#taylor swift vs. lestat

[sarahowritesostucky]

The fic: Lestat lands the Superbowl halftime show gig

November, 2024: Death Valley

Louis sprays his mouthful of blood halfway across the dinnertable when he sees the headline on his tablet:

"Lestat de Lioncourt, self-professed 'vampire', vows to 'eat one lucky fan' at his upcoming Death Valley concert."

Louis isn't able to get tickets, as they're all sold out.

He pays a scalper an exorbitant fee (like, $9,000 for a $900 ticket) and a meet and greet pass.

He attends the concert and is annoyed, amused, astounded, impressed, and completely not surprised by how ostentatious Lestat is in his performing.

There's a fucking hurdy gurdy player in the band: It's Lestat. He incorporates it in one of the songs. It is friggin metal.

He plays the electric violin in another song.

The "lucky fan" who won the contest to get eaten comes up on stage and the entire crowd watches as Lestat drinks his blood.

Everybody but Louis thinks it's a mere performance, and they cheer.

Louis just smirks and shakes his head in wry amusement at the sheer audacity of it.

Hello, Mon Cher, Louis hears in his head.

Everybody but Louis thinks the fan is faking going limp, and then being dead. Two of the tour's crew come up and carry the body off stage.

Lestat doesn't bother wiping his blood-smeared mouth before he moves onto singing his next song: Pretty Baby. The whole time, he's staring at Louis.

Louis attends the meet and greet. He and Lestat entertain themselves by pretending they don't know one another and are just groupie and idol in front of all the other fans in line for the meet and greet.

Louis takes home a glossy headshot of The Vampire Lestat, signed: To my biggest fan and favorite Fledgling, Lestat D. L.

February, 2025: the New Orleans Superdome

Lestat beats out Taylor Swift for top Spotify artist of 2024. The Swifties begin a feud with The Fledglings (Lestat's fans).

Lestat books the 2025 Superbowl halftime show gig--which is going to be played at the New Orleans indoor Superdome.

Louis purchases himself an entire box for the Superbowl--to the tune of $300,000.

Lestat uses the cloud gift and the fire gift during the show. Everybody except for Louis--and the very confused stadium staff who definitely didn't rig up a lift wire for this performance--thinks it's just an act with really good special effects.

Late, after the game and after everyone has cleared out, Lois finds Lestat in the losing team's deserted locker room --eating the star quarterback.

"Mon Chere," Lestat says, pulling back with a red chin to smile at Louis. "Care to join me? There's enough for two."

Louis snickers and tells him no thank you. "That's Taylor Swift's boyfriend," he says, amused.

"I know," Lestat says gleefully, then goes back to feeding.

"Of all the things you could've done to bring the rage of the world down upon you." Louis drawls. "The Swifties aren't going to be very happy."

Feel free to use this fic imagine if you want! And tag me in the post if you write it--I'd love to read it!

[swashbucklery]

Taylor Alison Swift did not leap from the gallows and levitate down your street so that you could assume she was rivals with number one camp messy serial killer bisexual rockstar Lestat de Lioncourt. They're shit-talking each other's ex-boyfriends over a bottle of wine right now. They're working on several dozen collaborative tracks about how much they want to murder their exes while also calling them crying at 4am. He's not Dylan Thomas. She's not Patti Smith. You get it.

[notfeelingthyaster]

lestat makes (1) song about the invisible chord (between him and louis) and swifties go crazy saying he plagiarized invisible string

[itsacruelsummerwithyou2]

rip armand you would’ve loved taylor swift getting out of a long term relationship just to drop an album about her situationship

[sincerelyyellingback]

If you're not on Team Taylor in this beef, you're a cannibal apologist 🤷‍♀️ no excuses

[saltywinteradult]

the lestat vs taylor swift feud is, and i cannot stress this enough, the funniest goddamn thing i’ve seen all week

[danielenjoyer]

One of the funniest things about the lestat vs Taylor beef is that Eric is genuinely neighbours with taylor swift

[lestatslestits]

We can’t rest until the Anne Rice Vs. Popeye’s Guy feud has been recreated in full by Lestat Vs. Taylor Swift. Those who don’t learn from history are destined to have the Twitter beef of the century. Or however the saying goes.

[ciricegh0st]

rly trying to goncharov this lestat vs taylor swift thing i hope more and more unaware people will start to feud with him god bless

[disregardcanon]

the vampire claudia would take taylor swift's side in a lestat vs taylor swift feud

[lightning-and-sparks]

what made you pick the canon coaches (Hadley, Sandy (Whitney coach), Talia, and Alzena) to appear in your fic? Was there any reason or did you just like them?

IM SO EXCITED TO ANSWER THIS.

Hadley:

So he’s the Harry Styles coach but he also gives like similar vibes to Jack Rose and kinda has this very “I’m better than you, I was the leader of the boy band” vibe that I loved. I didn’t talk about this in Thorns yet but I may as well, the real reason Jack Rose hates him is because he believes Hadley was spreading rumors around the industry that he sleeps with producers. Did Hadley say it? Maybe.

Also because they seemed like rivals and one of them stole this move from the other.

Sandy:

She’s every woman.

I’m jk, originally I had Sandy as Whitney but I just decided to change it and make it the coach’s name. I did have her aged up because idk felt like her map was way before others but it gives her a more funny and mature vibe. Hopefully, we see more Sandy and how she ended up on Eternyx.

Talia Sway:

She had a last name… no but for real, I may get some heat but I’m not a Swifty and thought I’d seek some revenge for all those private jet flights. Talia kinda screamed fake with the shifting backgrounds and again, I don’t really like Taylor Swift and I wanted pop stars pitted against each other. Taylor Swift vs Bruno Mars. Also, she has beef with the Vampire Lestat @lizards-wizards-and-magpies

Alzena:

If you didn’t know I’m such a huge Linkin Park fan. Kinda shot myself in the foot with the music aesthetic but I wanted to weave them in. Alzena is such a cool coach and looks Eternian so I wanted some solid proof to back Roland’s hate of Eternians. She’s so pretty and the map screams like liberation from someone especially, “be more like me and be less like you.” Hinting at her rejecting Dancite standards and doing what she decides. Keep your eyes peeled for Alzena ;D

Thank you so much for this ask! My inbox is always open but I try my best to get to all of them😁

[cypresssunns]

god all this taylor vs lestat nonsense reminds me of the time me and a perfect stranger struck up a pretty casual convo in line for coffee&cocoa about the music playing on the speakers (it was bad and dated as far back as like 2008, like full on blasting black eyed peas) and i mentioned i was listening to the Jungle album a lot then and they said they were into taylor swift mostly. and then they pressed to ask if i liked taylor, which i was honest and said "she isnt for me" and then this woman takes that as an affront in ways i still cannot comprehend. she starts dropping lore about her taylor swift stanning that goes back as far as her using taylor to cope through her miscarriage and a friend's suicide and basically taylor swift saved her life & i just stood there blinking for the longest 30 seconds of my life and all i remember saying is "thats cool, shes still not my vibe tho" and i walked out of there with my cocoa somehow feeling like a huge asshole. and i realize now whatever defensive coping strategy this woman was employing had nothing to do with me but real life trauma dumping on random stranger to defend your fave is like, the newest and weirdest of lows

[riverofrainbows]

I told my friend about the lestat vs taylor swift thing happening in real life, and she thought it was so funny

[orcnumber1]

Who else had Taylor Swift vs Lestat on their 2024 bingo card?

[chamaleonsoul]

Can i have links to those articles of "Lestat vs Swifties"?

hi, i don't have them saved but i'm sure if you google lestat + taylor swift they'll pop right up

[ineffag-swag]

I NEED to see screenshots of the taylor swift vs lestat war please this is so funny