#technically child endangerment

[probablybadrpgideas]

You’ve heard of “wall of fire”.

You’re heard of “wall of ice”

Now get ready for “wall of orphans”

[flightlessinsect]

Sending this out into the void:

Please what are your top tier irondad fics where may parker is nicely integrated (i.e. not completely forgotten or Killed For Plot Reasons™️).

Alternate request, top tier identity reveal fics?

[poptartregreteva]

ROBLOX FPE:S (as a teacher, miss circle, miss thavel or miss bloomie, doesnt matter): Murder, Student Murder, First-degree Murder, Possession of Deadly Weapon, Illegal Use Of a Deadly Weapon, Child/Student Endangerment, Assault (technically), Attempted First-degree Murder, Child/Student Murder

also this is what i mean when i say FPE:S

[canislupus-13]

Why was I allowed to make a wizard with dyslexia and dysgraphia who learned to do magic mostly out of spite?

Here they are btw. Their name is Adrie and as most of my characters they're a half elf. (They're from an urban fantasy campaign)

I love them. Their spellbook (it's sentient because order of scribes) is the only supportive person in their life as well as the only person in the party with any charisma. It also gives horrible dating advice.

They're also the biggest lesbian disaster this side of the Mississippi. So much so it's one of their character flaws (that and the fact that if they don't want to talk to someone they will just speak in sylvan).

Also my DM has been taking notes on my taste in women (we're best friends so sometimes I'll just go into our private messages and be like "look at this woman! She's so pretty I want to cry" Or something to that tune) to make an NPC that will appear so I am scared.

[liketolaugh-writes]

Okay but something I keep wondering every time someone mentions OSHA in relation to the Fentons

…Is it technically an OSHA violation if you’re self-employed?? Like. It’s not illegal to endanger yourself. Bringing the kids into it makes it a child endangerment issue. But does OSHA factor into it?? I don’t think it does??

[smallpwbbles]

...ya know, the fact that OMEGA of all people seems stunned that shadow is technically a child is hilarious.

Omega is literally just

He doesn’t want to be in trouble for child endangerment (which he still would considering Shadows is still a minor technically)

[dishonestlies-if]

(Dis)honest Lies

Demo: TBA || About The Archivists Age Rating: 16+ CW: Violence, death, child endangerment, child death/descriptions of child death, classism, manipulation, forced isolation/confinement (technically?), parental neglect, mild homophobia RO-specific CWs (contains spoilers): here

The king is dead, cries the crowd of mourners that line the path towards the Royal Tombs. As you walk down behind your father's coffin, you note that there are no commoners among them. Not surprising, given they are not allowed to entire the palace grounds, though you wonder if anyone beyond these walls are mourning with you. Your father was a much-beloved king, but no one beyond the Court had ever met him - or you, for that matter, or any of your predecessors since the Curse took effect. You wonder briefly what the outside world is like - the Advisors describe it as a beautiful place of wonder and innovation, at least in the capital. Perhaps the people are holding their own ceremony out there, in honour of your father.

You turn your attention back to the procession. There will be time to ponder this later.

You have a speech to give, a coronation to attend, a kingdom to rule.

There is no place for such pointless thoughts. You were born in this palace, and in this palace will you die. You will never see the outside world.

Will you?

Play as the newly crowned monarch of Batrinoa! Bring your kingdom to new heights, or send it plummeting into chaos - the choice is yours, and yours alone. After all, you are the monarch - who would dare defy your authority?

Customize the MC Veridas (27) (name changeable); gender, appearance, personality, etc!

Be swept off your feet by five potential love interests (gender selectable) - or don't! You can be swept off your feet by friends, too. And enemies. But that might be a bad idea.

Ally with your neighbours, or start a war - Batrinoa is powerful, why not utilize your military and expand your territory?

Solve problems that arise in your nation, or make them worse - where there's money to be had, who really cares if a few peasants die?

Face crushing moral dilemmas that make you question your reality!

Find the truth behind the web of lies that surround the Court - there are many hidden secrets, and if you look in the right places, you might find them. Assuming, of course, that they don't kill you first.

And why in the name of the Divine do you keep seeing the Archivist-in-training in your dreams?! You barely even know her!

Love Interests

The Guard Caelum/Celestine/Calytrix Hildebrand (28) is the fourth child of the Hildebrand family, your best friend and confidant, and godparent of your daughter. As children, you were inseparable, and even when C was in the army you kept in touch. Now they serve as your loyal guard - wherever you go, they will follow. It is their duty, after all; what the monarch wants, the monarch will get, nevermind how they feel about it. So long as it makes you happy, there is little they won't do to achieve it.

The Silver-Tongued Minister Elias/Elora/Elwyn Alinac (29) is Head of the House of Alinac, one of the Four Great Families and a member of the Advisors. They are, without a doubt, the Court's most charming noble. Intelligent and quick-witted, Batrinoa's Director of Foreign Affairs is well-versed in the art of communication, especially when it pertains to getting what they want. There are flocks of men and women alike who would kill to hold E's attention for even a fraction of a second. Fortunate, then, that they only seem to have eyes for you.

The Unapproachable Advisor Orpheus/Odette/Odilon Marchand (26) is Head of the House of Marchand, one of the Four Great Families and a member of the Advisors. O is rather unpopular with the nobility and common folk alike; their blunt speech, cold demeanour, and prickly personality make for rather unpleasant company, though none can deny their skill as Batrinoa's newest Minister of Finance. They maintain a professional distance from everyone around them, but perhaps you can close that gap - surely it must be a lonely existence, to hold everyone at arm's length as they do.

The Revolutionary Mervyn/Maira/Maverick (27) is a commoner of Batrinoa, a tailor who lives with their mother and three siblings near the slums of the capital. Passionate and rebellious, they abhor the monarchy and how the nation is run, and everyone knows it; M is an outspoken critic of the throne, and far from the only one. As the new monarch, you are the very pinnacle of everything they despise - can you show them that you are willing to do what your predecessors would not, or will you just add fuel to the fire?

The Flirtatious Informant Legacy (29) is the best informant in your employ (and the best assassin). They once swore loyalty to your father; now, they serve you. They're a shameless flirt, and never serious - about anything, really, not even their own life. You've asked where they came from, but you've received 14 different back stories at this point and you're not sure they're even capable of telling the truth if it doesn't pertain to their job. You wonder how Legacy ended up in this employ; surely this is not a job most would willingly choose to pursue?

Other Characters

Alix Morozov - your late spouse, the other biological parent of your daughter, and a relative of Drelix's King Vsevolod. They died three years ago, leaving you a single parent. Your marriage was for two reasons only - to end the war between your kingdoms, and to produce a precautionary heir for the Batrinoa line. Having succeeded in both, you considered them a good person and a dear friend, though there was never any love in your relationship.

Luminosa 'Lumi' Batrinoa (5) - your daughter from your marriage with Alix. Now that you are monarch, she is heir to the throne; a lofty title that may be, though it paints a massive target on her back. You can only hope you will not need to arrange a political marriage for her.

Beau Marchand (32) - the disgraced son of the Marchand family, his reputation for debauchery and excess is known far and wide throughout the capital. You remember him vaguely, having interacted with him as a child, though you haven't seen him since he was disowned thirteen years ago. O has since restored Beau to the family, but you have yet to see him return.

Dolion (53) - the Archivist, sometimes called the Secret-Keeper. One of the Blessed, his Miracle naturally makes people rather wary of him, and his sour demeanor does nothing to help his case. At the very least, none of the Advisors seem to like him, though you're fairly certain that's more because he was born a commoner rather than a child of the nobility.

Fialova Solanaceae (20) - Dolion's successor, the current Archivist-in-training. Timid and shy, she seems to dodge you at every opportunity, though you often catch her staring as if she has something she'd like to say. There's more to her than meets the eye, but are you brave enough to seek out the skeletons in her closet?

Helianthus Solanaceae (54) - Head of the House of Solanacaea, one of the Four Great Families and a member of the Advisors. She is the supreme judge of Batrinoa's legal system and handles all legal affairs within the kingdom's borders. As your godmother, she cares greatly for your well-being. She would happily spoil Luminosa rotten if you didn't stop her in time.

Volker Hildebrand (61) - Head of the House of Hildebrand, one of the Four Great Families and a member of the Advisors. Arrogant and conceited, he takes great pride in being the Minister of War. Objectively the most powerful member of the Council, he has the nation's military at his beck and call and takes great joy in lording over the other Advisors. The Court has no great love for him, though none can deny that it was thanks to him that the war with Drelix went as well as it did. Though he has little interest in anything besides battle and bloodshed, he has returned to the capital for your coronation and to assist you in acclimating to your new position.

[justabigassnerd]

Unexpected

Pairing - Jack Reacher x child!reader

Word count - 2,322

Warnings - gun violence, death, blood mentions, child endangerment, angst, lil' pinch of fluff

Summary - on a mission wherein he saves a child, Jack Reacher finds himself forming an unlikely softness towards the young child

A/N - oooh this is new isn't it?? this was a request sent in by @fangirl23obession so I hope I did the idea justice. writing for Jack ended up being a lot harder than I anticipated so I hope this is an okay read for y'all. as per y'all please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

While travelling the states, Jack had caught wind of some suspicious activity within an Army regiment and so naturally went to investigate further. He didn’t care that he wasn’t technically part of the military anymore. When he got involved in something he was going to see his investigation through until the end.

The Army, knowing who he was and still respecting his rank despite him not being part of the Army anymore, let him weigh in on the ongoing investigation into how a soldier had gone completely AWOL with no evidence of foul play yet before he disappeared, he had been disappearing for hours at a time late at night and returning only in the early hours of the morning. At first, his comrades and superiors thought he was sneaking out to go to nearby bars and spend the night with people outside of the Army but when his superiors went to nearby bars to question the staff, they all denied seeing him at all.

As the investigation progressed, Jack found more and more evidence pointing towards a group of former military personnel who were trying to gain power to supposedly take back from their former places of work. Jack didn’t understand why such a group existed and quite frankly he didn’t care. He was there to do a job and that’s what he was going to do before moving on. He’s dealt with much worse in his lifetime. He wasn’t about to let one measly group of rogue soldiers do any damage.

What Jack could never have predicted was them scooping up a child off the streets and taking them hostage as a way to try and convince people to listen to their demands. With that newfound information, Jack was preparing to go off in search of the group to end them once and for all. The Army, of course, insisted he take some soldiers with him to assist in the whole ordeal and while Jack would rather go about everything himself, he knew he had very little say in the matter so allowed them to come with the one rule that they listen to everything he says. He is in charge of this operation and he’s not going to let anyone undermine him on this mission.

When Jack tracked down the base of the group, he took the soldiers assigned to his mission with him and headed to the old warehouse as he muttered to himself about the cliché of it all. When they arrived at the warehouse, of course, there was a group of ex-soldiers waiting for them, so Jack and his team immediately came under fire and were forced into cover. Jack commanded his team with ease, his military background having never left him and orders slipped from his mouth before his brain could even catch up. He managed to advance forward and make his way into the warehouse, taking down any men who refused to back down.

When he finally fought his way through the splinter cell of rogue soldiers, he reached what he could only assume was the main operations room where the leader had chosen to hide out, a young girl tight in his grip as he held his gun towards Jack.

“You better back up there, Reacher. You don’t want anything to happen to this kid now, do you?” The leader growls, moving his gun to be placed against your temple as more tears work their way down your cheeks as you squirm to try and get out of the man’s iron grip.

“The kid isn’t part of this. Let her go.” Jack says, his gun trained expertly on the man standing before him. He longed to pull the trigger, to end all this mess right here and now but he held his itchy trigger finger back. He knew he couldn’t fire his weapon now, not in front of a young child.

“If I let the kid go, you’ll just kill me. I’m not that stupid.” The leader snaps angrily, the barrel of the gun digging further into your temple with each word that leaves his mouth and Jack quickly begins to figure out a solution.

“Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to put my gun down and you’re going to let the kid go. I won’t try anything. In fact, I’ll let you go.” Jack bargains, beginning to lower his weapon, crouching down and placing his gun on the floor before holding his hands up in surrender.

“I heard your men out there, they’ll kill me.” The man then says, his anger never diminishing.

“They’re only out the front of the warehouse, I never thought to send anyone around the back, so you have a free escape if you go now. Just let the kid go.” Jack says, slowly straightening up and loosely gesturing to the door behind the leader. He remained silent for a moment, eyes flicking between the door and Jack, watching warily to see if he’d dive for his weapon. Keeping his gun trained on your temple, the leader begins to back away towards the door, moving the gun away from your temple momentarily to open the door before returning it to where it was against the side of your head, ignoring the slight whimper that left your lips as the gun digs into your temple again. The man glances between Jack and his doorway to freedom before harshly shoving you to the floor and exiting the warehouse, slamming the door behind him. Jack picked up his gun and made his way over to you, helping you get to your feet, and you immediately clung to his leg, taking him aback slightly. As you clung to his leg, Jack heard a singular gunshot ring out from outside. He knew it was a good idea to bring along a sniper.

“Are you hurt, kid?” Jack then asks, reminding himself of the task at hand as he carefully detaches you from his leg and crouches down to be at your height. You didn’t respond vocally to Jack’s question, just shaking your head as more tears rolled down your cheeks. Despite you shaking your head, Jack checked you over anyway, just to be sure. Once he was satisfied that you were indeed unharmed, he looked at you once more.

“What’s your name?” Jack asks, the gentlest tone to his voice that sounded foreign even to him.

“y/n.” Came your mumbled response, throat thick with tears as you wiped at your eyes harshly.

“Hi, y/n. I’m Jack.” Jack introduces himself to you, doing his best to maintain a gentle tone to not frighten you.

“Do you know where your parents live, y/n?” He then asks, receiving another head shake from you and fighting back a sigh as he glances up as if the ceiling held all the answers. He shouldn’t have expected a young child to know their parent’s address, but it would’ve made his life a lot easier.

“I don’t have any.” You mumble, making Jack look at you curiously.

“You don’t have parents?” He asks cautiously, hoping he somehow heard you wrong but when you nod in response, he lets out a soft sigh. You couldn’t be much older than five and he felt awful that you had no parents.

“I’m going to take you someplace safe, and we’ll talk with some people I know and look at finding you a nice place to live.” Jack says finally, straightening up and immediately you cling to his hand with your small one.

“Okay, kid. I’m going to need you to close your eyes while we leave the warehouse. I won’t let you trip or fall. Promise me you’ll keep your eyes closed.” Jack instructs, looking down at you as you nod, closing your eyes and clasping your free hand over your eyes for good measure. He didn’t want you to see the blood and dead bodies he knew were on the other side of the door. True to your promise, you kept your eyes closed the whole way through the warehouse, your nose wrinkling at the overwhelming stench of iron but you kept your eyes covered the whole time until Jack told you it was okay for you to open your eyes. When you uncover your eyes and blink them open, you discover that you’re standing in front of a car and Jack opens the door for you to climb in. A soldier offers you a hand to help you climb into the car, but you shy away, your grip tightening on Jack’s hand.

“Come on, in you get.” Jack says, letting you hold his hand to climb up into the car, curling up in one of the seats as soon as you’re in the car, eyeing the other soldiers standing by the car carefully. Sensing your discomfort, Jack climbed in the other backseat to offer a familiar presence and he hadn’t anticipated you clinging to his hand once more. If it had been any other situation, Jack was sure he would’ve taken his hand right out of your grip but there was something about the way you only trusted him that made his usually icy heart melt just a little.

The journey back to the military base was short and silent and when you all got out of the car, you were immediately clinging to Jack once more as he led you into one of the offices where Jack’s arrival was expected. The moment Jack entered the room and stood in the middle of the office, you hid behind his legs, aware of all the eyes that were on you as the Colonel stood from his desk.

“Ladies, would you two take young…” The Colonel begins, gesturing loosely in your direction as he realised, he didn’t know your name.

“y/n.” Jack fills in the blank for him.

“y/n. Thank you, Reacher. Take y/n here and get her washed and a change of clothes while we discuss the operation if you, please.” The Colonel finishes, and as the two approach you, you shy away further behind Jack’s legs.

“Hey kid, you go ahead and go with them, okay? They’re just going to get you cleaned up. I’ll be here when you’re done.” Jack says down to you as your head pokes out from behind his legs, looking up at him before tentatively stepping out from behind his legs and letting the two women usher you away so Jack and the Colonel can talk. Jack goes into detail regarding the mission and how it was successful before the subject moves on to returning you to your family.

“She told me she doesn’t have any parents. I don’t know what happened to them, but it seems she’s been alone for a while.” Jack explains as the Colonel nods along to Jack’s words, brow furrowing in thought.

“Okay, I’ll call up Child Protective Services and I’m sure they’ll find a safe and stable home for her.” The Colonel states, reaching for his office phone just as Jack speaks up.

“Actually, Sir. I’d like to take care of her.” The words left his mouth with no hesitation which took the Colonel by surprise. Jack Reacher was never a man who had shown much care for those around him, but you had come along and showed a side of him no one had seen before.

“Are you sure, Reacher? With your lifestyle, she wouldn’t have a very stable life.” The Colonel says, hand hovering over the phone as he watches Jack carefully.

“I’m very sure.” Jack nods, and the Colonel mirrors his action, his hand withdrawing from the phone. Just as the Colonel backs away from the phone you come rushing back into the office, sporting new clothes and damp hair, greeting Jack happily as he crouches down to be at your level.

“I got a choice for you. The Colonel here can call some people who will help find you a nice home, or you could come with me. It’s up to you.” Jack offers up the two choices and you fall silent, eyebrows bunched up as you think.

“I wanna stay with you.” You finally state, grinning at Jack who nods, straightening up and allowing you to grab hold of his hand as he turns to look over at the Colonel.

“Thank you for your assistance, Reacher. Maybe I’ll see you again.” The Colonel says, dismissing the two of you and you leave the base, skipping happily alongside Jack. Jack takes you to grab a quick meal while telling you that you’re both going to get on a bus after and head someplace new which you were excited about. When you got to the bus station, Jack paid for the two tickets, and you boarded the bus. You immediately claimed the window seat and Jack took the aisle seat. But Jack didn’t mind one bit, being on the aisle seat meant he could protect you much easier.

When the bus first departed, you were happily whispering to Jack about how excited you were about everything but soon they were replaced with stifled yawns.

“How about you take a nap, kid? I’ll wake you up when we get there.” Jack says softly, taking his jacket off and draping it over you like a blanket as you curl into the jacket, eyes soon closing. With you soon asleep, Jack figures he should get in some sleep of his own and rests his head against the chair and lets his eyes close.

When he feels a small weight rest against his arm his eyes slowly peel open again, glancing down to see you slumped against his arm. With the corners of his mouth twitching up into the smallest of smiles, he carefully winds his arm around you, tucking you into his side as you curl further into him a sleepy smile covering your own face.

Maybe being a parent wasn’t out of his comfort zone after all.

[birdiedoesdc]

my fics

batfam:

the misfortune of knowing anything: gen, 3.8k

Jason has dragged Tim Drake into his attempt to run away. Batman wants it to be known that he does not eat children. This is what you get for hoarding orphans, Bruce.

my shoulders are heavy already: teen, 9k

Damian is not sick. Dick is not having a crisis. Also, freezer pops.

exponential childhood acquisition: gen, 2.7k

An average morning in the life of Bruce Wayne, single father to approximately six children.

what right had you not to let me die?: teen, 3.8k

Jason Todd is about to find out why hundred and four degree fevers are, generally, considered detrimental to one's well-being. Tim Drake is about to commit crimes against Top Ramen and humanity. Bruce Wayne is about to fret. What else do you expect?

a hundred different ways to say the same thing: teen, 2k

Dick and Jason are very normal people with a very normal sibling-ish relationship.

whole package, babe, i like the way you fit: teen, 3.9k

Officer Tomás Martinez is beset upon by precocious, acrobatic children. Featuring child endangerment, celebrity crushes, and candy.

just a boy who had to sing this song: teen, 4.8k

Dick Grayson, in the week after his parents' murder.

i know it's over, still i cling: teen, 1.8k

Jason Todd, in the immediate aftermath of Under the Red Hood.

yarn over, pull through: teen, 11.4k

Jason Todd learns how to crochet. It turns out that having healthy emotional outlets improves your mental health and your relationships with others--like, say, a certain set of Bats.

love me like a child, hold me in the dark: gen, 3.9k

Steph gets thrust back in time, deals with some closet monsters, and has some pretty major emotional revelations.

blood is thick, but water is forever: gen, 3.1k

Jason, Dick, and Tim learn about communication.

won't stop til i get where you are: t, 3.3k

Roy Harper decides he will not be broken up with so easily. Especially by a guy he was never technically dating. Jason Todd takes it very well.

superman:

since you looked at me different: gen, 1.7k

Jon gets engaged like this.

it’s all relative fiction anyway: gen, 7.8k

Lois thinks Batman is Bruce Wayne. Jimmy thinks Batman is a vampire. Clark thinks it would be really nice if they could go to one gala without something terrible happening. (Also, Bruce Wayne is a menace.)

if you don’t remember, i will try to remind you: gen, 1k

Clark Kent gets a goddamn break.

hr form a113: teen, 2k

Slade Wilson terrorizes the employees of Lex Corp. Lex Luthor is no help. The new head of HR is at the end of their wits.

[chiisana-sukima]

Hello, what do you think about the take, and what Dean says in that one episode, that Sam is not like John than Dean?

Hi, Nonny! Thanks for the ask!

I'm guessing the episode you mean is 04x19 Jump the Shark, where Dean says Sam is more like John than he himself (Dean) ever was. If not, my apologies for misinterpreting, and I hope this is interesting anyway.

Imo accusations in spn of someone being like John are mainly about four things: anger, stubbornness, the desire for revenge, and child endangerment. And about those, my main thought is this:

image source

I do think early spn makes comparisons between John and Sam that are intended to represent character flaws Sam needs to struggle against and overcome. Sam is sometimes angry, he's often very stubborn, and there are multiple seasons where he's driven in part by desire for revenge. For better or worse though, I don't find the comparison very compelling; mainly because anger, stubbornness, and desire for revenge are all morally neutral. The only actual bastard in that combo up above is the child endangerment, which isn't really relevant to early seasons Sam.

Anger, and even hate, don't actually lead to the dark side of the Force; maladaptive responses to emotions do. Whether one wants to go to Blackwater Ridge like Dad said to practice one's vigilante serial killing profession or search for Jessica's murderer to do the same is not the compelling ethical problem spn makes it out to be. Either option results in killing (people-like-)monsters that are killing people while being too busy to kill other (people-like-)monsters that are killing other people. And everyone who's dead at the end of the day is equally dead regardless of whether one's motive was "pure" (saving people) or "stained" (revenge).

To give spn what credit it's due, s4, where this comparison from Dean occurs, *is* the closest Sam ever comes to having anger and desire for revenge drive him into maladaptive and harmful behavior. Especially in the flashback scenes to when Dean was in Hell, Sam is at least having a really rough time of it, even if he still honestly seems to not be harming anyone (more than usual for a hunter) but himself.

Any moral dimension is significantly undercut by the fact that Sam's kill count in s4 is not especially high (Sam 9/Dean 10), as well as by the fact that the behavior Dean doesn't approve of is saving possessed hosts instead of offing them indiscriminately as collateral damage to get at the demons inhabiting them.

And this quote itself is especially weirdly vibes-over-substance in that Dean is just disillusioned with Sam because Sam is disillusioned with life. There is no actual moral element to discuss. Adam was long dead before they got there. Sam is technically on the correct end of the argument: being left in the dark--the path Dean was advocating throughout the episode, and that he's bitter in this speech that Sam disagreed with him on--did possibly factor into getting Adam and his mom killed. Certainly Sam disagreeing with Dean in the present did not. But honestly, who cares either way? None of it is relevant now. Dead is dead, and neither Sam nor Dean had anything to do with it or has anything to be ashamed of.

Which brings me to the one thing the person who did have something to do with it actually should have been ashamed of: John treated all his kids badly. Whether he was motivated by anger and a desire for revenge or by fear for their safety or the side effects of alcoholism or not being able to keep it in his pants or whatever else is really only minimally relevant in terms of how much harm his behavior caused them.

And while I'm not a huge fan of the "Dean is Sam's parent" reading of spn, there's no doubt that because of John's neglect and parentification of Dean, Dean often feels like he was functionally Sam's parent. Which is fine! Feelings are neutral! But he also conducts his half of their relationship from within that paradigm; which is not great in the show's present because Sam is an adult.

And given all that, lets get back to Dean's "you were more like him than I'll ever be". Who, by the end of the season, is endangering their "child" here? Who, in Levee, puts their own needs and the needs of the hunt above the life of the person they (feel they) raised? Who says "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back"? And how likely do we all think it is that the writers didn't do that on purpose?

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: technical child endangerment / ]

Y’know every time I see the turtle tots playing with their original weapons I’m always flabbergasted that Splinter let Leo have a literal sword as a small child.

And then left him unsupervised with it.

Like, at least the others had blunt weapons (though still dangerous in their own right, especially Raph’s blunt tipped sais) but Leo’s katana are so easily lethal that it’s a miracle he seemed to be a natural with them. Because, if he wasn’t a natural then���oof.

It’s at least a good thing he only got one sword at first and not his usual two. Splinter would’ve needed to count his lucky days because OOF.

[scarletst0ries]

TWST: The EPIC Saga

The Horse and the Infant

Main Character: Jamil Viper(Odysseus)

Technically Jamil x Oc. (I needed to have as many of the canon cast as possible)

I will be following the story of EPIC and by extension the Odyssey but with the names of twst characters and slight rewrites. Style: Songfic? I think?

TW: murder, child endangerment, dramatics, war, PTSD, death, more to be added as it comes up. Masterlist

A/N: Love you Yana! And love you Jorge! I hope I do this story justice

600 men were crammed into a wooden horse. They were all dressed in the Scalding Sands’ traditional soldier’s uniform. They wait with bated breath as they feel the horse begin to move into the capital city of the Kingdom of Heroes. They all turn to their commander, a young man with long, dark, hair, and calculated grey eyes. He sighs and looks to the men around him.

“Alright my brothers, listen closely. Tonight we make those “heroes” pay. Ten years of war they’ve killed us slowly, but tonight we’ll be the ones who slay!”

A buzz of cheers ricochets throughout the horse. He waits for it to die down before starting again, “Think of your wives and your children,” He looks at the snake armband around his right upper arm, ”Your family’s wondering where you’ve been. They’re growing old and yet you’re still here.”

He looks at his men again, admiring the determination in their gaze.

“Do what I say and you’ll see them again,” He offers.

“Yes sir!” The army shouts. It’s overwhelming and would get them found out without the soundproofing spell. He begins to assign specific duties to his best soldiers.

“Jack will lead the charge,” A tall wolf beastman nods.

“Sebek will flank the guard, Silver will let our mates through the gate and take the whole city at large, Rook will shoot any ambush attack, and Epel will stay back,” He waits for each man to nod before continuing, “Sam, secure the princess and protect her, and Floyd, avenge your father, kill the brothers of Rielle!”

“Yes sir!”

The captain’s eyes glow slightly red, giving a binding order to his men, “Find that inner strength now, use that well of pride, fight through every pain now, ask yourself inside: What do live for, what do you fight for, what do you wish for, what do you try for?”

The men echo the last sentiment as the order solidifies. The horse begins to move.

He takes the armband and turns it over in his hands. He thought back to his homeland where people, specifically someone was waiting for him. He sees a woman, his wife, y/n and a small bundle in her hands, their son, Carmon. He slips the gold snake band back onto his arm.

I fight for us.

He can hear the soldiers around him asks each other who they’re living for. Y/n

Who they’re trying for.

Carmon

Who they’re wishing for. He sighs in preparation as he can feel the wooden horse beginning to stop moving.

I’m on my way

Who they’re fighting for. The horse stops moving and the door on the neck slowly starts to open. The soldiers hug the shadows until it opens enough for them to safely jump down. The moment finally comes.

“Attack!” He shouts and the soldiers rush the unsuspecting citizens and army, beginning to slaughter them.

The Scalding Sands’ men are suffering no casualties. Spells of all kinds fly throughout the battlefield. The captain had just finished clearing out a unit of archers until he notices someone behind him. He tries to react but the assailant thrusts a blade through his stomach. He lets out a gut-wrenching scream, trying to grab the blade.

But he finds nothing. Because he wasn’t stabbed.

“What…was that?” He asks, turning behind him to see a tall man with jet black hair, pointed ears, and horns. Malleus, the king of the gods.

Malleus smiles at him and speaks with a deep voice, “A vision, of what is to come. Cannot be outrun, can only be dealt with right here and now.”

Jamil swallows, “Tell me how.”

Malleus chuckles, “I don’t think you’re ready,” he points to the captain, “A mission, to kill someone’s son. A foe who won’t run, it can only be dealt with right here and now.”

“Tell me how. I know that I’m ready.”

“I don’t think you’re ready,” Malleus snaps his fingers and a bundle of blankets float gently into his arms. The captain pulls back the blanket and is greeted with a small, sleeping face. He looks at it horrified.

“It’s just an infant…it’s just a boy. What sort of imminent threat does he pose that I can’t avoid?”

“This is the son of none other of the Kingdom of Heroes very own prince. He will grow from a boy do an avenger. One fueled by rage, if you’re consumed by age,” A group of gods appear behind him, joining Malleus in the prophecy, “If you don’t end him now, you’ll have nothing else to save.”

Malleus grins, “You can say goodbye to y/n.”

The captain looks around panicked, trying to find a solution that does not involve killing the innocent child, “I could raise him as my own.”

Malleus sighs, “He will burn your house and throne.”

“Send him far away from home.”

“He will find wherever you roam.”

“Make sure his past is never known!”

“The gods will make him know.”

“I’d rather bleed for you!”

“This is the will of the gods,” Malleus glares at the captain with an air of finality. The captain looks from the god, to the infant, and back to the god.

“Please don’t make me do this…Don’t make me do this!” His voice is strained. For once, the god looks at him with sympathy and places his hand on his shoulder.

“The blood on your hands is something you won’t lose,” He begins to fade away, “All you can choose is whose…”

He leave the captain alone with the infant. He stares at the burning city around him, before slowly walking to the edge of the wall….

_________________________________________

Some of the characters were inspired by @werewolfbyknight’s idea for the AU

[nomsfaultau]

Sorry for the long question ;-;

Would fae!Phil and fault!Phil get along? They technically both have a group of Collected, except fault!Phil had the patience(?) to wait for his Collected to warm up to him while fae!Phil uhhh kidnapped Tommy and stuff

Along with the fact that fae!Phil is from the Winter Court, in contrast to fault!Phil who is the embodiment of fire if I remember correctly

Actually how would the rest of the fault crew react to the fae crew? Knowing that fae!Wilbur and fae!Techno used to be human, but were replaced part by part until they turned unrecognizable...and that uh fae!Tommy is on that track too

Along with the different power dynamics in their universes between non humans and humans, whilst the Fault Universe has an organisation dedicated to containing them and most are generally hunted and constantly on the run, in the Fae universe while they are still ostracized, humans can't really do much about it, heck the Fae have their own realm and territory kdkdjdjsj

SCPhil thinks Faelza is a menace and abhors him for the constant consent violations, trying to force his Collected into being something they don’t want to be, and active child endangerment like holy muffin the child endangerment. Plus I don’t think SCPhilza necessarily goes immediately for instant Collection? Prefers to get to know someone over months/years before making that decision because well it’s a life long commitment. (Tubbo is. A big asterisk on all this for multiple reasons but they’re an exception). Meanwhile Faelza glances at Tomfae and is like yeah I can kidnap that kid. So polar opposites there. Plus Faelza is extremely bound by fae rules (hospitality, counting rice, politeness, children protection magic, not lying, saying his please and thank yous or whatever), whereas SCPhilza adheres exclusively to protect xyz and abide by their boundaries. Plus the winter vs fire alignment as you point out. Honestly diametrically opposed on the Philza sliding scale. Like technically they both choose to spend immortality picking up funky mortals, but SCPhilza isn’t like a full blown cartoon villain so it shakes out pretty different. Also I’m not entirely sure who would win in a fight? Like obviously SCPhilza can go dragon mode and regen like crazy, but also his power set is fairly defined whereas Faelza has an extremely broad and nebulous power set plus can straight up control time?? So like very hard to say. Plus he’s a 2 for one special and Lady Death might have something to say if someone tried to kill him. 

The Blade is not flattered by the ‘woe im becoming a monster’ thing. Or the uncle thing, miss him with that found family crap. Can relate to Fakenoblade (nickname from fae!Tommy) fighting like hell for a kid he barely knows. Likely compare notes on the souls vs the voices, and the souls are probably more useful. Compare cape hammer space vs fluffy mane that’s so big, it’s full of secrets. The Blade wins obviously except if not for the guaranteed win I think Fakenoblade again has a very undefined bs power set where he can just pull out enchanted weapons from nowhere or chuck a grown deer at someone. Honestly power scaling is a nightmare bc Lord what fools these mortals be runs purely on what is funniest/most horrifying in a given second. 

Scpilbur thinks Nilbur (again as per Tommy) is a threat due to his charmspeak. Fairly similar to the void as far as names, bargains, manipulation goes. Nilbur probably immediately tries to learn its name, probably on impulse. Scpilbur maybe convinces Nilbur to chill since humanity isn’t that big a loss? Kinda applauds the ambition even. Will deffo help scheme against Lady Death, they bond over it even if Nilbur acts superior for all his knowledge of the Courts. Scpilbur would win in a fight BUT Nilbur would never let it get to a fight. 

Anomaltommy would clock that Lady Death is manipulating Tomfae. However. He doesn’t care as long as their affection so it would be debatable if he would even properly help stop a baby from being manipulated. Like he might be down to be kidnapped by an overly loving if dangerous couple. Man he’s desperate. Anomaltommy is shown to be awkward around kids but can connect to them. So I think he could position himself as the cool alternative to the freaky monster everyone else. And Tomfae is good at not touching him since whenever he tries his spidey sense kicks in and stops it. Anomaltommy would win but he’s not in the business of beating up children.

Red would work on the King and Queen of the Winter Court. The death toll would be catastrophic. Then they’d be like ‘oh cool to avoid that problem we’ve coated your skin in a pocket dimension so that no one can touch you so now your power isn’t a problem :)) making everyone far far worse which is really on brand. 

Within the Fae court, Fault crew wouldn’t stand out in the slightest. Well aside from being fresh meat. Wilbur, Philza, and Tubbo could do okay to well, but Tommy and The Blade are pretty screwed. As for the human realm, fae stuff is ostracized and is likely to be run out eventually, but also that’s because fae loose power the longer they’re in the mortal realm. Fault crew don’t have that and could get along somewhat well there. Human Fae relationship are tense, but they do also do things like say petition with the Courts or make bargains for power and wealth or what have you, so humans also view the anomalies as having potential for being beneficial in some way. Plus can’t really do anything about it tbh. 

[mdhwrites]

The Owl House Fans Don’t Know What Colonies Are

So this isn’t actually me firing shots at the show. This is about the meta commentary people like to use to elevate the show and it’s one of the most laughable to me. That it’s some grand, anti-colonial story because Belos is a colonizer and Luz stands up for indigenous people as one of them! I’ll get into the colony side of it but on a basic level, it needs to be pointed out that Belos is an American, not British. The closest he could be is one of those sent out to colonize for Britain but he was literally too young to have been a part of that decision when it happened if that were the case and those who colonized America... were treated as part of a colony to Britain. So literally he was a part of the oppressed or he’s post The War for Independence and America was never a colonial power, ESPECIALLY NOT BACK THEN.

Secondly... Just because Luz isn’t white doesn’t mean she can’t technically fall into the white savior trope. The point of that trope is just to talk about how much it sucks when an outsider comes in, makes everything better and fixes all the problems. Luz still ostensibly does that while not being a part of the culture or using the culture and its people in order to save them. Her glyphs are unknown to everyone except LITERALLY THE GROUND THEIR STANDING ON. So... Yeah, she’s not some inspirational story against colonizers. I think you’d have to write a VERY different sort of story for an isekai to be anti-colonial like that frankly. Oh, and we can’t forget that she’s literally blessed by a god because she has a viewpoint to their son that’s different from the rest of the Isles, the indigenous people, and is then empowered to go kill the ruler, who ostensibly the people approve of and chose to be there, regardless of the lies to why, because she does not believe in his methods or beliefs.

Which, you know, for either anti-colonial messaging or anti-Christian Fundamentalism is kind of yikes.

But neither of these matter because The Boiling Isles is NOT a colony. Not even close. The definition that the fans use to say it’s a colony, ruled by an outsider effectively, would have made RUSSIA a colony to Germany while Catherine the Great was ruling it purely because Catherine was a German. If that does not immediately make you cringe, you need to listen.

So as far as how they are ruled, what are the Isles? Well, I bring up Catherine not just because of the pointed joke. See, her husband also wasn’t Russian. He was a German as well but adopted by Elizabeth of Russia. When he became Tsar, everyone hated him and his policies, especially military policies, so much that they overthrew him and chose Catherine.

That’s effectively what the Isles is. They chose Belos as their ruler. Yes, they were deceived as to why he should rule them but they did choose it eventually. As far as we understand, he wasn’t a conqueror and he wasn’t even a part of a coup like Catherine was. Instead, after terrible deeds and the like, he united the Isles under his coven system, brought an end to an age and moved on with his life. His policies, besides magic, are even progressive in some ways because apparently children had no protection before Belos and then he added child endangerment laws. He ostensibly made the Isles a safer place with his guards who could respond to monster faster. The EC in fact, from the fact that they don’t do anything actually evil, especially compared to the populace, until almost S2′s finale with Labyrinth Runners (And I guess you could include Escaping Palisman but there’s extenuating circumstances there, much like how Eda is petrified for breaking the law. There’s more gray in theory to it.) That’s not how you run a colony... That’s just how you run your nation.

But of course that’s the case because the Boiling Isles literally CAN’T be a colony. See, colonies were made as a part of the concept of the Policy of Austerity. Each nation saw themselves as needing to be self sufficient, able to produce EVERYTHING required for civilization, without foreign aid. As such, colonies weren’t oppressed because of religious doctrine, that was propaganda, but out of necessity to that policy. After all, if your colonies have a real economy, they have less to give back to the mother land. You can’t tax them as much, you can’t regulate their trade as much, you can’t make sure their natural resources are going to you.

This is actually part of why the Puritans are the founders of America. They were annoying to the British so rather than dealing with them, they sent them to this weird, new world so as to bring back resources and get out of their hair. That’s also why Americans were treated maybe not quite as poorly as other colonies but we were still DEFINITELY a colony. We did not govern ourselves. Instead, Britain appointed our leaders and chose our policies. Otherwise, you know, we would have just gotten rid of the ludicrous tax on tea instead of throwing it into the harbor.

And if we want to talk more metaphorically about colonies... What culture did Belos push upon the Isles? Colonies would be made to adopt home cultures because that’s how the home country saw as the best way to rule and the best way to make the colony bend to the will of the homeland. If they act like British people, they will accept British rule more.

Except our one glimpse at the Isles is that they already look like they have the same fashion and architecture and commerce even as a Victorian era man. The architecture of the Isles literally doesn’t change between the past and the modern era, something the show actually does point out itself. Bonesborough as has a lot of the same buildings HUNDREDS of years later, there’s just more of them now.

Worse yet, the Titan is not Belos’ own religion. Ostensibly, it should be the Isles religion but they, reasonably, don’t know the Titan is alive. Belos theoretically doesn’t seem to either? Maybe? It’s inconsistent. But he establishes prisons instead of simply hanging those who do not conform in the present day. If they wanted to lean in on him bringing Puritan culture, there would have been a genuine purge of most of the Isles because of its rampant greed, self interest, art, stories, etc. that the Puritans were just very against because if it wasn’t about God, it died.

Again: The Puritans were so extreme, with such a stick up their ass, the BRITISH kicked them out of their country.

All of that would have hurt the fantasy though, wouldn’t it? It wouldn’t be some effectively idealic fantasy setting. Even the dangers Luz faces aren’t the worst and a real fantasy fan would be sad to see them be gone because then you don’t get that bit of menace that comes from a good fantasy world. More oppression, more change, more shifting to an anti-magic world like Belos theoretically should have been for (remember: He only asks that you join the Coven system. He barely cares what you do with the magic after that) then you lose that part of the isekai fantasy.

It’s actually part of why Belos being a human, his statement of “You think I want conquest” being that he just wants murder, actually makes the show less interesting. Evil emperors are a dime a dozen. Any isekai protagonist would expect to be pointed in their direction and shot off like a rocket. A genuinely complex ruler though who is having to deal with balancing humanity with his religion and his duties as emperor? That would have been a GREAT wake up call to Luz to stop assuming things based on tropes.

Belos would have had to be more of a part of the show and a character in his own right for that. Or for any of this really. We would have to see how Belos contrasts against a member of the Isles more and he really doesn’t. Serving in his own interest? Got plenty of villains like that in the Isles. Not caring about murder or enslavement for his methods? Yep, that’s pretty normal, including Odalia frankly. Lies to get what he wants? I mean, fucking LUZ does that!

But he is the bad guy because he’s the evil emperor and no amount of backstory or supposed meta narrative is going to fix that fundamental, thematic failing.

==========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[bad268]

JM CORREA AND HOW NICELY THIS MAN IS BUILT

I CANNOT

FLUFF W HIM AND MAYBE STUDENT READER ON A RACE WEEKEND IN THE PADDOCK!!!

Racing Hearts and Scholarly Pursuits (Juan Manuel Correa X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 2/3

Requested: Clearly (ILY AND I TRIED JMC I REALLY DID I WATCHED SO MANY PODCASTS AND SHIT SO I HOPE ITS NOT SHIT <3)

Warnings: Mentions of Spa 2019 crash/recovery, mentions of Ariel Castro and his crimes (Kidnapping, homicide, rape, child endangerment, disregard for human life, etc.) (I’m a criminal justice major so I did this essay based on an actual essay I did)

Pronouns: I/me

W.C. 1749

Summary: Master's student Y/n visits JM at one of the most important races of the year: Spa.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Google/F2 2023 announcement)

Schooling has always been a main concern for me, and I made that clear in any relationship I was in. My friends knew that when I had assignments due, there was no going out, and I would be almost entirely focused on my work. When I met JM and eventually got into a relationship with him, I told him the same thing, and he was very supportive of it. He also made it clear that he would be traveling a lot because he was back on the Formula 2 grid, and I fully supported him. 

Recently, my summer classes have been busy, but I knew I wanted to support JM in Belgium. I met him while he was in recovery in Miami, and he told me about his crash at Spa. It was still a difficult place to be, so I knew that I wanted to be there, regardless of my schooling.

Being on the F2 paddock was a shock. I hadn’t been there before, or to a race in general, but the people there were crazy. There were photographers, journalists, celebrities, and fans everywhere, and they were all pushing for any attention they could get. As soon as I got through the gate, they were at my throat, trying to ask questions about who I was, get pictures of me, and overall just pushing to get a reaction out of me. 

I ducked into the first building I could find, and thankfully, it was the Van Amersfoort motorhome. I walked into the first room that was open, which happened to be someone’s driver’s room, so I could call JM. After a couple of rings, he picks up.

“Hey, are you at the gates?” He greets.

“Nope,’ I laugh, “I somehow made it to Van Amersfoort while running from the press. I’m in someone’s driver’s room, I think.”

“How far did you walk in the building before going into the room?” He asked, already heading out of the meeting room he was sitting in.

“I went straight and the door was open,” I explained, looking around the small room before laughing, “I actually like this room. This would be a good place to work on my essay.”

“Well, if you’re in the room I think you’re in, you can stay in there all you want,” he chuckled as he abruptly hung up the phone. Before I could complain or send him a not-so-kindly-worded message, he walked through the door. He immediately wrapped his arms around my shoulders as he pulled me into a tight embrace. “Ironically, you found my driver’s room.”

“No wonder I felt so comfortable in here,” I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his torso and leaned back just enough to place a small kiss on his jaw. “I missed you. How are you feeling today?”

“Overwhelmed,” he sighed, moving us over to sit on the couch. I moved to sit next to him, but he immediately pulled me into his lap. He dropped his arms to be around my waist as mine moved up to play with his hair, and he laid his head on my shoulder before continuing. “Everything is just so hectic. It feels like there are more interviews this week, the debrief could’ve gone better, and I just think everything is happening at the same time.”

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed,” I started. “This is a big race for you. This is technically the first time you’re racing in an F2 car at this track since the accident. It’s okay to say that you need a break, too. Is it possible to talk to PR about the amount of interviews?”

“I can check, but I don’t think they’ll let me miss them,” JM sighed again, hiding his face in my neck. He took a few deep breaths, and I did not say anything, just letting him let calm down in his own way as I rubbed up and down his back. “What if I just hide in here for a while? Would they get mad?”

“Probably not mad, but wouldn’t this be the first place they check?” I chuckled at his question. “You can help me with my essay if you want, and if anyone says anything, I’ll say you were proofreading it.”

“Sounds good to me,” He smiled, placing a kiss on my cheek before loosening his arms, so I could grab my laptop from my bag. “What is your essay on anyway?”

“I could choose any case study to report on. I just need to relate it to topics from class. You know Ariel Castro?” I explained, turning to see recognition shine in his eyes as he nodded slowly. “So I’m doing it on his case. I wasn’t allowed to mention the sexual crimes, but I could talk about the kidnapping, homicide, child endangerment, and disregard for human life charges. I also can talk about how he tried to use the defense of consent in court.”

“I wish I understood what you are talking about,” he chuckled, looking over my shoulder at the document on the screen. “It’s already three pages. How long is this supposed to be?”

“First of all, it’s just an outline, so it’s only one page,” I pointed out as I showed him the title page and reference page. “Secondly, five to eight which is not too bad.”

“Not too bad? Five to eight? How do you find the words to talk about this stuff for five to eight pages? That seems like a lot.”

“It’s really not,” I laughed at his confusion. “All of my undergrad papers had to be three to five pages, so five to eight for a master’s level course is nothing. I just need more examples, analysis, and connections. A couple of my classes last semester had minimums of ten pages.” He sat in shock for a second before shaking his head in disbelief.

“Beauty and brains? How are you so talented?” He teased, “I don’t get how you do it.”

“Beauty and ballsy? How are you so talented?” I joked back, “I don’t get how you do it.”

“I was trying to compliment you, and you decided to make it weird,” He chuckled, moving to tickle my sides. We both broke out in laughs until there was a knock at the door. We took a minute to catch our breaths before JM responded, “Yeah?”

“You disappeared,” the person laughed as he entered the room, “Oh, you have a person on your lap, okay. My bad, but Leo and Mathieu want to go over the strategy for quali.”

“Like now or…?” JM asked, and the person answered with a nod. JM sighed before giving me a tight hug, “Alright, I guess that’s my cue.”

“Go do your job,” I scoffed, Pulling his arms from my waist and moving to stand up and put my laptop aside. “You can hide from the media another time.”

“That’s what you were doing?” The person laughed in disbelief. “That explains why Berthil was looking for you.”

“I just needed a break,” JM chuckled quietly to himself, “And I wasn’t hiding.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night,” I joked, reaching to grab his arm, pull him up, and push him toward the door. “Now, go to the meeting. I’ll just be in here probably and will meet you after.”

“Alright, alright I’m going! Also,” JM said just as he was about to leave the room, pulling the person back through the door, “Richard, this is Y/n, my significant other. Y/n/n, this is Richard, my teammate. Now you know each other. I love you! I’ll be back later.” With that, they left. All the while, Richard was laughing about them being late as they walked away from JM’s driver’s room.

~~

The sprint and feature races went surprisingly well. Despite qualifying P14 JM was able to climb into the points for both races thanks to some well-timed pitstops and safety cars, ending in P6 in the sprint and P8 in the feature. Almost the entire grid planned to go out to dinner and then party at a nearby club after, but that was never our type of scene. Plus, we had a pos-race ritual per se.

“I cannot believe you've done this,” I gasped, looking away from the screen to JM who was chuckling beside me after his character threw a blue shell at me. “Can I win? Just once against you? That’s all I’m asking!”

“It’s not my fault you ran off the map during the first lap,” He wheezed out as his character crossed the finish line ahead of mine. “This always happens when we play Rainbow Road. Why do you always pick it?”

“I like the colors!” I explained, aggressively setting my controller to the side as someone knocked at the door. I answered it, seeing as it was room service. I took the food before thanking them, closing the door, and returning to the couch. “Can we turn this off? I don’t want to see your guy dancing on the screen anymore.”

“You’re just jealous. I get it,” he teased as he stood up to turn off the Nintendo Switch and change the channel to a random movie, which ended up being Star Trek: Into Darkness. “Oh, no. We are changing this.”

“No!” I protested, grabbing the remote immediately. “I love this movie!”

“You don’t love this movie,” he pressed, grabbing onto my biceps to cage me into his chest, “you love Benedict Cumberbatch!”

“How can I not?” I admitted with a joking edge to it as I pretended to struggle against his arms. “Hot, smart, and British? What’s not to love?”

“You have a hot, smart, Ecuadorian/American boyfriend right here!” He whined with a pout as he pointed at himself, keeping one arm tight around my torso. “What’s not to love?”

“Hot, yes. Ecuadorian/American, yes. But smart? Debatable,” I replied. His jaw dropped, causing his arm to loosen which allowed me to make my escape. I put a small distance between us as JM laughed in disbelief.

“You just say that 'cause I’m not in college, Mx. Master’s Student,” He teased as he pulled me into his side. I didn’t get the chance to settle into his side as he fell back onto the couch, dragging me down with him.

“No it’s not that,” I chuckled quietly at his antics. “It’s because I saw you text Clem the wrong “there.” You can’t recover from that.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2023. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[princess-of-the-corner]

You make a lot of sense on the Andre stuff in BWH, I just really wanna come up with a way for him to get fucked over by the Peacock bc of his whole 'disowning the troubled kid he's primarily responsible for to steal her half sister who has no relation to him (unless more stupid retcons happen)' thing

Although, if this is happening during MQ, wouldn't both Andre and Audrey be out of the picture? Since they were the Akuma while everything on the roof was happening.

There's like a window of time for this to work. So it's

Chloé refuses Hawkmoth's offer and gets yeeted

Heart Hunter is either released by Hawkmoth(no longer being useful) or defeated by the Heroes

Ladybug gathers the Dragon from Kagami, she and Adrien go back on their date while LB heads to Fu(only to find the fucked up carousel)

Andre and Audrey head home, where Gabriel can yoink Audrey off to 'talk' aka: make Joé(.... that sounds dirty out of context)

Joé is Akumatized into Miracle Queen and starts sending wasps after everyone

So there's time to do it.

As for Andre and consequences!

He is going to face some hell because Zoé is Not Okay With This At All™. While she initially got along with him as a father figure, she's aware that he's part of the reason Chloé is the way she is. Though, again, sympathetic because he seems more 'enabler to Audrey' than his own 'bad'.

Then he does the 'Chloé isn't the perfect child I wanted despite raising her, let's ship her off with her abusive mom. But I'll keep Zoé because she's better!' thing. And Zoé is Not Having This™.

Her first course of action is to leave Andre entirely. Thankfully the Miracuclass, while having beef with 'Chloé' is understanding that the situation is fucked. She then calls her /actual/ dad to inform him of everything happening but how she wants to get 'Chloé' and stay in Paris. So he helps her work out a situation with her own apartment. It's a temporary solution because he wants an Actual Adult looking after her but that'll come later.

Zoé kinda works on things but she can help 'Chloé' file charges on Andre for child endangerment because he knowingly left her in a situation he knew to be abusive. Not to mention Zoé can file her own charges in that him trying to grant himself custody of her is technically attempted kidnapping.

That'll take a while because they get distracted with the Monarch situation and getting the real Chloé back and figuring out legally what to do with Joé.