#tbh i don't even know what i'm doing or why i'm doing it
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jesus. yeah thank god for preaching the truth about arcane season two. i mean it had its moments - really, REALLY good moments, and by hell it looked AMAZING - but holy FUCK. what a terrible time to be a fan of ekko. or mel. or jinx. or vi. or viktor. or ambessa. or sevika. and probably more i'm missing (ISHA!!!).
i completely agree with everything about the zaun vs. piltover situation ... just not happening this season? first with shimmer - listen i am not the biggest fan of the chembarons lol they look nice but their characters are. Fine. but if you're going to hype them up in the second episode make them WORTH something, right? and then if you're going to hype up the new jinxers, make THAT worth something too!! would it have been so hard to have a bunch of zaunites fly into piltover following jinx? i mean, that's what everyone THOUGHT that scene would be? you had sevika LEAVE the council meeting. why don't you have jinx convincing her to help. and ekko's with jinx. why wasn't he reunited with the firelights? you're telling the fucking firelights would leave zaun? no but it's just them i guess. and sevika and other zaunites enter the fray at essentially the same time so you would have to change nothing but whaaaatever who gives a fuck.
SPEAKING. OF. EKKO. WHAT THE HELL? his FINAL scene in this show is him mourning jinx and being completely alone. we can have that scene, OBVIOUSLY (given that jinx dies - or fake-dies - which i have my own problems with) but... can bro get a seat on the council? please? can we have like a scene with him and sevika walking in and he nods at sevika or something. i know people were complaining about it being mostly pilties and just sevika at the council meeting but i LOVE that. genuinely. shows us that progress is going to be slow (wow crazy. arcane having realistic class issues in their show about class issues), but can it not be just sevika? and can ekko get some fucking credit for SAVING PILTOVER? sure sure sure it was jayce and viktor but WHO THREW. THE GODDAMN ZDRIVE. AT VIKTOR'S HEAD? EKKO. jesus sorry i'm just crazy upset about that.
i wish they also didn't just have the council in piltover? if we're being given an independent zaun (ARE WE BEING GIVEN AN INDEPENDENT ZAUN??????????????) can we maybe have meetings in zaun too? one of those cute little transitions behind sevika's head where they're meeting in piltover's council room and then we go to the meeting room in zaun? like fucking what? or maybe zaun isn't fucking independent what were we watching this show for. if you're going to keep zaun as part of piltover and leave that part open can you maybe elaborate more than sevika like... sitting down. im a bitch for subtext but at some point it's not subtext it's being lazy??
and meljay. not sure what else to say here tbh like i don't even love them and i thought they were handled so poorly. at least they had chemistry in season one? the fuck was their reunion in act 3? negative chemistry. jayce is imagining viktor. why does he have more chemistry with viktor. big jayvik fan btw im a big fucking jayvik fan but can it NOT come at the expense of an established ship? porque no los dos? like hello? does meljayvik mean nothing to the writers? if you're going to have shippers putting the JayVik Agenda (which admittedly i think is very real of them) into the show can you COMPROMISE ABOUT IT. like considering mel's lonely ass ending and ekko's lonely ass ending there might be a goddamn pattern here.
wow. speaking of lonely ass endings. JINX. MY GIRL???????? breaking down her "death": we have jinx, safe, on a ledge. and we have vi and warwick about to fucking die. vi is faced with two options: try and save warwick (bring back vander) or go to jinx. vi isn't AWARE that trying to save warwick is going to come at the expense at jinx, but WE do, and the WRITERS do. the option of saving warwick or going to jinx is the SAME FUCKING OPTION as the jinx vs. powder question at the end of season one. does vi try and bring back a dead man (one who is GONE, who represents jinx and vi's past coming back to haunt them) or does vi try and accept her trauma and forge a new future with jinx?
...she chooses vander. like ok. yes. that makes sense given the amount of time vi has had to process that vander is alive. and a wolf. and then dead. and then back. and still a wolf. and then fighting them. and then not fighting them. im not expecting her in that situation to take jinx's hand and move on. but if that's the case can the arcane writers then.. give her time to process? because this isn't GOOD. this isn't good for vi. this isn't good for jinx. also do you know what also isn't good for vi OH MY GOD CAITLIN. CAITLIN ISN'T WHY DID THEY HAVE SEX AFTER JINX WAS LIKE "SORRY SIS GOING TO KILL MYSELF" LIKE HELLO VI YOU HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN YOU LEFT EKKO ON THE BRIDGE WHAT. HELLO. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.
"im the dirt under your nails" no vi caitlin is the blood under yours.
sorry ok this isn't all my problems with arcane season two but i just realized i've been ranting in your inbox for what's probably over 100 words so maybe i should stop now. sorry bro i may or may not make my own post now mb
NO PROB it's big feelings and opinions time here on eerna dot tumblr~ It's just a terrible time to be a fan of the show methinks. I don't think a single character emerged on the other side of this season by having been done right.
I hated the way the Zaunites refusing to help Piltover was treated like some kind of a dramatic "Well, I guess THEY aren't joining US" scene. Usually we get to see both sides so you don't feel like either side is the main character, but that was such a horrible "You, the viewer, are a Piltie now, and the way Zaunites act will from now on be used as plot twists only" POV. Sevika showed up that way, Jinx and Ekko showed up that way - not as main characters, but as supports to Vi and Cait and Mel and Jayce, the Good Pilties.
"im the dirt under your nails" no vi caitlin is the blood under yours. is such a badass quote, bro!!! I have nothing to add, you've said it all, thanks for sharing~
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I want you to know you’ve indoctrinated both my friend and I into your path of thinking when it comes to Illario and the Envy demon.
I raise you this, since Illario isn’t even a mage before the Ossuary, consider the fact that Zara convinces Illario into also harboring Envy (like Spite, since Lucanis says he just ate something and he was stuck with Spite after that. Like she tells Illario he needs that dawg in him to become first talon, a double edged knife there (you aren’t good enough on your own you need that dawg in you aahhhh)). That would add a level onto why he kills her, Lucanis taking a crack at Illario and asking if he’s is good enough (I would’ve crashed out too tbh), and the lines in at the party with a romanced Rook (since that man also doesn’t have a healthy love life)
Envy is also twisted form of admiration/generosity/contentment, like how Spite was a spirit of determination, and the freak out Lucanis would have over his little brother’s admiration for him (an admiration he would NEVER admit to his big brothers face) becoming so twisted (by the same person!) that it’s also destroying him from the inside out.
Also Spite and Envy shenanigans would’ve been so fucking funny
YEAH!!!!!! i have been rotating this around in my mind and had the idea of that admiration v. envy thing for illario, especially if we're thinking about wigmaker's job where they cover for each others weaknesses. like a week ago i googled what the corresponding virtue for envy was and it was kindness and i was like yeahhhhh illario does not have that. we're going to have to go with something else. and i was thinking of admiration so this ask kind of made me cheer <3 thank god i am making some sense and someone else agrees because at any point i'm checking myself going 'actually would he do that'
i think they both have some level of 'i wish i could do that like them' but illario's is negatively tinged because their fuck ass grandma is right there saying all that too . like regardless of how great i think my brother is, there is no fucking way his accomplishments don't start looking twisted and unfair if my only parental figure obviously likes him more than me
i also like the idea of in some world where illario is less of a traitor and didn't set lucanis up (i have a rewrite powerpoint going on for my friends. so this part makes perfect sense to me but maybe not as much to you. i'm so sorry), and they both get kidnapped and possessed, spite-envy are the ones with serious beef vs. their unwitting hosts, who would actually prefer not to kill each other.
this messy au i have assumes a very fraught house dellamorte, trying to defend treviso while the crows splinter and follow either son. caterina refuses to let lucanis give up power and names him first talon, while illario has consolidated power in the year lucanis was gone and has several other loyal houses pledging to him instead. spite and envy exacerbate this situation, spite refusing to give up power + envy coveting it. this hypothetical plotline ends with uniting the crows under a single first talon (welcome back bhelen v harrowmont), and reaching an agreement with the others to work together. crow-on-crow violence you cannot be solved but you CAN reach a momentary tense agreement to protect antiva and the world <3
#in my mind this au quest also involves like. it gets easier if ur a rook de riva OR you're seen as an interloping outsider#but by the end of it there's a grudging respect that allows the talons to follow + fight alongside you#helped of course by lucanis who is either talon or simply backing illario#i think this would lead to character bloat. but none of that matters when its MY wishful thinking crow politics questline#that was only rly meant to be seen by fie/jane/saids. so.#they would have 'yes and'ed me forever and allowed the echochamber to continue. LOL#i'm adding and editing the idea as i go. if i ever get somewhere coherent i'll try to explain#but this fucking powerpoint has slide titles like 'We have to let caterina dehumanise her grandchildren. For feminism.'#so really dont expect too much#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#answered#long post
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#mine#writers of tumblr#poetry#spilled ink#writing#okay to rb#poem#spilled words#tw: trauma#tw: suicide#i've been gone for a while#from everywhere because i just constantly feel like i don't belong anywhere#also because everything i wrote was just so subpar and flat#then my dad moved back to where i live and well...#it all just built up inside me and i couldn't take it#tbh i don't even know what i'm doing or why i'm doing it#i'm still here and maybe that's not nothing when i've tried so hard to die but i just don't feel like i'm all here anymore#sorry if this is still awful writing#i hope you've been well and that this new year is infinitely better than the last#i'm glad you're here#i hope you stick around a little longer
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I'm in fucking tears
Babe this is absolutely gorgeous, I am gonna cry about it for a while tbh, I have no words!!!
He had no idea he would be able to see himself in a song written by commoners and yet, he sometimes wondered himself why the Valar had created him. And he often wished they had not. It would save him pain and suffering that he was not able to speak of.
Oh yikes I'm in pain already
Because Halbrand most likely had broken such promises many times before and Sauron had planned that, too. But now, looking deep into her eyes, he suddenly wanted to change his mind. He did not want to be like Halbrand – he wanted to be a better version of him.
NOT THIS DARK LORD TAKING HALBRAND'S WIFE AND TREATING HER BETTER THAN HE EVER DID, WANTING TO BE BETTER FOR HER
I WANT TO DIE
“I don't deserve you,” he admitted and caressed her cheek gently.
The high pitched dolphin noises that came out of me, oh my lord, the softness??? The tenderness???
Humiliating it was and very humbling for the disciple of Aulë to be reduced to the role of a common smith's errand boy.
He needs to be humbled!!! But he does it for her!!!! God I am in pain, I am swinging from the ceiling
Sauron didn't think much in that moment as the primal instincts took over him. He hid his coins away and hurried to (Y/N)'s stand as he grabbed the rude man by his tunic and turned him around.
“Are you bothering my wife?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.
Mark me down as scared and horny!!! Love this for him, protective husband sauron gives me life 🙌🙌
“Oh, but it's different, is it not? This man deserves it,” Sauron hissed out and when he was sure that (Y/N) kept glancing at the guards, he allowed his eyes to transform into two snake-like orbs that visibly terrified the rude man.
OH MY GOD BABY NO (BABY YES)
That guy will be rocking in a corner for the next 50 years wondering who the hell he messed with
Hilarious
“If you think I am going to let some bastard treat you this way, love, then you are mistaken. If I must rot in that cell for a lifetime, then I shall,” Sauron shrugged his arms and Halbrand's wife looked at him as if he had just said something crazy.
It's the protectiveness for me!!!! Over some random woman he didn't give two shits about!!! How the tables have tabled!!!
He had been waiting for her to come and now he was shocked, nearly startled. As if he had forgotten already about his scheme.
Lmfao sauron pulling a 'new phone who dis' on galadriel
Sauron felt an odd tug inside his heart at those words. Even though going with Galadriel to Middle-earth and continuing his plan while leaving annoying (Y/N) behind would be an ideal outcome… He felt challenged now to refuse Galadriel just to show (Y/N) that he could do better than that.
It's the fact he cares about his wife's opinion more than galadriel's now, like holy shit I am clashing cymbals and blowing trumpets over here
“I know ye want to. Just go, claim the title that's not yours, go on. But don't be stupid enough to think she'd ever want ye the way ye want her. Please, husband, don't embarrass yerself by thinkin' she'd want a filthy, ragged commoner,” (Y/N) whispered but in her voice there was no malice – it was pure worry and concern. Love.
Nooooooo oh god my heart, bless her, like he's been better to her than her husband ever was and she's still like
Yeah go on then, off you go 😭😭😭
“I'm not that stupid,” Sauron approached her with hesitance and put his hands on her arms to comfort her. “I know you're the only woman who is crazy enough to love me.”
“But is that enough to make ye stay?” She asked and her lower lip trembled.
He did not answer but he pulled her close to his chest to wrap his arms around her and kiss the top of her head.
YES
SAURON/READER NATION, WE HAVE WON
Oh god this was so soft, my heart aches, they're so fucking cute wtfffff
What if it was a second chance for him? Not for Sauron, but for the real him – Mairon…? What if it was his chance to get redeemed? To be at peace finally as if all the suffering Morgoth had put him through had never taken place?
YES BABY IT'S ALL ABOUT BREAKING THE CYCLE
(Y/N) shifted slightly in his arms and he looked down at her face that was now lit up by the first rays of the rising sun getting through the window. At that moment, that common and simple woman looked like the most beautiful creature in the whole world to him. And she certainly felt like peace.
She felt like what, sorry???? Felt like peace, you say??? How about you come to my house and stab me slowly in person???
Dead. Just dead.
“What if I told you I was not your husband?” He tried to make it sound light-hearted as if he was jesting. “That I'm a spirit that took over his body at that time when he was away while the village was being attacked?” He looked down at her, nervously.
LMFAO LOL BABE WHAT IF I WAS A FORMERLY EVIL SPIRIT BENT ON WORLD DOMINATION??
It's like, would you love me if I were a worm, but on steroids 😂😂😂
“Ye're crazy, Hal,” she chuckled and opened her eyes lazily. Then, she tilted her head and reached her hand up to caress his hair. “But, mayhaps, I'd believe that, ye know? 'Cause ye've changed a lot since then,” she admitted and hesitated for a moment as she bit on her lower lip. “It doesn't matter, love. I love ye the way ye are now – more than I've ever loved ye, even though I didn't think it was possible,” she confessed and Sauron felt his heart swelling inside his chest as he leaned down to join their lips together in a loving kiss.
Fucks sake. Like she really said she'd love him as a worm.
My heart hurts again, thank you.
As he watched the ships sail away on that day, Sauron couldn't believe that he was simply letting them go. He saw Lady Galadriel standing in her shining armour, holding her sword. She was still glancing at him as if she expected him to jump into the waters and join them no matter what
I CANNOT BELIEVE
It was the first time ever when he felt… tired. In the simplest and most common way, he felt exhausted and his stomach seemed to demand to have a meal. He nearly fainted at the end of his shift and when he dragged his feet back home, he was yawning. Surely, it would worry him under any other circumstances but now he was simply too tired to overthink what could have caused it. Was it some sort of a curse put on him by angry Lady Galadriel?
WHAAAAAT
Is he becoming human??? Is that what's happening here, am I going to yell again
Sauron began to suspect that he was turning into a human for some time now but it took an unusual revelation to convince him that it was truly happening indeed.
FUCK
I am overwhelmed now.
Sauron took a deep breath in. She didn't understand – it was not about being fertile or not. It was about the fact he was a Maia and there was no possibility of him putting a baby in her without doing it with his own free will.
DADDY HALBRAND IM GONNA YELL AGAIN
Lmfao he was really like
Uhhhhh is my wife that I previously wanted to murder cheating on me??? *kill bill sirens*
“And you are going to be the death of me,” he chuckled and leaned in to peck her lips.
She was going to be. Literally.
This body would start growing old normally now and, eventually, he would pass away like every mortal. But maybe he would do that laying in a bed, holding her hand and surrounded by their children.
I AM UNWELL
He goes from murder plotting to nuclear family in the blink of an eye and I love this for him!!!
Oh god it's a gorgeous twist on the giving up immortality trope, I love it so much
When they broke the kiss, (Y/N) smiled widely and caressed her husband's cheeks lovingly. She looked ethereal at that moment and a crazy thought appeared inside of his head.
“Tell me, love,” he started and she raised an eyebrow at him, “are you a spirit sent to me from Valinor to lead me back on the right path? Have I passed the test?” He dared to ask and he could swear, there was a small sparkle lighting up her eyes for a short while. But then, she only laughed.
The way I literally did this
I'm headcanoning it now, I actually kinda love this as a twist, the Valar send him a test and he passes with flying colours so he can return to Valinor (but he refuses bc he'd be parted from his family in the afterlife and we can't have that)
He kept staring at her for some time more, then he went back to looking at the ceiling. And, eventually, he turned around as well to wrap his arm around the waist of Halbrand's wife.
His wife.
It was the "his wife" for me
I'm actually emotionally broken, like damn he really just adopted her as his wife, I'm??? Idek 😭😭
“I have something for you, too, Princess,” Halbrand assured her and took another item out of his pocket – a seashell made out of iron.
He had made sure it was crafted with the best precision and with all the tiny details, therefore it looked nearly like a real seashell. Only it was silver, which made it even better in his little girl's eyes.
GIRL DAD SAURON USING HIS SKILLS TO MAKE BEAUTIFUL TRINKETS FOR HIS DAUGHTER
IT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN
Aulë’s greatest smith using his skills for good not evil, I am emotionally compromised, I'm gonna go lie down
It was nearly as peaceful and beautiful as back in the day in Valinor. Mortals perhaps were not welcome there but, apparently, they could also experience wonders as marvellous.
MY HEART, HIS FAMILY ARE AS WONDROUS AS VALINOR, I'M GONNA GO CHEW CONCRETE
It would only bring her useless pain and he knew very well that her actual husband would most likely never do all these things he had done to make her happy. He would not love her right like he could.
Okay so he is the Deceiver, and of course it's based on a lie, but it might as well stay that way??
"He would not love her right like he could" once again, you come to my house and victimise me this way
After all, it was not the sunset but her and her brother that were the real wonders. And it was not Númenor that he called home but it was them – they were his better place.
THEY ARE HIS HOME I'M CRAWLING THE WALLS, I'M SWINGING FROM THE CHANDELIER
Love this was absolute gold, 10/10, 5 star, amazing
I love the softness, I really need it right now, it is healing my heart 💜💜💜
— SOMEPLACE BETTER (III)
PART ONE || PART TWO
PAIRING — Sauron x fem!human(?)!Reader
SUMMARY — Lady Galadriel keeps convincing Halbrand and his wife to change their minds and go back to Middle-earth but Sauron is starting to realise that this new life might be his chance to start all over and redeem himself.
AUTHOR’S NOTE — As I warned, in this part Sauron is very ooc but I'm a sucker for happy endings... I couldn't picture it any other way with a mortal Reader tbh... 🤷🏻♀️ Although, whether she is really a human or not – I let you decide and interpret it whatever way you wish! 😉💝 The song The Reader sings in this part is called Lonesome Road and I know it from Joan Baez but I changed the lyrics a little so they could fit the fantasy world better.
WORD COUNT — 4,570
ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.
SOMEPLACE BETTER (III)
Even though he thought Halbrand's wife had given up on him already, it seemed to be quite otherwise. The guards came to Sauron in the early morning to tell him that he was free to go under a condition to never start any fight on the streets of Númenor ever again. Next time, the Queen Regent would not be so merciful. And now, she would even give him a chance to prove his worth and earn the guild crest.
Apparently, (Y/N) had spent nearly the whole night begging and pleading after getting an audience.
Free to go anywhere he wanted to, he simply decided to walk back to his new home and wait there for Lady Galadriel to show up with the next idea or opportunity.
It was not going according to his plan – (Y/N) had made sure of it. But it was still going well enough and that was what mattered the most.
As he was approaching the house, he heard a familiar voice singing a song as the sound travelled through the open windows and out into the streets. The voice perhaps was not the most talented but it was not awful either and he found it oddly soothing to listen to.
Slowly and quietly, Sauron walked inside the house and leaned on the wall with crossed arms as he watched (Y/N) with a smirk. She had her back turned on him and had no idea he was there as she busied herself with brushing her hair in front of a small mirror and preparing to go to her new work.
And while doing so, she was singing. Sauron listened with curiosity because he had missed many new songs in the time when he had been regaining his strength to go back to the world of living.
And he had never been familiar with the songs of common people anyway.
“They say all good friends must part sometime. Why not you and I, my Lord? Why not you and I?” (Y/N) sang softly. “Oh, I wish to the gods that I'd never been born or died when I was a baby, my Lord… Or died when I was a baby,” she added and Sauron swallowed a lump in his throat.
He had no idea he would be able to see himself in a song written by commoners and yet, he sometimes wondered himself why the Valar had created him. And he often wished they had not. It would save him pain and suffering that he was not able to speak of.
“Oh, I wish to the gods that I'd never seen your face, heard your lyin' tongue, my Lord… Heard your lyin' tongue,” (Y/N) kept going with the song as she put some rouge upon her cheeks. “You better look up and down that long, lonesome road where all of your friends have gone, my Lord, and you and I must go…” she continued humming and then she jumped up at the sight of him standing behind her with crossed arms. “Oi, Hal, I haven't seen ye. Forgive me, I know ye don't like it when I sing,” she got nervous in an instant.
“I don't?” Sauron raised an eyebrow, surprised.
“Ye always say it's givin' ye headaches,” (Y/N) rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Anyhow, I'm off to work now,” she informed him with a sweet smile and approached him to place a kiss upon his cheek.
He let her but when she wanted to move away, he grabbed her wrists to keep her in place and she raised an eyebrow at him.
“What have you done to free me, love?” He asked in a whisper.
“I begged and pleaded for ye, Hal,” she answered. “Told the good Queen ye're naught but a man who wants to work, with a pride that's hurt. I promised ye wouldn't get in trouble again. An' ye better not.” (Y/N)'s eyes filled with pain as if she knew already he would break the promise.
Because Halbrand most likely had broken such promises many times before and Sauron had planned that, too. But now, looking deep into her eyes, he suddenly wanted to change his mind. He did not want to be like Halbrand – he wanted to be a better version of him.
“I don't deserve you,” he admitted and caressed her cheek gently.
“Start, then,” she challenged him with a cracked smile and patted his chest before going out of the house.
And even though Sauron was tempted to stay inside and wait for Lady Galadriel to show up, he walked out as well and went to the forge nearby where he was supposed to start his own training to be able to earn the guild crest.
Humiliating it was and very humbling for the disciple of Aulë to be reduced to the role of a common smith's errand boy.
When Sauron was coming back from work, it was getting dark already. He was walking slowly down the steps and whistling the very same song he had heard earlier that day – the one Halbrand's wife had been singing.
In his hands he was carrying a few coins he had earned on that day and he was playing with them by tossing them in the air and catching them swiftly right after. As he approached the harbour, he spotted (Y/N) standing by one of the wooden tables and selling the goods to the people standing in the queue.
He wondered why she was left alone by the stand but assumed the woman working with her was having a break. And the closer to the market he was getting, the more he could see how stressed Halbrand's wife seemed to be.
“You useless woman, you can't even count properly, can you?!” Sauron heard some man's harsh words due to the fact his hearing was much better than if he was truly human.
“I-I'm sorry, I'm still learnin'. How much do I owe ye, then?” (Y/N) was trying to sound nice.
“You're good for nothing, stupid wench,” the man spat out. “Where is Bellona?”
“She had to leave earlier today. Please, it is no big deal. Let me just give you back the money and–”
“You should go back to Middle-earth where low women like you belong,” the man interrupted her.
Sauron didn't think much in that moment as the primal instincts took over him. He hid his coins away and hurried to (Y/N)'s stand as he grabbed the rude man by his tunic and turned him around.
“Are you bothering my wife?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Hal!” (Y/N) squealed, looking nervously at the guards that were already coming their way after sensing trouble. “Let go of him, I beg ye! Ye promised me ye wouldn't–”
“Oh, but it's different, is it not? This man deserves it,” Sauron hissed out and when he was sure that (Y/N) kept glancing at the guards, he allowed his eyes to transform into two snake-like orbs that visibly terrified the rude man.
Sauron let go of his tunic the moment he heard the guards standing behind him and the man hurried away as quickly as possible.
“It's nothin', it's nothin'!” (Y/N) exclaimed at the guards. “I'm closin' for the day! Please, let us go.”
The men looked at each other but since the other man had run away and did not file any complaint, they just shrugged their arms and walked away alongside the rest of the people waiting in the queue.
“Ye promised!” (Y/N) gave Sauron a very scolding look as she busied herself with tidying up the stand and collecting the money.
“If you think I am going to let some bastard treat you this way, love, then you are mistaken. If I must rot in that cell for a lifetime, then I shall,” Sauron shrugged his arms and Halbrand's wife looked at him as if he had just said something crazy.
“Since when are ye so gifted with words, Hal?” She chuckled and shook her head. “Anyhow, in that cell, ye won't be 'round to protect me. Foolish, it'd be, but ye've never been the brightest, have ye?” she pointed out and Sauron gritted his teeth with an eye roll.
She kept blabbering to him about her day while they walked back to their house and even though it was a short road, it felt like forever due to her talking. However, Sauron was very surprised at the sight of Lady Galadriel sitting by the table when they entered the house.
He had been waiting for her to come and now he was shocked, nearly startled. As if he had forgotten already about his scheme.
“Oi!” (Y/N) put her hands on her hips. “Is it not illegal to sneak up on folk like that inside their own homes, Elf?!” She asked. “When'll ye leave us be, huh?”
“The Queen Regent agreed to gather the army. They will seek for the volunteers,” Galadriel announced. “People of Númenor might not need you, Halbrand, but when we arrive in The Southlands, a strong leader will be needed. Someone to unite and show the way.”
“Someone to lie, ye say,” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and finally closed the door behind her. “But go on, Elf, keep talkin'. I'm sure my husband'll agree sooner or later. Vain as he is, always has been,” she sighed as if she was defeated.
Sauron felt an odd tug inside his heart at those words. Even though going with Galadriel to Middle-earth and continuing his plan while leaving annoying (Y/N) behind would be an ideal outcome… He felt challenged now to refuse Galadriel just to show (Y/N) that he could do better than that.
“I have already told the Queen Regent who you most likely are,” Galadriel insisted, ignoring Halbrand's wife and looking deep into his eyes.
“You must be desperate,” he pointed out with a smirk and watched his angry wife unpacking the groceries from her wicker basket on the kitchen counter.
“Of course I am. And you should be, too. It is about your home. Why do you give up on it so easily?” Galadriel wondered out loud.
“It gave up on us long before we ever gave up on it,” (Y/N) turned around to answer her.
“This land was your place in Middle-earth. It was giving you vegetables to eat, grass to feed your animals with, clean water from the rivers…” Lady Galadriel pointed out.
“And what do ye know about it, grand Elf?” (Y/N) rolled her eyes at that. “It ain't easy work growin' yer vegetables an' keepin' yer animals alive. One bad winter's all it takes to take away yer loved ones, yer cows, horses, an' chickens. I've no love for that land,” she stated, harshly.
“You can change the fate of people who suffer like you have suffered…” Galadriel's voice softened. “As their Queen,” she tempted and Sauron raised an eyebrow, surprised to see how dirty she could play.
Nearly as dirty as him.
“Me? A Queen?” (Y/N) laughed at that. “I can't even read!” She only said and turned around again to deal with the groceries.
“Halbrand, please. They need you,” Galadriel stood up and put her hand on his shoulder before lowering her voice. “I need you,” she added and looked down before leaving the house quietly.
Long silence occurred between Sauron and Halbrand's wife.
“Go with her,” (Y/N) muttered.
“What?” Sauron looked at her, surprised. She turned around to lay her wet eyes on him.
“I know ye want to. Just go, claim the title that's not yours, go on. But don't be stupid enough to think she'd ever want ye the way ye want her. Please, husband, don't embarrass yerself by thinkin' she'd want a filthy, ragged commoner,” (Y/N) whispered but in her voice there was no malice – it was pure worry and concern. Love.
“I'm not that stupid,” Sauron approached her with hesitance and put his hands on her arms to comfort her. “I know you're the only woman who is crazy enough to love me.”
“But is that enough to make ye stay?” She asked and her lower lip trembled.
He did not answer but he pulled her close to his chest to wrap his arms around her and kiss the top of her head.
Sauron was laying awake all night long as usual, caressing the back of Halbrand's wife and staring at the ceiling. He knew they would gather the volunteers on the next day and he still was not sure what to do.
The path he had chosen for himself was not so certain anymore. He truly did not mind the life he had here in Númenor and even (Y/N)'s presence was becoming less and less annoying to him. In fact – even though she had no idea who he truly was – it felt oddly nice to be loved and taken care of. As simple as that.
He extended his hand to the nightstand and brushed the pendant laying there with his fingertips as he remembered the very first conversation he had had with the heraldry's original owner – Diarmid.
“A sure path may crumble, but there's always another. Often, it can lead us someplace better. Someplace good. They say there's a place across the sea, a man can escape himself. Find another path. Perhaps another life.”
What if it was a second chance for him? Not for Sauron, but for the real him – Mairon…? What if it was his chance to get redeemed? To be at peace finally as if all the suffering Morgoth had put him through had never taken place?
(Y/N) shifted slightly in his arms and he looked down at her face that was now lit up by the first rays of the rising sun getting through the window. At that moment, that common and simple woman looked like the most beautiful creature in the whole world to him. And she certainly felt like peace.
“Is it time to wake up now, love?” She mumbled out, sleepily.
“No, love, not yet. I will tell you when,” he assured her.
“Good,” she smiled and nuzzled her face deeper into him.
“(Y/N)?” Sauron swallowed a lump in his throat as he fidgeted with the pendant between his fingers.
“Hm?”
“What if I told you I was not your husband?” He tried to make it sound light-hearted as if he was jesting. “That I'm a spirit that took over his body at that time when he was away while the village was being attacked?” He looked down at her, nervously.
“Ye're crazy, Hal,” she chuckled and opened her eyes lazily. Then, she tilted her head and reached her hand up to caress his hair. “But, mayhaps, I'd believe that, ye know? 'Cause ye've changed a lot since then,” she admitted and hesitated for a moment as she bit on her lower lip. “It doesn't matter, love. I love ye the way ye are now – more than I've ever loved ye, even though I didn't think it was possible,” she confessed and Sauron felt his heart swelling inside his chest as he leaned down to join their lips together in a loving kiss.
As he watched the ships sail away on that day, Sauron couldn't believe that he was simply letting them go. He saw Lady Galadriel standing in her shining armour, holding her sword. She was still glancing at him as if she expected him to jump into the waters and join them no matter what.
He wondered why she was so drawn to him, even after (Y/N)'s big mouth had made it clear that he was not any forgotten king. Could Galadriel feel who he was, deep inside?
But who was he? He was not sure anymore.
So, he looked away and went back on the road that would lead him to the forge where he worked these days. He was told he would get his guild crest very soon because they were in awe of his extraordinary talents.
Not only talent was his quality, though. It was also how much he was able to work at once and without breaks. At least it had been this way until recently.
It was the first time ever when he felt… tired. In the simplest and most common way, he felt exhausted and his stomach seemed to demand to have a meal. He nearly fainted at the end of his shift and when he dragged his feet back home, he was yawning. Surely, it would worry him under any other circumstances but now he was simply too tired to overthink what could have caused it. Was it some sort of a curse put on him by angry Lady Galadriel?
“Halbrand!” (Y/N)'s worried tone brought him back to reality when he entered the house.
She hurried to him and cupped his cheeks with widened eyes.
“Love, ye're so pale, an' the bags under yer eyes… What happened?!”
“Nothing happened,” Sauron shrugged his arms. “I'm just tired, that's it. I nearly fainted,” he admitted and sat down on the chair, sighing out of relief to finally be able to rest a little.
“Well, that's no wonder! Ye've been eatin' half meals for weeks now!” Halbrand's wife pointed out in a scolding manner. “We're not starvin' anymore, Hal, ye don't have to keep givin' me yer portions!” She exclaimed and approached the stove to pour him a bowl full of soup. “Here, eat,” she ordered as she placed it in front of him.
And, for some reason, Sauron ate all of it in a blink of an eye. He even asked for one more portion as Halbrand's wife gave it to him gladly but not without more of her whining about him being irresponsible. Then he asked for another and after three bowls of her soup, he finally felt better.
His stomach was no longer hurting at least, but he was still sleepy.
“Go, take some rest, love,” (Y/N) shook her head. “Ye don't sleep enough, don't eat enough. At least ye're not drinkin' and gamblin' anymore, but ye can't go on like this. Do ye want to die before forty, Hal? I ain't lettin' that happen!” She continued with her usual whining and he rolled his eyes.
“How can I rest when you keep your mouth open?!” Sauron asked and she huffed but she went silent and left him alone in the bedroom as she went back to the kitchen to clean the bowl after his soup.
It was the very first time when Sauron fell asleep not out of boredom or the need of dissociation but out of exhaustion.
And when he opened his eyes again, it was the next morning already and (Y/N) was shaking him to wake him up.
“Halbrand! Ye're gonna be late for work!” She exclaimed.
“But… I'm still tired…” He mumbled out, not understanding what was happening to him.
“Like all of us working folk each mornin'!” (Y/N) laughed. “Come on, I'm not lettin' ye out without breakfast, go to the kitchen,” she hurried him and he rubbed his eyes before nodding at her.
Sauron began to suspect that he was turning into a human for some time now but it took an unusual revelation to convince him that it was truly happening indeed.
(Y/N) was grinning widely on that day when he came back home and she welcomed him by throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him all over his face as he tried to give back some of the kisses. When she finally stopped, she fixed his brand new guild crest and batted her eyelashes while looking up to stare into his eyes.
“What is it?” He asked.
“I think I'm expectin', Hal,” she told him, excitedly. “I wasn't sure but my friends at work said those are the very symptoms!” She added happily and he froze as he blinked slowly a few times, trying to process the new information.
“That is… Impossible,” he furrowed his brows.
“I used to think so, too. Married for so long with no babe of our own but I was wishin' and hopin' and here we are!” She clapped her hands like an excited child. “Perhaps it was that damned Middle-earth not being good for us, Hal, but here we can!”
Sauron took a deep breath in. She didn't understand – it was not about being fertile or not. It was about the fact he was a Maia and there was no possibility of him putting a baby in her without doing it with his own free will.
Unless…
“You're not sleeping around, are you?” He asked before he could think about the rubbish leaving his mouth.
(Y/N) froze at his words and her smile turned into a frown. She approached him at this very moment and slapped his face. Hard. He could feel it like any mortal would now and he admitted it truly hurt.
“How dare ye, Halbrand?! Ye wretched bastard! Even if ye meant to jest, that was uncalled for!” She raised her voice as he rubbed his cheek and winced out of pain.
“I'm sorry, love, I haven't thought before speaking. I just can't believe it…” He tried to excuse himself. “Please, forgive me.”
Her face didn't look so angry anymore but she didn't say anything and turned around without a word to walk away.
In fact, she didn't say a word to him for the rest of the day and only at night when she was deep asleep, he dared to touch her abdomen slightly with his hand.
He wasn't able to feel any presence there but these days he couldn't feel anything, to be honest. He couldn't hear nor see as much either. He was losing his abilities as time was passing.
Sauron kept his hand there, on the belly of Halbrand's wife, and he sighed. It was happening, whether he liked it or not. And he was not even sure anymore if he wanted it or not.
As he got lost in the train of thought, he realised that he had been caressing (Y/N) abdomen all that time without thinking. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled gently at him.
“Hal, ye son of a bitch,” she shook her head and giggled as she took his hand carefully and brought it to her lips to place a few small and sweet kisses upon his knuckles. “I swear, ye're gonna be the death of me.”
“And you are going to be the death of me,” he chuckled and leaned in to peck her lips.
She was going to be. Literally.
This body would start growing old normally now and, eventually, he would pass away like every mortal. But maybe he would do that laying in a bed, holding her hand and surrounded by their children.
When they broke the kiss, (Y/N) smiled widely and caressed her husband's cheeks lovingly. She looked ethereal at that moment and a crazy thought appeared inside of his head.
“Tell me, love,” he started and she raised an eyebrow at him, “are you a spirit sent to me from Valinor to lead me back on the right path? Have I passed the test?” He dared to ask and he could swear, there was a small sparkle lighting up her eyes for a short while. But then, she only laughed.
“Go back to sleep, ye madman,” she patted his chest lightly and turned around while laughing softly.
He kept staring at her for some time more, then he went back to looking at the ceiling. And, eventually, he turned around as well to wrap his arm around the waist of Halbrand's wife.
His wife.
Halbrand was coming back from work slowly while playing with the little horse forged out of iron in his hand as he hummed a song. The sun was setting slowly on the horizon when he approached the harbour where (Y/N) was slowly tidying up her stand on the market.
Her own one, that she had earned finally and was so proud of it as she was working for herself now and was able to bring more money home.
He watched her tidy up with a loving smile and their son was helping her while talking to her excitedly about something – his mouth would never close just like his mother's.
“Daddy!” He spotted him finally and ran up to him as (Y/N) chuckled.
“Hey, little man,” Halbrand crouched down to give his son a hug. “How was your day?”
“It was good!” The boy nodded. “I helped mummy a bit. And yours, daddy?”
“I made this for you,” Halbrand handed him the little horse and the boys' eyes sparkled at the sight.
“So pretty! Thank you, daddy!” He wrapped his little arms around Halbrand's neck to give him another hug and Halbrand patted his back.
“And for me?! For me?!” He felt something tugging at his tunic and he laughed at the sight of his excited daughter. He gave her a hug, too and caressed her ruffled hair as she gave him a toothless smile.
“I have something for you, too, Princess,” Halbrand assured her and took another item out of his pocket – a seashell made out of iron.
He had made sure it was crafted with the best precision and with all the tiny details, therefore it looked nearly like a real seashell. Only it was silver, which made it even better in his little girl's eyes.
“Thank you, daddy!” She giggled as she squinted her eyes at the shell and kept examining it under every possible angle.
“You spoil 'em way too much!” (Y/N) stood above him and he stood up to greet her with a short peck on the cheek.
“Somebody has to,” Halbrand answered playfully and his wife shot him a glance, which made his son giggle.
“Stop sayin' nonsense and let's go back home,” she shook her head and walked away slowly.
He watched his children follow her happily and he did, too, but much slower as he stared at the sun setting on the horizon. The sky looked like a canva full of pink and orange hues and he took a deep breath in at the beauty of it.
It was nearly as peaceful and beautiful as back in the day in Valinor. Mortals perhaps were not welcome there but, apparently, they could also experience wonders as marvellous.
And perhaps this whole life was built on a lie because he couldn't imagine telling (Y/N) the truth about who he truly was and that her real husband had been dead for years. That he had died because of gambling and drinking after leaving her alone when she was being attacked by the Orcs. There was no point in telling her even if she would somehow believe him. It would only bring her useless pain and he knew very well that her actual husband would most likely never do all these things he had done to make her happy. He would not love her right like he could.
“Ye comin', Hal?” His wife's voice brought him back to reality.
Halbrand nodded at her and joined her side to take his daughter by her little hand.
After all, it was not the sunset but her and her brother that were the real wonders. And it was not Númenor that he called home but it was them – they were his better place.
MASTERLIST
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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oh man, i tried to classpect the animorphs once! never really finished, but from what i remember:
rachel - knight of rage
jake - rogue of blood
tobias - breath
marco - seer of mind or seer of heart
cassie - maid of heart or maid of space
ax - possibly light? i was always least sure of him
david - void
rachel is definitely a knight, probably a knight of rage. knights are said to protect their aspect or protect with their aspect, and rachel's primary motivations throughout the entire series are to protect the people she loves. (the knights we meet in homestuck also tend to struggle with facades and their sense of self which, like, hello?) rage meanwhile, while it can be the aspect of anger, also encompasses fear and skepticism -- sometimes healthy, sometimes not. one of the most important parts of rachel's character to me, besides her protectiveness, is the times we see she's afraid. not really afraid of the yeerks or even of dying, she's afraid of herself and who she's becoming, afraid of losing her friends and family, which is what drives her protectiveness. plus, the berserker getting the rage aspect is so on the nose that it works
jake is blood for sure, but i never settled on a class for him. it feels like a fandom cliche to make the leader a blood player but like. come on. he's absolutely blood! blood concerns itself primarily with interpersonal bonds, connections, and responsibility which is A) jake's main drive for the fight (ie, saving tom) and B) the reason he was chosen as team leader to begin with. the other animorphs primarily know each other through their relationships with jake, and in turn, jake can read his teammates so well that he could near accurately predict how anyone would respond in a given situation. if i had to pick a class for him off the top of my head, he might be a rogue. theyre said to steal their aspect for the benefit of others (whatever that means tbh) but i also just think it would be so funny if the "andalite bandits" were headed by a rogue
tobias is breath easily. its also kind of on the nose when you consider that breath players get air/wind powers, but more importantly, breath is the aspect of freedom and disconnect. thats just... tobias. i dont have to explain myself. thats tobias. and also importantly, breath is the opposite aspect to blood, which for the purposes of this analysis do well to help emphasize how opposite he is to jake.
marco i can see as both a mind and a heart player. theyre opposites, but its pretty common in homestuck for characters to embody traits of their opposite aspects anyway. mind is thinking and rationality, while heart is feeling and emotion, but mind and heart both have a lot to do with identity and self. mind is to obscure the self and heart players is to embrace the self, but then, part of a character's journey is struggling with what their aspect means to them; the comic's most popular heart player has very obvious mind tendencies after all. marco is the Thinking Man of the group but he's not a robot. he's honestly pretty susceptible to letting his emotions get in the way of his decision making, particularly when it comes to his mom. he's either a mind player with very strong heart leanings or vice versa. as for him being a seer of either, seers are the class of knowledge and observation, which make them well suited for being tacticians.
cassie is hard to pin down tbh. she has the feeling empathetic nature of heart for sure, but space being the aspect of creation just feels so fitting for her in a way i can't explain. either way, i'm thinking maid -- maids are said to be particularly close to their aspect which can be both beneficial and detrimental if they don't learn how to strike balance. maids are also commonly headcanon to be a healer class and i just like the idea of cassie being a healer of heart/self or healer of space/creation
oh, aximili. he's the hardest for me to classpect which is why he's last*. my only real argument for ax as light is that light is the aspect of knowledge, among other things, and he's the closest thing the team has to an IT guy and alien expert. no idea about class.
okay yes of course i had to do david. he was an animorph too for a while!
david is void definitely. besides being appropriately edgy-sounding, my reasoning is also kind of mean, and i love being kind of mean to david. so, his actions in the series are honestly pretty light-y. because, besides being the aspect of knowledge, light is also pretty attention-seeking which imo david's role as a traitor who tries to align himself with whoever has the most power in a given situation, only to eventually attempt to weasel his way into power himself... right up until he gets bested by those he underestimated and cast into literal obscurity. light's opposite, void, IS the aspect of insignificance and obscurity. it's the aspect of "nothing." and wouldn't it just piss him off to learn he was destined for nothing?
I know you didn't get into Homestuck but on the offchance your followers have opinions what would the Animorph's classpects be?
I will float this to the followers. People who know Animorphs and Homestuck - thoughts?
#homestuck#animorphs#when i tried posting this the first time it didnt save my tags so lets try again#fun fact: after noticing tobias/jake made such a perfect opposite aspect pair i really really wanted everyone else to too#cassie/marco are an easy fit for heart/mind (or even mind/heart hmmm) but i just couldnt swing rachel/ax for rage/hope#which sucks because they already butt heads so often as it is that it wouldve been nice to see that reflect in their aspects#but i just cant see ax as hope#also on an in-character level i think it would be funny if marco got heart because itd annoy him which im sorta leaning to#first of all because heart clothes are pink and its the 90s and because heart is the “lame” aspect#i can already hear the self deprecating captain planet jokes#i did briefly consider prince for jake because it wouldve been funny but it didnt really match him as well#but speaking of princes#esplin is absolutely a prince of hope#i didnt put it in the body of the post bc really who cares BUT think about#prince - violent and stubborn. hope - delusional. come on#esplin can wield his own hope (again: delusional) to destroy other peoples hope (murders subordinates for fun)
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i'm getting towards the end of the skypeia arc, & i'd like to say just how much i adore the way the female strawhats have been treated.
just... every aspect of how the way their characters have been previously contextualized influences the story-line is treated with a masterful amount of consideration. we're given so many layers to both of them that enrich not only their characters specifically, but the arc, and the one piece world as a whole. without nami & robin having their specific skills, and their specific values, without those being built upon, the story would have come to a halt.
you could not have skypeia without nami & robin being who they are as individuals. not just because they never would've gotten there without nami, but also because the way these women think is itself foundational to the machinations of the arc as a whole.
to be totally upfront, if you think any other strawhats were more central to the skypeia arc than nami & robin were you are full-on fucking lying to yourself.
#obligatory disclaimer that i’m aware luffy is the protagonist & a lot of interesting stuff is explored w him. this isn’t abt him though.#part of me wonders if this is an aspect of why people will write off this arc sometimes tbh... like that & the political themes.#but yeah anyway i get why people say that for all there are 100% misogynistic tendencies in oda's writing & character design#it is very very hard to say that he as an individual is an ideological misogynist. like the level of care he puts into his female cast mem#-ers generally speaking & how he approaches what existing as a multi-dimensional individual would look like in their specific contexts is#like... in a lot of ways still something that is unprecedented across all forms of media.#but also not the point but anyone who says nami in particular doesnt get real fights/is unskilled um... no you're wrong read her fight in#alabasta & then all of skypeia.#like in alabasta she takes on arguably a stronger opponent than sanji when considering the structuring of BW. not only that but she does s#with a weapon she has never used before while actively reading the instruction manual. and she WINS. she wins based on sheer intellect &#the ability to utilize skills the audience already knows she has. the pre-existing basic fighting skills she's introduced with are elabora#-ed upon by incorporating her skill w navigation. same with the way her cunning is used in skypeia to cover her lack of sheer brute. &#the best part about it is she's fucking tough in a way that makes sense! she isn't strong/weak just for the sake of positioning her as such#it is thoughtful & it strengthens her as a character rather than just like giving the power-scaler types smth to mindlessly chew on.#like do i wish nami got to fight more & take a more active role in that regard even if i don't think she needs to be a fighter in the same#sense as the monster trio? yes absolutely. i'm guessing this is going to be smth that bothers me potentially even more with robin.#but that does not mean her fights are not masterfully written when she gets them or that she isn't tough as a bag of nails.#respect my darling woman or die.#skypeia#nico robin#nami#grey's one piece tag
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5 for the isat ask game!
5 - What's your favorite optional event?
VERY TOUGH ONE TO ANSWER. I'm gonna go right ahead and disqualify twohats bc it's a predictable answer. If I had to choose just one though I think it'd probably be the sus event. It really got my goat on my first playthrough bc I didn't realize you had to do it in ACT 4. If I remember correctly I think sus is the only optional event locked to ACT 4??? Now that I've actually done it though I'm quite fond of it.
Sus event is one that you really have to go out of your way to do. It kind of reminds me of the True Ending in SASASAP but More and I'm sure that's intentional. Like the requirements for sus quest necessitate that you're going to do it, if not the loop before ACT 5, very soon before it. You have to know pretty much everything about Time Craft and Wish Craft already, so whatever you're doing in the loops now is basically taking out any optional stuff before you hit the end. You have to pretty thoroughly remember how the script goes just so you know all the best ways to break it. I feel like if the True Ending route is Loop going through the motions so many times that they can't deal with holding their facade together any longer, the sus route is Siffrin waving a big red flag around for help. There's just no way you're going to stumble into sus without preplanning what to do to rack up your points and make Odile aware of how Wish Craft works.
So I think it's interesting how much Siffrin pushes back against Odile trying to figure him out. It's a pattern of behavior that I am well aware of where you're desperately going "HELP ME" but you're not willing to accept it when it's offered to you.
Siffrin spends an entire loop screwing everything up, to a point that's frankly kind of egregious even by Late Stage Timeloopers standards, and then they can't reckon with the consequences of it. I don't think sus event is as intentional of a cry for help for Siffrin as it is the player, mind you. But I do think it's. Very tragic. Yeah of course "it's too late" in the sense that Siffrin's about to talk to Euphie and the whole journey will end, but moreso it's that by the time that Odile can piece together all the information necessary to figure Siffrin out, Siffrin is just far too deeply entrenched in his self hatred and fear of abandonment to be dug out. I think if Odile could somehow figure it out in, like, early ACT 3, or if Isabeau was just a bit more pushy in getting Siffrin to do a feelings talk, maybe they'd actually be able to reach Siffrin a little. But they're always just a little too late, every single time.
I think the fact that you start really getting a bunch of weird points in ACT 3 gives this event a lot of buildup. For potential dozens of loops you'll see Odile brush against the truth of the situation, and then just barely miss. By the time she figures it out, it's too late. Explodes
Expounded upon slightly more in tags bc I don't like typing in post bodies I feel like a fish on land. eek
#asks#ask game#ive been forgetting 2 tag my asks. smh#Sorry ocean that this took a while to answer i got lost in the sauce (rereading dialogue in rpgmaker)#i spent way too long writing this and i dont think i even touched on the guts of why this scene gets to me. tbh#it's just like. idk i've been there#doing shit not even really on purpose to kind of flag other people like Hey i'm doing bad#and then they're like hey are you doing bad and it's like. Oh fuck well now they know and they'll want me to die. i gotta get outta here#very relatable siffrin momence. never a good thing#like i realize that siffrin was literally like 'i don't think i want ur help' and then i kept calling their actions a cry for help#but like that's what it is. i can't read susquest as anything else. i don't think those two things contradict either#desire to be helped versus desire to not be perceived/not be a burden on others.#wanting help but not wanting to BE helped? does that make sense. am i saying words#it's like how loop wanted help so badly they lost everything in pursuit of it when all they had to do was be honest with their friends.#idk. kicks rock around#isat spoilers
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okay i'm still very awake so you're all gonna have to deal with me red-stringing about character bullshit until i fall asleep. i Know i'm making a big post about this but i don't care
why. this is the first instance of mark being designated as the one in charge when a higher-up (fred, in this case) isn't present. but why. they were only trapped in the slipspace fuckeryzone for a few days relative to normal space-time and i don't think anything drastic happens (with these guys) in glasslands? at least according to the wiki it doesn't. why did being integrated into blue team suddenly disrupt team saber's former command structure?
did they plan to kill mark off at the very start of this? was this all a long game to give mark enough of a foothold as an Important Character to make his death have more impact? does troy denning just like him more? how much weight did his personal preferences even play in this? why do the gammas suddenly start bantering when they're in danger and alone with a woman they just met? why do mark and ash seem to switch personalities every other chapter? why is this worse than i remember it being when i first read it a few months ago?
#this is only partially shitposting#the more i flip back and forth between all these books the weirder it gets#i know i'm reading too far into what's probably trivial nonsense#but boy oh boy do i want to make it make sense#also. there's a one-braincell quota for every denning novel#and only one character is allowed to have it at a time#listen. they're not Bad to read#they're mostly fun if you overlook the fact that highly-intelligent spartans#would PROBABLY not be clueless about the basics of forensic procedure#i don't even mind that mark is the one in charge in this era of novels#i like mark#but i want the Why#and i want to see the Why on ash's side of it too#tbh the boring answer is just. everyone agreed this was an acceptable direction#for the characters to go. and that was that#i mean halo canon continuity is a mess already given everyone who's contributed#but. gestures helplessly#ash reads halo#ash goes fucking insane reading halo#that should be the tag for these#can anyone tell what kind of day i've had?#can anyone hear me#halo#halo books#gamma company#mark g313#book: last light#character analysis hell tag#essay reference tag
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i think this was funnier in my head.
#puppy draws#yo-kai watch#katie forester#jibanyan#whisper#whisper ykw#usapyon#hailey anne thomas#as a diagnosed autistic person i can confirm that the autism evaluation results#just being a picture of the autism creature with text saying you have the tism is accurate#i don't even remember how this idea came to me i think i was just overly tired this morning and then this happened#also ignore the fact that i refuse to accept nate as being canon protagonist katie is like way better sorry besties <3#that's like 80% a joke. every main yo-kai watch character is my blorbo and nate is included in that#i just also prefer katie. playing 3 and rewatching the anime + reading the manga did endear me to nate more though#i like how he's average but also totally bisexual. no i will not elaborate#why do my tags always get so derailed. uhhhh back to autism. hailey is so fucking autistic ngl#there's like at least five different instances in 3 of her just completely failing to read the room#she's totally hyperfixated on sailor cuties and next harmeowny#she has adhd vibes too i think but. the tism is very strong#i can't decide my favorite part of this between the “yippee!! you have the tism” image and jibanyan asking what autism is#he doesn't know because he has autism by default through being a cat he didn't need a diagnosis#i feel like all of them are autistic tbh but that's probably just me projecting. i totally gave katie autism in the rewrite though#i wasn't even trying to i just don't know what neurotypicals are like because i got that autistic rizz. and adhd rizz. mostly the adhd#i am definitely also autistic but i think my adhd effects me a lot more in day-to-day life#since i usually just interact with my moms who know i'm autistic and are also both neurodivergent#and people online. most of who are autistic because it's mostly on tumblr and this is the autism website#yo-kai watch more like yo-gay watchtism amirite-#oh also very amused by hailey just poofing into existence in the second picture. as you do
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Ancient wisdom: Do not sew that which can be super glued together
#art#fiber art#crochet#my crochet projects#described images#image description in alt#i could have bought a much better pouch for two dollars and that's what makes this shitty pouch great :)#why would i watch a sub-par marvel movie when i could watch the cinema masterpiece that is The Room (2003)#i'm actually sad that i don't have more button pins because i love attatching them to my projects#i hate sewing by hand because i know nothing about doing it right tbh#and apparently i refuse to learn even a simple whip stitch#so i'll solve this shit like a southern dad who does shoddy DIY#i should have used fabric glue but consider this: i only had super glue
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not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it
#i really said “okay big performance in the city square let's make this work” and i did but absolute fuckery of the manager just made me...#and she also used to complain about being an opening act-- like come on that's a nationally-renowned band and we're not there yet 😭#we used to fight a lot though so ack i really should have taken that as a red flag#but i was 14 and stupid 🤷♂️#being solo way better uM i shouldn't say this yet but i got a commission today audhauagah i don't even have a portfolio#fuck guys i'm so so so nervous from big changes in life because uM god i just came from actual hell with various things working to make me#kms#but uH we're uH not too keen on that anymore atm and uH it's probably going to all fuck up after i share that i have good news in life#but yk what#let's keep challenging god#i know he hates me#but we will not be defeated we will strangle him by the tie#AHHHH help me i want to get into music again pls pls pls pls pls#anyway back to my old band manager#she was known for being a shitwad in the scene anyw but i was young and stupid as i sais#and i defended her and rationalized her behavior because “we're friends right”#i'm starting to get why my mom is wary of people i get to know#i'm tbh a fucking idiot i would never admit that elsewhere (nah i do) uM my brain is bouncing off the walls#i took a bargain with 7pm coffee and look where it got me#i was also getting up there in my 5 days of uni absences agsgshags#DOES ANYONE ACTUALLY READ THESE I KINDA HOPE NOW NO ONE DOES#IM KINDA UHHH MY CHILD THERAPIST SAID UNCONVENTIONAL#I THINK SHE MEANT FUCKING CRAZY#sorry#oh yeah i walked tf out the band after that big performance set up just for us because i couldn't keep working with that kind of environment#other bands started flocking to recruit or proxy after i was let go by my famously fucked-up ex-manager LOL#but um i have issues so i'm not among them and i think they get the message tbh#appears and disappears#that is actually my brand
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"Henry cares for Faran. The Liars normally have to be the ones caring for others. It just makes me melt!" - Zaria on Twitter about Henry(x)
#pretty little liars: original sin#pll: original sin#henry nelson#ben tyler cook#look i know people don't like him but ME do#i know he wasn't the best boyfriend in summer school but he was trying!!!#he does have an issue with boundaries/oversharing/nosiness but i feel like that's a fairly normal issue(he needs to work on it)#maybe i just like ben tyler cook...#i don't even post many gifsets for male characters yet here i am defending him#also could be because he gives me strong lucas beattie/lucas gottesman vibes and i remember really liking him with hanna(until some point)#him getting upset at her for being mean to kelly kinda reminded me of lucas with hanna about kate in the books iirc? but i'd need to reread#pllosedit#henrynelsonedit#bentylercookedit#bencookedit#i honestly would be happy to have him back next season as faran's friend but idk how likely that is tbh#just a dorky romantic sorta dude with a strong moral compass and a heart of gold :p#i would LOVE to know who they were gonna cast if they kept henry as asian-american#i think he also reminds me a little of holden? i also liked him too#pretty little liars: summer school#pll summer school#pllssedit#honestly wish they would stop straightening ben's hair i love his little waves/curls and the messiness... i mean gif 9? what a cutie#if ben himself ever talks about henry i will replace the quote#honestly henry probably gave faran issues by saying ''i love you'' but then wouldn't leave the c*lt for her...#but also she didn't say it back? she honestly didn't have to if she wasn't feeling it but idk maybe it hurt him and that's why he wouldn't?#if i'm being honest though FUCk that c*lt storyline... that was just for shock value and not even GOOD shock value#i truly believe he acts impulsively when he feels like someone will be hurt or is hurting#i wonder if he was working on illinoise and that's why he wasn't upped to a series regular?#sir don't join a c*lt... go to therapy!!! pls i BEg
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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I try my damn near hardest to avoid shipcourse on this blog. However, I have so many qualms with the anti side of things that I need to say something.
If your first inclination after seeing someone explore fiction is to call them a pedophile (as an insult, no less!), abuse enabler, and/or urge your followers to mass report them, you are a problem. Maybe it's because I grew up during the golden days of fandoms, where ship and let ship was the norm and not whatever this shit is, but it's bizarre to see people get cancelled for being a proshipper. I just don't have it in me to care about what people do to that fictional child. It's none of my business.
I've noticed a trend from antis of anything: anti radqueers, antishippers, anti hazbin/helluva etc, and it is that their arguments are extremely self centered. 'It's romanticizing MY abuse/trauma/condition!' as if that stranger on the other side of the screen couldn't possibly have similar trauma etc and copes with it differently. "It triggers ME!" then don't actively seek out that material and get mad at the creator. It's a 'me! me! me!' mindset.
See, me personally? I don't care if someone makes and romanticizes a fic that capitalizes on my trauma. I don't care what reason they have, either; whether it's to cope with their own trauma or to simply have fun, I do not care. No amount of harassment from a bunch of teenagers can change the fact that I don't care, and the fact that there are others OLDER THAN ME, someone who will be 19 in July, who condone and enforce anti views is terrible.
Creative freedom shouldn't even be a debate or discourse situation. People need to grow the hell up and get over themselves.
#I cannot make it any more obvious that I'm at least proship adjacent tbh. but it's fine#because like I said I try to avoid this wack ass topic as much as possible. There are absolutely abysmal takes from both sides#and I don't want to actively align with proshippers lest some 15 year old tells their followers to mass report me for having#a different opinion than them.#but this IS a proship safe blog. Antis are allowed too as long as they aren't fucking obnoxious.#I am admittedly uncomfortable with antis because of what I've seen from that side#all the puritan bullshit and harassment enabling#but again I know there are people who are antis and not obnoxious. maybe they even have the skills of nuance and sense.#and in that case I don't see the point in barring them from this blog that has nothing to do with shipcourse#I COULD go 'ough antis DNI!!!' and be insufferable but why should I?#as long as you aren't the type to send death threats and brigades after people you disagree with your alignment in shipcourse is irrelevant#proship#proshipper safe#proshippers are welcome#shipcourse
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