#tbh it’s been a second since I’ve last had a comic focusing on these two

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike and Michael compare nightmares,,

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[panharmonium]

next round of in-progress naruto thoughts under the cut

[i actually haven’t progressed that far from where i was last time, honestly, but i could feel myself getting to a stage where i had some things i needed to write up.]

fyi, this one is a little more gripe-y than usual - still enjoying myself, but there are some things in the current arc that are bugging me.

[spoiler policy disclaimer first, as always: I am watching naruto for the first time and have only gotten to the point where naruto and bee break out of the island barrier and leave to join the war.  i am trying to avoid spoilers, so please don’t interact with this (tags included, because the notifications now show them to me automatically) with any spoilery commentary, including even general things like “oh i love this show but it gets less good after X point” or “X season is better than Y season” or any general assessments of quality/likability/etc re: future seasons.  Thank you! <3 ]

anyway, to go ahead with my grousing -

there are a couple things about this current arc that have me feeling "ehhh.”

1) too many dead people

i’ve personally always been lukewarm on the “revive/reanimate dead characters for the Confrontation Value” trope, which is probably due to me having been a comics fan for so long (i was pretty deep into DC-land during Blackest Night, and that’s not even the first/last time this sort of thing has been done there, so).  i’m not saying it CAN’T be done in an interesting way, but most of the time my experience with it has been that it’s kind of cheap/redundant storytelling.  it usually doesn’t add much to an emotional arc, for me, and when it retreads an emotional arc that did have a strong conclusion, i feel like all it does is weaken the original story.  

so like - places where i feel like shippuden does this well are with minato and kushina.  i found both of those scenes with naruto to be powerful moments that added something new to the story/to naruto’s development.  (but they’re not even part of the whole reanimation jutsu plotline, which is what i’m mostly feeling “eh” on, so it’s not even the greatest example.)

a place where i’m kind of in the middle is with asuma.  on the one hand, i really don’t think that this needed to happen, because the original story arc with him was SO strong.  however, they did kind of redeem themselves in a way by focusing the redux on choji instead of shikamaru, so at least they were still saying/exploring something something new.

places where i’m still pretty dubious are pretty much...everyone else.  i’m just not sure...well, i don’t know.  i can’t really say definitively how i feel about it until i get to the end of the arc and see how it ends, but at the current moment, i’m just not sure what we get out of seeing people like zabuza+haku, lady chio, itachi, nagato, etc....ALL of those stories had such powerful endings; it just makes me leery of these “resurrections” invalidating everything we saw previously/weakening the impact of what came before.

2) mixed messaging

this is my bigger gripe, and it’s something i’ve kind of had floating on the edges of my mind for a long time, but this season especially is highlighting it.

the one thing that is guaranteed to make me frustrated about this show (besides its obvious disinterest in female characters) is when it starts to lean super hard into the “Naruto Is The Only One Who Can Do It!” for every single task that needs to be completed.  and i know this is a stupid thing to complain about when the show is literally titled “Naruto,” but the reason it gets frustrating is because the initial message of this show was never “one super special person must do everything on their own and save everyone else.”  the original message of this show was teamwork.  

the very first lesson kakashi teaches the kids (and the foundation upon which the rest of the story has been built) is “you are stronger together.”  if you had all come at me together, you might have been able to take [the bells]!  he specifically criticizes naruto for working alone: “naruto - you do EVERYTHING on your own.  EVERYTHING.”  and that’s understood to be the Wrong Thing; it’s the reason naruto ends up tied to the stump.  but in the last few seasons especially (though there have definitely been previous moments where this has shown up before) the ONLY thing we keep hearing is how naruto has to accomplish everything by himself.  

it didn’t bother me in the Pain arc; i actually thought that confrontation was appropriate and necessary for naruto’s development.  but ever since then, it’s escalated to a point where now it’s like - “naruto is the only one who can fight sasuke!  naruto is the only one who can defeat madara!  naruto is the only one who can stop the war!  naruto is the only one who can erase everybody’s hatred!”  

and that’s the point at which i start to get frustrated, because my mind is like “okay, and the other characters are going to be doing...what, exactly?”

again, maybe it’s stupid to complain about that when the show is literally titled “Naruto.”  but i don’t think so.  title notwithstanding, this story at its heart was, in the beginning, an ensemble show with four main characters, whereas nowadays, the messaging is that only one of those characters can actually accomplish anything.  so i get kind of resentful, when i’m told that the other members of the team can’t do anything but step back and hold naruto up, because the essential message of this story has ALWAYS been “teamwork is more important than anything.  you are NEVER stronger by yourself.  we ALL have something to contribute.”

right now, the other characters feel like they’ve just been shunted off to do busywork.  none of them have grown or changed at all since the end of season 10 (and even the end of season 10 was starting to slide into the “only naruto can do anything about sasuke in the end blah blah” - yes it’s a huge pet peeve of mine but it is what it is; whatever; moving on).  we haven’t even SEEN sasuke since the end of season 10.  there’s been no consideration given to how kakashi is handling being drafted into a second war and being put in charge of 20,000 lives (and his clash with zabuza was just a vehicle for all the characters to reflect once again on how great naruto is).  there’s been virtually ZERO attention given to how sakura is handling things, minus that one scene where she’s looking at gory pictures from the previous great ninja war.  everybody is just marking time, punching a bunch of identical white zetsus until naruto can come solve the problem and wow everyone with his new abilities.

part of my annoyance might just be due to the fact that the timeline is so wonky due to filler arcs - it feels like ages have passed for me, but in-universe it really hasn’t been all that long.  but i also think there are legitimate reasons for me to be frustrated, when the show introduces things and then just unceremoniously drops them without any indicator of when they might be picked up again.  like - the uchiha genocide reveal was (i thought) a Huge Fucking Deal that should have Major Repercussions - but it’s just kind of.....disappeared as an issue???  and yamato - he’s been CAPTURED!!!!!!  but the show has not shown a single character reacting to this, or even being informed that it happened, and i think that’s shitty, actually.  yamato isn’t a minor character.  he’s been naruto’s personal guardian since season 2.  he has done SO MUCH for the kids, and he is kakashi’s friend, and i think it is shitty to have him get captured by the same people who experimented on him as a child and then not spend a second or two making it clear that other characters CARE about this.  

anyway.  this is just something that’s been creeping up on me as time goes on, and the last few episodes of “Naruto is the Savior of the Entire World” talk just made it feel more immediate, i guess.  plus the new intro (which i know may not be reliable; sometimes they show things that never happen) had a shot of naruto fighting itachi, and i think that tipped me over the edge, lmao, because you know what?  enough!!!!!  naruto can’t be the one who gets to do EVERYTHING!  some stories are not about him!  there are other characters who have relationships that are not about naruto.  there are places where other characters should be able to accomplish things naruto can’t do.  the other main characters should be allowed to complete their personal arcs, separate from (not just secondary to) naruto’s journey.

like - just - this is how i feel: this show started out as a story about a group of four people, and the root theme was “teamwork is everything.”  i don’t like how the show has slowly started to mutate into a story about naruto’s “solitary” quest to save sasuke, when we have seen MANY TIMES that: 

a) sakura was the first of the kids who even knew that something was wrong with sasuke, while naruto remained utterly oblivious all the way through shonen jump (and partway into shippuden, tbh)

b) kakashi in the past has connected with sasuke in ways that NEITHER of the two kids have been able to achieve

i just don’t like it.  i don’t like how S10 had sakura say the line “naruto...you were the first one to ever see the darkness in sasuke...” when she’s reflecting on their fight on top of the hospital, because that is a LIE.  it’s a blatant retcon.  of the kids, sakura was the one who knew from the very beginning that something was wrong with sasuke.  she was the one who was with him when he had that semi-dissociative episode during the bells test.  she was the one who was with him during all the curse mark stuff in the forest of death.  she was the one who knew something was off when he challenged naruto to a fight - naruto was just psyched that sasuke wanted to “spar” with him!  and SHE was the one who suspected that sasuke might do something as drastic as leave the village - naruto explicitly told her not to worry; that sasuke was totally fine; he would never ever do something like that!

like - the show already barely gives sakura anything for herself; now they try to take this away from her, too?  and give it to naruto?  to hammer in a kind of connection between naruto and sasuke that demonstrably did not exist??  (i’m not saying that naruto and sasuke don’t have their own important relationship!  but it is just provably untrue that naruto was the person who understood sasuke best.  shonen jump goes out of its way to demonstrate how clueless naruto is about what sasuke is really like and what he’s going through.  naruto is SHOCKED that sasuke would go to orochimaru.  he doesn’t realize that their fight on top of the hospital is anything more than their usual rivalry business.  when sasuke pops out of the coffin behind kimimaro, naruto waves and starts laughing, because he thinks sasuke is still on their side and is going to run right home!  and even in shippuden, when naruto hears that orochimaru is dead, he gets all excited and goes “so sasuke must be on his way back to the leaf village!!! :D”  like.  he just doesn’t get it.)

and i won’t really get into kakashi’s side of things here, because i would end up writing too much, but suffice to say that i am just...wary of the way it feels like recent parts of the show are trying to minimize or...push aside the real, textually-documented connections that kakashi and sakura had with sasuke in favor of “Only Naruto Can Help!”  it frustrates me.  kakashi made inroads with sasuke that neither of the kids ever achieved.  sasuke talks to kakashi in a more honest way than he ever does with either of his peers, even when he’s out of his head with rage.  and i would prefer to see this show taking the angle that all three of sasuke’s team members are going to be indispensable for saving him.  

you know.  like teamwork.

[allislaughter]

ART!

A look at some of my best pieces from each month this year! I started two new comics this year, did a 100 day challenge, got into a new fandom enough to make OCs and challenge myself by both writing and illustrating multiple fanfics. Creative-wise, not a bad year!

Additional notes about each piece shown under the Read More:

January: From an RP I did with @glowstickia - it’s Footlight telling his life story via visuals for a neat effect/usage of the Skeleton ability to speak in images

February: The month I had that momentous dream that led to me creating Rig. Made this image and used it in the first chapter of The System is Rigged

March: Shippy Nick/Deacon using a palette - I did a lot of palette stuff this year they’re so fun to do

April: Finally finished chapter 7 of SIT! This is an important page because originally I was going to save Alistair’s name/gender change for a different arc but it was bothering me that it would take so long to get to, and I realized that I could just throw it in as a casual conversation at the very end of this chapter and I’m a lot happier for it ♥

May: Nick/Echo, @falloutglow‘s OC - I really love Glow’s characters and Nick/Echo makes me happy and I’m so grateful Glow let me use Echo for my fanfics. It helped shape the stories a lot having Echo along for the ride, and it’s also a lot of fun to intentionally throw in shippy things of her to tease Glow wink emoji. This illustration is from Ye Mighty and Despair, the sequel to The System is Rigged

June: One of my favorite Clown Boy comics, a project I started earlier this year. The fun thing about this comic is that I have a set end-date for it (52 comics) which is good for me since otherwise I end up with things like SIT where it’s both Long and also idk when it’ll end (well I know what SIT will end with just not when we’ll get there)

July: Another Ye Mighty and Despair illustration, featuring a happy Rig in his “season 2″ outfit (pineapples instead of flamingos!). I like this fanfic a lot since I get to explore Rig’s relationship with Nick in it (which means... a third story focusing on Rig’s relationship with Echo is needed :3c)

August: This is the month I started the 100 face challenge! I hadn’t drawn a lot of the characters for it either in a while or at all, so it was fun to do this. I had fun with Rapid Fire’s by adding dramatic lighting hehehe. Note: I also challenged myself by doing body poses for as many of the faces as I could

September 1: More dramatic lighting with Suriv’s face challenge; the idea behind this one is that [Spoilers for Et Al] it’s mid-Vitrular civil war where Suriv still trying to get close to Emissionary to alert him to the unethical cloning experiments the previous Dracon leader had ordered and that are still happening, and as he’s looking up at Emissionary he just gets a big huge crush. [End Spoilers]

September 2: And then we have an illustration for the Apollo/Hancock AU which I love for that really great lighting ♥  - Shout out to @diredigression for letting me use their setting for the Apollo/Hancock stuff (we ought to discuss it more when you’re not so busy! I want to talk more about Apollo and Sole’s interactions :>)

October 1: Is it clear yet that I really love the dramatic lighting? A Man Named Law is a fave of my recent characters, made this year for a future comic project. A really enigmatic man who seems to want to stop Footlight’s party from helping West Side and who also wants to stop Creed from looking for his wife

October 2: Rig Miller in the Teashop AU Mark II Glow and I were discussing. Serious Rig is really fun to do - Also there’s a part two to this piece where the tentacles grab onto Rig to drag him away, so rest assured, they are not his tentacles ;3c

November 1: Doomrail! One of the clones from a certain experiment, and one of my favorites of the clones. He compulsively says the opposite of what he means, with the twist that if he wants to he can turn on a program that lets him say what he actually means (though it drains him more than he’d like) - So it’s impossible to tell if he’s bluffing about that whole “you aren’t going to die” thing

November 2: And another clone, Mirrorsmoke! tbh I just really like this one because of the bright green on the background it makes me really happy to look at. Look at this little jerk, he knows what he did and he’s glad for it

December: And finally, the second page of the second comic I started this year, this time featuring Rig in an original setting! I’ve been wanting to do a Rig comic and I decided that I didn’t want to wait until I had a story idea and that I’d write this one as I go and see what happens. The fun thing about this one is that in order to fill out the cast, I’m using characters from other projects of mine, like some of my Et Al characters and human(?) versions of my SIT characters, and more! I’m particularly proud of the last panel on this page, doing the aerial view of the city. I referenced a few different cities in florida, including my own, for that, making up an original beachside city that currently does not have a name.

A lot of art and a lot of art improvement this year, with the goal for even more in 2021! Heck yeah!

[theshinsun]

brace urself, this is for the writing meta ask: 2, 6, 7, 14, 17, 19, 20 (if you need a direction for this... I always wanted to hear more about Bring Me Roses), 21, 22, and 24 bc i'm nosy and still very into your craft. thank you buddy!!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm so excited/terrified to finally start my knb college AU. I've been sitting on this idea for almost two years I'm so ready but at the same time I'm so not ready.

The gist is it's every single self-indulgent, chaotic, projection-ridden idea I've ever wanted for these boys all rolled in a big ball of shenanigans and character growth. It's a beautiful mess and I can't wait to make it happen as soon as ANR is done.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

This is gonna come right the fuck out of left field, but I love writing Himuro. I have so much fun writing just... snark, and that boy is the perfect outlet, there's no bottom to that salt mine. I remember getting a similar kick out of writing Tsukishima in the past, I just live for sassy dialogue. It ain't much but it's honest work.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

My style is very present, I think (which is funny bc there was a time I never would have considered writing present tense) focusing on what's happening and how it makes the character feel in the moment. I like to write specific, detailed imagery, but I try to keep it short and relevant to the scene, so I can move along and focus on what's important. I wouldn't call it fast-paced, exactly, but it is pretty to-the-point. And I think, based on the feedback I've received, that people who read my fics might agree with that. I've heard that my writing is very personal and character-driven, and I think that might be a byproduct of the time I spent writing in first person. Now I write almost exclusively third person limited, but I still like to get in the character's head and tell the story from their "point of view", I guess. 

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

It depends almost entirely on how quick I'm able to come up with a pun lol. Sometimes a fic has a title before I've even written the first sentence, sometimes I have to scramble for something, anything in the last few seconds before I publish it. A lot of the time I'll have a working title like "that one really fucked up aokaga oneshot" for pretty much the duration of writing a new fic… and a lot of the time I'll end up using song titles, even though we're past the days of writing songfics. 

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I think, to a degree, people get different things from my writing than I intended -- which is good! The way a piece of writing can be interpreted completely differently depending on who's reading it is one of the best things about being a writer tbh. I think people might be surprised, though, how different my fics often turn out from how I set out to make them. These days I've usually got a pretty detailed outline for what's going to happen, but even with all the preparation in the world, sometimes a fic will take a sudden detour I didn't expect, or something I wrote before will take on new meaning and change the direction I meant to go in. This definitely happens more with my longer fics, but there are times even with oneshots where I look back at what I set out to write, and what I ended up writing, and they're completely different.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

I tend to write a lot of scenes with characters talking while in the car (cars are an intentional motif in ANR, but in something like GWGE there's not actually a lot of narrative purpose to this) I don't know why, maybe because it's a convenient way to have characters talk one-on-one, or maybe it's because I've had a lot of meaningful conversations while riding passenger, couldn't tell you, but it's cropped up more than once in my current fics and will probably feature in some of my upcoming ones (the college AU strikes me as a likely candidate), and I think it's worth taking note of.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

SINCE you mentioned Bring Me Roses, and I never really get to talk about it, pls allow me to go on a lengthy tangent about my most underrated fic of all time. (Like 90% of the reason it's still incomplete almost two years later is because the response when I posted it was so underwhelming, but I still stand by it. Someday I'll finish it, hopefully, if just for myself.) 

I'm so fucking proud of the language in this one. It's not perfect, by any means, but the imagery in my opinion is very strong, and almost every line of dialogue is saying something without really saying it. There are frequent allusions that something happened to Aomine's mother, relatively recently, and that Momoi is worried about him overworking out of grief or guilt, but none of those things are ever actually stated. There's also some pretty heavy implicit flirting between Aomine and Kuroko, even if it's a bit unusual and they're both playing it coy at this stage, the chemistry is there and the interest is mutual. And of course, because it's a florist AU, the flower symbolism… I spent so long researching bouquets, plant husbandry, how to prep and preserve cut flowers, and of course… flower meanings. The main ones that keep getting brought up are dahlias, which have just as many negative connotations as positive ones, including betrayal and instability, but also dignity, creativity and change, and come in a variety of colors shapes and even sizes (Islander or "dinnerplate" dahlias were definitely going to feature in part 2… as well as the connection between them and Aomine's mother). I know a lot of these things might not hit as hard because there's no actual payoff (yet), but still, in terms of "show don't tell" and setting up things to come, I don't think I have a single better example in my fic repertoire, I really went all out with this.

It's a shame I never got to follow through, but I got the impression that there just wasn't a lot of interest, and even if that alone is kind of a dumb reason not to continue, after I worked so hard to pull off what I did, the lack of response really killed my motivation. (I wonder sometimes if it would've been better received if it was an AoKaga fic… actually, I don't need to wonder, I'm sure it would have been, but that's not the story I set out to tell and I'm not going to change it.)

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Oh, I'd love to do some of my fics as comics. I even tried it at one point; GWGE was going to be a comic originally, before I decided a multichapter fic would probably be less exhausting (the first couple pages are still floating around in my art tag somewhere, though this was back in high school so the quality is… heh).

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Yeah… I reread a lot. Usually while I'm working on a new chapter, I'll go over the ones that lead up to it to make sure I don't repeat the same phrases too much and that the continuity lines up, and I'll also admit to going back and just reading my own fics for fun. Sometimes the only one who's written exactly what I want to see is me. 

How I feel about them depends on the fic… some of my older ones are a mix of nostalgia and cringe tbh, but there are some I still genuinely enjoy revisiting from time to time. 

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Oh hell yeah. For… better and worse, honestly. I feel like I've lost some fluidity and confidence in my writing, and it sometimes turns kind of stilted, so I try to overcompensate which results in pretty jarring changes of tone, but at the same time, I've gotten much better with rhythm and syntax, my grammar skills are always improving, and I'm able to incorporate a lot more intentional meaning and subtext without always stating things outright.

[the-passenger-if]

so Malin had that interesting post on game design and some of the rules he created for Fallen Hero specifically, and tbh, I think FH has become a model for how others are creating their own from what I've seen. I was curious if you did something similar when you were planning out Passenger, and/or if there was anything different that you've been focusing on or trying to emphasize (i never give you easy questions)

I read it; Malin is, once again, the person I want to be when I grow up.

I think FH has become a model for how others are creating their own from what I’ve seen.

Hopefully; Fallen Hero is one of the best examples of interactive fiction I’ve read (it ticks all the right boxes for me and by now I think it’s pretty obvious it’s been a huge inspiration for my own work).

(i never give you easy questions)

(pictured: my last 2 brain cells trying to work together)

I will take the atheist youtuber approach and I’ll revise Malin’s comment step by step to see what resonates with me and what doesn’t.

Malin: “My goal was to write interactive fiction, not a game.”

100% this. Reading the forums I realized I was a lot more into games that told me a story and had rich characters and interactions than, I don’t know, about the I shoot the gun *roll dice* It doesn’t work. Baddie shoots gun *roll dice* It leaves a cool scar on MC’s arm. I have nothing against that type of games, neither against micromanaging, it’s just there’s so many times I can go feed the goats before my brain goes away and comes back once every goat has died of starvation. I get bored, that’s what I’m saying.

M: “Trust. This was the first rule. I needed to build trust in the reader, and make them realize that there would be no game over in this book, no way to fail so badly you couldn’t get back from it.”

This too. I didn’t want to put game overs around every corner. Don’t get me wrong, it works. One of my fave WIPs is Monsters (TW for everything basically) and I died like five times before getting it right, but Monsters isn’t just about dying; I like the NPCs, I like the MCs, it’s a cool slash horror game and I think it makes more sense to die in that game than it does to do it in mine. They say eliminating the possibility of dying kills the suspense and encourages players to play stupidly; TP is a game about an eldritch abomination and their gang of freaks, not rocket science: If players are having fun I did my job.

M: “The only reason you would make a choice should be that it felt right for your character, and you wanted to see what happened.”

I disagree with this one; I really like the oppose pairs COG encourages so much, and after reading dozens of games I found that the author that makes it work best is Devon (Samurai of Hyuga saga). I loved that the most important use of the oppose pairs was to choose your ronin’s personality traits (Devon tends to get a little carried away with how every single choice must be affected by them, but that’s because he’s a more gamey author, while I’m more interested in the role-playing aspect). That’s why there’s no way to fuck up too much in my game if you choose the “wrong” option (read: the option that doesn’t align with your traits). You are still supposed to think about your Newman and what answer feels the less OOC. Some people like to play a character that has some agency of their own (raises hand), other people are control freaks (jk I love you all xD) which bring us to the next point;

M: “Immersion. The second rule, and the thing that influenced my stats and flags. They should be there to help immersion, to enable me to to callbacks to earlier events, and to tailor text to the reader. While there’s an unusually fixed protagonist in Fallen Hero, I wanted variability in how they were presented. While things like cautious/daring influences success in certain fights, that’s actually a secondary function. Instead of trying to artificially have a stat chance with every choice to make it ‘matter’, I embraced the thought that the changing text itself did matter enough.”

All of this. There’s no way I can say it better. Also ties in with MCs having different thoughts and reactions on what’s going on around them. Flavor text rules.

M: “Consequence. That being said, I wanted there to be tension and nervousness, which meant that there needed to be consequence. This was tricky, especially over three books where a lot of the consequences won’t come until later in the series.”

The consequences in my book are a lot quicker to come and bite you in the ass than in Malin’s book (of fucking course); that’s why there are flags just about everywhere and some people will be lacking one or two companions from CH6 onwards.

M: “No lock-in.” “There’s no point in which a RO becomes locked in for good, and at the same time you don’t get locked out if you didn’t start a romance at a certain point…”

Since I have less time to show you things, I had to pick and choose what’s more important for the story I’m trying to tell. For example, what’s more important: keeping the romance paths open or having more fluffy flavor text with your chosen RO. Guess which one I chose (took me 2 solid seconds to make that call I’m telling you)

As I said before, don’t try to create your own angsty path: I FEED on angst, I won’t disappoint you. Smooch that RO, hug Livvy, everything will be taken away by me raining fire on Newman and co anyways.

M: “Secrecy. One way I picked to help me heighten tension was to keep secrets from the reader,”

Not a big fan of this one if I’m being honest. I’m not mad about it or even vocal (this is the first time I say anything) I just could do without it. Fallen Hero is great and I love it, it’s just sort of weird at times when Sidestep goes like “Did they know about the blue button and the diet coke, did they?” And I’m like, “Bitch I sure hope they do because I have no idea what you’re talking about”. FH is my second favorite game (my #1 if I don’t count WIPs) but yeah, that. Maybe if all secrets are revealed by the end of book 2, and book 3 is about Sidestep (and the player) reacting to them, maybe I won’t find it so distracting.

The Passenger has its fair share of secrets (it has to) but most of them aren’t even secrets (what is Newman? where do they come from? what about the Old Ones?) that’s just how cosmic horror works. Things just are, there’s no explanation; the magic trick is always a lot less impressive once you know how it works, and some things are better left unsaid. Whatever your mind comes up with will be one hundred times worse than any explanation I might give you.

M: “Community.” “by having people share and gossip and theorize, the story became so much greater than their single paths.”

No shit I love this. And not only when someone pushes too far and breaks their own heart by being curious *cough*shokujin*cough* but also when people come up with their own headcanons, fanfics, fan comics. Reading my babies’ words through someone else’s creation blows my mind, I’m not kidding. It’s almost dissociative. Also, I write fanfiction, I read it, I’ve made fan comics and art and I know the amount of work and love that you guys pour into it and it’s always super flattering.

All in all, I guess our approaches were pretty similar. I could talk about this for days, that’s why I chose to keep it as close to Malin’s comment as I could.

[smokedstorybara]

everyone seems to describe writing fanfic, and their motives for doing so, as “fixing canon”

which is totally valid

it’s just not how it is for me

(I make a lot of long introspective posts like this on my main, like one every couple months, but since this one is about writing I figured I’d put it here instead; I’m gonna put a readmore here so y’all can skip over it all if you want)

for me writing fanfiction is almost like an experiment, an exploration of variables - circumstance, setting, choices - and how they affect the characters trajectories and the outcome of the story as a whole (though tbh I tend approach writing in general as an exploration of tropes and structure and psychology so I guess it’s just how I am)

(I’m gonna use some fanfics I’m working on, as well as the couple I’ve actually posted, as examples to help me explain what I mean, so if you don’t want spoilers maybe don’t read)

first: exploration of circumstance (then setting, choices, and ending with all three together)

my two examples for this are my published Dear Evan Hansen fic (Apprentice) Park Ranger Handsome and a role-reversal Arrowverse au I’m working on

(A)PRH started with the thought “what would’ve happened if Evan and Connor had first interacted over the summer, at the park Evan worked at?”

my first answer was a simple “their first meeting would likely have gone much smoother - the environment and circumstances of it being much more relaxed”

this led to “they both would’ve latched on to that; this conversation is going well lets try to keep it going as long as possible I’m starved for positive interaction turning into if I talk to him again maybe it’ll go as well as last time it hasn’t gone wrong yet keep coming back keep talking to him maybe this can be good”

which leads to them becoming friends (and likely developing crushes on each other) and then opening up to each other >> relying on each other >> supporting each other >> each realizing that if they want to support the other they need a more stable support themself >> Evan likely being the first to actively reach out for outside support since he already has a therapist and relatively better relationship with his mother >> Evan doesn’t fall from that tree and Connor doesn’t commit suicide >> the entire plot of the play no longer happens but the boys are happy and their families are at least on their ways to healing

the Coldflash role-reversal (which does not have a name yet) actually started with the question “what element would I need to change for Barry to still be a CSI for the CCPD but also use his superspeed to become a criminal?”

the element I went with was him not being allowed access to the file on his mother’s murder

the cause-effect diagram so far is as follows: Barry isn’t allowed access to the file and thus can’t investigate >> he’s upset about this fact >> in a better mental state to be aware of corruption and laziness in the police force (as well as other factors that lead to the wrong person getting arrested) >> becomes bitter and disillusioned but hides it because he still wants to do what he can to prevent innocent people from going to jail >> when he gets superpowers he decides to use it to bring light to the failings of the city’s law enforcement >> becomes a thief >> tries to steal the Khandaq Dynasty Diamond at the same time as Leonard Snart does >> Leonard Snart gets a hold of the cold gun >> they both try again at the same time but because Flash is faster the public see him as a thief and “Captain Cold” as a hero >> because Snart is a giant nerd and also because he’s frustrated with all the chaos in his city from the metas, he decides to go along with it and becomes a superhero

second: exploration of setting

my only example for this is a fantasy au I recently started for Pacific Rim

so the variable I changed was “instead of a war between humans and beings from another world, it’s a war between the two fae courts”

and where changing a circumstance leads to a cause and effect of characters choices, changing setting leads to a map of what that changes in the characters circumstances and identities

some examples from this au:

Hannibal Chau is a human who uses deals with what I’ve been calling “J Court” in my outline to boost his black market business - instead of just being a shady black market dealer with ties to the PPDC, he’s one of the few humans who even knows the fae exist

Stacker Pentecost is either the king of the J Court or the leader of it’s army, giving him much more power than he had in canon

Raleigh left the Court after Yancy’s death, separating himself from his people and instead immersing himself in humanity, but somehow Stacker convinced him to return

(on the flip side: Newt is still an expert on Kaiju biology and just as obsessed with studying them as he is in canon)

third: exploration of choices

this exploration is where I look at one choice made in canon and ask myself “how would everything change if a different choice was made here?”

two examples again; an Umbrella Academy fic (tentatively named “The One Where He Stayed” in my drive) and a Check Please fic currently titled Moving On

the choice in TOWHS is Klaus going back to 2019 after Dave dies - instead he stays, serves a full tour in Vietnam and then returns to the US with his surviving war buddies

this changes his circumstances, setting, and leads to a cause-effect chain of decisions

he’s now a veteran in early seventies USA, he has friends who respect him and care about him; he still decides to go sober to see Dave again but there’s more behind the decision; he makes himself a home and a family - even if a good portion of them are dead soldiers, some of them are the spouses of his brothers-in-arms, their children and siblings; he learns to control his powers, all of them; and when he finally ends up back in 2019 - either the long way or from accidentally opening the briefcase - he still has this family waiting for him to show back up, willing to help, he’s powerful and knows it, and there’s no way he’s going to let the apocalypse happen

Moving On is less changing a choice made in canon and more answering the question of “what would happen if this choice that wasn’t made was?”

or, more specifically, “what if Bitty and Jack broke up before the Stanley Cup win? how would that affect Bitty’s friendships, his life?”

because many of Bitty’s friends are also friends with Jack, or at least look up to him, and in fact several were friends with Jack first

this one is mostly about exploring the psychology of the comic’s characters and how they all would react

I was happy to realize there would likely not be too much side taking, but there would be awkwardness for most of them; Bitty would likely gravitate more towards spending time with Tango, Whiskey, and Ford who would be the three most likely to not make a big deal out of it or make things awkward; also Bitty would be unable to tell his mother, which would eat at him

then there was the question “if Kent found out would he sympathize? would they become friends?” (slightly harder to answer, since Kent is a tiny bit of an enigma, but I chose to be optimistic there)

and the most important question: “how would I want to end this story? would it be a more satisfying conclusion for Bitty to find a new boyfriend and be happy with him, or to decide he doesn’t need a man to be happy? should Jack end the story single, or in a new relationship?”

the answers I decided on were: while Bitty doesn’t need a man to be happy, he was closeted his entire teens and at this point has only had one relationship and he deserves to get another chance at romance; and on the other side, Jack’s personal story is more about his hockey and becoming comfortable being himself and really all he needs is to win the Stanley Cup or something

fourth: all three at once - or in other words: The Soulmate AU

soulmate AUs are the best way to cover all three at once because the very existence of soulmates changes the circumstances of the story and how the world works, and affects what choices the characters would make

once again, I have two examples: my published Moomins fic Perchance To Dream, and an Arrowverse one-shot series titled Dream A Little Dream

Perchance To Dream was started by the question “in what way could I make Moomin and Snufkin soulmates without them immediately knowing upon meeting? which soulmate trope would I have to use?”

my tentative answer was soul dreams

which was quickly followed by the acknowledgement that if young Snufkin had started having soul dreams he’d likely be unhappy >> if Moomin knew his soulmate was unhappy with their soul bond and he had a way to cut off the bond - say, an herb that you take every night to stop your soul dreams - he’d do that for them, even if it would make him very sad >> time passes and they meet how they do in canon and they’ve both grown enough that they don’t immediately recognize each other >> Snufkin would figure it out first, but exactly when and how would depend on Moomin >> Snufkin would keep it a secret, nervous about telling Moomin >> Moomin would find himself drawn (and attracted) to Snufkin and would have very conflicting feelings over it >> they’d both spend an awfully long time feeling conflicted and guilty before Moomin decides he wants to be with Snufkin, soulmate or not, and Snufkin decides to tell Moomin the truth - probably around the same time

Dream A Little Dream exists entirely as an exploration of the soulmate trope and the different possibilities within

instead of being a romance focusing on one or two ships, it’s a non-linear web showing both how the existence of soulmates affects all the characters and how the events of canon affect the relationships of all the soulmate pairs

(I tried to separate it into primary pairs, secondary pairs, and tertiary pairs to make it easier on myself but all the pairings were too important to the whole idea behind the story to limit their chapters(literally I have, like, nine endgame ships and two of those are polyam(as in I’m counting a four person polyam chain as one ship, even if it might technically count as three, and the other is three people: one relationship); and around fifteen soul pairs(yes there are more soul pairs than endgame ships, there’s a reason for that)))

because of the way I’m exploring the trope there’s fairly little, aside from romantic relationships, that changes from canon (at least up to season four of the Flash, cause that’s as far as I’ve seen)

mostly it’s things like Leonard Snart returning to life because him and Barry are one of the soul pairs I plan on having end up together - after a very long process of Len spending nine months thinking his soulmate died >> then several months of Barry knowing Len’s his soulmate but Len being in the dark >> a period of Len trying to win Barry over but failing a bit >> Len dying and Barry mourning him >> Barry marrying and then divorcing Iris >> Len coming back to life >> Barry and him finally getting together

which is a parallel(in that they both have the “good guy is soulmated to bad guy” dynamic) and contrast to Cisco and Hartley who don’t realize they’re soulmates when they first meet and totally hate each other >> when they can no longer deny it, they start to work together and accept each other >> end up together

Iris’s soulmate is Eddie, and she, Caitlin, and Ray are explorations of moving on after the loss of your soulmate and the different forms that takes - Iris and Caitlin ending up together(along with Shawna, who was left behind by her soulmate) and Ray trying to fill Anna’s spot with other romantic relationships before finally realizing that that isn’t actually helping and finally properly coming to terms with the loss

and I’m gonna stop here instead of going any further into this one, since it’s got so many moving parts and also it’s a little harder to separate from canon than the others

[onwardintolight]

Canon Catchup

With TROS coming out soon, I’ve been doing a lot of catchup on canon material that I’ve missed, particularly that which I think will be most relevant either for the movie or for Resistance Reborn (which I finished yesterday and will talk more about below). I will avoid major spoilers, as excited as I may be about some of them, haha, but I wanted to write out a few of my thoughts here while they’re fairly fresh.

A Crash of Fate by Zoraida Córdova and Galaxy’s Edge by Delilah Dawson—these don’t seem quite as relevant to TROS, but I read these two Galaxy’s Edge tie-in novels a few months ago and I thought I’d say a few words. I REALLY enjoyed the A Crash of Fate; it was such a lovely, heartwrenchingly beautiful story that reminded me a little of Lost Stars in the way that it focused in on a friendship/romance between two people who wouldn’t ever be main characters in the movies. The story was told primarily over the span of a single day, and wow did I not expect my heart to be pulled in so many different directions. Definitely one I will read again and again. 

I’m not sure I’ll do the same with Galaxy’s Edge. It was a super fun read, with some great, Indiana Jones-like action sequences, and I’d recommend giving it a go especially if you’re planning on ever going to Galaxy’s Edge—but it also had a few seriously problematic elements that I just couldn’t overlook. For one, NO WAY is Leia going to force Vi to work closely with someone who tortured her, and speaking of torture, many black people have already commented on the problematic nature of the excessive violence Vi undergoes in this book.

TFA and TLJ Junior Novelizations by Michael Kogge—I wanted to get a refresher on these stories, and since I’d never read the junior versions, I decided to give them a try. Overall I enjoyed these quite a bit. The TFA one was way better imho than the adult novelization by Alan Dean Foster, and both had some really meaningful character moments. There was one Leia scene at the end of the TFA one that brought me to tears.

Aftermath: Life Debt and Aftermath: Empire’s End by Chuck Wendig—I’d originally read the Aftermath trilogy as each book was released, but with everything I was hearing about Resistance Reborn, AND with the return of Palpatine in TROS and the promise of finally figuring out what’s been going on in the Unknown Regions, I thought it was a perfect time to revisit it. I skipped the first one (my least favorite of the three, and also my copy is in a box somewhere from when we moved last and the library’s audiobook copies were checked out) and read a synopsis instead to refresh my memory, then dived straight into Life Debt. Both of these books were as good or better than I remember them. I enjoyed them the first time, but I enjoyed them even better this time around. I feel like they’ve gained even more significance now. My HanLeia shippy heart is happy with some of their scenes, and also I rediscovered that I absolutely adore and would probably die for Norra, Wedge, Jas, Sinjir, Temmin, and crew.

Spark of the Resistance by Justina Ireland—this was a super cute but ultimately rather forgettable junior novel. The best part about it was seeing Rey, Poe, and Rose interacting. I may revisit it sometime after TROS and see if my unexpectedly skyrocketing feels for these characters (see below) makes it better.

The Poe Dameron comic run—I’d previously read the first trade (Black Squadron), the third (Legend Lost), and maybe a tiny bit of the second (The Gathering Storm), and aside from a really poignant bit in Legend Lost I just didn’t find myself very invested. This time around, however, flipped that on its head. Trades 4 and 5 (Legend Found and The Spark and the Fire) completely did me in, and without warning, I found myself 100% invested in Black Squadron. Poe, Jess, Snap, Karé, Suralinda, and L’ulo have officially joined the Aftermath crew in my list of characters I would die for. I just want all my babies to be okay! There were numerous moments in those last two trades (including the AMAZING Annual #2, a must-read for HanLeia new canon fans) which made me cry. I’m not even joking. So good. Well done, Charles Soule.

Resistance Reborn by Rebecca Roanhorse—Buckle up because I have a lot to say! I HIGHLY recommend reading the Aftermath trilogy, Bloodline, the Poe Dameron comics, and watching the Battlefront II campaign (which I talked about in another post) before reading this because HOLY MOLY. You won’t be lost if you don’t, but it will mean so much more to you if you do. Speaking of crying, I literally lost count of the moments that brought me to tears, and so many were significant because of how all the stories I mentioned and more have been so beautifully interconnected in this one. Wedge and Norra, Zay and Shriv, and so many others—each was given their due and it was amazing. One character’s surprise appearance had me practically on my knees with joy and heartbreak all at once, and I would say more but I’m really trying to keep that promise not spoil you, haha. 

If the Poe Dameron comic weren’t enough to win me over, this book has officially cemented Poe as one of my favorite sequel trilogy characters. Tbh, I’ve had trouble feeling much of a deep connection with any of the sequel trilogy leads—I love them, sure, but not like Leia, Han and Luke, the trio I grew up with. I’ve wanted to love them more, I’ve wanted to be more invested in them, but it just hasn’t happened. I’m really glad I read this book before TROS, because I think this has changed that. I was definitely getting a few OT golden trio vibes with Rey, Finn, and of course, my Boi™ Poe—except they’re completely their own characters, and I’m really starting to love them for who they are.

Overall, I absolutely loved this book, it felt really meaningful, and I can’t wait to read it again. 

That being said, when I finished it yesterday I felt a little bit disappointed, like it tasted a little bit bittersweet. I’m still trying to figure out why that is, but I think it may be down to three things: 

1) Though there were a number of fantastic character reveals, there were some obvious people absent and I can’t help but wonder where they are. I hope they’re not dead. I hope TROS includes some of these characters, too. I hope we get the rest of their stories either way.

2) The book is way too short. Especially on the heels of the Aftermath trilogy, this feels like only the first act of at least three. The ending comes way too soon, just after it really seems to get going. This I don’t blame the author or the publishers for at all; they are very limited, after all, in what they can portray leading up to TROS. But it really left me longing for more. This book had such a wonderful focus on character, but in the end, I wanted to see the character arcs get even more resolved than they do here... but I guess they really couldn’t be, and that’s what TROS is for. I just hope the movie does it well! I need all these people to be okay <3

3) It doesn’t shy away from grief, struggle, and the mental cost of war. Honestly, that’s part of why I love it so much, but I think that’s also part of why it left me feeling a little melancholy. The Resistance is in such a seemingly hopeless place, and while things do get better over the course of the book, there’s still such a terribly long way to go.The First Order rains merciless terror on anyone or any planet who gives even the slightest hint of opposing them or of aiding the Resistance. The whole galaxy is afraid. Poe struggles deeply with guilt and with how to make up for the horrible mistakes he made in TLJ (this is not brushed off in the slightest, not by the book or by the characters in it, and I appreciate that). Rey is confused and still unsure of her place in things. Characters are faced with the fact that they will almost certainly die because of their choice to join the Resistance, and it’s heavy. And Leia. Oh, Leia. I am deeply grateful to Roanhorse for her very realistic portrayal of Leia as someone who has lost so incredibly much (most recently her husband and brother), most definitely has PTSD, and probably is dealing with a bit of depression. Leia is weary. Leia struggles to keep stepping forward, struggles to figure out the next step for those she leads. Leia struggles to keep hoping. The battle between hope and despair in the face of terrible loss and terrible odds is very much felt in this book. But as ever with Leia, hope always wins in the end. By the end of the book, you can still feel the struggle, but hope wins. 

I think that because I personally relate so much to Leia, reading some of that was hard. Not because I feel like it’s contrary to who Leia is, but because I resonate with it so much and because it reminds me in a particularly strong way of some of the struggles I’ve dealt with that I’d like to forget. It’s no wonder that my heart felt heavy after I closed the book. But along with that, I also see how Leia perseveres, how she’s finally gotten to a place where she lets herself rely on and be comforted by others, and how she accomplishes the seemingly impossible just because she damned well refuses to give in to despair, no matter how tempting it may be. It reminds me that I, too, can accomplish incredible things despite all my struggles, despite the odds stacked against me.

Anyway, I highly recommend this book. Resistance Reborn hasn’t quite come up to the level of Bloodline or LPOA in my personal ranking, but with future rereads, it very well might someday. 

This book—along with all of this reading—has put me even more on the edge of my seat for TROS than I was before, if that’s possible. I desperately want it to be the best ending possible for the Skywalker Saga and for all these characters who’ve become so beloved to me. I’m trying to temper my expectation—TFA still isn’t especially my jam, after all, and while overall I’m a fan of the ST (the TROS trailers made me cry, for goodness sakes), I have a somewhat complicated relationship with it in general—but goddammit, I’m hoping anyway. There’s so much beautiful setup in the new canon EU, such a deliberate focus on character, and so many hints that this might reach through the whole saga and bring together something bigger than we can imagine. 

I’m hoping anyway.

[bronanlynch]

writer rec meme

tagged by @girlfriendsofthegalaxy thank u friend!!

1. A fic you are proud of?

so I wrote my youth is yours (friends at the table: spring in hieron; benjamin/blue j) for secret samol this year during a time when I was. not having a good time and also had lots of essay deadlines and I was behind on my penumbra minibang fic so I. started working on it really late and barely finished it in time to not miss the posting period and I was so worried abt it and then somehow wrote the entire 5.3k thing in a few days and it turned out well?? people liked it??? so I’m proud of myself for somehow managing that

(side note looking back at it now is funny bc u can tell I wrote it before I fell completely into ephrim/throndir since the background ship is still throndir/red jack. although like. throndir has 2 hands and should kiss both of them tbh)

2. A fic you are excited about?

of the things that I’ve posted so far, I’m still really happy abt lend me your heart and I’ll just let you fall (julius caesar; brutus/cassius) which is. incredibly silly and self-indulgent like. is it my best work? probably not! did I have a very fun time writing it? yes I did! it’s caesar but In Space and the worldbuilding is a mess of things stolen from various other sci-fi franchises and I’m so glad it exists in the world

a slightly more serious answer is I’m gonna love and give it a name (transformers comics; bumblebee/starscream) which I like bc. ok. there’s not much beescream fic and I’m super picky abt it and I like being able to reread this and get hit w exactly the emotions I want from this ship. I think the beginning could’ve used just a lil more editing but the whole second half makes me emo so

I don’t. do multichapter fic so I can’t really rec any wips which I feel like this is actually asking abt lmao. my main wips are the friends at the table thing I need to hurry up and post before the next episode drops, and the g*me of thr*nes fix-it/rewrite of most of canon bc it’s bad that I’ve been picking away at for. literally three (3) years now including when I lost all of it when my hard drive died in fall 2017 and I learned a valuable lesson abt backing up my shit. someday I’ll finish that fic and then I’ll be free of the hold that mess of a series has on my brain

3. A fic that was challenging to write?

when the sun comes (try not to hate the light) (the penumbra podcast; juno/nureyev + sasha/rita) was my penumbra minibang fic and it was. also written while I was having a hard time, I struggled w the deadline, and I’d never tried to write fic that long or plot-y before (I also ended up cutting basically the entire ~plot that was in my outline and just focusing on the emotional arcs and the vampire tropes which is. valid of me)

4. A fic that was something you hadn’t tried before?

bringing the heat and the word is out (friends at the table: counter/weight; diego/augustus) which I wrote for the fatt rarepair swap was the first time I tried to do something non-chronological and I was also balancing 3 point of view characters when I usually stick to one or two but I really like how it turned out, figuring out how to arrange the different sections was really fun

(also that’s a fic that I would rec even if u know nothing abt the fandom bc it’s minor side characters and has very little to do w the main storyline but it’s good and fun and up until the penumbra mini-bang I considered it the best thing I’d ever written)

5. If you had to choose one fic above all to share, what would it be?

tbh probably when the sun comes, bc it’s the most ambitious fic I’ve written and it’s recent so it’s prob a pretty good representation of me as a writer, but since I wanna. share something different for this question so

I could be violet sky (friends at the table: spring in hieron; samothes/hadrian/samot) is one of my absolute favorites tbh, I’m not sure how much sense it makes if u don’t have at least a little knowledge of hieron lore but I’m kinda tempted to say just read it anyway. there are divorced gods who are still in love and also both probably into someone who’s kind of the paladin of both of them. there’s clothes sharing and also dream sharing

sorry I know I was supposed to pick one and also that I’ve recced so many fatt fics even though probably only like 5 of you care abt that but I reread made of nebulas and novas and night sky (friends at the table: counter/weight; sokrates/integrity; written for the fatt nb swap last summer) for the first time since I posted it while looking through my ao3 for this meme and hey? it’s good actually?? do you like estranged siblings learning to get along again and someone realizing they’re basically married to the alien ai who shares their mind + body (think venom but they’re both a little less of a disaster)? then I have the fic for you! (can also probably be read without much background knowledge bc they’re fairly minor characters and also Imo u should read it anyway bc I think it’s p good)

oh man Idk who to tag for this, if you write things and you wanna do the thing, consider yourself tagged

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Croatia to Eurovision with a confused angel lad and his lowkey over-enthusiastic mentor

Yeah, well, I definitely have hoped for this nation to finally finally bring back Dora as their national selection, as I myself have never really felt their internal entries since they abandoned it (well maybe except Nina from 2012 but even then by now I grew out of it softly). Not even Nina from 2016 which was tipped as a huge fan fave (though I’m so sorry for it getting completely lambasted in Eurovision, especially because of the poor clothing choice and Nina’s warbly notes here and there).

And they did! After like what, 7 solid years??? After the last Dora ending out with a disastrous end result and spawned a person to (more) stardom who even qualified a couple years back and this year he’s there to be a songwriter for his home country because of the Eurovision 2019 slogan inspiring him???? Well... yeah that happened. With having fought 15 other participants made up of familiar faces, up and coming starlets, the already legendary divas or just some people, he won as a songwriter for this next target of my review - the target that is aptly titled “The Dream” and is performed by a 19 year old up-and-coming pop star, Roko Blažević. Yep, Jacques Houdek won a NF but not with himself singing. Man did his magic game get stronger over the years since Dora 2011.

And interestingly enough, Jacques’s wizardry comes in with him being capable of selling chanceless music as something worth buying into. How can that happen???

Well, to be frank with you all, this song is not that bad, unlike everyone thinks it is. It feels like a low-rent musical ballad, sure, but it's not terribly composed or anything... well, I know I usually hate on those songs that like using mostly not the "verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus", but there are plenty of songs that mess with that structure that usually just omit the last two components (radio pop music) or don’t even need one, and they sound great. Here we have the omission of the last two components that more reminds me of “Grande amore” (I am not saying they’re comparable but still), as in, slow ballad in the F minor (”The Dream” even slaps a keychange on) that tries to sound majestic/dramatic, not very much so to be intense, just something theatrical I s’pose. And has a little too little time for another full verse so they just go to a bridge (and "Grande amore" had two long pre-choruses too?!?). I don’t hate this one, if I had to make a 2019 ranking this instant I’d put this in Top 30 somehow.

So what is there to be found that puts people off? They cannot be hating on Roko’s voice, which is really great for a young man like him. (In fact, God forbid I say one bad word about him, because some specific one on Twitter will have a beatdown with me because I dissed her hubby... so I’ll keep my mouth shut about any qualities of his :X) I guess it consists of several factors: 1) the song sounds dated; 2) the lyrics, especially in that chorus (I DREAM OF LOOOOOOVE, YOU DREAM OF LOOOOOOVE~ lol I actually dream of hatred, hatred will prevail >:) ); 3) the vocal volume is loud at parts; 4) the song is English-Croatian and somehow it should be sung in Croatian just to hide away the hideous understandable lyrics. My personal caveats are: 1) the song is too plodding and it shows a lot in that chorus with Roko holding his long notes (can we get tothe point FASTER?!); 2) the chorus lacks productional depth and maybe with a slight revamp (given Jacques wouldn’t be so stubborn about it!) it could have sounded the right amount of dramatic. If anything, I am GRATEFUL that it sounds more palatable than "My Friend", as THAT one was a joyful of cringey clichés tbh. The cheese became rotten and smelly and the sudden violin lead-in into the bridge still creeps me out. Goddamn it Jaq.

Not to mention Mr. Houdek is soooooo optimistic about his song, he finds everything in it perfect enough to not change it! Not the melody, not the language decisions, not the wings (did I tell you Roko wore wings on his NF performance??) - no! Did someone not tell him that Eurovision is rapidly evolving and his fantasies of coming top 3 with this song just better stay fantasies? Oh wait, it's the same man who once sang "dare to dream and make it real", of course he's stuck to his guns like super glue. Can't blame him, there were worse songs in top 3 over the years. Still though, the wings is a stupid idea. There should be something else involved if Jacques wants a performance to be memorable. Roko can't just stand there and only do what he's told to do by his guardian songwriter - granted he has to behave but still...

In the end, how would I summarize this tl;dr? I am one of a handful of folks who find this alright. There's a bigger minority who outright adores the song but I'm just there that likes this and nothing much more, honestly. Everything's just alright. Guess I'm sometimes soft enough to accept cheese, huh. But seriously, the mentoring behind the scenes... it's creepy to say the least. I'm happy Roko's having a helluva good time at least.

Approval factor: Oh I don't know with this one, statistically we can just go ahead and... try approving this? I’m not a huge fan of Croatian entries this decade, at least Slovenia redeemed themselves in my eyes last minute with “Sebi”, while even in my Croatian faves (they mostly are “Nebo” and “Crazy”, and I maaaaaybe like “Lighthouse” a bit too actually?) I see some negative qualities that completely overwhelm my liking for them. But since I legally find “The Dream” okay, I give this one a bit of a pass.

Follow-up factor: Sadly this kind of choice feels to me as a steady divedown in overall quality of what Croatia usually offers us. Well the decline was always on since “My Friend” followed up “Lighthouse” I suppose, or it's just so happens that Croatia sent the duds on this decade only in odd years ("Celebrate" was fun but tragic trash, "Mižerja" was pleasant I guess but everything here was miserable from the beginning and everyone still doesn’t get why “My Friend” qualified and “Crazy” didn’t). I like it though.

Qualification factor: I’d like to believe that this one can borderline sneak the fuck in to the finals for no reason other than Jacques knowing how to work things in his favour. Yes, I’m not writing this off completely. Although I still see some parts where this wouldn’t work out, it’s actually not 100% doomed... if anything, I at least don’t see it coming last in semi easily! It’s not as LAME as Iceland last year was. And it too was a basic love-peace-dreams message inserted into an older-timey-sounding singalong ballad and was given for a young singer that has a helluva lot of potential later ASIDE Eurovision. That is if they don't pretend Eurovision "ruined [their] careers, njeh!", of course. At least Roko can SANG live and maybe it will happen again that a singer's voice will make this surprisngly qualify over the song? We'll see. For now Jacques should just stay focused on how to make Roko's angel wings (sigh...) more memorable on stage in case the voice is not qualifying but the gimmicks are.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

EMA 2019 at least had positive surprises all over for a NF this non-cared-about-by-me. Dora just... did not. Really. This NF did not interest me all that much song-quality-wise, and it even had SIX MORE SONGS than EMA!!! Crazy, huh?? But it’s okay, I can talk about the show to you if you want me to:

• From the Dora participants list announcement I was mostly excited to hear like two entries, and I'll mention both of them right away separately. And it's by two artists I've heard of before a lot! Though this first one kind of made me feel like I've been somewhat betrayed... enter Luka Nižetić who has got a nice vast catalogue of songs now - soft song(s), upbeat summer songs, and so on. And I kinda liked some of those songs of his I heard (if you're looking for recommendations, give "Vječno" a listen!), but “Brutalero”, his actual Dora 2019 entry was... on a whole different level. Dude, when was ripping off “Mi gente” ever useful?? It’s the year people were chasing after “Fuego” as the Latinesque bop to copy, not this! I hate it when people rehash annoying (but catchy) songs, and it’s certainly worse when they do it as their Eurovision NF entry. Brutal. And I actually remember hyping him before hearing the song, which is a bigger facepalm-worthy moment of mine. When will I ever learn?! ;( Thank God for the juries who served this song right. IDC if the revamp version of this made it any better, I’ll be fuming over this not being an inspired song. Oh and the comic book cartoon style made this brutally laughable to me, I said what I said. It might have entertained some kids though. So to summarise, Luka’s capable of having bops out, but “Brutalero” ain’t it, sis.

• Well guess what - Friendship ended with LUKA, Now MANNTRA is my best friend! Hell yeah lol. Did I tell you I like rock music so much? So I really foresaw kind of liking Manntra's song “In the Shadows” and rooting for them based on me knowing their name (just like Luka but oop), and in fact I really did root for them in the end! I wish I supported them more than Luka instead. They’re bangin’. They’re blazin’. They’re pure awesomeness. Their costumes. THAT BREAKDOWN. Magic. Should’ve won, and if them winning were any forbidden because Croatia is just refusing to accept stuff I’d stan for, at least come second. Screw Luka, screw Lorena. Bring the rock music back. ^^

• oh yeah and the others I guess. Well, if I had to recommend a few entries, here goes: if you’re nostalgic for old-timey early 2000′s bops (in the style of “Everyway That I Can”), you go and listen to the aforementioned Lorena Bućan‘s entry, “Tower of Babylon”. If you dreamed of one of the Femminem singers becoming a 60s retro artiste (actually you did not, that sounds very utter random), go check her project’s (Gelato Sisters) entry, “Back to That Swing”. If you’re here for THE QUEEN DOMENICA, go ahead, check out “Indigo”, the ultimate shopping mall background music anthem. My actual other favourite together with Manntra was Beta Sudar though, as “Don’t Give Up” as some really nice pop I guess. You see what I mean when I said that Dora this year did not interest me all that much song-quality-wise? Well ofc some songs were nice but that's all and too much 'just niceness' is slowly breaking me honestly. I would have gladly cancelled the NF and put Manntra through internally instead. Epic boys deserve an epic platform to showcase themselves, I don’t make the rules here.

Thankfully that's that out of the way, now I'm just going to wish this sweet little angel man all the best in Tel Aviv and not to be too upset if he flops. I know Jacques would be upset, but for that he shouldn't put Roko through a similar mind process also...

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2018 Anime Overview: Continuing Series- Golden Kamuy Season 2 and Banana Fish

Golden Kamuy Season 2

If you enjoyed the first season, this is pretty much more of the same, so check out my review of season one to know what to expect.

Though I guess you could say this portion of the season DOES lean even harder into weirdness than the first one did. There’s not many anime where you’ll see two dudes having the time of their lives modeling fashionable outfits made out of human skin, which include...crotch appendages...only in Golden Kamuy y’all.

Interestingly bizarreness tends to overlap with queerness a lot in this season and its hard to know how to feel about it. For instance, it’s definitely an unexpected revelation that dudes are attracted to Lieutenant Tsurumi like whoa. 

IDK apparently he’s a catch. Half of his subordinates are in love with him. It’s handled as comical and of course the dudes are mentally unbalanced weirdos (as is everyone in Golden Kamuy except Asirpa and Sugimoto only sometimes) and one of them dies, but the show is never overtly mean to them either. Nobody acts disgusted about it and when one character observes the attraction, he basically shrugs about it.

 Satoru Noda apparently also REALLY loose with his fixation with dudes muscles with this part of the story, to the point we got the beef-cakiest hotsprings episode I’ve ever seen, which includes an extended fight scene where the male characters were naked throughout. There’s also an entire scene where apparently otter meat is an aphrodisiac that causes the dudes to be really into each other, so they engage in nearly naked sumo wrestling.

This is all clearly supposed to be wacky and funny, but at the same time it’s pretty clear the mangaka must REALLY LIKE drawing these scenes of muscular, naked men, and I support him following his dreams. Also I won’t deny it’s refreshing to see a hot springs episode where not a single woman got objectified, but there was dude oglin’ a plenty. It healed me a little.

I guess while we’re talking about this show and its weird relationship with queerness I should reporting that my prediction was right and the trans woman I mentioned in the previous review did become an ally. Her transness hasn’t been bought up again (though for some reason the subs decided to switch to “he” despite sticking with “she” before) and her role is pretty minor, she does reveal she’s skilled in both cooking and surgery (because she likes dismembering people) and talks about how great it would be to see people murdered every so often, so pretty much more of the same.

And that’s really all there is to say. Golden Kamuy has only gotten weirder and the plot only more convoluted (I’m starting to have a hard time keeping track of the characters tbh), but it’s an entertaining story and there’s still characters with resonance and heart underneath it all (the scene where Sugimoto discusses his trauma from being in the war with Asirpa genuinely tugged a heartstring. These two are still great and have really settled into a kinda of adorable dad-daughter dynamic at this point) and the historical and cultural research that went into this story is still amazing. 

I can tell the anime’s still skipping a lot of the manga (most of volume 7 was completely skipped), but since the English release of the manga is so slow, I’m happy to watch it in the meantime. It helps that the show has a bangin’ soundtrack and and it managed to pull its ginormous cast together for some truly exciting and action packed final episodes that left me eager for more. 

Banana Fish (13-24)

Again, if you read my review for the first half of the show, you can basically expect more of the same, both with the good and especially the bad parts. We do get more downtime with Ash and Eiji’s relationship, and they continued to make me think this show would be so much better if it focused more on these quiet scenes rather than on piling as much trauma on Ash as it possibly can. 

I think this second half did allow me to see what was compelling about Ash and Eiji’s relationship and why it’s stayed with so many people. When Ash explained that he’s finally found someone who will love him without expecting anything in return, so of course he’s willing to do anything for that person, that got me in the heart. Ash is someone who has either been viewed as a threat or someone to exploit- he’s especially used to being treated like he’s nothing more than a body, a receptacle for desires. Eiji isn’t afraid of Ash, or in awe of him, and never asks anything of him other than for him to be okay and by his side. Ash genuinely can just be a dumb teenager with him while he can’t with anyone else. Eiji is an outsider, to Ash’s gang-bangin’ world, to his culture in general, and that allows him to see Ash as he truly is, just a kid who needs to get out of this mess.

The romantic in me really loves that concept, and as an ace person, I especially connect to the underlying implication that Eiji is a romantic partner who isn’t going to demand sex from Ash or try to force him into it. Though Ash’s implied desire to avoid sex almost certainly stems from trauma, I know how he feels in a broad sense. And I think it’s a thing a lot of women can relate to even if they aren’t ace, wanting to find a relationship where they aren’t used or objectified, so it goes back around to how Ash acts as kind of a representation for the anxieties and desires of (likely) the mangaka and many women despite being a male character, and I still find that very interesting. The scene where Ash has a complete breakdown and screams at his rapist while laughing hysterically was really affecting.

So there’s moments of real resonance here, but is it worth the bullshit surrounding it, which includes every single gay man being represented as a rapist, to the point a gay bar is connected to a child porn ring? The nasty implication that gay sex is inherently evil and non-consensual, and Ash and Eiji’s relationship is only okay because they’re not doing it is very strong, and as much as this ace appreciates a romance that doesn’t require sex, I don’t want it THIS way.

There’s also some SERIOUS anti-Semitic bullshit that I can’t believe MAPPA didn’t edit out in a couple episodes. Like it would have been so easy to cut. Also some more pretty rough scenes of black men being murdered (they’re extras this time at least, and the main black dude for this part of the anime miraculously manages to both survive and not be an offensive caricature. Also his name is Cain Blood which is the best name in this story, and possibly ever). 

The second half of the anime also involved some of the more absurd elements worsening. I got REALLY tired of every character commenting on how hot and amazing Ash is like. I GET IT.  Also Ash’s life of being sexually exploited somehow gives him the ability to seduce any man holding him captive, and every bad guy is down for raping a teenage boy, I guess. It’s actually again, a little surreal to see these tropes with a male character. I’m used to seeing hot female characters who’ve been through sexual trauma and have magic seduction powers and are endlessly drooled over...I almost want guys to watch these segments so they can see how uncomfortable it feels when the tables are turned. 

There’s also some really good examples of ACTUAL jarring tone shifts, where the anime really fails to land some of its attempts at a funny, light moment in the midst of really tense and tragic situations. I think it’s possible the manga managed this better, but I can’t imagine the “joke” where Ash has to crossdress and a male doctor gropes him and Ash punches him out cold and his friends chortle and tell him he’s not a gentle woman could ever be done in a non jarring way. Like, I don’t like sexual harassment humor in anime at the best of times, but it’s especially bad when the person who is harassed has been raped more times than he can count.  We’re expected to take that seriously, but not this, because Ash is in a dress? It’s also like, appalling that his friends who are fully aware of his history would laugh about him getting assaulted again. It’s a moment that feels like it comes from a completely different anime. 

So um, yeah. My conclusion is those resonant moments are not worth the bullshit. The ending really cemented this for me. I had an (admittedly overly flippant) reaction that kind of sums my feelings up. Let’s just say I HATE meaningless cruel tragedy for the sake of tragedy, and I especially hate the implication abuse victims can never find happiness. 

I can’t say Banana Fish is an anime I’ll think fondly of or recommend. I do still find the discussion about it interesting, much more interesting than the actual story (as presented in the anime, again, haven’t read the manga), tbh. And I can see the seeds of a good story there, and I can understand why fans would want to see a reboot that truly modernized the story, cutting out the worst stuff and giving it a better ending, while keeping the resonance of the main relationship and the good characters (I really did like Sing, and Yut Lung was interesting. Shorter and Skip both deserved way better. Also Jessica, who at least got to do something besides be victimized at the last minute. One whole female character got a few moments of agency. Hallelujah.) Maybe someday it will happen. 

In the meantime, there’s a bunch of cool articles on Banana Fish that are worth a read. All of the pieces published on animefeminist as well as this post on Otaku, She Wrote are really informative, illuminating, and break down a lot of the issues I found here.

[margridarnauds]

XVI. The Tower and XXII. The Fool please!

Thanks!

XVI. The Tower: Do you easily change your opinion on matters? What makes you lose faith in other people? Is there anything, or anyone you feel safe with?

Do you easily change your opinion on matters?

I don’t really think I change my opinion TOO much, at its base, if that makes any sense? When I’m around people, I do find myself molding myself into what the conversation requires, or at least shutting myself up unless it’s something that I find truly deplorable/can back up easily, but I think it takes a lot for my own personal opinion to change. Except for that one day or so when I woke up a conservative Methodist and went to bed as a liberal (alright I was “libertarian” but that went down the drain fast) atheist. That was a fun time. In my research, I try to keep an open mind, but I’ll own to my own confirmation bias. I can say “This is a good paper, you make good arguments,” but…do I fully accept it in my mind? No. But also I tend to see things more in shades of gray to a potentially annoying extent as it is, so when I change my opinion, it’s…not necessarily a matter of saying “This thing has some bad points” it’s “This thing’s bad points now outweigh its good points in my mind.” Part of why I ultimately chose lit over history as my focus was that I like that there’s not really a press for an Ultimate Truth in lit, in the sense that everything’s much more open to interpretation, whereas history tends to pressure more for definite ARGUMENTS. 

What makes you lose faith in other people?

It’s odd, because losing faith in people, for me, is rarely a matter of ONE single thing. I try to give people second and third chances, I tend to brush off that little niggling, “Something’s not right here” feeling, etc. So, when I finally lose faith, it’s a Big Thing, but it’s also not one that I can solidly put down to a single thing, which also makes it very hard when I’m trying to build a timeline in my head. Betrayal, lies, cruelty (though I do TRY to understand that people can have bad days, but…it doesn’t ERASE it, you know?), willful ignorance, finding out that they support things that I find personally deplorable, all the things that you’d really expect. 

(Funny story there: For ages I didn’t get crushes. Not one. Then, I got a strange…thing on a guy in my German class. Not a straight-up crush, but I LIKED him in a way that was slightly more than platonic. And I was like, “Okay, I’m bi instead of ace after all.” Then, I found out he supported Trump and he made some insanely transphobic and biphobic comments under the guise of “debate” because he was That Guy. /Crush, and that was basically the last time I got a crush on a guy. My brain just went “nein.”) 

It’s also really, really hard if I’d previously really trusted and looked up to someone and that happens. That’s really when I start wondering if there’s something wrong with *me* or if I’m over-exaggerating things to suit my own narrative. 

Is there anything, or anyone you feel safe with?

My dogs, my cats, my mom, for the most part, though she does have the little habit of telling my aunt things in the name of “family unity” when I had meant for it to be a personal matter. See: When I begged her not to tell my aunt I’m an atheist because my aunt is REALLY STAUNCHLY conservative, when I begged her not to tell her that I wanted to get out of the country because of the situation at home + politically, etc. 

Safety is a generally relative concept, anyway; I can trust that my mom and aunt won’t abandon me to be raised by wolves and will be there for me when I need them barring a huge catastrophe, I can trust that my mom can help me work through an anxiety attack and keep a solid 80% of my secrets, I can trust that my friends can handle my various eccentricities and questionable sense of humor, and I can trust that my dogs and cats will be with me no matter what because I’m the one who feeds them and gives them scritches. 

It’s all much less depressing than it sounds. 

XXII. The Fool: How much weight do you give to other people’s opinion? What is an adventure you were part of - or you wish you could be part of? Is there something you have an endless passion for? 

How much weight do you give to other people’s opinion?

I blame it on the bullying, but I have this odd…thing where I simultaneously have an “I don’t give a fuck” and “I give every fuck” attitude to people’s opinions. Like, on one hand, there’s probably not been a single feature of mine that’s not been ripped to pieces at some point. I mean, I had comics drawn of me having sex with my cats by my best friend at the time when I was 12 years old. It was a lovely, lovely period in my life. And, as a result, I think I developed a very self-deprecating sense of humor, as well as the idea that, well, I’ll be ripped to shreds no matter what, so I might as well express myself and damn the consequences. 

Well…that and being homeschooled for most of my high school years. It’s astonishing how much your opinions and interests can diverge if you’re not under the pressure to necessarily conform.  

But, at the same time, it also made me sensitive to personal criticism, as I have this idea that everyone hates me and is just being polite, that I’m really annoying, etc. One of the things that actually devastated me in college was reading teacher feedback, because even though I knew they were just trying to help me become a stronger academic, the thought that they might find me…wanting in some way stung. Especially when it was teachers that I really respected and looked up to. (Which, tbh, was all my teachers because I have a painful…thing when it comes to authority figures and trying to appease them and-Oh God I’m actually Peyrol minus the homicide, erratic temper, and questionable BDSM. That and our faculty was lovely.) I legit had to have my mom read the feedback, because I wanted to have it filtered and I was, like, worried one of them would say, “Rachel, you are a disgrace to the Humanities program and this school. This paper is shit. Goodbye” or something. 

I’Il often find myself softening my opinions or keeping silent if I feel like it could be dangerous, or if it might affect someone’s view of me, and I’m hyper-sensitive about, say, pauses in a conversation, because I’ll be like, “Oh, I’ve done it now.” And then in the next second, I’ll reblog, “FUCK OFF ANTIS” on my blog because, again, it’s a strange duality…thing with me. 

What is an adventure you were part of - or you wish you could be part of?

Oh, God, I’ve had some wild times. There’s the time that we were moving and ended up driving over a thousand miles overnight in a fifteen passenger van because we had 17 cats, two birds, and a bunny with us. And then had to travel BACK the next day because we had business to attend to back in our old place. 

OR the time that my late uncle lost his keys on a rollercoaster at Busch Gardens and so we ended up having to travel over three hours from where we live to rescue him, which is how we ended up meeting his boyfriend for the first time. 

OR the time that we picked up the youngest of our three dogs, Riley, when we ran into a curb less than ten minutes out, encountered various and assorted technical issues during the ~4 hours of the rest of the trip, and THEN when we were going back I had my hands nearly nibbled to death by an overeager puppy who was excited by the prospect of new friends. (This is how we met the nice old lady who gave me the money for the Toho 1789 + Riley is a sweet dog once he’s settled, so it was #WorthIt)

I really, really want to get out of the States, travel to different places around the world…see more musicals. Definitely see more musicals. I’m very aware of how limited my experience is, not having ever been out of my own country. (Unless you count briefly being over Canada when I was en route to Alaska, which I don’t.) I would love to go to Ireland and see some of the places mentioned in the various myths that I’ve read so much about, possibly embarrass myself by crying over Bres’ grave; I’d love to hit up the Tower of London or Versailles; go to either a Toho or Takarazuka musical in Japan (If and when my Japanese improves beyond「 アメリカ人です 」since I’d really rather be able to show my face in public). See snow again, maybe, since I do miss it.

 My old college offered study abroad trips to Oxford over the summer and I REALLY wanted to go, but, alas, it was insanely expensive + I wasn’t entirely sure about how much I would be able to enjoy myself if I had schoolwork to do, since I’d end up focusing on making that perfect rather than actually appreciating the trip. 

Alternatively: The Ghost Tour at Saint Augustine. I want to go on it SO MUCH. 

Is there something you have an endless passion for? 

Any of the musicals I’ve been lucky to get into (Especially. The one. You know the one. The one that I don’t even need to mention given that it consumes about 80% of my brain power at any given point), anything related to Irish Mythology, especially when it comes to my boy Bres, the French Revolution even though it also scares me because the scope of it’s so large and I never really feel like I make progress in it, female villainesses who can kill me and I would thank them (which is…a disturbingly large amount, actually). 

In general, I’m the type of person who develops special interests where I’ll become OBSESSIVE over learning everything I can about something and kind of latch onto it, so anything I’ve developed that for kind of goes here by default. 

And my dogs. Because they’re Good Bois (+ one Good Girl) and I honestly am not sure where I’d be atm without them. And my cats for tolerating my shit for this long. 

[shoushatohaisha]

review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)

so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.

about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.

about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.

about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.

without further ado...

first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.

i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"

and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)

the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.

with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD

i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.

the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.

wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.

during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.

also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD

nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.

new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD

and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.

now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.

sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.

anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.

IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.

new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!

kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.

tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)

last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)

it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—

his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;

part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD

anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.

(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐

[miaou-ml]

Another year of progress!

Oops...this is getting posted a little late because I forgot about it... XD

January: Nothing here because I wasn’t doing too good at the start of the year. Things happened...I lost some friends. I do have some hidden doodles from this month, but the only art thing I posted was a vent comic, and I REALLY didn’t want that to be in the art summary. On a positive note, I did manage to create a complex MMD model, custom physics and everything.

February: Another somewhat slow month. College ate up pretty much all of my time, because I wasn’t aware that I was taking too many classes. The piece from this month I did for my illustration class, in which we had to create a new design for a playing card.

March: So this was when I got into Bendy and the Ink Machine, and it quickly became my [autism] special interest. I drew a LOT of art for it within two months, both digitally and traditionally. I don’t do a lot of traditional inking stuff, but BATIM got me more into wanting to do it.

April: More BATIM stuff! This month I had my Animation 101 final due. The assignment was to make an animation that copies a certain animation style, so I went with a 30s look. You can see the animation here. I drew this poster a few weeks later because I got the idea from the animation. 

May: I went to redraw some old af humanized Viva Pinata designs this month, cus I felt like rewatching the show. I was able to post a bit more art this month since the college semester was over, although most of it was just doodles. Other notable things I drew was my second BATIM contest entry, and the fake SU screenshot that people believed was real.

June: This was the month that I made Mimi, and my best friend Kurt established Raziel’s character. I watched Howl’s Moving Castle for the first time, because he said that Howl’s personality was similar to Raziel’s, and that’s where this month’s pic came from. Their relationship gives me life tbh.

July: Huge month for me and my art. I participated in the annual Artfight, which is basically a series of spontaneous art trades. People on the opposing team will draw your characters to “attack” your team, and you have to draw them a revenge attack in return. Last year, I drew 40 pieces, and I’m definitely going to do it again this year! Constant drawing massively improved my art.

August: This month was pretty slow. I began to focus on creating a more complex painting style, to better myself from last year. This painting I did is of my character, Mallory. At the end of the month I started attending community college, to transfer credits back to my main college later this year.

September: Another month where I didn’t post much. A lot of my time was spent focusing on college work. When I wasn’t doing that, I was either doodling (traditionally on paper, preparing for inktober), or playing Overwatch with my friends. I’d gotten the game when it first came out, played it for a bit, but then stopped for over a year after my main computer couldn’t handle it, so this month I finally started playing again.

October: Second biggest month for my art. I completed inktober, and I’m proud of myself for sticking through all the way! This piece however, was what I painted for Kurt’s birthday. It was the one single digital piece I did this month.

November: After inktober, I became lazy and pretty much just doodled, without fully finishing any pieces, which is why there is such few art in the last two months. This was one of the few things I did finish. I’m most likely going to draw these guys a bit more, since I really like the designs that I made.

December: I literally only posted twice this month. I was in a really bad slump for several weeks after the semester ended, so all I was doing was doodling and playing Overwatch. I didn’t have the energy to really finish anything until the end of the month. Marvin the Martian has been my favorite cartoon character of all time ever since I was a kid, and I’ve been trying to draw him ever since I first started art.

[ryodan]

Do you watch Boruto? What do you think of the newest episode that covers Gaiden? Satisfactory or no?

ask me something you’ve always wondered

no I dont ahh its too childish and fillery for my taste. I am on 4G and i’m using my data to read and watch Haikyuu!! plus update my tumblr and study (ill watch gaiden when the whole thing is out when im back home with stable wifi). From what i’ve seen i’d give the animated rendition a 5/10. I am not impressed tbh, the animation style after the last kept going down hill and it’s at lowest point rn. The characters look nothing like their manga counterparts and they aren’t even trying to make them look better, the designs are messed up, the animation is so stiff it’s like you can TELL they used the same drawing and frames to avoid spending money. I am beyond done with SP. That scene with Sarada in the library is just unnecessarily stupid and makes no sense and the lead up to gaiden just shat on ss with the 2 minute date bullshit. People bitch that people who complain are setting the bar too high but? do these people even WATCH anime? Naruto has been shat on by the rest of the anime community for its shitty animation quality, inconsistent fillers and annoying fan base.  

‘they just want to meet a weekly deadline!’ then fucking WAIT like other animation studios do…don’t fuck up kishimotos immaculate art, dont destory Tokyo Ghouls story in s2 and don’t help fuel Bleach’s shipping wars you unprofessional shit house. Why are anime like SNK, BNHA and Haikyuu!! held at such high standards? They give themselves time to ensure the best project execution. I am not asking SP to wait 90 years like SNK but holy fuck the amount of fillers and shitty animation quality is a viral joke at this point..RIGHT after the wedding episodes (which were made to be ugly comic relief style to avoid budget overload) boruto was released which already meant screwed up stiff frame animation that makes me so annoyed because SP CAN do better..they did some crisp frames for bleach, some beautiful fluid fights in naruto, some seamless frames in TG and all in all have had some great graphics. If they can pull some amazing animations like that then how good will they be if they fucking WAIT and do the simplest job- give people what’s in the manga since you are shitty writers and animate to the best of their capacity. Stop with the excessive fillers that shit on characters and add plot holes to the original work that the author worked so hard on and simply do your god damn job.

A simple example since -ic yall havent noticed ive been wanking the haikyuu!! series a lot lately- you started this rant, lets look at these two animation frames of 2 hinatas, one more superior than the other

see how the animation literally focuses on one drawing, moving the frame and adding that effect to give the LEAST amount of effort into the animation? Anime is meant to be pretty and fluid, this is literally just MOVING LINES.

look at this fluid ass eye shot where EVERYTHING is thought out, down to the wind motions moving the hair as he jumps. There is more than one drawing of the eye to give the scene fluidity and even the ‘still’ frames such as his hair are drawn more than once to make them move seamlessly and give them kinetic momentum. The hair moves with the wind and the eye focuses on the enemy as he moves. Thats an animation.

In fact, further wanking haikyuu!! (and literally any other series with a studio that gives a shit) here is a fun fact: in an animation of orange boys eyes, they are made to move with MULTIPLE different drawings, as much as SIXTY different drawings for an animation that lasts less than 5 seconds…and then when the studio goes into one drawing animations they make sure to add movements, shadings and vibrant backgrounds to still make everything look appeasing to the eye and fluid. Compare that to SP who do one drawing FULL BODY frames and do their best to avoid spending time and money to yield results that are as beautiful as THIS

In that jump scene the camera angle and fade out is literally just made to symbolize one of the characters view of the match as he is so absorbed into giving the jumping kid the ball and is so singularly focused on the ball…this goes FULL circle (yes they even kept that much attention to detail in mind) when the match is then shown in an objective manner for the audience with the camera angle showing us the height of his jump and it shaking to show us the impact of it all and then fades out again because orange kid is focusing as he spikes the ball…it’s literally a beautiful piece of animation. They went as far as animating an exaggerated idealized CORRECT and accurate to real life volleyball pose..the attention to detail pays off immensely. 

Even when on a budget, anime is the art of animation..the entire genre of media is based on aesthetic animation. Every shading, shadow, camera angle given by the director, frame and drawing makes a huge difference to the visual story telling aspect of the story. SP not only fucks up the basic definition of an anime but they ALSO add their shitty writing to top it off. 

sorry for the rant omg I went off on a tangent.

What about you? What do yall think?

[franeridart]

Hey hey hey, so I've seen your lack of Bokutoo art (or haikyuu art in general) and at first I was going to comment on it, but then I saw your art theft post and I hope that won't have too much influence on your haikyuu art? Of corse I'm gonna let you post whatever you'd like to post, I just miss it a lot y'know :0

Well. Okay, I’ve talked about this a lot but I understand people don’t just read all my answers and it’s totally my fault for procrastinating on that faq page so let me just go through this again in an as clear way as possible?

I haven’t stopped drawing for hq! As a matter of fact in the last week alone I have posted one, two and three things for that fandom for a total of five portraits and a three panels comic

That said I understand with the rhythm I update this blog you might think “well, that isn’t much at all, is it?”, which, again, is my fault because - even though when compared to most art blogs’ update schedules eight drawing in one week is more than enough - I’m the one who set the rhythm here

The “problem” with hq is that all my favorite characters are currently absent from the manga and there’s no anime airing, while at the same time my other main fandom (bnha) has both an interesting arc going on in the manga AND an anime season airing right now - I hope you’ll understand if my interest at the moment is mostly focused there, that’s a continuous stream of inspiration I have coming my way

To add to that some parts of the Haikyuu!! fandom are being unrespectful of what I post (this includes reposting, treating my stuff as if it were templates for their own art instead of ship/character specific content, honestly unrespectful comments and tags under a lot of my main ships posts and so on) which, you’ll excuse me, but dampens the joy I get from posting art a lot

Moreover, the creative side of the hq fandom is being, at least for what concerns the zones I frequent, pretty damn quiet lately, so I can’t say I get much inspiration from there either

I haven’t stopped and I can’t see in my foreseeable future myself stopping posting stuff for haikyuu!!, and all things considered I don’t think I’m posting too little for it either? Art and inspiration aren’t things I want to force, if I started I would stop finding drawing enjoyable really damn fast and I can’t let that happen - please be understanding, I first and foremost draw for myself, I can’t help it if sometimes I get stuck on one fandom or another

Anon said: Have you seen the latest chapter of haikyuu? I like how they are showing more Daishou. It’s fun to see his reactions and thoughts about nationals! And I will love to see him in your art style.

Anon, my friend!!! I have drawn Daishou in the past! As a matter of fact the last one was just after he appeared again in chapter 251! I love that snake boy a lot, seeing him there made me really really happy haha

Anon said:SAEKO NEE-SAAAAANNNNNN

SHE WAS AMAZING WASN’T SHE OH MY G O D !!!

Anon said:Kirishima and/or Bakugou being good at singing. And then gay happens.

BOI ANON I have drawn these boys singing to each other a whole lot already (like here or here) at this point I would assume you guys were fed up with it hahaha (… can’t say I won’t ever have them sing to each other again, though)

Anon said:DADZAWA IS SO REAL! But I’m actually so amused because Izuku is basically Ron Swanson with his “I can do what I want” permit except Aizawa wrote and signed the permit

No no anon it’s even better because Aizawa wasn’t like “you can do what you want” he was like “you can do only what I tell you you can do and it just so happens that I’m deciding that you can do exactly what you want to do but it’s still my decison” it was amazing lmao I love Aizawa so much poor man

Anon said:friendo, whats your opinion on the traitor kaminari theory? it breaks my heart but it has a good backbone to it?? like in the new chapter, theres a character that looks like kaminari’s dad/uncle/older family member and im worried for my electric baby

I still don’t think Kaminari is the traitor - as a matter of fact, I still don’t think the traitor is any of the kids. If that’s how it’ll turn out to be I’ll be sad about it, for sure, but right now I really, really don’t believe it. It’s true that the Kaminari-is-the-traitor theory is very cleverly worded and super convincing, but a lot of the things in it are really stretched out as far as I’m concerned

ie, taking the weird faces Horikoshi makes him make in the sketches and using them as proof that he’s got a double face? Too far out for me; his original design being that of a villain? Deku’s original design was villain-ish too, no one is calling him a traitor; taking the expression he made when Aizawa told him he could go to the camp and making it sound like he didn’t want to go? Might be believable as long as you don’t take into account the fact that he had just had a conversation with Midoriya in which he told him it was impossible Aizawa would let them go and that Midoriya was just being too optimistic, the “what the actual fuck is this” expression makes a lot more sense in that context; the fact that he makes clever quotes and uses a complex vocabulary used to say that he’s pretending to be stupid is unfair towards the very real possibility of him just not liking studying or thinking things through analytically but otherwise enjoying reading and being fairly intelligent in his own way?? - in the theory it’s also mentioned that it’s weird how during USJ he was worried about an electricity villain overcharging him as if that’s not perfectly normal, having an electricity quirk obviously doesn’t stop him from suffering overcharges, and later during the end of term exam they say it’s “weird” he refused to go all out with his qurik from the start, again, as if that weren’t a perfectly sensible decision in that context (you have to keep in mind that Kaminari is also studying to become an hero, him going “wait a second, maybe keeping on going stupid and putting myself out of commission every time I fight isn’t the right choice” is perfectly in line with him growing up and learning)

Now I don’t have the post open in front of me and it’s been a while since I’ve read it, but most of the theory as far as I get it is based on the idea that Kaminari can’t be lazy and an airhead and might talk without thinking now and again (the Stain comment), but at the same time be clever in his own ways, which just isn’t convincing for me. It’s taking this character’s three dimensionality and making it a plot-hole, why would you want to do that

(on a similar note, the Kirishima-is-the-traitor theory doesn’t convince me for the same kind of reason, it’s all based on the idea that he can’t just genuinely like Bakugou for who he is without having second reasons for it, which is just unfair and cuts too much off the personality of a really good, well written character)

As far as the new villain guy goes, I understand why most of the fandom might be weary and linking him to Kaminari, but we don’t know his color scheme nor his quirk and the pattern on his hair isn’t even a lightning bolt - Horikoshi has had to make up unique designs for a whole damn lot of characters, the fact that one random guy might have something similar to Kaminari isn’t really enough to make him his dad (again, it might turn out to be true, but in my opinion it’s still too early to make theories about it). Also, this guy is from the Eight Precepts. Weren’t you all trying to link Kaminari to the League of Villains? Isn’t the traitor supposedly tied with the League? How many people is this boy working for even

By the way, during the USJ attack the villains had informations they couldn’t have gotten from any of the kids aside from Midoriya (the “they told me All Might was getting weaker” comment) and tbh that’s enough for me to not believe any of the student is behind the informations leak, but all of this is just my opinion

Anon said:Your thoughts on mob psycho 100??

LOVE IT  one of the best anime I’ve watched lately, without any doubts

Anon said: Being a bokuroo artist? More like drawing art but every time someone says brOTP, you get steadily more annoyed, lol - love your art, btw; you have a really cute and fluffy style

Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh… sadly you kind of grow used to it but it is incredibly annoying and one of the reasons why I’ve been drawing it less, t b h

Anon said:I love the concept of the bakubowl because unlike with other characters where everyone’s like “omf they’re so cute!!” the bakubowl is just “why is he like this. why do we ALL like him for this ffs”

WELP I don’t ship Bakugou with everyone so I can’t say I’m fond of the idea as a whole, and the ships I do ship Bakugou in are with the people that actually do like him for whatever reason (lmao), but I can understand why you’d find it a fresh take on the concept! 

Anon said:Ily your art gives me life

AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!! *O*