#and I am just so overwhelmed

[inkskinned]

i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.

"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.

my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.

i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."

"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."

"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."

[itseghost]

very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.

[nikothebookdragon]

hey btw. being platonically in love is so real btw. having a silly text convo with your friend and thinking "I love you" with every message. studying together in silence and feeling the most comfortable you've been in years. having a huge cheesy grin on your face after you spend time together, or even just text for a bit. your worries becoming a little easier to bear when they hug you. worrying about them, wishing you could magically give them all the happiness in the world.

being platonically in love is one of my favourite feelings in the world, and you know what? I'm so grateful that being aspec let me experience this in full. I fucking love being on the aromantic spectrum <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!

[mossy-aro]

ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.

when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!

that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.

but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!

joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.

and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.

tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.

[forzathunder]

"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity

that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him

[qqueenofhades]

my mom was defeatist when she found out biden dropped out of the race, but i told her i was having hope. seeing the posts about the donations rolling in, i think my hope is well placed

Hold your ground! HOLD YOUR GROUND!

Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day!

An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down -- but it is not this day! This day we fight!

By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!

[sketchy-tour]

HELLO HI HELLO I AM!!! RECOVERING CURRENTLY!!!!

So I haven't posted in a small moment and planned to get myself going again soon but right now I am recovering from an accident (I won't get into the nitty gritty) that has left me quite shaken. FIRST OFF I AM OKAY! Minor injuries so nothing alarming I am physically fine besides being sore for a bit and some scrapes and bruises that are still healing, including my arms which is making drawing a bit difficult. I'm slowly getting better but cant really draw for long periods and honestly I might not draw much for a bit till I feel better both physically and mentally. its the mentally part that might take some time. But I'm resting, rest assured!

ANYWAY this is more just an update cause I know i've been a lil absent. ESPECIALLY after this accident. I'm not abandoning the blog by any means, def still check on tumblr but couldn't seem to muster the energy to interact with much at the moment as my brain is a little rattled up.

I hope yall are all okay! I hope your days are bright and yall are taking care of yourselves!

I promise I'm doing what I can to take care of me!

[saudariel]

It would seem, even wounds that have endured an age can sometimes yet be healed.

[artromanthur-lester]

a malevolent fanart? on a blog with a malevolent reference in the username? it may seem unlikely.

(doctor who quote my beloved)

[id: a coloured image of arthur lester from malevolent, drawn waist up. he is a white man with short brown hair and a moustache, wearing a white shirt with some red splashes. his skin is covered in scars which resemble cartoonish yellow stars and his left pinky is wooden. he is gently kissing his left hand while standing half-turned back to the viewer. next to him a text in big white letters reads “do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?”. the background is yellow. end id]

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Can we have mama Ben with his youngest moth baby? I need more mama Ben moments.

Sorry for giving so many asks. I just really love your works-

ok you reminded me of that goddamn touching scene when Ben/Big Chill said goodbye to the baby and im just 😭 suddenly got emotional, so i hope you won't mind an angsty doodle???

i know that its canon that Ben forgot about the whole alien pregnancy thing (and that the fandom collectively decided that he is a lying liar who lied about it lol), but i like to think that sometimes he gets dreams about tiny little creatures that have his dna somewhere out there in boundless space.

[bakudekublogblog]

kacchan really is so funny for being like BUT WHAT ABOUT BAKUDEKU CANON when he finds out izuku is quirkless

[deltaruminations]

what if gaster in a future chapter calls out the audience for speculating so much about him. the guy canonically has some amount of access to Real Life Social Media. like i started this mostly as a joke but there are definitely some real metanarrative opportunities for a character with recklessly curious impulses, and possibly a fragile sense of self, having nearly limitless access to streams of debate over whether or not he’s a bastard. rude to talk about someone who’s listening etc

[qkmlh]

I loved Into the Spiderverse and it was a beautiful and game changing movie but Across the Spiderverse?? Oh it is special!!

Seeing Rio and Jeff and Miles and the way they communicate and the spanglish and Mile’s B in Spanish immediately riling his parents and the panadería with the lady decorating the cake and telling Miles to write shorter and the counselor’s let’s play up the struggling immigrant family angle that isn’t even true and everyone gathered around the way the do and Mile’s tia immediately going míralo!! Look how big you’ve gotten and the way she gets so close exactly the way tias just do and all the different dishes and the carne guisada con papa y zanahoria and Rio’s “I bet she doesn’t even speak Spanish” looking Mile’s and Gwen’s way and!!

“Bendición mami.” y “Que Dios te bendiga, mijo.”

And Miles’ grabbing Miguel an empanada and immediately going Tio!! And the ever so detailed difference between Miles’ and Miguel’s pronunciation and accents and speed and fluidity of which they speak Spanish and English and Spanglish because there’s also the generational differences and and and!!!

All of it!! Every single beautiful and wonderful detail I can’t remember right now because this is getting long but that’s so easy to see and process and feels just right and so natural because it’s done with such care and love and respect it is so so special!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A new challenger approaches (slowly)

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[teaboot]

(I'm a security guard.)