#taub x foreman

[wilsonteav]

Old animation from 2023 I made (i swear to god it so shit but atleast then I were able to draw kissing old men, now i can't 😔😔)

[paceywittergayboatman]

Tell me why hugh Laurie directed the ep of house md where hospitals in lockdown and taub and foreman are high on vicodin in the like place with all the hospitals records and they basicaly imply taub sucks foremans cock

[0liverspace]

It's funny how i always end up loving the most unpopular ships. I remember being so obsessed with Taub x Foreman and being like: "wait, am i the only one on the boat?" xD

Now its happening with Chulu, make me stop

I wish those were the only examples, but there are more than 7, thats for sure.

[wilsonteav]

Taubman Shippers Community wake up 🗣️🗣️

Officially I am now a taubman truther. No fucking way they’re high on Vicodin and chasing each other down the hallways giggling like school girls… fucking hell. They’re bonding. Being adorable and shit. Goddammit.

[graciepoetsociety]

this is THE single gayest lineup i have ever seen in my life and of course it’s from house md

[glossglamour]

GUYS .

(source)

[sideblog-9000]

Yes house md is technically a medical drama, but I think of it more as a sickeningly good drama, set in a hospital LMAO

[false-heteros16]

YES EVERYONE… I MEAN EVERYONE on house’s team is neurodivergent.

[housesredlollipop]

house md character as quotes my friends said

House

“nn s dce frocio”

“you can’t say faggot” (said by hetero? guy)

“joe biden and donald trump french kiss yaoi hidden love”

“I NEED TO PLAY AROUND WITH SOME MEN”

Wilson

“io chiudo la porta anche se sono solo (devo tenere fuori i mostri del buio)”

“i close the door even if I'm alone (i have to keep the monsters of the dark out)” (talking about peeing in the middle of night)

“charisma and lack of special awarness which actually makes it look like you’re confident”

Cuddy

“mia nonna madre gaslighting queen”

“my mother gaslighting queen”

-Fa caggare il cazzo

“ESATTO! VIVA LA VAGINA”

Cameron: Dicks suck

“EXACTLY! LONG LIVE VAGINA”

Cameron

“Love quando le cose nazionali sono lgbt friendly”

“Love when national things are lgbt friendly” (edit of those french and polish politician)

“vasco house indosserebbe le scarpe da ginnastica a ognuno dei nostri funerali”

“house would wear sneakers to every one of our funerals”

Foreman

“Che sono pazzi e si credono fighi perché hanno la luce elettrica”

“They are crazy and think they're cool because they have electric lights” (talking about positivismo)

“Giulka Cameron ha aperto un sito porno per la prima volta e si è fidata delle pubblicità”

“Cameron opened a porn site for the first time and trusted the ads” (she saw penis growing cream ads)

Chase

“Bo comunque cazzo pisello palle zucchina zucca pelata patata”

“Bo anyway fuck dick balls courgette peeled pumpkin potato”

Eric: 5 cm taller but you still breath FART AIR

“i’ll fart in your mouth”

13

“Maybe women didnt like leopardi but maybe a twink on tinder would”

“Cami House i need you to kill me”

Taub

“Comunque siete solo degli haters perché io non diventerò pelato”

“Anyway you're just haters because I won't go bald” (is balding)

“quando jovi kutner mi dice “io dormo con white noise” e poi partono i peti più forti che tu abbia mai sentito in vita tua”

“when kutner tells me “i sleep with white noise” and then the loudest farts you've ever heard in your life start”

Kutner

“grazie pupe siete le mie troione da battaglia”

“thank you babes, you are my battle sluts”

“RE GALLINO CANTA DURANTE LA NOTTE U U U”

“KING ROOSTER SINGS DURING THE NIGHT U U U”

[shortnailsforfuntimes]

house md fic! its a case fic with not so secret hilson!

please please kudos please

[wilsonteav]

My dads. My beloved husbands. 🥰🥰

[wipbigbang]

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[malpractice-husbands]

Taub could be such a nice husband for foreman if he wasn't so homophobic 😭

[bronzeagepizzeria]

just finished s7e15 bombshells. i do not want to watch the rest of this dumbass show lmao

[envihellbender]

Saw x House teehee

Rating: Mature

Fandom: House MD x Saw

Characters: Greg House, Eric Foreman, Remy “Thirteen” Hadley, Chris Taub, Lawrence Kutner, John Kramer (voice).

Content: Crossover, horror, comedic, House’s trapped in a Saw Trap, Jigsaw hates doctors

—

“Derek Prentiss, came stumbling into the ER last night complaining of pain in his chest, then passed out,” Kutner said reading from the chart that he’d picked up from the end of the patient’s bed. For some reason House had dragged them all here, called it a ‘hunch’.

“Sounds like a typical heart attack, or any cardiac incident, House why are we here?” Foreman asked, vocalising what they were all thinking. The five of them were all stood around the bed of this unremarkable looking middle aged man, House was stood at the end of his bed studying him as the others all looked nonplussed at their boss and each other.

“And why is Foreman wrong, Kutner?” House said, not looking away from the man on the bed in front of him.

“ECG is normal, blood pressure is raised but not too much, nothing that would cause this,” Kutner answered. Thirteen looked over his shoulder to read the chart.

“His blood oxygen is low though,”

“That explains the issue with the patient but does not explain the bigger elephant in the room,” Taub pointed out. “Which is, House why are you so interested in this?

“Is anyone going to actually inspect the patient?” House asked incredulously. He marched over to Derek Prentiss’s side, and pointed at the man’s chest. “What is this?”

The four doctors all gathered around where House was pointing, in the middle of the man’s abdomen was a strange lump. It was rectangular, for one thing, the edges were bizarrely straight and it was visible even through the man’s hospital gown.

“I- erm- well, a contusion or-” Thirteen stammered, she was interrupted by House as he pushed his fingers down onto the bulge in the patient’s abdomen. There was a strange, hard plastic sensation beneath them. When he did it their unconscious patient whimpered and groaned in his sleep.

“Well, that’s weird,” House said simply,

“Could be a tumour-” Foreman suggested.

“I don’t think so. Let’s open him up,” House interrupted again.

“What? Why?” Taub asked baffled. “It could be anything-”

“Because it’ll be fun,” House interjected a third time. “It’s wacky Friday. Also I’m your boss. Open it up. Let’s see what we’re working with.”

“We’re gonna need more than-” Foreman began. This time when House interrupted he raised his voice.

“Look, it’s a visible rectangle, it lets out a tapping noise when you press down on it, does that sound like an tumour you’ve ever seen?”

“It’s hard-” Kutner began.

“Yeah, because it’s not naturally occurring within the human body.” House exhaled in irritation as he looked at each of his employees in turn. “I’ll tell you what.” He opened his wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill. He then grabbed Thirteen’s doctor’s pad, tore off a piece of paper, and wrote something down on it. He put the paper upside down on the table in front of him with ten dollars on top all held down by Thirteen’s doctor’s pad. “If I’m wrong, Foreman, you get ten bucks, if I’m right you complete all of my clinic hours. Open him up.”

—

Barely an hour later the team were in House’s office, stood opposite his desk as he had his feet up and was drinking through a milkshake.

“So, here to tell me about how many clinic hours I have left, Foreman?” House asked, he was met with one simple, silent response. A cassette tape placed down on the doctor’s desk that said on it in black felt tip pen ‘Gregory House’. “So is this a mixtape or-”

“We cut it out of the patient.”

“Huh. Okay, that’s… Well,” House paused before he pushed his chair back and out of his drawer he pulled out a battered, barely used dictaphone. “Let’s see what the patient has to say to me. Is there any update on them, by the way?”

“The tape was surgically attached to his lungs, once that was taken out there was a gaping hole in them and nothing we could do to fix it,” Foreman explained, visibly perturbed and perhaps even a little frightened.

“Well, shit. You cleaned this, right?” House asked before he picked it up.

“It was in plastic so-” Foreman’s response went unfinished, all five doctors were tensed and not wanting to push the matter further, even if they had to. They had all seen the news and heard the stories, it was as if they were waiting for someone me to yell “psych!” or come up with another explanation.

“Huh, neat,” House eventually and reluctantly said. He opened the cassette case and put the tape into his dictaphone. As soon as it began to play his shoulders tightened and the contents of his stomach turned to ice.

“Hello Doctor Gregory House,” a distorted unfamiliar voice said. “I’d like to play a game.” There was a pause, the silence only filled with a cracking that could have been the tape or dictaphone.

“We should call the police,” Thirteen said quickly before anyone else could.

“Shhhh,” House responded with a finger to his lips.

“Doctor House, or may I call you Gregory? I’ve heard you’re fond of games and thus I have one for you. You spent so long treating patient care and those you meet as puzzles and toys so I thought you’d make a great challenger.” It was as if the man speaking on the tape was in the room with them. He’d managed to create an intense silence where not even a breath could be heard. “In this hospital there are six patients, or victims, whatever you like. You have 24 hours to find them, and cure them, before the explosives hidden in your stomach take out and whoever happens to be around you at the time. Good luck.” There was a click, and the familiar noise of a tape finishing. No one spoke for a moment.

“That… that has to be a joke, right?” Taub eventually asked hopefully. No one even bothered to argue, they hoped someone would answer with a good explanation as to why it was.

“Unlikely,” House eventually replied reluctantly and far more serious than he had been all day. “It’d explain why my stomachs been feeling like Pete Townsend is smashing up his fender in it and why I have no idea what the hell happened last night.”

“You were probably doped up on Vicodin and now have an intense hangover,” Kutner replied as he attempted to break the tension.

“Evidence seems to suggest otherwise,” House sighed, his icy stare fixed on the cassette tape. “Get me a list of every patient diagnosed with any form of cancer in the hospital.”

“Why-”

“Don’t you watch the news? The Jigsaw killer obviously has some form of terminal cancer. Jeez, Thirteen.”

“Yeah, obviously, Thirteen,” Kutner joked before they left the room, none of them looking graver than House, who’s gaze didn’t leave the tape, not even for the Vicodin bottle in his hand.