#tbh after 2 years ya just kinda want to get it done and out of the way

[sol-lar-bink]

2 whole years later I finally finish this piece with my Uxiesona lmao. Like almost on the dot, May 3rd 2022 was when I sketched this.

In the hotter months he likes to sleep with an open window- as long as the weather forecast allows.

[thineferalrats]

NSFW alphabet///Vander

Warnings: nsfw content (MDNI 🔞)

I havnt spell checked this yet.

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A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He is DEFINITELY a aftercare guy, making sure your taken care, he’s a busy man so the aftercare sometimes is not as long as he would want it to be sometimes but he douse what he can, even if it’s just words of affirmation or a-lot of kisses and hugs after a quicky (if tho they don’t happen often cuz he really douse not care for them) but when he douse have time he WILL cuddle you all night and kiss you, and tell you how amazing it was, and remind you how gorgeous you are. Definitely keep the praise up even after everything is done.

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself I think we can all agree his arms, or his hair, I feel he’s very proud of his hair being nice and full for his age ya know.

Now ok his partner, no one can tell me he is not a tittie guy, size is not really the thing but he definitely would not mind barring his head in some nice big tits (who wouldn’t) or maybe even a thigh kinda guy, but I also feel like his like non sexual favorite part would be your face, or more specifically your smile seeing you laugh or smile is one of the best sights on earth in his opinion

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)  

Creampies. All that needs to be said. I feel like in the beginning of y’all’s relationship he would use a condom but once he’s comfort with you, your gonna need some birth control or be ready for kiddo number 5, but if birth control is not a option he would understand and use protection or pull out. Also hear me out I feel like he Definitely gets off when you give him head and shallow it ya know.

D: Dirty Secret

Definitely thought about either 1. Fucking you as hard as humanly possible In an ally way, (especially when you tease him when walking home) or 2. Bending you over the bar and pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow, with or without people but these are just fantasy’s he probably won’t act on since he don’t wanna get caught in a ally by someone he knows or worse the kids and the bar one would just get him in trouble but then again tease him enough and the first one might just seem just reasonable enough

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he definitely knows what he’s doing, he’s been alive for 45 years so he’s definitely picked up a thing or two from his very eventful youth, he definitely knows how to eat you out to the point your nails are engraving scratch marks on the wooden beside table, now he douse not really know much about the well kinkyer side of thing but knows the basics and some other small things and is good at it definitely

F: Favorite Position

Now he’s not a complete vanilla person but this man loves some good old missionary lets me honest, he likes being able to see your face and have access to your clit to. But I also feel like he enjoys Cowgirl to so we can see all the expressions you make. I feel like he wouldn’t mind doggystyle either tbh, on your side to when y’all wake up or something to.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

If something funny happens like you falling off the bed he’s gonna laugh but also ask if your ok why laughing, he’s a very humorous dude ya know

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Man douse his best but he douse not get much time to shave with 4 kids running around causing mayhem everywhere they go. I feel like to be honest he really don’t care to shave unless it gets bad. Now if it bothered you or something he definitely do his best to shave as often as he had time to

I: Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s a really intimate guy, loves telling you how gorgeous you are but also don’t get me wrong the second you where to ask him “faster or harder” he would go FERAL cuz I feel like he definitely holds back because he douse not wanna hurt you or anything but he douse enjoy a nice and easy intimate time with you. I feel like he secretly has no patience, but he has grown to have some because of the kids and stuff.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He most definitely used to, but I feel like now he douse it like non to very little, mainly cuz of the kids but when you came into his life he felt no need to. Cuz he’d rather have you then his own hand, the only way I could see this man doing it is if he’s had a really long day and your asleep when he comes to bed and he needs to blow off some steam or something.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)  

I think everyone has agreed this man has a breeding kink which as you see now explains why I said what I did before hand about the creampies. Bro has a bondage kink, (both ways), definitely douse not mind putting his hand around your neck but he would really wanna squeeze or anything cuz he douse not wanna hurt you in any way. Anyway No one can argue with these, Size kink and overstimulation (both ways) and marking for sure but would help you hide the marks if you wanted to

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

His bedroom. Other places are to Risky for his liking, he douse not want the kids walking in on anything, now it’s not his favorite but if it called for it and he couldn’t make it to the bedroom and yall having sexual tension up to the sky and the bar is closed and the kids are asleep, The bar but the doors are being locked and clothes won’t come completely off.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Let’s be honest here man has a high sex drive but don’t ever admit it, cuz really all it takes is you giving him a decent view or sneaky kisses, or even just whispering something in his ear, but he has the some insane willpower and will wait till y’all are alone, I also feel like being confidant would get him going like you helping him behind the bar and when no one’s paying attention whisper how badly you want him and then walk away or act like you’ve said nothing.

A good way tho to get railed into the mattress is small teasing all through the day running your hands in his hair that or a very sneak brush against his crotch, like moving by him and pressing your ass into him or something, but making it seem innocent but he’s knows it was on purpose cuz he’s smart he’ll figure it out,

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything like really kinky or rough like slapping punching and he’s definitely against knife play won’t go near it, I mean he don’t mind being rough with you when railing you, but anything thst would hurt you just no

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He really enjoys eating you out let’s be honest tho, he loves sees your head go back and your back arch off the bed (or bar) when your about to finish, he loves when your thighs squeeze around his face to be honest

But with that I wanna say he definitely loves when you give him head let’s be honest, as I said before this ties in, but like he definitely likes it, being able to grab your hair and mouth fuck you is chefs kiss for him

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I feel like at first he would be gental but the longer y’all are doing it the faster that man is getting intell he reaches absolute feral, definitely would have to bite something or have your mouth covered near the end

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not a fan, he’s a very romantic and he really can’t be romantic or anything with quickies, he would much rather take his time with you, but if you have been teasing him all day and he knows he’s not gonna get the time in a good minute to fuck you into the mattress, he’ll settle for a quickie in the storage room with the door locked

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not really a risky person because again he douse not want the kids walking in on anything. Now before the kids he was a very risky and an experimental person. But has calmed down ALOT now that the kids are in his life and you. I feel like he’s still a little experimental, he’s willing to try anything with in reason that you wanna try

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

He has ALOT of stamina, u can’t tell me don’t, bro was a one man army. He can definitely go 3-4 rounds or 5 if the rounds are not long, but he definitely prefers to draw them out for awhile, he will make you finish more then he douse, like bro will finish idk 3 or 4 times in the end and you’ll finish like 5 times now this is if y’all have the time, this is another reason he’s not a fan of quickies, now In his younger years I feel like he definitely hade quickies and maybe even some one night stands.

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I feel like he’s not a big fan of them cuz he feels if a toy can do it so can he, but if there was a toy you wanted to use or try he wouldn’t be against it as long as it’s not to extreme, I feel like he definitely wouldn’t mind vibrators tho, using a small one on your clit why fucking you, he could approve of because really the better you feel the better he feels (he’s such a service top),

now toys for him I feel like he’s not a big fan of cuz for him your enough and he has no interest or need for them.

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

I feel like he definitely will tease you, whisper in your ear or give you a sneaky kiss the on the neck or slap on the ass. He definitely douse not mind you teasing him back just as long as it’s not obvious and you do it sneakily, definitely if there’s no one around he will reach put his hands up your shirt or down your pants but only for a second and then go back to whatever he was doing.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he’s not a extremely vocal during it but that’s just because of this kids I feel like if your alone and no one’s in the house he’d definitely make some decent noise, I feel like he mainly just likes hearing you noises you make, definitely would encourage your noises if your home alone but if there’s kids home he’d cover your mouth or give you something to bite (even if it’s himself)

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He definitely would not mind being a bottom and letting you be in control sometimes as long as you know what your doing and you feel good, since he’s always been the one in charge of everything I feel like he’d enjoy a break from it and letting someone boss him around a bit would be a good break for him, definitely feel like he would blush and crumble if you called him a good boy and praised him. Plus this ties in with him liking cowgirl definitely.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)  

Just DAM, bro is a big man so he definitely is at least packing a good 9 inch’s (or more) feel like girth is just a 10/10 to lets be honest.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

As I said before man has a higher sex drive then he would probably like, one look from you and he’d wanna go feral. I feel like if he had a partner that was the same way there would be a decent amount of sexy time

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

He’s a dad what do ya think, he can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, he’d make sure your ok and comfortable first tho before even thinking about falling asleep, and would cuddle you. He’d be very easy to wake up tho if you needed something tho, but i definitely feel like it depends on how tired he is before yall even did anything.

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A/n- JESUS this took longer then i expected I would have made them longer if i had the time and I might add on to them later on.

Hope yall liked itttttt 💕💕💕💕



[enluv]

The Wedding Date

PAIRING! - jay park x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS! - When invited to her younger sisters wedding in two weeks, Y/N L/N faces traveling alone back to Korea for the ceremony. While this seems bad enough, Heeseung, the man who left her with no explanation after four years of dating, happens to be the groom's best man. Determined to show everyone - most of all Heeseung - that her romantic life is as full and thrilling as ever, Y/N hires the ever so charming Jay Park as her date.

word count: 7.4K+!

warnings: angst, suggestive content - it’s implied and mentioned that reader & jay did the devils tango so please note this fic is16+ BUT it’s nothing crazy so just be warned, profanity, cheating, heeseung is super duper not cool in this tbh, lmk if I missed anything !!

genre(s): 16+!! - there are no descriptions of sexual acts but it is stated briefly so read at your own risk, rom-com, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, rent-a-boyfriend, & also slow burn romance but fast paced story

coco’s love note: this story is based on and inspired by the movie “the wedding date” some parts will be similar and depict similar instances while some will be different to fit the characters and the plots I’m writing for them! thank you so much & enjoy! (remember feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3)

"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Park Sunghoon and L/N Soohee to celebrate their marriage this June 30th at three o'clock.”

The words on the wedding invitation make your eyes roll, it’s laughable. Knowing neither of you had talked in almost two years it was a wonder why Soohee had chosen to invite you to her wedding. Perhaps it was your mother, she'd always wanted her two girls to get along at some point, but that was easier said then done. Or maybe it was your stepfather? He'd always said you were his favorite, maybe he'd somehow convinced her to invite you. Attending the wedding wasn't what worried you the most though, it was the thought of showing up alone.

Sure you could show up flying solo and hope no one would bat an eye, but did you really want to put yourself through that? The millions of whispers thrown at you as you walk by with no one on your arm? Absolutely not.

That's what brings you here, on a hot summers day as you read the morning paper from the patio of your home. The ads all consist of different services, some are posted for models, some plumbers, even things like babysitting, but you're on the hunt for one thing and soon enough an ad catches your eye. It’s perfect. The ad reads -

"Rent-A-Boyfriend: Are you in need of a date? Want to keep your parents off your back? Need to brag to your friends? Have to keep the relatives at bay? Well look no further! Hire me, Jay Park, profesional boyfriend. I can be anything you need me to be for any occasion! Shoot me a text at XXX-XXX-XXXX or email me at jay.park@gmail.com! Business inquiries only. Excited to date you soon!”

The ad had done its job and quickly enough you'd left Jay exactly seven different voice messages.

— YOU HAVE SEVEN VOICE MESSAGES, TO LISTEN: PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (9:17 PM):

"Errmmm...oh! It’s recording haha. Hello! This is Y/N L/N, umm so basically...oh um sorry I am so nervous haha. Okay so basically my name is Y/N and I need a date for my sisters wedding this month. Normally I'd have a date by now but I don't have the time to go out and date someone for two weeks and then force them to go to Korea with me ya know? So that's where I was hoping you'd come in! Oh shoot my time is running out...ummm okay give me a seco-"

VOICE MESSAGE #2 (9:23 PM):

"OH! HI! Sorry it cut me off last time haha oopsie! Anyways so basically the reason I need a date is because well basically I have this ex boyfriend his name is Heeseung and he kinda sorta dumped me like out of nowhere about two years ago. It was super sad but I was just like eh whatever dude. Then I came here to America haha not a good idea, anyways so yeah and he's gonna also be at that wedding because his best friend is actually the groom which makes him the best man and I can't-"

VOICE MESSAGE #3 (9:34 PM)

"Sorry cut off again but I can't show up alone it would be so embarrassing and we were engaged too by the way I don't know if I mentioned that already but yeah we dated for almost four years and he proposed to me and then boom just ended it so that's why I cannot by any means show up alone. Plus this is my baby sister that’s even more embarrassing, my younger sister getting married before me? Total loser moment."

VOICE MESSAGE #4 (10:45 PM):

"Sorry I forgot to give you details about the wedding lolz. It'll be in Korea, the countryside to be specific. It's on June 30th at 3pm at a wedding Chapel in the town we grew up in. We have to be there a week before. No worries though, l'II pay for our plane tickets. Since I'm the sister of the bride I have to do a lot of things with the bridal party and since you'll be my boyfriend you'd be doing things with the groomsmen. Sorry if that's too soon for you or if it doesn't work with your schedule, I'll pay you double I swear! I just really need this, need your help Jay."

VOICE MESSAGE #5 (11:38 PM):

"Um hi again, this'll be quick I promise. I just wanted you to know that if you can't do this it's okay! Thank you for your time. I really appreciate you.”

VOICE MESSAGE #6 (12:49 AM):

"Oh shit sorry this was an accidental dial. Have a good night haha! Sorry again!”

VOICE MESSAGE #7 (1:23 AM):

"Just give me a call back at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you do want to take the job and if not, no worries! I completely understand how last minute this may be. Have a good night Jay, sweet dreams."

— YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICE MESSAGE: TO LISTEN PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (3:45 PM):

"Hey Y/N, this is Jay. I got your messages...all seven of them. No worries, I'd be happy to play your boyfriend at your sisters wedding, and about your ex, don’t even worry about him, we'll make sure he regrets his decision to ever leave you. You said we leave next week? Just send me the plane ticket and I'll be on that flight. See you soon Y/N, and don't worry too much, you've got this."

“Woah! Hottie in aisle three am I right?!”

“What are you talking about Sunoo, stop staring at the people riding our planes. It’s a long way back to Korea they don’t need you ogling them for all ten hours.”

“Excuse me but did you not say you’re waiting for your rent-a-boyfriend? Babes I think that’s him.” Sunoo points his perfectly manicured finger towards aisle three where a man dressed in black slacks and a white button up sits comfortably flipping through a book. His head turns up as he feels your eyes on him and a smile flashes across his face.

“Alright, go meet your hunk and sit down, we’re taking off soon anyway.”

You begrudgingly take a seat in front of him, if you’d known he’d be this attractive you’d definitely not have hired him.

“Are you Y/N L/N? Or am I completely wrong and making a fool out of myself?”

His voice is sweet, soft and husky, you turn slightly to face him and meet his soft eyes. No judgement is seen on his face.

“Hi! Yes I am Y/N, I’m assuming you’re Jay? Well you probably are haha, because I got you the seat behind me…okay so anyways hello!”

He laughs softly and nods his head, “Get some rest Y/N, we have a long week ahead of us. When we land let’s go find you a dress and talk business, that okay with you?” Your nod of confirmation has you both relaxed as you turn back around to do just as he said.

“How does this one look?”

“I think you look great in it, remember you’re beautiful and you’ve got a lot going for you. He’s gonna regret ever breaking up with you.”

“Ugh I can’t do it, I need to look good so no one asks me any kinds of questions!”

“Y/N I think you’re overthinking this a bit, just go with whichever dress makes you feel the most beautiful.”

“I think you look the best in the red one, uh personally speaking.” Jay eyes the boy cleaning the other dressing rooms and nods with a tight lipped smile.

“Hmm thanks kids, I’ll keep that in mind.” Pushing back in your eyes fall onto the hanging red dress.

“Alright so let’s talk business, we need a story. You’re the new temp at my job and we just started dating, let’s just say four months ago. You’re crazy about me and I asked you out because surprise surprise I’m also crazy about you too.”

He nods and gets up to leave the room but right as his hand reaches the doorknob you pull him back, closing the dressing room door.

“Here,” you shove an envelope into his hands, “count it. It’s six thousand even.”

Jay takes the envelope and begins putting it into his pocket but you insist he counts the money, he does so with an amused smile flashing across his face.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll pay for the expenses but if you ever want a piece of this,” he gestures to himself playfully, “we gotta talk money before anything happens.” Your scoff makes him chuckle, he’d only been kidding, he’d most definitely let you have him for free if you asked.

Jay takes in the venue of your sisters engagement party. It’s big enough to host more than fifty people, and it’s doing the job pretty well. He can tell you have a big family. From what you’d mentioned, your mom was Korean but moved to America for school and originally met your dad their but when he was out the picture she met your stepfather and the rest was history. Now your little sister, presumably the petite brunette eyeing you both now, was getting married to someone you’d both grown up with and his best man was you ex. Jay thinks your ex is a dumbass but he’s held his tongue on that thought knowing you’d probably get upset with him.

While he’d only known you for a few hours tops (not including your plane ride) he knew you were a kind person. You’d rambled to him about how you and your sister hadn’t spoke in two years yet here you were back at home to spend her wedding with her. He found it odd how you said yes to joining her bridal party activities but chose not to question you. He never understood sibling love much.

He watches as your sister runs towards you pulling you into a big hug, her smile never quite reaching her eyes but you’d never pick up on it if you weren’t paying close attention. He takes a note to ask you later why you two haven’t spoken in so long, but before he can gather his thoughts her voice breaks him out of it.

“So Y/N, who’s this? He’s cute…” her voice trails off and makes Jay internally cringe, it’s obvious she wants a reaction out of you.

He watches as you calmly turn towards him, resting an arm on his as you say, “This is Jay, he’s my boyfriend of four months. I decided I would take you up on that plus one offer!”

Momentarily your sisters eyes flash with what seems to be jealousy or maybe sadness, Jay can’t tell but he knows she looks anything but happy which is odd for someone about to marry the love of their life.

“Wow that’s great! How’d you two meet?”

“We met at work. I thought she was the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen in my life so I told her. She asked me out right after and the rest is history.” He pulls you closer and pecks your temple once he’s done answering. He knows just how to push buttons, especially with people like your sister.

At that very moment Park Sunghoon, your childhood best friend and sisters fiancé walks over pulling Soohee into a sloppy kiss, Jay notes he seems tipsy and excited about something. He watches your sisters demeanor change in an instant the minute Sunghoon walks over.

“Woah Y/N it’s been too long, I’ve missed my best friend, you have to visit more often seriously.”

“Oh I’m Park Sunghoon, Soohee’s fiancé and Y/N’s friend, we haven’t met before but I’m happy to see Y/N has someone to put a smile on her face.” His smile is captivating and contagious. Sunghoon seems like a nice enough guy in Jay’s eyes.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Jay leans over and offers a hand. “I’m Jay, Y/N’s boyfriend. She told me you invited me to join in on the groomsmen activities, thanks a lot I’m excited.”

“Of course! Any friend of hers is a friend of mine. Let me get your number and I’ll add you to the groupchat, we start soon so just be ready.” With the promise to text soon Sunghoon and Soohee are quickly whisked away leaving Jay with Y/N.

“Your sister seems…nice…”

Y/N can’t hide her laugh as she straightens her dress out, “Mhm love her to death but she can be a lot, now if you’ll excuse me I need to pee, I’ve had way too many drinks! Wait for me here.”

When exiting the bathroom you never thought you’d run into Lee Heeseung here of all places. It seemed as if lady luck was anywhere but on your side, as you watch him emerge from the door next to the same one you’d just came out of, his eyes grow wide as he spots you, quickly making his way towards you.

“Holy shit, Y/N! I was hoping I would see you here! You look beautiful as always.”

Your hearts beats as you look up towards him. It’d been almost a year since you’d last saw Lee Heeseung. He’d broken your heart in all of five minutes over the phone after spending a week in America with you. It was heart wrenching and soul crushing but you’d healed…or so you thought. Seeing Heeseung again was like ripping off a bandaid on a newly fresh wound. Heart begging to be held by him once more you knew immediately you had to find a way away from him and fast.

Thankfully just as you’d pulled away from his arms up ran your old friend Karina. She’d been someone you’d hung out with in high school and always called you up whenever you visited Seoul. Her squeals of excitement and hands pulling you into a hug helped with the longing to be next to Heeseung again. She looked towards him with hostility and popped the question right there in front of him.

“Y/N I’ve missed you so much! AH! Who’s the hottie you brought with you? Rumor has it he’s your new boyfriend…you tell me though, wanna hear it straight from the source herself.”

At this Heeseung’s head perks up from his previous gaze at the floor. He’s expecting to hear an answer, it’s obvious in the way his eyes stay on you.

“Oh. Um yeah. He’s actually my boyfriend. His name is Jay and we met at work. He’s the sweetest, you have to meet him! I’ll introduce you two soon.” Once again Karina’s squeals fill the air and Heeseung waves goodbye as she tugs you towards where Jay stands surrounded by your aunties. They seem to be enjoying the compliments he throws at them and you laugh quietly as you listen in on his conversations with them.

Jay watches as you stop to talk to someone by the doors of the bathroom, he contemplates walking over to you but decides to stop himself. He isn’t here to protect you, you can do that all on your own, he’s just here to provide some comfort in a stressful situation. His peaceful time of watching you is quickly interrupted when your aunties come over and preoccupy him. He’s done this before and is quick to play the best boyfriend he can be.

As soon as you walk over you’re pulled away by your aunties (much to his dismay) so Jay sets off to find something to keep himself busy. He soon spots the same man you were talking to earlier out on the balcony alone and decides to talk to him, he seems upset, might as well do something while you’re gone.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jay asks walking over swiftly to the man and smiling down at him.

“Oh. Uh. I guess it can’t get any worse than this. There’s this girl who I care about a lot,” he pauses to look back inside and Jay follows his gazes to where you sit with your sister and friend from before and his mind begins to turn, “I guess you could say I love her but of course with my luck, she’s here with some other guy.”

Jay lets out a low whistle and begins to talk but before he can process the situation you’re asking him if he’s okay and giving him a kiss on the lips, it leaves him dazed.

“Hey Y/N.” Heeseung says once quietly.

“Hey Y/N.” He repeats, this time louder than before.

Jay has a sudden realization as he looks back up at Heeseung, this is your ex, the same ex who broke your heart and the reason you hired him to be here.

“Oh hey Hee! Jay, this is Heeseung, he’s my ex.”

“Ah that’s why you looked a bit familiar.”

“What were you two talking about?”

“We were just-” Heeseung begins to talk but Jay cuts him off.

“I was telling him how we met.”

Heeseung nods frantically and stands tall again, he nervously grabs his cup and smiles, “I should head back inside, I’ll see you two later.”

“Did you see his face? Omg he looked so freaked out!”

“Mhm, and he told me he’s still head over heels in love with a girl he cares about a lot.”

Y/N’s bright smile bubbled up a feeling in Jay’s chest, but he shook it off as quickly as it came.

“Let’s get going pretty girl, I still need to meet your parents.”

Your house is huge, and yeah sure Jay is used to big houses, he grew up comfortably so houses around him were on the bigger side, but this house - your house is massive. He’s in awe as you stumble threw the front door hand in hand. A woman who looks just like you approaches speaking so quickly that Jay misses her question, but thankfully you’re quick to answer it.

“Hi mom. This is Jay,” a silent pause ensues after you reveal who he is to her.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Jay, sorry we don’t have a spare room for you. We weren’t exactly expecting you, Y/N has never really brought you up.” Jay can tell immediately who your sister takes after.

“No worries ma’am, I can just stay with Y/N.”

“Oh sorry my mom has this thing against boys sleeping with girl-”

Your mothers scoff cuts you off, her head shaking slowly, “Nonsense Y/N, you’re an adult. I know you two sleep together it’s normal, he’ll stay with you.”

You nod back at her wide eyed, and just as you’re about to speak a man pops up next to your mother, this time Jay does know who he is. Your lock-screen holds a picture of you two at a concert and you’d pointed out exactly who your stepfather was to him immediately. He waves a quick hello at Jay and pecks your temple, but he’s quick to whisks your mother away sending you a wink. Once you’ve made it to your room it’s almost midnight and both of you are exhausted from traveling and the party.

“Y/N, I’m gonna go ahead and shower, could you hand me my shampoo? I forgot to grab it and I’m already in.”

“Huh? Oh! Shampoo right…yeah of course I’ll get it right now.” Trudging over to Jay was easy, avoiding looking at the almost see-through shower curtain covering him was completely different. He smiles once you hand over the shampoo and goes back to humming along to a song stuck in his head.

“Hey Jay, what’s your story, like how did you get into rent-a-boyfriend?” You ask him taking a seat on the lid of the toilet.

“Well I’m an only child and my parents where always busy, grew up with very little friends and I was very protected at that. I like to think I was the weird kid who ate glue…anyways once I got my much needed glow up I didn’t know what to do with myself so I just started messing around. Clubbing, drinking, sex, all of that you know. Anyways my friend Jake found rent-a-boyfriend,” he steps out of the shower and stands directly in front of you, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, “and the rest is history.” He sends you a smirk before reaching for his phone sitting next to you on the counter, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest.

“Whatever, so what you just agreed to be a fake boyfriend like that?”

“Mhm, I trust Jake with my life he’s my best friend, dude would never sign me up for something that he knew I’d hate. Now come on it’s time for bed.”

The next day wedding activities start quickly, your sister has a day planned full for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Things ranging from kickball (which Jay seems to be very good at and just so happens to beat Heeseung’s team in) to separate bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Both parties go great, with both you and Jay enjoying yourselves equally, but if you’d asked the other you’d both say all you wanted to do was go back home and see each other. It was an odd realization knowing you’d feel better at home with Jay, a mere stranger in your eyes.

“Y/N! Ugh I’ve been looking all over for you! I missed you so much, you really suck for not visiting more. I know we’re half sisters but I love you!! I missed you so freaking much,” Soohee slurs her words into your ear as she pulls you into a suffocating hug. You nod uncomfortably and hug her back, patting her on the back as she signals the bartender for more drinks. Just from the way she stares at you, you know the night is going to be long.

On Jay’s end of things he’s forced to take home a very drunk Sunghoon, who now seems more like a friend then a stranger. Earlier he’d over heard Heeseung telling Sunghoon about how he didn’t trust him, and while normally Jay didn’t care much for how people saw him, Heeseung really irked him. Yet here he was now, helping his best friend stumble home after their night out.

“Don’t tell Heeseung I said this, but Y/N looks way more happy with you then she ever did with him. I mean don’t get me wrong he’s my best friend and I’d literally die for him but the way she smiles at you is so different from any way she’s ever looked at him. I heard you the other day, telling her she was strong and could face everyone again. I was standing next to the door you two were by, anyways yeah Heeseung would have never done that. I love that idiot to death but the second he decided to break things off with her was the second he lost a really great person. You’re lucky Jay, can you just please keep her happy?”

Jay nods at him and Sunghoon sends him a grin, he walks up the steps to his house and waves a final goodbye back to him. Sunghoon’s words play in Jay’s head like a turntable, were you really happy with him? Did he seriously make you happy? Giddiness spread through him as he made his way back to your home only a couple doors down, ready to see you for the night.

Walking back into your bedroom and seeing Jay laid out reading a book half naked was a sight you’d never get tired of. He looked up at you taking in your figure and smiled.

“How was your night pretty?” The low gruffness of his voice sent shivers down your spine as you walked closer, watching as he sat up to meet your eyes.

“Something on your mind?” He asks quietly taking your hands in his.

“I’m going to do something, and if you don’t want it just tell me no, okay?” Jay nods with curiosity in his eyes.

His eyes widen as you straddle his lap, kissing him softly. He wasn’t expecting that, but he’s not complaining, soon enough he’s kissing back and you’re both rushing to undress one another, Jay more than you.

The night ended far too quickly and as you wake up with a snug arm wrapped around you, the memories of last night come flooding back in. You’d had sex with Jay, your rented boyfriend for the week, but it seemed neither of you minded it much, both eager to be together last night. A smile forms across your face as you move to stand only to be stopped by his arm tightening around your waist.

You both stumble downstairs hand in hand, running into both your parents. Your father stares at you two and wishes you a good morning, but your mother seems to sense something is different with you both. She sets down her coffee mug and calls for your cook to make breakfast. Jay is quick to make you your morning tea. He remembers how much you hate coffee.

After the dance class your sister plans for both parties, you’re left walking around a park with Jay. He can sense something is off as you slip your hand away from his grasp.

“Y/N are you okay?”

“Do you regret last night?”

You both speak at the same time, laughing awkwardly as you gesture for one another to speak first.

“I don’t regret last night Y/N,” he pauses to grab your hand, “I actually enjoyed it very much.” His laugh fills the tension filled air between you two.

“Are you sure? I can seriously pay you if that’s what you want I mean-” a tug at your wrist stops you from finishing, Jay shakes his head at you.

“Y/N you’re a beautiful idiot,” he sighs pulling you closer, “I was joking about paying me, and if you must know I’ve never slept with a client, ever.”

“Then why did you sleep with me? Oh god did I take advantage of you in a drunken state? Oh my god Jay.”

“No you idiot, I did it because I’m attracted to you, and you’re attracted to me, we’re two consenting adults who find one another attractive so we acted on it, that’s all.”

You nod at his words, still not fully agreeing with him but there wasn’t any other explanation, you were attracted to him so just as he said, you’d acted on it, that was all.

You two spend the day getting to know one another even more, Jay tells you his likes and dislikes, mother and fathers name, how he met Jake, and more. You spend hours talking before falling asleep cuddled up on your bed, tomorrow you both had to be up early for Soohee’s final days of wedding activities, starting with a nice family get together at your parents lake house.

What happens the next day is not something Jay ever wanted to deal with. As he watches you twirl around with your friends and run through the field chasing Sunghoon surrounding the lake behind your parents house, his insides churn at the thought of what he just witnessed. Not even an hour before Jay had actually gotten your fathers approval, he sat him down and they talked for an hour, he’d told Jay the story of his first time being introduced to you as his wife’s daughter and immediately knowing you’d be someone special in his life. He recounted how not a day went by where he didn’t worry about you alone in America but when you had showed up with him, Jay, on your arm his worries dwindled at the loving looks Jay sent your way.

This was not fun anymore, the angel and devil perched on his shoulders were fighting over what to do with the information he’d learned. Either he tell you and hurt you, or he could keep it to himself and just pretend he never knew a thing. The latter sounded perfect in his mind.

“And well sometimes we find the best thing for us and you know that’s not the best thing for others, so you have to do what’s best for you as a person you know and so that’s why we as humans always pick what’s best for us, we’re pretty selfish if you think about it really.”

Looking anywhere but Heeseung you’d spotted Jay, he smiled and waved you over, quickly bidding Heeseung and his odd dialogue a goodbye you’d ran straight towards an awaiting Jay.

“You seem to be very popular today Mr.Park. First my dad and just now my mom? Something tells me they like you.”

His chuckle sends butterflies through your stomach, “Yeah they said they’re excited to welcome me to the family, something about you having a terrible ex who wasted your time for four years? Your moms words, not mine.”

“She hates his guts, glad she likes you though.”

He smiles leaning in to peck your lips, “Yeah I’m glad she likes me too, kinda plan on staying for a bit.”

“Hey lovebirds, we’re taking pictures, come here!”

The next day, is the day before the wedding and it’s just as packed as all the other days but this time it’s filled with anxiety, Soohee and Sunghoon are buzzing with anxious excitement, your parents are terrified for tomorrow and everyone is sitting anxiously awaiting to give their toast.

Soohee wanted a closed family rehearsal dinner so they’d decided today would be the day to do it.

Jay sits next to you with his left hand rubbing your thigh, he listens as your mother recounts how you and Soohee fought over a boy when you were in both in grade school, she theorizes that’s why you two have a hard time getting along. Everyone laughs at the stories spewing from both your parents, the atmosphere is almost perfect. Perfect however, does not exist within this realm of people.

“Hey babe, I’m gonna go get more wine, don’t miss me too much.” You whisper to Jay standing and walking off towards the wine cellar.

A pair of footsteps catches your attention and when you turn around you spot Heeseung.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“Heeseung, relax. It’s fine. I promise.”

“I just feel like I should tell you that, god this is so fucking hard.”

“Did you know, I actually brought Jay to make you jealous, to torture you for the week, but then I don’t know, something happened and now I’m just so freaking happy with him. He makes me so happy honestly, and if we’re being honest Hee, I am so tired of this, of me and you. I’m ready to move on for good so let’s just go back upstairs and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

The weight on your shoulders feels lifted, you’d been wanting to finally feel free from Heeseung for months now and finally you were able to do it. Finally you could be happy and be with-

“I slept with Soohee, Y/n. I slept with your sister and I think I’m in love with her. It was two years ago, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, that’s why I broke up with you, and then after we broke up we keep sleeping with each other for a few months. We stopped because of you, we knew it was wrong.”

“Can you please say something Y/N. Please just say anything please.” His pleas pierced your ears.

The wine cellar had begun to spin, the second he’d first told you, the room went dark and you couldn’t breathe properly. What the fuck just happened. Heeseung and Soohee slept together? He had cheated on you with your sister? He was in love with her.

Walking out the cellar Heeseung followed quickly behind, soon enough you’d made it back outside to the dinning area, Karina spotted you two and smiled wide but it soon dropped at your demeanor.

“Oh my god he told you didn’t he.”

“You knew?”

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“You sound just like him.”

“I promise it’s not like that Y/N-“

“Y/N?” Soohee’s voice pierces through the air around you and you know she knows what’s happening.

“Y/N please listen to me,” she tries resting her hand on your shoulder but you push her off, “Y/N please don’t say anything to Sunghoon. Please, I’m begging you.”

Strong arms pull you into them and you’re quick to hug him back. Jay feels like a breath of fresh air in the seemingly smog filled venue.

“I can’t believe you told her!” Soohee shouts as Jay stills in your arms and your world crashes all over again.

Jay watches as you take a step away from him, pushing him towards the others who’d betrayed your trust. His heart aches at the look you send him, he knows he’s fucked up, he’s fucked up really bad.

He chases after you as you walk away from the venue, he needs to make things right.

After the talk with your dad, Jay realized he’d forgotten the sun hat you’d asked him to bring outside for you so he trudged back inside to grab it but loud arguing distracted him. Being the gentleman he was, Jake liked to call him that at least, he walked over to the room to see what was happening and standing before him he saw Soohee and Heeseung. The arguing continued as he stepped into view of them.

“I love you Soohee, I miss us, I miss you.”

“Heeseung no. I love Sunghoon, we slept together for a few months but that is all it ever was. I am getting married to Sunghoon, your best friend.”

“You don’t think I know that? It kills me to see you with him!”

Jay is left speechless, your ex Heeseung and your very own sister, had slept together. He had to get away from them both, now.

“Jay? How long have you been standing there.” Soohee’s voice broke him out his thoughts and when he looked back up Heeseung was gone.

“I don’t know what you heard but it’s in the past Jay, it’s not important anymore, please just stay out of it, it doesn’t involve you.” She pushes past him out the door he’s standing next to. Jay is left wondering what to do with the information he’s just been presented..

“You knew and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that to me Jay?”

“What did you want me to say? It’s harder than it seems Y/N.”

“You lied to me. But I guess I should have expected that since that’s what you do. That’s who you are Jay, you’re a liar.”

“Really Y/N? Should I remind you that you hired me. You hired me to be your boyfriend, you’re paying me.”

“You’re right. I paid six thousand dollars for a lie and in the end I’m the only one coming out a fucking fool.”

“Hate me all you want Y/N, but it’s time you get over this Heeseung thing, you’re dragging it out, maybe now though, once you move on from Heeseung, you can cry over our relationship long enough and let it ruin your next one too.”

“Y/N? I came to say thank you for not outing me to Sunghoon today. I’m going to tell him, I just don’t want to tell him the night before our wedding.”

“You’re smart Soohee, telling him after the wedding allows you to trap him, because you know the minute he finds out you fucked his best friend repeatedly behind his back he’ll want to leave, but he won’t be able to because he’s married to you.”

“Don’t worry Soohee, your wedding tomorrow will be perfect. I’ll smile for the camera and keep my mouth shut but after tomorrow I never want to see or speak to you again. I hope you have a happy marriage built on the lies you created. Sunghoon deserves better then you’ll ever be able to give him.” Soohee’s quiet sobs lessen as she leaves the room. Finally you had some peace.

The day of the wedding felt like a blur, you’d woken up early to get your hair and makeup done, smiling when needed and laughing at whatever the bridal party said. It felt like you were a shell of nothing in your own body. Soohee tossed glance after glance at you, looking away quickly when you’d catch her. She’d never been one to like when people were upset with her and you knew it was driving her crazy to not know what you were thinking. Truth be told at any moment you could call up Sunghoon and tell him the truth, but a voice of reason seemed to still be lingering in your mind and it made you hope she’d do the right thing, tell him before the wedding continued, yet so far it didn’t seem like she’d be doing that.

Everyone rushed around the wedding chapel to get things in order, photographers and other vendors Soohee had hired ran around finding their places to make sure the day went as planned but the nerves in her stomach just wouldn’t go away. The echo of your words rattled in her mind, would she really be trapping Sunghoon? She knew if it were her, she’d want an out. She cursed you in her head as she made the decision to do the right thing, he deserved to know at least. Hopefully he’d be able to forgive her, hopefully he still wanted her.

Jay thinks whatever god is looking down on him right now is probably laughing his ass off at his suffering. He knows he shouldn’t have snapped back at you, especially not with the state of mind you had been in. It fucking broke him to hear your sobs as he turned away from you. On top of all that, now he was just going to up and leave you. He’d bought a plane ticket back home last night after talking to Sunghoon. He didn’t spill any descriptive details, and had told him a less intense version of your fight. Sunghoon laughed in his face and told him he was just in love. Jay told him to fuck off and shut up.

As he drove down the roads of the rural Korean countryside, thoughts filled his mind. He brought the car to a stop and contemplated what to do. On one hand, he had a plane ticket and his suitcases packed to go back home right now but on the other, all he had to do was turn around, pray you’d forgive him, apologize, and admit that Sunghoon was right.

Pulling him from his thoughts was the man himself, speak of the devil and he shall appear apparently. Jay looked up to find Sunghoon chasing after a very scared looking Heeseung. Someone had finally told him then, that was good. He watched as Sunghoon tackled Heeseung and they rolled down a hill. Heeseung escaped and continued running, never looking back. Sunghoon on the other hand stopped to catch his breath, catching sight of Jay in his car. He waved him down and hopped into the seat next to him.

“I love Soohee, I really do. I’m going to forgive her, she said they slept together before we officially got together and it stopped once I asked her out. I just wanted to beat his ass because he hurt Y/N.”

Jay nodded as Sunghoon rambled on about how insane Heeseung was for ever doing what he did to you. He blamed them both but he could only poor his anger out on Heeseung right now.

“Do you think I’m crazy for taking her back? For still wanting to marry her?”

“No, you love her, anyone can see. I think she’s obviously sorry, she could have not told you and just made you marry her but she gave you a choice and came clean. When you love someone you have that kind of courage, and you let others dictate your life for you even if one of the outcomes could ruin you forever.” As Jay spoke aloud to Sunghoon reality set in, he needed to go back to you, to apologize for his mistakes, to show you he loved you and accepted you and anything you decided he was worthy of having.

“Looks like we’ve got a wedding to go back to then, and I’m out a best man so what do ya say?”

Jay smiled and nodded at Sunghoon.

“Hell yeah man, let’s go.”

Seeing you again felt surreal, it made Jay’s heart beat a million times per minute. You looked gorgeous in the bridesmaids dress Soohee had picked for you, your hair beautifully styled to perfectly match you. Jay had never felt this happy, he’d never felt so excited to do something.

As Sunghoon had ran past you, Jay jogged up to you, pulling you into a kiss, he’d been wanting to kiss you again for so long, he melted within the first second of it.

“God Y/N, you have no idea how fucking sorry I am, I love you and I should have told you about Heeseung and Soohee, I just couldn’t bring myself to break your heart. I never want to be the one to hurt you, I love you so damn much, I’d rather give you up then hurt you. I know it hasn’t been long but I feel like we’ve known each other for years. I want to take you on a date, a real one, and I want to be your boyfriend, your real boyfriend, not one you rented for a week, and I need you to know that I’ll take anything you want to give me, I didn’t mean what I said yesterday, you didn’t ruin anything. Hell I’m the one ruining things. I just need you to know I care about you.”

“I realized today that I could never do what I did without you this past week. You are quite literally the best fake boyfriend anyone could ask for. I want to have you to myself Jay, don’t want to share you with anyone else, I’m done sharing. I want you to be mine, but really mine, not for a week, for a lifetime.”

“Glad we’re on the same page beautiful. We can talk more when we have the time but right now we have to head inside, I’m sorta the best man.”

Epilogue

Jay has you pressed against his kitchen counter attacking your neck when banging on his apartment door brings you both out of the lovestruck trance you’re currently in.

“Open up you fucker!”

Jay rolls his eyes at the voice clearly recognizing it immediately, but as he goes to open the door it flies open, hitting the back wall.

“Why’d you quit rent-a-boyfriend? Bro you were literally number one! I know I said I wanted to steal it from you but I didn’t mean that way idiot.”

“You can ask her why I deleted it.” He replies, pointing towards your direction.

Now standing and properly dressed, you wave at the man before you, he seems just as confused as you are.

“Pretty girl, this is my best friend Jake, and Jake this is my girlfriend Y/N.” A smile spreads across Jake’s face and he’s quick to pull you into a hug.

“Oh dude! You should have just said that! I see why now, what a dog! She’s way to pretty for you by the way.”

“Thanks Jake, I know I am but he’s a good kisser so I keep him around.”

“I like her already! Wanna go get some lunch? On me of course to celebrate you finding a girl who actually likes you and isn’t paying you to date her.”

“Deal, but just so you know, I did pay him to date me. Not anymore though.”

Jake’s mouth hangs open as you walk past him to grab your shoes, he’s astonished that someone as gorgeous as you needed to pay for a date. Jay sends him a look and promises to explain at lunch as he chases after you.

Jake would never admit it out loud but he’s happy Jay’s finally found someone to make him happy and the smile on your faces just shows him how right you are for one another.

Three years later he’s proven right as he opens up the envelope addressed to him. It’s an invitation that reads –

“You are happily invited to the wedding of Jay Park and Y/N L/N on the 31st of October, at three o’clock. Please join them for this amazing celebration!”

coco’s love note: ahhh and that’s a wrap on the wedding date! I really hope you all enjoyed it, honestly it was really fun to write especially coming up with things to fit the characters I chose for this fic in specific :) it was hard making heeseung the bad ex but he was the perfect fit 😭 and i love jay being the ml like he’s perfect for rom-coms!! anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic and as always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3

[psychiatricwarfare]

Hello Hello I'm your friendly neighbourhood ghost and I am a collector of spooky tales, folklore, Urban legends, cryptids and spooky experiences and I was wondering if y'all want to share y'all favorite one??

Thank you and I hope y'all are having a blast

hello!! we absolutely would love to share!! we love a good spooky/strange story, and altho you only asked for one, we can't choose one favourite soo heres a few under the cut.. :3c

first we'll give ya a spooky one! it takes place shortly after i was born, barely talking yet, our childhood room had a closet that was connected to the attic. apparently only my dad went into the attic cus my mom & sister were too scared and we were an infant. but whenever my dad went into the attic, the windows would be open and he'd have to close them. then he'd go yell at our mom asking why she kept opening the windows, but she didnt. cus she was scared of the attic. so one day they were arguing about this in front of me & my dad said smth like "well then who's opening the windows, huh?".

& apparently (according to our parents) we point up at the ceiling to the attic and said "man". so ofc our parents were like huh?? so we did it again & ofc my parents were like 'oh shit we're haunted'. but the ghost wasnt actually like.. doing anything other than opening the windows so my dad just kept closing them and everyone kinda left him (the ghost man) alone.

then, out of nowhere, when we were like 3 years old ish, we would just start screaming and crying in the middle of the night. full-on hysterics about "the man in the attic". so our grandma flew in to come bless the house with sage (we assume) and free the spirit peacefully and respectfully. the only thing we actually remember from this whole story is her walking around the attic burning something and repeating stuff. we're told she also made my dad do it with her, not sure why she chose him tho tbh. anyways everythings been fine after that and ever since then whenever smth weird happened in the house we'd be like "welp, i guess the man's back"

second story isnt super spooky but it is weird. this one starts when we were maybe 4 or 5? we were at a paranormal sites tour on vacation, i know how this sounds but stick with us here, the tour guide said to take 2 pictures because you might not get the ghost in the first picture, but you might get it in the second. now im prettyy sure this is actually something to do with the flash and lens flares but, my mom, sister & i still did it and sure enough my sister got the pictures with & without a little orb! how fun! we save the pictures to a flash drive or something to look at for years to come.

years pass and we're all looking at the pictures (as we'd done many times before) and we get to the pictures from that tour and were like 'oh we should show dad' so my sister calls my dad in so he can see the two pictures, one with the orb and one without it. except this time when we're looking at them, neither one has an orb. and we sit there dumbstruck because we'd looked at them so many times and there was always an orb in the second picture. we still dunno how it just disappeared.. our dad was just sitting there like ".... 😑😐🤨 what are you showing me?" as the rest of us went through the 5 stages of grief trying to accept that the one time we thought to show him our ghostie picture, it stops existing :(

last one's gonna be our fav cryptid!! theyre called the fresno nightcrawlers!!!! theyre super cute little dudes that were originally sighted in fresno, california (as per their name) but they usually show up in the US :3 they also showed up once in poland they usually appear in twos, one bigger one and one smaller one, but not always. they're very cute lil guys just look at them

theyre grey/white creatures with long legs with no arms or torsos, if you look closely, their knee bends where a human shin would be, so that rules out a person in a costume because their legs are too long with far too low knees to be a human. theyre known to be small (4'11/1.5m), but one sighting claims it was 7ft/2m~. perhaps the smaller ones seen are children?? from the footage we've seen, the smaller ones never seem to be sighted without a taller one. however, the taller ones have been sighted alone.

look at how cute this lil guy is!! this is from the first ever sighting of them, definitely check out the video we linked to watch it walk around

the person who posted it also embossed the video to prove there are no wires or anything, and in the screenshot above you can kinda see the lil guy and eyes potentially?? theyre kinda hard to see so we raised the contrast n such

some people think theyre puppets with strings and have tried to recreate them, which does seem to be incredibly difficult. the wiki (linked above) has the documentary where somebody tries to debunk them along with all the sightings & hoaxes. theyre funky lil dudes and since it harms nobody and affects nothing, we choose to believe theyre real :3

[eboshishusbandwinkwink]

Stranger things young adults reacting...

... to their lover having an eating disorder (Pt. 2)

!!! Minors DNI !!!

Tw: mention of eating disorder, talk about bullying and insecurities, unhealthy habits

Also, nsfw warning for Argyle bc he gonna show ya some sweet loving. Tho I'm not gonna write down all of it.

Characters: Robin Buckley, Billy Hargrove, Chrissy Cunningham, Argyle (he could be read as trans reader tbh)

Pt. 1:

A/n: I'm calling Max mom Mrs Mayfield bc I legit forgot her name so... ignore that

@jolinghkf Robin up first just for you, my friend. I hope you enjoy it.

----------------------------

Robin Buckley

• As we Germans say "Schock schwere Not."

• She's not upset, but boy she's worried

• You're crying? She'll hug you, care gor you, tell you you're beautiful again and again and again and- fifty years later - again and again. Until you get it :<

• Makes sure you eat at least enough to get through the day once she finds out

"Are you excited?", Robin asked as she looked at you with a wide grin. The clip in her hair held the bangs she had out of her face, which showed you all of her face.

The jeans she wore fit perfectly with her white shirt, and it looked wonderful on her. It made you want to kiss her right then and there, but you couldn't. Not yet.

"I am excited." You smiled and walked onwards. You were on the way to a restaurant for a little date "between friends". That was at least what you'd both told your parents.

You were pretty excited for the date, but on the other hand, you had gained a lot of weight lately, which made you anxious. So much so that it made your stomach hurt. But you ignored it, which turned out to be a bad mistake.

The two of you walked into the crowded restaurant and sat down at the table you asked for. Once a waiter came, you two ordered your food.

And then Robin smiled as she leaned forward. "I have to tell you something. I wanted to earlier, but I forgot and kinda just remembered."

You raised a brow before smiling lightly. "Let's hear it, princess."

She was quiet for a moment but ignored the nickname with a slight blush before she leaned back.

"So... Steve talked to me earlier. Kept on talking about how hot he found Eddie and stuff..." She started, explaining the whole story to you.

Near the end, your food had already arrived.

"And Eddie heard all of it, right?", she said after explaining everything Steve had told her. "And so.... Eddie stands at the counter, smirks and.... you won't believe what he said."

You took a sip of your drink. "What did he say?"

She smiled and covered her face. "Why don't you join me for the movies I'm about to get then?"

She looked up at you with a smile. "(Y/n), they're having a date tonight! Eddie and Steve are probably fucking in Eddies trailer right now."

You couldn't help but laugh at this. You knew the two liked eachother, but this was a turn of events that you really hadn't expected. "No way."

She nodded quickly before the two of you finally started eating. "I felt like I was in some kind of movie."

You smiled and sighed softly. You really loved Robin, which made you force yourself to eat the food in front of you so nothing would be wasted.

Once you were done, you'd started feeling dizzy. Not because you had physical problems, really, it was more that you were mentally so drained from eating all this that it made you physically hurt.

"Are you okay?", Robin asked you and reached for your hand, but you stood up before she could take it and smiled. "Yeah! I'll be right back, okay?"

You didn't wait for an answer as you ran to the restaurants bathroom. You got into one of the cabins and locked it just to break down in tears. The twinge in your stomach made you feel like you wanted to throw up.

You tried to fight it. You really did. The urge to force it out. But it was too big. You just jad to get this calorie bomb out of you.

And you did. Once all of it was out, you hung over the toilet, tears staining your face and body trembling like it hadn't in a long time.

You froze when Robins voice sounded through the door after she had knocked on it. "(Y/n)? Are you in there? Is everything okay?"

You cleared your throat before replying as calmly as possible. "Yea! I'm fine. Just feeling a little weird."

Robin hummed softly. "Alright. Think you can come out? We can go home if you want."

You felt your stomach twist with guilt. "O-Oh.... Well.... Yeah go back to out place. I'll.... I'll be there."

"(Y/n)? What's wrong? You sound like you cried.", she now mumbled softly and it made you feel even worse.

"I didn't." You simply said before you stood up, flushed, and got out. You were lying, and you knew she knew when you stepped out and looked at her face.

"Home?" She asked with a soft smile and held out her hand. You took it and nodded. Of course, you paid first, but once that was done, you made your way home.

Robin took you to her place and went to sit you down in her living room. She then crouched in front of you. "What happened?"

For a moment, you hesitated, but then you sighed softly. "I uh... had to throw up."

She gasped softly. "Seriously? Why? Was there something you didn't like or couldn't handle?"

You shook your head softly before chewing on the inside of your cheek. You felt yourself tearing up again, to which Robin basically jumped to hug you tightly.

"It's okay, please just tell me what's going on." She whispered to you, and you basically melted into her arms.

"I... I'm so sorry. I just... I've been gaining so much weight lately and... and it- it hurts me. It hurts me so much.", you cried out softly before sobbing into her shoulder.

Robin was silent and just held you as you told her more and more. When you were done with speaking, she pulled back and gave you a light smile.

"You're beautiful. No matter if you gained weight or not. Actually... I'm proud you got to gain weight. I know you don't like it. But it doesn't change that you're so very gorgeous."

You were quiet as she talked. You wanted to believe her, but... "But what if... I get fat and you'll hate me?"

Robin looked shocked at your question. "Don't you ever think that again. You're so beautiful. I don't only love you because you're hot."

She chuckled. "I mean, you are. But that's not the only reason. You're kind, caring, loving, protective and smart. Do I have to keep going?"

You shook your head as you gave a light smile.

"Good. Because even if you gain weight, I will still love you nonetheless. Got it?"

You nodded softly as you wiped your eyes. "I love you, Robin."

"I love you too, (Y/n)."

Billy Hargrove

• Oh lord he mad

• don't get me wrong, he's not mad at you

• He's mad at the mf always making comments about your weight aHeUgM Neil AAHEM-

You smiled as you stood in front of the door to Billys house, bag around your shoulder. It was packed with things you'd need for the weekend at Billys place.

You looked forward to it for days now. What you didn't look forward to was Neil's horrible comments about you and your body. They were annoying and disgusting, but you were more than ready to endure them for Billys sake.

You rang the bell, the door opening mere seconds later as Mrs. Mayfield opened the door for you. "Hey, (Y/n)! How are you doing?"

Your smile widened as you stepped inside once she let you. Once you took off your shoes, you finally replied. "I'm doing very good, thank you! How are you?"

She chuckled and closed the door. "I'm also very good, thank you."

You nodded softly and walked up to the living room where Max and Neil sat. You waved at them happily. "Hello!"

Max waved right back with a smile while Neil just eyed you up and down before scoffing. "You gained weight."

Your mood sank almost immediately, but God forbid you'd show them that. "I know, sir. I haven't been able to do my sports lately."

Before the conversation could go downhill, Max spoke up. "Billy is in his room."

You nodded softly and went to go to his room. Music blasted from inside, which made you smile as you knocked on the door loudly.

The music was turned down before Billys voice sounded through the door. "What?" You opened the door and peeked inside before wahing lightly. "Hi."

He visibly relaxed before turning to you fully. "Hello. Come in."

You nodded and got into the room before closing the door and putting your back aside, just to run up to your boyfriend and jump into his arms.

He hugged you tightly and properly pulled you up so he could hold you close. You leaned back lightly to look at his face with a happy face. "Hey, baby. How are you?"

"Good." He mumbled softly. "And you?"

"Amazing! I'm so excited about our weekend together." You leaned your head on his while you spoke. "So absolutely excited."

He nodded softly and sat down with you still in his arms. Without really realizing, you pushed yourself off his lap with your knees, but the moment he noticed that, he pushed you back down.

"The fuck was that?", he asked as he looked at you. You stared back at him with quite the bit of confusion. "What was what?"

"Why the hell did you push yourself up? You wanna get off?"

You immediately shook your head. "No! No. Absolutely not. I just... I don't know." You thought for a moment. "I guess it was because I reel heavy lately?"

"Heavy?" He looked at you before laughing wholeheartedly. "You and heavy? (Y/n), I can lift you with one arm. If you're heavy, then what am I? A Boulder? A skyscraper, perhaps?"

You couldn't help but laugh at his comments, considering that they sounded so illogical. "No?"

"Exactly. So don't say that shit again. Who even told you that?"

You sighed softly and leaned on him a bit. "Dunno. Maybe your dad's comments did get to me more than I thought they would."

You could feel his hands grip onto your hips tightly as if he wanted to push you off and storm out. But he didn't. Instead, he took a deep breath and scoffed. "Of course it's him. It's always fucking him."

You kissed his head softly before moving down to peck his nose and then his lips. "It's okay, really. It'll go away again."

The two of you kept talking, having a few playful wrestle sessions in between (no, seriously, you two were literally wrestling) and even chased each other here and there as a joke.

That was until Mrs. Mayfield called everyone out for dinner.

You happily went to the living room, and Billy followed close behind you. The two of you sat together, and once dinner began, so did the talking.

You ate quietly as plans for the next few days were made. Of course, you also spoke up now and then if you were involved or if you were asked, but you did prefer to stay quiet.

After a while, you finished your food and decided to get yourself some more of it since it really just was so good. Before you could even get anything on your plate, a simple comment made you feel your stomach drop all over again.

"Don't you think you've eaten enough?"

You turned to smile at Neil lightly. "I'm still hungry though."

You could see Billy ready to throw his plate against Neil's head, but before anyone could react another shot came you way.

"So you don't kind becoming fat?"

That was it. Your Damm broke. All the hard work to not let his words affect you, have failed.

And you cried. You cried like a little girl that fell, and all hell broke lose. Billy yelled at his father, and his mom tried to stop them from fighting. Max was in front of you, trying to hold you and make sure you feel okay.

Your sobs grew louder, and within two hours, the police were called in for the constant fighting.

In the end, Billy and his father were stuck at the police station while you had Max and her mother.

The following evening, you were back at your place. No weekend. Not even a full day. And eventually - after a full week - you heard news of Billy being back.

And he came to check on you. You were still damaged, but you gave in. You got closer and closer over time again.

But you wondered what had happened to his father. But you never found out. You never had the chance to get and eventually forgot.

Then, you fully opened up. About how his fathers comments hurt her. How she felt violated all the time.

And he loved you. He loved you like you were perfect. Like he loved you. And that was all you needed right now.

Chrissy Cunningham

• She'll fight a bitch, immediately

• If it's a girl at least

• She gets so savage it's concerning really

• Girl goes soft w you

"Chrissy! Hurry up!", you said as you waited for her to join you for cheerleading practice. She came running to you with a soft laugh. "Relax! We still have time."

She took a quick look around before she pressed a kiss to your lips softly, just to run off towards the gym.

You smiled lightly and followed her happily. You were excited for today. Especially because the cheer team would decide who'd be the one on top of the pyramid today.

You and Chrissy walked in together and stood by the rest of the team as the talking began. In the end, almost everyone was sorted somewhere, but Chrissy spoke up after some time.

"Actually... I think we should put (Y/n) on top of the pyramid today! She's never done it, and I think it'd be time for her to try!"

Your face heated up as you looked at her. "Seriously? You think I can do it?"

Chrissy nodded quickly and put her arm around your shoulder. "Absolutely. You'd do really good."

One of the girls crossed her arms. "Are you insane? None of us can even hold her up with how fat she is."

It was quiet as you looked at the girl. Too quiet. You slowly looked back to Crhissy, who removed her arm from your shoulders as she put them on her hips.

"What did you just say to her?"

You felt shivers go down your spine at the sound of her voice, but the other girl didn't seem all too impressed quite yet.

"I said: She's too fat to be held up."

Chrissy walked up to the girl with a smile, looking down at her. "Listen here, bitch."

You were shocked at her words, but you were not going to stop her at all.

"You have no right to judge her, alright? Your hair looks like you fried it in a pan, and your makeup makes you look like a clown. On top of that your body is the size of a fucking branch, so you look at yourself before judging anyone else. And watch your words before speaking about anyone I'm close with. Do you understand me?"

The girl was quiet before she quickly nodded and stepped back to hold herself at a safe distance from Chrissy as if she were about to pounce on her.

You couldn't help the pride and gratefulness rising in your chest and warming your whole heart and soul.

"Chrissy. I think that's enough.", you said gently to which she turned to you, looking worried. "Are you okay though?", she asked softly.

You nodded to her question and smiled widely. "Perfectly fine, yes."

She walked back to your side just to cross her arms. "Does anyone else have complaints? No? Good."

At the end of practice, you were pretty proud of yourself since you had managed on the pyramid pretty well.

You and Chrissy left together, and on your way home, the two of you talked. Chrissy took your hand once you were far enough from the school. "Are you sure you're okay? What she said was pretty rude..."

You smiled and looked at her. "It was, but you defended me, so I think I'm alright. I mean... I felt hurt at first and a little self-conscious too, but..." You smiled and held her hand tighter. "I don't think it'll affect me as much as it usually would."

She tilted her head softly. "What do you do when stuff like this does get to you?"

The question caught you off guard, and you felt a pit in your stomach, but she did deserve to know. And you wanted to talk to her about it anyway.

"Well... if someone comments on my weight, I... tend to watch what I eat, how much of it and... if it does get too much, I just don't eat..."

Chrissy seemed shocked but nodded softly before replying to what you'd said. "I see... But, you know you're beautiful, right? No matter your body weight."

You nodded softly. "Normally, I do. It's just that... sometimes I tend to forget, you know?"

Chrisdy nodded softly once again. "I get that. I have that feeling at times. But then you come by and make my day better!"

You laughed at her comment and nodded softly. "I love you, Chrissy."

"And I love you, (Y/n)!", she said happily before she looked around just to lean in and giving you another soft kiss, like earlier.

The two of you stood for a while just to be able to share a proper kiss before you pulled away. "Sleepover at mine?", you asked, and Chrissy agreed immediately.

The two of you ended up watching movies, talking, ordering food, and then giving eachother a reward for today's good work.

To you, it felt like no one could ever ruin this between the two of you. If it were legally possible, you'd marry Chrissy right now.

But maybe you don't need that. Maybe all you need is for her to be by your side forever.

Argyle

(My man<33)

• Soft boy doesn't understand cuz he loves his chubby baby

• Will show you how beautiful you are in a not so harmless way

• Will quote literally kiss every single part of you that you're insecure about

You sighed as you got comfortable on your couch. You were currently waiting for your boyfriend to come by.

The two of you had planned a movie night with some weed, snacks, and drinks. It was his recommendation since he knew it helped you on stressful days, which today had been.

When the doorbell rang, you jumped up to go open the door. You raised your arms happily when you saw Argyle, cheerig happily. "Babe!"

He smiled and walked in just to pick up and hug you tightly. "Hi."

You wrapped around him like a koala before he closed the door and walked inside with you still in his arms.

Only now, you noticed the bags he carried. As he was placing them down, you took a glance inside and saw the plenty of snacks and drinks inside.

It already made you feel excited for the night together with him.

Argyle sat down with you still in his arms, and for a few minutes, all you did was hold each other close and be happy that the other was around.

Once that was done, Argyle pulled back with a happy smile. "I already rolled a lil fella for us so we can get right to the fun part!"

You chuckled and kissed his lips softly before nodding. "Let's prepare the snacks quickly and pick a movie. Then we can start."

You got up and took the bag to put the snacks in fitting bowls and boxes before bringing them back to the living room and placing them down.

Argyle got blankets from your room and put them down on the couch. Once the two of you were ready, you got comfortable on him once more, just to wrap yourself and him up in blankets lightly.

An ashtray was placed on the table as well since you needed to put out the joint somewhere once it was done.

Argyle took the first few hits before handing it over. As you smoked, the two of you picked out a movie to watch and, in the end, decided on dirty dancing.

The two of you talked and laughed as the movie played, loving it. Once the joint was done, you put it out just to lean on Argyle happily.

He gently let his hand caress your hair, you playing with his as well. "Why aren't you eating, love?", he asked you and you sighed softly.

"If I eat more, I'm gonna squish you.", you said somewhat jokingly, but he looked at you and raised a brow. "Squish me? Pardon my wording here, but like... you know I'd be into that, right?"

You laughed softly and shook your head. "I know, babe. But I don't want to be like... yknow... to much?"

"Who the hell told you that shit? You are just perfect, and you will be perfect even with a few pounds more, yknow?" He said while continuously poking your side.

You giggled and squirmed. "No- Stop! Haha! Please." He stopped and held you closer just to kiss your cheek softly. "You're so beautiful."

You looked at him as he lightly dipped you back. "You think so?"

He nodded softly and smiled. "I know so." He then started kissing your cheek again and also went down to kiss your neck.

You chuckled and pat his head softly. "What are you doing?"

He happily kept giving you soft kisses before finally replying. "Showing your body the love it deserves."

You felt your cheeks heat up when he started to kiss up your belly and to your chest after pushing up your shirt.

You squirmed more and more the closer he got to your chest. It just made your heart pound a little harder.

Even your breasts weren't spared from the loving of your boyfriend as he gave them several kisses all over too.

"Should I keep going?", he asked as he sat up slowly again. You looked at him before looking away. "Please do."

He let out a small laugh as he properly laid you down on the couch. "But first you gotta eat a lil." He said before grabbed a random candy just to hold it up to your lips.

You opened your mouth and ate it with a small smile. What you didn't expect was for him to lean down, kiss your cheek, and mumble 'good girl/boy' into your ear.

You felt a full-blown shiver go down your spine as your belly twisted in the best way possible. "Holy shit..."

You covered your face as you looked away, not realizing what you did by doing that. The next thing you felt was an arm wrapping around your waist and raising it off the couch.

You let out a little yelp and looked down at him while he unbuttoned the pants you were before smiling at you. "May I?"

You smiled and let your head fall back as you nodded. "Please, just do it." You heard him chuckle as he removed your pants slowly, leaning down to kiss up and down your thighs.

You wanted to close your legs but couldn't, since his head was in the way and his hands holding your thighs didn't quite help either.

You couldn't help squirming as his lips pressed onto that one spot on your thighs that usually had you wailing when he bit into it.

And that's just what he did. You could've cum right then and there when his teeth dug into the soft flesh of your thigh and you let hin hear that from how lewd the moan was that left you.

The night only got more fun from that point on. And every time you questioned your beauty, he made sure to remind you just how damn beautiful you are.

-------------

A/n: I feel like this took me way too long, I'm so sorry 😭😭

[sanchoyo]

i started watching arc v! finally. after years of saying Im Gonna. its Happening. (i've tried to twice and cant recall what eps i got to in those attempts, because I literally dont remember anything at ALL LMAO) I'm like, 15 eps in and may I just say some Things. ep 1-15 thoughts below the Cut

-yuzu best girl immediately my god shes already been done dirty tho. she shouldve gotten to fight shingo! fuck emo yuya for stopping it and stepping in! (altho yaaaay xyz :3 my beloved) and also she loses the first duel we see her get to do? when her dad is literally the owner of a duel school?? and his school was at stake?? bc she was distracted thinking of Not Yuya? no. fuck off with that lol I'm picking her up and mentally rewriting all that. the girl she dueled against was super fun tho, I ship them tbh.

-yuya is finally the canonical clown ygo protag I needed. he dresses as a clown in ep 1! he has! a circus deck! thats so fun! hes a LOT more melancholic/prone to moodiness than I expected...the goggles as a mood indicator is fun. also seems to care VERY much what ppl think/need lots of applause and praise or he gets upset quickly which. like, wanting to put smiles on ppls faces with dueling is a sweet goal, but a lot of it feels self-serving, too, which is Inchresting for a protag...I LIKE it and want to see where it goes

-and the whole 'laugh when you want to cry' is, ngl, very Bad and Unhealthy and I cant imagine we're going anywhere good with that. (seriously, dont recall what ep, maybe 4 or 5, when the kids and yuzu were in danger he started LAUGHING trying to imrpove his own mood and i was like DUDE. UNNERVING STOP THAT.) let him feel his feelings guys. or this is going to go severely Bad I Think

-dont trust sora but also no shit? his intro is him being sus, basically outright saying 'ya where I come from everyone does fusion, nbd' yeah hes some kind of spy or SOMETHING for that academia that emo yuya was taking abt. and his deck is very cute but also has a dark side/creepy cute thing going on and this is ygo where Decks Indicate Personality, so. just kinda Waiting for him to Stab Backs. hes already kind of a little shit

-he 100% shouldve been dueling that guy gongenzaka had to duel! gongenzaka doesnt even GO here and ms Chairman said someone from this school had to duel her school students! if you want to fake being friends with yuya! you need to fucking put in some EFFORT!!! and at least pretend to give a shit dude, this is the school the guy you supposedly admire attends!!! it comes off as u not giving a fuck abt anything besides pendulum/yuya-related stuff which is gonna make yuya less inclined to wanna be ur friend bc u look like a brat! (I know the meta answer is that they wanted to give gongenzaka some screentime to convince me hes yuyas bff or w/e but. in my mind its been 10 or so eps by this point, yuzu is yuyas bff in my mind lol. )

-anyway that aside soras deck is SO cute. the BEARS!! ARE IN!!!! the 'acting younger/cuter than u are' shtick is already kind of annoying tho. I do like his chara design tho (at least his hair/face? Id redesign his outfit ngl if hes going for a cutecore/sweets theme why not go ALL in yk)

-gongenzaka's whole 'no spells/traps' and standing in one spot during an action duel is objectively really funny

-action duels in general are SO FUN!!! i want to ride my monsters too..i kno theyd be soft. pls.

-really wanted to see more masumi or her vs yuya!!! so sad reiji stepped in. pls let the girls DO MORE!!! i love that she used gem knights!! I love gem knights!!!

-didnt know reiji used d/d/d cards, immediately broke out into a cold sweat upon seeing them. those decks always destroy me in duel links in like 2 turns jkasfkjjn.

-its so funny theres entire classes just for synchro and xyz and most ppl in this world can just Do One of them Only. like everyone being SHOCKED reiji can do All of them LMAO.

-surprised at how much I like reiji actually from just what ive seen up to this point, I mean I Like the other ygo rivals and all but usually they have an Attitude...but hes very polite to yuya and him saying he respects yuya's dad is REFRESHING compared to everyone else calling his dad a coward (for?? seemingly going MISSING??) his fashion choices leave a lot to be desired tho. but otherwise him and yuzu are my favs so far I think...we'll see if this changes!

-I KNOW charas from other series get involved, dont know WHEN thatll be, but I am Excitedly Waiting. give me The King Jack. Give me Kaito. I dont know who all besides those two shows up Actually But Im WAITING AAAA.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

Tagged by the very lovely @xxhellfirebunnyxx to answer the 20 questions for fic writers. Thank you for the tag, Darling!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? - compared to on here, not very many. I do occasionally post on AO3, but once I started posting on here instead, I found the engagement much better. That being said I have 28 works on AO3 (as well as 4 fics I've orphaned in favour of anonymity because they're just too kinky)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?- Altogether, everything is 60,613 words.

3) What fandoms do you write for? - Mostly Stranger Things, but occasionally Marvel too (but mostly only Steve and Bucky)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos? - Well on AO3 it's More Than Enough, Not So Freaky After All, The Sweetness of You, Stevie's Baby Fever and Do Ya Wanna Taste It? but on here I think it's probably something completely different.

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - Yes!!! I love responding to comments!!

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I honestly don't think I've ever written anything with an angsty ending. I like writing happy endings where everything gets resolved :)

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think the happiest ending I wrote was for Apartment Apparitions, which is a personal favourite of mine.

8) Do you get hate on fics? Thankfully no, at least not yet anyway. I think I stay in my own lane too much for anyone to come for me.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kinds? - YES!! I've written some of the most toe-curling smut ever tbh. I'm actually more comfortable writing smut over fluff to be honest

10) Do you write crossovers? - I've not written any crossovers yet, but I'm not ruling it out at all, I just haven't found anything that sparks inspiration.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? - Not that i'm aware of, I don't think my work is good enough to get stolen lmaooo

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? - I don't think so?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? I kind of co-wrote a thread about cowboy!Eddie with @munsonology which is kinda cute, but I'm also planning some to write christmas fun with @slutty-thevampireslayer this year so watch out for that 👀

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? I don't typically write for ships, but 10/Rose has a very special place in my heart, and has done ever since I was very young.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? - I don't think there is anything that I've started but have not finished, I don't like leaving things unfinished.

16) What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty competent writing smut, I suppose?

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Oh! Writing fluff for sure, it does not come easily to me AT ALL. I feel like i'm always straddling the line between "is this cute?" and "this is stupid and out of character."

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? - It's not something I tend to do, because I pretty much only speak English. I know the tiniest amount of Welsh, but not enough to be writing stories in it,

19) First fandom you wrote for? Marvel, because at my core I am a slut for Bucky Barnes :)

20) Favorite fic you’ve written? If we're talking about fluff, then I have quite the soft spot for From Me to You. However, if we're talking about smut, I am quietly proud of Flying Solo and Creatures of The Night

[dokiyeom]

THE TAG IS SO SO CUTE ILL END IT 💥💥 u should send me more asks & ill give u an emoji hihi 🫶🫶 IM EXCITED TOO YAY i have so many fic & smau ideas so im glad i can work on them then! (maybe i should tell u a few of them 🤭 ....)

that sounds so nice!! i think i recently ate sukiyaki (?) && it was so so good! baking and mahjong 💔💔💔 im glad u had so much fun because i also completely get what u mean?? i don't have any family here nor do i have any cousins/family members of my age + the distance is just 👎 so im not in contact with any yk

im still . flabbergasted like i want to go 2 japan too hello 😭 tbh at first i thought u lived in maybe japan or IDK but then u said u would show ur friends ur motherlands? so i was like ??? and also I WANNA KNOW UR TIMEZONE PLSPLS pleaseee yes im dutch & french but was born in the netherlands and lived there for 10ish years before moving to France!!

OK I WILL WATCH AN EPISODE SOON THEN!! pls this is so funny YES ik jay + me = twins hihi i hope so too!! that would be really cool but im just waiting impatiently for the official announcement rn so that i can mark it on my calendar, BOOM! ill also go to a big city just before my bday so maybe MAYBE if I have some pocket money i could buy myself a cute dress for the party and or an album teehee YA I HOPE U FIND IT IN JAPAN OMG im curious do u alr have some albums or like merch

i LOVE sudoku omg ,, it's so cool that ur using photoshop like u made ur carrd thingy with that right? it's so pretty i will never not say that. im sure ur gonna do v well hihi 🫶

i will !!! try to drop by ur ask box more frequently !!! unfortunately i’m,, a tiny bit awful at coming up w ideas on what to say but i will try !!!! and hello yes ??? u should 100% tell me abt ur smau ideas !!! or fic ideas in general && in return,, i’ll share some of my horribly messy notes app full of fic ideas w u <3

aagg i’m so happy u enjoyed sukiyaki !! if u get the chance,, i highly rec kansai style sukiyaki unless eating a bit of semi raw egg feels unnatural or intimidating !! i feel like i should b more loyal to kanto style bc i’m from the kanto area,, but kansai sukiyaki is just. wow. && aagg yea i feel u :(( i think it allows for u to b a lot closer a family friends bc they end up sorta being a proxy,, but it does kinda suck not being close or in contact w extended family <//3

i hope ur able to go someday !!! && my time zone is pacific standard time !! or pacific time atm bc of daylight savings,, but i did live in japan for a while &’& am considering moving back there after uni !! and woa hello u live in france ?? that is so cool omg,, i def want to visit france at some point for the fashion museums and exhibitions wraaaa :0 also fun fact,,, i took a plants/human welfare course last yr && the only thing i really rmbr from that was tulip’s apparently caused an economic recession in the netherlands during the early 1600s :D

EXCITED FOR U TO WATCH !! and omg what if the cb announcement is after woozis done posting all the album pics on his instagram :00 but oo what sort of dress would u get ? lw i’m so insanely picky w dresses that for prom i’ve just decided to get a lower costing plain dress && alter it + sew on an egregious amount of accessories

&& yes i have albums !! for merch i have a candy bong && moa bong that i got for the twice n txt concert i went to,, but unfortunately i stood in like for like an hr and a half at the svt concert mercy line only to reach sort of the front area && hear a staff member at the truck yell that carat bongs were completely sold out <//3 i do have. a pc binder that both brings me sm joy && shame for realizing how much money i’ve spent on. silly little pieces of paper w people taking silly little selfies tho. what abt u :0

RIGHT SUDOKU IS SO <3 but it’s also caused me like. sm headaches omg. and thank uu <3 i did make it on photoshop !! but i’m considering making a new one w more of a powerpuff girls/ diff take on a retro cyber theme :D

[1111jenx]

random astro placements &

their culture 🎠🤍🎠

(part 3)

you guys clearly enjoyed being roasted a lil too much so i'm bringing this series back for ya;) enjoy beautiful<3

astro culture//part 1 — part 2 — part 4

🎠cancer rising culture is having major god complex AND savior complex but its so subtle no one but your closest friend know. like yes daddy tell me more about your struggles and addictive patterns you only confide in me right?🥰

🎠mars in 4H culture is a life long burden of trauma so you hoe around as a coping mechanism like flirting with your therapist like "what mommy issue? you do be looking kinda fine today mamas"💀💀

🎠virgo mars culture is being slapped during sex bro. i said what i sad.

🎠gemini rising culture is having your friends telling one another to "tread lightly" and to not make any overbearing jokes that can trip you out because you're waiting for a new prescription for your anxiety meds.

🎠mercury in 5H culture is joking about someone's sex life in public when you're 5 shots in and your bestfriend just look at you like😀can you not😀

🎠sagittarius placements culture is enjoying sarcastic people a lil too much. y'all literally love it when the most skeptical, the most stubborn and sarcastic person can take the heat and drag you to hell and back with their words is that a kink or something why are you guys enjoying this😋

🎠pluto-midheaven culture is dressing like a retired witch whenever you're in your element.

🎠sagittarius placements culture is also having a soft spot for people who act tough on the outside but you know it's just a front and now they got your attention so you gotta stick around and figure them out *sigh in private browser*

🎠uranus 8H culture is lowkey getting turned on when people give you the cold shoulder. on and off attention?constant mind games caused by possibly years of therapy? yes please bring it mmhm😈

🎠scorpio moon/venus/mars culture is pushing people away before you get attached like oh is it already 1AM? aight wake up tinder fling y'all gots to go.

🎠saturn in 7H culture being active on tinder 24/7 and your side hoe list is way too long but then deactivating it during exam szn because you have "priorities"

🎠saturn in 7H culture is actually still hooked on that one person that you were barely physical with but you "felt something was there" and can't stop thinking about them after multiple flings wishing that you could have done things differently.

🎠uranus in 4H culture is moving around all the time when you're younger and your family dynamic changes constantly so you in turns do not get attach whatsoever or you don't even bother to get to know people too early on anymore.

🎠aquarius mars culture is secretly enjoying it when you meet an astrology fanatic like "oh you can tell me more about myself? i mean i know myself pretty well but yeah keep talking"

🎠moon in 12H culture is having everyone ranting to you about their emotions so randomly like you'd just be ordering an ubereats order and your friend would turn around and tell you shits like "bro i think i might need to go to see someone i've been seeing things when i sleep..." so you just kinda go "uh okay what do you want😀bbq sauce or sweet and sour sauce?"

🎠mercury in 4H culture is seeing books and more books everywhere in your childhood home. you probably grew up reading the atlas for fun💀

🎠chart ruler in 11H culture is getting into arguments with your boo because they think you'd choose your friends over them😀

🎠chiron in 7H culture is telling people you're not that picky tbh but you know deep down your standards is higher than than mount everest.

🎠virgo+aquarius energy in a chart culture is telling people "i cOuLd nEvEr stay with someone who cheated on me" but lowkey though, as long as its physical not emotional😀👍🏼

🎠aquarius rising culture is constantly justifying your partner's wrongdoings because you love them and they have a special place in your heart and you know you don't just let anyone in🥲 borderline delusional but you do you gurl

🎠lilith in 7H culture is asking yourself why am i like this what is wrong with me because you get turned on by toxicass ride-or-die mentality like Harley Quinn and Joker energy or Bonnie and Clyde pls get help when you can xoxo

🎠pisces moon culture is taking a step back and going the other way when you heard a girl crying at a party because "good vibes only" and you're too drunk to handle one more person's burden today🤡

🎠leo rising culture is staring at your s/o for an hour and smile & look pretty as you ask them if they notice anything new about you but after another hour of profusely sweating and overanalyzing they gave up and you got mad because you spent banks on the new trim for your hair ends💀

🎠pisces rising culture is blushing when you think about your s/o like ya my boo do be cute but silly😌 and ya my boo simps for me and me only😌

🎠capricorn mars culture is waking up one morning realizing how you forgot about your loved ones for a sec and was stressing about work waaaay too much so you start buying them gifts and food without saying anything as a way to tell em you appreciate them.

🎠capricorn sun culture is falling for that one baddie who looks so put together but aren't that put together when they're with you🥳

🎠capricorn venus culture is getting weirdly horny when the usual quiet and relaxed person goes on a sudden power trip like 🤠thats kinda unexpected but i'm not mad you can proceed🤠

🎠taurus moon culture is looking at someones dead in the eyes and tell em you wish you cared enough lmfao "i'm chillin" but one shot of tequila in and you're oversharing all of your struggles

🎠virgo rising culture is refusing to leave the house looking crusty like oh you saw them looking unprepared? they prolly like you more than you know;)

🎠leo placements culture is seeing your exes/past hookups on the streets when you look kinda musty so you start running the other way😄 no body no murder dear🥰

🎠libra rising culture is fixing your posture&standing up straight as you use your fingers to brush you hair faster than someone can spell Bartholomew when you see the one girl you know was tryna get with your boo in the distance

🎠gemini venus culture is spacing out during an conversation and then make up for it by saying "okay i hear you though" or "i know what you mean" like do you really jessica? do you?

🎠jupiter 1H culture is using humour as a coping mechanism like bahahaha ya he cheated on me its okay tho i cheated on him too ahahahahahahahha🤣🤣💀

🎠leo moon culture is secretly loving it when others follow you like yeah i'm that b who started the trend i invented you b*tches👍🏼

🎠leo moon culture is telling your friend its cute that their boyfriend ordered food for them when they're sick and then posting on your story something along the line of "does anyone want to ubereats food for me teehee "

🎠cancer placements culture is knowing yours strength is either ribs or tits. either you're showing off that gorgeous stomach or those enormous tits no in between.

🎠chart ruler in 10H culture is screaming at your noisy ass friends to keep it down because you gotta submit this essay at 12 and once you submitted it suddenly you're funnelling in the middle of a party <3

🎠moon in 1H MEN culture is having the lady killer smile. so emotionally smart they make you feel cared for too sksksksk

🎠chart ruler in 2H culture is having hella✨anger issue✨ for 10 minutes and throw a tantrum before cooling down instantly and start asking your friends if they wanna grab frozen yogurt with you like nothing happened

🎠mars dominant culture is your friends having to physically stop you from beating up their s/o when you found out they cheated.

🎠venus dominant culture is knowing you're the shit and telling a guys with a straight face something like "if i'm your girlfriend/boyfriend you're welcome" like💀

🎠libra mars culture is removing yourself from the room when someone starts crying because "i can't do this today gf xoxo its been fun tho sending your good vibes!"

🎠aries rising culture is making sure there are going to be hoes at your party so your ex can see how "happy" and "content" you are💀💀💀

🎠cancer moon culture is being everyones favourite therapist. like you would just be existing and people would start telling your stories about their childhood trauma.

🎠cancer rising culture is being the favourite child. prove me wrong.

🎠cancer rising culture is also being the child that your entire family depend on emotionally like wtf why me🥰

🎠sagittarius rising culture is reading up astro blogs telling you you're a horse girl and you're just like 😐at least i'm a hot one bro😐

🎠saturn - IC harsh aspects culture is asking yourself damn i really lived my life and i turned out to be pretty decent aahahahaahahha no but seriously, are u guys okay loves?😀

🎠moon-IC culture is having a parental figure thats highkey obsessed with you and your life like they'd get hurt if you forget to tell them you bought a new diffuser💀

🎠capricorn moon culture is making a sarcastic comment and immediately overthink like fuck was that too harsh can they take it will they think i'm being serious or nah🥲

🎠aries sun culture is yelling at your subject of interest that you don't give a damn about them and they can go f themselves for all you care but cooling down 2 hours later and messaging them wyd wanna come over🤡🤡🤡

🎠taurus mars culture is being a closet freak like they're such cuddly people in secret. look like i fuck with you or you fw me🤬💥but is actually come and cuddle energy🥺👉🏼👈🏼

🎠scorpio mars culture is getting chills and a slight heartache when someone holds your hand like "i mean i don't usually do this but this is kinda nice i guess🙄"

🎠capricorn venus culture is doing the nasty on a pile of green dollar bills. change my mind.

🎠pisces mercury culture is people underestimating you and think you're a lil softie but wait til you go all psycho on them and bring them down with your words only, the power you hold ma'am i-

🎠gemini mercury culture is telling your friends "nah dawg i'll take care of it ion need to study to get good grades" and you actually don't😐

🎠libra mercury culture is dirty talking in a submissive way like wow you're so good at what you're doing omg i love it when you do that yes you're the best and the most amazing d ever😄

🎠aquarius moon culture is being hella possesive but no ones know you are except for your loved ones so you're just chillin for now

🎠virgo placements culture is the inability to say no to people you love like why are you guys so self-sacrificial stop it

🎠mercury in 8H culture is laugh out loud when you get a dirty text or a sexy photo and you get a lil too excited and ignored the fact that you're at a family dinner sir

🎠8H venus culture is pinching yourself to force a smile when your s/o tells you they wanna have a girls night/boys night like 😄sure😄ofcourse😄lets😄spend😄some😄time😄apart😄

🎠moon in 6H culture is forcing yourself to cry because everyone starts crying so you just go uh i guess i'll be sad now uh💀

🎠10H saturn culture is telling your friends "no promise but i'll do my best crying is not my specialty dawg"

🎠capricorn mercury culture is running around the afterparty to make sure everyone is still alive. watch you knock on the washroom door a lil too hard to check that theres no junkie friends of yours OD-ing in there 💀

🎠taurus placements culture is having chaotic firey friends like the superiority you feel being the sane one among these clowns🥰

🎠pisces/aquarius placements culture is chanting spells out loud and spray holy water around your house

🎠cancer placements culture is showing up to your friends house with a bag full of supplies and say something like ok i'm here bitch lets start crying i made food sit down lets talk about your issues wtf happened.

🎠leo placements culture is falling in love with either venusians energy or plutonic energy. strictly one or another.

I can not believe how many ideas I have for these culture post y'all. they just keep coming. I'll do one more proper observation post soon cuz ik i've been slacking✨ haha if you guys make it here gimme a OWA OWA like last time and if you're still reading y'all better lemme know what you think about this and how it applies to you🤡

ily guysssss,

love,

saint jenx🪐

[newdeobis]

hi! i'm 19 years old but still sleep with a plushie because i feel comfortable and safe while hugging them (idk if this makes sense anyway) so can i request the boyz reaction to their s/o sleeping with a plushie 👉🏼👈🏼

ohhhh i feel ya, I'm still sleeping with my plushies too lmao

Sangyeon

could feel his heart melting at the sight when he saw it for the first time 1/2

his smile growing as he takes a step closer

whispers "why are you so cute?" in the most lovingly way when you wake up, fingers touching your face gently

knows why you're doing it even without asking why

Jacob

thought it wasn't yours when he saw you holding it for the first time

just smile and says: "I'm glad that you found something that can make you feel safe at night" when you're telling him the reason behind it

don't really give you time to feel embarrassed, just hold you even closer

tell you that it's okay and a lot of ppl around the world actually do something like that

never brings it up again, but asks if you grabbed your plushie everytime you're going on a trip

Younghoon

casually asks why do you like to sleep holding it

just nods when you tell him the reason

probably gives it a cute nickname

thinks it's cute and wanna tell the other boys about how adorable you look holding it but won't 'cause you may not like it

Hyunjae

kinda surprised when he sees it

never makes jokes with it because he knows it may hurt you.

but gets excited because you look way too cute

take pictures of you so he can use it as his lockscreen later

hugs you tightly "my baby is so adorable"

Juyeon

doesn't realize you're holding your plushies until he tries to hold your hand

gets confused for a second before realizing it's a plushie

shower your face with butterfly kisses

like younghoon, will ask why do you like holding it

tell you that you can hold him close whenever you need to feel safe and that he's there for you

Kevin

thinks "what is this?" to himself but never really brings it up until you tell him the reason you're doing it every night.

tries to make you laugh when he realizes you're actually embarrassed

"damn, can I have one tho?"

boops your nose "oof don't be embarrassed, there's nothing to be ashamed of, no one will judge you for that, we all have something that make us feel safe at night"

probably sings for you and hugs you tightly everytime you're spending the night away and forget to bring it with you

Chanhee / New

won't react much cause he thinks it's probably something you've done your entire life

if you're going to share the reason you're doing it with him or not is up to you, he won't even question it

if you do: the way he wants to protect you after telling that makes him realize how into you he actually is

sometimes will ask if you like it more or him just to annoy you

probably ended up hugging it while sleeping one night when you were out because he missed you

Changmin / Q

could feel his heart melting at the sight when he saw it for the first time 2/2

worried a lot when you told him because he thinks he's not helping to soothe these feeling and making you feel safe, but keeps it to himself

asks if there's any way he can make you feel safe too

but thinks you're the most cute human being when you do that, his dimples showing as his smile grows

actually, watching you sleep holding your plushie tightly helps to ease his mind when he's feeling down

whispers he's there to protect both of you when holds you close at night

Haknyeon

doesn't think much about it

thinks you look really innocent when you do this and let it slip once or twice

tbh I don't see him being curious about it or anything, he's happy if you're happy so if you do something to feel better and safe then it's okay

but obviously care for you and sometimes make sure you're still holding it while sleeping

Sunwoo

if you feel embarrassed while telling him that he'll just ask "so what?" in the most blank expression, but if you keep shying away he'll just be dramatic in that sunwoo™ way, telling you he's gonna buy every single plushie he sees and fight whoever try to make fun of you

whines and complain a lot when he wants to cuddle in the middle of the night but you're hugging plushies instead of him

can't hold back his smile every time he sees you doing that tho

Eric

heart eyes

can feel his heart fluttering everytime you fall asleep holding it

he's always curious about you so he'll ask the reason why, if you tell him he's going to make sure you're not feeling embarrassed, if you don't he's cool with it, telling you that you don't need to share the things you don't want to and that he'll be there whenever you change your mind

like hyunjae, have a pic of you holding it as his lockscreen

hugs you and tell you're his plushie too just to mess with you

[heyitsyn]

,,,,OK Kurat

Soulmate!Bokuto

a/n: when bokuto refuses to fix his roots and let the gray dye grow out and it slightly irritates you

colorblind soulmate where you lose your colors and only gain them back when your other half starts to have feelings for you

requests are open!!

so, leggo?

ever since you turned 16, you’ve literally gone colorblind

like you were perfectly happy seeing the colors of the world

from daichi’s red sweater

to hinata’s orange hair

you were ROBBED of the colors of the world

when you woke up that morning, you knew you would get your soulmate sign soon and you were sure it would happen while you were in class as it would start the exact time you were born 16 years ago

so there you were, happily eating with nishi and tanaka at the roof

‘hey, y/n-chan, look at this manga i found!’

you look up at noya and you almost choked on your rice ball when you couldn’t see his blonde streak anymore

it was like the moment you blinked, it was gone

he must’ve noticed your surprised look because noya touched the front floof since you were staring right at it

tanaka had his mouth opened and patted your back when you coughed

‘ah, it happened now?’

then you just start bawling

‘i cANt sEE yOuR hAiR anYmoRE!! aNd hiNATa’s hAiR! aND tHE oRANgE uniFOrMS!’

they understand it was a touchy subject for you since you were expecting something cute like noya’s thought sharing sign or tanaka’s taste sharing sign

but NO!!!

‘it’s okay y/n-chan. you’ll meet them soon and you’ll get your colors back’

from then on, all you’ve done is research all you can about soulmate signs and how they worked

yours happens to be a rarer one and you groaned bc of course it would happen to YOU

it states that usually, the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate, you’d get your lost sense back

but you wouldnt know when it would exactly happen and be like your uncle who is nearly 40 and still cant smell anything

whats worse, there were even cases where you wouldnt get them back in one sight but gain them when they start to have romantic feelings for you

you really do hope you’d get the easier 

being a part-time manager, you often helped the vbc if you were free from your other clubs so you sometimes help kiyoko with the kids

entering the gym, you frowned when you saw hinata and the gray tone of his hair

everything was gray but colors that are light like yellow or bright orange, were lighter gray while darker ones were dark gray or black

seems like tanaka and noya told the team what happened because daichi went up to you and ruffled your hair before saying it’ll be okay

‘give it time! you will find them!’

yacchi, a manager-in-training, enthusiastically told you about her ideas for the poster and gave you her rough draft, explaining the little details

but you were out of it as you just roamed your eyes over the gray-colored paper

thus causing her to freak out

‘OH MY GOD! I”M SO SORRY Y/N-SAN! I FORGOT ABOUT IT!! I’M SO SORRY!’

(yacchi is just a little precious bun, please protec her :’))

but you ruffled her hair and put on a smile

‘don’t sweat it, yacchi’

after that whole thing about announcement of the tokyo training camp and the hinata/kageyama idiot squad

you guys were in the bus, getting ready for Tokyo

it’s also been weeks since you lost it so you were still new but you were starting to get used to it

ofc you still had mistakes like their different colored practice jerseys and who was in what team or wearing different colored socks

but you were slowly adapting

it was a few hours of a drive so everyone was static to get out of the cramp bus and use the bathroom and stretch their legs

you took your time and put the others trash into a plastic bag bc youre just a great manager like that

getting out of the bus, you heard a horrendous and terrifying laugh and saw the nekoma captain hunching over in laughter

‘my god. at least his face makes up for it’

you got a text from hinata and kageyama saying that they were going to take their exams now and you sent them a little encouraging blurb

the guy from nekoma with the mohawk gawked at the 3 managers and you remembered him having that blonde hair dye

when you and the rest entered their gym, all you saw were balls flying everywhere and lots of people

your eyes scanned for at least someone to make eye contact with you because this gym has a lot of people in it and there could be a possibility they were in here

like 0.000003% probably but still a chance

from the managers to the players, not one reactivated the colors

‘hm,,, i think my soulmate is in here’

noya’s little comment made you glare at him in envy and he grinned with a peace sign

you noticed that boy kenma with his haircut and there was someone sitting near him that made you turn to the others

‘okay, either i just have terrible memory but is that a new guy?’

suga wondered the same thing and you flinched at the kid’s harsh stare at you all

there was a light gray tone to his hair and eyes so you were curious what color they were

‘his legs look a little long. i think he’s taller than most of these guys’

asahi said which made you give him a look

‘listen, as long as we got tsukki-kun, we’re okay’

the first match was against some powerhouse called fukurodani and they had a few interesting players

by interesting, you meant looks wise

that one guy looked freaking pretty with his sharp eyes while the other guy, who you assumed to be the captain, had round eyes and spiked hair

you were pretty sure that he had different colored hair due to the mix of black and light tones

AND THE WAY IT WAS STYLED THO

its like he got electrocuted and his hair just stayed the same

you were too busy looking at the 2 teams that you completely missed karasuno’s defeat and just saw them doing flying receives

the others gathered to the side and the next game was against fukurodani and nekoma

from hearing the names being said, that pretty guy was akashi or aggghasshi and the owl looking dude was bokuto-san or bokutosang or something bokuto bc youre not exactly sure

and then he be flying

‘he REALLY flying!’ 

you exclaim and tbh what can you expect from being one of the top 5 aces in the country

then the ball straight flew towards your own player and you and yamagucci screamed for his name

everyone flinched when the ball hit his hand and you ran over to check

‘ouch’

you hear that loud voice of his on top of kei’s hiss and you growled

‘HEY HEY HEY’

he didnt even apologize and if it wasnt for tanaka and daichi holding you back, you were about to scream into the guys ear for damaging your player’s hand since he needed it to block properly

‘LET ME GO! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS INJUR-’

suga smiled and raised a hand apologetically your shouts caught the attention of others

the more games karasuno played, the more they lost

you went to fill up their water bottles and was mumbling to yourself, blaming that freak haired guy for tsukki’s pained blocks

‘didnt even apologize. how dare he hurt my boy’

bokuto was going for a drink when he heard your mumbles by the water fountain

he noticed you as the karasuno manager and poked you in the shoulder

‘ah! youre the manager!’

cue you looking to glare at him since you could recognize that voice anywhere

‘and you are?’

taken aback with your tone, he grinned

‘bokuto. bokuto koutarou’

‘ah’

then you went back to filling up the bottles

he fiddled with his towel before poking you again

‘um,,, i want to apologize for earlier. sorry about that spike’

you stopped and you nodded

‘i appreciate the apology, bokuto-san. but you should say it to him’

bo guessed that you were kinda their mother hen and you looked after the players of your team

‘are you,,, a third year?’

closing the lid of the last bottle, you placed it on the basket

‘second’

his eyes widened before shouting

‘im your senpai!’

you jumped at the sudden volume of his voice and awkwardly smiled

‘ah. okay, bokuto-san’

his eyes widened before patting your shoulder gently

‘drop the -san! i prefer being called senpai!’

does this guy have a senpai kink or something

but there was probably nothing wrong with calling him senpai right?

‘okay, bokuto-senpai’

you were lowkey kinda iffy since you dont really call anyone senpai, everyone was -san to you

bo laughed loudly and ruffled your hair

‘WAH!!!!!! MY LITTLE KOUHAI!!!’

‘bokuto-san!’

your head looked up and you saw the pretty guy walking towards you

he bowed in front of you in both greeting and apology

‘sorry about him. he gets a little excited sometimes. im akaashi keiji by the way’

you waved it off and smiled gently

‘nice to meet you, akaashi-san. and dont worry, i have two people like him in my team’

hinata and noya

‘come on. the next game is about to start’

he tugged bokuto’s arm and bo waved at you before walking away

‘see ya!’

but stopped

‘ah! i didnt get your name!’

‘y/n. l/n y/n’

‘see ya later y/n!’

when you came back, the boys were still doing flying and you glanced at your watch, knowing that your boys should be coming soon

you and yacchi were visibly listening to the other players talking about your team and kiyoko gave you both a look to settle down

‘hold it in, girls’

the sea of different tones of gray were currently making you dizzy with so many things happening at ones and you completely missed the door opening, revealing tanaka’s sister

noya’s excited shout made you turn and you waved excitedly

you’ve met her once when you went over to help tutor her poor brother and noya who practically lives at their house

everyone stopped what they were doing and saw the two boys huffing by the door

you heard kuroo’s comment but you were too excited to see them come back in one piece

‘ah, so those are the legendary first years’

hm, if only you knew why they were late

bo saw you with wide eyes and excitedly bouncing at the sidelines as karasuno started to play

‘what are you looking at bokuto-san?’

akaashi asked

bo thought you were interesting the moment he heard you angrily mumble about him and he thought your pouting face was cute

‘i wonder what her soulmate mark is’

akaashi knew about his soulmate sign since he received a very frantic phone call that sunday afternoon of bokuto not being able to see the color of his apple anymore

‘she probably doesnt have it yet’

akaashi’s answer made his brows furrow

‘she’s a second year so shes probably 16 already’

‘why would it matter to you anyways?’

yea, why did it matter?

‘just general curiosity. shes quite fiesty. i like her. i want to be friends’

akaashi sighs and pats his back

‘i support you, bokuto-san’

shoot this might as well be a bokuaka

he saw you run to the two first years and took their bags for them, ruffling their hair each

even though you’re only like a some months older than hinata, you still treat him like a babie

‘coach left some buns from earlier so you can eat that before you play. oh! i also got you your milk, kags!’

bo literally could feel your happiness radiating and he saw your eyes

too bad he couldn’t see the color of them

although the boys team was finally complete, they still lost quite a lot of sets

and they were trying so hard and you were just cheering on the sidelines w yacchi and kiyoko

you kept running back and forth from the drinking fountain since the boys kept drinking so much water

and bo just finds you there again

for the second time today

:0

‘oh? back again, y/n-chan?’

you could recognized that gruffy voice anywhere

you turned and gave him a tight smile

‘ah. hello bokuto-san’

he pouted and nudged you with a finger to your shoulder

‘senpai! call me senpai!’

you were pretty sure he was 18 yet he still threw a tantrum

what kinda-

‘okay okay. sorry, bokuto-senpai’

then like a switch his pouts became grins and you got dizzy with the sudden mood switch

‘youre such a diligent manager, y/n-chan. you should transfer to our school and be one of ours instead!’

then you remember meeting the 2 managers they had

‘ah, you already have 2 so i think you’re covered’

bo whined at that

‘but karasuno also has 2 without you!’

tbh you shouldve been uncomfortable in this situation bc here you have a grown man whining

but you found his pout endearing and his eyes were loony-looking

‘not to hurt your feelings, bokuto-senpai, but we just met and i don’t know you all that well’

‘then you know the solution to that, don’t you?’

you just stared at him

‘lets get to know each other! lets be friends! lets be close!’

you couldnt say anything else since you were kinda in a pickle here so you just nodded

‘um, okay’

‘bokuto-san!’

that voice made you perk up and you raised a hand

‘akaashi-san!’

bo saw your smile and he pouted, jealous that you didnt give that smile when you saw him

‘ah, l/n-san.’

you looked at bo and his eyes grew even bigger and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks with how they puffed out with his pout

woah wait huh

why did you just think of that

akaashi had to bring back bo to the gym for their match but bo refused to walk

‘no! not until y/n-chan wants to be my friend!’

what are you

5?

but you nodded, placing a hand around his bicep

you froze, trying to contain the shock of how S T R O N G they felt

ohmygad

‘l-lets get to know each other later, bokuto-sa-senpai’

you hurriedly corrected yourself and breathed a sigh of relief when he didnt notice

a big smile got to his face and he pointed at you

‘ill win this for you y/n-chan!’

you sweatdropped bc wow this manz is winning a game for you

no-for your friendship

he excitedly ran back down the hallway and disappeared with a faint ‘hey hey hey!’

you and akaashi shared a look and he apologized

‘im sorry if he made you uncomfortable’

‘nah nah, its okay’

‘and thanks for uplifting him. he was in a mood when he left bc we lost a set but now he’s energized thanks to you’

a,,, mood?

‘is he,,, i dont know,,,, bipolar?’

akaashi stood for a second before shrugging

‘i guess you could say that. the team tries to uplift him bc if hes in a mood he messes up’

a sound of recognition left your lips before you nodded

‘ah okay’

‘well, i guess im seeing you later then, l/n-san?’

‘oh, please. call me y/n. we’re the same age!’

but he gave you a mysterious smile

‘i dont think bokuto-san would like that’

so the remaining of the time there, bo was practically stuck to you as he followed you everywhere

babie calls it ‘friendship bonding’

when yall were leaving, he was pouting so hard and you gave in to your urges

;)

you pinched his cheeks

‘until next time, bo-senpai’

blew a fuse right then and there

bO-sENPai

yall remained in contact and you even went up to visit him and just hang out

you were lowkey catching feelings

like when he sent you that mirror picture of him and kuroo being sassy in a department store and your heart started beating really really fast

then your palms started sweating as you remembered the feeling of his warm hands on yours when he led you through the busy sidewalk of tokyo

‘siri, am i having a stroke?’

but you were like ‘nuh-uh, must remain pure for my soulmate’

however

if you have those feelings already and it’s towards your soulmate, that gave bo his sight of colors

just sitting there w his team eating yakisoba bun then he looked at akaashi and saw his friend’s blue eyes again

can you tell im a bokuaka simp

in another life flashbacks

n e ways

he was so happy and ecstatic and was about to call you but akaashi was like, ‘wait, i think she might be your soulmate’

the entire team was just like, ‘what’

and bo just sitting there, ‘omg what if’

akaashi, 

grandmaster plan creator

tells bokuto to hold off from telling you until the next time yall see each other which is in the training camp

for story’s sake, training camp finally rolls around

you cannot stop squirming in your seat bc ya finally get to see bo again after so long

kuroo greets yall at the front and hes familiar w you since you hung out w the tokyo squad

‘you have a surprise little chibi’

you were just like, ‘,,,,ok kurat’

meanwhi;e,,

bo was so antsy and he was just like, ‘yey! i get to see her again!’

ngl, bo thought you were really pretty and cute and he thinks he has a crush on you but not like head-over-heels like you were

literally cannot stand still and the team was tired of having to keep him from running so akaashi just let him go

‘but dont run her over, bokuto-san’

he sonic bolts over

nYOOM

he finally sees that tangerine hinata and was searching for your hair color and when he sees you laughing at kuroo’s face, his eyes widened

his heart beat started beating really really fast and everything in his brain and all the words he wanted to say died down

he never really saw your face with colors but he just stares in awe at your beautiful skin color, breathtaking eyes, silky hair, and those plump lips

sweat started to gather at his palms and his feet started moving on its own until he just scoops you in his arms, lifting you off the ground in the process

w you, there was a silence

‘your eyes,,,,, theyre beautiful’

bo just grins at the crack of your voice and tears just wells up in your eyes w a smile

‘bo!’ 

you shouted and you wrapped your legs around his waist while he burrows his head in your neck

‘you’re so beautiful. oh my god, you’re so beautiful’

omg what i would do for bo to say that to me

obvs, the others knew what was happening

dai and suga were already planning on the talk

kuroo just recording the whole thing

‘im falling in love with you. i want to fall in love with you over and over again until i die. i want to feel like this forever. can i?’

just forgets about everyone and being in your own bubble and your own world as bokuto just professes his love for you

‘stupid question, koutaro!’

you giggled and he finally allowed you to stand on your own two feet

‘let me love you for eternity’

cue waterworks from noya and tanaka and konoha

‘but baby, we need to touch up your roots, though.’

‘we got forever, soulmate’

sorry if this was trash

[cloveroctobers]

SEBASTIAN “SEB” KATSAROS —

IG bio/info: @/s3bgl00m | 17.4k followers | i hate it here. i hate my username name too. Listen to my podcast wth my mate here...open.Spotify.com/podcast/?!.doomngloom

28 years of age

Born & raised in Liverpool, England...don’t ask if he’s met the Beatles he will completely ignore you if you do

Music shop owner in the heart of town

It’s called, “Kicking Kettles”

loves collecting vinyls, cassette tapes, & cds sorry, what did you expect?

His mother is a children’s illustrator

She’s Ashkenazi Jewish

His father is a graphic designer

And is from Nafplio, Greece

They’ve been separated for about a year now, with seb’s father living in France

His mother was skeptical on dating around while she was in a place of uncertainty in her marriage but with a deep discussion with her husband, then her children, she slowly went forward just to see what was out there & found that she wasn’t sure if she’d be open permanently with other beings

Seb was similar to his mother in many ways...

Has a older sister by 2 years named, Xenia...she’s very bossy, a busy-body, & is very vocal. The opposite of seb

she used to beat up guys just for them to turn around and ask her out on dates, a few of them tried to bully seb but Xenia was not having that ofc

very close to his family, even if things are a little off between mum & dad

I feel like he went through a buzzed hair phase & when he finally made the choice to start growing out his hair, going on 4-5 years now, everyone seemed to approve

Even if they didn’t? It be no matter, sure he’d feel a little awkward if someone he cared about didn’t like it but he was sure they would get over it OR get used to it

The hair only comes out when he’s showering or going to bed

His best friend who’s a barber (and a bit of a douche) tells him he’s got to let his hair breathe more often or he’ll have breakage, seb doesn’t think it’s that serious? He’s not sure how much longer he’ll keep the bun now anyways...

This same friend encouraged him to get a “Pompadour” haircut & seb’s never been so offended before in his life, “I wouldn’t want to look like the rest of you knob-heads.”

Anyways, he takes care of his hair the best way he knows how and it seems to work for him...some slightly expensive haircare products here and there & a trimmer & he’s good to go

When he first started growing his hair out, he felt like he needed to go to the salon to know how to manage it. After awhile he learned how to do it on his own + you save $ that way

uses his hands to talk or holds one hand in the other when having a conversation since he doesn’t know what to do with his hands exactly

He’s a chapstick kinda guy who always loses his before he can finish it (been there)

Absolutely loves Japanese food and eats it almost everyday

Japanese Mayo is the superior condiment, bill can stfu!!

probably watches anime

owns a bunch of vans, beanies, and hoodies

smokes hookah every now & then but isn’t too crazy about it

canon: catlover! I feel like he would have a Sphynx, Abyssinian, Ocicat, or oriental shorthair + was over the moon when his baby had babies !!!

He wanted to keep all 5 of the kittens but knew he probably couldn’t, at least not forever but he was going to wait until they were all at least a few months before he decided to put them up for adoption...which sucks but would ultimately be the best choice, maybe???

tried eyeliner again outside of the villa & finds pencil or pomade is better than the standard liquid liner

likes black nail polish but is slightly embarrassed to be seen out with it, it’s the same thing with the eyeliner...he’s not that confident

the guy is a huge blusher & he despises the fact that his face betrays him 80% of the time

often gets nosebleeds

loves red wine especially if it’s on a rainy day and he’s home to fully enjoy it, he feels like he’s on his grown man shit when he does so

I feel like he’d be a fan of the umbrella academy & thinks it’s way better than stranger things...him & nick have argued over this on doom n gloom!

Five is his favorite

Everything he owns is in either black, red, gray/grey, or green

His main phobia is emetophobia (fear of v*mit) & he won’t share why, that’s just what it is

Introvert!

Canon: he’s not a Aquarius

So wtf r ya? Nick & I would like to know plz

Virgo sun? + Taurus moon? + Pisces rising?

I feel like he’s one of those people that feels the need to bring a backpack with him everywhere and you can imagine it to be black ofc

“Who tf are you Linus? But with a backpack?” His sister often jokes (I do this with my sibs, both of them love carrying backpacks. Me on the other hand? I don’t have time for the shit)

He drives a shitty car from the 90s that’s Engine sounds as if it’s about to blow

but 100% perfers to drive his moped, Atticus around

played football (soccer) growing up to help get rid of his asthma

Cannot sleep with the tv on or any form of light around him, it has to be completely dark & quiet!

He’ll only do so if it’s with Genevieve since you know they’re trying this whole long distance thing out

Are one of those couples that will fall asleep on the phone/cpu together

Genevieve might be the, “no you hang up first” & seb will actually hang up the phone and get into bed lmao

Just for vieve to call back like?!! “I can’t believe you’ve done this!

“Well you said—

“Never mind what I said, sebz!!! It’s extremely rude...”

his last relationship before Genevieve lasted 6-8 months (there was a time when he felt like he was unsure if he was still in a couple with that person, isn’t that a shame?)

his love language is acts of service, he’ll do things for you to ease your worries out of love and not obligation so that you feel valued as his partner & I believe he wants this in return as well

I think he’s a bit of a worry wart too when it comes to certain things even if his exterior might show him trying to hide it

He was super nervous to get his first tattoo on his chest, “if words fail, music speaks” but he found that the slight pain was worth it? And quite nice! then he kept going back monthly and soon enough his arms were completely covered

mum hated it, her baby boy was becoming a man! (It’s not like he’s almost 30 but you know how moms are)

Deff has a collection of silver rings, he’s tried out necklaces but he thinks he looks better with his rings

The slit in his brow came from trying to squeeze thru the broken patio glass door with his sis as if it were some booby trap (not exactly, but a safety hazard forsure!) & a piece of glass fell from above slicing his brow and left him with 4 stitches

Secretly into watching those dating shows before and after experiencing it himself

people he enjoyed seeing on the Telly from previous seasons: jen, jake, talia, erikah, lottie, Noah, Carl, Kassam, Priya, & Hannah

AJ is his best girl friend (besides vieve) they FaceTime quite a bit & chat shit to each other on the daily

Feels like she fits in well with his friend group, which just contains his barber friend — they put up with his banter & give it right back to him but he can also be vulnerable & comfortable with those around him so that’s always a plus

It’s the same with nick, except they share a hobby together, their podcast & that’s what seb wants to keep it as, a hobby, for fun & giggles yet nick is thinking about getting paid for what they do. He thinks it’s a great idea whereas seb doesn’t want this to turn into a career/chore

He’s perfectly happy at kicking kettles

He feels strongly about his stance while nick is on both sides

They’ll figure it out, soon.

How are things outside of the villa & since the boat party? They all have a group chat that they randomly speak up in, in the beginning they would do morning and goodnight texts but that became tedious so they settled for either or. Or simply just checking in to see how each other’s days went with seb secretly being the most curious to everyone’s days

Things are awkward between him and Yasmin, he kinda avoids talking to her tbh & not because he doesn’t want to...its just yeah it’s not the same with him and aj where they can easily move forward, it feels like pulling teeth with Yasmin since they’re some what similar & it seems like she’s waiting on him to take the lead on fixing some imagined issue they have with each other? It’s weird idk

Lives in a cramped studio apartment, it works for him so he doesn’t need any inputs thank you

celeb crushes? Demi lovato, Hwasa, Amanda Seyfried, & Birgundi Angel Baker

as for music? Sleeping with sirens, pierce the veil, teagan & Sara, the pierces, panic!at the disco, all time low, twenty one pilots, x-ambassadors, awolnation, jon bellion— listen when atl dropped? Seb felt like he was reborn okay?! , Japanese breakfast, & great grandpa

Anthem = The Postal Service, “Such great heights”

[firequeers]

Station 19 Season 4 ending/ Season 5 hopes under cut along with random fandom feels 

Overall, I actually REALLY liked the ending of the season. I feel like the episode covered a fair amount of ground decently considering how pressed for time. I obviously think it could have been better, but the timeline was just so off for the season. I think they did the best with the set up they had.

The writing was a bit all over the place this season. None of it was really bad, there were some AMAZING scenes and monologues, but it kinda seemed like all the writers weren’t talking to one another. The episodes didn’t always mesh well together, especially after the winter hiatus. 

I am a FIRM believer that Maya knew something was coming her way - now IDK if she thought she was gonna be relieved of duty, but I rewatched the scene she made the call to save Zaza (spelling?) and I think it was a very calculated move despite the risk. She knew she was going to get reprimanded. It was a subtle build up, but they’ve had a lot of hints at the higher ups not really taking super well to a woman in chage.

Additionally, there were multiple instances this season they had Maya verbally reiterate that being captain isn’t the most important thing anymore. She was willing to risk it when she went after Andrew and Carina, she wasn’t quite there with the sex traffickers when they arrested Dean and Sullivan - but the cogs were in motion. She even said something about how not being on the track is okay.

Marina wedding was cute enough, loved the dancing. It could have been better, sure. But tbh I have little complaints.

I’m still unsure how I feel about Miller/Vic but I do sort of wish they let Miller shoot his shot, give him at the very least - some closure. This man has had a rough fucking go this year but has made it through it all amazingly. I just want what is best for him. Dean has such a level head on his shoulders, I really hope one day he gets a leadership position in the station.

Travis and Vic’s heart to heart about Theo and Emmett was really cute. I feel like we lost some friendship dynamics throughout season 4 - there was just less about being friends and more about the system and covid and romantic relationships. I liked seeing that core friendship survive it all. Theo and Vic are cute enough, def not endgame in my eyes and I do want Vic to just be single for a bit. But I get what they’re doing. I think Theo is more for Travis’s development than Vic’s.

Emmett and Travis are cute, I don’t love or hate them. I do just wish we had some slow burn on this show aside from Dean/Vic - but that’s one sided.

Jack and Inara’s breakup tbh was great. I think it’s an awesome send off for Inara - letting her go on her terms, ya know? I just don’t want them to throw Jack at Andy right away. Like if it eventually happens cool but right now? No.

SULLIVAN. UGH. I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU MAN. AND YOU HAD TO DO THAT. I’M MAD. For me it’s not just that he betrayed, Maya (bc yes she took him in but idt the man has to be indebted to her forever) but he offered himself. He elevated himself so much, wanting to skip the line. If Maya can’t be captain why isn’t it Jack or Andy? Or a LT from another station? Sullivan doesn’t deserve it yet. I wanted Sullivan to work his way up the right way.

BUT I ALSO HATE HOW PPL REALLY SHOW THEIR FUCKING RACISM WITH SULLIVAN. There are so many valid reasons to be mad at Sullivan or dislike him but I made the mistake of going in the twitter tags after the finale and people are fucking gross and racist.

I feel like we got a taste of old Andy back the last episode - like season 1&2 competing for captaincy Andy, ya know? There was a fire to her. I just wish we got answers about her pregnancy and some details on her family situation. Also can we discuss how FUCKING FINE ANDY LOOKED AT THE WEDDING? She had the best look hands down.

One of my favorite scenes of the episode was Vic and Carina - I just wish there was a mention of Andrew. 

Katherine Bishop is adorable. Vic’s parents are goals. Bailey is amazing. Theo is a cutie. The fucking end.

I hope next season has a time jump with flashbacks.

Main things I want for season 5:

Give Carina DeLuca storylines and friends 

More Vic!!!!!!! More more more Vic!!! Give her stories outside of men (including Travis)

Introspection into Sullivan - I think there is slightly more at play then we have been given.

More fires

Resolution/closure to Dean/Vic

More Dean conflict with raising Pru/JJ’s parents 

Jack finding his foster siblings and not throwing himself at another woman

Travis’s mom finding out about her husband

More of Andy’s family!

Episodes addressing why Maya and Sullivan became firefighters - they’ve done everyone else but them

PRT!!!!

More Ben scenes - especially if it involves Ben and his boys, I love that dynamic. I also wouldn’t mind seeing more of Ben’s sister. 

A new probie

[angst-in-space]

december ‘20 writing progress (and yearly wrap-up)

december progress:

words written: 15.2k

yearly total: 248.8k 

projects worked on:

- sylvix dreamscape fic - edited/posted the sylvix xmas fic, “where the love light gleams” - finished writing the altea rising recap - worked on a couple secret projects

december goals: - reach my yearly goal of writing 250k words....*sweats* (ok i didn’t quite get there but i’ll give myself credit cuz i was only like 200 words off) - finish/submit final draft of piece for long live zine - finish editing and publish the sylvix xmas fic! - finish/publish [redacted] and [redacted] - work some more on the sylvix dreamscape fic  - finish the altea rising recap summary (and....maybe work a little on chapter 19 if i have time)

notes:

well, december was....a very busy month. had kind of a hellish start to the month what with a health-related thing (not covid, don’t worry i’m fine dkfjdl) so that kinda sapped my energy for about a week. then ofc there was the holidays and everything. aaand on top of that i had like four writing deadlines (although like....two of them were postponed so that was good haha). 

but anyway! i did at least manage to finish a couple of things––mainly my sylvix christmas fic (“where the love light gleams”), finishing/submitting my “long live” zine piece, FINALLY finishing the altea rising recap summary ... and also finishing one secret thing that is not published yet, but it’s for a fandom i’ve never written before and i’ll be very excited to publish it once i can!

other than that, i mostly worked on the sylvix dreamscape fic and on a secret santa exchange fic that i still have not finished (we extended the deadline to end of january bc like...no one in the group had finished by end of december lol). 

i didn’t quite reach my goal of 250k words for the year, but i mean my initial goal was 150k and i only ended up being about 200 words shy of 250k SO i still think that’s a big win lol. 

as for what i’ll be working on next: top priority is finishing the secret santa fic. but i also hope to keep working on the sylvix dreamscape fic. aaand hoping to edit/publish the klance hotel au by the end of january maybe, since uh i finished a draft of it in november and STILL have not finished editing that so OOPS. and mayyybe will finally delve into finishing the last few chapters of altea rising, and maybe at least start editing chapter 15 but that’s pretty optimistic of me lmao.

2020 wrap up:

total words written: 248.8k most words written in a month: 50.1k (november) least words written in a month: 14.1k (march)

works completed:

- want your fire on me - i know a place we can run - illumination - cover my skin with your sunkissed light - where the love light gleams - klance hotel au (not published yet) - [secret project] (not published yet) - miles to go (my zine piece for “long live”, not published yet) other wips:  - sylvix dreamscape fic - altea rising - secret santa fic - planning my wlw YA sci-fi novel 

2020 goals:

- write every day - write at least 150k words - focus more on my multichaps  - finish altea rising - finish a couple of my kl standalone fics?? not sure which ones yet, but yeah! - finish galolio fic - write burning hearts piece - work on wangxian fic w jessie! - maybe start writing something original??

notes: 

all in all, a very productive year! there were some yearly goals i did not reach (i.e. finishing my old klance multichaps.....rip) but i mean, i also ended up getting involved in (and writing fic for) several other fandoms, so i couldn’t really have anticipated that at the beginning of the year. i’m really happy with the two sylvix fics i’ve published so far, and i hope to write a lot more for them this year! 

so yeah... i have a few big projects i want to tackle in 2021. firstly the sylvix dreamscape fic is...already over 30k and i’m estimating it’ll probably end up being a total of somewhere around 50k-60k so uh yeah that’s gonna be a big commitment lol. but i think i’m gonna do the same thing i did with “cover my skin...” and make it a chaptered fic. not sure when i will start posting it but i’m hoping ideally sometime in like late february or early march, depending on a few things. 

i have a few other sylvix fics i also hope to at least start writing sometime this year. one in particular i have had fully planned out for months but ironically have not started it yet even though it was the first sylvix fic idea i came up with... but yeah i might start that one after the dreamscape fic is done. i also have a couple aus that i might tackle, but they both need a lot more fleshing out before i even begin writing them so hmm we shall see. 

besides that... i do really honestly want to finish my klance multichaps even tho it’s been...over a year since i updated either of them and idk if anyone even gives a shit anymore but i’m a completionist at heart and just wanna see them through sooo yEAH. i have at least finished writing up a (very long) summary of everything i’ve written of altea rising so far, mostly to recap myself to make sure i tie up all the loose ends in the last few chapters. i did work a bit on actually writing it in 2020 although tbh i like kinda fell off the rails once i fell into fe3h/sylvix hell BUT i still intend to get back to it because i do still have a soft spot for it and want to finish it. and long story short, i’ve decided to divide up what i’ve written of the last part into like...5-ish chapters so yeah, hopefully i can start posting those at some point in the near future. ....and uhh i don’t think i worked on red skies at all in 2020 which makes me sad bc i still love that fic dearly and want to complete it as well, it just may take me a few months to get back to it but hey if i’m able to update it at all in 2021 that would be great haha.  another thing i’m hoping is to possibly open commissions in 2021, something i said i would do in 2020 and never did but....kinda wanna give it a try, especially because i am funemployed once again. :’) AND LASTLY...i’ve been planning an original wlw YA sci-fi novel for like two years and i would really love to start at least the first draft of it this year....that would be neat. 

so yeah this post is starting to get insanely long but i’ll just wrap up with my 2021 goals and january goals, and...yeah. 2020 sure was a weird year, here’s hoping 2021 is (at least..slightly...??) better. 

2021 goals: - write every day - write at least 150k words - finish the sylvix dreamscape fic - start on like 1 or 2 other sylvix multichaps...? - finish altea rising - work on red skies again - do some fic commissions - continue planning my novel and maybe start the first draft january goals:  - finish secret santa fic - publish [redacted] - work on sylvix dreamscape fic - edit klance hotel au (hopefully send to betas by end of month at least?) - maybe work on altea rising ch. 19

[snorlaxlovesme]

This is just uh. A thing. A long thing. I actually drafted it back in July during Pride Month but chickened out before I could post it. But then I discovered that Ace Week exists and what better time to rant about the quintessential Ace Experience(TM) amiright?

.

I’ve struggled to define my sexuality since I was like 17. I can remember me and some of my girl friends going to the mall and talking about boys. I was currently teetering around a relationship with one of our male friends and they asked me to define why I was attracted to him and I couldn’t. They didn’t really think anything of it, moved along in the conversation and said “well X isn’t my type, so I guess I wouldn’t get it.” But the conversation stuck with me.

1. Because I never really thought the idea of a “type” was real. I didn’t think people ACTUALLY arbitrarily decided who wasn’t worthy of their affection based on a random set of archetypes. I thought they were shallow for saying that about him. I thought it was a mean concept to not let someone be “your type.”

2. Not being able to identify what I DID find attractive about him was....off. Like sure, he looked fine, but tbh he looked like an average teenage white boy and I couldn’t really pick out a physical identifier that made me want him. That seemed like a bad thought to have about one’s significant other.

Needless to say, that non-relationship went nowhere and I eventually told him I wasn’t feeling it. I thought I just wasn’t mature enough for relationships yet.

At age 18 I had my first kiss. Another male friend of ours. Another relationship I’d been teetering around. I had told him multiple times that I didn’t like the idea of dating him so soon after I had broken things off with X. It felt weird, too soon, let’s hold off. But part of me also didn’t like the fact that I was 18 and had never been kissed. It wasn’t at the forethought of my mind all the time, but it lingered back there. Maybe it was because, puberty-wise, I was a late bloomer. Maybe it was because, in my friend group, I was always somehow dubbed “the innocent one.” I didn’t want to continue being late for every major marker in life, so when Y took me up on a hill at sunset and said “I’m going to kiss you now” I let him.

It was not what I thought it would be. All the magical descriptions of kisses in YA books were drastically over-selling the experience. The first one was nice enough, but I couldn’t help but thinking “this feels exactly like kissing a relative” and being a little relieved and little disappointment that the sensation was exactly the same. The second kiss was much worse because he put his tongue in my mouth and I quickly discovered I hateddd that.

I thought that maybe it was Y’s fault. I didn’t like him the way he liked me, so there was no magic. No spark. But also maybe I was just doing it wrong? He did kind of imply that I wasn’t the best kisser (god, how romantic) and so maybe the more we did it the more I would like it?

We went on one more date after that, and almost every time we made eye contact he tried to kiss me. It was horrible. I spent the better part of the day actively trying to not look at him because I didn’t know how to tell him I didn’t want to do it anymore. That seemed like a bad thought to have about one’s significant other.

Needless to say, it didn’t work out. I’d like to say I handled the situation as maturely as with X, but in reality I ghosted this kid for like 2.5 months and eventually sent him a facebook message saying I wasn’t feeling it. I figured I wasn’t mature enough for relationships yet.

College I had no time for relationships, or so I told myself. Maybe I didn’t have the mental capacity for them because I was too busy wishing I would get hit by a bus (higher education did not go great for someone with undiagnosed ADHD). I kind of assumed everyone also felt the same way, but people were coupling up around me left and right. Everyone had the same stressors I had, maybe even more so, and yet they had time to form new relationships and have noisy sex in the dorm room next to mine. I didn’t have time, though.

My roommate asked me in those first few years if maybe I was asexual. I actually got mad at her for even implying it. Asexuals were emotionless robots who were so repulsed by sex they didn’t even want to THINK about it. I talked about sex with my friends all the time! I masturbated when she wasn’t around like every other day! How dare she even insinuate that I might be one of those people. I just wasn’t ready to be in a relationship yet.

And sure, I’d been on tumblr for years at that point. I’d been relatively educated about the LGBT community and its various factions. But nothing about it screamed ME. All those people seemed to have the same shared experience of knowing who they were since forever, of experiencing some form of discrimination based on who they were. I had always been straight, right? And no one’s ever discriminated me for who I liked. 

It was weird, though. Getting older and hearing more and more people talking about sex and just like, NOT feeling the same way. Was talking to my friends in a group chat one day, and one of them was head over heels for one of her coworkers. Not in love, but I-wanna-rip-off-your-McDonald’s-uniform-and-fuck-you-right-here-in-the-break-room (do McD’s even have break rooms? whatever) lust. She’s like, “you know that electricity you feel when you’re next to someone you really, really like. where every time you get close to them you feel this MAGNETISM and your entire body feels hot--”

--and all I could think of was how that sounded EXACTLY how Bella described her feeling towards Edward in Twilight, and just how ridiculous it sounded. That’s some YA bullshit, that’s not real.

And then our other friend in the chat was like “yeah.”

Oh. Well I guess I just have a lower sex-drive than you guys. That’s whatever.

I didn’t really identify as asexual until I saw a post about an aspec identity called autochorissexuality. 

The term autochorissexual describes a subset of asexuality which is defined as: a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein.

That...kinda sounded like me....

Like I said, I masturbated and all that jazz so I assumed I couldn’t be asexual. I literally loved orgasms. I read smut and watched porn to get off like I assumed the rest of the world did, not even really realizing that a lot of people...get off...thinking about people doing stuff....to THEM.

I do not think about people I know when I masturbate. It feels incredibly weird for them to pop up in any of my fantasies, and I kinda just assumed that meant I wasn’t attracted to any of them (which I’m not), so it was fine. It didn’t really occur to me that I literally NEVER fantasize about myself when I get off. If I read smut I’m thinking of the characters. If I watch porn I’m thinking of the actors. Never am I imagining someone hot and sexy doing hot and sexy things to me. I’m not even very good at getting off based on my imagination alone, unless I’m basically writing my own smut in my head and imagining what THEY enjoy. The thought of imagining things being done to ME feels weirdly...embarrassing? I don’t know. I don’t dig it, so I don’t think it. 

Again, it did NOT even occur to me that that might not be how other people operated.

I also didn’t know that asexuality COULD have subcategories like that, other than aromanticism, which was an identity I toyed with for a while and ultimately am still unsure about.

But learning that liking orgasms =/= allosexual was kind of a wake-up for me. 

After learning about autochorissexuality (which, while I am incredibly, infinitely grateful that someone coined that term so I could learn more about myself, I will never identify as because it is a mouthful and I honestly don’t know how to pronounce it), I began identifying as asexual. I was 21 at the time. I’m almost 26 now.

A couple people know. Mostly people who follow me on tumblr that I also know in real life. I never really had to “come out” to them per se because they saw my posts and rolled with it. Wasn’t a big deal. I think that I actually had a conversation and TOLD those friends in that group chat, but that didn’t feel like coming out, more like all of us finally coming to a realization about me we should have figured out a lot earlier. Also, they’re friends from tumblr, so they’re not the types to make a big deal out of that stuff either.

Even though I have a couple of tumblr friends that I skype with regularly, I don’t really bring it up in conversation that much. Like two of my irl friends (who, again, follow me on tumblr) know, and we don’t really talk about it much either. It’s there, we all know, but if I don’t bring it up, they don’t either.

I’ve never really “come out” before. Had to sit someone down and have the conversation. Part of me thinks it’s kind of pointless, because whether or not I’m sexually attracted to others isn’t any anyone else’s business, really. It doesn’t super impact my work life or my life with my friends or family, so why does it need to be said? If I decided I liked women and wanted to date one, that would be a big change that I’d have to address to someone. But me being asexual is just me continuing to not have sex with anyone, the way I always have. Seems like a weird thing to cause a fuss about.

But it’s part of me. And I want to talk about it sometimes. 

But I don’t even know how that conversation would go. Asexuality is a relatively invisible subset of the LGBTQIA+ community. Like, it’s the last letter, the one that often gets cut off. And when people do bring up the A, it’s for Ally. I’m not gonna get into the discussion about that, I don’t know enough queer history to form a hot take, but the point still stands that many people don’t know about asexuality. And while it seems relatively easy to explain, I guess--

”I don’t experience sexual attraction”

--it also feels way more complex than that. And I’m not very good at articulating why I’m NOT something else when I have a hard time identifying what that something even IS. I was the kid who thought having a “type” was shallow and mean! It didn’t occur to me that people’s sexual fantasies INCLUDE THEMSELVES AS PARTICIPANTS. So how do I explain my lack of attraction to people?

But maybe I’m being too reductive of the masses. Like, I’m not the brightest bulb in the bunch but *I* was able to learn what was asexuality was on my own. Who’s to say others haven’t? Maybe I won’t need to give an informative slideshow every time I come out to someone.

...But what if I’m wrong? What if I get into a relationship one day and I find myself INCREDIBLY attracted to my partner? What if I get into a relationship with a WOMAN one day and realize that I was les/bi/pan this whole time? I know that demisexuality exists, I know that sexuality is a spectrum and people are constantly learning about themselves and evolving. I don’t want to downplay that or..or...invalidate that. I know. But I’m an idiot. And I can’t help feeling that if I come out and commit to fun new adjective about myself and then all of a sudden that adjective doesn’t fit me anymore I’ll be labelled as fraud for forever and ever. 

I know that’s probably unlikely for the most part. But it’s still something that’s there in my mind that I feel every time I think about talking about it.

I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t know why I’m writing this post because there isn’t some grand conclusion to my narrative or sweeping answer to my problems. My story continues for as long as I live and maybe things will change and maybe they won’t. I’d like to be able to come out one day and say it. To my sisters. To my coworkers. To some random dude hitting on me who seems kind enough to understand there’s a reason I’m reluctant to flirt back. Probably not to my parents. I don’t know if I want to present the slideshow to them about my lack of sex life, nor do I think they would handle my act of vulnerability with grace or tact (boomers, y’know).

I guess I can end this post by saying that it’s not all bad. Not being “out” kinda sucks, but right now, knowing is enough. There are a hundred other micro situations from my past similar to the ones I spelled out above that made me wonder what was wrong with me. I wanted to be able to like someone the way other people did, to have a normal relationship, but I couldn’t force myself to do it and I didn’t know what was stopping me. The whole am I just broken  conversation whirled through my head many a night in college when insomnia prevented me from sleeping and depression stopped me from giving myself a fucking break. It sucked, and maybe it’s a little grim to think of asexuality as a diagnosis to a lifetime of symptoms, but that’s kind of what it felt like.

And that’s not bad! Why? Because i know that I’m not alone and that this is NORMAL . Being asexual is not being broken! It’s something that many people identify with! And honestly that thought alone thrills me enough to make this whole ridiculous narrative worth it. There’s a whole world of people out there feeling the exact same way as me, and none of us are wrong for feeling that way. It is unreal the kind of confidence that gives you.

My friend from earlier, the one who desperately wanted to bang her co-worker, she said something to me the other day that struck me with how far I’ve come in terms of my identity. I was sobbing to her on the phone about a shitty thing in my life, as one does, and she pointed out how the strangest things will get to you while others don’t even have an effect. If someone mentions how I don’t have my drivers license at the ripe old age of 25 I legitimately have a breakdown on the phone with her about it, but if people make jokes about me being a virgin I don’t even bat an eye. 

And it IS weird. If someone would have made a virgin joke at me at age 20 I probably would have spiralled into one of my late-night, crying-into-my-pillow sessions about how much I fucking SUCK at being a human, but at age 25 it’s just...whatever. As someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction, why WOULD I have had sex already? If I don’t seek it out, don’t want it, it’s not gonna be a part of my life, you know? And I don’t care. Past me, without this identifier, would have cared deeply. Current me could go her entire life without having sex and I don’t think it would drastically effect her mood. 

It’s weird how one little word can turn things around for you like that.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Late to the slapping discourse but I think another thing is, well, p much everybody, be they makoto fans or haters, despise that confidant, especially due to eiko hogging up so much screentime, so seeing makoto slap her was likely pretty cathartic

sfdjkhla I get where ya coming from anon, but sorry you just reignited this fury inside me again I’mma just rant (not at you, just at the void that is tumblr, I’m just mad and I have more to say about this topic apparently laskfdj;af Just know you didn’t do anything wrong, but your ask did make me think of something new so yay!). Tho tbh, I’ve seen other Mako haters hate that she slaps Eiko for my similar reasons (aka Mako is a pretty bad person who gets away with some bad shit because she’s an main character and we need to be “on her side”). But I don’t think that slap should’ve been viewed as cathartic (tho I get WHY people do), or the fact that it is showcases a big (writing) problem.

(also sorry this is all over the place, I’m writing it very quickly, while quickly reviewing her CoOp, before I go to bed)

Y’all know I hate Makoto, and I think her CoOp is hot garbage, but I don’t actually blame Eiko for it tbh (I mean Ryuji/Anne’s are just fine with juggling other chars, despite having their own issues.....not so much are because of said side chars, it’s other things but again the side chars are juggled just fine with Anne/Ryu). I don’t really hate the char, I think she’s fine. She’s a pretty friendly person, maybe a tad airheadish but she’s not mean (at least she doesn’t say mean things without a reason). Hell I think she does her role pretty fine, it’s Makoto who fails to overcome flaws (mostly her hotheadedness and applying these new view points she’s learned). 

If the writers intended Makoto’s slap to be cathartic no offense but fuck those writers yo. Because it showcases Makoto really is unable to understand any other person’s mindset (at least in practice), does her own selfish shit, and gets rewarded even tho she hurt someone or failed to actually do the bare min to make up for shit she’s done (like the Kamo arc, sorry but you had her say it yourself writers “it’s not that I couldn’t do anything, it’s that I just didn’t care enough” your whole “adults make me do things I don’t want to/they are mean :(” bs doesn’t mesh well, you don’t actually resolve or address the flaw of that char, you just shoved responsibility onto someone else....with that something else isn’t really explored/expanded upon either). Basically, if that slap was cathartic, I think the writers failed....I mean they already did fail with them actually writing that slap in, but they failed at their theme/moral to boot.

So when I have Makoto, who’s CoOp literally starts out with her wanting to learn new perspectives (and you know, maybe kinda learning a little EMPATHY) it’s hard to argue she learned that shit when she literally is unable to do just that and slaps someone. As well as reinforce the fact SHE SHOULDN’T BE IN THE POSITION SHE IS IN (aka our planner/advisor/whatever). 1) It shows she can’t control her emotions (and if we’re gonna give Ryu shit, she def deserves it too), 2) she can’t come up with a gd plan to save her life (the best plan the PT came up with was the first dungeon in PQ2 and guess what? She wasn’t a part of it, gee I’d be shocked but....I’m not). 

It just showcases the poor writing ability of that writer. Makoto’s CoOp is about her learning new things about society and her peers she’s failing at, and ability to connect/understand the people around her....and at that freaking climax it just shows.....she didn’t learn shit. She’s been saying she did all CoOp, even basically says she understands why Eiko is acting that way, but what does she do with that info? Does’t apply it when confronting her and just reverts to bullheaded Makoto mode. It doesn’t matter what happens after, we don’t see her reconcile with Eiko, all that is off screen. In the climatic moment, she fails to accomplish the goal of what her CoOp set out to do....and she’s rewarded for it. She doesn’t realize why Eiko is upset, she doesn’t try to think of a backup plan in case her first one fails, she acts only on her own emotions in the moment. And no “her friend is in danger of prostitution so it’s now or never” is NOT a good excuse, you wanna know WHY? The freaking, change of heart part of the ENTIRE GD GAME! Any argument of “we can’t always use hear changes” goes out the gd window with like 90% of any problems we encounter when we can just go to the Metaverse (to even just interrogate tbh!). The only reason Anne/Yoshida work is because Anne’s we don’t know till the literal last second and by then it’s resolved itself, and Yoshida is dead set on fixing it himself! Makoto’s CoOp? No, that guy should be bumped from “shady boyfriend” to “yeah this guy is now on our request lists holy shit does he fit our MO”

But back to Eiko, yeah it’s great Makoto is expanding her horizons, so glad she knows what a cardigan is~! Too bad, despite actually knowing her friend’s circumstance and possibly why she’s acting that way, Makoto doesn’t approach it with the level of tact that is freaking needed. Showcasing she’s learnt nothing, nothing from her past mistakes, not from “these new viewpoints I’ve learnt,” nothing from knowing WHY her friend might be feeling this way. She literally just does what she’s been doing. She just has the smoke and mirrors benefit of saying “well I learnt a new viewpoint” but your actions speak louder than your words. You didn’t learn shit. 

Wait....no I’m not giving Makoto enough credit, haha, you see she did learn something, at the beginning of the CoOp, and that’s actually not ignoring something shady going on. Unlike with the Kamo arc. My bad, so instead of seeing her bull her way through feeling “forced” to do something, we see her bulling her way through “caring” this time. But here’s the thing, that wasn’t her arc for this CoOp, her understanding other viewpoints was. She failed. Somehow she freaking failed. It’s a talent Makoto! It’s a real talent you have there!

You know why I think Makoto/Eiko thing pisses me off so much? I have a friend that reminds me a lot of Eiko. She’s nice, def a girly gal type person, as well as other things. She had just begun dating someone I deemed a red flag (not Tsukasa bad like selling yourself or that she was in any kinda danger, but still a “yeah you should know” kinda thing....like...I’d feel bad if I didn’t know about it and I was in her position kinda thing). And you know what I did? Did I take her out into public on a crowded street and yell at her and say you need to break up with him and when she got (pretty rightfully) defensive I then slapped her and got on my high horse and was like “I’m doing this for your own good! YOU  don’t understand MY position, what I’M going through, but you need to know what I’m doing is for the BEST!”? No. That never crossed my freaking mind cause I’m not a psychopath. I instead, took her out for ice cream, sat in a more remote spot for privacy, and reassured her of her emotions and own autonomy and that I cared and that I understand she cares about things and I’m coming from a place of good faith and I wasn’t there to attack her, and then I broke the news to her. You know what she did? She laughed, was happy I was a normal human being with some tact, said she wished another friend of hers did what I did instead of through text. Said she’d take what I said into consideration. She broke up with him a few months later.....cause he was a twat apparently, but our friendship was well in tact and strengthened. And I was barely a year older than Makoto was at the time, AND a super awkward honor student AND my friendship with her was about as new as Mako’s and Eiko’s (AND we were very much opposites like those two hell even more so).

I dunno, it just would’ve been so much more impactful if Makoto, instead of slapping Eiko after she called Mako a “bitch.” Mako stepped forward (making everyone think she’s going to be physical but instead it showcases Makoto thinking rationally for once), looked Eiko in the eye and said “What you think of me is not all that I am. And even if you hate me, know I still think of you as my friend and will be here for you for whatever reason. But I won’t let you throw your life away, not for this scum of a human being. *turns to Tsukasa* Listen to me asshole, I say this not as some honor student, but as Eiko’s friend. You will be delivered justice, and you will apologize to Eiko and all the other girls who’s lives you’ve ruined” to which we either get Tsukasa’s name via asking around (low key Ichiko could probably help), or by getting it from Shadow!Eiko in the metaverse. The next rank we see Eiko and Mako making up, and Mako explains how she’s more than just an honor student (basically the shit she says after she slaps Eiko), and Eiko apologizes for all the mean things she said in the moment and how she felt afraid or whatever other stuff they wanna add to deepen her char or whatever. And we have a theme kept intact, and Eiko even learns about new perspectives (as well as reinforcing this whole moral/theme to the viewer)....but we legit get to see this development for her, and we learn how to do it with compassion and understanding and not ‘slap to be dramatic~!’ bs (because then it comes off as like....using force to change someone’s behavior.....and like????? probably not the best message ESP for P5′s setting). You can dislike Eiko, but the CoOp technically became just as much as her arc as Mako’s and the fact we don’t see the resolution is poor. (btw the “how/when” it would’ve taken place would’ve been rank 9 still, we just wouldn’t rank up till the mementos mission was done, that or restructure the link but the former is easier)

So....yeah....maybe it’s the fact that Makoto’s CoOP belittles how teens can actually resolve these problems. Maybe it’s the fact we’re supposed to root for Mako’s bad behavior. Maybe it’s the fact when it came down to the wire, Mako didn’t utilize the knowledge she has been bragging about getting over the CoOp. Maybe it’s the fact she resorted to violence when there was another avenue to take. Maybe it’s the fact we never see Makoto actually hit a bad guy/aggressor (instead we have to save her from those) but instead only see her hitting her so called friends. Maybe it’s the fact of her showcasing flaws that she shouldn’t have (her hotheadedness and shitty planning skills). Or maybe it’s the fact we root for a “cathartic slap” in favor of doing what this CoOp is supposed to be: teaching Makoto AND the viewer about learning to see someone else’s perspective, and coming up with a plan that we never would’ve thought of to help fix that issue. Sacrificing a big theme/moral of the CoOp for something “dramatic.”

But I don’t know why I should be shocked, this is P5. Contradictions everywhere, in the lore, in the themes, in the writing, in the morals. Just. Everywhere.