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m1ckeyb3rry · 4 months ago

Text

── HOW TO DROWN A CROW

Synopsis: Saturday rolls around, and Karasu finally takes you on that date he promised you. Continuation of Five Ways to Kill a Crow! (part three here!)

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Karasu x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.9k

Content Warnings: reader and karasu are sickeningly down bad for one another but that does NOT stop them from bullying each other when necessary, karasu is never beating the simp allegations though, lowkey hiori slander (in line with the light novel), reader has a protective father, karasu is a good bf tbh, crow boy is thrown into the water (affectionately)

A/N: KARASU ANON THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!! i will post the rest of your requests once i write them hehe i love this man so trust i will be getting all of them done asap.

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own. now closed!

Staring at the pile of rejected clothes by the foot of your bed, you groaned, burying your face in your hands. It was Saturday, and Karasu was supposed to be at your house in an hour, but for the life of you, you could not figure out what you wanted to wear on your date. It didn’t help that he was being so secretive about where you were going; when you had texted him asking about the dress code, he told you that anything was acceptable and then refused to elaborate. Apparently, according to him, you looked fine in whatever you wore and you were stressing out for no reason.

“Stupid Karasu,” you muttered, picking up your phone and deciding it was time for your absolute last resort. You hadn’t wanted to go to her, because if you asked for her advice, you’d also have to listen to the speech that would inevitably accompany it, but at this point, you were out of options. Before you could chicken out, you clicked on your best friend’s contact, video calling her and waiting for her to pick up.

She did so almost immediately, though she was very clearly in the middle of a workout, judging by her red face and the sweat dripping down her forehead. Recently, she was going through a phase where she spent at least half an hour on the treadmill everyday, and it seemed you had caught her at a bad time. Regardless, she grinned at you.

“Hey, Y/N!” she huffed out. “I was just about to text you, actually, so this is good timing.”

“Not now,” you said. “I’m having a code-red emergency.”

“What’s up?” she said. “Will going bowling with us and a couple of the guys later tonight help with it? That’s what I was going to invite you to. Don’t worry, Karasu already said he can’t go, so things won’t be awkward or anything.”

“Unfortunately, I’m busy tonight,” you said. “I’m going on a date — that’s why I called you, actually. I need outfit advice. I’ve never been on a date before, so I have no idea what to wear!”

“A date?” she shrieked before looking around, obviously embarrassed that she had reacted in such a way at her public gym. “I mean, a date? With who? Is it that guy I was telling you about, the one who thought he might have a chance with you now that you and Karasu had ‘broken up’ or whatever?”

“No,” you said. “Please, I have standards. You may think they’re absurdly low, but they do exist.”

“Then who?” she said.

“So, funny story,” you said, wincing and bracing yourself for the incoming lecture. “It’s actually with Karasu.”

There was a silence, but you knew that it was deceiving. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to react; rather, she was gathering her thoughts, processing the information she had received, and preparing her reaction.

“Karasu?” she said. “Like Tabito Karasu? Soccer player Tabito Karasu? Your ‘mortal enemy’ who you’re ‘so glad is finally leaving you alone’ Tabito Karasu? The one who you refused to talk to because you found him immature? You’re going on a date with him? And it’s tonight?”

“Spot on,” you said. “That’s why I need your help picking my outfit—”

“No, no, hold on just a second. How long has this been going on?” she said.

“Look, I don’t have time for this. He’s going to be here in an hour, and I’m just standing around in a bathrobe!” you said.

“Okay, show me the options while you talk,” she said. Figuring you weren’t going to get out of it, you flipped the camera so she could see the few choices you had settled on as you began to speak.

“One of his soccer teammates came to me on Wednesday and helped me realize what I had done wrong. Then he invited me to their game that evening, so I went to watch them. Once the game was over, I found Karasu and apologized to him, after which he asked me to go to dinner with him on Saturday — meaning, today,” you said.

“You’ve had plans with Karasu since Wednesday and you didn’t tell me? Also, option two is my favorite. It’ll highlight your figure the best, I think, but it doesn’t look like it’ll be super uncomfortable, and it doesn’t give the impression that you’re trying too hard. Perfect for a first date! Although, considering he’s only really seen you in the school uniform, I’m pretty sure anything you could wear would impress him,” she said.

“You make it sound like I lied to you about it! I just wasn’t sure if I should tell you or not. I mean, it’s not like we’re officially going out or anything. It’s just one date, and it could go horribly wrong. Most likely it will, considering how things between us tend to go,” you said. “Also, thanks! That one was my favorite, too, but I needed the second opinion, and I wasn’t about to go ask my parents for help.”

“Sure, anytime. So what, were you planning on only mentioning it after the fact?” she said.

“Pretty much,” you said.

“You’re so annoying. I need live updates as they happen, not days later!” she said.

“Okay, okay, I promise I’ll keep you posted from now on,” you said, setting your phone down so you could get changed. “Happy?”

“Super happy. I can’t believe you’re going on a date with Karasu, though. No, actually, I can, because I’ve been shipping you guys together from the start, but it’s unreal that you’re finally giving in and doing it! It’s like a dream come true,” she said.

“You’re seriously strange,” you said. “Like I said, don’t expect much. The most I’m hoping for is a free meal.”

That was a lie. You really, really wanted it to go well. You just thought that, if you squealed and gushed about it with your best friend, you would, in a way, jinx it. And you couldn’t afford that, not when you had only just gotten him back, so you did your best to maintain a nonchalant exterior, even though internally, you were freaking out.

“Uh-huh, sure. If you guys get married, I better be the maid of honor! I have such a good speech planned. You’re not ready,” she said.

“Yeah, I’m fucking not! We haven’t even gone on one date yet, why are you already planning our wedding?” you said.

“I’m a bit of a romantic,” she said with a dreamy sigh. “Hey, if things work out between you two, do you think that you can set me up with one of his soccer friends? Besides Karasu, there’s no one attractive at our school, and of course he’s always been yours, so I’ve never even looked twice at him, but I’ll really be jealous if you have a boyfriend and I’m all single and lonely!”

“Sure,” you said. “I’ll talk to him about it, though, you know, even if it doesn’t work out, you could probably ask him yourself. Aren’t you guys kind of friends?”

“Not close enough for me to ask him to set me up with anyone, and definitely not close enough for me to keep talking to him if he wrongs you in any way!” she said.

“What if I wrong him?” you said, only half-joking. You were more terrified of that, of wronging Karasu, than anything. After all, the last falling out had been your fault, and although he had assured you that he didn’t hold it against you, you still worried that you might one day say something that drove him away from you forever.

“Nah, that’s impossible. You’re always right, Y/N!” she said. “Don’t worry so much. Go have fun! Like you said, you’ll get a meal out of it either way. Whatever else happens, happens. How about this — tomorrow, let’s get brunch together. That way, if things go badly, you still have something to look forward to, and if they go well, you have someone you can ramble to.”

“That sounds good,” you said.

“Yay! Okay, see you then! Don’t text me too many details unless it’s an emergency; I want to be surprised tomorrow by the full story,” she said.

“Thanks for the help,” you said, blowing her a kiss through the screen. “Enjoy the rest of your workout!”

“Will do!” she said, hanging up and leaving you with just enough time to finish getting ready before Karasu was supposed to arrive.

When you got downstairs, the first thing your mother did was clap. This gained the attention of your father, who nodded at you in a crisp, paternal way which meant he approved but was too emotional to say it.

“You look beautiful, honey!” your mother said, pretending to wipe away a tear. “I can’t believe my baby is going on her first date.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” you said, rubbing your arm. “Do you really think I look nice?”

“Yes,” your father said, pausing the soccer match he was watching. “What’s that young man’s name, again? Kimitsu? I expect him to come inside and greet us before taking you out, like a proper gentleman would.”

“It’s Karasu,” you said. “And no, why would he waste his time doing that?”

“Nowadays, the youth just text one another once they’ve arrived,” your mother said sagely. “I watched a video about it on social media.”

“That’s appalling,” your father said with a sneer.

“He’s not an appalling guy, father, it’s just more convenient that way,” you said.

“If he can’t even push aside his own convenience to do something so simple, then how can he be a proper boyfriend?” your father said. “You deserve someone who goes above and beyond.”

“That’s true,” your mother said. “But social conventions and whatnot have changed. You can’t expect him to do something he doesn’t even know that he should do.”

“He should’ve been born with the knowledge,” your father griped. You rolled your eyes.

“Father, please just give him a chance,” you said. “Anyways, it’s only one date. There’ll be plenty of time for whatever you’re talking about later, if it even progresses to that point.”

Your father opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say next was cut off by a firm knock. Your parents exchanged looks before glancing at you in surprise; you shrugged, equally as taken aback as they were. All three of you crept towards the foyer, your mother shoving you forward and then drawing back to stand beside your father, giving you an encouraging thumbs up as you brushed yourself off and then opened the door.

Karasu was waiting there, a bouquet of pale pink and white tulips in his right hand. When he noticed you standing before him in shock, he blushed slightly, shoving them into your arms and thumping his fist lightly atop your head in reprimand.

“I brought these for you, idiot,” he said. “I hope you like them. I had my sister help me pick them out so that they were perfect.”

The thought of him going to buy flowers with his older sister was oddly endearing. Maybe it was the fact that he had gone to such lengths for such a simple gesture, or maybe it was the way he was standing so stiffly, like he wasn’t sure whether you’d be pleased or not, but something about the gift made you relax upon its receival. He was nervous, too; it wasn’t just you who was scared about messing up. You and Karasu, you were in this together, and you thought that it was a little bit easier to stomach if it was like that.

“They’re really pretty,” you said. “I love them. Would you like to come inside while I put these in a vase? If you want, you can meet my parents. They’re kind of intense, though, so apologies if they say something strange.”

“I don’t mind,” he said, stepping in behind you. Your parents immediately pretended like they hadn’t been eavesdropping, your mother busying herself with rubbing at an imaginary smudge on the mirror propped up against the far wall, your father straightening one of the paintings hanging by the door. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. L/N. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tabito Karasu.”

“Kimitsu, eh?” your father said, puffing out his chest threateningly. Unfortunately, given Karasu’s height and impressive musculature, it was incredibly hard for almost anyone to seem threatening compared to him; thankfully, Karasu did not point this out, only smiling politely and offering your father his hand to shake.

“No, sir, it’s Karasu. Like the bird,” he said. Your father shook his hand warily, and before you could die from the secondhand embarrassment, you escaped to the kitchen, pulling out a vase from one of the cabinets and filling it with water so that you could put the flowers in it.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself quite a catch there,” your mother said, joining you in the kitchen. “He’s handling himself quite admirably in front of your father. And he even brought you flowers!”

“He did, didn’t he?” you said, admiring the splayed out bouquet. “They really are nice.”

“He did a good job picking them out,” your mother agreed.

“Him and his sister,” you corrected her. She tilted her head.

“It’s nice to see that he values her opinion. That tells me that he’ll probably value yours, too, if things between you two ever get serious,” she said.

“They’ll never get serious if father chases him off right here and now, though,” you said, taking one last look at the flowers and smiling to yourself. “I should probably go rescue him.”

“Agreed,” your mother said.

You were expecting the worst when you returned to the foyer, but to your surprise, it was a heartwarming scene you walked in on. Karasu was leaning against the door, telling your father some story with great animation, and by the looks of it, your father was completely invested in the tale, his initially hostile posture replaced with his typical laid-back slouch. As soon as he noticed your re-entrance, Karasu paused, prompting your father to look over at you.

“Y/N!” your father said. “Karasu here was just telling me about how he started playing soccer. You didn’t tell me he was the captain of Bambi Osaka!”

“I didn’t think that it was relevant,” you said. In hindsight, maybe you should’ve mentioned it; your father loved watching soccer, and there was no doubt in your mind that he would’ve been much more receptive to Karasu if he had known that the boy was so talented at his preferred sport.

“We’ll have to continue this conversation at another time, sir,” Karasu said. “And please, if you ever want to come to one of our games, let me know. I’ll make sure you get good seats. Captain’s privileges and all.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” your father said, though he was obviously delighted by the offer.

“I insist. Anything for Y/N’s family,” he said. You made a face at him behind your father’s back; when your father turned to look at you, you schooled your expression into a sweet smile, discreetly flipping Karasu off when he responded in kind and stuck his tongue out at you.

“Have a great time, alright?” your father said. “Don’t get back too late.”

“Text us if you need anything!” your mother said.

“Will do,” you said. “Come on, Karasu, let’s go, or else you’ll be stuck talking to my father about soccer for hours.”

You dragged him over to his car as he waved at your parents, who waved back. Only when the front door of your house was shut did you allow yourself to flick him on the forehead, causing him to whine and clutch the affected area dramatically.

“What was that for?” he said, opening the door to the passenger side and motioning for you to get in.

“You’re such a suck-up,” you said. “I can’t believe you talked to my father about your soccer journey for that long.”

“I want them to like me!” he protested. “Anyways, your dad’s a pretty cool guy. I can’t lie, I was kind of intimidated at first, but I think he warmed up to me in the end.”

“He definitely did, and you’re some kind of magician for that,” you said, still in disbelief that he had managed to charm both of your parents so thoroughly and in such a short time. “Also, flowers, really?”

“You said you liked them,” he said. “Did you not?”

“Of course I liked them!” you said.

“Then why are you complaining?” he said.

“I’m not complaining. I’m just taken aback, that’s all. Sure, I’ve never been on a date or anything before, but from what I’ve heard from my friends who have, the first ones tend to not be quite so…nice? Nice, yeah, I think that’s the word,” you said.

“To be fair, their first dates were probably also their first times actually meeting their partners,” he said. “On the other hand, we’ve known each other for years, so it’s a little different. More importantly, what do you mean when you say you’ve never been on a date?”

“I guess this is why you’re not number one in Modern Literature,” you said with an over-exaggerated sigh. “You see, when I say I’ve never been on a date, what I mean by that is I have not, in fact, gone on a date with anyone before. Should I explain it in simpler language so that it’s more on your level? Me no date. Me single forever.”

“That’s embarrassing,” he said.

“Okay, Mr. Playboy,” you said. “What, do you go on dates every weekend or something? Next you’ll tell me you buy all of them flowers, too. And here I was, feeling special.”

“Nope, I’ve never been on a date either, but it’s different,” he said.

“Why?” you said.

“Because I’ve just never asked someone,” he said. “I’ve liked the same girl since middle school, so I didn’t see the point in going on dates with anyone else. For you, though, it’s just because no one ever asked you.”

“How do you know I didn’t just reject everyone that asked?” you said.

“Did you?” he said.

“No,” you admitted. “No one asked.”

He snorted. “Like I said. Embarrassing.”

“Hey! It’s your fault, so quit it with the smug act,” you said.

“How is it my fault?” he said. “Oh, wait, is it because of the rumors that we’ve been dating for years now?”

“Yup,” you said. “People were way too scared of you to approach me.”

“Good,” he said with a smirk. “That means I did my job well.”

“Hold on,” you said, his earlier comment finally registering in your mind. “Since middle school? Who the hell have you liked for that long, and why didn’t you just ask her out sooner? It’s a little sad that you didn’t.”

“You’d think, given your grades, that you’d be bright in real life, too, but I can see that that’s not the case,” he said. “Obviously, I’m talking about you. Why else would we be going on a date right now?”

“Oh, right,” you said. “Holy shit. You’ve liked me for that long?”

He turned redder and redder with each passing second, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as he slunk down in his seat. You watched him in amusement, finding the shyness — which contrasted so harshly with his typically loud personality — to be sweet, in the same way a baby animal learning to walk was.

“Shut up,” he said.

“You should’ve said something,” you said.

“Considering how set you were on hating me, I don’t think that it would’ve done much if I had. Ironically, as hurtful as it was for you to fall all head over heels for that Yukimiya guy, it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me, because it somehow made you realize that you don’t absolutely despise me. I’ll have to thank him if we ever meet,” he said.

“You do that,” you said, reaching over to pat him on the shoulder. “Although, if you’re in the business of thanking people, you should reach out to Hiori first. He did you a favor, even if he had an admittedly unorthodox method of going about it.”

“He’s kind of an interesting little guy, don’t you think?” Karasu said. “Like, I want to study him and figure out how his mind works.”

“Aw, don’t be mean,” you said. “He was really sweet.”

“I’m not saying it in a bad way! Besides the fact that he pretty much hates soccer, which is ironic given that he plays for one of the best youth clubs in the country, he’s relatively harmless. It’s just that the way he goes about things is so peculiar, and I feel like I need to know what the thought process behind his decision-making is,” he said.

“That’s fair,” you said. “He told me he’s been observing you.”

“He tried to follow me home one day,” he said. “It was freaky. I thought I was going to get robbed.”

“No way! I thought he was going to rob me, too!” you said.

“Guess that’s an alternative career path for him, if being an athlete doesn’t work out,” Karasu mused.

“You’re horrible,” you said. “Maybe he has a rough home life and doesn’t know any better. You should be kind.”

“What? I am kind! I’m super kind! Why do you think he’s so interested in me? It’s because of the kindness that radiates off of me in waves!” he said. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye in disbelief.

“That’s not kindness radiating off of you, that’s the scent of your hair gel,” you said. “Speaking of which, Karasu, I bet you’d look so handsome without it. Please stop. For me.”

“Just because you said that, I’m going to put on even more the next time I see you,” he said haughtily. “And for your information, it is hair wax. Not gel.”

“Right, because the difference between the two is astounding,” you said. “My deepest and sincerest apologies. I’ll do better next time.”

“Good,” he said.

“So,” you said after a moment. “Where are we going, exactly? You refused to tell me, so I had to make an educated guess with my outfit. I hope it’s okay.”

Luckily, the light turned red, so he could stop and look you over with a critical eye. He must’ve been satisfied by whatever he saw, as he hummed in approval and returned his attention to the road, just in time for it to turn green again.

“Yeah, you look pretty,” he said. “And I didn’t tell you because it’s a surprise. You’ll like it, though.”

“I hope so. I turned down a bowling trip for this,” you said.

“I turned that trip down, too,” he said.

“True,” you said. “Oh, wait, this is only tangentially related, but since we’re on the topic of our friends…are any of your hot soccer buddies single?”

“What?” he said, voice turning high-pitched momentarily. “Why would you ask that?”

“My best friend is in the market,” you said.

“I see,” he said, once again speaking in his normal tone. You blinked in confusion before deciding it wasn’t even worth questioning him. “Most of them are single, but they’re not the type I’d let within fifty feet of any girl I knew, so it’s your call whether or not that’s the kind of person you want to set her up with.”

“Absolutely not,” you said.

“I’ll keep an eye out in the future, though,” he promised you. “Wanna play music?”

“I can. What do you like?” you said.

“Anything you like,” he said. Not up to arguing, and also having a sinking suspicion that his music taste was probably something obscure and nigh-unlistenable, you decided you might as well put your own playlist on shuffle in the hopes that he at least liked some of the songs.

The two of you were driving for a while, mostly listening to the music you were playing and occasionally commenting on whatever interesting things you zoomed past. Sometimes, if a song you both recognized came on, you’d scream the lyrics at one another, each trying to outcompete the other for who knew the song best, but it was a lighthearted form of disagreement, more fun than anything.

In fact, you were actually sad when you reached the parking lot and he pulled into a spot, turning off the car and getting out so that he could open your door for you. You had enjoyed the drive so much that you had forgotten you actually had plans to go to dinner, so you could not help feeling a little disappointed — well, right up until you looked around at the scenery and let out a gasp.

The restaurant was by the ocean, and the seating was in an open patio, the ceiling lined with twinkling lights and flowers blooming in hanging pots. The tables were covered in white tablecloths, and the water was so close that you could hear the steady way it lapped against the sand, the soft hush-hush sound far superior to any random pop song you could’ve turned on.

“I don’t know what to say,” you said as you followed Karasu into the restaurant. He offered you his hand, and you took it immediately, your fingers fitting perfectly between his. “How did you find this place? I thought you hated the ocean.”

“Believe me, I do,” he said with a scoff. “Excuse me? We have a reservation for two. The name is Karasu.”

“Right this way,” the hostess said, beckoning you after her, leading you both to a secluded table in the corner, which was decorated like the rest with a candle and a rose in a jar serving as the centerpiece. You sat across from Karasu and accepted the menu that the hostess handed you, leafing through it and considering what you wanted to order.

“If you do, then why’d you pick here of all places?” you said.

“Because. Do you remember last year, when all of us were eating lunch together and we had that debate about what the best first date would be like?” he said.

“Vaguely?” you said, wracking your brain, trying to pinpoint the exact day he was talking about. “Oh, wait, yeah!”

It was uncharacteristically warm out, and so your friends had insisted on eating in the courtyard. Sadly, this meant that you had to beg Karasu and his group to let you sit with them, as they always managed to get the best tables before anyone else could. That day, it seemed that you were in luck — Karasu only glanced at you before nodding and telling you that it was fine if you wanted to join them.

Somehow, the conversation turned to dating and romance. One of Karasu’s teammates was going on a date for the first time, and now all of you were giving your two cents about what you thought the perfect first date ought to be.

“Definitely not a movie,” your best friend said adamantly. “You can’t get to know someone if you’re watching a movie the whole time. It’s totally unromantic and an absolute turnoff. If a guy asked me to go to the movies with him on a first date, I’d say no.”

“Harsh, but fair,” one of Karasu’s friends said. “Going out for coffee is pretty popular nowadays, isn’t it? It’s easy to leave, too, so if things aren’t going great, you can just pay and get out.”

“Getting coffee wouldn’t be horrible,” your best friend said. “Though I feel like it shows a lack of planning and effort.”

“I agree,” you chimed in. “I would like to go for a nice dinner. It would be really special if it was by the ocean — I mean, I love the beach, so I think a guy taking me there would show me that he’s really serious about me and pays attention to the things I say.”

“How would he pay attention to the things you say if you’ve never met before? This is a first date, remember?” your best friend said.

“I can’t see myself dating somebody without being friends with them beforehand,” you said, shaking your head. “I’d want to know what kind of person they are before ever agreeing to pursue something further. So, given that constraint, they should know things about me like my fondness for the sea, and if they don’t, then they obviously aren’t someone who I’d want to be with.”

“You aren’t even friends with any guys,” Karasu said, speaking up for the first time in that insufferable voice of his. You scowled at him; he grinned and held his hands up in the air. “Just saying. Where do you think this magical dude who knows you like the ocean and wants to take you to dinner is going to manifest from? Outer space?”

“I’m sure one day I’ll meet someone who fits my criteria, and then things will go splendidly. You see, for me, it’s a scarcity issue — there just isn’t anyone around here who I’d ever want to date, so I don’t even bother hoping it’ll happen,” you said.

“Nobody? There’s not a single guy at this school you’d go out with?” he said.

“Not willingly,” you said.

“Jeez,” he said. “Tough customer. You need to be prettier to have standards like that.”

“Ugh, you are just the worst!”

“You told me I wasn’t pretty enough to have standards as high as mine are,” you recalled. “Rude.”

“That’s the only thing you can think of? Really?” he said.

“Well…” You bit the inside of your cheek, acting as if you were fascinated by the menu. “I seem to have said something about wanting to go for dinner by the beach for a first date.”

“Mhm,” he said. “You said it would show you that a guy is really serious about you and pays attention to the things you say if he did something like that.”

“Are you?” you said.

“Am I what?” he said.

“Really serious about me,” you said. “Obviously you pay attention to things I say, but what about the first part?”

He furrowed his brow at you. “No, not at all.”

“Huh?” you said.

“I’m joking,” he said, nudging your leg under the table with his own. “Do you think I would’ve gone to all of this trouble if I wasn’t? Hurry up and pick what you want to eat. It’ll be so weird if the waitress comes and you don’t know what you want.”

You would’ve argued, but you were too busy feeling giddy about his confession, so you complied with his instructions for once. Karasu seemed surprised, so you shot him a smile over the top of your menu, earning you a blush which spread from his cheeks to his nose and the tips of his ears.

The food at the restaurant was as good as the atmosphere, and to your surprise, it was easy to talk to Karasu for the duration of the entire meal. You had been afraid that you would run out of things to say, but whether it was due to your shared history or Karasu’s naturally outgoing personality, you found that there was no end to the conversation.

When the waitress came with the check, Karasu immediately slapped his credit card on it, glaring at you so fiercely when your fingers inched towards your purse that you actually felt cowed.

“It’s really alright,” you said.

“I’ll come over there and hold your hands down if you try to pay,” he warned you, wiggling his fingers at you threateningly. You wrinkled your nose.

“If you’re going to be so stubborn about it, then fine,” you said. “Can we go down to the beach once she comes back with your card?”

“Do we have to?” he said.

“No, of course we don’t have to, I just thought that, since we had come all of this way, we might as well,” you said.

Karasu’s lips pursed into an uneasy expression, but he nodded. “Okay, we can.”

You beamed at him. “Thanks! I know it’s not your favorite, but I promise it’ll be fun if we go together.”

“Sure,” he grumbled. “Whatever you say.”

As soon as he had his card back, you left the restaurant behind, traipsing towards the sand until you were on the beach proper. The sun had set already, and the moon’s reflection on the water was like a silver blot, seeping into the sparkling waves and melting amongst the pinpricks of the stars. As you gazed out at the horizon, Karasu intertwined his fingers with yours, and when you turned, you saw that he was looking at you in much the same way that you had been looking out to the sea.

“I want to go in,” you said. “You don’t have to! I just want to dip my feet.”

“Alright,” he said softly. “We can do that.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” you said.

“Yes,” he said. “But I’ll try anyways.”

You smiled, kicking off your shoes and watching him do the same before he leaned down, refusing to let go of your hand as he rolled up the cuffs of his pants so that they did not get wet. Then, tentatively, he stepped forward, screwing his eyes shut as the tides splashed against your ankles.

“Why are you scared of the water?” you said, urging him deeper with a squeeze of your hand. He followed you willingly, though he did not open his eyes.

“I hate it,” he said. “I just do. I can’t explain why. When I was a kid, my sister took me to the pool and tried to teach me how to swim, but I cried and I cried, so she gave up. Pretty mediocre, don’t you think? But I can’t bring myself to get over it.”

“Do you think you’ll drown?” you said.

“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe not. It’s the uncertainty that drives me crazy. When you’re in the water, you’re completely at its mercy, and I don’t like that. I don’t like trusting anyone but myself.”

Of course. The ever-independent Karasu, who was always so self-assured and arrogant…no wonder he hated the water. It was the one force which even he could not rise above, which could kill him if it wanted to, which he was powerless to resist. Being at someone else’s mercy went directly against his nature — so why, then, did he always give himself up for you? Why was he telling you this, when you could be quite sure he had never told anyone else? Why was he chasing after you as you pulled him further and further into an unknown territory?

By the time the water reached his knees, the currents swishing about around your legs playfully, he was all but trembling, though he did not otherwise protest. Working your hand free from his death grip, you waited for him to open his eyes, which he did with a swiftness that left you reeling.

He had an arresting sort of stare, you thought, especially in the moonlight — a kind of dancing wildness which defied explanation. There was not a trace of his typical mischief in his blown pupils when they landed upon you, only fear and awe in equal measure, mixing into a writhing shade as dark as the sky at midnight. An impatient breeze whipped against your face as he reached for you, and for some reason, that moment was what made you very, very certain that you liked him. You liked him more than you had ever liked anyone before. You liked him more than should be possible.

The tips of his fingers dug into your waist as he held onto you for dear life, and slowly, carefully, you allowed your arms to snake around his neck. Besides flinching whenever the water splashed particularly high, he did not move a muscle, though he swallowed when you leaned closer to him.

“Karasu — Tabito,” you said. “Tabito, it’s okay. Even in the water, I’ll be there for you. I was first in the class for swimming, right? So I’ll never let you drown. As long as I’m with you, nothing will happen. Do you believe me when I say that?”

“Yes,” he said. “I do.”

He was reaching his limit, though, and you could tell because he was shifting from foot to foot, eyeing the water warily, his jaw clenched at every ebb and flow. You nodded firmly and then twisted so that you could pick your way back to the shore.

“Let’s go home,” you said.

“Not yet,” he said. In an unexpected role reversal, he yanked you back, extending one hand to steady you when you stumbled and then, before you could comprehend what was happening, tangling the other in your hair, crushing his mouth against yours without abandon.

It was rough and tasted like sea salt, the way he kissed you, all messy and shaky and heady and furious. You were left breathless and clinging to him so that you were not swept away, his shirt bunching up in your fists, his hands roaming up and down your sides like a current.

“Now we can go,” he said, pulling away and flashing you that same cocky grin he always wore, though it was more hesitant than usual, which was either a product of the water’s presence or yours. “Yeah? I think I’ve had more than enough of the beach for the rest of this year.”

“Yeah,” you said once you had regained your wits about you. “Yeah, my parents, I don’t want them to worry, so we should probably — we should probably go.”

“Hm,” he said, resting his forehead against yours. “A couple more minutes wouldn’t hurt though, right?”

“No,” you said immediately. “Not at all.”

“Then what would you say if I asked if we could spend just a little longer here?” he said.

“I think I would say yes,” you said. “Yes. For as long as possible, I want to be here.”

“You’d say that to anyone,” he teased as you walked towards where your shoes lay on the dry sand. You shook your head.

“No,” you said. “Not to anyone. Just you.”

“Is that so?” he said. “Man. It’s hard to be around you when you say stuff like that. It’s hard to listen to, I can’t lie. If anyone else said something so overly sweet, I’d make fun of them.”

“As if you wouldn’t make fun of me,” you said.

“Normally, I would,” he agreed. “But I’ll make an exception this time. It’s our first date, after all. I have to act like a gentleman so you agree to go on a second one.”

“I’ll go on a second one,” you said. “And a third, if you want. A fourth and a fifth, even.”

“That many?” he said. “I must’ve done something right today, then.”

“You did a lot of things right,” you said. “It almost made up for the lifetime of assholery you have led up until this point.”

“I tried,” he said with a wink. “So. Where do we go next time?”

“How about you pick? You did everything I wanted to today, so it’s only fair if I return the favor,” you said.

“I’ll think about it and let you know,” he said. “Oh, and hey, Y/N?”

“Yes?” you said, looking up from where you were putting on your shoes.

“I didn’t mean what I said back then,” he said.

“Back when?” you said.

“Every time I called you ugly or whatever,” he said. “I didn’t mean it. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“I didn’t mean it, either,” you said. “You know, when I told you there wasn’t a single guy at our school that I’d go out with. Turns out there’s one.”

“Lucky fellow,” he said. “Getting to have the Y/N L/N as his girlfriend and all. He hit the jackpot.”

“That he did,” you said. “So I’m your girlfriend, then?”

His eyes widened. “Ah. I mean, only if you want to be.”

“Yeah,” you said. “I want to be.”

“Then I guess you are,” he said. You were planning on responding in a romantic way, but as you tried to come up with something to say, you happened to notice the time on your phone.

“Oh, fuck! My parents are going to kill me if we don’t leave right now!” you said.

“Not on my watch! I finally got you to be my girlfriend. There’s no way I’m letting you die now!” he said, grabbing your arm and taking off in a sprint towards the parking lot. You did your best to keep up with him, though it was difficult when you kept doubling over with laughter at his urgent pleas for you to hurry so that he didn’t lose any of the favor he had curried with your father.

Maybe your best friend hadn’t been so far off the mark, after all. Once you were settled in the passenger seat of his car, you pulled out your phone and texted her, knowing that she was probably waiting anxiously in her room for an update.

‘date went well. get started on that speech.’

#karasu x reader #karasu x y/n #karasu x you #karasu tabito #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock #established relationship #reader insert #m1ckeyb3rry milestone #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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chrissy-kaos · 10 months ago

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Went out with this gem today. I had to hit up my favorite burrito spot before my surgery tomorrow morning. I won’t be able to eat solid food for a long time. So I wanted something good for my last meal.

**Little life update**

Some of you are probably like wtf surgery? What many of you probably don’t know is I’m sick. The really bad kind of sick. The sick you don’t come back from. I’ve made a few post about it in the past. I don’t really want to get into it right now tbh. My Doctors and I are doing everything we can to get me moderately healthy again but in all honesty it’s not going well. Initially it was but now it is not.

We’ve encountered some serious complications and they need to be addressed asap. We found these out at the end of November during a MRI of my kidneys. I was very lucky a specialist was able to notice the anomalies in my scan. When I was told if I’m being honest it was a hard pill to swallow. Those of you that seen that post know how it went. All the work we had done before this was basically for nothing.

We’re hoping that this surgery will alleviate some of my current health issues. This could be the cause of some of them. It’s going to be a long process and multiple treatments/surgeries and recovery this year. But I’m hopeful that everything will work out ok.

So with all that said I probably won’t be posting much for the next few weeks. I’ll probably do a before surgery post and one after. But that’s probably it for a little while. I gotta focus on my health because it’s rapidly deteriorating.

In the event that something wild happens I just want to say I love all of you and thank you for everything. This platform has given me the courage and confidence to be myself. That’s all because of each and every one of you. The stories I get in my DMs inspire me to be the best I can be for you. I know a lot of people look up to me.. that’s still wild tbh. To be a role model for someone is the greatest honor and feeling ever. Nothing compares. So thank you.

I’m going to leave my blog up. If a trans person stumbles across it. Hopefully it will inspire them to be themselves unapologetically. Know it’s never too late to be your true identity. Follow your dreams and know you’re loved. Enjoy life because it’s precious. Share your story. Inspire others and LIVE FOR YOU. The world is much better off with you here. I promise you.

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lululawrence · 1 year ago

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It’s November, and around my house that means I’m getting into gear with all of my Holiday and Winter Cards! This time of year is always rough for me, but one thing that always makes me happy are Christmas and Winter cards. This is my 9th year doing this, which is hard to believe, but I’m crazy excited to be able to continue the tradition this year, and I'm doing so with something new!

The cards are in the process of being made entirely by me, as always, but this year I'm also trying my hand at watercolors so every card will be unique with a bit of art that is hopefully not horrible adorning the front hehe

I'm still making them, but the rainbow trees in the banner are a preview of the art that will be featured on most of the cards and then I will add my personalized messages and send them filled with all of my love and good vibes! I can't do that without some important information from YOU though! So...

WANT A CARD? HURRAY! Here's how it works.

As stated above, I'm still working on the cards and they might not be sent out in time for Christmas, but they will all be mailed, I promise! haha

Through the rest of the month of November and maybe a little into December, I’ll gather addresses and finish the cards so I can start writing out the cards ASAP. Life happens, so the cards might not all make it to you before the new year, but I’m going to try my best to make it happen! Even if my goal of mailing them in early December doesn’t happen, you’ll definitely get a card at some point if you claim one.

HERE’S WHAT I NEED FROM YOU.

I’ll be collecting addresses using this google form. It’s pretty straight forward, but on the form I will be asking for:

Your address (I will mail them internationally). PLEASE write it out exactly as you would on an envelope, line breaks and all! I’ve had some cards get returned to me in the past because I guessed where the line breaks should be, and I guessed incorrectly, so to avoid that I’d love it if you could tell me where the line breaks are

The name you want me to use for the address as well as the name you would like me to write inside the card. For many, the name will be the same, but for others, it will be different, so to account for that, I’ll have an option for both.

Your tumblr URL. This is just so I can reach out to you if there are any issues.

Your preference in card. I will mostly be making rainbow pride trees affixed to Christmas or winter themed paper, but in case you need your cards to be holiday and rainbow free, I am going to be attempting some winter tree cards as well.

And that’s it! There aren’t any other stipulations or requirements. We don’t need to be mutuals, you don’t even need to be following me or in the fandom tbh. You just need to want a homemade card from me to hopefully bring you some cheer!

Even if you aren’t interested in a card for yourself, please reblog this post and help me spread the word. I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you, and Happy November!

#christmas cards #holiday cards #winter cards #my art #that's weird to have a tag for and maybe i shouldn't do it but i'm kinda proud of myself for using watercolors and it not going to shit #big thanks to emmu for that btw #this post is two weeks later than i usually get it up but that's how it goes fronds #i'm still trying my best to get these out to people in december!!#rainbows #rainbow art

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roses-dreams-andthorns · 2 years ago

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Love Me!

Yandere Ṙ̴̭̝̩͙̠̳̠͍̤͕̥͇͇̦̰̦͔̯̥̲̻͖̦̘͕̭̼̎̋͛͌̚͘ĩ̴̧̢̨̡̢̨̡̛͚͔̜̝̮̺͈͚̞̼͇͍̠̲̩͖͙̮̺͇̖̭̠̲͈̪̹̬̪̠̙͈̠̯̫̬͆̂̓̎̂̍͋̈͛̋̓̓͐͛̈́̉̏́̈́̉̾̍̾͌̿͊̆͛͑̓̆̃̅͌͋̿̾̂͗̋̌̄́͒̓̒́́̚͝͝ͅ��̬d̶̡͕̩̤̮̮͔̪̪͚͕̪̩̭̺͉̖̘̮̭̲̝̓͐̓̒͊̈̅͜͝ͅͅd̵̢̧͔̗̮̮͚͓͇̖̮̝̦̔͋̐͊̈͜͜l̸̡̢̧̨͓̫̗̗̰̖̞̣̩̬̠͉̦͔͇̥̣̻̯̯̦̪̥͕̲̖̱̼̖̼̲̟̭̤̮͍̫̰̙̝̣͓͉͖̜̻̝͍̹͈͎̯̀̆̅́̌̂̅̏̿̽̈́͛̓̀̈̏͌́̍͜͜͠͠ͅę̷̨̨͎̣̬͕̪̠̦̲̳̦̼͚̩̦̤̰͚̰̯͉̞͙̟̺͙̐͗̃͐̽͒͂̉̑̆̎̃̿͆̑̾̍̀̆̅̌͝ͅͅ x Male reader part 3

TW: Stalking, mentions of blood, broken glass, horror themes, insanity.

You chose... Run. It's not safe here.

This action may have consequences.

Instantly, at the sound of the shatter, you jolted up from your position. Should you run? Or should you try to find Riddle?

Your instincts are telling you to run, and you do just that, your first thought for a quick escape was the mirror you entered through, not thinking twice about it. Unfortunately, nothing is ever easy, and you find the mirror that was shattered was the one that would have guaranteed your escape. How it broke? Some sort of impact. A strong impact, like a hammer. But there was no hammer in sight. You figured you should be continuing to run, but it wouldn't hurt you to investigate a little bit. The glass was no doubt broken by a tool, as there was a round, circular dent where the source of the impact hit, most likely a hammer.

You kneel down and pick up one of the larger pieces of glass, being careful not to cut yourself. The sharp looking edge was no doubt as sharp as it looked. Perhaps this could be used for self defense if paired with the right materials, so you store it away for durastic measures.

You suddenly hear another noise, coming from the bushes, it sounded nearby, but luckily not too close for comfort, but it enabled your flight response. Your ears told you the sound came from the right, so your main options were to head for the building, or go left to try to lose whatever could chase you. You figured, that if you entered the building, it may be easier for a persuer to catch you because of the winding halls of the dorm, but there would be more beneficial hiding places, like closets, underneath beds, etc. but the rose maze to the left is vast, and more winding than the halls of the building, if you navigated them right, the persuer could lose your trail, but there are less possible hiding spaces, besides hiding in the bushes, but at the same time... this possible persuer could be a Heartslabyul student, who knows the layout like none other, if so, you may be screwed.

Though, it may be possible to do both. You could lose the persuer in the rose maze, then flee for the building, but that would need futher strategy. Or you could try to contact a friend to come and save you. Ugh... if only someone else were here with you besides whatever lurks within the confines of the Heartslabyul dorm with you at the moment, it could attack you at anytime, so think fast, Ramshackle prefect.

4 options, please chose wisely.

> Enter the left-most rose maze, I'm a fast runner, I can get away easily.

> Head for the building. Hiding and Stealth is my specialty.

> Strategize. A bit of both never hurt no one, its do or die, now or never.

> Try to contact someone. I want out. ASAP.

^^^^^^^

(An optional additional choice that you can preform during the other 3 choices, but you can try to just stand there and call someone, but spoiler alert! thats probably not the best idea...)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

4 Options this time! Choose wisely~ Poll for these options will be posted soon!

Also, remember the glass piece you picked up? certain places can help you to find more materials to assist in self defense! Weapons are a key thing when it comes to survival against the "unknown", am I right? hehehe....

tbh I'm actually kinda starting to scare myself with this...? I may or may not have nightmares of Riddle with the face of a monster from a horror movie chasing me while on all 4s like a spider tonight... /j

Hope y'all don't get that image stuck in your heads

Sorry if I give you nightmares with that description-

#riddle rosehearts x male reader #twisted wonderland #disney twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere riddle rosehearts #yandere riddle #yandere twst #yandere #yandere series #yandere riddle x male reader #yandere riddle x reader #yandere riddle x yuu #twst yandere #Yandere riddle x mc #horror

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mannatea · 2 days ago

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part 3

I just did ch10 today, got busy with other things and all that.

Anyway, I love the prologue with Lyn. I think it does a great job of giving us a small, likable cast of characters. "Lyndis's Legion" is truly a wonderful time. Honestly, I could have played a whole expanded version of the prologue with just this cast tbh! But that's what fanfic is for.

(Anyone else remember the >9,000 novelizations out there?)

Sain has the best Lundgren conversation tbh. Kent is immediately angry and ready to murder (and so is Lyn), but Sain messes with him a bit first, which I enjoy. Sain is a good friend. <3

Lundgren is literally just the worst guy imaginable.

Like even his death rattle is him being a racist piece of shit. Please leave Lyn alone. I think it's interesting that he's a general though, and that's something I don't recall many people ever calling attention to.

Like dang. There's an implication here that he leads part of Caelin's military directly; this explains very simply why so many soldiers unquestioningly followed him...and how he knew enough about Eagler to keep him under his thumb. (I wonder if Eagler was protecting Reissmann? Like, what if. Just kidding...unless...?)

ANYWAY

I got a little emotional at Lyn's reunion with Hausen SHUT UP I KNOW I'M CRINGE. It's a story beat that just works well for me. She was all alone in the world and now she has a grandfather and all these friends. Also I love that even though he knows his daughter eloped for love, that he never had any real closure about her life. There's something really touching about him finding peace not by just meeting Lyn, but by learning that his daughter had a good and happy, loving life, even though he wasn't part of it.

(Me, thinking casually of the rp I did where Lyn gets poisoned in the post-game after Hausen's death) Yyyeah how did that work out for you, Lyn? (/kicks it under a table)

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP DOES HE EVER GET TO GO?? DOES SHE EVER GET TO TAKE HIM? I can't believe I never tied this into any "Hausen Dies" story? I've failed as a longtime Lyn enjoyer.

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I'M SORRY LYN HE WON'T HAVE THAT!!!!

ahem

It's interesting that Lyn only says she intends to stay until her grandfather is well again; there's no discussion here of inheritance and I like that. I do feel like that pressure is still likely to fall on her to inherit (and the fact that she tries to learn manners/etiquette points toward it) but I think it's nice that it at least doesn't really...start out that way?

It also makes me wonder something... I know in a lot of Kent/Lyn fics there's a discussion about her returning to the plains (reasonable, this should be discussed) but in their A Support he does say two things that are interesting. "If I let go your hand now, I would regret it for the rest of my life" + "I am here for you. Even were I not a knight, even were you not my lady."

With the prologue a little more firmly in mind now, where she's been clear more than once that she doesn't want the actual title/doesn't wish to rule Caelin, I wonder if Kent says these things specifically because he knows she does not intend to stay and therefore doesn't want to lose a good chance to confess his feelings for her (in the most Kentlike way possible, of course).

Like, for him to say he gladly does everything for her and that even if (when?) their situation changes it will not change his heart is so gently romantic for a guy who supposedly isn't great at talking to women. Like obviously I'll talk about their supports soon (I will get them asap obvs) but in the context of him being very aware that she will not stay to rule Caelin...this confession feels much, much more intentionally trying to hit on things she needs to hear. Hence, her, "Stay by my side always": she understands what he means.

I could definitely be reading too much into it, but that's an interesting angle to their supports and the context of the prologue (where he also said he would follow her anywhere) that I hadn't thought of before.

It's especially interesting in context of most Kent/Lyn fics anyway, where her ruling Caelin (or having to abdicate) is always this really big obstacle Lyn has to overcome...because obviously telling Kent that she doesn't intend to stay after his love has been confessed is awkward. And like, I fully believe they should still have that conversation...but it's neat to think that he might not actually be in the dark about it—that he confessed this to her specifically knowing that if she chose to leave he would go with her.

Of course, blindsiding him with the knowledge creates a lot of tension and drama, and that's always fun, and there's probably something good, too, about Lyn having to get up the courage to have that conversation with him anyway (because apparently when she's anxious about emotion she gets weirdly avoidant and shy about it LOL)...but I could see this being less of a big deal if a writer wanted it to be.

(Also it's funny how all of their supports begin basically the same way: with him saying her name and then her saying his.)

Anyway, I love how so many people end up staying in Caelin with Lyn and how happy Sain and Kent are to have her there. And that Kent canonically teaches Wil manners so that he fits in more is soooo sweet UGHHH I LOVE THESE GUYS. I think they're half the reason post-game Lyn fics are so much fun. Lyn, Florina, Kent, Sain, Wil? Dream Team. And also how pumped up Florina is to train and get better!! I just love all these fellas.

I'm gonna play more tomorrow hopefully. <3 Sorry in advance for the 500 posts that might pop up!

#manna plays fe7

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museum-spaces · 1 year ago

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Hey nerds,

I am queuing this up to post at a normal time as it is getting quite late here in Camel Town.

I have some pretty big news. I will be leaving Camel Town asap - at least a month but hopefully not much more than that. Y'all know that I find Camel town... frustrating to put it mildly. Well I have managed to get pretty much all the way through the process of becoming an Executive Director for a museum in Vancouver. It is still a small community museum, not anything like the Museum of Anthropology or anything like that, but they want me. And I want to be in Vancouver.

I had 4 [3.5] interviews with them, they are now checking my references and I just got the ball rolling on a police background check. I found a place for Ianto and I to live and its basically around the corner from where my brother lives and works.

Obviously, I could still not get the job. BUT I was told that I am the only candidate they are running a background check on or whose references are being spoken to so far.

The 'ideal' start date is 24 June 2023, but they recognize that that is very soon so are flexible on that front. They also want a long term employee. If it works out to be a better working environment I might stay but I wouldn't hold my breath. I have come to realize that museums and I do not mesh well since 2020 and I am prepared to move on once I have a place to land.

That's part of why being in Vancouver is such a blessing; I will be more able to enrol in a few classes a semester at UBC or SFU. SFU actually has a campus within.... a bit of a hike... of the museum.

Camel Town is a hard place to live for me. I have some really good friends who love it to death - they just got chickens. He wanted 2, they got 12 lol. But I need the city. Even if I have to go back to wearing ear plugs 24/7 the ability to get around will be life changing. Also fewer deer. And proximity to Ocean.

Ianto and I are also on the waitlist for a 'little' sibling for him. More details of that to come.

So, yeah.

Big changes coming for me.

I don't know where Ianto and I will end up, but I am looking forward to finding out.

Also, I have been having serious thoughts about deleting this blog. Given how museums are tied intrinsically to my mental well being, it may not be healthy for me to maintain this blog in the long run. I will let you lovely nerds know with lots of advanced warning and shepherd you as best I can to other museum-y blogs. But just wanted to give you a heads up.

The deactivation of the blog would probably happen if/when I leave the sector. But there is a chance that I will need to step back again like in 2021.

Its something that has been cooking in the back of my mind for a long time. Most of my time in Camel Town tbh. It just took me until about 2 weeks ago to verbalize it... or whatever you'd call having a realization via tumblr messenger with a friend. Some day I might share the art I made to help me work through the amorphous emotions... Probably not though. soz.

#museum #museums #accessibility #actually autistic #job hunt #museum spaces #blog future #blog maintenance

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gtafest · 2 years ago

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GTA Valentine's Day Secret Art Exchange

Is that title way too long? Absolutely. Do I care? Absolutely not.

There was some interest in Valentine's Day event, so here it is! The difference to Secret Santa is that this time the focus is on romance and love instead of Christmas. And, the bigger change: nsfw gifts between adults will be allowed due to popular demand. This is why the form asks your age and is a bit different in other ways too.

Here's the drill:

We do art trade as an exchange between artists and writers who create fics/fan arts/graphics/etc for one another as a gift. Secret means that you can’t tell anyone what you are working on until it’s time to post your work. You make a gift and get a gift.

This event is for all GTA games despite the name of the blog. You can ask for gifts about any GTA games or even your original characters, but make sure the prompt is very clear on what you want. Leaving many different kinds of prompts is preferable! The mod will do their best to match up everyone so that there is representation for as many games as possible.

The theme is love and romance, but you can also leave other kinds of prompts if you want. Platonic love definitely counts! This is a good time for all your fluffy, romantic, soft, cute, or sexy prompts. Themes so heavy that they could make people uncomfortable are not allowed. Always ask if you’re unsure! You will be contacted if there’s a problem with the matchmaking or your prompts, so be sure to leave the correct information on your social medias.

You can join by filling in this form. It will only be available until January 10, so be quick! By the end of next week, you will receive the information about the person you’re going to gift your work. Then you will have until Valentine's Day to work on your gift.

The moderator will ask you for progress a couple of times before the deadline to make sure that everyone gets their gift. If there are any problems and you can’t participate any longer, contact the mod ASAP and be honest. We've had a few issues with this before, and I hope it won't repeat again. If you're unsure if you can partake in this exchange, think twice before signing up.

That’s about it! Feel free to reblog this post (my tagging system is lacking tbh) and hopefully, we get a lot of participants!

Mod: @nevergonnasimpyoumikey

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saintsupertramp · 2 years ago

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this is a prompt. give us the nancy tea (re that steddie/buckingham post)

soooo glad you asked I’ve been waiting for this one.

ALSO!! gonna preface this by saying nancy is a teenage girl and we all know how the world loves to shit on them for just being teen girls so I will say when it comes to stuff like her being slut shamed in S1 or the newspaper guys in S3 I would kill and maim for her just so we’re clear. n e ways…

I lowkey highkey think nancy sucks because I feel like she doesn’t treat the people in her life as well as she should, especially steve and jonathan. In S1 she ditches barb a lot to hang out with steve and obviously that goes to shit and she feels bad about it because that’s such a horrible thing to happen but I feel like if it didn’t happen that way she wouldn’t have learned? (I haven’t watched S1/2 in a while so bear with me) Then in S2 I think the way she treats steve is really shitty and yeah he is a dick at times but he’s doing his best and he’s had some redemption since S1 and is genuinely trying to be a good guy. like nance did not have to call him bullshit and let her resentment towards him build without saying anything to him and then immediately get with jonathan asap (not to mention jon was taking weird photos of her in S1???) not to mention that it’s all placed on STEVE to get over her and be ok with her doing whatever she wants because she’s already over him. am I projecting erm maybe moving on.

I don’t like how when she’s with jonathan it feels like she starts to not care about him either and we can see that especially in S4 (what is it with the wheeler siblings and kinda not treating their partners well) and we can tell jon is really fucked up about it when he’s always been pretty nice to nance (I do think he should’ve talked to her about it but yknow). the way she treats robin in S4 doesn’t sit right with me and now we’re getting to the meat of ronance because she doesn’t seem to like robin all that much like she doesn’t really pay attention to her and she seems to dislike robin not in a compelling clashing personalities way but (it feels like to me) in a not liking robin as a person way. i don’t feel a spark between them I sense no chemistry tbh. robin seems to like her but in a friendly way and even then she’s heard about how nancy treated steve and I don’t think she would get with his ex. (the S4 stancy revival is a whole other can of worms that I hate)

also in general I just don’t like nancys character hfkshdj she is not compelling to me personally so take all this with a grain of salt I’m not saying everyone should dislike her I’m just saying I think she gets too much hype and the Fruity Fourification of S4 is unfortunate. I don’t think people should make nancy a villain/antagonist especially in order to get steddie together because like??? what the hell is that all about?? but I will say that I don’t think nancy has learned anything about how she treats people and it feels crazy to say that the series has been too lenient on her considering everything she goes through but in terms of interpersonal relations I feel like she hasn’t grown that much and she needs to.

if anyone wants even more elaboration lmk I could talk about this for days

#ask #stranger things #my post #sorry this is long as hell good grief #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #robin buckley #steddie #ronance #spreading the soft anti-nancy agenda

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padme-amidala · 2 years ago

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hi! i love your gifs they're really beautiful! i was wondering if you have any tips/tutorials about advanced gifmaking. ie. typography, blending, etc. also how to find ideas about things to make. (i'm also finnish btw, it's nice to see other finns here!)

hii jen! i’m so sorry i know you sent this ages ago i’m the worst asdsgdgf. but thank youu!! <3 i can definitely give some tips! i’ll list some under the cut in case it gets long lol.

COMING UP WITH IDEAS: - soo i think i do a lot of sets with quotes and lyrics. tbh i’m not really sure how i usually come up with them, they just hit me i guess. :D and honestly i don't think i'm the kind of gifmaker that comes up with exciting new things lol. but here are things i sometimes do! - i have pinterest boards with nice quotes and lyrics i come across. if i have no inspiration i’ll just go through the boards. tumblr also has some nice poetry! - listen to other people’s playlist for characters/shows/ships on spotify.

TYPOGRAPHY: - i just posted some of my favorite fonts here! - for me the biggest thing is making it easily readable!! so no plain (small) white text on even nearly white backgrounds. - i like adding boxes under my text if i feel like it doesn’t pop enough. if the typography is not super intricate i’ll use different blending modes (usually screen, difference, darken) and gradient/color overlays. - drop shadows also help. i use white drop shadows soo much but colorful ones are super nice too especially if the color of the text is more neutral. - i loove using the difference blending mode with gradient or color overlays (as you can probably tell lol it's like all i do). play with different blending modes on the overlays too. the ones i use the most are color and linear light. - typography doesn’t necessarily have to match in every gif!! i feel like i forget this too often but some variation often makes it more interesting imo.

BLENDING: i recently explained a little bit about my blending process here! i can’t really think of anything to add right now.

COLORING: - levels, selective color and color balance are your best friends! - the first thing i do is add levels and curves. i don’t do anything that special with them, just add contrast and brightness. - if the scene is super dark you could also try adding a brightness/contrast adjustment layer and then setting the blending mode to screen. then just adjust the opacity to your liking. - i usually start coloring by upping the vibrance a little bit, then using color balance to make the highlights cooler (or in case of a blue tinted scene i’ll add warmth). - from there it varies a lot depending on the coloring i want to do. usually i’ll add a black and white gradient map with the blending mode soft light. then i drop the opacity to 10-25% depending on the gif. it makes the blacks deeper and gives a soft contrast that i think looks nice. - if the gif has little movement i’ll add a gradient or a solid color to a new empty layer and use the eraser tool to delete the color from faces and everywhere i don't want it. just make the blending mode overlay or color (others could work too) and you have a nicely colored background! - or you could use the brush tool to paint on the layer too.

i’m sure i forgot hings but if you want me to explain something in more detail just let me know, i’d be happy to help!! AND i’ll try to answer asap. again, i’m so sorry about that. i really hope this helped though :))

#ask #ps*

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indomitableblackdragon · 7 months ago

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3 free choice for munday~

Munday Asks (You shouldn't have :3)

8. did you have a muse you tried to play, but didn’t feel connected to?

oddly enough a lot of Fate & FE characters? For two series I like a lot there's plenty of characters I've tried from it that just didn't stick. Part of it might be just certain extremes muses have (Too nice or way too much of an asshole/evil person) but sometimes its just right and I sit there like "eh".

An example of recent memory was Elincia from Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn. Arguably one of my favorites that came out of Tellius and in the series tbh but her demeanor and how she presents itself just didn't click with me at all. And if I can't get that down then I usually just drop them and say I at least tried.

16. what’s the best way to approach you to start playing together?

this doesn't apply to just NJ but usually starter call likes or just DM me. Sometimes I feel a desire to plot out long lasting relationships but if you really wanted to get into the thick of things with anyone I write I (Usually) post an ad at the start of the month. And the mentality I have with new interactions is often "fuck it we ball". Alternatively if you do prefer DM's and stuff like that I don't bite I promise. I might not get back to you ASAP but that's because my ADHD is a bitch not anything against you or your muse!

29. what are your honest thought about your muse’s canon?

I'ma keep it 900% real with you chief I started this game because it was the definition of "Hot Singles In Your Area!: The Game!" only there were boats. I didn't expect anything beyond a game I can turn my mind off too and collect jpgs. Instead I got....an actually somewhat decent story and kinda middling game play. Is it a game I can recommend to everyone? No because I don't need you worrying about opening your phone to someone's ass by accident. But goddamn they got me good and you too might find someone you can obsess over and then have to explain they are a historical ship personified.

This also kinda applies to every gacha that's plagued my phone. Like If you asked me about my other muses too (Especially Mika and BA holy SHIT) I could write an entire essay to you but I will save you the hassle of that unless you really want to hear it. Basically the tl:dr

#hollowfaith #answered!

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 11 months ago

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Question, why're you so hateful towards any and all things that has happened with persona games post p5?

What is the problem with p3reload? I literally cannot find any problems well apart from the well worn down complaints of the lack of femc and answer.

If this is about the Ken post, I think it's fair I'm a bit miffed that (SEA) Atlus posted that. TT0TT Otherwise, I'm going to be assuming this is just a reaction of seeing my other posts. XD

Now....hateful? P5.....most likely, I mean I went from loving it to....well... I felt betrayed (I've gone into my issues with P5 time and time again on this blog tbh TT0TT If you want more specifics I'll can go into it again but not atm for this post to save time ;w;). All in all P5 broke my sanity, I used to be very excited for it, but it turned sour when I actually saw how.....much it sucked.

P3 is salt. I'm pissy. I'm just angry at the choices made. It's something I love that's just.....it just has so many issues tied to it now (I do like some stuff, I do like the new singers voice BUT I hope they allow us to play OG tracks, but that goes for any remaster/remake). This broke me into going villain era ("you aren't making those posts anymore silly" I know I have other stuff outside the internet sadly ;w; orz if I wasn't wiped every day I would be showing my distain on every Atlus post but alas I can't I must pick and choose my battles and if it means bitching on here I'll at least take that orz)

Tbf to P5, I love Kamo's arc. I'll always stand by that. After that it gets complicated.

Spinoffs in general I really just don't like the......non direction the P5 spinoffs have had compared to P4. Arena/Q1/Ultimax were like a mini narrative. P4D was a send off. P5's are....aimless. But that's not hateful, that's just frustration with the direction. (I'm thinking it's cause the team got restructured so.....random events go I guess it's whatever). Like as burned out of P4 as people were for the P4 spinoffs (a bit unfair since 3/4ths were also P3 spinoffs TT0TT), they had some great writing highlights in the franchise and were released in a very natural way. (and the hype of announcing 3 games alongside P5's teaser? Oh god that was fun!)

P3/5D I'm.....very upset with how Atlus handled it. It's price gouging (wanting $60 for each game SEPARATELY), lacking content compared to the previous game P4D (less story and less songs, again P3/5D are counted as two separate games), and horrible timing. The latter is that....P3 didn't have a modern console for people to play on. Atlus screwed P3D over. They should've used this opportunity to funnel the new P5 fanbase into the older games, but instead of focusing on porting P3/P4 over ASAP within that year (which would come to hurt the next game), they pushed for P3/5D instead and didn't give it a fighting chance. Now P5D is screwed in a way that....P5D didn't have the best song selection, like P3/4 could pull from MULTIPLE games and animes, P5 only had P5 and an anime airing. P5D should've happened later, maybe as a send off like with P4. TT0TT (I think timing for P3/5D right now would've been great, considering it feels like we're ending the P5 era and P3R is coming out. I'm hoping they port P3/5D or give us a sequel/remake now would be the BEST time).

PQ2 I'm upset because the lore and how things work are fundamentally fucked over (only a minority may care or notice but it's there TT0TT), like it literally was "P5 broke me 2, electric boogaloo". And I hate how P5 focus it is....esp when I don't think they do much with the story that's meaningful. Love it has FeMC in it (one of the best highlights), love that Yosuke/Teddie are finally written closer to their original game counter parts (outside P4D). Sad that it feels like they game constantly licks P5's boot for some reason (it feels very one sided compared to the equal praise P3/4 did in it's era). I don't mind Hikari but I'm kinda......eh on the PQ2 story as a whole. Was excited to see Climax Theater again only for it to be....eh. The worlds felt eh compared to PQ1. It just felt like an all around downgrade in story compared to PQ1 (it def has better characterization, tho I want to attribute some of PQ1's flanderization to the translators, also to PQ1's benefit.....flanderizing was to help give all the cast members screen time, which PQ2 doesn't do well). I hate that FeMC and P3MC barely interact even tho that was a big freaking advertising point. TT0TT The cast is too bloated, I like to say PQ2 would be better without P5 (it would), but really we need to cut a team. If they wanna keep the FeMC/P3MC plot line then we gotta cut either P4 or P5 (if we gotta change some story/setting I'm fine with that too). Hell, I'm fine with a PQ2 game with just P4/5 and no P3. But the game is just too bloated atm. TT0TT Also Atlus screwed this one too, 1) by not having P3/4 ports available yet, but also 2) putting it on a dead console. orz they really had no fighting chances.

P5R it's.....unnecessary tbh. I like the 3rd semester, but Sumi/Maruki would've been better suited for a spinoff game. One were we could just focus on them and not have to slog through a game that barely anything changed. Also really? 3 years? And we need an updated release? AND IT'S NOT DLC??? Fuck, at least FES The Answer you had an option to get the updated version or buy the Answer itself at a lower price (basically the PS2 ver of DLC). And at least the portable ports of P1-4 were on a different console. P5R is doing this ON THE SAME DAMN CONSOLE. It's BS. Feels like a cash grab like P3/5D were. (I probs prefer vanilla more than Royal tbh, even tho I love Sumi and like Maruki).

P5S......I just....thought it was bad. Felt hollow, like not enough social stuff and too much focused only on gameplay (aka not enough balance, if you ignore the gameplay you're left with.....not a lot). There's issues with characterizations at time (not that P5 was consistent to begin with but still). Like P5 I'm fine with the premise of the story, I hate the execution. While playing I was like "Wow this game doesn't understand P5....I feel sorry for P5!" I was appalled at how they handled some of the villains. Gameplay is fine, just wish there was more to do outside the gameplay. Annoying P5R couldn't be more involved in this (timing is just all over the place with these games wtf atlus??? TT0TT), it lacking P5R isn't a break it for me I just find it to be VERY odd. Esp since they released it after P5R???? At organize it like you did with Arena and P4G, it'd be less strange. TT0TT

P5 anime fucked up Kamo's dungeon didn't want to touch it after that. I don't think I'm in the minority of people not liking the anime.

P5 manga, need to catch back up but I didn't mind the first two dungeons. Liked the new additions. I'm probs in the minority.

P5MM manga: it's ok. Love the artist. Story started off strong but ended up kinda meh at the end.

P5 Daybreakers OVA: I like it a lot. Wish we had more like it.

P5T: Nothing against it atm actually. TT0TT I'm liking the pink villain so far (so far she's being handled better than Alice! YAY!). I really like the new spinoff only chars of this game so far (I'm neutral/positive leaning on the other's but I don't LOVE them). Atlus' statements on the timeline of this game is confusing, and if it IS non-canon to the main timeline I find it very shitty of them to only say that AFTER people have bought the game. ;w; Other than that...uhhh DLC is my only other issue (which I haven't brought up a lot, barring P5S, and on the lower end of PQ1/2, DLC has been ASS with the P5 era games. Like P4D DLC was ass too ;w; And Arena/Ult/Q1 weren't great either, so it didn't start with P5, but it got worse with P5). It's not the WORST DLC practice they've done, but it's still not great. DX

P5X: Nothing to say here, we vibbing. Like what I see so far. Sad it's a gatcha but que sera sera I guess. Probs my fav overall P5 spinoff so far.

P3P/P4G ports: Eh audio this, AI background that. I'm just happy these mfers are finally ported. TT0TT Now do it again with P1/2!

Ultimax Port: Just happy it's ported tbh. Shame they couldn't add a new route (since this game's writing needed a bit more ironing out).

Now P3R.........I think people being upset about the lack of FeMC/Answer is completely valid and talked about for a good reason. Hear me out! A big reason me and a lot of other people have been clamoring for a P3 remake is because we wanted to FINALLY have a complete version of P3. Both Journeys and AT LEAST one Answer (two would be great, but the bar is in the GROUND right now, we're asking for the BARE MIN TT0TT). Then P3R is released and............nope we get another non complete version of P3. It's not just FeMC/Answer fans who are upset. It's the fact we can't have it all in one STILL. And it's not just "one complete game" It's about "One complete story" we lack being able to experience the full story of P3. ;w; *spoilers for key elements of the Answer below* (I just want all three journeys to be treated with respect, but Atlus cutting the FeMC and Aigis journeys....it just puts a bad taste in my mouth and causes issues in the fandom).

(hell the manga, movies, and stage plays NEVER made an Answer adaptation, and the manga/movies never pulled a P4tGA for FeMC either! If they were upset with how they first made The Answer they could always rewrite it at this point and keep the key elements which spoiler: Wild Card Aigis, Metis appears, Erebus fight, Liz leaves, and everyone grieving and then finding out the reason behind the Seal. Like I'm pissy as a FeMC fan first and foremost, but I'm very upset as a Metis fan about the lack of Metising I get to see TT0TT)

I also don't like the look, I hate the lighting and the new art style (I got into Persona cause of Soejima's art style tbh, so I'm vibbing more with ReFan and P5X) and (esp) models (I could overlook the art style if I didn't hate how the models look so much). They look plastic, the heads are overly round and it throws me off (like how Anne's head portrait go more circle in P5R compared to P5 vanilla/P5S), and their....facial features....it's probs cause I'm used to Soejima....but something abt them feels off like they're smooshed. I dunno. The environments outside Tartarus looks like shit with the shitty lighting. "Oh it's just the lighting" well it keeps taking me out of it along with everyone's plastic looking helmet hair.

I'm not the biggest fan of some of the UI. (did I ever finish that post? I don't think I did sigh I gotta dig it up if I didn't TT0TT).

I'm sad about certain gameplay changes (lack of tired system esp, but lack of splitting up and such as well). It was a big identity to P3 that I loved and it being gone now is.....sad ;w;

I'm happy about other gameplay changes (and aspects I've had on my wishlist have come true, such as expanding on P3MC's friendships w/male chars in these new eps or even expanding on Strega). But what I'm happy with so far is mostly the social gameplay additions/changes, not so much some of the combat/exploration changes.

I don't really care about the voice changes for the english version. I know other people are but I'm eh. I'm sad we're missing Yumi and have a new singer. I like the new singer, tho I'm eh on some of the covers (as long as we get the OG tracks to swap to I'm gucci, but I'm good regardless). Only issue with the new singer is they......hired ANOTHER new person??? I feel a bit bad for Mayumi (FeMC singer) and Shuhei (PTS, anime sequel to P3, and P3P op singer) who were already tied to P3 and were passed up on....ngl I would've loved more Shuhei. TT0TT Really drive the male vs female. Just....why did they pass up on them? Esp Shuhei? TT0TT

But I'd be able to overlook all these little things I hate about it......if they would JUST GIVE ME A COMPLETE VERSION OF P3. If they just gave me FeMC and Metis, I'd accept all the other stuff.

That being said, again I don't want to be gouged by DLC a fucking again. Which I fear is what WILL happen to FeMC/Answer...... but gd I'll choose the devil I like more and I'll take. I'll hate it but I'll freaking take it. But considering Atlus LOVES showing off day one DLC, and not a peep of FeMC/Answer anywhere....I'm feeling like we aren't going to get that even. orz.

And I know there's a tired counter "But that's extra work!" well consider this:

There's already a complete script (story wise, and planning wise)! P3R is working off an existing script, sure they've added stuff and tweaked other stuff, but it's not like they had to start from scratch. Same goes with FeMC/Answer, they have a baseline. They have assets they can work off of. (translators and new Eng VAs besides that)

Atlus already copied and pasted A LOT of the male events into the FeMC. Like the main story is nearly identical (maybe 20% has differences?) 14/22 SLs share the same people, with only 1 really being completely rewritten and the rest being nearly exactly the same outside a handful of dialogue. Music wise there's only 6 song differences and 1 additional new song. (tldr; they could totes be lazy and just copy and paste with slight differences I'll take it, small changes can still go a long way and it's something rather than nothing).

(related to point 2 but looping Answer in now) The dungeon and story beats are the same between male/female. So gameplay structure is the same. Answer's dungeon and areas is basically a copy and past assets (with some recolor) as well.

Atlus is a big boy studio, they aren't in financial straits like in the P4 era, they have big daddy Sega to help them. They can handle it. And it's been in development for a while, I'd rather they delay it and give me an actual full version like people voted for. (And yes, the votes included P3/FES/P when asked, not just P3 vanilla or male).

#silly asks #silly answers #persona salt

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amaltheatarot · 1 year ago

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All sign reads quick to the point messages. If y’all want some clarity on these messages hmu and I’ll try my best to help you out! Thank you to everyone who has liked my posts I appreciate you all so much💜💜💜💜

Aries ♈️ : DEATH, KNIGHT OF WANDS REVERSED. You need to release some situation that you thought was gonna progress but hasn’t. They’re not worth it yes I’m talking about that air or fire sign on your mind. That’s all I’m gonna say bc that’s all you need to hear.

Taurus ♉️ : WORLD REVERSED, THREE OF WANDS REVERSED, definitely more delays and disappointments you may even be having discomfort within a friend group. There’s a cycle ready to be completed here but are you gonna complete it or keep holding on? Because I think you’re HOLDING ON TO SOME BULLSHIT

Gemini ♊️ : EIGHT OF PENTACLES, SIX OF PENTACLES REVERSED, okay first of all if you’re dealing with a person there’s no equal give and take within this relationship I’m sorry to be the bitch to tell you but it’s true bookie. The bright side is I see another person trynna come through with a stable foundation to grow a relationship or a possible family AYE FINALLY NOT SOMETHIN DEPRESSING!

Cancer ♋️ : EMPEROR, SEVEN OF CUPS, damn cancer you’ve been looking good as hell to some people I think you’re the new favorite flavor people are starting to notice. Maybe you should make some moves, be bold for a chnage! Try and stay as balanced as possible and use your intuition; it will tell you when to cut bitches off or keep them in your life.

Leo ♌️ : Okay Leo now why do you have the Lovers upright and the Two of cups reversed. Are these two different people? Maybe. You may have to make a decision about someone is what I’m getting but lemme clarify if this is one person or two different people. This is ONE PERSON WHAT? Okay I guess this person is indecisive I guess bc wtf. Idek what to think of this tbh I guess it could go either way?

Virgo ♍️ : SIX OF WANDS AND PAGE OF SWORDS REVERSED. Somebody is stalking you and maybe talkin some shit OOOOOP but the talkin shit is maybe talking about someone within a group of people maybe an outsider telling your person some lies about you. But with the six of wands I don’t think your person cares I see y’all as a power couple honestly, someone who matches your energy. If this hasn’t happened yet you’re about to feel some victory.

Libra ♎️ : THE CHARIOT AND ACE OF WANDS REVERSED. Contradicting ass bitch is what I smell in the air. Some bitch wants to race towards you but they stop themselves wtf??? I think they’re scared because you intimidate them Libra. But maybe this is you being hesitant towards a person. I say you should give them a chance and see what happens but ONE WRONG MOVE YOU CUT THAT BITCH OFF.

Scorpio ♏️ : QUEEN OF WANDS AND PAGE OF WANDS REVERSED. Okay this unreliable ass earth or fire sign can kiss my ass. This is a CHILD LITERALLY A CHILD and no one likes babysitting when it comes to love. I also feel like they make you feel unworthy which pisses me off bc you’re a QUEEN and they’re a PAGE. Make it make sense, you need to cut this bitch off asap.

Sagittarius ♐️ : EIGHT OF SWORDS UPRIGHT AND KNIGHT OF PENTACLES REVERSED, I think you’re feeling trapped as hell in a relationship. I think you’re scared to walk away maybe bc this person has scared you into submission. I honestly think you need to leave this person but before you do confront their ass and call them out on their bullshit. You deserve respect and the truth.

Capricorn ♑️ : FIVE OF CUPS UPRIGHT AND NINE OF CUPS REVERSED. I feel like you’re feeling a lot of grief and disappointment from a situation a wish that you really wanted to happen turned out to be someone that it’s not. I’m sorry Capricorn but I think you’ve been dealing with an arrogant ass bitch that doesn’t deserve your time. Allow yourself to grieve, there’s always hope remember this.

Aquarius ♒️ : KNIGHT OF WANDS REVERSED. THREE OF WANDS. Okay okay okay you’ve maybe met someone recently through a group of friends or you’re going to. MOVE YOUR ASS AND PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. I see some travels maybe coming up but let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Why do you doubt yourself? Just because there’s bumps in the road sometimes doesn’t mean that the road isn’t drivable. If you’re dealing with delays these are happening for a reason.

Pisces ♓️ : THE SUN REVERSED. FOUR IF SWORDS REVERSED. Sometimes it’s a hard thing to deal with when things are changing and shifting. I think you’ve been struggling with pessimism and confusion but it’s okay everything will happen when it needs to happen. I also see that you make someone restless, someone thinks about you hella at night. I think this person is a slow mover but I think they have alright intentions. I say give them a chance!

#tarot community #tarot reading #daily tarot #tarotblr #tarot deck #oracle #tarot witch #happy halloweeeeeeen

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elviratheepic · 1 year ago

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Idk if I'll stick with this, but I've been in hospital for over a week now and I can feel my brain turning to mush, so I'm thinking it might be good to post like a journal thingy here. I can just throw my thoughts to the void and if anyone feels like throwing any thoughts back at me, maybe I'll reminded what human interaction is lol

And who knows, maybe some bits and pieces of my experiences rn might be handy to someone who ends up seeing it. This is a weird time for me, maybe someone else around here's having, has had or will have some similar weird times and we'll have made a little connection even if we don't speak :)

I mentioned it briefly in a post on my art blog, but to flesh it out a bit, I've been generally run down and really quite unwell like all summer and now into autumn. Been back and forth to the doctor, told I have chest infections, possible asthma, etc. I get booked in for an xray and then something looks weird so a ct scan, still thinking it's pneumonia with some odd symptoms, then a couple days later I get a call from my doctor telling me i am going to the hospital asap, there's a bunch of fluid in my chest that should not be there and also they need to check for lymphoma. I've never been to hospital for more than an orthodontist appointment and while not as surprised as I could be expected to be by the thought of cancer due to having had a weird anxiety fixation thing on the idea for a while (fun coincidence), it was still a bit of an ordeal lol. This was 10 days ago and I have not been home since. I've been coping pretty well considering the wild lack of control I feel over literally anything rn. The steroids they've got me on rn while I wait for further treatment have me feeling better than I have in a long while, and mentally the worst I've been dealing with is some fairly mild dissociation. Just kind of taking things as they come for now, rolling with things as best I can especially while so many things are kind of a bit up in the air and subject to change.

But I mean drama aside, the current diagnosis for me is pretty good. The cancer as it appears right now is treatable and has a pretty great cure rate. It's a "primary mediastinal large B-cell lymphoma" according to the leaflet I've got. It's high grade, so fast acting and aggressive but that actually makes these easier to get rid of than low grade slower working ones. It's hanging out next to my heart so that's the reason I've had all these bullshit symptoms in my chest cuz it's just been fuckin shit up in there and irritating its roommates. They've got me booked in for a pet scan day after tomorrow cuz the scanner was having issues so they couldn't get me in sooner, then the plan is to start chemotherapy the next day. Which will be an experience. The treatment plan we've basically already decided is 6 21-day cycles of chemo where I'll be in hospital for about 5 days getting monitored and adjusted treatment, then going home for the rest and coming back to start the cycle again. It's not going to be the most fun and easy experience of my life but tbh I've done hard things before and I know I'm capable of doing this. Not that this kind of thing can ever really come at a "good" time, but I think that personally I'm pretty lucky this came along at the point in my life it did. I've been able to spend the last couple years basically building myself back up from feeling entirely lost, shattered and directionless after a pretty traumatic attempt at university durring covid lockdowns. I'm maybe lacking in some life experience people my age tend to have, but ultimately I have confidence, strength and self-awareness now that I do not take for granted. Basically I got the chance to reinforce my foundations in unkowing preparation for this whole thing. Honestly, I'm kind of just curious who I'll be on the other side of this experience - wherever that may be.

My main concern has been my siblings. I'm the oldest of 3 and we're all very close, spend a lot of time together and are at the core of eachothers' support systems. One of them's got college stress and deadlines, the other's out of school with anxiety issues rn, and my instinct is to be there as a support. And of course they would be supporting me too, it's not all give, they're amazing at being there for me too especially while I've been unwell (I love them so so much and I'm proud of everything they do can you tell lol). But while they have been visiting when they can, we don't get so much time together rn with me being in hospital and I feel like it's hard to get a gauge on how things really are with eachother at the moment which is rough with there being so much change going on rn. I know we'll figure things out, but I can't help worrying about them a bit, I feel like it's kind of my job lol

Oof can you tell it's getting late and my brain's going sleepy ramble mode? Idk if I'm even making much sense but hey

The ward I've been moved to for this is good. It's a cancer ward for teens and young adults with a common room area funded by the teenage cancer trust. There's guitars, a ps4, craft supplies and free snacks. It feels so weird that like that space is for me to use, like I'm kinda tresspassing on something for people who need it more than I do. But the ward's fairly quiet and not so busy at the moment, so when my siblings and briefly my friend came to visit me today, we basically had free reign of the space without having to disturb anyone. I feel more comfortable in there than I did, and I think it's a good space for my siblings to be when they come visit. I'm really greatful they get to use it with me - even if I feel kind of like others deserve the space more (ik im being silly), seeing them get good use and some fun out of it today was good and reassuring. It's reassuring to hear people talking about there being support systems for siblings too should they need them. Especially when it feels like I can't look out for them so much in the ways I normally would.

But yeah, I think that's about all that's in my brain for right now. I'll look back on this tomorrow and realise none of this actually made any sense lol

But yeah basically got thrown a bit of a curveball lately as life tends to do, but there's answers now where there wasn't before, and the path ahead's starting to make itself visible. It sucks, but I've been worse. I'm not just saying that for the sake of offsetting the fact that it sucks, I'm just taking the the little wins where i can cuz I know that's gotten me through plenty rough and sucky times before.

Some little wins:

Woke up to magpies outside the window this morning. One came right up to the glass to say hi, but I couldn't snap a picture in time lol <3

My friend brought me a rainbow sensory slug companion, and I made a pipecleaner creature named Spigley while my siblings were here. They are friends and will be my chemo companions :)

(Idk if that's a mouth or a moustache but i think it suits him either way)

#elv talks #long post #chemo chronicles #i guess lol #cancer tw #hospital tw #ask to tag

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baekhvuns · 2 years ago

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Bestie I didn't even watch that Arsenal x Man City game, but London is still red, Arsenal is 1st 🤗 you shouldn't have laughed at me too much. Kane in Bayern? Lmao I mean you're right, he's not gonna get anything with Tottenham kqjsjajsjsjwjdhhwhwjw. Did Jongho go and see their game btw?

Aston Villa who hehehe. There are so many London clubs though it's crazy! That's why I have two fave clubs, one that gives me joy (though not recently) pretty often and another which is 📈📉📈📉 😭 best believe I was in shambles when Arsenal and Madrid played together. Maybe it's good Arsenal is out ot CL. Yeah Liverpool sadly...💀 I like Man Utd too, never cared for City and never will jsjajshsjissbaahhshsje

Omfg you're right Hwa at the pop up was giving model, brand ambassador 😭

That selfie sign?! Kpop stans can't be normal. Also how do some people have the time to watermark and post their stuff during the concert?! Have some fun??? Unless it's the serial concert goers, they don't care anymore, just need some clout on the bird app

LSM created SM and he might destroy it now with all the lawsuits, I mean... fair tbh, except he needs to be in jail 🔫 not to mention Kakao is at the scene of the crime as well, guess they're a better option than Hybe tho. The fucking video they released??? This is war for real

I'm so sorry Baek idk why artists are allergic to Vancouver? When I saw Tamino's Canada dates I was like "omg what a coincidence, what if he comes to Baek City" but alas :/

Pon de Replay what an icon. I don't think I genuinely know any ASAP song, but it's because I don't know most mainstream songs, boomer <3 so, sorry to that man. I don't think Riri's tickets were that expensive, also her last tour was 2000 years ago 😭 speaking of Bey, she's like the opposite of Rihanna. Don't really vibe with her music, but she can put on an amazing and well-produced show

I eat tteokbokki pretty regularly, so it wasn't that much of a difference, they were semi-spicy, but good. Korean food is spicier than Japanese, but I still need more heat sometimes 🔥

A lot of people dislike season 4 of You, but it's funny cause it's all London and posh Brits, absolutely insufferable lmao. The tone is different, but as a whodunnit fan I ate it up! I'm looking forward to part 2, because it looks a bit more interesting.

Wish we looked that cute

Ah that's not the mushroom head I dislike, he's cute, but I was thinking of this still adorable, because it's Hwa...

M🍙pe what is this behaviour oeiwhisjswjjw tbh I hate this type of magicians, but come on. Unless it was all scripted he needs to smile a little

I was about to send you that white shirt Hwa video, amazing how I generally don't care for shirts or suits, but when it's Seonghwa......

I'm devastated Baeksy! No more "Ddeong-ppear" no more wholesome, unhinged, sweet and random stories and selfies 🤧🤧🤧🤧 I sincerely believe some idols are sad Universe is gone as well. Nooooo leave Bubble alone at least. Devastation, head in hands etc...

Fencing makes you rich??? Idk about that I trained in a shitty community centre. Ok trained is a big word, I did it for a few months only, because it was the closest thing I could get to sword fighting 😭

Oh god, see I'd be happy to see the Cursed Child movie, but anything connected to R*wl*ng is trash to me now </3 ruined everything for me, that stupid bitch

Hello he's so silly and let me lint roll you sir

Brb, breaking into that store

What would you do if you were stuck in a lift with this guy?

I found this account... accidentally and Hwa is all over it 😭 not really into armpits, but Hwapits... maybe, the agenda is really strong - DV 💖

hello! ITS ON SIGHT ANON ON SIGHT 🔫

u waited till u SQW THE CHANGE AND THEN CAME BACK HERE TO SAY THIS 🔫🔫 tbh i be cursing man city bc they didn’t let alvarez play <3 MADE A LITTLE CHART FOR ARSENALS SHIT STREAKING I AM DETERMINED THAT PEP WILL PLAY HIS WAY INTO THOSE 2 POINTS no but srs this is actually shit 😭😭 not even as a rival but what is this 😭😭😭

koreans and their spurs relationship will never disappoint 😭😭 at least they won!

no bc they won against spurs im not HEARING ANYTHING 🤚🏻 the only good player they got is emi martinez <3 NOO THERE ARE SO MANY AND FOR WHAT WHY DO U GOT A LEEDS? FULHAM? WHO ASKED 🔫 no bc it’s the same for me, tho barca doesn’t disappoint THEYRE doing quite good atm, psg…at least they won 😭😭 see ARSENAL PLAYS SHIT, it would’ve been embarrassing,, saw the liverpool v madrid game today, why do madrid perform better in champions league than in la liga 😭😭

Omfg you're right Hwa at the pop up was giving model, brand ambassador 😭 /// That selfie sign?! Kpop stans can't be normal. Also how do some people have the time to watermark and post their stuff during the concert?! Have some fun??? Unless it's the serial concert goers, they don't care anymore, just need some clout on the bird app

WASNT HE! EXACTLY! 😭😭 the closest we’ll get to it for now,, the self promo i respect it bUT how about we all go for having fun! and music! rather than wanting a yn moment! NOOO UR RIGHT HOW DO THE FANSITES DO THAT SO FAST like do ur even enjoy the concert atp bc half the time ur on the camera and then u edit it on ur laptop 😭😭

bestie…i have absolutely no words this is,, can we even enjoy music now with this looming issue of this company possibly disbanding everyone sm artists at least go to south america, vancouver, europe sometimes and south east asia now with them taking over we’re only getting usa and a toronto tour from now on AND AT LEAST SM’S TICKETS WERE A LITTLE CHEAP BUT THIS 😭😭😭 GONNA BE A NIGHTMARE 😭😭😭 but they’re already doing very well??? 😭😭 need u to visit hybe and have some words with them 🤨 taking credit for their success ofc

I'm so sorry Baek idk why artists are allergic to Vancouver? When I saw Tamino's Canada dates I was like "omg what a coincidence, what if he comes to Baek City" but alas :/

it’s never my turn to be happy never

I KNEW SHE CHANGED WHEN SHE DIDNT INCLUDE PON DE REPLAY IN HER TRACKLIST, SHE DID KISS IT BETTER BUT NOT THAT SONG??? not the same girlie i tell u,, every ask im reminded ur a boomer <3 with inflation i just know they’d reach 1K $$ i like beyonce’s music that’s like title track worthy,, crazy in love is def top tier,, she really does! that dubai (?) one was crazy!

I honestly get seeing idols around, because I literally saw some ex-Wanna One members in a cafe two days ago ❤ but chasing them or purposely going to places you can spot them 🔪 (giving Oil London stalking Jimin vibes) /// I eat tteokbokki pretty regularly, so it wasn't that much of a difference, they were semi-spicy, but good. Korean food is spicier than Japanese, but I still need more heat sometimes 🔥

now.. 😭😭😭 this is pretty uncomfy 😭😭 oooo no way!!! who were they? was it mr ong bc im about to ask u to yell @ him for an album,, AHHHH hope u ate loads AND DRANK WATER SO UR BLOOD IS NOT JUST TTEOKBOKKI 🔫🔫

AHHHH the jokes must be more for the uk-ers than for the americans, no wonder they dislike it 😭😭 UR RIGHT THAT TROPE IS ALWAYS GOOD, idk if u have watched it but love wedding repeat is a must!! the classic british romcom with an EXTRA amount of comedy and chaos very exquisitely filmed in italy and circling around a wedding! the way i laughed during the movie but then again i laugh at anything but this was really good! 100% rec the low ratings do NOT DO IT JUSTICE AT ALL!

me 2 minutes into this movie actually

Wish we looked that cute /// Ah that's not the mushroom head I dislike, he's cute, but I was thinking of this still adorable, because it's Hwa...

seonghwa needs to be sponsernd by pantene bc that hair volume is insane,, HEY THATS NOT THAT BAD ANON 🔫🔫

M🍙pe what is this behaviour oeiwhisjswjjw tbh I hate this type of magicians, but come on. Unless it was all scripted he needs to smile a little /// I was about to send you that white shirt Hwa video, amazing how I generally don't care for shirts or suits, but when it's Seonghwa......

no yeah they can be a little annoying but every psg player at the party was all funsies with him but he’s a haha, strange lil guy,, has to be the only one hA HA. RHWKHDKW BUT WHEJ ITS SEONGHWA,, I MUST SAY I AM A SUCKER FOR SUITS ON MEN AND SEONGHWA IS ON TOP OF THE LIST FBWKDHWK what the fuck

THE WAY THEYRE ALL SO DRAMATIC AND CONSTANTLY LEAVING MESSAGES 😭😭😭no more internet breaking selfies from them all,, no yeah i bet they’re pretty mad about it too bc now they gotta move to bubble and HYBE WANTS TO MERGE IT 🔫🔫🔫 ur are rich. coNVINCED ACTUALLY! WITH THE AMOUNT OF JOBS U HAD BESTIE UR ROLLING IN THE POUNDS or € whichever one u use <3

Oh god, see I'd be happy to see the Cursed Child movie, but anything connected to R*wl*ng is trash to me now </3 ruined everything for me, that stupid bitch /// Hello he's so silly and let me lint roll you sir

no bc i don’t even care what she says im just here for the movies and the cast 😭🤚🏻want to feel nostalgic and hear the hogwarts ost’s in the theatres bc i kNOW ITS GOING TO BREAK US ALL,,, u know some times seonghwa acts like he’s straight out of the 90’s grease and is named soda pop

Brb, breaking into that store /// What would you do if you were stuck in a lift with this guy? /// I found this account... accidentally and Hwa is all over it 😭 not really into armpits, but Hwapits... maybe, the agenda is really strong - DV 💖

ANOM TAKE THE PINK ONE IM HUNTING FOR THE WHITE ONE,, see now, the first thing my mind went to after seeing that lift video is that one model hwa scene <3 will log out now! NOT INTO ARMPITS BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE USE TO GEY THEM SO SMOOTH WHAT THE FUCK

ur sign to read model hwa

ANONFBJQHDKWHDKW that was me actually i took a flight to barcelona

not this guy acting like he’s in love with him AFTER ALMOST ENDING HIS LIFE FOR OVER A DECADE

i have to share this bc i spent the last hour laughing at this with tears streaming down my face

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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