jettyfisher

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Sketches of one of the head mate’s NPCs for monster hearts. Jockey the dullahan and Bloody Mary the ghost. They’re apart of Ghost Face’s band, Tomb Town. Both are backup vocals, Jock as the electric guitarist and Mary as the drummer.

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Vent IIII.

There's something terribly wrong with me if I simultaneously become happy and also violently angry with myself when I think about or talk about my characters. Like, I'll say a passing comment about them and then immediately think "holy fuck I want to kms right now," and then curb stomp the happiness out of my thoughts.

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Rambling I.

I think I know what it is now that I've sat here thinking about what I want.

I yearn for a romance I can relate to. The sort where I was able to ride along side the story the whole way, feeling what my characters feel, knowing how and when their character arch happens. It's why stories like She-Ra and some amount of Steven Universe resonate so much with my yearning. There's a full story development and resolution that feels earned because we saw the tension and the growth. There's nothing like it, even in the case of action stories. There's some sort of dissonance because I don't feel like I would be doing all these action stunts. No, I'm way more in tune with emotions than anything else. If there is fighting, it's because that person has history with my character. They have mixed feelings or they're in denial. Fighting not for the sake of fighting to kill but for love in all it's facets. I just want to see my blorbos happy.

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Vent III.

I wish things didn't end.. I hate being attached to anything. And by that I mean, I love it but-- It's like dating. The amount of times you get your hopes up and think, maybe this is the one... Then they ghost you or cheat on you with some other idea. Idk I think I just have to get over it. Is what I tell myself. Can't believe I have to mask my own stupid emotions just to play table top now. Otherwise, I'll turn into a toxic player that gets angry when the other players aren't in character or focused on the objective because every time they disappoint the GM, they push it closer and closer to dumping the game entirely. Fuuuck and then I get mad at them for stealing my hyper fixation away from me. Bury me.

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Weird yearning.

I'm the worst when it comes to wanting the villain or nemesis to like me (my characters). Maybe it's because I seek validation from bullies but I don't want to over self analyse. Like, I know it's not a believable scenario but like ugh, listen: The Big Bad wants to do bad things, eg Murder BUT my character is getting in their way - but oh no, despite them ruining their "evil" plan, somehow my character is so cool and respectable that the Big Bad wants them secretly. If only my character was on their siiide, is what they would wish for. If only some how, some way, they could convince my character to like them back! And of course, through their desire to impress my character, they become somewhat redeemable through their acts of good or righteous badassery. But of course, the Big Bad won't show it or admit to it because they're aloof and embarrassed. They'd probably try and do a bunch of stupid shit just to get the attention of my character. ANYWAY, I'm crazy for Big Bad x Good Guy ships so long as Big Bad is redeemable in the way where they end up caring a lot about Good Guy in the end. Like, no one is allowed to hate my pookie except me. Like, idk what if Wander from Wander over Yonder x Lord Hater. Or Sylvia x Lord Dominator. Y'know? God what's wrong with me.

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Small vent II.

From the way I yearn and complain all the time about not being able to fully achieve my ideal romance in roleplay-- It really sounds like I should write a book instead of hoping for a ttrpg to be THE ONE. But I don't fucking want to. I could easily be inspired but how the fuck do I even commit to ALL of the book. I just want scenes from our skull out and on a page so it no longer plagues us. Writing takes forever. I'm so mad.

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Small vent.

I want and NEED a non binary lesbian monster to save me from the tyranny of liking one more male NPC. And if they are, I pray he be transgender, please. I beg on my knees.

I understand that Vampires can sort of transcend gender and sexuality but God dammit, I need to have it now. SHOW IT TO ME!! Why the fuck are the last two Vampire characters I liked be fucking cis MEN?! Is it suppose to be cause I should not like them? That they're massive red flags and-- Yeah, okay well. Fuck me for being pansexual. But if you're going to put two male Vampires in front of me and make them the sexy villains, but the ONE female Vampire harder to reach for because they're not actively trying to kill me, then I guess it's my God DAMN fault and should know better. Anyway, yeah. I yearn. Whatever.

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I think I'm done with vampire and werewolf posting for now. I may get back into it later but my heart just isn't in it. Monsters are fun. It's so hard for me to keep the obsession alive between me and my head mates. Writing is so tedious when we've lived it all within our minds each night. Words fail to describe emotion some times. Oh well. On to new things I guess.

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Fluffy!

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A couple of love drunk werelesbians... Inspired by: https://twitter.com/emtfira/status/1743710646922084458/photo/1

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Updated Chandra's werewolf design with some lighter under fluffies and made the impression of the face texture more like short hair. Bonus 60% mode, Chandra with the big teef.

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He stole Mitch's clothes.

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They stole Ghost Face's clothes.

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He stole Marlin's clothes.

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They stole Chandra's clothes.

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They stole Jason's clothes.

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I want to bite them and shake them around.