#tbh . im OKAY with the fact my life is for the most part boring and uneventful cuz

[cameronmitchelljohn]

people i know are going to parties or events tonight and im gonna be listening to rent and rewatching dazed and confused . what a fucking loser

[sabh0]

Is skk abusive? Other than the name calling and banter that I just don't take seriously, I've seen people say that Dazai is abusive since he planned for Chuuya to be tortured in stormbringer and didn't help because it would be boring, despite having the ability to do so. There's also the whole manipulating the sheep thing.

I've also seen people say that Chuuya is abusive because of how violent he is, how he punched Dazai to wake him up in Dead Apple and called him inhuman(? Ngl, I don't remember that part) and because Chuuya shot him more times than necessary in Meursault.

Personally, I struggle to see them as abusive r toxic, if only because of how much they trust and understand each other, and how they rile each other up for fun without letting it actually impact their relationship, but I may just be biased? What do you think?

Ok im just gonna say - dont take this post ad some 100% real wisdom or anything. It's just my personal opinion and it's definitely biased as well because of how much these two mean to me but yeah

I wouldn't call them abusive in relationship terms because all that banter and most of their fights are just, as u said it, unserious.

They're both fucked up a bit tho, so yeah there's definitely some toxic behaviours anyway.

Dazai manipulating Chuuya to join the sheep always made me real sad, but if you think about it more - Dazai knew The Sheep aren't any better for Chuuya. Plus if not like this, Mori would get Chuuya to join PM anyway in one way or another, since it was a plan from the beginning.

Dazai planned the whole 'helping Verlaine' thing to buy time so the PM forces could get ready to protect Mori and Chuuya later. That's mafia they're in - lives are not equal. Also Dazai wouldn't put Chuuya in danger he knew the other wouldn't be able to deal with. Either way, his whole yapping about wanting to see Chuuya being tortured is yet again that stupidly weird banter of theirs. After all, he's trying to find him and literally stop him from doing something he would regret. (Sab is trying to make some points but that still doesn't make whatever Dazai did something good. Just sayin. I just don't feel it's a black or white situation.)

I said it some time ago but lord, Chuuya is not abusive. Look, he knows when it's alright to fight Dazai and when he should stop himself not to hurt him. Even if they fight, he never does it seriously. Basement scene? He could've very well just punched Dazai without warning there. But instead he literally invited him to fight - and Dazai very much agreed to that sht with a smile on his lips. They're just very much not okay in the head on both sides. Later when Chuuya actually got angry, he himself threw his knife to the ground, which only shows he doesn't really have any intent of hurting Dazai seriously (In the manga. In the anime they changed it for whatever reason and he did strike him with the knife. But anime skk is just. Anime skk.).

That Dead Apple argument is so funny bc??? Chuuya was literally UNDER CORRUPTION AT THE TIME??? Corruption literally makes him lose control. He could kill a person with one touch. Instead??? Corruption Chuuya in dead apple somehow managed to hold himself back just enough not to actually hurt Dazai. Also, Dazai f knew he's gonna punch him anyway. I mean, bro kinda deserved it atp tbh /j

Cant really tell much about the shooting thing in Meursault - i stil have no f idea if these were even real, considering the fact Dazai is moving normally and there's no wounds/holes/blood visible on him or his clothes. These were probably just a play like the whole headshot thing?? (Tho dazai's scream and expression after that arm shot say otherwise),, really don't know, call it a better impression on Fyodor or Chuuya actually paying Dazai back for the other times

Ok so ,looks at all that sht i just wrote and tried to still excuse it somehow, I wouldn't call them abusive anyway just bc I've seen actual abusive relationships in real life and that's just uhh different in a way i cant really put my finger on,, there's some toxicity simply from the fact they're emotionally constipated and won't talk things thru like they should but,,, welp. Tbh i see most of their usual fighting as something unserious that both of em r okay with. Usually when they actually get into an argument about something it's because one actually got hurt by the other's words (for example that scene with Chuuya punching Dazai after he made jokes about Colonel's death). And they apologize without really apologizing, too (Dazai going to find Shibusawa and trying to take revenge on Colonel's death and later Chuuya going to rescue Dazai and saying to 'wait for him').

Unpopular opinion but i honestly feel that in the future they could very well form a normal, healthy relationship. They just really need to talk. Bickering and calling each other names for fun isn't imo really a form of abuse, when both sides know it's not meaning to hurt the other fr (if it was, then me and most of my friends would be fr abusing each other unfortunately) (and I don't feel abused even if we call each other names and say we hate each other, while watching cat reels together at the same time) (consider this some sibling-like stuff)

If nothing of whatever i just said makes sense, don't eat me please, it's just really hard for me to explain what i really think without being able to just talk for 5h straight while considering every ppint of view

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[thelovelybitten]

vera’s first watch of south park — season four (part 5?)

I really need to not write so much but I need to for science

EPISODE 14:

is this another Christmas special

?????

PIP !!!

he’s so BABIE

AYO THAT THROW WAS PERSONAL

tbh not gonna pay too much attention to this one Imma be real

PIP DOING A JIG PLEASE

OH ESTELLA

pip receives dice cool ??

the set for london is rad

I wish my attention span cared abt this episode but I can’t be bothered it’s BORING

oh the cheating

I was reading other things SORZ

final act woo

oh there’s monkeys and men hanging to their death

and bunnies

oh bunnies are dead

old lady burned to a crisp and Estella loving each other alright the end

okay pog

EPISODE 15:

THIS INTRO JUST DOESNT MISS I AM TWERKING EVERYTIME

oh miss choksondik is back

BOT MANATEES

Wendy speaking facts

OH MY GOD NOT THE MANATEE SLAUGHTER

cartman getting away w anything is not surprising

but YO VITE BACK TO MANATEE TIME

EW CARTMAN THAT IS STRAIGHT BUTTER THAT IS DISGUSTING

CARTMAN GOING TO FAT CAMP AS THEY SHOULD

Mr.Garrison real for that

OH MY GOD THERE IS GUTS EVERYWHERE

I’m gonna vomit

GUYS DONT GET KENNY TO EAT IT

oh he’s gonna die from that isn’t he

THEY SLAUGHTERED SO MANY MANATEES IM UPSET

okay cartman let’s go 2 fat camp

EW

OF COURSE KENNY IS SICK THE FUCK

KYLE STOP KENNY DO NOT EAT THAT

NO GROSS KENNY NO

y’all are so weird for this

Cartman feral fr

LMAO such a good scheme

WHAT

no fucking way

CARTMAN THAT IS NOT YOU

I know it’s not him I FEEL IT IN MY BONES

NO KENNY DO NOT EAT THAT DOG SHIT

THAT IS SO VILE

KENNY IS GONNA DIE OH MY GOD IM GONNA THROW UP STOP

KENNY IS NOT A PROSTITUTE

pop off chef

WHAT THE HELL LMAOOOOOO I’m crying

principal Victoria is NOT HAVING IT

I FUCKING KNEW IT

CARTMAN IS SO MANIPULATIVE

STOP MY BABY KENNY IS GETTING SO BEAT UP

KENNY IM SO SORRY BABY BOY IM SO UPSET

KENNY YOU CANNOT BE FOR REAL

EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK KENNY DO NOT CLIMB INTO SOMEONES UTERUS ?’vbv THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE

and KENNY DO NOT GET ORAL SEX YOU ARE 8

OFC KENNY IS IN JAIL WHAT DID YALL EXPECT

KENNY’S PARENTS ENCOURAGING THIS IS SO FUCKED

oh they made fake cartman go into the uterus instead so slay

YO WHAT THE FUCK

fake cartman died big L

ANOTHER KID ?!?!

EPISODE 16:

IKE AND KYLE PLAYING BALL OMG

RAGING PUSSIES LMAOOOO

Kyle is doing the most to go to this concert

HIS DRAWINGS IM SO 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 HES really so cute okay

SHEILA AND GERALD ARE TOO STUNNED TO SPEAK

KENNY PLAYING WITH A FIRE TRUCK 🥹🥹🥹🥹 MY BABY

no CARTMAN DONT TELL KYLE TO CALL THE POPO WITH A FAKE MOLESTATION CLAIM

THIS IS SO BAD

OH MY GOD NO

OH SHITTTTTT

KYLE FUCKING SLAYING THE HOUSE DOWN CMON UNDERWEAR SHADES

THE KIDS BEING KIDS POP AWF

OLD TOWN ROCK N ROLL A BANGER

IKE NOT THE TOASTER

KYLES PARTY BE LIT AS FUCK

hc: kyles parties are always THE FUCKING BOMB next to the rest of the core four and Clyde

Clyde just knows HOW TO THROW A PARTYYY

Stan would get Shelly to boot for him

heck, Randy would do it too

Liane would for cartman

Kyle has a loophole w Stan as super best friends do

Kenny is the life of the party but can’t host shit bc of his family life FUCK

anyways back to the ep

NOT STAN GETTING SHELLY ARRESTED TOO

this is where this Stan dancing meme came from I see

LIANE HAVING A THREESOME LMAOOAOA

damn they really gettin everyone

GHOST TOWN

smiley town so real

BUTTERS <33

CRAIG IN HIS SPACE SUIT OH MY GOD IM CRYING HES SO CUTE

ITS SOACEMAN CRAIG

him making the noises as he walks away has me in shambles

KINDERGARTENER HOBGOBLINS

of COURSE CARTMAN IS MAYOR

Oh MY GOD KENNY IS DEAD

Pretends to be shocked

STAN AND KYLE SLAY

oh my god this is SO FUNNY

BUTTERS BROKE THE CAR

of course Wendy is on team stan she’s so real

Bebe on team cartman not cool

STOP IM CRINGING

ANYWAYS THIS EP WAS FUNNY

EPISODE 17:

LAST EP OF THE SEASON

and it’s a Christmas one. great

KYLE MANIFESTING MR HANKEY STOP

but him and Ike are so precious I can’t

STOP THEM SLEEPING ON EACH OTHER

perfect fucking siblings ON THE ENTIRE SHOW

parents putting them to bed 🥹

STAN IS ASLEEP KYLE PLEASE

KENNY HAS NO PANTS

the boys are disheveled I DONT BLAME THEM

I hate mr HANKEY with every fibre of my body

THE KIDS !!! cartman as Santa and the rest of the boys AS REINDEER 🥹🥹

Kenny as Rudolph 😭😭😭

snoopy cameo

BUTTERS MAKING THE CUTOUTS

OH HE ATE THESE

SO SLAY

BUTTERS ROBBED HE SLAYED THAT ARTS N CRAFTS

I cant be BOTHERED WITH THIS MUSIC NUMBER UGH

okay lion king ref

THE BOYS ARE SO CUTE

DREIDEL SONG SLAYED AGAIN

KYLE AND CARTMAN FIGHTING THIS ONE WAS ICONIC

wait they are demonstrating how the creators animate these shows !! THATS SO COOL

god I did not know this was stop action ?!?! FUCKING COOL

THEY MADE A WENDY CUTOUT THATS MY GIRRRRLLLL

okay KYLE W THE VOCALS

STAN’S CARTMAN IMPRESSION ATE

NO NOT KENNY

Style directors and writers as they should

OH NO

NOT THE FILM BURNING

WAIT THEY FIXED IT EPIC

WENDYYYYYY I LOVE HER

LMAO CHRISTMAS IS ABT PRESENTS REAL

END OF SEASON I MADE IT WOOOOO

gonna watch season 5 RIGHT AFTER DANCE

[aartemiss11]

„The Secret History” by Donna Tartt ~ review

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫/5

My feelings about this book are really unclear to me tbh.

I finished it today so im still didn’t have time to objectively look at the book as whole. But im still posting a review because why not XD

Just so you know there might be some spoilers be carefull

Let’s start with things I’m sure I liked.

The writing Oh lord i loved it so much. The descriptions were so vibrant and illustrative and not boring which is often an issue for me. I actually enjoyed reading them and i didn’t feel like they were hard to get through. And the metaphores were just *chef’s kiss*. Overall the writing was amazing it’s my main reason why i want to read another books by Donna Tartt.

The beginning and first half I heard people saying that the beginning was really an issue for them to get through and get hooked by the story. Well, it wasn’t that case for me. I thought the parts when Richard was talking about his life before Hampden and how he got there were interesting. Just like the parts where we started getting to know our gang. The mystery behind those characters captivated me into reading it. Like in general i truly enjoyed first half of the book. The moments in the Francis’ house were really fun to read. Richard’s winter was also interesting to get through. Also this whole thing with the rest of the gang doing something behind Richard’s back really kept me flipping pages.

Certain characters Well, most of the characters in this book were unlikeable. But i think it was done on purpose so I’m not mad. But there are few that i actually liked. First, we have Richard. That might be surprising because of the fact that he’s so bland and he basically doesn’t have a personality, he just makes himself one, but that made me sympathize with him and even relate a little bit. It sounds kinda sad XD but i can understand his need to fit in and lying about his life (although i’ve never done that) because of the feeling that his real life and self is boring and dull. I see Camilla as a promise of a really good character. I feel like if she would get more time in the book, proper development and if she would actually do something meaningfull she would be so much more interesting. But I still think she was fine. I also can’t say nothing wrong about Francis he’s just a good guy.

The ending It wasn’t anything special but i think it was a good closure to the story.

Now moving on to what i didn’t like.

Second half of the book After the death of Bunny I felt like the book kinda lost its direction. I had no idea where the story was going and for some time i think the book also hadn’t. It was just boring tbh. Maybe till Charles started doing some more sketchy shit and Camilla moved out it was hard to get through. The whole funeral and what was happening after (idek what was that) really didn’t do it for me.

How the book didn’t affect me emotionally I almost felt nothing while reading this book. Beyond the curiosity that kept me going. Like i didn’t really care that Bunny died, I wasn’t even really happy about it, I was just „Oh okay finally the part that the beginning was talking about.”. I didn’t even care that Henry killed himself. Or the attempted suicide of Francis or drinking problems of Charles. I think it was because I just felt ambivalent about those charscters and i think thats why this read wasn’t really emotional for me. It’s not necessary a bad thing but i just expected more.

The disappearance of Julian Morrow I really thought that this character would play a major role in the story. Or at least be more present. Or, maybe, be like a puppet master and secretly manipulate everyone from behind the scenes. But then he just like… Wasn’t even there? Like he was in the beginning, he had some small bits in the middle, and he was at the very end. I am really dissapointed that his character was so underused. Because i genuinely think he was an interesting character.

Incest Pretty self explanatory. What was the reason to even include it?

Portrayal of gay people I don’t know it felt weird with the moments where same sex interactions happened just because someone was at hand at the time.

Summary

Now thinking about it more I can say that objectively this book was great. That’s why I was so unsure about my final rating. But i asked myself a question: is that book as good as other books that you like and rate higher than 4 stars? And the answer is no. I wasn’t as invested in the characters or the plot to say that it is. Although i would still recommended. Just beware that it might not live up to your expectations.

[tsuzuruchipalace]

rating mankai company based on character design

Note: I will take into account hair, color scheme, sprite poses, mostly outfits that are not from plays or scouts, and memorability. This is half an objective view and half my personal opinion.

Disclaimer: I curse a lot for comedic effort. I am mean because I am funny. No, you cannot disagree.

Spring 🌸

sakuya: you get what you see. a literal spring babey. his hair and color scheme’s a little generic, but he’s mankai’s poster boy, so that’s understandable. speaking of generic, his main pose is just this emoji 🧍‍♂️ his outfits tend to be kinda basic, but any outfit with a mostly pink top gets him bonus points. 6/10

masumi: okay his hair is elite. probably one of the most memorable character design aspects among the cast. his mole and eyes also make him very pretty. love my boy’s dark color scheme. unfortunately, points must be docked for baiting us with the emo fit, then as the story progresses, he starts dressing like the trust fund kid he is smh. 9/10

tsuzuru: i love you tsuzu but. my mans is so basic. if he didn’t have such a great personality, he’d be as bland as untoasted white bread. the saya of a3. his best design aspect is the fact that he doesn’t dye his roots. his outfits look comfy, but not necessarily eye-catching. 4/10

itaru: everyone who starts a3! with no knowledge of these characters has one (1) thought about itaru. sec sea man. so obviously there’s something appealing/good about his character design. i think part of the appeal is his fuck-all demeanor. obviously, his eyes and hairstyle are attractive, but the way the artists draw him gives him an air of not caring, which is also attractive in a way. his dyed tips are also nice. he looks kinda lame when he dresses professionally, but his casual outfits hit. especially the ones with light pink. 8/10

citron: although i’m not a big fan of the “character is foreign and therefore must talk and dress different and be funny” trope in these types of media, his fashion does make him stand out from the other characters who tend to have more basic clothes. citron’s summer, travel, and autumn outfits SLAP and anyone who says otherwise has bad taste. his hair and eyes are interesting, but his overall color scheme can be a bit repetitive. 7/10

chikage: i hate this guy’s fucking bowlcut. fucking salad bowl lookin ass. every outfit is the same turtleneck and sneakers in two alternate colors. his outfits are so plain. only thing i like is his casual outfit glasses. HOWEVER. that’s the point. he’s supposed to look boring and blend in because he’s a spy. it’s a smart design, i just don’t like it so im docking points. stay mad about it. 5/10

Summer ☀️

tenma: im yawning. you think tsuzu was boring? this guy has orange hair and i still find his design boring. that’s how you know he’s basic. he’s got generic messy shounen protag hair. he could be from any property. if i drew fanart of him, people would ask where he’s from. he either dresses like your slightly homophobic frat boy classmate or a grandfather who gets his shit stolen by the asshole kids next door. 2/10

yuki: he has the r a n g e. all of yuki’s casual outfits hit. they’re all different, but cute in their own way. to no one’s surprise, one of the best styled characters. though i like his general color scheme, i’m personally not the biggest fan of his hairstyle. it’s okay, but a little plain at times. but i think it suits him well. 7/10

muku: i love him. muku’s design is what i love about this game. you see him, and you immediately know what his character archtype is supposed to be. he’s the soft, cute boy. and if this was a mediocre series, that’d be all muku is. but since this is a3, he’s so much more than that. he’s smart, passionate, sensitive to others’ feelings, and protective. a3 does a great job designing characters that look exactly like their archtype, but having a much more developed personality than that. getting back to the actual subject at hand, i love his hairstyle and color, as well as his outfits. you can never go wrong with light pink hair. i may be biased but fuck you. 10/10

misumi: another great memorable design. his eye shape and hair style are really unique. his outfits also elevate his design. street fashion is always a plus for me. though sumi’s design is special in the world of a3! where most of the characters are just. guys. regular lookin dudes. i think that outside of the game, his design would not be as unique. 8/10

kazunari: personally, im a fan. maybe it’s cause i have an affinity for blonde anime boys. but his hairstyle is pretty unique and his trendy looks set him apart from most characters, even outside this game. and he has a pretty lovable expression in his sprites. his fatal flaw is that his fits are either a hit or miss. they’re either really cute or wtf. at least he’s memorable. 8/10

kumon: i love that he reminds me of an owl. his hair and eyes are very cute and his color scheme is great. and i think they did a great job making him look related to juza, but still very much his own character. but he dresses like your classmate from middle school that looks like a nike-sponsored highlighter. yeah, he’s the sporty one, and i like the windbreakers but... i cannot excuse his summer fit. also, i find his design a little tame compared to some of the other characters in the game. 6/10

Autumn 🍂

banri: i hate his hair. i hate it so much. i know in canon it’s nice and he takes good care of it, but it looks so fucking greasy. the style makes him look so greasy and it makes me mad. he looks like an asshole. i mean, he is, so it fits. if this dumb bitch changed his hair more often, i’d like his design so much more. you saw this coming; his love for cheetah print is fucking repulsive. BUT, maybe unpopular opinion, minus the animal print, his sense of fashion is not bad. why do yall clown on it. if the fit is fresh, the fit is fresh. anyway, he looks like an ass, but objectively his design is kinda eh. 5/10

juza: im sorry im DEADLY fucking biased when it comes to juza, but he’s so handsome. his hair is a such a rich, pretty shade of purple and his eyes are so mesmerizing. his hairstyle is so attractive. his face is so pretty. yeah his design isn’t crazy unique, but the simplicity just works. im so sorry im this man’s whore i didn’t choose this life... but i can stop being a simp for one second to say that he has a boring fashion sense. i mean it’s kinda hot how simple his outfits are but his travel fit is good-- wait a minute i just remembered the fucking sandals. docking one point. 9/10

taichi: okay shut the fuck up i LOVE taichi’s design. so eye-catching and fun. as i’ve said i love street fashion, and taichi’s lil e-boy fits are right up my alley. that shade of bright red goes so well with his fashion sense, making a really cohesive design. with his main outfit, you can tell he purposely dresses like that to be trendy and it’s so smart. 10/10

omi: im sorry omi stans but his design is kinda,, boring. i legit had such a hard time identifying him when i first got into this game. the scar saves it a bit. but... only a bit. he’s just got. hair. and a dad outfit. i mean his tits are huge, but i don’t think i can call that a character design aspect. kinda forgettable design. i don’t dislike it though, so he ranks higher than tenma did. 3/10

sakyo: im not sure why but i really like sakyo’s design?? the contrast of his light hair and his dark clothes is nice. also, megane rights. even when i thought he was an npc during my first playthrough, i really dug his design and thought he was memorable. i actually cannot pinpoint a reason why. i wish i had more constructive things to say... but upon thinking about it, he has a karen haircut, which kinda dampers my thoughts on his design. i like his moles, but i honestly did not notice them until the game pointed them out. 7/10

azami: azami has a damn good design. i don’t think anyone can deny that. the long hair, the contrast of black hair and bright blue eyes, his eye shape. all very eye-catching design aspects. and the street fashion style strikes again. the color scheme matches well with everything. this review is lame, but there’s really only good things i can say about his design so. 10/10

Winter ❄️

tsumugi: it’s so late and im so tired of looking at these sprites. anyway, tsumugi’s design is okay. i think his color scheme’s a bit limited and his outfits are a bit meh. he has a more respectable bowlcut than chikage, but it’s still a bowlcut and it’s still boring. i think the best part of his design is his eyes, they’re very soft and kind. but other than that, tsumugi looks pretty basic. 5/10

tasuku: tbh, i didn’t even realize that the godza member tasuku was the same character as the winter troupe guy in the game’s opening until the middle of episode 3... yeah. im slow. ooooooor... tasuku has the worst fucking design in the game. yeah i said it. come at me, but tasuku’s design fucking sucks. i literally thought he was a minor character until they forced me to realize he wasn’t. his fashion sense is... questionable at best. i look at that man’s hair and think he doesn’t shampoo. he looks so bland i could dry up from looking at him. im sorry but his tits do not make up for the sheer fucking snorefest of his character design. he’s so boring i won’t elaborate anymore. 1/10

hisoka: ya get what ya see part 2. i like that i can tell he’s the sleepy and mysterious character just by his design, but honestly, that’s a character trope im generally not a big fan of. so i wasn’t thrilled by hisoka’s design at first. but it’s effective. i like the hairstyle with the white hair, but i’m not too fond of his color scheme. his outfits look comfy and soft though. it makes sense, but it’s nothing too memorable if you compare him to characters outside the game. 5/10.

homare: ah, now this is a memorable character design. his hairstyle annoyed me in the beginning, but now i love it. it’s so unique and fun. and i like the purple. i also like his outfits. very classy. but honestly, most of his charisma lies in his face. i think that the pure eccentricity of the hairstyle is enough to put him in the top tier without considering any other element. you really could not find this design in any other media. fuck it. i don’t need to consider anything else. 9/10

azuma: i’ll be honest. im not a fan of long-haired anime men. especially the pretty, flirty types. i don’t know, i just don’t vibe with them. originally, i didn’t like azuma’s design, but now i do. i don’t know how, but i think it’s because azuma is just that powerful. his ponytail makes it more bearable for me and i like the way his bangs frame his face. he just has pretty eyes and face. unfortunately his color scheme is a little too repetitive for me and his casual outfits are a little boring. 6/10

guy: maybe it’s because he looks dead inside, but i love him. i don’t even know this character that well yet, but i think his deadass expression is great. the darker under-eyeline sets him apart from the other characters and i love how he dresses. i think his hair is kinda eh. i personally like it, but objectively, it’s meh. it’s a solid design, but ngl it’s nothing special when i really think about it. 6/10

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

another post about uni me lmao but like...... did anyone else get super disillusioned with the field that they went into???? like i’d looked forward doing philosophy at uni/an arts degree in general at uni since i was 12 years old when my dad had put on a philosophy dvd from the great courses one saturday morning and it caught my attention and interest so much so that i’d sat down for like 2 or 3 lectures (they went for half an hour each).

but once i had to do it myself at uni..... it seemed so different and impossible, mostly because i just couldn’t get past the first 2 pages of the readings that i bothered to read some weeks. the 2 hour lectures were so dry, esoteric, confusing and boring that i barely ever went back to listen to them; even when i had tests or assignments on them. i hated that more than half the time that there was only hairs-breadth distinctions between some fields of philosophy which seemed exactly the fucking same to me..... but oh no! it’s not actually the same thing!!! this particular branch of philosophy is its own tiny little niche from the bigger field of the same topic!!!! if you say it’s the same thing you’re wrong!!!! like fuck you. to me you’re the same fucking thing so you’re the same fucking field despite the meaningless tiny distinctions and lines that you’re drawing in your opinions. it’s confusing as fuck and im so fucking lost. stop being so fucking picky y’all. y’all are picking some of the most pointless battles tbh.

like okay yeah.... most of me finding philosophy hard and boring comes down to the fact that i just wanted to stop thinking and freeze my brain during my lectures..... and also that i barely ever did my readings..... even though there was a huge culture (mostly from the students that were doing double degrees or got stuck in a philosophy class as a core subject in media studies or law as part of a double degree.... but also sometimes the people in the major or minor of philosophy as well) or never bothering to do the readings anyway because “you can make up any old shit in this class and you’ll get at least 65. i don’t need to bother doing my readings at all” or “i don’t need to know how to argue at all because i’m in law and journalism!!! i already know how to argue! this subject (media, art and censorship a first year subject at my home uni that was compulsory for journalism/media & comms students or for psychology students it was intro to philosophy that was compulsory) shouldn’t be compulsory for me since i already know what argument is!!! it’s wasting my time.” like wow jenna, i’d love to see you argue in a courtroom like that or argue like that while interviewing some powerful politician/s!!! what class A strong reasoning skills you have! but okay. you don’t need to have sharp argument and analysis skills to be a lawyer or a journalist???? wow. i know for sure that i wouldn’t want to be your client or your interview participant if that’s how you analyse and “tear down” the statements of a jury or your interviewee. you’ll definitely win a legal case or win a walkley award (an aussie journalism award) with that selfishly complacent attitude.

but my point is that the expectation that i had of doing philosophy at uni when i was in school was so wildly wrong and it disillusioned me so much that i hated doing it. it wasn’t just sitting around thinking about life all day and whatever dumbass things i believed. it was pretentious (mostly the guys in my philosophy classes tbh), utterly baffling, fucking frustrating..... and damn near fucking impossible to get motivated to do any of my assignments; because i struggled so much to grapple with the content. like obvs i should’ve tried to press on with my readings and ask for help from my tutors and profs...... but i felt so fucking stupid for needing help with something that i’d wanted to do for so long.... that i just didn’t bother. just. ugh uni sucked.

[ddaenggtan]

Backalley Brawl | myg | M

This is....just as unedited as 666 medici lmao, but! Here, have this! It takes place in the same universe as the 666 medici drive fic, so this is the same MC, just...with a different friend lol. I'm lowkey hype because the more people you meet in this verse, the more I get to play with them, and they're some of my favorite characters I've ever come up with. 

Also shoutout to @strawbxxymilk​ bc its her birthday!!! I was going to write a jungoo fic for it, bUT NO im not gonna, i decided to be benevolent and let the renkook agenda stay on hold for a single day :)))

Word Count | 3.5k, I think?

Warnings | This is pure pwp, I'm not kidding, absolute filth. Semi-public sex, deepthroating, facefucking, gagging, yoongi’s kind of a dom??, unprotected sex (ur not a vampire or a werewolf, wrap your johnsons), rough sex i think, breeding kink, f masturbation (kind of?), cumplay, mention of knots, yoongi got a phat ****, degradation, i think thats it?? Idk tbh my brains p fried from finishing this

The smell of wet dog has been following you all night; from when you got up and went to Joon’s shop to tease him a little while ordering an arrangement, to the store to order food for your pet, the club to handle some business and find a satisfying meal, and even now as you wander the sidestreets and backalleys in an attempt to either lose your apparent shadow or draw them out. You aren’t scared or even apprehensive - you’re just annoyed, because the scent lingers in your throat and there’s very little that’s worse than the smell of werewolf. 

You stop in a darkened alley, one hand on your hip as the other fishes your phone out of your dress pocket. There’s not a single soul nearby from what you can tell. Everyone that isn’t sequestered in their homes and beds is packed into the clubs and bars a few blocks away. The scent gets as closer than it’s dared to all night, probably only arm’s length away from you; the hints of woodsmoke and sap tell you everything you need to know. 

[You, sent: ] Is there a reason you’re hiding in the shadows, pup, or are you just going to be creepy all night?

Behind you, a text tone dings through the air followed by a muffled curse. You hear a sigh, and then footsteps. 

“Oh good, so you aren’t going to be creepy all night,” You tell him without turning around. 

“You could’ve just texted me hours ago if you knew I was following you.” His voice is muffled slightly, but there’s no mistaking the pout in it.

“And you could’ve just called like I told you to instead of being weird, but alas, we both chose different paths in life.” When you turn, your struck not for the first time at how soft the werewolf in front of you looks. 

He’s one of the smallest werewolves you know. They all tend to be rather large and imposing, but not him. No, he carries his power in the way he stands, relaxed and lazy no matter what’s in front of him because he knows it’s not a threat. The power he holds in the long fingers is but a millisecond away, and everything about him screams that he is all too aware of it. 

The thought makes your stomach flip and heat sink low between your thighs. 

His nostrils flare ever so slightly, and you have no doubts he can smell your train of thought. He adjusts ever so slightly, flipping the black wavy hair out of his eyes and adjusting the red plaid flannel he’s got tossed on over a nondescript black shirt. He’s more fidgety than usual today, and your eyes narrow.

“Why didn’t you just call, Yoongi?” You ask as you take a single step closer to him. His muscles tense ever so slightly. 

“You remember what happened last time,” He mutters. “Didn’t want a repeat.”

That’s fair , you think. It still doesn’t explain why he decided to stalk you through the night when he could easily have just approached you in one of the several secluded places you’d been. 

“I-” He cuts himself off before he can get more than a word out, and when he brings a hand up to fiddle with the choker around his neck, you notice that he’s shaking slightly. You take another step toward him, and he mirrors you by taking a step back. You look closer. 

His black shirt is slightly damp at the neck, and the sleeves of his flannel are in tatters from where he’s picked at them with his claws. There’s not much light in the alley where you stand, but with your enhanced vision you can see the way his pupils are shrinking and dilating rapidly. The barest hint of a fang worries at his lower lip. 

You’ve never seen him so out of control of his shift before, and it almost worries you. Not only because, against all odds, you care just a bit for this werewolf, but also because out of control werewolves are dangerous even to vampires. You’re confident in your abilities, but you know better than to think you can take down a fully trained, mature, crazed werewolf like Yoongi on your own. 

“Should I call someone for you?” You ask. You manage to keep your usual bored tone in your voice, but if he could pay attention, the tight grip on your phone would give you away in heartbeat. 

“Yes, I mean, no, it’s not-” He huffs. “No, that’s why I came to you. I didn’t get to Joon in time, y’know, it hit early, and now I’m, uh, I don’t have the-” He huffs again, running long fingers down his temple. 

“I’m in rut,” He eventually spits out. Heat floods you at the words; you’ve been with werewolves in rut before, you know what it’s like for them. The need to claim and breed, to ensure their line continues, constantly at war with the want most ‘wolves have to not hurt anyone around them. It’s why Namjoon created his signature potion, a concoction to stave off the need so long as it was taken before all of the symptoms set in. 

Yoongi has been precise about taking it ever since you met him, content to live his life without a mate until he met someone he loved enough to want children with. You’ve never seen him this out of his mind, and yet the fact that he can stand here and have a conversation with you while his instincts scream at him to do anything else is only another testament to his control. 

It only makes you wetter, and you can tell by the way he groans and his nostrils flare once again that he knows the effect. 

“So you thought you’d come to me?” You ask as you slip your phone back into your pocket. Yoongi’s gaze hardens slightly, the muscles in jaw working as he bites back whatever retort he had in mind. “Or, rather, you thought you’d come for me?”

Yoongi steps away again as you step forward, and you cock a brow at him. 

“I’m not going to force you to do anything, okay, Meds?” You stifle a laugh at the shortened form of your nickname; Medici was kind of a mouthful for the younger generations. It’s sweet that he’s so thoughtful, though. “I just...some of the others have mentioned that you’re good for this, what with all the…” His hand waves through the air, gesturing at all of you for a moment before he makes fangs with his fingers. 

“What with our uncooperative biology and my love of roughness,” You finish for him. 

“Yeah,” He responded lamely. “Yeah, that. I just don’t want you to think that you have to do this. Because you don’t. I just don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop if you say yes without you making me.”

His thoughtfulness brings a fresh wave of arousal, paired with the realization that he believes you could control him even in rut. You step forward again and he maintains his distance until his back hits the wall of the alley. You don’t stop, though, getting close enough that you feel his breath mix with yours when his lips part ever so slightly. 

He stifles a soft moan, no doubt able to taste your arousal on the air with how enhanced his senses must be at this point. You run a finger down his sweat-soaked chest; the hitch in his breath only cements your decision. 

“Who said I would want you to stop?”

Yoongi groans, low and deep in his throat, and you smile at the sound.

"Only if you're sure," He mutters. You don't dignify his words with a response. Instead, you slide a hand under his flannel and along the edge of his black shirt, teasing at the hem with your fingers. They ghost along the thin strip of skin you can see, and his eyes flutter closed.

"I'm sure, pup," You whisper. The growl he gives in response isn't something you hear; it's just felt. In the tips of your fingers as they hook under his joggers, in the flip of your stomach, and in the way you can feel the damp cloth of your underwear sticking to you.

"I am not," He growls, one hand moving to tangle in your hair and push you to your knees. "A pup." Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you tug lightly on his waistband, and you stifle a moan when you realize he's not wearing anything underneath. The hand in your hair tightens and pulls you closer to the hard length hidden behind the soft material of his joggers.

"Fuck, Yoongi," You whisper, already mouthing along the outline of his cock.

"Get to work." His words ring in your ears as you pull firmly down and reveal his shaft in all its glory. You've had longer - Taehyung and Namjoon are both exceptionally gifted there - but you doubt anyone could match the girth Yoongi sports.

You wrap a hand around him and slide slowly upwards, committing the relieved sigh he releases to memory. There's a wide gap between your thumb and the rest of your fingers, further proof that he has the girth to make up for any lack of length, and you give it a soft kitten lick.

Yoongi cuts his groan off before it can even start, but his hips buck into you. You grin and look up at him before licking a stripe all the way to his head. His jaw tenses and the hand not tangled in your hair grips the wall behind him hard enough that some of the brick crumbles. 

He sucks in a harried breath when you wrap your lips around him; your jaw already aches from the stretch, but you can’t find it in yourself to care because when you look up at him again, his fangs are digging into his bottom lip and his eyes are clenched shut. You tease him for just long enough that he looks down at you, a demand written in the way his lip curls upwards. With no further warning, you slide down him, taking his entire length into your mouth. 

He chokes on a moan and stuffs the side of his hand between his teeth in an attempt to stay quiet. His hips are moving the barest amount against you, and you can’t help but be impressed that he’s still so in control. 

You want to see him lose it. 

You lick your way off of his cock before sliding back down, letting the flat of your tongue run along the vein as you do. You repeat the motion, letting the very tip of his cock hit your throat before you hum around him and bring one hand up to grip his balls. His hand tugs lightly on your hair and you resist for a single second before you let him pull you off. 

“Fuck, if you keep doing that-”

“You’ll cum?” False sweetness coats your voice, and it makes his expression twist in a snarl. “And here I thought you’d last longer than the others.”

“You want me stuff that mouth of yours so full you can’t talk? Because I will,” He tells you. You cock a brow and grin. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Yoongi.” 

You’re turned before you know it, back against the brick wall while Yoongi’s free hand moves to stroke lightly along your jaw. It’s everything you can do not to nuzzle into the calloused pads of his fingers and you’re glad you resist when his grip hardens and he pulls your jaw down. 

You let him slide his cock between your lips, precum smearing along your lips as he does. He’s heavy on your tongue. It’s intoxicating.

“Your mouth is so good like this, baby,” He says as he begins to thrust in and out of your mouth. “So wet and perfect, you know that? Can’t talk back with your mouth stuffed full of cock, can you?” You hum around him and his thrusts start coming faster and deeper. He’s just long enough that tip of his cock hits the back of your throat each time. 

You can taste him on your tongue and his pre-cum drips down your throat with every thrust. One hand stays buried in your hair, keeping your head in place against the wall as he fucks your face, and the other moves to support his weight. A quick glance tells you his eyes are focused on where his cock disappears between your lips, mouth hanging open just barely as he pants and groans. 

“God, you take it so well,” He pants. “Like it was just made for me.” You clench around nothing at his words; it’s not the first time you’ve heard them, by far, but fuck if you don’t love it every single time. A smile plays out over his lips, highlighting the sharp canines that you love. You can feel a growl building in his throat and you can’t resist the temptation to make him verbalize it.

You tighten your lips around his shaft and hollow your cheeks at the same time that you swallow around him. His rhythm stutters and he pulls out of your mouth in a rush, free hand darting down to wrap around the base. 

“You’re such a little bitch,” He hisses. His vice grip on his dick doesn’t lessen even as he pulls you up to your feet and spins you around. His hand disappears from your hair, both of them running up your thighs to push your dress up so he can squeeze the meat of your ass. He slaps it once before a tearing sound fills the air and your underwear falls to the ground. "Gonna teach you to have some respect, baby." 

His cock slides into you easily and you can't stop the moan that tears from your throat. The stretch burns in the most delicious way; there's little resistance as he pulls out, and the way he sinks back into your heat has your nails scraping against the brick wall. 

"Fuck, Yoongi," You whimper. He chuckles at that and snaps his hips into you again and again. Your moans echo off the alley walls, and only seem to spur him on. He's completely unforgiving, ramming into you quicker and harder with each passing second. 

"Yeah, that's it," He mutters, fingers digging to your hips. "Fucking take this cock, baby, you're so good for me, yeah? Sucked my cock so good I almost came, and now your sweet little pussy's gonna milk me dry. You want that?"

 You whimper, rolling your hips back to meet his bruising pace. He doesn't hold back and you have no doubts that were you a regular human, you'd be bruised beyond belief at the way he fucks you. 

You aren't a normal human, though, and you're thriving with how hard he fucks you into the wall. 

You clench around him and draw the first real moan you've heard from him. He runs a hand up the curve of your back, making you shiver slightly, and a particularly hard thrust has your walls fluttering around him. 

"Can't fucking wait," He moans. "Gonna flood you full of my cum, coat you with it. Everyone you see is gonna smell it on you, they're all gonna know just how good you've been fucked."

"Yes," You moan, "Yoongi, please, do it, please." 

He grips your thighs tight and spins you around, barely pulling out for a second before he's picking you up. Your ankles cross behind him as your back hits the wall and he slams into you once more. 

"Fuck yes, baby," He moans, leaning forward to mouth at your neck. "Gonna breed you so good, fill you so full of my cubs, like a good little bitch." He doesn't miss the way you moan and his teeth dig sharply into your skin. "You like that, don't you? You want everyone to know how good you are, how you take me like a bitch in heat. Fuck, you're so wet, you know that? Wet and hot and fucking perfect for me, the best fuck of my life."

"Yes, Yoongi, please, I'm good, I want it," You pant. 

"Say it," He demands. "Tell me what you want from me."

"I want you to cum," You moan, clenching around him again. You've been with enough werewolves in rut to know what he wants to hear, and you're so cock-drunk that you don't even have the fochs to tease him about it. "I want you to breed me, fill me with your cubs, wanna be yours." 

Yoongi curses and his thrusts shorten until he's just grinding his hips against yours. The pressure against your g-spot is just enough that you're starting to tip over the edge, but you hold it back. You want to cum after him. 

"Shit, you're such a perfect little bitch for me," Yoongi groans. "So perfect and sweet, can't wait to see you dripping in my cum." 

You chance a glance at him and nearly cum on the spot at the sight of red ringing his irises. You're instantly reminded of the power behind his grip, the way he could tear you apart right now if he really wanted to, if he wasn't distracted by the feeling of your warmth surrounding him. 

Your hands dig into his hair and pull him into a hard kiss. Your mouth hits his in a clash of teeth and tongue, both of you too fucked out to care as he grinds and swells inside of you. Your hands move down, pushing at him until he slides out. The sudden emptiness makes you ache but you're on a mission. You also don't want to be stuck against a wall in an alley for however long it takes his knot to deflate. 

"What-" Yoongi whimpers, doing his best to claw you back to him. You grin and drop to your knees again, sliding him into your mouth once more. It's more of a stretch now that his knot is swelling but it's worth it for the way he slides himself to the very back of your throat before pulling out. 

"I want to taste you," You tell him as you wrap your hand around him and start to slowly stroke. "I want to watch you cum down my throat and watch me swallow it all." His breathing turns ragged and there's a high-pitched whine in the air that you aren't sure he knows he's making. You look up at him, wide eyed and pouty. "Please?"

Yoongi curses briefly before he thrusts his cock into your mouth again. You can feel the pressure building and you set to work, bouncing your head on his shaft and letting your tongue flick into the seam and lap up pre-cum before swirling back down around him to the base. His arms are braced on the wall behind you and he doesn't move at all. 

His knot swells even bigger and catches briefly on your teeth, and the noise he makes sends you over the edge. You slide your fingers down to rub circles into your clit, hips rolling into the touch. Yoongi must smell it, or maybe he looks up and sees it, you aren't sure - your nose is buried in the patch of hair between his thighs as you gag around him - but he moans. It's loud and vibrates through his body and into yours, and it makes your orgasm wash over you in a wave of white. Yoongi chokes on another moan and he nearly explodes in your mouth. 

It seems never ending; his cum shoots down your throat, and it just keeps coming as he thrusts shallowly into your mouth. It collects on your tongue, and with his next thrust, you can feel it drip down your lips and chin to land neatly on your chest. You're glad he wasn't deep enough to get truly stuck in your mouth - though that could've been fun. 

Eventually, Yoongi settles. His chest heaves with the force of his orgasm, and his eyes haven't changed from the deep red. 

"You...fuck," He whimpers as he tucks himself back into joggers. He winces a little at the friction against his still decreasing knot and helps you to your feet, straightening your dress as best he can. "C'mon."

You raise an eyebrow and look down at where he's laced his fingers with yours. The red in his eyes brightens ever so slightly as he tugs you forward, free hand wrapping around your waist to hold you close to him. 

"Just where are we going?" You ask quietly, nose brushing lightly against his. 

"My place," He responds easily. "Gonna eat you out until you cum as much as I did, and then I'm gonna fuck you as hard as you know I can." 

The appeal of his secluded cabin must be clear on your face, because he's whisking you out onto the street and towards his home before you can even respond. A quick glance shows no sign the two of you were even there, save for your ruined panties on the ground and deep gouges in the brick. 

[bigskydreaming]

@elfysparkles88​

#listen it's a universal problem#I love my mans Scott#everyone is always bagging on him WHY#Scott Summers#X-Men

Its because Scott Summers is inevitably compared and contrasted with those around him, and he has the great misfortune of running in the same circles as an all-star line up of like....just the absolutely most Ridiculous People to Ever Ridick.

We’re talking about a guy whose dad was abducted by aliens and from there went on to decide, welp, guess I gotta become a space pirate now, jaunty earring and all, no, shhh, shh, no, there are no alternatives, I gotta, no, I said no - SHUT IT, I SAID I GOTTA BE A SPACE PIRATE NOW ITS THE ONLY WAY. Oh btw, meet my fianceé. She’s an alien mercenary who is a little like a skunk but don’t call her that to her face or she’ll shoot you in yours. How’s that for swoonworthy, am I right, son?

We’re talking about a guy whose own son was a literal sixty year old Grumpy Old Man overburdened with world-weariness, wildly unnecessary shoulderpads and arthritic joints when Scott was barely hitting his third decade. With said son now randomly being a moody sixteen year old again, with a pet sentient sword he talks lovingly to, because apparently Nathan Summer’s take on teenage rebellion was to act out by being all LOL Fuck Time Travel Paradoxes and then rebelliously zooming around the space/time continuum while blasting a soundtrack of MCR probably, until he finally got a bead on his older self and shot himself in the face while being like “its not that I’m angry with you, I’m just disappointed” and look this is the part where your eyes are gonna wanna just glaze over so your brain can have a break, shhh, shh, don’t ask questions, just let it be, it happened, its a thing.

We’re talking about a guy whose brother rode a merry-go-round of “Am I a good guy this week or am I a bad guy because Reasons or sometimes Brainwashing or sometimes I Don’t Even Fucking Know, Look Don’t @ Me Bro, I Just Fucking Work Here, I’m Not In The Loop” for most of his twenties until dying in a fiery explosion only to inexplicably return years later as a coma patient who finally woke up one day and said “Whoa, just got back from tripping around the multiverse and boy do I have stories cuz apparently I’m the Nexus of All Realities, so hah, SUCK IT, big brother, and yes that is TOO a thing, shut up, LET ME HAVE THIS. Oh and also btw don’t spend a lot on your wedding gift for me and Lorna because I’m gonna leave her at the altar once I realize that I’m actually more in love with the random nurse lady who changed my bed pans while I was in a coma having a romantic rendezvouz with her in Paris in my brain courtesy of her psychic eight-year old kid trying to play matchmaker for her cuz like, she doesn’t date much apparently but its whatever, this is FINE, I have no objections. Ugh why are you looking at me like that Scott, no, I don’t need to “talk” with someone about everything I’ve ‘been through,’ ugh I’m HAPPY you asshole, god, why don’t you ever want me to just be HAPPY ugh you just have to control EVERYTHING with your over-bearing BS like “I am concerned your decision-making processes might be affected by all the people tampering with your decision-making processes over the years” like umm DID I ASK? No? I didn’t think so? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD, SCOTT, UGH THAT DOES IT, IM RUNNING AWAY TO BE A SUPERVILLAIN AGAIN AND THIS TIME ITS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, YOU’LL BE SORRY WHEN I CRY HAVOK AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR THIS TIME FOR SURE, AND OMG FOR THE LAST TIME I KNOOOOOOW THAT’S NOT HOW ITS SPELLED, ITS ABOUT THE AESTHETIC SCOTT, ITS CALLED HAVING A SENSE OF STYLE, UGH, LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIVE.”

We’re talking about a guy whose other little brother randomly showed up and started killing people one day being like “hahaha surprise, bet you all forgot about me, PS, I’m REALLY FUCKING MAD AT YOU ALL FOR FORGETTING ABOUT ME” because the world’s most powerful telepath made everyone forget about him and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day they all had once and this is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, this is normal. As is the way his newly discovered slash remembered slash resurrected slash recently returned from spending the last decade fucking around as a disembodied energy ghost on a rock up in Earth’s orbit little brother then decided the Earth just wasn’t big enough for the both of them, the both of them in this case meaning both him, singular, and his Angst, as a wholly separate and towering entity in its own right. So instead he fucked off to space and decided to conquer a vast alien empire and spend the next several years being their god-emperor or whatever until he got bored with that. And also he kinda sorta killed their dad for a bit but whatever, its fine, he got better, and then he also kinda sorta died for a bit himself but whatever, its fine, he got better, and there was that whole interstellar war between himself and the Inhumans but whatever that wasn’t even his FAULT, Scott, THEY STARTED IT, god, do you ever stop JUDGING ME AND MY LIFE CHOICES and PS I’m still mad at you for killing Xavier, you fucking asshole, not because you did it but because like, you KNOW I wanted to do it, I had a whole fucking villain monologue moment about it and everything, you were literally there, UGH WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HAVE NICE THINGS?!?! YOU ARE THE ENEMY OF FUN AND JOY AND HEY MAYBE YOU WERE THE REAL VILLAIN ALL ALONG, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? HUH? MR. I’M THE BOSS, WAIT WHO’S THE BOSS? OH YEAH STILL ME, SCOTT, I’M THE BOSS, YOU GOTTA STOP BEING A SPACE EMPEROR GABE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE THE BOSS, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO BE THE BOSS BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS AND I SAID SO AND YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY OR I’LL TELL DAD.” 

And that’s not even getting into how we’re also talking about a guy who basically ended up divorcing his first wife and suing for sole custody on the grounds of “Well, your Honor, she tried to sacrifice our son on a literal demonic altar in order to summon Hell to Earth to destroy everything just to get back at me after I left her. Yes, your Honor, I understand that is in fact Asshole Behavior, but there were extenuating circumtances, you see, the woman I left her for was my first love before her who I thought was dead. And also, she was literally my wife before my wife was. No, I don’t mean I was married before Maddie, I mean Jean was kinda pretty much already Maddie before Maddie was Maddie. Its this whole clone thing. Look, I’m just saying it was a complicated situation and I know I have my part to play in it, but I still stand by my conviction that trying to sell out our entire planet and species to the legions of Hell while using the innocent blood of our ten month old as the Golden Ticket to the Chocolate Factory was still a little over the top and not really the right way to handle it either. Also, I contend that I can provide a better home environment at the moment than someone who is insisting on being addressed as The Goblin Queen because what even is that, honestly, Your Honor, and also, she also brainwashed my brother into trying to kill me on her behalf, which to be fair does happen about every other month anyway, but still, like. Dick move, you know?”

And we’re also talking about a guy whose second wife who was kinda sorta his first wife but only in that It Ain’t Bigamy If Its A Clone Thing way....like, I mean. Its kinda hard NOT to come across as the bland one in the relationship when your second wife occasionally moonlights as the AirBnb of choice for a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction who is pretty infamous for the ragers she hosts every time she pops into town for a visit, all smiles and (literal) sunbeams (of scorching lethality) and “Lol hey hot stuff, remember me?” As if someone who ate an alien civilization’s sun the last time she hit a Mood is like....really in danger of ever being “New phone, who dis?”ed. But that is neither here nor there, much like the sentients of Alpha Centauri Bumfuckville after she went all Goodnight Sun, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Solar System on their corner of the galactic neighborhood, because.....tbh I don’t think she ever actually said “why” there. Its one of those things where if you don’t already KNOW why a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction has decided its nighty-night time for this particular zipcode.....like.....that’s not really something you just ASK, y’know? Its....tacky, probably. Also, low on the self-preservation instincts, probably.

Plus we’re talking about a guy whose second marriage to Yet Another Woman It Probably Should Have Registered As A Bad Idea To PIss Off Like This ended in like....so, okay, this was a bit more His Bad than even Round One was, courtesy of a “Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Show-stopping” reinterpretation of what was up until this point te much more ambiguous and metaphorically named “Mental Affair” concept. Though it must be said, Scotty always has skewed a bit more towards the literal minded in his personal approach to things, so, y’know. That tracks. But regardless, the pattern remains consistent here, as once again, its not always easy to register on peoples’ radar as anything other than the Plus One when your newest paramour prides herself on being both the entire planning committee AND star attraction of Victoria’s Secret (assuming that said Secret is Secret Aims at World Domination) Presents: A Renaissance Faire. But in an evil and also kinky way. Except now with sixty percent less evil on account of how Emma’s reformed these days, but not a hundred percent less evil because she’s not like, REFORMED reformed, cuz that would be boring, eww, could you imagine, no, you couldn’t, because she won’t let you and she can do that, she’s that good at telepathy and that bad at boundaries. Still the same amount of kinky as before though, but like. That’s just about Strong Branding. After all, at the end of the day Emma Frost is above all else, a good businesswoman.

But yes, she is also a big fan of the Aesthetic, with that aesthetic being Her Whims On Steroids because like they say, go big or go home, and Emma Frost does not believe in going home when she can simply acquire your home instead. Hate the game, not the player. She didn’t make the rules, she just came to win. Point being, its hard to follow up an act like Jean-Who-Is-Sometimes-Phoenix-And-Sometimes-Dark-Phoenix-And-Oh-Hell-She-Cant-Even-Keep-Track-So-How-Could-Anyone-Else-Really, but say what you will about Emma’s wardrobe, she’s more concerned with clothing herself in unapologetic take no prisoners ambition, and as such, her being the follow-up to Scott’s epic romance with his childhood sweetheart turned literal cosmic embodiment of fire and passion, like.....this was never a big checkmark in the con side of a pro and con list for Emma. It was more like oh, yes, hello there, Challenge Absolutely Fucking Accepted.

Which, y’know, all the points to House Frost for showing spine and boy howdy, that’s a spine alright.....but at the same time, going head to head with someone who is classified as a galactic threat when people are deliberately low-balling her, like, for no other reason than you’re bored and your manicure appointment isn’t for another couple hours.....like that’s the kind of thing where it has to be pointed out that there were possibly alternative options worth considering somewhere in between ‘having no spine’ and ‘spiting cosmic entity who can kill you with her brain by stealing her man and saying come at me bro because like....my spine, let me show you it.”

But again, just to reiterate the premise here.....our thesis here today is that Scott Summers Gets a Bad Rap For Being Bland or Boring or Not Standing Out, But In Reality The Issue Is Just That All The People He Knows Are Truly Ridiculous People.

In other words, Scott Summers is no more the Everyman of the X-Men than any of his Truly Ridiculous Friends and Family.

Because an actual everyman would have bounced out of that madhouse way the fuck back in Chapter One: In Which Things Just Got Ridiculous.

Cut to Scott Summers, in contrast: *looks around, purses lips, weighs options* Nah. This is fine.

See also:

His daughter, who didn’t so much arrive after the traditional nine months of waiting and preparing for a bundle of bouncing baby joy but instead just like...plopped back into the past as a full grown woman hailing from a dystopian future she was hellbent on preventing by any means necessary, even if that means had Scott frantically shouting RACHEL NO as she screamed RACHEL YES and sprinted straight at someone like Selene (a villain who has survived 17,000 years of pissing people off and making enemies of actual, literal gods) while thinking “oh yeah, I got this.”

(To be fair, she probably DID have it, or would have, if Logan hadn’t chosen that moment of all moments to have his once-centennial contemplation of “Wait, what if....murder is...NOT good?” Never underestimate the daughter of a cosmic goddess.)

Or see also also:

Scott’s original classmates, including Doctor Hank “I’m not an over-archiever, I’m just stress-eating because its lunchtime and I’ve only revolutionized two whole fields of scientific study so far today,” McCoy, Warren “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m a billionaire, wait no, I’m just kidding don’t hate me at all hahaha I’m too sexy” Worthington III, and Bobby “I may look cute and unassuming and like my only priority in life is video games but sike, I too am a potentially cosmic level immortal being of nigh-unlimited power or at least I will be whenever I get around to tapping that potential like I’m currently tapping xy up down A + BBA like a boss, now shhh, don’t interrupt me while I’m kicking ass at Mario Kart I said I’ll GET TO THAT LATER, ugh, JEEZ, my priorities are FINE, Scott, like get off my back already, you’re not even my real dad” Drake.

In conclusion:

Scott Summers is valid, and there may be legions drinking his Hatorade, but make no mistake, its not that he’s Less Than, its that every single person in his social circle is just that damn Extra.

[cameronmitchelljohn]

people i know are going to parties or events tonight and im gonna be listening to rent and rewatching dazed and confused . what a fucking loser

[normal-thoughts-official]

Okay hi can i just pls throw out this idea i have in my head because i have literally zero friends to talk about malec with and i love your blog fhksghs but anyway i have this headcanon that alec is autistic because like, he's kind of stiff in his movements and he's straight to the point matter of fact but he's so very very empathetic and he feels so much and maybe he's been masking his entire life because his way of being is "Wrong" (and on top of that he gay) and people beside his siblings (1)

don't really get him and honestly the fact that he doesn't always find the words to express himself especially when he's scared and upset makes sense and maybe with the masking thing the only way of stimming he's ever allowed himself is that jerky lil hand shake thing he does or the pinching of the skin between his fingers. also!! im thinking that's why he's so good at archery and not AS good at hand to hand combat because archery doesn't take as much coordination and he noticed it was easy for him so he kind of hyperfixated on it as a kid and it never really left and it makes sense with the self harm thing. it's so common for autistic kids to take out their frustrations and sadness on themselves and if alec doesn't allow himself to stim that jittery energy might just turn into frustration and anger he doesn't understand or know what to do with so causing pain to get it out becomes the only way he knows how to cope. anyway THE POINT i'm trying to make is i've kind of adopted the headcanon that magnus has adhd as well so he kind of complements alec where he struggles and the other way around and as they get to know each other they kind of start finding new ways of coping together and allowing themselves to be exactly as they are with each other. alec finds ways to stop masking and starts to come to terms with who he is and what he's like because he's never really identified with anything but his masked persona and magnus finally has someone who understands him

also i get that like... this headcanon is not new at all. i just haven't seen it being discussed a lot just like magnus having adhd is something i came across like two days ago so idk how big that headcanon is but yeah snglbghk sorry for taking up so much space i guess im a lil fixated hehe thank you for your time

okay, first of all i just want to say that i’m thrilled that you wanted to share this with me, specifically, especially since this is clearly meaningful and important to you. and don’t apologize, i love getting ranty asks tbh, they are the best dajsaijdadja 

for the hc! i totally agree with you on autistic alec, that’s not an uncommon hc because yeah he does have like... a lot of autistic traits lmao (altho there’s a lot of hm. gross ableist content involving this. but anyway) like i’ve been talking recently on here about alec’s honesty and his complete unwillingness and even unability to understand like, mind games and flirting and such and how that draws magnus in, and i definitely think that is directly connected to his autism. like the whole throwing hints and innuendos and flirting ;) ;) just doesn’t fucking make sense to him and he’s very in contact with his feelings and why would he not? be direct about them? you know? and magnus has had to basically teach himself to be able to do that (because well autism and adhd overlap and he’s probably had to struggle a lot to pick on social cues too, and learn these little tricks. this also probably has to do with the personality that he chose for himself, like, that whole over exaggerated over the top kind of careless thing, because then he can pass off his rambley tendencies and other ADHD traits as just... him being careless, i guess. so he lays it particularly thick so that the parts that are actually there - his tendencies to ramble and hyperfocus, lack of attention, sometimes unawareness of social cues - end up less visible under the veil of his exaggerated persona) and it’s so damn good. and important. to not have to. to be basically forced not to. because alec doesn’t engage in those. he’s completely honest. and he offers magnus a space where he can be, too

and i just duahdsiuahda love autistic/adhd solidarity malec (and also autistic/adhd solidarity mag&raph but that’s another topic. lêx shut the fuck up about raphael challenge. actually send me asks about autistic raphael pls yall). especially because like i said. magnus has had a lot of time to learn how to mask his ADHD traits! but it’s exhausting, and god it feels so good and he’s so fucking happy that he gets to stim, and ramble, and just be himself with alec

even if it definitely takes him a while. i think longer than it takes alec. because alec 1- is not as good as magnus at hiding it, and 2- sees no reason to hide them from magnus, because once he trusts, he trusts, and he’s all in. i think what would take alec the longest would be to stim - because he’s so used to suppressing those it’s almost second nature - but stimming is exactly the one thing that magnus still kind of allows himself. especially with magic, you see the way he’s always conjuring up little balls, doing sparks with his hands, rubbing his fingers together, etc etc etc. and alec picks up on that, the ways that he stims subtly and without hurting himself and maybe starts doing it too. we even get to see him rubbing his fingers in a similar way that magnus does sometimes, after they meet, and i think that might be the beginning of that process

so that definitely applies to what you said about them helping each other out with their greatest difficulties! like magnus is most uncomfortable letting go of hiding his traits, and alec is most uncomfortable with stimming, and they slowly- well, not coax each other into it, but walk that path together, especially as they also walk their career paths and earn more respect and space, and their relationship path and learn to be more open and earnest with each other and work together. you know? magnus sees that alec keeps picking at his own skin and hands, and he’s like... all lovingly healing him, and telling him that he should stop hurting himself, and alec tells him that it’s just. that he feels like the world is so sharp, sometimes, and he just has all that energy, and he doesn’t know how to let it out, and it’s too much, but he doesn’t know what to do with it, so he just. picks at his skin. and magnus looks up at him, brows a little furrowed, a little in shock and also. a good kind of surprise because he understands? and he’s happy that someone else understands? and that he can help with this?

and so magnus is like “i feel like that a lot, too. having magic helps, but well, there are other things i do” and then he tells alec about how he rubs his fingers together instead of picking at the skin and how he taps them and does the little wrist shaking thing and how that helps. and alec starts to figure out other ways to stim that work for him and don’t hurt him. magnus also tells him about jewelry and how that helps, having stuff to fidget with/focus on, and well alec is not big on jewelry but maybe he starts wearing a chain under his shirt, and there’s always the wedding band :) which we already see him fiddling with a lot in canon anyway so i definitely think it serves the same purpose for him as magnus’ jewelry do magnus. plus, it’s grounding and reminds him of them, which is also a bonus

and then there’s also everything we see in canon, about alec just. wanting magnus to be exactly himself and telling him that? seeing the way magnus is tapping his foot and then stops when he approaches, and he’s like “you can keep going,” or the way that he sometimes approaches magnus and is all like “i can tell you’re thinking too hard about this conversation. i don’t want you to say anything but what you feel. it’s okay” and magnus slowly relaxes and allows himself. or when he catches himself mid rant about his hyperfixation and he feels ashamed but he turns to alec, about to apologize because he just started talking way too much and way too fast about fucking wormholes and astrophysics again and alec is probably bored- but he turns and alec is staring at him with his usual, open adoration that always takes his breath away, and alec is like “no, i love hearing you talk” because even if he doesn’t understand what magnus is talking about, he loves how excited he is and to see him happy. plus his voice is so nice and pretty and just hmmm very good for the senses you know, like it’s just nice to focus on. so magnus does that little half smile of his, super pleased, and keeps talking, except this time gesticulating even more wildly and like flapping and going into detail without holding back, and he’s just so happy, and alec is so happy, and so in love with him duaudsaa

also them being sensorial heaven for each other :) alec wanting to hold magnus after he’s had A Day, and he just wraps himself around him and buries his face on his neck and feels his presence there, you know, focuses on him and his touch and hair and nice clothes (magnus picks clothes pretty much based on texture because he can’t stand some, and others, like silk, are just perfect so he has a bunch of those, and alec likes the same textures too so that’s great) and stops focusing on other noises and light and other things that might be giving him a bit of overload, you know? but also he doesn’t feel like, trapped, so it’s great. while magnus is enveloped in his arms and having all that stimuli from alec touching him and again he can laser focus on that and feel like his brain calms down a little. and it’s perfect for them both. sensory healing cuddles. perfect

and when either of them feels like having their space or not touching because Too Much, that’s okay too, because they both 1- understand, and 2- are mindful of each other’s space always. magnus especially, we see how he’s very careful with getting into other ppl’s and particularly alec’s space, and alec appreciates it because he never feels invaded. but he also learns when magnus needs space, be it alone or just a broad space to Flap Around in, and he always gives him that when he needs it, and magnus is so grateful for that. and it’s just duaihdsiahdasidaihahdah god i fucking love adhd/autistic solidarity malec thank u for coming to my ted talk

[timegears-moved]

☕️ mmmm pokemon games specifically (not including spinoffs)

sorry this is late im terrible with actually answering asks. ill do this generation by generation. also this ended up very long because i have a lot of thoughts about pkmn.

gen one: okay so right off the bat im gonna say that i have a massive soft spot for gen one, considering blue was the first game i ever played. i do have a degree of nostalgia towards it which is why i can never be truly be harsh on these games. i know they're a mess of glitches and mechanics that make no fucking sense (seriously FUCK psychic types and everything they stand for) but it has a certain charm to it.

but even as a "kanto apologist" (which damien calls me) i can absolutely agree that the pandering is fucking abysmal. they're trying cater to a demographic who hasn't cared about pokemon in years and aren't going to pick up a new game just because charizard is in it. by doing this it feels like they're alienating the people who actually care, like "yeah ur support is nice but we want the genwunners to like us more than anything.

also on the topic of pandering is that their pandering is so half-assed too. all of this gen one content and not one shred of love for my boys victreebel or cloyster? bro i hate it here.

gen two: i dont really have that much to say here tbh. i have no fond memories of it at all considering i only played through gold once right before hgss came out. i can say that i appreciate all of the bullshit from gen one that it fixed but i have issues with johto as a region that ill elaborate on when i talk about the remakes.

gen three: honestly i never cared much for this gen. i played it quite a bit growing up but it's always been whatever for me. a lot of it just feels kind of.....bland for me. i really don't know what to say because it leaves me feeling conflicted. there's nothing bad about these games that sticks out like a sore thumb but they just don't do it for me, ya know?

i do appreciate frlg for shedding a much better light on kanto though.

gen four: okay so i'll fully admit that the sinnoh games are my childhood faves and are still my faves now but im not letting nostalgia completely cloud my judgement on this.

honestly? i think pokemon peaked with platinum. dp had their problems for sure and some of those still carried over to platinum but the scale in which platinum told its story feels so much grander than any pokemon game that came before or after it. i absolute adore the sinnoh mythos and i only want dp remakes just so it can get expanded upon, i could care less about any actually gameplay from it. ive said this before but you cannot make the god of pokemon and not do anything with it.

as for hgss, i have very mixed feelings about this one but not in the same way gen 3 made me feel because i do have genuine problems here. ive talked before about them but i just cannot stress how bad the level and pokemon distributions are. how the fuck can you make brand new pokemon for your johto region and not put them in fucking johto?

like these games are fine ig. i never cared about the walking pokemon mechanic but it literally feels like people only praise this game as the best because of that one thing that has no bearing on the actual game itself. you can like these games all you want, i still enjoy parts of them myself, but calling them the best is a huge reach.

gen five: right off the bat im gonna say that i do love the gen five games so nobody thinks im being overly critical or anything. i love the aesthetic of these games, i ADORE the pokemon here and they're some of the most fun pokemon games to play through. it's the story and characters (with the exception of n i will absolutely give credit where it is die there) that throw me for a loop.

i feel like whenever i praise the story or characters im just following the crowd here. i don't know if im just very stupid (i definitely am very stupid) or what but none of it felt as powerful as people claim it is for me personally. maybe i should just pay more attention but i honestly don't know. im definitely not saying theyre bad or anything i just in all hobestly dont get the (very sudden) hype.

uhhh i can't say much about bw2 because i haven't beaten it since it came out but i remember liking hugh and it made iris a champion so i remember them being good on those two things alone.

gen six: hohohohoho here we go. tbh i don't even know what i can say about xy that hasn't already been said. like gen one might be a huge mess looking back on it but at least it had character. xy introduced a few pokemon that i really liked and some amazing shiny hunting methods that should definitely return but that's the most i can say in terms of praise.

i dont think pokemon has ever gotten this boring before, and that's speaking as someone who clocked over 300 hours into my x save file. nothing has life (which in hindsight is ironic considering xerneas is the god of life) and i hate the way mega evolution was handled so much. i really don't know what else to say because everyone has already said what i want to but i think this has been pokemon's lowest point so far.

oras once again made hoenn complicated for me. they made hoenn somewhat interesting for me in a way that didnt capture me in the originals. i don't think they're stellar but ive seen people call these the worst ones and....why. i get that the originals are special to a lot of people and that they feel like oras did them injustice but honestly i would oras over the originals because they're just more fun for me.

gen seven: it made popplio. 10/10.

okay so i can understand why the very slow start and unskippable long cutscenes threw a lot of people off but i just don't understand so much of the hate it around other things. again i see people proclaiming it as the worst and you can see it as that from a gameplay element, but the story fucking slapped ass and i don't think amybody can or should deny that. maybe i just feel very passionately about them because they're very personal for me in helping me through a rough time in my life but i just also dont see why everybody is so mad at these games sometimes.

the fact that sm mean so much to me makes usum's entire existence hurt so much more. like wow i love abuse apologism: the game thank you sooooo much gamefreak! /s

aside from ultra wormhole jumping, my baby dusk lycanroc and the new ultra beasts i dont care for anything new usum brought. it feels like it back peddled so much by completely ruining lillie's character by attempting to make lusamine likable when the damage from the first games was already done. i hate usum they're the only pokemon games i can state that i hate. i don't know how you can take sm's well-done albeit flawed blueprints, take out everything that was good and only leave stuff that either doesn't matter or is actively harmful.

also let's go pikachu and eevee exist too idrc

gen eight: ive already spoken my piece on swsh but im gonna be more clear here. i dont think swsh is inherently bad and i can still have fun with them. i dont think the issue here lies with the cut pokedex. i could honestly care less about that and i always figured we would get to this point. the issue lies with nintendo and tpci pushing for yearly releases, forcing the devs to make yearly subpar games. i can think of so many ways they can remedy this situation: taking longer times between releases, hiring more staff at gamefreak or even splitting developments for different projects between multiple different studios. i hope that the reported low moral at gamefreak at swsh's releases is enough of a wake up call for change but that could just be me being optimistic.

i am SO sorry this ended up as long as it is but i have a lot of opinions and not enpugh willpower to keep my mouth shut

[ellie-sande]

Euphoria- a dumb bitch’s HOT TAKE

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m gonna do an analysis of the characters I think are the most interesting (read as fuck McKay, he boring as SHIIIITT), so this shit is gonna be looooong. Y’all better brace yourselves UwUUUU 🥺😝😩😈

The episode: I didn’t really feel a strong emotion towards it??? Like, it was definitely the sloppiest episode by far in terms of the way that everything was edited and the timeline of events. It was visually stimulating and literal poetic cinema, as always, but that’s nothing new with Euphoria. I think a lot of the jumps between characters and scenes were completely unnecessary and honestly kind of agitating?? Instead of leaving us with new unanswered questions, we have the same ones we’ve had the whole season? In my opinion, it would’ve been more effective for them to have fully closed some plot points or at least bring them to a point where I’m still interested (I’m looking at you, Nate and Jules plot). But like, overall it's still a pretty decent episode.  I think the ending was messy because we don’t know how much of it was just a music video and how much was legit part of the storyline which is a BIG DEAL. It just came after one of the best in the season, which made it feel significantly weaker. but tHat’S jUsT my oPINION 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Jules:

I think Jules is the biggest wildcard of the season, and we know so little about her, so it’s kind of difficult to understand what her intention is. I think that’s absolutely intentional by the writers because they want the audience in Rue’s head, y’know??? That’s my way of warning y’all that this shit is LONG  🤷🏾‍♀️

When Jules came clean about everything, she was doing what she thought was best for the relationship, which is open communication. She could tell that her not telling Rue about Nate was ruining the relationship (she said so in ep. 7). There was never malicious intent in her telling Rue about her hookup and Nate. She was just doing what she thought was right, and tbh??? IM PROUD OF THAT DUMBASS. One of her biggest issues is definitely effective and open communication and this is definitely a step in the right direction, y’know??

THAT BEING SAID, when I first watched the episode, I thought that her and Anna still flirting or whatevah and being iN loVE was out of character and went against the arc that I was expecting from Jules. BUUUUUT, I thought about it and here’s my take: I think that Jules just wants to be free from the external pressures in east highland, y’know? This whole entire season, her character did not get a fucking BREAK so I totally understand. There’s so much responsibility and pressure for her to be perfect or act a certain way, and for her, running away was the easiest way for her to disassociate herself from that responsibility. No 17 yr old should feel like the weight of the world and the safety of the people that she loves are on her shoulders. My bby @lameparty made an amazing point in our chat about how all of her actions (being more “free” and open about her issues with rue) are futile attempts at replicating the liberation and nonchalant-ness she felt while she was away. It’s her way of desperately (and unhealthily) bringing home that atmosphere.

i’ve seen a lot of people assume that jules is fully aware of her power over rue and takes advantage of it, uses her, and leaves her before she needs her next fix of attention, but i totally don’t agree??? i think that for the most part, jules has been emotionally supportive of rue and has been there for her when she needed her. i mean she did that LITERALLY EVERY EPISODE EXCEPT FOR 6+7 (for good reason. the bitch was going through the mOST). she never wanted or intended for rue to form a dependency on her, she just wanted her best friend to be sober and thrive because her mom was an addict and that ruined her adolescence (for obvious reasons). so when the people around her kept pressuring her with the weight of rue’s sobriety, she freaked out a bit (and for good reason. no one should be anyone’s sole reason to do literally ANYTHING). she knew that regardless of the severity of her actions, rue’s relapse was inevitable if the relationship continued on like that (i mean, in ep. 5, the bitch said WHEN you hate me, not if because she knows that in rue’s current mental state, a relapse, miscommunication, or a wrong step on jules’s side is inevitable). PLUS, jules is an extremely volatile person. her first instinct is to physically and emotionally escape whenever the going gets tough, so i think she knew that this probably couldn’t work.

Moreover, the bitch is embracing her queerness and as much as I don’t really looooveeee how she’s doing it, it makes sense with her character. I think she uses sex as an escape and a form of validation, so of course this is how she’s going to explore her sexuality. She just wants to be free and have fun and be adventurous atm and the whole Nate thing  + being in her first relationship is not IT for her rn and that’s totally fair. That being said, I think her arc is gonna be about her accepting that freedom isn’t just sex and drugs??? It’s way more than that and comes in different (and way healthier) ways, but that’s what growing is. It’s learning from mistakes and figuring out what you like, so I can’t really be mad at her.

BUUUUUTTTT, my bitch said/did some things that i can’t stand by. she said that she loved rue at the train station, knowing that rue is weak for her and would probably give in and come with her on this wild adventure. that is FUCKING PROBLEMATIC. and prior to that, the bitch said that she THOUGHT THAT RUE WOULD THRIVE IN THE ENVIRONMENT THAT SHE WAS IN. WHAT??? as much as i believe that she had good intentions and she really just wanted to explore the world with her girl, that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s still manipulative at worst, inconsiderate at best, and problematic considering the dynamic that the two of them have. i get that she genuinely wants rue to meet her new friends and anna, but all in all, it’s so reckless for her to even consider it. she’s aware that rue is a recovering addict and she was willing to put her in a toxic environment where she would be surrounded by drugs and alcohol, making a relapse literally SO EASY. and on top of that, jules knows that she’s probably going to hook up with anna and considering that rue is so in love with jules, that would’ve hurt her soooo much, enough for her to probably want to numb the pain, y’know??? but all in all, that’s what growing up is. it’s two steps forward and one step back, y’know? even though jules is starting to see the beauty in honest communication and queerness, she did try to manipulate rue, even if that wasn’t necessarily her intention. 

I think that Anna replaces Jules’s older, non-committal man to pine over. She never really fixed her problem of trying to find validation from the wrong people, it’s just expressing itself in a different form. It’s obvious that Anna is significantly older than her (peep the message that Anna sent about being shocked that Jules is in high school) and I think that just like a lot of people her age, she feels special or validated when she’s liked by someone older and more experienced. The relationship is obviously supposed to be a type of foil to her previous relationship with cis white men. Add the fact that there are facets of Anna’s personality that remind Jules of Rue, the gal that Jules is falling for, which makes them the perfect person for Jules to pine over because the relationship is something that she’s used to (texting, non-committal, toxic).

In summary, I think she loves the idea of Anna (independent, older, experienced, free spirited, and fun) but loves rue regardless of the fact that she doesn’t/can’t provide those things for her. I think that jules also associates Anna with adventure and discovery and as the young ambitious bitch that she is, it obviously is an attractive idea for her y’know??? for her, i think rue is the stability, monogamy and commitment that she might not be ready for yet, even tho she loves rue and wants a future with her. Her relationship with Rue is hard work and maybe a bit heartbreaking, but overall, the connection is stronger and the passion and commitment that she’ll give and receive will make the relationship way more fulfilling than whatever half-assed thing she’ll have with Anna.  Next season, she’ll probably come back either heartbroken, unfulfilled or still in love with Rue, but the question is should rue take her back or nah y’know?? She’ll definitely be pining for Rue when she gets back and rue may not be available or willing anymore. We’ll seeeeeeeee.

Rue:

My bitch is in PAIIINNN and I hate it. I think that her saying no to leaving with Jules even if a big part of her wanted to run away with her is amazing progress for her. She finally chose her family and herself first, not Jules, which will break her dependence on Jules. Like, I’m SOOOOO proud of her and she’s come so far as a character. I’m not sure as to where the music video starts and the season ends, but I have two theories. Either she: never actually snorted that line of coke and we’ll see her progress next season OR she overdosed and came back to life. The fact that the song ended so abruptly means that the season will probably start right where it left off. Unless told otherwise tho, the show ends with her crying and remembering her family and all the shit she’s put them through because that’s a waaayyy more interesting arc (EDIT: JACOB SAID THAT RUE’S DEFINITELY ALIVE!!! I KEEP WINNING FR!!! MY! MIND!) She’s no longer a selfish addict with no reason to live. She’s seeing that the people around her, even without Jules there, support her and have been by her side through the most and maybe that’s good enough atm.

Lexi:

against popular opinion, i don’t necessarily think that the big reveal of her sexuality is that she’s a lesbian. to ME, it seems like they’re setting up that she’s ace and probs bi or homo-romantic??? the average sexual person knows who they want to fuck or kiss, and the fact that she has to ask for advice from her sister I think is foreshadowing that she doesn’t know. Not because she’s shy or because she’s a lesbian, but because she truly just doesn’t want to fuck anyone. and if that’s the case i’m SO EXCITED TF??? i’ve never seen that type of character arc on mainstream media and it’s sooo necessary to show that story in a positive light. i think that the show is waaayyy too intentional and clever to not give proper hints at her liking rue. If they were setting up her and rue, they should’ve done more to portray the pining on Lexi’s side. they’ve set up more of a longing for friendship and comfort than anything else and tbh???? that’s wayyy more interesting and relatable for me??? but that’s my opinion 🤷🏾‍♀️

That being said, i could see her and rue together next season bc the foreshadowing is sooo vague that they can do whatever the fuck they want next season. maude and zendaya need to work on their chemistry then bc iTS NOT CLICKING. i definitely think that rue is going to use her tho, which isn’t fair to lexi. additionally, lexi is a bit too soft to stand her ground with rue, and if rue goes down the relapse route next season, their dynamic is going to be the same toxic dynamic they had up until episode 5. She’s an amazing person that deserves better than being an easy out or second best.

i think that because she was raised in her sister’s shadow with a shit ton less attention and love from literally everyone in her family, she has low self-image, so it would make sense that she wants the intimacy that comes from a relationship. maybe her addiction is just being there for others bc no one was there for her when she needed them??? @lameparty spilt the truth tea bc they said that “she exists for other people right now and she exists in the safe + limiting shadow of her sister,” and i think that rue represents a sort of freedom from that because rue is only hers and rue can’t see her as second best to her sister. as a fellow semi-abandoned child turned mom-friend, this makes total sense to me bc she wants to make sure that everyone around her never feels as neglected as she did her whole life.

Rue and Jules: 

honestly, i’m tired of people blaming rue’s relapse on jules not being there. she literally has had MI since she was a kid. this shit ain’t new. and even if it was new,  the fact that so many of the viewers were angry at jules for not being there during rue’s manic/depressive episode angers me for three reasons. a) JULES WAS DEPRESSED. she legit didn’t leave her bed for the whole week, to the point that her father was worried. b) just like jules, rue probably only told her that she was feeling under the weather and that she missed her. how is she supposed to magically put together that rue is going through a depressive/manic episode??? c) no person should be your sole reason to be happy. y’all want a CODEPENDENCY not a relationship, and like i totally understand wanting to protect rue. she’s the main character and we’re always in her head, but from episode three, it was pretty obvious that her definition of love is really skewed. she said that you know that you love someone when you can’t live without them, which is generally reaaaallly unhealthy.

these two are such an interesting dynamic, and tbh, i think they’re actually really good for each other (not rn, obviously). i think this is a case of right person, wrong time. they’re obviously soul mates/star crossed lovers, but the problem is that neither of them is mature enough to be in a serious relationship. rue is a recovering addict with a dependency issue and jules is an overly eager, ambitious person that’s never been in a loving relationship. one of the biggest issues in their relationship is the fact that these two have different wants and needs from the relationship. rue fell for jules almost immediately, has wanted to be with her ever since, and wants stability, comfort, and monogamy. on the other hand, jules wants adventure, excitement, and exploration. jules obviously pictures spending her life with rue, but the problem is that in the moment, she can’t be with rue without hurting her because she’s still exploring her queerness, which means that she’ll have one foot out the door until she’s gotten her fill.

because of that, i’m really proud of BOTH OF THEM for standing their ground and choosing themselves instead of each other. i have no doubt that both of them had a part of themselves that regretted leaving the other person, but at the end of the day, it was what was necessary. 

even though rue was the person that suggested running away, she became hesitant because she finally thought about her FAMILY. y’all, that’s AMAZING character development because, at the beginning of the season, rue literally walked over every person that was in her life in order to get her fix. she stole from her mom, got lexi to pee for her, yelled at fez when he didn’t give her drugs, etc. up until episode 5 or so, rue was an extremely selfish character with one exception: jules. from the moment she met jules, her only goal was to make her as happy as jules makes her just by being there, and because of that, she has sacrificed her comfort in some situations. this is the exact opposite of her previous issue where instead not caring about anyone including herself, she only cares about one person an exceeding amount. both of these are problematic. more importantly, this allows her to finally break her dependency on jules. rue fell for jules and stayed sober for her because it felt like she was her flashlight in the dark cave that is her life, and now, she has to find that jules isn’t the only light. her family, lexi, fez, the rest of the girls are all there AND my hope is that she finds that she can be her own light and do this for herself. as much as her decision hurts both the audience and rue, this shows that she’s not just a stagnant character and that she’s learning and evolving into an amazing person. i’m proud of jules because she didn’t stay behind out of guilt or worry. that would’ve perpetuated rue’s dependency and overall, probably made jules resent rue.

i think that jules was being honest when she said that she was in love with rue, i really do. there was an earnest and almost shy look in her eyes, which was so cute??? but it’s honestly more than that. jules looks for rue no matter where she is. for her, rue is her home and something that she finds comfort in. it was obvious in episode 4 and 7. in episode 4, jules runs to rue because she finds comfort in her. whenever she’s in rue’s arms, she feels a warmth that i don’t think she’s ever felt with anyone else and when she finds that tyler isn’t real, her first thought is that rue has been there for her through thick and thin and is her safe place. it’s obvious why she gravitates towards anna. she sees rue in her, which immediately makes her feel at ease. add the fake deep convo, their sex appeal and the drugs, and you have a hella messy situation. and then there’s the fucking romeo and juliet passage that jules recites to rue that basically says that she’s in love with rue, but thinks everything is happening too fast and will come crashing down. she knows that given that they had more time/weren’t so eager to get together, the relationship would be beautiful and flourish, but they aren’t giving each other the space to grow, which was eventually the end of their relationship (at least for now). 

Kat:

I’m proud of her. She did the damn thing. NEXT

Nate:

I think that Nate and McKay are not all that different. His breakdown this ep is more or less for the same reasons as McKay’s breakdown after those guys assaulted him in front of his girl which is that he felt emasculated by his dad overpowering him. In episode two, he did the same flexing thing after his workout. I think it’s his way of feeling powerful and masculine. All this just shows that he needs fucking therapy, but he’s not just some sociopath y’know? His character is deeper than that and can feel pain and anguish. I’m honestly so happy that they included that because it both shows the abuse in his relationship with his dad which obviously carries into his relationships with women and grounds him as a character. that being said, nate is an asshole and there’s no better ship on this show than nate + electric chair 🥺😝😩(but, i’ll settle for prison or whatevahhhhh) 

all in all, I think that this show has two amazing themes in it which are: teens are waayyy more resilient than people think and addiction comes in different forms and each of them is problematic and selfish. i think that the show is amazing at getting people to empathize with rue, but i feel like people need to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of these characters are HUMAN and make a lot of shitty mistakes. no character should be cancelled just because they make a mistake, especially when the characters are supposed to be literal hormonal teenagers????? every character on this show is deserving of the audience's understanding (except McKay. FUCK HIM)

[glorywaited]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

can be used for RP  &&  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen  !

1. FIRST NAME  :  miyeon

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF  :  i have ridiculously long hair tbh u can just call me asian rapunzel !!

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON  :  eyes, face shape, legs  (  im weak i just rly love thighs okay but also t-tiddy....n chest....  )

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF  : kimbap n dak galbi with cheese !! n i’ll never get tired of rice in any form tbh but i looove spicy spicy food i’ll never tired of spicy !!

5. A FOOD YOU HATE  :  raw onions

6. GUILTY PLEASURE  : oh on here it’s...eugene/cass ships lmao

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN  :  i have usually cute pyjama sets n soft short shorts but i often lose my shirt especially when it’s too hot but i also have very cute comfy fluffy blankets i like to curl up in completely !!

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS  : oh i don’t mind both types !! when i’m serious tho i am very serious but when i’m on my own i like some flings but not incredibly often i usually stick with friends i trust for those thing much more often n daily !!

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE  ,  WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE  :  many thing but i won’t feel comfortable to share such personal thing

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON  :  mmmm depends !! culturally it’s weird to hug so much especially people u don’t know but i do become much more affectionate when i trust someone n am close !! i like to be physically close to people i love !! n i like making people happy it makes me very happy too !! but initially i keep distance from people lil bit

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN  :  into the spider-verse !!

12. FAVORITE BOOK  :  i can’t think of ones people will kno here but i dont read too often for pleasure rly ?? my most recent favourite book from past year i guess is the lo.st lag.oon tho !! its not rly canon but i liked it a lot n take headcanons from it anyway that i’ve had since i start this blog last year !!

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE  :   i have always want specifically a snowy owl since i was very little !! they’re so beautiful n elegant n i just have always adored owls, i have owls on my pants rn !! && ive always want !! bunnies !! i have a kitty rn !!

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS   (  IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG  ,  YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL  )  :  for cass in canon !! i rly adore eugene && cass, raps && cass, lance && cass, adira && cass, stalyan && cass, eugene/cass/raps OT3 !! for this blog outside of her canon muses i rly love some  ships i have with elsa && cass, anna && cass, honeymaren && cass, hiccup && cass, bh6 fred && cass && OCS && CASS !! i have...a lot of wants for crossover ships too...i can list so many lmao...i cheated on this one bUT !!

15. PIE OR CAKE  :  pie, i rly love fruits n fruit flavours most !! but i prefer other sweets than cake or pies tho

16. FAVORITE SCENT  :  sweet peas, rose, lavender && fresh cherry blossoms !!

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH  :  oh !! chungha... n sunmi !! the entirety of kard...

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO  :  oh i love paris && want to go to hawaii in america !! so pretty. but i love most singapore n want to go again !! i rly love travelling n have travel several places !!

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT  :  introvert but i will become more open with people i trust !!

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY  :  i don’t at all it’s kind of a funny thing with my friends try to scare me but i just stare them back lol !! but i can become startle easier because of ptsd but i wouldn’t count much as...actually scare

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID  : iphone

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES  :  yes always !! i played league a lot when i was younger && now i play a lot of ove.rwa.tch. i like a lot of fps games now rly but i like to play more casual stuff on my spare time too. rn i’m replay the biosh.ock games n i’m on the second one now !!

23. DREAM JOB  : professional dancer or film or photography

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS  :  make better life for me n my friends n make sure i’ll be stable n fine for the future !!

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE  : i dont ?? think i hate many if i don’t like things i just kind of...ignore n go about my business but i have had characters ruin for me from bad people

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER  : i was in the league rpc n ovw rpcs until recently but i wouldn’t say i rly left them ?? i have verses on here for both too n i have a ovw ashe blog i need to be more active on....n a nee.ko blog.... i’ve just been so depress lately it’s hard to write anywhere hh i miss them sm :’(

tagged by  :   @stormdive​​  (  thank u so muuuuch ily !! ♡  )

tagging  :  im not sure who have done this yet so....pls say i tag u n do it so i can see aa !!

[survivor-mesopotamia]

Ep. #4 - “I’m extending a bridge to you” (Zach)

There is zero upside to being captain. If captains are swapped, then I'm basically screwed, and if they pick, then I have to reveal my allegiances to people still in the game. I absolutely do not want to be captain. I'm not crazy about Zach being it either, I'd prefer it to be someone like Kyle or Grace, but if Zach is going to push for it we will see what happens

https://youtu.be/9jTSUqwcuPU Confessional 7 (Round 3 #2)

Voting out Chrissa was probably one of the hardest votes I've ever had to encountered, and it honestly really hurts. For me, voting her out was the best strategically because we talked the least. And by the time tribal started, I ended up in alliances of 3 with Will & Megan and JJ & Julian respectively. Given the ranking system, we are all expecting some sort of tribe swap, which might be best for my game so long as I have someone else on my tribe with me. However, JJ recently got into a lot of trouble. Stuff about sending nudes because he "perceived there to be consent". Yikes. Apparently other people know about it too, which makes sense because this call happened in tengaged about it. We are thinking he might be removed, but we don't know what's to happen yet. I think most of us are running under the assumption that he'd be voted out next tribal should he not be removed. It's pretty gross what he did, and I definitely won't be aligned with him any longer. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTzwD-rR8Ws&feature=youtu.be

I am happy JJ is out of the game, both because he deserves it based on his behavior and because one less number. The tribe challenge has me worried. I hope it is a challenge with Zach representing us, because he is good and it also keeps him a bigger target than me. If it's a swap, I'm very nervous and will probably have to paint myself as being on the outs if I end up in a minority, which would almost certainly happen relative to the other two tribes. No matter what, the backstabbing is probably going to start very soon, so buckle your seatbelts everyone.

Confessional 9: https://youtu.be/WhBt-uWOdEA Confessional 10: https://youtu.be/1ZbVWE-2AqM

volunteering for the summit bc im bored and wanna just be a bit risky. i feel like if a twist gets leashed upon me, it'll be surface level. Praying for the best!

Tribe Summit - https://youtu.be/46NdXf1N37U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeX4PKTjQlw&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/96RCT99DDWI Confessional #8 (Round 4 Confessional #1) Contents: JJ's removal, the summit, Kyle's removal, new tribe.

Holy shit so we've had a tribe swap and two removals. Both kinda shocking and completely out of the blue what had happened. Oddly still not the craziest thing I've seen done on either end of org playing but still. So far with the new tribe I feel I got the good end of the stick with zach and Collin and myself staying together for the most part kinda wish we had all stayed together because of you know being out numbered by returning players there's the enitial Holy shit fuck I'm screwed feeling but so far the tribe seems pretty cool. Which is odd and weird from what I've heard for Tumblr games from my understanding they're the more cutthroat game but so far everything has kinda been predictable in placements just as an outsider looking in but ya know. So far I'm really enjoying Abby she seems pretty cool and like I could work with her for a while but yeah that's all for now

post swap BIG boy confessional https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyooK5AHp1Y&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/6IrXzJm6qNk

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https://youtu.be/MoJSBeUUdWQ

https://youtu.be/CSKB4qzvWU0 Group Confessional #1 Catching up on Each other's games and preparing for what the swap has in store for us

Uhm hi so a lot has happened and I'm sorry I didn't do confessionals before describing it all but yah -Not sure if I did a conf for the last round but basically the challenge was more flash games (yay fml) and my tribe flopped yet again (yay) -We decided to vote out chrissa unan but chrissa apparently voted for me so that was cute, already breaking my goal of not getting votes so early THANKS CHRISSA -Then JJ got removed from the game for sexually harassing ppl which is NOT COOl but then my tribe was down to four members and thats just sad luv -Then there was a random ass ranking for this summit thing and i was like wtf i dont know but I kinda figured id be getting voted as the team captain for my tribe which like eeeek could potentially put a target on my back but also i like these people and i think they like me so i'll just accept it -turns out the other tribe captains voted in were Johnny and Zach and I was like well thats cute tbh i think i like both of them (i have been on zoom calls in friend groups with zachary lately and although he is pretty quiet he seems like a nice person) (and i think i know johnny from a sequester mini before and hes a brother of aepi which is basically the partner fraternity to the sorority i was in called aephi and so were basically connected by greek life blood because hes a pi and im a phi and yas Jews -Okay anyway i volunteer to not be a tribe captain because 1. i didnt want the blood on my hands for picking a tribe (memories of svalbard ahhhh) and 2. i wanted to be on johnny's tribe hehehehe. so i did that and then i let johnny pick first and guess what!! he picked me first on his tribe!! even before anyone from his og tribe!! i thought that was weird but really cool -the new tribe seemed pretty cool and chill and i thought i was digging everyone BUT THEN kyle makes fucking COMMENTS ABOUT JEW STEREOTYPES and i was like SIR and i kinda missed everything in the heat of the moment but basically kyle got removed and im not surprised he did because to my knowledge, i already know of three fkn jews on our tribe (benji me and johnny) and we have a jew host so like why kyle would make comments like that is beyond me but WHY DO I KEEP GETTING PUT ON TRIBES WITH CRAZY PPL -anyway right now i adore johnny and i want to work with him i feel like he and i vibe so well together and we are already planning on making a stoner alliance with abi and jay from his OG tribe lmfaooo -i also like grace and julian on my tribe and benji so far is really cool and isabelle is a sweetheart so i really just hope we dont lose the next challenge and have to vote someone out because i like these people so far and i wanna get to know them more -this has been a really mentally difficult week both in game and in real life and im sorry i havent been doing more confessionals but ive really just needed a huge break due to everything thats been going on 

I've locked in a five person alliance with original An (Johnny Isabelle and Benji), plus Adam. Johnny I'm connected to with Trace, Isabelle and I somehow both go to Georgetown, and I like speaking with Benji. I don't know how this alliance interacts with original alliance, that's future me's problem, but I really like this group

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If Megan “may have accidentally” found out information from the other tribe, then I “may have accidentally” decided to shift the target onto her. Somebody not purely abiding by the rules of the game is somebody I won’t completely trust

So JJ and Kyle both got removed. OOP!!! Now to figure out how messy this game is gonna be. Will Will and I be able to play middle for our first tribal and get to choose between returnees and newbies? hopefully. More on that scoop later! 

https://youtu.be/vGd9Ik49CmU Confessional #10 (Round 4 Confessional #3)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stpzz7-cKUg

Confessional 11: https://youtu.be/ad2R99H1g1k

https://youtu.be/PjodrB6CgLo

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https://youtu.be/y0n7YKB0EF0

NOOOOOOO HOW COULD WE OF LOST we had everything planned i do feel kinda safe I've talked to abby mostly and i think i have a girls alliance in the works with her but for now being the only two female identifying people on the tribe. We have to pull in some boys but we've got our old tribe mates which lucky for me is my main alliance from that tribe not having Michael is a big yay because love him but pretty sure he was planning on flipping on us to work with some people from the an tribe but ya know it is what it is and hopefully this is the only trival Council we have to go to and hopefully from the sounds of it it's Eric going home so hopefully that's the case and i don't end up voinv home because FYCUCJUCK THAT SHIT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9YueU_paNg&feature=youtu.be

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Of the players left on my tribe, I think Megan is the biggest threat to my game, with many cross-tribe ties. Last night, I began laying the groundwork with Johnny of eventually making her the target, without expressly stating my desire to vote her out. We'll see how this plays out, but I want Megan out first

---

From the other tribe, I badly want an original An to go. It takes away an option from the Ans on my swap tribe and locks them in more with me, while preserving my options. On the flip side, a Triforce member going is the worst case scenario for the exact same reason as above, this time benefiting original An. Original Enlil going is fairly neutral

https://youtu.be/7IpJ1SC2ah8

So we lost :( It really sucks bc i put more effort into my lip sync than I think I ever have before. And of course with losing comes tribal, the first tribal for some people on my new tribe. I don't think I've done a confessional since we swapped so I'll just run down how I feel about everyone. Monty/Abby - Just gonna bunch these two together since they were on my original tribe. While they weren't in my alliance, I bonded with them like I bonded with everyone on An. We made an alliance immediately at Ea and I feel real good about facing this swap with them. Part of me does worry they knew about that original alliance and they'll throw me under the bus though. Will - Okay so I was completely blindsided by the fact that I already knew Will before the game! We played at least 1 ORG together and I remember him a little bit from just being in the community. I feel like I've really hit it off with him again and working with him feels natural. He was the first one who threw Cameron out as a vote to me last night and a lot of people really latched onto that plan. So he's definitely charismatic and influential. Eric - I've known Eric for quite some time actually. He's someone who's very easy for me to trust. Like I really hope I'm not getting the wrong read on him but he just feels honest in our conversations. He did kinda suck in the music video challenge tho LOL so I feel like he could be in danger if we go to tribal again. Cameron - They're who I'm voting out tonight. I've had no contact with them outside of the tribe chat at all. And our interactions in the tribe chat I just feel...idk like every time I talk they give me some snide remark. Zach even told me that Cameron barely spoke to him and Collin on their original tribe. So it just feels easy, if a bit TOO easy, like I'm scared it's secretly me somehow. So I guess the upside to anxiety is you never get blindsided cuz you always think it's you. Zach - I've been talking to him more often these last few days and he is wayyy smarter than most 15 year olds I've interacted with. He knew it was Cameron immediately when I started talking to him about the vote (Though I suspect it's because Will told him). He's told me more info about his original tribe than I really thought I'd get out of him. He's basically telling me that it was Zach/Collin/Kyle vs. Cameron/The rest of the newbies. So like it makes sense that he's willing to just let Cameron go. However this situation is worrying because Zach's position is almost EXACTLY my position in a game I played very recently (703 San Andres). I've seen firsthand how a competent duo in the minority can upset the majority if just one person in that majority makes a mistake. So I'm not gonna promise Zach anything just yet, I don't want him to sell me out. But I would like to see him stick around even if we lose another time. Collin - Okay I REALLY like Collin. He's super nice, he basically compliments me every time I talk to him. Which is nice, but I know he's playing that social game. And he's playing it WELL. I think if all goes well at tribal, then I'm gonna talk to Collin about really working together going forward. Basically my overarching plan on this tribe has been to make sure that if my name comes up, there will always be someone to shut it down. And I really feel like Collin, Monty, and Eric would especially keep me safe. 

Cameron left.......it sucks, because it takes away my options, but among the Enki's it is the least bad scenario, since I was closer with Collin and Zach. I don't hold it against them for voting against Cameron, do what you gotta do, but I am nervous for them. I'm not throwing any challenges or anything, but I hope they survive, and I'm less nervous about myself losing than them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kWts3h2n9s

hi hi hi so far so good on the Ea tribe! i dont think anyone know about zach and i so we're remaining in the clear hehe (he has been a little difficult to corral tho) i feel like im making good connections so far so hopefully ill remain utr and if we go back to tribal i wont be a target, and if we dont i hope the other tribe takes out a big target for us

Have I mentioned that I love winning? It's just so great that nobody knows me and Monty are working together and we're subtly pulling the strings - Jay thinks he came up with Cameron's name, great he's the mastermind now and we can target him. Collin and Zach want to form a four with me and Eric - great, that keeps me and Monty apart so nobody will know and we can still vote separately. Eric's an easy target for everyone so we (Monty) just get the other returnees to target him (if we lose again) and then I can use that to flip Eric on Abby or Jay and it's just... so delicious. It's so easy to take everyone out one by one when nobody knows that you have a solid F2 already.

https://youtu.be/CVG2Z_-XjBM from this past round

https://youtu.be/yMGLsGhv6wc Confessional 12

https://youtu.be/ylahV3wyXrs

Cameron voted out 7-1

[kojinnie]

The Way It Was

“How come you don’t know The Killers?”

“Haha,” The laughter on your face was faint unlike what your mouth suggested, something told me that you didn’t find it funny albeit the teasing nature in my question, “I have my own taste.”

Maybe I was wrong for not taking it on the first cue as I carried on with my unsuspecting grimace, “You are so uncultured!” which was stopped by the abrupt halt in your faint smile. It had turned cold suddenly when you got up and flicked your cigarette that was not even halfway done on the ashtray. It happens again, I thought, I crossed the line.

I bought the tickets on the simple basis of: I thought it would be fun. Afterall, you had fed me with hours of Chet Baker and bunch of your favorite artists, be it in your home, your workplace, your car. I took your interest as mine and I cherish everyone moment your face lit up each time your favorite tune would come out.

Sometimes, in your slurry drunken speech you would tell me how lucky you were to have met me for we had so much in common – disregarding the fact that it was all the hard work I put in. But I liked the way your curls disheveled across your face and the way your body curled up beneath the hotel’s bedding. I was never bothered.

But for us, the start of the end began when we were at the car following one too many impulsive calls of yours (“Hey, I’m picking you up. I need to buy groceries”), no matter whether I was having dinner with my parents or simply planning to have a quality time of my own, I would go with you. I was checking an Instagram notification when I jolted out of surprise although being strapped to the seat belt of your passenger seat.

You grunted, “What?” sounding annoyed as you oftentimes would by my reactions over things that you’d find ‘too much’ or ‘unnecessary’.

I said The Killers was announced to headline in local festival. I yielded my shriek as you threw me a piercing stare, “Since when do you like them?”, and I didn’t know how to tell you that I’ve always liked them since over a decade ago. I guess over the course of our five years relationship I never had the time to tell you that, amidst all your grandeur ideas about what you wanted to do with your life, although none of it was ever materialized.

             The day of the festival came and you dressed nicely like you always did. I liked that part of you. You picked me up from my home and I leaned over for a kiss as I situated myself on your passenger seat, but you turned your face away, mumbling, “Let’s go home right after the encore.” 

I had imagined a car ride where I would blast The Killers’ songs aloud, as I got you in the mood. But all I got was silence and the shrilling voice of the daytime radio host as we cruised through the interstate highway.

As we arrived, you roughly parked your car in the queue for valet service. Disguising the weight of my heart, I tried to lighten up the mood, “Yeay, we’re here!” And I carried on, talking to myself on how crowded it was, which songs I looked forward the most to – all efforts to conceal any trace of reaction to your elaborate cold shoulder play. But I guess it became quite too much for me in the seconds leading to you taking the valet ticket, when you asked, “What time will this band play?”

             “Well, they’re last on the line-up. They’re supposed to play right after—”

             “—what time?”

             “Um, 9.30.”

             “Then I need to reschedule the call with Mr. Krasinski.”

             “Who?”

             “The potential investor.”

             “Wait, what? For the studio? Why didn’t you tell me?”

             “You bought the tickets already.”

I knew you had expected guilt to arise from me, and you were so good at it because that was exactly the only thing I felt that night.

The festival happened to be so overwhelming because I felt like floating, you were walking beside me a foot away. I’d walk closer to tangle my hand in yours only to be shunned away. I tried to lighten up the mood by pointing out some people dressing up funny, or the neon aesthetics of the festival, or whatever I could lay my eyes on. But all you uttered was haha, oh, okay.

Maybe it’s the age gap, I thought to myself as I saw you walking away to the nearest smoking booth. Maybe we differ in priorities, as I cheered myself on. But it’s tiring, I reminded myself. It’s like walking on eggshells, I confided to myself. It’s suffocating, I confessed to myself.

Ping! – a tootle from my phone took me back. I had been texting a close friend, telling her about you.

[19.38, +628211236****] tbh im getting tired of hearing him being like that

I leered at where you were, standing leaning to the glass partition of the smoking booth, when I saw you being approached by a guy in a cap, tall with hospitable smile. You embraced him in a friendly manner, and I was glad for a second that you had met someone you knew to take your mind off of how much you hated to be here.

[19.40, Me] ikr it’s suffocating

[19.41, +8211236****] hufft he’s years older than you. let him take care of himself for awhile. you should enjoy brandon flowers!!!

I smiled because there was a truth in that.

When I put my phone away, I saw you were walking over with your friend, and I had to put up a smile. As the two of you came closer, I began to realize how tall your friend was. He had such a radiant presence as you introduced the two of us, “This is my girlfriend.” You said, with your fingers latching to my waist in all of a sudden. We shook hands and you rambled about where he was working, how the two of you knew each other from high school, but all I could think of was how I just wanted your hands to stay there on my waist even after he left.

             Maybe it was your ability to make me nervous and anxious even after all these years, but I had to visit the loo, so I whispered in your ears to ask you to hold my phone and purse while I took time to the portable loo. You kissed me in the cheek and said, “Okay. I’ll be here with Joon.” And I bet your friend Joon would think we were perfect.

When I went out you were nowhere to be found. My heart plunged as all my belongings were with you and that this place was huge. I frantically looked around for awhile before what I had not wished to happen was about to happen.

I didn’t know where you had suddenly appeared from, but in all of a sudden, you came back and yanked my arms and dragged me off of the main arena to the back of Food & Beverages tents, where no one was around. I had been dragging my feet to balance your long stride, that when you finally let me go, I lost balance and fell on the graveled terrain.

“What’s happening?!”

But of course, the silence.

From afar I could hear the commotion of scream, and the bass riff of The Killers’ ‘The Man’ setting off. The show had already begun.

You stood there, taking my phone out of my purse, showing me the screen, which displayed the text conversation I had been having earlier on with my close friend. It was apparent that you had been going through my phone while I was at the loo. I should’ve known. It came to me as no surprise.

“Talking about me now?”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” I sighed, and started to get up to take back my phone from your hands, “The show’s starting now, let’s go.”

Maybe I was getting bored by your antics. Maybe I rolled my eyes a bit as well. Maybe it was my disregarding your inquisition. Maybe that was why you started to grab my wrist, this time with your nails dug onto my skin, “Ouch! Stop it, you—”

Mindlessly, you threw my phone right on my face with your free hand. The phone hit my chin then bumped off the ground. For a split second I tried to dodge away from it, which caused me to tumble down.

I was startled. It didn’t hurt, at least not on my face. That never happened before.

Something about the way your chest heaved and the way you stared at me told me you were in disbelief at what yourself had done. Maybe it was seeing me slowly losing any trace of expression as I stared at you piercingly. Maybe you thought it would be better to see me cry so at least you’d know there was still a remnant of me that was anticipating your consolation.

I sat there on the ground for a while, feeling the ground beneath me trembled to the music, and all I could ever think was—funny. Because the guilt, the suffocation I had earlier on?They suddenly vanished, and was replaced by a strange feeling: annoyance. I was annoyed that the gravels hurt my knee. I was annoyed that my phone cracked. I was annoyed by the fact that instead of being on the front row of a highly anticipated show, I was here in the presence of a sorry man, at the expense of my dignity.

I picked up my phone from the ground. Dusted the gravels that had pierced through my knee and walked away.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” You yelled, trailing my steps as you broke down your pretense and I could start to sense a hollow in your patron. You had this deep and stern voice which I always loved, and I was frightened of. But honestly, who would care when all I was hearing was the blasted voice of Brandon Flowers?

“To watch the show.”

“I—” You tried to reached for my hand, but I yanked it off of me, “—didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. Please.”

There was a handful of distance between us by that moment. The band was deep into their second song now. I wanted to watch the show.

“Just watch the show with me.”

“No. We need to talk.”

“No? I’m here to watch the show. I just want to watch it—”

“NO!” You never yelled, but this time you did, although you quickly brought it down and closed the space between us, “I want to talk with you or I’m leaving.”

I thought about it for a couple of seconds, trying to locate the last damn I gave about you, “Maybe you’re not used to hearing this because I’ve always refrained from being honest with you for five fucking years. But I don’t want to. And I don’t need to do—”

“You listen to me now—”

And I just snapped, “You really need to get your shit together.”

It was almost comical to see the pride on your face seeped away, “What?!”

“You need to stop using me as your punching bag. You keep projecting your failures—”

“—you don’t matter to me.”

“—at me. You hate yourself but you’re too proud to admit it, so you put it on me—”

“—I could have had any girl but I chose you—”

“—you hate the fact that I’m doing great at my job while still having the time to like myself—”

“—you’re not pretty. I’m not even attracted to you when—”

“—I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!” I screamed. As loud as I could be. Which eventually shut him up, “I really do. You think you can use my insecurities against me? Well try again.” And alike to the stream of river that finally makes its way to the ocean, I let go of my final defense. I cried because I felt relieved, it could never get any better than this, “and this is my favorite song. I won’t let you ruin my night.”

The Killers was moving into their third song in the set-list when I finally walked away from him for the last time as they made their way into my favorite verse of the song. It says:

“Maybe a thief you stole your heart. Or maybe we drifted apart.”