#tangled parody film

[sweetercalypso]

Watch Party || Joel Miller

word count: 1.5k

summary: renting a Halloween movie turns into a nightmare when poltergeist!Joel Miller crawls out of your TV

notes: part two in my week of horror series! minors dni; female mast., male mast., voyeurism, facial, afab reader, better tags on a03 because tumblr hates this post

It’d started as a joke.

The dusty VHS tape sitting on your coffee table was a relic, an obsolete piece of lewd cinema recorded and forgotten by time. ‘Night of the Lustful Undead’ is clearly an outdated work, but you doubt that the twenty-first century has produced anything that rivals the corny obscenity featured in this parody of a classic horror film.

Static from the TV flickers in a black and white trance, casting a strange light over your living room, dancing across the furniture with an eerie glow.

You grab the tape and slide it into the VHS player that you’d pulled from storage just for this occasion, and settle onto the couch with the remote in hand. This started as a joke, but you’re in too deep to back out now.

When your Halloween plans had been cancelled for the third time in a row, you’d assumed it was a sign that you were meant to spend the holiday weekend at home. You’d told your friend about your dilemma over brunch one morning, and she’d said that time alone could be just as fun, as long as you knew how to spend it.

You’d blushed at the implication and laughed off her suggestive tone, but the idea had planted a seed in your mind, and by the end of the month, it’d grown into something more.

­­­­If you were going to spend the holiday by yourself, you decided that you wanted to stay on theme with your choice of celebration. A movie rental company on the other side of town had exactly the entertainment you were looking for.

You’d been grateful for the anonymity of the empty, dated storefront, though you’d struggled to make eye contact with the cashier as he’d stuffed your purchase into an inconspicuously plain plastic bag.

Now, as the opening credits roll across the screen, you’re still telling yourself that this is just an ironic charade. You’re not actually interested in the passionate plot you’d read on the back of the cover; you’re not secretly glad that your friends hadn’t invited you out at the last minute; you’re not vaguely aware of the heat simmering in your belly at the thought of what’s to come.

The scene opens with a grainy shot of a scantily dressed woman barricaded in the cellar of an old farmhouse – a reference to the film’s inspiration.

She’s toying with a radio to call for help when the reanimated “zombie” bursts through the door, mangled shirt barely covering his tan chest. He lunges towards her and she gives an exaggerated gasp before zealously attempting to wrangle herself free.

“Oh, that’s so fake,” you scoff, though your hands twitch absentmindedly at your sides.

Their stilted performances makes the movie seem more gaudy than you’d anticipated, but you’re too distracted by their heated struggle to worry about bad acting.

The performer in the scene is handsome enough – a burly, broad-shouldered man with dark eyes and a stony expression. The undead part of his character had been implied solely in his tattered clothes and the baritone warble of his voice, and now that he’s stripped down to his popped-open jeans, you can’t remember much else about his role.

Your hands inch into your lap as the two actors tangle themselves together, almost entirely abandoning the storyline they’d spent the first ten minutes building up. He lays the woman down on a conveniently placed blanket and moves between her thighs with the promise to ‘give her what she needs’.

The camera changes angles and you shift in your seat as the expanse of his back fills the screen. His muscles flex in time with his first experimental thrust, spine bent at an awkward angle as he leans down to groan against the woman’s throat. You barely notice the sound of her high-pitched moans over the guttural noises he sings against her skin.

When the point of view changes again and you’re met with a close up of his side profile, you’re immediately entranced by the sight. His nose is pressed against the woman’s cheek, brows pinching together as they share greedy breaths between their open mouths.

You gasp as he glances over at the camera. For a split second, it felt like he was looking directly into your eyes.

The thought is enough to bring you to your breaking point, finally caving in and slipping your fingers beneath the waistband of your sweats. You’re soaked between your thighs and the sound of the actor’s heady pants fuels the urgency in your touch.

Your fingers swipe messily at your clit as the man on the screen picks up pace, grunting a breathless command of ‘don’t come without me’ into the small room.

The camera switches to a more scenic shot of the pair and you mourn the loss of his close-up features. The woman seems to have forgotten her character’s earlier reservations, thighs wrapped snugly around his waist, one hand knitted into his dark, tussled hair. You silently envy the way she gets to explore his form.  

She throws her head back in pleasure and you imitate the act, almost like you’re trying to envision yourself in her place. Your eyes squint shut and you picture his face again, dipping your fingers into your core.

Light from the TV flashes behind your closed eyes, a wild display of vivid colors that doesn’t fit the setting of the movie. The sounds of their affair are replaced with a jarring static that makes you groan and slump down into the couch. The tape must be jammed.

You peel your eyes open with a disappointed sigh, already feeling the tightly-wound coil in your gut beginning to unravel. So much for enjoying your alone time.

From the flicker of the screen, you notice a tall silhouette looming beside the TV. The color drains from your face when it begins to move closer and you realize that it’s taken the shape of a man.

You’re frozen in fear, too scared to move and too dazed to consider whether your heart is hammering out of panic or eager anticipation.

The figure stops just a few feet away and you’re able to piece together his identity. The mused hair, the stubble on his cheeks, the hills and valleys of his exposed shoulders and chest – the man from the screen is here in front of you.

You look towards the TV in disbelief. Everything seems to be exactly the same, minus the empty space that he had once filled.

His scene partner is still plastered on the screen, blurred by the digital lines running across her image. Without his presence, the movie seems much more like the unserious spoof film you thought you’d purchased.

“I didn’t tell you to stop,” his gruff baritone breaks the monotonous white noise coming from the speakers.

“How did you…” your question trails off before you can finish it. What could he say that would make you understand?

He nods towards where your hand disappears beneath the waist of your bottoms. “Keep going. I want to watch.”

His own hand is wrapped around the length of his cock, moving slowly to keep his interest limited to your assent. He’s close enough that you can see the pearl of precum dripping from his ruddy tip, glinting in the light of the flickering screen.

Your fingers move of their own volition, circling your clit with a gentle pressure, matching the leisure pace of his hand gliding over his length. Small chirps and sounds of pleasure fill the air, turning into little hums and choked sobs as your shared tempo becomes faster.

“Y’like my cock?” He spits, thighs flexing as he bucks into his palm. “Dirty girl, getting off on watching other people fuck.”

You whimper and stretch your free hand out to motion him to come closer, but he shakes his head and bats it away. “No – you’re gonna finish what you started.”

He takes another step closer and rubs his thumb over the underside of his cock, laughing to himself as your jaw hangs open in awe.

“Make yourself come, and then I’ll touch you however you want.”

A few more swipes over your clit is all it takes for you to reach your peak, crumpling forward and shuddering through your release. You’re still catching your breath when a warm hand meets your cheek, pulling your attention up to the man towering above you.

His cock stands just inches from your face, and he twists over the shaft once, twice, before he comes, striping the evidence of his arousal over your glazed features. He hisses out a blissful noise and taps the weeping head against your parted lips, leaving a salty taste in your mouth that makes your walls clench.

He tips his head to the side, admiring the opaque lines streaked across your face. When he takes a step back and glances at the TV over his shoulder, you’re afraid for a moment that he might disappear. He turns his focus back towards you with a grin, and the look in his eyes says he’s not leaving anytime soon.

[kookies2000]

Welp, looks like I'm going back to writing fairytale AUs for Trolls. Frozen parody fan fic here I come!!!

Trolls 3 spoilers

What if ?

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[foxes-that-run]

Ready for it?

Ready for it? is about a magnetic damaged relationship Taylor won't let go of, wondering if her lover dreams of her, it references a relationship plagued by the media. The title, "Ready for it?" is referenced in one of the TS Parody Tabloids, referring to this awful real piece of journalism about Haylor. Harry has also referred to the song in To Be So Lonely with "Wasn't ready for it all"

When was it written

In the HBO Bad blood documentary Taylor’s PA said it was written on her plane during the 1989 tour, which is May - December 2015. The footage they show is from Taylor arriving in LA from China on 13 November 2015, but not necessarily when it was written. It refers to Two Ghosts, Stockholm Syndrome and Perfect which are from then.

Live performances

Ready for it opened the Reputation stadium tour and the Reputation set of the Eras tour where the screens are reminiscent of the 1989: ones"

Lyrics

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom

I knew you were trouble: I knew you were trouble when you walked in / So shame on me now / Flew me to places I'd never been, yeah Now I'm lyin' on the cold hard ground

Haunted is a theme in Taylors work and in Harry's also. After Haunted on Speak Now, this is the next haunted and all others refer back to Two Ghosts or Harry. Here Taylor responds to Two Ghosts, which was also written in 2015 and ups her role to a Phantom, both models of Rolls Royce cars. As a luxury car enthusiast car references are generally to Harry.

Two Ghosts: (We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me / Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat)

Holdin' him for ransom

Stockholm Syndrome: "Who's that shadow holding me hostage? / I've been here for days / Who's this whisper telling me that I'm never gonna get away?"

Some, some boys are tryin' too hard He don't try at all, though Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta

Harry remains is the youngest of Taylor's exes, and he did act like such a man.

"Keep him forever" is also a reference to Stockholm Syndrome which Harry wrote while dating Taylor, released a few weeks after 1989 and added to the One Direction Setlist during the period Taylor wrote this.

I, I, I see how this is gon' go Touch me and you'll never be alone I-Island breeze and lights down low No one has to know

The impact Taylors fame has on a relationship (touch me and you''ll never be alone) is explored extensively in 1989, especially,

I Know Places, Wonderland and Slut! explore this. Harry Styles Kiwi and Sign of the Times also refer to this.

This line reminds me of Perfects "And if you like cameras flashin' every time we go out"

Island Breeze also reminds me of IKYWT "Flew me to places I'd never been, yeah" and the Blue dress on a boat. It may also refer to her Rhode Island home, she purchased in May 2013.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams You should see the things we do, baby In the middle of the night, in my dreams I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time Are you ready for it?

Wildest Dreams "Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha (ha-ah, ha) / Wildest dreams, ah-ah, ha / You'll see me in hindsight / Tangled up with you all night"

Little Freak also references this line with references to blue light (adult film) dreams and wet dreams dangling. Little Freak also references "starry eyes, crystal ball" from the Ready for it video.

Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me Stealing hearts and running off and never sayin' sorry But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist, and

IKYWT: No apologies / He'll never see you cry / Pretends he doesn't know

Stand up (One Direction) also has a similar refrain: "You can call me a thief (I'm a thief, I'm a thief) But you should know your part (I'm a thief, I'm a thief) I'm only here (I'm a thief, I'm a thief) Because you stole my heart"

See more on the Haylor theme of robbers and thieves.

We'll move to an island, and And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor

Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton had a long, magnetic, tumultuous relationship over years with infidelities between two A-listers. Taylor made the same likeness in the Wildest Dreams video, which was released in the time this was written. During that period, Taylor liked a series of posts that likened her and the Wildest Dreams muse to old hollywood couples and celebrities including James Dean and Marilyn Monroe.

Every love I've known in comparison is a failure I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now Never be the same now, now

In Question...? Taylor describes a similar comparison to other loves: (Does it feel like everything's just like second-best after that Meteor strike?)

(Baby, let the games begin Let the games begin x 2)x2

Games are also a Haylor theme, this line:

State of Grace - Love is a ruthless game, unless you play it good and right

Blank Space - Love's a game, wanna play?

Boyfriends - And you know the game's never ending

Music Video

the costumes are reminiscent of Taylor's 2014 VS show, which HS and she were friendly then left the afterparty 5 mins apart from.

Keep Driving refers to "Kiss her and don't tells, Wine glass, puff pass, tea with cyborgs, Riot America, ..." is the tea with cyborgs referring to TS in this video?

So although Joe's birth year appears in the start of the Video, the song was written more than a year before Taylor met Joe. In the Behind the Scenes of the video Taylor is quite sassy, saying "there are other numbers of significance, "89 and 91 next to each other" with a laugh, at the end she also says the boys in the video are not really humans. This is trolling H. These numbers don't mean the song is about Joe, the overall Reputation narrative was that love songs were about Joe to shut down discussion of other muses, though multiple songs including this one were written in the 1989 and 1989 tour time period.

The unreleased Two Ghosts video also has blue electricity spheres that look like the ones at 1:56.

The lyric video for the all you had to do was Stay is reminiscent of the Ready for it video freeze frame:

Taymoji

Ready for it has a taymoji set that includes a moon heart, the description is 'partial eclipse of the heart' Total Eclipse of the Heart was a One Direction X-Factor competition song, it also has an anatomical heart, which Harry got a tattoo of in 2014 after Style was written and a red flower. The flowers description is 'roses are red, this flower is also red..' possibly the same reference as in Maroon, "Carnations you had thought were roses." The flags also look like "took off faster than a green light go" in Holy Ground.

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 18

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “You don’t have to trust me, as long as you can persuade me to trust you.”

Number 18 is…Sam Spade.

We’ve talked about a few noir-style detectives already, and there will be at least a couple more still to come. In noir fiction, the detective’s role is often slightly different than in more conventional, straightforward murder mysteries. In these stories, while there may well be a mystery to be solved, the real focus is less on figuring out the culprit, and more the direct stoppage of crime. Noir fiction focuses more on corruption, treachery, and the seedy underbelly of society, with villains at the top of the heap causing trouble, and a hero who is much further down the social ladder having to struggle against seemingly insurmountable odds to see justice done. Arguably the quintessential noir style detective – the name I first think of when I think of the genre – is this character: Sam Spade.

Spade started out as the main protagonist of one of the greatest crime novels ever written, “The Maltese Falcon.” This is the first detective based on a piece of literature (unless you count Ranpo from Bungo Stray Dogs) where I have to admit I haven’t actually read the source material. HOWEVER, I have seen the famous 1941 film adaptation of the story, which starred Humphrey Bogart as the character. The film, like the book it’s based on, is considered one of the greatest of its genre and its time. The story begins when Spade and his fellow private eye, Miles Archer, are contacted by a young woman who wishes to find her missing sister. When Archer goes missing, presumed murdered, Spade goes on a quest to find out who killed his associate. In typical fashion for this kind of story, Spade follows the tangled knots, and discovers there’s much more going on than meets the eye. There were other adaptations before the 1941 “Maltese Falcon,” but it was that picture that put the character of Sam Spade on the map, and created perhaps the most iconic piece of film noir of all time. Bogart would forever be associated with playing characters like Sam Spade: hard-boiled, trenchcoat-clad gumshoes who cynically stroll through life, trying to bring some good in dark, dingy places, while dealing with troubles of the heart and the stressful cares of life. It is Bogart’s Sam Spade many people think of and typically parody when they think of the classic noir detective, above all others. Spade is a good detective, as the mystery of what happened to Archer is ultimately revealed through his reasoning, but the focus is really on him unraveling the twisted web of deceptions and crimes surrounding this one sorry happenstance. He carries himself in a way that has a sense of world-weary cynicism, yet is also charming, witty, and, despite his somewhat shabby demeanor, surprisingly clever. He is both romantic and yet down-to-Earth, and just about every fedora-topped detective that came after followed his example.

While “Maltese Falcon” is Spade’s most famous appearance, it was not the end of the character. In the world of literature, his creator, Dashiell Hammett, would write four more adventures for Spade in the form of short stories. There would also be multiple radio depictions of Sam Spade, including adaptations of the Falcon (two of which would have Bogart reprise the role), and a series for NBC called “The Adventures of Sam Spade.” This program starred Howard Duff (and later Steve Dunne) as the detective, and was really more of a spoof of the character. Spoof or not, however, Duff would become almost as renowned as Bogart in the role, reprising the character several times after the series ended for other radio appearances. Most recently, earlier this same year, AMC+ began a streaming TV series called “Monsieur Spade,” which stars Clive Owen in the role of the sleuth, who has “retired” to France.

There have also been parody characters directly inspired by Spade; two of my favorites were both coincidentally named “Sam Diamond,” combining Spade’s name (perhaps unintentionally) with that of another famous radio sleuth, Richard Diamond (whom you may recall from the Honorable Mentions). One of these Diamonds appeared in the comedy film “Murder By Death,” played by Columbo himself, Peter Falk. The other was a guest star in an episode of “The Addams Family,” played by Tommy Farrell.

Be he named Spade or Diamond, and be he portrayed as funny or serious, the legacy of good ol’ Sam has clearly flown farther than any falcon could ever imagine.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 17!

CLUE: “I don’t believe a detective exists who likes to see his trenchcoat ruined…”

[thealmightyemprex]

Top 10 Animated Fairy Tale films

Did my top 10 Live action fairy tale films,her are the animated ones

10.Jack and the Beanstalk 1974-A very unique and a bit odd adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk

9.Wonderful World of Puss in Boots -A delightful telling of the classic Puss In Boots fairy tale

8.Hoodwinked -A parody of Little Red Riding Hood told from multiple perspectives

7.Tangled :Love the songs and the romance in this telling of Rapunzel

6.Little Mermaid 1989-Great characters and music make this a classic

5.Shrek 2-Gold standard for fairy tale parodies

4.Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs -Of the classic Disney fairytales this one FEELS most like a fairy tale

3.Beauty and the Beast :A cinematic classic

2.Puss In Boots the Last Wish :ALmost made this number one

1.Sleeping Beauty -Pitch Perfect fairy tale movie for me

@ariel-seagull-wings @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @autistic-prince-cinderella @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking@scarletblumburtonofeastlondon @filmcityworld1 @princesssarisa

[screendimdotcom]

In "Madame Web," Sony's ill-conceived venture into the Spider-Verse, the web of intrigue quickly unravels into a tangle of cinematic follies. The 2024 film, which aimed to ensnare audiences with the enigmatic tale of Cassandra Webb, instead traps viewers in a web of disappointment.

Let me get the "Well, duh" comments out of the way...

1) The "great power" line has now become a mangled mess of itself. The fact that it is butchered in this film, and repeated, made me facepalm so hard the guy sat behind me got hit in the face too.

2) Tahar Rahim's dialogue, was it dubbed? It looked out of sync several times in the movie, sometimes so badly lip-synched it made me look around to see if anyone else had seen the same thing?

3) BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. BUY PEPSI. 

4) Yep - they pulled another "Rhino" a la The Amazing Spider-Man 2. The Spider-Women suit up at the end of the film in a flash-forward for all of 30 seconds. They spend the whole film building up to what the people actually want to see and then end it.

So where to begin with this muddled mess? The plot, if one can be generous enough to call it that, is an aimless meander through a series of inexplicably bizarre events that seem to serve no purpose other than to fill time. The dialogue is a trainwreck of cringe-worthy one-liners and heavy-handed exposition that bludgeons the audience with subtlety of a sledgehammer. Every character introduction is a tedious affair, with them announcing their names and purposes with the enthusiasm of a hostage reading a ransom note. This film makes Morbius look like a masterpiece.

Then there's the humor – or what passes for it in this film. The jokes are so painfully unfunny that one must wonder if they were included as some form of avant-garde anti-comedy.

Directorial decisions only exacerbate the suffering. The numerous desperate references to the wider Spider-Man universe come off as a sibling screaming for attention rather than clever nods. The references are shoehorned in with the grace of a wrecking ball, leaving fans to nurse their second-hand embarrassment.

Performances across the board are astonishingly flat. Dakota Johnson, tasked with bringing Madame Web to life, delivers her lines with all the conviction of someone reciting the phone book. The supporting cast isn’t much better, with each member seemingly in their own disjointed film – a cacophony of conflicting genres and styles that never gel.

Action sequences are so poorly choreographed and edited that one can almost hear the director's sigh of resignation. Quick cuts and shaky cam attempt to inject excitement but instead induce a sense of motion sickness. The CGI, a critical component for any superhero flick, is an abomination – it would seem the effects budget was slashed in a boardroom and never restored.

The film's attempts to be dark and edgy are undercut by its own absurdity. It tries to take itself seriously, yet it’s hard to do so when the villain’s master plan seems to have been concocted during a fever dream. There's a subplot involving the future that is so nonsensical it could be a time-travel paradox in itself.

Editing seems to have been done with a chainsaw, lurching from scene to scene with jarring inconsistency. Scenes of potential emotional weight are butchered in favor of more screen time for bewildering subplots. There's a Pepsi product placement so blatant it could be a commercial, and a premonition sequence so ludicrous it makes Madame Web’s psychic abilities seem as believable as a horoscope in a candy wrapper.

Musical choices are equally lazy and obnoxious - with the inclusion of Britney Spears' "Toxic" making the audience eye-roll.

"Madame Web" is a cinematic calamity, a film so woefully executed that it becomes a parody of itself. It's a movie that not only fails to capture the essence of its source material but also fails to provide the most basic elements of storytelling. This film doesn't swing from the heights; it trips over its own laces at the starting line. Madame Web's real precognition would have been to foresee its own critical demise and spare us all by remaining an untold story. The only saving grace is that the film eventually ends, releasing the audience from its bewildering web of woe.

[hellhoundmaggie]

Tag ask game!

I got tagged by: @georgiedoesntfloat Thank you!

Last song you listened to: Intentionally? "The Mothman Song (Believe in the Power of the Mothman!)" by The Paranormal Song Warrior. It's just so silly and delightful!

Unintentionally? The classical piece from this Simpsons meme video. Shazam tells me it's the overture from La gazza ladra.

Last movie you watched: Disney's Beauty and the Beast. It's a comfort movie for me!

Currently watching: Legend of Korra, ESOTERICA, Atun-Shei Films, Law & Order: SVU and Organized Crime

Other things I've watched this year: Netflix's John Wayne Gacy Tapes, a little bit of Friday the 13th Part VII (the first one with Kane Hodder), a bunch of YouTube video essays, whatever my spouse feels like watching

Currently reading: My friend's unpublished manuscript!

Currently listening to: The trans antifascist superheroine you've never heard of . by Thought Slime

Currently working on: Knitting a hat, shopping for Christmas presents, planning an Avatar Legends TTRPG campaign, learning about demonology, procrastinating on writing

Current obsession: My Scarlet Hollow fandom has led me to dabble in Western esotericism. I just ordered a fancy copy of Johann Wier's Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, a 16th-century text that was meant to parody demonological books but ended up being a big influence on sincere demonology and magical practice down to this very day. It's going to teach me about 69 (nice) demons and how to summon them!

Tagging if you'd like to! : @crestoflames , @shanklinthestabpossum, @marshvlovestv, @maytheratseatureyes, @thedeafprophet, @the-defiant-heiress, @nimbexy, @tangled-wires-and-a-dead-heart

[s10127470]

The Reason Why Modern Disney Villains Suck

I don’t think this movie needs any introduction….

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is an absolute godsend of a film. From the stunning and vibrant animation obviously inspired by Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, but with its own flair (heavily inspired by paintings and storybooks), to the surprisingly gripping and mature story about the value of life and coming to terms with your morality.

This film has become an immediate masterpiece among critics and audiences alike.

And one of the film’s MANY praises is in regards to its characters…..or more specifically, it’s villains.

This film has not one….but SIX villains!

This was quite impressive since….

Villains in animated films have become somewhat rare nowadays.

2. The fact that each of them were executed perfectly!

Undoubtedly most of the praises has been going to Big Jack Horner and Death, who both harken back to classic villain archetypes.

Jack Horner is a classic evil-for-the-sake-of-it villain who knows he’s a massive piece of shit and relishes in it. And although he’s incredibly comedic, he’s still treated like a legitimate threat.

and Death is a classic serious, ruthless villain who’s pretty much a force of nature and serves as the biggest obstacle to our heroes.

As a result of these god-tier villains, a lot of people have been looking back on the once-undisputed king of animated villains Disney….and their frankly pathetic villain outing over the last decade.

If you want some more context of this, I suggest watching Schaffrillas’ “So is Disney Just Never Gonna Have A Real Villain Again?”

If you want to check out real quick, here it is.

Basically, Disney’s strategy with villains since 2013 has either been poorly-executed twist villains, forces of nature with no personality, characters who act incredibly antagonistic to only end up getting undeservedly redeemed in the end, or no real villain at all.

Everyone has already gone into detail on why their villain strategy failed miserably, but no one has never really gone into detail on why they’ve been doing in the first place.

Well, I think I might know the reason why…..

Ever since the mid-to-late 2000s, Disney has shown some self-awareness to their common tropes.

Going all the way back to films like Chicken Little and Disenchanted.

The latter even being a parody of their classic films, in the veins of Shrek.

They would continue on with some of this occasional meta humor in later films like Frozen, Moana, and Wreck-it Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet.

And in all honesty, everytime they do something like this, I can’t help but roll my eyes.

It’s not only because like a lot of people, I've grown mighty tired of meta humor, but also because they reflect a bigger problem.

It’s pretty obvious that Disney has been listening to criticism towards their films from the past.

And while they may seem good, the criticism that Disney seems to be responding to either falls into the category of bad faith criticism or nitpicks.

The live-action remakes might be the best example of this, especially in the case of the upcoming Little Mermaid remake.

In some behind the scenes interview for the film, several people frequently mention that tired old myth about Ariel giving up her voice in order to be with a boy, when she really didn’t.

Ariel gave up her voice because she wanted to finally be able to explore the surface world, something she had been dreaming about her whole life. However, a lot of numbskulls and snooty critics misinterpreted this and eventually led Disney to feel the same way.

Perhaps one of the most notable results from this self-awareness is the lack of romance in many recent films, particularly in their princess films.

Tangled was the last major princess film to have a major focus on romance.

I know there’s Frozen, but the romance with Anna and Kristoff didn’t really spark until about the end of the film.

I do understand that not every film needs to have romance, some people, myself included, feel like the reason they’ve either been exempted or downplayed is because Disney feels like their female protagonists being in romantic relationships would make them come off as weak.

Most of this criticism is obviously directed towards the three original Disney Princesses: Snow White, Cinderella and Aurora.

Look, the main problem wasn’t the fact that they were weak (with the possible exception of Aurora), it was the fact that their relationships between their respective princes were virtually non-existent.

Seriously though, the princes before Eric either had no personality at all, barely appeared in the movie, or didn’t even fucking talk.

And although that major flaw had been fixed with the Disney Renaissance films, which but a greater emphasis on both the male and female leads, it seems critics and numbskulls used this major flaw that only really applied to the earlier films and tried to apply it to all of the other films.

The reason I bring this up because I feel like this is the reason why Disney has been so pitiful with their villains.

Their villain strategy pretty much started off with the notorious twist villain trio: Hans, Bellwether, and Mr. That Was His Mistake himself, Callaghan.

Everyone has already gone into detail why these twist villains didn’t work and failed miserably.

I feel like the reason did these twist villains were done was because a lot of their previous villains were said to have been pretty obvious in the fact that they were the bad guys.

While most people wouldn’t really see that as a bad thing, apparently some numbskulls and critics did. And eventually, so did Disney.

I’m assuming the reason Disney did these twist villains because they felt that they would automatically be better than the villains of the past simply because their villainy wouldn’t be revealed right away.

Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to understand what made a good twist villain….

Ironic given that they have shown in the past that they are capable to making good twist villains like Rourke and King Candy.

But after that, Disney (thankfully) pretty stopped doing twist villains….and villains in general.

Ever since Moana, there hasn’t been a Disney film with an actual villain.

And while I do understand that not every film needs a villain, there have been some cases where a clear cut villain would’ve greatly benefited the film.

Films like Frozen II and Strange World would’ve worked well with a villain, especially the latter given the obvious environmental message.

I feel like the reason Disney isn’t really attempting to do villains anymore is most likely because of the Twist Villain Trio and the negative backlash they received.

As a result, it led them to believe that nobody wanted villains in their movies anymore.

Here’s the thing that literally everyone has been saying.

WE STILL WANT VILLAINS IN OUR MOVIES!!!!

These characters are not only some of the most iconic characters in animation, but also fiction as a whole!

People love these baddies, their wild personalities, and just seeing them relish in being utterly terrible people.

And worst of all....Disney clearly knows how popular their classic villains are!

For God's sake, they literally have an entire franchise dedicated to these characters!

I feel like another reason from them not having villains is because of the current landscape in modern media.

It's no surprise that during the 2010s, we've seen a notable increase of villains who were either twist villains, had tragic and sympathetic backstories, were something of anti-heroes, or even got redemption arcs.

And while these elements aren't inherently bad by any means, I do feel it did leave a notable impact on entertainment and general audiences.

Classic villains became increasingly rare and even audiences began to believe that classic villains couldn't work anymore in this day and age, the reason being that they believe that not everything is black and white.

And while on one hand, I do understand where they're coming from, but here's the thing.

Some people seem to believe that there are no good or evil people in the real world. But in reality, there are.

There have and always will be legitimately good and legitimately evil people in the real world.

And going back to Puss in Boots real quick, I feel like the characters of Death and especially Jack Horner really made people realize just how much they missed seeing actual, unapologetically evil villains.

And because of this, its led people to look back at Disney and wonder what the hell they've been doing lately with their villains....or lack thereof.

I mean the fact that DreamWorks manage to not only outdo Disney (the former king of animated villains) not only in terms of quality and profit last year, but also villains, is both hilarious and legitimately sad.

Anyway, that's all for now. Let me know what you guys think about Disney's recent villain problem.

[septembersghost]

The stigma specifically around E and how embarrassing it is to love his music or care about him as a person is so sad to me :(

i know, i was just reading someone on twt coping with this today, and she said how people will talk about showing love/kindness to others and then make the most insensitive jokes imaginable when it comes to him. it's...unfair and there are a lot of reasons for it, from the way he was treated and viewed while living, even with the (glow and burden) of that idol status, to the cruelty and parody in how he was discussed and often satirized after his death. the trouble with the concept of an "idol" itself is the erasure of humanity and depth, and how easily that becomes flattened and static. steve wrote this in his book about the '68 special:

because he was treated like a bit of a sideshow by the industry, that specter of mean-spiritedness has been hard to shake. it settled in to the cultural idea, no matter how that's fabricated. even people who might be aware of the harm of ableism and classism, or the damage of shaming mental health and addiction, there's this jadedness because e's been parodied so often that it's become a disconnect from understanding what was going on in his life, what he represents as an artist, and the human being at the core of it. there's too much of this tangle to even unweave. it's part of why the film restoring that is so valuable, but obviously...it's not going the reach the people it's not going to reach, you know? it's rather bizarre that there's still even a certain judgment/farcical attitude towards anyone who cares, as you mentioned, and it's so multilayered in its dismissiveness, having to do with such an array of aspects (his background and stereotypes of the south, the persona and image, the movies often as an albatross, the unkind jokes, the outright falsehoods, the myths) that are difficult to dismantle. and it's disheartening how easily people lean into that cruelty and shaming, and that there's nothing we can do about it except hope they learn better or that they'll just go away/not be in our space. it's hard and i wish we could change so much of that for him altogether, but we can only hold onto what we know, what we learn, what we feel, and the truths and love (or comfort or interest or understanding or happiness) we find there.

[romancomicsblog]

Who should be the main villain of Superman: Legacy?

The Man of Steel has faced countless enemies since his earliest appearance in the late 1930s. However, in live action he tends to face only a handful of his enemies, usually being Lex Luthor or General Zod.

With James Gunn's new DCU comes a new Superman in David Corenswet, and an opportunity to see Superman face one of the more unique enemies he possesses. I'd like to pitch a couple of ideas for enemies we can see him face in his newest film.

I will be pitching 5 villains I can potentially see as the main antagonist for this movie. I will only be pitching villains we have yet to see in live action film, so no Zod, Doomsday, or Luthor.

I also want to build on the fact that he is a younger hero. This should not be a gigantic threat like Darkseid, he's just starting out, so he needs someone who is a challenge for him to start but isn't overly powerful.

There are also other heroes in this movie, namely Green Lantern, Metamorpho, Hawkgirl, and Mister Terrific, all heavy hitters. So our villain needs to be the right level of formidable to other heroes, a challenge for a young Superman, but ultimately a win for Clark.

5. The Toyman

Winslow Schott is an inventor and toymaker who uses his inventions to commit crimes and often tangle with the Man of Steel. His inventions always lean on the silly side, robot teddy bears, giant robot Nutcrackers, you get the gist.

While he is often a nuisance and less of a threat in the comics, I think done right he can be a very creepy villain.

I can see him as a disgruntled LexCorp employee whose designs are being stolen, or perhaps a crazed hero fan who is mad he was not asked to be on the prototype Guy Gardner led by the Justice League.

If we wanted to go older and sillier, I can see a comedian like Jack Black having a lot of fun with a role like this.

While the character is fun, he may be too much of a layup for the Man of Steel. Perhaps as intro to the movie, we can see Superman taking him on, but not as the main villain of the movie.

4. Lobo

The main man himself is due for his time in the spotlight.

Lobo is an intergalactic bounty hunter who is often butting heads with the Man of Steel. Lobo is an arrogant, intense, and powerful warrior whose only law is the agreement he made for his bounty.

Originally meant to be a parody of grim and gritty superhero stories in the 90s, the character was enthusiastically loved by fans, and has been a big DC character ever since.

Having Lobo be this force that comes to Earth to kill the final Kryptonian from an unknown greater evil could make for an interesting movie. He is a villain who could put up a good fight against our Justice League, and give Superman a run for his money.

Because he is a bounty hunter, he is not necessarily evil, and if he can be reasoned with, we could see him back in future movies, maybe even as an uneasy ally to Superman.

Most people want Mamoa, and I understand why, but I think this would be a fun place to put an actor like Rob McElhenney. Have him play a dirtbag badass from across the galaxy can be fun.

While I like this story, I think we can save Lobo for a better place than an origin movie.

3. Metallo

Metallo is a Kryptonite powered cyborg named John Corben, who was experimented on by Professor Vale to become a weapon against what he believes to be an oncoming Alien Invasion in Superman.

Metallo is strong, tragic, and powered by Supermans greatest weakness. He is not only a match for our Justice League, but fatal to Superman.

I can see a version where Lex Luthor "saves" this John from a near fatal accident and turns him into Metallo to test and hopefully kill Superman. (My Luthor is Sterling K Brown by the way).

While Luthor would be the main villain in the shadows, Metallo would be the main threat of the movie.

This puts Superman directly in the path of someone he can't fight or save with his powers. He'll have to stop him with his heart and kindness. I like that idea.

I'd like a younger actor who can be menacing but can display great pain. A Dacre Montgomery type would be ideal for me.

I think Metallo is an excellent starter villain that can determine what kind of hero Clark is going to be.

2. Parasite

Rudy Jones was a janitor at STAR Labs. After being exposed to a waste container, Jones was granted the ability to steal energy from people, leaving them dead or ill. From super powered individuals however, Parasite can absorb and all abilities, leaving heroes incapacitated.

The idea of a meta who can steal abilities away from a team like the Justice League would make for an excellent challenge for Superman. While I don't love his origin, I think you can fix that by making him a test subject at STAR Labs or a metahuman who has to take his entire life to survive. Someone Superman would have to talk to to me seems like a good end to the movie.

I kind of want angry troubled energy, so I'm imagining Aaron Paul here. I could see him crying talking to Superman at the end of the movie, hurt.

1. Bizzaro

Bizzaro is sometimes a duplication of the Man of Steel, often created by Lex Luthor, who is sometimes a villain, sometimes an antihero. While he is a physical match for Superman, he isn't exactly his cerebral match. Often times he is similar to a child, with the opposite abilities of Superman. (Fire breath, and Ice Vision)

What is fun about Bizzaro is he often tries to emulate Superman instead of destroy him, causing more trouble trying to be good then evil. The first bit of the movie Clark can fight him, try to turn him good, fail, and have to try a new method.

I am a fan of villains who are troubled or are trying to do good but can't seem to get it right due to pain or trauma. With a character like Bizzaro, we can have someone who is a match to Clark, but isn't trying to hurt anyone. Just trying to exist, and he needs guidance.

Bizzaro can than be a fun side character for Superman to bounce off. A weird cousin who shows up from time to time to help Clark in big fights, maybe even die at the hands of one his major enemies like Zod, Darkseid or Luthor. There are a lot of fun avenues to take Bizzaro than just meathead villain.

I also don't want Corenswet to play Bizzaro. What's fun about him is he isn't exactly Superman, he's off. We can have an actor who looks similar to a Superman type, like Reid Scott.

If you really wanna have some fun. Give it Cavill or Routh. Give them a chance to dawn the tights in a different way.

I hope they do Metallo, Parasite or Bizzaro, and have Clark have to level with them at a human level. That is the most Superman thing to me, and would be an excellent start to Superman's story.

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to support me, you can follow me on my socials here!

[historyhermann]

“Phineas and Ferb”: An Animated Series All Can Enjoy

Candace tells her mom that her brothers are making a title sequence in the show's opening song

Phineas and Ferb tells the story of two stepbrothers who try to keep themselves occupied during their summer vacation, building elaborate inventions, while their sister tries to bust them and expose them to her mom, hoping to get recognition.

Reprinted from The Geekiary, my History Hermann WordPress blog on Feb. 15, 2023, and Wayback Machine. This was the fiftieth article I wrote for The Geekiary. This post was originally published on August 11, 2022.

Phineas and Ferb is an animated musical, comedy, and science fantasy series created by Dan Povenmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. They are a long-time animation writing duo who worked together on The Simpsons and Rocko's Modern Life. With the show debuting in August 2007, the series ran for four seasons and over 120 episodes. The series finale aired on June 15, 2015.

As a warning, this recommendation discusses some spoilers for the four seasons of Phineas and Ferb.

Candace happily talks on the phone while her brother, Phineas, pushes an elephant in the background, and his pet platypus, Perry, walks behind him in the show's opening sequence

Phineas and Ferb centers around two stepbrothers, Phineas Flynn (Vincent Martella) and Ferb Fletcher (Thomas Brodie-Sangster). They live in the city of Danville and go on adventures during their summer vacation. Often their older teenage sister, Candace Flynn (Ashley Tisdale) attempts to bust them. She also tries to garner attention Jeremy Johnson (Mitchel Musso), a boy she likes.

If that isn't absurd enough, the animal companion of Phineas and Ferb is a platypus named Perry. While he acts like an animal who can't "do anything" when around his human family. In actuality, he is a secret agent who is a member of O.W.C.A. (Organization Without a Cool Acronym). He faces off against the devious, yet bumbling, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmitz (Dan Povenmire). Doof has a rival named Rodney (Joe Orrantia) and is a member of the group of villains named L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N..

These storylines are interlaced with running gags, surreal and situational comedy. This involves word jokes, pop culture parodies, metahumor, wordplay, blank stares, and breaking the fourth wall.

In many ways, the series has many similarities to Milo Murphy's Law, a sci-fi action adventure comedy set in the same universe as Phineas and Ferb. This carries over in its tones and characters. The second season of Milo Murphy's Law becomes a full-fledged crossover with some characters from Phineas and Ferb.

Phineas and Ferb was often promoted by Disney during its long run. There were live-action talk shows, two crossover episodes, and two television films. The first film, Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension aired in 2011.

The second Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe aired in 2020. The latter film is the most recent animation of the franchise's characters, apart from Chibi Tiny Tales. However, revival series for The Proud Family, and for Moana and The Princess and the Frog film characters, may mean Disney might revive Phineas and Ferb.

Many of the show's characters shown at the end of the Season 2 episode "Rollercoaster: The Musical!"

The series is unique because it has a blended family. It is more common in pop culture now than when the series aired. Apart from Phineas, Ferb, and Candace, their mom, Linda Flynn-Fletcher (Caroline Rhea), and their dad Lawrence Fletcher (Richard O'Brien) are recurring characters. Occasionally Linda's parents, Clyde (Barry Bostwick) and Betty Jo (Rhea), and Lawrence's parents, Reginald (Malcolm McDowell) and Winifred (Jane Carr) appear.

This family focus is reflected in many songs and musical numbers throughout the series. There's even a fictional rock band named Love Händel. This is not unique. Disney characters in Elena of Avalor, Kim Possible, Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, and The Ghost and Molly McGee sing about how families are wholesome and without fault.

Kim Possible, a Disney series, has similarities, dialogue that caters to adult viewers, and visual jokes. However, Phineas and Ferb is different. It lacks in racial diversity among the cast. There are many White characters, such as a bully named Buford van Stomm (Bobby Gaylor), Carl the Intern (Tyler Alexander Mann), the hippyish friend of Candace, Jenny Brown (Stoner), and Doofenshirtz's ex-wife, Charlene (Allison Janey).

Characters who are people of color are the minority. They include two characters of Jewish Mexican descent: Isabella Garcia-Shapiro (Alyson Stoner), and Vivian Garcia-Shapiro (Eileen Galindo). Also, Baljeet Tjinder (Maulik Pancholy) is of Indian descent and Stacy Hirano (Kelly Hu) and is of Japanese descent.

Some fans of the show from South Asia, and Baljeet, criticized the series for problematic, and stereotypical character traits. In an interview in May 2021, Dan Povenmire asked people to not use the character's name as an insult. He said that these criticisms of Baljeet, and the show, were valid. Povenmire stated that during the show, they leaned into cultural differences of Baljeet, and characters from other cultures, which "may have not aged well". He also argued that Baljeet became a "more well-rounded character" through the course of the show.

At the same time, there are many non-human characters. Apart from Perry, there's Isabella's pet chihuahua, Pinky, and many O.W.C.A agents. Both of which have voice effects by Dee Bradley Baker. There's also a robot created by Doofenshmirtz, Norm (John Viener). Pinky, like Perry, faces a villain, Prof. Esmeralda Poofenplotz (Amanda Plummer). She has a boss named Admiral Wanda Acronym (Jane Leeves).

Candace and Vanessa talk in the end of the episode "Night of the Living Pharmacists", the last time they appear together in the series proper

In April 2021, Dan Povenmire, co-creator of Milo Murphy’s Law and Phineas and Ferb, announced in a Tik Tok comment in that Perry the Platypus was asexual. This led to discourse on Twitter on the topic. Some praised him as a “king” and an “icon”, made the show more interesting to watch, and a win for asexuals. Others said that making the only animal character in the series is not something you get “brownie points” for and bemoaned the lack of asexual representation.

That representation after-the-fact, was better than gay vibes or subtext that fans can take from the series. Just as various fans support the slash ship between Cavendish and Dakota in Milo Murphy's Law, Dakavendish, according to the Shipping Wiki fandom listing, some fans of Phineas and Ferb ship Buford and Baljeet (Bujeet), the two Doofensmirtz (Doofcest), Ferb and Bauljeet (Ferbjeet), Phineas and Dipper (Phindip), Candace and Stacy (Candacy), or Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella (Phinerbella).

However, one ship stands out: the one between Candace and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz (Olivia Olson). Called "Candessa" by fans, it has a small following on social media platforms and even has a subreddit dedicated to it. Unfortunately, the show's canon somewhat invalidates the ship as it shows Vanessa and Ferb together in a future episode, making Ferbnessa canon. The show's writing and scenes make the Phinabella ship between Phineas and Isabella, and Canderemy ship between Candace and Jeremy canon. Even so, there is no heterosexual explanation for how Candace and Vanessa act around one another.

On the other hand, as Alex Henderson pointed out in his review criticizing heteronormivity in Spy x Family, a story can "have queer themes even if it doesn’t have queer representation" and have queer readings even if there isn't any direct acknowledgement of "any queer issues within its narrative or any of its narrative framings." This is the case for Phineas and Ferb, with heteronormivity and gender norms communicated through the dress, clothing colors, mannerisms, and actions of characters. For one, Marsh has said that there are LGBTQ characters in the series, but did not give any names.

Furthermore, Swampy hoped that the son "Rebels Let's Go" would be a "LGBT anthem", while the voice actor of Phineas, Vincent Martella, said that neither Phineas, nor Ferb, are TERFs. Additionally, at the beginning of the episode "Act Your Age", Povenmire and Swampy said that Perry would not have a girlfriend, hinting at possible asexuality.

Some of the voice actors are part of the LGBTQ community. Stoner came out in March 2016, saying she was "attracted to men, women, and people who identify in other ways". She later said that she wanted to remain fluid at how she described her sexual orientation. Stoner voiced a lesbian character in The Loud House named Sam Sharp. In addition, Baljeet's voice actor, Pancholy, came out as gay in 2013.

Queer fans of Phineas and Ferb have headcanoned Doofenshmirtz, Candace, and Vanessa as bisexual, Roger Doofensmirtz (Doof's brother) as gay, Ferb and Phineas as non-binary, and Stacey as trans. Others found canon support for Bujeet. This makes sense, as does seeming acknowledgement that Perry is trans male, even if headcanons don't make sense. After all, Martella came out strongly in support of the LGBTQ community, to give one example.

Some fans may headcanon Candace as trans since she has a deep voice when she is near parsnips. She also sings about changing her name to "Larry" in the song "Come Home Perry".

The show has been very influential. Olson's voice role in the series is one of the reasons that Pendleton Ward, the Adventure Time creator, had her voice Marceline in Adventure Time. In fact, I'm almost certain I learned about Phineas and Ferb, when Pamela Adlon, who voiced a character in the aforementioned series, sang the theme song of the series. She sang it along with other characters of Better Things.

Phineas and Ferb has similarities to animated series about super spies and covert organizations. While Inside Job had a hilarious episode which parodied spy thrillers, the French and Canadian action comedy series, Totally Spies! had the most similarities. In that series, Alexandra "Alex", Clover, and "Sam" Samantha are teenagers who fight evildoers on the side. They work for the World Organization of Human Protection (WOOHP). Their boss, Jerry, is like Major Monogram (Jeff "Swampy" Marsh) in Phineas and Ferb.

However, since it took 15 years before Disney accepted the series, and it aired on Disney, it is unlikely that Totally Spies! influenced Phineas and Ferb. Additionally, some have called Doof the most "human villain" on TV. This makes him different from villains or malcontents within Totally Spies!, which will return for another season next year.

The series also featured many well-known voices. For example, Ming-Na Wen, Corey Burton, Cloris Leachman, Meera Syal, and Kari Wahlgren voice characters in the series. There are also a plethora of guest stars such as Phil LaMarr, Keith Ferguson, Kevin Michael Richardson, John DiMaggio, George Takei, and Stan Lee.

Povenmire and Swampy have used the series to springboard into their own projects. Povenmire is leading the soon-to-premiere action-comedy-superhero series, Hamster & Gretel. In an interview with him, and his daughter, Meli, who is voicing the show's protagonist, Gretel, he said he has ADHD. It was implied that Gretel has ADHD as well. The series will also feature Stoner as Lauren / The Destructress.

Swampy is an executive producer and director of S.A.L.E.M.: The Secret Archive of Legends, Enchantments, and Monsters, an indie animated series by Samantha "Sam" Sawyer about a non-binary cryptid named Salem. He is a founder of the company Surfer Jack Productions.

It remains to be seen if Povenmire and Swampy will work together in a future series. They seem to be going off in their own directions, rather than collaborating together as they did on Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law.

Despite the lack of diversity in cast and lack of openly LGBTQ characters in Phineas and Ferb, something which recent Disney series like The Ghost and Molly McGee, Amphibia, and The Owl House, it still stands out as a strong series. I would unequivocally recommend the series.

Currently, Phineas and Ferb is streaming on Disney+ and Prime Video, with the first season available for free on YouTube.

© 2022-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

I WANT A NEW BUG

Opening in theaters this weekend:

Renfield--The wild-eyed, insect-gobbling toady to the Vampire Prince became a horror icon in his own right more than ninety years ago, when the great Dwight Frye unleashed his unforgettable giggle in Universal's original Dracula. It's a little surprising that he hasn't been given his own movie vehicle sooner.

But while Nicholas Hoult, who plays the title role in this horror spoof from Universal, briefly gets to do a respectable imitation of Frye's deranged laugh (hrrrr, hrrrr, hrrrrrrr....), he otherwise plays R. M. Renfield without mania, as a modest, mild-mannered, good-hearted fellow. He's also an action hero; munching bugs gives him superhuman strength and martial arts skills and recuperative powers.

His decades of servitude have made him reflective as well; he's come to entertain the possibility that he might just be in a toxic relationship with his boss. He's started attending a support group for people in a similar boat, both to explore his own emotional needs and to scout for victims--the abusers that people at the meetings describe--to serve as food to his convalescing sanguinary master.

The film is set in modern-day New Orleans, where Renfield has brought the charred remains of Dracula after the duo's last tangle with fearless vampire killers. The Count isn't looking well, but he's still able to bully and shame his poor lackey into submission, and he's a little more menacingly intact every time we see him. Then when Renfield comes to the attention of both a local crime family and of a New Orleans cop (Awkwafina) with an angry grudge against the gangsters, he must decide whose priorities he will focus on, Drac's or his own.

Directed by Chris McKay from a script by Ryan Ridley and a story by Robert Kirkman, Renfield is very silly and often heavy-handed. It's extremely gory, but like last month's Cocaine Bear, the gore is played strictly for laughs and lacks any true shock; it's too insubstantial to pack much punch even as a gross-out. The satirical points about modern self-help culture and pop psychology are trenchant enough, but they've pretty much exhausted themselves before the film is half over.

That said, Renfield is colorful, fast-moving and full of comedic invention, and Hoult is charming and easy to root for. Awkwafina pushes pretty hard, as she has in almost all her movies except The Farewell, but she also gets across an honest fury and grief, and when she lets herself connect with Hoult she lightens up agreeably. Shohreh Agdashloo has a gleefully sinister glint in her eyes as the queen of the crime family, Ben Schwartz is properly loath-able as her imbecilic son, and the support group offers some fine character players.

The movie would carry a lot less weight, however, without its other Nick. Growling through a mouth full of pointy teeth, seething with grievance at his reduced circumstances and unable to maintain the air of grand menace he's trying for, Nicholas Cage offers probably the goofiest parody version of Drac since George Hamilton in Love at First Bite back in 1979. Unlike Hamilton's, however, Cage's Count isn't meant to be lovable. Cage sinks his fangs into the role, and taps a rich vein of malignant narcissism.

[runawaycarouselhorse]

Disney had higher budget animation, so their stuff looks more polished and the characters have consistently good voice acting and singing voices compared to Barbie, and Barbie suffered a bit from the weird... glammed-up animal friends that look like they're wearing makeup (Tika's eyelashes...), but yeah, especially more recent Disney movies... Barbie movies had nicer stories, characters who felt more human, had clearer messages (The Island Princess and Princess and the Pauper especially had very nice messages), and felt less "the character's entire personality is one or two character traits/one running gag" and, quite frankly, more respect for young girls.

Disney's often better at world-building though, Barbie movies tend to be very focused on telling the main character's story, the worlds feel smaller, and don't linger or breathe very much and don't have much going on outside of the story, but I can chalk that up, again, to budget constraints (they don't even have many character models and you can see them recycle some from older films a lot, if they need to populate a scene, so you don't usually see much of that, fff.)

Never forget that the only reason Tangled and Brave have titled like that are because, ironically, Disney's scared that movies with Princess titles don't do well in the box office. A company shying away from naming the heroine in the title because it might alienate boys and won't sell well, how's that supposed to do well targeting something at girls?

Also, Barbie films embraced their inherent girliness and whimsy (can I just have something genuine and sweet, everything does not have to be wry, parody-esque, cynical, mocking... it was fun and fresh the first few times, but come on) and oldschool Disney fairy tale movie charm, while Disney was busy trying to compete with DreamWorks by mocking itself and its history. The last Disney offers I liked were Big Hero 6, The Princess and the Frog, and Enchanted (which felt tongue-in-cheek in its teasing of its classic princesses, but also embraced their best traits and Giselle's kindness, sweetness, optimism, etc. touches and inspires those around her. ^^)

(And many of us theorize that Tangled/Disney's Rapunzel painting hobby was probably influenced by Barbie's Rapunzel being a painter too. <<)

most barbie movies from the 00s were better than like half of disney movies and that’s the truest tea

[lulu2992]

Ask meme!

I was tagged by @simplegenius042! Thank you :)

Rules: Share your 7 comfort films.

I’m not sure what “comfort film” means to me, but here are, in no particular order, films I like and that I’ve watched and rewatched many times in my life (sometimes just partially):

1. Mulan (1998)

2. Sucker Punch (2011)

3. Pocahontas (1995)

4. Tangled (2010)

5. Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005 - “Complete” version in 2009) (to be honest, mostly because of the French parody Banal Fantasy, which made my cousin and me cry with laughter like 18 years ago, helped me de-stress before my final exams ten years later, and introduced me to the Compilation of FFVII)

6. Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016)

For the 7h one, I considered Balto (1995) or The Land Before Time (1988) because I used to watch them often as a child, or even Tarzan (1997) because it’s also one of my favorite childhood movies, but if I’m being honest, I think it has to be:

7. La Tour Montparnasse Infernale (2001)

It seems it had an English title, Don’t Die Too Hard!, but I’m not sure it was a good idea to export internationally, partly because many jokes seem untranslatable. Even in France, people generally either hate it or love it. For me, it’s the kind of film that never fails to make you laugh and whose lines you quote all the time with your family. It’s only associated with good memories, so yeah, it has its place here :)

[sugaandyams]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Haikyuu!! Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Kinoshita Hisashi/Nishinoya Yuu Characters: Ennoshita Chikara, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Narita Kazuhito, Kinoshita Hisashi, Nishinoya Yuu, Akaashi Keiji, Yachi Hitoka, Tsukishima Kei, Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama Tobio, Yahaba Shigeru, Michimiya Yui (mentioned) Additional Tags: Ennoshita makes a parody of Tangled Series: Part 2 of Karasuno 2nd Years Fanweek 2020 Summary:

Ennoshita has the brilliant idea to make his next movie parody of Tangled.