#tbh i never understood all the hate she got because like

[camelspit]

Alina and coral for the portrait 😅

she is everything. he (alden) is just ken.

@skylilac @callas-pancake-tree @arson-anarchy-death @steal-nightmares-leave-dreams @abubble125 @purplesoup-lad-le @gay-otlc @thefoxysnake @keeper-of-the-lost-dadwin @oracle-cookies-deactivated114070 @kamikothe1and0lny @you-have-been-frizzled @presidentroarie @cowboypossume @even-if-in-another-time @that-glasses-dog @nyxpixels @katniss-elizabeth-chase @slozhnos @sofia-not-sophie @treehouse-arson @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat @purpleunicycle @raeny-nights-and-faery-lights

[anthromimicry]

sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.

[milaatyourworst]

"Why can't you say it back?" Madison Beer

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warnings: might be some grammar errors. idk what else tbh.

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For as long as you could remember, all your relationships ended the same way. You never could say 'I love you' back. It was as if the words got stuck in your throat. You choked. Usually, everything came out like word vomit, but not those. Those words were like a path a vulnerability you were not ready to take. And it wasn't your fault, you don't think. You never received an 'i love you' as a kid. So you never experienced love. It was like it never existed in your world.

Madison made you feel things you never thought you could. She did everything you never got to receive as a kid. She gave you hugs, which you thought you hated. You told yourself you hated physical touch, but when Madison touched you, a sense of warmth filled your body. You'd never admit it though. The thought of enjoying someone else's touch was horrifying. Her words were so sweet. They felt so scripted. All the compliments she gave you, you never believed them. When she told you you were pretty, you couldn't bring yourself to accept it. You could never bring yourself to tell her. You didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Unfortunately, you did. She got frustrated when you wouldn't open up to her. She went on and on about how communication was the key to good relationships. You didn't say a single word. You physically couldn't. The words were stuck in your throat. All you could do was nod. Not that that was any different from what you do. Communication wasn't something you were good at. You were trying, at least you thought you were. It's not that you couldn't trust her, you were scared too. You never opened up about your feelings. Mostly because you never knew exactly what you were feeling. Just the thought of talking to someone about your feelings freaked you out. More than you could admit. It was one thing speaking about it, but to speak about it without crying was difficult.

The first time Madison said anything remotely close to 'i love you', you froze. She had offered you the world, and you couldn't do the same. She couldn't understand why you were so hesitant. It had been 2 years, why couldn't you say it back? Thankfully, she understood. Even if it took a few words out of you, she was patient. She waited. Always.

That's what you liked about her. She always waited. Even if you never thought you would be ready, she stayed. One of her best qualities. One of her bad qualities, however, was asking questions. Too many questions. She overthought, a lot. Wondered if you even liked her. You did. Wondered if you even loved her. Did you?

That was something you never asked yourself. Did you actually love Madison? And if you did, why couldn't you say it back?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There you were, laying on her bed. You didn't deserve this. Madison was the best girlfriend you could ever ask for. She was so sweet. You wanted nothing but happiness for her and you felt you weren't giving her that. For gods sake, you couldn't even say 'i love you' back.

Madison sat in her gamer chair, playing her favorite game- Dress to Impress. She looked so happy just with her game. You wanted to speak to her so bad, but you felt that you would be a bother. Like always. So you sat in silence.

Eventually, she broke it.

"Hey, baby?"

"Hm?" Your gaze moved up to meet her hazel eyes. Those eyes. She smiled.

"Do you want to do anything else? I know I've just been playing for hours and hours. You just been sitting in silence and I know you like that but-" She rambled. She tended to do that a lot. It didn't bother you. You never liked speaking. "Anyway, do you want to like- watch a movie or something?"

You thought for a moment. A movie, in Madison's words meant- cuddles, snacks, blankets and of course, a movie. In your mind it meant- fattening snacks you'd never be able to forgive yourself for eating, blankets that just makes you sweaty, a movie you'll never even pay attention to, and cuddles which meant touching.

"I don't know." You mumbled. She hated when you mumbled. But you never knew how to stop. It was a habit of yours. And you were working on it, you think.

Madison gave you a cold glare. "You can't just say 'I don't know'. You know you want to do something."

She was right. You did want to do something. But you'd never tell her.

"I know you want to do something. What is it?" She stared into your eyes. Those eyes. You sat and stared. "You can't just sit and stare." She came closer to you. "Look, I love you. But these habits of yours are really starting to frustrate me-"

Before she could continue, you did what you always did. "Sorry."

Madison shook her head. "No, don't apologize. I just wish you could talk to me. I love you." You froze. "I know you hate that but it's been 4 years. Why can't you say it back?"

"I-" You attempted. No words came out. Your breathing sped up. Your heart beating faster. Why couldn't you say it back? You knew you did.

"Don't you love me back?" She whispered. Her gaze was soft and vulnerable. The exact look that you feared. You stared.

Why couldn't you say it back? You know you do. Yes Madison, I love you. It wasn't difficult. But it was.

"I love you. Why can't you say it back?"

Yes. i love you. i love you. i love you. Why can't you say it back?

"I-"

i love you. i love you. i love you.

"I hate you."

no idiot. i love you. i love you.

"What?" You watched as she stood up.

No no no no. Tell her. Tell her. i love you.

"I like you."

i love you. Why can't you say it back?

"What?" She sat back down. That's a start.

i love you.

"I love...you?"

yes. i love you.

Madison gasped. "Did you just-"

"I love you." You whispered. You felt yourself, for once in a while, smile. The biggest smile formed on Madison's lips.

"I love you."

i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. You said it back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: its not that good but i felt like i needed to just write something along these lines. commitment issues is a really big thing a lot of people struggle with. i, for one struggle with the complete opposite but im starting to feel the side of fear of commitment.

[kingconia]

hiiiiii! ugh, i am not sure if you take requests? but if you do, can i ask you leona one, where reader is the descendant of scar, and afterglow savanna always treats her like shit, thinking she will try to kill farena or leona?? idk tbh the dynamic between her and others, but maybe with a prompt "why are you keep protecting me?" "because if anyone kills you it will be me?" BUT NOT ANGSTY MORE LIKE CHEESY ONE like she is joking she has no plans to do so!!

(also maybe she is friend with azul bc both of them manipulative masterminds idk)

A/N: that's actually sounds so fun. i am genuinely invested, though, i had never thought that someone will ask me to write something. but, oh, darling, thank you. i would love do that more, so if anyone wants, i am open to your ideas.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR × READER, WHO IS SCAR'S DESCENDANT

warnings: not detailed mention of blood and some threats with mentions of gore? it is lighter than it sounds.

Hatred followed you from a very young age. And it wasn't necessarily yours.

You were six, when you learned to understand that kindness will not help you survive. But cruelty will.

Abandoned, throwed away, you were nothing in the world of kings and queens. Your whole existence were cursed from the day you made your first breath, and no one was going to tell you why. Why you were so hated by the whole country, by every single person in your motherland? Why your mother turned away from you? Why you were considered to be dangerous?

But the more you grew, the more you understood that it is for the better. Their hatred, their suspicion, their rage. It made you the independent person. The predator.

And you were fine with that.

At some point, you stopped caring about what all of them thought. Instead, it filled you with even more power to move forward.

And so you survived. Proudly, with chin up to the sky, ignoring the way others treated you.

Savannaclaw wasn't necessarily bad, though. You thought it will be; Farena Kingscholar never being kind to you, and his kingdom therefore, too. But Savannaclaw was different. There, your only king was Leona. And Leona didn't care whose descendant you were.

If anything, he never even took it seriously.

”Why the fuck I would care about that cursed king?” He spitted it out once, as Ruggie asked him in what he thought was a whisper, as you passed by. ”Stupid lion is dead for a long time. Why would she care about him, even?”

And that was it. Savannaclaw never acted like you were enemy, no one glared at you with participation, no one was suspicious about your every single world.

You were free.

And the freedom you had gained, finally, made your loyalty to Leona stronger.

So, you didn't really like, when someone offended him.

It was your job to annoy him, to try break his trust towards you by cynical remarks—”oh, my King, you shouldn't trust me with your nephew. What if I tear him apart?” or ”Tsh, tsh, little lion... Haven't your brother told you? You shouldn't really turn your back to the hungry animal,”—even if he never cared.

And if someone tried to steal your job... Well, that would be really-really bad.

”Remind me once again,” you yawned, throwing a grape in your mouth, ”why I am not allowed to fight that Pomfiore boy for you?”

Azul chuckled.

”You got almost expelled twice, tigerfish. I am flatted that you are willing to try it for me, too, but I have more interesting ways to get my revenge.”

Azul was probably the strangest friend you ever had—and you had the only one, who was Jack—but it wasn't necessarily bad. He always got you involved in his plans, and as both of you were thinking about this or that in complete solitude, scheming and laughing, you thought it actually was nice.

”I caught him applying foundation on his face a week ago,” you share with him quietly. ”On the whole face. And let me say, he is not that perfect without it, Zul.”

He gasped dramatically.

”And that after interview, where he says he hates unnatural beauty?!”

”Mhm.”

”Tigerfish, you are so cruel,” he smiled. ”I love it.”

”Sure you are,” your ears moved by itself and you turned your head on the right. ”Do you hear that?”

Voices. Very loud, very angry voices. Usually, you would ignore that, but it was a familiar scent that made you move forward, ignoring Azul's question.

”Are you fucking insane, Hunt?”

”Oi, oi, I only cared to see if you would react immediately!”

You groaned.

Fucking Pomfiore kids.

As you stepped closer, your annoyed expression shifted to a worried one. There was a crossbow in Rook's arms, and Leona was holding an arrow is his hand, face angry.

So, it was it: little hunter tried to hunt Leona down.

Before he acknowledged your presence, you moved forward, raising Rook by his collar, right from behind.

”Don't get frightened, little one,” you said, voice, despite a smirk, vicious. ”I only cared to see if you would react immediately.”

Leona scoffed.

”Aha, how nice! Jolie Lionne! Had you came to save your pretty prince from the trouble?”

You frowned.

”He is the king, hunter.” Your turned him to face you properly, still leaving him hanging in the air. ”Listen to me, sweet human, the next time I see you trying to shoot him, I will scratch your eyes with my claws, and eat them in front of your fake housewarden. And then, I am going to make a feast. Do you hear me?”

His face scrunched for a second, but he put his usual smile on the face rather quickly.

”My, my... We were merely playing! But, fine, fine. As you wish, jolie lionne!”

You freed him, and this time he was rather quick with leaving.

Other students shun you actively, so it wasn't surprising. Beyond Savannaclaw, Azul, and, well, Lillia Van Rouge, other either ignored your existence or avoided you in fear. You had one the hell of the reputation, and your own attitude never helped to fix the damage that rumours left on you.

”I didn't ask you to do that,” Leona clicked his tongue, moving to your right side.

”You never do,” you shrugged. ”I don't really care.”

Maybe it was the fact that you never denied his power, never looked down at him, that helped him to make a peace with the fact that you were so eager to protect him. Because, well, in the beginning, he thought it was offensive.

”You are so fucking strange that, do you know that?” You repeated your previous action, and he continued. ”If I were you, I would love to kill me. And my brother. Especially him. But you keep doing that. Keep guarding me like a lapdog. Why?”

Why?

You wondered about it too, once. But the answer came easily to you.

It was a boy with unusual scar on his young face that stared at you without hatred the first. Simply stared, without any particular emotion, and handed you a little red flower, before leaving.

And though, he probably didn't remember it...

It was still him, who looked at you without despise in his eyes, when both of you grew up, meeting here and there, as your presence should have been always controlled and seen by the royal family.

And it was him, who made Savannaclaw respect you, as he joined this school, a year later than you did.

It was always him.

”Having trouble with creating another lie?” He smirked, moving to stop in front of you, clearly disliking the fact that you ignore his presence.

”You want to know why, Leona?” You tilted your head, meeting his curious eyes. "Because I consider you to be the King, more than your brother ever will, and therefore, I should protect you.”

Before he opened his mouth, you caught him by the chin, moving him closer. He stared at you, not annoyed, but quite lost by this action. Your eyes shimmered with a familiar hunger that always lived inside you.

A hunger for fame. Acceptance. Peace. Blood. Cruelty.

Love.

”And because,” your lips brushed the corner of his, as you breathed out on his cheek, ”if anyone ever tries to rip out your golden heart, my King, it is going to be me.”

His lips curled in a same wicked smile that played on your face.

And as his arms fall on your hips, he accepted the game.

”What a coincidence,” his whisper came out like a purr. ”Because if ever try to rip our my heart, my dear Consort, I will allow it to you.”

A laugh that escaped your chest sounded so taunted that others would find it scary.

But you know Leona didn't. In fact, he enjoyed it very much.

And both of you had a very long journey to find out what else you enjoy about each other. Gladly, you had plenty of time for that.

[frevandrest]

more on jamgate?

i read charlotte’s memoirs years ago but i dont remember the details

Sorry for my late reply! I love to call it "The Great Jamgate of 1793", but in truth I am unsure when it happened. Does anyone know when Charlotte persuaded Robespierre to come live with her, but then he got sick and Mme Duplay brought him back to Duplays? The jamgate happens after that. (So it could be the Great Jamgate of 1791 or 1792, lol).

Charlotte tells us how she loved making jams for her brother, who had a taste for sweets and fruits. She would send her maid to Duplays to deliver jams, and, according to Charlotte, Mme Duplay always had a snarky comment on that.

The worst happend one time when Mme Duplay sent the maid back, refusing to accept jams, saying something along the lines of "Bring that back, I don't want her to poison Robespierre".

Naturally and understandably, Charlotte was shocked and hurt. It was inded a shitty thing to say, even as a "joke". In line with the narrative Charlotte built about herself in the memoirs, she claims that she "swallowed her sadness" and said nothing to Mme Duplay or Maximilien (as to not cause him pain).

Of course, we have to remember that this is Charlotte's version of the story (we don't have one from Duplays), and Charlotte is not always the most reliable of the narrators. Still, the anecdote seems too specific to just be made up, so I am willing to believe that there was indeed a Great Jamgate of some sorts. We do know that Mme Duplay didn't like Charlotte much, and it's possible that she ridiculed her cooking skills. (Those two women seemed to fight over who would pamper Maximilien). Mme Duplay obviously saw herself as superior, and tbh, she probably was, but I doubt that she really thought that Charlotte wanted to bring harm to her brother (?)

Still, I can see Mme Duplay saying something snarky about Charlotte's cooking. But I can't guess anything more than that.

The way Charlotte described the Jemgate, it has all the typical story points of her narrative: there is always a harpy woman who hates her and tries to take her away from her brothers. The harpy is horrible, but she (Charlotte) never says anything because she is good and non-confrontational, and she doesn't want to hurt her brothers or cause any problems.

Needless to say, this goes against everything that we know of her character from other sources. Charlotte comes off as too outspoken and stubborn for this meek and obedient image she paints of herself, not to mention that she did get into fights with her brothers.

So it's difficult for me to trust her version of the Jamgate, even though I do believe that there was a Jamgate in some form. In my opinion, it reflected the two women's fight over pampering Robespierre - a fight he seemed to ignore (probably as a woman's thing, as if it wasn't happening because of him). As a sister to an unmarried man, Charlotte absolutely had all the rights to be the one to care for Robespierre and his household - it was an important duty that an unmarried sister would do for her brother. In that sense, Duplays overstepped the social boundaries, even if Charlotte was indeed bad at household duties (my theory is that she was too busy with the revolution but I don't have a concrete proof, except my wishful thinking).

Still, it was Robespierre's fault for not saying anything, and for not recognizing the social mistake of the situation. I believe he really felt pampered and cared for at Duplays in a way Charlotte could not provide (if anything, she was one person and Duplays had 4 women ready to pamper him). A different sister might not have cared, but Charlotte was obviously feeling rejected. Couple this with the Northerner vs Paris anymosity and you have a recipe for disaster. Robespierre not solving the situation is not surprising, given his character (I wonder if he noticed anything/knew/understood what's going on), but it's not an excuse, because it was on him to mediate between Charlotte and Mme Duplay, since the whole mess was about him.

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 3)

Starlo's friend, his BEST FRIEND, the woman who he's been in love with long ago (maybe he still is, we don't know because he's so nice as not to act on his feelings or even show them), the person who was supposed to be there for him, be understanding even tho she doesn't share the same passion, be considerate of the feelings Starlo's always been dealing with (hating being born a farmer, hating himself, hating feeling worthless and unappreciated)... Now, don't get me wrong, there were instances where she did try to understand his obsession and pretend she was into it, but it kinda just... fell flat. Even Ceroba herself admits:

Then there were moments like this:

Yeah, Ceroba's not trying too hard to "roll with his punches" here. It feels like she's constantly trying to figure out whether to be accepting of Star because he's so passionate, or annoyed because they're not on the same wavelength.

Then we get these:

Well, based on all this, you'd think she'd be understanding of him later on, at least on an emotional level (aka understand as to WHY he's been more 'selfish' and 'reckless' ever since Clover arrived,) but...

What now??

You mean how, instead of being miserble like when he was just a farmer who couldn't do much for his community, he now pretends not to be miserable by entertaining you all? Right??? Or do you mean he's changed in a DAY because of Clover?

But what?

huh

So you want to see the farmer who feels worthless, just being the Nice Guy™ he always has been (I decided to check out TV tropes for Star, and found out how he's basically been the "Nice Guy" archetype before Clover came. So I repeat: what's the issue with him stepping out of that for a day? I explained already how the guy's NOT to fully blame here and I really mean it. Yeah he has flaws, yeah Clover's presence brought out the "worst" in him, but we mustn't forget who he's been before that and that his true motivation has always been lifting up everyone's spirits).

The guy made all the sacrifices he could (not only worked hard to make the entire Wild East thing come to fruition, but basically became a rebel, when you remember humans are hated by monsters, and he's basically openly idolizing them) for his loved ones and even strangers. It's always been him relying on outer validation and doing stuff for others in order to feel important. But he never felt truly understood. By training Clover, he actually got to spent time with a human kid who's so much like him and shares not only the same love for westerns but the same "justice" quality. Sure, Ceroba had tried to understand, but ultimately failed and Star himself had to explain to her why he'd been acting the way he did, after Showdown.

You don't want him to have pride in himself and feel cool for a single day, Ceroba? She mentions how he's never been as ecstatic as he was that day. So in other words, Star's always been a wild card when it came to the sheriff business but not THIS wild. Which I'm sure means how other monsters have always been his main focus, and not him acting all arrogant (ties in well with that "Nice Guy" archetype). Even the training didn't feel too crazy to me, tbh. He only locked Martlet up because of the potential of his town being shut down. It's a town that he's been working on for so long, the town that makes him feel like he's more than just a nobody. Plus, he says how locking Martlet up was only a temporary solution:

I feel like I've said this a million times before, but Starlo's not a bad guy or a jerk, he just wants to be appreciated and loved and understood. Yet even his closest friends couldn't put themselves in his shoes and think: Why? What's the true motivation of Star idolizing Clover? Of him apparently acting "out of hand"?

I'll post the last part of this huuuuge rant sometime soon

[cancerian-woman]

I won't be offended if you prefer to delete this but your post about Tyler had me thinking...

Caroline really made his grief over his mother dying about her so much so that she issued the worst ultimatum and left herself with...

A drunk old man that used to be her teacher.

A long time friend that never seemed like he got over Elena and definitely has codependent issues with his brother so much so that he sacrificed himself willingly a day after their wedding.

And a power hungry hybrid who gave her money he could more than afford to give and said pretty words but also tortured, enslaved and killed people she was connected to....and also definitely had codependent issues with his brother.

I cannot fathom it.

All true facts. It’s late here so a meta! :D

As a huge Forwood shipper and I’m equally very critical of them. It’s a great ship for them both at first, then becomes a ship only for Caroline’s needs and development which isn’t fair to Tyler That Klaroline/Steroline shadow made those fans believe Tyler was the worst Caroline could get. When in reality he was the BEST romantic partner and friend she ever had.

What upsets me more about that ultimatum that Caroline FORCED is that she’s the only one we see comforting Tyler after Carol’s death. Even before Carol died, and Tyler was skeptical about being alpha she uplifted him and Tyler heavily respected what she had to say and went full force with it. Mind you, this is the same Tyler that broke every bone in his body just to be with Caroline. Then re-agreed to slavery for Care. Forwood communicated with each other and called out their faults. The other tvdu ships weren’t doing that!—then we get this full arc of Caroline’s grief and remember she bluntly told Tyler to get over the fact that she hooked up with Klaus because of her impulses and she’s not good1!!1

The series wanted to bury Forwood and they did so in the worst ways imaginable. Caroline gets pregnant with Alaric’s babies forcibly. (I understand Candice was pregnant but they could’ve hid her belly so Caroline wasn’t pregnant.)-Oh and we can’t forget Alaric was in love with her and proposed.

Steroline was supposed to follow the friends to lovers build up the way Forwood did and it never appears that Stefan is all in the way Caroline is. Tbh, even before the wedding Stefan wanted out the relationship he tried multiple times to end things in s8. Caroline refused and wanted it to work. Building them up after Liz’s death was a choice. Stefan manipulated Caroline heavily to when it came Tyler and their relationship.

Klaroline has no obstacles to pass with them. Klaus may give Caroline pretty things, and money but emotionally he’s never shown to give Caroline any support. When Caroline saves Bonnie from those 12 witches which is her first huge kill(correct me if I’m wrong) since s2 she immediately goes to Klaus and he basically tells her to get away from him. Klaus mentions how she’s too good for that small town but Caroline had never said she hated her home. What she did hate was Klaus grown ass destroying shit. They never had a serious conversation about anything tbh. I did enjoy how Caroline called him out at first but TO’s “you aren’t the villain in my story.” Ruined that. Oh and lol these shippers get on Damon for his rape of Caroline yet somehow, someway excuses that Klaus attempted to rape Caroline too in Tyler’s body…. Anyways! I do think a lot of Klaroline is rooted in Klaus wanting control over Tyler, and Caroline is a way to exert control over Tyler because of his love for her.

Okay this is long af, sorry! To end this off Tyler loved Caroline for who she was. He never wanted her to change, he valued and respected her. Never abused her or anyone she loved. He listened to what she had to say. Caroline’s other love interests NEVER saw her the way Tyler did. Btw, I wish people understood Tyler never, not once slutshamed Caroline for having sex with someone else. He was only mad that she slept with Klaus as if Klaus did not ruin Tyler’s life and murdered his mother. There’s obviously a reason Caroline didn’t want Tyler to know and continued to ignore the boundaries he placed up in s5 so they could just go back to the way SHE wanted them to be. It’s sad they were ruined because 5B of Forwood has moments where you can forget their broken up just based on Forwood’s chemistry. I forgot to add, some fans pretend Tyler couldn’t give Caroline a good life. Tyler wasn’t financially struggling, and would’ve done anything she asked of him. I think it’s a little problematic that Tyler did say everything he liked about himself was Caroline lol. But, he wanted nothing but her and their happiness. Just without the enslavement from Klaus.

Thank you for the ask!

[springseasonie]

Complicated | NJM (M)

Best friend's boyfriend x fem reader

Summary: you love your best friend. you've known each other for practically your whole lives. she knew practically everything about except for one thing: your relationship with her boyfriend Jaemin. all you wanted was to be like her, but now you've taken it too far and are suffering for it.

Warnings: sexual content, kitchen sex (scandalous), vanilla sex, oral (fem receiving), mentions of arguing/yelling, lots and lots of cheating/infidelity, lots of angst grrr, Jaemin is kinda mean tbh :/, may contain errors even though I proof read :p

Word count: 3,4k

Song recs: tread carefully by sza, open the door by lolo zouaï

A/N: heyyy. this is my first official onsehot that I'm posting 😭 kinda nervous to post it ngl. I wanted to post something before my birthday at least and I wrote so many other things but they didn't really stick. I like this this one enough to post it, so I hope you all like it too. Please let me know if I'm missing any warnings. Feed back is always appreciated 🩷🩷 also just know that Maya is just a character and not at all related to Maya from XG PLEASEEEE 😭

You felt so guilty, you really did. You hated yourself everyday for giving into your selfish desires, sinful needs, intrusive thoughts. Your best friend was important to you, the most important person to you in the world, but you couldn't help it. You wanted him, you needed him, and unfortunately he gave himself up to you.

It all started on a camping trip you and your friend group went on last summer. Maya wouldn't leave his side the entire time and it pisses you off. You didn't know why it pissed you off, but something about the way she stuck to him like glue was annoying.

"Jaemin, where are you going," she whined, making a childish pouting face.

"I'll be back. I'm just going to get more beer," he replied.

"I'll come too." You stood up following behind him back into the cabin.

Jaemin loved Maya, he really did, but he couldn't help finding himself becoming more and more irritated by her as the trip went on. Her constant nagging, need to be near him, treating him like he was her personal assistant. He had enough of it but couldn't tell her, in fear it would fuck up the vibe of the group.

Jaemin opened the door, allowing you to walk in before him. "Are you getting more beer," he asked.

You were taken by surprise, expecting for the both of you to walk to the kitchen in silence. "Oh no, I just wanted to get away from the outdoors. I don't like bugs and they get rowdy at night, you know?"

Jaemin chuckled softly at your statement, opening the fridge. You smiled as you watched him. Maya didn't really get him like you did now that you thought about it. Jaemin always laughed at your jokes. There wasn't one moment where the both of you felt uncomfortable around each other. You didn't know if it was because of his friendly nature or his good looks. Maybe it was because he reminded you of the dad you never had. You always felt envious seeing him beside Maya, protecting her, holding her, even when he didn't want to.

You've always envied her since a young age. She was perfect, probably everything you wanted to be. Perfect body, likable personality, amazing fashion. You never really understood why she was friends with you, the both of you being so different from each other. Maya never had trouble when it came to dating, but when you met her new boyfriend, you couldn't help but lothe how perfect their relationship looked and how much you wanted it too.

"Well if you aren't bringing anything, do you mind taking some of these for me," he asked.

"Yeah, sure I don't mind." Jaemin placed a couple of beers in your arms. You began to walk, but tripped on your own feet in the process. You felt your feet struggling to gain balance as you tried to pick yourself up, holding the bottles at the same time.

"Woah, woah. I got you." Jaemin wrapped his arms around you, balancing you. Your back was against his chest, and you could've sworn you felt his heart jump out his chest for a second. "You okay?" Jaemins face was leaning down from behind you. His closeness startled you, but didn't scare you enough to move away.

"Yeah! I'm fine just a bit-" you turned your head slightly, lips almost touching his. Jaemin swore time stopped at that moment. He hadn't felt this way with Maya in a while, but something about you was different. He was intrigued, but he knew he couldn't go further. The both of you knew you couldn't go further.

But at that moment, he didn't care. He didn't care that he was leaning into you, lips brushing over yours, sending tingles through your spine.

"Jaemin stop. You're dating my best friend," you say, trying to reason with him. You want your words to be convincing so badly, but the way they come out in a small whisper makes Jaemin feel insane.

Before Jaemin could even speak, he heard the door open with a loud call for his name. The both of you separated at the speed of light, you clinging onto the bottles and him pretending to look in the fridge for something.

"Jaemin," Maya called in a sing-song voice,"where are you two?"

"In the kitchen," he called back.

Maya waltzed in the kitchen, immediately gravitating to Jaemin. You stood there and watched as she hooked her arms with his. She looks so in love. This was the first time you felt the guilt hit you like a truck. Seeing her so happy, and realizing how you almost ruined it a second before she came into the room was your wake up call, and you were sure you wouldn't fall asleep again.

But it's never that simple is it?

You and Jaemin kissed later that night cleaning up the outside of the cabin. It was the most romantic thing that ever happened to you in your life. Under the moon and stars, in front of a campfire, his hand holding yours. You couldn't get it out of your head. The next morning when you saw Maya, you wanted to run and hide. You wanted to tell her right away, but something in you couldn't pull it out. You couldn't break her heart and neither could Jaemin, so the both of you decided to keep it a secret and never let that happen again.

"Jaemin, please. I need you so bad."

Jaemin kissed your neck feverishly as he sits you on your kitchen counter. His hands grasped your hips tight as his tongue ran down the sides of your neck. Jaemin moved his hands from your hips to your thighs, opening your legs wider. His hands make quick work of your shirt and shorts, throwing them somewhere in your kitchen.

You quickly unncliped your bra, shaking it off your shoulders and arms. Jaemin steps back watching you with hungry eyes as he pulls his shirt over his head, taking it off swiftly.

The guilt came in waves sometimes. It was there, then it wasn't. On some days, it was like a tsunami, flooding and pouring all over your mind. The heartbreak you couldn't escape not just for your best friend, but for yourself. You try to convince yourself that it wasn't all your fault, but instead all Maya and Jaemin, no matter how much they meant to each other, they were not good for each other. There were so many times where she called you crying or where you heard him yelling and shouting at her despite how perfect they looked on the outside. Maya was never as sensitive and soft as she looked though. She had a mean streak everyone around her knew about. Always taunting him and bringing up his parents when she knew him and his mother had a bad relationship. They were truly awful for each other, but at least they had each other.

Jaemin immediately attached his lips to yours, hands gripping your legs hard enough to leave marks. He bit your lip, tugging at it softly. When Jaemin pulls away, his eyes are foggy, almost like he'd been crying. He looks so pretty to you, it doesn't matter what he does. Jaemin dropped to his knees, pulling your legs apart even further. He makes quick work of your underwear, tugging them down roughly and throwing them somewhere obscure. Your hands tangle in his brown hair, watching him kiss up your thighs.

"Don't take your eyes off me," he mumbled against your skin.

And with that, his face completely disappeared between your legs. All you could feel was his lips and tongue working at you like he was made for you. You wanted to feel guilty right now. You wanted to hate yourself and him, but how could you, especially when he made you feel this good.

Jaemin held your legs to stop them from clamping around his head. You hissed in pain feeling his nails dig into your skin. His tongue moved against you quickly, making you against his mouth roughly. Your mouth opens, soft gasps and curses leave your lips.

Jaemin watched you as you basically fell apart right above him. You looked so pretty to him every time you fucked, never a dull moment with you. He didn't feel this way with Maya. Feeling like he could do whatever he wanted to you, the feeling knowing he could ask you if whatever and you would argue. Sometimes he wished that it was you he got to hug and hold and kiss and show around to everyone, but he was grateful to you for even letting him in your apartment.

Your brows furrowed as you felt yourself getting close. You let go of his hair, immediately moving your hand to the back of his head pushing his mouth closer to your core. "God, I'm so fucking close."

Jaemin nods, pulling your body closer to his. You let go of his head, placing your hand behind you to keep your balance. You feel your whole body shiver as a tight ball from your stomach. Your moans escape louder, filling the room and Jaemin's ears. His name spills past your lips over and over while you cum on his tongue, giving him satisfaction. Jaemin stood up, kissing you without giving you a chance to breathe. He pulled you off the counter and turned you around, immediately bending you over the surface.

"I-I thought you had something to do with Maya," you asked.

"She can wait."

You weren't as discreet with your excitement as you thought, but it didn't matter that much to you. Jaemin knew you didn't care and he didn't care either. He didn't care that he was doing something he wasn't, saying things he wasn't supposed to.

Jaemin pulled his length out his sweats, taking a condom out his pocket. You watch him as he quickly slides it on. You don't feel guilty, you never have. In fact, you couldn't be happier, especially when he's pushing himself into you slowly, filling your insides like right now. Every time he fucks you, you swear he was made for you.

Jaemin rocked his hips into you slowly, holding your hips firmly. Soft grunts left his lips while you let out soft moans, head resting on the counter.

"Fuck," you mumbled.

"That feel good?"

You nodded, moans becoming whiny with every movement. Jaemin loved every sound you made. Every moan, groan, whine, even gasp felt so genuine, so real. Only you could help him in his fucked up stressful days. Just your voice, body, just you, but he would never admit that, especially while he was with Maya.

"Faster Jaemin."

Jaemin obliged, thrusting inside of you faster. Your moans became louder with each movement, some muffled by your hands. You looked back at him, immediately being met with his piercing gaze. He loves looking in your eyes when he fucked you. It was something he never really did with Maya because she hated the emotional part of sex. But the emotion was something he always had with you, even with no eye contact and that's what scared him the most.

Jaemin's hands never left your sides, especially when you reached back and clasped your hand with his. He thrust deeper into you, making his brows furrowed in pleasure.

"You feel so good," he mumbled.

"I know baby.."

"Fuck Y/N.."

Jaemin leaned down, leaving small kisses on your neck. You tilted your head giving him more access. Jaemin, who was too wrapped up in his emotions, bit your neck softly. Maya told you he did that to her a couple of times, that he only does it when he's in a heated state of mind. This was the first time he did it to you, and probably the first time you felt so close to him in a while.

"I'm so close Y/N," he moaned softly.

"Me too."

"Cum with me okay?"

He watched as you moaned his name, throwing your head back. The grip you had in his hand grew tighter as your moans grew louder. You were close, so close.

"I-I'm cumming Jaemin," you whined loudly.

He nodded as he felt you squeeze around him tight, making him groan in pleasure. Jaemin came right after you, pressing his hips into you. The both of you stood there, Jaemin slumped over your body in pure bliss that was soon taken over by the irritation of having to leave right away.

You could tell how quickly the mood shifted when he lifted himself from your body and pulled out of you carefully.

"I have to go," he said plainly.

It took everything in you not to break down and cry right there. It was embarrassing really- a girl who just fucked her best friend's boyfriend for the 100th time- is sad because he has to go back to her. You're sad because he can't just stay with you for the rest of the day, just lay with you and cuddle. It shouldn't break your heart but it does every time.

"Can't you just say for a little bit?" Your voice came out small, shaky from trying not to break down. You were pulling on your clothes, hands shaking as he stood in front of you with a blank expression.

"I have to leave," he replied sternly.

"I never ask you for anything-"

"You do this every time." Jaemin's voice began to raise a bit. He often yelled when he was angry, you've heard it and experienced it on many occasions, but it was nothing like what Maya had to go through.

"Why do you act like I'm holding you hostage to stay here? Cut the fucking attitude."

Jaemin clenched his jaw, eyes scanning your face when you lean against your counter silently. He didn't want to leave you. He didn't want to be on the receiving end of your angry text, your threats, your attitude. "Why can't you just understand that I have to go and leave it at that?"

"Because you come here and fuck me, then leave and expect me to deal with it and not be upset," you confess.

"You shouldn't be upset. We shouldn't even be doing this," he groans in his palms.

You look at him, hurt filling your eyes. You hated it when he said it out loud. It's as if he doesn't know the torment that occurs every time you see him at your front door. You shouldn't be doing this, but neither should he.

"This wouldn't be happening if you didn't kiss me," you mumbled.

Jaemin moved his hands from his face, a shocked and confused smile on his lips. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

You looked at him, rolling your eyes. "What," you asked with indifference.

"Did you just try to blame this on me," he questioned angrily.

You stood there silent just staring at him with your arms crossed. You couldn't answer. Jaemin walked up to you, looking down at you with an intimidating, dangerous gaze.

"You can't talk all of a sudden," he taunts.

"Fuck you."

Jaemin let a dry, unamused laugh leave his lips. He backed up from you and leaned on your fridge. "Cursing at me isn't going to undo anything we just did you know."

"Do you think I don't feel like shit when you walk in here? You think I feel good knowing how much I'm hurting Maya?" The tears you tried so desperately to hold back began spilling. You frantically wiped your tears when you looked at you.

"No I don't," Jaemin answered, shrugging his shoulders. "I think you don't care enough to have been fucking me all this time."

"You're one to talk. You initiated this-"

"And you agreed. If you were a good friend, you would tell her, but you're not." Jaemin spoke plainly, heartlessly. His words cut through you like glass and it hurt him a bit more than it should. You needed to hear it though. It was the truth after all. "And you might not think so, but I feel guilty too."

"Coming here fucking me doesn't show it," you spat.

"You're not a saint." Jaemin was beginning to grow tired of your victim mentality. Nothing was ever your fault in your eyes. It was always him or her or them, but nothing was ever on you.

"I don't try to be," you yelled. "I'm going through a lot and-and I'm trying to work on it okay? Jaemin what we have is complicated-"

"Complicated," he questioned. "It's not complicated. Nothing about this is complicated."

"So you're telling me you feel the same way with her," you questioned.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You're telling me when you leave here and go back to her you don't think of me?"

Jaemin's mouth opened to answer you, but he had nothing to say. He did think of you, all the time in fact, even when he was with Maya. Sometimes he couldn't wait to get away from her just to see you for 10 minutes at most. The first time he realized that was the first time he felt guilty. At first, it was just you and him and a small fling, but when you began arguing, that's when he knew it was much deeper. Maya wasn't good for him, but neither were you.

"Y/N…"

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces hearing the way he said your name. You knew what was going to happen. You thought about it a lot more often than you should, but what did you expect? The relationship you built with him was nothing more than spontaneous. It wasn't supposed to go on for this long, just some fun for the both of you.

"Jaemin, please." The tears were spilling from your eyes freely, fat drops of salty water filling on your shirt. You were shaking, emotions at an all time high.

"We can't do this anymore," he said, a pained expression on his face.

"P-please Jae. I can't handle it. We can work something out," you sobbed. You grabbed his hand, holding it tight as hot tears fell from your face.

"I'm done with this, and I'm done with Maya. I can't keep doing this to the both of you and myself. I'm sorry," he mumbled. He watched you cry, wanting to just hold you in his arms, but he couldn't. He couldn't say the things he wanted to say, do the things he wanted to do. "We're gonna have to tell her.."

You looked up quickly, fear taking over your broken heart. You couldn't tell Maya. You've seen what she did to people who crossed her. Maya might've been sweet and funny, but she was ruthless to people she hated. You didn't want to be hated by her, that's the last thing you wanted from her.

"No, no, no. We-we can't," you stuttered, shaking your head.

"I know you're scared of her, but there's nothing that she'll do to you that she won't do to me," he said, attempting to comfort you.

"You don't understand, Jaemin. She will kill me. Please don't tell her," you begged.

Jaemin frowned, letting go of your hand. "I wish you would at least be truthful to her after this time. You don't have to do it for yourself or me, just her. She deserves to know that her best friend broke her trust.'

His words stung your heart. It was like him rubbing salt in the wound over and over again, reminding you of what you did. "Whatever, just leave."

He let out a heavy sigh grabbing his phone and keys from your counter. "Please know that I didn't want any of this to happen."

And with that, Jaemin left. You couldn't watch him walk out the door, not wanting to cry again in front of him. It's unfortunate that the person you had to fall for had to be your best friend's boyfriend, but that's the way life works sometimes. In the end, you'll always be the secret or the second choice. You were used to it and this was no different.

You stood there for at least an hour, staring at the door or your phone hoping he would come back or text you, but you got nothing. The months of just you and Jaemin finished as fast as it started. Not surprising to you in the slightest, just not what you envisioned. You wanted it to end on a poetic note, much more intimate and emotional, but how could you ask him of that? After all, what the two of you were was complicated.

It didn't matter now, what was done was done, and all there was left to do was wait for everything to crash and burn.

[riseswiththesun]

tell me what you really feel

mini drabble/ficlet based off this comic by @mayskalih! i saw her first hc about this and had wanted to write something but then she did the comic and i literally got up and wrote this sksks so thank you for the brainrot LOL

not sure when the canon time frame of this would be I kinda made it vague, so you can imagine it how you want tbh lol, I kinda imagine them a bit older, so like canon divergence/post canon

ao3 link

word count: 2.5k

title inspired by lyrics from the song like or like like by miniature tigers

He hates to admit how much the words sting when Sokka says them. 

Lovebirds.

Zuko feels like he did as a child; the way he feels is almost petulant, wanting something he knows he cannot have. The way feelings he can't quite discern—anger, jealousy, sadness, bitterness, perhaps, he isn't sure, and he doesn't even really want to know—pool at the bottom of his stomach, leaving him uneasy. But he knows all of this is so painfully trivial, pathetic even, how such a nonsensical word almost sends him into a downward spiral of emotions.

But Sokka only confirmed what he’s expected—what he’s known. 

He’s seen the way that the two of them smile at each other, the way she seems almost happier, lighter, brighter, around Aang—something he would be foolish to think she would ever be around him. And so even though he’s been clinging to their few brief moments of amicability, the few moments of vulnerability, and the few brief touches that he’s clung onto more than he likes to admit, he knows his place. He’s grateful for the forgiveness he’s been granted, and that, albeit unfortunately, will just have to be enough.

Zukko never wanted to come to terms with these feelings—if that’s what they even are. He’s tried to tuck them into the back of his mind, being content with where they currently remained—something he didn’t want to grapple with. But now, the painstaking realization has hit him that his feelings are large and grand, knowing that it’s more than just admiration or maybe even something as menial as a crush. He cares, feelings that feel large and grand in a way that he can’t quite comprehend. But he knows that he likes how he feels understood, and he likes how he feels that he’s not someone who’s broken, and he likes that he feels that he is someone who is capable of doing good things—of making a change, of becoming good again. And even aside from that, he likes that she is all things good, that she is hope, that she is someone who deserves better—which is something that he knows that he is not.

So because he cares, he allows for the upturn of his own lips as he watches the two of them, the sun casting down glowing rays—something almost out of a picture, and he thinks to himself: this is what she deserves, what she wants.

And because he cares, cares in a way that it aches in the deepest swells of his chest, he turns to Sokka, nodding in agreeance, the same smile on his face as he speaks.

“You’re right, Sokka,” he says almost breathily, forbidding any sort of indication of the affliction that hangs low in his throat to show in his voice. “We should help them.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆

Katara feels a shift—something is off. 

It feels harmless at first; she doesn’t think much of it. It starts with Sokka’s calculated glances towards her, almost as if he has some sort of intention behind his stares. He has the same look on his face when he talks about war plans or whenever he’s discussing something concerning logistics—he’s plotting, but she doesn’t know what. 

She sees the way he and Zuko share mutual looks, almost as if it’s something they’re in on together. It felt harmless at first, the way they’re insistent on certain things, guiding her to certain parts of the camp, directing her to do certain tasks that normally they wouldn’t have her do, but then it crosses into a certain territory where it raises flags, and she knows that something’s off, but she can’t quite figure out what.

It makes the energy within the camp feel strained—she can tell that Sokka is being sneaky, like he’s hiding something from her, or maybe even all of them, which only floods her with additional anxiety—something she already feels she has enough of, and doesn’t need more of at a time like this; Toph is indifferent as always; Suki constantly looks as if she’s worried, almost as if she knows what’s going on, but refuses to say much of anything; Aang tries to keep spirits up, acting as he always does, which that much she can appreciate, her one small semblance of normalcy; but then there’s Zuko, who she doesn’t know how to describe his behavior, but all she knows is his is the person’s behaviors whose bothers her the most. 

She hates that once she finally found herself comfortable with him, almost seeking him out, almost desiring to be near him, he’s decided he no longer wants to be near her, taking every opportunity to push her away. Every instance in which she attempted to even talk to him, whether it be for something small, or even when she tries to seek out his assistance, he’s quick to call someone in replacement of him.

Katara huffs to herself, feeling exasperated by everything that’s been going on the last few days. Part of her feels like she’s being dramatic, something everyone wouldn’t hesitate to tell her, but she knows that something is wrong, and she hates that it bothers her so much. 

She finds herself roaming aimlessly around their campsite, searching for some form of respite, anything at this to put her mind at her ease. She sees Aang and Zuko sitting and talking, prompting her to try and join them, hoping talking with them could jog her spirits even the smallest bit knowing the two of them are two people that as of lately, are the only ones who she feels like understand her most.

“Hey,” Katara calls out as she approaches them, a smile on her face, “Can I join you guys?” She takes a seat before they can even answer, assuming she’ll receive an eventual yes. She somewhat receives one in the form of Aang’s returned grin, but Zuko’s body stiffens at the sight of her. The smile she saw from afar has been replaced by a face she once deemed as cold—an expression she didn’t associate e 

“U-uh,” he hesitates, quickly standing up. “I-I gotta go…” Walking away before the two of them can question his reasonings for leaving.

Aang and Katara share confused glances, before both their eyes follow Zuko to the other side of their camp, joining Sokka in whatever it is he seems to be doing. Aang gives her a shrug before he continues the conversation, but Katara no longer has any interest in talking, her mood seemingly gone sour.

But most of all, she hates the feeling in her chest, something almost like a tear in her heart, that occurred the second that Zuko left, taking all the air in her lungs with him.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆

Zuko concludes that solitude is the best course of action. 

He knows that he’s doing the right thing, the honorable one even, but it doesn’t make it any more bearable. He almost wishes that he felt the petty rage and jealousy that he felt with Mai—anger, at least, is an easier concept to grapple with. 

But he finds that whatever this is, he can only take in strides, the gravity of his feelings being a harsh reality that he’s been forced to come to terms with. Each time Zuko aids in this plan of theirs, he knows it’s for a greater purpose, one that he would put above his own desires and feelings (something that the Zuko before would have never considered), so he continues, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. 

Though despite being someone who's changed, valuing those who he cares about, it’s in his innate being as a person to at times, wallow. So he concludes that solitude is in fact the best course of action. Because in isolation, there he can bask in his emotions without fear of being questioned; there is nobody to judge his seemingly childish tantrums, when all of it just feels so unfair, and why him; but most of all, there he can live in the bliss in  knowing he’s the only one who knows just how much his feelings have amounted to, and just how much he may have fucked up in allowing them to get to that point. 

So he keeps to himself in the moments that he can, doing whatever tasks he can alone, cherishing the few moments of privacy he gets to wrestle with his emotions. He clings to whatever noises around him, hoping they can somehow bring him back to earth, but it’s normally much to no avail—the crackle of the fire and the buzzing of insects in the night sky only provide cursory background noise to the never ending state of chaos of his mind. 

In Zuko's mind, he feels as though there’s a constant influx of emotions, so much so that he almost doesn’t feel smaller hands against his back, jolting him out of his thoughts, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Hey, Zuko,” a voice that could belong to nobody other than Katara calls out from behind him. He feels his body stiffen at her touch, no longer used to the close contact, even in the few instances it had occurred. Zuko turns to face her, her face showing clear signs of displeasure, but before Zuko can even question why, she keeps talking. “Why are you avoiding me?” She asks, anger, or maybe even hurt, Zuko thinks, hanging in her voice. 

His eyes go wide, but he quickly tries to regain his composure, not wanting to raise any sort of concern. He thinks to what he’s done for the entirety of the week whenever Katara’s had any sort of issue, knowing there’s a better solution than him to her problems. 

“Let me go get Aang…” He says gently, trying not to make matters worse. 

Her face scrunches at this, releasing out a huff—she’s upset. Zuko tries to think of what he could’ve done to upset her, all he’s done since they’ve made amends is try his hardest to do right by her, and he feels like he constantly keeps coming up short, only confirming what he’s known for so long—she deserves better. 

“You’re not going anywhere—you don’t need to get Aang, this has nothing to do with him,” she starts, closing the distance between them. Zuko can see the telltale signs of her anger, the face she makes when she’s fed up with all of them, when they’ve pushed her buttons too hard, or worn her patience too thin—the furrow between her brows, the narrow of her eyes, the rosiness in her cheeks, the exasperation in her voice. “What’s wrong, Zuko? Why are you avoiding me? Why is it that every time I try to talk to you or ask for your help, you suddenly call Aang or leave?” She asks angrily, before her voice gets quiet, as if she’s nervous to finish the rest of her sentence, “Did I… do something?” 

Zuko didn’t think there was a feeling that felt worse than how he already did, but the look on Katara’s face, one that had just been filled with anger, that now holds so much hurt, is enough to make him fess up to the whole ruse—he doesn’t want to leave any room for misinterpretation. 

“I-I wanted to help you and Aang!” He blurts out. “Sokka told me you liked each other, so we’ve… been trying to help you two. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea but… that’s why I’ve been doing that, for you two.”

Her face twists, this time not in anger, but what he thinks is annoyance. Katara lets out a pained huff, pinching her nose and closing her eyes, almost as if she had to take a moment to process his words. 

“You two are idiots,” she sighs. 

This time, it’s Zuko's turn for his face to scrunch up, but for him, rather than anger or annoyance, it’s in confusion. He raises his brows, leaning against the wall behind him, “What?”

Katara steps closer, cutting the distance between them from arm’s length to inches away in just a few seconds. She leans in, pressing her hands against the stone wall behind him for support. Their faces are so close he can feel her breath tickling his cheek, he feels his heart racing and his palms growing sweaty, the result of too many emotions and her presence alone. 

“Zuko, I don’t like Aang…” She says. “I like you.”

He blinks at her, feeling dumbfounded. The words hang in the air, almost as if they’re waiting for Zuko to take them and physically make himself process them, screaming at him to comprehend the gravity of what she means, but Katara, instead, does it for him, giving him no time for things like insecurity or misunderstanding. She closes the distance between them, pressing her lips onto his. 

At first, Zuko feels his body tense—one too many shocking proclamations have occurred, leaving him incapable of processing things at a normal rate. By the time his mind has finally processed her words, I like you, his body finally has caught up to reality, taking him out of the state of limbo he’s since been existing in—those few seconds between before and after her profession—he feels Katara pull away, just after he’d finally become accustomed to the way her lips felt against his. 

He feels his cheeks flush, seeing the way she looks at him, waiting for his response. Her eyes have a look in them, softness almost, something akin to hope, Zuko thinks. They stare at one another, at a loss for words, both too scared to break the silence between them, the only sound their bated breaths and the drumming of their heartbeats. 

Zuko has never been the best at emotions or words, he thinks the best course of action in this scenario is just doing. So this time, it’s Zuko who leans forward, cupping her cheek affectionately before pressing his lips onto hers with a confidence he didn’t know that he had in himself. 

And though Zuko isn’t perfect, and he still has so much to learn, so much growing to still do, maybe he is deserving of good things, and there are people who are capable of seeing the good in him too. He thinks that maybe later they can talk more about their feelings and specifics and whatever other misunderstandings may have occurred, but for now, he enjoys the way she feels underneath his touch, a feeling he wants to tattoo in his memory, a moment like this he will remember forever. 

All the feelings of self doubt and insecurity and the little voices that scream inside him, you aren’t enough, begin to dissipate with every little press of her mouth against his. It feels sweet and it feels new and it feels like the good in life that he’s been searching for. 

When he finally pulls away, he looks at her, admiring how the fire casts a glow on her face, her cheeks rosy, and her lips plush. Her eyes sparkle, and Zuko never realized, or at least he’s never allowed himself to admit just how beautiful she really is. 

He feels a warmth settle inside him, the corners of his lips upturning. And there’s more that he wants to say, but his mind, always an influx of emotions, albeit this time, positive ones, settles on: “I like you too, Katara.”

[l6ndrys]

Uh, hi I have a request for melissa barrera x reader.

Reader isn't big on physical touch, meaning she freezes up and gets uncomfortable when people hug her. So when she comforts Melissa, because of the hate she's been getting, the other cast members are surprised. (She only lets Melissa hug/touch her.)

a/n : thank you for requesting anon!! hope you enjoy <3

this fic contains : cursing

lavender haze

melissa barrera x reader

everyone in the scream vi cast knew you didn't like physical touch. you avoided it at all costs. like when you first came to the set to visit melissa, mason tried to shake your hand, which you politely declined. you knew he was trying to be nice, but you didn't really know who he was.

that was a couple of weeks ago though, and now they understood that you weren't the biggest fan of any touch. however, there was one exception.

you had known about the hate online. you just so happened to find yourself scrolling through it late at night. you'd usually stop after the first few comments, it made you sick to read some of the stuff they said about your girlfriend.

that wasn't the case today. melissa was filming and you were waiting in her trailer, scrolling down the rabbit hole. she had told you not to worry about it, but how could you not? it was hard to read all of the shit people were saying online. you'd never know how she did it.

you could hear jasmin, whose trailer was next to meilssa's, and your girlfriend talking outside. you go over to the door, swinging it open to see her and the cast all talking to one another.

you run up to her, giving her a hug, "i missed you" you said, pulling away. you turned to see everyone, shocked looks on their faces. "i thought you didn't li–" mason started to say, getting cut off by jenna lightly smacking him in the stomach.

this makes you and your girlfriend laugh. "y/n doesn't like it from anyone, except for me." melissa says, wrapping an arm around you with a smile on her face.

not long after the encounter, everyone split their ways to go to their trailers. they planned on meeting up to go eat out somewhere for dinner. you were sitting, scolling through tiktok, "so what was that about earlier?"

you look up to your girlfriend, confused, "what do you mean?" she pulls her jacket, "i know you've been reading through the hate. and before you try and deny it, i just want to say that you shouldn't worry about it. i've learned to not care what people like them say." you nod, knowing she had a point, "it still hurts to see"

she sits down next to you, smiling, "i know it does, but don't worry about me. as long as i have you, i don't need to listen to what they say." you smile, hugging her again, "i love you" you say into her chest. "i love you too. now let's go eat i'm starving" she says, getting up and holding her hand out for you take. you put your hand in hers, putting your phone away. you wouldn't need it tonight.

--

a/n : tbh this is not the best i've written but i got kind of stuck while writing this so i'm sorry if this isn't what you were looking for!!

[th-xeno]

I. have thought about doing it for a while. and the recent drama's multiplied it. so, even if it's unusual for me,

an analysis of Mlynar Nearl (and the Nearls' arc as a whole) and Why He Is My Premium and Beloved Babygirl.

tbh at first I almost hated him when I read Maria's event. he seemed like an arrogant holier-than-thou asshole and I was like, you know what? fuck you for me and my little girl! she just wants to be a knight like her sister! 

but in Near Light, I started to like him. he was just so tired, so hopeless. he said he was dissapointed, but asked his friend to protect his nieces. his said he didn't care, but protected the Infected under assassins' attack. 

and then I thought, he lies. constantly, but mostly to himself. because he's not an arrogant asshole. he's just... so bad at feelings.

so deeply broken.

and now the Obscure Wanderer arrived and Oh My God.

first of all, there're multiple times when he says the exact opposite to what he does, so let's take this knowledge and come back to the start, Maria's event. 

he doesn't say "you're weak and useless to defend our glory" or "your sister is better than you" like I thought at the time. no, he tries to say, he wants her not to risk her life. not to let the system break her light like it broke almost everyone in his family. 

his brother and sister-in-law were great knights that fought for the glory of their country, and now they're gone. the system threw them away like garbage. his niece fought for their family, for the chivalric ideals, and she was hunted and then exiled. 

and finally, Mlynar himself. an idealist that found out, there's no point in fighting the capitalism. there's no hope. and between losing life in endless conspiracies and losing himself working for corporations but helping his family to survive, he chose the latter. 

but Maria didn't need to choose. she could be free of the weight of the noble titles, of the useless principles, and yet she chose to fight - and almost got killed, if not for her sister.

of course Mlynar was pissed. 

moreover, he was pissed because Margaret came back in the first place. she could have live a happy life far away from this rotten place. she didn't need to risk all of it for the country that will never remember her efforts. he was afraid for her. 

and then, Near Light. Nearl the Radiant Knight.

Mlynar saw her actions as a reflection of his own faults. Margaret tried to play the system's rules to change it, but Mlynar knew it was pointless. the system didn't care. the Radiant Knight will be forgotten, just like her parents. 

but when Margaret came back, she was different, and maybe she understood her uncle more then anyone.

she, too, saw defects of the system (how the Infected were treated). she, too, went through the war (with the Reunion).

but she didn't lose hope.

I may overanalyse it, but I guess she knew the power of the symbolic action because of Talulah. Talulah fucked up the Reunion, she lost, she was insane - and yet the Reunion didn't die in Chernobog, because Infected acknowledged that they can change the world. 

and Margaret tried to do the same. it didnot matter if she won or lost. it didnot matter if her false infection was made public.

she was the Light in the Darkness. she stood up for the weak. she was a Knight.

and that awakened something in Mlynar.

he decided to help the Infected so his family can leave in peace. to help the weak. to restore justice. to do the very same that he thinks a knight must do.

and so, he acknowledged the power of Margaret’s actions. that she really can change something. because she changed him.

she awakened hope in him, and he needed time to proceed it. 

and so (in less than 800 words haha) I come to the main topic, Mlynar's event. and oh boy, this i-am-not-a-knight is more knightly that many.

he shits on knighthood not out of hatred for chivalry, but out of belief in it. the modern knights do not care about the weak, so he doesn't want to be a knight nor be called one. because he is not interested in fight, but in help.

and he doesn't want anyone to see it.

stop corrupted corporation of taking important task? what a naive assumption! 

help two infected girls to stop the riots? pfft, what a joke.

fight a corporation so they don't hunt an innocent? MAYBE YOU'LL ALSO SAY HE HELPED CHILDREN IN DANGER??? 

but unlike in his youth, he doesn't challenge the system, doesn't try single-handedly to change the world. small changes that can make a little better.

gentle light, not blinding.

he hates what his country has become, but still - even as an ordinary man - even lying to himself - tries to make it better. that's why he want everyone to leave but himself. because deep down in his cynical, angry, depressed personality still lives an idealistic knight. 

still lives a hopeful man that believes that his brother and his sister-in-law are alive. that his family can be whole again, even if no one else do. 

he just cares for his family so deeply. he wants his nieces to live happily (somewhere else). wants them not to repeat his mistakes (even if it breaks their dreams). wants their parents back. he just can’t properly express himself. 

but the funniest thing? I think they know it. Margaret, because she knows how bad his trauma is. Maria, because she could see how office work and Margaret’s exile changed him. Zofia, because she knew him well enough.

and so, all of them were happy when he went to Rhodes Island. because they did the world better, and maybe will make Mlynar feel better. 

as a conclusion,,, GOD his depression and burnout are so big. TAKE THIS MAN TO THERAPY. HONEYBERRY, SAVE THE DAY. I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH. MY GRUMPY ANGY BABYGIRL.

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life S1 Ep 46 liveblogging

it's the end of the line!! real glad I didn't watch this drama live or I'd be super pissed off. I'd hate to despise a show this good.

Zhuang Mohan gonna make me cry but I can't feel feelings because I'm too pressed about the Saintess

Damn it Sil Lil here too just to also be in peril?!

So Yan Bingyuan still hasn't betrayed the protagonist..... tho he's got 30 min left

Yesssssss Saintess & Fan Xian fighting side by side

I'm suspicious, this is too easy.

So the real party raising the big army is the Ming family and Second Prince? Not too shocking that he's building an army (he obviously wasn't satisfied with 2nd place), though tbh I AM surprised he was aligned with the wicked witch.

Shen Zhong is a dumbass if he really thinks they would have let then sis die anyway. (Even if tho there's a risk she's a spy.) Sad, bro, really never understood your enemies at all. FX never burns his allies & she helped rescue YBY.

I really can picture FX sitting down to chat with Second Prince to talk about those murder attempts and get told, I do like u bro it's just business 😂😭

(wait does that mean my personal friendship w Crown Prince is still on lmaooooo)

OMG 2nd Prince's second?! You know I've consumed too many c-ent when my brain instantly went to an idiom. shuō Cáo Cāo, Cáo Cāo dào | Speak of Cao Cao and he arrives!

omgggg the letter, is this an activation code that's gonna trigger YBY?

LOL I was right, he really IS like bro is it cool? can we let bygones be bygones?

It's too bad, Fan Xian and Second Prince in another life could be good friends but in this one, cannot live under the same sky

And... Now he's really gone too far with the box shit. Fan Xian gonna have to go to war and prove he's his mother's son.

But where is Uncle Wu? They really just write him off the page when his abilities would be inconvenient 😭😭

Oh, there's Yan Bingyuan's betrayal! SUPER GLAD I didn't watch this live.

[itookyoudown]

Do you think Raylan is more like Arlo or Frances? Obviously we don't know much about Frances, but just from your personal ideas/headcannons about her, and what we know about Arlo, who do you think Raylan takes after more?

thank you for this ask justie! i need you to know i've been noodling it over and trying to gather up all my thoughts and feelings because i have A LOT and this is such a complicated idea. i've tried to be as coherent and thoughtful as possible, but this is mostly just me rambling and slowly piecing my thoughts together.

going to preface this by saying that because we know so little about Frances' character (canon can't even decide her death date jfc) most of my interpretation of who Frances was is fanon and heavily based on chatter with @sublightsleeper

anyways. he's more like Arlo than Frances.

yes i hate it too but it's true (to me) 😩

since the bulk of the story is told from Raylan's POV, we know who Arlo is from the get-go and understand he's a piece of shit despite Helen's excuses and attempts to get Raylan and Arlo to reconcile. but during Arlo's inclusion in the show, we do get a few hints here and there of what Arlo's like when his mask is on: he's a charmer.

i think in his younger years Arlo was a real looker and knew how to weaponize it. he can be friendly and even generous or kindly when/if it suits him but he's just a snake in the grass. i'd say Raylan gets his charm from Arlo as much as he gets that anger. he learned at Arlo's knee how to hide his real emotions in order to get what he wants. and how to use both flattery + intimidation to manipulate people into behaving in a way that benefits him best. Raylan, I feel, is truly Arlo's son even if he chose the lawmen side of the line rather than the outlaw side.

and i think Raylan inherently knows this and that fuels Raylan's anger all the more.

is Raylan a mirror image of Arlo? no, never. but at their cores, i think they're tragically similar even though Raylan consciously makes choices that ensure he's NOT acting like Arlo. mostly because Raylan's put himself into a situation where he avoided becoming exactly like Arlo. AKA he left Harlan. because i do genuinely believe that if Raylan had stayed in Harlan he would have ended up a mirror of Arlo. he would have ended up just as bitter and miserable and angry, there would be no leash on that anger and he'd have lashed out to those nearest and dearest to him.

i think he would have become what Arlo became: an abused person who abuses others.

as for Frances…

we know from canon that Frances was a good cook. she kept a garden. she taught Raylan how to shoot. that she openly shamed a bunch of thugs for having bad manners. we also know that she was disrespected and Arlo escalated things into violence, but she put aside pride and called for peace instead. that she made the arrangements to end the family feud.

i think she was very used to cleaning up Arlo's messes, both at home and in business, and got very good at being the designated peacemaker.

but i don't think Frances was charming. or charismatic. i don't even like to think she was attractive. but i do think she understood what soft power was and knew how to use it alongside old-fashioned gentility to influence the people around her. and tbh considering she was a poor woman in the rural south that might have realistically felt like her only weapon and defense in life. we know she knew how to shoot, but we never hear that she fought back against Arlo or tried to defend Raylan. in fact, we know she left Raylan alone with Arlo when the abuse got real bad. she might have left, but she always returned.

from her relationship with Arlo, i think we can infer that Frances was an exceptionally kind and gracious and empathetic woman…and that's what made her vulnerable, that's why she stayed with Arlo and how he even managed to charm her into marrying him in the first place.

i believe she had a soft core and that's why i don't think Raylan is most like her.

because while Raylan can be tender, he's not soft. he can choose kindness but it's not his first instinct. he'll take a peaceful route but he doesn't feel bad about going to war. he's only empathic when he sees himself in another person (you need to only compare how Raylan treats Loretta VS Roz to see how this plays out). and while he's susceptible to pretty women and wants to be their savior, he's not incapable of saying NO and cutting them off. look at how he emotionally shuts out Ava in the later seasons and early seasons we even see it in his interactions with Helen. Raylan is capable of establishing boundaries and even dividing people into a "good" or "bad" box. and i don't think that's something Frances would have ever done. too much heart to do it.

so, yeah, overall i think Raylan takes more after Arlo when you get right down to it. but i do think some of Frances rubbed off on Raylan.

and even more than that…hm this idea is very difficult to put into words. but i feel like Raylan got some of the worst of Arlo but also some of the best of Frances. and somehow it all evened out in the end.

it made Raylan into a man that will live to make the heroic choice rather than dying the hero's death.

[richkidcityfriends]

your opinion on 2022 winter Olympics

okay so im assuming this is only about figure skating and i mean oml there was so much going on. below the cut bc i think this is gonna be long.

okay so FIRST OF ALL the kamila valieva situation. where to begin. (as a note: none of this is a statement on her except in relation to the 2022 olys)

the positive test being from rusnats and only being found out in february is weird. idk if we ever found out exactly why that happened? but i can only assume it was meddling from the russian end.

i think the media response was cruel, and i think part of that was a lot of people were trying to talk about it without knowing the full situation, but the amount of vicious hate and blame kamila received was unjustified. she was fifteen years old and in an abusive situation, to what extent she knew about the doping is irrelevant in my mind, the blame falls on the adults in power (mainly her coaches). eteri tutberidze is notoriously controlling and abusive, and there is no way any of that was happening without her being responsible. she controls the amount of WATER her skaters can drink. skating at that level, especially in russia, your coach is practically your primary guardian; if eteri told her to dope then there was pretty much nothing she could do. only eteri girls were ever going to go to the olympics, if she switched coaches that would have ended her life's goal (and the way they train is so all-consuming that to not get to the olympics at all would have felt life shattering).

should she have been been allowed to skate? i dont think so. at least partially bc it essentially proves to coaches that you can "get away with" doping as long as the people you are drugging are children. obviously having an athlete who has taken performance enhancing drugs is unfair to everyone else, but that goes without saying. HOWEVER i do understand the worry that the test could have been wrong or she might not have known, either way it would have been unfair to her. (the "irreparable harm" quote is always taken out of context - they meant that if she skated and was found guilty they could strip her of the medal, but if she was banned and found innocent there was no fixing it). ultimately though i think letting her skate was the wrong decision (especially since the case STILL hasnt been settled).

i dont think eteri told her to throw the free to make sure the others got their medals, because she looked so traumatised afterwards and eteri reacted so badly (ive never understood this theory tbh)

that was the first scandal from the olys but oml it was definitely not the last. there was so much going on. olympics from hell. lets talk about the womens podium.

(but first a note on ultra c elements: do i think the sport is suffering because of the increased value placed on jumps? yes. do i think artistry is important? absolutely. do i think there is a conversation to be had about the morals of training young children (especially girls) to do dangerous jumps that cause permanent damage to their bodies? one hundred fucking percent. things need to change in this sport. however. i will make repeated references to whether or not someone is jumping ultra c when discussing the podium, because that is how its scored atm, and i do think that they aren’t irrelevant (it is a sport, athletic feats are also important) just please please know that i am also taking artistry into account its just harder to objectively phrase in a short paragraph and this is already long enough). okay caveat over. please no one attack me. lets go.

look i KNOW the most pressing question is do i think anna deserved gold HOWEVER. have you considered. did anna deserve to be sent to the olympics at all. and this makes me insane because like?? skating like she did at the olys?? yeah she probably deserved to be there!! so it kinda seems mean to talk about this but ALSO i feel like we definitely have to not forget it so. the russian olympic team was pretty much based off of the podium for rusnats, which that year was kamila, sasha, anna. but anna in third place was veryyy controversial bc like. she had no ultra c elements at all (and her tech is DODGY so without them it gets even harder to justify her high scores) but elizaveta had a triple axel (and better tech) so a LOT of people thought that she should have come third, but rusfed just wanted to send anna to the olys instead (which i pretty much agree with).

but okay whether you like it or not she DID make the olympic team so. womens olympic podium. a grenade of a question. everyone is allowed their own opinions on it im not saying anyone is wrong if they think differently!!!!! also im only going to talk about the top five bc this is already wayyy too long.

i know on tiktok a while back the popular opinion was that wakaba should’ve been gold, which i don’t really agree with, however she absolutely should not have been fifth. no doubt in my mind she should have been at LEAST fourth, if not third. kamila should have been behind her i don’t care how many quads she was attempting, she fell like five times. she got through on reputation and the eteri bonus alone. kaori did skate cleanly, but with no triple c, and her tech isn’t great on some of her jumps, so wakaba (who fell on a jump, but had a triple axel, and generally better tech and artistry imo) could have come third and i would have been happy. anna i go back and forth on, because her artistry is alright, and technically she does jump quads, but her tech skills are SO questionable (her quad lutz is neither a quad nor a lutz). the tech bar for quads is lower than for triples, and i do kinda think that makes sense, but her quad tech is worse than most of the other quad jumping girls so it’s a fair comparison. i don’t think she deserved gold, but im never fully sure about silver either. honestly her, wakaba, and kaori can fight it out for second/third/fourth. in terms of actual skaters i like wakaba best, in terms of who performed best on the day i think you could make a compelling argument for any order.

that of course leaves sasha in first place. i know she fell on her triple axel in the short, but the only people who didn’t fall at all were anna (i’ll talk about her last) and kaori, and while triple c elements aren’t the only important thing, the skater who fell on one and landed five kind of has to be above the skater who attempted none at all, imo, so that puts kaori out of the running. wakaba fell once as well, and she definitely has the edge on artistry, but i don’t think sashas artistry was as bad as a lot of people say, especially in her short, so i don’t think thats quite enough to put wakaba ahead of sasha overall. sasha’s tech skills were so much higher than the rest of the skaters that i think it would be almost impossible to bridge that gap with artistry alone. lastly theres anna, who ofc actually won the ogm. two clean skates, slightly better artistry, much worse tech (i know sasha’s tech isn’t perfect either, but she’s definitely better – id say thanks to plushenko). annas tech should have been called, if not her edges then at least for prerotation. sasha fell on a triple axel and anna landed a double in the short, sasha landed five quads and anna landed two in the free. taking into account how poor her quad tech is, i don’t think that her artisty is enough to pass sasha.

however!!!! again i want to reiterate!!!!! everyone is allowed their own opinions on this!!! i do not give a damn if you think that anastasiia shabotova should have come first!!!! go you!!! to each their own <3

now for something that i do think you can wrong about. the reaction to sashas reaction to the scores was appalling. she was seventeen years old (a CHILD) in an extremely high stress situation and had been told by her (abusive, manipulative) coaches that if she landed all five quads she would win, and when this turned out to be untrue she got upset and had what was clearly a panic attack, asked not to be filmed and was ignored by every cameraman in the area, had to immediately go in front of millions of people while still being a mess, and was then attacked from all angles for being “ungrateful” and “showing bad sportsmanship.” show some empathy. (especially ppl who are still giving out about it now “on behalf of anna” when they seemed to be at least friendly again as soon as the very next day)

OKAY WE’RE ALMOST DONE i mostly only follow women’s so the rest of this is going to be brief

sui/han deserved ogm, my sister and i were rooting for miura/kihara to do well but we knew there was no chance for a medal. loving seeing them do so well rn.

nathan chen’s costume was ridiculous. last time i said my nathan chen take i got eaten alive on tiktok so im not gonna say much about him. he did deserve gold tho.

scoring felt harsh on yuzuru. wish he’d gotten another ogm but it wasn’t meant to be. im glad he got to attempt the quadruple axel at the olympics at least.

papadakis/cizeron ogm deserved.

oh MY god i forgot about the team event. pls someone save me. im so sorry i know no one wants this much. this isn’t even the worst i can do. i have talked at my friends for hours straight before about figure skating. i cant help it i have no control. we are going to ignore the team event okay. Just give them their medals. pls. i beg. they still don’t have their medals. i know it sucks for the rest of the russian team if they lose the gold bc kamila was stripped but you have to give the rest of them their medals.

anyway if you made it until the end here is a gold star ⭐ i don’t know how you did it.

[marlesbian]

How i perceive Sirius Black

Starting with the basics

- gay he loved men

- genderfluid

- graysexual

- androginy THEY ARE ANDROGINY

- any pronouns (preference for using different pronouns in the same sentence)

- Has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and ADHD

- french/east easian/plain white idk i like these 3 hcs

- 1,78m tall (told everyone was 1,80m)

- Sirius was trained in ballroom dancing, piano, violin and had etiquette lessons as a child. Speaks French, English, German and Russian. She can play almost any instrument tbh.

- Loved to paint, write poetry and draw. (drew mostly on black and grey). Sirius also kept a journal he learned to charm so only his eyes could read it.

- Favorite band was Queen, also loved Bowie, KISS, Led Zeppelin, T. Rex and all of glam rock (later found a passion for punk) and secretly loved Tchaikovsky. Found muggle music through Andromeda. She was like her older sister and his biggest protector, he was destroyed when she was disowned. She kept buying sirius vinyls and sending it to her while she was at school.

- Sirius was a natural born rebel, they defied everything just by existing. "My existence is a scandal" was his motto.

- Sirius loved to read, but at home was only allowed to read russian and french classics like Dostoevsky, Victor Hugo, Tolstoy, Dumas etc.

- Once their uncle Alphard gave him Oscar Wilde books and that became her whole life. She loved 'The ghost of Canterville' and 'The Picture of Dorian Grey'. Sirius never really talked to other ppl about liking books though.

- At home, her life was shit, of course. Her parents were abusive and it started really young, they were manipulative and narcissistic, neglected Sirius's emotions and feelings, and prohibited him from showing their true self. But the abuse was discreet, quiet, it wasn't obvious to him. She knew it wasn't alright but also couldn't recognize it was abuse, to her, their parents just wanted what was best for him, wanted him to be their best self. Her mom still told him she loved them, they still gave star things, they treated them well and like shit at the same time.

- As Sirius was growing up the abuse kept getting worse, they started using curses and hexes and beating him, hurting her in many ways, but she thought he deserved it because that would help them become a better person, she still understood the abuse as care. As he turned 13 he was thought dark arts at home stars parents used his wants and needs as a way to control her, she always had to do something for her family to get basic human treatment. As she got older they started getting more violent, using unforgivables and curses that hurt her physically.

- Walburga was literally one of the worst people to walk on this earth, she was bitter, heartless, prejudiced, violent, ruthless, she was an awful human being and Sirius HATED her. Walburga was obsessed with keeping up appearances, making the family name justice, being better and superior to everyobody else, she had these delusions of grandeur, of maintaining a superiority status. He was scared she could become like her mother one day, that she was as insane as the woman who gave him life but also literally tortured and tried to kill her own children just for the sake of "the family name".

- Her relationship with Regulus was very complicated. When Reg was born Sirius loved him so much, he couldn't even explain. Reg was everything Sirius could never be. He was everything her parents wanted her to be, he was quiet, polite, patient, never spoke out of turn, he did everything his parents wanted him no without question. Sirius could feel in all the ways their parents acted that they loved Reg more, that Reg was what they actually wanted.

- Sirius hated herself for it because she hated his brother for something he could not control but they also loved him more than anything. So their relationship was unstable, some nights they went to each other for comfort, others they wouldnt even share looks. Around 9/8yo Reg told Sirius that he just always knew he had to play a part, to pretend in order to survive in that family, that he had to be literally a perfect child. For most of her life, Sirius did love his brother more than anything. After Reg grew up and started to get more brainwashed by his parents, they drifted apart he resented Sirius, he despised him for being a blood traitor, for being queer, for being wrong. (Abused children deal with abuse in different ways so i would never say regulus was a bad person, he was victim) Sirius had to leave and it was the right thing to do.

- Only started to have longer hair by the end of 4th year

- He was a happy child, a little star, brighting people's days, always laughing and being just loud. Her mother hated it. Orion was just neglectful and complacent with Walburga.

- Sirius was very loud, just a loud person, who talked loud, walked making noise, talked with their whole body

- His presence was always noticed, because she could not shut up. They always knew something was wrong in the way her family worked, every night she cried looking at the stars wishing to be saved, because she knew life could be better, she always felt something was missing, like a void in his chest, like he wasn't complete. That void was filled with James. He felt how real normal people love for the first time with James. He was the brother she wanted Reg to be, James was supportive of his every action and trait, they could hug and show affection.

- James was so much more than just a best friend, he was truly Sirius' brother, their relationship wasn't platonic nor romantic, their loved surpassed these notions we have of love. Their love just was. Nothing could compare to Remus though, he was her soulmate, her other half, they were connected by the red string, they were born to be together. He probably fell in love with Remus the second they met.

- Sirius was sensitive and also strong, she cried himself to sleep sometimes bc he didn't wanna bother anyone. He used humor to hide the fact that she hated himself, he was always cracking jokes and making people laugh, because that made her feel loved.

- Sometimes she lost her sense of self, she dissociated and wondered who she even was, if that person was actually them, if he wasnt pretending just to cause a scene, those days she became distant, nobody recognized him. He was agressive and impulsive and somehow was always hurting the people she cared most.

- Some days she felt like a complete failiure and waste of space, other days she felt he was better than every other living human, some days she loved who she was, others he wanted to die and be born as someone else. He didn't know how he felt about himself, nothing in her was constant, except the change. She didn't know how she felt, it was empty and simultaniously overwhelming because she felt everything and nothing at the same time. She was insecure and over confident, rude and also sweet and polite.

-His boggart was being left by everyone he loved.

- There was a time in his life where she treated everyone like shit on purpose because she was convinced that everyone would leave him and some point so it would be "her choice". That didnt last and it was awful, he felt awful, she cried every day, she began to self harm and hate himself.

- She hated being impulsive and always hurting people. She hated that sometimes his mind kinda shut off and he lost control of what he was doing and saying, hated that she couldn't remember it after, he hated that on these times she always did the worst things imaginable.

- Sirius dressed fem and masc, depends on the day and what he was feeling, they wore lots of leather jackets, croptops, low waisted jeans, oversize jackets, coats and sweaters. loved something showing chest, very flamboyant and sparkly. Their color palette was black, red, grey, purple and dark brown.

- Sirius loved tattoos and piercings. She got her first tattoo on sixth year, along with Remus. She had many ear piercings, nipple piercing and a stud nose (with a ruby on it)

- The relationship with his sexuality was complicated, he always knew she didn't like women the way boys were supposed to. In Hogwarts, he did everything to show everyone that he, in fact, did like girls. Until fifth year, she just couldn't take it anymore. she did hook up with some random girls just for show (nothing sexual, he couldn't physically put themselves through that). But then he met Benjy and that's when it all changed, Benjy helped him discover who she was, what they liked, what felt good and comfortable and what didn’t, helped them with the whole gender thing (Sirius did not give a fuck, sometimes he felt like a boy, sometimes not and that was it, couldn't care less about how ppl referred to or perceived her). So basically the only people he ever had anything with were Remus and Benjy. 

-Sirius found it easy to hate and dislike things and people and she hated herself most of all for it. Because good people can't hate, good people only love, good people don't get angry and destructive. Therefore, in her mind, he was a terrible person.

- Sirius felt like a mistake sometimes, like a waste of space, like he was useless and could have done more to save his brother, to save her cousin, to be loved by their family. For a long time, that was all she wanted, that's what he would see in the mirror of Erised, him being her true self in front of her family, dressed however he pleased, and their family behind smiling, supporting and loving her. 

- His boggart was himself, with the dark mark on her arm. The slytherin green tie, pale skin, hair all short and well cut. His biggest fear was being evil, ending up being the horrible person the voice inside their head kept saying he was.

- His biggest dream for years was being loved by his family, but becoming what they wanted was her biggest fear. She had always been torn.

- James was the one that made them realize that her family was fucked up, that they were wrong, that Sirius was enough and that he did not need to change in order to be treated like a person, that her family wasn't worth it and that she had to let go. It wasn’t easy, it took James five long years, but on December 1975 Sirius came all bloody to the Potters, left her family behind, and began to heal. 

- Sirius was unstable, as established here, he hated herself for it. Sometimes she felt like she only did the wrong thing, like she was rotten and couldn’t be fixed, like she would die being a mistake like he could never be loved and never truly love.

- Sirius just has a very androgynous feminine aura, loved to explore gender expression, and never really cared what people said.

- Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are connected by the red string, they are head over heels in love with each other, they ARE love. Their relationship isn’t toxic, its beautiful and pure and genuine and sweet, it may have had its ups and downs but they never treated each other poorly. Even when they were mad or fighting, if one needed help or comfort, the other put everything aside to come to their aid. They were always touching and holding hands and exchanding looks, their love was so strong you could feel it in the air, everyone around them could see it, it was undeniable.

[julietasgf]

Olá olá, I am back back again (I survived a week-long exam and 4 hours of sleep)

I know in theory LGB has an Appalachian accent in the movie I remember seeing some complaints from the audience <3 (isn't it fascinating and horrible when the audience confirms why a certain trait in a character is vital and revolutionary?)

It's really a shame that Sejanus and LGB barely interact in the book because I know they would have understood each other very well (and YES they really are alike, again the big difference between them is that Sejanus most of the time wouldn't stand for doing an act while LGB has survived from doing one but unlike Snowflake, she still strives for her humanity and doing good like Sejanus. UGH MAKE THEM BESTIES).

While I hate to say it because the movie turned the games into an entertaining spectacle I agree that it had several of the best changes from the book. Reaper scene was simply powerful and yes Wovey snakes scene was absolutely heartbreaking. Even Coral with the role she was given felt more like a whole person than in the text and from what I hear there are many deleted scenes of her and how she goes about developing her strategy that I really hoped one day they might see the light of day.

I also have so much to say about the arena scene. There are so many minor changes that make me freak out in a bad way. First of all that Ma Plinth's presence in the Snow's apartment is removed. As you say I think they could have kept that moment to give more punch to Sejanus' last words and it really didn't take up much time.

Then the implications of Sejanus bribing a guard, when in the book it's all to his credit and even a way to one-up Gaul herself that HE WILL GET IN THERE. And finally that: Sejanus wasn't really going to protest, he didn't expect anyone to come to his rescue, because he NEVER PLANTED TO GET OUT ALIVE (another change that made me groan in the movie but well I got plenty of forehead touch at least but I agree with everything you say about Sejanus.

Because yes even if I want to rip the heads off of everyone who does bad takes of Sejanus in tiktok, I certainly can't blame them, in the movie he is that naive and spoiled which is sad.

Talking more about the changes to me Coriolanus from the book and the movie are two different people in my head, there are so many changes between the two and their arcs are so different that it's hard to reconcile them (for me) in the same person tbh (I only get to do that from the idea: movie is Snow propaganda: its how people SEE him, etc).

I think Coriolanus story along with the decision to make Sejanus not know about the weapons are the clearest evidence of one of the biggest flaws I think the movie has (and at the same time I think it's impossible that we could get a big budget adaptation without this flaw) and that is how much it fears being political (Not that it doesn't prompt reflection on certain serious issues and of course they are not afraid to talk about Panem's policies but from there to other policies...)

Coriolanus as a prejudiced and oppressive teenager who has the opportunity to see up close different perspectives than those he has known from subjects he contributes to oppressing and even experiences firsthand the injustices of the system decides in the end not to change his mind and become not only complicit but an active agent in the flawed and inhumane system is not an alien story. It is the daily life of many people. In fact I'm sure Coriolanus vocalizing some of his more deranged thoughts in the movie wouldn't have scared people as much as many believe and would still be as popular just because Tom played him.

While Sejanus on the other hand is clearly one of the voices of reason in the book, he is one of the few who denounces injustices and tries to do something. If Sejanus knew about the weapons and even bought them, it would be a way of legitimizing violent resistance as an appropriate measure and valid to change the system and well it is USA. That doesn't suit them so Sejanus had to be downgraded to what a "decent rebel" would be: a no violent and smart one BUT WHO KNOWS. I DONT

Finishing this movie issue I agree that it was criminal that they took Lysistrata away from us but I think you put it best in words the matter with the academy students in the movie. They clearly tried to make most of the mentors mean and cruel to their tributes so that Coriolanus stands out as the "good" and humane one.

I have to agree that it should be a requirement to read the book and look I usually believe in book adaptations can be their own world apart but I ask on my knees to the only movie fans who want to have an opinion about Sejanus - LGB or write about them to READ THE BOOK.

Now let's talk about fics. I'm curious do you have some favorite fics in the fandom? I have a few that I think are excellent (😝 I had my fav fics, you've written several of them haha but there are also others like this fic where Coriolanus has a dream with LGB and Sejanus after killing them and with ultra symbolic details. Or the fic where Coriolanus was poisoned with the same poison that causes you halucinations in THG and sees Sejanus, etc) but I want to know what you read buddy. Btw I hope you have read the second one shot of that baby Sejanus series in the war during D2 because for me it is canon now that the Plinth suffered an attack in post war times in D2. I am very normal...

Also I'm sorting out still my thoughts on carcara but you destroyed me emotionally 🥰🥰 hope that sums it up well. Me crying for Strabo? That's another level. Speaking of the Plinth, Ma Plinth's ideas contributing in the games ate direct to the Quarter Quell fic idea that is in building. I had vagues ideas and some phrases that I want to use without any context:

"Of all my creations, none has reached perfection like Coriolanus Snow." Volumnia Gaul.

"Snow men die in District 12." Tigris Snow.

I will stop the rambling, lets focus better on our beautiful latam au where no one dies pls.

I'm happy that you liked my sejarcus ideas (maybe I'll write them hehe), I didn't stop thinking about them either, I need them to do a dance at school and baby Sejanus knows how to dance because his mother is Vesta but he's embarrassed to do it in front of the others and Marcus is there encouraging him that he can do it. And yesiii I ADORE the idea of sejarcus on playdates, pls not Sejanus giving away his stuffed animals just because Marcus said he would like to have one. Marcus refusing to take the bunny named plum.

"Sejanus it's your stuff." "But mr. plum wants to go with you." 🙏🙏

About the Christmas dinners YES I AGREE 😭😭😭😭 in fact I think it might be worse with Strabo sober jajsks at least when he is drunk he talks funny and I think if you get Sejanus out of the room he will end up complaining to a piece of furniture about how ungrateful his son is but Strabo sober and Sejanus will end up in an endless 10 hour debate. Everyone else had escaped to the courtyard to try to quiet their voices with the music AND YET YOU CAN HEAR THEM.

Pls. Coriolanus making a fool of himself <3 my beloved. First by trying to convince his father-in-law to make him his heir and then by stepping on his mother-in-law's foot. I propose it's on the birthday of one of Sejanus' cousins and he thought it was a good time to introduce his boyfriend (too Argentinian to exist) and when Vesta takes Coryo to the dance floor, his whole family tries so hard not to laugh at him but they lost it in the end 🤭 but ultimately that will lead to some fun and adorable private lessons with lot of kisses

Coriolanus and Strabo being closet telenovelas fans is such a fun concept. And yes my god Sejanus would have an existential crisis the moment they start talking. PLS I CAN SEE SOMETHING LIKE THEM EVEN TALKING AT THE SAME TIME HAPPENING 😭😭

C: But I think

S: But I think

C: Oh excuse me Mr. Plinth

S: No, no young Snow. Speak

*Sejanus shouting in the background*

By the way. Marcus would also be Boricua? Because that would be cool but there's also something in my head screaming cubano idk. Also I know I said it was our funny au but I have a couple of crazy ideas in my head about snowjanus because if everyone is from Latin America and we assume this happens in today's normal USA and Coriolanus thinks he is more European than the rest. I thought about maybe he lied to everyone about having Italian heritage (that's why my name is from Ancient Roma) and embodying the experience of feeling ashamed of your origins and meeting Sejanus which is the opposite and kind of like giving him character development?

👁️👄👁️

Damn it, maybe I really need my 8 hours of sleep

Music recommendation?

Well it's more like a poem:

Cabras -Little Jesus

The type of things in my mind are TBOSAS coded in some way also the type of things I believe Sejanus could read.

I hope you are well when you read this Juli. And let me say I love your designs, we need to start a campaign to get people to show their book designs more often, I love seeing how the characters look in everyone's heads.

Ah I'll get back to you in a bit about your beautiful ocs.

OLAAA!!! I'm so happy to see you again 🥹 exams SUCK, take care buddie, hope you rest well and sleep after them <3

no way ppl complained abt lgb's accent on the movie...... I swear to god that there are few audiences that are so determinated to prove the point of the original work like the thg/tbosas audience, it's quite insane. how do you go out from a movie that criticizes xenophobia and prejudice and then proceeds to... complain abt lucy gray's accent?? media literacy is really dead 😭

yessssss I really wishe they could've had more time together, because they have so much in common :(( lucy gray at least have the covey, but I really wished sejanus could hang out with someone who could actually understand him in the sense of what it means not being able to fit in, and lucy gray is just- they would be perfect friends if coriolanus wasn't around. AND YES!!! I always joke that coriolanus made it too obvious that he had type bc sejanus and lucy gray are too alike, but non-ironically, I think it's interesting how alike they are in storytelling terms (specially bc their final decision is the opposite; sejanus runs to coriolanus and it kills him, and lucy gray runs away from him... and it still "kills" her). I've seen a post around here that made a lot of sense, where the person said that sejanus is lucy gray if she had more privilege and a chance of keeping her innocence, while lucy gray is sejanus if he was forced to mature earlier and learn how to survive. ughhhh they should've been besties and slander coriolanus together

yesssss, plus, ironically, I feel like the movie made the tributes even more human than the book (tbosas has a big difference regarding thg, which is: we actually know the names of EVERY. SINGLE. TRIBUTE). everything regarding the tributes in the movie, I thought it was fantastic (ofc I missed some of them, like the D3 guys, but I understand they chose to focus on just some tributes). also, I don't remember in the book the plot regarding treech leaving lamina behind to get with coral's group, and I thought that was another interesting details on giving more personality and backstory to the tributes. reaper and dill, too, loved how they made him protect her and care for her, it was really precious. and, oh my god, I forgot talking abt that on the other post, but CORAL IN GENERAL!!! I really loved coral in the movie, and her last line and the way it was delivered was HEARTBREAKING. yesssss really wish one day we can see the deleted scenes, because FOR SURE there are plenty (I mean.... I would beg on my knees for the 4 hrs cut....)

the thing with tbosas is that there are plenty of small details, small things, that make a big difference on how you view characters and how you view the story. and the thing about the movie is: they got rid of these small details. and THAT'S the biggest problem with the arena scene: these small details really impacted some aspects of the storytelling. and you put them very well, I couldn't agree more 😭 I HAD EVEN FORGOT ABT THE THING WITH THE GUARD. but yeaaaaaaah people who saw the movie don't really get that he was straight up trying to kill himself... think abt rose on titanic when she was about to jump from that ship. it was pure despair, and she didn't ask for the guy to try to come and save her and risk his life in the proccess. anyway, these small changes regarding sejanus are so weird man, because are small things that actually impact on the storytelling and how the audience view him. getting rid of his relationship with ma, getting rid of the fact that he's suicidal, implying he bribed a guard. idk, it just feels really weird to me, specially bc sejanus is a foil to coriolanus.

(I try to not think a lot abt the arena scene bc I REALLY like the forehead touch, love how in the movie that's a thing coriolanus does to the people he shows to love: sejanus, tigris, lucy gray, and only these three).

yes, I absolutely agree with you regarding coriolanus!! I've said before that coriolanus in the movie is almost sweet to me. he was brave when he entered that car with the tributes, he risked his life entering that arena after the explosions for lucy gray, he laughed at sejanus' comebacks at arachne and festus. he has his fucked up moments, but mostly, it really seemed like a corrupt society corrupting a decent, but ambitious and a tad little mean young boy. they really dracomalfoy-ed him 😭 (and yessss that's how I usually explain the movie to ppl who didn't read the book, that coriolanus seems sweet because you don't know what the hell he's thinking and how nasty his thoughts are).

AND YES!!! YES, YES, YES!!! YOU ARE SO ON POINT!!! the adaptation of a highly political book FEARS BEING POLITICAL.

okay, so, I talked about this before, but context is extremely important to understand some works, and that's the case of tbosas: it's a book that was published in 2020, a highly political and tense time for the usa. but the most worrying about these times was that young people, young boys were falling under dangerous and extreme political propaganda from the far right. privileged straight white boys from working class falling under this kind of agenda and propaganda, even though they for sure had the ways to search up and understand that this was wrong, that this was oppression and they are just tools for a system much bigger than them. maybe they were raised like this, raised to believe in those indocrinated views and ways that they should have more right than everyone else, that they are better than everyone else... but what if they had the chance to change? to know people who are different from them and are the target of this oppressive system? would they change? can they change?

it sounds familiar, doesn't it?

coriolanus is bigoted because he was raised by adults who are bigoted in an environment full of bigotry (okay that boys who are raised by their grandmas are already red flags, but his grandma in particular, my GOD, no surprise she raised a fascist). but he has contact with people who are oppressed. he knows sejanus in first hand, who even though lives in the capitol, is relentlessly harassed and bullied for being different, for being district. then he meets lucy gray, and he has the opportunity to talk directly to someone who had their whole family killed by this cruel system and who faces the cruelty against the districts in first hand, living in the districts. and even coriolanus himself isn't safe from the capitol's oppression: he knows hunger, he knows poverty.

and what he does with all of this? he gets sejanus killed, tries to kill lucy gray and becomes a dictator to make panem even more oppressive. and even when he's in love with lucy gray, is so bizarre how he REFUSES to see district people as people, because in his head, in order for him to be in love with lucy gray, then it's because she isn't district: it's because she doesn't belong in the districts. he does a whole mental gymnastic regarding this, on how different she is, on how that justifies him being attracted to her.

he chooses to be that way.

yes, the society he lives in plays a big part on how he's molded, but in the end... these are his choices. and that's pretty much what suzanne collins (imo) wanted to pass with this book. it's almost a cautionary tale.

(also you're so right lmao people would still love coriolanus just bc it's tom playing him 😭 and it's quite insane bc it proves the point of the book, that coriolanus is able to get away with a lot of things exactly because he's attractive)

and yessss!!! sejanus is the moral compass of the book, whenever a discussion is getting too morally grey, he appears and makes the reader come back to reality and understand that it doesn't matter this is dystopia, because THIS. ISN'T. RIGHT. there's a whole ass line that says that sejanus is moved by the urge of doing the right thing, always. so if that boy was willing to get his hand on guns, it's because it was the right thing to do. so yeah, I'm disappointed but not really surprised they changed this detail, specially when you consider everything that's going on... it just makes me really sad because in the current context, sejanus is such an important character, and he really had everything to be a fan favourite. but they changed his storyline to make it seem that having these kind of ideals are too absurd or too naive :(

anyways, love a guy who knows that violent resistance is valid resistance (rip sejanus, you would've loved diarios de motocicleta by che, I just know it) <3

I'm still mourning over lysistrata, I was living for her and jessup's dynamic, they were so cute and precious.... like lucy gray and coriolanus, but without the toxicity that makes lucy gray and coriolanus who they are lmao. I also believe that movies have the right to be interpretated in a sole way!!! but for this I open an exception bc lgb and sejanus are characters that are so special to me, I can't STAND when I see someone slandering them but they're clearly talking about the movie, like, YOU DON'T KNOW THEM LIKE I DO!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE OR READ THE BOOK 😭

I'm actually so honored that some of your fav fics are some of mine omg I'm going to cry 🥹 ALSO SEND ME THE LINK OF THESE PLS, I'M BEGGING. and YES, I'VE READ THE SECOND ONE-SHOT, really, the plinths during the rebellion are now living rent free on my head... and it was so well written- loved it, loved it, loved it, I live for hcs and character studies abt the plinths. but okay, let's go to some of my fav fics from this fandom (most of the stuff I read are character studies tbh, but also, it's worth saying I think I've read every single sejarcus fanfic on the tag, so- I have a few of them too bc I'm that sad 😭):

the golden heart & the golden voice. this is a series actually, it has only two works, but it's focused on sejanus and lucy gray interacting. it's so good!!! very bittersweet, but I live for these bairdplinth crumbs <3

and they called it puppy love. a very old fanfic, from the time tbosas was first published, and it's a character study regarding sejanus' dynamics with marcus and coriolanus. it's very bittersweet and heartbreaking, but so good.

ma. another old one that's SO GOOD, this is a character study from sejanus' pov during his execution and some of his thoughts regarding coriolanus and his ma. it's as heartbreaking as it sounds.

parallel lines. I won't say much about this one, just that it damaged me emotionally and changed the chemistry of my brain. it's really worth reading tho because it's one of the best things I've read.

(also, I love reading modern aus with different plots and stuff, but I've found so few :( but it's okay because the canon compliant fics are amazing, just mentioning it)

I was going to say I was so happy you enjoyed it, but then I remembered the "destroyed emotionally" part, but I'm glad you enjoyed it despite the colateral damage!!! 😭 (gonna be honest, I felt sad writing this fic, it's just that I feel so bad over complicated father-son relationships). YESSSSSS I'M ACTUALLY SO EXCITED TO READ THAT FIC FROM YOU, if you ever post it, tag me, knock on my door, wake me up in the middle of the night because I need to read it!!! (that line from gaul goes so insanely HARD, like my god-)

always say this, but again: LATAM AU MY BELOVED <33 (there's something so comforting in knowing these characters wouldn't say spongebob but bob esponja /jk

please, if you write it, tell me so I can read it, bc I would live for it and go feral over that concept 🙏 AAAAAAAA THIS IS JUST SO ADORABLE OMG 😭 now, hear me out: sejanus is terrified to dance, and to encourage him, marcus gives him a little kiss on the cheek. does it help? actually no because sejanus is so shocked and embarassed that now he can't move in front of the school, but it was worth the try! AND AGAIN, ANOTHER ADORABLE THOUGHT, sejanus is that kind of child who basically have every toy he wishes, so when marcus tells him the plushies are sejanus', he's like "but my pa can give me another!!! :)" and that's how marcus ends up with a lot of expensive plushies who were actually sejanus' (he promised to take care of every single one, so he has these plushies until nowadays <3 sejanus finds it adorable when he goes to marcus' room and finds ALL of his old plushies still there)

drunk strabo is probably so funny oh my god, he'll start complaining to a random painting about how sejanus grew up and is an ungrateful brat that doesn't value his opportunities, then you give him 30 minutes and he'll be on the verge of tears because he misses when sejanus was a baby so much. but you're actually so right 😭 you can probably hear sejanus and strabo screaming at each other from, like, a house away (vesta is so tired, someone save her please

coriolanus is that kind of guy that goes to meet his in-laws and he's not even nervous because he thinks so high of himself, OF COURSE he'll do good, of course mr. plinth will adore him (they have so much in common!!!) and mrs. plinth will love him. but then he meets his in-laws and mr. plinth kinda hates him and mrs. plinth thinks he's a little silly. it's even funnier if you think it's a birthday from a baby cousin from sejanus, so the house is full of children and they're all seeing coriolanus failing miserably <3 but next time he has the opportunity to dance with ma plinth and he's READY this time (sejanus is so proud

I'M SCREAMINGGGGGGG it's even funnier if you imagine that strabo isn't that fond of coriolanus at first 😭 he thinks sejanus deserves better and that boy isn't suited for him, so strabo is there complaining abt coriolanus and sejanus is there hearing like "hm. oh, yeah. sure. I wonder if I know someone who's just like that."

(yeah, it's the generational bad taste speaking louder)

BUDDIE. BUDDIEEEEEE, let me tell one fun fact. when I was writing the carrie au, and I included marcus, I made him boricua too, but I was like "he gives me cuban vibes.... idk why, but he gives....." (atp I already knew he was going to be latino too tho); I ended up going with making marcus boricua bc I wanted to give sejanus someone to bond with the same background as him (bc of the story and etc, etc) but marcus just gives cuban vibes, idk why, you're so right!!! and also, TELL ME MORE ABT THESE IDEAS BC I LOVE THEM!!! I love this so much!!!! and coriolanus' dynamic with sejanus is even more interesting, because while coriolanus gives in 100% to assimilation, sejanus resists it with everything he can. have you watched in the heights, the musical? because I can totally see the latam au working in that setting!!! coriolanus lived in the usa for a while now in a small town and always lied abt his origins, but he moves to new york for college and now he's living in a neighbourhood FULL of latin-americans and he can't run from it anymore, no matter how hard he tries (and plus, he meets lucy gray and sejanus, who are SO different from him regarding how they face assimilation; sejanus specifically is so politically engaged, he WILL force coriolanus to become a better person)

I've listened to it and LOVED IT, tbosas has a very twisted fairytale-like sense to me, and it just fits so much!!!

(also, I won't explain why and I'm not sure if it makes sense, but it just gives my snowbairdplinth- specifically, coriolanus' pov about these two poor souls)

I'm doing well, besides being a bit anxious bc my classes are going to start and it's my first year in college and stuff, just my anxiety getting the best of me 😭 hope you're doing well too, and hope you rest and take care after these exams, and sleep well too!! 🫶

TYSMMMM 🥹 and absolutely agree!!! one thing I adore from suzanne collins' writing is that she leaves the description of some characters' appearences to be quite vague, so you're free to imagine them how you desire (and this caught my attention, specifically, because when the first images of tbosas dropped, I remember someone commenting that they were surprised with sejanus' casting bc they imagined him to be black, and yeah, you can totally imagine him the way you want bc there's not a very specific description of him, and the same goes for A LOT of characters, even lucy gray isn't that specific regarding her appearence). I love the cast of the movie, but at the same time, it would be lovely to see how each person imagine these characters bc I know we would see so many different interpretations and thoughts <3

(also, I'll answer your ask abt my ocs tomorrow, now I really have to go to bed, but tysm for sending this ask, I love talking to you sm)