#technically danny is a good chef

[nelkcats]

Fenton Street Food

"You know what's better than being a superhero? A street food vendor! Yes, superheroes can save the day, stop villains and receive hatred or admiration as the case may be, but a street vendor? They are at the heart of the action, fulfilling their dreams! They traveled the world feeding the masses, and even met superheroes, feeding them to keep them doing their duty, food carts are the centerpiece of keeping the heroes alive, they are the heroes..."

Maybe if Danny repeated it enough times he'd start to believe it, though seeing the monstrosity that was the Fenton food cart he highly doubted it. More so because it had fucking guns hidden next to the mutant and very alive Hot dogs (which by the way were not sellable, they were the mascots of the brand).

It all started when Jack Fenton talked about his dream of delivering his favorite food around the world, that fueled Maddie Fenton's idea, and since Jazz was in college and Danny was on vacation no one could stop them.

Soon Danny became a victim of his parents' eccentricities. Although the halfa had to admit that selling in Gotham was a lot of fun, thieves didn't think it was worth mugging him and the Rogues themselves bought his food of dubious origins.

It was almost a shame to have to change cities because Batman was getting too suspicious but Metropolis was waiting for him. And he would be back eventually; some bats who had enjoyed his strange roving food stall had waved him off with handkerchiefs, wiping away fake tears. Danny appreciated it.

Besides, Red Robin affirmed to him that he would recommend him to Superboy, so he wouldn't run out of customers anytime soon. He wondered if he should stop by Central City, the Flash Family ate a lot didn't they?

[lesbianamalvada]

I'm sorry girlies but I just DO NOT get Darlington's appeal. He's a fine character, maybe it's just the lesbian in me, but him and Alex seem SO FORCED. Plus it's a "slow burn" but we know what the fuck you're gonna do Bardugo!! Idk it's just so forced, ntm they've barely spent anytime together because Dumbass Darlington walked into monster month (and his last thoughts were blaming Alex for it, lmfaoo). And the interaction they do have together is dull, sorry! Alex is such a cool character and she has more chemistry with literally EVERYONE ELSE in the cast.

I mean just look at the descent in Hell Bent where we get a backstory of all the characters. Pamela Dawes isn't loud and out-of-this-world like most Bardugo characters. She feels so realistic, but is still so interesting. We see how she has crippling anxiety from developing too fast, how she hides behind her academia, how she's torn up about killing Blake. She's so understated but so real and relatable for it.

We see how Turner struggles with being a cop and trying to be a bastard, how he literally killed his mentee for what he believes in, how he tries to be a fighter for good and his people in a world that rewards him for doing the opposite. Even his spirituality is handled respectfully and he's just a really well done character.

Then we have Tripp, we've all met a Tripp, all the privilege in the world but you can't even hate him for it cause he's been too sheltered to ever develop a mean bone in his body. Except we see how he dealt with abuse from his cousin all his life. We see how Spenser just gets away with it, and I empathized with Tripp when he let Spenser die. (Which btw he's not technically a murderer for that but WHATEVER LEIGH) After the descent I did a full 180 on his character!

And Mercy is so fun. She's not familiar with the world of magic and looks at it with hopeful-Harry-Potter-fan eyes, she's like a conduit for the reader in a way the jaded Alex can't be. But also if you think about her backstory is VERY dark. She was violated in the most horrible way by this magic before she even knew it existed. And now she wants to harness that same magic so she's never put in that position again. She kills a man because Alex tells her to, because she thinks this is some sort of Hogwarts adventure. And then at the end of the book you see grasp what Lethe is, and her tension with Alex is *chef's kiss* so good!

Ughh and thenn we have Darlington...what's Darlington's big murderer moment? The thing that made him eligible for a scholarship at Demon University? He *checks notes* pulled the life support on his dying geriatric grandpa at the man's own request....okayy. Surely there's something else? Well you see Darlington's always wanted to believe in magic! Just like all of us! It's like he's trying to hard to represent us fantasy readers, but by the second book Mercy already accomplishes this and does it better. And I guess you can say he had neglectful parents but it's just handled so unrealistically I couldn't believe it. 1. Once the grandpa was dead and Darlington was a minor his parents could have easily torn down that shitty house. 2. Darlington would legally belong to them, they wouldn't have to turn off the electricity to freeze him out of the house, they could call CPS who would bust down the doors and give him to his parents. 3. His whole backstory relies on a crusty house?? Really?? 4. I'm tired of the poor little rich boy trope. I'd rather have characters like Tripp, yes they've had their own struggles but wealth has shielded them, instead of unrealistic characters like Darlington. It's even worse because Leigh tries to frame Alex's and Darlington's childhood as "two sides of the same coin' when it's not that at all!

And you'd think Demon Danny would have a little spice but, no? I guess he enjoyed punishing people and making them suffer (told, not show) and he has urges to do it again? But more importantly we need to know that he REALLY REALLY wants to fuck Alex. Also he will serve Alex TiL tHe EnD oF dAyS! He's also her personal slave now and she can make him do whatever. Demon Danny is starting to feel like a fetish, okay? IT'S. SO. FORCED. They barely had any chemistry before the dumbass walked straight into Hell, but I see why Alex's destructive nature would put her on a suicide mission for his rescue. But now he's dreaming about her in his perfect future? They're cosmically connected to each other? It's so funny because they are both way closer to Pamela Dawes but just fuck her I guess.

Anyway I think Darlington lacks substance and he's not good enough for Alex BUT i'm hoping I'll like him more in book 3. Can any Darlington fans give me your interpretation of the character and why you like him? I really don't like feeling this way since he's such a big part of the story and sometimes a different analysis is all you need. As of right now he's the embodiment "Go girl! Give us nothing!" for me.

[halfagone]

Hi Halfa! What's 3 DC fics you'd think would be interesting to include DP characters/tropes into?

And what's 3 DP fics do you think'd be interesting to include DC characters/tropes into?

(This isn't a ploy to fish fic recs, psshhhhhhh, noooooooooo)

Hello Anon! :D Don't take this the wrong way but I am giddy with excitement right now because I've been talking about this with friends and I am just squealing now that I get to ramble about it.

Now just to clarify, I'll probably use tropes more so than specific fics, because for one, I don't want to step on any author's toes. And two, I like those fics as they are and do not want to dirty them with my grubby hands. However! I can still give fic recs so you can get an idea of the kind of AU I'm talking about here. lol Not that you're fishing for them ofc, no not at all

(Added a Read More because apparently I have a lot of fic recs. :D Total: 17 (if I mathed right, that is))

DC Fics, Now With a Splash of ectoplasm DP

Stray Tim AU

He's technically also known as Catlad, but like- I prefer Stray (as if that isn't obvious by my Stray!Danny AU XD), but that's neither here nor there. In this AU, if the name didn't explain enough, he apprentices underneath Selina as her apprentice. Depending on the author's choice, it's either as a young child or after he leaves the Batfamily for one reason or another.

An example of this AU: timcat by drakefeathers. This fic actually got recommended to me earlier today (you know who you are) and it is so cute. He is so baby and I love him.

2. Reverse Robins AU

Now this is an AU I've talked about frequently, but for good reason. There are so many ways you can write this idea- Hell, can you imagine a Demon Twins AU with Reverse Robins- Hold on a sec, let me add a WIP to my spreadsheet...

Okay, back. Anyways, where was I? Oh right, REVERSE ROBINS! In this AU, Damian is actually the oldest Batkid, and Dick is the youngest. Depending on the AU, Dick can even be an ex-Talon, so just keep that in mind~ Almost unanimously, Tim is the Batkid that died instead of Jason, and becomes the Red Hood (sometimes he was Joker Junior in this AU as well which is... uh. If you look into those fics, make sure you read the tags religiously.)

An example for this AU: and oh, my heart (how can i face you now?) by weareallstardustfallen. And this fic is *chef's kiss* It's in Damian's POV, it's a gloriously long one-shot. I cannot recommend this enough.

3. Jason Todd Goes Home

There are multiple interpretations you can do with this AU. Sometimes he doesn't become Red Hood, sometimes he doesn't get dipped in the Lazarus Pit, it all really depends on what you want to do with it. I've technically written a fic with this idea, where Danny actually finds Jason and helps him claw out of his grave, subsequently returning him home. That fic is what was lost, found again. Five chapters, completed.

There are fics where Tim actually finds Jason first! Here's one called best laid plans by Valkirin. Highly recommend. Tim finds Jason first but then the League of Assassins find them too. >:3

On a different, yet similar note, we have a fic where Talia is actually a decent person and brings Jason back??? After dunking him in a Pit??? You love to see it. This one is Verdant by Cerusee.

DP Fics Now With DC Packing

Field Trip to the Ghost Zone

There are a decent number of these fics out there if you know where to find them. I feel like this one is self-explanatory, but basically- Danny's class takes either a planned or impromptu trip to the Ghost Zone. Very rarely does his secret identity survive the fallout. Now imagine if we put Damian's class on the school bus.

Some Gothamite kid, probably: "I don't remember The Magic School Bus going like this."

Marsalias' (in)famous Mortified is definitely one of them up there. They actually wrote a second field trip fic not long after completing Mortified, which is called School Bus in the Ghost Zone. So if you're in the process of reading Mortified, or maybe you can't commit to a long-form fic right now, this one might be for you.

Deathcomes4u also has two field trip fics you can read. One of them was for this year's Phic Phight called The Gloves Are Off. He-larious fic, cannot get enough of it. Also includes some very fun DP headcanons! The second is called The Trip. You're gonna want to read the tags before you explore this one, but what's up so far a very thrilling read.

There is also Stranded With My Class, but this one is on FF.net so you might want to turn on ALL your adblockers before you venture into that site.

2. Death Day :3

I've written a chapter about this in lex luthor's ascent but it's part of a larger plot so I hope no one feels pressured to read it. But in general this fic idea can be very heavy, BE CAREFUL if you explore it. You can have DC characters react to Danny's death day, you can give Jason or Damian or Cass- or pretty much any resurrected DC character you like- a death day. Spread the whump and angst, that's how we show our love.

Here is an example, also from Deathcomes4u: Anniversary. I really enjoy how this author writes the background characters as well. It's got a splash of humor and the Everlasting Trio makes me all soft. :')

Death Day Evolution by gamma_radio has some great worldbuilding and lore added to the concept. I love how they tied Danny gets new powers in this fic, and you gotta love the Cryptid Danny Fenton energy. XD

3. Partial Identity Reveals

Now this one is more self-indulgent for me, but I'm allowed to do that. XD I would've put simply Cryptid Danny, but it encompasses a little more than that in most cases, which is why I kept this title for it instead.

These are fics where Danny is revealed or shown to be Off™ somewhat, but in most cases they don't know the full extent of his secret identity. Most of the time it's just his powers or that he's not fully human, what have you. I love a good bombastic identity reveal, you know, but something about the subtler ones are more inspirational, if you will. lol

I think this is the type of AU that would suit a Batman detective story much more, and allows the DC characters more time and interaction into this new world- if you will- rather than throwing them straight in it. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense.

Shots Fired by RedGhost1010 is an exceptional fic (I believe this author is also the person who writes Stranded with My Class, mentioned earlier, just uses a different pen name on Ao3). However, please read the tags for it before you do. This fic can be triggering for some people. They also write what is probably my favorite Bad Parent Jack and Maddie fic, which is called Humans and Ghosts. Another one you probably should read the tags for. But please check out their other fics; I enjoy so many of them, but unfortunately not all of them fit this fic rec description. :\

Finally we have It's Like Time Stops by anthrop. I cannot tell you how many times I reread this fic way back when. It's a very tasty Outsider POV fic that gives a view into how things changed after the Accident, and it's a good study into how his classmates would have perceived it.

Whooo... that's a lot of fic recs. I hope you got some new things to read out of it at least! Have some fun, but make sure to take care of yourself and avoid the fics that just aren't for you. No one will blame you for it. <3

[spiderculechronicals]

Aaaahh... I wrote a kinda romanticized diner scene with Peter 1 at his job being competent and thriving... idk I'm thinking the whole secret identity being leaked drama just fizzled out a lot in most people's minds, like they only half remember anything if it didn't directly impact them. So even though it's technically known that Peter Parker is Spiderman, like, he's been very lowkey about it for a while and most people don't put two and two together. (Maybe Strange did a spell that just kinda scrambled things up a bit?)

___

“Morning, Peter! Ugh, is that your weird oatmeal breakfast in a cup thing? Dude… I could not handle that texture first thing in the morning…” The line cook greeted him. Peter 1 rolled his eyes and set about making the coffee and stocking the pastry case with the bakery goods that had been dropped off just before he’d arrived.

“Morning Danny. Yeah, I know you’d rather hit a blinker on your vape and then slam a five hour energy shot with a waterboy for a chaser…” Peter 1 teased. “Gonna have a coronary before you’re forty, my guy.”

“Eh. Hey, can you do me a solid real quick and lift up this oven? I swear to God, Frank dropped the good turner and kicked it under here and didn’t tell nobody, and if I have to use the other one for my over easy eggs and the yolks break on me in the middle of the rush one more God damned time, I’m gonna lose it…”

“Uh…”

“… C’mon, dude. I saw you move the cardboard dumpster out of the loading zone last week. I know you’re like… enhanced, or whatever they call it. Extra shift meal for the rest of the month, on me. I won’t spread it around. Please?”

“Fine… gimmie something to cover my uniform, I don’t wanna get grease on my shirt, I just washed it.” Peter 1 took his apron off and stowed it by the register, then followed Danny back to the kitchen. He put on the proffered chef coat and full-length apron, then crouched down beside the piece of equipment. “Um. Gloves too, please.” Danny passed him a box and he put on a double layer of vinyl gloves, then started gingerly feeling around the bottom of the oven to find the most structurally sound spot to lift, finally settling on grabbing it by the legs. He lifted slowly, trying not to jostle it out of place too much in case it disconnected from the gas, stopping when the front was about a foot off the ground. “… good enough?”

“Fuck, man…! Yeah! … Oh shit there it is, I fucking knew it!!” Danny crawled down beside him and snatched up the grill tool, then backed out again. “Fucking lifesaver.” He took it to the dish pit and started scrubbing it down. “Dude if you weren’t such a touch-me-not I would blow you in the bathroom right now. Seriously. I’m taking this turner home with me from now on, Frank can go fuck himself.”

“Uh!” Peter 1 blushed, peeling the gloves into the trash.

“… Sorry, uh. That was, um, that was a joke and I hope I didn’t make you freak out? I mean unless you don’t want it to be a joke…”

“Danny,” Peter 1 laughed, “Oh my God…”

“Seriously please don’t freak out and quit, and that blowjob offer is a Schrödinger’s cat we can just let it go or like…”

“Danny, I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh for real?? Oh sweet, dude! I’m happy for you! He better be good enough for you, or it’s not just me, it’ll be all the regulars on his ass…”

“He is.”

“Hell yeah.” Danny smiled, then tipped his head towards the dining area at the sound of the door bells. “Got a customer.”

Peter 1 shucked the apron and coat and headed up front quickly.

“Morning, Tim! Morning, Paul. Got your coffee coming right up. Usual today?” Peter 1 filled two mugs with fresh black coffee and carried them to the counter. The door jangled again. “Morning, Janice!” He got another cup of coffee ready, this one in a to-go cup. He called out, “Danny! Tim and Paul.” Then went to Janice with her cup. “What’ll it be today?”

“Good morning, sweetheart. I’ll take a raspberry filled with this.”

Peter 1 rang in both items and swung the tap-to-pay out for her, quickly bagged the donut and passed it over. She winked at him and stuffed a folded bill into the tip jar. “Thank you! Have a good day!” He then hurried to ring in the first two orders properly, hearing the POS machine start to rattle off the tickets even as they were being plated up.

“Order Up!” Danny called out, putting two plates in the window. Peter 1 grabbed the two plates and took them to the counter, giving the plates a slight wiggle to judge the done-ness of the eggs before swapping the order and handing each man their breakfast. This earned him a chuckle of appreciation.

Peter 1 looked out the window and spotted a couple of other regulars on their way from across the street. “Danny, omelets incoming! Who closed last night? Is this all the mugs we have clean?”

“Shit, dude… it was Terry. How many you got up there?”

“Like… half a rack… but now I want to double check them to make sure they really are clean...”

“Fuckin’ Terry. Alright, I’m on it.”

“Who else is on today?”

“Just you and me till nine thirty, then we get Judy.”

“Judy starting late today? Trish wouldn’t cover?”

“Trish closed last night for Hailey. Judy’s gotta take her kid across town now to school every Monday morning or she doesn’t get the full weekend, since her ex moved. We got this, right?”

“Yeah, no problem. Feel bad for Judy. Dude, you’d better write Terry up about these mugs, I’m sending half of these back right now.”

“Fuuuck… yeah…” Danny sighed.

“�� Dude.”

“He’s on his last warning, if I do this he’s getting fired.”

“Danny…” Peter 1 softened his voice with compassion but laid the facts out straight. “You’re not the one doing it to him. He’s had warnings. He’s doing it to himself. If you don’t write him up, Judy and Trish are gonna walk. Also check the filters on the machine before you run these, you know he only cleans them out half the time. If I use an extra sleeve of to-go cups that don’t line up with the tickets just because we don’t have clean mugs, who do you think’s gonna get written up about it? Not Terry, unless you write him up first, because if you don’t, Rebecca is going to want to know why not. And I can’t come back there to help and leave the front unattended.”

The door jangled. Danny huffed and took the bus tub of mugs to the dish pit, cursing as he checked the filters in the machine.

“Morning, Don!” Peter 1 called out, spotting his apron by the register where he’d left it. He tied it on quickly and grabbed a pot of coffee, then grabbed one of the last clean mugs and walked out to Don’s booth. As the morning rush started in earnest Peter 1 made his way around, subtly working the crowd to keep the tickets from hitting all at once, talking up the fresh donuts and a few judicious times “accidentally” ringing in an order to go that wasn’t originally supposed to be. Before ten minutes had passed Danny set a steaming rack of clean mugs in the window and Peter 1 kicked up the speed again. “Thank you Danny!”

“Right, let’s fuckin’ Go…”

[ikiprian]

The Red Hood runs a series of perfectly legitimate businesses.

It’s Criminal Enterprise 101: If you don’t want the op busted come the first tax season, you better be keeping that cash clean. Ergo, money laundering.

There’s a collection of small Alley businesses who’d happily take a bribe, or whose loyalty Jason had won through years of going up to bat. They wouldn’t mind fudging their numbers. Unfortunately, the idea of a good family sinking for him burns like bathroom hooch.

Instead he sets up his own quick series of shops and restaurants, selling stupid things for stupider prices. He hires folks with reputations that say they can either take a hit or don’t care that they can’t. Smart enough to improv when the cops come knocking, but not enough for ambition. The right kind of greedy. The minimal amount of nosy.

He ends up finding Danny.

Technically the hiring process is handled by his lieutenants, but Jason would argue semantics. As the biggest fish in the Red Hood pond, he can take as much credit as he wants.

‘Course, he doesn’t meet the guy until a few months after he’d been hired. And the only reason he does is because the restaurant he’s cheffing at— a redecorated burger franchise whose Gotham location failed after a couple drive-bys— has requested additional funds.

In emails he’s CC’d in, his finance guy messages back, “Why?”

A reasonable question. Jason would like to know, himself.

Burger manager responds, “Quality ingredients.”

… Huh.

Finance says, “Why would you need better ingredients?”

Burger says, “Our cook’s pretty talented. He says fresh ground meat could take us next level.”

In a second email, almost as if he’d forgotten, Burger adds, “Samples so far taste great. And it’d turn us a real profit!”

That is… not what a money-laundering crime front is for.

Jason wonders if his lieutenants need a more clearly-defined list of ideal candidate qualities. Namely, one that differentiates “manageable ambition” and “oddly directed ambition.” Maybe also one that defines “smart.”

The thread continues almost all day, with burger guy insisting they gotta try it to believe it and finance guy growing a headache. (No clue what this legendary fry cook has achieved to get someone Jason knows is a hard-ass to vouch so hard. Maybe this is the result of a few too many decades of concussions? Or maybe the cook’s sneaking uppers in the seasoning.)

But hell, he’s been meaning to show some face. He’ll have to go when store hours are over, because it’s senseless to make a front only to openly affiliate it with his nightlife. But going to meet the underlings is good for the brand. Keeps ‘em in line. Before patrol, he’ll pop in for a bite.

No way the food’s as good as they claim.

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[arzuera]

I've been reading Robin's egg and u love it so much I'm so excited for cujo!!! Will Danny make damian ghost prince since technically damian has died before plus it'd be funny to see the batfam react to that

That's... a good point. Though, to be fair, if he is adopted by the Waynes, then all of the siblings will become royalty by default. The only ones who won't would be Barbara and Steph because they were never adopted into the family. Not like that would stop them, though.

But I could see Danny bestowing the honor to Damian first just to mess with everyone else until they realize they all are when he is officially adopted into the family.

Royal bat family!

Speaking of royal bats, I love your Lilia Vanrouge icon. I just got the culinary crucible SR of him, and I love how he joins to basically just ignore the chefs and go on his own cooking journey. Gotta love the chaotic bat dad <3

[escailyyy]

The real Sansa and Tyrion, additional notes:

Some practical backgrounds on the characters of my Reality show au that you guys didn't ask for but would still be cool to know if you're into character backstories Families: Starks: Owners of a Billionaire Textile business specializing in synthetic fur and other luxury fabrics, their founder was born in the North of England and their biggest factory/home base is also there. Lannisters: Old money, made their fortune in the oil business. Famous for their capitalist business practices Targaryen: very polemic superstar musician family dating back to the Industrial revolution era of music. Their hall of Fame is made up of mostly Rockstars and pop singers. Characters: Sansa: Fur empire heiress. Socialite with her own designer label. Famous for winning King's Landing Project runnaway. She won because the public either loved her intensely or hated her intensely. Nicknamed 'queen b(ch) of the North' by viewers of KL.Project Runnaway Tyrion: founder of a fortune 500 Publicity firm. Famous for handling all of Deanerys Targaryen's PR. He's the black sheep of the Lannister family who refused to go into the oil business. Jamie: Tyrion's brother B List Netflix Actor who's already tried modeling, starting a music career, writing a book (check out 'My life as Jamie Lannister' in a bookstore near you) and is basically always trying to find himself. He's also got a law degree he never uses. But yeah he's technically allowed to practice law if he wanted Brienne: Olympic swimmer from an little known island in the states. Was a finalist in 'dancing with the stars' along with famous ballroom dancer 'Goodwin Tzarcowsky', went to a elite college on a sports scholarship and ended up in the same sorority as Sansa and Margaery. Currently she works with the Starks (Catelyn) as personal trainer. Arya: Rebel heiress to the Stark empire. Kickboxing champion and women's rights advocate. Currently studying to be a public defender. Went to a private boarding school rumored to be a front for spy operatives. And is actually banned from entering Portugal, Istanbul and Bahamas, tho nobody knows why. Gendry: Totally normal guy. Struggling artist who makes art that looks like weapons but is actually art (maybe?) But probably could kill a man. Used to be a waiter in Arya's favorite restaurant until Davos Seaworth headhunted him and now he's Davos assistant. (His hiring had nothing to do with Doctor Stannis Baratheon seeing Gendry on TV and ordering his boyfriend to give Gendry a decent job, Davos is simply one of the judges for Star Chef, he doesn't believe in bureocracy) Jon: Sansa's cousin, went to the same college as Sansa, Brienne and Margaery. He is currently signed with North Models, which is a modeling Agency under the Stark umbrella. Famous for being the hot shirtless guy of Night's guard Security commercials, and occasionally playing the northern guy in flannel in a few Hallmark movies,  he's also done a lot of ads for Stark Furs and will occasionally appear in Danny's music videos. Jon is currently the face of SansaDesigns menswear clothing line. Daenerys Targaryen: Jon's girlfriend, Her family is super famous and scandalous. She's always at the top of the music charts with songs inspired by people she knows or simply roasting haters with some sick tunes. She's still friends with ex husband Action Starlet Drogo 'the Khal' Dothraki, she has an asshole brother who will never be as good as her #BeatThatViserys. And her feud with Sansa started when SansaDesigns started putting a shirtless Jon in all sort of suggestive poses to sell more of Sansa's fur cloaks. Cersei: Tyrion's sister, old time movie star, currently the mean judge in 'Casterly's Got Talent' and 'So you think you can Act'. Her fans love to hate her. Her Hollywood marriage to film director Robert Baratheon has outlasted almost every other marriage of her generation despite his affairs. And produced  3 children. Robert: Cersei's husband, movie director and casting couch king. Friends with Sansa's dad, for who knows what reason and Also Gendry's deadbeat biological father. Robb: Sansa's 1st brother, business man, family pocketbook, doesn't like to be filmed. Ladies man, in the process of divorcing wife #2 Talisa Maegyr, soon to marry wife #3 Roslin Frey, aka: the one who got away (yes, wife #1 was Jeyne Westerling, but we don't talk about her)

Margaery: Rom Com Actress and Sansa's best friend #2 after Brienne. Went to to the same sorority as those two. Her family is old money and she's the only female Heiress to Tyrell perfumes. Homegirl has been known to date co-stars just for publicity and is the queen of product placement

Ned: Sansa's father, who was booted as the head of his own company thanks to some shady business between Cersei and Tywin that the Starks can't prove yet. He now lives the relaxed life of a retired househusband in the Stark estate in Winterfell England while Robb and Caitlyn handle the company. Ned mostly spends his time playing golf with Jon Arryn and Arthur Dayne. Occasionally annoying Tywin and dropping by unannounced in the lives of his children 

Catelyn: Sansa's mother, CEO of Winterfell industries, starred in her own season of Undercover Boss and is currently being scouted by Westeros Productions to man up the revival of 'Boss Apprentice'. She used to be Ned's ornamental housewife until he abdicated his position in the company and now she's basically living her best life

Bran: Teenage influencer, recently graduated from highschool. Ages ago during a celebrity wedding he was forced to attend, he stumbled on Jamie and Cersei having a fight over who Joffrey's real father was. It had been raining, the ground was wet, Jamie and Cersei scared him and he slipped down a flight of stairs leaving him severely impaired in the legs for a year. It was an accident, Bran forgave Jamie, but Caitlyn did not.. Ever since then he decided life is too short so he posts everything he hears and sees in social media. And starts shit up just because he can. 

Bronn: Tyrion's bodyguard. he has a million side hustles on the side and the camera crew likes to spend at least 10 min of each TRS&T episode following him around in his quest to make easy money and buy his dream mansion

Stannis: Supreme Court Judge, Gendry's uncle, who is embarrassed to admit he shares blood ties with Robert. Will appear on TV every once in a while on criminal justice programs as a guest speaker. His daughter Shireen is an influencer.

Tywin: Tyrion’s father, Oil magnate and terrible parent, has a habit of appearing on the news everytime he dodges a lawsuit for bad business practices and capitalist exploitations. His lawyers are very good. Owns his own film company and is constantly trying to bribe Jamie into working for him. Tyrion unionized all his actors some years ago and now he’s not allowed near LannisFilm 

Currently known (to me) members of my TRS&T Production team: Varys Enoch: Co-Director from hell #1 ( I know I said he was a producer, sorry, that was a typo) Petyr Baelish: Co-Director from hell #2 Tycho Nestoris (that guy we never liked from the Iron Bank): Producer From hell Sandor Clegane: Filming crew director / favorite cameraman from hell Ros Harlow: head of hair and Makeup Olyvar: Makeup artist #1 Marei : Makeup artist #2 Daisy: Makeup artist #3

if you’re interested in seeing the rest of my The real Sansa and Tyrion series, just look for the #trs&t tag in my blog

[plut00nline]

Fuck it im doing it

My 2020 top 20 movie list

(Disclaimer that most of these weren't made in 2020 but I just watched them this year. These aren't also really in a very particular order but they are lowkey ranked) (i also had to be choosey with the images i out cause of the limit, but yeah dont mind that)

20. The perfection

The plot twist in this movie is *chefs kiss* there was no way for me to predict the ending, bug as far as thrillers goes, it is brilliant. And also, lesbians. It can be a pretty triggering movie for ab*se and general gore, but really I love the pacing and the thrill of it.

19. The shining

Ah yes, a classic horror, and though I may feel iffy about Stanley Kubrick, this movie was pretty good. But I am saying this as a person that didn't read the book. The blood rushing down the hallway was really my favourite visual on the movie. It was a movie that made me felt genuinely scared while watching it, like hiding behind my blanket but also sweating scared, the suspense was pretty thrilling though

18. Doctor Sleep

Man do I love Danny Torrance, and Abra, fuck I love them both. Again, I never read the book, but my ignorance keeps me in bliss. The visuals of this movie are also great, and the emotions this movie puts through? I'm just glad headcanons exist, but really I did enjoy this movie even if it wasn't what I was expecting.

17. Birds of prey

Harley deserved a movie, and the fact that it was directed by a woman makes me love it so much more because we just got to see harley doing the things that she fucking wanted. This movie is wlw solidarity, from Margot robbie to Mary Elizabeth Winstead, women with crossbows? Sign me the fuck up. And from all the DC films I've seen, it's so much brighter, in the visual sense, there's colour! There's character! And not everyone is just brooding in darkness, its the type of movie that would make me actually watch and enjoy DC films.

16. Charlie's angels

Firstly, lesbians. Thank you. But really, its a good action comedy and really I'll jump at the chance to see women kick ass.

15. My octopus teacher

I've never cried over an octopus before, so that was an experience. And even though this is technically not a movie, I still wanted to put it on here cause it was really just a great documentary, especially since it happened in my home country and im very oddly proud of that fact.

14. Knives out

Murder mystery and chris evans go so well together. I have made a longer post, but to sum it up, like most of the movies on this list. The colours and the pacing and just the atmosphere of the movie was spectacular, and even though I couldve guessed the ending, I was still on the edge of my seat for most of it

13. Ready or not

I love this new wave of eat the rich media. Samara weaving is a great actor and I am in love with her and this whole movie. It really was something that I hadn't actually seen before and the fact that the whole curse thing at the end was true was really just wow. Along with eat the rich, I love the feral female energy lately, and the whole white clothing slowly but surely being covered in blood.

12. Geralds game

The line "youre only made of moonlight" lives in my head rent free. This movie, was really an experience and for a movie with only two people in it for the majority, it is really well done. I'll always feel iffy about a man writing a woman's experience (specifically) but I do love the way this movie went, yeah I hated the "Hand" scene, but I still enjoyed the after math of it.

11. The old gaurd

Again, more lesbians, what more could I ask for? The concept for this movie is brilliant, immortal mercenaries is the only trope I want from now on, and found family.

10. Parasite

Again with the eat the rich. This movie was mindblowing, and just, the imagery!! And im glad they didn't dub it in English cause fuck that, I enjoyed it perfectly with subtitles.

9. song of the sea

This movie, this movie! Is so precious and I had that song stuck in my head for days.the name Saoirse is also so oddly pleasing to hear. This story is so beautiful, the music is amazing and it makes me want to be a fae.

8. Scott pilgrim vs the world

This movie really did pass what my expectations for what I thought it was gonna be, the music was amazing, the transitions and editing style was *chefs kiss* and even though I felt like I was in a fever dream the whole time, it'd be a fever dream I'd gladly rewatch.

7. The imitation game

Thank you Alan Turing. This movie recked me, like emotionally, I was a mess when I was done with it, but damn was it good, like I really just felt something while watching it, I mean most.of the movies on this list did, but this one just really hit me in some way.

6. Klaus

At least there are still good Christmas movies being made. Actually, I was a mess for this one too, the second that child got that sleigh thing it was over for my emotions. The whole sirge of turning Santa into this big macho dude really is working out and that's how Santa should always be depicted. I could gush about the animation style of this movie all fucking day, I love it so much (and the shadows!!! Ahh the shadows!) It really is just incredible.

5. I'm thinking of ending things

Hey man, I knew this was gonna fuck me up just by looking at the trailer, but there was absolitley no way to prepare for whatever was about to happen. Even after watching it, I have no idea what happened. But I still found it great, I love movies that give me an existential crisis.

4. Spirited away

All I wanted to do, was eat everything in that movie, even if it would turn me into a pig, holy hells this movie is good. There was just this satisfying appeal to it that I can't quite put into words. Its beautiful like everything studio ghibli movie ever.

3. The Willoughbys

I never knew I needed a found family movie with a bunch of kids that were already family. I've made a longer post about this movie, and I dont think I could really say more, this movie is so fucking touching and I love the direction it went in plot wise.

2. Howl's moving castle

Again, I may not have understood wtf was going on, but I'll be damned if I didn't love every second of it. There is no doubt that this movie is stunning, and I really am a suckered for early 2000's 2d animation, because!!! Look at it!!! Studio Ghibli films always just floor me with how good they look. I really wanna read the book, because I would absolutley love to see a feral Sophie giving howl shit for crying over hair.

1. Us

This movie will always be my no. 1 it is amazing and I love everything jordan peele has done with his movies. Especially for it to have a full black cast, and those black people have darker skin than what is normally shown in media. The feral but also calculated nature of each character is beautiful and nothing can ever make me hate this movie

I hope you enjoyed this incoherent "review" of my favourite movies I watched in 2020, its been a shit show and movies really have been a place of comfort for me. But stay safe and happy new year!

[stealingyourbones]

Keeping these tags here for preservation because holy sHIT this is positively incredible

Short DPXDC Prompts #244

Dash as a Lex Goon

[teawithshruti]

How did I keep myself sane amidst a pandemic - My thoughts on books, anime, and restaurants.

Yet another review of The Shining

A plot so well written you would want to go in room 217

Hi there! This blog comes to you from a bored 19 year old who has a knack for reading crime thrillers, watching murder documentaries, and loves watching MasterChef just to see Gordon Ramsay. LOL. And did I mention that she also happens to be a Stephen King fan, because who isn’t? So here is where I try and convince you that The Shining  is the best book ever written and how Stanley Kubrick completely butchered the screenplay, as well as why pasta is life.

Welcome to the Rockies!

The story takes place in the town of Boulder, Colorado, where our main protagonist Jack Torrance gets a job as a caretaker of the famous Overlook Hotel. Winters in Boulder are harsh, and the hotel remains closed as travel is not permitted with all the heavy snowfall. Now Jack is a recovering alcoholic with anger issues which led to him breaking his son’s arm prior to where the story begins. This made Wendy, his wife, question her marriage and the safety of their five year old son,  Danny. Danny on the other hand isn’t your average five year old who just watches cartoons and plays with toys. He is aglow with a psychic voltage, and has frequent blackouts. In the words of old Mr Hallorann, the hotel’s head chef, Danny’s a shiner. When the Torrances meet Mr Hallorann, he feels an instant connection with Danny. He warns Jack about the hotel and its sinister secrets and how the previous caretaker, Delbert Grady, killed himself and his family. But Jack is sure that this huge and lonely hotel with its splendid views is just what he needs in order to earn back his family’s trust. But going to a haunted hotel with a troubled marriage and a psychic son? Maybe not the best idea. But in his defense, Jack doesn't believe in ghosts. Little does he know that’s about to change.

Snowbound at The Overlook

The Torrance's begin settling in the Overlook. But as winter closes in and the blizzards cut them off from the outer world, the hotel seems to develop a life of its own. Meanwhile, Jack starts growing restless, craving for a friendly drink with each passing day. He also starts experiencing hallucinations, and wonders if they are withdrawal symptoms. Danny on the other hand is experiencing his own share of ghostly sightings, like the terrifying lady in the bathtub of room 217 who seems to have never checked out of the hotel. In one instance, he witnesses her climbing out of the clawfoot tub and advancing towards him with her bloated belly and dry hair as he stands frozen in fear in a blood covered presidential suite. This narrative by King with all its details is the truly the most spine tingling I’ve ever read.  Later when Danny’s parents find him in the room, a thumb in his mouth, that is when Wendy truly realizes that they are not alone in that strange big hotel. Jack goes and sees the tub for himself, but the lady from before doesn't want to greet him. Wendy, in tears, sees that both her husband and her son are being tormented by this place and begs Jack to quit the job. Danny later calms his mom down, who is weeping uncontrollably, by telling her not to worry as his daddy doesn't have the shining, so there is nothing to worry about.

Have you never heard of REDRUM?

Sure you have. Read it backwards.  Yes, you got it right. And so did Danny after seeing this word in his visions countless times. It so turns out that Danny is much stronger than he looks and after failing to possess him, The Overlook has turned to an easier target - Jack. As Jack slowly starts to lose his mind, he gives in and starts drinking again from the bar in the ballroom. His hallucinations keep getting worse to the point he actually sees Mr Grady, the previous caretaker / murderer,  and even has a talk with him. Danny sees his changing behavior and so does his wife, who just doesn't see the man she fell in love with in his cold, distant eyes anymore. With everything going on, Wendy takes Danny to their apartment in the employee wing of the hotel and locks them inside in fear of Jack, who is slowly slipping away from reality. But turns out this move from her proves to be disastrous, as Wendy keeping Jack away from his own son is the last straw for him. In one of his many hallucinations, Jack  meets his predecessor,  his buddy Mr. Grady and the two have a disturbing conversation about how fun it is to kill your wife. Yes , no one trumps King when it comes to the unique combination of horror and psychological thrillers packed into one nail-biting plot!

In other words...

The only thing I liked about the movie was Jack Nicholson’s excellent acting. Apart from that Stanley Kubrick let go of many crucial parts which were essential to the story. He eliminated the hedge sequence in the book, which was terrifying to just read. The ending was just a complete mess.  I get that you can’t exactly get all the details right of a 500 page book, but at least do justice to the ones you have chosen. Anyways I’m gonna go sulk in my room over this. Bye

.  

Is it too late to start Anime?

Hi there! Good to have you back! Ever since pandemic began, everyone’s been locked in their own house. So this led to me taking up a few hobbies like sketching and painting and binging on a whole lot of sitcoms.. My personal favorite is the alluring world of Anime. Several of my friends began watching it and I cannot exactly term it as peer pressure, but I did give in and start watching Anime too. And now my watchlist includes just a bunch of 2D characters with powers that even Superman himself can't fight. So this is my take on how a kryptonian can be defeated with Jutsu, as Mr Naruto would say. Lol. This one is for all the weebs out there. 

Manga and Anime are not the same!

To put it simply, manga is a Japanese term for comics and graphic novels, whereas Anime is the term for Japanese animations.. There are many similarities  between them, as they both have been created by Osama Tezuka, who is considered as the Japanese version of Walt Disney. Now have you ever seen a simple comic book? The one with black and white newspaper illustrations - like Garfield. Manga is just like that -  A book of illustrations. Now we arrive at the perennial question - Manga or Anime, which is better. Both of them are equally interesting, but I personally have a soft spot for anime. The intro theme songs, intense background music, and the beat dropping right before a big fight move, all these factors pack a punch. You don’t get that adrenaline rush from just a book.

My first anime - Demon Slayer

The story begins with the main character Tanjiro, who returns home after selling charcoal in town to find his entire family murdered by demons. Pretty intense right? His sister, Nezuko, survives but there’s a twist - she turns into a demon herself.  This makes him vow to take revenge and he sets off to train with Sakonji, who has trained many of the elite members of the Demon Slayer Corps. After many years of training and a painful exam called the final selection, Tanjiro finally becomes a demon slayer and is off on missions along with his sister, who unlike most demons doesn’t consume human flesh. On his missions he meets Zenitsu and Inosuke, who both have excellent powers of their own. My favorite story arc was when the highest ranking slayers, known as the pillars, were introduced. But my words won’t do justice to their powers they possess. So simply get your geek on by watching this short yet amazing series.

The Tale of Naruto Uzumaki

The hidden leaf village is not so hidden anymore! The series I am currently watching is one of the most popular anime from 2020 - Naruto.   The story is set around the shinobi villages and their ninjas and how Naruto Uzumaki plans on being the next Hokage [the most powerful shinobi] of the leaf village. He is trained by some of the best ninjas the village has ever seen. Before graduating from the academy, he was a hyperactive boy with lots of energy who just wanted to be the best. After graduation, he was placed in team seven, along with Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. This team was trained by Kakashi Sensei who is known for wielding his Chidori and even the Sharingan. The sharingan, to put it simply, is a trait passed down in families. The Uchihas are known for their sharingans and hence it naturally comes to Sasuke as well. The mystery still remains unsolved as to how Kakashi got his sharingan, as he is not an Uchiha. But Naruto does have a super power as well. Not technically his powers per se,  but we can cut him some slack. After all it's not everyday you get to see a beast like the nine tailed fox sealed away in an 11 year old boy. In my opinion the story picks up Orochimaru’s entry, and it paves the way for Sasuke’s powers in the future. My favorite character has to be Sasuke Uchiha. With his effortless fighting skills and sarcastic yet cool personality, he definitely is an excellent shinobi. You have to start this show right away because once you have seen him use his fire style fireball jutsu.....the world just doesn't look the same anymore.

In other words...

My current watchlist includes Naruto Shippuden, Black Clover, One Piece, and a few other naruto spin offs. Anime was something I never thought I would like, but now as it turns out I can't get enough of it. So bye for now, if you need me I'll be at Ichiraku’s eating ramen with barbeque pork. And if you get this reference, have a bowl of ramen on me. K bye.

Home in a faraway land

Good to see you again ! Do you ever get that feeling of an intense craving for your favourite dish? Like say pasta or pizza? My favorite is pasta, but being raised in India, I can’t say no to a classic plate of butter naan and chicken tikka with a glass of buttermilk or chaas if you please. Of Course you can’t beat the taste of a home cooked meal, but let me tell you about the time I went to this amazing little Indian restaurant in Dubai with my family, and how the food there was absolutely heavenly. 

Out and About in Dubai

Skyscrapers, Sleepless nights, Gold Souks and gigantic malls - these are the visions  you'd usually get when someone mentions Dubai. Well, they're mostly right! I went there with my family about 5 years ago. We stayed at the Ramada, which was right next to the Dubai Mall.  The mall happens to be strategically placed next to the Burj Khalifa and we got lucky enough to see mesmerizing musical fountain shows night after night. The streets are spick and span, and everyone follows the traffic regulations dutifully. We also went for the desert safari, which was no less than an actual roller coaster ride. We also visited the Gold Souk, and oh boy. The name definitely fulfills its purpose, as the entire street is occupied entirely by gold stores. Huge gold ornaments are on display like clothes on hangers. I personally don’t have a thing for gold jewellery, but my mom had the time of her life there fawning and gasping over every store we came across. Shortly after our visit here, we came across this beautiful little Indian restaurant, and you can call me old school but at the end of the day, this girl needs a desi meal, because trust me room service gets boring after a while.

Peshwa - Not your typical 5 star restaurant 

Situated away from the hustle of the main city, this place still remains quite underrated. We stumbled across this hidden gem which saved us the efforts of getting back to the hotel for an overpriced lunch. As soon as we entered the restaurant, we could smell the aroma of a classic dal makhani  [ a simple gravy consisting of lentils infused with aromatic spices and hints of burnt chillies ] in the air. So we got a table and had a look at the menu and it was almost like being back home. The endless variety of gravies with paneer in almost every single one of them, to at least 6 different types of rotis, a little piece of heaven in this concrete jungle! We went ahead and ordered a simple meal of rotis and some paneer delicacy, along with dal and rice. Apart from the taste of the food, which was just heavenly, the overall ambience of the place in one word, was exquisite. The restaurant lived up to its very ethnic maharashtrian name. The food was served in those traditional style cutlery, reminding us of a simpler time.

A dish you just can’t miss 

If you have a sweet tooth like me, you definitely have to try the coconut barfi from this place. Made from desiccated coconuts, sweetened condensed milk, a finely ground cardamom, and a hint of saffron, this dish is a match made in heaven. It was freshly made and we could tell it by the intoxicating aroma of pure ghee [clarified butter]. So just for a day, give yourself a break from watching calories and try this mouth watering dish because here’s something to live for.

In other words…

The next time I’m in Dubai, the first thing I will do is find out if the restaurant is still there. And probably avoid the Gold Souk this time. I will most certainly go for the desert safari, because it’s not everyday you get defy gravity and drive through the sand dunes like in a Fast and Furious movie. Lol.  Also thanks for bearing with me throughout this blog. See ya!

[mayflyarchived]

5 and 20 please

Oooh. These are good ones.

5. "Favorite Overused Trope": I'm not sure if they are 'overused' technically, but my two favorite tropes are the 'My God, What Have I Done' and the 'Good is not Soft' tropes.

The My God What Have I Done, when done right, can hit you square in the feels and create a flawed creature out of a character that in any other story, would have been the paragon hero, if only they kept themselves in check, or hadn't lashed out at someone they cared for, or anything else that could happen in story. The dawning horror and sorrow the central character feels when they see first hand the consequences of their wrongdoings, after being told again and again that they are the hero? *mwah* Chef's Kiss.

The Good is Not Soft is a favorite because, again if done right, you have a character who for all extents and purposes is a good hearted person, but is absolutely no pushover. They don't have to be mean or stoic to a fault, but you can always tell that there is a very stern "Do Not Test Me" air about them which makes it interesting when something does test them. I just like seeing characters under pressure.

20. "Name a song that strongly reminds you of a Fandom/Character"

That's actually a tough one honestly. A lot of the songs that I love and associate with any given fandom/character usual come from that fandom already (The Character Songs from Obey Me's voice cast for an example). If anything, there are songs that remind me of alternative takes on characters as opposed to characters outright. Like the Vocaloid song 'Bacterial Contamination' by Deino reminds me of a far darker take on the main premise behind the show Danny Phantom for an example, or another vocaloid song, this time 'O Light' by Kikuo distinctly reminds me of Belphie of Obey Me, mostly for the imagery that the lyrics invoke. For a song that isn't a Vocaloid song that reminds me of something, that would be 'Memory of the Lost' from Go Shiina's work on the Code Vein soundtrack. It invokes the same sort of feelings that the song 'The Most Beloved' from Obey Me's soundtrack does. It basically is a beautiful song that gives me plenty of angsty theories to ponder.

[thecastcompany]

April 11th at Worlds End Tavern Join the Cast Company for a Bunnytastic Event! at 6:00pm WRA - 9:00pm WRA // 8:00pm MG to 11:00pm MG

There will be drinks, finger foods and a show like no other! Also you can get a date with one of the Cast Company Bunnies! Look below! Remember if you want to Bid on one of the many Cast Company Bunnies! Here is the form! You will win a real date with one of the Cast Company Bunnies, to roleplay at a community event, Darkmoon Faire or whatever you plan together.

REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT BUYING SEX OR LOVE, THIS A FRIENDSHIP DATE.

Bid Form: https://tinyurl.com/BunnyBiddieForm

Meet some of the Bunnies up for grabs!

“I am Zaneryne Grimsky, Company Head of the Cast Company, but everyone around here knows me as Zanie or Zane. I am a singer and dancer, most folks know me for being a contortist and yeah, oh and then there is magic. That sums me up right? Bending weird, singing pretty, and pew pew if ice." Date Location: The Squeaky Wheel, The Darkmoon Faire, Howling Owl/ Blackbird Brewery opening Five Random Facts about Zane: 1. Loves to play the piano 2. Caramel cogs are her favorite cookies 3. Huge Fashionista 4. Is a relic hunter 5. In college was archeology with the speciality of troll history

Keep reading to meet the other bunnies!

“Huh wha? I wasnt paying attention....oh who am I? Danny....yeah Danny Brand.” Date Location: Somewhere we can punch things Five Random Facts about Danny: 1.  He is the chef at Cuties   2.  He is a father to a cute 2 year Master Monk in training   3.  His wife has almost killed him five times   (six if she ever reads this) 4.  He is a former Blood Ring Champion   5.  He has replaced his hat 204 times, people keep stealing it off his head.

“Hey sexy, I'm Ilanda want to have a drink?” Date Location: Cuties or Darkmoon Faire Five Random Facts about Ilanda: 1. She enjoys bad jokes 2. She is very open minded 3. She loves whiskey 4. She is a bard and loves music 5. She is a chronic lap sitter, beware of your lap she will sit in it.

"Hrm. I am Rak'kaba, third tier Solar Priest formerly of the Spire. You may compliment me through out the night, yes?" Date Location: Shattrath City, Scryer's Tier Five Random Facts about Rak’kaba 1. In a relationship with a cursed Arakkoa 2. Has killed all of their nest siblings, each one died a different way by their hand. 3. Their cloak is made from the finest threads, hand-stitched by yours truly. 4. Wears a jeweled head-piece, it's paired with a purple feather. 5. Compliment or Rak'kaba will be very sad!

“Hi guys! Its me Jam!” Date Location: Orcramar or Darkmoon Faire Five Random Facts about Jam: 1. He cannot read 2. He is the self proclaimed Vulpera Loa 3. He is the biggest 4. Ji Firepaw is his hero 5. He shot a turtle to steal its shell and made it into a house

“"Hey there! I'm Lin'Aryne, but you can call me Bunny. I like to think of myself as an artist of all trades with specialties in music and tailoring." Location of the Date: Darkmoon Faire Five random and silly facts about your character: 1) Her favorite instrument is the harp, specifically her own that's been enchanted to provide sounds of other instruments for a one-woman show. 2) She has two critters she calls 'floofers', Fig and Newt, that she treats like her babies. Sweaters, painted nails, the whole nine yards. 3) The dog tags she wears are a hyper compressed series of programs like trackers and radio made by her boyfriend specifically for her. 4) She's recently become the head curator / host for the Ice Brawl Tournament! 5) She's the Winter Champion of the Fire & Ice Arena.

"Uh, hi! I'm Loralani, but...just Lora is fine...only my brother calls me by my full name. Uh, anyway, I'm a monk...in training. I'm still learning a lot! I also sing! Sorta...I don't usually sing for anyone but myself, maybe someday I'll do it in front of people! I'm also pretty good with my little wooden flute! I'm learning other instruments too! Anyway...that's Lora in a nutshell!" Location of 'date': Cuties! Five Random and silly facts about Lora 1. I play music, I love music and it's really important to me! 2. I'm also obsessed with pineapples and oranges, those didn't exist in Vol'dun 3. .I really love making tea too, I try to share with everyone, tea makes things better! 4. I also can run REALLY FAST! 5. I've also taken several large chunks of Orgrimmar's cliffs near that lake...my brother like to test what I can do with my niki, so...my jade lightning has taken out a lot of that cliff face...

“Hi I am Ty.” Date Location: Cuties or Dark Moon Faire Facts about Tyinarcon 1.Loves coffee and ducks more than most things. 2. He is a motorcycle enthusiast 3. Was a combat medic in the military after all four wars but prefers not to call on the light for reasons 4. He can sing and play the guitar 5. Loves to cook and try new recipes

“Hello there Cutie! I am Dyllie! But everyone calls me Cookie on the count of smelling like cookies, eating a bunch of cookies, feeding people cookies and selling cookies.” Location of Date: Picnic of only Cookies and or the Squeaky Wheel 5 Facts about Dyllie 1. She got kicked out of mage school for polymorphing Khadgar into a broom. 2. She thinks murlocs are friends. 3. She eats 200 cookies a day! 4. She has a Tauren son, who she adopted when she found a basket in the river with a baby in it. 5. She never says peoples name right that she knows really well, she has terrible hearing

Seven’estra 5 Facts about Seven 1.  Seven is Non-Binary 2.  They love hanging out in graveyards due to technically being dead. 3.  Seven is cold to the touch. 4.  Mercenary by day, beautician and cosmetologist by night.  They will swing a sword ending your life.Then they will do your hair and make up for your funeral! 5.  When super excited void tentacles will sprout from their back!

@wowrpevents​ @wracentral​

[moreroads]

HEY OP I FUCKING LOVE THE LIGHTING

redraw of this drawing from January bc I need good things in life rn

[danny-williams]

in sickness and in health

set immediately after s8.6, because i think Danny being worried about Steve’s health is literally the most married thing ever

1. change his diet

It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t happen overnight because Danny knows that it can’t happen overnight - otherwise Steve will notice and all of his efforts into our sneaking the SuperSEAL will go to waste because he and Steve will fight, and Chloe made it very clear that he and Steve fighting was not good for Steve’s health.

Even if it significantly improved Danny’s mood everytime he got Steve riled up. His serotonin levels could take a hit for a bit (he’d just finagle more time with Charlie from Rachel).

It takes a lot of back and forth, and a promise to let Kamekona buy into their restaurant (currently un-named because he refused to have an italian joint named Steve’s) but Kamekona finally agrees to reduce the amount of butter he puts on his shrimp.

“But only for Steve’s plate bruddah,” he says, a frown on his face, “I’m not changing my recipe for anybody else. This is prime shrimp you’re messing with here - I hope you know that. This shrimp won me awards.”

Danny grimaces, “Technically, Chef Morimoto sabotaging your competition won you that award, but we’ll go with your version of things. As long as you keep this from Steve. I do not need him knowing that I’m messing with his food.”

“You got it bruddah.”

Everything else after that is slightly easier. Even with Junior home, Steve still comes over to Danny’s a lot - so Danny starts shopping smarter; buying low fat food and including more greens in his diet.

The jersey in him is crying, weeping for some good grease - the kind that slithers off the meat and onto your fingers, but he reminds himself it’s for a good cause. Besides, it’s not like he isn’t still eating good food - he’s just eating it less.

That’s not a terrible thing.

2. to do list 

He’s in his office, finishing up the last reports of the drug bust they made earlier that day - when there’s a sharp rap on his door. Danny looks up to see Steve standing on the other side, clutching a piece of paper in his hand.

He waves him in, and Steve slams the paper against his desk. “What are you, some sort of caveman? Did they not teach you how to politely put things down in the Army -”

“ - Navy - “

“Why do you gotta,” he gestures at the paper, “now my ink is all smudged.”

Steve ignores him, which is par for the course at this time, “What is this?”

Danny looks at the paper, and then back at Steve, “What do you mean, what is this? How should I know? You’re the one that brought it in.”

Steve points at the paper aggressively, “Look at it, and explain to me what it is.”

He smoothens out the paper, “It’s looks like a to-do list. Are you getting old babe? Do we need to take you to an eye specialist, maybe get you fitted for some glasses? Reading goggles?”

“Danny I don’t need -” Steve cuts himself off, and honestly, Danny is really enjoying how worked up Steve is about this whole thing, “I mean, what is it doing on my desk?”

Danny bites his lips, spreading his hands out wide, “I don’t know maybe you uhh, maybe you decided that you needed to make a list, make sure you know everything you had to do for today. Did you hit your head or something during our drug bust today? Maybe get a concussion - lose a couple of braincells?”

“I didn’t write this Danno,” Steve says in a frustrated tone, “Lou sure as hell didn’t write it, Tani’s too new to even think of pulling something like this - and we both know Jerry doesn’t have the balls for this kind of thing. That just leaves you. So I’m gonna ask you again, what is this doing on my desk?”

“Okay look, we’ve both been really busy with the restaurant right?”

“Steve’s.”

“No, not Steve’s because I’m still undecided on the name - but the point is, we’ve both been busy. So I thought you might you know, benefit from having a list of things that we had to do for it. So that you could plan your day better.”

Steve opens his mouth and shuts it again, furrowing his brows at Danny. 

“And that’s all this is? Making sure I keep up to date with the restaurant?”

“That’s all it is babe.”

“You’re up to something,” Steve grabs the paper, pointing a finger at Danny accusingly, “I don’t know what you’re up to - but you’re up to something.”

“Just making sure our restaurant doesn’t fail!” Danny calls after him, but waits until he’s out of sight to pull open his drawer and pull out the pile of unfinished to-do lists.

He’s going to have to be sneakier about them this time.

3. less bickering

Danny ponders over this one for a while, mainly because Steve expressly told him not to change. It would defeat the whole purpose of sneakily managing Steve’s stress if he notices, so Danny’s careful about it.

Mostly because after her day with Steve, Chloe pulled Danny aside and gave him enough of a scare to last him ten lifetimes.

“Look,” she’d said, “I don’t mean to tell you how to manage your relationship with your partner. From what I hear, you guys have been together for close to seven years, and I’m sure you worked out some sort of rhythm. But from what I can see Detective, you fight him on everything.”

“What do you mean I fight him on everything, I,I, I let him drive my car, I let him eat at my house, he even sleeps at my house on occasion - and what do I get for it? I get shot at and almost killed three times before lunch.”

“You guys don’t have an easy job, I agree. But I don’t imagine that for the Commander, someone who’s come from the Navy and is used to absolute obedience, that it’s easy when you question even his smallest actions.”

She had a point, which is Danny is now trying to figure out how to organically stop fighting with a man he literally punched just hours after they met.

“Okay here’s what’s going to happen,” Steve says, just as they pull up at the suspect’s house. They’re chasing the kidnapper of a twelve year old girl, so everybody’s a bit ramped up, especially Danny. He hates cases with kids. It makes it easier to take a backseat and give up control to Steve on this one.

“I’m going go through the front door,” he gestures with his hands, “Lou, Danny - I want you to get the back. Tani? I want you out here, in case our perp tries to make a run for it?”

Danny has to physically swallow back the words on the tip of his tongue, because asking Steve if they should wait for back-up would be questioning his actions - and Chloe said that was bad for his health.

Steve gives him a look, like he knows that’s something’s wrong - but before he can say anything there’s shot fired inside the house and everything goes to shit. 

Danny and Lou turn the corner as quick as possible, just in time to see someone run outside the back entrance and jump across the fence.

“Lou, get back to the truck, see if you can cut him off like that,” Steve jumps after him, panting into his ear-piece, “Danny?”

“Right behind you buddy,” he says, even as he aims and shoots at the two guys who wander out behind their perp, clearly looking for him, “our friend over here had company over.”

Thankfully, there doesn’t appear to be anyone else coming out of the house, and when Danny makes his way in - 12 year old Danielle Rodriguez is tied to the radiator, shivering despite the constant sweltering heat that is the fine island of Hawaii.

“Hey hey,” he swings his gun behind his back and lifts his hands up, “my name is Detective Danny Williams okay? I’m with Five-0. I’m one of the good guys. Now how about I get you out of this and back to your parents?”

Later, when they’re back at HQ and Danielle has been reunited with her teary-eyed parents - Lou mutters to Danny, “so how come you didn’t ask Steve to wait for back-up?”

“I’m trying something new.”

4. well bred social behaviour

“Danny!” The door swings open, even though Danny is fairly certain that he locked in, but he doesn’t reach for his gun, because there’s only one person on this entire island who walks into his house like they own it.

“In here!” he calls out, and sure enough, Steve walks in a couple seconds later with coffee and a brown bag.

“Are those malasadas?” he asks, reaching out for the coffee in one hand, looking up briefly from floor plans to ensure that there’s contact between his palm and the coffee cup, “Did you bring me malasadas?”

“No I bought myself malasadas, but since I’m generous I’ll give you one or two.”

“What’s this?” he asks over a mouthful of malasada, peering over his shoulder and Danny bats at him because he’s dripping sugar all over the plans, “Is this Steve’s?”

“For the last time, we’re not calling the restaurant Steve’s I don’t know how many times I have to go through this with you. But yes, to answer your question, these are the tentative plans that our interior decorator drew up for the restaurant.”

“Interior decorator?” his voice comes out all muffled, and Danny sends him a withering look, “You’re disgusting you know that? Can you finish chewing before you talk? Please? Is that too much to ask for?”

Steve swallows obnoxiously, and grins at Danny. He’s got cream on the edge of his mouth, and it should disgust Danny - instead he’s thinking about leaning up and licking it off.

“Thank you, for the coffee by the way,” he says instead, “I appreciate it. That was a nice thing to do.”

“You’re welcome,” Steve replies, and Danny can hear the surprise in his tone, but he resolutely ignores it - instead pulling Steve into a conversation about the booths.

5. sex

There’s probably a code of conduct somewhere, Danny muses, that involves something about not having your ex-girlfriend spy on your partner. Well, spying might be a bit extreme.

He and Melissa split months ago, because it was clear after two disasterdly Valentine’s Days, that it just wasn’t working between them. Her exact words were, and he quotes, “You’re never going to love me the way I love you. Not when Steve occupies all the real estate in your heart.”

She wasn’t wrong, was the thing, and after they’d gotten past the initial awkwardness that the fact that Danny was in love with someone that wasn’t her - they actually fell into a good friendship. 

It helped that Melissa didn’t know a lot of people in Oahu except Danny, and that their relationship had been a lot like a friendship in the first place. Except with more sex.

Like a lot more sex.

Honestly, given that Steve was the reason they broke up, Melissa was surprisingly gamely when Danny asked her to stay in touch with Lynn, and let him know how things were going with her and Steve.

(He thinks it’s pity, but he doesn’t actually ask because then she might actually answer)

“They broke up,” Melissa says with little fanfare, over their weekly coffee, “Lynn won’t tell me much. But they split about a week ago. Guess she got tired of waiting around for him too.”

It might also be the fact that Melissa is convinced that Steve is just as much in love with Danny as Danny is with him, nevermind the fact that Steve has never showed interest.

“What do you mean they broke up?”

“I mean they’re over. Ended things. Done.”

“Huh,” Danny says, over his coffee, trying to figure out the best way to convince Steve to let Danny take him out for a guy’s night to get over Lynn without revealing how he knows that Steve needs a guy’s night to get over Lynn.

In the end, he doesn’t even have to be all that sneaky about it, because Steve comes to him - asks him out for drinks; so all Danny really has to do is play the dutiful wingman.

“I’m sorry about you and Lynn,” he yells over the music, after the alcohol has sufficiently loosened his tongue, “you guys were good together.”

“It was never going to work out,” Steve yells back, and gives Danny a significant look, “bit like you and Melissa.”

“How do you - how do you know about that?”

“What you think that you and Melissa are the only ones who engage in pillow talk? Lynn talks too, on occasion. When we weren’t you know, busy with other stuff.”

“Other stuff?” Danny chuckles, “Is that what we’re calling it now? You can say sex Steve. This must, must put a damper on your whole two or three days a week thing. Oh wait no sorry, how many days did you say it was? Five?”

“I’ll have you know,” Steve says, staggering on his feet as he and Danny stumble outside the bar, “that me and Lynn had a lot of problems. But sex wasn’t one of them.”

“Well -” he furrows his brows, and stops suddenly, pulling Danny close to him, “Sex might’ve been one of them.”

“What happened? You need tips in bed? Smooth dog?”

“I am very good in bed!” Steve says, affronted, “It was not my skill that was the issue here.”

“Then what was it? No come on don’t clamp up on me now, I have to hear this. What was the issue?”

Steve turns bright red, “I might’ve - I might’ve said the wrong name in bed, a couple of times.”

“Babe, you are unbeatable. No really, you are. First you, you leave the engagement ring that you were going to give Catherine just lying around - then you take off with Catherine in the middle of a romantic dinner, and now you’re yelling her name in bed? Buddy I’m surprised she didn’t break up with you sooner.”

Steve’s giving him this look, like he can’t for the life of him understand what Danny’s saying. “No it wasn’t Catherine why would you think it’s Catherine. No it was - “

And that’s about as far as Steve gets, because a second later, he’s retching their dinner all over the side of the road.

//

+ 1: love him

They’re all out on his lanai: Danny, Tani, Junior, Kamekona, even Duke’s made it out - and Steve’s got the grill set up just a couple feet away from the chairs. Half his attention is on the grill, the other half is on Danny - the way he’s stretched out on the old chair; loosened from the beer he’s been nursing, and smiling at something Tani said.

“Keep an eye on that meat,” Lou says, startling Steve, “I don’t want my dinner burning.”

“I’m not gonna burn your dinner Lou jeez, have a little faith. When have I ever burnt your dinner before?”

Lou looks over at Danny, and back at Steve with raised eyebrows, “you’re a bit distracted today. Forgive me if I’m cautious.”

“He thinks I don’t know what he’s doing,” Steve says in lieu of a response, “but I found his list the other day. All the things that stress management specialist said, Chloe or whatever her name is - he’s got it all written down. He’s driving himself crazy, worrying about this thing.”

“Have you ever stopped to consider why he’s so worried?”

Steve turns to Lou with a frown, “it’s not that hard to put together Lou. He’s worried about my health. I get it, I am too - but I’m not running myself into the ground thinking about it day and night.”

“Look man, I’ve been with you guys for a couple of years now, and let me tell you something about Danny. Now I’m not pointing fingers or any of that, but I’ve seen that man care about a lot of things - but nothing the way he cares about you Steve.”

Steve opens his mouth to reply, but Lou just holds up his hand, “you didn’t see him Steve. The day you got shot? The day you almost died? You didn’t see him that day.”

“Danny was - he had broken ribs, and scratches all over his face. They told him to land the plane in the water did he tell you that?”

Steve shakes his head silently.

“The people in Air Control or whatever you want to call them, they told Danny that his best chance at survival was landing the plane in the water, swimming to shore. But he knew that landing the plane in the water meant that you might die, and it wasn’t a chance he was willing to take. He didn’t even stick around long enough to watch you get taken in for surgery, he was already on his way out looking for the sons of bitches that shot you up.”

“And I’ve never seen anything like it Steve, I’m telling you - I didn’t know he was capable of that kind of violence. There was this one guy, their ring leader, who managed to limp his way over to the helicopter. When me and Kono got there, Danny was standing over him with his gun out, and he had this look on his face - I was worried if I stepped in, he might shoot him just to get to this guy.”

“And after all that was done, he marched right back into that hospital, barrelled right past all of us, and offered up his liver. There wasn’t even a second’s hesitation. Apparently he’d already had the blood-work drawn up, in case anything like this happened.”

Lou claps him on his shoulder, “I love you man, I do. But I don’t love you the way Danny does. I don’t think anybody does.”

“Would you -” he gestures at the steaks, “would you watch over the grill for me? Just for a bit. There’s something I gotta do.”

He doesn’t wait to hear Lou’s reply, just stalks over to Danny and grabs him by his elbow - hauling him up.

“Hey where are we - why’re we going inside, you Neanderthal I was in the middle of a conversation what’re you tugging me around for like I’m some sort of -”

The rest of Danny’s sentence gets lost against Steve’s lips, as Steve turns him around and braces him against the nearest vertical surface. His mouth is already open, which Steve uses to his advantage; pressing his full weight against Danny and licking into his mouth; memorising it with his tongue.

They break up with a wet sound, and when Steve opens his eyes, Danny’s pupils are blown black.

“What was that for?” Danny whispers between their lips, and Steve half smiles at him, “that was me saying thank you. I know what you’ve been doing, trying to manage my stress for me. This is me saying thank you.”

“Huh,” Danny slides a hand around his neck, squeezing, “Why don’t you run that thank you by me again one more time?”

Fin

[regrettablewritings]

How You Met AU: Rafael Barba

Lifted from this ship meme

He’s back again, you thought, staring at the sharply-dressed man sitting at the bar. Every so often, he took a sip from his glass of scotch, never looking up from the papers strewn about before him. He was nearing the end of his first glass after only ten minutes – that meant the case wasn’t going too well. You preferred not to think of it as stalking, seeing as you worked at Martelli’s and he frequented the place enough for you to recognize his tendencies, but you tried to give yourself some leeway by considering what you knew from the news: That ADA Rafael Barba, notorious for taking on difficult cases and nearly winning all of them, had become a participant in one such situation that was already proving to be one of the harder types. Of course, the news wasn’t the source that allowed you to acknowledge how attractive he was – you did that all on your own, watching at a distance. Or by managing to catch a quick glimpse of him whenever you came by to serve him, rare as that was. The news couldn’t tell you that his eyes were a shockingly lovely shade of green, or that his profile displayed a sharp, yet handsome nose. The news would never show you that if he was particularly deep in a case, he would remove the jacket of one of those snappy suits and strip his top layers until he was down to his shirt and suspenders (of which, you wanted nothing more than to snap). The news couldn’t show you the way those pretty eyes of his focused on his paperwork, scanning each and every word before those slender fingers of his would guide a pen across one section or another to circle a particular word or phrase. No, that was all on you.

You and your stalkerish tendencies, you thought bluntly. That earned a mental elbow to the brain, telling your own mind to shush itself. You watched as he placed his now empty scotch glass on the worn, wooden counter. He’d be wanting another, you knew. Which you know because you’re a creeper. You had half a mind to perform the mental elbowing again, had you not been distracted by the small, odd feeling of victory you felt when you saw him order yet another glass. Though part of you wondered if there’d even be enough room for the grilled tilapia he’d ordered. Speaking of which … “Hey, (L/N), you mind graciously taking time out of your nigh-daily creeping and actually helping out?” You whipped around, panic setting in. “Sssshhhh, you jackass!!” you hissed at your coworker. Daniel, the chef, huffed with bemusement. “Just statin’ the obvious,” he grunted. You made quick work of speed walking back into the main kitchen. “I know, but still!” you insisted. You pointed a thumb behind you, back where ADA Barba was. “But what if he heard you?!” Daniel shrugged. “Then I s’ppose I would’ve made one more move than you. Either way, not my problem. Order up: Grilled tilapia with a side of string beans.” He plopped a plate holding exactly that on the pickup shelf. Your hands twitched; it could only be for the man outside. Not a lot of people typically ate at this place at this time of night. “Uh … Danny? That’s Sylvia’s job; I just clean tables, ‘member?” “Sylvia called off. Said she had a migraine the side of an elephant’s ass.” “Bullshit, both to her saying that and to her actually having a migraine,” you rejected. You then scoffed, “She’s probably just hungover, call her again and tell her to stop trying to get other people to do her job for her.” “That may be,” Daniel admitted with a roll of his eyes. “But even if I did, she wouldn’t be here before that tilapia makes it to the table. Because you’re gonna give it to ‘em long before then. Now quit trying to throw me off, I got other crap to do.” You crossed your arms. “Nobody else even ordered, Daniel.” “All the more reason for you not to get sidetracked and to just give the guy his damn food before it gets cold.” He slapped the metal counter with his spatula to show that he meant business and wasn’t going to take any more of your dillydallying. Well, shit. You’d felt so confident (albeit irritated) when you’d first stormed over and snatched up the plate. It was all you could do to keep the platter leveled just enough to keep the string beans from flying off.

You’d felt so insistent in the beginning. You mentally scowled at yourself for being so juvenile. It was bad enough to partake in some weird and creepy double standard of gawking at a customer you found attractive from a distance; it simply rubbed dirt into the wound that you were letting that effect your ability to actually do your job properly – even if it technically wasn’t the exact position you’d been hired for. And what better way to prove yourself competent and clear-headed than to actually do the damn job without a speck of worry?

This had been your thought process as you strutted out the kitchen and through the threshold leading into the main dining area. But just as soon as they came, they evaporated. The sight of ADA Barba, hard at work with his pen scrawling along the papers, reminded you of the nerves you had. And suddenly, the plate felt heavy in your arm. It threatened to leap out of your hold and send itself shattering to the floor, directing everyone (what few there were)’s attention to you. Including ADA Barba, who would most definitely think something foul of you for not only startling him, but for ruining his meal.

No, you sternly told yourself. Not today, Plate-Satan… . Plate-an. You were going to suck it up, march over there, and do literally the easiest thing you could’ve done all night! … Aaaaany second now.

It was honestly part-miracle, part-actual will that you didn’t drop the meal as you neared its destination. But nearly nothing could stop you from nearly thudding the plate against the counter. Granted, it could’ve been your anxiety convincing you that you had all but smashed the dish down. But then … he turned. And you could no longer hear anything but the sound of your heart beating inside your skull. While this wasn’t the first time you’d seen them, this was certainly the first time those beautiful, beautiful eyes of his were focused on you. And they didn’t appear to be scowling at you as you thought they would, or even staring at you with perplexity over how obviously strange you were coming off as. You were lucky to consider that look as one of courtesy. But, of course, your infatuation told you to read far more into it than necessary. “D-dyouneedanythingelsesir?” you blarbed. You wished for nothing more than for a meteor to crash through the ceiling and strike you down in that moment. But alas, no such natural phenomena befell Martelli’s, nor you. It was probably for the better, however, as ADA Barba still seemed predominately unfazed. “No thank you. But I appreciate the offer,” he said. You gulped heavily.

“Good,” you practically gasped. You forgot when your fingers started to wring themselves nervously before your apron. “Pleaseenjoyyourmeal!”

You swore to yourself that you weren’t running, or that your footsteps weren’t stiff. But you knew that something about the way you retreated was abnormal, given how Daniel was smirking at you from the doorway leading back into the kitchen. You tried to pay him no mind as you made a beeline to a fridge. You placed your scorching face against the cool metal and groaned.

“Wooowwwww,” Daniel teased. “I haven’t seen moves so smooth since my middle school dance on the cusp of puberty.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you groused. “I thought you had shit to do anyway.”

“I did. It just so happened that watching you nearly crap yourself talking to that guy was on of ‘em.”

“Fuck you.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted him to do.”

++++++++

You didn’t watch him for the rest of the time he was there. You couldn’t bear to do so. You were beyond thankful when another coworker arrived for their shift, thereby freeing you from having to provide further contact with the object of your infatuation and cause of your humiliation.

… So why was Erica coming back to you and insisting that you go pick up the tip he’d left at his eating spot once he was ready to go?

“He insists that it’s because you were the first one to serve him,” she shrugged. Shit.

You tried not to think about how awkward you must’ve looked, glancing out from the back before actually making a move. He was gone, but sure enough some green paper money was visible. It was only as you neared it and removed the glass it had been sitting under that you recognized it as being a decently generous tip for a bar of all places.

Usually, to get a $20 tip, one might have to show a little skin, act a little flirtatious. You were pretty sure essentially vomiting up words and acting a fool wasn’t regular good cause for such a generous donation.

It was then that you noticed that the benevolent attorney had left you one last thing. There, also held in place by the scotch glass, was a napkin with writing on it. It was in red ink – the same red ink he’d been using to circle and underline on his notepad earlier.

You weren’t sure what possessed you to handle the tissue so gingerly, as though it were some great treasure instead of a completely disposable paper product. But what mattered more was how you handled it as you observed what was scrawled upon it in clean, swirling cursive:

I can’t imagine it’s any fun just *watching* somebody eat. Maybe next time you’d like to join me? – Rafael Barba You blinked once. Twice. You narrowed your eyes, scrunching your face inward as you brought the napkin closer and then away. But the message stayed the same.

This … This had to have been a joke, right? You glanced at the door, knowing what nonsense there was in assuming ADA – pardon, Rafael Barba would still be there. You were pleasantly and completely surprised to see that he was, in fact, just composing himself after placing his jacket back on and positioning his bag on his shoulder. Even from where you stood, you could see the lovely glint of his eyes. He smiled at you. Not a courteous one as a customer could to any member of the waitstaff – a kind, warm, sweet one, if a hint wobbly at the upturn. As if he were nervous. And then … a wink. The sound of your heart thundering in your ears and the subsequent blurring of your vision from the rush of blood made you miss the exact moment he departed, but the effect took its hold of you for quite some time after that. Even as you cleaned up and clocked out, your thoughts were stuck on that moment, the napkin, everything. Should you tell somebody? Who should you tell?

… Well, wasn’t that a silly question?

++++++++

Sonny Carisi glanced at his phone the moment he felt it vibrating in his pocket. He had been waiting on a message from Rollins, but he was happy enough to hear from you. You will not *BELIEVE* what just happened, dude, you’d messaged your friend. He couldn’t help but smirk. Unfortunately, it was noticed by somebody else. “Gee, I hope I wasn’t called here at last minute just to see some cat video or whatever,” Rafael Barba snarked as he waltzed into the precinct.

“Nah, I wish,” Sonny said, sliding the phone back into his pocket. “Were you havin’ a good evening?”

“Was,” Rafael sighed, trying not to furrow his brows with irritation. “I finally gave that bar you’d been going on about a try.”

“Oh?” Sonny asked, placing his hands on his hips. “Which one?”

“Martelli’s.” “Really? My friend works there, I oughta tell her to keep an eye out for ya!”

[filmstruck]

A Cinephile’s Guide to Telluride by Pablo Kjolseth

This Labor Day Weekend the Telluride Film Festival turns 45. With over 3,000 film festivals to choose from worldwide, why choose a trip to Telluride? Here’s why:

It's a beautiful place. Telluride is a former silver mining camp located almost 9,000 feet up in elevation alongside the San Miguel River in the Western San Juan Mountains. You’ll be in a box canyon with breathtaking views. If you stand downtown on Colorado Avenue at dusk, you'll see amazing sunsets to the west and steep canyon walls with the postcard-perfect Bridal Veil Falls to the east. Of course, most of the time you’ll be inside a movie theater being transported who-knows-where. But in-between shows and while waiting in line, you can drink in the views.

It's a challenge. In a good way. Attending Sundance is easy as there are plenty of cheap flights into Salt Lake City and then Park City is only a half-hour drive away. Maybe that's why it gets mobbed by 40,000 people. Telluride? It has a tiny airport with tiny planes and what has to be one of the tiniest runways in the U.S. The bulk of people attending, therefore, drive seven or so hours to get there and this helps to separate the wheat from the chaff, with attendance being about a tenth of what Sundance supports.

It's selective. A Sundance or Toronto catalog looks and weighs as much as a phone book and you know what you’re getting into in advance. Which can be a good thing, in terms of giving you many options and choices. But a Telluride catalog is a slim booklet that fits in your back pocket, and people attending won't know what will be in that booklet until they are there, usually the night before the big communal feast on Friday where pass holders and filmmakers commingle and jockey for paper plates in the same buffet line. It's a blind date, one in which you are being asked to trust the movie curators. It’s like a restaurant with no online menu and a great chef who wants to surprise you with all manner of unusual food items that you’ve never tasted.

It celebrates the legacy of film. They show archive prints, silent films with live musical accompaniment and they screen 35mm prints too (although sometimes they don't print this information in their programs, a strange oversight). And, of course, they have the ever-popular world and U.S. premieres by well-known directors or new talented filmmakers about to make a big splash.

It has free events. In the daytime, panel discussions in the park. At night, open air screenings under the stars.

It has a great campground with showers and bathrooms that are only a ten-minute walk from downtown. Warning: show up early if you want a shot at a spot. Otherwise you’ll find yourself driving out of town along Last Dollar Road looking for a place to squat.

It usually has Werner Herzog in attendance. Unless Herzog is on location elsewhere shooting a movie, he'll probably be there to celebrate his birthday alongside screenings that take place in the huge theater named after him or in one of the half-dozen or so other theaters that are within walking distance of each other (the exception to this being the Chuck Jones Cinema in Mountain Village, accessible via a free but half-hour long gondola ride from downtown). Speaking of which:

It has incredible staff, tech crew and theaters. Each theater has a theme, be it the Chuck Jones Cinema or The Galaxy. These theaters are built by volunteers, staff and top-notch technical crewmembers, who all put their heart-and-soul into transforming what is normally a climbing gym or some other public use space into temporary, state-of-the-art dedicated film auditoriums with its own vibe and magic.

IIt has no paparazzi. No press screenings. No rubber-neckers or throngs of people crowding out the celebrities for selfies (okay, some of those). As a result, in Telluride you might find yourself buying a bagel behind Willem Dafoe or bumping shoulders with Danny Elfman. It has a casual vibe. It's not a zoo. It's not a circus. It's not a market. It's a film festival devoted to cinephiles and serious filmmakers, one that just happens to be taking place in a gorgeous mountain setting where you half expect Julie Andrews to break out into song.

It always has a Guest Director. Sometimes a well-known director (John Boorman), or musician (Laurie Anderson), or philosopher (Slavoj Zizek) or, as is the case this year, a novelist: Jonathan Lethem. This is one of my favorite sections because Telluride staff will bend over backwards to find six titles that have had a profound influence on the Guest Director’s life. The choices usually go back in time, swerve among genres and always include new discoveries. They also serve to showcase the power of cinema. This year that program is sponsored by FilmStruck, because we cinephiles have to stick together.