"A Family Weekend" - A Future Wenclair Family Comedy Adventure Tale
Story Summary: On the day before Wednesday and Enid's children turn eighteen, the family cat is accused of some wrong doing; which results in the most wacky and insane adventure for the Wenclair Family yet!
Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair. They were a duo that shouldn't have worked... but they did... and somehow their relationship resulted in marriage. Now, Wednesday and Enid work at their old school: Nevermore Academy as teachers, raising up an entire new generation; including their own twin seventeen year old daughters: Harmony and Ana. Harmony, who carries both of her mother's special abilities, continues to grow and explore the world with her girlfriend (and now fiancé) Megan. Ana meanwhile is a different story. Today we explore what the entire Addams Family is up to just one day before all of our teenage characters turn eighteen years old... and just one week before the planned date for Harmony and Megan's wedding...
"A Family Weekend"
Written by: "Fun But Shy Girl"
Story by: "Shadow From The Past"
One Saturday morning, Wednesday was in her living quarters at Nevermore Academy eagerly pounding away at her typewriter while writing a novel. However her typing was soon interrupted by Enid walking into room as she said, "Howdy roomy." As Wednesday kept her eyes fixed on her type writer, she said, "Enid, I am attempting to finish my latest novel; and you know how I value my writing time on Saturdays." Then Enid lovingly put her hands on Wednesday's shoulders as she said, "I know... but... tonight is Family Movie Night! I know we postponed it twice already now, but I really wanna make sure we don't back out tonight. Harmony and Ana turn eighteen tomorrow, and I want us to spend their last night as our little girls watching a movie with us like we've always done once every year. Which means... no feigning illnesses, no setting loose tarantulas all over the room, and no claiming you have some demons to go fight... again. Family Movie Night is about family!" Wednesday then turned to look at Enid, and immediately saw her wife's pleading eyes.
Wednesday rolled her own eyes, sighed, and then said, "Very well Enid. As we negotiated during our first year of marriage, I shall honor my commitment to watch one non-holiday related film of your choosing from start to finish during the month of our children's birth." Then Enid moved her mouth near Wednesday's ear as she said, "And just a little reminder... that means no criticizing the movie in any way, no repulsive comments on how emotions in the film are conveyed, and no complaints about the seemingly long run time. Understood?" Wednesday then glared at Enid as she said, "Can I at least know what the name of the film that shall torture me is ahead of time?" Then a grinning Enid said, "No Wens-babe. Not knowing what the film is ahead of time is part of the fun!" Then a smiling Enid skipped out of the room, while an angry looking Wednesday turned to look at her type writer once more.
***
In the student restaurant at Nevermore Academy: Harmony and Megan were sitting at a table with Megan's parents: Max and Alisha. As Alisha was glancing at her phone, she said, "So as of now, the forecast for your outdoor wedding is looking like clear skies. However if the weather does become bad, we already have the nearby rec center booked out." A smiling Harmony looked grateful as she said, "Thank you Mister and Mrs Zimmerman. I don't think I can show enough gratitude to you both for paying for this wedding ceremony." Max smiled as he said, "Harmony, you're about be our daughter in law. Feel free to start calling us mom and dad. We're family now, and we're happy to help. Besides, I may be unfamiliar with the traditions of werewolf unions, and I have no idea what the traditional Addams Family Mamushka Dance is... but I insist you allow me to carry out my family's tradition of the father of the beautiful bride covering any costs for a wedding." Then Alisha interrupted Max as she said, "Actually Max, I told Wednesday and Enid they can cover the costs of 15th century swords and ancient werewolf talismans... especially since I didn't even know where to look for things like that on eBay."
Megan smiled as she said, "The point is it sounds like we're just about ready for our wedding now... although we still haven't picked out a wedding song for our first dance at the reception." Then just as Ana came over to refill everyone's drinks, she said, "You do know Lady Gaga makes the best wedding music, right? Bloody Mary would be a perfect song for you both. I mean the internet somehow already decided that particular song works perfect whenever members of our family rock their best moves." Harmony glared at Ana as she said, "Ana, we are not doing Lady Gaga music at our wedding!" Ana rolled her eyes as she said, "Fine. Your loss. I'll just enjoy dancing to it alone with Gerard after we go haunt some counterfeit money operators we plan to take down next Monday. " A curious Harmony then asked, "Who is this Gerard you keep mentioning?" Ana suddenly had a panicked face as she yelled, "I don't have a crush on him!" Everyone then turned to look at Ana with confused faces. Ana suddenly looked very nervous as she said, "Umm... I'm gonna go see how Stormageddon the Conqueror is doing in the kitchen."
Then as Ana headed to the kitchen, Megan's brother Edward walked over to the group as he said, "You like paaaancakes!?" Alisha smiled as she said, "They were actually incredibly delicious son. Thank you." Then as Max began to stand up, he said, "Well, we have to go take Edward to meet with his inclusion specialist now. We'll see you all later." Max, Alisha, and Edward then left the school restaurant, while Harmony and Megan waved to them. A smiling Harmony then looked at Megan as she said, "Your brother is such a sweet guy. I feel bad that once we get married and graduate from here, we won't get to spend as much time with him." Then Megan causally said, "Well we'll likely have him around a lot more once my parents get too old to take care of him." Harmony quickly looked caught off guard as she said, "What!? Edward is gonna move in with us?" Megan looked a bit confused as she said, "I mean... obviously not right away, but... he's my brother. Once my parents get too old, it'll be up to us to look after him."
Harmony looked a bit worried as she said, "Megan, I... I like your brother, but... I just didn't think I'd be caring for him in my own home one day." Megan closed her eyes, sighed, and then looked at Harmony as she said, "It's my fault I didn't even think about bringing up Edward in our premarital counseling sessions. Look... I know there's lots of programs out there that help adults with disabilities in very comfortable accommodation settings... but I don't want my brother being taken care of by strangers. I want him to always be in the company of family. Look... my parents are still gonna look after Edward for a long time... so can we take some time to think about this and discuss it later?" Harmony took a deep breath... and then nodded her head as she said, "Okay."
Then Ana suddenly walked over to the two, while her cat was sitting on her shoulder. An excited Ana then said, "Guys. You need to try the new chocolate pancakes Stormageddon the Conqueror just made! They're made completely out of chocolate!" Then a confused Megan asked, "If they're made completely out of chocolate... wouldn't they just be... chocolate?" Then a nervous Ana put a finger near her mouth as she said, "Shhh! Don't let the government know about that! If the truth gets out, they'll cover our secret like the Roswell conspiracy! Oh, by the way Harmony - a letter just came for you in the mail." Ana then handed Harmony a letter. Harmony's eyes immediately widened as she said, "Oh my God! This must be my acceptance letter to Jordan University. After Megan got hers weeks ago, I was wondering what happened to mine." As an excited Harmony opened her letter, a smiling Megan said, "Oh boy. Once you're in babe, we are immediately going to pick out the best couples dorm on campus to live in."
Then as Harmony looked at her letter... her face immediately looked down as she said, "I didn't get in. I mean... they say I'm on the wait list, but... how did this happen?" Then a frustrated Megan said, "How could they not let you in!? I mean... you're a genius!" Then Ana nodded her head as she casually said, "Yeah. I mean you and Megan used to build giant robots before doing the strange and unexplainable became monopolized by me and Stormageddon the Conqueror. There's no good season why they shouldn't have let you in." Megan looked at Harmony with a determined look in her eyes as she said, "You totally need to meet with the admissions officer in person and make them see you are totally Jordan University material!" A disappointed looking Harmony then said, "Yeah, but it could take weeks to make an appointment." Then Ana quickly began texting on her phone as she said, "Actually... I just got you an appointment this afternoon!" A wide eyed Harmony looked at her sister with amazement as she said, "Seriously!? How did you pull that off!?" Then Ana casually said, "Oh. Stormageddon the Conqueror is on the Jordan University Board of Directors."
A very confused Megan then said, "Hold on! How can your cat be on the board of directors of the biggest university in our state?" Ana continued to sound casual as she said, "He made a record size contribution to the school, which allowed him immediate special privileges... including ensuring that a class on the history of feline worship is a mandatory course for individuals in every major. But regardless, you better get prepared for that interview Harmony." Harmony immediately jumped up and hugged Ana as she said, "Thanks sis." Then Harmony quickly gave Ana's cat a quick kiss on the cheek as she said, "And thank you Stormageddon the Conqueror." Then as Harmony quickly rushed out of the restaurant, an impressed Megan said, "Well I gotta say Ana... you have a pretty amazing cat there." Then as a happy Ana stroked her cat, she smiled while saying, "Aw, yeah. Everyone loves Stormageddon the Conqueror."
Then suddenly a female voice filled the restaurant yelling, "There's the cat we hate!" Ana turned her head with a confused face, as she saw a blonde woman in her late 30's (wearing a long dress and stockings) carrying a box into the restaurant. A confused Ana then asked, "Can I help you ma'am?" The blonde woman pointed at Ana's cat as she yelled, "Oh, you can help all right! Help explain the terrible crime your cat committed upon my family!" Just as the blonde woman finished saying her last sentence - Wednesday and Enid walked into the restaurant looking confused and concerned. The two then approached the blonde woman as Enid said, "Ma'am, if you have a problem with our daughter and her cat, your problem is also with us." Wednesday then calmly looked at the woman as she said, "Please state your name and issue." The blonde woman glared directly at Wednesday as she said, "You may call me Mrs Weiss... and my issue is this!" The blonde woman then opened up her box, and showed a female mother cat with many kittens laying near it. An excited Enid immediately had her face light up as she said, "Aww! They're so cute!" Mrs Weiss then looked angry as she said, "Yeah! I'm sure they look cute to you all... and quite familiar... because the one who violated Miss Whiskers here, and the one who is the father to these kittens... is Stormageddon the Conqueror!" A very startled Ana then yelled, "What!?" Ana's cat meanwhile had his eyes widen as he yelled, "Rowr!?"
Mrs Weiss then pointed at Ana's cat as she said, "I've seen your cat hanging around my place before flirting with Miss Whiskers! But when Miss Whiskers rejected your cat's advances, he forced her into early motherhood! For his crime, I demand restitution from your family!" Ana then glanced at her cat as she said, "You know anything about this Stormageddon the Conqueror?" Ana's cat quickly turned his head back and forth as he said, "Rowr." Ana then glared at Mrs Weiss while she said, "Stormagedon the Conqueror doesn't even know Miss Whiskers! Where's your proof!?" Mrs Weiss held up several photographs as she said, "What proof do you need!? The kittens look just like your cat! They only need mini hats to look the same! Plus, I've got photos of your cat running through my backyard!" Then Ana angerly yelled, "Stormageddon the Conqueror takes short cuts through lots of people's backyards during his daily runs!"
Mrs Weiss looked more angry than ever now as she yelled, "No more excuses! I'm gonna bleed your family dry in court until you finally give Miss Whiskers all she's due in both child support and the lifelong therapy sessions she'll need after the violation she endured! I demand restitution this very weekend!" Then Enid stepped forward as she said, "Mrs Weiss, lets please be reasonable. As much we all seem to love our respective pets... I don't think any major court is going to take a case related to feline parentage... and especially not on a weekend." Then a reluctant Megan raised up her hand, and then slowly said, "Well... I don't know if I should be recommending this... but I think I do know of an establishment that could solve your dispute very quickly..."
***
Harmony sat in an admissions office (wearing well dressed clothes) while facing a well dressed man who had black hair and glasses on his head. As Harmony sat slightly nervous (but still excited), she said, "Thank you so much for meeting with me today Mister Glicker." The admissions officer: Mister Glicker remained calm, but looked mildly unimpressed as he said, "Well, it would seem I have orders from above to give your application a more thorough review. Now then... I see you're currently obtaining your final high school credits at Nevermore Academy. That's the renowned school for outcasts, is it not?" Harmony quickly nodded her head as she said, "Yes... and there are normies attending there as well now. It's become all inclusive in recent years." Mister Glicker then glared at Harmony as he said, "Yes, well even with that being said, Nevermore Academy still is infamous for admitting anyone that identifies as different. However at this school we only accept students that wish to succeed! As a professor myself, I can say without a doubt the most disheartening thing I experienced in the role of educator is wasting my time teaching students that don't take their education seriously." Harmony then quickly said, "Oh, I take my education incredibly seriously sir."
Mister Glicker then leaned back in his chair slightly, while looking at a piece of paper as he said, "Is it your education you take seriously? I see someone you know has already put your name down on the application for one of the couples dorms. Her name is Megan Zimmerman, and she lists your name as her soon to be wife." Harmony began to look more nervous as she said, "Well, yes my fiance did apply to this school as well, and got in... but I assure you I was planning to attend here long before I made any plans of marriage." Mister Glicker put his paperwork down as he said, "Well even if this school did let you in, we would like to know if you understand the risk that your new marriage may pose to your studies' as it may act as a distraction, or may pose a hindrance to both your relationship and studies." Harmony had a determined look in her eyes as she said, "My two mothers got married young as well, and they were able to start up both a business and a family at the same time, and they did it with a lot less money in the bank at the beginning. However they both grew their business, and saved up lots of money so that I could afford to go to college, expand my mind, and look for opportunities they maybe couldn't have had. And thanks to them, my entire family is now only seen in an incredibly respectable light by highly respectable members of the community at large!"
***
A middle aged man stood in front of a large TV studio audience as he said, "Everyone, lets welcome the Addams Family to the Gary Sprinovich Show!" Then as Wednesday and Ana (with her cat on her shoulder) walked into the large TV studio, a large crowd of young adults in the audience immediately began yelling, "Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!" As Wednesday walked over to her chair on stage, she looked incredibly uncomfortable and angry. Ana meanwhile looked very confidant as she sat down in a chair with her cat. On the other side of the stage, Mrs Weiss sat holding her own cat. As the audience settled down, the male host: Gary looked at the audience while saying, "Welcome back to another special episode of our On the Road Tour. So for those that are just joining in: Mrs Weiss here has a cat named Miss Whiskers, who just gave birth to a litter of kittens." On a TV screen nearby, video footage was shown of the baby kittens. The entire audience immediately said, "Awwwww." Then Gary looked directly at the audience as he said, "But according to Mrs Weiss, the father of these kittens is Stormageddon the Conqueror, who denies ever even knowing Miss Whiskers. So Mrs Weiss, tell us your side of the story."
Mrs Weiss looked very calm while looking at Gary as she said, "Well Gary, I saw Stormageddon the Conqueror pushing some very special catnip into my yard one day, if you know what I'm saying; hoping my little Miss Whiskers would start sniffing it... and when she did, that crazy male cat forced Miss Whiskers into some feline five minutes of heaven deal, and then bailed on taking responsibility for his offspring." Then an angry Ana yelled, "That is not true! Stormageddon the Conqueror is not some kind of player. He's a respectable business leader, philanthropist, music star, five star chef, and respected consultant with both the CIA and FBI! He is no player. However what this women is doing here is try to play the system and get some serious money from my family! Everyone knows my mom: Wednesday Addams here is loaded. You think this is the first time someone has tried to advantage of our family!" Gary then looked at Wednesday as he said, "Now Mrs Addams, thanks to the Netflix series based on your life, it is common knowledge now that you've made many enemies that have tried to harm you in your life. Do you think Mrs Weiss may secretly be attempting to be yet another in a long line of people attempting to hurt you and your family?"
Wednesday then glared directly at a nearby TV camera as she said, "Gary, I have been nearly killed by demons, came close to being transformed into a zombie, was nearly defeated by an army of sirens and lizard creatures, had my life almost taken by a dark alternate universe version of myself... and yet, the only true enemy I see to all humanity is you and this tabloid trash program I have regretfully put myself on." Gary chuckled, and then smiled to the camera as he said, "Guilty as charged." The audience of young adults all laughed loudly, and then began excitedly chanting, "Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary!" Meanwhile at the front of the audience, Enid and Megan sat together. Enid then glanced at Megan as she said, "You actually thought this would be a good idea!?" Megan looked guilty as she said, "His show always gets results. I'm sorry."
Meanwhile on stage, Mrs Weiss began putting on tears as she said, "I'm not here to be a bad woman. I'm a kind gentle lady who has an American flag planted firmly on her lawn, who always stands for the national anthem, believes in free speech, loves apple pie, and keeps a pocket copy of the US constitution in her purse at all times." The entire audience then immediately said, "Awwww." Ana made an angry look as she said, "Are you all crazy people!? Are you seriously showing us that all someone has to do is yell about how they love America, and suddenly almost no one believes they've ever committed a crime!?" Wednesday then leaned over to Ana as she quietly said, "Welcome to the senseless world of adulthood Ana."
Then Gary walked closer to the ladies as he said, "Now Ana, I'm sure it must be rough for you to have a cat so young suddenly become a parent." Then Ana casually said, "Oh, Stormageddon the Conqueror isn't as young as he looks. I simply give him cute pills that I obtained from the Secret Mystical Caves of Minnesota to keep him looking youthful and adorable." Gary then sat near Ana as he said, "Regardless... lets be completely honest here... are you not telling me your cat doesn't remotely look like Miss Whisker's kittens?" The nearby TV screen now showed a close up image of Ana's cat, next to an image of the kittens. An angry Mrs Weiss then pointed to the screen as she said, "Look at the noses! Look at the fur! Those are his kittens I tell you! His kittens!" Then Gary looked directly at Ana's cat as he said, "Now Stormageddon the Conqueror, you still claim you're not the father. Is that correct?" Ana's cat nodded his head while saying, "Rowr."
Then Gary tried to sound casual as he said, "Now I hear you actually have a steady girlfriend right now named Princess Snuggles. So if our DNA test reveals you are the father to Miss Whiskers' kittens, how do you think your girlfriend would feel?" Ana's cat then tilted his head down slightly as he nervously said, "Rowr." Then Gary made a little smile as he said, "Well Stormageddon the Conqueror, what would you say if I told you that your girlfriend: Princess Snuggles was backstage right now!?" Then Ana's cat suddenly looked worried as he said, "Rowr!?" Then a very nervous Ana said, "Hold on! You didn't tell us about this!" Then video footage appeared on the nearby TV screen of a white female cat standing backstage. Then Gary held out his arm as he said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Princess Snuggles!"
Then the white cat: Princess Snuggles walked onto the stage, as most of the young adult audience jumped out of their seats and yelled, "Ooooohhhhhhhh!" Then the other female cat: Miss Whiskers jumped off Mrs Weiss' lap and stood on the stage. Princess Snuggles then angerly looked at Miss Whiskers as she yelled, "Rowr! Rowr!" Then Miss Whiskers turned her body to the side and calmly said, "Meow, meow. Meow, meooooow." Then Princess Snuggles immediately yelled, "ROWR!" Then Princess Snuggles immediately jumped at Miss Whiskers with her claws out. Miss Whiskers fought back, and soon both female felines were fighting each other across the stage. As security guards ran onto the stage trying to get between the two female cats, Ana looked worried while she yelled, "Stop it you two!" Wednesday meanwhile just looked disgusted as she turned her head away. However the young adult audience looked extremely excited, as they all started jumping up and down as they screamed, "GARY! GARY! GARY! GARY! GARY!" Then Gary simply turned to looked at the camera, smiling as he said, "Well how about that folks!? A real cat fight on our show! We'll come back to see how these crazy cats work things out... after the break."
***
Harmony was sitting in the admission office as she was still nervously facing Mister Glicker. Mister Glicker then glared at Harmony as she said, "I must say Harmony, you're checking all the boxes of what a student is supposed to say in these interviews... but I've also heard plenty of other students say the same thing. It's all phony talk they don't actually mean. For years now I've encountered overconfident students that think they can take on any challenge life has for them. However as soon as classes really begin, reality comes crashing down on them, and I have students in my office crying over the fact that they're failing every course they're in. What makes you different than all the other lazy dreamers I've encountered before?"
Harmony took a deep breath, and then looked directly at Mister Glicker's face as she said, "Sir... I can understand your reluctance to what might happen if I attend your college. It's obvious you see me as a wild card. You fear I may be someone trying to skate in on the title of equal opportunity, or just wanna play house in college. However, I ask you not to judge me based on fears and assumptions, but rather on what I vow I will do as a student here. I understand that in college, I will have to fend for myself as many unexpected challenges come my way. Yes, I will be married by the time I start classes here. However my wife will be busy being a student as well. Each of us will be enrolling in different majors. So we'll both be on different paths in which we will have to figure out unique solutions to unique difficulties all on our own. But I promise I will work as hard as possible to always work smarter and not harder at every challenge that comes my way. To quote my mother, Wednesday Addams: Instead of cutting off the hydra's head and having it attack you with two others, sometimes you have to try to strangle it little by little to truly defeat it."
Mister Glicker then looked surprised as he said, "Wait a minute. I thought the last name was just a coincidence, but... is your mother the Wednesday Addams?" Harmony looked a bit surprised herself as she said, "Yes. Is that a problem?" Mister Glicker smiled as he said, "Well, actually..." Then suddenly the two heard loud chanting through the walls. A confused Harmony then asked, "What's going on?" Mister Glicker groaned, and then said, "They rent out the school auditorium to just about anyone these days, and sometimes our guests forget this is still an operating school on Saturdays. Excuse me for a minute as I tell the people renting our space to quiet down a bit." Mister Glicker then left the room as a curious Harmony followed him.
***
In the TV studio, Gary looked at the TV camera as he said, "Welcome back folks. Now before we went to commercial break, Stormageddon the Conqueror's girlfriend: Princess Snuggles, and Stormageddon the Conqueror's alleged mistress: Miss Whiskers got into a tussle. Now, everyone has agreed to calm down until we give the DNA results. Now Stormageddon the Conqueror, if it is proven you are the father of these kittens, will you and your family promise to help give whatever money they need to be well taken car of?" Ana's cat closed his eyes, and then silently nodded his head. Ana meanwhile just sighed, and calmly said, "Whatever." Then Gary looked at Mrs Weiss as he said, "And Mrs Weiss... if Stormageddon the Conqueror is not the father, will your promise to let this controversy go?" Mrs Weiss sighed, and then said, "I suppose." Gary then opened up an envelope, and looked at a paper in it as he said, "Now then, according to our DNA test... in the case of Miss Whisker's litter of kittens... Stormageddon the Conqueror... you are not the father."
The entire young adult audience immediately yelled, "Ooooohhhh!" Mrs Weiss meanwhile looked angry as she yelled, "What!?" Ana at the same moment: jumped out of her seat and began to dance as she excitedly yelled, "I told you! Yeah! Whoomp! There it is! Whoomp! There it is!" Then Ana immediately began break dancing, twerking, and doing flips on the stage... while Wednesday turned her head away in shame. Mrs Weiss then angerly stood up as she screamed, "Arrgh! How dare that idiot guy at the DNA lab not falsify the results like I told him to!? How much does a woman have to bribe someone to get things her way!?" Everyone immediately began to quiet down, as a suddenly more concerned Wednesday said, "What did you say?" Mrs Weiss then looked furious as she said, "Errgh. After all these years I was finally going to get my revenge on the Addams Family by dragging their name into scandal, and draining their family's fortune in cat related bills. But instead, I have to settle for my backup plan!"
Then Miss Whiskers and her many kittens stood near Mrs Weiss as they began to loudly hiss. Mrs Weiss then yelled, "I call upon the ancient demon: Ahpuch, whom I sold my soul to! Transform your hell beasts into their true form to do my bidding!" Then Miss Whiskers and her kittens began to glow a dark red color. Then in an instant, all of Mrs Weiss' cats transformed into large red lions with fangs. Many members of the audience screamed and began to run away in terror. However Gary just smiled as he walked over to the lion beasts while excitedly saying, "My God, my ratings are about to go through the roof!" Then one of the lion beasts quickly pounced on Gary... and immediately began to eat him (with Gary screaming as he was eaten alive). Meanwhile Harmony and Mister Glicker walked into the room through a nearby door and immediately saw what was going on. Mister Glicker's eyes widened as he said, "I heard a TV show was going to use our school auditorium for something crazy this weekend... but nothing like this." Then a worried Harmony said, "Hold on. That's my family over there."
Meanwhile a confused Wednesday stood up, and glared at Mrs Weiss as she said, "Why are you doing this Mrs Weiss!? What did my family do to you?" Mrs Weiss glared at Wednesday as she said, "It's what you specifically did to me all those years ago that started this Wednesday Addams! You see Weiss is the name I took on when I married my late husband. However you knew me years ago under a different name... for I am your old mortal enemy... Amanda Buckman!"
Ana instantly gasped as she said, "Oh my gosh! She's... someone I don't recognize or know of." Wednesday looked very confused as she said, "Nor do I." The blonde woman: Amanda, looked angry as she said, "What do you mean you don't remember me!? You only ruined my childhood! Do I have to go through a series of flashbacks to remind you how you destroyed my life all those years ago Wednesday Addams!?" Then Ana raised her hand as she said, "Yes please!" Amanda rolled her eyes, and then said, "Well... it was over 25 years ago at Camp Chippewa..."
*Flashbacks to Long Ago:
Young Wednesday Addams was standing with her family on the first day of camp. A young Amanda walked over to Wednesday as she said, "Hi. I'm Amanda Buckman. Why are you dressed like that?" Wednesday glared at Amanda as she said, "Like what?" Then Amanda looked confused as she said, "Like you're going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?" Wednesday had a deadly look in her eyes as she said, "Wait."
Days later during swimming lessons, the camp counselor looked at the campers as they said, "Now who wants to pretend to be the drowning victim, and who wants to be the life saver?" Amanda then excitedly said, "I'll be the victim!" Wednesday rolled her eyes as she said, "All your life." Amanda however kept a happy face on as she said, "I'm gonna be an actress." The camp counselor then said, "Brava! Now Amanda, jump in, swim out a few yards, and start drowning." Amanda then jumped into the water, and quickly began to pretend she was drowning as she said, "Help me! Help me! I'm drowning! Help me! I'm dying!" Then Amanda went under the water as a deadpan Wednesday said, "I can't swim." Then everyone began to get worried as Amanda disappeared under the water, and only bubbles could be seen coming up.
At the end of the camp season, the campers were performing a Thanksgiving play. As Wednesday stood on stage dressed as a Native American, she looked at Amanda and the other popular girls at camp (dressed as Pilgrims) while saying, "You have taken the land that is rightfully ours! Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts." As the camp counselors tried to stop what Wednesday was doing, an angry Wednesday proclaimed, "The Gods of my tribe have spoken! They have said do no trust the Pilgrims... especially Sarah Miller." Then Wednesday turned to look right at Amanda in character as she said, "And for all these reasons, I have decided to scalp you, and burn your village to the ground." Suddenly many other campers joined Wednesday in attacking Amanda and her friends on stage, along with wreaking havoc on the camp. As fire was set to the stage, Amanda was tied to a wooden stake by Wednesday's allies, and even had an apple shoved in her mouth (while gasoline was poured near her feet). The adults could do nothing though as many campers shot arrows of fire at them (along with many other dangerous pranks). Then as fire and screaming surrounded her, Wednesday casually walked towards the tied up Amanda with a very calm face. Then as Amanda tried to scream through the apple in her mouth, Wednesday pulled out a match that was tucked in her hair, lit the match, held the match between her fingers for a moment as she smiled... and then threw the match at Amanda's feet.
In the present, adult Amanda yelled, "I got third degree burns on my legs, which destroyed any dreams I had to be a swimsuit model! Not that I'd want to get near the water anyway after nearly drowning because of you! Thanks to that traumatic event, I can never go to beaches or lakes or pools again! And when I went back to school right after camp ended, people found out I was wearing a wig after you scalped me, and I never recovered from that humiliation! From there, I lost all confidence in myself and lost every opportunity to find success. My entire life was ruined because you decided to make me your mortal enemy that summer!" Wednesday then looked at Amanda with a confused face as she said, "Honestly... I don't remember any of that. I've tortured more people that I've found repulsive than I can count. It's not that I doubt your claims. However the events you describe from our shared experience seem far too insignificant for my childhood mind to remember." Then tears of anger filled Amanda's face as she screamed, "I was too insignificant for you to remember!? Well, you'll certainly remember me now... when you spend the rest of your life burning in hell knowing I sent you there! Attack them my beasts!"
Amanda motioned to her multiple red lion beasts. The lion beasts then ran at Wednesday and Ana with their fangs out... but then suddenly Enid and Harmony (in werewolf form) jumped onto the stage and punched several of the lion beasts to the ground. They were immediately followed by Megan who fired an arrow from a crossbow at another beast. Wednesday and Ana then each took out swords they had been hiding behind their backs, while a glaring Wednesday said, "You may have wild beasts from hell, but I have something far more dangerous and deadly... my family!" Amanda looked angry as she yelled, "Get up my beasts!" Then as Wednesday, Enid, Harmony, Ana, and Megan stood together; Wednesday calmly said, "I've read of these beasts. They are simply phantoms from hell with no soul. They were never alive... so feel no inclination to hold back."
Then as Amanda stood tall and proud she yelled, "You cannot defeat my creatures that easily Wednesday Addams! These beasts are the former pets of Lucifer himself. There is no way you and your pathetic clan can stop..." However Amanda stopped talking as she suddenly realized Wednesday, Enid, Harmony, Ana, and Megan were already attacking her beasts... and within seconds the attacks of swords, claws, and arrows instantly caused all of the lion beasts to be torn apart to shreds. Amanda immediately fell to her knees scared, while Wednesday (covered in blood from the lion beasts) walked towards Amanda with her sword out. As Amanda began to cower in fear, Wednesday looked blankly at Amanda as she said, "I believe I do remember you now. Didn't you used to sell girl scout cookies in town when you were young?" A confused but still scared Amanda said, "Yes, I did." Then Wednesday held her sword up as she said, "Well... I think I'm finally ready to try some delicious girl scout cookies... made from real former girl scouts." Then Amanda closed her eyes as she screamed, "Aaaaahhhhhh!"
***
An hour later, police were on the scene taking statements from various individuals. As a normal looking Harmony was wiping some blood off her clothes, Wednesday walked over to her as she said, "I assume we interrupted your college admissions interview." Harmony sighed as she said, "Yeah, well... family comes first." Then suddenly Mister Glicker ran over to Harmony as he said, "Harmony, you were amazing just now! The way you fought against those beasts with such determination and strong will... you are certainly no slouch!" Then an excited Harmony asked, "So am I accepted into the school then?" Mister Glicker then happily said, "Of course. Although... if you had just told me your mother was the Wednesday Addams from the start of our interview, I would've immediately accepted your application. I mean... your mother and I do go way back." Wednesday then looked at Mister Glicker as she said, "Do I know you?" Mister Glicker smiled as he said, "Of course you do. Amanda isn't the only person you met at Camp Chippewa that never forgot you." Wednesday looked carefully at Mister Glicker's face for a moment... and then her eyes widened as she said, "Joel?" A confused Harmony then asked, "Who?"
*Flashbacks to Long Ago:
As a young Wednesday and Joel sat near a lake together at camp, Wednesday asked, "Are you really allergic?" Joel nodded as he said, "Uh huh. To almost everything." Wednesday rolled her eyes as she said, "No you're not." Then Joel calmly said, "Am too. I can't have dairy products, or wear wool, or drink fluoridated water. You know what happens if my mom uses a fabric softener?" A curious Wednesday then asked, "What?" Then Joel simply said, "I die." Then after a brief moment of silence, Wednesday found herself scooting towards Joel.
Near the end of the camp season - Wednesday and Joel faced each other through a fence as Wednesday said, "Joel, I may never see you again. There are forces tearing us apart. Gary, Debbie, seventh grade." Joel then longingly looked at Wednesday as he said, "I'll never forget you." A curious Wednesday then asked, "You won't?" Joel then looked longingly into Wednesday's eyes as he said, "You're too weird." Then as Wednesday held onto the fence she said, "We'll always have today... and Chippewa." Then a loving Joel said, "And this..." Then Joel held up a retainer as a curious Wednesday asked, "What is it?" A pleased Joel then said, "Amanda's retainer... cara mia..." Then a passionate Wednesday said, "Mon cherie..." Then Wednesday and Joel briefly kissed each other through the fence... and then quickly wiped their lips with their respective hands.
Months later, Wednesday and Joel sat in a cemetery together as Joel asked, "Wednesday, do you think like maybe some day you might wanna get married and have kids?" Wednesday simply looked at Joel with a cold look in her eyes as she said, "No." Then Joel innocently asked, "But what if you met just the right man who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you... who'd be your devoted slave... Then what would you do?" Then Wednesday looked at Joel with a blank look in her eyes as she said, "I'd pity him."
In the present, Wednesday looked at adult Joel with a confused face as she said, "Joel Glicker... I'm surprised to see you're still alive. I had assumed all this time you were dead since the last time I saw you: my uncle's late wife was trying to drag you into her grave with her." Joel smirked as he said, "Well, after Debbie was unintentionally turned into a zombie, she was able to pull me six feet underground... but I was able to crawl my way out a few days later." Wednesday then looked a bit uncomfortable as she said, "I... I didn't come back to check. I... I'm sorry." Joel smiled as he said, "It's okay. You know... you changed my life that summer we met Wednesday. I know we were never meant to be... but I just gotta say... no one in my life before or since has ever made me feel so alive and dead at the same time like the way you did that one special summer."
Then as Wednesday looked a bit guilty she said, "Well, I... I'm sorry that in my autobiography, I described Tyler as the first boy I ever kissed." Joel shrugged as he said, "Eh... it made for a more dramatic line when it was needed. That book and the TV show it spawned are amazing by the way. So... did you finally marry someone that worships you, adores you, and acts like your devoted slave?" Enid then walked past Wednesday as she said, "See you at home Wens-babe; and remember: family movie night is still on! And if you try skipping it, I am painting your finger nails with pink tar while you sleep!" As Enid walked away, Wednesday then turned to look right at Joel as she said, "My wife is indeed my worshiper, supporter, and devoted slave... but she is also my eternal torturer... which may have been the one missing alluring quality you lacked." Joel chuckled a bit, and then smiled as he said, "Never stop being yourself Wednesday." Joel then walked away, while Wednesday turned to look at Harmony (who had heard everything). Wednesday immediately glared at Harmony as she said, "Not a word of what you just heard to anyone." Harmony chuckled a bit, and then she turned around and walked towards Megan who cleaning herself up.
Suddenly Megan's parents: Max and Alicia, and Megan's brother: Edward rushed into the room. Alicia looked worried as she said, "We just heard what happened. Are you okay Megan?" Megan chuckled a bit, and then said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Relax mom. You know I've already lived through far worse attacks on my life than what happened here today. Besides, I had Harmony here with me. We got each other's backs for life." Harmony smiled as she said, "Yeah, and Megan has become pretty good with her crossbow skills thanks to my mother's self-defense classes." Alicia made a sigh of relief, and then said, "You're right. You're both about to become adults... and continuously have proven you're miraculous at defending yourselves." Then Megan casually asked, "So how has the day been for the rest of you?"
Then Max put an arm around Edward as he said, "Well... we got a great report from Edward's inclusion specialist. She said Edward has become extremely self-sufficient working at the school restaurant, and thanks to a good word from the principal of Nevermore Academy; a program and trust has already been put in place to keep Edward working at the school indefinitely, complete with room and board, even past graduation." Edward smiled as he said, "I make good paaaancakes forever!" A smiling Megan immediately hugged Edward as she said, "Edward, that's amazing. I'm so proud of you!" Then Megan turned to look at her parents as she said, "Wait. You say a trust has been put in place? How did that happen?"
Wednesday then suddenly walked towards the family (revealing she had overheard the conversation) as she said, "That was in part my doing. I influenced the school board to set aside funds in the school budget to ensure any of Edward's needs are looked after for the rest of his life by the school; or more specifically any staff hand-picked by the head of the school's security... which would be myself." Megan looked surprised as she asked, "You really mean it?" Wednesday looked at directly at Megan, and spoke directly as she said, "Megan, you are about to marry my daughter. That makes you family, and thus your brother by extension is now family as well; and if there's one thing those in the Addams Family value... it's looking out for family." Harmony looked happily surprised as she said, "Mother... you really did all that?" Tears appeared in Megan's eyes... and then she rushed over and hugged Wednesday as she said, "Thank you Mrs Addams." Wednesday simply stood looking uncomfortable as she said, "Please Megan, from here on out, just call me... ma'am."
Meanwhile at the same moment: Ana was sitting on the stage with her cat while saying, "Well we sure had a crazy day Stormageddon the Conqueror. You do know that I know you didn't cheat on your girlfriend, right? Everyone knows you're a responsible, loyal, and safe kitty." Ana's cat nodded his head as he said, "Rowr." Then the white cat: Princess Snuggles walked towards Ana's cat as she said, "Rowr." Ana then looked at Princess Snuggles as she said, "You okay after all that Princess Snuggles? I know you got really worked up after hearing all those lies said earlier." Then Princess Snuggles look at both Ana and her cat as she said, "Rowr, rowr, rowr." Ana looked surprised as she said, "Wait a minute. You were only over emotional because of some real news you got earlier. What news?" Princess Snuggles then pointed her front right paw at a small locket she was wearing. Ana carefully reached over, opened the locket, and then pulled out a small piece of paper folded in the locket. Ana gently unfolded the small piece of paper, looked carefully at it, and then smiled as she said, "This... this a note from Princess Snuggles' veterinarian that was printed this morning. According to this... it looks like Princess Snuggles... is pregnant! It looks like you're gonna be a father for real Stormageddon the Conqueror!" The eyes of Ana's cat immediately widened as he said, "ROWR!?"
***
That evening in her bedroom, Enid sat in an oversized pink shirt while a blanket lay over the bottom half of her body. Wednesday then walked into the room wearing a black sleeveless night gown, and began to get into bed with Enid. As a smiling Enid looked at Wednesday, she said, "Well... that was certainly quite a hectic day we had." As Wednesday looked at Enid with an emotionless face, she said, "We've had more hectic. However... the anger that fueled Amanda Buckman's heart today... it's caused me to realize that I may have far more enemies than I even realize Enid. Thus, it's only inevitable that a much more powerful enemy may attack me again one day... and put you and our family in their cross-hairs. So... if you wish to keep yourself safe, I would show no resistance if you and our children decided to go away for an indefinite period of time to..." Then Enid put a finger on Wednesday's mouth as she said, "Shhh. Don't talk like that Wednesday. I'm your wife... and our girls love you. No matter how tough things get, no matter how powerful the enemy is... we will always be by your side." Wednesday then looked straight into Enid's eyes as she said, "But the dreams I've been having recently... they've shown me an enemy that will indeed finally overpower me. If those dreams were indeed visions of the future..." Enid interrupted Wednesday again as she said, "Then if you get knocked down... you'll get right on up again... with a little help from this family... because no one can keep the Addams Family down for long."
Soon Ana (wearing just an over-sized purple shirt) and her cat entered the room. As Ana sat on the bed, she happily asked, "So when's movie night gonna begin?" A smiling Enid then said, "When Harmony and Megan get in here. So... I hear we're not gonna be the only parents living in this house soon?" Ana's cat then simply sat on the bed as he said, "Rowr." Ana made a little sigh while still smiling, and then said, "Well... in order to not be too far from his new family when they're born, Stormageddon the Conqueror is gonna be living with Princess Snuggles starting next Monday. She's already living with Duncan's cousin who is a very nice lady, and she also has a giant back yard big enough for a large family of cats, so I know they'll all be very happy together there. But we'll still see our feline buddy around often." Ana's cat then made a small smile as he said, "Rowr." Enid made a slightly sad sigh, but still smiled as she said, "Aww. You mean Stormageddon the Conqueror is gonna move out the same week as Harmony? Wow. Once Ana goes off to college, this house is going to become so quiet." Then a pleased looking Wednesday said, "Which means I'll finally get a great deal of writing done."
Then as a smiling Ana leaned back on the bed, she said, "Don't worry moms. I'll keep mooching off you two for as long as I can get away with it. Besides, me and Gerard are always looking for a spooky and ghost friendly place to hang out at, and this place is perfect for him." A confused looking Enid then asked, "Who is this Gerard you're talking about?" Ana's face suddenly blushed bright red as she said, "He's not my boyfriend! He's a boy, and he's a friend. But he's not my boyfriend!" Wednesday and Enid then both looked at Ana with concerned faces, while a nervous and blushing Ana turned her head away.
Suddenly Harmony and Megan entered the bedroom; as Harmony was still in her well dressed outfit from earlier, while Megan was in a more comfortable blue shirt and sweat pants. Enid looked excited as she said, "Hey you two. I was worried you were gonna miss this." As Harmony and Megan sat down in some nearby chairs, Harmony said, "Yeah, well... me and Megan were just spending the last few hours getting all our paperwork together for when we get our marriage license." A smiling Megan then said, "Plus, we finalized the seating arrangement with all the grandparents." Harmony then looked a bit stressed out as she said, "Although understanding the seating arrangements that Grandma Morticia recommended was very difficult to understand. She kept going back to Who is at Seat 1." A relieved Enid then said, "Finally! I'm not the only one that feels that way!"
Megan chuckled a bit, and then said, "Regardless, this means we are 99 percent ready for our wedding now... with the only thing we still haven't figured out is what our wedding song should be." Then an excited Ana said, "You know... Lady Gaga has so many great songs that work perfect for weddings. I mean, who wouldn't want to dance and sing to Telephone on their big day?" Harmony glared at Ana as she said, "Ana, we are not having the first thing we dance to as a married couple be a song that early on says: Are you breaking up with me?" Megan also glared at Ana as she said, "Yeah, you really need to drop this obsession you have with trying to get us to play Lady Gaga music at our wedding." Ana then glared back at Harmony and Megan as she said, "Hey! Lady Gaga music works great for any occasion! Just ask anyone who remembers the greatest Super Bowl halftime show ever made... or that time when I ignored my 5th grade music teacher and sang Just Dance in the middle of our school's Mary Poppins show. I mean I think we can all agree that my little rewrite of the musical made Chimney Sweep Number 5 the most amazing character that night, am I right?"
The End held up the television remote as she said, "Okay. Everyone, get comfortable. It's time for the movie." Ana then laid on her side on the bed, while Harmony and Megan sat on the floor in front of the bed. Ana's cat meanwhile sat in between Wednesday and Enid. As everyone looked at the television screen that was facing the bed, a smiling Enid said, "Here we go." Then the television screen was turned on... to an image of a pregnant Wednesday sitting in a chair near a window. A confused Harmony then asked, "Wait. Is that mother?" An intrigued Ana then said, "Actually, I think it's Jenna Ortega dressed up as mother! Ooo! Is this the second season of the Wednesday TV series!? I heard they already started filming it! Did Netflix send us an advance copy!? Aw man, this is one crazy twist to open the new season with!"
Enid chuckled as she said, "No, that's your mother when she was pregnant with you girls. For movie night: I edited together all of our old home movies. I wanted us to look back at our family over the last 18 years before you girls turn 18 tomorrow." Megan smiled as she said, "Aww. That's so nice." Ana meanwhile looked disappointed as she said, "Aww; I was hoping we were gonna watch Wednesday Season 2. God, how long is it gonna take for Netflix to finally deliver that second season to us!? It's taking forever!"
As everyone focused on the TV screen, they saw handheld footage of Enid holding her camera phone as she walked through the hospital hallway while saying, "Okay. I just stepped out to use the bathroom. Now lets check in on how Wednesday and the girls are." Then Enid with her camera phone walked into the hospital room... to see Wednesday holding her newborn twin children... with tears in her eyes. A surprised Enid zoomed in on Wednesday's face as she said, "Wednesday... are you crying?" With tears still in her eyes, Wednesday glared at the camera as she said, "No." Meanwhile in the bedroom, everyone but Wednesday began laughing; while Wednesday just rolled her eyes.
The movie eventually showed footage of baby Harmony and Ana crawling around on the floor. Baby Ana then picked up a plastic knife, and then began hitting a toy clown with it as she said, "Stab, stab!" As Wednesday watched the movie in bed, she began to look impressed as she said, "Ana's form was definitely beyond her years early on." Then more clips of Harmony and Ana growing up passed. Eventually: footage of Harmony and Ana played that featured them at five years old using crossbows to shoot at a large pumpkin. After the two both shot arrows that hit the pumpkin, an excited little Harmony yelled, "Yay! We hit William Tell Pumpkin Head!" Then footage played of little Harmony and Ana dancing around Wednesday, while Enid could be heard saying, "Come on Wens. Dance with our kids." Wednesday looked at the camera with a straight face as she said, "No."
Then video footage appeared of young Harmony and Ana in straight jackets trying to free themselves. As Wednesday walked by the two, Harmony looked at her mother while saying, "Mother! It's been two hours! Can you please help us get free from these things!?" Then Wednesday looked at her daughters with a blank expression as she said, "No." Then Wednesday casually walked on. Then video footage appeared of young Harmony and Ana dressed in t-shirts, shorts, and baseball caps. Ana then looked at the camera as she said, "What do you think of our Halloween outfits?" A confused Enid (behind the camera) said, "I don't get it. You're both just dressed like regular kids." Then a smiling Harmony said, "I'm not dressed up like a kid. I'm dressed up like an adult having a mid-life crisis who is trying to recapture their youth by dressing up as a kid." Then a grinning Ana said, "And I'm a homicidal maniac. They all look like normal people on the surface."
Then video footage appeared of young Harmony and Megan sitting together at a picnic table. As present day Harmony and Megan watched, the two held hands as a smiling Megan said, "Aww. It's our first unofficial date we had." Then Harmony glanced at Enid as she said, "Mom, it's sort of cute you were spying on us during our first time together alone... but you didn't secretly record us on a bunch of our future dates, did you?" Enid immediately pressed the skip button on the remote, while nervously saying, "No. Why would you ask that? That would sound creepy."
Then video footage on the TV screen showed young Harmony and Ana laying in bed hugging Wednesday. A sick looking young Harmony said, "Uggh. So sick from ice cream." As Wednesday made a glaring look, she said, "That's what happens you overindulge." Then a sick looking Ana said, "But how was I supposed to know Rocky Road would give me a rocky stomach!?" Then as Wednesday put her arms around her children, she said, "Don't worry my children. I shall remain all night here with you... to witness this enjoyable pain you're experiencing."
More clips from the lives of Wednesday and Enid's children continued for the next hour. Everyone except Wednesday laughed many times, as Enid happily kept her eyes glued on the presentation... while Wednesday constantly either looked nervous at what was on the screen, or glared at the candid events being shown. As the movie neared it's end, a tired Ana slowly fell asleep. Megan also began to slowly fall asleep as she rested her head on Harmony's shoulder. As the movie neared it's conclusion, a smiling Harmony chose to close her eyes (while holding Megan's hand). Ana's cat eventually sat down on a pillow and began to fall asleep. Soon Wednesday and Enid were the only ones awake.
Enid then snuggled next to Wednesday, with her body facing Wednesday's side. As Wednesday and Enid looked at their family, a curious Enid said, "Wednesday?" Wednesday kept a calm expression as she said, "Yes?" Enid then hesitantly asked, "Do... do you ever wonder how our lives could've gone differently?" Wednesday then turned her head so she could look directly into Enid's eyes... and after a moment of silence, Wednesday opened her mouth, and with complete sincerity Wednesday said, "Never." Enid smiled, and then both married women kissed each other right before they began to sleep alongside the rest of their family.
THE END
...
...or maybe not...
EPILOGUE:
Wednesday Addams was in a dark place, as her eyes widened while saying, "My God. This is the moment I foresaw." Then Wednesday turned around and saw a dark figure in a dark cloak run at her with a sword out. Wednesday immediately pulled out her own sword (which she had concealed behind her back), and tried to block the other individual's sword with her own. Wednesday and the dark figure tried to hit the other with their sword, as several swings and clashes were made. However at one point, the two found their strength evenly matched as they pushed their swords up against one another. Then the dark figure moved one of their feet and kicked Wednesday to the ground. As Wednesday looked up at the dark figure, she heard a voice beneath the cloak say, "How does it feel Wednesday Addams... to finally be completely defeated by the last person you ever expected to overpower you!?" Wednesday then glared at the figure as she said, "Who are you?" Then just as the figure began to take off the hood of their cloak... Wednesday suddenly woke up in bed. Wednesday quickly sat up and saw her family laying asleep around her. As Wednesday put her hand over her beating heart, she closed her eyes... just as tears began to escape from them. With a look of total fear on her face, Wednesday began to cry as she opened her mouth and whispered, "God... I know me and you aren't on the best terms... but please... I'm not ready for it all to end. Not yet. Please... not yet..."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next Week: No jokes, no silly scenes, no comedic moments, nothing light-hearted. Next week... it's WEDNESDAY VERSUS HELL... PART 1
*Pictures 1 and 2 by: @annietheartsyartist (made partially with AI)
*Final Picture by: @emeriart
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