#tango is a silly case though

[yaolmao]

Not to state the obvious, but you post exclusively Bungou Stray Dogs and Tango and that is really funny to me. Your style is very cute.

It’s a weird combo isn’t it 😭

Basically nothing similar between the two. Bsd, a silly show with its silly characters, and a silly red-stoner man Mr Tek whom I love.

Thank you so much though <3

[yacinthemorning]

Bamboozled by the Bird

Chapter 1

[next]

Summary: Tango is the muscle for the Tuff Guys, a gang that deals primarily in money lending. How he got here he can't remember anymore, and his only moments of respite from his awful job is hanging out with Scarland's accident-prone mascot. His life gets infinitely more complicated though, after he's assigned to put the pressure on a new client who seems to know way too much about him. The situation quickly escalates from there in ways Tango could have never imagined.

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (romantic(?)), Bdubs & Etho & Skizz & Tango (frienemies), Jimmy & Lizzie (familial)

Warnings: Mild harm to animals, Attempted animal killing, Organized crime, Violence, Extortion, Threats, Hidden identity

[AO3 Link]

The trash can slammed into the wall, contents scattering across the floor. The punk crawled onto his knees, coughing and clenching at his stomach. No time to catch his breath. He shrieked as claw-like nails dug into his scalp, yanking him up by the hair until Tango could see his face reflected in the man's sunglasses. Tango tilted his head, then plucked the glasses off his nose. Tears filled the dumb kid's eyes, a bruise swelling one half shut. He hissed in sympathy. "That ain't gonna look good tomorrow."

The comment sparked some last glimmer of fight in him, his face twisting into a beaten snarl, "Fuck you-!"

Tango's knee connected with his groin, the punk devolving into a wheeze as he curled in on himself. "Watch your language, there's kids around here." The blond chastised. On cue there was a chorus of delighted screams echoed through the alley. Behind the tall fence down the way the Scarland's infamous Bamboozle Coaster rushed past on its old fashioned wooden tracks.

His target did not seem to care. He sobbed, unable to speak any further. Tango finally dropped him, slipping the sunglasses over the bridge of his own nose. "We're increasing your interest by forty percent."

"For- You gotta be kidding me!" The kid's voice broke as he cried. "How am I supposed to pay that? You old fogies-"

"Hey, this old fogey went easy on you since you’re just a little boy." Tango drawled, playing with his new glasses. He'd had to make some adjustments, but the colour was just his style. "You got one week, and it ain't gonna be me dealing with you if you don't have the money by then. Now get outta here!"

Despite his backtalk the kid didn't need to be told twice to bolt. The alley was left empty, only the mess left behind.

Tango sighed. The audacity of some young folks always shocked him. At least their older customers knew it was their own fault for turning to the Tuff for money. They didn't accept their fate any more gracefully but at least they didn't usually run their mouth.

Ever since Skizz retired, though, it was Tango's problem to deal with the brats he'd accumulated that treated their business like a silly little piggy bank they could borrow from willy-nilly. It was a financial mess and now it fell on Tango to have to clean up. He passed a shop whose front was more mirror than window, forced to get a good look at himself and the several inches most the crowd behind him had on him. There were wrinkles in his bright shirt, something he never quite got out of them. Not exactly the most intimidating of their guys on the case. Then again, they used to think that guy was Skizz.

Well, he supposed Skizz reaped what he sowed. Tango wasn't making the same mistake. He wouldn't give their boss an excuse to stab him in the back. Again.

"Man, I need to find a new job." He grumbled to himself, drowned out by the screams of the roller coaster goers on the other side of the fence. A joke, of course. Like his life. This was a lifelong career sorta gig, unfortunately for him.

An odd commotion broke Tango out of his self-loathing. There was a large double gate open in the fence. One of the staff entrances to Scarland, clearly meant for food trucks to get inside. That was not who occupied it currently. Instead it was a group of college students, led by one Karen-in-training, it would seem, screaming at- a bird. A very large, very blue bird. Solidarity, one of the mascots for the Bamboozler Coaster, if Tango recalled the posters right. Its cheery face bobbled while his arms flailed about, trying desperately to close the gates together if not for the students standing in the way.

"P-Please, I can't!" cried the poor actor, trying to close the gate once and for all. Baby Karen outright put her hand on the gate, then on the mascot.

"You owe us this for kicking us out! We did nothing wrong!" Her voice slurred, and one look at the group's blotchy faces told Tango all he needed to know. At a family park even instead of just going to a bar- though given the fact that it wasn't even noon most weren't open yet. Real classy.

"Please, ma'am."

"At least refund our tickets!"

"I'm not authorized to do that. Please just leave quietly."

Something went flying over them. A backpack. It beamed the poor mascot right in the head, sending him tumbling backwards onto his butt. The group laughed. Alright, now they'd really gone too far.

"Hey! What do you think yer doing?" Tango snapped and began marching over. At first only one of the students turned their head. As soon as they saw Tango their eyes went wide and they quickly nudged their companions. By the time Tango reached where they had been they'd scattered completely, leaving Tango alone with Solidarity.

The guy was adjusting his enormous mask when Tango held out a hand. It took both his wings to get a good enough grip for Tango to pull him back onto his feet. "Thank you. Gosh that scared the life out of me."

"I didn't know being a mascot was such a perilous career path." Tango quipped, eyebrow raised. The actor within muffled a laugh, while his wings brushed the worst of the dirt away.

"It's my fault, I should have called security... I thought I could lead them out quietly." He paused, then hissed. "I broke my tail!"

The bird jerked, spinning to reveal his tail. Indeed, it was bent and torn from the fall, in serious need of a professional. Tango reached out, tugging at one of the massive felt feathers. Solidarity jumped and yelped as if it were his own tail. Wings flew up to cover the break. "Oh, this is going to come out of my pay-cheque!"

"That's fuckin' lame." Tango hissed in... Solidarity.

The mascot jumped again, a pointer feather wagging in front of his beak before jabbing towards Tango, "Language! There's children around here!"

What was Tango supposed to do but burst out laughing? Arguing was off the table when he'd said the same thing not ten minutes ago. And the way the actor shimmied around in the suit was nothing short of ridiculous. Tango could believe he was a real life cartoon character if not for the fact that the costume's expression never changed. So, Tango laughed.

Even if his face was hidden. Solidarity's whole body slumped, wings rocking at his side before they went up to cover his face. "Oooh! Quit it!" He shrieked, shaking like an ice cube was shoved down his shirt. It only made Tango double over. Another whine that sounded far too much like an actual bird escaped the mascot.

"You're a riot, birdie!" Tango finally managed to pull himself together, wiping a tear from his eye.

"And you're something else! I just got attacked and here you are, laughing at me!"

"Well it's not every day you run into a canary getting shaken down."

"Canary! A canary!" Solidarity flailed, as if he would take to the skies any moment. "I'm a parrot, thank you very much! A canary, he says!"

Tango had to admit, he was taken aback by the outrage in Solidarity's voice. It was practically a different man standing before him now than the one who could barely say no to a college kid a few minutes ago. All over a little light teasing about his costume. Talk about mixed up priorities.

"Well, Mister Parrot," He drawls, trying to compose himself. Act casual. "As funny as you are I got business elsewhere. So, unless you got another group of drunk students hiding somewhere I think I ought to get going."

"Oh, um. Okay." The costumed man shuffled awkwardly, as if looking for something. Whatever it was he gave up with a huff and awkwardly bowed. "Thank you, again. I, um, I don't have anything right now but-"

"I don't need nothin', yelling at a bunch of brats after my week was gift enough." Tango assured. When Solidarity slumped in his feathers he spun on his heels, waving goodbye. "See y'round!"

There was a long silence as Tango walked away, before he heard hurried shuffling and a heavily muffled, "S-see you!"

It was, on a grand scale, such a minor interaction. Just a couple minutes at most. Yet Tango couldn't keep it off his mind for the rest of the weekend. The baffling becostumed man was, perhaps, the only small ray of sunshine Tango had gotten in a long time since Skizz was retired.

And how pathetic was that? Getting yelled at for mis-speciesing a bird outfit after scaring a bunch of teenagers. Most people would likely consider it the low note of their week. How bad was his life becoming, really, if that was his highlight. Etho was right, he really ought to start speaking to a therapist or something. Then again, he had no desire to dance around his career with a professional and potentially put them at risk of his bosses' wraths. He'd just live his miserable life and cope on his own, clinging to pathetically tiny moments of joy, like getting yelled at by a mascot.

It helped, a little. Thinking about it while on missions like his current one. Standing outside a sad little trailer that would have been condemned if half the park didn't look exactly like it. Chipped panelling, a cracked window, weeds consuming what ground wasn't tainted by urine from feral animals and grease. There were signs, though. Plastic pots of strawberries that were sad but still blooming. A hosed down litter mat hanging from a fence next to a laundry line of shirts with the pale marks of removed stains. A bike hidden in the weeds from thieves. Whoever lived here hadn't given up, was at least trying.

Shame that trying involved taking an exorbitant loan from the Tuff Guys.

If Tango stopped to mourn every innocent target, though, he'd never get his job done. Then it would be him on the chopping block.

So, tango waited. His target had just headed to the mailboxes and was meandering back, flipping through spam. A tall broad-shouldered man who could have been a celebrity if he ate better and worked out. Instead he was scrawny and pale, with bags under his eyes and his blond hair the only thing that looked healthy and groomed. The poverty wasn't a lifelong situation for him, Tango guessed, but a more recent development.

Not that it was his business. The best it could tell Tango was that the guy might have more vivid delusions that he could ever hope to pay off what he owed. The amount was frankly embarrassing, especially if these were the results. All gone into debts, poor guy.

Tango waited for the man to reach the step up to his door before he went in. There was the click of the lock, then a muffled squeak, shoulders going stiff under Tango's arm- only slightly made awkward by the height difference. "Jimmy, buddy, how's it going!" He drawled, bumping his head against the other's. "Been waiting for you, how you doing?" A small act, something vaguely resembling a natural interaction. Not that the people around there weren't familiar with a shake down.

A shudder had already formed in the man, brown eyes wide. It was lucky he'd already unlocked the door, there was no way he'd be able to get the key in otherwise. He wouldn't last long. A tight smile stretched across his face, some sad attempt at playing along. "H-hey. I- um- I'm..." Tango didn't know humans could even get that high pitched. No, he wouldn't last long at all.

"Well?" He gave the man a small mercy in taking the lead. "Don't be a stranger, invite me in!"

"Righ- Yeah. Right." He nudged the door, the hinges barely moving. So, Tango gave it a kick, and quickly dragged him inside. With one practised motion he threw Jimmy away from the doorway and slammed it closed before leaning against it. No escape.

Jimmy braced against the pantry. The whole camper shook with his weight as he was only kept upright by the tight quarters. Not the worst Tango had seen. It was mostly clean, in that the pile of dishes were properly washed, the papers on the table were in dollar store folders, and the plastic surfaces were mostly stained with aging yellow rather than anything unknown. It still had someone's entire life crammed into a glorified hallway. Only a few pictures graced the walls, most being his target with either a pink haired woman or a brunet man, or both.

There was a smell, a mix of citrus soap, febreeze, pasta sauce, and the slightest hint of litter. From the bedroom a cat meowed. Jimmy only took his eyes off Tango long enough to shush the cat, muttering under his breath, "Go back to sleep, Norman." As if the little creature could understand.

"So, two hundred sixty-k, huh?" Tango said as he continued to examine the home for anything. Any valuables, any luxuries, any vaults. Signs of the money in question. There wouldn't be, in all likelihood. Tango could already tell, whatever this guy needed the money for was earnest. To pay off a different debt, or maybe medical bills. "What's a guy like you need that kinda cash for, anyways?"

"I still have two weeks before my next payment." Jimmy stuttered, pressing himself back against his bedroom door. The cat on the other side pawed under it, but he seemed determined to keep it safe more than even himself.

"Yeah, but y'see," Tango rolled his head to the side and pulled his switchblade from his pocket. A few flicks even a kid could safely do was enough to scare a guy like this. "We've been in this business quite a while, Jimbo, and we're pretty good at feeling out our clients. And you?" He pointed the tip towards the shaking man. "You were nearly late with your last deadline. So, the boss sent me here to check up on you. Make sure you're alright."

"It was just bad timing with my pay-cheque. I'll have the money on time this month."

Tango sighed. Pushing off the door, he wandered up to Jimmy, still playing with the blade as loud as he could make it. Metal scraped metal as the blade slipped into its sheath and sprung back out while Tango put himself mere inches from his target's face. It was a miracle the tears glossing the edge of Jimmy’s eyelids hadn't spilled over yet. "And I'm sure you will." He muttered. "But hey, I'm a nice guy, and don't let my good looks fool ya, I'm pretty good with numbers too. So, maybe..." black painted claws dragged up Jimmy's jacket until they reached his collar. Tango fiddled with the denim for a moment, fraying it more than he fixed it, before he pulled it into a tight fist. "I could help teach you how to budget a bit."

Jimmy shrieked as he was flung across the room, crashing into the linoleum floor. In the same motion Tango tore open the bedroom door and reached down. Maybe in a larger space where the bed wasn't also drawers the cat could have hid, but in the half a foot of space it'd squished itself into between the bed and door it had nowhere to run before Tango latched onto its scruff and yanked it up.

It screeched, but he was surprised to find it didn't lash out. Maybe that startled Tango more than the scratches and bites he expected, but it paused his blade long enough that the sad thing's wide eyes locked with his own. A beast as pathetic as its owner.

It was enough time for Jimmy to clamber onto his knees and shout, "Wait, please!"

Tango glanced over to him. The tears had finally started running down his face. The depth of the terror in his eyes was normally something Tango only saw when he had a weapon against his target's own head, not a damn cat. "Please don't hurt him. Please. I'll have your money, I swear. He doesn't even understand, he’s just a cat. Don't do this, please."

The thing was, Tango knew how to kill. He wouldn't have ended up in this line of work if he didn't. And animals? They were an easy way to get the point across. The difference in expenses wouldn't mean jack, but it got the point across. But Tango also wasn't heartless. More of a dog person than cats, but big beady eyes were big beady eyes, so he'd always done it quick. When the anger of whatever nip they gave was fresh and before he could think.

But what was he supposed to do now, with the tan little creature hanging like a rag, curled up on itself with its tail hugged to its belly and a nervous purr in its throat?

He had a job to do, though. A point to make, money to ensure.

Tango growled, as frustrated with himself as the situation, wondering if he was really doing this even as he unzipped the top of his jacket and shoved the cat down in it. Jimmy was stuck between sobbing and being stunned too much to stop him. Tango kicked him back down to the ground, out of the way of the door.

He gave the man one last glance. "Fifteen in two weeks. Don't give me reason to come back."

There was no time for Jimmy to respond, no time for him to point out it was higher than he was supposed to pay this time. Tango slammed the door shut once more and didn't look back.

The bundle in his jacket struggled and cried, but Tango didn't open it up again until he was sat in his car, doors locked. He deflated against his seat, letting the cat leap into the back seat. "What the hell have I done to myself?" He hissed. No one responded, except for a pitiful little mewl.

[powderblueblood]

I know this has been done a million and one times, but Eddie just vibing at the gas station. Something inevitably goes wrong. Please and thanks dear Powder

jo my love i present to you 1k+ words of eddie munson's no good very bad wednesday night no warnings! just silly. and acab includes hopper

So it's eight thirty on a Wednesday night, the very armpit of the week, and Eddie's standing there under the glare of the gas station fluorescents. Right in the heart of the snack aisle.

"What's become apparent to me, Sam, is-is-is-is that it's fear. It's the iron claw of the bonds of being a scaredy-cat little bitch that has stunted me fundamentally."

Loaded. So stoned he's stalagmite.

"See, I'm a capable guy. Many capes have I, but it's like, I've finally mastered the fuck-you-chip-on-my-shoulder adolescent thing that I'm reluctant to let it go. I'm skirting around putting on my big boy pants. I'm failing my courses. I'm dumbing myself down to stick around high school, seemingly, on purpose. Because I'm afraid!"

Eddie's pouring his heart out to the narcoleptic octogenarian cashier, the guy that likely built this place out of shiplap and bullet casings way back when it was a horseshit stop for Buffalo Bill's Wild West Freak Show or whoever.

"And I know what you're thinking." Sam isn't thinking anything. Sam's sleeping with his eyes wide open. "Why not really, grr, take root with that family tree, huh? Drop out like my old man and my uncle did? Well, I'll tell ya--"

Eddie wonders, in the middle of his own sentence, what it'd be like to hitch his wagon to an operation like that and coast solely on being a moorless weirdo.

He's really stoned, okay?

"--high school is easy to fail in. Real life? Isn't."

And look, before you get all, he's got good reason. It's been a particular drag of a week, a real sandpaper to the balls kind of kick off. Corroded Coffin's Tuesday night engagement at the Hideout was a special kind of bust--not least of all because the slapdash stage finally gave way under all that threatening creaking, and almost took Jeff's neck with it.

The neck of his bass and his human body. Neither of which Jeff's ass is in any position to fix.

So Eddie's got a band that's bruised and barely in the pocket, and a mouth that won't stop running.

“WSQK 94.5, The Squawk!” Eddie echoes the radio, complete with eagle screech, as the opening chords of Renegade by Ted Nugent & the Amboy Dukes pick up. "Hawk-ening right back to a time when Ted Nugent hadn't yet sold all his actual guitaristry to that pissant Wango Tango-ing... You know what, man, this is it!"

His ringed hands come down on the counter all a-clatter, chip crumbs flying out the bag he hasn't quite paid for yet.

"Lock me in a room full of records under a radio tower and throw away the key, I mean, I would be good to fucking go. None of that shock-jock shit, either. I'd play nothing but real music. The Hawkins Midnight Rambler, huh?" But Sam isn't paying sufficient enough attention. "Think I got a face for radio, Sammy?" Because he's asleep.

It takes a couple of molasses-slow moments for Eddie to register this, he himself still working through his own big sluggishness. I mean, damn, even waving a hand in front of the old man's face is an effort.

He's out, though, like a light. Makes Eddie wonder how this place stays open, much less unrobbed.

Well. Careful what you wish for there, buddy.

His hand is slinking toward a Three Musketeers, ready to nab it from the shelf right under old Sam's nose and write him a little IOU for whenever he next has the cash, but Eddie senses a shuffling behind him.

"Put your fuckin' hands in the air!"

Oh? "Dude, what?"

There's this guy behind him, this guy whose corporeal form Eddie can't be a bajillion percent sure isn't, like, a vivid hallucination, with pantyhose tugged over his face. Poking a pistol around under the cover of his camo jacket. The whole bit.

"Put your hands in the air or I put a hole through ya, asshole! You too, old man!"

Eddie tuts, hands still very much hovering near that candy bar.

"What's the fucking hold up, you and your grandpa tryin' to get shot or somethin?!" this very serious masked assailant demands.

"He's asleep, guy," Eddie says. "He can't hear you."

"What?!" our villain splutters, "Well... wake the fuck up! I ain't got all day and I want what's in that reg--"

He goes to point his still-concealed fuckin' sharp shooter or whatever it is he has at Sam's face, and Eddie, with this strange surge of protectiveness and complete buffoonery, nudges his arm away.

"Don't! Number one, dude's a narcoleptic, you could give him a heart attack if you just woke him up like that--number two, I saw him pull a sawed off from under that counter one time and you're in way closer range so the hole he blows through you is gonna be, like, way bigger and... like, he'll kill you and shit. Be cool."

The would-be thief groans. Oh, god, Eddie just knows he thought this hit job would be way easier. In and out, quick and dirty, wham-bam-thank you Sam.

Eddie nearly laughs. He does laugh, actually, because he's still super-mega fucking high and can't exactly control the noises that come out of his mouth, so next thing the dude is rounding on him with the thing in his pocket. Eddie actually puts his hands up this time. Feels a cold shock go through him somewhere that he really hopes isn't piss.

You ever get that? Get so stoned you constantly think you're peeing yourself? Anyway.

"Get the fuck behind the counter! If the old man can't open the register for me, you're gonna do it!"

"But I don't know how." Liar. Lying ass. Eddie knows how to work a goddamn register. It's not like he's tucking that money from the Hideout straight into his garter belt. Though he could. Maybe he should. Maybe he should buy a garter b--

"I'm gonna tell you how, dickhead!"

"What's in it for me?"

"Is that a fucking joke, wise guy?"

Only kinda. Closed mouths never get fed. "Worth a shot."

But Eddie doesn't really love this dude's tone, so he obediently scoots behind the counter, and almost gets distracted by all the copies of Penthouse Sam is keeping back here. He knew the bastard was holding out on him.

"Um..." Eddie gingerly starts, hands just sort of floating in the direction of the register in a way he hopes to Christ won't disturb Sam and wake him into a world of cardiac calamity.

So the guy tells him what buttons to push, clearly a man of the trade, a fellow familiar with wiling countless hours away behind a counter, which makes Eddie be all, why don't you steal from your own job, you shyster and keeps hitting the wrong buttons on purpose.

But dear old Sammy must have this thing rigged to make Eddie look like an asshole, because out pops the fucking drawer anyhow!

This guy, the pantyhose head, the robber, lets out an honest-to-god yippee! as he reaches over to snatch that cash.

And Eddie, working solely on instinct at this point, narrows his lovely red-rimmed eyes and shoves the drawer right in on the unlucky fuck's fingers.

He screams. And Eddie screams. And something falls out of his pocket. And Eddie leans over the counter, expecting to see and hear the shiny clatter of a pistol hit the lino.

But there is no such hardware.

It was a banana in his pocket. He was not happy to see you.

"What the fuck, man!" they chorus in near unison. They could have been brothers in another life, says some disembodied voice in the back of Eddie's head.

But then, something yellow flies towards Eddie's face and the shock of it knocks him right back into the lotto tickets and cigarettes. Thunk! His head knocks far too hard against the fire extinguisher and now there's two unconscious guys behind the counter.

Now, I don't know if you've ever had a banana thrown in your face by a masked assailant before, but I would call that something of an overreaction.

Anyway, he wakes up to police sirens and that Callaghan dweeb hauling him up by the front of his Hellfire shirt.

"Sshsjesus, Officer Handsy, buy a guy dinner first," Eddie slurs, head pounding. Callaghan's dorky Buddy Holly glasses have an aura around them that he unconsciously tries to swat away.

"He's resisting arrest!" Callaghan yells.

"Keep it down, I have a headache!" Eddie blinks once, twice, twenty-million times and is still having a tough time taking stock of his surroundings. Cash drawer's open and empty, and Sam is nowhere to be seen. "Didja catch the guy or what? He had a banana gun. Threw it right at me."

"Pipe down. Edward Munson, you're under arrest for armed robbery--"

"--wait, hold on--"

"--endangering the elderly--"

"--hold the fuck on!"

"--and swearing at a police officer!" Callaghan clicks the cuffs on and Eddie's about to burst, he's so mad and his head is pounding with such a fury. Shuffling him out into the forecourt and into the squad car like some kind of penguin idiot!

"That last thing isn't even real!" he spits, "None of this is real--I was trying t--fuck, did you not hear me about the banana gun?!"

"Reminds me to drug test him when we get back to the station," Callaghan puffs as he slides into the passenger seat.

"No one's drug testing anybody," Chief Hopper grumbles from behind the wheel. "We don't even have those facilities. Plus, kid doesn't even have any of that stolen cash on him."

"Thank you!" Eddie barks from his seat in the back. He can't really seem to sit upright, and he doesn't know whether to contribute that to the lump that's risen on the back of his head or the drugs that are definitely still in his system.

"W--well, why are we arresting him, then?" Callaghan blubs. Which is actually a salient point.

The Chief shrugs. "I'unno. Wednesday night. Somethin' to do."

[raincoveredgarden]

Some silly HermitCraft age regression headcanons I like!

Remember, these are entirely my opinion, you don’t have to agree! I might not even use them in my writing! It’s just for fun! :DD

- Keralis and Xisuma both have a very strong parental instinct! Though Keralis has the ability to tell when anybody is even slightly regressed. (He won’t tell a soul how he knows.)

- Ren has a very hard time not regressing when he sees another regressed person. It’s almost on sight.

- Ren chews through most chews he’s given and often feels very bad about it. Though his friends are very understanding and help him eventually feel better about it.

- Impulse and Etho are both caregivers and regressors!

- Grian is a complete cuddle bug while little. He has to be touching someone at all times, hand holding, hugs, cuddles, the whole shebang. He tries to deny it afterwards, chalking it up to avian instincts, but deep down he knows it’s true.

- Scar tries to have a stuffie with him at all times, he sees them like they’re alive and treats them as such.

- Bdubs can nap absolutely anywhere and everywhere. You could go to any hermit and they could give you a whole list of the strangest places they’ve found him sleeping. (Could be seen as age regression or not!)

- During the hippies days in s6, Impulse, Grian, and Ren would have little playdates, they’d play all kinds of board game or hide and seek. Sometimes Scar, False, and Doc would come over too! Or they’d all go to area 77, and have big movie nights!

- I have a feeling Decked Out 2 is a very overwhelming game, so Tango had a calm down/sensory room put in place in case anyone needed it! (Could also be seen for age regression or not!)

[hmshermitcraft]

HEH… NEVER FEAR… PEARLDAPH ANON IS HERE… 🦸

weekly theme submission : little guy ❤️

pearl comes back from session 1 of wild life only to find out that grian DUCKED UP! with the code and now everyone is stuck with their sizes till next session. she is Not Happy understandbly but hey might as well get used to it!

so then shes sent mail by zed asking if she was willing to come over so he can study the case a little. pearl is like. Well got nothing better to do and goes over to do so. Or Tries to but bro is so little her legs are quite teensy

zed comes over and cute shenanigans entail. hes like awwww <:-) so silly! ❤️ and Pearl just kind of Suffers in embarrassment ❤️

maybe she falls asleep at some point and zed is like that one reactiom image of the guy gripping their heart crying

any. Way thats all i got For theme hope i cooked

by yours truly, 🌙🌾

She did theorise travelling to Zed's via mail, but she doesn't think Tango or Etho are in any shape (literally) to fix it if she broke it... So, Zed had to come to her!

As much as Zed fawns over her cuteness, he has genuine experiments to do! They test Pearl's jump height, speed, the effect of potions and food, block placing and breaking... Anything Zed or Pearl can think of (because she has plenty of ideas too. Like how long it takes her to drink a bowl of soup.)

It turns out the comfiness of big pillows experiment was too successful though... Now Zed is forced to watch over her until she wakes up. For science. Of course.

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

In honor of him taking care of Gem's inbox, Jimmy Solidarity versus emails.

If Jimmy had one flaw, it was being too damn nice.

If he had any flaws, of course. Which he didn't. He was tall and handsome and amazing and a genius, and more than capable of taking on any task he set his mind to! Including this one, which he had taken on out of the goodness of his heart, because he was just that awesome. He could handle sorting out a few emails.

A few...thousand...emails.

Jimmy flopped back on his bed, and the holographic UI of his communicator followed him. He stared up at the red notification label that loomed over him menacingly, casting a shadow over the warm sunny day and familiar chatter of the Hub that he could hear outside his open window. A few hours and he'd barely made a dent in Scar's inbox. Never-opened newsletters, expired coupons, and obvious scams were deleted with barely a second glance, while receipts and important records were sorted into folders.

One folder was earmarked for fan mail, even the ones full of criticism rather than compliments, though anything that was outright vitriol Jimmy made the executive decision to delete. Another folder was dedicated to requests from sponsors and potential collaborators, things that Scar needed to look at himself in the near future and reply to. The ones with recently-passed deadlines were responded to with a canned apology - except in certain cases where Jimmy recognized the senders' names and got a little creative with his response. He hoped Joel appreciated the haiku.

Why had he made that stupid joke about being everyone's personal assistant while they were gone? Worse, why had he said "no really" when they joked back?

He knew why. It was the shadows under Scar's eyes, and the exhausted tremor when he gripped his cane or chair wheels. It was the tightness in Impulse's laugh and the way his tail flicked low to the ground. It was the way Gem's face fell when she opened her communicator to see another email notification, covered quickly by a smile that didn't reach her eyes. It wasn't that Jimmy wasn't busy himself. But his friends had poured so much of themselves into this event, and so many other projects too. It was worth a few hours of inconvenience to take a little bit of the strain off their shoulders this week.

By the time the sunset stopped casting its pink glow over the room, Jimmy had worked so far back into Scar's inbox that he found the email from someone at Noxcrew after his first MCC, asking if he'd found the disability accommodations in the arena suitable or if they needed tweaking. If it had come from Scott then Jimmy would have sent one of his silly or sarcastic responses, but he didn't recognize the sender's name. And he didn't imagine a stranger would appreciate a random response to an email from well over two years ago, so he opted instead for dismissing his communicator's display with a wave before rubbing his eyes and yawning.

There was still some food in his inventory left from the armful Tango had shoved at him before leaving. Jimmy briefly considered going straight to bed and saving it for morning, but the last time Skizz had come back from an event, he fretted over Jimmy for three days after Jimmy accidentally let slip that he'd skipped one lunch. No, best to eat dinner, just in case.

Another three emails came in while he ate, and he grimaced at the last ding. It sounded oddly loud in the quiet house, and it occurred to Jimmy that he hadn't spoken to anyone besides Norman in almost two days. He'd thought it would be nice to have some time to himself for a little while, but it had gotten old pretty quickly. Maybe he should call someone? But everyone had a pretty packed schedule for the day, they didn't need him bothering them just because he was a little -

The abrupt ring of an incoming call made Jimmy jump, and he answered automatically without checking the name. "Hello?"

"Hey Jimmy!" Tango's grinning face filled his screen the moment the video call connected, and Jimmy found himself smiling before he even realized it.

"Hey, Rancher. Everything okay? Thought you'd be pretty busy today."

"Oh we're swamped. But we had a little time to get some lunch and I thought I'd check in. I miss y - "

"Jiggles!" Skizz shouldered his way into frame, ignoring the indignant squawk from Tango. "How ya doing, buddy? Did you eat dinner? Getting enough sleep?"

Jimmy laughed. "Yes, dad," he teased. "Ate my vegetables and everything."

"Good!" Skizz ignored the hand squishing his face as Tango tried to push him away from the screen. "Wish you were here. There's some amazing builds that we..."

Jimmy listened to Skizz chatter on about everything they'd been up to, occasionally punctuated by additional input from Tango and is that Jimmy? Hi Jimmy! from people passing by in the background. Pearl leaned over Tango's shoulder to wave enthusiastically, and Joel made a heart shape with his hands that Jimmy reciprocated.

"Jimmy!" Gem snatched the communicator away from Tango only seconds after he'd managed to retrieve it from Skizz. "I just saw my inbox. You're amazing! Thank you so much."

"It wasn't a big deal." Jimmy felt his ears flush at the praise. "Yours was nothing compared to Scar's."

"Of course it was a big deal! You have no idea how relaxing it was to open my email and not see a single hate comment." She looked up as Pearl called her name, then handed the communicator back to Tango and waved. "Gotta go! Thanks again!"

"We gotta get going too," said Tango, and Jimmy tried to keep the disappointment off his face. "We'll be home in a couple days. Anything you want us to bring back for you?"

"Just yourselves, safe and sound," said Jimmy, and Tango smiled softly. "And maybe some coffee. I still have Impulse's inbox to sort through when I give up on Scar's."

Tango laughed. "You got it. I'll bring you the biggest coffee I can legally purchase, and an even bigger hug. Don't overdo it, okay? Get some rest."

"I will." Jimmy said his goodbyes to Tango and Skizz, and pocketed his communicator after the call disconnected. Brief as the call had been, the house felt a little less lonely now, and he hummed to himself as he took his plate to the sink to wash it.

Another notification chimed out from his pocket.

Time for round two.

[wireman-au]

Talk about the laundromats.

This is a good way to distract yourself.

The thing about the laundromats is--okay. It's a silly thing to be proud of. You've taken freelance jobs that have made you a lot more money for a lot less work. You've done things that sound a lot more impressive than the laundromat thing. You're a very competent software engineer; that's a skill that's in high-demand.

Tango and Zedaph had made fun of you, a little bit, for how excited you were. You pointed out that they couldn't talk, given Zedaph is off trying to find proof of extraterrestrial life (or any other relevant radio signal from space, he would clarify if he were here to argue), and Tango--at the time the secret agent thing had been a joke, and everyone had sort of assumed Tango's government job existed in case one of his gizmos ended up actually being useful for something. That, or he was just doing paperwork.

(God, you feel like an asshole now. The thing is, Tango isn't good at keeping secrets, so you'd all known it was classified, you just didn't know that--this is supposed to be a distraction.)

Skizz had gotten it immediately, though. It's like how he let the local little league pay him thirty bucks a game to ref for them. Sure, that's not nearly reasonable money, not compared to his actual landscaping jobs, but the thing is more--

You hadn't had to use the local laundromat much. Perks of living in a house; you have your own washing machine. The water main on your street burst, though, and you had dirty clothes you had to wash while they were repairing it, so you'd gone to the laundromat and discovered they had the world's worst payment system, combined with an app that didn't work. You could only think about all the people who had to use the laundromats in town, and how it had taken you twenty minutes to pay seventy-five cents, and...

Well. You'd had the free time. You work freelance. You could probably undercut whatever the out-of-the-box solution they were using was, right? So that's what you did. Offered about half your rates for the chance to help solve their machines so you could just pay for them. And you did. And it worked.

You aren't sure anyone noticed the new systems; unlike the old one, they worked. Unlike the old one, there was nothing to notice about them.

But you'd noticed them. And you were so, so proud you had been the one to fix that.

It's a silly thing, especially next to Tango joking about being a secret agent, or Zedaph and his astrophysics, or whatever the thing Etho does is, or even Skizz and his landscaping. But it's probably your favorite freelance job you've taken.

That's why you bring it up when you can.

That's what you're talking about, that feeling, when you're talking about the laundromat.

[theadventuresofalittlebug]

Hiii can I ask what ur Hermitcraft headcannons areee

This ended up wayyyy longer than anticipated so here we go

This is a pretty open request so I’m just gonna list random headcanons. I’m also assuming you meant agere so thats what I’m going to do here.

Who I headcanon as a regressor kinda changes depending on what I’m writing, for example in my short fic Hanging Stars, Zed doesn’t know Tango regresses until s9, but I typically imagine they both regress and have known for a while.

I think Tango regresses from 3-5 normally, and at that age is quite active and excitable, he can’t sit still and prefers to run around rather than sit. The one exception is watching cartoons, he will be glued to the screen and can easily watch for hours, so he needs someone around to keep him from wasting the whole day staring at a screen. Occasionally though he will regress younger, more like 1-2, typically when he is tired. in that case he is more nervous and would rather sleep cuddled up with his caregivers than go on adventures.

As I covered in a different post (Here) Zed is a baby regressor, I already talked about it in that post.

In the context where most of the server is open about their regression I think Grian always builds a huge room in his base as a play room for the littles! It has tons of toys, a cozy blanket nest for naps, and a little kitchen always stocked with easy snacks!

In s7 Joe’s dog catcher business actually involved him putting a bunch of dog stuffies around the shopping district, after all of that he gave one to every hermit, little or not.

Grian has the biggest collection of stuffed animals ever seen. Most are birds, but he has many others including a toy sheriff from empires, a cod, several cats including a Jellie from Scar, a stuffed corgi from Joe, and a llama (Scar has a matching one) 

Keralis is a flip I haven’t really thought about how he’d be when little, he is the best babysitter when hes big

He would always use cute nicknames with whoever hes caring for eg: baby, little one, some cute play on their name

Always making sure that his little is safe, constantly telling them to be careful so they don’t get hurt

Loves making his littles laugh, he makes lots of silly jokes, his favorite being to pretend he doesn’t know something suuuper obvious, so the little can tell him the answer while giggling at how silly he is

Grian loves trains when hes little, he has a play mat with super detailed roads and houses on it that he likes to play trains on.

Pearl’s favorite thing to do when little is play pretend, she isn’t super used to having a cg I think so she probably prefers to go on adventures and get into trouble with her stuffed animals! 

I think Impulse is a cg for both Team ZITS and the Soup Group, Zed and Tango care for each other if they aren’t little themselves, as do Gem and Pearl

When Tango and Zed are both little Tango loves to be Zed’s big brother, but he’s frequently too loud for Zed and accidentally scares him, so Impulse always has to keep a close eye on him.

I think Joe and Etho both regress but its not super obvious when they do, as they are both older regressors (Joe 8-9, Etho 12-13). The main signs that Joe is little is that he doesn’t use as complex of vocabulary, and he is more energetic. Etho spends most of his time alone when he’s regressed, typically either drawing or watching anime and reading manga or comics.

also thank you so much for asking! I love talking about my agere hcs sooo much!

[skitskatdacat63]

misc lore drop day 34/?

Thank you again to @jango-tango for the ask!!!!

What is considered a weakness in your OC that is actually a strength? What is a strength in your character that can be twisted into a weakness?

Fernando

As I talked about yesterday, definitely his whimsy. As he gets older, he starts to consider it a weakness, a frivolity, something that needs to be given up if one wants to succeed in this world. But at the same time, that trait is what really endears him to other people. I think he gets in his head that a king must be a certain way, and really struggles to stray away from that ideal. But when he acts a bit silly and whimsical, that’s when people are like “ohhh he’s not such a bland guy actually!” He spends a lot of time skulking and being moody, and as I said, thinks that’s just a sign of being older and more mature. When in reality, him oppressing his whimsy is what is leading him to be upset all the time. 

To go along with the first answer, I think his commitment, especially to formality, would be considered a strength, specifically during the time period, but it negatively affects him and those around him. It can be twisted into a weakness because it deprives him of living a happy life sometimes. I think he really struggles to not constantly be committed to a specific image of a perfect king. It’s good for his rule and public image, but makes him come off as cold and inauthentic to those around him, which makes his unfamiliarity and outsiderness even worse. It would be one thing if he were an outsider but tried to adjust and get along but no. For the longest time, he insisted on sticking to his own rigid image. It’s definitely a strength to be able to be that committed, but it also gets messy when it starts making people perceive you in the exact opposite way because it’s so obvious it’s a mask, at least partially. 

Seb

His weakness that’s actually a strength is definitely his authenticity to himself. You might be like, isn’t it a good thing to be authentic? NO, not at this time. Like you can see with Fernando’s facade above, the ideal leader is usually considered aloof and above it all. Seb can just NOT do that, it’s so difficult to be serious. Though this eccentricness is really endearing, and gets him what he wants because people find it very sweet. This means even if he’s really bad at pretending to be something he’s not, it tricks people into thinking they’re getting one up on him. He can plot pretty well, like he is genuinely good at politics, just so "bad" at playing them. But again, his inability to play stereotypically well ends up working out for him anyways because people trust his authenticity, and don’t really think deeply about whether he might be double-crossing them or screwing them over. People look at him and his mannerisms and his innocent face and think, "noooo he would never do that!!" Oh yes he would.

His confidence is probably his strength that can be twisted into a weakness. One would think it’s a good thing to be confident and believe in yourself. But It puts him in a lot of difficult places when he doesn’t automatically get what he wants, because you can see it on his face when he is or isn’t happy with something. He’s just so self confident that it breaks him when things don’t actually work out the way he wants them to. That kind of self belief is a double edged sword because it’s great when everything works out, but absolutely shatters when there’s struggle or outright failure. It's important to remember that confidence in his case is moreso fueled by how he was raised to be rather than something he had to build up overtime on merit. Not that he isn't talented in many ways, but that he was taught he is perfect at everything.

[horsemeatluvr23]

You get two headcanon lists today :D The found family vibes with these guys are really strong btw - Weighted blanket anon

- Never tell a hermit something is impossible. They don’t believe in that word. Anything is possible if you try hard enough.

- Bdubs is terrified of the dark, all the hermits he visits regularly have nightlights set up in case he stays the night. He’s super embarrassed about it though.

- Etho, Zed and Gem have stuffed animal collections, they arrange playdates for their stuffed animals on a weekly basis.

- The Hermitcraft server itself is sentient. She’s very protective of her members.

- Stress, Xisuma, Joel, Doc, Joe, Skizz and Impulse regularly meet up to make and talk music.

- Tango purrs when happy.

- False experiences episodes of terrible paranoia, the hermits do everything in their power to help her through them.

- Ren puts on plays for his friends all the time, he loves acting, he loves getting into character and telling a story! The hermits are more than happy to watch his plays or even participate in them.

- Pearl is teaching Mumbo how to draw!

- Mumbo, Scar and Grian do photography together.

- Mumbo loves to shove himself into the smallest spaces, they’re nice and cozy!

- Xisuma gets really bad brain fog sometimes, Scar helped him accept that it’s not something he can control and that it’s okay! He’s learnt that it can lead to some pretty funny moments.

- Hermits would kill for each other, no questions asked. Actually I think they would just kill, no questions asked.

- Iskall likes to bite people.

i imagine lots of hermits donating nightlights to bdubs because "they make a space more cosy at night" or "little lights are so pretty they make your base look so cute", and they say the same thing about the candles and glow berry vines and fairy lights they keep in their houses just in case bdubs wants to sleep over

also i Heavily support the all hermits purr when they're happy agenda... or at least the equivalent of purring... they're all silly little animal hybrids to me

[amethystfairy1]

So I just got to this blog but I've been reading ttsbc for a little while now and it's amazing! Tango is very very well written, I've read a lot of fics and I've never seen his silliness and self doubt so well captured! :)

I've also been wondering how much inspiration you've taken for doody's superhero au as I've noticed a lot of similarities between the two. /genq

I’m so glad you enjoy my goofy lil Tango!

As far as I’m aware, the only inspo I’ve taken from doodys superhero AU is the Hot Guy and Cute Guy are frenemies dynamic…with their AU the humans and non-humans live together in society albeit not peacefully from what I understand, while in TTSBC that is most certainly not the case…I do keep up with doodys AU though, of course! I think it’s absolutely amazing and I get so excited whenever I see they’ve posted new art for it! But I credit it in ‘Pretty Boy’ just because seeing their fanart is what got me thinking about Hot Guy/Cute Guy in the first place!

[thehustledimension]

My IL OC Pride, and some various silly doodles I did (some before his design was truly finalized). He's the best big brother and point guard you could ask for.

(More lore under the cut) 🦩

Pride is his name, and Basketball is his game! He plays point guard for a team called Flamingo Tango.

He's kinda a by the books type and a perfectionist to a fault. Every game to him is kind of...life or death for lack of a better word, and takes the sport pretty seriously. Rarely smiles, yet is honest and would rather die than tell a lie. Cannot gaslight gatekeep girlboss, fails horribly at among us. Has contagious laughter IF you can manage to get him to laugh (which good luck).

Who is Flamingo Tango? Let me tell you.

Flamingo Tango was a basketball team, naturally, and one that tried to be more ethical. They played fairly, they didn't retire their leaguers to the arms trade, human personnel treated the leaguers like people as best as they could, it was pretty fantastic on paper.

Though unfortunately, Flamingo Tango was a classic case of "wrong place, wrong time". Sponsorships and funding were pretty tight, but there was a small bit of hope.

Flamingo Tango had commissioned a pretty advanced newer model of leaguer to be the shooting guard, and hoped with relatively advanced tech under the hood and what sounded to be a great sociable personality to be the default, the star a failing team needed. You might know him!

That's right, originally Topjoy was commissioned for Flamingo Tango as their shooting guard, and he played relatively well!

Pride was his sort of mentor, but more importantly an older brother figure of sorts. Together they really were the pride and joy of Flamingo Tango. TJ was also the only person Pride would really let his guard down and felt like he could have fun with as well.

However, despite the skills of Flamingo Tango's pride and joy, it wasn't enough to bring in funds to stay afloat. The Iron League was simply at it's most corrupt and violent, and another team trying to play fairly was seen as very undesirable. Unlike Silver Castle, who managed to stay afloat, Flamingo Tango could not, and eventually assets and mechs had to be sold off, primarily to Dark. From there canon proceeds.

Pride was unfortunately, retired pretty quickly upon being obtained by Dark, but perhaps (and in my heart) he makes it out of the battlefield and back home. His memories are a bit fragmented and cloudy, but he definitely remembers his adoptive younger brother.

Bonus: A few misc. doodles originally posted to the IL community on tumblr, some before I figured out Pride's design :P He's just hanging out

[yacinthemorning]

Planet of the Rancher

Summary: It's a new life game and Jimmy is excited to see his rancher again and have some fun! Unfortunately, Tango seems to be acting odd. Between that and the strange glitches happening, limited life looks to be a bumpy ride for Jimmy.

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (romantic), Grian & Jimmy & Joel (friendship)

Warnings: Miscommunications, Temporary Breakup

The first time Jimmy noticed something was off was not long after he’d taken to tagging alongside Joel. It was a bit surprising in hindsight, that they had never teamed up in these games. When the only other time they spent together was on empires, where they were bitter rivals, it was a nice change of pace. The chance to be friends again. And Jimmy always made an effort to team up with new people. What was the fun of hanging out with a big new group if not?

The prospect of new memories didn’t dampen the longing for the familiar, though. He couldn’t quite bring himself to not accept the pufferfish from Scott, or later invite his brother to join the newly dubbed bad boys.

Most recently, he couldn’t stop thinking about the smell of wheat and sounds of cattle while wrapped in a certain warmth – maybe just a bit too hot for the weather but too comforting not to indulge in anyways.

Tango was something of the opposite of Jimmy. Except during their stint as soulmates, he always hunkered down into the same familiar group. This time was no different. It suited them both, not ending up on the same team. The game that they were together was an anomaly fuelled by random luck. Bad luck, it being Jimmy. 

He expected this, though, and he was fine with it. Just being in the same world as his rancher again was good enough for him. They would still get to see each other and chat during breaks, even if they ended up enemies.

At least, that’s what he thought.

The truth was he discovered an obstacle worse than a silly rivalry.

They’d just arrived at the coast where Tango and his teammates were gathered, trying to protect a cow from Joel’s bloodlust. The boat boys began to fight, throwing accusations of abandonment at one another.

Jimmy laughed along, giving a glance at Tango. Maybe he had hoped to share a look with him. Can you believe these two? But Tango’s attention was completely on the bickering ex-soulmates. His brow was quirked, amused smile slightly dampened by puzzlement. Jimmy couldn’t blame him. It did feel a bit like they’d missed some dramatic breakup Etho and Joel never had. They really just wanted an excuse to snipe at each other for fun.

Not once did Tango’s gaze linger on Jimmy, though. It didn’t avoid him either, passing over him as his eyes darted around everyone present. Jimmy got a chance to lock their eyes, and gave the man a wave, and it was returned with no particular enthusiasm, immediately returning attention to the boat boys.

The avian deflated just a bit. He was hoping for an opening his rancher seemed uninterested in providing. Jimmy was about to jump the bank on his own when the arrows started to fly. Like that Etho was in a boat with a dead cow and Joel was running off.

“Wait, wait!” Jimmy panicked, picking up his stove. “I’m not done cooking my steak!”

Tango had finally joined their side of the water, shouting after Joel with his usual fire. All Jimmy saw was an opportunity. 

With an excited chirp, Jimmy rushed past Tango and gave the blazeborn a friendly shoe. “Get outta here!” He shouted partly to Joel and partly to his toppling rancher. A wide grin stretched across his face as he leapt over the river and spun around to give Tango a cheeky grin.

It died upon the sight of Tango, glaring over at him with a growl he reserved for those that truly ticked him off. Had he shoved too hard? Hit an unknown sore spot? Jimmy swallowed the lump of anxiety forming in his throat. “Sorry, Rancher!” He shouted back to Tango, just in case.

The look he got back was absolutely bizarre. Still annoyed, maybe even angry, but dampened by… Confusion? Curiosity? His brow was uneven, and his mouth hung open like he was unsure what to say. Tango looked at Jimmy like he’d grown a second head. There was none of the warmth he’d become used to in them. It sent a cold shiver down Jimmy’s spine. 

Had he messed up that badly? Was the shove harder than he thought? Catch the blazeborn at the exact wrong time? Or was he just stupid and it wasn’t very silly to begin with? He’d have to find Tango on their break tomorrow and apologize.

A meeting ended up getting called, and the entire server was gathered together.

“Alright, who raided the manor already?” Grian started, wings flared as he pointed accusingly at his friends. “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Not entertaining enough for you, buddy?”

“That my centrepiece was somehow stealth-beat day one? Yeah! So, who did it?” His arms waved dramatically, ending in a little huff. Jimmy snickered, giving his brother a pat on the back.

But the group remained silent. Curious glances went around, some landing on certain individuals more often. Jimmy was not one of them. A bit rude, but understandable. He wouldn’t have dared try with his luck.

“Is the person really not going to come forward?” Asked Grian.

“Grian, mate, I’m not sure it was anyone.”

Tango shrugged. “We didn’t do it, that’s for sure.”

“Actually, I thought it was a bit odd,” Scar place a curious thumb to his chin. “But come to think of it I never felt the presence of any other vex at all.”

Grian’s eyes went wide, then popped open his admin panel right in front of the group. It was all nonsense to most of the group. Jimmy saw a few people eye the code with a bit more understanding, Tango taking a few steps closer to their admin. Despite potentially ruin the mystique, as he had once called it to Jimmy, Grian stepped aside to let the blazeborn get a better look. Their frowns deepened as Tango pointed at something.

Then, Tango burst into laughter.

Grian’s face went red. The avian pushed his fellow coder hard enough that he tumbled back into Pearl, but Tango was still in a giggle fit. “Okay, okay! I get it, I suck!” Grian whined, turning to the rest of the group with crossed arms. He gaped like a fish for a moment, then buried his face in his sleeve.

“Well?” Joel asked.

“Sooo, maybe I screwed up the coding a bit.” Grian finally admitted. “Listen, this game was really hard to set up! The clocks and the world, it was all a bit messy!”

“G messed with time too much and brought us into a world where the manor isn’t occupied yet.” Tango decided to explain for him.

 The entire group broke into cackles. Grian’s face turned the same shade as his wings he now tried to hide within. When he couldn’t take it anymore he let out a piercing squawk. “Okay, already! You made your point. Listen, just, keep an eye out for your clocks not working the way they should, or any other glitches in the world. I’ll fix this on the next break.”

The group all agreed and began to split off in high spirits. At least it hadn’t been anything too serious. Despite his words Grian almost immediately started messing with the code, spurred on by embarrassment and spite.

Jimmy was so wrapped up in his own amusement, he nearly missed Tango entirely if not for the blazeborn’s tail brushing past him. Tango was already heading off, chattering to Skizz about whatever ridiculous ramshackle coding he’d witnessed in Grian’s work panel. Jimmy’s wings fluttered, and he quickly gave chase. “Ah, wait- Tango!”

The two men halted in their tracks, turning back to the younger. There was a matching wary look in their eyes that made Jimmy’s heart sink a bit. Was it really that bad that they’d be cold even on a break? “What’s up?” Tango finally asked.

Jimmy gave a nervous glance over to Skizz, but he didn’t seem to catch on and remained at his friend’s side. Maybe that wasn’t too surprising, Skizz had been away on vacation for the last game. He didn’t know about the rancher’s relationship, of course he’d stick close to his buddy being confronted by what was shaping up to be an enemy team. 

(Jimmy shushed the part of his brain that wondered why Tango hadn’t told him anything in the past few days.)

“I just, um…” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry about the shove the other day. I didn’t mean it to be so aggressive, I just thought it would be a good bit of fun in the moment.”

Tango’s tail twitched, but his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Oh, uh, yeah. It’s fine. I was more mad about the cow your teammate killed.” A nervous laugh escaped him that made Jimmy smile. “Sorry, I get angry a bit easily.”

“A bit!” Skizz gasped.

Jimmy laughed. “A bit, he says.”

Tango’s hair sparked with embarrassment, and he looked away awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah, don’t rub it in, I know. It was fine, don’t worry.”

Jimmy’s smile widened, “I’m glad, I thought I’d really messed up, sorry.”

A smirk spread across the blazeborn’s face. “Well, if you’re really sorry about it you could always make it up to me.”

It was Jimmy’s turn to turn a bit pink, feather’s fluffing up. “O-oh yeah?” What was it? A cuddle? A kiss!? Trust Tango to be so forward. Well, it had been months since they got spend time with one another, but did he have to say it in front of Skizz-

“Give us some iron and this can all be water under the bridge!” Tango snickered.

Jimmy’s entire body felt like it deflated, first in shock and then in disappointment. “Oh.” He muttered. “Um, yeah, sure.”

“What? Too much?”

“No! No, it’s not… I thought you meant…” Jimmy sighed as he rubbed his cheek and then his arm, begging his blush to leave him. Skizz was giving him an odd look. Gosh, was he really the only one who… Was he really that pathetic and needy? “Yeah, no, I can do that. I’ll bring it by later after I mine.”

“Hey, I was mostly just joking, you don’t gotta really bring it.”

“It’s fine, we killed your cow.” Jimmy gathered himself, grinning. “Meet at your base next break?”

Tango still seemed thrown but shrugged. “Yeah, sure.” With that he waved the canary off. “Thanks, Solidarity.”

Silence fell over the clearing. Jimmy’s brain felt like it had died and rebooted. Solidarity?

No, that one was too weird. He couldn’t remember the last time Tango, or anyone in the life games for that matter, called him that. Something was off, something was wrong. Before he even realized what he was doing Jimmy was already chasing after the pair through the forest. They’d yet to notice him, wrapped up in their own conversation. Jimmy was about to call out to them when-

“Dude, I think he likes you.” Giggled Skizz. 

Tango’s tail shot up straight into the sky. “Whu- me?”

“Yeah you, did you see the look on his face?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, we’ve never even talked one on one.”

Whatever comment followed, Jimmy never heard it. He spun on his heels and made his way back to the manor, uncaring of how his wings dragged in the mud.

“I see.” Jimmy whispered to only himself. “I see. Okay.” There was a pressure building in his throat and behind his eyes, one he tried desperately to hold back until he returned to the manor.

If Tango wanted to pretend nothing happened, then so be it.

-

The next time the two ex-soulmates crossed paths was a week later. It could have been much sooner. Grian even asked him if he wanted to join them when Tango and Martyn came by to help fix his code bugs. Cleaning up the remnants of the mess left by the manor fire had suddenly seemed so much more appealing. If Jimmy had been a bit too eager to run off when the group migrated onto the roof they didn’t speak of it. With Joel making an enemy of the TIES, he had a good excuse- perfectly legitimate reason not to hang around their base, as well.

All to say, it had been a very long and exhausting week. Long enough that Jimmy thought maybe he’d misheard Tango, or a joke had flown over his head, or… Well, something. Anything. Being on empires, only able to message with Tango, was always fine. Knowing he was just a few minutes walk away and still not seeing him? Actively avoiding him? Yeah, he definitely just misheard a joke or something. They’d kept their personal affairs quite private on both sides of the rift too. Maybe it was just how Tango would rather be? He should ask him, he decided. If that was the problem.

So, when he returned to the surface after hours of mining to find a giant bread bridge built out from their base and – instead of any actually explanation – was asked to help find gold they could borrow for Joel’s boogie trap, Jimmy tagged along to the team containing the sum total of the server’s redstone knowledge.

Jimmy expected things to be awkward, maybe a bit antagonistic, perhaps an aside for compliments, certainly brief. 

What he didn’t expect was the rocket.

Or, tower, as the TIES were claiming. A sad, easily disproved claim. It was upside-down, buried half in the sand, but Jimmy had never seen anything more blatantly a rocket in his life.

“Who makes a tower without an entrance?” Grian teased, wrapping against its metal shell.

Impulse shrugged. “Ask Tango. It’s his build.”

A strange expression passed between the two hermits. It was gone before Jimmy could process it, though, and a loud splash washed the memory away. Tango leapt out with a sound like a yip and shook the sea water from his body, eliciting a laugh from Impulse. Jimmy felt his heart leap into his throat, unsure if he was excited or nervous. Probably both.

The blazeborn put on a smirk as if he didn’t look like a drowned cat. “What are the jerk boys doin’ here?”

“We’re looking for gold.” Explained Joel while Jimmy nodded behind him, sticking out his hands.

“Please, can we have some gold?” It came out as an improvised melody, silly and maybe a bit too pathetic even for him. It elicited a lovely little giggle from Tango, though. A sound Jimmy didn’t even know he’d missed as much as he did until then. Jimmy felt his wings puff up. Before he could stop it a happy trill left him. He slammed his hand over his mouth, but it was too late. Everyone was staring at the avian. Even Scott had to poke his head out of the water just to let Jimmy know he had also heard it.

Grian was immediately on him, cackling like a madman. “What was that! What are you, a lovesick teenager?”

The others stared at the two in confusion. “What, what ‘e say?” Tango asked. “We don’t speak birdie, guys.”

Jimmy might have been thankful for there only being three avians on the server, but of course one of them had to be his terrible awful horrible worst-of-all-time older brother.

“What’d he say? Oh, let’s see, how best to translate this? ‘come hither?’ ‘You’re the only ten-i-see?’ ‘Look into my eyes and only my eyes?’ A good ol’ cat call?” Grian’s smirk widened maliciously while more laughter arose with each line. 

Jimmy didn’t stick around to get mocked, running to hide behind the ‘tower.’ Red face buried in his palms, he sat down to wait it out.

Void, was he really that desperate for any attention from his rancher to make a courting call in front of all their friends? Grian was right, he was no better than a lovesick teen. Of course, it wasn’t the first time he’d directed such a thing to Tango, but it had always at least been in the privacy of the ranch. Where he could apologize to Tango without judgement and get a flattered grin after his awkward explanation and-

Jimmy's head shot up, brows knit as his eyes widened. Tango knew. Tango already knew. Then why did he…?

“Hey.”

Tango stood above him, hand rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck while his tail twitched nervously, having circled around the opposite side of his rocket tower. Whatever thought went through Jimmy’s head evacuated at the sight of the soft blush and even softer, sympathetic smile.

Jimmy gulped. “H-hi.”

“So, uh, I’m sorry. About… that.”

“Sorry? About- oh. Oh, no, no, it’s fine. It’s not- I should be sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine! It’s… Well…” Tango took a deep breath. “Listen, uh, Jimmy-“

Jimmy shook his head, “No, I get it. It’s… I didn’t mean to do that, in front of everyone.”

The blazeborn’s face ignited, and Jimmy winced. Yeah, he was right about- “Well, look. Jeez, I don’t really even know how to say stuff like this. I know you had that sorta thing with… Scott?” He let out a smoky huff to cool down. “But, um, I’m just not that sorta… That’s not really my kinda thing. I don’t really know how well that would… I’m here to hang out with my buddies! And it’s not like we really run in- uh, well I guess you probably know that, I probably don’t have to say that stuff-” 

“Tango?” Jimmy finally interrupted, trying not to be swallowed by the growing pit in his stomach. The flames along Tango’s tail and head flickered and struggled as much as his words. In another time and place Jimmy might have found it charming. Was Tango really trying to…?

Tango gaped like a fish, but before he could try again Joel’s voice broke through the awkward air. “Jim, we’re heading back!” 

Joel walked up behind Jimmy, he could see his shadow fall over them and Tango avert his eyes in an attempt to act fine. The avian couldn’t tear his eyes away from him yet. Any moment now Tango would turn back to him with a big grin and say it was some weird prank. He had to. But he never did, and Joel’s hand fell on Jimmy’s shoulder. 

“Jim? Something wrong?” There was cautious hostility in his voice, and even without seeing him he could feel the tension in his fellow bad boy. If he looked now Joel was probably glaring at Tango. But Jimmy couldn’t look away from Tango.

Moments later, Jimmy’s internal begging still hadn’t been answered, and he finally found the strength to stand back up and look away. It was down at the ground, but it was away. “It’s fine, let’s go.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, c’mon.”

Despite the awkwardness of their height difference, Joel moved his arm around Jimmy’s other shoulder to hug the avian to his side as they walked. Behind them some sort of whispering commotion had started up, Tango’s nervous squeaks mixed in, but they kept going. Jimmy was just happy he held back to first tears for when they reached home.

-

Grian later that night apologized for his outing. It was fine, it wasn’t his fault. After all, he doubted Tango made that decision based on a single interaction. How long had he been mulling it over, though? Since the game started? The rift? Since their mutual death? Jimmy desperately hoped not. He didn’t like the idea of Tango dragging himself through putting up with Jimmy’s clinging to a relationship the blazeborn might have thought would end with the game.

Thinking about it made it hurt all the more, so Jimmy tried to put it out of his mind. A difficult task made easier after Joel set off his boogie kill and blew up their unsuspecting neighbours. The next few days were a chaotic back and forth trying to protect bread bridge, and with thankfully few interactions with the TIES.

Then, unexpectedly, Grian got dragged off by the Watchers for his meddling and shoddy coding. Jimmy Listened to him being scolded in the void, all the while the bad boys were left to pretend he was sick in front of their servermates.

By the time the break was over Grian was told to ‘do nothing’, and in a move that was just so very much his petulant self he chose to take it as literal as possible for the week. The bad boys didn’t mind. Honestly, if he was in a better mood, Jimmy would have found it hilarious. A better mood and not one of the ones forced to take care of his body.

He was just preparing for the day with Joel, waiting for the boogie to be selected, when a fwhoop sounded behind them. Tango stumbled out of their portal, clearly perplexed, and the two had the misfortune of making eye contact. The world seemed to freeze for a moment, both deer caught in the headlights. But Tango was always in motion, and it was him that looked away first with a “Well, this is awkward.” 

“What are you doing here?” Demanded Joel more hostile than necessary. Jimmy flared his wing out towards his friend, but it didn’t seem to do much. 

“We were just trying to get back home.” Tango’s eyebrow raised. “What’s with G?”

It occurred to Jimmy, then, how odd the sight behind him must really be. Grian, in some sort of catatonic watcher form – a face he rarely showed their friends – perched on a llama he pulled from who-knows-where, blocked up in a strange pen. Joel and Jimmy ranting about milk beside him. 

“He’s taking the week off.” Jimmy decided on. It was about a good an explanation as any. 

It seemed good enough for Tango, who approached the pen to coo at their absent admin and poke fun. And some part of Jimmy felt relieved Tango was acting normal, even if it hurt just a bit.

Something was off, though. Jimmy would chalk it up to remaining awkwardness, but there was something just not quite right that he couldn’t put his finger on. The way Tango gravitated to Grian despite being unconscious, the way he drew back to Impulse as soon as he came through the portal. They were all things that could be blamed on the situation, but there was something else in the small details. Jimmy had seen Tango awkward before, seen him fumble about and fall all over himself- because of Jimmy.

It was the way he didn’t avoid looking at Jimmy so much as he simply never seemed to bother, as if he had no reason.

So, maybe, when the countdown to boogie started, he situated himself directly across from Tango in hopes he would have to look at him. And he did. His eyes landed directly on Jimmy. His brow creased ever so slightly, in awkward apology. His mouth was pulled into a polite smile, the same one he gave to Joel, and wholly different from the comfortable quirk it got when his eyes gravitated to Impulse. His hair flickered in neither joy nor discomfort, and his tail never stuttered from its rhythmic sway like it used to, or even like it did when he was unsure.

Looking at Jimmy sparked absolutely no familiarity in the blazeborn.

The boogie countdown finished, and Tango deflated a bit as he declared he was not the boogie. Jimmy wasn’t paying full attention. They moved back to Grian for a time being, but his eyes were still on his former soulmate. Something was very wrong. Everything felt off by one degree. He could see it in Impulse too, the way his brow sat in concern whenever it fell on his best friend. If Tango wouldn’t speak to Jimmy, maybe he would.

He followed them down to the forest, and called out. “Impulse, could you stay behind? I had a question.” Jimmy said seemingly much to Impulse’s surprise. For a hot second he thought the man would say no, or that Tango would stay behind. Impulse nodded him off, though, and followed Jimmy down into the shadow of the mansion.

“What’s up, buddy?” 

“It’s about Tango.”

“I figured.” Impulse leaned against a tree. He gave Jimmy a big smile, tinged with something. Sympathy, maybe. It made the avian self-conscious all over again. He’d probably heard what happened, didn’t he? Fluffing his feathers up around himself for some comfort and bravery, though, Jimmy pressed on. “I’m sorry about the other day. Tango’s not exactly the smartest guy when it comes to emotions.”

Jimmy shook his head a bit too hard. “No, it’s fine.”

“If it’s worth anything, I’m just as surprised. I guess no one can ever really know what’s really going on in that head of his, but he seemed so excited to get to see you again before the game.”

Jimmy’s heart stuttered a bit at the thought, and he had to remind himself it was already over. “Really?” He couldn’t help ask. What had changed Tango’s mind, then? Or was it an act? Impulse knew him much better than Jimmy, though. Surely if he was acting Impulse of all people would have noticed.

Impulse nodded. “He’s been all over the place since the game started, to be honest. I didn’t think-”

“He has?” Jimmy leaned in. “You noticed, too?”

“Yeah, he’s been saying strange things and complaining about old builds he never finished. The other day he spaced out completely while I was talking to him about iBuy, though, like something upset him.”

It wasn’t just him, then. A tension Jimmy hadn’t even known was squeezing his heart released. It wasn’t just him, he wasn’t just reaching for an excuse. Tango really was acting strange. And maybe…

No, he shouldn’t get his hopes up, shouldn’t think that Tango’s decision was part of whatever was going on. What mattered was something was wrong with Tango that made even his best friend concerned. They needed to get to the bottom of this, ranchers or not.

-

The very next break Jimmy marched over to the TIES base and called out. “Tango!”

It took a moment before the familiar flaming hair poked out from atop the rocket-tower-thing. It was followed by a squeak, then a quiet. “Uh, yeah?”

“Are you free? Can you come down, please?”

There was silence, then a small woosh and splash like before. Tango crawled back onto the bank like a dog caught doing something wrong. “What’s up?” He asked cautiously.

With Tango in front of him, Jimmy could feel his chest weigh down. He was here for Tango, he reminded himself. “I wanted to talk, if that’s okay.”

 It was clear the blazeborn wasn’t a fan of the idea. He sighed. “Listen, Jimmy, I’m really sorry-”

“It’s not that!” Jimmy quickly interjected. “It’s… Well, I mean, it might be? I really don’t know, but. No, it’s not that. Could we, um, could we go somewhere a bit more private? It really isn’t that, I swear!”

Skepticism never quite left Tango’s face, but he shrugged and followed Jimmy into the woods nonetheless. It was such a short walk, but every step was agonizingly quiet and heavy.

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about?” Tango asked as soon as they stopped.

Jimmy wrapped his wings over his elbows, hoping it would give him enough comfort to speak coherently. “Is something wrong? Did I do something? Or… or is there a problem with the game? Or, just, you know, anything?”

An eyebrow was raised. “Uh, maybe, maybe not? Why? Why do you care?”

“Why do I-” Jimmy balked, the weight in his chest turning to frustration. “Tango, I know I’m not as close to you as Impulse, or, or Skizz, but of course I care if there’s something wrong!” His wings flared out. The nerve!

Tango’s hand went up in defence. “Okay, okay! Geez, calm down, I get it.”

“Don’t tell me to be calm!” He snapped. “How am I supposed to be calm when you’re acting so weird? Not looking at me, saying strange things… Even Impulse said so. And instead of saying anything you’re questioning whether I would care! You know I care!”

“Do I?” Tango shouted right back, his tail whipping violently behind him. “I barely know you! Just cause you got some crush-”

Jimmy let out a squawk. “A crush? A crush! Is that what ranchers were to you? Just some silly little crush?” His lungs felt like the air had been punched out of him.

“Jim-”

 “After everything we went through.” Something hot rolled down Jimmy's cheek. He choked back whatever was threatening to come up his throat. “If that’s what you thought this whole time you could have just said something!”

“We’ve barely spoken a word to each other the last two games, what are you talking about!” Flames burst out from the blazeborn, and Jimmy couldn’t breathe. 

Silence filled the space between them, Tango heaving as he tried to smother his fire. A low whimper escaped him, and something painfully familiar in it finally clicked Jimmy’s thoughts back into place. “What?”

“What do you mean what?” Tango hissed, no longer looking at him in favour of patting the smoke from his sleeves.

“Did you say... Tango.”

“What?”

Ignoring the blazeborn’s protests, Jimmy grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at the avian. It was still hot under his palms, the stud under his pinky almost burning him, but he needed Tango’s full attention. The looks, the names… “Tango what’s the name of this game?”

He got a sneer in return. “Uh, limited life?”

“And what was the last one?”

“Last life.” Tango flung a hand out and gave his head a shake like it was obvious. 

A completely different anxiety refilled Jimmy’s stomach as his eyes widened. Then, they narrowed. He let go of his rancher and immediately brought up his calm. Half-way through a message to Grian, however, he recalled their admin’s state, and cursed him. Who’d he put in charge again? Martyn? 

“Hello?” Tango broke in. “Can I go?”

“What? No!” Jimmy panicked, grabbing Tango’s hand. He flinched, giving Jimmy a look of indignance. No fingers instinctively curled over Jimmy’s like he’d become accustomed to. “Tango, what were you building on hermitcraft just before this?”

“A rocket I was building to fly to the moon.” He threw his thumb over his shoulder. “I was kinda surprised Grian bothered to bring it here, but he said he had a bunch of surprises for the game, so-”

“Oh my gosh.” Jimmy brought his hands down over his face. “Oh my gosh, the rocket. The rocket?”

Tango quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah, you know about that?”

“Of course I do, you told me about it, and decked out, and the toon towers, and-”

“Hold up, hold up, when did this happen? Last time I talked to you before this game was, like, for You Bet Your Life.”

“Oh gosh.” Was all Jimmy could say at this point as the situation began to sink in. “You don’t remember. Oh my gosh…”

Flickers started up in Tango’s hair once again. “Hey, you’re kinda startin’ to scare me, what’s going on?”

“Tango.” He couldn’t stop the whine in his voice. Tango didn’t remember anything. Not double life, not the rift, apparently not even his own builds. Was it all just gone? Did his friends know? Was it even something they could fix? Would he never remember?

Was his rancher gone forever?

Martyn arrived then, before either could say anything else. “I’m here, Tim, what’s up?”

Something about his old friend’s voice and the confusion growing in Tango’s face finally broke the dam. The world went blurry, and he could only barely see Tango’s expression morph into panic. Concerned shouts were drowned out by the pounding of his own heart in his ear.

His rancher was gone.

-

The game was put on prolonged hold as soon as Jimmy pulled himself together enough to explain the situation. Thank void Martyn was there, not just as an admin, but a second voice to back him up when Tango didn’t believe him, and another friend when the blazeborn started freaking out. Jimmy couldn’t bring himself to be as bold as he was before and hold Tango’s hand again, not while knowing that he was little more than a stranger to this Tango.

Even more thankfully, Grian recognized the gravity of the situation enough to drop his act and come out of stasis.

“So, uh, yeah, ha ha… Remember the timey wimey shenanigans I messed with?” explained the avian. “It um, well, it looks like I messed up a lot more than I thought.”

“You’re never touching this stuff again.” Jimmy growled, unable to hide the seething rage that was now bubbling up past his fear and misery.

“At least let me explain!”

“Quickly.”

“Okay, so, I think, something went wrong when applying the clock code to the players as they were brought into the world? Thanks to the little shenanigans I pulled with its creation. I’ve accidentally brought the right player in from the wrong state of time? In fact it seems just about everyone was affected, but most people are only from, like, a few minutes off, maybe a day…”

“But Tango’s state is from further back?” Martyn concluded.

Grian whined, and Jimmy had to hold himself back from punching him. “He’s from just before the moon destroyed the previous hermitcraft server.”

“So what about the right Tango? Is he just… gone?” Jimmy desperately hoped not. 

In the first bit of good news he’d delivered all day, Grian shook his head. “No! No, he’s simply entered the server in the wrong state of his existence. It’ll take some messing around, but I should be able to bring him and everyone else back to their most current state. At the very least, outside this server his existence should be caught up, so if we can’t we just… Run through it normally, with a bit of funky coding.”

“Funky coding!” Jimmy squawked. “G, this has to be the biggest and weirdest mistake you have ever made.”

“I said I’ll fix it! Just give me time. In the meantime, I’m gonna need to monitor Tango, so he’s staying here at the manor for today.”

With that he got to work with Martyn and Scott watching over him. Unsure what else to do, and utterly exhausted, Jimmy climbed to the top of the manor roof and flopped down to wait. His wings stretched out, hung over the burnt edge, while he stared up at the sky and tried to process it all.

Who was he kidding? He was barely smart enough to get any grasp at all about what Grian was talking about. The situation was just bizarre. Leave it to Grian to mess up so bad he basically made the world’s lamest time travellers out of them all.

A shadow fell over him as a weight dropped beside him. Jimmy sat up just enough to see Tango sat cross-legged beside him. His expression was troubled – rightly so – but it turned into a shy smile. “S’it okay if I sit here?”

“Of course.” The avian moved over just slightly, enough that he wing would not smack Tango in the face if he raised them.

At first Tango mimicked him, just staring up at the clouds. Eventually, though, Jimmy caught a soft. “Sorry.”

“Huh?”

“For… everything. I guess. Sorry.” Tango shrugged.

His mouth pulled into a straight-lined grimace. Suddenly his hands seemed fascinating. “You didn’t know.”

“I’m supposed to be smart, and I didn’t figure out I was missing a chunk of myself?” A grumble accompanied the twitch of his tail. “That’s how you get those lore-heavy servers where everyone forgets who they are. There isn’t even any lore magic on this server, that’s just embarrassing even, if it didn’t end up hurting you. It did, though, and I’m really sorry.”

“Did you really not notice anything was off?” Jimmy swiftly changed the subject. It seemed almost unfathomable, especially basing with Impulse and Etho, both of whom carried their strange soulmate relationships into this new game.

Tango paused, scratching his chin as he strained to think. “I mean, yeah something was definitely off. Especially with Etho. Impulse brought up dwarves sometimes, or some weird comment from Scott about you. But I don’t know everything they get up to, and Skizz seemed on the same page as me.”

“He wasn’t there that game.” Jimmy said. “He basically is in the same boat. I guess… you’re based with all your best friends this game, huh? So, a small bit missing wouldn’t be all that noticeable.” It was strange, remembering how short a time they’d really known each other, when it felt like so long ago now. Was he really that tiny a part of Tango’s life that it could all be wiped out by a single glitch?

“Yeah, I guess.” Tango shifted. “I still feel bad. Probably not as bad as I’m gonna feel in a bit when I’m caught up, but…”

“You shouldn’t, you weren’t the one who messed up the code.” Thinking back on the past few weeks and letting it all sink in, Jimmy groaned. “Wow, I musta seemed like a real creep.”

Tango pulled an odd face, caught between amusement and embarrassment. “I mean, I don’t think any amount of missing context would make liking me of all people make sense. Unless I got possessed by the world’s most charming ghost or something. Can’t imagine someone’s taste being that bad.”

“Oh, shut it.” Jimmy huffed, rolling his eyes. “No, you’re definitely the same Tango. Only you would say something so unbelievably untrue.”

A snort escaped the blazeborn.

Silence fell over them again, a little less awkward. Across the way the others were still sifting through code, but some sort of argument had broken out. It was too far for their words to carry, but Jimmy recognized Grian’s ‘I’m going to fill your gullet with clay if you don’t shut up’ squawk across any distance.

Tango shifted beside him, letting is legs sprawl out over the edge of the roof. “So… I mean, uh, I know I’m probably gonna get it all back soon enough but- if you don’t mind me asking, what’d I miss?”

“What’d you miss?” Jimmy laughed, which got a grin from Tango.

“Yeah! For starters, who’s this rancher you were apologizing to?”

At that Jimmy choked on his own chirp, face heating up in a mix of old memories and the unfathomable humiliation of explaining such a thing to this state of Tango. Of course it would be Jimmy who finds himself in such a ludicrous situation. Unsure where to start, he laced his fingers together in thought. “Um, well, so the gimmick of the last game was that everyone had a soulmate, you see. Someone we shared health with.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So, if you die so does your soulmate, basically. And you…” Jimmy sighed. “Well, you died. A few hours in. And that’s how we found out we were soulmates.”

“Oh.” 

 “Yeah.” Despite the look of concern Tango was giving him, Jimmy couldn’t help chuckling to himself over the memory. Tango being in absolute shambles as they both fell out of the trees, neither knowing which direction to go for their stuff, fumbling with apologies too long for it to matter… “And that’s pretty much how the rest of our time went.” He jokes with a fond smile.

“That sounds about right, yeah.” Tango muttered into his hand. “… So, where’s ‘rancher’ come into all this?”

And so Jimmy spent the rest of the break explaining Tango’s life to the best he could. It covered not nearly enough, and it wouldn’t matter soon – actually, in hindsight he was probably just setting himself up to look like a lovesick fool when Tango would be able to compare his narration to his real memories – but after the last several weeks of miserably avoiding his rancher it was an oasis. Laughing about stupidity like it was fresh and new again, the funny moments Tango reacted the same way as he originally did, the perplexity at things he apparently couldn’t imagine himself doing.

Well, that last one came up more often than Jimmy thought it would. He deliberately stayed away from anything too embarrassing, but there were certain things…

“There’s no way I’d wait a whole break.” The blazeborn folded his arms in a huff.

Jimmy’s feathers perked. “Huh?”

“To get back at Scar! I’d roast him and his pandas.”

“Oh…”

“He’s destroyed my crooked tower twice! Just imagining it boils my blood.” A small trail of smoke wafted from his tail. “What’d you do?”

Jimmy balked. “What’d I-? I just… I don’t know. I just said we should think about it and you agreed.”

“Sounds fake.” Tango eyes him with suspicion. Did it really? Even in his anger, Tango seemed to love being bombastic. Emphasis on the bomb. Jimmy couldn’t imagine him being satisfied with just setting it on fire.

-

Soon the break came to an end, though, and the two went back to their respective groups. Jimmy didn’t catch sight of him for the rest of the week, and Grian pulled him away during the next break for the final steps. The avian couldn’t help the anxiety building up, unsure what was happening out where the rest of the server could not see.

If Grian had thought it serious enough to warrant, however, he would have ended the game. Jimmy tried to comfort himself with that much. If it were bad he would have cancelled, and they wouldn’t currently be scouring the server for the last green names.

Tango was among them, but Skizz and Etho hid him and Tango as soon as they saw the bad boys roll up. Part of Jimmy wanted to yell at them. Of course he wouldn’t use the first chance he got to speak to his rancher to kill him! His teammates certainly would, though. He could see the bloodlust in their eyes. Or, rather, Joel’s eyes, because Grian had already disappeared, and it took them almost making it home to spot him on top of Skynet.

The next few minutes were a confusing blur of climbing, shouting, fire, things dropping, and one particular message in the chat. Grian’s minecart hit Tango dead on, and the blazeborn was blown up. Zero mercy. Joel was pushed off Skynet first, then Grian dragged Jimmy down with him into the water. 

When finally flailed his way to the surface he was met with an outstretched hand and sharp toothed grin. There was a spark in his eyes, narrowed with fondness and familiarity he’d missed so much. “Hey there, rancher.” Said Tango. “Long time no see. Sorry I took so long to get here.”

Jimmy thought he might cry. Instead he grabbed tango’s hand and they hauled him up. As soon as he was back on his feet his arms were around Tango, pulling him into a tight hug. There was a brief moment he panicked thinking it might not be returned, but with a giggle it was, the blazeborn’s warm arms wrapping around his torso. His wings fluttered, almost pushing both of them off balance. Jimmy buried his face into Tango’s shoulder to stop himself from making too big of a fool of himself. “Hey rancher.” He remembered to reply.

“Ew. This is what the breaks are for, guys.” Grian began to tease from the sidelines.

Jimmy just fluffed up his wings further, tilting his head just enough to stick his tongue out at his brother. “Shut up, it’s your fault.”

Others gathered round to ask Tango if he was okay, and Jimmy reluctantly let him go so he could speak to his teammates and the remaining bad boys who hadn’t been chased off by Etho. 

When it was time to leave for the boogie selection Jimmy had barely stepped into the woods before he heard someone call after him. “Wait!” Jimmy turned ‘round just in time to see a bright blurry flame before he was tackled straight to the ground, Tango barely catching him before his head smacked into the dirt by wrapping his arms around the avian’s neck. 

Jimmy didn’t have time to react after that either, before the hands moved to his cheeks and pulled his face up to meet warm lips. With a muffled chirp Jimmy leaned into the kiss. There was a sound his brain couldn’t quite process at that moment in the background. He didn’t care to figure it out. His chest felt lighter than it had all game. Light and warm, like how it felt back when their soul’s were still bonded.

When they parted Jimmy could already feel Tango’s cheeks pulling into a toothy grin, letting out a purr as he hovered above. “I think a few more of those will make up for the cow and that iron you never brought.”

“Wha-!” Jimmy’s indignant gasp was cut off by another peck, this time on his nose. He fell into a pout, which hardly lasted under the proceeding assault, giving way to a fit of giggles. It turned into a fit when the blazeborn’s claws dropped from his face his sides. “Tan- Tango! Stop!” He barely got out between tickles and kisses. “Tango, I’m going to die!”

Tango did, pulling back with a devious smirk down at the avian trapped under him. “Hm? Really? You think that’d count as a boogie kill, then?”

Jimmy blinked, then sputtered and flailed in a panic. Tango cackled as he hopped up. “You’re lucky you’re cute!” Then he was gone with a wave, disappearing between the trees, already pulling TNT from his inventory.

Heart still pounding, Jimmy let himself sit in the grass and catch his breath, muttering to himself. “ You’re lucky you’re cute.” Grian was right, this was what breaks were for.

Still, he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face all the way back home. His rancher was finally back…

… At least until Tango appeared with Etho on top of the manor chasing Joel down with TNT like madmen. 

Oh void, his rancher was finally back…

[epicfranb]

Here are my reactions to Bdubs's first Secret Life episode!

EPISODE STARTS WITH ETHUBS GREAT START I'M LOVING THIS ALREADY 👏👏👏

Bdubs really digs his mine ONE BLOCK AWAY FROM ETHO'S 😭😭😭 I'm telling you this man is NOT OKAY

This is like them pissing together except mining 1 block apart from each other (cuz they're not gay)

"You can't even tell your best friend" you mean yourself? "You can't even tell me" yup.

"I really wanna tell you really bad" I'M TELLING YOU THIS IS THE PERFECT START.

LIZZIE IS BACK NOW I ACTUALLY FEEL THE HYPE HELLOOOOO!!!!

Mesa on the map 👀

Bdubs feels so bad about killing horses god bless his pure soul 😭😭

Oh so they can't regenerate AT ALL once they lose their hearts they are GONE. No potions no gapples nothing

YOU CAN GIFT HEARTS??? this is huge

"My boy Bdubs" Etho is also not okay

Bdubs in Last Life gives Etho a shield bc Etho forgets them all the time... This season Etho remembers the shields first and then makes Bdubs one.... And they giggle so sweetly :( I HATE THEM...

And now they're reminiscing about good old times. Great

MUMBO IS ALSO IN IT???? How many people do we have this time?! Is Ren in this one?

They didn't play on 1.18 generation in LimLife where everyone died left and right but they DO play it on the season where you can't regenerate hearts. Awesome decision making

Paused on this bit and just want to say. Team STEM

Aww Mumbo Pearl and Bdubs neighbors? :O :D

That was just three nicknames in a row with no pause in between. Skizz comes in saying "Pearlie-Pop! :D" Pearl goes "Skizzlie!! :D" and Bdubs instantly goes "Hey Skizzie!!!" They are so silly and whimsical

Bdubs: Hey Skizz i have words of affirmation for you

Skizz: That's so last season 🙄

Bdubs: *collects Cleo's wheat* nothing to see here! Just borrowing some stuff! 🥰

Cleo: Oh that's fine , they're not mine, they're Lizzie's :D

Bdubs: OH SHOOT*glues the sugar cane back on*

I see this man has his priorities straight 😭😭

THEY GET OP REWARDS FOR COMPLETING SECRET TASKS???

BDUBS REALLY SUGGESTED HIM MUMBO AND PEARL BE CALLED AXIS THANK GOODNESS CLEO WS THERE

So Bdubs is now sort of in a team with Mumbo and Pearl. The question is though: will be be undyingly loyal to them 🤔

The rock thing with the rewards is so watcher-core you just know the watcher fandom will eat well this season LMAO

Cleo: Hey Bdubs where's your boyfriend?

Bdubs: Etho is...

That's it. I'm done. This season has peaked. I don't even know what to say anymore. I'm quitting. My career is over. I don't have anything else to do or say I'm done.

I CAN'T BELIEVE BDUBS ANSWERED BEFORE FULLY PROCESSING WHAT CLEO SAID. HIS BRAIN JUST WENT "My boyfriend? Oh yeah that's Etho" i actually flat out CANNOT believe it's only the first episode and is already gayer than Last Life 😭😭😭

Riding a camel wearing a helmet (against the rules) holding tnt like a slut he is

I wonder if the admins themselves assign everyone their tasks. Whether that's the case or not, it's VERY ironic that Bdubs, a master builder, gets a task to build the ugliest house known to man and people end up looking at it and going "what a creative idea!" and decide to make it there gimmick as well.

ETHO'S TASK IS TO GET EVERYONE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT?! THAT'S CRUEL MAN i can't wait to hear him whine and whimper about it in his video

Joel wants to build a mound as well? 👀 Bdubs and Joel alliance? 👀

THE MOLES. GREAT

Mumbo's "tell a bunch of puns" and Etho's "get everyone to sleep at once" you can clearly see who is watchers' favorite etc etc

Scar threatens to burn down Jimmy's house againSJJDKDKDKFJJDJ

Skizz: *hears Bdubs's secret* i do that without a task xD

Skizz: we're all pretty old, maybe our island is called Heart Problems 😭😭 he says out of nowhere

Can't believe Tango and Skizz lit up their island and get attacked by 2 baby zombies, a creeper, a witch and a Trident drowned 😭😭😭

[brainrot-has-overtaken-me]

Okay this is a somewhat cool idea, got my brain turning after reading this and ideas are rolling, so here’s some of my thoughts

Who the kings should be:

Jimmy:

for sure, I’m assuming since this is hardcore the canary curse will still be with him

this man has died first in every single season despite what anyone plans for that to not be the case

Skizz:

theres the whole thing about him not being able to play minecraft, I don’t watch enough Skizz content to know if it’s a joke or not but it’s good enough for me

he is consistently out early in every season of the life games he’s played in

Tango:

I love this man but he does in the most silly ways (like Jimmy) all the time

going off the life series, he actually places low rather consistently (8th, 11th, 13th, 10th)

And here’s my reasoning behind why Scar shouldn’t be a king

Scar:

he is a pawn for this, not a king

Scar is actually decent at hardcore (coming in 9th for the past three seasons) and his reputation of dying all the time comes from servers where there is infinite respawns and he knows he can be silly and die often without consequence

he’s got a silver tongue that we’ve seen time and time again through the seasons and can make a real good right hand man for deals and alliances

All of this is considering their stats in the life series and ONLY the life series and the idea from OP of placing the ones from the life group that die often in positions where they cannot die. It seems OP has it as pawns having a limited number of lives, which means you want the ones that are good at staying alive, making deals, and fighting to be the pawns

But if we mess with OP’s idea a little bit and pawns can respawn infinitely then that changes everything and you want a king that is good at staying alive instead of the above mentioned people who die often and usually from a silly accident or unfortunate mob encounter. Which in that case I think it should be Scott, Pearl and either Martyn OR Impulse as the kings. (While Martyn has a higher placement average than Impulse, impulse is still rather good at the not dying thing and I feel he gets overlooked often in the series and either of them would make a great 3rd king, I just can’t decide between the two)

Now in either situation of the pawns having a set number of lives or having infinite lives, I still have some thoughts on them (I’m not gonna break down each player as a pawn though)

Pawns:

I think that the pawns should be randomly assigned or selected in some other manner (such as attempting to evenly split them based off previous stats) than OP’s suggestion of chosen by the kings (this way there’s a chance for new dynamics and shenanigans)

while I can’t see the kings doing much betrayal from their positions I can see so much drama coming from the pawns as they switch sides or fight against their assignments in backhanded deals and trades

some of them, like Cleo, are immensely loyal and would be a huge benefit as to having on ones side, whereas some, like Joel, are more lone wolfs or struggle in keeping strong alliances would be seen as a negative or weak spot

everyone in the life group are pranksters, so even if the trap curse carries over, there could still be plenty of amusement in prancing the other kings (and who knows failed pranks often result in death)

I would like to propose a new hardcore series involving the life series players. In this series, you have 'kings' and 'pawns', and the goal of the series is to keep your king alive until the end. The players are divided into 3 groups chosen by the king. The group with the last king, so even if you are still alive and your king dies, you die as well. The main catch is that the kings are the players known for dying the most, aka Jimmy, Skizz, and Scar

[sparxwrites]

Boys Night (Science Edition)

(a very silly thing based off of my "tango of the tek variety" headcanon post. i keep thinking about all the fun options, so i decided i was simply going to refuse to choose, and let tango torment the other hermits with his frustrating ambiguity.)

[ao3]

“So,” says Zedaph, several beers down and a little bleary-eyed with it. It’s two in the afternoon, but science waits for no man – science, in this case, being an experiment to answer the vitally important question of which of these many extremely cheap beers taste the worst. Anything counts as science if you write it down, and Zedaph’s got a book and everything. His handwriting had deteriorated significantly between beer two and beer five, admittedly, but it’s fine. “Tango. If you don’t mind me asking– what are you?”

Tango, who was only too happy to volunteer to help with this particular experiment, squints at him. “I’m Tango,” he says. “What’re you talking about, dude?”

“Yes, you’re Tango, but–” Zedaph grasps for his words. “You know how Doc’s a creeper, mostly a creeper, and Ren’s a werewolf, and Grian’s–” The word human dies on his lips. “Scar and Cub are vexes, kind of, and… I don’t know, Gem’s a deer, and–”

“She’s not a deer,” objects Tango. “She’s got people hands.”

“Part deer, then, fine. What are you, some kind of bloody peer reviewer?”

“Okay, Mister Smartass. What’s Bdubs, then?” asks Tango, squinting down the neck of his bottle at the dregs of his beer. “And this one tasted like piss, by the way. Actual piss, not just bad. No joke. Next!”

“That’s Doctor Smartass, thank you very much. And grown in a test tube, probably.” Zedaph obediently writes down tastes like actual piss in the correct row of his neat little table, and tosses Tango a new bottle. “Or bred on some really weird farm.”

“Bullshit you’ve got a doctorate.”

“I’m doing science, aren’t I? That makes me a doctor. But that’s not the point. Come on. What are you?”

“I’m Tango,” says Tango, bewildered. “Tango Tek.”

“Yes, but!” Zedaph throws his hands up in the air, exasperated, despairing. “What does that mean?!”

“It means I’m Tango,” repeats Tango, slowly, as though speed is the issue here. Which, given the growing piles of bottles and cans between them, is a not unreasonable assumption. “And I’m of the Tek variety. What’s not clicking here, Zed?”

Zedaph groans, and taps the small surgical scar beneath his left ear. The faint bump of his universal translator module, implanted beneath the skin, is still there, which means he shouldn’t be mishearing. “Is– is this thing working? Is that the problem? Hello?”

“What’re you hearing me say?” asks Tango, leaning back against the crafting table behind him. “Like. Word for word. Lay it on me.”

“I’m Tango, and I’m of the Tek variety,” repeats Zedaph, in an utterly atrocious imitation of Tango’s voice.

“Yeah, yeah, no, that’s– that’s exactly what I’m saying. Can’t help you with this one, buddy. I’ve got many skills, but I can’t cure stupidity. Sorry.” He dodges the empty beer can Zedaph tosses at his head with ease – mostly because Zedaph is on beer six and his aim is appropriately terrible. “You know what? Okay, I’ll admit, I deserved that.”

“Yes. You did. And– again, what does that mean?”

“Well, it means my name is Tango, and my variety is Tek. Like your name is Zedaph, and your variety is. Uhh. Something.” Tango shrugs, and takes a sip of his beer, before pulling a face. “Okay, that one tastes like cat piss. Weird.”

Zedaph notes that down, and does not ask how Tango knows what cat piss tastes like. Not through a supreme effort of will or anything. He just doesn’t want to know. “Right. So what’s a variety, then?”

“It’s a variety!” Tango, finally, seems to lose his temper. “It’s a– a variety, seriously. I repeat, what’s not clicking?!”

“What does that mean? What does variety mean, is it a, a species, or a subspecies, or some kind of scientific classification, or–”

“It’s like– it’s like–” Tango makes a string of halfhearted and extremely vague gestures, many of which look mildly to moderately obscene, for a solid minute. Then he gives up. “It’s like whatever.” When he takes another sip of his beer, his whole face crumples into an unfathomably disgusted expression. “Give me another one, Zed. I’m drawing the line at cat piss.”

“Right. Draws line at cat piss. But not piss. You’ll drink piss?”

“Yeah, sure,” says Tango, with an air of deep resignation. “I’ll drink piss, but I draw the line at cat piss. You may quote me on that, in your little science paper or whatever. As long as you give me a new beer.”

Zedaph obliges, without much objection. Irritating lack of clarity on the definition of variety aside, he’s not going to make his friend drink cat piss. Even if it is for science.

Tango tips his current bottle out into the roots of a nearby sapling, which is undoubtedly going to do very little for the tree’s overall vitality, and cracks the new can open. He takes a sip with the air of a man expecting the executioner’s axe, and then blinks. “Okay! Okay, this one? Not bad! Not bad at all. I’d give it a solid two out of ten, which, given the last two have tasted like some kind of uhh. Bodily waste. Y’know! Improvement.”

“Two out of ten,” repeats Zedaph, making a dutiful note. “So. Okay. Walk me through this variety thing again. Define it for me. Use short words, if that makes you feel better.”

“I’m gonna shove your short words,” says Tango, “up your ass, if you’re not careful. As for the definition– ‘suck my dick’. How’s that?” He raises his beer in Zedaph’s direction, grinning with too many teeth. His eyes hold a warning, a polite threat of friendly violence. “Cheers, dude.”

Ever sensitive to subtle social cues, Zedaph shuts up, raises his beer, and drinks.