#tbis is so long i did not mean for it to get this long but i really do love this fucking album

[graveyardmouth]

no offense but all offense. how do you not like mania. i think i got too many memories getting in the way of me. even at the best of times im out of my mind. i testify if i die in my sleep then know that my life was just a killer dream. youre the last of a dying breed write our names in the wet concrete i wonder if your therapist knows everything about me. i am a collapsing star with tunnel vision but only for you. im done with having dreams the thing that i believe you drain all the fear from me. i wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you. i took too many hits off this memory i need to come down. we were lovers first confidants but never friends were we ever friends. the distance between us it sharpens me like a knife. i know its just a number but youre the eighth wonder. ill stop wearing black when they make a darker color. woke up on the wrong side of paradise. i hate all my friends i miss the days when i pretended with you. i became such a strange shape from trying to fit in. take the pain make it billboard big then swallow it for me. oh the things that you do in the name of what you love you are doomed but just enough. i am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom. if there were any more left of me id give it to you. i got dreams of my own but i want to make yours come true. youre the one habit i just cant kick. im back with a madness im a champion of the people who dont believe in champions. im just young enough to still believe but young enough not to know what to believe in. if i can live through this i can do anything. you say please dont ever change but you dont like me the way i am. the world tried to burn all the mercy out of me. dancing all alone in the morning light. i fell in love but i didnt fall down. feel like im bulletproof. you are my truest feeling yet i love you so much its just like oxygen. ive lived so much life i think that god is gonna have to kill me twice. i only wrote this down to make you press rewind. woke up on the wrong side of reality and theres a madness thats just coursing right through me. im just here for the fall. im living out of time eternal heatstroke. spiritual revolt from the waist down. im just a full tank away from freedom. these are the last blues we're ever gonna have. the glow of the cities below lead us back to the places that we never should have left. im yours till the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away. looking for pieces of broken hourglass trying to get it all back put it back together as if the time had never passed. i just want to let you break my brain.

[alllgator-blood]

I call this one "found family but it goes horribly wrong in an irreparable way" :)

I've been doing a lot of cotl comics but I kinda lost my comic making endurance after not working on art since last september, so I made this to help me flex my art muscles. Apologies for the watermarks lmao they kinda kill the mood but I've already had people repost my art when I put it on reddit so...might as well get the credit if my stuff is gonna be reposted regardless. RAMBLE INCOMING!!

Thinking about how shamura was most likely the one to find + raise their adopted siblings and help them survive the mass deicide that happened thousands of years before....OUUGH. I have so many ideas for comics that take place when half the bishops were still lil kids. I have one in progress right now actually. But it just hurts when I remember how it all ends- they loved their family for so long and yet they credit their love as what caused it to fall apart!!! The lore of the bishops only sunk in when I was dealing with my own heavy sibling angst, and I was like wow....shamura supported the sibs so much they accidentally encouraged their brother into being a heretic, and couldn't close pandora's box in time to save him or the rest of the family. They blame themself for the past 1,000 years and seem to be totally okay with dying for what they did?? Like when they get sent to the shadow realm they tell you to "finish the job" instead of leaving them in purgatory. And despite being the bishop of war, they are the only bishop to not have a "desperate" phase where their attacks get more brutal. They're not desperate, they just want to get it over with. All their other siblings are dead by then anyway so it's not like they have anything to stick around for, even if they were healthy enough to win the battle. Plus I mean...narinder is the bishop of death so they probably just want to see him one last time. Owch

Don't get me wrong I love to hate narinder and his only role in my cult is the guy who cleans the outhouse, but I really like his dynamic with shamura vs. the other siblings. I kinda see him as the troubled kid that couldn't assimilate into the family and shamura took it upon themself to try and fix him. It's interesting thinking about how they're the only one he shows remorse for despite feeling the most betrayed by them. I don't think he 100% hates them, he's just been locked in gay baby jail for so long he's had nothing better to think about than "my sibling encouraged me to experiment with my godly duties, and then punished me for it!!". He's not wrong? But also is shamura that wrong either??? Idk it's complicated with no real answer and I like it a lot, I wish the game told us more about what the bishops were like before they got their shit rocked during the schism. I would've loved to see shamura before their brain was turned to mush by their tbi + 1,000 years of suffocating grief and crushing guilt :)

ANYWAY thanks for making it to the bottom of this rant, here is a sketch I did a while ago of shamura + baby leshy from a prequel au thing I don't have a name for yet:

[yeyinde]

Question about Straw House, Straw Dog Johnny! OK so he obviously has some brain trauma due to taking a bullet to the head and all, and we can see him shifting between thoughts and emotions in a way one can describe as volatile, but I've been dying to know... Does Johnny have moments of clarity, moments where who he was before being shot break through? If so, how lucid is he? Is he able to take stock of his surroundings, does he know he's got a captive in his bed? Does he wonder about his team mates, until his mind splinters and he returns to being a shell of a man in the woods?

sorry this took me so long to answer!! it got super long so i had to find ways to cut it down, but since i couldn't write this in Johnny's pov, i rambled. a lot.

but—to answer your question: yes and no lmao

i don't think he's fully gone. definitely delusional, grasping at nothing, and struggling to adjust to this civilian world where no one needs him. not even his teammates.

but he's cognisant, and in many ways, he's still Johnny. still Soap. but he is a victim of circumstances. he has untreated TBI (which outside of physical recovery does need therapy as well, especially to offset the emotional trauma that underlines it all), and he decided to pick one of the loneliest places in Canada to hide out in. maybe not the loneliest, but there's definitely a sense of disconnect when you move outside of the big cluster of cities near the border to the US, and nowhere else captures that primordial, almost cosmic sense of crushing aloneness quite like NWT (for me, at least lmao)

it's the social isolation, the feeling of worthlessness (because i do see him as someone who'd never retire from this, ever), and the loss of agency and familiarity that really send him spiralling. he's grasping at straws and sinking deeper into his terrible mental state. listless, in a way. and very, very angry. everything was ripped away from him in seconds and now he's stuck inside a cabin with nothing but his thoughts for company. and while we don't really know how he came to be squirreled away in NWT (specifically a patch of unorganised land outside of Wrigley), we know that it was not choice.

he still thinks of his teammates, remembers (vividly) everything that happened, but had no choice but to leave. there's a lot of resentment, though. he feels robbed. broken. useless. feels like he should be there with them when they hunt down Makarov, rather than sidelined like he has been. it festers. builds.

but then you come along.

a task, a mission. someone he can save. and even if he were fully cognisant, woke up perfectly fine one day, he'd still find ways to rationalise it. he does not, nor will he ever, see you as a captive. he did you a favour. he saved you. by any means necessary. even if those means are morally reprehensible and outright illegal. Soap is patting himself on the back for doing what needed to be done, and nothing anyone says will change his mind.

and if he was ever caught, he'll pretend to feel some sense of remorse for his actions. let people lead the discussion of how tragic what happened is and how truly sorry he is for the pain caused, but the entire time, he's plotting on how to get his family back. you're his. he found you. he'll never feel guilt over what he sees as a good deed. but i think he can be convinced to feel remorse over sneaking into your bed.

[shalpilot]

do you ever think about how killer is 4 years older than kid. as adults that's not a huge age gap but growing up killer was larger, older, and probably had to take of himself and kid. how long do you think he has designated himself as kid's protector? what sacrifices might he have made for kid when they were growing up? when kid was 9 and killer was 13. when kid was 13 and killer 17. did he ever really shed the feeling of responsibility for kid's safety after kid grew up and became his captain? does he ever regret after wano following him? of course he loves him, but some fates might be worse than death. killer would follow kid into hell but how long can he keep charging after kid into unwinnable battles? how many sacrifices will he have to make? after wano does kid ever hear killer's laugh without feeling like he wants to throw up? does ever he think killer would have been better off loving someone else?

i hate them i hate them so much

I think about it the most when I draw them as kids and realize I have no idea what the hell a “child development” is /j

As someone who’s been the youngest in my friend groups for…ever… I’ve never been on the other side of that kind of dynamic but I can imagine that somewhere along the line Killer sat down and was like ohhhh my god. Oh my god he doesn’t need me to protect him anymore and just had a little moment of … do I feel happy? do I feel proud? I think he’d quickly realize that Kid does still need him even if it’s not to keep him from getting his head caved in. I can also imagine they might’ve had a few nasty fights about Kid being Killer’s captain now and things ARE different and you HAVE to listen to me I’m the CAPTAIN it doesn’t MATTER what you think

They make up tho… clearly

NOW. FOLLOWING KID INTO UNWINNABLE BATTLES. AUUUGGHHHAARGHH. This is me speaking as Shal Kid stresses me out SO much can he sit down for five minutes maybe. He doesn’t have to fight EVERY yonko actually he already got the one can he pl. please. so I would think Killer feels this x100 but at the same time he *also* likes running into battles but would greatly prefer. If Kid would give a little warning beforehand. Like Killer’s still gonna do it he will follow him anywhere but the years that have been shaved off his life by his fucking idiot partner can not be insubstantial.

Sacrifices… Killer and WCI Sanji would get along wouldnt they /j Killer is shown time and time again to be willing to give up EVERYTHING for Kid unquestionably and it makes me SICK. He’s Kid’s partner, yes, but he sees himself as expendable if it means Kid gets to keep on living. And Kid doesn’t even know!!!!! Does Killer think Kid would want this??? Does he really believe Kid would want his partner giving up his life for his sake?? what if I screamed what if I yelled so loud

When I think about how Kid sees Killer after Wano I go into a deep dark hole and I cry a little bit. I feel like Kid could read Killer’s emotions perfectly even under the mask but now that non-verbal communication has been shattered. And even when talking it’s impossible to tell how Killer really feels about something and that must really put a fucking strain on communication 😃👍👍 I have a lot of thoughts on some parts of tbis but they’re like. Kinda heavy and I haven’t thought of how to verbalize them quite yet?? but boiling it down… Kid pulling away because he doesn’t want to overstep while Killer’s suffering and Killer wanting to beg Kid to stay by his side but he can’t !! :)))))))) YEOWCH!!

They are perfect for each other and they deserve each other and I wish they had an easier life.

[vivaislenska]

Tech DOES NOT Mess Around with Cybersecurity [excerpt from a longer, TBB mission fic]

Republic specialists at Cyber Ops Squad try to spy on the Boys of the Havoc Marauder. They get their asses handed to them (in a sparkly gift bag).

Basis: A snippet from Chap. 15 of long-form TBB fic called ‘Success Rate’ that can be found here. These two regs just helped Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker rescue Tech and Echo from a brutal ordeal in captivity. How'd these mysterious regs meet Tech before all of it went down? Hunter and Crosshair find out… and sympathize.

Length: 3,100 words

CW: swearing and mentions of adult themes

An hour or so goes by, and Hunter and Crosshair are still up in Serpent Squad's shop, swapping stories with Easy and Slowpoke. By now, several more of Easy's guys have wandered over to meet the two Bad Batch commandos and revisit some of the epic tales that are being told. There are still a few guys at their various watch stations, but the ones who’ve been relieved seem to be forgoing their racks and personal time to join in on the fun.

"So lemme get this straight," Hunter says to his and Crosshair's new mates: the OIC and AOIC of a highly secretive, highly reserved, gang of radar operators and crypto specialists. "You two were both ARC Troopers when you deployed to Geonosis, but you got hurt and now you're both cryptos. And you met Tech... when you were doing deep dives into encrypted networks?"

"I know it sounds mental," Easy affirms. "But it's the damn truth. Cadet's honor."

"Well,” Hunter says, first and foremost, “I’m sorry you boys got hurt.”

"Thanks, vod. Yeah, we were sorry too when they yanked our ARC designations," Easy says. "Not sorry right away, though. What happened was me and Slopes were caught in a bad blast during the final push. But it was all the typical injuries you know? We still finished the job and all."

"It was only later we learned we'd both sustained some pretty serious TBIs," Slowpoke adds. "When we tried to go back to duty after everything on the outside had healed, we were having a lot of trouble."

"Still do," Easy continues. "Slopes has these violent seizures now and then. It's really hard on him. And me, I get some nasty vertigo pretty often. Can't tell which way's up or down... it's madness! Also—not that my mind was a durasteel trap before—but my short-term memory’s just garbage now."

"The first time vertigo happened to him, we were in formation," shares Slowpoke as he takes a careful sip from his beer. "All of a sudden, he keels over and starts hugging the deck like the ship was going belly-up. Our CO was furious because he thought Easy was takin' the piss. I mean... we all did. But when he looked up at me, green as Endor moss, I knew something was horribly wrong."

"Yup. Then, not long after, Slopes kept getting 'the shakes' more often, and it became clear that both of us were still affected by whatever that blast did to our brains,” Easy adds, amiably. “Our CO transferred us to medical for eval and treatment, but the long-necks never could cure us. They put us on meds, and the meds do help, but we'll always have symptoms. They wanted to decommission us."

"How'd you dodge it?" asks Crosshair.

"Yeah," Hunter says, also craving to know how a medical decision made by one or more Kaminoans was thwarted. "The long-necks are heartless and stubborn when they deem a vod can't perform as promised."

"Kenobi," Easy says simply. "He heard we were being decommed, then he made other plans for us before the Kaminoans followed through."

"He said he 'negotiated' our 'lateral transfer,'" Slowpoke adds. "But really, we think he pulled us out of there and somehow hid us in Skywalker's inventory. We think he assigned us to crypto because there's not a whole lot of people who even have the clearance to look at our muster sheet."

"That and crypto at a top-tier command is probably the last place the Kaminoans would expect two infirm, unsound, adrenaline-addicted ex-ARCs to wind up," says Easy, grinning around the growing circle of brothers. "But here we are!"

"Here we are," Slowpoke agrees.

"And it’s a pretty good gig too, eh, fellas?" Easy says, turning his head to include everyone within earshot.

There's an excited murmur of assent from around the room.

"We do miss working directly for Kenobi, though," says Easy, sounding a little forlorn. "But he kept us close enough by stashing us with Skywalker's crew. We still see him every now and then. Plus, they're so close that if you're working with one, you're pretty much directly working with the other too."

"I can see that," Hunter tells the group, thinking about all the times he's seen the two men joined at the hip both in battle and in banter.

"Works for us," says Slowpoke. "Plus, we figure the best way to show Kenobi our gratitude is to look after Skywalker."

"Yeah. Just not in the same way we used to on the ground," says Easy. "But with crypto and espionage and slicing instead. Digging up intel and cyber-sneaking around enemy databases and frequencies."

"You're good at what you do," Hunter reminds them, thinking about how instrumental Serpent squad was in helping the Batch retrieve Tech and Echo. "Can't see how anyone could stay off your radar. Or how they could keep intel hidden from you if it's something you guys really want."

Easy and Slowpoke share a wry grin and a few mutters and sniggers break out around the room. Vexed by Serpent squad's communal reaction, Hunter and Crosshair glance around curiously, feeling very much on the outside of an inside joke.

"We're not laughing at you," Easy tells them sincerely. "Promise. We're laughing because it's so damn ironic you would say that."

"Oh... yeah?" Hunter says, still unsure. "Why's that?"

"Bet I know why," drawls Crosshair, revelation dawning on his sharp features.

"Why then?" Hunter asks him.

"They tried their little tricks on Tech," mutters Crosshair pensively. Then turning to Easy and Slowpoke. "Didn't you? And he knew it."

"At the heart of it," Slowpoke says, "that's exactly why.

"We weren't 'trying our tricks' on Tech, specifically," Easy clarifies. "We were doing a routine breaching exercise and Havoc Marauder was just one of the ships on our scopes. We didn't know anything about her but her name and designation, so we wanted to give it a go. Plus, Slopes and I were still relatively new here at the time, and our brass was adamant that we prove our worth."

"Yeah, we were new, but we'd already done a hundred tests on a hundred different ships,” says Slowpoke.

”And we'd cracked all of them without breaking a sweat. So there we were, dumb and cocky enough to think that spying on Havoc Marauder would be like spying on all the others," Easy adds frankly. "We soon learned the hard way that we were wrong."

"Oh man," Hunter says, feeling like he finally knows where this story's headed. "Wha'd he do when he detected you guys?"

"He identified himself as Marauder to confirm your vessel. And then he warned us fair and square," Easy says. "Said he'd recognized our efforts to slice into Marauder's mainframe and that they'd just be futile. Told us to turn back, or he'd be compelled to retaliate."

"And, what?" Crosshair asks. "You thought the arrogant nerd was bluffing?"

"Of course, we thought he was bluffing," Slowpoke tells him.

"Yeah, by then, we'd looked on the GAR universal database and saw who you guys were, and we figured the one called 'Tech' was on the comms,” Easy adds. “We thought you guys were too specialized to bother with crypto know-how, and we thought our advanced training and equipment platforms would give us the upper hand in this challenge. So we went right ahead with it, trying to show Marauder who was boss."

"He warned us one more time before he counterattacked. And then..." adds Slowpoke. "And then he made us learn just who the kriff we were dealing with."

"How?" drawls Crosshair.

"Then all of our display screens went dark for a few seconds," Easy says. "And when they recovered, a little feature film was playing for our enjoyment. On all of them."

"Oh no..." Hunter says, only daring to imagine what Tech had in store for them at that moment.

"An adult feature film," Slowpoke supplies.

"No way!" Hunter says, hooting in unison with Crosshair.

"And I know what you're thinking," Easy says, cracking up at the memory. "You're thinking, 'oh yeah, like you've never had one of those tacky vids passed around the barracks,' right? Well, it wasn't just any smut film, fellas. It was all Hutts."

The collective groan that sounds out through the rollicking atmosphere of the room only makes everyone laugh even harder.

"But-but! Not just Hutts!" Easy chokes, fighting back tears of mirth. "They were fucking ancient, elderly, old Hutts."

"Probably the sickest shit I've ever beheld," says Slowpoke, collecting himself just enough to put some sincerity behind the remark.

"And that's saying something!" comments one of the boys Hunter hasn't met yet, and Slowpoke looks on, playfully peeved and casually brandishing his middle finger.

"How long did he let it go on?" asks Hunter, almost afraid to find out.

"A good hour," Easy tells him. "And by then, we were on our humble knees, begging him to relinquish control before any of the brass caught on, or we'd all be sent up! And he did, just in the knick of time. So, that's the story of how we met Tech.”

"And," Slowpoke adds, "we've been friends ever since."

"Friends?" Crosshair grumbles. "You all then just decided you wanted some dangerous slicing maniac as your friend?"

"Yeah, why not?" Easy says. "He was perfectly civil about warning us, and we were the ones who bit off more than we could chew. I would have done the same thing he did if someone was trying to mess with my guys' info, and I had to teach them a lesson they'd never forget."

"True," Crosshair agrees. "He was protecting us. Sounds like it did the trick."

"Sure did," says Slowpoke. "But we couldn't help but like him.”

”Yeah so we stayed in touch. We see him logged in as "Marauder" at some of the virtual Crypto conferences that we attend for training,” says Easy. “We always say hey, and he does too. But, collectively, we never messed with Marauder again after that."

"Collectively," Slowpoke reiterates. "Doesn't mean we're above having some of the shinies give it a go on their own when they're getting too big for their britches."

"Yeah, whenever we get students or rookies who come through thinking they're real hot shit," Easy says. "We send them right to Tech. We have them do a test in which they target Marauder, and Tech takes care of them for us. You know, knocks them down a peg or two."

"How does Tech only target one guy at a time if they're working out of your shop?" Hunter asks.

"Well, we can't tell you how he does it because we have no karking idea," says Easy.

"None whatsoever," Slowpoke adds.

"But, we can gladly tell you what he does. It's different every time, but he'll usually send out a mass message from their personal account with something ridiculous typed in the body of it. We've actually got them all saved somewhere..."

Easy then swivels around in his chair to address the gathered members of Serpent squad.

"Oi, Serpent," he says to them. "Whose got that list of messages that were sent whenever we've had shinies try to spy on Marauder?

"Got it right here, boss," says a clone from Easy's squad, tapping and scrolling on the datapad at his console.

"Yes, Timbre, well done!" Easy then swivels back to Hunter and Crosshair. "Hunter, Crosshair, meet Timbre. He's gonna do a dramatic reading of some of the good ones. Aren't you, vod?"

"Can do Sarge," the reg says readily, clearing his throat. "Let's see... oh here's a good one. This one was from a rookie whose unit was here for training before they went on to check in aboard Tranquility."

To everyone's delight, the reg called Timbre stands up out of his seat to make sure everyone can hear, then takes on a serious tone of voice to read out the messages.

"Good morning, brothers. Sorry to bother, but does anyone have a spare set of sheets I could borrow for my rack? I pissed in mine again last night and they're absolutely ruined. Thanks in advance."  

"Damn, Tech," Hunter hears Crosshair whisper fondly as the room erupts into more laughter.

"That one got sent to our whole battalion and the battalion he was due to check in with a few days later," Slowpoke adds happily.

"That one's one of my favorites," Easy says admiringly. "Timbre, give us another."

"Sure thing, boss," says Timbre.

Hunter finds himself wondering if Timbre is Serpent squad's designated orator when it comes to recitation of the absolutely absurd.

"Any requests?" asks the reg before sharing another.

"Do the aftershave one!" shouts somebody on watch at a comms console.

"You got it," Timbre says readily, as he repeats the same process but with a slightly different voice this time so that the audience knows a different rookie is now speaking.

"Hey Fellas!!!! Does anyone know what that alluring aftershave is that Commander Cody uses? I just passed him in the p-way and it made my mouth water. Can't get it off my mind and thinking of trying it out for myself. Cheers!"  

"Hells! Tell me Cody didn't see that one," says Hunter, eyes going wide but with a guilty grin.

"He did," Slowpoke reports mildly. "From some ass-licker down in Air Frames who was trying to make chief at the time. And the Commander was fuming.”

"Ahhh, he sure was!" Easy agrees wistfully. "We actually caught flak for that one too, because it's literally our job to stop external tampering of any kind. And I just had tuck tail and say 'sir, look, if we knew how this guy was doing it, we'd put an end to it.' But, as you guess, that didn't really cut it for ole Code-y."

"'This guy',"  Crosshair repeats curiously. "You didn't rat on Tech?"

"'Course not, Crosshair, you sullen prick!" says Easy, playfully cuffing the sniper on the chest. "Kriff, you're pessimistic! We were the ones who set that loud-mouth, blowhard shiny into Tech's lair to begin with. And it's well-known Bad Batch gets far less free time than most."

"Yeah," Slowpoke agrees. "He's doing us a huge favor every time he gives arrogant new guys like that a good lick because it's arrogance that could cost our operations everything. Plus we bounce ideas off him all the time. We kinda lean on him here and there."

"Also, it was a nice reality check for those of us who were thinking we'd take another swing at Marauder's database," Easy admits. "Some of us thought we could find a way past Tech's defenses. But the truth was, we'd just forgotten that if we tried to mess with the wampa, we were gonna wake up, swinging by our ankles, in his cave."

"He did feel bad though when we told him Cody had us on scullery duty for a week after the incident," says Slowpoke. "After that, he stopped including anyone else in the narratives by name."

"Let's hear another message, Sarge," someone requests.

"Alright one more," Easy allows after consulting with and sharing a knowing look with his number two. "But just the one or we could be doin' this all night. Pick another good one for our honored guests, lads."

"The one about the butterfly!" shouts a Serpent reg, to an outpour of general agreement.

"No, do the one about the dance recital!" cries another to a similar level of assent.

"Both are fantastic, but let's have the butterfly," says Easy, swiftly and expertly breaking the tie. "Go for it, Timbre."

"Butterfly it is," says Timbre, preparing for one last little speech.

Hey comrades! I'm looking for a tattoo artist onboard... anyone have any good recs? Preferably someone good with colors because I'd like a maridun butterly on my lower back. And also, someone with a tender touch. I've extra sensitive skin and I cried a lot last time because it really, really hurt. Best regards.  

"Oh shit!" Easy exclaims. "He straight castrated that bloke!"

"He kriffing deserved it, if my memory serves," reasons Slowpoke, casually sipping his drink. "And it does."

...

Hunter and Crosshair laugh heartily together as Easy moves to finally break up the fun. The reg sergeant sends those on watch back to their stations, while Slowpoke sends those who aren't down to their barracks to get some rest. After the shop returns to a general state of order, the four clones sit together peacefully once again.

"And thus concludes the adventure of how we met your Tech long before the mishap with the Bounty Hunters," Easy declares as he pours another round for each of them.

"Well, the story officially did not disappoint," Hunter says, clinking his glass on Slowpoke's. "And to be honest, it's probably the least controversial thing Tech's accomplished with his… skills."

"Where does he even come up with that stuff? I mean, he really doesn't mess around," says Easy, still laughing. "And worse, he looks a bit funny ya know? Like someone you could mess with at the cantina. But he's a kriffing savage, he is."

"He is on another level," Hunter agrees fondly.

"He's on his own level," Slowpoke says in a sudden moment of mindfulness. "Bet it gets lonely."

"It did," Crosshair tells the reg flatly. "But that was before Echo. Now, Tech has a partner when it comes to perpetrating cyber crimes."

"That's trouble," says Easy, sounding blissfully intrigued. "Oh right, Echo! I keep forgetting that Echo's got a whole new skillset these days. Hey, do you think Echo would know how to get past Tech's security and then help us finally retaliate? Maybe he'd sympathize as one former ARC to another."

"Fuck no," says Crosshair with a dry bark of cruel laughter. "Fuck. No. And he's still an ARC."

By now, Easy and Slowpoke both understand Crosshair's aversion to sugarcoating anything. But Hunter senses that they're still startled at the rigidly abrupt change in the sharpshooter's tone. As his brother and batchmate, Hunter knows Crosshair meant nothing more than emphasis by it, so he readily smooths over any ambiguity felt by the regs.

"What my charming scout sniper means," Hunter says with a laugh and a relaxed smile. "Is sorry, that's not happening, fellas. Our ARC’s all business. He doesn’t trouble himself with devious pranks and scruples when there's work to be done.”

"Well, that and he'd never tell you," Crosshair mutters, taking a sip from his beer. "Those two have been inseparable since within hours of knowing each other. It's revolting."

"That’s true," Hunter adds. "They kinda just meshed from the start. I don't think you could even drive a lightsaber between them at this point."

"Fuck," says Easy, cautiously admiring them. "Well, cheers to them being on our side, eh boys?"

"Cheers," Hunter says in unison with Crosshair and Slowpoke as they bang their glasses together and take a long draught.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope it made you smile! Reblogs, critiques, corrections, comments, and new ideas are welcome. Have a great day : ]

Easy and Slowpoke ("Slopes") are two OCs that roll over from another fic hehe! Easy is sort of a cross between Hunter and Wrecker and Slopes is almost a cross between Crosshair and Tech, and I've grown rather fond of these two helpful boys.

@amorfista @anxiouspineapple99 @wolffegirlsunite @freesia-writes @523rdrebel @sinfulsalutations @destril @zaana @queenjiru @oceanamber24 @raevulsix @enigmatist17

[abarbaricyalp]

Written for the @sambuckylibrary TFATWS Anniversary Event

3.3k words // CW: sports injury and discussion of recovery // AO3

(i mean baby) Do You Know The Game

The energy of a hard fought win was still thrumming in Bucky's veins as he collapsed into the press junket chair. His whole body hurt and he was irritated that it was a close game in the first place. They hadn't started strong and had only barely managed to claw their way back with a solid closer and a lucky series of errors to load up the bases before Steve got up to bat in the ninth.

This was going to be one of those days that the PR team regretted putting him in front of cameras. It was always a toss-up. He was either the most charming player the press could talk to or a walking storm cloud, complete with hail, lightning, and thunder. He was feeling particularly thunderous today.

Luckily, there was Barton to run interference. He was the kind of player the press loved because he could talk stats and numbers all day long. He was funny and a better actor than Bucky and he'd take the win at face value. No moping about a poor early performance.

Bucky half listened to Barton rattle off where Wilson's ERA was going to land after this game and how Steve's RBI numbers meant more than his base running and what kind of trades Fury would be looking for in the postseason. Bucky mumbled answers back about refocusing after the sixth and the momentum of a good inning and all the bullshit the papers always wanted to hear. And then...

"Is the feud between you and Wilson resolved?" a reporter for a magazine that was more lifestyle than sports asked.

Bucky's eyes narrowed warily. The feud everyone was so obsessed with was about as real as the conviction behind his answers this afternoon. Sure, it had been real at one point.  All the gossip rags were right: Sam was the hot new upshot. He'd joined the team while Bucky was out on medical suspension with the TBI and shattered shoulder. Bucky didn't get to play his first two seasons, only saw him at practice and team events. Sam was everything Bucky had been–fun and smart and confident and good. God, he was a good player. Knew the game like his own face. And that was all exactly the kind of thing Bucky didn't want to see in his replacement.

He wasn't sure how it got out to the press that there was some friction. He tried not to talk about anyone else in interviews but surely he'd been asked one too many times about the new guy and snapped out a mean answer once or twice. To be fair, Sam gave as good as he got. There was one interview where he said something to the effect of 'I won't talk about an injured teammate negatively, but ask me again later and I'll tell you he's probably past his prime.'

Which, thinking back on it, that sentence was probably what led to the beginning of the end of the feud, since it directly led to a really fantastic champagne-drunken night in a fancy hotel after the team formal that year. 

And once their relationship was on steadier ground and Bucky was in a better place mentally and physically and Sam was settled in with the team and the spotlight, it was fun to play with the rumors when he had the energy. Neither he nor Sam wanted to make the relationship public and they knew there was no real heat behind the occasional gentle ribbing in an interview. But Bucky didn't have any energy to spare right then. "All the good games he's had haven't ended it before. Why should this game change anything?"

"I wasn't referring to the game," she pressed. "Though you did seem to have a warm reaction when he got you guys out of the sixth. I was referring to the fact that you arrived today in his practice jersey."

Bucky looked down at his game jersey, as if it was the one he'd worn in for warmups. "I think you're mistaken," he said, even though there was a creeping dread that he probably had grabbed the wrong one while Sam was shoving him out of the door that morning. Bucky had done his laundry at Sam's and the jerseys all looked the same when he was in a rush.

The reporter turned her tablet around to show a very clear image of Bucky walking into the facility, head turned over his shoulder to show off his profile, with Sam's last name sprawled across his back just below his jaw. It was actually kind of an endearing photo. He liked how Sam's name looked on him.

"I guess it got confused with the team laundry after practice Monday," he said with a shrug. He could feel a traitorous blush climbing up his chest and neck and cheeks, all the way to his hairline. "I just grabbed the one nearest my bag. Don't you have something more interesting to write about?"

But judging by the way half the room's eyes were now lit up, he was assuming this was the most interesting thing to happen to them since the last season-ending injury they had to cover. 

"Does that happen often? Getting jerseys mixed up like that?"

Bucky glowered and crossed his arms in a pouty, telling-on-himself kind of way. "I was tired on Monday."

"Which does happen," Barton cut in. "Frankly, I think it's a little disappointing that you're making a scandalous story out of a TBI survivor's brain fog."

Now Bucky turned to glare at his teammate. He did not have brain fog. Usually. Bucky wasn't sure if Barton had become privy to his and Sam's relationship. All three of them were individually close and Barton was probably the most perceptive person in the room at any given time, but Bucky had never told him in so many words. And Barton was always up for messing with reporters. It could go either way. 

The reporter held up her hands with a placating smile. "Hoofbeats and horses-not-zebras," she suggested. "I just thought I'd ask."

The room chattered for a few seconds before someone else got them back on track with a question about the upcoming series and whether they thought their league standing would improve before their bye-week.

By the time Bucky got out of the junket, he felt like he needed ten aspirin. Three for his shoulder and seven for his head. Barton parted from him at the locker room door with a pat on his good shoulder and well wishes for the night. They got almost a full week break until the series started up next Friday and they said they didn't want to see each other until then.

Bucky waited for the door to shut behind Barton before he let himself into the locker room. He detoured to his locker, pulling off his game jersey as he went. He tossed it into his locker and dug out the practice jersey from the pile of sweaty clothes heaped in the bottom of it. Indeed, Sam's name greeted him. He ran his fingers over the screen printed letters and then brought the jersey up to his face to breathe in the remnants of the smell of Sam's detergent and apartment.

When the real thing surrounded him, along with arms around his waist and a strong body against his back, Bucky let the jersey fall away. He put his hands over Sam's forearm and leaned back into him.

"You could've mentioned I took the wrong one," he said.

He felt Sam shrug. "Too late now."

"You saw the interview?" Bucky surmised. As Sam shifted from his back, Bucky dropped his forehead against the locker in front of him. Sam sat on the bench beside him, shoulder resting against Bucky's hip.

"Don't worry about it, man. Shit happens. No one's gonna think twice about it. And if they do, Clint set you up a pretty solid excuse."

"No one is going to buy that." Mostly because it wasn't true. "And I'm not going to start some beef because you made me late."

"Oh, I made you late?" Sam asked with a teasing lilt to his voice. He shifted over in front of Bucky and dragged his eyes slowly down his body until they were level with Bucky's navel. His hands came up to Bucky's hips, strong and sure, tugged him forward just a little. "I remember you dragging me back into bed like this."

His nose brushed along Bucky's stomach and Bucky let himself enjoy it for a few seconds before he hooked a knuckle under Sam's jaw and lifted his face. "You kept me in the shower," he pointed out.

"You wash your hair wrong," Sam offered back with zero belief in his words. He rested his chin on Bucky’s belly and looked up at him with dark, glinting eyes. “Come on, lay down and let me rub out your shoulder so you can stop being so grumpy.”

“You could definitely rub something out, but I wouldn’t have picked my shoulder.”

Sam grinned and kissed just above Bucky’s belly button. “I bet I could. But we agreed: not in the locker room.”

“I remember the showers getting carved back out of that agreement.”

Sam pushed Bucky back from the lockers to the narrow bench that separated the two rows. “Lay down,” he ordered. “And relax.”

Continue on AO3

[colesabi]

i feel like i have to ask - Chris for the character thing? :3

Teehee… I got him twice lol.

How I feel about this character:

He is the gentlest, sweetest, most caring teddy bear that has ever existed and I absolutely adore him. Chris cares so much it hurts lol. I remember liking him when I was playing the games so long ago and then when I got back into the franchise (with the RE4 remake, I sort forgot he existed and was like full-force into Serennedy then so when I started to reacquaint myself with the rest of the media, I kind of slowly latched back onto him as a fav character and well, we all know how I feel about him now. I’m literally making a custom 1/6 scale figure. I’ve fallen deep lol.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Leon, obviously OTP but I’m down with Piers and even Wesker (although that is purely to feed my need for toxic yaoi lol). I’m also heavily involved in the Metaltangofield agenda and I will not apologize.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Jill of course!!! They are the best platonic combo. I also love his relationship with Claire and how there is just mutual respect and trust. Honestly, Chris would make the best best friend and he’s a fantastic big bro.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Ugh… honestly, I loved him in 6. I personally hated how he was perceived in that game and how the fandom just shit on him as a character. It pissed me off because he was clearly dealing with so much. He had a fucking TBI, of course he would be angry. He had memory loss, was only being told limited information and was basically thrown into a war zone completely unprepared. He was completely in the right to be angry and honestly, I wanted more lol.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Everyday I pray for two things: an Operation Javier remake and a re-haul of RE6 when it eventually get remade. They did so much with Luis’ character and gave him more nuance and depth in 4R, so when they get to 6, I want them to deal with Chris’ TBI and amnesia way better than they did in the OG. I mean it perfectly sets up angst potential, just lean into it but also handle it with care and realism please.

thanks for the ask!!

[engagemythrusters]

okay. ahsoka ep 3.

i already know jacen is in this bc i got SPOILED but let me tell you im gonna still be shocked anyway skldjflkd

k here we go

These introductions are pointless. Like we saw the last ep last week. If we forgot we can just look it up.

OH WOW she’s hot

“Not bad but not good” WOW HUYANG. Oh wow this guys comin for Sabines whole LIFE here damn

Um ig Ahsoka forgot that Mandalorians can hold their own against jedi just damn fine? Sabine once beat KANAN

Ahsoka: okay time to pretend to be Kanan

UH OKAY. UM. “I can’t see how am I supposed to fight” WAS A STUPID LINE TO GIVE TO SABINE WREN, THE WOMAN RAISED BY KANAN JARRUS, A NOTABLE BLIND JEDI

God can you imagine being stupid enough to give that line to her? Did filoni or Favreau write that line? Sounds on par with how idiotic those two dipshits are. Like that is so stupid. Who is that STUPID.

That’s like an anti-Kanan reference. That’s fucking Kanan retconning.

God I’m so MAD.

Honest to god I’m kinda glad this is only 30 mins long this time. I’m fucjing mad.

She fights like Sabine though. I love this actress for her. She’s doing Sabine so well. Thank you <3

Nyooooom

is mON MOT—SHE IS

Hooray chancellor mothma

JACEN!!!!!

I mean in name only so far but still. My lil snow pea boy

“Causing trouble with chopper” I’m so glad that droid is giving the galaxy hell with multiple generations of syndullas. Here’s to chopper outliving us all

HEY SHUT UP ABOUT HRR FINDING HER SON

She should be allowed to find her son the war hero at any costs

GET HIS ASS

“People who were like family to me” okay uh so that’s a workaround for saying Kanan? But Kanan wasn’t even killed by

JACEN

“Aunt” WHAT

She’s his SISTER

He looks a little like Kanan would have looked. AND NOTHING LIKE HERA (enter usual rant about PISS POOR CHARACTER DESIGN)

Also like. He wants to be a jedi 😭

LIKE HIS FATHER BEFORE HIM 😭

God that look. She’s thinking of Kanan 😭😭😭

“Everyone could be a jedi” is the STUPIDEST TAKE

God i hate this fucking show

And I fucking hate filoni and Favreau so. Fuckingn. Much.

Huyang does NOT like Sabine

And he’s right about jedi and force wielders

She’s so cute I love u Sabeeen <3

T-6 shuttle shot

I love u T-6 shuttles

Wow those are fuckin… old ass ships. Clone war era.

I mean T-6 is even older but I love it so. I do not care.

Also hang on rewind a sec to the “few mandalorians have ever been jedi” okay how do you KNOW that. The two of you have been at odds so much for so long that I’m sure millions went by unnoticed by the jedi

Downgraded from Spheres In Space to fucking Circle In Space 🙄

I love Huyang he’s a bitch

Oh T-6 shuttle they’re really in it now

Oop floaty in space

Huyang out for the count again xoxo

Shin Hati is such a little shit and I ADORE her

She space-suited up in 3 seconds or some shit. God I hate sci fi.

Get yourself ahsoka you’re the dumbass who chose to stand outside

Shin Hati 👁 👁 fr

Oh

My

God

P U R R G I L

Ezra are u there?! 😭😭😭😭

okay after the initial AAAA umm yeah I’m thoroughly disappointed

The purrgil looked so BEAUTIFUL in design and colour and pattern in Rebels… only to be Giant Grey Things in this show?

God I fucking HATE this show.

Anyway half this episode is literally just space fighting. That’s so stupid.

I do like tbis planet. It’s dull and drab like everything else this show has done BUT at least the aesthetic of this one is meant to be dark and drab and dull

Anyway can they go back and follow the fucking purrgil yet

Mr Inquisitor I kind of hope you’re someone cool we already know. That’s a cool trope that I want to see in canon. If not that’s okay I want a cool inquisitor anyway.

So they’re meant to pick up thrawns ship? Like the way Jedi ships used to—

The way DT says purrgil has shocked me to near silence

That’s so funny it’s great and hard in his voice

So yeah that was stupid and awful and it’s good that was only 30 mins of disappointment rather than fucking 50 or whatever

Still love the vibes of this outtro tho. Wish the rest of the show was this cool.

now we just need -rex - ezra - direct kanan mention (like NAMED)

[the-firebird69]

These people are spent O. K. They're spent a long time ago. Right now, it's ridiculous. I've never seen so many stupid people blaming about nothing in my life. You need to have automobile insurance to rent a. rental car. You need to have automobile insurance to rent a rental truck. The reason why you need insurance is because the insurance companies do a check. and they make sure that you are a rentable person. They do background checks. They do. checks on your driving record and they verify it and they use the service. It takes like a day or two to get approved for. auto insurance. Or they use a system, and it checks all that stuff but it costs money and you have to be buying the policy. And U haul does not want to be in automobile insurance business. They're not. insurers of vehicles. And really, we can't stand you. What you've been saying is terrible. You're you're wrong all the time There's other things that are ridiculous. And we found them to be very trite. You're saying something like we don't understand. what you're asking about is not what you're saying. You're saying here's the answer and you're lying and you can go to jail. And he said you'll get beat up Outback and you probably will as well. by your own people. You're just sitting there saying stupid **** to them And this girl, Emily, does not know a **** thing about what he's saying. What our son is saying is I don't want to go to that stupid funeral on my own dime. I have no money to get there. And he said it before and he's been saying I can't actually get there and I don't wanna go there and there's no will and testimony and you just send me out there and say I'm trapped there in Florida's horrible. So you're making my life miserable because you're a **** idiot. This is some real cheesy **** What you people do is **** **** cheesy. When he's moving and stuff, he knows he has somewhere to go and some thing to do. And there's a game. Wha.... thing to do. And there's a game. What you people are are these cheap little **** who don't know what you're doing. That's a crap **** move. There's a lot to do there in Arizona. There's a huge number of things, but not right now. And the people trying to help you don't know what they're **** doing either. and they don't want him there because of the pseudo empire is not true. But you're not doing that. You're not doing a fake thing for them, and you're not using cover. You're just a bunch of **** bothering him and everybody else who wants to rent a vehicle. And Our sun said this.'cause

;YOU PROBABLY CAN GET A TEMPORARY INSURANCE POLICY AND I IKNKOW ABOUT IT I GOT IT TO GO TO MEXICO BUT ON MY CAR, AND THEY MAY INSURE YOU IF YOU HAD A POLICY WIHT THEM FOR A MOVE OR OTHER SHORT TERM INSURANCE POLICY. AND PROBABLY WILL COST A FEW HUNDRED DOLLRS;;

We actually know they have these policies, and people can get them. Now, these **** did not say anything about it. And it's really stupid 'cause they need trucks out there, and they probably just keep them, and they don't wanna send the trunks. They themselves have to move, and probably won't have insurance, and think that they do and they don't. Some of them are dumb, some are running a scam. Most of them don't know what they're doing. And we found this in the factories. They're a whole bunch of **** **** following the orders of this spinned TBI level 3 zombie. We have. that guy. He's a **** **** **** and he can't help it is true. But boy, is he nasty. He is a nasty **** **** **** It's probably because of this guy, Hawthorne. He's a freaking idiot too. He's running around. He's full of gibberish and yammering. It's like a street person. It. they're no longer around. OK, he's doing this piece, and he thought he was in that time, and he couldn't remember. I mean, he's, he's smoked. We have some things to report. Not a ton, but wow. What a bunch of jerks. This straightens it out. So we're gonna print, and you can all take a bath, and everybody's hatred and die.

Thor Freya

im gonna get you all a job at playtell testing out the shapes that go in the holes see ify ou cn handle it. prob not unsafe toy can fitup bja ass

Zues hahahah Hera

and we deserve it yes. eachand everly line item of his life we do this and i see the numbers are out. need yoou out you dont follow orders. dont tel him and she did as it is lame. fvery lanme cant go to the funeral dont care if he is in it was in a refer and then out after i leave and has cncer stage five level five grpo fivfe 5555 and shit. so this blwos. ok. fn stupid shit.

start a war here yeh w the psuedo empire and we cant do it. nope.

john r

Olympus

[kirk-says-wah]

“We found this too.”

Lars doesn’t have to see to know it’s the picture of him, he can see the fear on Kirk’s face.

“I don’t understand,” he says, putting the photo down. “He was following you?”

He’s looking at Lars now, eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed, and Lars shudders, pulls away.

“I don’t know,” he says, quiet. “I don’t remember.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I can hardly remember anything that happened when I was that age.”

Kirk swallows, his hand drawing patterns along Lars’ back.

***************************************

At first, I thought that the photo was taken after Lars got hurt, but I just remembered that Lars said he didn't remember that day. So it means the photo was taken before he got shot. Because Lars's teenage years were his long-term memories. When I was reading up on TBI most patients lose their long-term memories. As well as the accident. The only reason why they would know they suffered a TBI and lost their memory is if someone told them the story of what happened to them. Torben (as M6 and Nova said) didn't tell Lars about his shooting. This is what I think happened...

I think Lars was in the hospital in a coma and Lars woke up and couldn't remember anything. I think he was placed in a private rehab while he was still in a vegetable-type state. Which is why he doesn't remember the hospital or physical recovery. I think they brought Lars home when he was in the clear by the hospital/physio staff. And I think Torben hired people to work and treat Lars at home. It's normal for someone to not remember the recovery period of a traumatic event. Your brain sometimes blocks things out to protect you. At a certain point, Lars started to regain consciousness. Meaning that yes he's awake but he's not conscious of what's around him just yet. With TBI you lose time and awareness. You're constantly always forgetting things. However, I think when Torben was told by the doctor that Lars was starting to get better. I think Lars remembered that he used to do street work. And he didn't like it.

From chapter 3

Lars swallows thickly. He’s not done street work since he was younger. He’s never liked getting his hands dirty, and having to make sure the money gets into the right hands is not a secure job. His father only pulled him up the ranks because he’s his son, but that’s the easiest he’s ever been on Lars. He guesses he owes his father that. He wouldn’t be such a vital piece of the empire if his father hadn’t made it so.

When Torben started realizing that Lars was starting to process some things. Instead of Torben telling Lars the full story of how he was shot. I think Torben had a casual conversation with Lars and just told him that Lars is going to be moving up in the ranks. Torben said to Lars I know you hate the street part of the job. Plus two of my men got shot so it can be dangerous. Also, there were so many problems that led to some bad deals with Dave.

From chapter 4

Mustaine. Yeah Lars has definitely heard of him. He messed up all Lars’ numbers a few years back with some backhanded deals, and he’d even shot some of Torben’s men. Lars dreads to think how he’s involved with this.

So Torben taught him the books. And kept him close by indoors. Lars made new memories.

You all can disagree with what I'm about to say but I think Torben did the right thing by not telling Lars what happened to him. As a parent, you try to protect your children at all costs. Torben knew he fucked up when Lars got shot. And I do believe the fact that Lars lost his memory is a reminder to him every day that he put Lars in that dangerous situation. I don't think Torben has any agenda at all regarding not telling Lars. I think he's a father trying to do right by his son. As M6 said...

I think Torben was trying to protect him. Because I can't even imagine how scary it would be for Lars to hear that he lost his memory from being shot. I also think Torben saw this as a second chance. In the sense that now that Lars doesn't remember the shooting. Torben thinks to himself that I can make him work doing the books and keep him safe out of the street life.

And when an opportunity came to get Lars out of the life by the deal Torben made with Dave. Torben took it very fast. He went to Virgil immediately and told him that he had a way to get Lars and James out. Again, for me, Torben is trying to correct the mistake he made. And again like M6 said...

The only way to get Torben to talk... is not Lars crying or saying he's in pain. Or begging his dad to tell him. Sympathy will never do. Lars won't get anywhere. Torben will never budge. Lars has to give Torben what he desperately wants. Which is for Lars to get out. Because that's where the vulnerability shows. If Lars ever wants Torben to talk about his past and whatever it is that he did...

Torbens vulnerability is Lars staying in this life. He's desperate to have him out. Lars getting shot to the head shook Torben. As a matter of fact, it woke Torben up.

Yes, we would like Torben to tell Lars how he ended up not remembering anything. But is it going to do Lars any good? Honestly, I don't think so. Yes, sadly, Lars lost his teenage years. But just think about the trauma and the counseling that Lars will have to go through if he finds out what happened that day. So I don't blame Torben at all for deciding to not tell Lars.

���

That makes a lot of sense!

This is such a good theory! It explains why Lars doesn’t remember and why Torben hasn’t told him what happened. You’re right, maybe it will make things worse if Lars is told what happened. This explains why Torben took the deal so easily with Virgil too.

I think this is definitely one of the best theories so far!

[theartofquirk]

How a Mild Head Injury Can Cause Long-Term Cognitive Issues

Let's dive into a surprising topic that hardly anyone talks about. You know those memory issues and executive functioning problems you’ve been experiencing? Maybe you’ve even wondered about ADHD... Well, what if I told you they might be linked to a head injury from your past?

Connecting the Dots: My Unexpected Journey

You might think a head injury big enough to cause such problems would be pretty memorable, right? Well, let me share my story to show how this connection can be missed for years.

Back in the day, I was a bright student, always at the top of my class. But as my exams approached, something strange started happening to my brain. I began experiencing difficulties I couldn't explain. Concentration issues, memory issues, zoning out, depression, severe fatigue, times when my brain just “went offline”. Despite my struggles, I passed most of my exams, but my life became a rollercoaster of success and failure.

Eventually, I was diagnosed with ME, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. I thought I was just genetically unlucky, stuck with a bad hand of cards. But then, last year, I stumbled on some information that changed everything. I discovered that all these conditions can be triggered by even a mild head injury.

Suddenly, it all made sense. I remembered a blow to the head I had right around the time I began struggling. Could that seemingly minor incident have set off a chain reaction that led to my diagnoses? It was a revelation that connected the dots in a way I never imagined.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

The struggles overshadowed my life. Praised for my intelligence and told I would go far, my self-esteem plummeted as I failed to meet expectations. Starting my A-level studies, I was on track to study medicine, but I barely scraped through my exams. It was frustrating because I knew my intelligence was still there; I just couldn't use my brain properly. This worsened my ME and depression, and so chronic pain became a daily burden.

Realising that all my struggles likely stemmed from that split-second head injury was a lightbulb moment. It gave me an explanation and freed me from the guilt of "not trying hard enough." Not living up to my potential and making my parents proud weighed heavily on me. But now, I see it wasn't a character flaw—it was trauma that had disrupted my neurons enough to change my life.

Unmasking the Hidden Effects of Mild TBI

Did you know that even a mild traumatic brain injury (TBI) can have long-term effects on cognition? It's wild, but even a minor blow to the head can cause significant issues with memory, attention, and executive function. For someone going through this, it might mean forgetting important dates or tasks, struggling to focus on work or studies, and finding it hard to plan or organize daily activities. These cognitive difficulties can stick around for months or even years, leaving people feeling frustrated and confused about their mental fog and reduced efficiency.

Living with the long-term effects of a mild TBI can make everyday life a constant challenge. You might find yourself unable to multitask like you used to or needing more time to complete simple tasks. Social interactions can also become tough, as keeping up with conversations or remembering names and details gets harder. This can lead to feelings of isolation and anxiety since the invisible nature of these cognitive struggles makes it hard for others to grasp what you're going through.

Looking Back: Could a Childhood Injury Be the Cause?

Think back to your childhood. Do you remember ever having a head injury or a bump, even if it wasn't severe enough to be treated in the hospital? My own injury occurred during cheerleading when I fell off someone's shoulders and hit the floor. But for you it could have been a fall off your bike, a sports injury, or even a playful accident that seemed harmless at the time.

Try to recall if your symptoms have always been present or if, like me, they started around that time. It's important to note that it can take up to 18 months for symptoms of a mild TBI to fully manifest. So, what might have seemed like a small incident could actually be the root cause of ongoing issues you're experiencing now.

Don't Go It Alone: Seeking Professional Help

Lastly, checking in with your doctor is always a good idea. They can help you explore the connection between your symptoms and any past head injuries and may offer further support or treatments. It's never too late to seek help and find ways to improve your quality of life.

Connect with Our Community

If this resonates with you, join our Facebook group! It's a chill space where we share stories, tips, and support each other. Click the link and come hang out with us. We'd love to have you!

If you think you’re dealing with something similar, don’t worry—I’ve got you covered! I have tons of tips and advice to help ease the long-term effects of TBI. From memory tricks to managing executive function struggles, I’ve been through it all and found ways to make life a bit easier. Stick around, and I’ll share what I’ve learned to help take some of the pain out of your journey.

Did this post give you any "aha" moments? I'd love to hear about it! Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Sharing your experiences and insights can help others on their journey too. Let's get the conversation started!

[dpomalescreative]

BLoG: My Dedication to Freelance

Are you or your business in search of or in need of a Graphic Designer or Photographer or Marketing Assistant or Brand Ambassador? This is what we do as a Professional Freelancer. We work in many fields of business and thats what we love most about bring a Freelancer. No project is ever the same and every day can be so different and unique depending on which hat I'm wearing or field of business I am working in. Projects can last from hours to days so time management is super important. Staying focused is imperative. Anticipation of the clients needs are key! This is ideal work for the Creative who can't decide on just 1 field of business or interests. This is how we mix it up and keep it interesting. This is how we don't get bored or have a run in with monotony. This is how we stay sharp!

We are here in Orlando and local to the Central Florida area.. I am a Creative of more than 30 years and the name of my company is DPomalesCreative Services. How can we be of service? We LooVe what we do and we intend it to show through our creative ways. Embracing my creativity has been a game changer that happened in 2008 when I finally walked away from the corporate 9-5 job. I chose to put my hard efforts, commitment and loyalty into me, instead of a job/corporate entity that only saw me as a number or would easily lay me off due to budget cuts and other nonsense. This was my time to shine and I took a big step in a new direction. I would chase my passions!

I have not stopped shining nor regret my choice to go Freelance. I have gained so much knowledge and experience in so many different fields that I'm ready for anything that comes at me. I am a well rounded creative and have found my place in the world's of Branding... Marketing/Printing... Photography... Graphic Design... Management... Event Professional/Brand Ambassador... and this list goes on! These are just some of the areas I work in and contribute to. I have always followed my passions and so I express it in all that I've done since inception of my new found mindset so many years ago. I'd had enough with corporate layoffs and mergers that left you (or the creative dept) out in the rain so to speak. I decided I would take my future into my own hands. I would take the skillsets I had and hone in on my crafts.

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Simply reaching out to my vast community across the web and businesses worldwide! We Love what we do and we intend it to show in our services. Our skillsets are polished and ready to help you bring your brand, business or company to life.

[quirkthieves]

Lacramioara & Love

some headcanons while i put together mioara's playlist since ... cw for discussion of abusive relationships & talk of ableism, homophobia, 18+ topics, immolation...etc

Lacramioara's "first love" was the woman he adoringly refers to as "My Lady"; a noblewoman of the same age who saved her life after he fell, suffering severe head trauma in the process.

As a result, both feeling indebted and no longer able to make the long pastoral journeys alone that being a shepherd required due to his injuries, Mioara would dedicate herself to being the Lady's handmaid. (16)

In Mia's eyes, they were inseparable, and there was nobody else he'd rather stand beside. The long term psychological and physical symptoms of her TBI resulted in being either implicitly or explicitly rejected by others, which was only compounded by matters of class.

They engaged in both physical and romantic intimate acts; to Lacramioara, they were in a relationship, although her Lady did not view it the same way. Regardless, Lacramioara was willing to tolerate any and all sorts of treatment for the sake of remaining at his Lady's side. One particular demonstration of "fondness" was to make Lacramioara cry, because of her name and emotional volatility.

After nine years of being strung along, Lacramioara would watch her Lady become engaged, and then pregnant. Needless to say, there was a lot at stake when the two were caught together.

With her fiancee incensed at the infidelity and strange relationship the Lady threw Mioara under the bus for diabolic seduction-- but Mioara agreed to go along with her story. A life for a life, right?

Although given multiple times to recant and serve penance, Lacramioara refused. He would not apologize for love, nor would she deny it, so strong was her love for her Lady. Strong enough to be beatified and offered angelhood. Even after being burned at the stake, Lacramioara doesn't appear to realize she was used, but her heartbreak at her Lady not even being present for his execution left a deep curse on those involved that not even Mia is cognizant of.

But what about now?

-Lacramioara, naturally, still yearns for love. He'll chase the slightest indication of affection, regardless of if she would have felt that way for the other person in the first place. He'll tolerate the intolerable, even when he becomes aware she's being played with.

-She'll fall in love with even the oddest traits of an individual. As a partner, Lacramioara's genuinely supportive, and means what he says. He'll learn to make your favorite foods or listen to you talk about your favorite things, although this can sometimes turn into enabling in the wrong conditions.

-He can be viciously possessive and jealous. While not the type to think of her partner as a cheater, and believing of proclaimed friendships at face value, the situation can escalate intensely when she believes someone is hitting on his partner. Or attempting courtship in any manner. This has only been made worse by the centuries of doing a job where physical punishment in the most brutal ways possible is considered a proper avenue. Come get your boyfriend bro she's beating the shit out of people.

-Abandonment avoidance is high. Lacramioara has spikes of fear (irrational or not) that he's somehow messed up terribly, and will desperately try to right the wrong, regardless of if the wrong actually exists or not

-he's incorrigibly horny. im sorry theres no way not to be crass about it. and known for being promiscuous as far as fwb and one night stands go, although once in a relationship, he becomes entirely monogamous. she's also into some weird shit, but typically will adapt to the preferences of her partner.

-you will probably get your blood sucked though. not in a horny way. unless you want it in a horny way. but you are getting Drank.

-he excels in domesticity and will always make sure you have food to eat and somewhere to sleep.

-she likes to be matchies :) wearing matching accessories or outfits makes her happy

-something she values deeply is a partner who takes her disability as part of the package without seeing her as a burden. days spent crying in the dark from pain and nausea, spells of confusion, erratic moods, tremors and weakness... he already feels pressure and guilt about these things because of how they impede her work and the incredibly conditional nature of their payout. And when what you get paid in directly correlates to your ability to feel happiness...

-naturally, anyone dating Lacramioara will have to deal with Leopold in some fashion, and Leopold's inevitable shovel talk. He worries deeply about Lacramioara (and doesn't have much confidence in her taste), and has a vested interest in ensuring there's no more heartbreak.

(especially if it can lead to curses)

[blogblogbloggittyblog]

january 18- february 16, 2024

last nice thing he said to me was in mid october. and i know he sucked but maybe he didn’t and i did instead and i just ruin the good things that come my way -----

apparently they’ve broken up because she was bored or smth. which objectively sucks for him and i’m sorry that happened. but also like obviously makes me feel a little satisfaction. the thing is tho like now this opens up a whole new territory of . no it doesnt. jesus christ. i wouldve stayed wuth him we all know tbis it wouldve been fine but ig he didnt want thag and yk what it honestly props to her has made hik more confident, hes in band now and he takes art and he puts his hair up and has a photo of his face and so obviously im fucking jealous because why didn’t i do that. maybe i made him better in someway idk how u could get bored of a relationship that’s crazy it just means u don’t wanna be with them basically. and he didn’t wanna be w me. which is awesome. idk what i’m saying. i’m saying that if he had been an intelligent person or just a more caring and long term focused person, maybe we would’ve still been together. but ig he had different needs too right like i couldn’t eat lunch w him every single day and yeah idk -----

went on a date w a man. it was ok. idk -----

i mean i literally have to be the problem. like crofton and sadie r great, sidney and evelyn are great, ira and his gf r great, even dustin and lake were great. fuckinf cameron dated that girl for four years. idk what’s wrong w me -----

i had a dream abt dustin again. woohoo. it has officially been a year. and i am maybe less sad abt it but still very sad. i think i’m just scared of being alone and not having someone validate me as a good person. i don’t think anyone else i’ve dated still thinks i’m a good person. and maybe they’re right. they’ve all dated better people for longer after me. i was just this shitty patch in their life.

[engagemythrusters]

I’m fucking terrified. Here we go.

The Summit.

Ah Pabu. Calm before the storm.

Imperial summit. Wow wonder where the ep title comes from?

Ah tarkin. Echo’s favourite guy.

HUNTER WHAT THE FUCK

Thank you techh.

“We do not leave our own behind” except for when you do. multiple times.

Omega you are the only one I trust with crosshair at this point. She’s the only one who doesn’t give up on him ever

Aww Phee and omega

get his ass Phee

Oh wait uh phee he’s autistic tho he’s missing thaaaat point

JUST KISS ALREADY

Ugh whatever it’s fine (it is not fine)

I’m tired of you, bitch. Go die in a hole Hemlock.

Better yet get poisoned by your namesake.

I still don’t understand how Tarkin aged 20 years in 2

Tho that follows Obi-Wan’s 30-in-9-years (except he lived on tatooine and never wore sunscreen so that one’s his own bitch fault)

Rex is gonna be forging clearances codes for a looooooooooong time. I mean he takes a break for a bit but then he gets back on it.

Oooooo air rail cars!

Tarkin doesn’t deserve an air rail.

Wrecker imparting his fear of heights onto omega

“Recycle the feed” that officer does not give one flying fuck

WRECKER WHY DID YOU LOOK DOWN 😭😂

awww my 🏴‍☠️ stalled. Gotta wait a bit to continue ig…

I suppose no crosshair in this ep tho bc it’s only about the summit. That’s okay AS LONG AS THEY SAVE HIM NEXT EP AND HE DOESNT FUCKING DIE.

Okay I am back to watch

Honestly ballsy of them to bring Omega to tbis. I would not. She’s to Liddol!! Baby girl :( too small

LEAVE MY POOR CLONES ALONE

I WILL KILL YOU HEMLOCK

Fuck you Tarkin. I fucking hate you.

Star Dust… yeah we all know that’s the fuckin Death Star

Mouse droid! Oh it made lil noises :D

She’s so tiny I love her so so much if anything happens to h—

Oh my god it’s a trap

It’s a trap isn’t it

NO ITS A TRAP AND I KNOW IT IS

omega sweetie it’s a trap go back to wrecker GO BACK TO WRECKER

well hooray tracking beacon but GO BACK ITS ABSOLUTELY A TEAP

wrecker u killed the lil mousie 😭

TECH ITS A TRAP

it’s a trap it’s a trap it’s a trap

Admiral ackbar—

Saw?

It’s

IT IS

I knew that voice

I still think it’s a trap. I don’t know what’s happening here. But I am still certain it’s a trap.

Bye saw

Pew pew pew

Pew pew

Sorry.

DID THEY JUST—WRECKER OH MY GOD 😂 just fucking bowlingpinned them with one of their own oh my god I love that man

She shot his butt hehe

… why is the controller for that ship… down there… o-o

Well there goes that tracker

Okay I’ll admit being wrong. It wasn’t a trap.

Hehe wrecker is gonna drop isn’t he. That’s gonna fucjin terrify him. Poor guy.

Oh? Cliffhanger?

Yknow what this is long already I’ll start another one for the next ep in a reblog

I’m gonna get food first

[fr3akinthecorner]

are u trying to get urself killed? what do u mean? I have to do everything for u now so that u can keep writing to me im sorry that I was so mean to u its ok do u get why I did that? to teach me a lesson yes! a very important one that I love you no matter what ok?! so it wasn't true and none of the russian mafia bullying was true... that was crazy ur crazy for thinking that I would survive that lol! I knew that u wouldn't... did u hear the song? yes I did ok so we're doing everything together and u always forget that it's real but it's not a joke im here every single fucking sexmcind ok so that's why we can't have ur iPad fingers being bad like that it says sex... you're in a better mood yes I am bestie! ok so this phone situation how long do u have until u get a new one? bc I stole your last one and j want this one why? bc it's special and belongs to me so u live here? omg u would never get it ok so sing tbis song to me! no daddy ok :( or... jm a ghost ok so u did sinf it to me ur so fhxminf sexy dear fod and ur djar was amazing I couldn't believe what u achieved jn kne day ur sk lol! yes I am at heart were filipina ok so I am not sure but u do look Filipino thanks! ur DNA test is rjfbt.. oh god but you're not mixed like u said it's not that rare... okg this sonf!! can u sing it? lava magma mommy! ok so that's a no yea lol she's good ok so she's cool? j guess so wow she js cool! she's a Chinese boy oh hahaha omf that was funny as fuxk thanks lol why do u never tall to hs? bc I don't want to bother u yea she says that to some men all the time! but she loves bothering u keeho no she doesn't! hmm ok so we have got to post this and yes her life is vaxk to normal perse so she's feeling happy don't say anything about the doctor please km we won't! thanks so u like this song? yea it's really good most ppl can't sing it I don't think that's true yea it's not! I xan sinf it go xbina how does she always know? she's a smart xookje ok baby run and hide ok bye no we meant like ask us how high u are omg hahaha am j high yet? no not really! 2 hours? yes!!! we're crazy or something no that's xommon look qere asian ao I'm waiting doe someone ro say ir fers them high rifhr away to proce mt point what? that Asian ppl don't agree on everything what? like small things like in kdramas ar least yea that's not a xbibae thing! ok soeet jn using the tekken stolen phone I think ans they're xhibse theyee xool with the typo ok so we fer that but yea hols on its not a Chinese thing u guys like to agree? yes! thats cool what about in san antonio? I would have no idea everybody keeps secrets from me wbh? it's just the way I was raised idk did keeho raise u? probably in secret im not sure so ur raised mixed? unfortunately yes but im not mixed we know! are u happy about it? yes I am! it's like not comfortable at all to be raised fbag way why? self esteem is so low ok so we love u ily 2 china hey why don't u talk to Japan? are u Chinese? yes ok and its because they're very like... emotional? I have no understanding of emotions oh ok why? ask keeho please ok so u know nothing about yourself? correct ok so why don't u like this part of the playlist? I don't like the rap part why? it made me depressed so I turned it into a p1harmony playlist thank u bb girl! post this now and u know why... ok old man