughts about all these fine people drinking when they are separated from those they care about? For me it's sad on a level I can't quite grasp but seems to be connected to how I felt during the past two years (even though I only drink when I have company).

hi! haha, i didn't think anyone would actually take me up on this, thank you <3 Original post by @amuseoffyre here

Throughout the show, alcohol is used as a shorthand for loneliness. Of course there's social drinking; but if a character over-indulges, it's usually to show they feel isolated and fail to make connections.

The very first person we ever see drunk is, iirc, Mary in ep4, which is an interesting choice considering this is a show about pirates.

We only see her take a few sips, but when she speaks and stands up it's pretty obvious that she's rather tipsy. This is of course a comedy stereotype (day-drinking wine mom lol) but it's not played for laughs. She's sitting at a table with Stede but they're not enjoying a glass of wine together; she's drinking because she's frustrated and isolated in her marriage (she and Stede can't communicate etc etc).

The other, noticeably drunk person is, of course Calico Jack, who I don't thing we ever see sober (only hungover). When he first appears he can barely stand straight, and it only gets vaguely better; he is always drinking. Even at breakfast.

Now the interesting thing is here, while that could technically qualify as social drinking - neither Jack nor Ed drink alone! - it's still in line with my thesis. watch me make this work

If this show has a central theme, I would say it is the discovery and acceptance of the authentic self. It is about playing roles and conforming to expectations; and how, to achive happiness, you have to break through that. Only once you find, accept and love yourself can you build the life you truly want.

And alcohol is an obstacle to that, quite literally. It lowers inhibitions; it makes you do dumb shit; it changes how you behave and how you are perceived. Calico Jack is unable to function without it; his true, authentic self is buried under alcoholism at all times. As this really smart meta said, he may be fun at parties but you don't want to be there for the hangover.

Jack is completely hidden behind the pirate persona. Overindulging in drink is a shorthand for this lifestyle, and by drawing Ed into that he's drawing him away from the people who genuinely care about him. But he's not offering a genuine connection in return; he says it himself.

"Pirates don't have friends. We're all just in various stages of fucking each other over."

The image, the persona is what's important. Ed may have built relationships with people who care for him, but none of them are fearsome, badass pirates. They're losers and nerds, and they don't make him look cool, and are thus worthless (or that's what Jack desperately needs Ed to believe).

Something similar happens with Stede at Mary's art show in ep10, when all those men buy him drinks and want him to tell stories. Again, there's the overindulgence: look at all those mugs on the table.

For reference, this is what the table looks like when they invite Stede over:

And then this exchange happens. Someone: "And what's Blackbeard like?" Stede: "He's absolutely lovely."

"Oh, and of course, a bloodthirsty killer!"

They, too, don't care about the real Edward Teach, they care about the badass pirate Blackbeard. They don't care about Stede's real experience, they care about the story they want him to be for them. This time, the persona is projected onto the person from outside, instead of built up and maintained by the person themselves, but the message is still the same:

To conform to expectations is to be isolated.

To not be your true, authentic self is to be isolated.

To be your true, authentic self, however, can be hard, and scary, and painful. The persona is there for a reason; it lets you hide and deny all your insecurities and vulnerabilities. It lets you forget that you long to be loved. It protects you from the worst pain of all: rejection.

Alcohol is just another crutch to hide your true, authentic, messy and uncool self. The self you have to expose to get people to connect with you, even at the risk of rejection.

This is why it makes me sad that the sweet lads take refuge in alcohol when they're seperated from the people they care about :(

[mylifeisadeceit]

There are meny parallels between Ed and Stede but God fucking damn it.

Stede is literally a guy that decided casually to just abandone his whole family to pursue a dream he doesn't even know anything about.

He comes from a life where he had no choice, trapped, and then he leaves and stars living completely freely.

And all of his decisions are his decisions, that's why while watching I was boiling.

On one end everything good that comes to him, comes from him. The people he mets, the actions he does, it's him and those are his choices.

And everything bad that happens to him is his fault. When he leaves again and when he returns, when he killed that guy, when he doesn't come back to Ed. He wasn't pressured or forced, all him.

On a whim.

On the other hand Ed is so smfjddjdjd to me, so sad, because technically he starts as free.

But almost everything that happens to him it's not really in his control.

Like... Everytime he does something it's like he can't and will backfire.

In his early years does an act that will hunt him for life; that's where his freedom starts.

He's skilled in combat, much so that he doesn't actually have to kill personally, he's so good that now just fear will lead to victory and refines this art so well that he doesn't actually have to do anything to win.

He chosed to become Blackbeard and where does that lead him?

The play he started can't stop now, no one wants him to stop and he's a living legend, sad like a greek god.

It wasn't even him anymore "he was working for Blackbeard", what everybody expect him to be. He's free isn't he? He can do whatever he wants.

And at the star of the serie he's so bored, so he decides to try this new approach, to see what this new weirdo will do.

And he starts to care deeply for that guy.

And again, everything he does backfire:

"plotting behind stede's back" ----> stede gets stabbed and almost die

The kraken story ----> this goes from a bad thing (him crying so damn hard) to a good thing because he connects to stede to a bad thing again because... We'll get to that

Going to the fancy party ----> gets royally bullied

Goes with Calico Jack, the man who saves his life ----> the whole crew almost die and they get captured

I... I could go on.

And last but not least, he connects deeply with stede, he loves him like no one else before, heck he fucking adores him it's unreal.

And that's for both of them.

And what does that lead him?

He kisses him, opens his heart, propose to go away to a new life.

And he gets fucking abandoned without a warning.

Man how fucking sad is that.

And he returns to his old life, he-

- Ok I'm gonna to diverge a little but Izzy hands was fucking enjoying being beaten up a little too much what the actual fuck. He's the one who really push for the comeback but wtf he was being chocked while over the moon; his finger was cut and he had to eat it and he was smiling wtf man wtf -

He was pressured once again to be strong and fearsome but again wasn't really his choice. I mean he was insulted and had to speed up a little bit his break out fase.

And now everything he's doing will backfire. Killing Lucius (maybe) leaving the crew behind and everything, all that facade will crumble again and now that it's even bigger, higher, it'll fall more. God it'll be a blast if we get that second season.

Everything will backfire, the story of his life

[banditcoyote]

“No!” he said shaking his head. “I’ve had monkeys before, for sure, they’re my favorite flavor, but I don’t think I’ve had GUMMY monkeys.” he told her.  He huffed “You’re the one whose adamant about staying in here.” he told her. Then added “We could probably set up a bed right on deck, under the stars.” he said wistfully thinking she may enjoy that more.  He nodded, though he was starving his stomach was still in a few knots from this morning. “Lets get us both food.” he insisted, willing to place a bet that she hadn’t eaten either. He headed out across the deck, things seemed busy and hectic but Coyote navigated it all expertly like he hadn’t been away from a working ship in over thirty years. He pointed out a few things on deck to her, giving her a brief rundown of names and sometimes the job duties that went with it. Frick was up at the helm and he seemed to be watching but Coyote didn’t pay him much attention aside from flashing him a smile as he squeezed Sasuga’s hand, making sure to keep her close to his side.  They made their way down to the galley, and there was a big turtle demon in the kitchen. “Ah!” Coyote said looking delighted “Augie!” He said putting his arms out. The turtle demon shuffled around and saw Coyote looking just as happily surprised.  “Calico Jack! As I live and breathe!” he said and welcome Coyote in for a hug. “Never thought I’d see you around here again.”  Coyote gave a shrug. “I didn’t expect to be here myself! But I didn’t the first time either.” he laughed. “This is my mate, Anne Bonny, she’s never been on a pirate ship before. We’re hoping it’s not too late for breakfast?”  Augie chortled “Well, technically it’s; over, but I got some leftover oatmeal and a few fruit pieces, that might hold you until lunch.” “Not even a sausage?” Coyote said begging a little.  “One sausage.” Augie answered and moved to get them the bowls.  Coyote smiled at Sasuga “We’ll take what we can get.” he said to her, this was not a gourmet experience that they were used to when traveling but at least oatmeal would be filling for them.

What a Pirate Desires

It was early in the morning when she jerked awake, throwing the covers off and pulling away from the bed completely. She stumbled on her feet for a moment, eyes wide and shivering from head to toe despite the fact that Coyote had dressed her in her nice warm flannels. Big blues darted around the room as Coyote sat up and assessed the situation. She took a shaky breath, tears burning the corners of her eyes. "I hate it..." she breathed and even looked to see if she could see her breath which she couldn't of course. She started to waver and in an instant strong arms were holding her up and she let them. "I'm so cold, Coyote... Can you make more tea? Can we sit by the fire downstairs? Can I wear your robe for a while?" making several requests which she knew he would allow and would help her feel better.

@banditcoyote

[thatgirlonstage]

The (Alleged) Death of Lucius Spriggs

This was originally a twitter thread but I liked what I articulated in this meta enough that I wanted to copy it over here as well. Context: I finished binging the show and promptly had a lot of thoughts about what the scene where Blackbeard tips Lucius overboard is doing thematically and narratively. Enjoy!

———

So.

The bathtub scene, right.

A few things to establish up front:

One, I did not fully appreciate the impact of Lucius going overboard in the moment bc I didn’t realize the season ended on a bad time cliffhanger and I absolutely assumed he was gonna turn up alive again before the end. It shifts my thoughts a lot that he did not.

Two, I’m still pretty sure he’ll turn up alive if/when we get s2 — whether he got back onboard and is living in the walls, or Calico Jack floated by in a rowboat and pulled him out of the water, or what. But as far as Blackbeard knows right now, he’s dead. That was the intention. And because of the way the season ended, bc they didn't tease his survival as certainty, we the audience are left to at least speculate what it means if he’s really dead.

Three, One Can Argue that if “technically the fire killed them” is Ed’s excuse for how he didn’t ACTUALLY KILL the people on the boat in that story, then he could look at Lucius’s death as “technically the water killed him." And I think it does matter, actually, that Ed tipped him overboard instead of putting a knife in his ribs! Or without putting a knife in his ribs first and then tipping him over to get rid of the body. Put a pin in that, I’ll get back to it. But even in the land of playing with technicalities to survive the crushing weight of your own guilt, there’s something different between setting a fire and leaving people to their fate, and physically hurling a grown man into the ocean. They’re gonna feel different.

So the bathtub scene, right.

I kind of eyebrow raise at Ed’s assertion that he’s never killed ANYONE else — much like Bat “I don’t kill” man tossing men off a wall, there are things this guy does that are going to be deadly even if he doesn’t mean them to be. I mean you’re living on pirate ships in the 18th century my guy, how many of those severed toes turned septic.

But let’s take him at his word that he’s never intentionally and personally delivered a proximately fatal injury since he murdered his father, bc I don’t think he’s supposed to be lying in that scene at all.

(If anything, the fact that he’s desperate to separate himself from a lot more deaths that he would most certainly bear legal and ethical responsibility for, just says a great deal about how badly he’s been coping with death and violence ever since he first set foot on a pirate ship.)

Ed, then, by tipping Lucius overboard, is doing something that the popular vision of Blackbeard attributes to him without question, but that Ed himself has only ever done once in his life before: deliberately murdering a man with his own two hands. No crew. No Izzy. Just him.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to speculate that this was a test Ed set for himself: if he couldn’t throw Lucius overboard, then he couldn’t be the kraken. He couldn’t be Blackbeard. If he hesitated, if he failed, then everything goes differently. He is in effect sinking himself deeper into the identity of Blackbeard than before: if Blackbeard was originally a mask of performance and fuckery that he put on for his reputation, now he is trying to behave like Blackbeard would, crossing lines he’s kept between "Blackbeard" and "Ed" for years. Even with no one around to witness.

To return to the pin: is there still plausible deniability (to himself) in leaving Lucius to drown? Yeah, some. Imo, it’s a marker of the fact that he knows his limits: he probably wouldn't have managed a knife into Lucius’s heart. He would have hesitated, and he didn't want to hesitate. So he picked the middle ground: something certain to be fatal, and enacted by his own two hands, but still with a sliver of distance from stabbing or strangling or shooting. It’ll be interesting (IF WE GET ANOTHER SEASON) to see what he does as this continues, bc I could see him gearing up into more and more violence and direct murder. Equivalently, though, you could definitely write him continuing to break down in such a way that he never does it again.

Either way, though: let’s talk about WHY LUCIUS

(the thing I really wanted to get to with this long ramble lol)

There are a few obvious answers from a diegetic character perspective:

Lucius, of everyone on the crew, is most similar to Stede: he’s literate, intelligent, clearly has some cultural education. He has soft hands; he does not do physical labor, he doesn’t fight: he scribes.

Lucius is the one who saw their relationship happening most clearly, arguably before either Stede or Ed saw it themselves. He encouraged and bullied Ed into making himself vulnerable and available to Stede, he told Ed off for leaving, HE TOLD ED STEDE CARED FOR HIM

He’s the most emotionally perceptive and insightful member of the crew, which arguably makes him the most dangerous as Ed executes his coup into Blackbeard. It was important to eliminate him before he could realize something was up and warn the others.

He doesn’t fight, at least not much and not well, which also makes him an easy mark. He trusts Ed, his guard will be down, and he doesn’t have the reflexes for an unexpected attack. If Ed is testing himself, he can be sure it will be done quick, rather than turn into a scuffle and ruin everything.

So from both a practical perspective and a “FUCK you for your shitty relationship advice and for reminding me of his existence” standpoint, there's a lot of reasons Blackbeard wants Lucius gone first.

But this show has fuckin layers and it’s doing things on a thematic level here too. And it 1000% goes back to the “we don’t own each other here” episode that I yelled about in the original thread.*

Because Lucius embodies “we don’t own each other here”. He’s both the mouthpiece and the demonstration of that philosophy. He is openly, swaggeringly confident, joyous, unafraid of himself, his own desires, his strengths, and unashamed of his weaknesses. Telling Izzy he can’t scrape the barnacles is funny, and silly (and there’s a definite sympathetic-to-Izzy angle here of “oh my god I know it’s not fun but you do in fact need to take care of the boat which you live on") but it’s also a demonstration of the fact that Lucius gets, in general, to be treated with respect for his own strengths, without demands that he participate in work that risks jeopardizing those strengths (hurting his hands), even when his strengths don’t line up with a stereotypical pirate.

In other words: Lucius is all the good things about Stede’s crew fully realized.

He’s the thing Stede and Ed could become, if they are given a chance. Not his exact personality, but his confidence and ease at being fully himself, in a way that brings him joy. No one owns Lucius Spriggs. No one dictates how he lives his life. It’s exactly the opposite of Izzy, who wants nothing more than he wants to be owned, to be made in someone else’s image, who clings to the image that other people have of him and of Blackbeard like it’s his only lifeboat. Which is why of course Izzy is the villain and why Izzy and Lucius are foiled so much. (And god bless the writers for making queerness and sexuality an inseparable part of this, that for all these characters the ability to be oneself is deeply tied to love and sex and freedom of choice about those things.)

So to circle all the way back around: Ed doesn’t just throw Lucius overboard for giving him an undeserved shovel talk, he throws Lucius overboard because he is both literally and figuratively throwing away the future Stede’s crew represents. He has to get rid of Lucius, because Lucius is the vision of all the things Ed is deciding that he cannot be.

So it’s a test, for himself: can he be the kraken, can he do it again, can he kill.

And yes, physically Lucius is an easy mark, and a practical one, and also Ed is pissed at him. But it’s another kind of test too: not just can he kill, but can he kill that future specifically. It’s a decision Ed makes, in that moment, not just to be the kraken, not just to kill, but to remove Lucius and thereby remove everything he represents.

Ok thank you for coming to my very rambly TEDTalk, I have so many thoughts and this series is so good and smartly written I could seriously talk about it for days.

———

*I realized after posting that most of this was actually not in my original liveblog but rather on the side account bc that's where I put the majority of my Izzy Hands thoughts for everyone's safety, but this is what I said about that scene:

Hello hi yes I’m losing my mind over Lucius, the tagalong scribe guy for the first few episodes, suddenly being The One In Control when it’s Izzy left to handle the boat by himself and how explicitly it’s about sexuality and seduction and Izzy’s repression. The power dynamics going on here are fascinating.

I am thinking so hard about "we don't know each other here". Just, the number of things built into that

that Izzy tries emotionally manipulative blackmail on Lucius in the first place, rather than just idk threatening to whip him or something

that he *expects the blackmail to work*, bc he ASSUMES Lucius is doing this behind Pete’s back

that Lucius on Stede’s crew is not even slightly ashamed or discomfited or hiding anything about who’s getting naked with and around him

that Lucius doesn’t just identify the threat but *lasers in on* the place and assumptions Izzy is making it from

that the comeback is not “everyone knows, who cares” but instead “you don’t understand ANYBODY ON THIS BOAT”, and also “you don’t get to have that kind of power over me or anyone, not here”

that it’s ALSO “no one will own you either” which is its own kind of threat to izzy

He doesn’t get to be owned which means he is crushingly, excruciatingly alone bc no one WANTS him people only USE him

And Izzy has made himself scary enough and powerful enough that the only person who GETS to use him is Blackbeard, but oh my terrible grimy pirate man, what in your past made you Like This bc it must be something

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok I’m gonna jump on my Calico Jack apologia for a bit here. To be clear I don’t think that Calico jack being mean to Stede like that was ok, it had underlying tones of toxic masculinity and misogyny and a little bit of homophobia and it was uncool, and I think he had the cannonball to the chest coming for what he did to poor Karl. also I think the nickname was a bad writing call. I will not defend this character from those things. What I do want to apologize for is everything else

Ok now with that out of the way because no one on tumblr understand nuance. Here goes. STEDE DID TO MARY AND DOUG EXACTLY WHAT JACK DID TO ED AND STEDE EXCEPT STEDE DIDN’T HAVE AN EXCUSE AND JACK DID!!! Allow me to explain. First off I’ll just acknowledge the way in which Jack was worse. The only way that he was worse in fact. Jack never apologized. Stede did, point for Stede there.

Now brief aside to talk about Izzy Hands (i.e. Calico Jack’s excuse) Izzy is clearly talking about how shitty Stede is to anyone who will listen. How Ed has been seduced by him and how he’s done something to Ed’s brain and all that bullshit. We also know that Jack was sent by Izzy to extract him before the British show up. That was Jack’s mission. Now I want you to imagine that you’ve got an old friend, you and this old friend haven’t talked in a couple years, but you went through a lot together when you were younger. You’re friend’s current best friend approaches you and tells you that they’re currently fighting with your old friend because this friend has a new boyfriend and his new boyfriend is shitty blah blah blah you probably stop listening. But then this friend of a friend who you’re talking to mentions that the new boyfriend has a warrant out for his arrest, and you happen to know that the old friend in question has done something that that they could get put away for life for, and if the cops show up, your friend is defiantly going away for a really long time. The best friend then tells you that he’s made a deal with the cops to get his own record scrubbed in exchange for information about where to find the new boyfriend. What might you do to save your friend from getting locked up for the rest of his life?

Now that you’ve seen things from Jack’s point of view. Jack is no longer trying to maliciously break Ed and Stede up, is he? No he’s trying to save Ed’s life. Could he technically have warned everyone? Yeah. But he doesn’t know Stede, all he knows about Stede is what Izzy Hands told him. And I’m guessing someone like Jack isn’t going to be too terribly charitable to a pirate hobbyist, as is his right, frankly. Stede doesn’t have to do this and he’s putting everyone else at risk by doing it. So if Jack deems Stede to be a liability, which he almost certainly has, he’s going to try to get Ed out of there without Stede figuring out what’s going on, so that Stede goes down and Ed walks, -1 liability that’s gonna get his ass shot. Jack doesn’t know that Ed’s in love. Jack just knows he’s in danger. That is the context in which Jack tells Stede that he doesn’t know Ed at all and pisses on his boots. That is the context in which Jack calls Stede a “Store Bought type” as opposed to a real pirate. That is the context that Jack has.

Another thing I want to touch on is that Jack almost defiantly thought Ed knew what he was doing. I want to remind you of that scene where Ed finds out what’s going on. Jack says “When I heard you shacked up with him I said-” and Ed cuts him off and asks “Where’d you hear that?” and Jack’s eye twitches a little and he furrows his brow and cocks his head in confusion. Then he start’s laughing and says “Took you long enough, the old Blackbeard would have seen me coming a mile away.” Like, he thought Blackbeard knew what he was doing the entire time. He was under the impression that Ed knew and agreed to come with him in full knowledge of that.

Also The entire time he was there up until the point of Ed breaking up with Stede, Ed was having a perfectly good time. He was laughing, and smiling and jumping around and when Ed did give off vibes that he was uncomfortable, Jack laid off. He of course didn’t lay off Stede, but as soon as Ed adjusts himself uncomfortably in the chair and Says “Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.” Jack stops talking, let’s Ed and Stede have their moment, and suggests they do a new activity. He’s not there to bully Ed or make Ed feel like shit. He’s there to cause problems on purpose and get out while the getting's good.

Now I get that Jack was still super manipulative and he still says really shitty things like the whole ‘pirates don’t have friends’ line, which almost definitely  fucked with Ed assuming he wasn’t too under water to hear it. But I think that Jack being kinda Shitty can in fact be forgiven, at least as it relates to Ed and Stede, not as it relates to Karl there is no excuse for what happened to Karl, given that Stede is so much worse to Mary and Doug.

Now that we’ve compared Stede’s POV of the Calico Jack incident to Jack’s Pov of the Calico Jack incident, lets consider Doug’s POV of the Stede Bonnet incident.

I am going to make an assumption about Doug. I will assume he’s a wife guy who loves Mary very much.

So you fall in love with someone, right, you have a lot of common interests, common interests that you have been engaging with for a long time but which they have never really been encouraged for and have even been insulted for at times. They ask you to show them more because you’re the expert, and you do and as you do you very slowly fall in love with this person and they fall in love with you and you get closer and closer over time and everything is going great. Then their ex from a time when they were unhappy and had to hide a part of themself shows up and expects them to be the same person they were when they were unhappy and causes problems when they aren’t that person anymore. Does this sound familiar? It should because that is both the Doug, Mary, Stede dynamic, and the Stede, Ed, Jack dynamic.

Except it’s actually not the same, because the whole time Jack was there, up until the breakup, he was getting positive feedback. Stede was the only one who didn’t want him there. Stede didn’t get any positive feedback. Mary’s friend openly wants to kill him from the moment that he steps in the house. Mary vomits when he shows back up. And when Stede get’s drunk he’s not fun he’s violent. Calico Jack ruined a perfectly good pair of boots, Stede almost ruined Doug’s neck. What Stede did might have been acceptable in Spanish Jackie’s bar I guess but at an art showing in Barbados where Stede (and maybe Evelyn Higs) is the only criminal? That's insane. It’s the moment when Mary decides if she doesn’t get rid of him he’s going to hurt people.

So you know I give Stede credit for apologizing, but he really fucked up, and I think that despite Jack and Stede displaying similar behavior in these two scenes, Jack is fundamentally more sympathetic here than Stede because of their motivations. Jack wants to extract Ed from a life threatening situation. Stede wants to.... ???

Thats the rub isn’t it. Stede’s not doing this because he has some reason for it. There’s no end goal that is ultimately understandable. He just feels weirdly possessive over Mary despite having abandoned her. He doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with her. He just feels like she should be behaving like his wife despite him never once behaving like her husband. If we’re gonna give Jack shit for being casually misogynistic and homophobic and fatphobic for the “Who’s the big gal” comment we have to give Stede shit for being violently misogynistic with his behavior towards Mary and Doug by proximity. Did he make amends, did she forgive him? Yes. Did he redeem himself? Yeah. But there was so much to redeem dude.

Anyway Calico Jack is actually an interesting and complex character who is also a dick some of you were just bullied in high school and are letting your innate fear of jocks and frat boys get in the way of you accepting that. And you’re more willing to let an autistic gay nerd get away with actually terrible shit because he’s on your side of the high school predator pray dynamic that you were supposed to have turned in with your cap and gown.