#tbh you can tell i got burned out by the end but! i stuck with it as long as I could instead of falling off entirely

[asterbats]

I wish I could've been able to do more this year (I have a bad defense/attack ratio right now and have had it for a while sdlfsdfs) but considering personal stuff I'm glad I was able to get as much done as I did. Sorry to anyone who attacked me and did not get a revenge! If there is an art fight next year I'll make sure to prioritize y'all! Thank you so much for all of your beautiful art, I really do hold every piece as precious to me dlfsfsfsklfds it is so easy to flatter me with my ocs tbh.

[drac-kool-aid]

Seward's bone deep desire to run away from the asylum is not exactly surprising. There have been a lot of really good meta posts about how the return of Van Helsing into his life is the turning point where we see the caring and good side of him and how we can interpret his life as a student in Amersterdam as one of freedom and happiness. How he is part of the tragedy of manners, how strict social expectations allow Dracula to persist, and how they only exacerbate the unhappiness of the characters.

And I think the tragedy of Seward is that, really, he should not be the head of an asylum. It's a job that brings him no joy, and he's BAD at it. We can all recognize that if your first reaction to going back to work is "What if I just leave it all." That isn't a healthy work environment.

Now, in the modern day, the ability to pick and choose a work environment, even to leave one that is damaging your mental health, is a privilege. (IT SHOULDNT BE, but it is). And, although it is definitely reaching crisis levels in modern times, major changes in your career have almost always been difficult (unless you are really rich, or a particular brand of academic in the 17th-18th century, or both).

Seward can't just leave and become a surgeon. To give up the lofty position of "Head of an Asylum" would be unthinkable in the 1890s, especially for a reason like "Being here is basically turning me into the Joker." Like, how would Seward explain that in polite society? Would they accept that reasoning? Would they create salacious gossip if they didn't? Can Seward leave his position without losing a great amount of social capital?

Probably not.

His rise to head of an asylum, as many have pointed out, was meteoric, to say the least. It has afforded him status and respect and also left him deeply, deeply fucked up. And he can't leave!

I think his desperate attempts to quantify Renfield's behaviors into a new mental illness are telling in this regard. Maybe he is too used to having to meet some sort of expectation, and now he thinks this is the logical next step (It's NOT, but I digress). The feeling of having to keep performing above expectations, grasping at straws to do so, and subsequently burning oneself out (as well as others around you) and engaging in unethical practices? Idk. It sounds like something that would happen today. (tbh there are probably a ton of Sewards out there today, as there are still systemic problems within the mental health system that allow for the dehumanizing and abuse of patients).

It doesn't excuse his behavior. Nothing he does to Renfield is excusable, but I think it does explain some of the *why*. He isn't just cruel for cruelty's sake.

So, tldr I guess: I think reading Seward as someone who got stuck on a career path that he realized was unfufilling and that he ends up hating. Social conventions restrict him from just quitting without and a (socially acceptable) good reason to do so, and a lifetime of being regarded as one of the smartest people in the room means he can not allow himself to fail. Unfortunately, this also means he can not admit when his actions or his ideas are wrong when it comes to his job.

(But he can show that uncertainty FOR Lucy, and TO Arthur and Van Helsing, which speaks his trust and love for them)

[mono-dot-jpeg]

tucking you in - himeko, kafka

summary; just some sweet platonic fluff with the aunts

genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, family fic, idk what else to say like, it's cute fluffy and sweet, child! reader, kafka and himeko are referred to as aunts

[platonic] [5-6 yrs old! reader] [gender neutral reader]

a/n; not much to say about this one tbh. just enjoy some fluff. also kafka's scenario is based off my memories with my mom when i was stuck at family parties late at night with her.

"now, now. your exploring must come to an end, little star." she hummed. you feel yourself getting picked up by himeko, soon turning you to rest your head on her shoulder.

"i don't wanna sleep though. why can't i stay up a little longer?" you moved your head to press your cheek on her shoulder and face her a bit better. "you can't even tell it's like night time here! we live in space!" you pointed at the windows of the express, clearly seeing the glittering stars and void of space.

"mm, yes i know, but even the brightest stars need to rest." she pokes your side, making you giggle. "if they burn too long, they get tired-" you yawn. "just like you."

"mhn.. but..."

"but?"

"but i'm not-" you try to hold back a yawn but fail, "tired."

"of course, of course. we're just going to grab your favorite book to read, and we're gonna lay down, get all comfy.." her soothing voice almost sings like a lullaby as she speaks softly through the halls of the passenger rooms. as you pass by each room, you can hear different sounds.

dan heng's room is humming like a quiet engine from the data library, march is still humming a little tune while she gets ready for bed, trailblazer is shuffling around organizing their room as they settle in, it's an interesting sensation of comfort when you sleep knowing that you have family right by your side. and welt's room is the most quiet of them all, you've never really been in his room but you know it has a lot of "old people things" as you once said.

"we're here." she sang quietly as she opened the door. it was currently a shared room for you and himeko. "you want to stay by my side tonight?" you nodded sleepily. you get ready for bed, though himeko is mostly helping you as your body is limp from how tired you are. "my tired little star.. look at you." she coos, cupping your cheek just squishing it for a moment.

before you know it, you're carried by himeko once again and your head hits the pillow, luring you into a deep sleep next to your aunt.

kafka... was a busy woman. you knew that, everyone knew that. she was just busy.

but that never meant that she never had time for you.

actually more often than not, she would be taking you around when she can. it was really endearing. blade wasn't amused, but she didn't care. and you didn't care either.

but also kafka's encounters and adventures.. were kind of boring. you were there to at least make it tolerable for her. but then you got bored too. and with being bored came being tired.

tonight was slightly less boring night, it was a meeting though so how less boring could it really be. could you even call it a meeting when they're all playing cards? they were still discussing big kid stuff from what you could hear. you didn't understand much of what they were saying. everyone was sat on the floor with a comfortable mat to sit on. your head rested on kafka's thigh as you zone out from the conversation.

you feel your hair get played with. kafka's free hand threads through your hair gently tugging out knots and scratching your scalp just a little bit. "you can sleep if you want, kid. we're gonna be here for a while." she mutters to you.

it takes you a while to fall asleep but hearing the chatter of blade, kafka, and silver wolf has you feeling tired quick. and you fall asleep.

"do we have a blanket?" kafka asks the others. "blade-y? can you grab one from the kid? you're losing anyways, so might as well." she snickers quietly. he obliges, tossing the blanket to her. she catches it, laying the blanket over you. "maybe get a pillow too?" blade gives her a look.

"no."

"you never think of the child, blade."

"i don't care about the child."

"don't ever talk to me or my kid ever again."

[slytherinshua]

FALLEN FROM GRACE

genre. angst. angel/demon au. forbidden love kinda(?) warnings. heaven/hell and angel/demon stuff. hyojin losing his angel status and just a lot of angst tbh. pairing. angel!hyojin x demon!reader. wc. 1k. request. no. a/n. got the idea from that one clip of hyojin on a bamamon stage but i don't have the link to it anymore skjksd but yeah he looked so sad and abandoned :( stage presence go off fr!! also tagging @wheeboo

“Don’t be dumb, Hyojin. They lied to you, simple as that. They wanted you gone and they did what they needed to justify banishing you. There’s no going back.”

Your voice echoed in Hyojin’s ears, making goosebumps rise on his porcelain skin. Crystal tears fell from his eyes, another sign that he was slowly losing his abilities. Angels weren’t allowed to show emotion; that was Hyojin’s first mistake.

Your words were as clear as ever, yet Hyojin’s clouded brain still didn’t want to believe them. How could it all be over? Thousands of years serving without a question, gone in an instant? 

“It doesn’t make sense. Why would they trick me? They forbade us from ever deceiving anyone. Not even demons.” Hyojin grasped at an explanation, and while you would never admit that you had any affection for him, the look of pure sadness on his face had your heart aching. You always knew those angels were backstabbers. 

“Even angels can lie, Hyojin. You knew that.” You whispered, biting your lip as you looked away from him. You could feel the fire on your wings burn a bit brighter and hotter as the wind picked up. Maybe it was because you were angry, or maybe it was because you caught Hyojin’s shiver. You were stuck on an old deserted jet runway, the weather conditions gloomy and harsh. 

You had known from the second you saw Hyojin fly down that something was wrong, but you hadn’t expected it to have finally come to an end. The more you thought of it, the more it made sense. Hyojin had always been different from the other heavenly hosts. He always had a more mischievous way of mind and was willing to take more of a risk. You were reminded of all the times Hyojin had lied to you in the past— never harmful lies, never in the way he had been lied to, but it was enough for you to know that he was already destined to be banished.

“Are you sure you’re allowed down here?”

“Of course. Angels don’t need a reason to visit Earth.”

You both knew back then the laws of the heavens, especially ones regarding excursions to Earth. And you both knew that Hyojin was breaking the rules for you. Because he was foolishly fond of you. Because he knew you were different as well.

“Promise me that if things go wrong, you won’t sacrifice yourself for me. You’re perfect, Hyojin. You’re angelic. Don’t abandon all that you have for a demon like me.”

“I promise.”

Even the brainless humans could tell that those 2 words held no truth behind them. 

“What now?” Hyojin whispered the question in both of your minds. 

“You have two options.” You breathed, stepping towards the angel on his knees. “Either you live amongst the humans, immortal as a fallen angel, or you come with me to the underworld. Hell won’t accept you easily, and you’ll have to fight against the ones you used to call friends, but I can assure your safety.” 

“Will I ever get my powers back?” He asked. He sounded hopeless, lost, abandoned, forgotten. Even now, you were the only one who would ever remember his name. It had been erased from all records of angels.

“There is a way…” You thought out loud, your brain sifting through the risks. You looked back down at Hyojin, “It won’t be a replica of your angelic powers, but it will be similar to mine. I can give you a piece of my power and it will be your job to nurse it. You have to make it your own. Learn how to control it, don’t let it overwhelm you… or you will go mad.”

He nodded, understanding the weight of the risk. His tears had now stopped, and where they had fallen, you noticed fine cracks starting to form on his skin. His hands no longer held a white glow, revealing the more human-like skin underneath. His powers were fading away from him. They would be completely gone in minutes. 

You crouched down next to him, your hand tentatively touching his cheek for the first time. You had never dared before. A demon like you touching a member of the heavenlies? You needn’t even imagine what it would do to your powers if he still held all his strength. Hyojin had always been stronger than you. Seeing him so devoid of his former energy was alienating. 

“Your wings will dissipate. We will have to walk.” You whispered, a sad smile on your face as you took in his beautiful wings for the last time. Shimmering a bright white— almost too white. Everything white and pure and holy about him would soon be gone without a trace. 

He glanced up at you, his lip quivering as his strength left him. He had never felt so powerless, but he accepted his fate without a fight. He closed his eyes, clinging to your arm as his wings slowly faded, leaving behind scars on his back. His golden hair faded to black, and the cracks on his face evened out, leaving nothing but a humanlike soft skin behind. It was nothing like his angelic face, but it was still him.

“Let’s go. I’ll introduce you to my friends. Seungjun and Minkyun aren’t half-bad as far as demons go. Just don’t go near Minkyun’s felines. They’ll scratch your angel face, soon as look at you.” You grinned, stroking his cheek before standing up. He kept his head down as you led him to the portal. Down there, he could no longer be known as an angel, but would never be accepted as one of Beezlebub’s cronies, either. 

You would keep him safe— away from the hostile devils and imps. You would wait and watch as he nurtured his new powers and formed a new identity, closer to you than ever before. He was no longer your mischievous angel, but, perhaps, someone more deserving of the title lover.

↳ onf taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @seunghancore,, @haecien,,

@bananabubble

[his-tamine]

Can we know more about Eden's trauma? I'm so into their story

Good question, anon :] tbh I've been pretty reluctant to go into too much detail about Eden's past on here, since even though he's a fictional character, the stuff that happened to him is more along the lines of "realistic fiction" - meaning that the mentioned events *can* occur in real life - and therefore could trigger real people who might've experienced anything similar.

BUT I think it should be fine, so long as I add a trigger warning. // TW for talk of: physical abuse, domestic violence, verbal abuse, death while in labor, murder, alcoholism, & a brief mention of hypothetical miscarriage. If any of the things listed trigger you, maybe don't read this one to be safe, ight? The short & sweet version is that Eden's father and stepmother are some stank bitches. and Eden's sister, Forrest's mother, & Eden's adoptive grandma are queens.

If you stuck around, here we go. (This is SUPER long, so I'm sorry ab that) Eden Ash Harmon's birth - February 5th, 2000 - was a long, painful, & ultimately fatal one for his mother, Lauren May Harmon. various complications occurred, and she ended up not even surviving long enough to get to see him draw his first breath. His father, Troy Harmon, was devastated over his wife's passing, and overwhelmed by the prospect of not only becoming a new parent, but now becoming a single parent. He had to grieve, whilst trying to raise Eden. which was even harder, because he was born prematurely and of course, smaller and weaker than normal, so he required a lot of extra care. This took a serious toll on him, and Troy began to unfortunately rely on alcohol - a reliance which only got worse over time, and developed into just alcoholism. By the time Eden was just three years old, his father had grown to resent him, and blame him for all of the struggles he faced. and by the time Eden was 4, he'd unfortunately begun expressing his resentment aloud. He'd say really nasty things like how he wished Lauren had just miscarried instead of giving her life to birth Eden, because he'd rather have his wife back than have Eden. To Eden's face. Both drunk, and sober. Making sure Eden knew exactly how much of a "burden" he was. Which, of course, was really harmful. Troy was also physically abusive toward him, doing things such as putting out cigarettes on his skin - the burn scars of which Eden still has to this day, though they're now more faint. Then, one day Troy brought home a woman called Sharon, and introduced the two to each other. It wasn't uncommon for Troy to bring women home for one-night-stands, but come to find out, Troy and Sharon had actually been dating for around three months before this introduction. Eden, at first, was honestly excited. He thought this meant his father would be happy again, and he may get a mother.

The first part seemed true for a while. Troy was much calmer than he'd previously been, but that didn't last. because Sharon soon got pregnant. Now Sharon was originally indifferent towards kids for the most part, and because of this, didn't become too close with Eden at the time, but she found herself wanting to keep the baby. The news of the pregnancy triggered Troy, and sent him into a panic. all of the memories of the day Eden was born and he lost his first wife, came flooding back. He didn't know how to handle this properly, and started to behave aggressive towards Sharon too, as he had with Eden. He hadn't physically hurt her, but he was getting close to it (think, punching walls or throwing things - aggressive hand gestures, etc.) and it soon dawned on Sharon that the home was not safe anymore.

So, she planned to leave without telling him. Eden himself still isn't sure why, but she opted to take him with her. maybe it was pity, maybe it was newfound maternal instinct due to having her own baby on the way, who knows? well, not long after her baby - & Eden's younger half sister - Beatrice Harmon, was born, while Troy was out one evening, Sharon packed what she could of their belongings - only the important things & clothing - that she could fit in her purse, & made for her mother's house, maybe 2 hours away.

Sharon's mother, Susan, was - for lack of a better term - an angel. Though they weren't blood-related, she immediately welcomed Eden as her grandson, with open arms. She stayed with them every day while Sharon was at work, and actively engaged with and played with them. Eden even had his first birthday celebration there when he turned five. This was by far the best year of his entire life at the time.

Well, of course, that also didn't last. (Here's where things take an even darker turn, so if you need to, refer back to the tw.)

Troy found them. Susan was behind the corner, fixing lunch for Eden and Bea, when he showed up, and broke in. In broad daylight. Eden completely froze at first, unable to even believe that this was happening. Troy destroyed things, and stomped all throughout the small home, calling Sharon's name. But Sharon, ironically, wasn't even home - she was at work. Susan yelled for him to leave, and grabbed a kitchen knife in order to protect the kids, then dialed 9-1-1.

Troy flew into a rage, and injured her, very badly. She was only in her mid-sixties, but she was still an older woman. She kept screaming for Eden to take his sister and run to the neighbors, since the front door was still ajar, but Eden couldn't yet hear anything. His ears were ringing, and his body was completely paralyzed with fear. Troy injured one of her legs badly enough that she couldn't get up off of the ground, and then ended up knocking her unconscious.

when Eden could finally make his body move, all he could think was not to stop Troy. Stop him from hurting Susan any further, and not to let him lay a finger on his baby sister. So, he grabbed the kitchen knife and did what he had to. The end result wasn't immediate however, and - still pumped full of adrenaline - Troy ended up injuring Eden quiet badly as well. Then, he realized how badly injured he *himself* was, panicked, and promptly took off on foot.

Eden was unable to move due to his injuries, but still semi-conscious. Susan was gravely injured, and he wasn't sure whether or not she was even still alive. Bea ended up being completely physically unharmed. Neighbors came outside, found them, and dialed 9-1-1, successfully hitting 'call' this time. All three were rushed to the hospital to be examined & treated. The hospital also contacted Sharon, and she got there as fast as she could.

At first, Sharon was just so relieved that her mother and Eden were alive, and that Bea wasn't injured. But after a day & a half, authorities found Troy. Not alive. He'd failed to get medical attention for his own injuries, obviously for fear of going to prison. When Sharon found that out, she was - surprisingly - devastated. apparently at one point, she'd gotten it in her head that they could reconcile someday in the near future, and had - stupidly - given him strong hints as to where they were all staying.

and of course, now that he was dead, all those plans went up in smoke. So, who does she blame? If you said Eden, you win! :,]

Eden, still being a kid - and a severely traumatized one, at that - of course did the same thing he did the last time he was blamed for someone's death, and believed that it really was his fault. So now, in his mind, he'd killed *both* his parents (which of course was not the case - it was not his fault at all.)

Sharon took custody of he and Beatrice, as she was pretty much all they had left. And like last time, she let her resentment fester, and turn into physical and verbal abuse. Only toward Eden though. Bea grew up witnessing this, and since her older brother was literally nothing but nice to her - and practically raised her due to Sharon's neglect of both kids - she fortunately stood up for him whenever she got the opportunity.

Susan held on as long as she could - until Eden was eleven - but eventually succumbed to her internal injuries. Infections played a role. Eden was forbidden from attending her memorial service, by Sharon, because - in her words - "She wasn't even really your grandma." She forced Bea to attend with her, and left Eden home alone that day.

Fast forward, and Eden's sixteen. Sharon demands that he start paying rent, or else she'll kick him out. Eden's not stupid, so he at first refuses, stating the obvious - that she couldn't kick out a sixteen-year-old. but she does anyway. she kicks him out, then calls the cops, and reports him as a runaway. Making him out to be an unruly teenager, who just wears her out all the time, and runs away when asked to do simple house chores such as cleaning his room (lies, lies, lies.)

She did this multiple times, and every time, the cops believed her. Eden got sick of it, and finally agreed to get a job so that he could pay rent. He went to work at a shitty local coffee shop, as a barista. There, he met Forrest! :] Yes, we finally get to some GOOD news.

At first, they didn't talk much, but after a while, Forrest noticed Eden struggling with certain things, and that whenever he asked for help, he was either ignored or insulted for "not knowing how to do his job." So, he offered to help him, since he knew his way around the place by then. That's how their interactions started. Coworkers to friends to lovers, basically.

Eden began spending every lunch with Forrest, listening to him infodump. everyone else thought Forrest's constant yapping was "annoying," but Eden was just glad to have someone who wanted to talk to him. Especially someone his age, and especially someone friendly.

By the time Eden was 17, he'd already filled Forrest in briefly about his home life, and Forrest and his mother Margaret, had made it clear to Eden that if it came down to it, he was welcome to stay with them. Sharon was constantly ranting about how she couldn't wait for the day when she was no longer legally responsible for him anymore, so Eden prepared. He made sure Bea still had a way to keep in touch with him whenever she needed, and he packed one bag of essentials, and kept it hidden until his 18th birthday.

On his 18th, he was immediately kicked out. I'm talking 2 o'clock in the morning, woken up, and told to get out and never come back. So, he did. He went to stay with Forrest & Margaret, and stayed there for 3 years. During which he remained working with Forrest at the coffee shop, and offered to pay Margaret rent, to which she laughed and told him to save his money, and he didn't need to do that.

Margaret too is an angel, fr. Anyways, at 21, he and Forrest were dating and decided to move in together. And ofc, Beatrice later ended up moving out right away at 18 because she couldn't stand her mother. And the rest is history. :]

I always say, the silliest goose has the most fucked up backstory

[loevan]

Arthur/Eames (Inception) fics rec

Hi!

I am probably 14 years late but I have always wanted to create a rec for fanfictions about Arthur & Eames, which is one of my favorite pairing tbh. I have read the fics over 10 years ago so apologies if some of the sum ups are a bit blurry. I did not put all the fandom classics but the ones that I absolutely adore and which stuck with me all those years.

Buckle up, here is my top ten:

Ex-aequo In our line of work by enjambement (16k), incredible storyline, made me ache all over

Ex-aequo These frameworks labelled home (9k) by mruk - the most underrated ever. Won't tell you what this one is about just go read it

2. We Can Do This Until We Pass Out (29k) by desires - GO READ IT NOW. Chav!Eames, which pays hommage to young Tom Hardy, such a penting, innit

3. Skin Deep (17k) by Starlingthefool - a tattoo shop AU to end ALL tattoo shop AU. Absolutely amazing. Loved the portrayal of both, loved the twist, loved the tattoos ideas. Made me wish at 15 I could have some. Spoiler alert: years later, I DO.

4. I've got nothing to do today but smile (the only living boy in New York) (20k) by gyzym - loved the pacing and Arthur’s passion for baking when stressed out, but could not really relate with his burn out. 10 years later tho??? can totally relate and this fic is one of my inspiration to open a coffeeshop

5. My Lungs Are Fresh and Yours To Keep (18k) by black Betty 26 - Did I almost tattoo the title of this fic on my body? Yes. Yes I almost did. Band!AU, super sexy Arthur, great tension between Arthur and Eames, LOVED IT.

6. Rough Trade (23k) by whiskyrunner - warning some strong internalized homophobia but damn the sex is hot and the alchemy between Arthur and Eames is incredible

7. Late night phone call (15k) by sparkledark - this one holds a special place for me because when I was REALLY feeling down, I thought about it and was okay in this one fanfic when Eames was feeling v low he called a suic*de hotline and everything went better and that's why I called one and yup it probably saved my life. so kudos to this pic and the characterization of Eames is to die for.

8. Towards Zero (20k) by Mirabella - great plot, with a twist at the end, I read it like 10 times

9. In Our Kingdom by the Shore (10k) by Alezane - if you love Gothic retelling, the little mermaid and great writing? This fic is for you. One of my absolute favs.

10. Incipit (9k) by the hoyden - cute, made me want to be a writer

Short ones I love dearly but could not be part of my top 10:

Laying Claim (13k) by laceymcbain - sorry but protective Eames??? yes please feed it to me (all the other fics of this author are great!)

I can't extinguish the fire though I've tried (7k) by aprettyaway - if you have firefighters fantasy (don't lie, we all do), read this one. Cute and funny and HOT (pun intended)

Two Steps Towards Make Believe (4k) by ifeelbetter - short and cute, if you have insomnia rub your feet with magnesium oil it truly helps

nothing we could judge (12k) by green_postit - a fic about Eames and Sherlock in college. Their banter is everything and they are super smart in the fic, taught me new psy concepts and got a brain boner

Trivium (5k) by thefourofswords - academia and philosophy??? that's my love language baby

Enjoy and do not hesitate to reach out if you want more recs!

[c6jpg]

okay okay arlecchino story quest thoughts

overall i liked it but mainly the whole duel sequence which was fucking awesome but some points that bugged me:

the release of arlecchino's animated short basically spoiling the entire story quest

mentioned in the tags of my previous post but yeah i think the story quest would have been a lot more... idk interesting? revealing? if the animated short had been released after this patch/story quest. you basically spend the entire first half of the story quest already knowing the "twist" and have to watch literally everyone else figure it out which is never really engaging nor fun story telling.

like you KNOWWW arlecchino is not "that evil" and you KNOWWWWW all these atrocities were from the previous knave so seeing literally everybody go through these theatrics is a little. sigh. idk. like i was just waiting to get to the boss fight bc i knew the corresponding cutscenes would be awesome (and they were) and getting random fatui insider knowledge was fun i enjoyed having what was effectively seeing arlecchino and childe in the office break room but we didn't really learn anything we didn't already know

also. arlecchino is hardly the first but it really is just kinda. sigh when you basically get a whole scene of the character explaining their OWN tragic backstory. once again genshin fails to show not tell

freminet

i know a lot of people are upset about the freminet timeline. honestly idc at this point i'll suspend my belief whatever yadda yadda but i do think it was a cop out for freminet to have like. not at least been SUSPICIOUS that clervie was possibly talking about the previous knave just because crucabena "didn't talk about it and all the experiments ended" by the time he joined the house

like he spent a significant time with clervie (half a month right?) trying to help her out and even if clervie was "a child stuck in the past" she wasn't exactly trying to hide anything and they ALL knew she was some sort of ghost or maybe something tied to memories/leylines. and he KNEW crucabena so i'm just like. a little aghast he didn't have any damn idea like at least make him suspicious right so he and the traveler can join heads and be like "hmmmmmmm something is not right here HMMMMMMMMM" like if you are SO sure arlecchino isn't "that kind of person" (ig this was more lyney saying this but still) wouldn't you consider maaaaaaaaaaaybe the previous knaves were?

there was a single moment when they were at the table sharing intel that freminet was "lost in thought" and i think that would have been a fantastic moment for freminet to be the star and voice his suspicious but we got literally nothing from that.

honestly just disappointed freminet didn't do more in the story tbh. the trailer was really hyping him up to literally change the game lol

the results of the duel

i mean we saw it coming we knew she was gonna spare those children somehow. idrk how to describe it like on one hand yes would be nice to have more morally fucked up characters and its a little disappointing that arlecchino isn't "that bad" she's actually super normal all things considering (childe fucking LIED) on the other hand i don't necessarily hate this is the way they made her character? but the result of the duel still felt like a huge cop out lmao like it was basically an indirect "your resolve towards family impressed me so i'll let them live" which was exactly how i didn't want this to be resolved but also don't know how they would have done it otherwise

arlecchino's curse/flames/????????

GIRL CAN YOU ELABORATE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i know it has to do with her being part of some khaenrian (?) bloodline or something but lajdksfldjflads can you elaborate what do you mean your flames can be extracted and burn memories we're just all gonna take that and run with it huh

anyways.

regardless i loved the main battle cutscene in her boss form. loved that bit where she blocked freminet and lynette's dual attack and was like "sorry for what? this pitiful excuse for an attack?" i was banging my fist on the table i loved that bit sooooooooooo fucking much dear god

ending cutscene was expected and bittersweet but i liked it a lot as well. really the graphics and me just really liking arlecchino saved this quest for me LOL i think it has a lot of plot holes compared to other story quests but also a much more interesting story (bar is in hell) although you're guaranteed to get some sort of lore with a weekly boss but anyways it averages out to being a pretty okay but not spectacular story quest 👍 maybe like a 6/10, would have rated it higher if the animated short didn't spoil everything

[schizochasm]

I went to the store.

My mom sent me 100sek less than she said. So I had to cut some stuff and accept that I'll not have money for the rest of the week.

I still got 2 6packs though. Cause if I hadn't I would've been even worse off.

I was supposed to start watching SVU while waiting for the bus, but my friend called. They were very upset, but at least it saved me from watching it.

Rant about him and my life

TW: (sc1de talk, abuser, hopelessness, and just horrific shit tbh. Proceed at your own risk.)

Once I got home I smoked 2 ciggies in the bathroom venting at him. About how I don't even care anymore and if I had the money I wouldn't talk to anyone anymore. And just let go of what I "need to do" to keep my life together. Just isolate and go back to being g drunk 24/7. Cause I just don't care anymore.

And I told him how I feel about him. How much I hate him etc. even though I know he knows. He's in my head. He knows all of what I think and feel. More than I do sometimes.

I just needed it said.

That's when I made my last post.

After that it was time to watch fucking SVU.

And I'm not even through episode 1 and already hate him for it. And myself.

I can't. I can't cope.

I hate myself for getting this way. For being sick. For being schizophrenic.

And for not listening to him when I should've.

I hate him for ruining my entire life ever since I first met him. Especially after I got sicker years ago and he came back.

But everyone keeps saying he's technically me. He's part of me. He's from my brain.

But he may be from my brain. But he's not me. Fuck that. He's not me. He's nothing like me and he's just horrific terrible scum.

Yet I can barely muster being mad at him anymore.

It's been years. Years.

I'm more submitted, broken, and scared than angry.

That anger, fight, and animosity... It's almost all gone...

He broke me long ago.

And it only got worse over time.

I'm not even one cohesive identity anymore. Not to me.

I'm broken.

And people with abusers that "are real" can escape. There's hope. Somewhere in there you might escape. It might end one day.

But me with my "not real" abuser doesn't get that. For about 2 years I held on to hope.

"One day it'll all get better." And similar. I heard it so much I believed it deep down. That one day maybe it'll all end.

One day he'll stop. He'll go away again and I can start healing and making a life.

I don't have hope anymore.

Not anymore.

It's been at Least 2.5y.

At Least.

I suck at keeping track.

You break.

You fold.

You lose hope.

I can't run. He's in my head.

I can't go to the cops or a shelter. He's in my head.

The meds aren't enough to make it stop. (Maybe if I had a decent dr it could've worked.)

Therapy can't help me cause I'm Currently being controlled and abused, in every category of abuse.

I wish I were dead.

I wish I could k1ll myself.

But my younger brother died 2 years ago.

And since then I don't have it in me to k1ll myself.

Can't do that to my mom and brother. They can't lose us both.

So I'm stuck living.

In a hell scape that people want to just brush off and ignore. Cause to them it's not real. To them it doesn't matter.

It's real to me.

I experience it as if it were real.

But they don't treat me like that's what I'm dealing with.

And I can't even tell them outright myself.

Cause he won't allow me to talk about it. They know. More or less depending on who. But they don't treat it like that's the case. And they never will.

Cause they can't see the scars, rope burns, rashes, cuts, brandings...

They can't see him. Hey can't hear him.

It's not real to them.

It's not the same to them as if it were in shared reality.

I just wanna die.

I just want out.

I don't have a life to hold onto.

I'm just doing it cause I Have to.

Sorry for the rant....

I just....

I wish I could kms...

Maybe one day I'll mercy k1ll myself ...

Maybe one day....,

[macawritesupdates]

Hello! I still have more to say on the latest chapter of Historically Inaccurate. Sukuna trying to teach the reverse curse technique was great but I wonder how he feels about the whole stuck in Yuuji's body in the future situation the comment he made about not teaching his cursed technique because Yuuji might use it against him was a bit of an emotional blow. He's aware that they're enemies. I wonder what that's like. (Side note I'm a trained chef and dear God I would kill for Sukuna's cursed technique Ok do you know how much time it would save me if I could just wave my hand and instantly cut up all my ingredients. I used to joke that half my day was just spent cutting onions and carrots but it was only barely a joke ok, and that's just the veg I also had to cut up meat and herbs and the like. I could make ten times the number of recipes if I didn't have to spend time cutting.) Ahh, but the ever growing concern as Yuuji tried but just couldn't get it hurt so bad. Sukuna's back story was so painful. No wonder he hates seeing Yuuji slowly wasting away. Again, I have to wonder how future Sukuna is handling this. That man is going to be completely insane by the time they get back to the future, and I can't even blame him tbh. I went back to reread some of the interactions between future Sukuna and Yuuji and oh god I feel so bad for him oddly enough even though it hurts those are some of my favorite scenes in the whole fic getting to see him slowly growing more attached to Yuuji is great. I liked all the little moments where you can tell he's trying like when Yuuji gets back from lunch with Megumi and Sukuna asks Him what he's going to do to make him understand his mental state, he's trying to reach out he's just bad at it. Or when Yuuji has His panic attack after his talk with Maki and Sukuna drags him into the domain, I think that he was trying to draw Yuuji into a conversation with that little insult. Ahhh he's trying to reach out but Yuuji is too hurt and burnt out to reach back so his attempts fall flat or worse cause Yuuji to lash out hurting both of them in the process. Anyway back to the current chapter it seems like Yuuji has had a breakthrough with realizing that the Sukunas are the same person just one has so much more trauma, yayy. I mean he seems uncomfortable with it but at least he sees it now that's progress. Sukuna telling Yuuji he should take his future Self to see the fireworks was nice love the idea of Sukuna wingmanning for Sukuna. Honestly I think it'd be reasonable for Sukuna to fight Sukuna but he's got to put some of that self loathing aside because the only way for this story to end happily as far as I can see is for Yuuji and future Sukuna to make it work. That might be a little hard if past Sukuna spends his whole time in the future punching himself I certainly hope he gets a few (verbal) blows in but after that I hope he goes back to wingmanning. (1)

As someone who worked part-time as a prep chef for a number of years...being able to slice quickly would have been beautiful and saved me hours of chopping an ungodly amount of produce for lunch prep 83 (especially onions. Hate onions. My eyes BURN)

And yeah, I make a lot of different Sukuna backstories as I can image it going all sorts of different ways and I doubt we are going to get concrete answers lol This one seemed fitting for this fic!

Sukuna in the past sees present Sukuna as ...just himself. Like going "Oh god, that's me!" and realizing this is the trauma that awaits and desperately wanting to do damage control ; w ; why he makes the comment about "spoiling the story" because he sees where it is going...

Will see if they can manage to get it to work!

[c4tg1rlf41lur3]

had a power thought at work today and so i wrote it down in the silly little work memo pad. im just gonna write it all down here. bc i can.

transcription start!

' golden trio? cursed trio. obvi we have harry first, like OBVIOUSLY he's got his curse scar forehead shtick, but also he's like. fought death since age 11 (AT LEAST). mans is not gonna b completely unscathed save for the silly little death curse scar :3 he's prob got a burned palm from the philosopher's stone/quirrdle. quickle. what the fuck's name. him. 2nd year we've got the basilisk fang stab. big scar, pheonix tears or no. 3rd year he got no big wounds from what i can remember? whole lot of emotional trauma but what's new. 4th year burns from dragon in 1st task, maybe some residual gill/webbing scars from gillyweed in 2nd task, then the piece de fucking resistance from the third task. by that i mean forehead scar is prob. worse. somehow. maybe it spiders out like cracks in the skin further than it already has. and by lightning scar i also mean like actual lightning. not that shitty little ⚡️ something messy and even bigger after the graveyard ("i can touch you now" scene) + scar on forearm from blood sacrifice. 5th year "i must not tell lies". obvi. then a lot of shit happens to harry in 6th/"7th" year that i Do Not Remember woops. whatever happens there = still there.

RON! bestie. bby. im so sorry the movies utterly DESTROYED ur character. he doesn't suffer as much physical damage (still emotional! but) + a lot he does receive isn't caused by magical curse objects physically hurting him. i've got rules for these headcanons you just don't get to know what they are. (directly caused by magical object/curse/cursed object = scar) (indirectly caused by magic or nonmagical encounter = no scar) (<- situational healing magic properties). anyways ron. lots of his injuries are indirectly caused by magic (i.e hit down by chess pieces) this trend gets obliterated past 4th year. ministry of magic showdown. the works. those weird brain jellyfish things that stuck on him all mind zappy + literal zappy. THE FUCKING LOCKET. aw harry, ron, n hermione have matching scars <3 from the locket horcrux. they all wore it right. im sorry rons section isn't as detailed i just know he went through HELL in the last books but I! DO NOT! REMEMBER THOSE! bad jojo. woe is me. FIENDFYRE BURNS. WHAT THE FU-

hermione is a similar case to ron, but actually very little physically happens to her, magical or no. i scoff at this blatant sexism. i'd like to think maybe the polyjuice potion cat hair fiasco of 2nd year may have had some lasting effects (purrhaps some facial scarring from whiskers, marks at her tailbone from the tail) (haha) (see what i did there) (anyways) then we have the removal of an imperfection when they fixed her teeth. more sexism with that btw. but like ron, lots of damage past the 4th book. notably the written "mudblood" scar from bellatrix. i cannot remember what else happens to hermione other than that. guess i'll die '

the end. theres very little point to this tbh i just thought it was interesting. i didn't check my work at all btw. if anythings wrong i. Dont care love u byeeeeee

[spiderton]

Spiderton headcanons. Go

anon i love you forever. anyway SORRY I DIDNT ANSWER THJS INSTANLY IM A LAZY ASS BUT HERES A LOT. OR A FEW. depends

- spiderton is somewhere always in his mid 30s or late 20s, probably.. changes up? maybe he was 28 when he was apart of the military and then 35(?) after most of the events of patapon tbh. who knows how long the rainbow bridge took to built though

- theres many ways that spiderton couldve joined the war but thanks to a friend i just hc'd that he was a mechanic that worked on most of the mechanical side of the zigoton empire. hes interested in tanks of course (because he got taught likw that rosetinted version of war in school or something) and on the side i feel like he also enjoys architecture and weaponary. he often compliments kharmas home but never herself becayse shes a little tooo mean to him

- and speaking of tanks the tank spiderton built (he built it. to clarify here although some think its just whatever demons they made a deal with) was rushed due to fhe conditions of patapons slowly beating up troops and resources going low, and with gong basically dead he rushed the tank up andnwent to battle inexperienced. the original sketches of the ziggerzank were probably so much more ambitious and grand, like the zugagang that probably had plenty of time to be built compared to.. ziggerzank and all. and really he doesnt like being a fan of being uncredited for his work whatsoever

- very minor hc but he probably wore some specialized gloves to even use the fire lance. zigotons biologically wise to me have pretty weak skin underneath the fur, and spiderton has pawpads that can easily burn, and often fire enchanted weapons feel BOILING hot so. he wore basically oven mittens that are actually flexible. they werent comfy to wear and sometimes when training he even forgot them and got burnt a little even (and hes embarrassed by that honestly)

- autistic and disabled. disabled wise it switches i think but mainly, if he lived, he ended up getting partial (? could be using this wrong feel free to tell me) leg paralysis because whatever beatup he got was NOT good on his spinal cordhe ended up keeping winona to help with walking sometimes (shes not really the best) and get from place to place, but he probably just uses something like the rewalk equivalent to get around. that or he ends up loosing a leg and has a prosthetic.. could be explaining this all wrong but i imagine it all humanwise, but can be canonwise too of course

- winona (his warhorse, and name was given by uhhh.... il forgot im so sorry) wasnt the best experienced horse bc most of the other warhorses ended up dying during battle, and winona was one of the last horses that they just gave them to spiderton. he probably had OTHER horses while training but he got stuck with winona, and winona just often acts like a big cat to be honest

- also hes a trans man. dont ask how hes many things i really like him. that or hes cis i dont really care which either but i like him being transgender.. youd know why. zigoton culture is probably netural or... Fuckingnhorrid about trans people when i think about it for too long agguhh but his mom probably didnt even care.. probably bisexual too

- also his mom, widowton (VERY basic name im sorry) ended up being a widow unironically. and she also ate spidertons dad because he wasnt a good dad and all. no one else really knows that fact and assumed he went missing however, but spiderton doesnt have.. the best relationship with his mom that he moved out to apartments when he was 19. he doesnt have any other family members that he knows of..

- spiderton is REALLY impressed by karmen architecture and weapons. probably after the ah-oohs were murdered off and the karmens got to flourish.. he just finds them very impressive, beautiful, and marvels of technology. not entirely related but got the feeling that karmens at least had a help inventing guns or something, but they arent very widespread

- spidertons real name is kumoton. its not his deadname to clarify.. he didnt bother to change it. only a few people ever call him kumo however because mostly everyone just knows him as general spiderton that he doesnt bother to correct (and being called general MIGHT make him happy if it didnt remind him of so much horrid shit)

- and uhh his Relationships he probably has a good friendship with kimen if they ever met! they always gave off the vibes that theyre nerds a little so they geek about the smallest things. maybe kimen likes biology and tells spiderton everything he knows about gastropods (gancheeks, mainly) and spiderton writes it all down because hes slowly growing impressed too!

- him and beetleton is. wow this is a mess but i feel like nonship wise they were friends at least. bickering friends but they probably DID care for each other, and beetleton doesnt have.. a lot of people to lightheartedly bicker with. i dont think beetleton ever left spiderton to die on purpose too, and when he ever realizes that spiderton died or was in critical injury and couldnt return? beetleton blames himself heavily on that.

- and then more onto kuwa, if he was kumoTAN itd be a lot more messy. kumotan wouldnt really forgive kuwagattan, and one of the reasons i feel he doesnt appear is because hes just been forgotten by everyone else, but kuwagattan never forgot and hes just so sorry for everything. even if kuwagattan is a demon, he still wonders what kumotan would think- and somehow convinced himself that maybe kumotan would come over and help him with this fight! and then he didnt. oops

- if spiderton did live though he probably wouldnt know of kuwagattan, at leaaast at first.... he just assumed beetleton died in the war and doesnt like to ever think about it, and mayhe is a little mad but his feelings are just conflicted. and then kuwa SOMEHOW comes back and now spiderton has to deal with the war he was in and now is trying to avoid reminding him of every single mistake he made. and its gonna be a lot

- i could say so much abut the spiderkuwa dynamic too but i could just imagine kuwagattan just casually breaking into spidertons apartment and going Hey uhmmm i need a place to stay and youre all i know....... and jts the fucking Uhm... Meow? scene trope thing basically. and now spiderton has this giant hot demon for a roommate. its actually okay though but remember what i said before? yeah

- also spiderton probably doesnt have a lot of friends. probably was homeschooled real often, that or he DID go to physical school once in a while.. always felt like his only other friends outside of beetleton were probably some of his engineering buddies (one of which is like. one of the few first ocs i made LOL) before he was dragged into being a general.. hes too awkward to ever revisit or anything

- always had the feeling that spiderton is based on these silk weavers.. theres probably red ones but they just come to mind first, so now he probably smells like bananas LOL

- (honestly though he'd just smell like gasoline or sweat. that or both, he doesnt shower real often but he likes to swim surprisingly sometimes)

[greyennui]

How do you approach writing? Do you have one process you use for every work, or does it differ for each project?

What's your favorite work you've written/are working on?

Got any fic ideas/project ideas stuck in your brain that you're excited about, but haven't put out there yet? If yes, would you want to share them?

Congrats on reaching 100!

1. How do you approach writing? Do you have one process you use for every work, or does it differ for each project?

I am a pantser through and through, and let me tell you—it is very hard for me to be any kind of plotter. (For those not in the know, a pantser is a writer who writes "by the seat of their pants," meaning they just start writing without a set plan in place.)

Generally speaking, my writing process is: get an idea that usually comes in the form of a single scene or event, write that scene or event, mull over whether that could turn into a full story, come up with more scenarios/conflicts and write those too, try to put those scenes in an order that makes sense. This is how I've been writing Don't Commit and it's... kind of a struggle tbh. I did try plotting for Gan Doesn't Die At the End, and that has certainly helped, though my outline is still pretty vague. @waterho-writes and I have completely plotted out Anger is but Passion together, but she honestly did most of the heavy lifting there, which I'm very grateful for. Having that outline to write from is hugely helpful.

Once I finish Don't Commit, I'm going to do my best to plot everything else I write because I know I'll be less stressed for it. Filling in the gaps between what I have posted and the ending (which is pretty much fully written) has been quite the struggle for me, and I'd rather not do that for any other long fics in the future tbh.

2. What's your favorite work you've written/are working on?

I think I have to say Don't Commit is my current favorite. Though it isn't the first fic idea I had, it's the first one I really started writing seriously, and I've put my entire soul into it. Sheik is a self-insert in a lot of ways, and including the world building I've put into this fic, there's a lot for me to be proud of.

3. Got any fic ideas/project ideas stuck in your brain that you're excited about, but haven't put out there yet? If yes, would you want to share them?

Oh I have SO MANY ideas for fics. I have a lot of docs that are just like, one scene or one chapter that are waiting for me to get started on. Of course, there's only so much I can work on at once lol.

One idea that really gets me going is my Fierce Deity/Ghirahim concept. I posted My Hero, My God, which is my Fierce Deity origin headcanon and the very beginning of this fic idea, but I intend to fully flesh it out at some point. I've always been interested in what the Surface is like pre- and post-Skyward Sword, especially what happens between the Demon War and our beloved Link going on an adventure to save his best friend. I haven't yet decided whether I want the fic to be short and spicy or long and slow burn-y. Whatever the case, it's going to involve a hefty amount of world building and lore exploring, which is something I especially love doing in the Zelda universe.

Thanks for the congrats and the Qs!

[baenxietydad]

we should take a walk, and look at all the flowers

they're homosexuals, your honor

there was the shitpost one, now the gross and cute one

Slow Burn - Kacey Musgraves

In Tennessee, the sun's goin' down But in Beijing, they're headin' out to work You know the bar down the street don't close for an hour We should take a walk and look at all the flowers

It's giving Hatfish on their silly little forest walks, Mu-yeol pointing out every edible or medicinal plant and Hatter's just like

and the song in general is about kinda gradually coming to love someone, very gross, very sweet

Lover Boy - Phum Viphurit

Time and toys may fill my heart with joy I'll know peace when I'm your lover boy I'll be your new school soul Silver and gold New desire Friends on fire Call me, "Lover boy" ... Darling, I got my trust issues Warning, you stay away

You Are Mine - The Avett Brothers

You are mine The edge I need when I am out of line The air I breathe when I believe I'm dying I guess you are there

We're So In Tune - Kississippi

I'm feeling kinda dizzy Getting tender for you No drama, you just bring My heart so close to Passing it's limitations It's such a bad design It's not an invitation I gotta catch my ride

Playing the same song Like I'm playing my cool Hard not to fall in love when We're so in tune

This song is go girlypop but it is unfortunately also the most Hatfish song to ever Hatfish

남자가 사랑할 때 (Man In Love) - Infinite

But like, specifically I need you to listen to Kim Tae-rae of Zerobaseone sing the part after the rap verse on Boys Planet because that's good stuff right there

Like a young child, I keep laughing for no reason I control myself by saying that I’m different from others

When a man’s in love, he wants to stay by your side There’s always so much he wants to do for you When I’m in love, I want to give everything in my life to you With just one expectation, your heart When I’m in love

Look carefully – if you feel this, that means he’s fallen for you

And you thought I wasn't gonna find a way to put K-pop on here

Everywhere, Everything - Noah Kahan

Drive slowly, I know every route in this county Maybe that ain't such a bad thing I'll tell you where not to speed

It's been a long year and all of our book's pages dog-eared We write out the ends on our palms, dear Then forget to read

We'll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross

Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me Not to take me home It was simple, it was sweetness It was good to know

You look perfect, you look different I don't wonder about your indifference If I said you could never touch me You'd come over and say I looked lovely

...

Depollute me, gentle angel And I'll feel the sickness less and less Come and kiss me, pretty baby Like we'll never have sex

I could actually write a thesis paper about how this 1:39 long song is Hatfish af.

Drink The River - Gabe Lee

And I can't drink the river to dry the land Bury the ocean beneath the sand But I can love you Until the tide pulls me under by and by

Rain On My Tin Roof - Seth Avett

And if there were ever a reason to stay Turn off my phone and become one with you and my bed It's the rain on my tin roof

The amount of times Hatter has to remind him he needs money for Nemo's tuition to keep him from calling out of work tbh

200% - Akdong Musician

MORE K-pop for the masses

It must be L.O.V.E 200% sure of that I want you really I mean really Really, I like you and my reddening face is evidence for that

Canon that Akmu is some of the Korean music Mu-yeol will try to get Hatter into lmao

Around Your Room - Kississippi

Throw your heart at me, I'm a sucker for you That's something that you might say and confidentially I'm a sucker for you too 'cause my heart's stuck that way Nothing's gonna change, gotta love that belly ache

This song makes me so FERAL about Hatfish, particularly this lyric

Steady when you are around me A babe in the woods for legitimate longing

Excuse me??? "A babe in the woods for legitimate longing" in your 40s and 50s because someone wants to love you, I'm weak

Twin Human Highway Flares - The Mountain Goats

Can't believe y'all thought there wouldn't be a Mountain Goats song, wow, that's clown behavior.

Sunset spilling through your earrings all over your body When we shut the motel room door behind us, we knew we'd hit the motherlode On the day that I forget you, I hope my heart explodes

Chateau Lobby #4 - Father John Misty

People are boring But you’re something else I can’t explain ...

First time, you let me stay the night despite your own rules You took off early to go cheat your way through film school You left a note in your perfect script: "Stay as long as you want," and I haven’t left your bed since

The Genius breakdown of the lyrics is *chef's kiss*

Strawberry Queen - Charles Wesley Godwin

Felt like Adam next to Eve staring at a fruit of God So I wrapped a bow around my heart and placed it in a box of cherry wood I asked her if she could take that box and do it good She smiled and said she would

*inhales* Okay, listen, the VIBE is more fitting than the actual lyrics of the song, let me explain. The singer is from West Virginia, he's a proud Appalachian man, and his wife who he wrote the song about is from Florida. He wrote this song about how he never, ever thought he could be with someone that wasn't also from the mountains, not from his culture/background, who didn't understand.

And that very much parallels Hatfish! Mu-yeol never would have thought he'd pursue someone who checked all three of these boxes: A. from the West, B. a human, and C. most importantly, a sorcerer. Sorcerers and fairies have MAD beef in Korea, sorcerers were barely on his radar to interact with back in Korea let alone befriend and catch feelings for. So yes, this is on here for how perfectly the song's energy matches!

Bring Your Love to Me - The Avett Brothers

Bring your love to me I will hold it like a dandelion One I want to save, one I want to keep From the breeze that follows me and no one else I can only stand here still And I can only hope you will Keep me in focus long enough to tell I'm trying to help

[starisenby]

VENT BELOW THE CUT

So uh yeah it really started around 5 I'd say but I doubt he actually was intentionally being bad but he'd actively wake me and my sister up at like 3 maybe 4 am and I was in kindergarten at the time and my sister is a year and a half older then me so she was in 1st or 2nd grade, now it was bad and he genuinely was trying to be nice but it took a turn for the worst when I was around I'd say 9 when this motherfucker CHEATED ON MY MOM WHO ONLY EVER DID HER BEST AND HAS BEEN THE BEST MOM I COULD ASK FOR WITH A COWORKER OF HIS, and she (my mom) found out about this and they argued and got divorced with split custody which fine but the worst part is that they'd argue at 2, 3 maybe 4 am. And so a little while afterwards he got a new girlfriend guess who it fucking was....

THE GIRL HE CHEATED ON MY MOM WITH. Now she's genuinely a great step-mom but still dude... things only got worse from there the thing is part of the split custody is that every day of every other week is me and my sister would go to his house from 3:30 - 6:30 and he'd just let me and my sister starve there I guess, he'd not tell us where food was or what food was there but just let us "figure it out™" and we didn't eat real dinner if your curious we ate snack food.

Now this next end has to get some context my step-mom had kids young her kids then had kids young leaving me and my sister as "aunts"(yuck) as kids....

So the oldest of my step-moms kids is my kinda step-sister more like aunt and she has five kids the oldest of them is about my age, yeah awkward.... he's very clearly favored by my dad I mean I'm not surprised my sister was his favorite beforehand she had the same interest in hockey after all, now adding on to this is that he'll let my step-nephew more like step-brother get a pass on stuff but as soon as I do it, I must be burned alive.... so yeah November 28th 2021 we had a HUGE argument that still sticks to me, wanna know what started it I had a stomachache. Yeah fucking seriously. Also something I forgot to mention is that every other weekend me and my sister would stay at my dad's. And the argument blew up and had my dad pretty much said "Just go to your mom's" now the thing is I wanted to make sure if he was for real and yes he was and then I texted my mom.... so when she got there I was in the garage ready to leave and so he said and I quote "what if I die tomorrow?" Yeah that stuck with me for a while, now you'd expect him to apologize within the next week nope. December 20th is when he "apologized" and said "can you start going over here again"...

Now next takes place in August 2021 I originally planned to go to a concert with my dad and sister but then got anxious and paranoid causing me to cancel and he basically said "your anxiety is fake shut up" because yes I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and OCD so like bro....

And then because this guy is just a genuine asshole, remember that bit about favoritism yeah guess who feels like they'll never be good enough and that if I was born a boy he'd like me even a little more and that if i was to kill myself he'd never even care, which then led me to want to self-harm that's right me... also the guy just constantly gaslights me so that's always fun, also I have those run-of-the-mill intrusive thoughts to just jump out windows or of roofs so yay...

Oh and i absolutely hate my body because I was AFAB and born with boobs that'd end up being rather round so as an enby it's great tbh

And let's not forget that he also called a video game character in his hockey game the f slur cause he lost..

Oh and the first end I'm pretty sure is what led to my god awful sleeping schedule that is borderline sleep deprivation

[pixie-dust-and-pain]

Your Son's Undead

Summary: Peter Parker might be a genius, but he's an absolute idiot sometimes. Like now, for example, when he's managed to convince the world he's dead. Warnings: Swearing? Nothing else tbh (Slight angst?? very slight this is just crack mostly) Words: 2468 STARKER FANS DNI DO NOT INTERACT I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU AND THEN I WILL SHIT ON YOUR GRAVES DO NOT INTERACT NOT STARKER NO

He’s screwed. He’s so painfully, horridly, royally, screwed he doesn’t even know why he’s standing there. On the plus side, he’s won the bet with Ned, which was to shock a visible, human reaction out of MJ before the school year ends (he’s sure it’s a feat he’ll never be able to accomplish again), on the downside, the twenty dollars he’s owed won’t do him much given that Tony Stark will personally drag him to Hell before he can use them. Oops.

Maybe he’ll be locked up in a tower like Rapunzel, grounded forever. That would make sense, Tony’s too nice and emotionally attached to kill him (he hopes). Besides, he didn’t spend all that time mourning his death simply to kill him when he comes back, right? Instead, he'll be stuck forever braiding his hair and singing to birds until a dashing man or woman come to steal him away. And Tony would then shoot them dead on spot. Unless it was MJ, Tony's a little (understatement) scared of her.

“Dude,” Ned rasps out in awed disbelief for the nth time that day, “You’re dead,”

Fuck it he knew that. “Yeah,” he tries to keep his voice level, nonchalant. He’d shown up at Ned’s house that afternoon, and had been graciously let in. After all, it was Spiderman who was dead to the world, not Peter Parker. MJ had been there too, probably over to grieve over his death, and had promptly moved to pinch his arm to make sure he was real. When she'd felt actual skin under her arms, and not mist or some magic shit, she'd pulled him into a hug, and then shoved him away just as fast, mumbling something about he was a loser and how he stunk. 

MJ blinks, as though she can’t believe herself, and then takes a deep breath, quite possibly restraining herself from attempting murder. “You faked your death,”

“Accidentally,”

“You know-” she breaks off, closing her eyes once more as she inhales a little forcefully. He wonders if she’s holding back tears, but when she opens them again and looks at him, he realizes that, no, she’s holding back homicidal rage. “We thought you died,”

“I was hurt!” He flails his arms around, as though trying to defend himself. The wound in his side burns, and he winces. Better not let Tony find out about that, though he's sure it'll heal soon. “I thought I’d sleep it off and it’d be no biggie, with my super-healing and all, I didn’t know I crawled into the wrong apartment and was presumed dead,”

He actually had known the former, he’d just been too tired to care, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. He’d been pronounced dead, for goodness’ sake, the only thing that hadn’t turned up was his body, which he was sure MJ would deliver right at the police station’s doorstep if he told her the whole truth. Besides, his neighbours had been out on vacation and, at the time, it had seemed like a great idea.

What he hadn’t taken into account during his blood-loss-induced haze, was that his aunt might have panicked, and maybe Tony cared enough to spend all day looking for him, scanning all of fucking America, calling up the president and shit when he hadn’t turned up. Of course he'd felt slightly giddy with happiness at that, Tony had cared enough for him to pull all the spots, MJ and Ned had bunked school, something he thought they weren't physically capable of, simply to show up to the Tower and demand a nationwide search for their friend. Ned, who sputtered and blushed every time he met Mr. Stark had demanded something for his sake. Okay, maybe he'd pleaded, and MJ has stepped in and demanded, but still. Tony had laughed and said he'd already got it covered, and then had proceeded to drink cold, sludge-like coffee with a shaking hand. 

“You were gone for two days,”

“I fell asleep,”

“What about the tracking device Mr. Stark has on your suit?” Ned suddenly pipes up after drafting a quick text to Happy about how peter’s alive lol. Adrenaline makes him do possibly the stupidest thing he’s done (apart from hacking a multimillion dollar suit, and FRIDAY that one time they wanted to change Mr. Stark’s title to Mr. Stank), and he ignores the texts he gets from Happy in response, something along the lines of ‘stupid teenagers letting out grief through hurting others’ as though he’s some teen-hating psychologist. He thinks he sees a link for an article, something to do with dealing with grief. He leaves him on seen. This is his revenge, his bitterness and rage and sadness, making him a little shit to these authority figures, because he might worship them, but he partly blames them for all this. He shouldn’t, Peter’s a stubborn little shit, and all they’ve done is help, honestly, but he does.

He sends a separate one to Tony. It just says, cum get ur son mr stork cunt see kinda cryin rn so oh hes unded btwz

They need to know.

Peter blinks, as though the thought has only just occurred to him, and MJ has to once again force every atom in her body not to attack him. She could take him. He might be an enhanced spider-boy thing but he’s a pussy, super-strength be damned.

She voices out as much, threatening him bodily harm if he doesn’t tell them exactly what the fuck happened. Ned holds back a comment about how Peter would probably like it.

“I-uh,” He flushes, actually looking embarrassed, and Ned has a horribly daunting realization.

“You disabled it,” Ned sputters out, barely able to believe Peter. For an absolute genius of a child, he sure lacks common fucking sense, “For the bet. You disabled it for the damn bet,”

Flash had bet them that they couldn’t sneak out to a party. Stupid, really, given that both their parents would be overjoyed at the prospect of them doing normal, teenage things. May would probably drive them there herself, and would give Peter a lecture on how he should drink, but not too much, and maybe not hook up but making out was fine. It filled him with dread.

But, of course ,he wouldn’t turn down a bet that simple, except, his suit was tracked, so he might have ‘accidentally’ turned said tracker off, and he might’ve gotten thrown in a lake, and then into a tree, and then into a wall, and then pummeled into the ground and shot at, and his tracker might have gotten a little broken. He’d meant to fix it, obviously, but he couldn’t just ignore someone’s cry for help. And the next thing he knew, he was in someone else’s bed, prying a bullet out his thigh and webbing up a stab wound on his abdomen, painting their bedspread red.

MJ is quick to connect the dots, and she turns to him, blankly, and says, “I would kill you but I’m guessing Tony Stark has that covered,” The sentence chills him to his bones. She pats his shoulder patronizingly, “Your funeral is at 3 today, don’t be late,”

*-*

He wonders if he’s the first person ever to crash his funeral. They’re all standing around a little Spiderman shrine, more than half of Queens, muttering words of solace and comfort. Tony stands away, so sure the kid is alive because he just can’t be dead. It’s not possible. Peter Parker will not die before him dammit.

The kid, his kid, he's sure, is alive somewhere, because there's no body and he's clinging on to every last bit of hope there is. God, the kid, the absolute genius child, fucking sunshine in a bottle or something, with his shit-eating grin and non-stop chatter and hero-worship, and his self-sacrificial self, all courage and smiles and everything Tony is, but better. He lost his kid. Because no matter what he says to the Avengers when they wiggle their brows or call him a 'dad', or to Pepper, when she smiles knowingly, there are some things he can't deny, one of them being that Peter Benjamin Parker is, in every way save biological, his child.

And then he feels guilty, the feelings he’d pushed away coming back in full force. It’s his fault the kid is dead. He should never have recruited him (even though he’d have gone around protecting Queens anyway), should have strictly reprimanded him (even though he knew it wouldn’t have done jackshit), should have done something. Another protocol, setting stricter rules with his aunt, getting Karen to check in with him every hour. He runs over the countless ways he could’ve avoided this, could’ve saved the kid, when he feels a hesitant tug at his sleeve.

This isn’t the first time someone’s cornered him while he’s mourning. He’s been ignoring people all day, sitting alone in his corner of misery, isolated from the world as he laments fate over and over again for taking away his child, because how can the universe be ever so cruel to a person? He lets himself stew in self-pity, no father, no son, pathetic, broken Tony Stark, who has everything, and yet, nothing.

He’s tired, distraught, and ready to snap at whoever it is before he comes face to face with Peter. He blinks, and Peter idly notices how everyone seems to do that whenever they see him. He reaches a hand out hesitantly, poking at the kid’s head, because this isn’t the first hallucination he’s had in the past 72 hours he’s been awake. His hand meets soft, fluffy, slightly matted, supposedly real, hair. He takes in a sharp breath, stumbling backwards, muttering about how he’s not real, how he’s not falling for the tricks his mind’s playing on him again.

“Mr Stark?” His kid says slowly, and that’s all it takes for him to break, reaching out to grab him, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

Tony Stark, to his absolute horror, makes a guttural sound, which he later realizes is a half-strangled sob. He’s ugly-crying now, reporters and media and dignity be damned, clutching the kid so close because he’s scared to let go. It feels like a dream, like the second he loosens his grip the child will disappear, turn into smoke or some shit. So he doesn’t. He holds Peter close to him for twelve minutes straight, incoherently telling him he loves him and that he’s okay and alive. Peter will later deny any and all claims of him having cried, too.

When he pulls away, eyes red-rimmed, dark circles somehow even more prominent, looking as though he’s aged ten years within a few days, Peter feels so painfully guilty, he wants to cry all over again. Tony doesn’t let him, though, instead, he grabs the kid by the arm and leads him to the car, stumbling over his words, something about a scan and FRIDAY.

"Mr. Stark," he whispers, and is met with a tired smile.

"Yeah, kid?"

I love you, thank you, I'm sorry. "You look like a Victorian mother who ate her kids to survive the Great Depression,"

"My asshole kid convinced everyone he was dead, the haggard appearance is expected," I love you too.

"What a bitchass kid," I'm sorry

"Hm, but he's my bitchass kid," I forgive you.

Someday, he'll figure out a way to tell Mr. Stark everything he has to say to his face. Someday. 

Happy looks at him for a long time when he climbs into the backseat of the car, gaping at him first, before muttering something about Ned, and wiping at his eyes to rid himself of something that looked suspiciously like tears as he speeds to the tower. Everyone else has been informed, and the Avengers have already promised to drop by the Tower to see the kid tomorrow (They would've the very same day, but Tony said something about rest and fragility, and they shut up. Bruce knew he was making shit on spot, he just wanted to be alone with the kid, but nobody had the heart to call him out on it) but Peter’s in Tony’s care right now, and he’s going to make sure the damn kid won’t die on him any time soon.

“Peter Benjamin Parker,” May’s voice rings out as they leave Dr. Cho’s care, and Peter suddenly regrets not letting MJ kill him. May strides over to him and she pats him down, checking for injuries as though he didn't just get scanned twice, before gathering him in her arms and proceeding to curse at him in Italian. He's sure May's coming up with half these curses on spot.

For the next hour, he sits as they both hug him, far too grief-stricken to do much more. He’s caressed and coddled and cried over until they finally realize that they have to yell at him. And then May begins cursing at him in Italian, and they form the oddest team of all, a sleep-deprived billionaire and an angry Italian woman, a mixture of languages and swears, with only one purpose in mind.

“I want an update even if you get so much as a single scratch-"

“Two minutes past curfew, that’s your grace period, otherwise I’m getting Tony to call the fucking military-”

“No Spidermanning for two weeks-"

“Three weeks,”

“Three months,”

“You’re grounded for the whole month,”

“What were you thinking?”

“We thought you were-” May breaks off, sniffling.

“There are protocols and tracking devices for a reason, Underoos, and we-when the news-kid, we just want you to be safe,”

Peter very pointedly does not tell them about the fact that he disabled the tracking device, although he suspects Mr. Stark already knows. He wants to save May from the aneurysm. He apologizes profusely, guilt eating him up, and he’s assured that it’s okay, that he’s alive and that’s all that matters, that they love him.

They decide on a punishment, no Spidermanning for two weeks, he’s grounded for a month, and no lab-time for two weeks, either, to which he protests with a groan. He deserves it, though, and is only allowed to show his face once in Queens as Spiderman, to assure them that he is very much alive.

Sometime later in the day, Tony finally checks his phone, and reads the message from Leeds twice before absolutely losing his shit as he clutches his kid close. He wipes his tears away, kissing the crown of Peter’s head, and runs his hand through his curls. “You’re undead,”

Peter has no idea what the absolute fuck he means, but he lets his slightly deranged mentor ramble on anyway, about storks, the undead, and some things he’s sure May would skin him alive for repeating.

[odetojeons]

No Better Canvas To Paint A Ruined Landscape — Lee Seokmin

request: hii can i request a sub!seokmin x dom fem reader?? you catch him touching himself and then he is super shy about it when you confront him!!<3

tags: soft dom and fem!reader, shy and sub!seokmin, cockring, orgasm control, light bondage, established relationship, praise kink, noona kink, semi-public sex (kind of?), snowballing, unprotected sex, blowjob, fluff at the end if you squint, seokmin being adorable, and potentially killing me with his cuteness

a/n: I’m a whore for sub seokmin. that’s all I have to say. definitely not alive after this. tbh this was my favorite tumblr smut until now all because seokmin. lee seokmin. yeah. bye.

word count: 7202

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin looks like he might combust into a thousand tiny Seokmins really soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You keep staring at him in interest, looking with an amused lifted eyebrow how his red face turns to the side to avoid your eyes like it’s some sort of plague. There’s a lonely drop of sweat running down his left temple, a hand coming to swap at it and freezing in the middle of the act when your eyes find each other, the blush creeping in his cheeks burning with an even darker shade as you watch fascinated the bob of his adam’s apple when Seokmin swallows nervously.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He jumps a little where he’s sitting when you nudge his feet with yours. Seokmin comically widens his eyes at you when you mouth “what’s going on?”, quick to shake his head what it seems like at least fifty times. A frown forms on your brows, your boyfriend being oddly nervous and suspicious is poking on your curiosity, especially when he excuses himself to the bathroom in a hurry.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You stare at his empty seat, the plate of food laying almost untouched on the table. It’s been a while since the both of you hosted a party on your house, so you wanted to make the experience good for your friends — and you know Seokmin does too, but for some reason he’s acting… whatever the way he’s acting —, having even put a lot of effort into dressing up for the occasion. Something must be wrong, so you excuse yourself from the friends who are sitting on the table and go through the little crowd, heading towards the bathroom.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Seok-ah?” you ask softly where you stand right in front of the door. No answers. You knock again, this time a little bit louder. Maybe he didn’t listen to you, the music loud enough to shake you all the way to your bones. Again, no answers. Your frown worsens, gripping the handle and turning it just to be met with an empty bathroom. “Seokmin?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He’s not there, and okay, there's definitely something wrong. Seokmin sometimes tends to go through stuff you have no idea about because he keeps thinking he might bother you with his problems, and you just want him to know that you love him so much that it pains you more to see him suffering in silence than hearing him talking about it. Overall, Seokmin is the biggest overthinker ever, your sweet and shy boyfriend, a ball of sunshine despite his little defects you’re so fond of. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You go to the master bedroom, your last hope to where he must be as your house doesn’t have many rooms. Worry settles deep within your stomach thinking that Seokmin might be sick or something.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He isn’t.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Quite the opposite, actually. Seokmin is more than healthy.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You were not even remotely prepared for what you find inside when you open the door of your room. Seokmin is standing in front of the old escritoire you bought from an antique store, one of his sprawled hands supporting the weight of his body on the desk and broad back dressed in a white social shirt, still turned to you as the music overlapped the sound of your arrival — everything normal at first, and you’re about to open your mouth to question if everything is alright with him when your eyes catch a movement.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin’s arm is working on something really fast, hand going up and down, tiny, soft noises coming from him, and your mind goes blank when the realization that Seokmin is jerking off sinks deep within your core.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s a shiver rocking on your body, head spinning.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Seokmin,” is what you say, monosyllabic and completely flabbergasted.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin snaps his head so fast in your direction you think he might have broken his neck for a second, eyes widening right before he closes them very tightly and moans loud enough that makes you want to close the door in fear of someone listening, but you’re too stuck in the fact that Seokmin almost just came to even be able to move from your spot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“F-fuck,” he cries out, the grip he has around the base of his cock almost painful, probably there to hold his orgasm back. You’re stunt into silence as he scrambles desperately to hide his beloved friend back into his pants, struggling with the zipper in the process because the bulge is too big.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Seokmin,” you say again, like it’s the only word that remains in your vocabulary. Your mouth goes dry, heat burning on your lower stomach when you look at the notebook in front of Seokmin and sees one of the videos you record to be his fap material when you’re not around, playing on the screen. But you are around. “What are you doing?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It’s more than obvious what he’s doing. Even so, you still find yourself asking.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin still hasn’t turned around. You know he must be very embarrassed right now — who wouldn’t anyway —, if the blush spreading all the way down to his ears and neck is anything to go by. His body stiffens when a soft moan comes from the notebook speakers, hands reaching to close the video and the screen so fast he knocks some things off of the table and into the ground.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Turn around,” you tell him, finally finding enough strength to close the door and lock it. Seokmin flinches at the sound, shoulders tensing, but he remains unmoving. “Now.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He flinches again, this time because of the finality in your tone, leaving no spaces for objections. Seokmin then complies, turning his body to you like every movement pains him deep within the bones, hands coming to cover the front of his pants and head hung low in shame.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You take a sweet moment to admire Seokmin’s figure; his shirt is open until the third button, firm and red chest peeking out of it, sweat glistening his skin to a beautiful shade of gold, biceps looking like it would pop out of the sleeves of his social shirt and lips swollen, probably because he must have bitten them really hard. Fuck, your boyfriend is so hot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You lift a finger and crook it a few times towards yourself. He gets the message, coming closer lightning fast and stopping right in front of you, still refusing to look you in the eyes. You had enough of this attitude, spinning him around so his back could be against the door and cradling his chin between your fingers to tilt his head enough to look at you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Aren’t you going to answer?” you question with a pout, voice poisonously sweet. Seokmin’s shiver doesn’t go unnoticed by you, satisfaction licking on your lower stomach.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I— I-I’m, I was…” Seokmin mumbles intelligibly, a moan escaping his lips when your nails sink onto his shoulder and the darkness swimming in your eyes leaves his legs weak. He can’t shiver, needs to remain composed or else he might embarrass himself further, if that’s even possible, might make you realize the reason why he’s like this, might make him—

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin shivers.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“‘M s-sorry.” he offers, hips bucking slightly when he hears your pleased hum.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Are you though, sunshine?” bodies pressing closer, you watch Seokmin’s arms twitch, not knowing if he’s allowed to touch you. You smile at that, biting at his lower lip. “You were so desperate to touch yourself you came here all alone and jerked off to one of my videos? You don’t seem very apologetic to me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He whines at your condescending tone, head hitting the door with a soft thud when you tilt his chin back to lick a hot stripe up his neck, pulling it to the previous position once you’re done teasing him a little. There’s a sound threatening to come out of you when you see how much want is written all over his face.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I-it’s because you look—” Seokmin’s sentence gets cut off in the middle when he feels the feather-like trace of your fingers on his hands that were still doing a very poor job of hiding the press of his cock to his pants. It brings tiny goosebumps all over his skin, Seokmin needing to take a deep breath before proceeding. “You look s-so hot with these clothes…”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your touch stills completely, and Seokmin’s heart might jump out of his thoracic cage any time soon, but even so he doesn’t stop talking.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“And, and t-the way you were dancing was just— j-just so fucking sexy,” he mumbles quietly, closing his eyes for a second like he’s remembering how you swayed your hips obscenely to the beat of the music earlier. A flash of a memory runs through your mind, Seokmin sitting on your couch, manspreading as he watches you with one of his legs moving up and down nervously. “Want to f-fuck you so bad.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah?” you tangle a hand on his hair, fisting it so you could pull his head backwards and pleasure yourself with the moan he gives you. Seokmin blinks at the ceiling, like he’s willing himself not to move. “My baby boy got hard watching me dance?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The pet name does something to him. It always does. Seokmin bucks his hips involuntarily, the front of his hands hitting your stomach as he ruts against his palms with such a whiny mewl you could swear you feel a punch to your lower stomach.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yes. So hard.” and his voice, so sweet and beautiful, makes your penties start to soak. His hot breath fans your face, chest heaving with the intensity of it. “I’m so hard for you, fuck.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You slap his hand away. Seokmin turns his head to look at you, eyes big like he has been caught doing something very wrong.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Lost your manners, sunshine?” grabbing at his wrists, you pry them away to take a better look at his bulge, finding endearing how his cheeks immediately go redder at that. It looks painful, the outline of his cock pressing tight against the fabric of his blue pants, and you try not to let the smugness seep through your voice when you notice a wet patch of precum on it. “You’re that desperate you even forgot how to ask?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You trap his hands behind his back; realistically, Seokmin could break free at any time he wants, with him being almost twice as bigger than you, but you know he wouldn’t do it because right now you got this kind of power over him that surrenders Seokmin putty, and it turns you on so much. He looks so good this way, back resting against the door, hips stuck to the front like he wants you to do something, eyes looking down at you with a hunger, a hunger to take what he wants already, but at the same time with an enormous amount of submission.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

And Seokmin is huge, not even just down there but in the rest of his body as well. Huge, thick thighs, huge chest, huge biceps; he is broad enough to tower over you even if the height difference wasn’t so big. And still, he chooses to give in to you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Everything about Lee Seokmin drives you insane.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please…” he says, barely above a whisper. With the door closed, it was more than enough for you to be able to listen even through the loud music going on outside. “P-please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please what?” you press further, fingers coming back to make a hot trail on his cock. Seokmin bucks forward a little, whining when you press a thumb on the cockhead.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hmmm,” is all he answers, face burning with shame when he averts his eyes elsewhere. Seokmin knows very well what you want him to call you, it only happens when you’re feeling extra mean and horny, but he’s always so shy about it even if he has called you that more times than you can count.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Adorable.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You sigh, letting go of his cockhead and wrists to cradle his face with your hands, swallowing the frustrated cry he lets out with a kiss. Seokmin takes a few seconds to react, mind in haze with all of the electrifying horniness shocking his body, and then you feel his hands hold on your waist tight enough to leave marks. He moans, as if having your lips on his is the best reward he could ever ask for, and you yelp when Seokmin turns you both around and slams your back against the door. Seokmin kisses you rough, tongue pressing so hard on yours your head ends up hitting the door with a faint noise.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Fisting a hand on his hair, you hold onto it tight enough to make him hiss at the slight, but pleasurable pain. Seokmin is trying to take what he wants and you’re having none of that, using the hold on him to control the pace of the kiss and tilt his head to the place where you want it to go. You suck at his bottom lip, sinking your teeth in the plump flesh just so you could soothe it later with your tongue — and do that again, and again, and again. It doesn’t take long for him to be putty with your ministrations, knees buckling under his weight until he’s kneeling on the floor. You bend down slightly as he does so, kissing his breath away.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Look who’s getting all bold now,” you scoff when you part away, Seokmin’s eyes half lidded and swollen lips open to take big lungfuls of air. “Yeah, that’s right.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You stare down at him, the sight of your taller boyfriend on the floor making something evil twist in your belly.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Kneel for me like a good boy and I’ll let you fuck me like a bad one.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please,” Seokmin begs at that, moaning when he closes a hand around his cock. You tsk, grabbing his jaw tightly and squeezing it between your fingers. “Wanna come.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Stop that before I decide to punish you,” you admonish, watching his eyes go wide for what it feels like the hundredth time this night and his hand falls uselessly on the side of his body. “Actually, you know what? Take your clothes off and lay on the bed.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin blinks a few times as if processing the order, walking over to the bed with trembling legs. He looks at you for some seconds, face burning red, and starts to unbutton his social shirt. You keep watching in silence, cooing at the cuteness of your boyfriend, right before the breath is punched right out of your lungs when his toned abs come into view. No matter how many times you see his body, it never fails to make you incredibly horny — the duality between his adorable face and the rest of him leaves you speechless. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You clear your throat when Seokmin covers his chest, embarrassed with being stared so attentively. Not your fault he’s so hot.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Come here, sunshine,” you purr, sitting on the other side of the bed and patting on the space beside you. He nods a little as if telling himself to obey, hopping onto your side and laying on his back after he finishes taking off his shoes. “Take your pants off too.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

This time Seokmin complies faster. It must hurt a lot, seeing the big bulge down there, and his fingers fumble to undo the button and the zipper so fast you’re surprised he didn’t hurt himself in the process, taking his pants and boxers completely off and throwing somewhere neither of you care. Seokmin’s hard cock slaps against his belly with a soft sound, smearing precum on his lower stomach. It’s an angry shade of red for being denied for so long, the wet mushroom tip making your mouth water as his hips kick upwards with the sheer need of touching it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin looks at you with big, expecting eyes.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Seems like you were so desperate you couldn’t even hold yourself back from jerking off like a horny teenager,” you start, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. Seokmin visibly trembles when you pull away, rummaging through your nightstand’s drawer to find what he knows very well it’s a cockring. “So why don’t you do exactly that for me? And maybe, if you put on a good show, I will let you come.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin stares at the golden thing between your fingers and swallows, taking it when you hand it to him. He looks at the ring like it’s a dessert — you know how he loves being edged even if he won’t admit it, enjoys being denied just so the sensation of his orgasm could be bigger later —, closing a fist around his cock and pumping it a few times before slidding the ring down until it fits tightly at the base. Seokmin’s needy moan drowns your own, sounds like music to your ears, hips thrusting into his hand and he can’t possibly hold himself back.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hgnnn, fuck,” he whines, pace fast where he does up and down movements on his cock. You lick your lips, mouth salivating with the size of Seokmin’s length. He’s so big, the thickness of him being so much it pleasantly hurts to suck him off, and it doesn’t help that he has such beautiful, veiny hands. “F-fuck, feels so, ah, so good.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin’s eyes catch yours looking at him like he’s a whole banquet being served just for you, the want and darkness in your eyes surrendering him into a shy mess. He blushes furiously, arm coming up to hide his face from embarrassment and legs pressing together to try and cover his cock — of course it doesn’t hide, Seokmin is too huge and too hard for that.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Don’t do that, sunshine,” you admonish, cooing when he shakes his head. Fingers closing gently around his wrist, you pry his arm away to take a better look at your shy boyfriend. You smile at him, endeared with his cuteness. “Let me see you being beautiful for me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Y-yeah?” Seokmin murmurs, and you nod at him, fingers teasing on his nipple. His back arches softly, eyes closing and a whimper escaping through his swollen lips.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah,” you echo, too entranced on his noises to possibly think straight. Big breaths; you will your impatience down, wanting to see Seokmin pleasuring himself some more. “Such a big cock. Makes me want to suck you off until my mouth hurts.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The lewd sound Seokmin lets out to that punches a moan straight out of you, fucking up into his own hand as if your words were the ones doing so. He presses a thumb on his cockhead, spreading the precum all over the tip and slipping his fist further down when he concludes it’s wet enough. Seokmin writhes on the bed, unable to contain the hot surge of pleasure coursing through his veins. His free hand flies to his left nipple, pinching it with more strength than you thought he would — it makes his whole body tremble, head sinking back into the soft pillows and fingers letting go of the red bud to squeeze the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Please, ah, p-please, wanna— W-wanna cum so bad,” Seokmin begs, wants your hands on him. Of course it’s smaller than his own, but you know how to flick your wrists just right to make him feel good, and he needs that right now. If they were your fingers, they would warp perfectly around his cock, even if they didn't close all the way around it as you stroke him. Or maybe you’d tease him a little, as you sometimes do to him when you want to be a little mean. It always pulls the sweetest and loudest whines from Seokmin, you saying that his reactions are cute. “Touch me, please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I am touching you,” you tell him with a pout, referring to the caress you’re doing on his biceps. You chuckle when he makes a frustrated groan at your retort, knowing very well how you’re going to be today.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin doesn't say anything else — knows it won’t make you touch him anytime sooner —, breath hitching and hips shuddering with pleasure. He continues to slowly rub his finger over the flushed head of his cock in teasing little pats. There’s a bit of squirming on the bed, Seokmin trying to grasp on his own memory the sensation of your hands on him, playing with his thickness with a tiny smirk on your lips and it’s like you enjoy seeing him writhe around in desperation. Seokmin opens his eyes to find you with that exact same expression, moaning when he fucks up into his hand again after he fists his cock, panting heavily.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin lets out a soft cry of relief, knows he should be more invested in putting on a show for you than concentrating on his own pleasure, but you love anything he does anyway. Also, it’s not like he has enough patience to hold himself back, has been hard for such a long time his balls may even start to turn purple soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

So he plants his feet on the bed, hips kicking faster, rougher, moans high and wanton as he fucks his own hand. Seokmin watches you intensely, how you look so good with those clothes, lips swollen from the kissing and dark eyes lusting for him. He thinks about your mouth on his cock, how you look so pretty with the girth inside it and holding his hips down when Seokmin thrashes around, too desperate to cum down your throat to stop himself.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your imagination works on something similar as you enjoy Seokmin falling apart right beside you. What would be his reaction if you pressed your feet on his cock where he sat across the table almost an hour ago? Would Seokmin keep talking with his friends, disguising the way his breath would turn shaky and unsteady? Would he pretend that his girlfriend isn’t rubbing him off right then and there, regardless of who could hear or see the obscene noises of him moaning or the way you move your feet on him?

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You would love if I touched you right there under the table, wouldn’t you?” you purr your thoughts out, watching the pad of his fingers play with his nipples. Seokmin has always been sensitive there, and honestly it turns you on so much. He nods fast at your question as he pinches the bud, rolling it between his thumb and index finger. “But instead of telling me, you went to our room and jerked off to one of my videos without asking for permission.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin turns his face away, cheeks burning at what you’ve said. You weren’t exactly talking about the video when you said permission, but rather him touching himself. He knows very well he needs to ask you before doing so.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin is nearly on the cusp, but knows he won’t trip over and orgasm solely because of the cockring. It makes him almost cry from frustration, hand jerking himself off furiously and it’s always like he’s on edge, unable to come but the pleasure high enough to make him think that he will. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I-I didn’t want to, hmmm, ruin y-your party.” Seokmin admits with a small cry, not wanting you to look at his face right now. He struggles to gather words, mind in a haze from neediness. “‘M sorry— s-sorry, please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Awwww, my sweet baby boy. You’re not ruining anything.” you coo, cradling his face between your hands and turning it towards you, his eyes still not meeting yours even so. You caress his blushed cheek with your thumb, pecking his lips one time and noticing how Seokmin shivers beautifully at the pet name, hand still working fast and rough on his cock. “Honestly, watching you fall apart for me is way better than any party.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin is visibly affected by the affirmation, head sinking further into the pillow and hips twitching where they thrust up into his fist.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So beautiful for me, so stunning, my pretty baby boy.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Fuck, and he can’t take it.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Noona,” Seokmin moans out, shame twisting his gut along with pleasure, but it feels so good to see what the name does to you that he suddenly is not so embarrassed anymore. “Please, please t-touch me—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck, Seokmin,” a hand grabs at his jaw, your body trembling with the need sinking deep within your bones. It’s so fast your mind spins and for a moment you think you might pass out with all the blood surging down to your core. “Shit, call me that again, baby. Come on.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“N-Noona— Noona, please, I’ve b-been good,” Seokmin begs, writhing all over the bed, and you think he might start crying very soon if you don’t give him what he wants. “I-I’ve been so good, ah, just— J-just give me what I want, p-please.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So fucking good for me,” you moan, getting on top of his thighs and kissing him stupid. Seokmin lies plient underneath you, pace not even faltering. If anything, it became faster, the little kicks of his hips making you bounce on his lap. “Want you inside me.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin grabs your waist at that, but you only hold onto his wrists and pin them down beside his head. You move up on his lap until you’re sitting on his hard cock, the wetness of your folds seeping through your panties only serving to remind you how you’re still with your clothes on.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“God, look at you,” there’s a whine, and you’re not sure who lets out, you or him. You move your hips over his cock, like you’re riding it, and the stimulation on your needy cunt makes you squeeze Seokmin’s arms bruisingly tighter. “So desperate… I wanna do really bad things to you.” 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“T-tease me—” Seokmin starts, words being drowned on a choked out moan, and it has you stunt, him saying something like that since he’s usually more quiet in the bedroom. At least when he’s not crying or pleading, of course. “Tease me until I’m begging for it.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The smile you give him is dirty and dark, nearly a sneer, and he throws his head back. If there’s one thing you love about Seokmin is how he enjoys submitting to you. He feels pleasure on letting go as much as you feel taking over, especially knowing that if he wanted to, he could manhandle you right now, push your face on the bed, pull your ass up and fuck you until you cry. But Seokmin won’t. He doesn’t want to. He loves having you on top of him, teasing him, touching him, ordering him around.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah? Fuck, such a dirty baby boy,” you roll your hips to emphasize your point, basking in the way he writhes so beautifully underneath you. So ready to be torn apart and pieced back together later. Seokmin presses back, moving himself obscenely. “Stay still.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Reaching to the nightstand again, you move your hand blindly there until you’re able to pull a soft blue silk from the drawer. Seokmin widens his eyes at it, gulping at the implications behind the fabric.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re not obeying me today,” you admonish. To be honest, you would rather get the ropes or the cuffs that are in the wardrobe, but your own impatience and desperation ends up winning and choosing what’s closer. “Touching yourself without my permission, not begging properly, trying to take what you want and now… You can’t even do something as simple as staying still?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“N-Noona, Noona,” is all he’s able to say, body shaking from wanton. Seokmin let’s you pass the silk through his wrists with practiced ease and ties them up together, and then at the headboard. This way his arms are restricted, biceps bulging due to the position. “I’ll be g-good. I’ll be your— y-your good boy, please—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I’ll be the judge of that,” you tell him instead, fisting his hair and yanking his head backwards. You kiss his chin, parting away to finally take your clothes off.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin stares all the way through it, dark eyes drinking the sight of your naked body, the faint sound of the music adding to both of your fuels like a dirty soundtrack.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Like what you see?” you tease with a raised eyebrow, smiling at the way his cheeks turn red.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Fuck yes,” Seokmin answers even so, wrists pulling at the silk trapping them as if he’s trying to break free and touch you. The sincerity in his voice makes you blush softly. “Y-you’re so hot, Noona. Can’t believe I have you all for myself.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s something possessive burning at his eyes that has butterflies dancing on your lower stomach. You suck a deep breath, leaning down to capture his lips on yours. It’s far too messy for your own good but you don’t really care, wanting nothing more than to kiss the breath out of Seokmin’s lungs.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You succeed, pleasure swelling up in your insides when you have him panting, mind in a haze and chest heaving uncontrollably. He lies there, pliant for you as you lick one of his nipples. The reaction is immediate, Seokmin’s hips kicking up and his hard cock consequently slipping between your chest. A shiver rocks all over his body, your teeth biting at the red bud and sucking at it until his voice gets an octave higher and so, so sweet it makes you moan.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You bring your free hand to thumb at the other nipple, tongue doing circles all over it. Seokmin is desperate, thrashing on the bed as if he’s being electrocuted. You bite harder for good measure, snatching at his waist with a firm grip and pining it back down on the mattress.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So sensitive, my cute baby boy” you appreciate with a hum, making sure to press your chest onto his overwhelmed cock. It’s painted in an angry shade of red now, the veins protruding against the length. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There’s spit obscenely connecting your mouth to his nipple, and the realization coils heat on your blood and pumps arousal all over.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“People might hear you if you don’t keep it down, you know?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

What you’re not expecting is how he tenses at that, muscles contracting, back arching off of the bed and hips stuttering where it fucked his cock between your chest. Seokmin moans, so loud you instinctively put a hand over his mouth to make him quieter. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

When his body falls limp again, the room is full of silence, other than the sound of his labored breath filling the air after you let go of him. You’re completely quiet though, still processing what just happened, head spinning.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You came,” it wasn’t a question, the scene that just unfolded in front of you being enough confirmation to your suspicions. “You just had a dry orgasm.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your tone was full of amusement and unbelievaness. You can’t quite grasp that fact; it’s not the first time he has used a cockring, but it’s the first time Seokmin actually was able to come with it on and also being barely touched. Laughing incredulously, you trail a finger down his still hard cock, watching him squirm violently underneath you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“W-wait, Noona, I—” his words get cut off by his own moan when you take the cockring off, throwing it somewhere in the room as you hurry to fetch yet another thing from your nightstand. “Ah, f-fuck, I j-just came, N-No— Noona—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You close a fist on him after pouring lube on his cock, watching in pure ecstasy the look of bliss turn into one of frustration. You feel Seokmin’s body twitch to the touch of your hand and react heavily as you keep going, with no remorse, slicking his cock up and flicking your wrist faster and faster.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You know what to say if you want me to stop,” you tell him. It’s overwhelming, really, but nothing could ever top the sensation of your fingers around him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

It makes Seokmin’s brain fuzzy, and it’s too much, his cock already sensible from his recent orgasm, but at the same time he wants to squirm away, he feels the mind numbing pleasure sink deep within his bones. Seokmin moans louder, pulling at the fabric binding his wrists in place, and shaking violently on the bed.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Ah! Fuck! Noona… f-fuck… ahh—” he pleads, swollen lips trembling, abs contracting and relaxing, the blushing red running all the way down to his chest, and legs kicking when he tries to get out of your grip because it feels so damn torturously good. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You take it all in, the burn of arousal lighting a flame on your lower stomach. All mine. You lick at your bottom lip, letting out a soft whine as Seokmin whimpers high in his throat, his hips moving, back arching, head thrown back — beautiful and yours.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Want me to stop, sunshine? Then say your safeword,” Seokmin groans at your remark, feeling tears well up in his eyes, body writhing out of control. He moans again, shaking his head a no as he humps his hips up into your hand.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“A-ah! Ah! Noona… ah! Hgnnn, Noona, p-please…” he begs, hands trembling and he actually thinks he might go crazy soon.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Dirty boy, had a dry orgasm even with a cockring just from thinking people might hear you,” you say, tone soft and gentle despite your ministrations. “Should have tied you up there, on the chair, and overstimulated you in front of everyone else.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You press a thumb on his cockhead, so hard you see a tear finally run down his cheek. Seokmin looks beautiful like this. So beautiful.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Almost came earlier from being caught jerking off too,” you add, brushing a strand of his hair behind his ear. “My sunshine is a little bit of an exhibitionist, isn’t he?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The fight has already left him, leaving Seokmin a stuttering mess. He only moans and shakes his head and pleads and you actually feel a little bad for the cry he breathes out when you let go of his cock. It’s short livid though, the hurry to rearrange yourself and sit on his lap making you almost fall on him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin doesn’t comment on your desperation though, doesn’t even have the strength to, and watches you line him up against your soaking cunt like you’ll die if you don’t get to ride him until sunset, the party long forgotten.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Need you inside, need you,” you moan as you sink on his cock. Today morning you fucked, Seokmin hugging you and thrusting inside you lazily when he was spooning you just after you woke up, but it still feels almost like too much, the stretch of his cock splitting you open leaving you gaping. “So damn big.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You open your eyes — don’t even know when you closed them — finding the prettiest view you could ever have. Seokmin’s fingers turned white from how hard he’s gripping the fabric around his wrists, and you think for a second that he might break the headboard, if the way he’s pulling at the silk is anything to go bye. The sweat goldens his skin, a gorgeous contrast with the redness tinting his face, neck and the beginning of his chest. And it’s stunning, really, his eyebrows frowned from pleasure, tears in the corner of his eyes and lips swollen from all the rough kissing.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

There is no better canvas to paint a ruined landscape than Lee Seokmin.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

He gasps, throwing his head back when you lift yourself up until only the tip of his cock is inside, and slam yourself back down, pelvis flush against Seokmin’s. You fall in a comfortable rhythm from there on; riding him like a pro, making sure to clench as tight as you can just to see him sob and plead and beg for whatever it is that you’re in the mood or willing to give him.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“G-god— I l-lo—” he tries, struggling to get words out with the way he’s bouncing on the bed with the force of your hips fucking down of his cock. “I love— I love y-you, N-Noona, Noona, fuck—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Seokmin,” you moan, holding his face between your hands. It’s barely a kiss when you lean in to smash your lips on his, more like a moment in which your breath mingles with his and you both become one.  “Seok-ah, Seokminnie, sunshine— you sound so, so pretty and sweet, my beautiful baby boy. I love you so much.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“U-untie, please,” Seokmin cries out, pulling harder at the restraints. “Wanna t-tou— ah, touch you, please, I have— h-have been so good—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“You’re always good, baby,” you reassure him, reaching out with fumbling fingers to undo the knot on his wrists. “Come on, sunshine. Fuck me as hard as you can.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your brain can’t even process what happens as soon as he’s free; there are big hands on your hips, Seokmin planting his feet on the bed and fucking up inside you so hard you’re not able to support yourself up, body falling limp on top of his. He’s moaning by your ear now, so high and affected, and you think you can actually feel the spit running down from the corner of his mouth and sticking to your shoulder.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“S-shit, shit, Seokmin,” you whimper, louder than you ever had this night, can’t even rock your hips back because Seokmin is holding you tight and pulling you down on his cock, pace brutal and unrelenting. “You’re s-so desperate, fuck.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Wanna cum, w-wanna cum,” he keeps saying, burying his face in the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You feel his lips there, sucking the skin between his teeth and biting at it in a weak attempt to muffle his moans. Seokmin has always been the most vocal between the two of you, but you know it’s useless at this point, the people in your house probably know what is going on by now. “P-please, please, Noona, Noona— Want— N-need—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Before you can even answer him, the chant of “Noona, Noona, Noona” leaving his lips like a prayer has your orgasm hitting you suddenly. Your whole body tenses, muscles contracting tightly as the mind numbing sensation washes all over you, and you don’t know how much time you spend coming but when you come back to yourself Seokmin is still fucking you like it’s the last thing he will ever do.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You put a trembling hand on his chest and use the other free one to grab at his wrist, signaling for him to stop. At that, Seokmin starts crying. Like really crying.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“N-no— Let m-me come, let me— L-let me come, please, please, please,” he begs, and you coo at him. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby,” you peck his lips gently, wiping the cascading tears with your thumbs. “I want you to come on my face. Can you do that for me, hm, sunshine?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin stares at you with big wide eyes and you think you might die from how cute he is. He nods what it seems like a hundred times.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Words,” you remind him with a soft, calm voice, and smile when he answers a meek yes, please. “Good boy.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin blushes, sniffing a little and lifting his upper body up to have a better view of your lips descending on his cock. You kiss the tip one time, giving it a kittenish lick, and suckle at it hard enough to prove the salty taste of precum, not wanting to tease him more since he has been so good. Seokmin shivers, hips contorting on the bed, and you feel pride swell inside you when you realize he’s trying to stay still. 

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You give his thigh a gentle pat, licking at the underside of his cock and bobbing your head a few times. You grab at the base of his length, slaps it on your tongue and look up at Seokmin. A small part of you gets embarrassed with the way he’s watching you so intently, but it’s quickly replaced with a burning need to see him coming.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“G-gonna cum, cum, I-I’m— I’m coming, shit, fuck, hgnnn, N-Noona—” you hum at his cries, the last warning you give him before reaching up and taking one of his nipples between your fingers; you twist it as hard as you can, and then he’s coming.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Seokmin moans, more like screams, and he arches forward, fingers flying to grab your hair so hard it hurts a little. There’s cum shooting out of his cock, your hands helping him out as the white ribbons fly across your face. Most of it lands on your mouth, some on your lashes and cheeks, some on his thighs and abs, and some even end up hitting your hair.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The thing is that Seokmin doesn’t stop coming. His hips keep twitching, cock slipping and he thrusts on your face, unable to keep himself still as he rides his orgasm. After what seems like a good few minutes of him coming, Seokmin falls limp on the bed, his eyes closed, chest heaving with his labored breath, and looking completely fucked out.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You’re quick to kiss him, his tongue pushing against yours when he tastes the leftover of his orgasm. His hips kick miserably, a little bit of come sliding down his softening cock.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Holy shit,” is what he says after a few minutes of silence, laughing weekly. You follow Seokmin, laying down beside him as you do so. “I think that was the best orgasm of my life.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I think so too,” you agree, Seokmin moving his body to lay on his side and take a better look at you. He brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, his heart eyes making butterflies dance on your stomach. The fact that he’s looking at you like that even so you’re dirty with come, sweat and possibly spit makes you want to marry him. “So, you have an exhibitionism kink.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

The affirmation seems to have caught him off guard, his cheeks warming up adorably as he coughs. You giggle when Seokmin tries to turn his back on you.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“I hate you,” he mumbles with a pout.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Nah, you don’t,” you dismiss, and you’re right, he doesn’t. He could never. “Maybe we should try that out later?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Try what?”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Me tying you up in a chair and making you come in front of everyo—”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Shut up!” Seokmin laughs and yells at the same time, hitting a pillow on you. You just grab it and throw it somewhere in the room. “You’re dirty.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“So is you,” you add with a smile. Seokmin turns around and pulls you by the waist.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Yeah,” he admits, hugging you tightly. It should be disgusting considering both of your conditions, but it only feels right. “Only dirty for you.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

You scoff, mortified.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Now you shut up,” you swat at his — incredibly big and hot — arm, his giggles making all types of things to your heart. “Fucking sap.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

“Hmm hmm,” Seokmin hums, and looks at you like that again. Full of love and respect and content, and there’s no better feeling than this. Together. With him. “A complete sap.”

⠀ ⠀ ⠀

⠀ ⠀ ⠀