#technically I only have 4 but I love them all equally

[cjhartley]

i have decided to just start calling cjscisci world egg theory* for now as a placeholder. lets hear it for 🍳 or 🥚 idk which . whatever

*not actually a trans joke but that also works . real connor oc fans remember my giant treatise abt eggs and the spirit and ghosts as basically the more mature form of a human and soul and the body as the egg and etc. and basically its just a big thing i wrote while high and then it changed the course of cj scisci story 4ever bc thats when i added in dilly and liza and ronnie (who ik i said i got rid of and i might still get rid of them but they were made with dilly originally) who were from a different half finished concept i had going on . but anyways they got transplanted and then abbie and sanctity got transplanted as well

[masoncantthinkofaname]

My advice as someone who has shifted many times

Got some really sweet comments on my last post, and I decided I should probably get myself over my fear of posting here. I just love everyone in this community, you're all family to me💚

First, and most importantly, coffee:

When I posted my introduction here, a couple of months ago, I felt like I was already quite an experienced shifter. 4 kids, the most amazing husband, a life outside of this reality longer than I lived within it.

Looking back on it now, more than 500 years later, 3 more kids, 4 grandchildren, I was almost like a baby still, and even at this moment in time, I feel like I'm only at the start of my journey.

However, for the people that know my tiktok account, I have shifted to a lot of places by now. Experienced immortality as a human, as a deity, I've seen different cultures practice shifting, and taught shifting to every single one of me and my husband's children.

My main purpose in coming back here, is to help others achieve what I finally managed after years of trying. I want you all to pursue your dreams, and find the infinite happiness you so deserve.

So here is some advice:

Shifting itself is extremely simple. You want something, you get it. The concept of the reality that we're in doesn't allow for instant 'manifestations', but that doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means that, this reality by itself, doesn't have the rule of ''you desire something = you get it.'' That's where humans came up with the term ''manifestation,'' but it's simple really; you persist in wanting something, so you shift somewhere you have it. How easy that is can depend on the person, but every single one is capable of doing it, it's not technically any more difficult.

There are realities out there where, ''you want something'' does equal ''you get it,'' the term manifestation wouldn't even exist in those places, it's just as natural as it is for you here to feel as though you struggle attracting your desires.

I do not want to be rude to anyone, but there is no key to shifting. Anyone claiming they have the method to shift, or know the key to it, is overcomplicating it. Shifting is shifting, you don't need anything for it. Just existing, being aware, that's all you need to shift. HOW you do it, depends on the person. Assumptions, methods, intention, they're all tools to help you, but they're not the key.

You can shift while showering, while taking a dump, you can jump in the air and yell ''Yippie!!!'' to shift if you would believe that it works. An actual method? A joke method? There's no difference between them. The only real difference? You assume one to work, and one to not do anything, and that's where our limited mindsets are created.

I've seen so many different groups by now. People that shifted through meditation, through rituals, a group that would quite literally dive into a lake that they saw as magic, but also people that simply just, decided they wanted it, and shifted seconds later. They were raised with those beliefs, so they work for them.

And you here? You're raised in a society that tells you that you have to work for what you want, that a dream life is impossible, nothing is for free. And then you wonder why you struggle with shifting, why it's so hard to believe that you can do something so incredibly simple. Your struggles are valid, it is not your fault.

As an awareness you're so much more than the 3d, you're so much more than the body or brain you're aware of. You're simply a guest in this body, until it expires or you choose yourself to move on, but that doesn't take away that while you're here, you have to deal with your experiences, memories, and taught mindsets from this place.

That's why, the biggest advice I can give you, is to listen to yourself. Not society, not other people, no one who tries to tell you that they know ''the way.'' If someone's method aligns with you, that is amazing, and definitely put it to practice. But don't force yourself to go through methods and practices that don't feel right for you. If you dread doing it, it's not for you. Find something fun, something that fits your routines and beliefs.

Remember that time has no meaning. 5 days, 5 months, it's not going to matter in 3000 years. Literally nothing can stop your existence, nothing that could happen to you in this reality can ever stop you from existing.

There is no pressure, eternity is waiting for you, be kind to yourself. You are exactly where you're meant to be. It doesn't matter how you shift, so don't make it a chore. Script, create scenarios, daydream, make up your own rituals or find the most fun ways to set intention. You don't need hour long methods of counting, starfish positions and difficult affirmations. Your desires are already heard, your subconscious already knows where you want to go, so enjoy the ride until you get there💚

[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

Press One for Love, Two for Regret

Chapter 3

Summary: Proper confessions should never happen over the phone. Viktor knows that. So how did he get here?

Pairing: Viktor x Reader

Word Count: 5.3K

Warning: Mature (mentions of explicit content, explicit in last chapter)

Notes: Yup, this started from a silly lil 1K prompt, don't ask me what happened, I wouldn't be able to say either. This chapter is pretty heavy on feelings, self-reflection and angst, but I think y'all will find it enjoyable ❤️. There's one more chapter left (the SMUT yeehawww), but I've written chapter 3 in a way where you could technically stop reading the story here if you didn't want to read the smut, and it would still be a satisfying conclusion. I know most of you are in it for the smut too, so don't worry my beloveds, it will come 😛💕

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 4/End)

The humanities faculty room always smells horrible.

It's hard to tell where the pungent scent even comes from; it feels like it's in the air, in all the furniture, in the walls themselves. There's no window to even attempt to vent it out either; it’s in the oldest wing of the university, built at least sixty years prior to the construction of every other unit. Most teachers avoid it like the plague, preferring to work in any other available space on campus, so it's almost always empty.

But it isn't today.

“Melllll,” you moan, shoving your face into the leather couch’s pillows. The smell is somehow worse, imbued into the fabric. If you had to describe it, you would just call it old. Like rancid coffee forgotten on the kitchen counter for too long, or ancient damp books abandoned in an attic. Old. “Why do I always mess up everything I do?”

Mel looks up from the paper she's grading with a sigh, adjusting the small reading glasses on her nose.

“You don't mess up everything you do,” she argues softly. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you say what you think without feeling ashamed. That's not something for everyone, but it's not a flaw, either.”

You can only groan into the odorous leather as an answer.

Viktor had been your very first friend at work, but he had been a lot more. Without him, you would have never met Jayce, and without Jayce, you would have never met Mel. And you would have no one to cry your woes to on a Friday evening, a whole two weeks after the most disastrous phone call of your life.

“And I believe Viktor is equally at fault here. He knows better than to play hide and seek with you forever,” Mel hums pensively, crossing her legs. Her olive eyes narrow, her nose scrunching up slightly in thought.

“He's stalling, trying to figure a way out without confronting his feelings or yours. He's smart enough to know there isn't one, but he's stubborn,” she points out, tapping her manicured nails on the wooden table. Tic, tic. Like **the sound of seconds passing on the clock, never-ending and all-consuming.

At first, both Jayce Talis, mechanical engineering PhD and researcher, and Mel Medarda, political science PhD with five peer-reviewed books published under her name, had been two extremely imposing people to interact with. You already felt unworthy enough talking to Viktor, but after learning of the kind of people he usually hung out with, you felt like an absolute loser. Jayce and Mel are both unreasonably attractive and accomplished, and when Viktor joins them, there's no denying he belongs to their world, and not yours.

In those moments, the differences between the two of you seem much more glaring: the university professor with a collection of awards and a PhD in biomechanical engineering, who is dedicating his life to creating life-altering prosthetic limbs and transmitting his knowledge to a whole new generation of scientists… and you.

The guidance councillor who can't shut up.

It’s not that you're ashamed of your job; you love what you do. You love being able to help people figure themselves out, and orient them toward what will make them happiest.

But when you stand in the same space as Viktor, it's hard to see anything other than how much greater of a person he is than you will ever be. He's like a star in the sky, shining brighter and brighter every day, and you get the privilege of watching him through the lens of a telescope. That should already be enough for you to be satisfied.

But it isn’t, not anymore. It hasn't been for a long time. And you want to do so much more than look at him. You want to touch him. You want to kiss him. You want to be someone worthy of shining alongside him; but you never believed that would ever happen.

And for so long, it felt so much easier to just date people whose very existence didn't make you feel like you would never be enough to reach their ankle. People who just wanted something casual and meaningless, some sex, maybe the semblance of a romance. And that's how you ended up with a string of disastrous relationships with men you barely even liked.

You contort your body uncomfortably on the couch to face Mel; it squeaks awkwardly under you, like it's threatening to break.

“Did you know? Did everyone but me know?”

She rests her head on her hand, the hint of a smile on her lips, seemingly slightly amused by the question:

“Depends on who you mean by everyone. No one outside his circle of close friends, for sure. He's not the type to scream about his love life over the phone,” she adds with a teasing glim in her eyes. “No offence.”

You groan, shoving your face back into the roughed-up leather. God, it still smells.

“But Jayce did know,” she confirms, and you hear her straighten her chair to return to work. The comforting sound of her fountain pen starts up again, but you know she's still giving her conversation with your full attention. Mel is like that, able to carry on a hundred tasks at once without breaking a sweat; you wish you had an ounce of her composure.

“Viktor told him after he got drunk last year at the faculty cookout. I believe his exact words were…”

She pauses to do a dramatic imitation of Viktor's voice and tone, “‘Jayce, she is wearing that dress just to put me into an early grave’.”

Not only is it pretty accurate, but God, you know exactly what dress.

The skimpy little sunflower dress that you knew showed way too much chest for a work-related event. You had worn it in the hopes of eliciting any sort of reaction from Viktor; but he had barely spoken to you that afternoon, constantly vanishing every time you entered a room. You assumed you made him uncomfortable with something you said, like you always ended up doing with everyone else.

So you had left the party on the arm of some nameless T.A. from the law department, hoping it would help you forget Viktor, just for a while.

It hadn't.

“And I knew,” Mel continues smoothly in her regular voice, “because I know what it's like to want someone to notice you so badly. To want someone to love you back.”

You detect something very personal in the way she pronounces the word ‘love’, almost like it's painful to even say.

Mel rarely talks about herself, preferring to listen to the stories of everyone around her. Everything about her gives an air of mature confidence and independence, and if she ever has any issues in her personal life, she never shares them with you, or anyone that you know of.

She's not cold by any means, and she helps everyone with genuine care, that, you are absolutely certain of. But you can feel there's a side of her she desperately wants to keep to herself. She's only ever mentioned her mother once, in a drunken haze, muttering something under her breath about never being enough for her.

You wonder if that's the person who’s love she’s longing for.

When she speaks again, there is something akin to nostalgia lingering in her voice:

“You get that special look in your eyes. You both looked at each other just like that, but neither of you ever noticed.”

You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes. Fucking ironic. You can never seem to stop talking, but now, the words you want to tell her just won't come.

Mel doesn't seem to mind, though, and the sound of pen scrapping paper picks up again. You force yourself out of your leather cavern, sitting up on the couch to look at her directly.

“…Why didn't you say anything?” you ultimately settle with, but it rings much more fragile and hurt than you wanted it to.

She gives a small shrug without looking away from her documents:

“Not my place to. Viktor needed to confront his feelings head-on, and you needed to realize you were never not enough or too much for him,” she states matter-of-factly, “It's that simple.”

Everything always seems so easy when it comes from Mel's lips. But in your mind, thoughts are jumbled, emotions are running wild, and everything you thought you knew about the last four years is falling apart.

Maybe, that time on New Year’s Eve when he told you there was no other place he'd rather be, he hadn't meant at the party. He had meant with you.

Maybe, when he had taken your hand, it wasn't just because you were excitedly counting down the last seconds until midnight. It was because he wanted to touch you just as much as you wanted to touch him.

Maybe, at the end of that night and in those early morning hours, when he had said you would make someone really happy one day…he was asking if it could be him.

“Maybe,” you **exhale bitterly, enunciating the world like a curse, “it would actually be simple if he just answered my texts, or my calls. Or anything I do to try and reach him.”

Yeah, you're to blame for being so blind for so long. For noticing the smallest things about everyone else, but missing all the signs when it came to him.

But so is he for refusing to talk about it now that you finally see it.

“At this point, I’m seriously starting to consider lock-picking their apartment,” you grumble, more in tiredness than anger; you can't even manage to stay mad at him for longer than a minute. “He’s the one who showed me how to do that, did I ever tell you that?”

She lets out a soft laugh at that; but when she glances over to you, there's a hint of something new in her eyes.

“I'm sure he would enjoy seeing you put your training to use, but there might be another way to see him. I think he's had more than enough time playing hide and seek.”

You know that glint in her forest-green stare; she knows something you don't, and she’s chosen to reveal it to you. You almost jump off the couch with your eyes wide, so quickly you almost lose your balance:

“Mel, what do I do?”

She snorts as she motions for you to sit back down with a calming wave of her hand, amusement clear on her face.

“Calm down. I wouldn't tell anyone about this normally,” she begins, lowering her voice in secrecy, as if you’re not the only two in the room, “and I want to make it very clear you did not receive this information from me.”

You nod eagerly in agreement, hanging on to her every word.

“Go to their apartment,” she declares with certainty. “If you keep going after their door and to the end of the corridor, there's a big potted plant on the window sill. An orchid.”

You frown in confusion.

You've only been to Viktor and Jayce's apartment a few times in the couple of years you've known them. Usually for relaxed group hangouts, or an occasional game night. You remember very little about it other than the all-consuming childish excitement of being in Viktor’s home, and the absolutely not innocent thought of his bedroom being barely a few feet away.

Why don't you ever remember the important things?

You try to muster every memory you have of the apartment complex itself instead; they live on the third floor, and their door is the second one on the right after the elevator. The hallway is a straight, narrow line, and you've noticed how dark it always is every time you’ve visited.

Dark, yes, that's right, because aside from a cheap light fixture, there’s only one window that lets any light into the hallway, at the very end of the corridor. One window, that is almost entirely blocked by the world's most decrepit potted plant.

“The… really ugly one?” you ask with uncertainty.

Mel snaps her fingers in confirmation, a hint of perfect pearly white teeth shining between her lips.

“I think you may find something of interest under it. Jayce told me about it for whenever I want to…” she hesitates on her next word, uncharacteristically a little bashful, “visit.”

Oh, you fucking knew it.

“I totally-” you start triumphantly.

“Yes, I know, you knew it for months,” she interrupts, waving her hand in dismissal. Her lower lip sticks out slightly, almost like she's pouting. You've never seen her this embarrassed. “It's incredible how you notice everything about everyone else, but when it's about you, you suddenly forget how to use your own eyes.”

Touché.

You've sensed it for at least a year now, the unspoken electricity between the two of them. How her arm sometimes lingers just a second too long on his shoulder, how his hands seem to always accidentally brush her waist. For as subtle as they were being, there was no mistaking the fire when they looked at each other.

Did Viktor ever look at you like that, too?

Why hadn't you ever noticed?

“Wait, wait,” you interrupt your own train of thought. “The orchid. Why is the orchid…”

You pause when the realization hits you like a bucket of cold water.

Oh.

Oh.

“Do… do they have a set of keys under the orchid?” you ask slowly.

“I didn't say that,” Mel says, bringing her two hands up in self-defence; but the smile lingering on her lips tells another story. “And if you say I did, I will deny it and throw you under the bus with every inch of my power as the advisor for the debate club. Are we clear?”

You could kiss her.

You settle with a tight hug, holding her with as much force as you can muster. The scent of her perfume, bitter and floral, masks the decrepit smell of the room for just a moment. Is there any problem Mel can’t solve?

“Mel, you're the best,” you grin against her ear.

“So I'm told,” she hums. She gently detaches herself from the hug, giving you an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Now go. I don't like seeing you mop around my teacher's lounge, and I can't stand when Viktor performs his little disappearing act instead of talking things out.”

She picks her pen back up, giving you one last genuine look of support, voice soft, sincere: “You two are really meant for each other. Give him hell.”

—

Viktor is much less attentive than people give him credit for.

That’s not to say he’s oblivious or careless. In fact, when it comes to his work, he could instantly notice a tenth of a millimeter discrepancy from a mile away. He could hear the slightest abnormal murmur in the heart of any machine, and pinpoint its exact origin within seconds. Throw a blindfold on top, and he'd still know exactly where to place each and every single component of his prosthetic models.

But when it comes to the world outside his lab, his attention to detail just plummets.

If a bomb went off right outside his apartment, he probably wouldn't even look up from his notes. Jayce usually has to call his name thrice to pull him out of the trance-like state he gets into when he's sketching up a new idea, and that's only because he's used to Jayce's voice; for someone else, he might not hear it at all.

Even walking home from campus, he pays no attention to his surroundings, lost in his thoughts of valves, hydraulic cylinders, and flexion plates. He mechanically follows the same path he's walked thousands of times, a habit so ingrained in him it allows him to fully disconnect and think of nothing but work.

He's glad he has such a strong grip on his own mind, because if he didn't, he would let his practical ideations slowly morph into thoughts of nothing but you. You, who he hasn't seen in two weeks, because he likes to pretend change can't happen if he simply refuses to acknowledge it. It's much better to focus on what he actually has control over, to lose himself entirely in the things that make sense to him. To forget the world burning around him.

And that's exactly why he doesn't realize you’re in his apartment, sitting on his couch about ten feet away from him, until you make a pointed cough to signal your presence.

“Ah,” is the only thing he manages to get out.

He wishes he'd be surprised, but then again, he knew you would find your way to him eventually. He could keep trying to bury himself in work and avoid you with every inch of his power, you would not stop until you got answers to your questions. You’re just as stubborn as he is. That's part of why he fell for you.

So, there's nothing he can do, but let out a defeated sigh.

“I would ask how you got in here,” he starts flatly, taking off his coat robotically to place it on the hanger, “but I have a feeling it doesn't really matter.”

You don't react to his distant, tired tone, your expressive face unusually devoid of emotion when you speak.

“I didn't use your lockpicking lessons, if you're wondering.”

He can't help but snort at that:

“Disappointing.”

You both stay silent as he slowly takes off his boots and removes his wool scarf. The atmosphere isn't exactly awkward, but it's not comfortable either. Like a cheap, stiff version of the warm intimacy you usually share.

You've always been so easy to read, and anything that didn't show on your face always came from your lips. He always knows how you feel: he's observed every single expression on your face, from the slightest pout to the biggest grin, and committed it to memory with the dedication he only ever puts into his projects.

From the day you literally crashed in his life four years ago, utterly drunk and analyzing him with astonishing accuracy, he's felt the need to analyze you, too. To decipher every part of you, understand each component, each reaction. He craved the idea of knowing you like a cartographer knows the maps of the world, like an astronomer knows the place of every star. To understand you as you had understood him, with a single glance.

Right now, he has no idea what you're thinking.

In typical fashion, you're the one who ultimately breaks the ice first:

“You could kick me out,” you declare, staring him down almost challengingly. “I'll leave if you really want me to.”

There's clear apprehension and hurt in your voice, a bitterness you're trying your best to hide, but failing. He despises being the one to make you feel that way. He's become no better than any of your exes.

“We both know I won't do that,” he exhales. He's still standing in the entryway, just a few steps away from the threshold of the living room. There's no hiding anymore, no backing out. You're here, and he has to face you. Even if it breaks him.

“In the kitchen, second drawer on the left,” he says, making his way inside resignedly. “There's a rather large bread knife inside it. It hasn't been sharpened in a while, but it should do.”

Your passive expression falls for a second and you stare at him in confusion.

“Do for what?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

“Killing me to spare us both the embarrassment of this conversation,” he answers unenthusiastically.

You're the one who snorts, this time. If he could forget why you're here, he could almost pretend this is just a regular talk between close friends. Almost.

You get off the couch without hurry, stretching your limbs lazily; he wonders if you've been waiting for him for a while. You're still in your usual work clothes, but your hair is dishevelled, and your makeup is a bit smudged. Had these been different circumstances, this would be the kind of look he would imagine you in when he's alone in bed, but that's exactly the kind of treacherous impulse that's led him to this situation in the first place.

There's a strange shimmer in your eyes when you look at him again:

“You got any booze in that kitchen ?”

He’s starting to realize no matter how many years you give him, he’ll probably never be able to completely figure out what's going on in that brain of yours.

“You want to drink. Right now,” he states in disbelief.

You shrug:

“Seems like you listened to me when I was drunk last time. Maybe that'll get your attention again.”

There's an undeniable bitterness under the light sarcasm. It's deserved, frankly. And maybe a drink would make what's inevitably coming less difficult.

“First cabinet to the right. You can take the clear unlabeled bottle,” he offers.

You hum in approval, making your way to the kitchen without looking back at him. He makes his way to the couch, sitting at the opposite end of where you had been.

You come back with the bottle in one hand, and two mismatched shot glasses in the other. One is his, a souvenir from an academic conference in Marseilles; the silver lettering simply states ‘Ainsi va la vie’, ‘such is life’. He has to wonder if you chose it on purpose, to taunt him.

Although, the other one is Jayce's, and it's shaped like the torso of a woman with huge breasts in a bikini top with the colours of his old college. So it's equally as likely you just grabbed the first ones you found.

He always overthinks when he's anxious.

You put the three items down on the rectangular table in front of him, before sinking into the couch next to him. Your bodies aren't touching, shoulders an adequate distance from each other, but the proximity is still unnerving. The smell of your perfume, usually so comforting, makes him feel slightly ill.

You pour the alcohol into the shot glasses unhurriedly, progressively filling them both to the brim.

“Did you know Mel and Jayce are together?” you ask, not looking up from your task.

“Unfortunately so,” he mutters sourly.

You pause at that, perplexed.

“No, that is not what I meant, I am very happy for them,” he clarifies quickly. “But their decision to keep it a secret has been rather… precarious for me.”

You slide a glass towards him and give him a smile; the first one of the day, the first one in two weeks.

“You walked in on them fucking, didn't you?”

He groans, and you laugh. God, he missed that sound.

“I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life,” he complains, wrapping his hand around the shot glass. He notices with gratitude it's the plain one and not its heavily endowed sibling. “Being able to run had never seemed more appealing.”

You grab your own glass, the smile on your lips genuine, but fragile. The words still left unsaid hang above you both, and he's forced to remember this is but a moment of respite before everything falls apart.

“Maybe a drink will help you forget,” you joke, holding up the glass in his direction.

How he wishes it would.

“Maybe, maybe not,” he simply answers, bringing his glass to yours until they hit with a light clink. “Cheers.”

Your gaze holds his captive as you speak, like you're reaching into the depths of his very being.

“Na zdravià.”

You throw your head back and down the shot before he has time to voice his surprise, so he does the same, not wanting to break the unspoken rules of the toast; his ancestors would roll in their graves.

The liquid burns his throat almost instantly, the familiar warmth of alcohol settling into his body. It’s strong, powerful, but there’s a recognizable hint of plum and almonds that's comforting to him.

He can’t help a discreet, fond smile as your face scrunches from the sharp taste.

“I-I don't think I've ever had that before,” you cough out, your eyes slightly watery. It's endearing that no matter how much you drink, you never seem to build a tolerance to the sting of strong spirits.

“Slivovice. Plum brandy. The homemade ones are noticeably sharper than what they sell in stores here. Although… perhaps not as legal.”

You let out an amused cough, wiping away any tears before they get the chance to fall, smudging your mascara even more. But you're still smiling at him, decided, bold, never letting yourself be defeated by anything. It's like he's falling for you all over again in that single moment, outside of time and space.

Even in his darkest moments, when all else crumbles, you remain the unwavering light he can always find in the sky.

“I am a little surprised you remembered how to say that,” he admits softly.

What he had meant as a compliment seems to come off as a reproach in your eyes, and the smile falls, ending the magic of the instant.

“It may not always look like it, but I listen to you, Viktor,” you mumble, hurt. “I'm not an idiot, either.”

“I did not mean to imply-” he protests, but the words die in his throat. He opens his mouth by reflex, before closing it again; the sentence lingers incomplete in the air.

“…Why did you hang up?”

Here it is.

“Ah, so we're jumping into the questioning already. Alright,” he sighs. He chooses to stare at the bottom of his empty glass to avoid seeing your reaction. It's pitiful, but it'll spare him some of the pain and embarrassment. “I did not want to listen to what you would say, this once. I was scared if I heard your answer, it would all be real. Unchangeable.”

Change. Viktor had never been scared of the concept before. Change means something new, passing from one state to another, an evolution. It means progress. Nothing could ever be as gratifying, as glorious, as making the changes you want to see in the world.

But he didn't want you to change. He wanted you to stay just as you are, always excitedly talkative and brilliantly observant. Always shinning. A star brighter than any other, that could never fade no matter how the world treated her.

Revealing his feelings for you would have put that in harm’s way. You might think he had never truly been interested in your conversations, in all those ideas and words you feel so self-conscious about, and lose the trust you had in him as a friend.

He couldn't take that risk.

“So… you avoided me for two weeks ?” you scoff in disbelief.

He lets out a short, bitter laugh:

“I would have attempted longer if you did not break into my apartment.”

The poor attempt at a joke doesn't seem to land very well with either of you. The atmosphere feels still and heavy, the strange tension palpable.

“Ok,” you exhale, leaning your head back against the back of the couch. “You can ask me a question now.”

He glances at you in surprise:

“A question? Why?”

“So it's equal. I ask you one, you ask me one,” you explain simply, like it's the most basic rule of conversation in the world. “I haven't been attentive to what you were trying to tell me, for a long time. I need to change that.”

He hesitates for a second. There's a lot he wants to ask you. Had things been different, would you ever have considered him as someone you could fall for? If he could change the timing, the place, the words, would anything have made it so you could have loved him?

“You read people so easily,” he almost whispers. “I always assumed you knew how felt for you, but were too nice to tell me off. That you did not want to break what we had.”

It’s time. It's time for change. There is no other choice than to move forward. He continues:

“I am… sorry that I fell in love with you.”

Ah…

The weight seems slightly lighter on his chest. It's not a good feeling, exactly, but there's a certain peace that comes with finally having said it.

The expression on your face is yet again one he doesn't recognize.

“I'm not. I’m not sorry, Viktor,” you breathe out, hardly any louder than his respiration.

Your hand touches his, just barely, and he flinches, pulling away. But you refuse to back off. You reach for him again, your fingers timidly touching his own.

“Maybe I did know, in a way,” you reflect, a single digit moving across his knuckles, the ghost of a caress, “but I wouldn't let myself believe it. I didn't want to lose the only person I’ve ever felt wanted to listen to me. So… I stopped listening to my instincts, I guess.”

You let out a shaky laugh.

“I talk all the goddamn time and I don't even listen to myself.”

He turns his hand around, letting your index trace the lines of his palm instead.

“A fortune teller who can't read her own cards,” he teases gently. “Ironic.”

You scoff with a smile; your fingers intertwine, tentative.

“You're one to talk, asshole,” you huff playfully, “the big smart professor who can't figure out when someone is in love with him.”

His heart stops beating in his chest.

“Ah. You... you lo-” he stops himself before finishing his sentence, scared of pronouncing the word. He takes a shaky breath before he attempts again: “You feel the same way I…?”

He leaves the question open. He's still hesitant to make it real. Of saying the words that'll shift things. Because damn it, yes, Viktor is scared of change when it comes to you.

“I’m in love with you, Viktor,” you smile, like it's the most natural thing in the world. “Did the part where I broke into your apartment just to talk to you not give that away?”

What a strange feeling. He's dreamed of hearing those words from your mouth for so long, never believing they would, and yet it feels so right. As if you had told him a thousand times before this moment.

Maybe you had, in your own way.

He squeezes your hand, the sensation of your skin against his making it all feel impossibly real.

“I suppose we're both idiots,” he sighs gently, eyes locking into yours. “The blind oracle, and the clueless teacher. What a dynamic duo we make.”

Your forehead meets his, your nose just barely tickling his.

“I'd say we make a good duo. You and me,” you grin. You're so close he can feel the warmth of your breath on his lips. He smiles.

“I'd say so as well.”

Taglist Darlings ❤️ : @soniiyi , @mischievous-piltovan , @just1cefor4ll , @luv-urself-first, @girlidkthinkofsmth , @starflesh-moth , @raynoway, @vyshnevaka , @ash-84321 , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

[malinthebodyguard]

Young Royals is anti-monarchist propaganda (always has been) 

I think it’s fair to say that most of the fandom was quite happy with the finale. However, I’ve seen a handful of posts by people who were unhappy, specifically  those who were unhappy with Wille giving up his place in the line of succession. These criticisms range in everything from dismissing Wille’s choice (Wilhelm has made a harsh decision without thinking of the consequences, this won’t actually make the media circus around him go away), to those disappointed in how the monarchy in general was represented (Wille could have modernized the institution, no one in the show attempted to consider how the monarchy could be good, actually). I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s feelings about the finale. If you didn't like it, that’s more than ok and I don’t want to argue with anyone about their taste. 

But when it comes to criticism about Wilhelm giving up the throne,  I do find myself frustrated at what I see as a fundamental misunderstanding of what this show was trying to communicate. Young Royals, plain and simple, is a story that  denounces the incompatibility of antiquated and hierarchical institutions (Hillerska, the monarchy) with equality and justice. 

If you’ve had the displeasure of being my fandom friend you’ll know that I’ve spent the last 3 years yelling about how this show is about abolishing the monarchy. I even wrote a lengthy  fanfic with the sole excuse of having Wilhelm arrive at this conclusion. Still, I knew that whatever statement the show wanted to arrive at, we’d only really be getting to it at the end of the show. 

Seasons one and two were setting up all the characters on the chessboard for the end: Wilhelm is the Crown Prince, although he does not want to be. He and Simon are in love, but Wilhelm’s role drives a wedge between them. Erik’s legacy and August's spot next in line are keeping Wilhelm in his place.

 From episode one, I think the show was telling us about the many things that are wrong with the monarchy, but I don’t think it’s until season three that these discussions become more explicit. Is this why some people were disappointed by the ending? Maybe so. Still, I wanted to look at how season three in particular answers some of the questions or issues  people are bringing up regarding both the monarchy and the Wilhelm’s choice. 

What do you like about the monarchy? 

Season 3 Episode 4 is the first time we hear an explicit discussion about why the monarchy could potentially be a good institution. I’ve seen some people complain that the show didn’t give this idea enough thought. 

I completely disagree with this take: the short conversation Wille and Simon have in this episode  is succinct, but still effective at presenting both arguments in this debate. A  longer and more drawn out conversation would have been a bit unrealistic and probably boring to watch. These are not academics having a debate, but two teenagers who are talking about what for them is emotionally charged.

There’s also no need for a longer, more detailed discussion. Wilhelm does provide a very good answer to the question: The monarchy is there to unite the people. To be a neutral party in situations when the government cannot or will not interfere. 

A quick civics lesson: In parliamentary democracies, the monarch serves as the Head of State. 

This role is predominantly representative, although in many places the government is formed in the name of the monarch. This could, theoretically, grant them some political power-- since they could technically reject the winning party from forming a government. However, in most parliamentary monarchies, the King or Queen simply has to accept whatever decision is made based on election results.

However, the value of the Head of State is precisely in its apolitical nature. Regardless of who’s in power, the head of state is a neutral ambassador of the nation, both in and outside of their country. Their job is diplomatic and representative, and one that is thoroughly divorced from politics. This is what Wilhelm meant when he said that the monarchy was there to ‘unite the people’. Whenever I’ve spoken to pro-monarchy folks about their beliefs, they cite this as the reason why they like it. 

It’s easy to see why Wilhlem would latch on this as his main argument to defend the institution. I don’t think there is anything inherently bad about having a separate head of state that represents the country. I don’t think the major grip with this issue is the having a head of state, but the fact that the head of state is a hereditary position. Simon says this himself twice in this episode: the issue is not that the head of state exists, but that the head of state is not an elected position. Furthemore, the head of state is a role that is imposed on a person not by their talent as a public speaker or negotiator, but by a simple accident of birth. 

The job’s legitimacy or importance should not be above any individual’s right to autonomy and self-determination. Furthermore, considering that taxpayers are the ones who finance this position, shouldn’t they be able to elect who it is? 

Let’s imagine a scenario where a friend tells you they’ve gone into a career because everyone in their family works in that industry, and they simply had no choice in the matter. It wouldn’t even matter if they were good or bad, they had a job in this career guaranteed from birth. 

 Would you not be concerned that maybe your friend is unhappy for a rather unnecessary reason? Would you not think that perhaps someone who actually wanted the job would be better suited for it? Would you think it right for a company to hire someone simply because of their family history? Would you consider any of this fair? And what is so special about monarchy that makes us have a different answer for it than we would if the question was about law or medicine? 

You’ll always be famous. 

Another common criticism I’ve seen is that Wilhelm will inevitably regret his decision, especially once he realizes that public scrutiny will not be going away. This is true, Wilhelm will likely always  be a figure of public interest. But to me, this has always been a negative consequence of the monarchy, and I have a hard time seeing this is a valid reason why he should stay in it. 

From the second we meet him, we know Wilhelm is uncomfortable with both the public attention and the scrutiny placed on him. However, this goes a bit further than that. I’d argue than more than the  scrutiny itself,  Wilhelm is weighed down by having to keep a public image. Because, remember folks, Wilhelm is not merely an awkward teenage boy with acne and a crush. No, no, Wilhelm is the State. Wilhelm is going to be a publicly-funded representative of the nation . This means, of course, that there’s a narrative, as he mentions himsef, that needs to be put forward. One that’s generic, serious, and unproblematic: 

From the get go, Wilhelm is uncomfortable with the inauthentic and performative aspect of his role.This is a constant we see with Wilhelm in seasons one and two: every ‘performance’ he has to do fills him with nausea, anxiety, or some sort of discomfort.

In season three, Wilhelm begins acquiescing to this performance. Uncomfortable as he may be, for most of season 3 he’s accepted that this is his role. However, the attention this season shifts from Wilhelm to Simon, who’s now the one facing public scrutiny. The difference is that, unlike Wille, there’s no role for Simon to play. Nothing about who he is or what he believes is compatible with the public image the monarchy is putting forward. The only thing he can do in this situation is disappear, and Wilhelm is tasked with having to ask that of him. 

I know a lot of people were exasperated at Simon’s very bad and clumsy social media presence. I’m not gonna argue that my boy wasn’t being a bit cringey, because he absolutely was. But I think the larger commentary here has more to do with the expectation that these two teenagers have to censor and edit themselves to comply with a particular PR image. 

Ultimately, the criticism that Wilhelm will always be famous leads us straight back to the institution. Why does an underage boy have the same PR expectations as a politician? Why is a teenager dating his classmate + being cringe online justification for doxxing him? Unfortunately, no abdication is really going to undo any of this, and things are certainly going to be crazy once Wilhelm announces he’s stepping down .

However, this time around both he and Simon will at least have the agency to decide what they want to do with their public image, including the decision to disappear from the public completely if that’s what they want.

Queer representation 

This a sentiment that has been in the fandom for some time now. This was the main argument why some people wanted Wille to stay in the monarchy. Sure, the institution has always been about bloodlines and tradition. But wouldn’t it be so nice to have Wilhelm as a symbol for the queer community? I’ve always found this idea a bit shallow. I’m not sure how much of a symbol of a queer and progressive country Wilhelm could be, when the whole idea is predicated on absolutely no one having a choice in the matter. Is it really impressive to accept the queerness of the guy you already had no choice in accepting?  

There’s three scenes in season 3 where the potential Wilhelm -and by extension Simon-  could have for the queer community come up.  Farima brings it up in the first episode, but the framing here is reversed. Wilhelm isn’t serving the LGBTQ community by being a queer Prince, but the monarchy is using Wilhelm (and his queerness) to appear progressive.

The show, however, does humor this idea with the May 1st photo. We see what Simon and Wilhelm could potentially do for the community by simply existing as who they are: they’re inspirational. It gives Simon, briefly, hope that maybe something good could come out of this. 

But this moment is quite literally framed by politics. It doesn't matter that Simon is not participating in that manifestation, anything that is slightly connected with politics is a challenge to neutrality of the monarchy. This same idea is stated more explicitly int the next episode, when Wilhelm is reviewing the options for his charity.

Ultimately, any action significant enough to be truly impactful, would be bordering the limits of what could be considered political. He's got to stick it out with these quite frankly boring and limited themes, all for the sake of staying on the very narrow lane of things that are not political.

The weight of the crown. 

Stories about Kings and Queens usually carry the same fundamental tension of duty vs self. 

In order to rule, our protagonist has to sacrifice themselves, usually for the sake of their country and people. The Crown is an excellent example of this type of story. Sacrifice in that series is framed as something noble and selfless. 

Young Royals started out with this same fundamental tension, but the main difference is that Young Royals has framed this debate as a question: 

Why should Wilhelm give himself up, his happiness, the love of his life, and  his mental well-being? What’s so important and valuable about this institution that requires this sacrifice?

Wilhelm’s journey is about accepting and voicing his answer. He doesn’t want to be Crown Prince, he doesn’t want to be King. 

But by virtue of taking part of this journey with him, we’re able to examine this question from a different perspective: Is this institution valuable enough to justify all of this? I think the show is inviting all of us to evaluate this situation and arrive at the conclusion that it isn’t.

Even someone like August, who wanted this, is weighed down by the realization of just how much the crown weighs. Of course, a big part of the fandom probably doesn’t live in countries with parliamentary monarchies. Still, considering the worldwide popularity of the British Royals, for example, I still think it’s a worthwhile exercise to question the validity of these institutions. Are they really worth sustaining? And if they’re not, why should we continue to drag them on into the present, citing tradition?

[vyl3tpwny]

genuine question: why is genesis so low on ur topsters?

also, if you can: could i hear why hawaii: part ii is rated 3.5 on ur rateyourmusic? (as opposed to like. anything higher)

(p. s. your music inspires me to be the sincerest version of myself, and for that i thank you. the impact you've had on my life is unforgettable.)

genesis isn't rated low. my number one album of all time is genesis' "the lamb lies down on broadway", for about 16 years running. my topster is organized by relative colour, it's not perfect but it just looks nice!

—

when it comes to talking about music, what i like and like about it, almost 100% of the time i NEVER want to discourage people, talk down to artists, or claim my opinion as fact. the only time i will actively talk down about art is if it's purposefully harmful (see artists like: Tom Macdonald, etc).

with that said, music by miracle musical - and by extension tally hall - often does this thing where there are a handful of really impressive, well written songs that just blow me away. but then the rest of the album outside of those handful of songs are either just ok/catchy or don't interest me very much. the tally hall gang's highs are very high, and equally their lows are just sort of pace-killers for the albums.

it's dynamics like these that prevent me from liking some of my other albums for similar problems! i think albums like queen of misfits and glitter are bogged down by an absurd amount of boring filler that could have just been left out or reworked to be more interesting, it makes it hard to ever listen to those albums front to back. ironically i don't feel that way about fairytails, my 40-song long ass album, almost everything in it still feels rather purposeful to me. i listen to my own music a lot, and once i've finished a project i tend to try and listen to it and enjoy it from an audience perspective rather than an artist one.

while i'm on the topic, i don't necessarily agree with even rating hawaii pt. ii 3.5 because in the past few years i've completely lost interest in the idea of weighing albums by arbitrary scores. nowadays i like to just give 4-5's to albums i like and then ignore anything else. it doesn't really make sense to me to assign a number score to something with good faith, other than to show that score to other people. interfacing with art is not a black and white process. despite the so-called 3.5/5.0 score i gave hawaii pt. ii whenever that was, the reality is that record has influenced me and i've enjoyed it. honestly that's what matters the most. we can sit here and talk album dynamics, technicalities, compositional proficiency, lyric profundity, and """""consistency"""""" (which is a word music critics love to throw around without actually realizing what the fuck they're talking about) all day, but what matters the most is:

Did you like the music? (Yes/No)

Did it inspire you in some way? (Yes/No) [Optional]

Does it seek to do harm? (Yes/No)

Do you respect the efforts and goals of the artist? (Yes/No) [Should always be the inverse of Question 3; i.e; if you answer No to 3, then you should answer Yes to 4]

honestly if you answer yes, yes, no, yes, then it's a good album. i really don't care. not every piece of art has to push the envelope to new heights and be the most innovative thing in the world - i mean wouldn't that be extremely fatiguing and overwhelming? everyone wants to be a critic and tear down shit that doesn't click with them within the first viewing/listen these days, i don't know why, it's probably an ego thing, bred by the echo chambers in the corners of the internet. but a lot of music criticism can be COMPLETELY discarded in favour of "this just isn't for me", and a lot of people go leaps and bounds, doing mental gymnastics over internal compensations, to just avoid saying the dreaded phrase of "this just isn't for me".

trust me, i'm someone who has immense experience with tearing other people down to compensate for my internal insecurities, it happens extremely often which is why a lot of art criticism makes ZERO fucking sense. it's never about making meaningful commentary about anything, it's always just trying to justify in the format of a dissertation - the subjective experience of "this just isn't for me".

so. do i like hawaii pt. ii? yep. is it a perfect album? no. why did i rate it 3.5? probably because at the time i wanted someone somewhere to perceive me as Very Articulated and Well Educated In The Realm of Discussing Art In Front of Other People, in Order to Appear Superior in Intellect and Refined in Taste, Because I'm Insecure Just Like Everyone Else.

[hsficrecommendation]

Hello Everyone! This is masterlist #4 (June of 2023!) for the all fics I have reblogged on this side blog I hold super close to me. Remember to leave feedback and reblog all the writings below!

Also, a huge thank you to all the writers mentioned, I adore you so very much and I hope you keep writing for yourselves <3

••• JUNE •••

Valentine's Day | Y/N receives a special candy gram on Valentine’s Day. - @nationalharryleague

French Fries | Harry kept glancing at her as he drove. “M’sorry about our date,” he whispered. “I don’t know what you’re apologizing for,” she shrugged and reached over to squeeze his arm while he held the steering wheel. “I had a lovely time.” - @1d1195

Shy | Close | Motherly Love | Don't Leave Me | Mother's Day | ♡ When Harry runs into a perfect stranger at a supermarket, he doesn’t know what to expect. After having been single for over a year and raising Amelia without a mother, dating somebody new feels impossible… that is, until she wins over the heart of his daughter. - @harry-writings

Vogue Beauty Secrets | Actress!Y/N does the Vogue Beauty Secrets video, and Harry decides to help. - @astranva

Gonna be Better in the Morning | Jeff and reader get into a fight and Harry takes Jeff's side. (As always, there is a happy ending with lots of comforts) - @harryhoney-bee

Work of Art | A cute little fluffy artist!Harry piece with a hint of angst! - @nationalharryleague

Update | The Best Present | Harry falls for a mysterious girl from YouTube. - @watchmegetobsessed

When The Levee Breaks | You're a waitress and Harry is being stood up. - @songbirdstyles

Playball | ♡ The reader owns a bakery and hates baseball, but what happens when her town’s bigshot MLB player walks into her bakery and she finds herself catching feelings unaware of his occupation? - @writingsbymarie

The Con Artist | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | ♡ You're a wanted criminal and when Harry Styles, the detective on the case, finally catches up to you- he finds it difficult to resist your charms. - @gurugirl

Baby Steps | You’re Harry’s son's therapist, and he isn’t the only one you end up helping. - @enthusiasticharry

Mute | ♡♡ Where Harry doesn’t talk and falls in love with Y/n. - @harry-writings

Score and Smash | In which their university holds an annual boy vs girl football match, the highly anticipated game of the year has arrived and Harry and Y/N hate each other just as equally until Y/N is under Harry.

Quid Pro Quo | Another lawyer!Harry. Technically six years before this piece. Enemies to lovers with plenty of angst! - @talesofstyles

Six Months (Part 23) | ♡ Layla desperately needs a vacation and her Aunt and Uncle come to her rescue. So, at twenty two, she packs her bag and jets off to America. Harry took a break from education and is now a full fledged content creator on OnlyFans. At twenty, he makes more money than almost all of his friends. What ensues when these two meet and realise the windows in their rooms face each other? How will paper airplanes bring them closer together? - @fishnets-fingers

2022 : Masterlist #1 , #2 , #3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 2023 : Masterlist #1, 2, 3 (June masterlist would be continued in the next list!)

My official writing account in case you'd like to check out my fics too: @0oolookitsme :)

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Ranking all Elden Ring Base Game NPCs by Fuckability. PART 4 of 4 THE TOP 10 MOST FUCKABLE

Why are we here just to suffer? Tumblr has a 30 image limit and there are 91 characters to get through. Don't blame me, blame @azothinc

[PART 1 (91-66) | PART 2 (65-37) | PART 3 (36-11) | PART 4 (Top 10)]

Time for the top 10 finalists, place your last bets now. I think it's obvious what my preferences are.

#10: Millicent

Pros: Badass Valkyrie warrior woman. Cons: Is rotting a little, but not a deal breaker

Reasoning: What is there to say? She's cool, she's tough, she's honorable, she has the pride to hold onto herself even in death. She fights by our side, she sees us an equal. She has just a hint of crazy in her, but not enough to end up killing me. She's like a travel sized Melania but less likely to stab me with anything I don't consent to being stabbed with. Peak lesbian warrior woman, I am down on my knees for her. For sexual purposes? To propose? Why not both?

#9: Iron Fist Alexander

Pros: Perfection personified. Cons: Technically not fuckable.

Reasoning: I don't think Alexander is capable of sex. When it comes to livign Jar biology, the clay seems to be their actual body. The innards are kinda incidental. They can seemingly removed and add them as they see fit, and can exist just fine without them.

Alexander wouldn't want to engage in sex even if offered. He'd probably laugh and say something like "Ah ha! I've heard of this sort of thing between you and your compatriots. A melding of flesh and emotion as it were? Ha ha! Not unlike our innards I bet! I wouldn't bother with such behavior, it's unbecoming of a warrior such as I. Besides, that kind of melding seems to be far less permanent than ours."

However, I am certain that he would let me fuck someone else inside him. He wouldn't even bat an eye, he'd just enjoy the experience of two warriors bonding inside him. "Quite a display of trust to include me in such an intimate little tarry! Hah ha! How wondrous!"

#8: Lunar Princess Ranni

Pros: Mean Sexy Evil Witch Lady Who Kills God Cons: "Are we the baddies?"

Reasoning: I didn't want Ranni to end up this high on the list. She technically can't have sex since she is a doll puppet, and doesn't seem particularly interested anyway.

But I mean... she's the daughter of Radagon and Rennala, two of the horniest most bisexual characters in the entire FromSoft catalogue. (only surpassed by Marika, who is also Radagon.)

If she was in her original red-haired 8 foot tall body, she would literally clench and rip your dick off in a millisecond. She'd bend you over and fuck you so hard your spine would be curled into a pretzel.

No matter how fuckable she was in the past, we have to come to terms with the fact that she is pretty evil. She gets a lot of innocent people killed in her "ends justify the means" methodology. (Her means are pretty good, I mean, killing the Greater Will benefits literally everybody.) But we can't overlook just how many innocents she tramples underfoot. She allies with Rykrad, abuses Albinaurics, and creates the Deathblight plague in her attempt to escape her fate.

It's gonna happen, she's gonna rearrange your guts like an origami calendar no matter what you do. So you might as well steer into the skid.

#7: Fia, The Deathbed Companion

Pros: Enjoys some good warm, lifely vigour Cons: Skeleton Skeleton Skeleton Skeleton Skeleton

Reasoning: Fia is rather complex. She supports the downtrodden, cares for those who need her, and seeks to reshape the word into a kinder place...

But she is also full of bugs. And skeletons. And the lifely vigour of many champions. And you are next.

She is a huge creep, but she fucks so good she brings back the dead. You are legally obligated to obey her and partake in the sweet nectar of the Baldachin Blessing at least once before you become a skeleton, even if it results in you becoming a skeleton way faster than anticipated.

#6: Latenna the Albinauric

Pros: Loyal Companion, Loves Dogs Cons: None, don't you dare say otherwise.

Reasoning: Weirdly enough, Latenna won out against a LOT of other NPCs. She's just a good person with genuinely no faults. Is that boring? Or marriage material? I know my answer. She hates Gideon, she loves dogs, she wants to put a birthing droplet (cum) in Phillia. We have so much in common it's crazy.

#5: Rennala, Queen of the Fullmoon

art credit: @chaospyromancy https://www.tumblr.com/chaospyromancy/679194108441608192/rennala-took-the-dog-in-the-divorce?source=share

Pros: Giant depressed bisexual witch lady Cons: Extremely Divorced

Reasoning: Rennala is the poster child for sexual prowess in the Land's Between. Literally the only feasible way for Radagon to trade up was to marry himself. She can rip a hole in a man's bussy from 50 meters away, and that's WHILE she is depressed.

In her prime, there wouldn't even be a list, because she would have fucked everyone else to death already.

#4: Sorceress Sellen

Pros: Mean, Heretic, Creepy, Crazy Cons: Mean, Heretic, Creepy, Crazy

Reasoning: I really didn't expect her to get this high in the rankings. Sellen is mean, she has committed war crimes, she probably holds the same racist beliefs towards albinaurics and misbegotten that the rest of the Carians do, and she made me kill an old man in silly pants.

But I can't say no to her. Could you? My fist has been inside her soul, that's a bond you can't break even after being smashed into a giant ball of screaming mages.

She is the toxic ex who keeps hitting you up whenever your life is finally back on track, only to ruin it the moment she leaves your bedroom. And you'd do it again happily, no matter how many times it happens.

#3: Patches

Pros: He's Patches Cons: He's Patches

Reasoning: There was originally a different NPC for #3, but Patches stole the position, sorry about that.

Even still, you are already fucking Elden Ring characters. You aren't a real fan if you don't make an exception for him. He's slightly below average in terms of sexual prowess, but I mean... You have to try it out at least once.

#2: Nepheli Loux

Pros: Everything Cons: Nothing

Reasoning: Nepheli is the most morally upstanding character in Elden Ring. She fights for the little guy, she questions her own morals, she tells Gideon to go blow himself, she apologizes to her enemies, she upholds the values and traditions of a vanished civilization.

Plus she is fucking ripped, and is as close to banging Hoarah Loux you can get while managing to survive afterwards. There are more compelling characters, more dangerous characters with more dynamic sexual aspects, but Nepheli has literally no drawbacks as a partner. She's more of a hero than the player is, and that's honestly a sexier quality than most people give it credit for.

Is she is a little bit sad? You fool, you absolute fool. Give her a bird and she will come back as a fucking Queen of an entire kingdom.

She's the #1 sexiest Elden Ring Character for a reason. If given the choice between every other NPC, she is the obvious choice and always-

what do you mean I miscounted? She isn't #1? Well the. who the hell is?

#1: Miriel, Pastor of Vows

Pros: Turtle Pope Cons: Not even gonna consider any.

Reasoning: Not even in a sexual way. He's ascended beyond the need for sex.

But he is our pastor, and all of the NPCs I marry on this list will be officiated by this Turtle. And the consummation of all those marriages will also occur directly in front of him at his request. "All things yearn to be conjoined" indeed.

Rapid-fire list of all the NPC's I'd actually want to marry:

Nepheli Loux

Latenna

Millicent

Yura

Boggart

Melina

Diallos

Blaidd

Roderika

(all of the Valkyrie sisters)

Rogier

Rya

Kalé

Hewg

Boc

Thops

I've noticed that this list was definitely influenced more by "are they a good enough person to justify sex" rather than strictly just "are they hot?" I guess it's because I genuinely don't find jerks attractive. That might be a healthy mentality, but then again I also made these posts, so stable mental health isn't really something I can claim with much confidence right now.

And it is finished... I can't believe I wrote all of this (i mean I can, i just don't like it.)

If this gets enough likes and reblogs I'll... I don't know, rank all the spirit summons by how long they would survive squid game, or be able to catch Kira, or which degree they would get if they went community college. I'll figure it out when I figure it out.

<- Part 1 <- Part 2 <- Part 3

[lesb0]

I'm always trying to stay on the cutting edge of every permutation of our constantly evolving visual culture but the elusiveness of every new form makes it difficult for me, even as one of the youngest possible millennials. in fashion, my freshman students are all wearing 2000s or "y2k" fashion: baggy grungy or baby phat hiphop, with an elevated touch of modesty, good color theory, and a stark awareness of bodily proportion. in memes, legendary 00s icon, lisa frank. its embarrassing to follow influencers with over 10 mil, now, as if it breaks the parasocial connection.

someone asked yesterday if tiktok is now the premier vehicle of visual culture. I open tiktok. on one side, a zoomed in interview with the mother of a shooting victim. but the other side is a compilation of slime videos, a woman cutting soap, life hacks, and chinese "smart" product placements. you can hear and see both. this bizarre genre, I can only recognize as content. on social media, content is technically anything you can doomscroll, the action of spending over 2 hours on a social media feed, a for you page, a timeline, a dashboard to tumblr addicts.

I'm watching cable TV with a girl I'm seeing. the ads are remarkably only geared towards boomers and older gen x. but, so is the 'content', bad action movies made for cable and reruns of 80s/90s TV shows, but the exact same show marathoned in hours long successions.

to be an effective art historian, I have to take things from this ever-shifting visual culture and translate it into the equally fickle and amorphous art world... so what does 'content' look like for museum shows? my first 100+ object loan show was in part by a colleague, a younger curator at BAMPFA. a massive exhibition of all female nonbinary artists, from the 60s PoMo feminists to the self obsessed identity displayers of today. I absolutely LOVED it. I had no problem enthusiastically flitting from object to object, frontwards and in reverse twice, to spend special time with all my favorites. a fave professor stopped me. I hadn't even recognized him in the excitement. he looked bewildered, but laughed about how giddy I was. he didn't write any criticism on the show. my boss at the time, our museum director, told me she thought it was "such a big mess". my favorite lesbian professor clutched onto her wife with an anxious look. my lesbian artist friend had panic attack and put his headphones on in a dark corner. on the other hand, the younger undergrad girls from berkeley looked elated and delighted, flitting around and oohing and aahing at my same pace. I learned one of them was an engineering student named erin who needed a feminist pickup from the disouragement in her male dominated field.

so how has the 'content' show, or the art world reception to them, changed in the past 4 years? well for one, it seems like major flagship institutions are dropping the mononym altogether. as the french impressionists take over the east coast, none of shows feature one painter as a sole focus, but curators use juxtapositions to keep people interested. in MoMAs, monoynym shows are reserved for major retrospectives or figuratively and literally, monolith artists like simone leigh. the older art historians are hesitant to adapt to these changes. one of my favorite shows this summer, over 300 very different collection pieces packed onto the floor and across the hall, wasn't enjoyed by any of the critics I know. My dates all hated it. except one, a hot ADHD butch who had a tiktok doomscrolling addiction.

what does this mean for the future of how shows are displayed.... how do museums let go of the traditional princely standard: 3.5 inch hangings with a 25 degree downwards tilt? is it better or worse to compromise museums into messy 17th century curiosity cabinets?

[moreausposts]

EXORCIST/FALLENWINGS LORE I PULLED OUT OF MY ASS

this is all my personal headcanons and just shit i made up, but viv if you wanna hire me i’m not complaining

first: i see the debate constantly on whether or not exorcists are heavenborn or human souls, and personally i think them being heavenborn is just objectively cooler. it puts a good contrast between the exorcists and the sinners, y’know, since if they were never on earth they never would have met any sinners to gain sympathy for and would be easier to brainwash. that being said, no i don’t think they were ever technically “born” as babies, but i don’t think they spawned as full grown adults either.

because all of the angels’ designs are based on birds, i like the idea of them hatching from eggs. it’s just so silly to me to imagine, i love it sm. so in my head they all hatched from a nest of eggs adam had sera poof into existence once they settled on the agreement that he was permitted to raise an army for the betterment of heaven (he was their mama bird <3) as probably around 3-4 biologically? going off of human years. because while kids would be easier for adam to train, thirty something screaming babies wouldn’t be of much use to him.

all of their names are stupid as fuck, vaggie just got the shortest end of the stick. lute’s full name is literally just lieutenant. half of them are just body parts (wings, legs… vaggie), some get random words that just barely suit them (tall one is tree, short one is pipsqueak), and some of his favorites get instruments (guitar, drumstick, trumpet, and lieutenant gets shortened to lute when she’s not annoying him)

adam chose his favorites before they even hatched btw. he picked all of the coolest eggs and put them into a little pile. (vaggie’s was slightly cracked and a weird shade of pink-ish purple compared to all of the other black and white eggs so he decided she would be vagina right then and there)

also just because of how bratty lute is in canon, she doesn’t give “spent years working to earn her position” to me (don’t get me wrong i love her that’s my bbg) and because her name is literally just lieutenant, i like to think that her egg was the one adam felt the most protective of which is why she was deemed lieutenant before she had even hatched. i also just don’t think he’d want to go through the headache of raising all of the girls equally for them to fight over the position of being his right hand when he could just have one pre-guaranteed and train her separately.

unfortunately, this backfired tremendously! because once the girls started growing up it was pretty clear that lute was the weakest and smallest of them all. yeah, i said it. she was a wimp. it took her like three years just to learn how to fly.

relating to the art above ^ this is how i think lute and vaggie became close!! because while she was pretty strong (honestly probably one of the highest ranking) she also didn’t have many friends. i love the fact that once she’s in hell she starts dressing more feminine and grows her hair out to break away from who she used to be, but while vaggie was younger, especially as a tween-teen she was super super tomboyish. she was seen as kind of aggressive, the troublemaker of the group. but one thing she never did was pick on lute for being weak. i see here protecting her a lot when they were kids.

because it really wasn’t fair to the other girls that adam favored lute so much from day one that her position was guaranteed, and that while they continued to grow and train they still had to take orders from someone so much weaker than them. there was a lot of animosity in their earlier years, especially before the exterminations really started (they were like 14 when the first one happened) and lute got pushed around a lot.

because adam and vaggie were the only two that were nice to her, she developed a super unhealthy attachment style to both of them. while vaggie genuinely cared about lute and wanted to protect her (this isn't me saying adam didn't care about her btw because she was probably the only person he ever actually loved), lute was definitely a moral dilemma for adam. because on one hand, here was this kid that looked up to him so much and he really did feel bad for her, but man was she fucking incompetent at times. still, he didn't boot her from her position as lieutenant, but he didn't do anything to help that unhealthy attachment either. he instead just used it to brainwash her even worse because it's adam and he doesn't know how to express love whatsoever. 😭 he was like a narcissistic parent, basically. if she did everything perfectly just the way he wanted it, she'd be praised and reminded why she was the favorite, but if she made one mistake... it was like a whole other person. and it was overwhelming, but lute did EVERYTHING she could to be what he wanted her to be because she craved validation so badly after being bullied so much. which is exactly why adam kept it up.

I picture her really starting to get it together at around, eh, 15-16?? something like that. old enough that she was beyond sick of being kicked around and desperate to do something about it. it was like an overnight switch. she stopped sleeping and started training on her own time, pushing herself to her limits, putting on a mask. and all of a sudden she was a mini adam without the humor and guitar solos. she was cold, she was viscous, and she was tired of letting other people take advantage of her when she was the one who was supposed to be in charge.

this definitely put a rift between her and vaggie, because the suddenly heartless leader was absolutely not the little kid vaggie took hit after hit to protect. lute didn't understand why vaggie hated the new her when she was so obviously better than she was before, right? but vaggie just wanted her friend back.

that being said, I told y'all these would be fallenwings hcs too. I don't see them being anything more than a situationship, at least pre-canon, but man was it rough. this was THE toxic homoerotic best friend situationship every repressed lesbian teen goes through, except with murder and betrayal!

like were they dating? not officially. but did they make out covered in blood and bruises after fist fighting in the middle of trying to have a conversation about what they were to each other? well well well... 😘

I feel like vaggie really wanted something more with lute, but lute was so in her own head with her own internalized homophobia and newfound fear of being seen as weak as she used to be that the second things started getting too far she got scared and ran. and what was the only way to get vaggie to stop trying to make her feel feelings™ again than to just... make her hate her altogether. it's easier that way, right? vaggie sparing the sinner was just the perfect excuse to justify herself.

though, who am I kidding? lute spent the next three years crying herself to sleep using her ex situationship's shirt as a pillowcase because her dumbass tried to kill her... and as soon as vaggie crashed back into her life alive and with a girlfriend... well, if at first you don't succeed!

thank you for reading this long ass ramble 😭 here's a baby lute as a bonus:

[somedayillbepeterpan]

Finally, I am able to continue this series.

I started doing The Butterfly Ball analysis as a way to get it out of my head because it had burrowed deep inside my brain that it was rotting my thoughts (which still hasn't stopped).

To understand my ramblings fully, you can go to the other parts here:

Start here | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Here we go for: PART 5: BLOCKING AND WHERE COLIN WAS WHILE PEN WAS REVEALING HERSELF AS LW

I've decided to chop this part into smaller pieces too because when I started part 5, the whole thing was way too long for my attention span. I really am so sorry about the deluge of thoughts that I have for this scene. I'm half tempted to copy Sammy Bates and create videos but I do not have the same talent that she has. So, you're stuck with me and my barrage of written thoughts.

Anyway, Part 5.1 - The stage layout

We've talked about the shape of the venue. We've talked about the aesthetics of the event. We've talked about clothes. And we've talked about music and dances.

Now, let's get to the nitty-gritty of things. Let's talk about the blocking of the whole scene. To start it off, we have to understand the layout of stage.

Just for context, at one point in my life, I studied cinematography and I love movies so I get keyed up with blocking and camera angle choices.

To give importance to how important this scene is, sweeping/panning shots that is 360 degrees in motion with about 150, maybe 200 people, in one room is a nightmare in logistics. Every shot has to matter and every shot has to be reviewed and set up precisely. Most of the ball scenes takes 1 week to shoot because of how technical it is. There is an interview of Tom Verica talking about plotting the whole scene (I think it was the Vanity Fair one).

The particular weight of this ball is shown in how it's set-up like a centre stage. Even the lighting and the floor design draws your attention inward. Out of the three seasons' Ep 8 balls, this is the only one elevated and without anything disrupting the centre.

I've drafted a diagram to fully understand how the whole stage looks like.

**you guys are allowed to call me crazy after this post.

There are 4 major sides that I will call anchor points as we go around this layout.

Entrance (in between the two bug cages)

Side entrance 1

Side entrance 2

Ostrich feathers

One particular stand out for me are the pillars around the stage. The pillars hides and distinctly divides each of the 4 anchor points. While this might go past a regular viewers' head, someone looking for it (or a crazy person like me) will understand the significance of each anchor point. It helps easily assign people on each side and and use blocking (+ camera shots) as a great storytelling device.

These 4 anchor points become very important when Pen goes on stage.

Because every single one of it stands an important woman in Pen's life.

(going clockwise from the entrance) Anchor point 1: Prudence by the entrance

Anchor point 2: Portia by side entrance 1

Anchor point 3: Philippa (+ Albion) by the Ostrich feathers

and Eloise (next to Fran, Alice Mondrich, and Lady Danbury) right by Anchor point 4: Side entrance 2

I just loved that every time Pen turned around, there was someone for her to look at and ground herself. Because what she did, being vulnerable and exposing that part of herself she has kept hidden for a very long time, couldn't have been easy.

(We will get to Colin after the next post if you're wondering where he is in all of this).

I understand that some people were disappointed in how the LW reveal/fallout was portrayed but just for a while, let me help you appreciate that in Pen's most vulnerable moment, these women had equal parts surprise and awe on their faces as they watch their sister/daughter/best friend own up to her mistakes and face the Queen herself. And while we didn't get much out of them in the aftermath in terms of communication, it was still wonderful to know that in the end, all these women become/is important for Pen to fully embrace who she is.

I'm hoping to put all of these out every 1-2 days so I can finally move on to writing other things.

Next up: Part 5.2 The Queen and the bugs

[theerurishipper]

Could you please explain why Cat Noir is no longer healing for Adrien after season 4? I technically know the answer but I love your metas <3

Thank you so much for your compliment!

Anyway, about your question. The short version? They made Ladybug treat Chat Noir like Gabriel treats Adrien.

Let me explain. The Ladynoir conflict was about how Ladybug and Chat Noir were experiencing a shift in their dynamic because of Ladybug’s new role as the guardian. Ladybug starts to keep secrets from Chat Noir and leave him out of the loop. She replaces him with Rena Rouge as her primary partner in all but name. And Chat Noir understandably feels neglected and ignored by someone who is supposed to be his partner. His home life is shit, and Ladybug and his life as Chat Noir have always been his escape. Ladybug has been the one who accepted him unconditionally and cared for him with no need for him to change himself to please her. He trusts her with his life and heart, and suddenly, she doesn’t do the same for him. Instead, she’s keeping secrets from him, she’s leaving him out of things and more or less treats him as “just another holder.” And yeah, this is because of her new responsibilities as the Guardian and her trauma from Chat Blanc. But the fact remains that even if she wants to make these changes, she should tell him.

It's pretty obvious now that Marinette has a controlling side to her, and that shows itself more than ever. She wants to control everything, she admits it herself in Strikeback. And that includes Chat Noir. She controls what he knows and what he can do, and denies him information he actually needs. She lashes out at him and dismisses him when he does try to talk to her, like in Kuro Neko. And this behavior is, how do I say it, very much like what Gabriel is. Of course it is more understandable than Gabe and it is certainly nowhere close to the level of Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien, which is abuse plain and simple, but there are some… similarities. They both keep him at a distance, they both start making decisions for him, they both want to have control over everything, and that includes him. They both take advantage of his trust and forgiveness and they both take him for granted.

Again, Ladybug doesn’t go anywhere near the levels Gabe has reached with his treatment of Adrien, but she does in fact take advantage of his trust. Ephemeral is the worst offender here, with Ladybug actively deciding to trick Chat Noir into an identity reveal without his consent. I think it’s awful to do that to someone. And what’s worse is that the episode ends with her not even realizing that she was wrong to do something like that.

Anyway, she’s treating him not unlike the way he’s treated at home. And while her actions are obviously not as severe and not as malicious as Gabe… it doesn’t change the fact that Chat Noir feels suddenly less like an escape, and Ladybug becomes not much different from the people who only like to see him as an object or a perfect little doll. He used to mean something to her as her partner, and now he doesn’t. He’s just another tool in her toolbox. He’s just someone who’s in the way. Ladybug doesn’t care for him anymore. He’s a bother.

She used to roll her eyes at his flirtations, but now she flips out and throws him in a trashcan for them. She used to treat him like an equal partner, but now she yells at him if he tries to talk to her or help her. He’s bothering her. He’s in the way. And he’s not good enough.

So he quits.

And then he decides that he wants to be the partner Ladybug wants. Not Chat Noir, who is his escape and the only way he can be free. No he’s going to be the Adrien side of himself, the perfect doll who wants for nothing except to cater to Ladybug’s needs.

Now, here is where the show loses the plot. Kuro Neko is supposed to be the resolution to the Ladynoir conflict, apparently. And the way it happens is… Adrien putting aside his valid concerns and emotions because Ladybug needs help, and apologizing to her for wanting to be treated with respect. Which is what Gabe taught him. That his feelings don’t matter, and that he should be perfect and cater to everybody’s desires for how he should be. That he shouldn’t have emotional needs because he’s too emotional and he’s a burden on others for having them. He literally says, “the boy who was Chat Noir was probably too sensitive,” which is what Gabe taught him! That Adrien was too emotional to be able to make his own decisions, and so Gabriel had to protect him and keep him in control. He had to be perfect for everyone because in reality, he was too emotional, and no one wanted to see that.

And Ladybug accepts this! She also thinks that Chat Noir is being a bother, and she starts crushing on Catwalker so quickly. And this isn’t salt on her for crushing on Catwalker, but it is so bad from a narrative standpoint and when you consider the implications of that. You see, what Adrien is doing with this whole Catwalker thing is something called fawning. It’s a trauma response because of Gabe's abuse. He pushes aside his own needs and desires to please Ladybug. He assumes responsibility for her mistakes and blames it on himself. At the end of the episode, he apologizes to her! And she just says some things about how he’s irreplaceable to her and how she needs him and all that.

And what is tells me is that Ladybug doesn’t like when Chat Noir has emotional needs and expectations of her in their partnership, and that she likes only boys who take care of her emotional needs without expecting anything in return. Adrien just seems so perfect and unbothered by anything, and he’s always praising and encouraging her. Luka always put her emotional needs first and was always in her corner even when she didn’t pay as much attention to their relationship. And now Catwalker, who says he’ll take care of her. And considering the Love Square from a writing standpoint is supposed to have Ladybug fall for both sides of Chat Noir, seeing her fall so quickly for him when he denies himself his needs and accepts being her emotional support partner is not the best look.

And what’s worse is that this reaction from Adrien is because he is an abuse victim. He is once again, putting on a mask to make himself into the person Ladybug wants. And they specifically say that he should act like the “perfect son” side of himself, so Adrien is acting the way for Ladybug the way he usually acts for Gabriel. And he ends the episode by apologizing for having emotions and for inconveniencing her. And since Adrien pushing aside his own desires is a trauma response, and Ladybug likes people who don’t inconvenience her with their emotions, it comes across as Ladybug benefitting from Chat Noir being traumatized, and it’s so great for her that Chat Noir comes pre-abused and ready to supress his emotional needs and cater to hers while demanding nothing from her.

Yikes.

But let’s move on to Strikeback, where Ladybug admits her mistakes. She admits she wanted to control things, that she pushed him away and left him in the dark. He hugs and reassures her he’s always here, and it’s beautiful and sweet. The Ladynoir conflict was not resolved, but surely, they would address it next season, right? Surely, we would get episodes of Ladybug apologizing and working to make up for her mistakes, right? Surely Chat Noir wouldn’t just forget this treatment, right?

It's never brought up again in Season 5. In fact, Season 5, where the Gabriel-Marinette parallels are really hammered down onto us, ends with Marinette siding with Gabriel and lying to Adrien about his entire existence. So, the entire conflict ends with Chat Noir putting aside his own emotional needs because Ladybug is sad, and he just accepts that he’ll never be treated with the respect that he wanted. Ladybug doesn’t learn squat, and she just does the same things again, but even worse this time.

At this point, they have their own toxic cycle. Ladybug does something to Chat, he puts his own needs aside to forgive and support her instead/accepts the blame onto himself, she does it again. All the while, he’s offering her emotional support while pushing away any of his feelings so that he doesn’t inconvenience her with them. When he does seem at the end of his rope, she says something along the lines of “I need you,” or “you’re irreplaceable to me,” and he comes right back to her, ready to continue being her emotional support partner even though she never actually fixes her mistakes. And while she obviously does mean what she says to him, her actions prove otherwise, and they end up coming across as similar to those little concessions Gabe gives Adrien so that he won’t get away from him. And this is never resolved. Season 5 ignored it, but it was never resolved, and the finale just brings it back full throttle with Marinette literally siding with Gabriel and doing what he wants.

This should have been an arc showing how Ladybug’s and Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien is ultimately different. They both make the same mistakes, though Gabriel is worse. But what’s different is that Ladybug actually does love and value Chat Noir, and she would never go as far as that because learns and grows, and because she is a good person. But instead, they had the protagonist act like the love interest’s abuser, established a bunch of parallels between them, and had her literally follow his request on how to treat his victim. They flat out went beyond it being a coincidental parallel. She’s literally doing what he wants at his own request. Not a good look for the abuse victim’s girlfriend to be behaving like the abuser.

But that was a long tangent. Anyway, to sum it up, Chat Noir was supposed to be Adrien’s escape from a toxic, controlling environment into one where he could be free. But everything changed when Season 4 attacked. And Adrien goes back to his trauma responses that he tries to escape from as Chat Noir, and this is treated as good and correct by the narrative. His hero life is also now being controlled, and Ladybug is behaving like Gabriel. His life where he once felt free is just another prison.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for your ask!

[simvanie]

7 Sins Legacy - generation 4 (pride)

While Rohan made an attempt to stop Supriya from walking away, Supriya barely noticed that the musicians had cleared the floor for Suraj, who had taken his place behind the microphone: "Dear friends and colleagues, I would like to make an official public announcement tonight..."

Rohan: I don't get it. You've done more for our campaign in the past weeks than everyone else combined. And we are so close to winning the city's elections, why would you suddenly want to leave?

Supriya: Oh you really want to know? Imagine what will happen to the party when I quit- With all the publicity I've had, it'll be on the front page of the newspapers, and journalists will be lining up because they want to know why. And I'll tell them exactly why they're better off voting for someone other than... you.

Rohan: This job interview is for another political party, isn't it? Tell me, do you actually want to work there? Or is it because you think that you can't get to where you actually want to be in this party, so you've built your walls so high that you've completely closed yourself off from everything that has to do with it. And the only option you think you have left is to run away. Because if so, I hate to break it to you, but you probably won't make yourself happy with that decision.

"...I assume many of you already heard speculations, so it probably won't come as a surprise that the rumors are true. I want you all to know that I've decided to officially retire...."

Supriya: Oh! That's rich coming from someone who has it easy with his influential dad arranging everything for him! And you don't know what is best for me-

Rohan: Please, listen to me. It doesn't mean that I don't agree with you- Everyone deserves an equal chance, but you also have to know that there is a big chance that you'll encounter similar kind of situations somewhere else. Especially in this political world.

Supriya: What do you want then?! Do you want me to stay so I can congratulate you when your dad announces that you will get the position? Because I'm NOT going to do that- Besides, if you agree that everyone deserves an equal chance, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!

" ...and that is why I, along with all our colleagues in the party, have unanimously decided to give the position as party leader to Supriya."

Suraj turned towards Supriya. "If you want it of course. So, what do you say?"

Supriya couldn't believe if she had heard it right and had to take a second while everyone slowly turned their heads towards her. "...Y- yes, yes of course!"

Suraj smiled and gave her a nod before turning his attention back to the public. "Very well, I suggest we leave the technicalities for the transfer until Monday and spend the rest of the night enjoying this gala that my lovely wife helped organizing."

Supriya: Did you- I... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Rohan: Congratiulations, you deserve it. Supriya: It's- This is amazing... That you did this!!! Oh, you've no idea what this means to me, I could kiss you right now! I-

.... Rohan: ...So why don't you?

For the first time, the feeling that had been slowly creeping up on Supriya since she met Rohan, and that she had been trying to ignore and push away ever since she found out that Rohan was Suraj's son, slipped through the walls she had so carefully built.

Rohan: ....Since I don't think you have to get up early tomorrow morning anymore, what do you say if we, when this gala is over, get some takeout from that new Mexican place near your apartment to celebrate? Supriya: Hm, I'd love that.

[adhd-riddled-crow]

Omg I've never done a 20 questions before! I am honoured that you thought of me @dragonagegayz

Tagging @agentlizardofowca

I only have pictures of rookanis (and spite) rn :3

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 6 works. Rookie numbers ik. But I do have some (less than ideal) fics on wattpad, too. I started there and only joined ao3 a few years ago. I originally intended to only use ao3 to read fics, but then I started writing again and decided that it was much better to use than wattpad 😅.

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

12,624 (and counting). Higher than I thought tbh. I'm used to only seeing like 300 smt words a fic if I'm honest. I find it hard to write so much and make it sound interesting to read. But I'm proud of my current wip 😁

3) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"Soap as Soap?" (39), Two Crows and Their Nest (36), A Stony Fanfiction (9), Hospital Wing (9), Pacing and Potions (8)

4) What fandoms do you write for?

Hogwarts Legacy (2), Call of Duty (2), The Avengers/Marvel (1), Dragon Age: The Veilguard (1)

I have also got wips for Star Trek, and I have written wips for many others that I cannot remember right now.

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

OF COURSE I DO! Any feedback is welcome, and I would like to share my appreciation for the reader who decided to comment on my fics. Sometimes I don't because at the time I probably couldn't think of anything. But that doesn't happen very often, I'd just respond with a "thank you" of some kind at the very least.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None so far. Sorry to disappoint. I have a track record of never finishing fics. Although if I were it wouldn't happen very often. Depending on the ship.

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, none so far. Though I hope that Two Crows and Their Nest will have the happiest ending I can come up with. You'll just have to wait and see 😉✨️

8) Do you get hate on fics?

No. Not that I can remember. Most of my earlier stuff is on wattpad so I genuinely can't remember what's happened on those; I barely touch the app unless reading my own old ass fics just to poke fun at 12 year old me, so.

And I tend to get very nice feedback from both tumblr and ao3. Which I am very thankful for <3

9) Do you write smut?

I have tried in the past. I have in the past. Though I wouldn't call it smut by ao3's standards. I wrote it on wattpad.

10) Do you write crossovers?

No. I don't read them either. It makes my brain itch in a very unsatisfactory way.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope. Not to my knowledge. If I have, it'd probably be from my old wattpad fics. But why the heck would you nick one of those 💀

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I'm not out there enough for that to happen.

13) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Technically. I have a Star Trek wip that me and @snek-of-eden are- were writing. And I asked them to beta read it for me, and then they ended up helping me write some things too. Which I thank them for still! If I ever finish it and upload it I was planning on adding them as a cowriter for the fic because it's true. I don't want to overshadow them seen as in they are equally just as much the writer as I am.

14) What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'd have to say I don't have one. Specifically. I have a preferred ship from whichever fandom I'm currently wanting to read/write from. Right now, I'd say Lucanis Dellamorte/Male Rook. But I am also in the market for some Bloodweave (Astarion/Gale bg3)!

15) What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The Star Trek one. I made my own species/planet and everything! It's the most indepth I've ever gotten into the "How's & Why's" of a fic I wanted to write. And I love it! I just don't feel like writing for that fandom rn, and I'm just scared I'm gonna abandon said fic 😔

16) What are your writing strengths?

I have been told on multiple occasions that I "have such a way with words" and personally I think I'm pretty good at describing things. More specifically people; like their eyes, or their minute details in their faces. Something like that. I'd also maybe say characters emotions? I'm not the best at those irl so I'm not sure I use the correct words or the words correctly.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to use a lot of the same words; "and", "says", "asks", etc. I also tend to use commas like far too much. Especially in my current fic 💀 (I'm so sorry)

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

GOD YES! PLEASE! I eat that up! I love a bit of Spanish, or French, or German, or heck even Icelandic! (I have read fics with all of these languages sprinkled in here and there)

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Batman. More specifically, Batman/Joker. No. I will not elaborate.

20) Favourite fic you've ever written?

THE ONE IM CURRENTLY WRITING!!!! I am foaming at the mouth with these two (Lucanis/Velasco (My Crow Rook))! Someone put me down! 🫠

Thank you again @dragonagegayz for the prompt. I hope I answered these questions well and that any and all who see this have a lovely rest of your day/evening <3

[catwouthats]

What’s so weird to me is how everyone one thinks Reylo is still toxic. Hannigram is toxic dude, they bring out the worst in each other and hurt each other. Reylo brings out the best in each other. It’s just hard to notice because 1) Ben is so deep in propaganda from the dark side; he is deep in their cult. 2) they are both so repressed.

Listen, I am friends with someone who is no longer a Nazi. They used to hold that ideology but now they believe in equality and reparations etc. These radical changes are possible, but for some reason I feel like people are acting like Ben never changed. I remember when my friend was starting to understand, but he still had a lot to unlearn, he’d say stupid shit similar to Ben in episode 8. Stuff like “join me because these other guys suck and youre nothing so you have nothing better”. In real life it can sound different obviously but… yall have to understand he is unlearning this shit in like only a couple years… in fact he is literally using a manipulation tactic that was probably used on him by Snoke (calling her nothing so she relied on him is probably a similar tactic the dark side used). He is convinced that the tactic helped himself, so he says it to her to help her. It took my (real life) friend…. 4+ years to unlearn most of Nazi ideology. He still hasn’t unlearned everything, and it’s been 6 years since he started trying to undo it all as best he could. It’s fucking hard because it seeps in everywhere. Frankly, I’m surprised Ben Solo only needed such a small amount of time to unlearn that much. Not that surprised since he probably still remembered all the good things his parents taught him no mater how much he tried to bury it. Point is escaping a hateful cult like that is hard. You aren’t just going to stop killing. Things are gradual. You are going to hesitate more, kill less… and then stop. It is messy as shit.

When it comes to repression, Rey represses her family history and limits herself on what she can do and where she can go (before she gets involved of course). She becomes very deregulated, especially with all the new environments, and can therefore get more impulsive and irritable. She sees everything very black and white in the beginning due to her trauma (refuses to believe she’s related to palpatine and thinks he parents are so amazing they never sold her and will come back). Ben is also similar and we always see him take out his rage and have meltdowns so I don’t feel like I have to explain that. They begin to both accept the idea that grey things exist in episode 2 (episode 8). They finally face the grey areas in their lives in episode 9 (she faces palpatine/the fact her parents had to sell her for her safety/ben himself, he asks his father for forgiveness and helps Rey while knowing all the awful things he did that he can’t undo/rey herself in a way)

So, even though they do start off toxic (I’d simply call it enemies), really the ship is more “right person wrong time” because they didn’t even want to think/they felt guilty for thinking about getting together until they were in agreement. Also it’s enemies to lovers of course. The literally tear each other down emotionally to try and stop the seeds of sympathy for each other growing between them. So please stop with the “Rey deserves a better man; this ship is so shit” discourse that somehow is STILL GOING ON EVEN THOUGH ITS BEEN YEARS. They can find other people technically, but the point is they love each other even knowing their past and how much they had to grow. Rey doesn’t settle for him, she doesn’t even want him until he finally is just Ben. She simply loves him.

[naquey]

20 Qs for fic writers

(inspired by @icegirl2772's post)

How many works do you have on AO3?

29!

2. What's your total word count?

498,403

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Drake & Josh, Harry Potter, Big Time Rush (TV), Cobra Kai, Scream (Movies), Nanbaka, and Black Butler.

But if we're counting Quotev, the original site I used then there's FNAF, Creepypasta, and Eddsworld.

4. Top five fics by Kudos:

Entrusted To You, Uno's brother, Rumors (Adele sang it best), This Is Not Okay, What Is Wrong With Me?

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love talking to my readers (unless its a hate comment lol) and talking to my readers can help gain a different perspective.

6. What is the five you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Most of my works are one shots. I believe the angstiest ending is tied between Fame and Haunted. But technically Haunted was a scrapped scene that didn't make it into Fame.

7. What is the five you wrote with the happiest ending?

There's a lot of them... But if I have to choose then Drake Loves Marnie.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Well no, not even when I was on Quotev. I did get my first hate comment which was really funny. I'm not saying I want more of them tbh, but I guess I just want more people to express their opinion lol.

9. Do you write smut?

Very RARELY. It only happens once in a blue moon because I'm either too intimidated to write it, or if I do write it I'm too intimidated to post it. Smut is so awkward to write and half the time I'm worried I'm writing it wrong lmao.

10. Craziest Crossover?

Well... I don't have many crossovers; I only have Drake & Josh with Big Time Rush, only because I wanted my OCs to interact. To be honest, I'm very picky when it comes to crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I can give it a shot if anyone wants any of them translated! Or if anyone would like to translate my fics/one-shots, feel free to do so as long as you credit me!

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Four times in the past. All of which nearly discouraged me from writing lmao. Not that I wouldn't want to cowrite a fic, but I would have to talk about it more with someone instead of just doing it.

13. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. But I doubt anyone would let me know if I had one stolen tbh...

14. All-time favorite ship?

Uhh... Canon? Oc? Good question... I have far too many circulating in my head like a rotisserie chicken lmao. I can't choose. But currently, I'm thinking a lot about Kenonnie (Kendall Knight/Veronica Clark)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My backroom novel idea. Like, I want to be able to traditionally (or independently) publish it. It's a horror book I'm very passionate about, but... I stopped writing at ch 3 because liminal spaces work best as a visual.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I genuinely have no idea, but if I had to guess it might be dialogue. I talk to myself in my room very frequently which... I guess helps with dialogue???

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, this one is easy! Spelling and grammar! I am fighting Grammarly on everything I'm writing because it's taking my personality out of my stories. But it keeps me from spelling words wrong.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I'm more scared to do this wrong. I have a couple of characters that speak French, but I avoid using it to a degree because I can't fathom being disrespectful and accidentally getting someone's language wrong.

19. First fandom you ever wrote in?

Eddsworld...

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I love my children equally- kidding! As of right now, I am very biased towards Ghostwriter. It started as a challenge to write more than usual and it succeeded, it is currently my longest running fic.

Usually, I splice my fics up into ten-chapter arcs, but since Ghostwriter doesn't have a concrete ending, it reached over thirty chapters, lol. It's also the one I'm writing the most because my brain cannot process anything else. I'm laser-focused on BTR right now.

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Crosshair and Omega's dynamic

Spoilers for episode 4

Out of all of Omega's relationships with the Batch, I have to say my favorite is the one with Crosshair (and it's not because I'm biased towards him). Even though they only had like two full episodes to work off each other, they do it so well. It's peak sibling relationship. But why I think it works so well is because of how they work off each other. In my eyes, Omega and Cross see each other as equals or at least on similar levels. This is evident with how they guide each other when fleeing from the Empire. There's no clear leader between them, the pair listen to each other depending on the situation.

Crosshair's skills are basically fighting and playing lookout. Both are very handy to have. Whenever a fight breaks out, Omega lets Crosshair take the lead and he works to protect her and himself. That's not to say Omega can't hold her own, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going (credit Lion King 2 for that cheesy line). Cross also takes a natural protective stance around her. While she does the technical stuff, he keeps watch. He might say it isn't part of his skill set, but believe me, it is.

Then, we have Omega. She's much better at hustling and seeking alternative ways to get things done. It's true that blaster fire will draw more attention to one's self. Thus, Crosshair lets her guide him in situations where they need to be more low-profile. Omega is also better with social situations imo. She's a smart kid who learned a lot from her other brothers and Cid. I love that the show gives both characters to exercise their unique skill set while not undermining the other.

The other reason why I love their relationship so much is because of how it's changed Crosshair. In the months that he and Omega have been imprisoned, he's truly grown to care for and respect her. First off, he uses her name. The only other people he does that with is Hunter and Wrecker. Secondly, he follows her lead with almost no question. He does complain and make comments. BUT, he still follows her. Crosshair in season 1 mocked Hunter for listening to Omega. Little did he know that he would follow her over 6 months later (yes, I did the math).

And then there's the emotional piece of it. Crosshair is so open with Omega in his body language, facial expressions, and words. She brings out the best side of him and I am here for it. Compare that to when we first meet him in Clone Wars. He's quiet, hangs back, and usually wears a stern look on his face. Now look at him with Omega. He's much more talkative. His face emits so much emotion from being fed up to genuine concern. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves Omega. He encourages her and openly voices his concerns. I myself struggle with opening up to others about certain except for a few people. Seeing Crosshair opening to someone who he feels comfortable with is truly beautiful and heartwarming. Between Mayday and Omega, you can see just how much Crosshair has changed.

Finally, the imperial officer casually calling Crosshair Omega's dad and her not saying anything proves that Crossdad is real. It's so on the nose, but it's so obvious that Crosshair cares for her and is good at keeping her safe.