#technically I only have 4 but I love them all equally

[sometimesanalice]

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers 🖤

Thank you to @notroosterbradshaw and @myfaveficrecs for also sending this to me!! It was so lovely of you both to think of me! 🤍

Oh Christmas Tree

This one is the most self indulgent things I’ve written, but it’s also literally the first thing I’ve ever written creatively! I had never been brave enough to try before, so it has a special place in my heart.

Like I Can

It was a oneshot that got out of hand, and now these characters live rent free in my head! I personally am very partial to Part 3 💞

Days Like This

I’m so soft for this one. I think there’s something so lovely about being so seen and known by someone. I loved the idea of how the right person can transform your worst day into something better and lighter.

What’s in a Name?

The combo of fluff and smut was fun to combine! I loved exploring some of their softer moments and the domesticity of it, and then who doesn’t like that with a large helping of hot smut?

[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

Press One for Love, Two for Regret

Chapter 3

Summary: Proper confessions should never happen over the phone. Viktor knows that. So how did he get here?

Pairing: Viktor x Reader

Word Count: 5.3K

Warning: Mature (mentions of explicit content, explicit in last chapter)

Notes: Yup, this started from a silly lil 1K prompt, don't ask me what happened, I wouldn't be able to say either. This chapter is pretty heavy on feelings, self-reflection and angst, but I think y'all will find it enjoyable ❤️. There's one more chapter left (the SMUT yeehawww), but I've written chapter 3 in a way where you could technically stop reading the story here if you didn't want to read the smut, and it would still be a satisfying conclusion. I know most of you are in it for the smut too, so don't worry my beloveds, it will come 😛💕

(Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 4/End)

The humanities faculty room always smells horrible.

It's hard to tell where the pungent scent even comes from; it feels like it's in the air, in all the furniture, in the walls themselves. There's no window to even attempt to vent it out either; it’s in the oldest wing of the university, built at least sixty years prior to the construction of every other unit. Most teachers avoid it like the plague, preferring to work in any other available space on campus, so it's almost always empty.

But it isn't today.

“Melllll,” you moan, shoving your face into the leather couch’s pillows. The smell is somehow worse, imbued into the fabric. If you had to describe it, you would just call it old. Like rancid coffee forgotten on the kitchen counter for too long, or ancient damp books abandoned in an attic. Old. “Why do I always mess up everything I do?”

Mel looks up from the paper she's grading with a sigh, adjusting the small reading glasses on her nose.

“You don't mess up everything you do,” she argues softly. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you say what you think without feeling ashamed. That's not something for everyone, but it's not a flaw, either.”

You can only groan into the odorous leather as an answer.

Viktor had been your very first friend at work, but he had been a lot more. Without him, you would have never met Jayce, and without Jayce, you would have never met Mel. And you would have no one to cry your woes to on a Friday evening, a whole two weeks after the most disastrous phone call of your life.

“And I believe Viktor is equally at fault here. He knows better than to play hide and seek with you forever,” Mel hums pensively, crossing her legs. Her olive eyes narrow, her nose scrunching up slightly in thought.

“He's stalling, trying to figure a way out without confronting his feelings or yours. He's smart enough to know there isn't one, but he's stubborn,” she points out, tapping her manicured nails on the wooden table. Tic, tic. Like **the sound of seconds passing on the clock, never-ending and all-consuming.

At first, both Jayce Talis, mechanical engineering PhD and researcher, and Mel Medarda, political science PhD with five peer-reviewed books published under her name, had been two extremely imposing people to interact with. You already felt unworthy enough talking to Viktor, but after learning of the kind of people he usually hung out with, you felt like an absolute loser. Jayce and Mel are both unreasonably attractive and accomplished, and when Viktor joins them, there's no denying he belongs to their world, and not yours.

In those moments, the differences between the two of you seem much more glaring: the university professor with a collection of awards and a PhD in biomechanical engineering, who is dedicating his life to creating life-altering prosthetic limbs and transmitting his knowledge to a whole new generation of scientists… and you.

The guidance councillor who can't shut up.

It’s not that you're ashamed of your job; you love what you do. You love being able to help people figure themselves out, and orient them toward what will make them happiest.

But when you stand in the same space as Viktor, it's hard to see anything other than how much greater of a person he is than you will ever be. He's like a star in the sky, shining brighter and brighter every day, and you get the privilege of watching him through the lens of a telescope. That should already be enough for you to be satisfied.

But it isn’t, not anymore. It hasn't been for a long time. And you want to do so much more than look at him. You want to touch him. You want to kiss him. You want to be someone worthy of shining alongside him; but you never believed that would ever happen.

And for so long, it felt so much easier to just date people whose very existence didn't make you feel like you would never be enough to reach their ankle. People who just wanted something casual and meaningless, some sex, maybe the semblance of a romance. And that's how you ended up with a string of disastrous relationships with men you barely even liked.

You contort your body uncomfortably on the couch to face Mel; it squeaks awkwardly under you, like it's threatening to break.

“Did you know? Did everyone but me know?”

She rests her head on her hand, the hint of a smile on her lips, seemingly slightly amused by the question:

“Depends on who you mean by everyone. No one outside his circle of close friends, for sure. He's not the type to scream about his love life over the phone,” she adds with a teasing glim in her eyes. “No offence.”

You groan, shoving your face back into the roughed-up leather. God, it still smells.

“But Jayce did know,” she confirms, and you hear her straighten her chair to return to work. The comforting sound of her fountain pen starts up again, but you know she's still giving her conversation with your full attention. Mel is like that, able to carry on a hundred tasks at once without breaking a sweat; you wish you had an ounce of her composure.

“Viktor told him after he got drunk last year at the faculty cookout. I believe his exact words were…”

She pauses to do a dramatic imitation of Viktor's voice and tone, “‘Jayce, she is wearing that dress just to put me into an early grave’.”

Not only is it pretty accurate, but God, you know exactly what dress.

The skimpy little sunflower dress that you knew showed way too much chest for a work-related event. You had worn it in the hopes of eliciting any sort of reaction from Viktor; but he had barely spoken to you that afternoon, constantly vanishing every time you entered a room. You assumed you made him uncomfortable with something you said, like you always ended up doing with everyone else.

So you had left the party on the arm of some nameless T.A. from the law department, hoping it would help you forget Viktor, just for a while.

It hadn't.

“And I knew,” Mel continues smoothly in her regular voice, “because I know what it's like to want someone to notice you so badly. To want someone to love you back.”

You detect something very personal in the way she pronounces the word ‘love’, almost like it's painful to even say.

Mel rarely talks about herself, preferring to listen to the stories of everyone around her. Everything about her gives an air of mature confidence and independence, and if she ever has any issues in her personal life, she never shares them with you, or anyone that you know of.

She's not cold by any means, and she helps everyone with genuine care, that, you are absolutely certain of. But you can feel there's a side of her she desperately wants to keep to herself. She's only ever mentioned her mother once, in a drunken haze, muttering something under her breath about never being enough for her.

You wonder if that's the person who’s love she’s longing for.

When she speaks again, there is something akin to nostalgia lingering in her voice:

“You get that special look in your eyes. You both looked at each other just like that, but neither of you ever noticed.”

You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes. Fucking ironic. You can never seem to stop talking, but now, the words you want to tell her just won't come.

Mel doesn't seem to mind, though, and the sound of pen scrapping paper picks up again. You force yourself out of your leather cavern, sitting up on the couch to look at her directly.

“…Why didn't you say anything?” you ultimately settle with, but it rings much more fragile and hurt than you wanted it to.

She gives a small shrug without looking away from her documents:

“Not my place to. Viktor needed to confront his feelings head-on, and you needed to realize you were never not enough or too much for him,” she states matter-of-factly, “It's that simple.”

Everything always seems so easy when it comes from Mel's lips. But in your mind, thoughts are jumbled, emotions are running wild, and everything you thought you knew about the last four years is falling apart.

Maybe, that time on New Year’s Eve when he told you there was no other place he'd rather be, he hadn't meant at the party. He had meant with you.

Maybe, when he had taken your hand, it wasn't just because you were excitedly counting down the last seconds until midnight. It was because he wanted to touch you just as much as you wanted to touch him.

Maybe, at the end of that night and in those early morning hours, when he had said you would make someone really happy one day…he was asking if it could be him.

“Maybe,” you **exhale bitterly, enunciating the world like a curse, “it would actually be simple if he just answered my texts, or my calls. Or anything I do to try and reach him.”

Yeah, you're to blame for being so blind for so long. For noticing the smallest things about everyone else, but missing all the signs when it came to him.

But so is he for refusing to talk about it now that you finally see it.

“At this point, I’m seriously starting to consider lock-picking their apartment,” you grumble, more in tiredness than anger; you can't even manage to stay mad at him for longer than a minute. “He’s the one who showed me how to do that, did I ever tell you that?”

She lets out a soft laugh at that; but when she glances over to you, there's a hint of something new in her eyes.

“I'm sure he would enjoy seeing you put your training to use, but there might be another way to see him. I think he's had more than enough time playing hide and seek.”

You know that glint in her forest-green stare; she knows something you don't, and she’s chosen to reveal it to you. You almost jump off the couch with your eyes wide, so quickly you almost lose your balance:

“Mel, what do I do?”

She snorts as she motions for you to sit back down with a calming wave of her hand, amusement clear on her face.

“Calm down. I wouldn't tell anyone about this normally,” she begins, lowering her voice in secrecy, as if you’re not the only two in the room, “and I want to make it very clear you did not receive this information from me.”

You nod eagerly in agreement, hanging on to her every word.

“Go to their apartment,” she declares with certainty. “If you keep going after their door and to the end of the corridor, there's a big potted plant on the window sill. An orchid.”

You frown in confusion.

You've only been to Viktor and Jayce's apartment a few times in the couple of years you've known them. Usually for relaxed group hangouts, or an occasional game night. You remember very little about it other than the all-consuming childish excitement of being in Viktor’s home, and the absolutely not innocent thought of his bedroom being barely a few feet away.

Why don't you ever remember the important things?

You try to muster every memory you have of the apartment complex itself instead; they live on the third floor, and their door is the second one on the right after the elevator. The hallway is a straight, narrow line, and you've noticed how dark it always is every time you’ve visited.

Dark, yes, that's right, because aside from a cheap light fixture, there’s only one window that lets any light into the hallway, at the very end of the corridor. One window, that is almost entirely blocked by the world's most decrepit potted plant.

“The… really ugly one?” you ask with uncertainty.

Mel snaps her fingers in confirmation, a hint of perfect pearly white teeth shining between her lips.

“I think you may find something of interest under it. Jayce told me about it for whenever I want to…” she hesitates on her next word, uncharacteristically a little bashful, “visit.”

Oh, you fucking knew it.

“I totally-” you start triumphantly.

“Yes, I know, you knew it for months,” she interrupts, waving her hand in dismissal. Her lower lip sticks out slightly, almost like she's pouting. You've never seen her this embarrassed. “It's incredible how you notice everything about everyone else, but when it's about you, you suddenly forget how to use your own eyes.”

Touché.

You've sensed it for at least a year now, the unspoken electricity between the two of them. How her arm sometimes lingers just a second too long on his shoulder, how his hands seem to always accidentally brush her waist. For as subtle as they were being, there was no mistaking the fire when they looked at each other.

Did Viktor ever look at you like that, too?

Why hadn't you ever noticed?

“Wait, wait,” you interrupt your own train of thought. “The orchid. Why is the orchid…”

You pause when the realization hits you like a bucket of cold water.

Oh.

Oh.

“Do… do they have a set of keys under the orchid?” you ask slowly.

“I didn't say that,” Mel says, bringing her two hands up in self-defence; but the smile lingering on her lips tells another story. “And if you say I did, I will deny it and throw you under the bus with every inch of my power as the advisor for the debate club. Are we clear?”

You could kiss her.

You settle with a tight hug, holding her with as much force as you can muster. The scent of her perfume, bitter and floral, masks the decrepit smell of the room for just a moment. Is there any problem Mel can’t solve?

“Mel, you're the best,” you grin against her ear.

“So I'm told,” she hums. She gently detaches herself from the hug, giving you an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Now go. I don't like seeing you mop around my teacher's lounge, and I can't stand when Viktor performs his little disappearing act instead of talking things out.”

She picks her pen back up, giving you one last genuine look of support, voice soft, sincere: “You two are really meant for each other. Give him hell.”

—

Viktor is much less attentive than people give him credit for.

That’s not to say he’s oblivious or careless. In fact, when it comes to his work, he could instantly notice a tenth of a millimeter discrepancy from a mile away. He could hear the slightest abnormal murmur in the heart of any machine, and pinpoint its exact origin within seconds. Throw a blindfold on top, and he'd still know exactly where to place each and every single component of his prosthetic models.

But when it comes to the world outside his lab, his attention to detail just plummets.

If a bomb went off right outside his apartment, he probably wouldn't even look up from his notes. Jayce usually has to call his name thrice to pull him out of the trance-like state he gets into when he's sketching up a new idea, and that's only because he's used to Jayce's voice; for someone else, he might not hear it at all.

Even walking home from campus, he pays no attention to his surroundings, lost in his thoughts of valves, hydraulic cylinders, and flexion plates. He mechanically follows the same path he's walked thousands of times, a habit so ingrained in him it allows him to fully disconnect and think of nothing but work.

He's glad he has such a strong grip on his own mind, because if he didn't, he would let his practical ideations slowly morph into thoughts of nothing but you. You, who he hasn't seen in two weeks, because he likes to pretend change can't happen if he simply refuses to acknowledge it. It's much better to focus on what he actually has control over, to lose himself entirely in the things that make sense to him. To forget the world burning around him.

And that's exactly why he doesn't realize you’re in his apartment, sitting on his couch about ten feet away from him, until you make a pointed cough to signal your presence.

“Ah,” is the only thing he manages to get out.

He wishes he'd be surprised, but then again, he knew you would find your way to him eventually. He could keep trying to bury himself in work and avoid you with every inch of his power, you would not stop until you got answers to your questions. You’re just as stubborn as he is. That's part of why he fell for you.

So, there's nothing he can do, but let out a defeated sigh.

“I would ask how you got in here,” he starts flatly, taking off his coat robotically to place it on the hanger, “but I have a feeling it doesn't really matter.”

You don't react to his distant, tired tone, your expressive face unusually devoid of emotion when you speak.

“I didn't use your lockpicking lessons, if you're wondering.”

He can't help but snort at that:

“Disappointing.”

You both stay silent as he slowly takes off his boots and removes his wool scarf. The atmosphere isn't exactly awkward, but it's not comfortable either. Like a cheap, stiff version of the warm intimacy you usually share.

You've always been so easy to read, and anything that didn't show on your face always came from your lips. He always knows how you feel: he's observed every single expression on your face, from the slightest pout to the biggest grin, and committed it to memory with the dedication he only ever puts into his projects.

From the day you literally crashed in his life four years ago, utterly drunk and analyzing him with astonishing accuracy, he's felt the need to analyze you, too. To decipher every part of you, understand each component, each reaction. He craved the idea of knowing you like a cartographer knows the maps of the world, like an astronomer knows the place of every star. To understand you as you had understood him, with a single glance.

Right now, he has no idea what you're thinking.

In typical fashion, you're the one who ultimately breaks the ice first:

“You could kick me out,” you declare, staring him down almost challengingly. “I'll leave if you really want me to.”

There's clear apprehension and hurt in your voice, a bitterness you're trying your best to hide, but failing. He despises being the one to make you feel that way. He's become no better than any of your exes.

“We both know I won't do that,” he exhales. He's still standing in the entryway, just a few steps away from the threshold of the living room. There's no hiding anymore, no backing out. You're here, and he has to face you. Even if it breaks him.

“In the kitchen, second drawer on the left,” he says, making his way inside resignedly. “There's a rather large bread knife inside it. It hasn't been sharpened in a while, but it should do.”

Your passive expression falls for a second and you stare at him in confusion.

“Do for what?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

“Killing me to spare us both the embarrassment of this conversation,” he answers unenthusiastically.

You're the one who snorts, this time. If he could forget why you're here, he could almost pretend this is just a regular talk between close friends. Almost.

You get off the couch without hurry, stretching your limbs lazily; he wonders if you've been waiting for him for a while. You're still in your usual work clothes, but your hair is dishevelled, and your makeup is a bit smudged. Had these been different circumstances, this would be the kind of look he would imagine you in when he's alone in bed, but that's exactly the kind of treacherous impulse that's led him to this situation in the first place.

There's a strange shimmer in your eyes when you look at him again:

“You got any booze in that kitchen ?”

He’s starting to realize no matter how many years you give him, he’ll probably never be able to completely figure out what's going on in that brain of yours.

“You want to drink. Right now,” he states in disbelief.

You shrug:

“Seems like you listened to me when I was drunk last time. Maybe that'll get your attention again.”

There's an undeniable bitterness under the light sarcasm. It's deserved, frankly. And maybe a drink would make what's inevitably coming less difficult.

“First cabinet to the right. You can take the clear unlabeled bottle,” he offers.

You hum in approval, making your way to the kitchen without looking back at him. He makes his way to the couch, sitting at the opposite end of where you had been.

You come back with the bottle in one hand, and two mismatched shot glasses in the other. One is his, a souvenir from an academic conference in Marseilles; the silver lettering simply states ‘Ainsi va la vie’, ‘such is life’. He has to wonder if you chose it on purpose, to taunt him.

Although, the other one is Jayce's, and it's shaped like the torso of a woman with huge breasts in a bikini top with the colours of his old college. So it's equally as likely you just grabbed the first ones you found.

He always overthinks when he's anxious.

You put the three items down on the rectangular table in front of him, before sinking into the couch next to him. Your bodies aren't touching, shoulders an adequate distance from each other, but the proximity is still unnerving. The smell of your perfume, usually so comforting, makes him feel slightly ill.

You pour the alcohol into the shot glasses unhurriedly, progressively filling them both to the brim.

“Did you know Mel and Jayce are together?” you ask, not looking up from your task.

“Unfortunately so,” he mutters sourly.

You pause at that, perplexed.

“No, that is not what I meant, I am very happy for them,” he clarifies quickly. “But their decision to keep it a secret has been rather… precarious for me.”

You slide a glass towards him and give him a smile; the first one of the day, the first one in two weeks.

“You walked in on them fucking, didn't you?”

He groans, and you laugh. God, he missed that sound.

“I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life,” he complains, wrapping his hand around the shot glass. He notices with gratitude it's the plain one and not its heavily endowed sibling. “Being able to run had never seemed more appealing.”

You grab your own glass, the smile on your lips genuine, but fragile. The words still left unsaid hang above you both, and he's forced to remember this is but a moment of respite before everything falls apart.

“Maybe a drink will help you forget,” you joke, holding up the glass in his direction.

How he wishes it would.

“Maybe, maybe not,” he simply answers, bringing his glass to yours until they hit with a light clink. “Cheers.”

Your gaze holds his captive as you speak, like you're reaching into the depths of his very being.

“Na zdravià.”

You throw your head back and down the shot before he has time to voice his surprise, so he does the same, not wanting to break the unspoken rules of the toast; his ancestors would roll in their graves.

The liquid burns his throat almost instantly, the familiar warmth of alcohol settling into his body. It’s strong, powerful, but there’s a recognizable hint of plum and almonds that's comforting to him.

He can’t help a discreet, fond smile as your face scrunches from the sharp taste.

“I-I don't think I've ever had that before,” you cough out, your eyes slightly watery. It's endearing that no matter how much you drink, you never seem to build a tolerance to the sting of strong spirits.

“Slivovice. Plum brandy. The homemade ones are noticeably sharper than what they sell in stores here. Although… perhaps not as legal.”

You let out an amused cough, wiping away any tears before they get the chance to fall, smudging your mascara even more. But you're still smiling at him, decided, bold, never letting yourself be defeated by anything. It's like he's falling for you all over again in that single moment, outside of time and space.

Even in his darkest moments, when all else crumbles, you remain the unwavering light he can always find in the sky.

“I am a little surprised you remembered how to say that,” he admits softly.

What he had meant as a compliment seems to come off as a reproach in your eyes, and the smile falls, ending the magic of the instant.

“It may not always look like it, but I listen to you, Viktor,” you mumble, hurt. “I'm not an idiot, either.”

“I did not mean to imply-” he protests, but the words die in his throat. He opens his mouth by reflex, before closing it again; the sentence lingers incomplete in the air.

“…Why did you hang up?”

Here it is.

“Ah, so we're jumping into the questioning already. Alright,” he sighs. He chooses to stare at the bottom of his empty glass to avoid seeing your reaction. It's pitiful, but it'll spare him some of the pain and embarrassment. “I did not want to listen to what you would say, this once. I was scared if I heard your answer, it would all be real. Unchangeable.”

Change. Viktor had never been scared of the concept before. Change means something new, passing from one state to another, an evolution. It means progress. Nothing could ever be as gratifying, as glorious, as making the changes you want to see in the world.

But he didn't want you to change. He wanted you to stay just as you are, always excitedly talkative and brilliantly observant. Always shinning. A star brighter than any other, that could never fade no matter how the world treated her.

Revealing his feelings for you would have put that in harm’s way. You might think he had never truly been interested in your conversations, in all those ideas and words you feel so self-conscious about, and lose the trust you had in him as a friend.

He couldn't take that risk.

“So… you avoided me for two weeks ?” you scoff in disbelief.

He lets out a short, bitter laugh:

“I would have attempted longer if you did not break into my apartment.”

The poor attempt at a joke doesn't seem to land very well with either of you. The atmosphere feels still and heavy, the strange tension palpable.

“Ok,” you exhale, leaning your head back against the back of the couch. “You can ask me a question now.”

He glances at you in surprise:

“A question? Why?”

“So it's equal. I ask you one, you ask me one,” you explain simply, like it's the most basic rule of conversation in the world. “I haven't been attentive to what you were trying to tell me, for a long time. I need to change that.”

He hesitates for a second. There's a lot he wants to ask you. Had things been different, would you ever have considered him as someone you could fall for? If he could change the timing, the place, the words, would anything have made it so you could have loved him?

“You read people so easily,” he almost whispers. “I always assumed you knew how felt for you, but were too nice to tell me off. That you did not want to break what we had.”

It’s time. It's time for change. There is no other choice than to move forward. He continues:

“I am… sorry that I fell in love with you.”

Ah…

The weight seems slightly lighter on his chest. It's not a good feeling, exactly, but there's a certain peace that comes with finally having said it.

The expression on your face is yet again one he doesn't recognize.

“I'm not. I’m not sorry, Viktor,” you breathe out, hardly any louder than his respiration.

Your hand touches his, just barely, and he flinches, pulling away. But you refuse to back off. You reach for him again, your fingers timidly touching his own.

“Maybe I did know, in a way,” you reflect, a single digit moving across his knuckles, the ghost of a caress, “but I wouldn't let myself believe it. I didn't want to lose the only person I’ve ever felt wanted to listen to me. So… I stopped listening to my instincts, I guess.”

You let out a shaky laugh.

“I talk all the goddamn time and I don't even listen to myself.”

He turns his hand around, letting your index trace the lines of his palm instead.

“A fortune teller who can't read her own cards,” he teases gently. “Ironic.”

You scoff with a smile; your fingers intertwine, tentative.

“You're one to talk, asshole,” you huff playfully, “the big smart professor who can't figure out when someone is in love with him.”

His heart stops beating in his chest.

“Ah. You... you lo-” he stops himself before finishing his sentence, scared of pronouncing the word. He takes a shaky breath before he attempts again: “You feel the same way I…?”

He leaves the question open. He's still hesitant to make it real. Of saying the words that'll shift things. Because damn it, yes, Viktor is scared of change when it comes to you.

“I’m in love with you, Viktor,” you smile, like it's the most natural thing in the world. “Did the part where I broke into your apartment just to talk to you not give that away?”

What a strange feeling. He's dreamed of hearing those words from your mouth for so long, never believing they would, and yet it feels so right. As if you had told him a thousand times before this moment.

Maybe you had, in your own way.

He squeezes your hand, the sensation of your skin against his making it all feel impossibly real.

“I suppose we're both idiots,” he sighs gently, eyes locking into yours. “The blind oracle, and the clueless teacher. What a dynamic duo we make.”

Your forehead meets his, your nose just barely tickling his.

“I'd say we make a good duo. You and me,” you grin. You're so close he can feel the warmth of your breath on his lips. He smiles.

“I'd say so as well.”

Taglist Darlings ❤️ : @soniiyi , @mischievous-piltovan , @just1cefor4ll , @luv-urself-first, @girlidkthinkofsmth , @starflesh-moth , @raynoway, @vyshnevaka , @ash-84321 , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

[malinthebodyguard]

Young Royals is anti-monarchist propaganda (always has been) 

I think it’s fair to say that most of the fandom was quite happy with the finale. However, I’ve seen a handful of posts by people who were unhappy, specifically  those who were unhappy with Wille giving up his place in the line of succession. These criticisms range in everything from dismissing Wille’s choice (Wilhelm has made a harsh decision without thinking of the consequences, this won’t actually make the media circus around him go away), to those disappointed in how the monarchy in general was represented (Wille could have modernized the institution, no one in the show attempted to consider how the monarchy could be good, actually). I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s feelings about the finale. If you didn't like it, that’s more than ok and I don’t want to argue with anyone about their taste. 

But when it comes to criticism about Wilhelm giving up the throne,  I do find myself frustrated at what I see as a fundamental misunderstanding of what this show was trying to communicate. Young Royals, plain and simple, is a story that  denounces the incompatibility of antiquated and hierarchical institutions (Hillerska, the monarchy) with equality and justice. 

If you’ve had the displeasure of being my fandom friend you’ll know that I’ve spent the last 3 years yelling about how this show is about abolishing the monarchy. I even wrote a lengthy  fanfic with the sole excuse of having Wilhelm arrive at this conclusion. Still, I knew that whatever statement the show wanted to arrive at, we’d only really be getting to it at the end of the show. 

Seasons one and two were setting up all the characters on the chessboard for the end: Wilhelm is the Crown Prince, although he does not want to be. He and Simon are in love, but Wilhelm’s role drives a wedge between them. Erik’s legacy and August's spot next in line are keeping Wilhelm in his place.

 From episode one, I think the show was telling us about the many things that are wrong with the monarchy, but I don’t think it’s until season three that these discussions become more explicit. Is this why some people were disappointed by the ending? Maybe so. Still, I wanted to look at how season three in particular answers some of the questions or issues  people are bringing up regarding both the monarchy and the Wilhelm’s choice. 

What do you like about the monarchy? 

Season 3 Episode 4 is the first time we hear an explicit discussion about why the monarchy could potentially be a good institution. I’ve seen some people complain that the show didn’t give this idea enough thought. 

I completely disagree with this take: the short conversation Wille and Simon have in this episode  is succinct, but still effective at presenting both arguments in this debate. A  longer and more drawn out conversation would have been a bit unrealistic and probably boring to watch. These are not academics having a debate, but two teenagers who are talking about what for them is emotionally charged.

There’s also no need for a longer, more detailed discussion. Wilhelm does provide a very good answer to the question: The monarchy is there to unite the people. To be a neutral party in situations when the government cannot or will not interfere. 

A quick civics lesson: In parliamentary democracies, the monarch serves as the Head of State. 

This role is predominantly representative, although in many places the government is formed in the name of the monarch. This could, theoretically, grant them some political power-- since they could technically reject the winning party from forming a government. However, in most parliamentary monarchies, the King or Queen simply has to accept whatever decision is made based on election results.

However, the value of the Head of State is precisely in its apolitical nature. Regardless of who’s in power, the head of state is a neutral ambassador of the nation, both in and outside of their country. Their job is diplomatic and representative, and one that is thoroughly divorced from politics. This is what Wilhelm meant when he said that the monarchy was there to ‘unite the people’. Whenever I’ve spoken to pro-monarchy folks about their beliefs, they cite this as the reason why they like it. 

It’s easy to see why Wilhlem would latch on this as his main argument to defend the institution. I don’t think there is anything inherently bad about having a separate head of state that represents the country. I don’t think the major grip with this issue is the having a head of state, but the fact that the head of state is a hereditary position. Simon says this himself twice in this episode: the issue is not that the head of state exists, but that the head of state is not an elected position. Furthemore, the head of state is a role that is imposed on a person not by their talent as a public speaker or negotiator, but by a simple accident of birth. 

The job’s legitimacy or importance should not be above any individual’s right to autonomy and self-determination. Furthermore, considering that taxpayers are the ones who finance this position, shouldn’t they be able to elect who it is? 

Let’s imagine a scenario where a friend tells you they’ve gone into a career because everyone in their family works in that industry, and they simply had no choice in the matter. It wouldn’t even matter if they were good or bad, they had a job in this career guaranteed from birth. 

 Would you not be concerned that maybe your friend is unhappy for a rather unnecessary reason? Would you not think that perhaps someone who actually wanted the job would be better suited for it? Would you think it right for a company to hire someone simply because of their family history? Would you consider any of this fair? And what is so special about monarchy that makes us have a different answer for it than we would if the question was about law or medicine? 

You’ll always be famous. 

Another common criticism I’ve seen is that Wilhelm will inevitably regret his decision, especially once he realizes that public scrutiny will not be going away. This is true, Wilhelm will likely always  be a figure of public interest. But to me, this has always been a negative consequence of the monarchy, and I have a hard time seeing this is a valid reason why he should stay in it. 

From the second we meet him, we know Wilhelm is uncomfortable with both the public attention and the scrutiny placed on him. However, this goes a bit further than that. I’d argue than more than the  scrutiny itself,  Wilhelm is weighed down by having to keep a public image. Because, remember folks, Wilhelm is not merely an awkward teenage boy with acne and a crush. No, no, Wilhelm is the State. Wilhelm is going to be a publicly-funded representative of the nation . This means, of course, that there’s a narrative, as he mentions himsef, that needs to be put forward. One that’s generic, serious, and unproblematic: 

From the get go, Wilhelm is uncomfortable with the inauthentic and performative aspect of his role.This is a constant we see with Wilhelm in seasons one and two: every ‘performance’ he has to do fills him with nausea, anxiety, or some sort of discomfort.

In season three, Wilhelm begins acquiescing to this performance. Uncomfortable as he may be, for most of season 3 he’s accepted that this is his role. However, the attention this season shifts from Wilhelm to Simon, who’s now the one facing public scrutiny. The difference is that, unlike Wille, there’s no role for Simon to play. Nothing about who he is or what he believes is compatible with the public image the monarchy is putting forward. The only thing he can do in this situation is disappear, and Wilhelm is tasked with having to ask that of him. 

I know a lot of people were exasperated at Simon’s very bad and clumsy social media presence. I’m not gonna argue that my boy wasn’t being a bit cringey, because he absolutely was. But I think the larger commentary here has more to do with the expectation that these two teenagers have to censor and edit themselves to comply with a particular PR image. 

Ultimately, the criticism that Wilhelm will always be famous leads us straight back to the institution. Why does an underage boy have the same PR expectations as a politician? Why is a teenager dating his classmate + being cringe online justification for doxxing him? Unfortunately, no abdication is really going to undo any of this, and things are certainly going to be crazy once Wilhelm announces he’s stepping down .

However, this time around both he and Simon will at least have the agency to decide what they want to do with their public image, including the decision to disappear from the public completely if that’s what they want.

Queer representation 

This a sentiment that has been in the fandom for some time now. This was the main argument why some people wanted Wille to stay in the monarchy. Sure, the institution has always been about bloodlines and tradition. But wouldn’t it be so nice to have Wilhelm as a symbol for the queer community? I’ve always found this idea a bit shallow. I’m not sure how much of a symbol of a queer and progressive country Wilhelm could be, when the whole idea is predicated on absolutely no one having a choice in the matter. Is it really impressive to accept the queerness of the guy you already had no choice in accepting?  

There’s three scenes in season 3 where the potential Wilhelm -and by extension Simon-  could have for the queer community come up.  Farima brings it up in the first episode, but the framing here is reversed. Wilhelm isn’t serving the LGBTQ community by being a queer Prince, but the monarchy is using Wilhelm (and his queerness) to appear progressive.

The show, however, does humor this idea with the May 1st photo. We see what Simon and Wilhelm could potentially do for the community by simply existing as who they are: they’re inspirational. It gives Simon, briefly, hope that maybe something good could come out of this. 

But this moment is quite literally framed by politics. It doesn't matter that Simon is not participating in that manifestation, anything that is slightly connected with politics is a challenge to neutrality of the monarchy. This same idea is stated more explicitly int the next episode, when Wilhelm is reviewing the options for his charity.

Ultimately, any action significant enough to be truly impactful, would be bordering the limits of what could be considered political. He's got to stick it out with these quite frankly boring and limited themes, all for the sake of staying on the very narrow lane of things that are not political.

The weight of the crown. 

Stories about Kings and Queens usually carry the same fundamental tension of duty vs self. 

In order to rule, our protagonist has to sacrifice themselves, usually for the sake of their country and people. The Crown is an excellent example of this type of story. Sacrifice in that series is framed as something noble and selfless. 

Young Royals started out with this same fundamental tension, but the main difference is that Young Royals has framed this debate as a question: 

Why should Wilhelm give himself up, his happiness, the love of his life, and  his mental well-being? What’s so important and valuable about this institution that requires this sacrifice?

Wilhelm’s journey is about accepting and voicing his answer. He doesn’t want to be Crown Prince, he doesn’t want to be King. 

But by virtue of taking part of this journey with him, we’re able to examine this question from a different perspective: Is this institution valuable enough to justify all of this? I think the show is inviting all of us to evaluate this situation and arrive at the conclusion that it isn’t.

Even someone like August, who wanted this, is weighed down by the realization of just how much the crown weighs. Of course, a big part of the fandom probably doesn’t live in countries with parliamentary monarchies. Still, considering the worldwide popularity of the British Royals, for example, I still think it’s a worthwhile exercise to question the validity of these institutions. Are they really worth sustaining? And if they’re not, why should we continue to drag them on into the present, citing tradition?

[vyl3tpwny]

genuine question: why is genesis so low on ur topsters?

also, if you can: could i hear why hawaii: part ii is rated 3.5 on ur rateyourmusic? (as opposed to like. anything higher)

(p. s. your music inspires me to be the sincerest version of myself, and for that i thank you. the impact you've had on my life is unforgettable.)

genesis isn't rated low. my number one album of all time is genesis' "the lamb lies down on broadway", for about 16 years running. my topster is organized by relative colour, it's not perfect but it just looks nice!

—

when it comes to talking about music, what i like and like about it, almost 100% of the time i NEVER want to discourage people, talk down to artists, or claim my opinion as fact. the only time i will actively talk down about art is if it's purposefully harmful (see artists like: Tom Macdonald, etc).

with that said, music by miracle musical - and by extension tally hall - often does this thing where there are a handful of really impressive, well written songs that just blow me away. but then the rest of the album outside of those handful of songs are either just ok/catchy or don't interest me very much. the tally hall gang's highs are very high, and equally their lows are just sort of pace-killers for the albums.

it's dynamics like these that prevent me from liking some of my other albums for similar problems! i think albums like queen of misfits and glitter are bogged down by an absurd amount of boring filler that could have just been left out or reworked to be more interesting, it makes it hard to ever listen to those albums front to back. ironically i don't feel that way about fairytails, my 40-song long ass album, almost everything in it still feels rather purposeful to me. i listen to my own music a lot, and once i've finished a project i tend to try and listen to it and enjoy it from an audience perspective rather than an artist one.

while i'm on the topic, i don't necessarily agree with even rating hawaii pt. ii 3.5 because in the past few years i've completely lost interest in the idea of weighing albums by arbitrary scores. nowadays i like to just give 4-5's to albums i like and then ignore anything else. it doesn't really make sense to me to assign a number score to something with good faith, other than to show that score to other people. interfacing with art is not a black and white process. despite the so-called 3.5/5.0 score i gave hawaii pt. ii whenever that was, the reality is that record has influenced me and i've enjoyed it. honestly that's what matters the most. we can sit here and talk album dynamics, technicalities, compositional proficiency, lyric profundity, and """""consistency"""""" (which is a word music critics love to throw around without actually realizing what the fuck they're talking about) all day, but what matters the most is:

Did you like the music? (Yes/No)

Did it inspire you in some way? (Yes/No) [Optional]

Does it seek to do harm? (Yes/No)

Do you respect the efforts and goals of the artist? (Yes/No) [Should always be the inverse of Question 3; i.e; if you answer No to 3, then you should answer Yes to 4]

honestly if you answer yes, yes, no, yes, then it's a good album. i really don't care. not every piece of art has to push the envelope to new heights and be the most innovative thing in the world - i mean wouldn't that be extremely fatiguing and overwhelming? everyone wants to be a critic and tear down shit that doesn't click with them within the first viewing/listen these days, i don't know why, it's probably an ego thing, bred by the echo chambers in the corners of the internet. but a lot of music criticism can be COMPLETELY discarded in favour of "this just isn't for me", and a lot of people go leaps and bounds, doing mental gymnastics over internal compensations, to just avoid saying the dreaded phrase of "this just isn't for me".

trust me, i'm someone who has immense experience with tearing other people down to compensate for my internal insecurities, it happens extremely often which is why a lot of art criticism makes ZERO fucking sense. it's never about making meaningful commentary about anything, it's always just trying to justify in the format of a dissertation - the subjective experience of "this just isn't for me".

so. do i like hawaii pt. ii? yep. is it a perfect album? no. why did i rate it 3.5? probably because at the time i wanted someone somewhere to perceive me as Very Articulated and Well Educated In The Realm of Discussing Art In Front of Other People, in Order to Appear Superior in Intellect and Refined in Taste, Because I'm Insecure Just Like Everyone Else.

[hsficrecommendation]

Hello Everyone! This is masterlist #4 (June of 2023!) for the all fics I have reblogged on this side blog I hold super close to me. Remember to leave feedback and reblog all the writings below!

Also, a huge thank you to all the writers mentioned, I adore you so very much and I hope you keep writing for yourselves <3

••• JUNE •••

Valentine's Day | Y/N receives a special candy gram on Valentine’s Day. - @nationalharryleague

French Fries | Harry kept glancing at her as he drove. “M’sorry about our date,” he whispered. “I don’t know what you’re apologizing for,” she shrugged and reached over to squeeze his arm while he held the steering wheel. “I had a lovely time.” - @1d1195

Shy | Close | Motherly Love | Don't Leave Me | Mother's Day | ♡ When Harry runs into a perfect stranger at a supermarket, he doesn’t know what to expect. After having been single for over a year and raising Amelia without a mother, dating somebody new feels impossible… that is, until she wins over the heart of his daughter. - @harry-writings

Vogue Beauty Secrets | Actress!Y/N does the Vogue Beauty Secrets video, and Harry decides to help. - @astranva

Gonna be Better in the Morning | Jeff and reader get into a fight and Harry takes Jeff's side. (As always, there is a happy ending with lots of comforts) - @harryhoney-bee

Work of Art | A cute little fluffy artist!Harry piece with a hint of angst! - @nationalharryleague

Update | The Best Present | Harry falls for a mysterious girl from YouTube. - @watchmegetobsessed

When The Levee Breaks | You're a waitress and Harry is being stood up. - @songbirdstyles

Playball | ♡ The reader owns a bakery and hates baseball, but what happens when her town’s bigshot MLB player walks into her bakery and she finds herself catching feelings unaware of his occupation? - @writingsbymarie

The Con Artist | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | ♡ You're a wanted criminal and when Harry Styles, the detective on the case, finally catches up to you- he finds it difficult to resist your charms. - @gurugirl

Baby Steps | You’re Harry’s son's therapist, and he isn’t the only one you end up helping. - @enthusiasticharry

Mute | ♡♡ Where Harry doesn’t talk and falls in love with Y/n. - @harry-writings

Score and Smash | In which their university holds an annual boy vs girl football match, the highly anticipated game of the year has arrived and Harry and Y/N hate each other just as equally until Y/N is under Harry.

Quid Pro Quo | Another lawyer!Harry. Technically six years before this piece. Enemies to lovers with plenty of angst! - @talesofstyles

Six Months (Part 23) | ♡ Layla desperately needs a vacation and her Aunt and Uncle come to her rescue. So, at twenty two, she packs her bag and jets off to America. Harry took a break from education and is now a full fledged content creator on OnlyFans. At twenty, he makes more money than almost all of his friends. What ensues when these two meet and realise the windows in their rooms face each other? How will paper airplanes bring them closer together? - @fishnets-fingers

2022 : Masterlist #1 , #2 , #3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 2023 : Masterlist #1, 2, 3 (June masterlist would be continued in the next list!)

My official writing account in case you'd like to check out my fics too: @0oolookitsme :)

[lesb0]

I'm always trying to stay on the cutting edge of every permutation of our constantly evolving visual culture but the elusiveness of every new form makes it difficult for me, even as one of the youngest possible millennials. in fashion, my freshman students are all wearing 2000s or "y2k" fashion: baggy grungy or baby phat hiphop, with an elevated touch of modesty, good color theory, and a stark awareness of bodily proportion. in memes, legendary 00s icon, lisa frank. its embarrassing to follow influencers with over 10 mil, now, as if it breaks the parasocial connection.

someone asked yesterday if tiktok is now the premier vehicle of visual culture. I open tiktok. on one side, a zoomed in interview with the mother of a shooting victim. but the other side is a compilation of slime videos, a woman cutting soap, life hacks, and chinese "smart" product placements. you can hear and see both. this bizarre genre, I can only recognize as content. on social media, content is technically anything you can doomscroll, the action of spending over 2 hours on a social media feed, a for you page, a timeline, a dashboard to tumblr addicts.

I'm watching cable TV with a girl I'm seeing. the ads are remarkably only geared towards boomers and older gen x. but, so is the 'content', bad action movies made for cable and reruns of 80s/90s TV shows, but the exact same show marathoned in hours long successions.

to be an effective art historian, I have to take things from this ever-shifting visual culture and translate it into the equally fickle and amorphous art world... so what does 'content' look like for museum shows? my first 100+ object loan show was in part by a colleague, a younger curator at BAMPFA. a massive exhibition of all female nonbinary artists, from the 60s PoMo feminists to the self obsessed identity displayers of today. I absolutely LOVED it. I had no problem enthusiastically flitting from object to object, frontwards and in reverse twice, to spend special time with all my favorites. a fave professor stopped me. I hadn't even recognized him in the excitement. he looked bewildered, but laughed about how giddy I was. he didn't write any criticism on the show. my boss at the time, our museum director, told me she thought it was "such a big mess". my favorite lesbian professor clutched onto her wife with an anxious look. my lesbian artist friend had panic attack and put his headphones on in a dark corner. on the other hand, the younger undergrad girls from berkeley looked elated and delighted, flitting around and oohing and aahing at my same pace. I learned one of them was an engineering student named erin who needed a feminist pickup from the disouragement in her male dominated field.

so how has the 'content' show, or the art world reception to them, changed in the past 4 years? well for one, it seems like major flagship institutions are dropping the mononym altogether. as the french impressionists take over the east coast, none of shows feature one painter as a sole focus, but curators use juxtapositions to keep people interested. in MoMAs, monoynym shows are reserved for major retrospectives or figuratively and literally, monolith artists like simone leigh. the older art historians are hesitant to adapt to these changes. one of my favorite shows this summer, over 300 very different collection pieces packed onto the floor and across the hall, wasn't enjoyed by any of the critics I know. My dates all hated it. except one, a hot ADHD butch who had a tiktok doomscrolling addiction.

what does this mean for the future of how shows are displayed.... how do museums let go of the traditional princely standard: 3.5 inch hangings with a 25 degree downwards tilt? is it better or worse to compromise museums into messy 17th century curiosity cabinets?

[somedayillbepeterpan]

Finally, I am able to continue this series.

I started doing The Butterfly Ball analysis as a way to get it out of my head because it had burrowed deep inside my brain that it was rotting my thoughts (which still hasn't stopped).

To understand my ramblings fully, you can go to the other parts here:

Start here | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Here we go for: PART 5: BLOCKING AND WHERE COLIN WAS WHILE PEN WAS REVEALING HERSELF AS LW

I've decided to chop this part into smaller pieces too because when I started part 5, the whole thing was way too long for my attention span. I really am so sorry about the deluge of thoughts that I have for this scene. I'm half tempted to copy Sammy Bates and create videos but I do not have the same talent that she has. So, you're stuck with me and my barrage of written thoughts.

Anyway, Part 5.1 - The stage layout

We've talked about the shape of the venue. We've talked about the aesthetics of the event. We've talked about clothes. And we've talked about music and dances.

Now, let's get to the nitty-gritty of things. Let's talk about the blocking of the whole scene. To start it off, we have to understand the layout of stage.

Just for context, at one point in my life, I studied cinematography and I love movies so I get keyed up with blocking and camera angle choices.

To give importance to how important this scene is, sweeping/panning shots that is 360 degrees in motion with about 150, maybe 200 people, in one room is a nightmare in logistics. Every shot has to matter and every shot has to be reviewed and set up precisely. Most of the ball scenes takes 1 week to shoot because of how technical it is. There is an interview of Tom Verica talking about plotting the whole scene (I think it was the Vanity Fair one).

The particular weight of this ball is shown in how it's set-up like a centre stage. Even the lighting and the floor design draws your attention inward. Out of the three seasons' Ep 8 balls, this is the only one elevated and without anything disrupting the centre.

I've drafted a diagram to fully understand how the whole stage looks like.

**you guys are allowed to call me crazy after this post.

There are 4 major sides that I will call anchor points as we go around this layout.

Entrance (in between the two bug cages)

Side entrance 1

Side entrance 2

Ostrich feathers

One particular stand out for me are the pillars around the stage. The pillars hides and distinctly divides each of the 4 anchor points. While this might go past a regular viewers' head, someone looking for it (or a crazy person like me) will understand the significance of each anchor point. It helps easily assign people on each side and and use blocking (+ camera shots) as a great storytelling device.

These 4 anchor points become very important when Pen goes on stage.

Because every single one of it stands an important woman in Pen's life.

(going clockwise from the entrance) Anchor point 1: Prudence by the entrance

Anchor point 2: Portia by side entrance 1

Anchor point 3: Philippa (+ Albion) by the Ostrich feathers

and Eloise (next to Fran, Alice Mondrich, and Lady Danbury) right by Anchor point 4: Side entrance 2

I just loved that every time Pen turned around, there was someone for her to look at and ground herself. Because what she did, being vulnerable and exposing that part of herself she has kept hidden for a very long time, couldn't have been easy.

(We will get to Colin after the next post if you're wondering where he is in all of this).

I understand that some people were disappointed in how the LW reveal/fallout was portrayed but just for a while, let me help you appreciate that in Pen's most vulnerable moment, these women had equal parts surprise and awe on their faces as they watch their sister/daughter/best friend own up to her mistakes and face the Queen herself. And while we didn't get much out of them in the aftermath in terms of communication, it was still wonderful to know that in the end, all these women become/is important for Pen to fully embrace who she is.

I'm hoping to put all of these out every 1-2 days so I can finally move on to writing other things.

Next up: Part 5.2 The Queen and the bugs

[moreausposts]

EXORCIST/FALLENWINGS LORE I PULLED OUT OF MY ASS

this is all my personal headcanons and just shit i made up, but viv if you wanna hire me i’m not complaining

first: i see the debate constantly on whether or not exorcists are heavenborn or human souls, and personally i think them being heavenborn is just objectively cooler. it puts a good contrast between the exorcists and the sinners, y’know, since if they were never on earth they never would have met any sinners to gain sympathy for and would be easier to brainwash. that being said, no i don’t think they were ever technically “born” as babies, but i don’t think they spawned as full grown adults either.

because all of the angels’ designs are based on birds, i like the idea of them hatching from eggs. it’s just so silly to me to imagine, i love it sm. so in my head they all hatched from a nest of eggs adam had sera poof into existence once they settled on the agreement that he was permitted to raise an army for the betterment of heaven (he was their mama bird <3) as probably around 3-4 biologically? going off of human years. because while kids would be easier for adam to train, thirty something screaming babies wouldn’t be of much use to him.

all of their names are stupid as fuck, vaggie just got the shortest end of the stick. lute’s full name is literally just lieutenant. half of them are just body parts (wings, legs… vaggie), some get random words that just barely suit them (tall one is tree, short one is pipsqueak), and some of his favorites get instruments (guitar, drumstick, trumpet, and lieutenant gets shortened to lute when she’s not annoying him)

adam chose his favorites before they even hatched btw. he picked all of the coolest eggs and put them into a little pile. (vaggie’s was slightly cracked and a weird shade of pink-ish purple compared to all of the other black and white eggs so he decided she would be vagina right then and there)

also just because of how bratty lute is in canon, she doesn’t give “spent years working to earn her position” to me (don’t get me wrong i love her that’s my bbg) and because her name is literally just lieutenant, i like to think that her egg was the one adam felt the most protective of which is why she was deemed lieutenant before she had even hatched. i also just don’t think he’d want to go through the headache of raising all of the girls equally for them to fight over the position of being his right hand when he could just have one pre-guaranteed and train her separately.

unfortunately, this backfired tremendously! because once the girls started growing up it was pretty clear that lute was the weakest and smallest of them all. yeah, i said it. she was a wimp. it took her like three years just to learn how to fly.

relating to the art above ^ this is how i think lute and vaggie became close!! because while she was pretty strong (honestly probably one of the highest ranking) she also didn’t have many friends. i love the fact that once she’s in hell she starts dressing more feminine and grows her hair out to break away from who she used to be, but while vaggie was younger, especially as a tween-teen she was super super tomboyish. she was seen as kind of aggressive, the troublemaker of the group. but one thing she never did was pick on lute for being weak. i see here protecting her a lot when they were kids.

because it really wasn’t fair to the other girls that adam favored lute so much from day one that her position was guaranteed, and that while they continued to grow and train they still had to take orders from someone so much weaker than them. there was a lot of animosity in their earlier years, especially before the exterminations really started (they were like 14 when the first one happened) and lute got pushed around a lot.

because adam and vaggie were the only two that were nice to her, she developed a super unhealthy attachment style to both of them. while vaggie genuinely cared about lute and wanted to protect her (this isn't me saying adam didn't care about her btw because she was probably the only person he ever actually loved), lute was definitely a moral dilemma for adam. because on one hand, here was this kid that looked up to him so much and he really did feel bad for her, but man was she fucking incompetent at times. still, he didn't boot her from her position as lieutenant, but he didn't do anything to help that unhealthy attachment either. he instead just used it to brainwash her even worse because it's adam and he doesn't know how to express love whatsoever. 😭 he was like a narcissistic parent, basically. if she did everything perfectly just the way he wanted it, she'd be praised and reminded why she was the favorite, but if she made one mistake... it was like a whole other person. and it was overwhelming, but lute did EVERYTHING she could to be what he wanted her to be because she craved validation so badly after being bullied so much. which is exactly why adam kept it up.

I picture her really starting to get it together at around, eh, 15-16?? something like that. old enough that she was beyond sick of being kicked around and desperate to do something about it. it was like an overnight switch. she stopped sleeping and started training on her own time, pushing herself to her limits, putting on a mask. and all of a sudden she was a mini adam without the humor and guitar solos. she was cold, she was viscous, and she was tired of letting other people take advantage of her when she was the one who was supposed to be in charge.

this definitely put a rift between her and vaggie, because the suddenly heartless leader was absolutely not the little kid vaggie took hit after hit to protect. lute didn't understand why vaggie hated the new her when she was so obviously better than she was before, right? but vaggie just wanted her friend back.

that being said, I told y'all these would be fallenwings hcs too. I don't see them being anything more than a situationship, at least pre-canon, but man was it rough. this was THE toxic homoerotic best friend situationship every repressed lesbian teen goes through, except with murder and betrayal!

like were they dating? not officially. but did they make out covered in blood and bruises after fist fighting in the middle of trying to have a conversation about what they were to each other? well well well... 😘

I feel like vaggie really wanted something more with lute, but lute was so in her own head with her own internalized homophobia and newfound fear of being seen as weak as she used to be that the second things started getting too far she got scared and ran. and what was the only way to get vaggie to stop trying to make her feel feelings™ again than to just... make her hate her altogether. it's easier that way, right? vaggie sparing the sinner was just the perfect excuse to justify herself.

though, who am I kidding? lute spent the next three years crying herself to sleep using her ex situationship's shirt as a pillowcase because her dumbass tried to kill her... and as soon as vaggie crashed back into her life alive and with a girlfriend... well, if at first you don't succeed!

thank you for reading this long ass ramble 😭 here's a baby lute as a bonus:

[theerurishipper]

Could you please explain why Cat Noir is no longer healing for Adrien after season 4? I technically know the answer but I love your metas <3

Thank you so much for your compliment!

Anyway, about your question. The short version? They made Ladybug treat Chat Noir like Gabriel treats Adrien.

Let me explain. The Ladynoir conflict was about how Ladybug and Chat Noir were experiencing a shift in their dynamic because of Ladybug’s new role as the guardian. Ladybug starts to keep secrets from Chat Noir and leave him out of the loop. She replaces him with Rena Rouge as her primary partner in all but name. And Chat Noir understandably feels neglected and ignored by someone who is supposed to be his partner. His home life is shit, and Ladybug and his life as Chat Noir have always been his escape. Ladybug has been the one who accepted him unconditionally and cared for him with no need for him to change himself to please her. He trusts her with his life and heart, and suddenly, she doesn’t do the same for him. Instead, she’s keeping secrets from him, she’s leaving him out of things and more or less treats him as “just another holder.” And yeah, this is because of her new responsibilities as the Guardian and her trauma from Chat Blanc. But the fact remains that even if she wants to make these changes, she should tell him.

It's pretty obvious now that Marinette has a controlling side to her, and that shows itself more than ever. She wants to control everything, she admits it herself in Strikeback. And that includes Chat Noir. She controls what he knows and what he can do, and denies him information he actually needs. She lashes out at him and dismisses him when he does try to talk to her, like in Kuro Neko. And this behavior is, how do I say it, very much like what Gabriel is. Of course it is more understandable than Gabe and it is certainly nowhere close to the level of Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien, which is abuse plain and simple, but there are some… similarities. They both keep him at a distance, they both start making decisions for him, they both want to have control over everything, and that includes him. They both take advantage of his trust and forgiveness and they both take him for granted.

Again, Ladybug doesn’t go anywhere near the levels Gabe has reached with his treatment of Adrien, but she does in fact take advantage of his trust. Ephemeral is the worst offender here, with Ladybug actively deciding to trick Chat Noir into an identity reveal without his consent. I think it’s awful to do that to someone. And what’s worse is that the episode ends with her not even realizing that she was wrong to do something like that.

Anyway, she’s treating him not unlike the way he’s treated at home. And while her actions are obviously not as severe and not as malicious as Gabe… it doesn’t change the fact that Chat Noir feels suddenly less like an escape, and Ladybug becomes not much different from the people who only like to see him as an object or a perfect little doll. He used to mean something to her as her partner, and now he doesn’t. He’s just another tool in her toolbox. He’s just someone who’s in the way. Ladybug doesn’t care for him anymore. He’s a bother.

She used to roll her eyes at his flirtations, but now she flips out and throws him in a trashcan for them. She used to treat him like an equal partner, but now she yells at him if he tries to talk to her or help her. He’s bothering her. He’s in the way. And he’s not good enough.

So he quits.

And then he decides that he wants to be the partner Ladybug wants. Not Chat Noir, who is his escape and the only way he can be free. No he’s going to be the Adrien side of himself, the perfect doll who wants for nothing except to cater to Ladybug’s needs.

Now, here is where the show loses the plot. Kuro Neko is supposed to be the resolution to the Ladynoir conflict, apparently. And the way it happens is… Adrien putting aside his valid concerns and emotions because Ladybug needs help, and apologizing to her for wanting to be treated with respect. Which is what Gabe taught him. That his feelings don’t matter, and that he should be perfect and cater to everybody’s desires for how he should be. That he shouldn’t have emotional needs because he’s too emotional and he’s a burden on others for having them. He literally says, “the boy who was Chat Noir was probably too sensitive,” which is what Gabe taught him! That Adrien was too emotional to be able to make his own decisions, and so Gabriel had to protect him and keep him in control. He had to be perfect for everyone because in reality, he was too emotional, and no one wanted to see that.

And Ladybug accepts this! She also thinks that Chat Noir is being a bother, and she starts crushing on Catwalker so quickly. And this isn’t salt on her for crushing on Catwalker, but it is so bad from a narrative standpoint and when you consider the implications of that. You see, what Adrien is doing with this whole Catwalker thing is something called fawning. It’s a trauma response because of Gabe's abuse. He pushes aside his own needs and desires to please Ladybug. He assumes responsibility for her mistakes and blames it on himself. At the end of the episode, he apologizes to her! And she just says some things about how he’s irreplaceable to her and how she needs him and all that.

And what is tells me is that Ladybug doesn’t like when Chat Noir has emotional needs and expectations of her in their partnership, and that she likes only boys who take care of her emotional needs without expecting anything in return. Adrien just seems so perfect and unbothered by anything, and he’s always praising and encouraging her. Luka always put her emotional needs first and was always in her corner even when she didn’t pay as much attention to their relationship. And now Catwalker, who says he’ll take care of her. And considering the Love Square from a writing standpoint is supposed to have Ladybug fall for both sides of Chat Noir, seeing her fall so quickly for him when he denies himself his needs and accepts being her emotional support partner is not the best look.

And what’s worse is that this reaction from Adrien is because he is an abuse victim. He is once again, putting on a mask to make himself into the person Ladybug wants. And they specifically say that he should act like the “perfect son” side of himself, so Adrien is acting the way for Ladybug the way he usually acts for Gabriel. And he ends the episode by apologizing for having emotions and for inconveniencing her. And since Adrien pushing aside his own desires is a trauma response, and Ladybug likes people who don’t inconvenience her with their emotions, it comes across as Ladybug benefitting from Chat Noir being traumatized, and it’s so great for her that Chat Noir comes pre-abused and ready to supress his emotional needs and cater to hers while demanding nothing from her.

Yikes.

But let’s move on to Strikeback, where Ladybug admits her mistakes. She admits she wanted to control things, that she pushed him away and left him in the dark. He hugs and reassures her he’s always here, and it’s beautiful and sweet. The Ladynoir conflict was not resolved, but surely, they would address it next season, right? Surely, we would get episodes of Ladybug apologizing and working to make up for her mistakes, right? Surely Chat Noir wouldn’t just forget this treatment, right?

It's never brought up again in Season 5. In fact, Season 5, where the Gabriel-Marinette parallels are really hammered down onto us, ends with Marinette siding with Gabriel and lying to Adrien about his entire existence. So, the entire conflict ends with Chat Noir putting aside his own emotional needs because Ladybug is sad, and he just accepts that he’ll never be treated with the respect that he wanted. Ladybug doesn’t learn squat, and she just does the same things again, but even worse this time.

At this point, they have their own toxic cycle. Ladybug does something to Chat, he puts his own needs aside to forgive and support her instead/accepts the blame onto himself, she does it again. All the while, he’s offering her emotional support while pushing away any of his feelings so that he doesn’t inconvenience her with them. When he does seem at the end of his rope, she says something along the lines of “I need you,” or “you’re irreplaceable to me,” and he comes right back to her, ready to continue being her emotional support partner even though she never actually fixes her mistakes. And while she obviously does mean what she says to him, her actions prove otherwise, and they end up coming across as similar to those little concessions Gabe gives Adrien so that he won’t get away from him. And this is never resolved. Season 5 ignored it, but it was never resolved, and the finale just brings it back full throttle with Marinette literally siding with Gabriel and doing what he wants.

This should have been an arc showing how Ladybug’s and Gabriel’s treatment of Adrien is ultimately different. They both make the same mistakes, though Gabriel is worse. But what’s different is that Ladybug actually does love and value Chat Noir, and she would never go as far as that because learns and grows, and because she is a good person. But instead, they had the protagonist act like the love interest’s abuser, established a bunch of parallels between them, and had her literally follow his request on how to treat his victim. They flat out went beyond it being a coincidental parallel. She’s literally doing what he wants at his own request. Not a good look for the abuse victim’s girlfriend to be behaving like the abuser.

But that was a long tangent. Anyway, to sum it up, Chat Noir was supposed to be Adrien’s escape from a toxic, controlling environment into one where he could be free. But everything changed when Season 4 attacked. And Adrien goes back to his trauma responses that he tries to escape from as Chat Noir, and this is treated as good and correct by the narrative. His hero life is also now being controlled, and Ladybug is behaving like Gabriel. His life where he once felt free is just another prison.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for your ask!

[simvanie]

7 Sins Legacy - generation 4 (pride)

While Rohan made an attempt to stop Supriya from walking away, Supriya barely noticed that the musicians had cleared the floor for Suraj, who had taken his place behind the microphone: "Dear friends and colleagues, I would like to make an official public announcement tonight..."

Rohan: I don't get it. You've done more for our campaign in the past weeks than everyone else combined. And we are so close to winning the city's elections, why would you suddenly want to leave?

Supriya: Oh you really want to know? Imagine what will happen to the party when I quit- With all the publicity I've had, it'll be on the front page of the newspapers, and journalists will be lining up because they want to know why. And I'll tell them exactly why they're better off voting for someone other than... you.

Rohan: This job interview is for another political party, isn't it? Tell me, do you actually want to work there? Or is it because you think that you can't get to where you actually want to be in this party, so you've built your walls so high that you've completely closed yourself off from everything that has to do with it. And the only option you think you have left is to run away. Because if so, I hate to break it to you, but you probably won't make yourself happy with that decision.

"...I assume many of you already heard speculations, so it probably won't come as a surprise that the rumors are true. I want you all to know that I've decided to officially retire...."

Supriya: Oh! That's rich coming from someone who has it easy with his influential dad arranging everything for him! And you don't know what is best for me-

Rohan: Please, listen to me. It doesn't mean that I don't agree with you- Everyone deserves an equal chance, but you also have to know that there is a big chance that you'll encounter similar kind of situations somewhere else. Especially in this political world.

Supriya: What do you want then?! Do you want me to stay so I can congratulate you when your dad announces that you will get the position? Because I'm NOT going to do that- Besides, if you agree that everyone deserves an equal chance, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE SOMETHING ABOUT IT?!

" ...and that is why I, along with all our colleagues in the party, have unanimously decided to give the position as party leader to Supriya."

Suraj turned towards Supriya. "If you want it of course. So, what do you say?"

Supriya couldn't believe if she had heard it right and had to take a second while everyone slowly turned their heads towards her. "...Y- yes, yes of course!"

Suraj smiled and gave her a nod before turning his attention back to the public. "Very well, I suggest we leave the technicalities for the transfer until Monday and spend the rest of the night enjoying this gala that my lovely wife helped organizing."

Supriya: Did you- I... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Rohan: Congratiulations, you deserve it. Supriya: It's- This is amazing... That you did this!!! Oh, you've no idea what this means to me, I could kiss you right now! I-

.... Rohan: ...So why don't you?

For the first time, the feeling that had been slowly creeping up on Supriya since she met Rohan, and that she had been trying to ignore and push away ever since she found out that Rohan was Suraj's son, slipped through the walls she had so carefully built.

Rohan: ....Since I don't think you have to get up early tomorrow morning anymore, what do you say if we, when this gala is over, get some takeout from that new Mexican place near your apartment to celebrate? Supriya: Hm, I'd love that.

[naquey]

20 Qs for fic writers

(inspired by @icegirl2772's post)

How many works do you have on AO3?

29!

2. What's your total word count?

498,403

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Drake & Josh, Harry Potter, Big Time Rush (TV), Cobra Kai, Scream (Movies), Nanbaka, and Black Butler.

But if we're counting Quotev, the original site I used then there's FNAF, Creepypasta, and Eddsworld.

4. Top five fics by Kudos:

Entrusted To You, Uno's brother, Rumors (Adele sang it best), This Is Not Okay, What Is Wrong With Me?

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love talking to my readers (unless its a hate comment lol) and talking to my readers can help gain a different perspective.

6. What is the five you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Most of my works are one shots. I believe the angstiest ending is tied between Fame and Haunted. But technically Haunted was a scrapped scene that didn't make it into Fame.

7. What is the five you wrote with the happiest ending?

There's a lot of them... But if I have to choose then Drake Loves Marnie.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Well no, not even when I was on Quotev. I did get my first hate comment which was really funny. I'm not saying I want more of them tbh, but I guess I just want more people to express their opinion lol.

9. Do you write smut?

Very RARELY. It only happens once in a blue moon because I'm either too intimidated to write it, or if I do write it I'm too intimidated to post it. Smut is so awkward to write and half the time I'm worried I'm writing it wrong lmao.

10. Craziest Crossover?

Well... I don't have many crossovers; I only have Drake & Josh with Big Time Rush, only because I wanted my OCs to interact. To be honest, I'm very picky when it comes to crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I can give it a shot if anyone wants any of them translated! Or if anyone would like to translate my fics/one-shots, feel free to do so as long as you credit me!

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Four times in the past. All of which nearly discouraged me from writing lmao. Not that I wouldn't want to cowrite a fic, but I would have to talk about it more with someone instead of just doing it.

13. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. But I doubt anyone would let me know if I had one stolen tbh...

14. All-time favorite ship?

Uhh... Canon? Oc? Good question... I have far too many circulating in my head like a rotisserie chicken lmao. I can't choose. But currently, I'm thinking a lot about Kenonnie (Kendall Knight/Veronica Clark)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My backroom novel idea. Like, I want to be able to traditionally (or independently) publish it. It's a horror book I'm very passionate about, but... I stopped writing at ch 3 because liminal spaces work best as a visual.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I genuinely have no idea, but if I had to guess it might be dialogue. I talk to myself in my room very frequently which... I guess helps with dialogue???

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, this one is easy! Spelling and grammar! I am fighting Grammarly on everything I'm writing because it's taking my personality out of my stories. But it keeps me from spelling words wrong.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I'm more scared to do this wrong. I have a couple of characters that speak French, but I avoid using it to a degree because I can't fathom being disrespectful and accidentally getting someone's language wrong.

19. First fandom you ever wrote in?

Eddsworld...

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I love my children equally- kidding! As of right now, I am very biased towards Ghostwriter. It started as a challenge to write more than usual and it succeeded, it is currently my longest running fic.

Usually, I splice my fics up into ten-chapter arcs, but since Ghostwriter doesn't have a concrete ending, it reached over thirty chapters, lol. It's also the one I'm writing the most because my brain cannot process anything else. I'm laser-focused on BTR right now.

[theinquisitxor]

Best and Worst Series 2024

I saw a booktuber do a video of these questions and I really liked them, so thought that I could answer them here! Credit goes to bookslikewhoa & thoughtsontomes on youtube. Feel free repost and add your own answers!

My post from last year

In total I read 22 series in some shape or form:

I read and completed 8 series this year (meaning I read books 1 -> the end)

I finished/wrapped up 3 series this year (meaning I was waiting on a sequel to be released)

I started 15 series (whether I finished them or not)

I caught up with 0 series

I continued with 1 series

I DNF'ed 6 (maybe 7) series

1.What is the best series that you caught up with this year that is still a work in progress? Emily Wilde series by Heather Fawcett, the last book comes out early next year. (maybe the Saint of Steel series too, but it's not confirmed if T Kingfisher is writing more)

2.What is the best completed series that you are still catching up with? Technically Discworld since I read Equal Rites over the summer, but I'm really taking my time with the Discword books, and only reading them very sporadically

3.What was your favorite first book in a series this year? Daughter of the Forest no doubt. It's an amazing book, and could work as a standalone too.

4.What is a first book in a series you read this year that you think should have been a standalone, not a series? An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors, but really the first book tells a completed story. It seems like the other books are just a new adventure for the characters. So I feel like this only half counts as an answer. I enjoyed reading it, but didn't feel the need to continue.

5.What is your most over-hyped series of the year? A Winter's Promise by Christelle Dabos. I was expecting this to be a new favorite, but I was so bored reading it :(

6.What is a series that you DNFed this year? The Stardust Thief, another one I was expecting to love, but I just could not get into it.

7.What was your favorite series finale of the year? The Bloody Throne which is the last book in the Hostage of Empire series. There was such a good buildup to this book and the events at the end.

8.What was the biggest cliffhanger you had in a series this year? Maybe the end of Blade Breaker by Victoria Aveyard? But I might dnf this series-- I don't even really remember what happened at the end, other than it was a cliffhanger.

9.What is your most anticipated next book in a series that you read this year that will come out next year? The next book in the Wayward Children series comes out in January 2025. I'm so glad I caught up with this series last year.

10.What is your most anticipated series to catch up with? I didn't read any Tracy Deonn books this year, but I am so excited for Oathbound next year!

11.What was your favorite series that you finished this year? Sevenwaters series by Juliet Mariller. Each book was so fulfilling and satisfying and lovely.

12. What is the most surprising series you liked this year? I really wasn't sure what I would think of A Memory Called Empire duology, I suspected I would either love it or hate it. I loved it, so that's what I'm going with for this question.

13.What is a series you finally bailed on after holding onto it for a long time? I read the first two Realm Breaker books early in 2024, and I've been going back and forth on whether I wanted to try and read the last book, but I really don't think I am. I barely remember what happened in the first books.

14.What is the series you meant to catch up with or finish this year that you didn't? None really! I either completed series or dnf'd them!

15.What is a series you finished or caught up with this year that you think is greater than the sum of its parts? Probably Chrestomanci. I over all enjoyed the books, but not on the same level as HMC series. I enjoyed several of the Chrestomanic books, but a few of the books I didn't care much for.

If you're still reading, here are all the series I read or started this year. This is more for my record keeping then anything else!

A Winter's Promise (Mirror Visitor Series) by Christelle Dabos. Series DNF, not planning on continuing with any other books

Realm Breaker & Blade Breaker by Victoria Aveyard. Tentative dnf, not sure if I want to read the last book or not, I didn't really care for the first two.

The Atlas Complex by Olivie Blake. Completed this series

Emily Wilde's Map of the Otherlands by Heather Fawcett. Continued this series, waiting for last book to be released

Beartown series by Frederick Backman. Read entire series

Mislaid in Parts Half Known (Wayward Children 9) by Seanan Mcguire. continued this series, waiting for next book to be released.

Hostage of Empire Series by EC Emmett. Read entire series this year

House of Flame and Shadow by SJM, completed this series.

What Feasts at Night by T Kingfisher, read latest release

The Prisoner's Throne by Holly Black, completed this series.

An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors by Curtis Craddock. Enjoyed this as a standalone, not planning on reading the rest.

The Witch Collector by Charissa Weaks, series DNF

The Greenhollow Duology by Emily Tesh, read both

The First Law series by Joe Abercrombie, read entire series

Equal Rites (Discworld 3) by Terry Pratchett, continued series

The Stardust Thief by Chelsea Abduallah, series DNF not planning on continuing

The Book of the Unnamed Midwife by Meg Elison. Enjoyed this as a standalone, not planning on reading the rest

Chrestomanci series by DWJ, read entire series

Sevenwaters series by Juliet Mariller, read entire series

The Saint of Steel series by T Kingfisher, read entire series

Teixcalaan duology by Arkady Martine, read both books

Echo North by Joanna Ruth Meyer, not planning on reading spinoff book

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Crosshair and Omega's dynamic

Spoilers for episode 4

Out of all of Omega's relationships with the Batch, I have to say my favorite is the one with Crosshair (and it's not because I'm biased towards him). Even though they only had like two full episodes to work off each other, they do it so well. It's peak sibling relationship. But why I think it works so well is because of how they work off each other. In my eyes, Omega and Cross see each other as equals or at least on similar levels. This is evident with how they guide each other when fleeing from the Empire. There's no clear leader between them, the pair listen to each other depending on the situation.

Crosshair's skills are basically fighting and playing lookout. Both are very handy to have. Whenever a fight breaks out, Omega lets Crosshair take the lead and he works to protect her and himself. That's not to say Omega can't hold her own, but when the going gets tough, the tough get going (credit Lion King 2 for that cheesy line). Cross also takes a natural protective stance around her. While she does the technical stuff, he keeps watch. He might say it isn't part of his skill set, but believe me, it is.

Then, we have Omega. She's much better at hustling and seeking alternative ways to get things done. It's true that blaster fire will draw more attention to one's self. Thus, Crosshair lets her guide him in situations where they need to be more low-profile. Omega is also better with social situations imo. She's a smart kid who learned a lot from her other brothers and Cid. I love that the show gives both characters to exercise their unique skill set while not undermining the other.

The other reason why I love their relationship so much is because of how it's changed Crosshair. In the months that he and Omega have been imprisoned, he's truly grown to care for and respect her. First off, he uses her name. The only other people he does that with is Hunter and Wrecker. Secondly, he follows her lead with almost no question. He does complain and make comments. BUT, he still follows her. Crosshair in season 1 mocked Hunter for listening to Omega. Little did he know that he would follow her over 6 months later (yes, I did the math).

And then there's the emotional piece of it. Crosshair is so open with Omega in his body language, facial expressions, and words. She brings out the best side of him and I am here for it. Compare that to when we first meet him in Clone Wars. He's quiet, hangs back, and usually wears a stern look on his face. Now look at him with Omega. He's much more talkative. His face emits so much emotion from being fed up to genuine concern. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves Omega. He encourages her and openly voices his concerns. I myself struggle with opening up to others about certain except for a few people. Seeing Crosshair opening to someone who he feels comfortable with is truly beautiful and heartwarming. Between Mayday and Omega, you can see just how much Crosshair has changed.

Finally, the imperial officer casually calling Crosshair Omega's dad and her not saying anything proves that Crossdad is real. It's so on the nose, but it's so obvious that Crosshair cares for her and is good at keeping her safe.

[y2klostandfound]

Review - Jet Set Radio Future on Evolution Magazine Vol.3 (Videogame Magazine) (Italy, 2002)

Translation in English:

(Page 54-55)

DISTRIBUTION - INFOGRAMES

GENRE: ACTION PLAYERS: 1-4 MANUFACTURER: SEGA DEVELOPER: SMILEBIT FORMAT:XBOX MEDIA: DVD-ROM

The concept of love, roller skates and a can of spray paint...

Almost two years ago, Jet Set Radio for the Dreamcast revolutionized the concept of modern video games. It wasn't a sequel, it wasn't a third-person adventure, it couldn't benefit from a character of attraction like Sonic but, despite everything, we were facing a great game. To tell the truth, it wasn't even easy to classify it in a precise genre; Jet Set Radio was an action game, but it had one feature that was increasingly difficult to find in this industry; the originality. Too bad that for most everything has gone unnoticed for the simple fact of running on Dreamcast. Fortunately, the European launch of the Xbox has resurrected a franchise deserving of the attention of the mass (yes: I said mass) of gamers.

The scenario of the action is a futuristic Tokyo of 2024, in which we will dart around with our "fireblade" model skates at high speed, drawing graffiti on the walls and performing acrobatic evolutions on all plausible and "grindable" surfaces. The aim of the mission, in the role of the young skater Yoyo, will be to recruit new members for our gang (after having regularly defeated them) and fight the terrible Rokkaku, a corporation that keeps the city on fire and acts with the complicity of the police local. This will chase us with any means, including tanks and helicopters! The whole adventure will be narrated by Professor K, a rebel DJ at the head of the transgressive private radio Jet Set. After passing the tutorial, disguised as the first level of the game, and having made the acquaintance of Gum and Corn (already present in the Dreamcast version ) we will be ready to dive into the most eclectic and fun challenge of our new career as writers: painting the walls of the city! And it's a real blast running around Tokyo, especially thanks to the beauty of the levels, some of which are truly jaw-dropping. Local traffic, crows perched on the roofs of houses, people in modern clothes who run away when they see us, everything has been created with particular attention to the refinement of detail. Unlike the first episode, in which the graffiti was created through complex rotations of the analog stick, now it is sufficient to press the R key (or the X and Y keys if you are in the air); understandable choice, if you take into account the fact that most of the graffiti you will have to do during the race. Jet Set Radio Future, in fact, is faster and more adrenaline-pumping than the prequel, and the emphasis was placed by Smilebit more on the stunts to be performed with skates than on the drawing of the graffiti. Precisely for this reason, to try to reach the most hidden areas to paint, we will have to learn how best to exploit the livery of our skates to slide (grind) on the most unusual surfaces (telephone wires, railings, stairs and lamp posts) and increase the thrust of our jumps. Furthermore, after collecting ten cans of spray paint, we will be able to activate the turbo boost, useful for having a greater thrust during the stunt phase. This effect is emphasized by the Xbox hardware through a spectacular screen deformation, which lets the gamer's jaw sink a few feet.

If all this were not enough, know that by continuing in the missions we will be able to select new characters, each with their own personal characteristics, from a rich roster that includes twenty-one skaters. JSRF is not only great playability: the originality and immediacy of the gameplay are accompanied by an equally valid technical realization. Graphically, Jet Set is one of the best titles to appear on Xbox so far, if not the best. The three-dimensional engine behind the Sega production is entirely in cel shading: although the environment is entirely polygonal, the less trained eye has the impression of watching and playing a real cartoon. The large number of moving objects on the screen at the same time immediately catches the eye; but the much-discussed slowdowns are very few and, certainly, not such as to negatively affect the gameplay.

The richness of details is astonishing: not only will you be "inundated" by polygons wherever you turn, but also the variety and resolution of the textures are incredible. The whole game is full of touches of class: lighting effects, lens flare used at best, stylistic traits designed to give greater dynamism and speed to the evolution of the characters, very vast and decidedly "alive" environments. And all of this shoots at an almost constant 60fps! Fortunately, Xbox Pai owners weren't penalized by the conversion: JSRF makes use of the 60 hertz mode, the image is full screen, without annoying black bars, and all the dialogues have been subtitled in Italian.

The audio part is no less impressive, with a soundtrack that mixes songs from the Japan and U.S.A versions of Jet Set Radio and adds new ones. The opening track made by Hideki Naganuma (The Concept Of Love) is already an editorial catchphrase, and we wouldn't be surprised if you started humming it habitually, too. If you own a Hi-Fi system with Dolby Digital 5.1 decoding, be sure to plug in Xbox and savor the sweet panning of Jet Set Radio Future. If you do not yet own it, you may be satisfied with the more classic stereo mode.

“...the originality and immediacy of the gameplay are accompanied by an equally valid technical realization.”

Some elements of the three-dimensional environments can be destroyed.

The characters are made up of polygons in Cel Shading and animated in a fluid way.

(Page 56)

THREE CHEERFUL GUYS OUT OF THEIR MINDS

JET SET RADIO FUTURE SOUNDTRACK

The Jet Set Radio Future soundtrack includes a tracklist created by artists from the American hip hop scene. The Latch Brothers, a group formed by three nice composers (Mike D, Tick and Wag), wrote and composed five tracks of the soundtrack of the title Smilebit. The chosen style varies from rock to hip hop, passing through electronic music that gives the title a greater futuristic atmosphere. In addition, the Latch Brothers have remixed the songs from the prequel (which we recall were played by the likes of Bran Van 3000, The Prunes and BS 2000), resulting in an almost unprecedented musical accompaniment. To top it all off, there are some "extended versions" by other musicians on the defunct Grand Royal label: Bis, Cibo Matto, Scapegoat Wax and Russel Simins. WaveMaster's Hideki has also left his mark on the Xbox version of JSR: by him the opening track "The Concept Of Love". A track that has already entered the Evolution charts ...

The Latch Brothers discuss with Smilebit the possibility of composing some tracks of the Jet Set Radio Future soundtrack.

After an elaborate discussion, the proposal is accepted! In exchange for three copies of the game, the Latch Brothers will produce five unreleased tracks and the remix of those from the last edition. Of course, the final compensation was quite different....

(Page 57)

On the longevity side, Jet Set Radio has some ups and downs: although finishing the game the first time will not engage you for more than 10-15 hours in total, the Sega title is not the classic product that, once completed, you abandon altogether. In addition to the aforementioned characters to unlock, we will have the opportunity to "learn" new graffiti as well as to create new and customized ones. In this way, we will be able to unleash our artistic talent and daub virtual walls with only the limit of our creativity. In addition, multiplayer ensures (if you have friends to play with) a good number of additional hours of gameplay. There are five modes available, supporting up to four players: City Rush, a real speed race; Tagger's Tag, in which the goal is to "tag" your opponent first with spray paint; Graffiti Wars, the "graffiti war," in fact, where the winner will be the player who manages to cover as many walls as possible with their graffiti (you can even draw over each other's graffiti), Flag, a nice variation of the "capture the flag" seen in titles with pronounced shoot-em-up ambitions, and, finally, Ball Hog, a race through the chosen level in the company of a ball that we won't have to let get out of our hands.

The latter mode is even more fun when played "cooperatively" together with a partner to whom you can pass the sphere!

Looking for flaws in a title like Jet Set Radio Future leads one to first analyze the framing system: often, in fact, the virtual camera, in the grip of the speed at which your "skater" travels, tends to lose sight of the centrality of the scene. Other times you will have to move on very narrow surfaces, and, at times, the too-close view will be the cause of easy and deleterious falls. Although in the long run this slight flaw can be frustrating, it will be possible, at any point in the game, to bring the virtual camera view back perfectly behind our backs by simply squeezing the left trigger of the pad (somewhat as happens in Capcom's Maximo). It is actually likely that you will still make it through all the levels without too much trouble.

The difficulty, on the other hand, could and should have been calibrated in a more thoughtful way: overall, Jet Set Radio Future is quite simple to complete and, in some points, it is boring having to repeat the same situation too many times; just think of the fight with the boss of the last level: to get to the platform where he awaits you and to be able to face him, we could take more time than the actual fight requires. Also, the streamlined nature of the graffiti certainly doesn't add to the hostility of the missions. In any case, these are minor flaws, which in no way affect Jet Set Radio Future as a must for anyone with an Xbox and looking for a fast-paced and fun game, but also exceptional to watch and... to listen to! And if you loved the prequel on Dreamcast, you really can't miss it: JSRF is worth at least double its parent! - Ornella Lepre 

“... the Sega title is not the classic product that, once completed, is completely abandoned.”

This is the amazing screen warping effect you will witness when you activate the turbo charge

The dialogues are all subtitled in Italian and help to better understand the story.

CONTROL BOX - XBOX

PLUS:

- Breathtaking graphics that are smooth and full of classy touches - Original and funny - Excellent Pal conversion - Numerous multiplayer modes

MINUS:

- Framing system not always perfect - Simplified graffiti system - Long-lived but not infinite

GRAPHICS - 9

PLAYABILITY - 9

LONGEVITY - 7

SOUND - 8

GLOBAL - 8

An original title, fun to play, beautiful to look at and full of touches of class. A must for new Xbox owners

[respectthepetty]

ALERT ALERT!!! TAIWAN REQUEST ASK INCOMING!!!

Please can you recommend to me your top 5 Taiwan BLs? I saw you posting about a few and wanted to know when you would recommend please?! is it always enemies to lovers?

Thank you in advance colour genius!

WHY ARE THESE ASKS ONLY GETTING HARDER?! First, y'all wanted my Top GMMTV actors, then it was Top GMMTV pairs, and now you are coming for my heart and soul with my

Top Five Taiwanese BLs!

That's like making me decide who is my favorite Backstreet Boy (it's Kevin) or telling me to choose my favorite child. I don't have kids, but I feel this is very similar. I love all of them equally for different reasons. Taiwanese BLs are my favorites because they have the best parents, high heat, some (but not all) enemies-to-lovers, and serve domestic bliss, so forcing me to pick between them is painful.

But I'll do it!

However, I'm gonna finesse my way into having more than five, yet still only technically giving you five.

The Ones That Couldn't Be Considered:

First, I will not count HIStory 4: Close to You in this list because it is my favorite BL. Period. It is not fair to these other BLs that they can't be a strategic hot ass mess with the gusto that my beloved HIS 4 had.

Next, Oh No! Here Comes Trouble isn't a BL, so I can't count it, but it was queer to me. I watched it for Your Name Engraved Herein's Tseng Ching-hua, but when Guang Yan said "This comic is not only about my high school life, but also about my heart," their love became canon for me, and I knew I wasn't moving past this show. When I write my book If You Just Don't Wanna Admit It's Queer, That's On You, the masses will see exactly what was there all along.

I can't include Red Balloon because, quite simply, I don't remember it well enough since I watched it when it was released in 2017, but I still feel it in my heart, you know? Edward Chen, the opposite lead in Your Name Engraved Herein, and Jason Tauh of HIStory 5: Love in the Future were the younger leads, so if Gagaoolala brings it back, I'll watch it again to see how they have both evolved.

I can't put my finger on why I won't include DNA Says I Love You, but I think it's because I don't classify it as a BL, yet I don't know why I don't classify it as a BL because it is a BL. It is! But . . . I don't know bruv. Either way, it's slow but good!

See You After Quarantine?'s entire runtime is a little over an hour. That's one episode of a Thai BL! It's cute, quick, and creative, but I cannot use up a spot on an eighty-minute series even though it was good. I'm sorry boys, I'll see you after my Hot Tops!

The Ones That Made the List:

#5 - About Youth

I hate singing, but the songs (and singing) in this series were GOOD, so much so that I still listen to the theme song. The characters (except Ye Guang's shitty parents) were also good, but Ray was my favorite. It was just serious enough to not seem trivial but was still light and enjoyable, and Xu Qi Zhang's mom and pink Converse deserve some appreciation.

#4 - Be Loved in House: I Do

That argument in the street that spilled over into the office the next day is one of my top five fights! In case you haven't watched it, Real got upset because he believed everyone was hiding a relationship from him, so Shi Lei called him out on his hypocrisy since they were basically in a relationship yet hiding it. Real misunderstood, but that made Shi Lei more upset which lead to him screaming at Real in the office asking if he even thought about them as a couple. Then Shi Lei's mother and that coming out scene! AND THE FLOOR SCENE! So many amazing scenes. So little space.

#3 - We Best Love

Although I prefer No. 1 For You, it goes hand-in-hand with Fighting Mr. 2nd, so I'm counting them as one for this list. The second part gave us the office slap heard around the world, and that superb drunken confession, but the first portion really delivered a cohesive story about pseudo enemies-to-lovers that had satisfying pacing and great side characters. The show also had color coding, so if it weren't for the promise of a third season that has yet to be delivered, that time jump and the reasoning for the separation, it would have been No. 1 For Me.

#2 - My Tooth, Your Love

As soon as Jin Xun An said he knew a good therapist, it was over for these other BLs. Jin Xun An is such an adult and does not have time for tomfoolery, which pushed Bai Lang to grow. A majority of BLs openly express that one of the leads is a mess from trauma, yet gives the message that the other person should and will love them regardless. Not this BL! Jin Xun An said he would love Bai Lang through it, but he didn't allow Bai Lang to treat him like poo or make excuses for his behavior while kindly pushing Bai Lang to treat himself as seriously and as gently as Jin Xun An did. Oh, and the side couple was intriguing as well.

#1 - HIStory 3: Trapped & HIStory ?: Freed

You notice how all the other couples on this list are right next to each other, probably holding each other likely in bed? NOT THESE TWO! Mis tóxicos fell in love in the woods while handcuffed to each other after running away from their kidnappers while Kinn was still dating Tawan and Porsche was sexing up customers behind the bar (KinnPorsche). Mis tóxicos were not trusting each other, yet willing to fuck while Dr. Bun was still in the big city and Tan wasn't even on his radar (Manner of Death). I'm not making a comparison; I'm making a statement that this show changed me and what I now crave from other shows. If a man isn't willing to kill for his guy AND possibly kill his guy too, then is it really love? I have demanded for FOUR YEARS that my boy Tang Yi be released, and one of these days, Taiwan will deliver us what we all deserve -

HIStory 15: Freed WHEN?

[incorrectbrawlstarsquotes]

Do you have any favorite ships?

Yessss been waiting for a question like this one!!

I honestly have a lot of bs ships I love, but for the sake of keeping this post brief I’m gonna limit myself to the 4 that currently take up the most space in my head (that are, of course, very subject to change)

Shelly x Colt

Duh. They’re basically the vanilla icecream of Brawl Stars ships and like, my go-to brawlers for lovebird quotes.

Though that certainly doesn’t mean it’s a boring dynamic. I could think of half a dozen interesting places their relationship could go and reasons why their dynamic could be real complex (not promising anything, but an idea i have for a longfic that may or may not be written does include a lot of Sholt in its outline).

Still, these two definitely take up a good chunk of all the quotes, and I bet if you count them all up Shelly and Colt would be the two most common characters I use. Doesn’t mean I’ll use them a lot less or I’ll stop taking Shelly/Colt quotes, but it’s definitely a trend I’ll want to keep track of to give other brawlers the chance to shine.

Bull x El Primo

Been my favorite crack ship for the longest time and genuinely I could not tell you why.

(Edit: Scratch that, they’ve actually been in quite a bit of official art and animations together. Technically, by BS lore standards Bullprimo is about as much of a crack ship as Sholt 🤔)

I’d assume it’s something to do with their equally excessive machismo vibes and how easy it is to interpret that as a doomed attempt to completely and utterly repress The Gay™.

Anyways, I have a post queued up using the “planning a hypothetical divorce” quote as a base and it stars these two. It’s honestly been one of my favorite from recent memory, so when it boils down to it I guess the main reason is that they’re just two really fun characters to play off each other. Macho men 4 life <3

Also, shoutout to that one Bullprimo fan account that follows me (you’re the goat!)

Rosa x Bea

My read at least is that this is the classic example of “Girl who only looks like she’ll just kill you, but in reality she’s also memorized every element of the periodic table” in love with “Girl who only looks like she’s memorized every element of the periodic table, but in reality she’ll also just kill you” In other words, what’s not to love? They even have an adopted robochild! A lot like:

Belle x Sam

Is it cheating according to tumblr ship culture if these two are already just a married couple? Hell if I care, this himbo and girlboss pairing has real quickly become one of my favorites in all of brawl stars since I came back. Plus, them being Colt’s freaking parents is the cherry on top that makes them super interesting lorewise and adds way more to their dynamic.

(also, another hint about that same longfic idea: these two would also probably play a huge role in it)