#tanks skills - decent

[theprinceandthewitch]

I am completely obsessed with Netease's money making tactic when it comes to their games... which is basically thirst-trapping ppl into playing their unbalanced games.

[chipped-chimera]

Where I've been btw (arms in a fish tank swearing a lot because plants hate being in aquasoil and water at the same time)

[designernishiki]

next task on my trophy crusade is winning all the climax battles and so far I’ve won all of them except the ultimate section and hoo boy. let me tell you. my hands fucking Hurt

[devotedlystrangewizard]

one of the reasons im levelling all classes to 90 is just that should i manage to talk my dad into playing the game with me i can flex my knowledge just like he did when he made us play his favorite mmorpg this shit is personal

[alienpossession]

Skillful Masseuse

A gift for @mindmelter

"How does he feel? All good inside of him?"

"Man.....you really did some number down there. Fuck, my mind feels foggy, I think you really managed to squeezed out every last bit of him that I don't want to consume,"

"Yeah well, practice makes perfect. You are like....what, my 78th guy or something? It's unacceptable if I cannot empty a guy consistently by the time I reached the 50th guy. Ah, yeah, the 50th guy, that was the biggest one, and the one giving me the toughest fight,"

"Well, entertain me while I recover then. Tell the story,"

"Oh, okay. So, it's this guy named Tamir. A big tank of a guy, Russian or something along those lines. As you know, I never started from the face for direct takeover rightaway, I started it as a real massage to lower their guard down. But of course I lathered your kind all over the body so you guys can scan the body first and absorb all the muscle memory while numbing it to the point of temporary paralysis. I think he noticed something is wrong right away because he immediately grunted

"Grrr.....why the fuck...uhhh... your oil is so fucking cold??? This is like...ffhhhuuuhh.... fucking frost bite,"

"It's what makes it special, just calm down sir. This will start to feel real good soon," I said to him back then to calm him down.

Yes he eventually calmed down, but moments later, when I lathered your kind on his neck, he started to tremble as he realized that his whole body already stiffened.

It was too late, of course, and soon I witnessed the whole liquid merged into one form and moved upward. Imagine my surprise when he flailed like a fish getting captured, his body trembled violently I thought it would snap in half and he even fell from the massage board! I legit thought your kind failed to tame him, I almost sprayed an entire bottle to his face out of panic. But luckily, he dropped back to the floor like a log as your kind rolled into his wide-open mouth. Of course he then proceeded to gave me the harshest fuck I ever received, I was unable to walk normally for 4 days and have to cancel some appointment because of that. He, being inside a shady businessman, just chuckled when I confronted him about my injury and simply thrown me 20,000 dollar as if it was nothing

"Just shut up and keep on converting, whore. You're not going to talk back to my kind as if we did not pay you back way better than what you serviced us," he said to me

"Wow, that's rude," lamented the latest client, towel already dropped to the floor

"Yeah, very. But he humiliated me further when he pointed out about my raging hard-on,"

"HAHAHAHAHAH, you got hard from all that? Man, that's on you! Me, if I got disrespected like that, oh I wouldn't let that slide,"

"Well, I did inform the most senior out of all of you for the 50th guy verbal insult. Let's just say, he got punished properly for crossing the line against me,"

"Oh fuck......what happened?"

"Oh, you'll know by yourself later. Your kind love to tell stories and gather around in country clubs etc. acting like you are talking about big business stuff when you are all just in fact sharing sex stories and scandals of your own kind. My message is, just don't be a dick to me and you'll be fine,"

"But I can put a dick inside of you, and I'll be totally fine, right?" smirked the taken over scientist, his cock elongated to a decent 7 incher and throbbed excitedly

"How else you guys would pay me after all?" Andrew said with a smirk, the fateful encounter earlier this year really turned everything around for him

----

Andrew has been a masseuse for the past 2 years, but his clientele remained small and he required an extra job just to stay afloat, especially with the cost of living that skyrocketed. Of course he would never expect that somehow his massage oil package got tainted by a mad scientist with a confidential project currently worked on by NASA.

Surprised to see the ripped package in his front porch after his day job, plus the fact that he got an appointment later that evening with no more oil left, Andrew decided not to complain or requesting refund about the opened packages.

Everything went per usual. The client, named Zaid, is a regular, so he casually just stripped to his underwear and let Andrew worked his way. Just imagine Andrew's surprise when his client that seemed fine for the earlier part of the massage suddenly started to speak about the stiffness all over his body.

Andrew checked the bottle of the oil and the expiry still lasted for some times, so this is not the oil issue. Is it his movement, then? When he started to get frantic, his surprise doubled when a translucent, viper-like creature the size of a pencil hovered right below Zaid's lips. That viper-like creature, within seconds, then jabbed itself into Zaid's nose and that made him yelled in pain. That's when the creature split into two and infiltrated Zaid from both his mouth and his nose. It all happened so quickly, Andrew didn't even manage to scream as he just froze in his place, thinking that his client just died under his watch caused by some kind of freak creature. But everything turned out to be far from over as the once-screaming-and-writhing Zaid calmed himself down before opening his eyes. That's when Zaid then said

"Hello, human. Nice to meet you,"

And of course Andrew passed out

He woke up with the morning light already entered the apartment, only to realize that he's no longer in his apartment and Zaid is walking around shirtless

"Oh hey there you, finally, you wake up!"

"Oh God, Zaid, are you okay? Your body no longer feel stiff? What about that creat---"

"Pssst.....stop that. Here, let me show you what I've learned while you fell asleep,"

And that afternoon, not only Zaid shared about all his findings, he also revealed that the he's actually no longer Zaid, as the viper-like creature is already in control of his body. It explained its origin, the test NASA conducted on them and the experimentation they conducted, the mechanics on the takeover, and how Zaid already take the decision to uproot Andrew from his flat and take the masseuse under his wing

"Zaid here got plenty of friends that can be used for my kind. Will you kindly help us?"

And so, the takeover spree started. The easiest one? Zaid's roommate who was surprised when Zaid revealed that they would have additional occupant in the apartment. When the roomie protested, Zaid just sprayed him with the oil right on his face as it then stiffened moments later.

"This makes for a quick takeover, but I find it not as hot as when you unknowingly rubbed my kind all over the human body. I want you to use that skillful hand of yours and give those oblivious human the most pleasure possible before they realized how fucked they are,"

His taken over roomie quickly agreed,

"I have to rub one out before finally feeling this good. So, stick to your method and ensure all our kind received this Earth-shattering entrance as they ride on that orgasmic wave of pushing over the last remnant of the original owner of the bodies, okay? Melt their mind into cum!"

That's exactly what Andrew did ever since. With Zaid and his roommie giving rave reviews about Andrew, soon, Andrew's clientele grew massively. It reached stratospheric high he never dared to dream before thanks to the alien-converted men that endorsed him despite Andrew's so-so massaging skill. But, practice indeed makes perfect and Andrew indeed gets better at his craft with more clients handled by him as his hands methodically kneading, cupping and applying pressure with his special oil all over the body of his clients.

When they got too comfortable and their bodies already numb, that's when the alien strikes and mere minutes later, a brand new entity is in possession of the fine studs. Have they ever seen it coming? Up until now, none, never, not once, based on the memory reading of the possessed. All of them too relaxed to even put up a fight, not even the strongest man can get out from the trap and most of them even thought that the massage was that good, their body turned hella weak.

With still a bottle left, Andrew is about to finish his duty helping the alien. But it's not like the alien ever thinking to dispose him. Instead, the alien wanted to introduce Andrew to their savior. Based on their latest intel, the scientist is alive but he's in hiding as countless government organization is on the lookout for him and also still searching where the heck the scientist disposed the last surviving bits of the alien samples. Of course they will never suspect the alien samples to be poured into 5 different bottle of massage oil in a random New Mexico's suburb.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐥 [Teaser]

In which Jungkook really only went to earth to take home his new pet- but ends up leaving with a lot more than that.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Ocean theme, very wet planet, bioluminescence, sci-fi, Romance, strangers to lovers, God this ended up WAY softer and fluffier than I thought it would, Fluff, Kook is tall and buff but sometimes fails to realize that, a pet shark named Custard, another pet shark named Noodle, more TBA

Length: unknown yet, teaser is ~700 words

-> Masterlist

A/N: a silly idea I had because of fellow fish enthusiast @euphoricfilter

━━━━━━━━━━.~°🩵°~.━━━━━━━━━━━

“I’m pretty sure they’ll get along great.” Jungkook smiles. “Of course I’ll have to slowly familiarize the two- but Custard is very sweet, she’s just sometimes a bit moody.” He explains to you, who watches the other shark in the tank with him as he’s being fed by a caretaker.

“I heard they’re a.. popular pet.” You mention, and Jungkook nods.

“Yeah! I initially wanted a lemon shark first, but then things changed, and I got custard first.” He shrugs. “Which I think might have been a good thing, considering that lemon sharks are said to get jealous easily if not properly socialized. It’s easier to introduce them to an already established shark than have them first and get them comfortable with a new one.” The alien explains, watching his new pet swim around.

“You know a lot about them.” You say, and he chuckles a bit bashful.

“I uh- not really. I just.. wanted to know what I’d be getting myself into. A pet is a big responsibility. “ He explains to you, and you nod.

“I swam with lemon sharks before.” You mention. “they’re pretty cute, but.. a bit chaotic sometimes.” You giggle, remembering the time, and how overwhelmed you’d gotten as the sharks had began playfully fighting over attention of you and the other divers.

“So you’re a good swimmer?” He asks curiously, standing next to you in front of the gigantic tank that holds his chosen pet inside, the young shark swimming around for now, while he’s being prepared for the newer conditions soon to become his permanent home.

“..decent.” You laugh a bit uneasy. “I.. nowhere near, you know, your skills.” You say, and he laughs.

“Oh that’s- like comparing clams with mussels. It’s not the same- just looks similar. Like us!” He shrugs off. “I think you’re under-selling yourself. And even if you’re not a good swimmer- I could teach you!” He offers, making you look up from where you stand near the glass.

"I'm just.. still a bit scared." You admit. "You know, after all that happened. I don't think I could just.. forget that and just.." you sigh, and he gently bumps your shoulder.

"Hey.. no one's asking you to." He tells you. "It just might be a good chance to face your fears? And I'll always be right at your side. I have an underwater license after all!" He proudly reminds you, and you can't help but laugh.

“You really seem like you really want me to visit your planet.” You tease, though he clearly doesn’t take it as a joke- nodding with almost cute enthusiasm.

“Of course! You said you always wanted to- so why not do it while visiting a friend?” He proposes. “it’s safer than just going alone. You could get lost, or even hurt.” He tells you. “and you’d miss out on.. you know, the spots only locals know.” Jungkook says, before he looks as Noodle swims closer again to inspect something floating around.

“I mean, you’re right..” you mumble, watching the shark move around. “…but I don’t know. I don’t think I could.. really.. I’m still just human.” You tell him, and he nods.

“I’m aware.” He responds. “and my planet has already made many adjustments to accommodate humans in many areas. You seem to forget that my kind has been.. mixing with humans for a long time by now. “ He chuckles. “means we had to evolve too, and change some of our architecture and stuff to adapt to those changes.” He says.

He’s right. And, in a way, he’s a living example of that change- with his honestly surprisingly human appearance, minus the height difference, and the hardly visible stripes of his skin.

“so, if you’d like, I’d happily house you for your vacation on my planet.” He grins. “and we can see just how well you swim.” He teases, leaning down a bit towards you before you both leave the large hall containing the tank for his new pet-

And you feel like this won’t just be a vacation at all, considering that he’s made it clear that he’s found interest in you past just simply being friends.

And in a way, you don’t mind that one bit.

[mokulule]

The Number You Have Called Cannot Be Reached 1

So figured I could show what else I am working on aside from Salt in the Bones with @clockwayswrites. I still blame Clock for this though, they are way too fun to brainstorm with, and I have too many WIPs already. Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason) Warnings: angst/depression and canon typical violence

Danny was sick and tired of this city, this entire dimension in fact. And this vigilante family, or whatever they were, were more dogged in their pursuit of him than the GIW or his parents had ever been - all this for a few gizmos.

Danny rolled his eyes and ducked a kick from the most violent midget since Youngblood.

Seriously he was just trying to build a portal home, and it wasn’t like he was hurting anyone. He’d mostly stolen from villains anyway! And Wayne industries was like a multibillion dollar company, they shouldn’t miss a few scraps or prototypes. It would hardly put a dent in their budget.

Midget was back on his feet and had now drawn a freaking sword. Yeah, this was it, Danny needed to leave before bigger and battier arrived. He faked left but then spun right around the probably actual literal kid with the real sword, jumped to the railing and kicked off towards the next rooftop. Ignoring gravity’s pull for a just a couple of seconds was the only reason he landed safely on the other roof.

He felt a moment of worry that the kid would try following him and glanced back, but the child was fuming in safety on the other side, having lost that grappling gun thing he used earlier in the chase, it seemed Danny was safe for now. The kids mouth was moving, probably talking to more of the heroes.

He wasn’t gonna be safe for long, but Danny allowed himself a moment to breathe in relief. Suddenly his breath stuck coldly in his throat and he froze. Impossible! The shades of this city barely tickled his throat, he hadn’t met anything that would even halfway classify as a ghost to his senses. Urgency was like a cold hand around his throat, a desperate longing hummed in his core as he slowly spun trying to get a sense of where - he only managed to see a blur of red before a heavy weight knocked into him slamming him to the ground. The cold mist in his throat was pushed out in a pained oof, and his head bounced first on one thing then another, but that didn’t matter because his core was singing; close, not alone, hug!

Danny’s head spun, his whole body felt pained and smushed. A man, no a freaking tank, was laying on top of him. Body armor dug into his ribs, probably something there was bent or broken and he felt certain that ominous red helmet had left a mark where it hit his forehead. Also his hair felt a bit wet beneath him. Yet that didn’t matter because he was so overwhelmed, warm with hands and feet tingling from the humming joy in his chest. Hug! His core sang again.

Somewhere in the fog in his head he recognized this was no hug, but he hurt, his head was spinning, and he was not alone and he was happy and wasn’t that more important than a bit of pain? Oo o oO

Jason was unsure what was going on.

He’d managed to tackle the elusive thief Dick had so “creatively” nicknamed the Ghost for his ability to go invisible and the inability for them to land a decent hit on him. In fact if he hadn’t seen footage from previous run-ins with the man, Jason would have thought they wildly exaggerated his skills.

After all the man had frozen up strangely when Jason pulled himself onto the rooftop as he listened only with half an ear to the demon brat angrily grumbling in the comms, that he would have had him had he not been a coward who ran away all the time. Their thief was slowly turning around as if looking for something, the green glass of his goggles reflected in the moonlight and for a moment gave the illusion they were glowing.

Jason had not wasted a moment, got to his feet, crossed the distance in a mere three large steps before he crashed into the man - so, he’d halfway expected the man to move and therefore hadn’t prepared to soften another person’s landing. His helmet hit the shorter man’s forehead and his head rebounded and hit the roof with a sound that made Jason internally wince. The next moment there was a snapping sound and a gasp as the man’s ribcage was caught between the roof and Jason - he really wore no armor, just that thin hoodie. No matter what B said about the danger of the stolen items, Jason was really starting to doubt they had a budding super villain on hand.

He immediately made a move to get up, but stopped, a strange feeling of something overtaking him. It took a moment for him to discern because of the dichotomy, but it was… happiness? What the fuck, it wasn’t his emotions, that made no sense. The pits had only ever sent him rage and in rare moments gruesome satisfaction. This was joy, he felt almost like he was floating caught in a wave at the beach, weightless, happy, warm in the sun. He shook his head pushing the foreign emotions away like he would the pit and focused on his dazed perp.

There was something wet glistening in his unruly black hair.

“Fuck,” Jason muttered, thankfully too low for the helmet to project, but loud enough that he got a breathless but insistent “report” back from Bruce where he was clearly hurrying toward their destination.

“I knocked the Ghost down, he’s bleeding from a head wound,” he muttered at his comms as he pulled the goggles up to get a look his eyes to check for signs of concussion, but immediately froze. The goggles, he’d thought it was a trick of the light earlier, but no, his eyes were glowing - bright and green and just a shade lighter than the Lazarus pits. A shudder ran cold down his back. Somehow the foreign emotions were coming from him, Jason was sure of it, but it explained absolutely nothing! Unrestrained joy? Was this some kind of shock response?

More footsteps landed on the roof and Jason didn’t need to look to know it was Bruce with the Brat along for the ride. He finally remembered he’d been trying to get off the other man at some point.

Oo o oO

No, no, no, Danny’s core protested when the other ghost moved away, and he clutched onto what he could grab, which he dazedly recognized as a very nicely muscled arm. The other arm, because human shaped ghosts have two arms (good job Danny), supported Danny by holding onto one of his arms and that was good. Getting upright gave him the worst moment of vertigo, and his breath whooshed out of him. His legs were like jello and didn’t support him, but that didn’t matter, because his new friend had a good firm grip, could probably even hold him up entirely without Danny clutching his arm, good friend, mine. He butted his head into his chest because that was what he could reach and just leaned there. His core hummed so happily he felt like he’d almost shake apart.

Friend.

Mine

Good friend

…

Why no response?…

Hello? Danny was confused, why wasn’t he getting a response. Also why did his head and chest hurt so bad?

“Tt, what is the matter with him?”

The question, delivered in a haughty voice was like a bucket of ice water on his senses. He gasped and pushed away from where he’d been nuzzling some guy’s chest! Alarmed, he stumbled, but dodged the hands reaching for him, to support him, to catch him, he wasn’t sure. There was the big bat and the midget and the tank in the red helmet; the guy who felt like a ghost and he just wanted nothing more than to go back to him, and- Danny shuddered taking another step back, his face was hot and flaming red right now. This was, this was- he couldn’t-

Hiding his powers be damned; he sunk through the roof.

So embarrassing! He closed his eyes fighting tears as he sank down down down, all the way into the ground where they for sure couldn’t follow him. All the while his insides screamed, because he didn’t want to be lonely anymore. Fuck, he just wanted to go home.

He was so sick and tired of this city.

So... yeah hope you enjoyed this, now I can reveal why I blame Clock, they said and I quote "Danny, like a cat with catnip suddenly" and now Danny is a cat, what can you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Jason's gonna have to lure this feral ghost in slowly with food and hugs.

edited with link to the next part:next Masterpost where you can subscribe: link

[dragongirl642]

heyyy i just read the werewolf shifter hc! it’s great, along with all your others. do you think you could do donna and alcina reaction to a s/o who is very tall (like 7’6”) and is a bigger person. but can cook really well? keep up the great work! <3

Thank you Glad you like my headcanons...here's some more 😎👌

Alcina Dimitrescu

She thinks you are a god/dess. Something divine, a gift plucked from the heavens that she is eternally grateful for.

She likes the warm feeling in her chest that blooms whenever you cuddle on a couch together or she sees you getting along with her daughters.

You're just so soft, and kind, and strong, and tall, and smart, and funny, and beautiful, and talented, and...she will wax lyrical about you in her diary.

If you're a woman, her earlier entries will be plans to drain "the new maid", which then slowly morph into poetry.

If you're a man, her earlier entries will be filled with shock and anger over the "useless butler", which then slowly morph into notes on what her "filthy but cute manthing" surprised her with today.

If you have any insecurities about your body or your appearance, she will loudly proclaim how ridiculous your insecurities are and love-bomb you. She may even read you some of the poetry in her diary about you.

She appreciates your height and strength.

Will shamelessly ogle you when you're doing any chores or heavy lifting.

However, she will avert her eyes and make a comment about "decent attire" if you wear any sort of crop top or tank top and shorts while completing said chores/heavy lifting. (She is secretly swooning.)

When you're anniversary was coming up, you scoured the town and castle to find recipe books and experiment with making vampirism-friendly meals.

Black pudding, blood soup, roasted bone marrow and other organ meat meals.

Alcina won't admit it, but she almost cried when you presented her with your one-year anniversary meal surprise.

She always talks (brags) about your cooking skills with the other Lords.

She will "suggest" you write all the recipes down and "helpfully" leave the necessary materials lying around in places you frequent. She wants to have something to remember you by.

Alcina doesn't want you dead. But she knows the village (and her castle) is full of dangers. Mother Miranda. Feral lycans. Her own daughters (who don't try and eat you only because you feed them and Alcina has firmly, sternly, told them not to touch you).

Once she loves you, she lives with the knowledge she will one day lose you and secretly fears losing you earlier than the end of your natural lifespan.

The Lords will feel like they know you before they meet you.

Heisenberg will make sarcastic comments about how Alcina has lost brain cells since meeting you, but he's secretly overjoyed that Alcina keeps derailing meetings to talk about you.

Some of them (cough Mother Miranda cough) don't like the effect you have on Alcina.

If it got to the point when she had to choose between you or Mother Miranda she's not sure who she would choose.

If it's in the first two years of your relationship, she may choose Mother Miranda while internally crying over the loss. If it's after the first two years (especially after five years) she will choose you, prepare for her battling for you in her mutated form (also, she may even put aside her hate and join Heisenberg's revolution plan for you).

Donna Beneviento

You'd better hope you don't have pediophobia (fear of dolls).

Will climb you like a tree. (just kidding 😅)

But seriously, you picked her up one time (probably to, like, make sure her dress didn't get wet in a puddle or because she tripped and you caught her by sweeping her up into your arms) and she felt so safe and secure and at home in your arms that now she just wants to live in them.

Angie will also try to climb you to get a height advantage by sitting on your shoulders. She feels safe up there. Not to mention she can swear at people without fearing reproach (until you pluck her off and put her back on the ground that is).

Angie acts like Donna's subconscious without a filter and will blurt out compliments or make comments about how cool you are in meetings. She also loves nicknames.

If you're a woman, prepare to be called "Sugar Babe" and "Amazonian hottie."

If you're a man, prepare to be called "Captain Cutie" and "Mister Hunk".

No matter your gender, she may make a plush doll of you for herself.

If you have any insecurities about your body or appearance, she will use the doll to point out all the things she loves about your appearance and basically love-bomb you every day until you're brainwashed and can't remember why you were sad.

Evening cuddles are mandatory. Donna loves your cuddles.

Beware, Angie will want in on any cuddles.

A few of the other dolls might want in too, but they will just be waiting in the background sending you hopeful looks. If you aren't pediophobic (scared of dolls) and tell Donna group cuddles are okay, prepare to be swamped in multiple wooden dolls wrapped in wool and ruffles.

Donna thanks her veil every day for hiding the fact that she is shamelessly ogling you when you're doing any heavy lifting or chores around the manor.

With enough compliments and support, she will feel comfortable removing the veil around you. (Although she will hastily put it back on to hide her blushing).

She absolutely loves your cooking. I repeat, Donna LOVES your cooking.

Before you moved in, three warm home-cooked meals a day were a rarity.

If you write the recipes down, she will learn to bind books just to handmake you a book to put them in.

Tea parties are a regular occurrence in the Beneviento Manor.

You make the food and Donna makes the guests (literally).

Please, please, please let her make you an outfit for the tea party.

Actually, she will want to make all of your clothes. Prepare to be the main model, muse, and customer of the Donna Boutique.

You are Donna's favourite doll.

She thinks you're the most gorgeous person she's ever met. prepare to be given so many tailored clothes.

Coincidently, you also have a set of doll helpers/bodyguards Donna gifted you. They're little butler dolls, who's job is to follow and protect you from Mother Miranda under the disguise of being your little helpers. You can throw/launch them at anything that threatens you, they love it.

Speaking off, Mother Miranda does not like the effect you have on Donna. She will plot to kill you.

If she gets scared enough, Donna may go to Heisenberg and ask for help creating a weaponised soldier doll for you, (which is really just a terrifying amalgamation of a lifesize soldat and a doll in ruffles).

[auyuyu006]

Johnshi HCs

I'm sorry most of these aren't explicitly romantic I just have so many HCs about the two of them it's driving me crazy.

Johnny holds Kenshi by the waist, Kenshi holds Johnny by the shoulder or the bicep. After some time Kenshi starts to go for his hand instead.

Johnny is on his phone all of the time. Kenshi will either avoid the internet for a week or plays chess on the computer at the kitchen table for a day straight without talking to anyone (secretly uses Sento for this).

Kenshi has good spirits (literally) when it comes to his blindness, but can get very defensive when others pity him for it. Johnny is the only other person he will let touch his blindfold, take it off, or wash it.

Kenshi doesn't love the name "Johnny Cage" and thinks that "John Carlton" suits him. Johnny thinks that it sounds like an "old man's name"

Kenshi would visit Johnny on set sometimes but not say or do anything but sit in the background and watch him in silence until he was done.

Speaking of that- Kenshi had a good time filming in Outworld for Johnny's movie (made him feel like an action hero), but absolutely refused to watch the parts he was in.

Kenshi thought Johnny's movies were mostly cheesy before and after meeting him. However, he ended up rewatching all of them and got excited when there was news he got cast for a new one (before they started to officially date).

Johnny was a pretty good student growing up who made A's and B's as per expectations of his parents but hated school because he got picked on. He got into a decent university where he ended up falling in love with physics. He accidentally became famous around the time he was 20 (maybe he got street casted and went viral?) and had to balance acting with school to get his pHD. He is that school's most famous alumni.

Kenshi was mostly homeschooled by his parents and did not show much attention in academics in his youth due to his intense upbringing in the yakuza. This is something that he regrets but accepts that it wasn't really his choice to begin with. However he is quite knowledgable, knows broadly about history and literature, and can speak multiple languages (Japanese, Chinese, Korean, English, Spanish). He also learns braille relatively fast after losing eyesight.

Kenshi thinks it's so hot that Johnny has a pHD but also thinks its so strange he doesn't do anything with it. (It's a backup plan so he can write textbooks if his career tanks)

Johnny is great at drawing due to it being a hobby growing up stemming from him being a major comic book fan. Kenshi isn't very artistic however used to be able to do mediocre calligraphy (a skill he learned from his parents) before he became blind.

Kenshi breaking into Cage Mansion the second Cris left was admittedly pretty awkward for him (but he was too distracted by Sento to rly care).

Kenshi tries to not let it get to him, but he is saddened by the fact he cannot read properly anymore. Johnny tries to support him by buying him every audiobook in every language he understands. Kenshi will sometimes ask Johnny to read to him mostly because he loves the sound of his voice.

At first, Kenshi tried to get Sento to help him with daily tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc.), but after talking to Kuai Liang he tries not to rely on Sento on anything non-kombat related.

Kenshi has a slight lisp (I'm sorryyyy this isn't rly a hc but you can hear it in his intro dialogues he still sounds like a badass tho i think it's super cute thank god for Vic Chao)

Johnny makes their home a "smart home" a.k.a 30 Alexas in every room of their place, and a Samsung fridge he can live tweet from while making green juice.

Kenshi sometimes used to drive with Sento in the back seat and got arrested for it one time. Now he gets told off by Johnny for it every time he tries it again.

Kenshi will only drink milky coffee (lattes, cappuccinos, etc.) and prefers tea. Johnny hates coffee and tea and pounds red bull in the morning.

Kenshi used to care a lot about his personal style and mostly only wore suits and dress attire. After losing his eyesight, he didn't care as much anymore and just focused on wearing things that were comfortable (sweatpants, sweaters)

Johnny buys Kenshi soft fluffy things to wear all the time. Kenshi always says it's unnecessary but ends up wearing it anyway.

In MK1 Johnny is 32, and Kenshi is 39 (I like the idea of Kenshi being old it just makes sense to me). It both amuses and horrifies Kenshi that he's dating a white man 7 yrs his junior.

Johnny calls him "old man Takahashi" and Kenshi just goes along with it and says "get off my lawn you punk" or something LOL

I think Kenshi was more of the brawny "tough guy" of the yakuza than the suave, seductive type. He has more of an awkward and stony personality. And the fact that he was desperate to get out makes me think he wouldn't entertain the "flirty" role of the job. (a.k.a Kenshi is BAD at flirting unlike a certain someone)

Johnny sometimes helps Kenshis clunky azz samurai gear on before he engages in kombat. Johnny is also the reason Kenshi sometimes gives up and just wears a suit.

Kenshi shops like an old Asian dad. LOVES Costco, will eat all of the samples. Will buy everything on sale even if he doesn't need it. Will not take Johnny with him because his megastardom ruins the peace of being unrecognized. Has taken Raiden with him though. Will use Johnny's credit card. Johnny is dismayed that he hasn't taken a liking to Erewhon and Whole Foods

When Johnny isn't there with him at night Kenshi will play his movies and fall asleep to the sound of his voice

Kenshi will have sex with the blindfold on. He will fall asleep next to Johnny with it off.

Kenshi doesn't like sleeping with the blindfold on, but was worried it would scare or disgust Johnny in some way. It doesn't and it never did. In fact, Johnny appreciates the intimacy that it creates.

[popatochisssp]

If u haven’t answer this already

How do your boys react to strangers in general?

Externally, as in how they act around someone new?

Friendly: Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale), Sky (Underswap Sans), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Mal (Swapfell Sans), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus), Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans), Sunny (Gastertale Sans), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus), PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus), Xanth (Ascendswap Sans), Piper (Ascendswap Papyrus), Carmine (Underfell Fruition Sans), Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papyrus), Bram (Descendtale Papyrus)

Wary: Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus), Slate (Horrortale Sans), Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus), Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans), Kohl (Descendtale  Sans)

Neutral: Ash (Undergloom Sans), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Spectr (Transcendtale Sans), Tank (Underfell Fruition Papyrus)

As for some of the internal…

Sans (Undertale): He’s a friendly guy, definitely not wearing his heart on his sleeve or getting super deep with anybody right away (…or possibly ever…), but he likes getting to know people and figuring out what they’re all about, and that does involve some amount of being approachable.

Papyrus (Undertale): He’s often been a little lacking in the friends department, so he always puts his best foot forward with new people—that way, they know from the jump they’ve just met a fun, cool guy who’s prime friend-material, and whatever they decide after that, they at least have the facts!

Sky (Underswap Sans): Perhaps surprisingly he’s not inclined to be open or intimate with people right from the start, but he fully believes in getting back what you put out into the universe, so of course he’s friendly and polite with everyone as a matter of course, unless given a reason otherwise.

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): He doesn’t have a whole lot of ingrained, well-developed social skills, and he’s had some not-so-great experiences with friendship in the past, so while he’s never rude if he can help it, he does hold himself back a fair bit and instinctively ducks the attention of new people…

Jasper (Underfell Sans): He’s a pretty social guy and prefers not to have enemies if he can help it, so he’s the ‘funny guy, seems decent, nothing to worry about’ wherever possible, rarely vulnerable or openly real with people, especially strangers—but is that really so egregious?

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): He’s vigilant to potential threats, he’s been burned (or rather scarred) one too many times trusting people just because they seem harmless or nice, so while he won’t be cruel to someone new without cause, neither will he be all that open to them until they’ve earned it.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): He trusts basically no one and expects everyone he meets may someday stab him in the back if it might benefit them—but one of the best ways he’s found to combat that is by being charming and friendly and helpful, so that people at least think twice about it first.

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): People are terrifying, he has no idea how to talk to them and usually ends up putting his foot in his mouth…especially when he’s nervous, which is most of the time he’s in a social situation—and that’s presuming they’re even nice people, which is not always the case in his experience, so…yeah…

Slate (Horrortale Sans): He never entirely knows what reaction he’s gonna get, with his size and how he looks, so he tends to hedge his bets around new people, steer a little clear and leave room to be avoided if it’s the more comfortable option…better for preventing explicitly negative reactions that aren’t great for his self-esteem.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): Kill them with kindness, he always says…except he doesn’t ever say that, but it’s a good saying, he should say it more because everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect as the default—or at least the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise!

Ash (Undergloom Sans): He’s a bit of a social lurker, likes to be around groups but he’s pretty quiet so he reads as shy or a loner to new people. It just takes him a bit to get comfortable chatting and quipping since he likes to pick his moments, and that's less about the stranger(s) and more just about how he rolls.

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): He loves to meet new people and always does his best to make a good first impression, very friendly and full of offers to be a helping hand right from the start. While he won’t bend over backwards for a relative stranger, he will go pretty far out of his way in the name of good will—to say nothing of how he is once he actually gets to know someone!

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): It’s less that he doesn’t want to socialize than it is him not trusting himself to, certain things set him off and it’s not a pretty scene when that happens, so until he knows what kind of people he’s dealing with, it’s generally better that he keep a little distance—at least initially.

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): He’s largely uninterested in other people and explicitly not looking for any friends, so the attitude he has approaching those kinds of interactions is usually curt and aloof—in most cases, he has nothing to fear and nothing he’s interested in gaining, so basic acknowledgment is most of what he gives.

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): He’s a little less approachable-looking than he used to be, but still definitely wants to talk to people and make some friends, so he puts a little extra effort in to be kind and express interest. His general aim is to cast a wide net and see if he can't catch somebody longer term.

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): He’s selective about the kinds of people he wants around him, not inclined to go out of his way to be a dick to strangers, but he’s not really putting his best foot forward with everybody—and frankly, he’s got limited ‘don’t say something thoughtless and/or rude’ energy, he just can’t be spending it all on randos…

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): He’s using his charm for evil for personal reasons these days, he likes making connections and having a good time, and being friendly and gregarious (even with strangers) is a great way to facilitate that—which isn’t to say he really trusts any of those people, or wants them around a lot, but why make enemies unless it’s fun?

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): He’s got trust issues, it’s nothing personal, just hard for him to figure out how safe any given stranger is…and from there, to convince himself of it, because logic says one thing and anxiety says another and who really knows which one is right. He’s not rude, but definitely quiet and standoffish, slow to engage.

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Strangers won’t be strangers for long, he has a habit of making friends out of people most anywhere he goes. He can come back from even the most random places with a new bud to introduce—it could almost be terrifying if it wasn’t just kinda bizarre, but he loves people! That's all it is!

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): He’s very charming and sociable, always interested in meeting someone new and making a connection, hearing all about their lives and interests… A lot of it is, admittedly, very calculated as he actively chameleons to try and get a good grade in Normal Person, but it’s still genuine in intention if not something he naturally comes by.

Spectr (Transcendtale Sans): He’s not really looking to make friends, but he doesn’t have an especially strong aversion to people either. He kind of just accepts it as an inevitability that he’ll encounter them, do the bare minimum of whatever social contract the situation requires, and then be on his way. Not much else to it.

PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus): He loves meeting people and being social and showing off, receiving the praise and adulation of the masses on occasion, but he rarely makes any kind of effort to cultivate or even leave room for anything further. He’s fun and kind to most everyone, just not often interested in investing any more than surface-level.

Xanth (Ascendswap Sans): He’ll happily talk to and try to befriend strangers all day long, he sees something beautiful and interesting in everyone—and that can get him into trouble sometimes with people who are put off by his enthusiastic interest, or with those who catch on that he’s a huge people-pleaser and would give the shirt off his back if asked, but…it’s just how he is.

Piper (Ascendswap Papyrus): He’s a self-made Prince Charming down to his marrow, he’s great with new people and loves to chat and charm and network wherever possible. …He does hold a lot back and keep his guard up, only really getting comfortable with people after a long while, but that doesn’t stop him from being warm and polite in the meantime.

Carmine (Underfell Fruition Sans): Strangers are just buddies he hasn’t met yet, he’s been locked up in solitary so long that any opportunity to run his mouth is more than welcome—though occasionally, he will get a gut feeling about somebody, usually if they’re real bad news, and he doesn’t listen to a lot of things, but hey, his gut’s never wrong.

Tank (Underfell Fruition Papyrus): Meeting people and socializing with them was decidedly not part of his training, but while he doesn’t have a lot of familiarity or skill built up for it, neither is it especially distressing to him. He may be spoken to, he will respond as necessary, and otherwise…? Just monitor the situation and act if appropriate.

Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans): Not very fond of people in general but especially not strangers, he doesn’t like to be the subject of any special notice, so around new people he tends avoid being central to any conversation and does his best to just blend into the background…or to escape entirely, if that’s feasible…

Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papyrus): He’s good with strangers, anything and anyone new is cool and he likes scoping ‘em out, seeing if they might be fun. At least early on, any investment on his part is selfish and generally centered around what he might be able to get out of it, but that doesn’t make him seem any less mischievously fun to the people he charms.

Kohl (Descendtale Sans): He does not like strangers at all, no matter how friendly and harmless they may seem to be. He mostly keeps his distance but tries to stay aware of what anybody he doesn’t know is doing, sizing them up and—if their character allows for it—gradually becoming accustomed to them until he’s willing to count them as something other than threat/nuisance/inconvenience.

Bram (Descendtale Papyrus): If he ever learned the phrase ‘stranger danger,’ he’s willfully forgotten it, everyone is a friend unless they prove otherwise and he will engage them as such! He definitely has a tendency to come on a little strong, which can sometimes be off-putting, but he’s immediately ready to go above and beyond for anyone willing to match his energy.

[midnight-glasses]

Can you do Reiji body headcanons, please🙏!!

This headcanon clearly inspired by @/dialovers-lover-xoxo check out her post!

☕ — Since he always wears gloves, Reiji's hands are very soft and smooth when you touch them. Additionally, he always keeps his nails trimmed.

☕ — He doesn't have many body hairs, but where he does, they are located in very specific places and not in abundance. He has a decent amount of hair mainly in the armpits and a bit in the abdomen region, extending down to the pelvis, and a little hair on his legs. They are almost imperceptible, but when you touch them, you can feel them.

☕ — Reiji has a thin torso and waist, but his body is well-toned and even muscular to a certain extent. He has more physical structure than Laito but is not as muscular as Ayato.

☕ — I'll be bold in stating this, but I like to entertain the idea of Reiji having inverted nipples. He tends to be very self-conscious about this and is unlikely to be shirtless around anyone.

☕ — Reiji has an upright and elegant posture, reflecting his refined upbringing and his sense of superiority over his other brothers.

☕ — His hair is tidy and impeccable; when you run your hand through it, you can notice that it's very silky and soft, with an aroma similar to that of fine herbs.

☕ — Reiji's feet are small and elegant, a feature he doesn't particularly like. Perhaps he's a little insecure or overly self-conscious about it, but it adds a certain grace to his overall demeanor.

☕ — He has broad, well-defined shoulders. If he ever allowed himself to wear a tank top, he would look great in it.

☕ — Reiji's skin is smooth and flawless, with hardly any noticeable hair or texture. It feels similar to the skin of a peach when you touch it, smooth and soft like a makeup sponge.

☕ — His fingers are long and agile, perfect for manipulating delicate objects with surgical precision.

☕ — Reiji's legs are long and slender, with an athletic appearance without being overly muscular.

☕ — His eyebrows are thin and well-shaped, curving gently over his eyes. Speaking of his eyes, they are not as feline as Laito's eyes; they are softer, though they narrow when he is angry.

☕ — Reiji has piercing and deep eyes, with irises of a dark hue that tend to shine brightly when he is excited.

☕ — His chin is slightly square.

☕ — Reiji maintains an upright and proud posture, with his torso tilted slightly forward when he is concentrating on something, giving him an air of determination and focus.

☕ — His skin on his arms and forearms is smooth and pale, without visible imperfections. As mentioned earlier, he is not the prime example of physical strength, but one cannot say that his combat abilities are atrophied. He knows how to use his strength and fighting skills when necessary.

☕ — Reiji's ears are not prominent, discreetly framed by his tidy hair, and they lie close to his head.

☕ — His nose is straight and thin, with a slightly upturned tip. The nostrils are defined, and the nose line is smooth and symmetrical

☕ — Reiji's buttocks are subtly defined beneath his clothing. He often opts for loose-fitting clothes that slightly accentuate the curvature of his hips. (I like to think so, again these are just headcanons, don't judge me by the thought)

☕ — Reiji's lips are thin and well-defined. When he smiles, you can notice some dimples appearing on his cheeks.

☕ — His smile is often restrained and calculated, revealing just enough to convey confidence and, occasionally, a sardonic streak of humor. His thin, well-designed lips contribute to the balanced aesthetic of his smile, the dimples in his cheeks only appear when he is very excited and cannot contain himself.

☕ — Reiji's teeth are white and straight, with slightly more pronounced canines.

☕ — Reiji has a gentle expression line between his eyebrows. This line, known as a forehead furrow or “worry lines”, is subtle but noticeable when he is focused or deeply reflecting on something.

☕ — When nervous, he has the habit of sawing his teeth or biting his lower lip, sometimes it is possible to see evidence of this, especially after moments of stress.

☕ — Reiji has a small dark mole on the inner side of his left ring finger, just like his uncle.

☕ — He has a long, slender neck

☕ — Reiji has a subtle scent of woody notes and spices.

☕ — He has a habit of combing his hair with his fingers when he's nervous, he tends to do it in a very ritualistic way.

☕ — In addition to being deep, Reiji's voice is engaging and melodic, captivating the attention of whoever listens.

☕ — When he is thoughtful or concentrated, Reiji may frown slightly or purse his lips.

All my written content is original, however, I do not claim ownership of the characters depicted. ©2024-Present.

[beefrobeefcal]

Beefro Proudly Presents:

a Chubby!Joel Miller One Shot

Please welcome Joel Miller to Beefro's Bistro!

a Joel Miller & his Darlin' One Shot: The Way into a Man's Heart

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You've been traveling companions and now that you're in Jackson, Joel's getting comfortable. (Post Outbreak)

Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI)

Word Count: 3,650

Content Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut, fingering (f receiving), p in the v - unwrapped (don't be silly, cover you willy, kids!), talk of eating, belly praise, self esteem, weight gain, flannel shirt button popping

Author's Notes: FINALLY! The long awaited addition to the Menu is here! I wrote the majority of this listening to Hozier's new album so please forgive my non-fluffy heart if there are traces of fluff. Thank you to the Nonnie who submitted the illuminating THOT!

Major thanks to @harryleatherfit for their support, and to all those on the TAGLIST - this one's for you, babes 💜 The THOT TANK is always open, Friendos

--------<3----------

They found you in an abandoned apartment building somewhere in the Midwest, and after being cooped up together – surviving – for few days, it was settled that the duo had become a trio. Joel came across as a gruff and emotionless man and while he made you feel supremely unwelcome at first, he grew to at least give you the impression that he tolerated you for Ellie. For the next several months, it was just the three of you, trekking through the ruins of America.

The three of you finally found Joel’s brother and were tentatively welcomed into Jackson. It had taken some time for you, Joel, and Ellie to find your bearings after you’d arrived being that, for the first time in a while, you were expected to act in a civil manner towards others in proximity instead of defending yourselves and fighting for resources.

You and Joel were not a couple. He had never shown any interest towards you beyond your uncanny fishing ability, while you tried to not think of him as anything more than muscle and reinforcement in your travelling party. You were attracted to him, and you did your damnedest to squash any and all thoughts of him being more than a survival companion. This was made worse for you as Ellie would not even discuss the idea of you not being under the same roof in Jackson as she and Joel. Maria and Tommy had set the three of you up in a 3-bedroom home across from them, and you did your best to find a homey-rhythm as a trio.

While you and Ellie had taken to this new life with a relative ease, Joel was almost fighting it. Ellie let her curiosity run wild and you tried to find a social group, but Joel fought back. He didn’t engage with anyone that weren’t a select few outside of sideways glares and grunts in responses to hellos. He declined to get new clothing and outright refused to sleep in a bed until Ellie threatened to spill his deep, dark secrets to you that she had learned through his sleep talking. Even with food, now that there wasn’t a food scarcity or a worry about the next meal, he still refused to stray from his food rationing way of eating. He didn’t go to the mess hall to eat, opting instead for keeping to himself in the house, picking away at whatever was on hand in the pantry.

That was, until you had been assigned kitchen duty due to your skills from working as a teenage line cook in a diner, pre-apocalypse. You’d brought some food home from the mess hall one evening, and Joel picked at it, grumbling that it was decent and wouldn’t be opposed to you bringing home more.

So, you did. And he began to actually sit at the table and eat, but he didn’t come to the mess hall until the following week when you’d told him you were making a beef brisket buffet on the Friday night. While he’d shown more enthusiasm than you had ever seen before (he raised his eyebrows), you were very surprised that night when the hall went quiet as he entered with Ellie at his side.

Your supervisor was so shocked that he showed up, he suggested you sit with him since more than likely no one else would. Ellie took off immediately to sit with kids her own age from school, and that had led you to sitting at a small table in the corner with Joel, watching him eat. And good god, did he eat.

His first serving disappeared before you could even begin yours, and he was back with his second helping with an actual – albeit small – grin on his face.

“I have never seen you look so… happy…”, you mused with a smile at him.

“Never had reason to be… but this is good… haven’t had food like this in… fuck… years.”, he grunted while shovelling food in his mouth.

He looked up at you and gave you a brief smile as he chewed before going back to eating and your heart skipped a beat. That was the kindest he had ever been to you, and you felt those walls you’d built up around those thoughts and feelings you had for him shake.

You’d finished your food and stood up to return your dirty dishes, but as you went to walk away, he called your name.

“Hey Darlin’… uh, mind getting me another helping?”, he asked with a full mouth.

You nodded with a dumb grin at the new nickname, dumped off your dishes, and returned with another plate for Joel.

****

Three months later, the food he was allowing himself was starting to make an impact on his waistline. Never shying from second or third helpings, whether in the mess hall or at home, his tummy was more pronounced whether it was full or not.

You did your best to keep yourself in check, to not let yourself daydream about how that belly might feel under your fingers, or let your mind get carried away listening to the noises he made as he soothed his bloated middle. He would occasionally offer you little grins or a head nod, something he only recently began since being in Jackson, and you assumed he was being polite now that death wasn’t around every corner; this was just his true nature coming out. You figured your time living under one roof was coming to an end, given that you, he and Ellie were safe, and you didn’t need to keep such close quarters while you built your lives back up.

Ellie was spending more time with other kids and less at the house, while Joel continued to patrol and work in the carpentry shop, and you worked away in the community kitchen. When you and Joel were home alone, he kept a respectful distance from you. If there were moments your bodies could touch, like when you did dishes after dinner or he needed help carrying firewood in the house, he generally made a point of not getting too close and stepping back from you and looking away. You took the hint and figured the conversation of your moving into a place of your own was on its way.

*****

One Saturday evening, Joel had really outdone himself on the pork carnitas in the mess hall. You noticed he shifted in discomfort and discreetly had his hand on his lap. It took you a moment, but you finally realized he was unbuckling his belt and opened his pants. You averted your eyes to not embarrass him, but not before you saw that his belly was pushing out on to his lap. Joel Miller was having his fill, damned be his pants.

After he announced he was done, his green flannel shirt was pulled so tight across his middle that you swore you could hear the seams creaking and there were spaces between each of his buttons, exposing his undershirt.

The walk back to your house was relatively quiet, save for Joel’s grunting and huffing every other step from the strain of his full belly.

“Fuck me… I made a real hog outta m’self tonight…”, he groaned as you walked next to him. “Sorry you gotta see me like this, Darlin’.”

You could hear the embarrassment in his voice, and you felt bad for him. His belly, while full and bloated and bigger than you’d ever seen on him, was still smaller compared to some of the other Jackson men’s stomachs, but you knew if he kept this up, he’d be matching them in no time.

“Oh Joel… knock it off… I take it as a compliment. You actually smiled tonight… nothing to be sorry for.”, you responded in a matter-of-fact voice. “You enjoyed yourself.”

He scoffed, as you reached your porch, and opened the door. You helped him into the house, then closed the front door, both of you kicking off your boots.

“Good god… when the hell d’we get all these damn stairs?”, he groaned as he got to the bottom of the stairwell leading to the bedrooms on the second floor.

“Come sit on the couch… you’re not making it up the stairs anytime soon, Joel.”

You patted the back of the couch, then headed to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. “You want anything else?”, you called to him.

You heard him bark a laugh. “D’you see me right now? You think I could get anymore in’ere?”

You heard him sit heavily on the couch followed by him grunting “Dammit!”.

Walking in, you saw Joel sitting back, knees apart, and his favourite shirt unbuttoned to his chest, his undershirt riding up and exposing a strip of his belly and showed his pants were pushed open by his stuffed middle.

“What happened?”, you asked, walking back in with a glass of water for you both.

“Damn fuckin’… Jesus…”, he muttered, his cheeks blushing in deep scarlet. He noted you were still looking at him for answer. “My fuckin’ buttons popped. Wrecked my favourite shirt.”

You couldn’t help but smile. Joel, the hardened, battle-scarred killer who shot first and asked questions later, was blushing.

“It’s a good look on you.”, you teased as you sat in the chair next to the couch, leaning back and feeling emboldened by his vulnerability.

“What is?”, he sheepishly looked up at you.

“A big dinner.”, you smirked as you took a drink of you water, eyes on his.

He stared at you a moment then down to his round stomach, and he huffed a laugh and smiled to himself. You sat in a comfortable silence for a moment before he spoke.

“Didn’t know you could cook like that, Darlin’. Probably a good thing I didn’t know till we got here, too… couldn’t outrun shit with this full gut…”, he said, eyes still cast down and hand on his belly.

“Thank you.” It was your turn to blush, and before you could stop yourself, you said quietly, “Didn’t know you’d look so good like that.”

Realization hit both you and Joel about what you’d said, and you wanted to crawl in a hole as you saw his eyes go wide.

“Joel… oh my god… I am so…”, you started, covering your face and you didn’t see the grin that grew across Joel’s face and the look in his eyes as he watched you.

“I’m just findin’ all sorts’a things ‘bout you lately, darlin’...”, he teased in a low voice. “And here I thought you weren’t interested… and leavin’ me hanging.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and you swallowed hard before you had the nerve to look up at him. His brown eyes were dark and looked hungry? He trailed his stare up and down your body as you sat and subtly licked his lips.

“Joel… I…”, you stuttered, paused, then finally asked, “Wait… what did you say?”

He gave you a lopsided grin and sat back with a smug face and stated, “I swear, darlin’, I thought you weren’t interested.”

You just looked back at him with wide eyes while his smug demeanor shifted into a gentler and warmer gaze. He smiled and patted the seat next to him.

“Come over here, baby.”, he spoke softly.

You stood slowly and his eyes never left yours and he raised his hand to take yours as you sat next to him sideways to face him fully. His hand went to your waist, his thumb stroking you.

“You drunk or something?”, you questioned teasingly with a smile.

He sighed a small laugh, his eyes again trailing up and down your body. “Nope, darlin’. Just felt like it was ‘bout time I was honest since I’m learnin’ so much ‘bout you lately.” He sucked in a breath and licked his lips again when his eyes watched your chest move with your breathing. “You look good, darlin’. Real fuckin’ good.”

His eyes moved up to yours and you could see the want, the need you held back for so long, burning in his eyes. You moved forward, your hand cupping his face.

“So do you, Joel.”, you breathed as you kissed him.

You heard him sigh into the kiss and push into it, his grip on your waist tightened, fisting your shirt and pulling you closer. You instinctively ran your hand over his taught, full belly and he shivered as you did, his grip trying to pull you onto his lap now.

“Get up, baby… can’t bend that way right now… get on me…”, he instructed you in a breathy tone as you moved to staddle his lap. 

Your smaller frame was now right up against his swollen belly as you frantically made out on the couch.

“God damn… fuckin’ hell, darlin’… if weren’t so damned full, I’d do this properly in bed upstairs…”, he panted as you moved your kisses to his jaw and neck and began to rock your hips. His hands grabbed your hips and pulled them down to put more friction on his denim-clad cock. “Make you feel so fuckin’ good.”

He roughly jammed his hand between the two of you, cupping your heat as he began to make lude promises in whispers as you whimpered kisses along his neck.

“That’s right, darlin’… makin’ those pretty sounds… bet your pussy tastes better than your cookin’… how many nights I fucked my fist wishin’ it were your mouth…. Never thought you’d want an old fat fucker like me….”

You finally worked up the ability to push yourself back from him, and you looked down at his dark, blown-out pupils and his parted, panting lips, knowing you looked the same, while his hand stilled on your jeaned heat.

“You gonna let me fuck you, Darlin’?”, he breathed out, eyes pinned to yours.

You nodded as your hands moved to his shoulders and you pressed your mouth to his. He deepened the kiss for a moment, the pushed you up gently.

“Darlin’…”, his voice needy and almost desperate. “Baby, take your pants off…”

You stood up and removed your shirt and jeans, leaving you in your bra and panties. Joel huffed as he moved himself up off the couch, dropping his already open jeans, the grabbed your arm pulling you towards him.

“So fuckin’ pretty…”, he smiled before kissing you.

His arms wrapped around you and your hands went to his hair and around his shoulder. Unlike the previous kisses that were hasty and desperate, this one was slow, methodical, and carried over a year’s worth of unspoken emotions that neither of you were brave enough to put words to.

Joel pulled back first and softly smiled at you before he said is voice far too soft for the words he spoke.

“I’m gonna fuck you into this couch, Darlin’.”

His mouth is back on yours, hungry. Teeth and fervor, clashing between you. All that soft, gentle kissing was gone, Joel had given into what ever primal urges you had unearthed in him. You moan into his mouth as his hand grips your hair, pulling your head back.

“Joel… please…”, you begged breathlessly. “Take it... take me…”

He smiled darkly at you and pushed you face down over the arm of the couch, his hands going to the waist of your panties. He paused as if waiting for confirmation that you wanted this. You nodded and gave a strangled “uh-huh” and he pulled them down.

Joel let out a noise that you can only think was one from a starving man looking at a banquet feast. He dragged his thick finger through your slick folds, making you squirm and whimper.

“Oh, baby, you’re so fuckin’ pretty… bet your tight little cunt’s just waitin’… your pussy’s droolin’ for me, Darlin’... I’m gonna wreck you for any other man… wanna bury myself in your tight little cunt… so fucking pretty, baby.”

“Joel, please… fuck me… please… don’t tease!”, you cried out, unable to get any further friction from his fingers given the way you were splayed out on the couch arm.

“That’s right, baby… gonna take care of you, Darlin’… gonna make you feel good… patience, baby…gotta work you open for me.”

He removed his fingers and spit on them before he pumped one into your cunt, his thumb gently rubbing your neglected and throbbing clit. His finger was thick, and you could only imagine how big his cock was; you’d once got a quick glance at the outline before Jackson and if that was any indication, he was doing you a favour getting you primed and ready for him. He pulled back and added another finger after a moment, picking up his pace and you cried out and called his name as you gripped the couch cushion.

“So tight, Darlin’… tell me how bad you needed this, baby… tell me… tell me you need me.”

“I-I need this… Joel… need you, Joel… so bad… wanted this for so long… oh god… yes… there… right there, Joel… please, oh fuck!... Joel... Joel… keep going!”, you panted with a whine.

He pushed a third finger in, and you cried out and clawed at the couch cushion.

“Shhh, baby… come on, Darlin’… need to fuck you after this and I gotta get you open for me… need it to feel good for you… doing so good… I can feel it…. you’re close, Darlin’… let go for me, baby… come on.”

You could feel your orgasm building up, and when he curled his fingers and hit that sweet spot buried deep in your cunt, you came, crying out like a beaten dog.

“There you go… that’s it, Darlin’… sing for me, baby.”

He worked you through your orgasm, and when you felt like you could breathe normally, you tried to push yourself up. Joel’s hand rubbed in between your shoulder, and he gently pushed you back down.

“Darlin’, I’m too full to fuck you the way I outta… but you look to fucking good to pass up… you gonna let me have you here, baby?”. His tone was pleading and needy, but gruff, while his harsh, calloused hands gently rubbed you on you back where he pushed you down.

His words and the way he said them had your insides turn to mush and you could feel another gush of arousal slip from your puffy cunt.

“Please…”, was all your fuck-drunk brain could muster in a pathetic, breathy whine.

“Too good to me, Darlin’… too fuckin’ good to this fat old man.”, he groaned as he pushed his aching, hard cock into your tight, slippery cunt.

The feeling was too much. For a moment, you thought it wasn’t going to work, but he soothed you. He kept pushing himself in slowly, offering words of praise while his fingers dug into your hips.

“Takin’ me so good, Darlin’… that’s it, honey… so good… feel so fuckin’ good…”

He pushed in as far as his length could go and his tip kissed your cervix. Your lungs felt like they couldn’t fill with air you were so full, and you needed him to do something.

“You gotta relax, baby… I can’t move shit unless you relax…”

“Joel… please move… need you to move… so full… move, please…”, you whined, trying to catch your feet on the floor so you could push back into him.

He panted a chuckle and began to move, slowly at first, then increased his hip’s speed and intensity until he was ramming into you. The couch was squeaking on the wood floors from Joel’s weight repeatedly being forced against it. The couch’s rough material was rubbing harshly against your hip bones, but it was worth it for the sweet sting of Joel splitting you open as his heavy, full belly hitting your ass cheeks.

“Oh god… Joel… yes… yes… k-keep going… yes… fuck…”, you panted, tears in your eyes.

“So good… baby… you gotta come… come on, baby… you’re close, Darlin’… come on…”

The white-hot burn of your second climax crept down your spine and built up as his finger went to your clit, rubbing circles, pushing you over the edge. Your vision went blurry for a moment your body went rigid, your mouth open and high-pitched pants and moans escaped from it.

Joel’s hips sputtered as your climax pushed him to his own release. He let out a few deep, guttural grunts as he thrusted a few more times, spilling his hot seed into you.

He tried to not collapse onto you as he pulled out. He stumbled back into the armchair as you pushed yourself up off the couch’s arm.

“Fuck, Darlin’… wish you could stay bent over like that… sucha pretty sight…”, he huffed in a laugh as you got up. He patted his leg. “Come’ere, baby…”

You clumsily moved over to him and held your hands out. “No… up, Joel… Ellie could walk in the door at any moment and the last thing she needs to see is you stuffed to the gills with your dick out in the living room.���

“Sucha fuckin’ mouth on you!”, Joel grinned, and moved his hands to yours. “Better get a move on… let’s go to bed.”

You collected your abandoned clothing that was strewn throughout the living room and got Joel upstairs into his bedroom. You went to your room to clean yourself up and change, and there was a knock at the door. Upon opening it, Joel saw you and pushed his way in, closing it behind him.

He pulled you close to him, his belly pressed against your middle. You touched his face softly, gently running your fingers through his scruffy facial hair.

He smiled and kissed you tenderly and said softly against your mouth, “I got you, Darlin’… tell me you’ve got me… please…”

“I got you, Joel.” --------<3----------

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TAGLIST:

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[shuttershocky]

hiya shutters,

hope you're doing okay!! on a scale of sad wet cat to anxiety but with guns - how much are you looking forward to the jessica alter banner? if i can pick your brain for a bit, do you have any insights about her or the other ops coming our way?

Hi!

Jessica the Liberated is actually my favorite kind of 6 star: versatile, packing a lot of weird tech/utility, and damage high enough to do the job without being high enough that she becomes instapull Youtuber clickbait. As always, i don't recommend pulling beyond the guaranteed 10 roll when not on limited banners, since she can always spook you later (and will also definitely rerun), but I would raise her to E2max at once if I get her.

Jessica's big draw is that she's currently the only Defender with a summon—a shield that doesn't attack, and can only be deployed in the 4 tiles adjacent to Jessica, but has a +1 Taunt buff on itself. What's the point of a summon that doesn't attack you ask? There's 4 important pieces of info to consider

The Mobile Shield has stats almost as high as Jessica's, and is Block-2 to boot. When you consider that Jessica is a 6 star Defender, that's a really tanky summon. If you go all the way and max her module too, the mobile shield gets higher max HP and DEF than Jessica herself.

Jessica temporarily changes her direction to face the Mobile Shield. She's so far the only Operator able to turn around, useful when enemies try to surprise you out of nowhere, or when dealing with map gimmicks that involve Operator facing like Near Light's shadows.

Since the mobile shield doesn't attack, it can stall enemies that activate skills upon being attacked. Simply form an L shape direction (the long line is Jessica + shield, the short line is the enemy) so that Jessica herself can't shoot the enemy because the Shield is blocking them from entering her range. Flagbearers, Seaborn Reapers, any enemies whose ATK stats can't overcome the shield's DEF stats, you can stall them for a very long time, as the shield lasts 50 seconds.

It's not written in the skill descriptions on Gamepress but the Shield has +1 Taunt, meaning you can deploy operators after it and ranged enemies will still attack the shield. It's a free ranged tank on top of your regular tank! Oh and did I mention at E2 when the shield takes damage Jessica gets a 50% chance of getting +1 SP? If the shield draws fire, it also charges Jessica faster.

But let's say having a 2-in-1 tank package doesn't excite you. Let's go into her skills.

S1 is an infinite duration, AFK skill where Jessica modestly boosts her ATK and DEF by +70% while also increasing her mobile shield duration by +30s. As AFK skills go it's not the greatest, since it doesn't expand her modest attack range and the DPS is low at 800 (though has a modest 1000 DPH), and when it comes to AFK tanking you have Hoshiguma S2 (or my personal favorite, Croissant S1) to compete with, but if you need your AFK tank to also be dealing damage, it's not a bad deal. The mastery gains are huge too, Level 7 goes from 90 SP cost to 70, still large, but a 20 SP cut is a 20 SP cut.

S2 is a range expansion to Spreadshooter Sniper range, +75% ATK, speeds up her ATK interval to 0.3s from 1.2s, and has a very juicy 75% Physical and Arts dodge. Now Arts dodge is very rare even among dedicated tank units in Arknights, and 75% is also really damn high. For a skill that lasts 15 seconds and also boasts a very high 3.5k DPS, this is a damn neat tanking skill, even if still chance based. It should be noted that this skill gets a big upgrade when Sentinel modules are released, since the Sentinel module reveals invisible units inside a Sentinel's attack range. Limited but useful for most Sentinels since they only have two tiles of range normally, but Jessica's S2 expands it into spreadshooter range, making her both a decent invis counter while her really high DPS lets her kill them herself.

S3 expands her attack range by 1 tile, slows down her ATK interval to 1.8s, gives her +310% ATK and +80% DEF, while the Mobile Shield gets +170% DEF. If the mobile shield is deployed, Jessica fires a cannon shot that deals 250% of ATK as damage and stuns enemies in the AOE for 6 seconds. Uses 20 ammo.

Oh boy that description is so long I'm making a new paragraph for the explanation. It's funny, an AOE 6 second stun on a 40 second cooldown is practically Mostima's whole S2M3, except here it's just one feature tacked on to the rest of Jessica's S3. There's a ton of tricks you can do with the cannonshot I won't list down here (refer to the S3 section of this video if you want to learn them), but the general gist is this is a very high DPH (2.5k) tankbuster skill that gives Jessica 1.4k DEF and the shield 2k DEF, making the pair extremely tough. When you combine this skill with Jessica's ability to change directions, you have a very flexible skill that can AOE crowd, control tank, and tankbust all at once, and it uses ammo too so it won't waste any duration when there are no enemies. This lets Jessica S3 cheese enemies that freeze her (since she can't attack them, she won't run out of ammo so her DEF buff lasts forever), or lets her keep her DEF up the whole time while being pelted by ranged enemies she can't hit back yet. There are a ton of ways you can abuse this skill's various quirks, making Jessica the Liberated a favorite unit for players looking into making optimized clears for challenge stages.

_____

Now, whenever anyone talks Arknights meta, people always favor units that are the best of the best in one aspect (usually, DPS) and disregard everything else. However, I feel that's a bit disingenuous, given that Arknights' best game mode and probably the game mode that will outlive Arknights' live service itself is Integrated Strategies.

In the roguelike mode, versatility is king. An operator that can do two things but isn't the best at both will struggle to compete in normal Arknights when you can bring whoever you want, but when you're assembling a well-rounded team at the mercy of voucher rng? Suddenly second-best looks real attractive when they can also do a second role in a pinch.

Jessica the Liberated is one of the most valuable picks you can possibly get from a Defender voucher. Tanking? She can do it. Attacking? She can do it too. Anti-air? She's one of the very few Defenders able to do it, and she's also really good at it with S2. Crowd control? Cannon. Weird map layout? She can change directions. DP is tight? She costs 21, cheaper than a tank like Hoshiguma at 23. Invis reveal? She gets that too eventually, as if she wasn't packing enough options.

The only thing this girl's not doing is fucking healing, incredible given that she's interned at a hospital for years now and somehow came out of the experience with heavy weaponry and zero bandaids.

Ah but we're not done yet. Apart from packing enough utility in a single voucher to make Saria start sweating, Jessica also has a ton of different possible relic combos. To use Spinach relics with her cannon shot, simply deploy the mobile shield before S3, so as soon as S3 activates, she instantly fires the cannon with the Spinach boosting its damage. Any Phys+, ATK+, DEF+, or DEF- for enemies works as well as you would think on her too. Her S3 cannonshot can have its stun duration extended by relics, or deal extra arts damage by relics like Children's Puppet. Being a melee unit with extra range means Scout Scope works on her for both S2 and S3, while S2 having 75% Arts and Phys dodge means she can take advantage of dodge relics too. She's got a summon, so relics that boost summons can boost her shield, and IS4 has a new relic that boosts an operator's ATK when their summon is deployed too.

We can go on and on here, but you should get the idea now. Jessica never solved her anxiety, but she did bring an arsenal big enough to handle almost any situation you can throw at her. I think she's a great unit, and if you're a new player when you get her she's absolutely capable of being your rock.

[starstruckwillows]

— fashion obsessed s/o ♡

requested by @juneberrie <3

includes: annabeth chase, frank zhang, hazel levesque, jason grace, leo valdez, percy jackson, piper mclean — gn!reader

annabeth chase 🏢

has never given fashion much thought really, but the more she sees you pouring over magazines and sketches, the more she sees how it could be interesting. it’ll probably never be a priority to her, but she thinks it’s cool, and you two can side-by-side sketch dresses and buildings. she may even ask for design opinion, as you have a trained eye for colour, style and proportion, particularly on her more modern designs. if your clothes ever get mixed up, she’ll easily separate them by what’s a variety of colour, and style, and what’s navy tank tops and denim shorts.

frank zhang 🐻

fascination. genuine fascination. he never had time to pay attention to fashion or trends or anything like that, and camp jupiter didn’t boast it’s colour co-ordination skills all that much. he’s surprised he has any clothes that aren’t armour. but as you grow closer, he might take peeks at your bookmarked magazines to see what sort of thing you find fashionable, and put in an order. he won’t tell you, he’s too shy, but will wait for you to notice his new jumper or jeans or trainers. it’s few and far between times that he is able to scrap enough money together for them, so you make sure to notice any changes and compliment them.

hazel levesque 💎

it’s a shock for her to switch time periods and see the evolution of clothing. sometimes modern fashion will make her blush and stutter and turn her head. but seeing your passion for it has her coming around on the concept. i think hazel’s love language is gift giving, and i can see her grabbing you fashion related posters, magazines, sketchpads, or even items of clothing when she’s returning from a quest.

jason grace ☁️

he was so young when he joined lupa and later camp jupiter, that he honestly remembers very little about fashion. maybe a flash memory of his mother’s hollywood style, but that’s it. to have a partner who becomes genuinely excited by clothes is something he may never feel, but he’s happy if you’re happy, and he’ll readily offer any opinions you ask him for on outfits. except the boy doesn’t have the most advanced sense of co-ordination and style effect, so it’ll mostly be “i think you look great”, “they’re both beautiful”, etc. at least he means it. also - matching clothes. not full outfits, but a jumper, a pair of custom converse, or something more subtle like a bracelet.

leo valdez 🪛

leo likes to create things, and ‘things’ isn’t limited by much. he’s constantly finding your sketches and adding things to them such as fire-proof thread, concealments for daggers and other assorted weaponry. every design you come up with, he’s turned it into a full suit of stylish armour. he loves your clothes and shoes and will make a mess if you ask him to go get something from your wardrobe.

percy jackson 🐳

indulges you if you want to talk about it - it’s not something he thinks about much before meeting you, but ever since, he’ll pass clothing stores and think of you, and pick up fashion-related items as he goes. he opens his drawers and thinks of you. he now looks at the tattered shoes he’s worn for four years and thinks maybe it’s time to upgrade. accidentally and with no thought at all, percy has a decent sense of style. he will also let you dress him up to your heart’s content.

piper mclean 🤎

fashion and style goes against a lot of what piper lived her life by. she doesn’t hate it, but she was surrounded by it too much. but upon meeting you, and discovering archetypes of street fashion, and a wider variety of styles, she finds it’s actually fun and starts to love it. she will never follow a trend of fashion, but she doesn’t mind if you do. she’s the most supportive girlfriend ever, and will happily watch/listen while you engage with your interests. will also let you customise her clothes - e.g embroidered jeans, painted shoes, etc.

🏷️ — none yet

[utilitycaster]

Hi there,

You said in the answer you just gave that, "the Nein mechanically played really well to the casts strength." Could you talk more about that? I'm someone who hasn't actually played D&D before, and everything I've learned has been through osmosis with CR, and your more crunchy posts have been really interesting to read, too.

Hi anon,

Thank you! I can answer but this is definitely pretty subjective in terms of how I see the classes they played and my view of the cast's mechanical strengths so know that you're getting one very specific perspective here. You will notice as a theme that I am not one for indecision.

Anyway: I think Liam and Travis are both notable within the cast for being decisive, in and out of combat, and both played characters with a huge array of options, as arcane utility spellcasters (plus Fjord's melee and, later, paladin abilities) and so having people who can make a quick, confident decision and stick to it with their spellcasting was crucial. Travis also has, as I once put it, court sense, and so having a character with options at basically any range in combat (from melee to eldritch blast range) was extremely good for him. I also just think they like utility casting, which, as my url indicates, I obviously think is awesome; but not all people like it and that's okay! I also just think they like it - both have mentioned on 4SD that Orym and Chetney are much more limited in what they can do.

I think Sam can get really hung up on the optimal and ideal thing to do at times. Really, the best way to put it - and FCG's death is a great example actually - is that Sam is not precious at all with his own characters but is worried about letting other people down. So I think the fact that Veth had a limited but interesting number of choices was actually quite good for him - he could make creative decisions (and even think outside the box, as with fluffernutter) but didn't have an endless list. It also still provided spellcasting, which is important to him.

I think Marisha is one of the strongest players on adding flavor to combat which is purely non-mechanical but is important in actual play if you are playing a character who does mostly the same thing. For what it's worth a lot of the things Beau played to her strengths were on the RP side (give the notetaker a character who has a reason to know a lot of lore) and also, I like monks but they are very straightforward characters to play in battle for the most part so there's not a ton to say, but I think she had a good sense of melee combat and would love to see her play more melee characters; Keyleth was obviously incredibly versatile, but this meant she did spend a lot of time in melee! Marisha also has decent instincts for tanking (Keyleth as regular tank thanks to wildshape and Beau as a dodge tank) so Beau allowed her to exercise that.

Taliesin is also a generally strong player in terms of mechanics and I think, honestly, his strength is that he doesn't seem to have a strong preference on what sort of class he plays and therefore was able to lean into a character who was almost purely support without any resentment over not getting the kill. In general I think Taliesin is very good at just...doing what his character is built to do, which seems damning with faint praise but honestly I think people who get really obsessive about Subverting Their D&D Class are annoying so this is praise and respect.

Laura is an interesting one in that I think she really likes to do Big Damage but she actually is quite skilled at utility casting. Having Caduceus definitely allowed Jester to shine in that she didn't have to serve as dedicated healer, but she also was a strong healer. Laura can be somewhat precious about her characters and I think being a healer is a good antidote for that in that you have the power to heal yourself if you get worried (honestly, this is why I started off as someone who played healers until I allowed myself to accept that dying on graph paper, as Taliesin once said, is fine). Being a prepared caster is also good for someone who, like Laura, can be competitive - it's interesting because she and Sam have a lot of similarities but I think respond in different ways, and Laura having a lot of options and knowing she can change them works well for her approach.

Ashley is also quite strong at flavor descriptors but I also think she likes doing damage, and I think Yasha was very much a "right character at the right time" for her in that barbarians are complicated in the sense of maneuvering, but not in the sense of options - it's a much easier character to jump back into after being away because she is, for the most part, going to be hitting things with a sword. I think she's doing a great job with Fearne too, but wildfire druid is MUCH harder to put down and pick up.

Really, in short, I think the cast members who thrive on having a ton of decisions had them; the cast members who at times have trouble picking what to do had a much more limited list which helped them; and those who don't really have a strong preference had other stylistic elements that were a good fit.

(I also happen to think, as I alluded to especially for Marisha's portrayal of Beau, that the Nein played to the cast's RP strengths as well and/or were given the time and space for the cast to grow into things they were less confident doing, eg: Travis and romance; and I think that does bleed into combat in that it helps you take actions that feel right for the character which in turn helps the other people around you predict what you'll do. It's the drift compatibility.)

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

Most armored units are very bad at being tanks.

That is They have high defense and can tank hits. But they're bad at being tanks.

A tank is good at protecting their allies from harm and making sure they can take the enemies' attacks. But they struggle:

Enemies will often ignore units with high defense because they can't hurt them. Unless they have ways of melting through their defense like magic, armorslaying weapons, Luna(?).

They often take more damage due to their low speed or aren't able to defend due to low mobility, preventing them from being on the front lines.

Outside of defend maps, they have a hard time being in positions to protect their allies.

This is sad for me. I like armored units in theory.

So, how would I fix them if I had the chance?

Give them enough base speed to not get doubled, and a decent speed growth. Alternatively, Wary Fighter.

Give them Provoke. They should draw enemy aggro away from squishy unitd.

Give them Chain Guard from Engage. I never got why Qi Adepts get that ability and not Armored units.

Alternatively, give them skills that allow them to protect or support adjacent units.

Make maps smaller and slower. If that isn't an option, give them ways to contribute on larger maps.

If castle defense is a thing like in FE4, make it so castle get attacked more often, and armored units are specifically better at defending them than other units.

Idk if this is too much, or not. But I feel these would help give them a better identity.

.