#tbh I don’t think she would ever do it
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predicting taylor swift x fortnite the game collab
#tbh I don��t think she would ever do it#but considering how big their guitar hero spinoff has gotten and with tons of artists collabing with epic to get their songs in the library#and lady fucking gaga being the current face of that spinoff#maybe one day
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crying whenever i talk about Cookie9 because all my friends have these interesting and unique theories on them while i take everything too literally and they all just stare at me like “dude… uuugh we r TIRED” <-they dont actually say this they are very kind to me but i can Feel It
#my version of them is centered around their blog version with the ‘personality’ of their steam review and like a bunch of HC#i developed them with the implication that they’re Real but i’m a bit iffy on it#because all my friends have theories about how they’re from the narrator’s consciousness which is sick as hell#and i’m unsure how to actually structure everything or if i should go the same route so i can get approval from them </3#my friends r the real reviewer fans even though they dont plague themselves over them every day and im so sad that i don’t know anythinggg#gggggggggggg#like im p sure they genuinely hate the stuff i make about cookie9 and im just. scrumbles myself. sorry im Trying :( i’m not smart#or good at writing or even media literate#whatever that term means#all i have is love in my heart for them i don’t know anything at all#ouhghghhg they hate It so much but i cant do anything else and it’s all i have#like all my cookie9 stuff works on the ‘what if their blog self Was Real’ but i’m not actually sure how to fit it all into my actual parabl#stuff because i still havent worked out how my parable itself works#and people probably don’t think i know enough and i don’t think they’ll approve if i try. so i Don’t#tempted to blame this on my like. general crushing lack of intelligence caused by both physical and mental reasons#but i want to believe i could do better if i try? but that’s incredibly hopeful#i’ll be stuck here forever i think#<-guy who. whenever Anything wrong happens ever. just goes back to ‘oh yeah its because im dumb as fuckign rocks. due to the Incidents’#i am very scared of the possibility that it is possible for me to be anything more because that implies that i’m stupid because i didnt try#even though i’m trying very very fucking hard and every time i get something wrong way more than anyone else i’ve ever known#and they hate me for it . MAN!!!!!!!!!#<-brain is lying 2 me i think nobody hates me or . whatever. it still feels like it though im just saying this because i dont want anyone t#think people genuinely hate me for being stupid. i mean. people DO. but not my friends ☝️#man i can’t even get into the buglivia crap either because she is so abstracted from her actual review#girl w identity issues and also the general normal Changing A Lot Through Time. i scrumble her. around#her Self during 2018 would in fact be in character for the review.i want to draw her during that time. she took everything so seriously </3#tbh my version of her does react well to TSP humor but at the time she felt like she wasn’t allowed 2 Do Her Thing and tried to seem#more professional and Normal and it seeped into EVERYTHING for a bit#cookie9 though just genuinely found the narrator annoying and patronizing. its just not his thing and thats fine#<-random nonsensechemical reviewer bits hidden inside the vents. SEND POST.
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Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:
Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#lok malina#still feel like that’s too vague of a tag but I can’t come up with anything better for now#and yeah. she has completely stolen by heart and I don’t know how to feel about that#don’t think I ever was this attracted to my own art before#to be fair the design isn’t mine. it’s very heavily based on something nina drew back in 2021#because I did not have the energy or creativity to come up with my own thing#but the art is all mine and I genuinely adore it. super proud of myself which is a rare occurrence#anyways. kat and I spent three days digging this niche lower and lower and now have a he#*hell of a lot of lore about this basically nonexistent character#for lore about a lady from the North Pole a lot of it is rather hot… to the point my cheeks are burning non stop#I would say I’d let her do anything she wants to me but in my very specific aroace-adjacent case it’s more like#I’d let her tell me to do anything she wants to her#if that makes any sense and I have not completely lost my goddamn mind yet#okay. enough yapping. back to the art itself#lazy background because I suck at those and am not currently attempting to learn them. I’ll probably do that over the summer#about time anyway. my characters have been placed against an off-white background for far. far too long#this is the first piece in just over a year that isn’t tagged with sotrl. which is kinda weird tbh#I’ve been drawing my OCs almost exclusively for nearly 5 years so it is genuinely surprise I’m branching out#*surprising#less branching out and more diving from one hole into another but y’know#anyway. in my personal and very correct opinion she turned out absolutely gorgeous#her servants are way too lucky and unalaq is way too much of an idiot. no offence to vaatu but he could never beat out this#and I also have Kat’s personal and very correct opinion to back up my own. two against the void. once again we’re winning#I wanna draw her a lot more bc she has completely possessed my brain. I just wish character interactions were easier to draw 😭#I’ll figure it out. just need to fight my visualisation issues for a proper idea. brb#okay I’m almost at the tag limit so. in summary:#she 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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I don’t actually believe this, but I do think it would be funny to introduce this point to tired years-old discourse: even if Nancy did cheat on Steve, it would be chill because she gets a freebie after he falsely accused her of cheating via extremely public libel in S1. Not her fault he manifested it!!!
#can you imagine#again I don’t actually believe this#(I also don’t believe she cheated on him because he had fair notice that she might be done)#(the medium—skipping town with Jonathan after Steve told her she was BS—is the message)#but I do kinda think this every time someone is like#‘I wrote a fic where Nancy is called out for cheating on Steve!’#or writes meta about how she ‘needs to face consequences’#like. what more would you have done to her. you sickos.#tbh one of the most revealing comments I ever saw#was a post that was like ‘the show acts like it’s fine that Nancy broke up with Steve’#I know they didn’t mean that but they kinda meant it
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I think one of the weirdest signs that I was trans was that I was fine with being called a woman but NOT a cis woman. I felt awful cuz I was like “do I have a problem with people calling me cis even tho I am???” cuz I am NOT someone who minds being called accurate descriptors such as cis. I felt like I just wanted to be special or something even tho that wasn’t it and felt so bad. Something just felt really wrong about being called a CIS woman. Definitely one of the more thought provoking signs I was trans lol
#was it cuz ‘cis’ implied I had accepted it? idk cuz I WAS fine with being a woman (as far as I knew)#just some weird subconscious thing I guess. I remember admitting it to my sister at the time lol#I don’t think there are rlly many other interesting signs for me tbh. except that I only corrected ppl online when they called me he if it#either went on so long that I felt bad for them OR we were arguing and I needed something new for them to be wrong about lmao#but similar to the actual post there is ONE thing I still find interesting. which is I watched a gacha cringe video (some were ridiculous#but I often defended them) and there were some where it said ‘I wish I was a boy so I could be gay’ and everyone’s like being disgusted by#this presumably little girl acting like she’s the creepiest fujoshi ever but LITERALLY I’ve had similar thoughts. anything that starts with#‘I wish I was a boy’ obviously has trans implications even if you don’t like what comes after it lol. but like honestly. I would imagine#myself in relationships with guys (mostly fictional characters as u do) and I just hated the idea that it was straight#like same situation as the post. I felt awful cuz I would be FINE with being straight (which I knew I wasn’t anyways) so why did I need to#be special or whatever? it’s cuz just like the post that WASNT the problem. it just felt wrong to me that I wasn’t a boy. so I BASICALLY#wanted to be a boy so I could be in a mlm relationship just like those gachas. it’s just a roundabout way of realizing ur trans.#to be clear I very much had to imagine myself as a guy (typically another fictional character DUH) in order to enjoy it at all#I just realized this sounds sexual. most of it wasn’t actually but the rest is my business LMAOO
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my boss just said it’s not her job to know who is/isn’t taking the day off.
uh. one small issue with that statement. She is the only one who can approve/deny our time off.
So if she approves it, how is it not her job 🤔
Oh and also she only has to do this for 8 employees. It’s not a lot to keep track of. Plus we can only request time off through our employee portal so it’s not like she can “forget” since all she has to do is look at the calendar.
but I can’t point that out to her without getting fed to rabid dogs so :)
#this came up because 2 people called off on the same day#now. this is an office. not a restaurant. not a store. it literally doesn’t matter if 2 people are out#but my boss is a dumbass and got mad that SHE approved 2 people out???#so she forced one of them to come in today. unfortunately it is one of the boomers I work with#so she’s been complaining all day#idk why she came in. my boss would not have done anything if she didn’t show up. these 2 are untouchable here#they’re just collecting checks till retirement. no one will ever force them to do anything. they think they’re the bosses tbh#why didn’t she just stay home like. you don’t do any work anyway
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#nini’s nonsense#sometimes i think about the fact that people around me. even the ones closest to me. know so little of me. because i have a cousin who#recently told me she has a gf and she’s bi and was like. yeah i didn’t think you’d judge but you also never know yk. and i mean. i do know.#better than anyone in our fam probs. but also. it just put into perspective how little they’ll all ever know me because ofc my sexuality is#not who i am at all but it’s such a big part of me as well and the fact that no one irl knows and no one will probs ever know. sigh#it’s an exhausting thought tbh#but i come from such a religious family i don’t ever see it going well. and on the other hand i have made the agreement with myself that i#won’t ever date girls anyway. so yeah. idk. sigh sigh cry cry etc etc#and also. i had a wedding this week and weddings always make me realize i’ll probs never have one of my own. for so many reasons. and on one#hand i am happy but on the other hand the want is there and i know it’ll probs never be fulfilled because i would be a terrible partner#and yeah. idk the passing of time is just fucking me up a bit i guess. it’ll hopefully pass soon.#i really need to properly write about all this. maybe then i’ll finally be able to breathe again.#ANYWAYS. so happy my bby told me so happy for her they’re THE CUTEST omg
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sunflowers was not my favourite TL episode. it had some really good moments and other moments i was like eeehhhhh about. but overall i did enjoy it and i look forward to seeing where the characters go from here
#much to think about tbh#didn’t love and don’t buy that rebecca would get drunk and stay over on some random man’s boathouse in a diff country#with no way to communicate with anyone she knows#but i suppose i can suspend my belief. bc i do like the overall arc she went through that ep#loooooved jamie/roy (for the most part. i have some pet peeves re: roy’s anger)#the team having a pillow fight 🥹 colin and trent 🥹#ted only really wanting to spend the night with rebecca mmmhmmmm i see u#but also loved his overall arc too. revisiting america in a way through the restaurant#him sitting down and trying to figure out a new strategy for the team. when his heart hasn’t really been in it lately#like yessss out of the dark forest we go thanks#anyway these are all half baked thoughts and i dooo want to rewatch bc i know i missed stuff#also very interested to see where keeley’s storyline goes#i don’t actually love that they pulled her out of the building this season#like idk if her new office is really working for me#but i am interested by how many times she has (unintentionally) left rebecca hanging ever since jack started coming around
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If someone could just like…. Stab me through the eye that would be great idk
#idk what it is about today but I feel… terrible#not physically just mentally#and not even in a way that’s easy to place I just want to lay in the floor and melt into it#tbh I think it is premature exhaustion and anxiety ABOUT the exhaustion#because tomorrow we have two new apartment tours#and then Thursday (which is my other day off this week) I have that first therapy appointment#so my brain is not classifying either of those days as actual ‘days off’#(and I mean they’re not they will both be extremely draining)#AND THEN one of the store’s big managers insisted on doing the schedule instead of letting our department manager do it#so it’s sooooo fucked up and I won’t have a day off until NEXT Thursday and he scheduled me a bunch of inconsistent morning/evening shifts#so…. I am…. going to have literally no free time for like two weeks straight#no time to decompress no time to do things I think are fun no time to catch up on sleep#and my mom keeps messaging me about getting a new car which yes I need a new car and I WANT a new car and I’m finally in a position to GET#a new car#but she’s like ‘you have to go test drive a bunch of cars to find the one you REALLY want and then we’ll negotiate for it with you’#but I cannot stress enough that I would genuinely rather kill myself than go to a dealer ship and test drive cars by myself#I also just do not give a shit about cars there is never going to be one I ‘love’ because cars are cars I just want one that functions#I don’t CARE which one it is or how it drives or what the fuck ever I will NEVER care#but she keeps insisting I do it and I know they won’t help me go negotiate if I don’t do this first 😭#and I have a dentist appointment for the first time in like three years in a couple weeks and I know I probably have so many cavities#from when I got super depressed for like four months and didn’t brush my teeth at all#and I am just so overwhelmed#new apartment hunting new car shopping new therapist dentist appointment AAAGGGHHHH#I thought it might be a good idea to do it all at once so it’s all over with and I don’t have to have like four month period where it’s just#hopping from one thing to the other#except now I am just exhausted and overwhelmed and grumpy and feel like I can’t handle ANY of it let alone all of it#maybe one of the new apartments will go well tomorrow so at least I can cross that off and budget new rent prices….#ugh#kaz rambles
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🙃
#also I finally told my mom that I’m smoking whenever I go out to my car#cause I was getting sick of her asking ‘oh where are you going’#dude I’ve left the house a few times today what do you think I’m doing?#but she’s super religious and literally NOTHING I say while ever change her mind about weed#so she goes#‘well is there anything that will make you happy besides DRUGS?’#and I’m like oooooooofda#I’m not in the mood for this conversation#so I went#‘well I don’t think it’s a drug tbh but that’s a different conversation.’#‘but if I didn’t I would literally be in my bed the entire day sooooooo’#and then I left#I love my parents so so so much#but damn I wish they understood where I was coming from#or at least tried#I know my parents would both benefit from cbd or just any pain relief cause they’re both in so much pain#but noOooOoOoOoOoOoO#weed is a gateway drug#and they think (even though I’ve been smoking for how many fucking years now) that I#*im going to start meth and crack and all of those drugs soon#obviously#ughhhhhHHHHHHHHh#all I want to do is smoke and paint#but I can’t#and it’s driving me fucking crazy#shut up rosie
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Not only did Athena have a shitty husband but he was also a drug addict and alcoholic to a point where she had to take care of him and it stressed her out. I think posted about it on Facebook at one point. And now her ex passed away at the beginning of this year I think
Imagine if the show came back and the producers want to chronicle her life grieving like let her do it in peace
bro why is she an actual saint…and second of all stop trying to make fetch happen!!! /j pls don’t bring that energy into the world though anonnie we don’t need a rehash of the worlds most useless show. besides why would she grieve a man that only caused her stress. I’m sure she’s moved on long ago and doesn’t need to grieve someone who treated her so badly. the only ppl who were grieving were probably their kids but…that’s most likely it. athena would probably never do a show like this again tbh i just don’t see her going back to something like this. oh, and you know how producers love to milk drama like that too. either way, im shuddering at the very thought of a ex wives of rock reboot. they don’t even talk to each other probably so it wouldn’t make sense anyways. pls don’t scare me like that again!! /j
#rocker wives#athena don’t need to grieve the deadbeat tbh#like if a man only ever caused me stress and pain throughout our relationship i would pretend he didn’t exist the moment we break up#don’t think she’d ever agree to do a show where she had to pretend to be sad about that man#she’s not an actress for a reason#but the producers would totally milk that situation 100%#lily of the asks
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Yesterday I had the realization that back in the early-mid 2010s, I had a pretty huge squish on my marching band section leader who I haven’t seen regularly in a decade and last saw probably 8 years ago. It’s like oh so that’s what was going on.
#no we never really became close#but we hung out in a larger group settings#both of us got the hell out of town once we graduated and never looked back from what I can tell#I hope she’s doing well#probably won’t ever see her again but that’s okay#tbh I don’t even know if she even wanted to become close friends#I also think a lot of people I knew in high school probably only remember me by my best friend and wouldn’t want to associate with me so#because of her#but to be fair#I have kept her at a distance for the past 4 years#which is sad because I’ve also distanced myself from my other best friend from those days as a result and like that was not intended#Erica if you read this it’s not me lol#I doubt she would ever see this though#also why the fuck did it suggest the names of the Columbine shooters when it typed in Érica#don’t do her dirty like that tumblr 🖕🏻
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ballad fandom i am once again in need of your feedback 🩷. i only included two options bc im curious what answers the question more, idrc if its a mix of both answers
#lucy gray baird#billy taupe claude#i made a long post about this way back then i’m curious about the consensus#i think having her do is as mostly strategy is interesting#but i also think it erases so much of her teenage girlness#like obv she was forced to grow up so fast and she does flirt to survive in d12#which billy taupe and lucy gray herself confirm#so i don’t doubt that she was making a conscious effort to flirt w snow#but i also don’t think every decision she made afterward was to fuck w him#like to me she’s just someone that went thru heartbreak and the most crazy betrayal ever#and then sees a (canontically) attractive guy who (outwardly) seems like he cares about the other tributes#so she’s like yeah ok. pucker up#anyway lemme stop bc im just rehashing what i said in the long post#but i’ve been telling someone repeatedly that my view of lucy gray would prob change as i re-read it when i got older#but i’m re-reading it now like five years later and tbh nothing has changed she still seems so incredibly 16 even despite her circumstances#coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes
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I swear to god everything from the weather to my equipment to my neighbours to my own fucking body is conspiring to make sure I don’t get a good run this week
#let me see if i can get the timeline right here#tried to run on sunday but my treadmill was acting up by making the loudest knocking noises i have ever heard in my LIFE#after some consultation with google and the manual and my mother (who i assume knows everything) i realised i hadn’t oiled it since i bought#it in uhhhhhh fucking september. so i oiled it. couldn’t run on it same night because i was worried about oil#so i was like fine okay. postpone one day. that was monday. my period arrived 4 days late and with a ferocity that had me hiding#under a blanket and praying for death. fine. postpone one more day#tried to run yesterday and my leggings kept falling down. so much that i rage quit. i think i ran 5 minutes in total#i didn’t even think oh let me get changed and try again. i just decided it was all over for me#postponed until TODAY. the hottest fucking day i have experienced since last summer. fab#tell me why i was 100% in the zone and my neighbour came and BANGED ON THE WINDOW AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME#we are all very lucky i didn’t fall off. if she’d caused me to dislocate my knee (my recurring body problem 🙃) i would genuinely have killed#her. she would be an ex-person#and the kicker is ALL SHE WANTED TO KNOW WAS IF I WOULD FEED THE HEDGEHOG AND WATER HER PLANTS WHILE SHE IS GONE#this isn’t a personal pet hedgehog or anything like that mind you. this is a wild hedgehog. it can feed itself#i was like yes of course i will IF you promise me you’ll never surprise a person on a treadmill ever again#she slunk off home like a kicked dog. like i’m sorry but if you don’t want to be yelled at about the consequences of your actions#don’t be a dick#i’d be less mean if she hadn’t witnessed me this time last year hobbling around with a cane#if she didn’t know the absolute MONTHS OF AGONY i went through just to be able to stand long enough to do normal activities like cooking#and showering; i’d be a little more lenient. but woman you can see me running on the treadmill i bought TO TEACH MYSELF TO WALK#WITHOUT A LIMP AGAIN. back in september i was stumbling along on that thing at 2km an hour. do you want me back there??????#drove me a little insane tbh#anyway i did finish my run. i wouldn’t say it was a GOOD run. almost having a heart attack kind of took me out of the zone#and i never got it back again. count your FUCKING days jean#personal
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Okay I know I don’t shut up about it but let me scream okay 😭
#I just saw a post on Twitter about the feeling of not having teenage romantic interaction and how it leaves you feeling really wrong#and everyone in the comments is like 17-19 and here I am at 25 thinking about how#well anyways I’m sorry I know it’s silly I’m just a little tired is all#being lonely stinks 🫠 and I don’t ever want y’all to feel burdened by my feelings#so I try not to make those feelings seem so big#I should start tagging these again#my talk posts ? I used to tag them but I would forget#I guess I’ll do that from now on#melifails#oh oh since I already made this post I might as well blab#I 😭 am high key tempted to download tinder#I don’t *want* to actually use it I just wanted to see 👉🏽👈🏽#but I think you need an account and idk I don’t wanna seem desperate#not in a shaming other people and myself type of way#absolutely not I think it’s awesome that it exists#I mean in a ‘my mom used to brag about how I didn’t care about boys only school to all the family members at parties’ type of way#in a ‘Melissa be honest are you a lesbian?’ badgered type of way#in a ‘because if you are I love you’ ‘no boys just don’t like me’ type of way#in a ‘never admitting to my mom I’m very lonely and only alive for my family’ type#of way#that one didn’t let me finish 🗣️#anywyas I feel very shallow because this doesn’t really matter does it#there are real problems in the world and I’m but a spec of dust waiting to be scooped up by the broom#🧎🏽♀️ I’m sorry I’m making it seem like a bigger deal than it really is#I’ll be better about it#all that aside#my best friend invited me to go to universal in September and I 😤😤 I gotta prepare myself for the burden of prolonged outdoor activities#🥺 tbh I’m scared I’m not going to fit in the seats for the rides#that’s how we became friends: she stuck with me when I didn’t fit on a ride. I never told her that was the day I loved her and it still make#me cry. forever grateful for her and I want her to be happy she’s the Eli I’m always talking about :3 anyways this is my last tag (30limit)
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