#tbh I didn't care about them at all on my initial read but now that I'm going through the anime all I can think about

[agnesandhilda]

reonagi is wild because one of them is the heir to japanese amazon with all the ignorance and entitlement that entails and the other is a regular guy and I'm fully convinced that the billionaire deserves better

[boop-le-snoot]

masterlist

dirt

sundress+no panties+daryl = uh oh...

title and soundtrack is dirt by depeche mode. you need to take depeche mode away from me tbh, I'm hung up on the exciter album writing smut when I should be making updates to my negan and ironstrange fics.

I also headcanon daryl having huge fat swinging balls for some reason and I'm so sorry you had to read that I turn into an animal when I write daryl

cw: 18+, word count 3k. a little rough (butt slaps, some bites, he calls you a "bitch in heat" and a "slut" a couple of times - lovingly of course), a little pervy (you're fucking outside and daryl eats his own come out of your pussy+breeding kink if you squint really hard).

He reaches in, fingers curling around the bunched up, patterned cotton of the dress and his mind blanks. The low growling, he realises, is coming from his own mouth.

"The fuck, girl?"

You look at Daryl over your shoulder, where the bare skin has erupted in goosebumps from his hot, humid breath. "What?"

You sound annoyed, but there's a distinctive teasing undertone to it. Your eyes are narrowed a little too much. The corners of your cherry-tinted lips are tilted upwards.

"You ripped all my damn underwear, Daryl! What did you expect?" You grouch, breaking the second of still silence. "Can't just take a stroll to Victoria's Secret anymore, can I?" Seeing his face darken even more, you hastily add, "I got a couple I wear on runs."

You sound so cute when you're annoyed, Daryl thinks, but it's overshadowed by his blood rushing in his ears, hot and fast. His cock is still pulsing in his jeans and it demands to be released.

"So you jus' walkin' 'round with allat juicy ass hangin' out fo' all da men to sniff?" Daryl feels an urge to clarify to you, what is exactly you're doing, that he's upset with. "Cuz that's exactly what all them dawgs are fuckin' doin'!" He's jealous, of course he is, but most importantly, he doesn't trust any of the men as far as he can see them.

Hell, he isn't completely sure even Rick would pass on the opportunity to get an eyeful of your soft thighs, your scrumptious ass, or your fat cunt, for that matter.

Lord knows they're the juiciest fucking things he has seen in his whole entire miserable life. Just thinking about it makes his rock hard cock twitch and release a sad dribble of pre-cum in his pants.

"Exactly, your girl!" You declare, eyeroll audible in your voice. "Nobody's seein' me without my panties 'cept you."

Daryl's only response is to hitch up the sundress higher, the movement so quick, the fabric gives a sad crack as the seams threaten to burst. Your ass is still bare, still round and smooth as ever, nobody should have this sort of curves while they're in the middle of a damn apocalypse, he thinks, and sinks to his knees and sinks his teeth into the supple skin of your right ass cheek.

You yelp at the sharp pain. You squirm, your attempt at getting away, of course, futile: your hips and waist are firmly in his grasp. Rough fingertips dig into you, just shy of painful.

"There," Daryl inches back a bit, admiring the indentations left behind by his teeth. For someone who forgets to take care of himself most days, his teeth are surprisingly straight and white and strong. And he lets you feel it. "Now if any asshole decides to go nosin' where he shouldn't, there'll be a warnin'." Daryl sounds proud of himself, which is all and all - fair.

Once the initial shock subsides, your feel your cunt lips stick together even more as your arousal oozes out of them- and down your thighs, now that there isn't any fabric to contain it all. In all honesty, you did enjoy the occasional breeze that would waft up your skirt, even if it didn't offer much respite from the sweltering summer heat.

And Daryl is definitely not helping matters, either. He's like a damn furnace, pressed up against the back of your legs, all solid bulk, breathing hot and moist into your skin, every exhale going around the curve of your ass and disappearing between your legs. He knows it the moment that you shift in place, subtly trying to widen your stance even though there is nothing more you want than to rub your thighs together to provide relief to your swollen lips and throbbing clit.

He raises a hand, wide and open-palmed, and smacks your ass. "You're such a fuckin' slut," he grouses. And your first instinct is to gasp at the offense; you hide your grin in a lip bite. Yes, yes you are. And you know it. And he knows it. Your ass cheek jiggles as he gives it another well-aimed slap. "Lookit you," Daryl presses the issue, "drippin' wet." To hammer his point home, he takes a thick, fat finger and runs it along the seam of your cunt.

It glides easily. You shudder, biting back a moan. Your legs shake just a little, but Daryl notices - he always does - and his finger dips inside your lips. The rough, calloused fingertip swipes through your labia, stopping just short of your clit. You whine and he withdraws.

His numerous knives and tools clatter as he abruptly gets up.

"You wanna be fucked, huh?" Voice quiet, Daryl's front presses to your back with a malicious intent. The prominent bulge of his erection is pushing into your back. "Is that why you goin' round naked? So anybody coulda bend you over, anytime, huh?" He reaches around you, hand blindly nosing for your face. When he finds it, he wastes no time in prying your mouth open, sticking the damp finger inside.

Your own cunt, salty and tangy, blossoms on your tongue. The gesture makes you moan around his finger and him- he sticks another one in, keeping you quiet.

"Shut the fuck up," Daryl orders. The rasp in his voice makes your knees buck and your cunt weep and he knows it. His free hand moves at your back, and with the accompanying noises, you come to realise that he's opening his pants and hurrying to free his dick.

When the damp, silky tip touches the bare skin of your ass, your body reacts before you do. Your mouth wraps tighter around his fingers. Spit dribbles from the corners of your mouth and onto his wrist. Your back arches into his body. He is just as scalding as the sun beaming down from the sky.

Daryl pushes his fingers deeper into your mouth, holding them there until you gag. The motion makes your whole form spasm and shiver; his cock gives a responding jump of its own.

"Lookit you," he rasps directly into your ear, hot breath tickling the shell of it. "Like a fuckin' bitch in heat," he grabs the meat of your ass cheek, spreading you one-handed. His cockhead noses around the cleft, leaving a sticky trail behind itself. It dips near your cunt, adding your juices to the mix. "You want it so bad."

You do. You really, really do. But you know Daryl is mean. You love it when he's mean to you. When he is proud of the strength of his bulk, when his eyebrows draw tightly over his brilliant blue eyes and nothing, absolutely nothing can escape his predatory stare. You crane your neck, trying to look back at him, to plead with your eyes.

He gets it, because he always does. Daryl's fingers quickly leave your mouth, dragging a wet trail of spit down to your neck where his fingers wrap around it in a secure hold.

"You want it so bad, then fuckin' beg," he says the words and you immediately, greedily descend into the permitted depravity.

"Please, Daryl," your voice sounds hoarse, interrupted by hiccups as you struggle to swallow the saliva that had pooled in your mouth and around his fingers, "please, fuck me. I'll be good. Please."

You feel him fist his cock as it twitches; you can't help it, really, as you arch your back even more and push your ass against his rough hand. Immediately, he withdraws it, just to slap you again.

"You're a bitch in heat," he muses, but you can hear the beginnings of impatience in his voice. "Say it!"

He's never made you do that before. Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, you gasp, part shock part offense, until you feel a drop of fluid roll out over the outer lip of your cunt and fall and disappear somewhere below you. Then it's just lust. The kind that tints the whole world red and narrows your field of vision.

"Fuckin' say it!" Daryl demands, patience thin.

You wouldn't put it past him to just shove himself in at this point. "I'm... I'm a bi- I'm a bitch in heat," you hiccup, feeling your face flood with heat. "I'm a bitch in heat, please fuck me!"

You feel his lips tilt up just the tiniest bit against your ear before he reaches back for his cock and aims it at your cunt in a single, precise thrust. You gasp and mewl as he suddenly stops halfway through. Your cunt ripples and flexes and squeezes. Daryl drops his forehead onto your shoulder, panting.

"So fuckin' tight," he murmurs, mostly to himself. You're not - he knows better, he makes sure you're not before he even thinks about sticking it in - but you are. All that blood that went straight to your cunt the moment his breath caught up in his throat at the sight of your bare pussy - It's making your cunt swell all around him.

A pathetic mewl leaves your lips, your satisfaction incomplete. You wiggle, you arch, but Daryl is as unyielding as ever.

"You take what I give you," he growls, teeth bared like an animal against your ear. Nonetheless, you feel the tip of his cock kiss your cervix. Stars burst in your eyes. You are so full, practically bursting at the seam of your cunt where his fat balls rest against the stretched hole.

Slowly, Daryl withdraws, both of you hissing at the drag of his fat cock in your engorged cunt. You may be a bitch in heat but he's every bit the stud that is just as fervent and feral to breed you. His teeth creak as he pulls back completely, leaving just his weeping tip inside of you.

And then he slams home. And again. And again. And again.

With every powerful thrust of his hips, you gasp. Quiet, pleading moans is the limit of your vocal capacity. Mouth dry, the air gets trapped in the back of your throat as your lungs demand their due.

Daryl is unrelenting. His blunt fingernails drag over the skin of your throat, leaving marks in their wake, as he makes way to your mouth.

"This is what you wanted, slut?" He pants into your hair. "Be quiet. Be really fucking quiet unless you want everybody to see what kinda..." He inhales sharply, feeling your walls flutter at the flith dripping from his tongue.

And it shouldn't make you feel the way you feel. Those fucking words just add more accelerant to the fire in the pit of your stomach, spreading it from there and up, over your face. It flames. Your hand helplessly clutches the nearest surface as you attempt to brace yourself against his thrusts and the notion that anyone could see you.

Bent over something or another, dress hiked up to your waist and Daryl's hips pistoning in and out of you at a rapid pace. He didn't bother undressing save for letting his pants hang freely just below his cock and balls. Heavy, fat balls, littered with coarse dark hair, that slap against your cunt and your clit with a resounding smack every time he drives his cock inside of your cunt. The squelching noise it makes is obscene.

Another whine, and your pussy squeezes him once again, blind and hungry for release. You can feel it building steadily, deep within your abdomen.

"Fuck yeah," Daryl growls, "you fuckin' like this, don't 'cha?" He's gotten the hang of it: the dirty talk, he knows exactly how to get under your skin. He's a mean bastard with nothing close to dignity or self-respect. If anyone saw him, rutting into you, little more than two animals, he wouldn't, couldn't stop.

Daryl would stare them down up until his cock swelled and busted, depositing his seed inside your womb.

Your knees feel weak. It's getting harder and harder to keep up with him; seems like every pathetic whimper that leaves your lips only makes him meaner, stronger somehow. The grip of his hand on your hip is bruising. Daryl effectively wears you on his cock, submerging himself into the warm depths of your pulsing cunt over and over.

"Da-Daryl..." You gasp, you moan and you plead.

He doesn't stop. He merely handles you into a different angle, the one that hits that special spot inside of you with every powerful thrust. He is mean, but he is also fair.

"Gonna cream my cock?" He barely makes sense to himself, the words that his dry mouth garbles seem to have a mind of their own. "Gonna be good, girl? C'mon."

"Ah," you want to say yes, you want to affirm, but all that comes out of your mouth are garbled, unintelligible noises of pleasure. But Daryl sees it. It's in the way your arch becomes near-painful, body overtaking your mind. Even the slightest bit of pain blends into hot-blinding pleasure. You don't know where what ends and begins.

It begins somewhere behind your cunt. The contractions start slow and aching, and every punch of his cock to your guts intensifies the feeling tenfold, until every last inch of your cunt is squeezing around him in that same arduous, suckling rhythm. It's like your pussy is nursing at his cock, attempting to suck his life out of him and deposit it into you.

The pleasure is like a wall of fire and water. Your chest blooms with it, but your extremities swarm with pinpricks. Mouth parted in a silent scream, you sway forward, managing to catch yourself on your elbows at the last moment.

The man behind you doesn't care. He's way past caring, having had started chasing his release the moment your cunt enveloped his cock in a vice grip. The meat of it is sensitive and he spends the few inches to the finish line gracelessly mashing it inside of you, accompanied by the sound of wet flesh meeting even wetter, sloppier flesh.

"Take it, fuckin' take it," you hear him gasp through your stupor before that familiar, warm rush floods your cunt. His cock twitches, once, twice, three times, each forceful throb followed up by more and more seed being pumped into the depths of you.

Against your back, Daryl sags and pants out his excerption. Like a dog. His wet nose leaves sweat stains on your back where he nuzzles into you.

Your knees shake as you struggle to hold up his weight, and then your legs completely turn to mush when droplets of his cum escape your cunt as his spent cock slips out. You know you should be worried about stains in unsightly places but somehow, you can't bring yourself to care.

Daryl notices this, of course. His bulk slides off you; you hear him quickly shove himself back into his pants before his ass hits the ground with a loud thud. Next to you, of course, his stubbly, prickly cheek rubbing over the skin of your leg. He places a wet kiss on the inside of your thigh, and then another.

You know the drill. It's hard for him to find words, sometimes, after a scene like that. It's the intensity of it, the forceful ejection of him out of his head where he spends most of the time, that renders him speechless. Daryl is forced to feel - good things. It's not something that he is used to.

Your skirt is still around your waist and the hot sun is shooting lasers directly at your ass and pussy. You've managed to get your bearings enough to feel at least a little self-conscious, a little exposed. Your combined fluid still drip from you and for a split second, you think about pulling up your panties to try and at least somewhat contain the mess.

Right, you sigh to yourself. It makes your exhausted body twitch and sag even more.

Daryl gently pushes away your hand that was attempting to pull the dress over your ass. You freeze; he smiles against your skin, a little closed-lipped grin that makes something warm and fuzzy make a nest inside your chest. That quickly turns into a startled gasp as his fingers glide through the mess of your cunt.

You're spent. Exhausted. So sensitive, his rough skin practically hurts on your hole and clit.

But Daryl gets it. You get him, and he - he gets you. His hot breath fans over your pubic hair and it's all the warning you get before he opens his mouth wide, flattens his tongue and licks. You've made a big mess and there is a lot to take care of, but if there's anything about Daryl that you know, is that he's thorough at what he does.

In no time, he's got his tongue shoved down your cunt as far as it would go, curling against your walls, lapping up his and your cum like your pussy is an all-you-can-eat-buffet and what's inside of it is sugar and spice and everything nice.

But it's not enough. It's not anywhere near your clit, or any other place that could make you produce more of the cream he's feasting on. Idly, you think about who's the real bitch in heat here, but push out your hips to meet his face nonetheless. You can be mean too. If you want to.

I don't know what to say for myself

[strawberrystepmom]

to forgive is divine & to err is human

pairing: Natsuo Todoroki x F!Reader (romantic), Touya Todoroki x F!Reader (familial)

word count: 7.5k

about: when Touya is released to Natsuo’s care following his 8 year prison stay, the fragility of the dynamic between the three of you threatens to derail everyone involved.

contents: cw: contains descriptions of depression, trauma, smoking, bad coping mechanisms, alcoholism, Touya dyes his hair black in a white sink (ugh). angst with a happy ending, set in canon universe but not canon compliant, established relationship between Natsuo and reader (married), Touya and reader are both assholes at certain points.

notes: tbh I've been meaning to repost this and since I'm currently in my "yes girl give us nothing" era, the time has come. Thank you to everyone (then and now) that has read this baby bc I did indeed put my ol' Kendussy into it so I didn't really change anything about it other than fixing grammar and I'm sure there are still mistakes. This is is how I wrote a year ago and that's okay and I'm proud of how far I've come.

Posting this as a double feature bc it feels too idk self promo-y to split them up again so enjoy my creature feature with my beloved Natsuo and his stinky brother. chain divider thanks to @/cafekitsune ♡

The large, red letters across the paperwork make your eyes hurt by simply gazing at them. 

“RELEASED” stamped with what you can tell was a mostly dried out ink pad, the red darker at the beginning of the word than at the end. You wish you could close the growing pit in your stomach knowing Natsuo will soon arrive back to your home, rehabilitated brother in tow, but the uncertainty makes it hard to settle as you re-stack the documents given to you by the Hero Public Safety Commission when they formally announced they would permit Touya’s release so long as someone would be responsible for him.

When the conversation came up, Natsuo volunteered without a second thought. It hurt at first that he did not ask you before making the decision but after having spent nearly a decade at his side, you trusted his judgment. Six months after the initial inquiry, you still do. Touya is a practical stranger, someone you have only met through grainy video chats, but you have been briefed by many HPSC coordinators. They have conducted home visits, interviewed both of you as if you were the criminals, combed through every bank account and piece of mail to ensure that they are putting their inmate into good hands. A good word from Endeavor, something your husband reluctantly accepted, sealed the decision. Your eyes scan over the handwritten letter from Enji, tucked in the stack of documents. 

“No one is more qualified to care for his brother Touya than my son Natsuo. He is a licensed medical professional, specializing in psychology and mental health services and has experience in dealing with traumatized children. I ask that the Commission consider no other placement for Touya.”

A tired sigh escapes as you flip through a few more pages, squinting through descriptions of you and Natsuo. Your personalities, your hobbies, where you work, who you associate with - all vital information, the panel assured you. The final page of the documents has the official ruling, the top left corner of the page curled in from how many times the pair of you have read over it.

“Todoroki Touya, thirty two years of age, is to be released to the custody of his brother Todoroki Natsuo, twenty eight years of age. Todoroki will be required to wear a location monitoring device at all times per the agreed upon terms of release. He is not permitted to be in contact with any of his prior associates. If contact is initiated, he will be required to return to the custody of the HPSC immediately and will no longer be eligible for release.”

Your eyes scan the document again and again, searching for some kind of strange loophole that could prevent all of this from happening. Guilt crawls up your spine and makes you shudder at the thought. How could you not want this for your husband? He has spent years dreaming of having a second chance to love his brother differently, to help him heal. It makes you feel vile to even entertain negative thoughts about Touya. 

Touya. You know little about the man aside from his name, or names, rather. His time as Dabi concluded, he was sentenced to 8 years of rehabilitation instead of prison. A victim of child abuse needed recovery, the commission reasoned, and they were willing to give him the space to do so within reason. The entire Todoroki family agreed with and supported the commission and their decision, his siblings and parents being granted permission to visit him if they chose to do so. 

Natsuo went as frequently as possible, excitedly telling you how much his brother has improved after every visit, eagerness infectious. You listened to his every word, rapt, as he talked about how different Touya looked now that he was eating well, how far he had come, how he seemed emotionally stable for the first time in his life. Genuine excitement danced in his eyes at the thought of having his brother back, not a shell of a boy or a man. Not Dabi but Touya, someone who was cruelly taken from him when he was too young to fully understand why. 

The true agony was seeing the metaphorical stitches ripped open, cruelly and callously. The entire country was witness to the explosive truth - Touya Todoroki was alive. Even Fuyumi with her limitless poise gnawed her lower lip hoping it would ground her enough that she could stay strong for everyone else. “I can handle this,” she assured you as you wrapped your arms around her shoulders the day after the video aired. She knew the person who would need you the most was her brother. Looks were deceiving - Natsuo was big and strong, a grown man, but his feelings were delicate. She trusted no one but you to look after him.

Natsuo had only asked you to be his girlfriend weeks before his brother revealed his true identity publicly. You will never forget the way grief was etched into all of his features, his strong brow downturned for weeks; retraumatized. It took every ounce of strength in his body to muster a smile, much less anything else, but he did it. For Fuyumi and Shouto, for his mother. 

You can remember every moment of the years following Touya revealing himself. The nights when Natsuo woke up sobbing, burying his face into your chest and balling the fabric of your shirt up between his fists as if it would keep him from losing touch with reality completely. He stopped eating for days at a time, depression sinking him into depths he didn’t know existed. You were always there with a soothing touch and okayu, a rice porridge Fuyumi taught you to make for him. 

“When Touya died, it’s all he would eat,” she explained. Your heart crumbled at the thought of a 13 year old version of your beloved future sister in law having to keep her 9 year old brother moving through the pain of loss. How did they keep themselves together?, you wondered more than once as she breezed through the difficult times with a tight smile. 

The more you watched the man you love sink, the more conflicted you felt about Touya. Those feelings lingered even into today. Natsuo is healing, therapy and love and compassion all coming together to create a whole man instead of pieces of a hurt child in a big body, but you can’t help the simmering anger you feel when you think about watching him experience the hurt in real time. Some memories stay etched forever. 

Natsuo continued to live despite the difficult times. You helped him study and make his way through medical school - a feat that he often credited you wholly for. It wasn’t true but the praise always feels good. Three years after Touya was sentenced, Natsuo opened his clinic that offers a variety of therapeutic services for children with difficult quirks or those who have suffered because of them. A year after that the two of you were married. 

“I knew you were the one when you gave me a reason to keep trying,” he tearfully admitted as you exchanged vows during your small wedding ceremony. The details weren’t for everyone else to know, but the pair of you knew exactly what he was talking about and the admission still makes you feel weepy if you start to think about it for too long.

Love feels like too shallow of a word to explain how you feel about him which is why you agreed to this in the first place - your love for Natsuo is stronger than your distaste toward Touya. You remind yourself of the mantra as you hear voices outside of your front doorstep, one immediately recognizable as belonging to Natsuo. You stand and take a deep breath, composing yourself and closing the file folder on the table as the door opens and the two white haired men crowd into the small genkan, talking amongst each other. 

“We’re here!”

A practiced, measured smile is what you can manage as you watch the situation carefully. Touya scratches the back of his head and offers a small and impersonal wave and you’re surprised by how different he looks. Thin but healthy, his skin grafts have been properly secured, his lashes are the same white as the ones that frame your husband's kind, gray eyes. The similarities between the two are striking but so are the differences - Natsuo greets you with a smile and a peck on your forehead and Touya glowers from the doorway. 

“Welcome home, Touya,”

He looks around, eyes narrowed as he takes in the sights of your well lived in home. It reminded you eerily of the way the representatives from the commission sullied your safe place away slowly, searching every corner to make sure you would not enable any more bad behavior from the man standing in the doorway. Your home had only just begun to feel like yours again.

“Nice place. Guess that’s what being married to a doctor gets you.”

His crass comment made you feel stricken, flinching slightly as your practiced smile wavers. You aren’t Fuyumi, full of endless grace and forgiveness - you can’t fake it. You aren’t Natsuo who believes in the potential of people more than anyone you’ve ever met. You are you and right now you are angry. Clenching your fists in a way you hope is imperceptible, you fake a laugh and your husband looks at you with wide eyes, noticing your change in demeanor.

“Well, it’s your place too now. Guess that’s what being a doctor's brother gets you.”

Touya purses his lips and nods, arms folded across his chest. You look over his scars, his healed skin, his cold eyes. “Do you want to show him to his room, babe?” Natsuo asks, voice shaky, as if he’s anxious for your response. “I can find it myself,” Touya answers for you, heavy boots in his hands as he pads through your home toward where his room lies. You spent weeks helping Natsuo prepare it for him, filling it with photos and books to help him gain back the time he lost while he was away. The taste in your mouth is nothing short of bitter and sour as you think about it.

“I don’t know what that was about, I asked him no-,” you raise your hand, cutting your husband off mid sentence as your fake smile finally falls and gives way to a slight frown, corners of your mouth downturned. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Touya has always felt suspicious of you. Your intentions, your affections for his brother, your involvement with his family - it’s hard not to be uncertain about someone who fits so flawlessly in the dysfunctional outline created by being a Todoroki. What are you hiding? What do you want? 

He tosses his boots down on the floor of the room at the end of the hallway. Instinctually, he knows this is his space. Covered with childhood photos of the Todoroki family, a quilt he received as a child covering the bed, he wants to be impressed with the effort put in but instead he feels hollow. This life never fit him in the first place, happy smiles for photos and dinners and whatever the fuck was expected of him, and now he had no choice but to live it. 

It is a hell of a lot nicer than the four white walls that housed him for eight long years. The bed looks a lot more comfortable, he thinks as he settles down on the edge of it, lying back with his arms behind his head. Fixing his gaze on the ceiling, he takes a moment to think in the silence of the space. The entire car ride his brother talked about you and your life together. Touya eventually began to tune him out, watching the trees pass by the window with the occasional red light flashing on his monitoring anklet catching his attention.

Rehabilitated. The connotations of the word weighed heavily on Touya - one fuck up and it would be so easy for you to convice Natsuo to send him back. You could never understand him the way that his family does. You couldn’t forgive him the way they had either, something both of you would never communicate to each other. 

“Hey,” Natsuo’s voice rasps from the doorway and Touya sits up slightly, grunting his response. “You like it alright?”

“It’s fine.” 

Natsuo sighs, carefully entering the room and shutting the door behind him as he slumps down on the bed next to his brother, shoulders sagging beneath the weight of the huge change that has come over his otherwise peaceful life. “You don’t have to lie, Touya.”

Touya sits up, using his elbows to support his weight, and offers a half smile toward his brother. “I’m not lyin’, it’s fine. Just feels like too much.”

Natsuo nods, trying to tamp down his urge to play therapist instead of brother. It was something he did all too often growing up and probably why he has made fixing people his mission in life. Touya was no exception.

“It’s the least we can do. You’ve been through a lot.”

We, Touya thinks to himself. Always we. He wonders how much Natsuo has surrendered of himself for your sake. Does he have any hobbies besides being a doting husband? Is his world filled with anything besides this little bubble the two of you live in?

“Don’t act like she had anything to do with all of this, Natsu. I was released to you.”

Touya slips a hand in his jacket pocket and fishes around for his pack of cigarettes, popping one out of the packaging with expert precision and sticking it between his lips as his brother sits next to him silently. “Lemme guess, need to do this outside?” 

Natsuo nods and Touya sighs, sliding off of the bed and leaving a rumpled quilt behind him. Heavy footsteps trail down the hallway as he peers into the kitchen and notices the backdoor, quietly slipping through it only to be met with a glowing red cherry on the other side, smoke streaming from your mouth as you stand with a cigarette between your fingers.

“Didn’t take you for the type,” he starts, pulling his lighter from his pocket and clicking it until a bright flame catches the cigarette dangling from between his lips. Once upon a time he would’ve just used his quirk but the prescription blockers he was given by court order prevented that. “All he ever talks about is how perfect you are.”

“Looks can be deceiving,” you shoot back, flicking your cigarette ashes onto the ground below before taking another drag. 

The mutual distrust permeated the air between the two of you. Touya reminded you so much of your father in law it was like looking at another version of him. You reminded Touya of everything he hated about this world - false pretense and unattainable perfection. He doubts you have ever walked around without a hair out of place, a Todoroki would never.

“Any other deep dark secrets I should know before being trapped inside of this house with you 24 hours a day?”

You chuckle, dropping your cigarette on the ground and stomping it out, bending to pick up the butt once you’re done. 

“Your brother won't let me drink anymore,” you start, hoping the vulnerability warms your brother in law. His steely gaze convinces you otherwise and you begin to walk away, arms folded over your chest with a cigarette butt in your fist. “Just another fun part of the aftermath of your little warpath.”

Touya knows he fired the first shots but he’s taken aback at your accusatory tone. 

“Anything else you want to question me about? Figured the commission briefed you on all of my dirty laundry.”

He shakes his head and exhales smoke through the corner of his mouth, the plumes drifting in your direction. “Good chat, Touya.”

The back door slams as you enter your home through it, windows rattling slightly. Your first instinct is to pour a drink but the reminder of your rock bottom lingers on your mind as you instead toss your cigarette in the trash and turn down the hall and head to your bedroom, Natsuo sitting on the bed.

“Why does he hate me so much?”

You hate how hysterical your voice sounds, anxiety rising like bile. Rising to his feet, your husband gathers you against his chest and presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Give him time, he’ll warm up.”

You don’t share your husband’s boundless optimism as you hear the back door slam and hear footsteps heading to the bedroom opposite yours. Natsuo plants another soft kiss atop your hair and squeezes your hand gently as he walks back over to Touya’s room. 

“You alright?” Natsuo asks and Touya rolls his eyes, shrugging off his jacket and draping it across a hook on the back of the door. “Fine. Thanks for the concern.”

Natsuo slips through the door completely and closes it softly behind him, leaning against the solid wood.

“What happened out there?” 

Touya chuckles and shrugs, sitting on the bed in the same place he had left. “Nothing worth mentioning. I’ll make sure I keep my bottles hidden from her though.”

His eyes widened, Touya’s antagonistic tone nothing new, his shock coming from the fact you told him about your struggles with substance abuse in the first place. It wasn’t a secret but it certainly wasn’t a fun fact you gave out at trivia night. 

“Uh, yeah, thank you.” Natsuo fumbles through his words, unsure of the right thing to say. “That would be great. She has come a long way but there are still times that are difficult, especially when big changes occur.”

Your substance abuse issues began about a year after your marriage. Blissful happiness wasn’t enough to numb the intense pain of the years prior but copious amounts of whiskey while Natsuo was busy with work were good enough. Blind confidence convinced you he didn’t notice a thing, not your sunken eyes or decreased appetite, but he did and he confronted you as gently as he could.

The next day you started therapy of your own and have continued to go to meetings for others struggling with addiction since then. Nothing drastic has happened in your life since you quit drinking, calm falling over the Todoroki household, making it easier for you to maintain your wits.

He would never say it but Natsuo truly worried about your sobriety. Every time he left for a trip or wine was passed around at family dinner, he wondered if it would be the day you changed your mind. Sticking with you was easy, though. You did the same for him at his low point and he would never stop doing it for you.

“She smokes, you know that?”

Natsuo nods, Touya’s raspy voice breaking the silence caused by his brother’s overthinking. “Have to let her have one vice, you know?” 

“I think you forget that you weren’t the only person who had to live through that fucking horrifying life! It didn’t just go away when you did.”

Your voice cracks as you raise it at your brother in law, his turquoise eyes wide as he watches you yell with an intensity that leaves your hands shaking. He has never looked more like your husband than he does now, the same white hair sticking up on top of his head, his fingers carding through it and yanking the strands as he paces your living room floor. 

“There are times I don’t think you realize that your actions have always had consequences because you’ve truly faced so few of them,” you feel your face flame as Touya’s expression turns from surprised to angry. “You didn’t have to clean up the messes. I did.”

Seeing the similarities makes something inside of you crack, a piece of your heart perhaps, your chest heaving. Regret consumes your mind; you’ve gone too far. You struggle to catch your breath, rubbing your fingers over your cheeks to hide evidence of your tears. Silence blankets the room like a dense fog.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Your voice sounds meek and thin even to your own ears, the screaming match you have been engaged in rendering your throat raw. Painfully, you swallow what little spit you can and shut your eyes tightly as you listen to Touya’s rhythmic footfalls. Taking a deep breath, you sink into an armchair and dab at your eyes with the back of your hands, opening them long enough to see Touya staring intently at you. You drop your hands and sigh. 

“I can’t imagine what you have been through,” you hiccup, warm tears sliding down your cheek and dripping onto your wrists where they sit in your lap. “But you weren’t the only one going through it and I hope your brother can forgive me for saying all of this to you.”

The white haired man remains silent as you rise from your chair, hands balled into fists at your sides. Your gaze turns directly to him and you sniffle, tears subsiding. 

“He has always loved you despite everything you’ve done, exactly as you are. Please remember that.”

The words feel cathartic to say aloud, astute eyes narrowing to watch you as you turn on your heel and begin to walk away. Your tense posture tells him exactly how you feel about the entire situation and you reason that giving Touya space seems like the best option to end the strange battle of wills the two of you have found yourselves in. 

The gravelly sound of Touya’s voice from over your shoulder stops you in your tracks. 

“Then I owe it to him to try.”

There is no apology to be found in the words but you swear you can feel it as he says them, looking over your shoulder. For the first time you don’t see Dabi or Touya, you see someone completely new - your brother in law. A blank canvas, someone you could perhaps get to know under better circumstances. 

“We both owe it to him,” you respond as you turn around and make your way back to the chair you were sitting in moments ago, sitting stiffly against the back of the chair, shoulders still held tensely by your ears. “But how do we begin?”

Touya sighs and sits opposite you, rubbing his hands over his face as he rests his elbows on his knees.

“Hi, I’m Touya.” You laugh for the first time in a week and he can’t hide the half smile that comes across his face. “I did some fucked up things and spent eight years paying for them but I fucking love my family.” He stomps his foot, emphasizing his point. “That includes you now so we better get our shit together, yeah?”

Another tear falls as you nod, a watery smile settling over your features.

“Yeah, we should.”

A year later, when you think of your brother in law Touya, a memory from your childhood comes to your mind.

You are six, maybe seven and at the zoo. Your parents hold both of your hands dutifully to make sure you don’t run off, squeezing your tiny palms between theirs as you excitedly gasp and croon at birds, snakes, and butterflies. A flamingo makes you shout, a duck makes you quack.

Steps slow down as the three of you approach a large glass enclosure. “Black panther - panthera pardus” says the sign extending from the ground in front of the glass. You don’t know that, of course, until your dad reads it aloud to you, asking you to repeat the name.

“Panthera,” you repeat, a tiny voice bouncing back at you off of the glass.

As if you summoned the cat itself, it appears and you flinch. Black, lithe, wild eyed with muscles wound so tightly you can see the shape and size of each of them. You wonder if the panther knows how to relax, the same way your mom tells you to when you cry too hard. Maybe he needs to take a deep breath. 

“Why does he look so nervous?” 

In your young mind, the question surfaced before you had time to think about it. Of course he’s nervous, you reason, all of these people are staring at him like the attraction that he is. A dazzling thing to see locked between four glass walls. 

“He isn’t nervous honey, he’s probably just thinking about what he would do if he were outside with us.”

Pondering your mom's polite whisper, you nod and accept the answer. Grown ups always know best anyway. 

As a keeper enters the enclosure and carefully stalks toward the cat, your eyes widen in surprise. How can he let someone so close? You wonder if you could ever get that close to him. To see the sunlight in his fur just enough to reveal the spots under the dark of his coat or to watch his ears twitch as he listens for sounds of danger. Would he ever trust you? Could you trust him?

The crowd around the glass increases in size, delighted whoops as the keeper dangles the cleaned carcass of a large bird above the panther. You drink in the way he crouches and springs, tight muscles unwinding for a moment as large paws capture the food between them. 

A sight you’ll never forget.

A sight you see as Touya stalks through the living room of your home, tightly running his fingers through his hair. Muscles taut, standing and walking but trying to simultaneously fold in on himself.

“What the fuck would they even want to talk about?”

You sigh, shrugging at his words. The “they'' in question is the Commission and one year after his monitored release, he has been asked to return before the panel and answer some questions. Natsuo sits next to you on the floor in front of the chabudai, sorting through the papers sent to him to review ahead of Touya’s scheduled meeting. The three of you only found out about the date today.

“I dunno, Touya,” your husband shoots a bit impatiently toward his brother. “Let me read this and then I’ll tell you.”

Silently, you watch as he scans the documents, flipping them between his fingers. You hear the heavy pounding of Touya’s footsteps across the floor, reverberating through the otherwise silent room. Your house is too quiet. There is no crowd to filter out the silence.

“Potential restoration of privileges,” you hear Natsuo mutter from beside you. He continues to read to himself and you wonder what that truly entails. Would Touya be released from his supervised period completely? Would he be allowed to wander more than 50 feet away from his guardians? 

“God Natsu, read faster.”

Natsuo’s eyes shoot a frosty glance toward Touya from over the top of the papers in his hands. Placing them on the table, your husband sighs.

“They want to see your progress and maybe give you a little more freedom.”

Touya freezes in place for a mere second before turning on his heel and rushing to the edge of the table to snatch the documents and look over them, brows furrowed in concern that this is some evil trick the two of you have decided to pull on him. Revenge for the last twelve months of him and his fits, his angry words, his snarling. 

You’ve realized during the months he’s more meow than he is hiss.

“But,” Natsuo starts, clearing his throat, Touya tossing the papers back on the table and interrupting his brother with a clear as day “fuck!”, beginning to pace once again. “We have to give testimony.”

The royal we is something Touya has hated since the day he moved into your home. It always makes him feel as if it’s two against one, no separation between yourself and Natsuo and how you feel about the situation. He assumes if you’re mad at him, his brother is too. If you’re frustrated with Touya drinking the last of your nice matcha, Natsuo must be too. If you’re angry at Touya for dying his hair black in your bathtub and staining the shiny white tiles, Natsuo must be too.

He’s wrong about that, of course, his brother never holding any of his minor blunders against him. You don’t either but it would be tougher to convince Touya to believe that than it would be to build a house by hand, despite the tentative peace that exists between the two of you. You’ve allowed him into your home, your world, your once peaceful little family and have found that you are better for it. Natsuo is better for it. But there will always be a level of distrust. 

Like that panther you think of so often, Touya must wonder what it would be like to be free and trusted. 

“Touya, I don’t know how to say this,” Natsuo says, trying to keep his tone even and calm despite how anxious you know he must be feeling. You feel your stomach drop as well, balling the fabric of your linen pants between your palms to keep your hands from shaking. You looked at the date on the documents and noticed that it was a day you knew he’d be unavailable, working on a particularly tough case with multiple children from one family. “I can’t do it.”

Touya chuckles, a bitter and hollow sound that makes you flinch. “Of course not.”

“She can, though.”

Unexpectedly, Touya’s bitter chuckle turns into a belly laugh. You wonder if he’ll double over from the strength of it, scarred hands clutching his middle. Natsuo stands, approaching his brother carefully.

“Her?” He points at you and you feel like the one being questioned. Despite the grasp on the thighs of your pants, your hands do shake and your fingers slip. “She probably wishes I would have died every single day despite the little “play nice” bullshit she does for your sake.”

Gasping at the accusation, you hope he can’t see the way your eyes glance downward. You had assumed the two of you were past this, arguments coming to a halt around six months ago when you told him you simply didn’t have the energy for them anymore. 

You then began taking him to pick up cigarettes every other day, riding in your car together silently but comfortably. His fingers always drum against his thighs impatiently and you clear your throat, mouth dry until you arrive. You have to be close to him the entire time but you linger on the edges of the small shop in your neighborhood, giving the elderly shopkeeper time to fuss over Touya the way he needs. 

The two of you then silently ride back to your home.

“How could you say that, Touya?”

Much like the smaller version of you felt compelled to speak outside of the gleaming panther exhibit, you do the same now. Your voice sounds weak, thin, defeated. Natsuo rushes to your side, kneeling back down and placing one of his large arms around your shoulder.

“Oh here we go, gotta rush to defen -” 

Touya’s words are cut off by a sharp glance from his brother, a look he has never seen before. Smothering all of the fire inside of him, hurting the one person who has endlessly forgiven him, he is doused by humility.

“I don’t hate you,” you look up and see Touya’s turquoise eyes that are narrowed and hard staring directly at you. “I don’t wish you were dead,” you continue as you shrug your husband’s arm off of you and begin to stand. “In fact, I was stupid and thought we were finally fucking past all of this!”

Punctuating your shout with a frustrated grunt, you stomp off down the hallway and leave the brothers to figure it out amongst themselves. Natsuo would simply have to find a way to make the date work for him because you couldn’t bring yourself to beg the Commission to be merciful toward someone who detests you so much. You aren’t a big enough person for that, lacking the careful compassion of your husband.

“Are you fucking serious, Touya?”

Natsuo cursing at his brother makes his steely gaze falter, eyes glancing downward toward the floor. Touya remembers a time you went too far, not long after he first moved into your home, and he feels guilty knowing he has done the same.

“Whatever,” Touya responds dismissively as he stomps off. 

Natsuo hears the back door slam and rubs his hand over his face, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. He’s transported back to 12 long months ago when he didn’t even want to be in the same room as the two of you, the tension making him incapable of dealing with his own uncertainty about the ability to rehabilitate his brother. 

As Touya steps outside into the cool air, far less suffocating than the inside of the house, he fishes around in his pockets for his lighter and mutters obscenities as he realizes it is inside. Of course, he still can’t use his quirk thanks to the very strong suppressants he has to take daily as part of his release, so he flings the door back open and stomps inside. 

Hearing hushed muttering from the living room, he closes the door quietly and creeps to the doorway of the kitchen. He shoves himself against the wall, trying to hide from view as he hears your voice.

“I don’t understand why he won’t give me a chance, Natsu.”

His brother sighs and Touya sinks further against the wall. He knows the sound - fed up, frustrated, struggling. Natsuo is the last person he ever wanted to create those feelings in and shame, a bit of an unfamiliar feeling for him, creeps up his spine and makes his stomach turn. 

“You didn’t exactly make the best first impression, of course he doesn’t completely trust you.”

Natsuo’s words make you blow out air in frustration. Touya can’t see you, but he imagines you look as downtrodden as you always have after these little battles. His brother’s defense of his behavior is surprising, though, and he idly rubs his thumb across one of the graft scars on his hands.

“I know,” you relent with a sniff. “I know.”

Your words shift Touya’s perspective, precious humility trickling over him and making his left eye twitch - a stress reflex he tried to hide for years. 

You were the first person who noticed it and on your usual trip to the small store to pick up his cigarettes after, you passed him a box of anti-inflammatory medication and a bottle of eyedrops wordlessly as you buckled into your seat. He hasn’t twitched since.

Acknowledging the hurt you’ve caused is the first step of atonement, he remembers reading in a book Natsuo brought him while he was still locked up.

He peeks from around the wall, stretching his arms over his head and locking his fingers on the back of his skull, buried in poorly dyed black hair. Natsuo looks up through his light eyelashes at his brother who approaches carefully, settling on the opposite side of the table from where the pair of you sit.

“You can do it.”

The words are simple and cause both you and Natsuo to look up. Touya refuses to meet your puffy eyes and rises back to standing as quickly as he sat, slapping the tabletop once before skulking down the hallway to grab his lighter.

You and Natsuo resolve not to ask questions, with only two weeks until the panel meets time is of the essence and your testimony will be key to helping Touya if you choose to help him. 

Sitting in front of the panel is more nerve-wracking than you expected. A group of five familiar faces all staring at you with discerning eyes as you shuffle the hand-written pages of your testimony between your fingers.

These people have rummaged through your home on more than one occasion, interviewed all of your close friends and family, sifted through every piece of your dirty laundry and you’re at their mercy once again but this time you’re more willing.

“You may begin as you wish, Todoroki-san.”

Nodding respectfully toward the head of the panel, you clear your throat and exhale as you look down at the papers in your hands. You can feel Touya looking at you from across the room, Fuyumi and Shouto seated beside him and Rei on the other side of his sister, but refuse to look up at them for fear it’ll make the little courage you’ve summoned disappear.

“When Touya first moved into our home, I was uncertain of his ability to be rehabilitated.”

You spent the last two weeks reading this exact same speech to Natsuo, rehearsing it in your bedroom while pacing across the floor. The ink on the page is smeared in places from wet tears that dripped down onto the paper, black bleeding into blue and drying into rippled and raised spots. Those spots remind you of Touya, the way he has woven his way into part of your everyday existence. 

“The process of allowing him into our lives felt very invasive. Respectfully, our lives were torn apart in preparation for him. Our home was combed through, our mail was intercepted, my husband was followed by a member of this committee on his way home from the clinic he tirelessly uses as a means to help others on more than one occasion.”

You keep your tone even to avoid sounding accusatory. These are all facts the Commission themselves have confirmed via their own documentation but standing in the face of the very force that can decide your future as well as Touya’s is more intimidating than you expected.

“The day Touya moved in, our lives shifted in a way that no amount of preparation could have made us anticipate. Difficult interpersonal dynamics forced us to take a good hard look at the future of our family and the future of what we desired for Touya. How did we want his rehabilitation to look?”

Taking a breath, you look up from the sheet of paper for a moment to meet Touya’s gaze and it strikes you as odd to see something almost tender. You sniff, nose twitching, vowing to hold yourself together until you’re alone or with Fuyumi or anywhere but sitting in front of people who have made their living off of judging, doling out punishment, changing lives for better or worse.

“While we’ve had many difficult times, I am not here to talk about the difficulty I caused Touya with my inability to coexist for the first several months. Rehabilitation takes a team and I was not a team player,” you pause and hear shuffling from the seats across the room. “Despite this, Touya has dedicated himself to improvement and has continually adhered to every request the commission put forth in the original terms of his release.”

While you don’t want to continue to air out your dirty laundry, there is a therapeutic feeling in knowing you’re publicly admitting to handling things wrong. In front of Natsuo’s family, nonetheless. Touya’s family. Your family. 

At the end of this lies the fact that you are all a family and forgiveness is inherently woven through the relationships and bonds you share.

“It is the recommendation of both my husband and I that Touya’s privileges of release be expanded upon, including reduction of supervision and permission to travel to the homes of his mother and siblings independently if he chooses.”

Rising to your feet, you bow before the panel once more before walking toward the back of the room and quietly exiting as they take time to deliberate and make their decision. 

Touya rises and comes to the front of the room, standing before them. He hates the way he feels, like a caged animal with his muscles tensed, in a suit that doesn’t even belong to him because why the fuck would he ever own a suit? The sleeves are too long, it is Shouto’s after all, and he pulls the cuffs over his hands with his thumbs.

The panel head speaks and the room is so quiet you’re even unnerved from the other side of the door. Pressing your ear to the wood, you listen.

“Our decision will not be immediate. You can expect further communication from the panel in the coming weeks. As of right now, your terms of release remain the same until you are otherwise notified. Thank you for your time today, Todoroki-san.”

Touya bows and joins his family, missing the member he wishes to see the most.

You back away from the door as you hear the knob turn and rest against the wall, arms over your chest as you greet your in-law’s with a subdued smile. 

“Natsu will be so proud of you!” Fuyumi beams, rubbing your bicep in a comforting gesture. You just shrug, unable to speak. You exchange a few additional pleasantries with Shouto and Rei, wishing them goodbye as they leave you and Touya standing on opposite sides of the hallway.

“It’s okay, you know.”

Touya’s voice is a rasp, as always, and you look up through your eyelashes at him. Fiddling uncomfortably with the cuff of your shirt in the same way he’s been fiddling with his own cuffs all day, it just further emphasizes the similarities you share. It isn’t just love for Natsuo you have in common anymore.

“None of this shit has been easy and you’ve done your best. I’m not exactly a fuckin’ easy person to get along with.”

You chuckle, tension diffusing.

“I think you’re going soft, Touya.”

He chuckles back and your eyes meet, the two of you walking toward the center of the hallway to leave the building together and walk back to your car. Your footsteps are quiet and so are his, both of you slumping as you saunter out of the door and into the bright midday sun.

“Nah, just tired of being an asshole all the time.”

The news comes as you stand at your kitchen sink, Touya bent over as you help him rinse black hair dye down the drain. Your hands are wet, his shirt is soaked, but you agreed to help him after noticing a huge white patch still at the back of his head from his attempts to do it himself. 

“I dunno why you want it to be black so bad, don’t you want to look like Natsu?”

Touya snorts and the sound echoes through the steel basin. “I have to keep a little edge. Let me live.” You shut off the clean running water, allowing the dark droplets to work their way out of your sink. There was more rinsing to do but you wanted to be sure of how much more.

“It’s here!” Natsuo shouts from the doorway and you hear his hurried, large footsteps trek into the room, ripping of paper ringing in your ears.

You want to leave Touya’s side and go to Natsuo, to read over his arm, to see for yourself but you resolve to be patient and continue to lightly massage Touya’s scalp. He needs comfort right now, you can tell.

“Expansion of privileges,” Natsuo mutters to himself, scanning the page as quickly as he can. “Unsupervised access to other family homes! Holy shit!” 

Tossing the papers onto the counter, your husband bolts toward you and wraps his arms around your waist. “No, no, no,” you chant as he picks you up and you accidentally pull Touya’s wet strands of hair. He yelps and you let go, hissing apologetically.

“God Natsuo, down boy.”

Your snarky brother-in-law draws a giggle from you as your husband presses a kiss against your cheek and reaches down to slap him on the back. “Do you wanna tell mom or should I?” Touya looks up, head still dripping, and rolls his eyes at his brother. “I could just show up at her house, that’d have more impact.”

Wiggling away from Natsuo, you reach for the towel on the counter and wrap it around Touya’s neck so he can sit up and not drip black water all over your floor. He gives silent thanks in the form of a tight half smile and you smile back, stepping away to let the brothers converse about how they’re going to break the news to their siblings.

As you watch the two of them, the panther and his handler once again come back to your mind. 

The reason that the handler was able to come so close to the cat is because he trusted him. The cat could learn to trust others, to let people in, to let them be on his side. You won’t have to wonder if you could have gained the panther’s trust any longer and he won’t have to wonder what it’s like to be on the outside with the rest of us. 

[billowingangel]

Welcome ✧

I've been into hetalia since 2016 and for a while I tried to pretend I didn't like it....And I'm tired of living that lie! So I'm back to thinking, loving, obsessing, and writing about Hetalia.

I also block very freely and I'd rather people be 18+ to interact (since occasionally I may post nsfw/nsft which I will always tag)

I'm currently working on a few fanfictions which you can find on AO3 and FF.net

My favorite character is Canada 🍁 And I ship him with pretty much anyone...and I mean anyone...If that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to block this blog or the tags associated with ships you are uncomfortable with. I may at times reblog problematic ships, I'll add tags for the ship and a cw for the problematic element of the ship. Please take care of your mental health and curate your online space to what is best for you ♡ ˎˊ˗

more information below the canada picture

Wow, you clicked continue reading so here's more annoying stuff about me and this blog (^_^)

I spam reblog, mostly fanart (so many in this fandom are so talented!) and miscellaneous things (memes, random shit, writing tips, etc).

I'll occasionally post some of my own fanfictions (drabbles or links to them)

I also will post my rambling silly thoughts. I have decided to let myself loose and be as annoying authentic as possible here.

Also I will do my best to tag content/trigger warnings but I may forget (memory of a goldfish) so if I do please let me know

Here are some tags I use on this blog to organize (still working on what tags to use) ᯓ★

#art reblog ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡): self explanatory

#hetalia fanart ✨: reblogs of hetalia fanart

#canon tbh: posts that I see as accurate to character's personalities, how I perceive them, and how I think they'd act

#hetalia fanfiction:

#hetalia meme:

#positivity: posts and reblogs that are positiive

#misc: posts that are surprisingly not related to hetalia

#me core: reblogs that I really relate to

#fanfic imagine: imagining a fanfiction and maybe i'll write or finish the idea

#fanfic in progress: my thoughts during the process of writing fanfiction, debating whether I should do this or that, talking about what I plan to do, blah blah

#my fanfic: fanfiction that I have written, usually a link to ao3 but may also be to ff.net

I also mostly tag hetalia characters as hws so if you look up hws canada (for example) you'll be able to see all posts about that character

Some of my favorite posts of mine ┈─★

Now more about me which is why you're reading this (I'm just kidding)

Call me angel or anything really I don't care what I'm called (ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ)

Also please feel free to message me!! I love talking to people but I get a bit hestitant about initiating. My discord is billowingangel if you want to talk there!

I'm 20 years old and I go by she/her pronouns and I'm a lesbian I love me some boobs what can I say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I may be a raging homosexual but I'm also a raging hetaliansexual (joke), I am attracted to so many fictional male characters and shockingly a ton of them are from hetalia (shoot me dead)

I love hetalia if that isn't obvious, it's on my brain a probably disturbing amount what can I say I'm mentally ill. I also like other anime (demon slayer <333, jujutsu kaisen, the witch and the beast, parasyte, etc), doctor who (so happy there's a new season), yuri manga!!, and other shit. I love horrors and thrillers! I rarely watch romantic comedies but I love reading romance in fanfiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm working on my own book (probably my 20th book) but I'm hoping to actually finish this one.

I am also working on multiple fanfictions: red means it's completed

off the grid: canada slightly snaps and goes on vacation lol

???:idk what to call it, america, england, and france are all fighting for canada's love and he's oblivious

unhealthy obsession: another country becomes obsessed with canada

Falling for Canada: multiple rarepair oneshots with Canada

My first omegaverse 0.0

a really stupid horror drabble that I posted

amecan week 2024

And I believe that's it~ Maybe I'll add my favorite ships

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[inconmess]

I know I posted a lot today but still having too many thoughts about this episode so I am repeating some of my posts and others I am adding as a side note. The tune on my head as I am writing the post and what I was reminded of as I watched the episode. Putting everything under the cut.

Tbh, I was kinda expecting Leo and Grimoria to fall before Malcolm and Edgar with the number of scars they had but with this outcome? *chefs kiss* The psychedelic shit that went down in the second half of the episode combined with the first half and it's feels and all the emotional talks were kind of the whiplash I was expecting but not expecting at the same time?

I was not expecting the talk between Leo and Edgar about their sisters and their trauma openly given that Edgar is a very conservative person and doesn't open up that much and the fact that it was implied they might've known each other before the whole circle had formed? I mean, it was a speculation and I may have overshot the time they might've known each other but still, I wasn't also expecting Leo to talk about his trauma so...

Though I kinda also wanted them to talk about that with Malcolm also given that I think he might also need an explanation to all the breakdowns that were going on the end of the second episode, you know but him not knowing also gives an interesting dynamic.

The dynamic between Malcolm and his mother was also an interesting thing to explore, given that Malcolm told that she had a soft corner for him but at the same time I think he underestimated how much she knows about the actual inner dealings of the company and her resistance to give information out that easily? Her asking him to come back into the family was also interesting given the fact that Malcolm had previously mentioned how he was thrown out and will most likely not be welcome back (as Malcom did mention in the episode) Don't worry ma'am, Malcolm wouldn't require the days at all.

Pity we didn't see an interaction between Edgar and his father because we have seen everyone else with their parents/parental figures for a conversation over the course of stuff. But even if psychedelic, I am glad for the sister interaction Edgar got out of it.

Also, wondering how Declan actually escaped the carnage and successfully went back to Serenity without letting it out that the mission went wrong given the way the psychedelics worked... Also is the psychedelics an extension of whatever Calinus tried to do? Was it his legacy?

And the placement of the circle of the Wyrm and it's crime scene was just... *chefs kiss* just the right amount of horror and anticipation and the immediate jump scare of everyone dropping?

I have too many questions and too little answers.

The machine which took Edgar's sister was made years before the war and probably was evolved during the war and used to end it but what actually happens to the people who are hit by the rays? Are they just disintegrated? Disappear and transported? What happened? I have similar question regarding what happened to Leo's sister and friends.

I ALSO NEED MORE INFO ON GRIMORIA'S BACKGROUND!!!!

I wonder how the fallout of this current episode will be for Zora, given that she just lost Declan and now gets to know that the circle of the Wrym is completely dead because of their "expeditions" and two of the Crimson Mirror has also now fallen to this thing. Her worry for the other two when they haven't come back...

I also wonder what will be going on in Grimoria's head as she read Leo's will (which I initially thought to be Edgar's but I won't be surprised if Edgar did leave a will for Grimoria. And Malcolm)

Speaking of, someone should inform Glask about Malcolm's fate? And Edgar's hospital. And Edgar's dad maybe. Maybe Candela takes care of it? Maybe not? But I DO NOT want Grimoria to go back to the Frogs.

Liam, you incredible man, the story may not have been what you set out to tell but it was pure gold and hats off to the rest of the cast for how they went about the whole thing. Alex and his reactions, Imari and his Candelas, Taliesen and his roleplay and Aimee just being Aimee? Chefs kiss.

Thank you for hearing my rant for the day, might catch the 2nd rebroadcast in a few hours and just immerse in it but man I LOVE THIS CIRCLE!

Liam just asking the others to stop helping each other and die was one of my favs of the day! Along with Alex deciding to shoot Malcolm and the honest to god description the whole episode?

I just wanted to see more of Declan and his relationship with the circle even if it is from anecdotes from the circle in itself, maybe an insight into how they got introduced to him but it's fine.

Still want to know how this all ties in with Tide and Bone and really looking forward to the session zero of this circle cuz I WANT SOME QUESTIONS SIRS AND MA'AM!

[ikeprincest]

Hi, I'm just curious, what made you ship the princes with each other? This trope is usually frowned upon and is considered taboo, but I just want to know what attracted you to incest

:O *excited noises* Thanks for the kind phrasing, anon! Also thanks for the chance to walk you through my feelings on the ships

First off, it's just a bad(?) habit of mine to ship the love interests together in otomes. (Might be because I'm a trans guy, tbh. I have no issue playing as a girl if it's my only option, and in fact some of my favorite visual novels are otomes) Also, really, incest shipping isn't an issue to me, since it's fiction, but I also don't seek out incestuous ships intentionally - the characters have to have good chemistry, related or not.

It started with goddamn Yves and Licht. Yves' fussing over Licht that could be seen in some scenes really had me in a headlock, and for a while they were my only real ship in IkePri.

Then, though, I started imagining other ships. For instance Nokto and Sariel (not the same thing as pairing the princes together, but I love them) are a duo I imagine hand-in-hand with Yves and Licht (world's most awkward double date. Your twin and your half-brother, vs you and a guy who used to babysit all of you). I also thought that Clavis/Chevalier would be interesting since I already enjoy what little parts of their dynamic I see now (haven't gotten around to playing either of their routes, but I think Clavis might be next) and it'd be funny to see either Clavis' teasing/jokes turning more flirtatious to a deadpan Chevalier, or Chevalier just bluntly returning those comments in a way that has Clavis turning beet red somehow

("Clavis, why do you want to switch to the Domestic Faction?"

"Because my alternative is to tell Chevalier I want him to step on me next time he calls me a fool."

"What?"

"I said none of your business.")

My decision to make this blog, and the interactive fic series, didn't really solidify until recently. When the Yves & Licht & Nokto collection event was up and running was around the time I was toying with letting them be an OT3 in my head, which I basically took as a sign from the universe to be a 'go-ahead' in that area.

At some point, then, I was noticing other ships I liked. Leon/Luke was one that I toyed with after reading a spoiler about the former's route (the prince who's not a prince vs the prince who didn't know he was a prince) and plan on including in the initial release of the main interactive fic. Jin/Luke I started giving eyeball emojis to as I got further into Luke's route, and I feel like Clavis/Nokto would bang if they thought it'd piss off the right person/thought it'd just be fun in some way.

This isn't my first time doing something like this, though it is the first time doing it outside of my main gamedev account. But I have a rule I stick to: Even if I don't particularly care for a ship, if I make it a public project and I know there's people who'd want to see the ship, I will put the ship in. So not all of the ships I'll include in either the main or side stories are one I might care for a whole lot, but I'll include them because of that rule. I do my best to keep them up to par with the ones I like, though - I've actually been told before that my writing for ships I don't care much for sometimes turns out better, which is weird to think about.

...TL;DR: I don't actually ship all the princes with each other. But the ones I do, it's because of chemistry, or because I like the way they interact, or even just because I like imagining how they'd get together/be as a couple. Really, that's all it is - that's the same way I end up shipping all my ships.

[prumanoenjoyer]

Doing this thing because I got blorbos on my mind

A - Current OTPs/OT3s etc.

It may not come as a surprise but I am absolutely rotting on PruMano at all times and have been doing so for basically a year now. It's beginning to melt into my personality and nothing can be done about it. Whenever I'm released from the iron grip of PruMano rotting I enjoy GerIta and FrUk like the normie that I am. The BTT are definitely getting together for threesomes when they're all single and I like them as well.

B - Pairing I initially didn't consider

This might shock you after reading the first bit but. PruMano. See I'm not new to this circus, I first watched Hetalia in 2015 but focused mostly on the Nordic 5 with SuFin and DenNor. This was before PruAus 9/11 (Hima suddenly announcing they're cousins) so I think I was on the PruAus rot.

Other than that I got a friend who I dragged into this hellhole (you know who you are) who has infected me with Frain and TurFra. I have some Thoughts about TurPru but uhh. let's leave that for now.

C - Ships I never liked and never will like

All the ones where there is an unbalanced power dynamic (age gaps, having interacted when one was a child and the other way older etc, former colonies and oppressive states, having a relationship that implies being related etc). I am a seasoned hater of these and I do my best to block anyone who as much as reblogs it. I do not care if it's "just fiction" you guys are weird and not in a good way xoxo

D - Ships I just can't get myself to like

Due to the aforementioned PruMano rot I just don't feel seriously interested in any other pairings I fear. Nothing against PruCan or LietPru for example, I am just so rotted on PruMano that it doesn't make me feel anything lol

E - My crack contributions

I may just be the only person who has even considered TurPru and I have done it in the most unbearable fujoshi way possible </3

Other than that I'm helping out with spreading unrequited GerFra, Frain and TurFra which I do also enjoy on the side.

F - Longest I've been in a fandom

I wanna say this one?? Not actively so, I jumped ship to other things such as Love Live and JJBA in early 2019ish (Love Live even earlier in 2017), but even during my longer breaks from Hetalia I've always ended up rewatching it at some point or posting about it.

G - First OTP

For Hetalia it's definitely been GerIta from day one. Do I even need to say anything? To me they're canon.

H - Favorite way of consuming fandom stuff

It's mostly anime series and TV shows I'd say, I do sometimes read but am a bit too busy to properly sit down and do so.

I - Has Tumblr made me dislike fandoms

I think it would take less time to list the fandoms Tumblr HASN'T made me dislike tbh. I try to keep a tight knit circle for my own sanity and rarely interact with the fandom part of stuff apart from my own and my friend's contributions. Highly recommended btw.

J - Fandoms I didn't notice until Tumblr

To be honest I'm not really browsing Tumblr at all. I like to upload here because the image quality is way better than on Instagram. I suppose I highly associate some fandoms with this site (Undertale for example)?

K - Say something nice about someone

You should all go like and subscribe to fruktual on Instagram for more FrUk and Frainposting

L - Say something nice about a mid character

Lithuania I'm sure you are way more interesting than I give you credit for and I care about you the most out of the Baltic Trio (which I honestly forget exists at times)

M - Something nice about a ship I don't like

I'd honestly rather pull a tooth out than say a single word of praise for things such as UsUk or Spamano 🤢🤢🤢🤢 And that's on periodt!

N - Things I wish to see more of in the fandom

More PruMano please please please please please pl

O - Song that reminds me of a ship

Til There Was You by The Beatles makes me think of GerIta, as well as Kingdom Come by Red Velvet

As for PruMano it would be Tales Of Great Ulysses by Cream because I had that on repeat writing my Ancient Rome PruMano AU lol

P - New AU

I'm working on/will be working on a Frankenstein PruMano AU where Gilbert is a much more empathic Victor Frankenstein and Lovino is too traumatized from dying and being resurrected to be out killing people. Look forward to that...

Q - Ship I've abandoned and why

PruAus because Hima came in with a warhammer and bludgeoned it to the cousinzone R.I.P </3

R - Pairing I think no one else ships

Again with TurPru, I seriously wonder whether it's been considered at all. Most likely not.

S - Personal headcanon

Okay more or less true I guess if you bother to read the source material but Gilbert is just a silly loser guy. Like, he's a total himbo. I love him and need to gnaw on him.

T - Headcanons I'll die defending

That Gilbert and Lovino who share a passion for chivalry and knights would definitely go visit museums and LARPing events such as medieval weeks and whatnot. Just warms my cold little heart <3

U - 5 faves from 5 different fandoms

Oh boy. Forgive me for what I'm about to share.

(Hetalia) Gilbert Beilschmidt

(JJBA) Dio Brando

(Madoka) Kyouko Sakura

(Love Live) Yoshiko Tsushima

(Gakkou Gurashi or School Live) Kurumi Ebisuzawa

V - 3 OTPs from different fandoms

(Hetalia) PruMano (shocker, I know)

(Madoka) HomuMado

(Love Live) YohaRiko

W - 5 ships ft 5 kinks for said ship

So obviously gonna skip over the ones featuring minors.

PruMano - Verbal degradation, sadism, masochism, somewhat fear aspect, leaving marks

I do also just think they love each other and have normal sex and that's fine too, but I did write a fanfic where the abovementioned happens

X - My top 5 babygirls

1. Gilbert, I bully him a lot but don't you ever seriously say something mean about him because I will be so sad </3

2. Lovino, he's a flawed man and some of you are MEAN to him for having it rough

3. Rome, some people who haven't read source material claim there's some favoritism going on, he does visit Lovino as well okay? The allegations are canonically false!

4. Ludwig, I think most of us agree he's a good person but for the rare few who claim he's "verbally abusive". Go outside and touch grass no he isn't. GerIta has always been them antagonizing one another, the battlefield is even or perhaps even in Feliciano's favor. Ludwig will never be able to escape the nightmare and I don't think Feli wants him to. They're bound together forever and love it.

5. Roderich, gets slack for various Chibitalia related things, does not deserve it at all, it's all whining and he and Feli are on good terms in modern times. Relax.

Y - Fandoms in-law

My current close friends are into Baldurs Gate 3, Watch Dogs, Dishonored, Evillous Chronicles (Vocaloid), Utena and more. But these are the primary blorbo shows in-law.

Z - Rambling time

Okay if you've gotten this far down I admire your attention span lol thanks. I don't really have all that much to say that is concrete and comprehensible but I am thinking of PruMano and of warm days by the Mediterranean Sea and skies later lit in vivid shades of red and orange as the hot sun sets and the cities come to life. I am also thinking about them cuddling, which I do quite a lot.

Anyway that was all for me bye

[bonesandthebees]

YOU FINISHED DAY OF THE FALLEN NIGHT!!

Okay. I'm normal. I'm totally normal.

.... Please ramble to me I'm so starved on talking about it TELL ME THE DETAILS OF YOUR THOUGHTS

- ❄️

OH BOY SNOWFLAKE DO I HAVE THOUGHTS BECAUSE THAT WAS SO GOOD

ok for everyone else, spoilers for a day of fallen night by samantha shannon will be below the read more

ok that was just. so amazing. holy shit. warning this is going to be long.

there's so much I loved about adofn. the characters, their relationships, and especially the more in depth look we got at the worldbuilding. for one thing I loved learning more about Hróth and getting to see it, along with the Queendom of Sepul in the East (although I do wonder why we never heard of Sepul in Priory. did it get destroyed in the Grief of Ages like Carmentum did? if so why was that not mentioned? or maybe it was and I just missed it?).

also I loved getting such an in depth view of life inside the Priory through Tunuva. like how birthing works and the way boys and girls are raised and all that. also just, fuck, Tunuva. I love her as a character so much. she's such a good contrast to Esbar. you can see exactly why their marriage has worked for so many years. they're different but complement each others differences. Tunuva is the soft caring side of Esbar's sharp pragmatism. Esbar makes the hard choices needed, Tunuva reminds her when they're not needed.

I'm so happy Wulf got to go to the Priory and spend time with Tunuva and Siyu and everyone else. tbh one of the few criticisms I have of the book is that I felt like Wulf's entire arc with the Priory was rushed. like we didn't even get to see his initial reactions to anything. I wanted to how he dealt with learning about Galian's legacy being a lie and the truth of Cleolind and all that. however, I'm so happy that Siyu went to Inys. Now we know why Ead was sent to protect Sabran in the first book!!! And Siyu is such a kind girl who is so similar to Glorian. they're nearly the same age and they're both young mothers and just ahhh I'm so glad Glorian has Siyu as a friend (although it makes me horribly sad that Glorian and Wulf would have to stay apart for so many years)

speaking of Glorian, oh my god, my girl. Glorian definitely ended up being my favorite character of the book. she had to grow up so fast. she matured so drastically throughout the novel and she shouldn't have had to do that but she took on her role as queen and did it so well. she proved to everyone ten times over that she was more than enough (and I'm lowkey still pissed at her mother for making her believe otherwise). I had chills during the entire scene when she rode out onto the battlefield only hours after giving birth. her entire struggle with the ownership of her own body and identity and the 'tax' she had to pay to Inys with giving them a child was so well done and so painful to read. I think adofn showcases so well the more subtle themes of misogyny we see in the world. because yes, it is a fantasy world where women can hold positions of power the same as men without anyone blinking an eye, but there are still misogynistic systems put in place. we definitely see our Sabran (the IX) struggling with this in priory, but it's even more evident and discussed here. With how the Inysh queens are essentially little more than walking wombs who have been told they are the only thing keeping the world from destruction. and it's so telling how many people around Glorian recognize how terrible this is. even fucking Prince Guma told her outright this was a horrible thing for her to be put through. I'm so glad that at the very least, Glorian gave birth how she wanted despite the protests that an Inysh queen should never kneel. And she did what she wanted as soon as her toll was paid (although, uh, girl definitely needs therapy because you really shouldn't have a death wish as soon as you no longer 'need' to be alive)

also, god, that scene where Glorian hands baby Sabran off to Wulf and he goes and hides with her? the entire private moment he has with his daughter—the only private moment he'll probably ever get with his daughter—made me cry. when Wulf hoped that somewhere deep inside, his daughter would remember his voice and his warmth and know she was loved like how he was able to faintly remember Tunuva's love and warmth just made me start sobbing. I literally had to take a few minutes to calm down so I could get the tears out of my eyes and see the pages again. I think I also shed a tear or two when Glorian had just given birth to Sabran and told her she was always going to be enough for her. That she was already enough. like, ouch. that hurts.

the only other time I came close to crying was when Kanifa died. I didn't actually cry but I did feel my eyes start to burn when he sacrificed himself for Dumai. Dumai's story just hurt in so many ways. obviously she and Glorian were never going to be able to meet, but they felt as though they were sisters to each other and never got to know. though I am glad that Dumai got to live how she wanted and became the Maiden Officiant. I especially loved Nikeya by the end. How she was able to step out of her father's shadow and rebuild Seiiki for the better. She was the one built for court and politics, not Dumai. but god their marriage in the hot spring fucking WRECKED me they loved each other and just wanted to be together but they couldn't arghhhhh it's Ead and Sabran all over again.

at least we got two pretty happy couples out of this—Esbar and Tunuva and Wulf and Thrit. Thrit fucking deserved it after he spent so long pining and blatantly flirting with Wulf's clueless ass. their kiss on the battlefield was so :(( And that epilogue scene with Tunuva and Esbar just cemented them as a great couple. despite their ups and downs they love each other so deeply and will continue to love each other for the rest of their lives. Choosing to believe that Esbar made an exception to the no outsiders rule for Thrit so he and Wulf could visit and Thrit could meet Tunuva. They all deserve it.

I still feel like I have so much more to say but arghhhh this book was so good oh my goddddd I need more stories in this world desperately Samantha Shannon I am BEGGING you

[myersesque]

hey can you info dump about hobie to me please :D

hello!!! sorry this took me a while to get around to, i got SO nervous that i'd get smthn wrong n an army of comic book dudebros would emerge from hell to smite me down - but then i remembered that i don't care and hobie is fun to talk about, so hello!!!

[quick note before we start: hobie will be referred to as either "hobie" or "spiderpunk", for the sake of not being confusing, since there are 47385783643 spidermen in existence. yes, he prefers "spiderman" and initially took spiderpunk as an insult, but as of his latest solo run, the battle of the banned, he really could not care less n actively refers to himself as spiderpunk. i'm noting this now so i don't get 50 people correcting me in the replies lmao. i also don't hyphenate spiderman because i'm lazy]

you didn't ask for anything in specific so i'm gonna just Keep Going until i lose steam, hope that's alright!

first things first: hobie isn't an original character created to be spiderpunk! he's actually a variant of hobart "hobie" brown, earth 616's prowler, which i think has a LOT of interesting potential for btsv, if you catch my drift:

why did they choose to make him a hobie variant rather than make up a new spiderperson? who knows! could be that they saw how painfully fucking close hobie was to his "capitalism is the real enemy actually" breakthrough before deciding to become a supervillain about it; maybe it's easier to get comic book nerds into new stories if they're vaguely familiar with one of the characters involved. who knows. i can't actually find any source on this one.

(interesting sidebar: in the spiderverse movies, peter b parker is from earth 616, and intended to be a direct page-to-screen adaptation of classic comic book peter parker - which makes me wonder how he reacted to meeting hobie for the first time. i doubt we'll ever see that first interaction, but it's cool to think about!)

spiderpunk's design actually originated as concept art for spider-UK, as drawn by olivier coipel (the punk movement is often credited as having started in the UK - more accurately, by black british punks, using elements of jamaican reggae - so it makes sense that they explored a punk angle for spider-UK at some point). they felt it didn't fit the character, but still loved the design, and so they wrote an entire character to fit around it! (that's also why hobie is often portrayed as british despite being written as american in the comics - his whole concept is essentially a love letter to black british punks, and tbh even when i'm reading the comics i pretend he just ended up moving to new york from london bc i cannot imagine him as an american lmao sorry)

a lot of people who learnt of hobie from atsv seemed surprised that he's genuinely punk and not just using the aesthetics - but, like, he's genuinely punk, guys. he lives in a fascist dystopia (the spider that bit him was irradiated from all the toxic waste the government illegally dumps) where norman osborn is president of the united states (and referred to as "ozzy osborn" lmao) and also a massive fascist dickbag (and venom's current host!). he then proceeds to beat said fascist dictator asshole to death with his guitar! by which i mean quite literally hit him so hard his organs come out ✨

(like - i saw someone theorising that hobie would be the twist villain of btsv and actually just using miles for his own benefit, and i had my own little "he would never fucking do that what the fuck 😡" moment before realising that they were probably just some 14 yr old kid who's never seen hobie before and is trying to come up with a dramatic twist. so i'm not taking it to heart! but please know that it was very bad and incorrect, hobie is a real one and would never 🫶 /lh)

if you get a chance to pick up any of his comics (or, uh, discover them in alternative ways, wink wink nudge nudge capitalism is a prison but seriously please consider buying them from small local comic book stores if you do - that way your money goes to an actual local business & the writers rather than a massive chain store corporation) then i highly recommend - not only are they super fun, but they're gorgeous,

(i know that the covers are always rendered differently to the actual comic pages but i just needed you to all look at these images, please, especially all the intricate details on the second one. i literally paused midway through reading my comic to stare at that cover with hearts in my eyes. he's so cool i adore him)

and they're also full of lyrical references to punk music, such as these (the first two off the top of my head - there are TONS more):

and they're pretty dang diverse, too! including, like, explicitly and undeniably queer characters (note: there's been a lot of misinformation spread around - hobie and karl (captain anarchy) aren't explicitly confirmed to be anything but platonic friends. karl DOES have a boyfriend whom he is explicitly romantic with, but it's not hobie! he's still totally queer though and nobody can convince me otherwise), which is pretty neat.

this isn't really relevant to hobie in specific, but it's part of his universe and i'm a massive daredevil fanboy, so i NEED you to witness his daredevil variant, mattea murdock:

tumblr isn't gonna let me add any more images (sob) so i'm gonna try n wrap this up fairly quick !!!

lightning round of just. fun and unfun facts, i guess:

hobie's homeless and lives in a community centre with the rest of his band

iirc "spiderpunk" was essentially his equivalent of "spidermenace", which he eventually adopted for himself because, well. they aren't wrong. (he got the name for the obvious reasons of his style and politics etc, but also because he can be quite brutal when he needs to be - see norman's very bad no good day above.)

his band is referred to as both "the spider-band" and "the daredevils" (after meeting mattea), which made my little daredevil fanboy heart soar a little ngl

in spiderverse specifically, hobie took 3 years to animate due to all the specific ways they stylised him and his movement! i am not an animator and cannot put it into actual technical terms so here's a tweet of one of the animators discussing it for anyone who's curious :]

he has a van called the spider-van, and sings the spiderman theme song at it sometimes ("🎶spider-van, spider-van, driving cross-country as fast as we can!🎶") which is ADORABLE. i love how cool he is in atsv but i need you to understand he's a DORK he's a NERD

another one for the dork point: he doesn't swear unless he's yelling at fascists (he's instead prone to a good "frick" "heckin" "motherlovin" etc). which i realise is probably just comic book censorship and them only being able to get away with a certain amount of tastefully censored swears and gore before someone gets in trouble and/or has to bump up the age rating, but also it drives his bandmates INSANE so i like to think he just does it for a giggle tbh. again, massive dork

and finally, to end things on a fun note: his current solo comic writer, cody ziglar, made him an official spiderpunk playlist so maybe we can stop having pointless playlist discourse and let people have fun!

i hope this infodump was alright and didn't disappoint fjdnfjfn!!! i definitely forgot (and/or ran out of space for) a bunch of shit but that just means i get to do this again, so :]!!!

[findafight]

On your post about Zuko and Steve. It is also interesting how a lot of people say X deserved redemption and 1. Redemption isn't deserved, it's earned. It's about realising you were wrong and making up for it. 2. When they write it so many of them write healing arcs not redemption arcs. Not them making it up to all the people they hurt but more acknowledgement of their own pain. That isn't redemption.

I think so many people get those two things confused. Yes, Azula deserves to heal. For a redemption arc she has to acknowledge she wronged people as opposed to villainising other characters.

Yes! Exactly!!! I read your first point and was gonna say "yeah redemption arc's are earned but healing arcs are deserved" so we are in agreement. I didn't put catra on the post because from what I understand her arc in the show was not redemption but healing. She acknowledges her abuse and works to free herself from it, but does not, within the show, get a chance to actively participate in fixing the things she hurt or ruined. The implication at the end (from my understanding as I haven't actually seen it) is that she would continue on the path to redemption and try to make things right.

Redemption and forgiveness come after healing for many of these kinds of things, or is part of the healing journey already started.

It's soo frustrating because Azula and Zuko's relationship is so messed up, and Azula is a 14/15 year old abused child who deserves to heal from the abuse Ozai subjected her to. But to say she deserves redemption only based on the core atla series... No? Zuko had to heal partially from what his farther did and from the indoctrination of his homeland before he was even ready to face his dad let alone help the Gaang. He then apologized and continues to heal! He had to go see the sun warriors to get his bending back because he had changed so much.

Azula doesn't apologize or attempt to make things right. She is fighting until the bitter end! She doesn't want redemption or healing at that point! A character, to have a successful redemption arc, must want it. That's the whole point! Azula has a mental breakdown at the end of the series and needs to recover from long-term abuse in order to figure out if she wants to redeem herself in the eyes of the world. (Which I don't think she does. I think Azula would be content to just stay in the palace and not think particularly hard about how she was going to enable a genocide. Perhaps some charity initiatives close to home, but never the wide scale acknowledgement like Zuko has done.)

Now. Okay I know I am mean to Billy (because it's so interesting how messed up he is while refusing to understand he is so messed up. Get help Billy) But he also deserves healing. I think it should be done far fucking away from Max and her friends, but he does deserve it, because literally everyone deserves to heal from their trauma or abuse. Billy is interesting because he is so fucked up, and there seems to be layers to that. His relationship with older women??? What the fuck? His resentment of Max? His weird obsession with Steve? Fascinating shit. But we don't get a chance to explore those or what they really mean. I don't really care that we don't tbh because I'd rather more screentime for the party/scoops troop than Billy. He's also just a racist asshole that has all the means to not be one and doesn't use them or ever feel bad about it.

Using his dead(?) Mom as sympathy points before he does literally the only decent thing he can and use his body to protect El and max is not redemption. It's a sacrifice. Like at the end of the last Skywalker? Kylo Ren doesn't redeem himself! He sacrifices himself! That is completely different. One good action to save someone does not make up for all the wrongs committed. Billy sacrificing himself when he knows he's already dead to give two kids more time is not Billy making changes to how he acts and apologizing for hurting people (specifically Max, Lucas, and Steve).

Also! These are two relationships with (step)siblings and I loooove sibling dynamics and complicated relationships but I think the ways in which their sibs would/could/should be involved in their healing is completely different.

Billy is Max's older brother who is shown to resent and abuse her. Max should not be near Billy. She should not be a component of his healing because it would be actively detrimental to her. He should get out of Hawkins and work on himself and then maybe years later call Max up and apologize so much for what he did. She is not responsible for his healing or forgiveness.

But I think Zuko would take an active part in Azula's healing process. For one, he is her big brother. He clearly wants to have a relationship with her, he craves those familial connections! I think he'd want to help her get better, and to see that he is not doing anything to spite her, but to help their nation and herself heal from Ozai's reign. Zuko wants to help her, and while he may sometimes separate himself from her for his own sake, I think he would want to take a more active role in assisting Azula and that would help him feel like he didn't just tear his family apart. He may not know exactly what Ozai did to her, but he knows it was bad and more focused after he was banished, so he would want to be there for his little sister. (People villainizing Zuko to make Azula look good don't make any sense ever tbh)

and listen. I have an angst au floating around my brain where most everything is the same except Azula and Zuko wrote to each other during him banishment and therefore had a strong sibling relationship, thereby making it even more horrible when they fight each other because they legitimately love and care for each other and want to be with their sibling. They simply do not understand why the other is against them because they know!! They love each other!! So why won't Zuko come home or why won't Azula listen when he tells her their father is wrong! Like full on sobbing why are you doing this! You're my brother!! I love you!! Type thing. It's very dramatic and very sad.

But anyways yeah I agree, anon, people get healing and redemption narratives mixed up and it's frustrating. No one deserves redemption but everyone deserves healing. Whether or not they redeem themselves is up to them. It is not up to other characters for that redemption.

[rkrispyt]

I was curious if you still have hope for Portwell? I saw that some portwells still have hope. I personally lost all hope mainly bc r*na is so popular and I don't think that Tim won't make them endgame... It's sad that, nowadays, many ships happen bc of fanservice... You don't even have to look from a storytelling perspective to see where things are going, you just have to check what the fandom says and that's prob gonna happen... One thing that I don't get tho... If Tim really wanted for r*na to be canon since ep 1x5, why did he spend all s2 to make us not ship them? In the second half they didn't have any interactions. Gina was still annoyed with him in ep 2x11. Why didn't Tim plant some seeds for them in the second half of s2? Why is Gina most of the time the one who does sth in that relationship and when Ricky does sth, it's bc Gina asked? And the only time when he has initiative they ruin that (taking his role seriously for her (ep 3x4) and later they reveal that he didn't even read the whole script on the opening night day). I personally could never ship them. I saw potential in s1 but after that they were ruined. S3 just tried to hide the s2 mess under the carpet instead of cleaning it (Ricky still does the bare minimum for Gina and he wasn't held accountable for how he hurt her in s2, he should've apologised!!!). Idk but Gina deserves so much better... They'll prob make Ricky the best bf to her in the next seasons, but that won't change the way they got together (with Gina putting in most of the effort)... That means she is ok with the bare minimum as long as she is with Ricky which is really sad... She deserves so much more... Portwell deserved so much more... s2 Portwell would've def survived that summer... I hate fan service for ruining them...

I’m shocked to hear anyone still has hope for canon Portwell, ngl. I do not and can’t imagine ever having any ever again tbh. They not only effed them up pretty bad but the writers have lost me entirely. At this point I’d dread seeing what this team would do with them if they tried again.

To answer the rest of this ask, I will die on the hill that Gicky was not actually the plan or endgame or any of this nonsense backtracking Tim’s been doing. I can believe that when he put them together in season one it ended up intriguing him more than he had thought, but considering what they did with season two clearly it wasn’t enough for him to switch up the plan at that point to put them together or set up something in the future - quite the opposite soooooo tell me again how this was always the plan? Sure, Jan.

It’s so obvious to anyone paying the tiniest bit of attention that Olivia left, so they shifted everything to give Ricky another love interest that they thought could compete in any way with Rini and lose the least amount of viewers upon her departure. Gina was the only real option. They didn’t even do it WELL cause they cared more about doing it as quickly as possible.

I admit that during season three I don’t know if I would have claimed it was fan service, but after seeing that Tim had a version of that final scene where he jumped on that entirely unfounded and random Gicky theory about the chocolates, unfortunately, I have to agree with you.

I will never not be disappointed that this show that brought me such joy, was written so well, didn’t do all the garbage you would expect from this kind of show, and boasted about being proud that they were telling stories of good people being good to each other, has turned into such trash.

S2 Portwell will forever be one of my favorite ships, winning me over completely (as an anti and Gicky fan going into that season) because of how well they wrote it . Alas, another casualty of outside factors switching up the plan and terrible choices being made by those in charge as a result.

The Summer of Portwell was one for the books, but now, for that HEA fanfiction is where it’s at, friends!

[paintingformike]

I got really curious after one of your latest posts about your thoughts on bi mike vs gay mike. what's your main evidence for bi mike?

personally, I was a bi mike truther until I started my latest st rewatch a week ago. I always thought that mike had a genuine crush on el in season 1 but this time I noticed that mike didn't really show any romantic interest in her until lucas pointed out that mike likes el. before that, it was just mike being his friendly and caring self. and idk, every romantic moment between them seemed so forced to me, like mike was just doing what he thought he was supposed to be doing. and yeah, that whole dialogue before their first kiss was also weird. I haven't started season 3 yet, so maybe there will be some moments that'll show that mike is bi but for now, my only evidence of him being bi is byler/rockie parallels because vickie is clearly meant to be bi. I'm just so confused now, honestly, because I was so sure that mike is bi before this rewatch lol

sorry if some of these sentences don't make sense, my English is really bad...

nooo anon dont worry about your english, you’re perfectly understandable! to me personally i do see them portraying mike having genuine (but shallow) feelings for el via the inherently romantic tropes applied to them in s1-s2 (getting interrupted, the tiny bit of tension between them and all that), but that’s it, and the way i interpreted the painting plotline also makes me believe he had a shallow infatuation for el, but i’ve read a lot of gay mike analyses that have made me reconsider my stances on his sexuality and the byler storyline.

the byler/rockie parallels are also strong evidence of bi mike (and byler getting together in general) but it’s not really enough for me to discount the possibility of gay mike in the show considering a lot of points that make me believe they might go that route are narrative choices for his character. one example being the way he only showed interest in el after it was pointed out to him by other people, like you said, the stark contrast in how they make lucas and dustin show interest in multiple women but little to nothing from mike in comparison, they’ve also made him mirror will in this aspect (the way they both react to max in s2 compared to lucas and dustin).

season 3 was the most “i’m just doing what i think i’m supposed to do in typical het romantic relationships” season for mike because...he really was just being coached around by lucas constantly, looking totally clueless without him and most of his actions just him trying to adhere to societal expectations like getting his girlfriend a gift (?) and just. not initiating anything himself out of genuine love for el, he really needed a third party to hold his hand through navigating his relationship 😭 also the byler fight in s4 and how he said “thats because shes my girlfriend will” emphasizing the status of their relationship instead of saying something more genuine like el being important to him so obviously he’d write her letters...the majority of it was just him putting up a performance.

tbh he can still be bi and conforming to whats considered “normal” and thats what i was always firm in, but it can also be that they’re trying to portray how he really has no clue how to act when it comes to girls because he just feels no attraction to them. like the reason he needs his hand held through his relationship with a girl is because as a gay man it was never meant for him from the start, and the reason he can’t tell her he loves her is because...it was always impossible for him to feel anything towards her. he didn’t realize it at first (he wasn’t even sure of the difference between platonic and romantic before they kissed) but by s4 he was fully aware he only felt platonic care for el and was scared of losing her if he was honest about his true feelings (which explains the desert heart to heart he had with will.)

the duffers (or any other person from the writer’s room) have watched shows that portrayed internalized homophobia and characters that dated women while being cloested gay men, such as dawson’s creek and eyewitness, so that’s another factor that makes me think they could be writing mike to be gay because they’ve already gotten ideas of what it’s like, they’re not completely clueless. anyway this got too long (sorry anon i got carried away asjdksj) but the bottomline is i think both bi and gay mike have equal chances of being canon and are strong contenders in their own right, and while i used to think they wouldn’t explicitly confirm his sexuality, i realized they basically have to because they also need to clarify in the plot the true nature of mike’s feelings for el throughout their relationship and if he ever really loved her or felt attracted to her, it goes hand in hand with his sexuality arc and they can’t really just brush this over without leaving some kind of gaping hole in the storyline. mike’s gonna have to express how he really felt about el throughout their relationship so yeah...those are my two cents 👍

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 39 - thoughts.

Heya everyone! Back here with the latest chapter's notes :>! Sorry for taking a bit longer this time, I haven't been feeling quite well tbh (I'm a bit sick, and then I got that monthly visit wtf, and it's super hot again too!!! UGH)

There's nothing much to say outside of a few highlights here and there, and how I initially wanted to write one scene but didn't go with it in the end.

As always, I recommend you read the newest chapter first before continuing, also, no that great of a proofreading was done here 😅 but I hope you're still able to enjoy it!!

And without further ado, spoilers under the cut:

Things I wanted to show/clarify in this chapter: What really happened in Naoya’s mind when he was sick. Albeit a bit… rushed (or so that’s how I feel it went) I still think I managed to cover most of the things :>

So to everyone’s (or perhaps not lol) surprise, Naoya did remember most of the stuff that happened—Yep, even that promise.

Now, I was told that many would not take well the possibility of him denying it, so… I’m sorry to say that he had to act the fool lol. It’s pretty much true at this point that something did happen between his family and Y/N’s in order for that marriage to happen, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Naoya would suddenly go back on his words and just act like it didn’t even happen in the first place.

What’s worse (or commendable I guess) is that he tried to distract Y/N by “bribing” her with pancakes… if only his transgression wasn’t as awful as it was.

The whole thing was very tense afterwards, however, because of this, I think he finally allowed himself to be a bit more open about his feelings, like, actually reflecting on his actions. But he’s not quite there yet, as you saw in this chapter. He gets that he messed up, sure, but he still believes that she’s overreacting, and sometimes, even blaming others.

As stated, he doesn’t really get all the fuzz about being close to one’s family, just his mom I guess (and we all know how that went), but outside of that he’s like “Ah, whatever. She’s supposed to be most of the time with my family anyways.”

But of course, after having a relatively happy interactions with Y/N and then back to square one, if not worse… well, something had to change.

That had to be the biggest advancement in his character. In the previous moments where Y/N has been shown to be suffering, unhappy, so on and so forth, Naoya couldn’t care any less; He wanted to be the most detached away from that situation and jump back in when she’s in a better mood—but now, he’s all about seeing her get better; helping her get better. He doesn’t like the sight of her being sick, unhappy.

He’d give her the whole world if she asked for it type-of-thing, even willing to push aside his differences with Naoaki for her sake.

Kind of lol. Naoya is still a very jealous man indeed. Also, not all of the flowers were from Naoaki, just a few here and there, most of them were from her staff instead and one other servant that heard of her predicament and wanted to wish her a quick recovery, but in his eyes, it doesn’t really matter: if there’s one flower that came from Naoaki, that’s all he cares about.

The second advancement would be his opening up. The way he had to seek Ranta for the first time in his life just to talk about his feelings is something that had the poor kid rightfully surprised. And he doesn’t even know about the nightmare yet 😊 Not that I remember writing it anyways lol. I don’t think it’s something Naoya (or anyone really) could easily put in words, the emotional burden must be OOF.

I wonder what kind of reaction Ranta would have to that nightmare? He would be petrified for sure.

The third advancement would be related to the second one, and it would be Naoya’s initiative when trying to “mend” his mistakes with Y/N. Like, he didn’t even call Ranta for suggestions on how to win her back or something, although he did get some persuasion on his part.

It was mostly Naoya just… speaking from the heart if you like. As if he wanted to do things that he thought would make her happy. He didn’t even question them, think of them as silly or anything, he just did them because he wanted to (if only he did the other thing!!!)

This part has to be the saddest one of the whole chapter. Naoya trying really hard to make amends with Y/N and her simply not having it.

The worst one yet would have to be how she rejected one of his absolute favorites, his manga.

I had to make it nasty, at least what I thought nasty, and for me that was using one of the most commonly associated words when describing people who like anime: weird.

It hurt Naoya for sure to hear those words coming out of her mouth, it’s one of those happenings that if traumatizing enough, would push him to never open up to anyone ever again. But all I gotta say is that I’m not done with that aspect of his just yet 😊 and who knows, maybe they’ll connect about it in the future. And with her own likings too.

The flowers were obviously another thing that hurt the most when writing, and I was actually planning on making them sunflowers instead of roses to have a bigger emotional significance, call it a “coincidence” to the fact that Hinata literally means sunflower and this just would’ve pissed of Y/N even more.

The scene was going to develop something like:

If Naoya wanted to make amends, he should’ve at least had the decency to not gift you flowers that remind you of your sister—the one he had strictly barren you from seeing in the first place.

But I went for roses because I thought it would be a bit worse, considering their romantic significance and whatnot 😊 That’s the whole reason why she reacted so… crudely—because honestly, who thinks it’s a good idea to profess your “love” for someone that essentially hates you? Naoya didn’t’ do much thinking on that one, eh?

Finally, but not least… the confrontation. This must be the first time Y/N has openly told Naoya of the things he’s done to her—and believe me, this… certainly affected him. He was crying in front of her, and that’s another thing I don’t think she’s ever seen him do!

Unfortunately, it’ll pass undetected to her. But next time, it won’t 😊

TLDR:

Naoya treated the same situations from the past with a different perspective, when he was previously dismissive, if not completely detached, now he’s nothing but involved. Seems like he’s slowly getting… somewhere.

Y/N needs accountability.

And that’s it for this chapters notes!!! They’re quite short because I think I mentioned all of the things I wanted to in the chapter :> And there’s still more to come next one…

Honestly all of this is pointing to the next chapter, to the one moment I’ve been dreaming of since I literally started plotting everything.  And I said before, I just hope everything comes out as expected!! Unfolds nicely!!!! If not :^)?

Anyways, these are just a few things that I consider relevant when writing the chapters, of course if there’s something else you’d like to know more about just let me know and I’ll try to do my best to answer!

As always, thank you so much for your support!!!! We’re finally approaching the sweet part of the story, I think hehe :> Can’t wait to show it!

Take care everyone, and hope to see you next update!

[wondernus]

alright nu, I remember giving you a list of recs before and now I bring more with commentary 😏 now you don’t have to read any of these but they’re some of my current reads that I dig :D

Starting off with…..

1. Lion Heart by Choi Soohyun

Manwha, Josei, modern, medical romance, married-to-work-chaebol x equally-married-to-work-surgeon, he fell first then fell harder, hilarious side characters, contract relationship, immaculate chefs kiss, INSANE ART pls they’re so hot

Season 1 complete, season 2 just started

2. The Top Couple Is a Bit Sweet

Manhua, shoujo but walks the line of josei a little, modern, romcom drama, showbiz, another contract relationship 🤩, more insane art with a hot couple, I haven’t read very far but the vibes and chemistry are off the charts tbh, he totally fell first, power couple frfr

Season 1 almost complete I think

3. I Stan The Prince

Manwha, shoujo, historical but lots of modern references, romcomfan, TOOTH ROTTING SWEETNESS, ML has actual mfing emotions and shows them, she fell first he fell harder ordeal, original work so no novel, not as cliche as you may think, MORE INSANE ART, one of my top faves of all time omg, this one is for the kpoppies

Season 1 complete, season 2 just picked up after a two year hiatus 🥹

4. The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague

Manga, josei, modernc slice-of-life, supernatural office romcom, SO WHOLESOME, lot of memes in this one, ML is sososo sweet, FL is too cool, japanese lore is what makes this supernatural, side couples are equally amazing, just super cute light read

Volumes 1-7 completed, vol.8 ongoing

5. Run, Meil

Manwha, shoujo, isekai, historical, romcom, memes are abundant here too, girl gang is so comedic, ML is sweet, FL isn’t dumb and is actually smart nor does she care about original storyline, og!fl is a cutie too and gets her own happy ending, miscommunications are mild and get spoken through, I’m super picky about shoujos but I love this one

Season 1 complete, season 2 TBA

6. The Girl and The Geek

Manhwa, josei but cute like a shoujo, modern, romcom, slide of life, MAJOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, super sweet and natural love, they make each other better 🥹🥹🥹, their families can be annoying, her family I can’t really forgive, but his family is only initially overbearing but you def warm up to them, humble rich CEO dude, miscommunications but their handled pretty well and actually does something for the plot, ugh the story is so good

COMPLETED WITH SPECIAL EPISODES

idk if you follow Stray Kids but ml is so han jisung coded, there’s a recent photo of han that is soooo this ML 😭😭

HONORABLE MENTION BC IDK IF I REC’D IT BEFORE BUT I’VE TALKED ABOUT IT

7. You Are My Desire (aka Daydreaming About Me)

Manhua, josei, romcom drama, starts off in high school but later half is in college, first loves, some mature topics in relation to family problems, idek what to say but god I just love them sfm and I think the artist is from the same studio as the Hidden Love artist, the novel is sauuuuur good, comic does it justice but I recommend the novel even more

Season 1 ongoing but novel is complete

HI AUTUMN!! i'm sorry this was from so long ago alskfjlasjdf but I added every single one of these recs onto my reading list so I'll be getting to them when I have time and when they're close to being finished. here are some of my recs in return!!! (these are all completed)

L -> R

father I don't want this marriage: I think this one just ended but GOD I love a good reincarnation manhwa and a DILF. the plot is really cliche but I just love the genre so much

the dilettante: E2L mafia member x secret agent. what more do you want?? (I wanted so much more that I looked up the original korean novel and went to a forum to read about what happens in the novel)

bring the love: I hate how some people dropped this because they didn't like the art style but this literally has to be one of the best romances I've ever read. the characters are mature and they communicate really well. they touch upon a lot of social topics that aren't usually talked about in the historical genre. green flags all around.

do you know anything about tpo kageyama-kun?!: plugging a kagehina dj because I squealed when I read this and literally reread it over and over bc of how cute it was

[twdmusicboxmystery]

not sure if you are aware but amc plus is not doing early release of any of the daryl dixon episodes. My initial thoughts are, is this because they do not want anything spoiled, that they want everyone to see the same episodes released at the same time. If beth returns I do believe there will be mixed reviews from the GA, the same with the hate that TD got especially in the beginning.

Another thought, Glenn's fake out death. On the Talking Dead right after the episode where he is revealed alive, one of the writers- can't remember which one said something along the line that the reason they did the fake out death for Glenn was to test the waters on fake out deaths. TDers always believed this was about beth. That they planned to revealed her alive. Imo bringing back Madison and Troy are examples of seeing how the GA feels about bringing back "dead" characters. As far as I have read, the GA wasn't mad about them returning.

I have always wondered if the backlash about bethyl was why they didn't bring her back sooner. In the beginning the writers played with her age too much. At the farm she was a teenager. Hershel makes the comment about this, when talking about her and Jimmy. At the prison she is raising a baby yet she tells Axel she's 16 or 17 I can't remember, then daryl refers to her as a dumb college b. Yet EK was in her 30s and you could tell. For example other young characters like lyda, Enrid or Carl seem young on the show, they felt like teens. Beth never did. She should have been aged in the beginning the same as tara or rosita. Everyone argument about bethyl was age. Still is if you follow reddit. After all these years beth would not be in that teenage category. Possibly meaning the GA would be more open to the idea.

Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?

I think they messed up from a PR standpoint when it comes to not showing the episodes to those who pay for the app early. Personally, I don't really care when the episodes drop. I'm watching them either way. But they've released them early for all the shows for so long now that if they were going to change it, they should have done a very big, very obvious announcement about that, and they didn't. People were expecting to be able to watch it yesterday, and that's not happening. So, now they're doing a lot of damage control. Not good.

As for the rest, you make good points about them wanting everyone to watch the episodes together. I seriously doubt it's about episode 1. So much of that episode--practically all of it, tbh--has been spoiled already in one way or another, that it wouldn't matter if they showed that episode early.

But it's probably not about the first few episodes at all. Maybe they're just setting a precedent so that everyone watches the last episode together. And if that's the case, it does suggest something huge happening in that episode. Let's hope so!

I really enjoyed reading what you said about tptb testing the waters for the fakeout. I'd forgotten that about Glenn's death. And I agree that no one seems particularly angry about Troy's or Madison's return. Which means tptb have done their job, getting the GA used to this sort of thing so there will be less of a backlash. There will always be detractors, of course. And Troy and Madison aren't a big part of the shipping wars, as Beth is, so there's that. But still, all great points.

And yes, I totally agree that no one will be able to say anything about Beth's age anymore. She told Axel she was 17, and that was only a year or two into the apocalypse. I read in one of the review articles that the Daryl spinoff goes out of its way to tell the audience we are now 12 years into the apocalypse. There must be some reason they are being so specific about that. So, without a doubt, Beth would be close to 30 now.

And just like that, arguments about her age are gone. ;D Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. I guess we'll have lots to talk about on Sunday. 😊 Xoxo! 🍁🍂💓