#talking to ppl is one of my favourite things ever i think there are so many incredible ppl to find out more about and become friends with
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the day am fans realise that miles/milex shippers are less problematic and harmful to the fandom than lv/her supporters will be one of the best days of my life
rant incoming because I'm going insane:
i will never ever understand why am fans have so much beef with milex shippers.
i have been in SO many fandoms throughout my life, I've been obsessed with SO many bands whose members are shipped to the point of insanity, and it was never a problem. sure, some people didn't like the ships, but why are so many am fans acting like this is something unique? bts, mcr, dan and phil, harry potter, I've seen fucking everything. every other fandom in the world are just this obsessed with their ships, trying to prove that two men are fucking, posting theories and so on. shipping was always a thing in fandoms and always will be, especially if we're talking about male celebrities and teenage girls.
having said this, the kind of fandom i have never been in is one where grown ass women bring this much toxicity to the community and behave like children. there are hundreds of celebrities whose girlfriends are not liked by the fans, but no girlfriend ever engaged this much with the haters, probably because they realised that it would only make things worse, and the fans would hate them even more.
we could've had some peaceful end of the tour content, but no, we have this instead. every few months something has to be done by a certain someone in order for people to pay attention to her, and so that in the end fans will forget the reason they're fans and engage in stupid shit like this, defeating the whole purpose of being a music fan.
all this drama is slowly making me not want to have anything to do with am or the fandom anymore. if not for miles and him being connected to am, i would've stopped giving a fuck about alex years ago (technically not through his fault, but then also because of him). this whole thing just makes me sad because miles does not deserve to be associated with these people and the fact that he will never be able to get rid of them is so not it.
#look i could talk about this for hours but it makes me so angry it's best to just stop#i saved the spiciest things for the tags#matt used to be my favourite but now i cannot even stand to hear his name#such a disappointment i really thought he was better than this#which also makes me question what the hell alex sees in him#and then again alex is probably not the best person in the world#which i guess we knew ever since the absolutely disgusting behaviour towards taylor and him being friends with ppl like josh homme#and cameron avery#sigh#it's just a shame that his music is really good#(anyone looking to buy some am vinyls? 😂)#oh miles the things i endure for you#i have such a love/hate relationship with alex it's crazy#one second i love him the other i never want to see him again#which then makes me think about how different things would be if he had a different girlfriend#she really ruined absolutely everything#(not) sorry#rant#alex turner#milex#louise verneuil#arctic monkeys
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why do i feel like there’s some sort of veil between me and the rest of the world
#like i just feel like there’s this weird seperation#ppl all seem to have such full lives and be so connected with friends and stuff#but it feels like i can’t fully join in??#like i have friends and ppl i love and hobbies and whatever like i have a life#but sometimes it feels like i blinked one day and everyone else found their ppl and their super close knit#and i’m just like?? how do i cross this invisible curtain between me and everyone else#like sometimes i meet someone and we get along super well and then we just don’t hang out more#maybe bc i suck at texting ppl back#but i feel like nothing ever deepens#anyway#ignore me#today was a good day#apart from one thing lol#even on here like i love love love my mutuals but i lowkey feel like everyone’s closer with other ppl than with me??#i’m think i’m feeling a bit lonely bc i’ve been so busy lately i haven’t spent much time with anyone#and it feels like i just am missing out a lot#and i’m definitely someone who appreciates having alone time but i do actually like socialising and connecting with ppl#talking to ppl is one of my favourite things ever i think there are so many incredible ppl to find out more about and become friends with#nadiya.txt
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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2/2 Do you have trust issues?
yeah dude where the hell did my assets go. think i have to sue the mf who ran away with them
#uhhhhHHHHHH#i don’t actually know how to answer this question#like... on the one hand i don’t THINK i have ‘trust issues�� per se but#on the other these asks are probably the most open i’ve been willing to be as of late and how do i do them.. by putting a joke in the post#and then proceeding to tuck my real answers away in the tags. which on my theme is effectively a collapsible hidebox.#so no one has to see them unless they opt in#good lord#i guess i kind of do? but for me i feel like i struggle to see it that way because it’s not as if i don’t take people by their word#(given i don’t have a reason not to obviously)#and i don’t particularly think my friends are gonna ditch me#i just. i don’t know how to talk to people about myself????#i’ll go on like a madman about my interests every day of the week but when it comes to my thoughts and feelings outside of that#it seems inaccessible#i’ll be like oh i’m pretty genuine around people but the next second i realise do these bitches even know what my favourite colour is#contrary to my reputation outside of the bit i don’t think i ever lie to ppl outright. i just lie by reduction like a lot. like a lot a lot#and ig the logical extension to that is my bitch ass peacing out of existence for a while when things aren’t going so great for me#and promptly reappearing once i manage enough stability to be around folks again without going dead silent whenever im asked how i’ve been#only to be greeted with ‘???? BITCH WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU??? IT’S THE YEAR 2037 WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD’#i hate how much i make people who care about me worry#but i also kinda don’t know how to solve that problem? ? ok google how do you be fine with the mortifying ordeal of being known#when in the first place you’re not sure how talking things out like that works#it’s weird. sometimes i think about how i’ve known my friends for years but i’m only just beginning to realise people want to be around me#and who don’t just interact when they need something from me or to have me answer their questions#not out of any mistrust towards them as individuals but moreso. ‘oh. this is a thing you can do? i didn’t realise that’#just... didn’t know that was an option until it was presented i suppose#wow this is probably the most personal one of these’s gotten how’d that happen
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ugh had to get up bc I'm too awake to fall back asleep and started getting hunger cramps
#FINE ILL EAT CEREAL#also made myself rly sad bc i was thinking abt phone calls and it made me think abt how i DONT miss my ex thats long dead and buried#but I DO miss there being someone who was always happy to hear from me or hear my voice any time of day to say anything at all#and always being happy to hear from them in the same way and just. that simple casual kind of love and how easy it was every time#not even talking just how easy it was to be around them and in the same space even if we werent directly interacting#and i love my friends but its not really the same as that i always feel like the longer i talk the more im keeping them from other things#and theyre pulling away and ik my roommate has said before she doesnt rly get anything out of just. being around ppl without-#direct interaction which is ok like thats just how it works for her but also it means whenever im talking to her theres a little desperate#part of me thats like u have to keep talking bc otherwise shes going to get bored and leave except she'll do that either way bc ill run-#out of anything interesting to say.. but again its not the same anyway tho bc we're just friends theres no obligation or anything#not that it was obligation with my ex gah. but it was just so mutual and EASY i dont knowww#i think its on my mind as well bc my roommate was talking abt friends of hers she can just. Always dip into conversation with#and that made me think of my ex but i didnt wanna say bc that sounds dumb and as though im hung up on them (which im genuinely not)#and ik she feels like that abt one of our mutual friends bc theyre much closer than we are and its cute how much she talks abt him and#how obvious her love for him is and i dont begrudge them that at all but i just miss having that myself with someone#but its been so long and itll probably be a long time yet before i ever have smth like that again. if ever man#and it doesnt even matter anyway bc i guess it wasnt ever actually mutual and my ex denied a lot of it afterwards and ik part of that they#were just saying to hurt me (which worked) but it probably was partly true too. maaaan.#i just miss having a favourite person and i miss being someones favourite person even if that wasnt real in the end and i wasnt#i miss at least THINKING i was someones favourite person like back when doubt rarely occurred to me bc i cared so much abt them#like it would hardly cross my mind they didnt. or if it did it was still ok bc it was easily reassured#ahhhh im going to drive myself crazy girl i need to Stop. it doesnt matter its not within my reach anymore but. wails pitifully#sorry for being so pathetic and needy and starved on main in my defence im sick. im gonna lie down for another half hour#and then i guess get ready for work. at least if im working i wont be thinking abt this shit anymore it doesn't matter#ougrhrhhhhgougrh.#.diaries
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Hey girl, I LOVED YOUR HEADCANONS. Specifically abt Ken x Reader. If you can write about headcanons abt maybe when he's jealous? You covered literally almost everything in your headcanons, so I have nothing to request except this 😭
❥﹒kenji sato x gender neutral reader
✦. synopsis — part 2 of the kenji sato headcanons because i am totally normal <3
✦. love mail — i swear i promise ill post hsr guys 😞 just let me have my moment w sato i beg. i’ve decided to just do this req + add some more hehe. thank you sm requester for enabling my brain rot! (pls more ppl do so)
✦. tags — NO SPOILERS, fluff, dadgirl kenji, non-intimate/sexual kissing, kenji sato x reader, i wrote this w my brain off again ( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ;; pls
Jealousy was not fun for the Kenji Sato. Before Emi came along and changed him, I can see him being the type to get jealous easily. Why would you need to talk to other people anyway? You had him, he was the best. He’d make it real obvious too, suddenly wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, or the following days he has you wear his iconic jacket while you’re out with him so everyone knows exactly who and what you two are. If it gets to the better of him, he’ll get all pouty about it. He wants all your attention, your eyes all over him and him only. Maybe even hands but that’s a different thing. But I think after Emi’s influence, it’s less possessive and he’s grown to trust you with others instead of letting his feelings get in the way. Of course he’s not immune to jealousy, but you notice it a lot less. It’s less suffocating for you and you’re grateful he’s grown. You did love the pouty face he’d make though, it was cute.
Now if you were jealous, which is really no surprise.. Kenji had thousands of admirers, he had gifts on his doorstep like every other day. He’ll do everything to prove and reassure you that you’re the only one who has his heart. He’ll post you on his social media, take you out on dates, all those things to wash your worries away. Lastly, he’ll hold you in his arms at night and whisper everything he loves about you. Everything you were silently insecure about, he loved. Every date you thought he forgot, he remembered. And to meet a guy like that? How lucky can you be? (He tells you he’s luckier of course. <3)
I think he’s a messy kisser for the most part 🧐. (Forgive me in advance for this part. I am not very good at these things.) When he can take his time, he’s slow and gentle. Genuinely just trying to show you that yeah, he loves you, so damn much. And he’s going to show that through his passion by taking things slow so you can really feel his devotion. Other times, because he’s always in a rush, he’ll do a messy but clearly desperate kiss. He doesn’t like leaving without one, and you can describe him kissing you like it’s his last, (because it’s really not a far-fetched guess considering his line of work) his hand behind your head and pressing your lips against his in an almost ravenous manner. He does give you a very quick kiss on the forehead and runs off after finishing, leaving you a little dazed.
He LOVES to take you out on night rides. If ever you get a little nervous/have a fear of motorcycles, he’ll talk you all the way through via the cardo he put into your helmet. He’ll take you to some nice cafes or restaurants around Tokyo, other time’s he’ll bring you to some favourite childhood spot of his. When you arrive, he’ll tell you about his mother and the memories he’s made in this very special spot. It warms your heart to see his expression be so fond when he talks about his childhood – he truly misses it.
Before you knew of Kenji’s identity, I think it would be funny if you hated Ultraman. You just LOATHED the guy, Kenji asked your thoughts on Ultraman on the first date and you went on a rant about how he threw your car at a Kaiju only to miss. (He felt so embarrassed). It would be funnier if afterwards, he began to actually do his job as Ultraman properly.. and avoided cars on your street and avenue. He wanted to make sure you didn’t utterly hate Ultraman before revealing that he was him.
It would be cute if you and him knew each other like, much earlier. And you called him Ken. And then he made that his alias while he was becoming an All-Star baseball player. :) He’ll brag about it all the time in interviews too, that you’re the reason he uses it. <3
He’s the typa guy to have a picture of you in his room, behind his phone case, in his wallet, in his car and literally anywhere he can get his hands on. He bought a polaroid camera just to take pictures of you, he could care less about the price of film or the camera itself.. he just wanted to have as many pictures of you as possible. He’ll brag about it to his baseball teammates too, considering he also keeps one in his pockets for good luck. :)
You're his goodluck charm. <3
#♡ — 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#ken sato#kenji sato#ultraman rising x reader#ultraman rising
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Mimi-san & Kookoo-san
This photo really fulfills my need for aesthetic shots
This episode (and probably the whole trip) is like the biggest, warmest, lingering hug someone could give you. Not letting go for a long time, until after it's over you're left with a full heart, teary eyes and a sense of unprecedented calmness.
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So no Tokyo for us (as expected). That city really is theirs and theirs ONLY. (I read that ppl saw them with a camera in that ramen shop in Tokyo, so now everyone's thinking of a possible GCF #2 but that would be INSANE)
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Jimin stop ruining the romantic moments JK creates, challenge failed! (he really does live up to the "conceal, don't feel" idea)
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This ritual of Jimin singing Kook's new singles on each trip, is very very cute.
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THE BABIEST OF THEM ALL another bean here⬆️
Did they lowkey have a gentle monster sponsorship? Way to go Jikook 👏🏻👏🏻
I know it's always been Jimin's go to brand for glasses so it feels kinda full circle. He should be some kind of brand ambassador for them.
Oh hello mister 'I can eat yo fingers but not yo potato peel' (I get it tho)
This is the single softest Jikook moment ever!! Period. End of discussion.
Sharing earphones, romantic music, beautiful scenery, calm setting, head on shoulder. - Who says romance is dead? 😭
Not even the background animation can ruin this for me. (ingenious idea nonetheless)
I CANNOT deal with the sweetness of this daughter talk. DO THEY KNOW WE'RE INSANE??
My guy starts talking about a family. The other guy he's gripping tight is already discombobulated, gulping, eyes going left and right lol
Jokes aside he really would be the most gentle, bestest, most caring dad ever 😭 (I promised myself to not get emo during this episode, I'm saving the waterworks for the inevitable last ep.)
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I do remember they (especially Jimin) used to be pretty fluent in japanese so I'm guessing since they haven't done Japan promo since 2021, they forgot a little bit..
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Imagine Jimin in a jazz bar with a 10 year old whiskey in hand, flirting with his bf.. Improv kings!
Happiness looks so good on them.
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I love that from time to time they almost forgot they had a show to shoot. A DAMN JOB to do 😂
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I present you a compilation of Jungkook saying how happy he is, how much he loves it and how good it is, during this episode.
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LOL at them doing the english meme thing. Just two simple guys with ONE BRAINCELL. Looks like one of those random af videos they would watch while learning english.
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Oh yes, we do indeed enjoy y'all gradually getting raggedy and fat 😂😂 He's hilarious, he's on a roll ladies and gents.
Jungkook half wishing they were the same age so they could "twin" even more (I'm sure that would be so convenient for you Jk 👀) as if it's possible for them to be even more on the same wavelength than they already are.
I do feel like in the distant future it would be such a good option for them to transfer and live in Japan cause it does seem like their favourite place in the whole world and the one place they feel themselves the most.
Sapporo in their 40es would be like a little hidden paradise for them to be somewhat free..
(let me dream)
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will you ever draw masc sirius? not to compare artists but recently i've just noticed masc sirius pics get more notes and ppl get more pissed off bc of fem sirius. it's ok if you draw fem wolfstar (fem sirius AND fem remus) but it's kinda weird you only draw remus masc. kinda heteronormative. when wolf is gay. plus canonically sirius was masc and remus was fem (sirius was the biker and remus was short.) it's ok you're more into fanon but canon is real so i'm just curious if you will ever draw masc sirius. if you will it'll be very cool and i'm sure you'll get more notes too.
This is the LAST time I'm going to be talking about this because I'm so TIRED of this debate.
Firstly, the "canon" you speak of is written by this person. So think before you start arguing anything about canon.
Then, since apparently some of you still cannot read. I DO NOT DRAW FOR YOU; I DRAW FOR ME. I could not care less about notes or likes or popularity. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy my time. That you are so concerned about notes is your own problem, not mine, but I suggest you change that because notes do not equal any sort of value, and this mindset is just going to be bad for anyone's mental health.
My favourite thing as a person whose gender is literally all over the place is getting to express that through the characters I draw. For ME, this mainly happens through Sirius because his "canon" is this very HETERONORMATIVE man. The freedom of him being able to step away from that and to be allowed to be whatever he wants to be on that day is just wonderful. Sirius, for me, is a reminder that no matter what you're born as or whatever people say you should be, it does not say anything about how you feel or express yourself.
Remus will forever keep evolving for me. He's also allowed to be whoever he wants to be. When I read fics he looks different in every single one. And if you actually paid attention to my art, you can see that he does not always look the same. For me, Remus is a comfort. He will always be a long, wet noodle with bad knees to me. He will always have his scars and his freckles, and those are what make him beautiful. I'm not sure why people immediately assume this is something that makes him "the man" or "the top". If that's what you're thinking when you see them, then there's something gone wrong on your side because you are deciding what a queer relationship is supposed to look like, when in fact you are the one being homophobic and heteronormative.
Also that my Sirius is shorter and more gender-y so to say, does not mean he can't kill a bitch on sight. He could break Remus in half in a second if he wanted to.
Anyway, I'm off to draw some dead gay wizards in whatever way I want to <3 love you guys. Truly the majority of you make me feel safe and seen, and I couldn't have wished for a more supportive community
#IF ANYONE ELSE SENDS ME AN ASK LIKE THIS YOU ARE GETTING BLOCKED ON SIGHT#okay#no more#you are being harmful to the queer community#just think before you speak and not everything is fucking black and white
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Did you play the pristine cut of STP? What do you think of Dragon, Cage and HappilyEverAfter if so?
Spoilers for STP pristine cut under read more (+ a lot of text warning)
Hehe I see STP ppl are excited and want more silly comics
Well there’s a lot of things to say tbh 👀
Overall really enjoyed new content so far
It kinda feels like a fanservice for the people who already played the game
Which is not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong ☝️
I just view the original game as a perfect instalment, which doesn’t really need a continuation
New scenarios is just a pleasant bonus
(I’m one shot/short story fan okay 👉👈)
I already saw Dragon and Happily After routes
Yet to see all the variations the Cage route has to offer (heard ppl said it’s the most diverse one)
The Princess and The Dragon
HEY REMEMBER HOW I SAID I DON’T LIKE THE IDEA OF CHANGING THE GENDERS OF THE CHARACTERS BC THAT WAY THE DYNAMIC WOULD BE UNSETTLING?
YEA SO THIS ROUTE EXPLORED THAT DYNAMIC GUYS
I enjoyed this route, bc again
It’s scary, uncomfortable, makes you feel unsafe and uneasy 👁️👁️
Awesome depiction of how scary this type of situation would be
And of course bonus points, we got to see the bird bois 🎉
(Opportunist go brush yo teeth, u spooky lookin ass)
Happily ever after
Ok
Noooow we’re talking
I love that route, it’s my favourite so far
The pain, the suffering, the absolutely devastated British crowman
Brilliant, chills
This one actually feels like a missing part of the og game to me
I wanted to go into details about my opinions on that route in the future post
But now I want to talk 😈
👏Smitten👏my boy👏how are you in your edgy villain era already omg
Can we just admit for a second how badass Smitten is for escaping protagonist’s body?
Like-💥
This was the first route I saw and was like “Ooooh that’s probably the new gimmick, every voice is doing to escape and shenanigans happen” AND NO Smitten is just that guy™️ absolute chad
Minus points for “we will give her something she doesn’t know she wants yet”
*hits Smitten with newspaper*
Bad voice 💥🗞️bad 💥🗞️ we listen to what 💥🗞️our queen 💥🗞️wants 🗞️💥🗞️💥💥
But it works okay
The atmosphere is immaculate, I was legit concerned for a moment
Ok now give me a moment to be a nerd ☝️🤓
I love how this route gives Smitten flaws
I think finally we saw that every voice has them, because voices are an isolated part of a person, a pure feeling if you will
And Smitten represents that naïve love idealisation/love obsession
The guy loves the princess, she is pure perfection to him
This feeling is blinding and honestly pretty toxic irl
During the whole og game Smitten was never conflicting?
He pretty much the comedic relief of the whole game (and least it felt like that to me)
I think he was kinda a missed potential
Yes, love is sweet
Crushes are can be funny, silly and overall just positive
But it can be so destructive, so painful and so so exhausting when it gets to the point of obsession
And that route gives you a direct illustration of it
Which is amazing
I honestly think we don’t have enough media just showcasing this feeling of obsessive love and how dangerous it is
(yandere trope doesn’t count 👿 this trope just kinda glorified the issue)
And the tragedy is SMITTEN IS TOO DELUSIONAL TO EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT HE’S DOING WRONG
My poor poor birb boy
He’s too focused on doing everything perfectly, to make princess satisfied, to make us satisfied, why isn’t it working? He does everything he can, why doesn’t it work? How doesn’t it work?
HE’S TOO LOVESTRUCK TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND REFLECT
AAAAAAAAA
God I’m insane about Happily ever after
As a person who struggles with this exact feeling of idolising and obsessing over ppl, I just really feel that route
Goth Smitten incoming *coughs*
Thanks for your question ❤️ hope you enjoyed reading my mess of thoughts💥
Share your thoughts in comments/reblogs if you want ppl
#bear answers#stp#slay the princess spoilers#slay the princess#slay the princess pristine cut#stp pristine cut#stp pristine cut spoilers#stp spoilers#happily ever after#the princess and the dragon#stp damsel#stp spectre#fanart incoming#soon ☝️#idk how soon but ideas are there#please don’t pressure me bc I will turn into a play dough#or a puddle#yea puddle is more accurate probably#play dough puddle#💥🐻❄️
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I have a problem Cas… I think im in love.
Okay so, there’s this girl. We’ve been best friends like 5 years. I mean i’ve always- okay I don’t know how to explain this.
I’m basically a fan-fiction come to fucking life.
So i’m Demisexual, and last year I decided to come out to my family. I don’t know if other Demi ppl have preferences of gender, but I don’t. Honestly labels confuse me. I’m not sure if technically i’m Biromantic and Demisexual but hey, the point is- and what I explained to my family- that i’d be open to dating anyone.
Basically i was telling them I wasn’t straight. (Obviously Demisexual is also about sexual activities and people and stuff but I wasn’t gonna try and explain to my parents that I don’t really get attracted to random ppl- cause they don’t get it- and I didn’t want to accidentally start talking abt sex).
So anyway, they were not happy. Have you watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine? There’s this clip where the character Rosa comes out as Bi and her parents are like “That’s okay, since you can still date a man and marry a man and be normal” and they were like that for me (i’m a girl in case that wasn’t obvious- so they wanted me to date a man).
And I didn’t really care to be honest. I had an equal level of straight friends to queer friends, I felt suitably in both worlds. I truly love my family. They’ve always been good to me. But they did imply if I did end up with a girl, they wouldn’t want to meet/know her.
Not to mention the religious trauma. I spent a shit ton of time listening to ppl tell me that same-sex marriage and relationships are a “sin”. Hell- there was this one rlly lovely women at church when I was like 9, but she got kicked out when they congregation found out she was a lesbian. (Okay- not kicked out but like bullied into leaving).
So it was fine for me to accept that I could potentially date a women since i’ve never felt immediate attraction to anyone, it never felt totally real.
BUT NOW I HAVE A PROBLEM. So my best friend (who is also a girl) of 5 years. She’s amazing. She’s literally the funniest person i’ve ever met, she’s so generous and has helped me so much, and she’s just adorable. She’s like fucking sunshine. And ngl, I don’t often like people who are so cheery all the time because it feels fake and I like people around me to be honest.
But she just, she has this way of finding the beauty in the stupidest things and it’s so cute. We got splashed by a car the other day, drenched both our outfits, and instead of being mad, she got all excited and had us do a photoshoot in our crazy soaked clothes, and then got all excited that we could cuddle under a duvet and watch a movie with snacks once we got home cause apparently that’s the only acceptable thing people can do after being covered in water (which is exactly what we did).
And she’s not unreasonably happy, you know? Like when people try to cheer people up at bad times and make everyone more sad, she’s not like that. Whenever i’m upset, or mad, she’ll doodle these cute little flowers on coloured paper and write things she loves about the world on the back of them, and once i’m done ranting abt how annoying the world is, she’ll give it to me and smile. She has the best smile.
I have this jar, I write the date on them and put the paper in the jar.
We’ve been best friends five years, she started doing that like four years ago and i’ve had the jar pretty much from the start.
It’s always been easy to be around her. We sort of knew each other for like a year, and then I blinked, and we were best friends. I read all the books she gives me even though the plot is super cheesy cause she loves talking about them, I learnt how to bake all her favourite snacks her mum made, cause she’s pretty far from home and honestly a tragic baker. And she cooks dinner (don’t ask how she can’t bake to save her life but is the most incredible cook, it’s unbelievably ridiculous) for us a lot, she learnt to make my fav food.
We technically live together, we’re at the final year of uni (maybe not tho depending on our next courses, I dunno) so we’ve been living together this year, but before that, I basically spent most of my time around her place anyway.
So yeah, we’re friends. But I realised a few months ago that i’m pretty, definitely, in love with her. I think i’ve felt like this for about a year and it just hadn’t quite clicked yet.
(I had this awful day and came back to our place to see her genuinely painting our wall a different colour of white. She paints as a hobby and accidentally splatter a ton of blue paint on the wall and freaked out and tried buying white paint to cover it when it wouldn’t wash of and she was sat on the floor with white paint all over her and the wall still blue.
She told me the story and I burst out laughing. I explained you often need white primer first, to cover the blue, and then to buy the correct shade of white, since ours was sort of chill white and she’d bought bright white.
It’s the type of thing that would’ve annoyed me so much at the end of such a tough day, but because it was her, I just found it adorable. That’s when it clicked, I love her. She noticed I was tired immediately and felt bad cause she realised i’d had a bad day. I said this cheered me up, cause it did. Then we made dinner together and spent the night reading on the sofa with music on.
We went to the shop the next day to get the correct stuff and luckily our wall is back to looking almost exactly the same).
So yeah, I love her. Plus like, being demi, I don’t usually find ppl attractive… I mean i’ve always known she’s aesthetically pleasing, she has good fashion sense and stuff, but like, I tend to view all people as the same sort of level of attractive. BUT NOW ITS LIKE- SHES FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. It’s kind of annoyingly actually. How is everyone not spending all day gazing at her eyes. They’re fucking caramel, like a book character. She says they’re brown but she’s wrong. In dull lighting they seem brown but they’re like dark orange (amber i guess) with little hues of green, but in the sun they’re really bright and caramel and warm.
She’s a lesbian btw. So theoretically I’ve got a shot. Also, i’ve always been good at reading people and I know she’s had like a small crush on me at least twice in our friendship. You can tell sometimes.
But recently, it’s been a wreck. I’m so distracted cause i’m in love with her I can’t think, and my friends keep telling me she loves me back but I can’t keep my head on straight long enough to try and tell.
But. If I do get my head out of my ass and tell her and she does end up wanting to date me, what the fuck am I supposed to do then. Cause if it does work out, i’m pretty sure it’ll last.
My parents never totally liked her (they probably saw this coming- but I think in the homophobic, all queer ppl date each other, way and not the, they’re meant to be together, way) and if ended up having to tell them i’m actually dating a women, they’d be pissed.
I always thought i’d end up with man, since it’s easier. No religious guilt about that. But I can put aside my own brains stupidity for her. But I can’t change my parents. But aside from this, they’re literally amazing. But I also know them and I truly don’t think they’ll change.
All my friends having been saying me and her should’ve been dating this entire time. I don’t know, I like to think now would be kinda perfect. I always knew she was gonna be in my life forever, I guess I just got so used to imagining myself with a man I forgot she was an option? That I could be with her romantically forever. You know, assuming she wants to date me.
(We’ll see about that. I’m really not sure. But i’m totally shit at keeping my own secrets so i’m planning to tell her soon if not just for the sake of my own sanity. All my friends say she’ll reciprocate, if she doesn’t, then I guess i’ll go from there, she’s not the type to be weird or bothered that we live together despite it. And if she does… then I have to decide what to do next. My other best friend is literally always right when it comes to our friends dating lives, and she has faith we’ll end up together, so we’ll see I guess)
But if she does. If she does I’ll have to get into it with my family. I don’t want to lie to them. And I know I shouldn’t judge, but I honestly don’t think they’ll change their minds. I think they’ll say I can come visit whenever, but not bringing my partner. And I won’t want that. And we’ll all argue.
I never liked knowing my parents didn’t accept this side of me, but I guess I never considered it would be an actual problem i’d have to deal with someday.
I spend a lot of my time trying to figure myself out. I haven’t had the easiest path in life. But with her, it’s so easy. It’s easier to understand what I like, it’s easier to talk about things, and I fully trust her not to be weird. Or leave. Or get mad for nothing. I don’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I trust her. We don’t argue much. We have, what she calls, three different type of arguments.
One, “bad mood argues”. She finds it so hilarious that it rhymes. You have to say it with the syllables. Bad-Mood Ar-Gues. We have these cookies in the freezer that we make every month. If one of us is having a bad day, we cook a few cookies to eat and I bought this dumb fridge magnet of a cookie to put on the fridge to signify it’s a cookie worthy bad day.
Another one is “justifiable anger”. That doesn’t happen much. When we first met, she had this tendency to not tell me when I did something that upset her, and it’d spiral, and i’d be mad she wasn’t talking about why she was mad. So we have a rule to always talk about problems, even the little things. For example, her yelling into the phone to her family for hours while i’m trying to study- she has planned days now, so I can go to the library or she can go out if necessary, or keep the convo below 45 min, her mums like half deaf so she does have to shout, but it’s also VERY loud. Basically we comprise. And make sure no anger builds up.
The third type of argument is, what our friends call, “married idiots”. As in, she shouldn’t use the siri talk thingy while driving cause it never understands what she’s trying to say and so I get jumbled texts that mean nothing and then she thinks she’s told me something she hasn’t told me. She’s nearly understanding that one 🤦♀️ And you know, the classic colour of something argument (it’s purple- she’s wrong).
Anyway. I forgot my point. Oh yeah, everything’s easier with her. I feel comfortable. If i’m being totally honest… i’m pretty sure if I ask her out, she’ll say yes. Like 80% sure. Im just scared to fuck this up, and cause family problems. Cause yeah, she’s worth the drama, but also, it’s her that’ll be being insulted right? She very likely won’t be allowed in my house. I don’t want this to ruin what we already have.
So yeah. That. I could really do with some advice ❤️
Hi <3
If you do not ask this girl out, I will physically pass away.
Like...I'm not usually so pushy with asks, but you're describing a relationship, hon. This is a relationship. I'm not sure if you follow me because of the Marauders, but you two are literally Wolfstar, And I'm shipping the two of you so hard right now.
If, for some insane reason, she turns you down, it's because she doesn't realize she's in love with you, too.
As far as your family...again, I'm going to be more blunt that usual. You're going to have to face their lack of acceptance for you at some point. It's absolutely shit that they don't accept you, but like...don't let that stop you from being with this girl. Because even if you put off their feelings now, you'll have to deal with it someday, and then you might miss out on an amazing girl.
Please update me. I need updates. I am so invested. I am DYING for updates.
God, I'm rereading all the things you wrote and I'm kicking and giggling. You two are ridiculously adorable. Please kiss her already (with consent).
I'm naming you purple anon. Please write back.
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fic rec friday 5
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
You and I were Fireworks by percyspandapillowpet
“Eleven fifty-eight,” he said, and when he tilted his head back up, his eyes were sparkling. “There’s still enough time to go see the fireworks,” Nico realized aloud. “Do you want to…” Will shook his head, expression unchanging. “Nah. Fireworks are overrated. I’d rather stay here with you.”
look one thing this author can nail is SWEET. also will with his seltzer made me smile idk why but it did. im just a huge fan of slice of life stories and this is such a cute one!!
2. Love Wins by percysandapillowpet
“I’ll be right there!” he shouted, and the knocking stopped. On a count of three, he managed to push the duvet off his arms and legs and let his feet fall to the floor. He glanced down at what he was wearing—a black t-shirt and flannel pants, that would have to do—and walked over to the door. “What do you want, Solace?” he asked, pulling it open. Will was all smiles and sunshine. “Did you hear?” Nico narrowed his eyes. “Hear what? If this is some big event, then no, because I’ve been asleep like a normal person.” Will might as well have been jumping up and down, he looked so excited. “Nico, they did it! The Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage for the entire country! This morning!”
i read this fic in 2017 actually. and i REMEMBER how huge 2015 was; i'm canadian but it was massive. i was 12/13ish so i was in percy jackson back then too, and i remember reading DOZENS of fics that came out right after. this was so huge and this fic captures that :)
3. I Think You're My Best Friend by percyspandapillowpet
“You know what always makes cleaning more fun?” Will asked, sweeping a pile of dust and dirt into the center of the room. “What?” Nico replied, trying to hold back a smile. He found himself doing that a lot these days, too. Will set his broom down against one of the cots that lined the wall. “Music!”
this one made me melt bc personally....if someone called me their favourite i would never ever recover. never ever. and i love short & sweet fics about specific interactions/moments!! and this author nails that!!
4. Darkness by percyspandapillowpet
“So,” Will says, slightly awkwardly, making Nico realize that he forgot to respond to whatever he last said. “Um, you wanted something to take your mind off things?” He pulls back from the hug just enough to see his face, holding him at arms length. “I’ve, uh, got an idea.” He’s not used to Will looking so unsure of himself. He’s always acting so overly cocky. Kiss me, Nico thinks. “What?” he asks. Will smiles, then, his confidence restored. “Let’s go for a hike.”
sweet kisses in nature....the big three boys truly know how it's done bc the way i would SWOON and crumble. also i love it when nico is so so bad at like talking to people lol. hes so real.
5. Past, Present, Future by percyspandapillowpet
“We’ll help her, okay?” Will continues. “We’ll do the best that we can. You and I both know what this feels like. We need to give her support and take care of her for a while.” He nods again, glancing at her sleeping form in the cot. She looks a little less pained, and a little more peaceful. Nico is already dreading how she might react when she wakes again. “We’ll take care of her,” he repeats.
first of all proposal fics get me literally every time. second of all i do love fics where ppl explore what theyre future might look like!!! what they might be when theyre older!! theyre so careful with each other u know.
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
#sorry its all fromt he same author 💀💀#i read fics by author always and im doing my bookmarks in order#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#hoo#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo toa#nico di angelo#will solace#nico di angelo/will solace#nico/will#will/nico#fic rec#FRF#fic rec friday#longpost
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I've lost count but here's another "Sht my friends say as pjo characters" pt like 7???: Also side note sorry if I'm repeating these idr the last one i did lol:
Jason: I opened my glasses case and started panicking because I couldn't find my glasses... I'm literally wearing them
Leo: if I ever have a son ill take every chance to laugh at him
Reyna: Thalia the love magnet. She got b*tches (romantic) when all she wanted was b*tches (platonic) (Gojolover69, see last quotes post by @wraith--2)
Leo: so you're a ho*n't (same person above)
Piper: Stole scientific equipment and everything and we found out the smallest thing in the galaxy is the size of our patience because we gave up the search and stole a gazillion dollar dildo ( @wraith--2 )
Leo:....calculator
Reyna: You're a calculator
Leo: are you calling me smart?
Reyna: no I'm calling you a tool
(I'm Leo and @thatonelazyghost is Reyna here)
Piper: Coach keeps going on about ppl who aren't in and he's like and then there's Annabeth who's broken her ankle ( @wraith--2 )
Will: I'm gay, I have the spidey sense for rainbow things ( @indecisivenb)
Nico: it's not gay if it's from behind
Nico: I'm ready to leave now
Nico: like I'm done
Nico: too peopley
Nico: nvm coach gave me a maulteaser
(Me on my last day of college)
Annabeth: You absolute bean of a human
Piper: Hi its me, Percy, a twink! ( @thatonelazyghost)
Leo: I put Frank down because he's lactose intolerant (me)
Leo: dismember my body and stick me in a lightning McQueen coffin ( @wraith--2 )
Nico: what's your sexuality
Ghost swings it back and forth*
Nico writing down bi: Ah you swing both ways ( @wraith--2 )
Reyna about Leo: DAM bros balls didn't drop
Leo: ...and the tip was empty
Mr D about Connor and Travis: ITS THE F*CKING TWINS!!! WANNA KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT?! THAT GUY HAD THE F*CKING ZOOMIES HE HAD PLACES TO GO AND PEOPLE TO SEE
Nico: is anyone gonna pay attention to the fact Leo's dead?
Leo: THANK YOU!
Nico: You're dead shut up
(Nico is @thatonelazyghost and I'm Leo here)
Luke: I'm no p*ssy ill skin my victims infront of the lifeguard ( @wraith--2 )
Leo: like do you moan daddy, mammy or parental???
Playing stardew valley*
Nico: I love Willy
Everyone dies*
Percy: I love cream in my mouth! (Ider the context for this I just know the sake friend said the quote above this one too so it may be smth to do with that idr)
Leo: I don't need a psychiatrist I- ( @duckbakery)
Piper: you need God (Gojolover69)
Playing DnD*
Leo: I also successfully charmed a woman at the bar, then Nico ( @duckbakery ) goes
"The woman leads you away"
Everyone else: "ohh wait hold on ooo whats going on, dayum"
Nico: "you come back 2 minutes later"
Everyone dying laughing
Nico: "you went into a private room but couldn't stop talking about pirate ships so she gave up"
Alex Fiero (I think that's their name? I haven't read Magnus yet): Oh so YOU'RE the gender goblin ( @thatonelazyghost )
Mr D: I'm literally the god of gender identity, furries and monsters
Piper: I want someone to yippee on my body ( @thatonelazyghost )
Leo: Leo you should know better its because of your feminism you f*cking freak
Annabeth: Freaky feminists have got to be my favourite breed of gender (she was totally talking about Thalia here) ( @wraith--2 )
Calypso: Leo always finishes early
Leo: ye I do- WAIT WHAT?! ? ( @duckbakery )
Playing stardew*
Piper: LEOS A WOMAN
Piper: OMG HIS NAMES EMO-LY
(Me about another friend)
(Pic of character at end of post)
Nico: do you have any food?
Hades: Nope ( @duckbakery )
Nico: guess I'll die then
Thalia: I have a dead cat in my shed
Hazel: OMG PICS
Thalia: Read that again
Hazel: OH OH NO OH NO OH NOOOOOOOO I DIDNT SEE THE WORD DEAD
(I was Hazel here)
Rachel: I do other stuff than being ginger ( @duckbakery )
Percy: If you don't sleep rn im gonna call you tickle tipsin
Annabeth: ... what ( @duckbakery )
Nico: call me what now (me)
Percy: it's from the "it's been a year daddy" video you freaky f*cks
Nico: it's a beautiful day outside... f*ck- (GojoLover69)
Playing stardew valley*
Piper: annabeth ya know he likes pickles right?
Me: ya
Hazel: who like pickles?
Piper: Harvey
Hazel: divorse him!
Piper: ye he clearly likes men
(I'm annabeth and @duckbakery is piper here)
(The text was sent too early)
Percy: sorry I'm late I got blown
Percy: into smithereens
( @duckbakery )
Percy: This is more zesty than Piper and that's saying something ( @wraith--2 )
Leo to Jason: F*cking senile b*tch
Jason: I'm older and wiser except I'm not smart ( @duckbakery)
Piper: forget the fact I split a gay man in half in the gc ( @wraith--2 )
Coach Hedge to frank: why did you feel the need to @everyone about percy and annabeth getting 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ( @thatonelazyghost )
Annabeth: oooh eloquent 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 ( @wraith--2 )
Reyna: Perchance you can suck my d*ck ( @wraith--2 )
Leo: Perchance you can commit tax fraud with me (Gojolover69)
Piper: Perchance we can stab ppl together ( @wraith--2 )
Percy: Perchance. Get on the f*cking boat and let's hunt 😈 (Gojolover69)
Rachel: perchance 7 half bloods shall answer the call to storm or fire the world perchance must fall with an oath to keep with a final breath perchance as foes bear arms to the doors of death perchnace (me)
Nico to will: Perchance you and me should fall into tartarus ( @wraith--2 )
Thalia: perchance we should all hug and kiss in a platonic way ( @thatonelazyghost )
Reyna: Perchance that is an excellent suggestion (Gojolover69)
Reyna: Perchance I shall kiss Thalia completely platonically ( @wraith--2 )
Percy: perchance that platonically is bs (me)
Reyna: Lies I'm off at sea and don't see Thalia every morning ( @wraith--2 )
Percy: i know for sure you've found a way regardless ( @thatonelazyghost )
Reyna: I feel like this is bullying ( @wraith--2 )
Leo: guys we need to do among us in real life ( @duckbakery )
Annabeth: That's already a game Leo, it's called mafia ( @thatonelazyghost )
Percy: I see you've grown a brain can you share (friend from work)
Thalia: the need to refer to eachother as "love", "dear" and "pookie" is strong but the aro is stronger ( @thatonelazyghost )
Piper: this whole group is secretly but not very secretly a big polyamorous relationship ( @thatonelazyghost )
Reyna: So glad the sex aversion in me is strong cause imagine the stds going round this place my God ( @wraith--2 )
Annabeth: i'm iconic i'm quotable and i'm autistic ( @thatonelazyghost )
Leo: Are you a heinz baked beans, extra rich tomato sauce-sexual? (Gojolover69)
Percy: So my mam booked me and my sister a swimming lane for tmr morning, and I'm like oh dear God mother, u do know I'm currently blasting liquid magma from my a*s, which travels at super sonic speeds, do you reckon this is safe for public health? (Gojolover69)
#omg theres so many quotes fcking hell#percy jackson#sht my freinds say#my friends as#pjo incorrect quotes#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#annabeth chase#nico di angelo#rick riordan#riordanverse#will solace#leo valdez
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what are your favourite toh dynamics?
AGHGHGHHHHH OKAY, SO- this is mostly gonna be me talking abt hunter dynamics cuz kxjsjks i'm predictable, that's where my brainrot lies, but boy. i love toh dynamics so much
my probably Favorite favorite dynamics are hunter & flapjack and hunter & luz.
like, flapjack being hunter's first ever friend, the first instance of someone caring abt him genuinely and unconditionally, the first step to him breaking free from belos... the fact that he brought so much love and joy into hunter's life.
hunter had always had so much love in his heart, he loved his "uncle", but he'd never known what being loved was supposed to feel like; he thought love was conditional, and angry outbursts were just a normal part of it. but then flapjack came into his life and showed hunter what it felt like to love and BE LOVED BACK. he helped him open up, helped him find ppl who'd care abt him, helped him realize that whatever belos felt towards him…. wasn't love, that being loved wasn't supposed to feel like how he felt near belos; but that being loved was supposed to feel GOOD and WARM. (hunter being near tears because flapjack offered him a half of his berry instead of getting angry and lashing out at him like he'd predicted he would, since that's what he was always used to..... not comprehending this amount of kindness was even a possibility UGHHHGH)
they genuinely cared abt/for each other so much. flapjack was with hunter every step of the way, he supported him ALWAYS and he helped him and was such a big comfort in the scariest and most uncertain moments of hunter's life; like, this little magical bird loved his boy like no one else in the entire world. he was always by hunter's side and always indulging that boy's dumb ideas kxjsjk ughhh... the way flapjack didn't even hesitate to sacrifice his own life so that his boy could live, and even though he's gone, a part of his soul will always live inside of hunter. and hunter also cared abt flapjack so much, that was his BEST FRIEND. the apple of his eye!!!! the way belos almost crushing flapjack was the only thing that managed to give hunter enough strength and motivation to break through belos' possession and take back control of his own body. the way hunter always made sure that flapjack had the best care he could possibly have offered him, he loved him and still DOES... and always will. just!!!! gah. hunter and flapjack...
now, hunter and luz's dynamic is also just...... SOOOO SO interesting and full of SO many little nuances. how much it progresses, how much they go through together, how much they change. the fact that they started off on the wrong foot, on "opposite sites", but even then luz didn't consider hunter an enemy- they bickered a lot and luz didn't hold back from calling hunter out but ever since hunting palismen she saw him as hunter, not just the golden guard; and then as time progressed, they slowly grew to care abt each other and became some of the most important ppl in each other's lives.
thinking abt hollow mind, how traumatic of an event it was and how that mutual shared trauma that only they can understand affected and strengthened their bond. how luz gradually went from being angry/irritated at hunter for defending belos to being more protective of him and worried for his safety when she saw what his and belos' relationship REALLY looked like, that this situation wasn't safe for hunter, that he needed help, that he needed to be away from belos asap. her offering him to stay at the owl house, assuring him that everything was going to be okay as he was being pulled underground..... GOD. hunter immediately switching from calling luz "human" to her name after finding out the truth.
thinking abt their secret-keeping deal and how it rly wasn't healthy for them at ALL because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "haha yeah they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets!" during their stay in the human realm. how they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; like a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have only grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months and, ah!!!! them becoming so comfortable in each other's presence to the point where they allowed themselves to be vulnerable and voice their fears and worries around each other. luz calling hunter family and hunter truly letting his emotions out and letting himself cry next to another person for the first time in, like… EVER…….. HHHGHGHGHHH !!!!!
there's just so many factors to their dynamic, i love it so much....
but just in general, i love all the different relationships hunter has with everyone so much. emerald trio and all the distinctive dynamics within it... GAHHHHH hunter and gus, hunter and willow, willow and gus; they're all so unique and independently interesting and built upon, which makes the whole trio just WORK, so naturally. they're best friends, they're the trio ever, they care abt each other... ugh. LOVE THEM. you don't understand how much emerald trio brainrot i've got, they torment me on a daily basis.
hunter and gus... labyrinth brothers... they've got such fun, supportive friendship. both treated as "prodigies" of sort, both knowing what it's like to feel naive or used. both just wanting the best for one another. nerds (affectionate), i love them sm...
huntlow, how well they fit together and how supportive they are of one another... they just work so well because they're truly equals, their relationship is full of understanding and respect, but also comfort, and silliness. they're silly! and fun! and they get each other, and comfort/protect each other when the other truly needs it, just- ughhgh the bi4pan couple ever...... they're so good.
gus and willow, how they were each other's first ever friend (willow was gus' first genuine friend and gus was willow's first friend ever since amity suddenly broke it off with her)... how they've been inseparable since they met and know each other so well.
emerald trio, man
i love the potential of hunter and amity's dynamic as well; he may not be as close with her as he is with other members of hexsquad but there's stuff that they just get abt each other's home/family situations. them having this... playful/bickery dynamic at times but still being able to have serious, comforting conversations abt things they both relate to when they need to >>>> (also no, they wouldn't genuinely hate each other, and amity wouldn't ever threaten hunter or hold a grudge cuz of what happened at eclipse lake, like some ppl seem to think; that's not what their canon interactions or personalities suggest to us at all)
hunter and vee's dynamic also had SOOOO much potential, i will forever mourn that we didn't get to see it on-screen cuz of the shortening. ugh... the complex nature of hunter having been the golden guard and vee also having had a very traumatizing past related to the emperor's coven. her being distrustful of hunter at first, being uneasy in his presence; hunter also feeling guilty solely cuz of his past involvement in the emperor's coven and staying away from vee himself, in order not to make her more uncomfortable. then, slowly, gradually, them becoming friends... hunter assuring vee he isn't going to hurt her; vee noticing that some of hunter's behaviors are worrying (like maybe him flinching when camila raises her hand a little too fast near him, or him saying sth deeply disturbing that he considers normal, etc etc); them talking... vee finding out what hunter's life at the emperor's coven was actually like, what his relationship with belos was like. them realizing they actually have a lot in common, that they were both mistreated by belos, both his victims. getting to know each other and being supportive of each other's experiences. i could even imagine that hunter could tell vee that he's a grimwalker at some point, before ttt, making her the second person to know. if she expressed sth abt being one of the few last remaining basilisks or belos' experiment, or a species brought back from the dead, hunter would want to show that he sympathizes by relating to her, cuz that's how he shows he cares and understands. and the thing that relates him to this the most is his grimwalker identity. and so they could talk abt it too, maybe... (and the stakes here wouldn't be as high as sharing his secret to willow and gus was to hunter, since he was truly afraid of being rejected there; he thought he'd lose his best friends forever if they knew the truth abt him)
hunter and darius' dynamic..... gah. there's so much complexity and nuance here, so much potential to explore their past as well as future. with darius taking hunter in, there's definitely a LOT they must've worked on during those first few months. there's this specific trauma that has come from their stay in the coven, the specific ways in which this hostile environment had affected their behaviours and the way they both acted... that's definitely not sth that was just automatically dealt with, they had to work through that.
we know darius cared abt and respected his mentor a lot, so much to the point where he thought hunter wasn't worthy to be the next golden guard and was taking that feeling out on him, thinking he didn't deserve to inherit such important title after the previous GG's death; didn't rly respect or care abt hunter until any sport in a storm. i feel like darius definitely had a lot of guilt abt the way he treated hunter in the past, so moving forward he really tried his best, especially since hunter's had this deep need to impress him and make him proud and all. he wanted that kid to have a good life and to stay safe. we know their relationship has progressed throughout the rest of season 2, with the implication of them growing closer and spending more time together, but even as of watching & dreaming, it all definitely wasn't just sunshine and rainbows + darius rly didn't have much experience in being a parent. but he tried his best, darius (and eberwolf) definitely did everything in their power so that hunter could have the best possible environment to live in, and eventually they've worked through this complicated past and post-coven habits, and made their living space a comfortable home... made sure to always be supportive to hunter, to accomodate his needs, made sure he isn't overworking himself or trying to "earn" the right to live with them; made sure that he's flourishing and taking care of himself and being a kid. made sure he feels loved and safe and sleeps well and hgghh yeah....... also, thinking abt darius and hunter sharing that experience of grief, abt darius teaching hunter how to sew, abt how darius sent hunter on that mission to "keep luz safe" to keep him away from the danger of the day of unity... man!!!! (i do wish we'd seen their relationship progress and develop on-screen more though, rather than in the background/through subtext... but h)
hunter and camila's relationship is also... SO precious to me. the fact that during their first meeting, she made sure to let him know he doesn't have to be overly respectful to her, that they're on an equal ground; he kneeled and she told him to never do that again. hunter's stay at camila's was the first time he was under long-term care of an adult who truly cared abt his well-being. lots of it was probably so confusing to him, cuz of how different it was from his relationship dynamic with belos, and it was definitely trial-and-error in many instances, and it was a while until these more healthy habits started to feel more natural to hunter, but it also made him feel loved. apprecciated. safe. i just know camila was always just... so patient with hunter. never raised a hand at him, made sure he'd never fear her, didn't let him overwork himself... she taught him how to use a sewing machine, told him all abt wolves. she definitely picked up on some of hunter's behaviours and deduced what it meant regarding his family past, and tried her best to make him feel comfortable. just!!!!! the fact that this was the first time where hunter truly felt cared for, where he lived in safe conditions..... GAHghghhhh (thinks abt the scrapped ttt credits idea featuring hunter helping camila out at her vet clinic. so normal abt it... i love winning... brainrot lvl 2000. man...)
there are so many more hunter dynamics that exist in my head...... hunter and raine, them being able to bond abt their (very traumatic) possession experience and their post-possession scars; raine being one of the very few ppl who seemed to have been nice to hunter in the coven, rather than cruel or dismissive of him. the fact that hunter (and dell) canonically helped fix raine's palisman after their battle with belos. GAHHHGHH...
hunter and the clawthornes; the fact that he works with dell, gwendolyn and the bat queen, that he canonically has been mentored by them!!! the fact that he and the clawthornes are in a way related but haven't discovered it yet, but are going to discover it eventually (love to imagine eda and lilith's reactions cuz this is like, comedy material). he works with them, he spends there so much time... i just know they've grown to be fond of that boy, he's like their unofficial grandson.
hunter and king, and their identity-related arcs. finding out you've been lied to your whole life and that you're the last representant of an extinct/legendary species, after thinking you were sth else all these years.... man! also the fact that king wrote one of hunter's favorite books xksjjsk AND hunter's whole...... religious trauma thing with "titan has big plans for you" versus king being an actual titan. AND the fact that king saw the uncountable piles of bones and skeletons of hunter's "family", the other golden guards, grimwalkers. do you see the vision-
even hunter and the collector! the fact that since the collector didn't understand death, they thought belos murdering all the grimwalkers and then making new ones was him just playing and then "fixing" the grimwalker, rather than actually KILLING a whole bunch of people. the collector realizing this... hunter having mixed feelings knowing how they didn't see grimwalkers (him included) as people and feeling bitter remembering how they spoke abt him with belos in the memory he'd seen in hollow mind, but also knowing they were belos' victim too, and it wasn't entirely their fault; that they know better now. sympathizing with that... the fact that both hunter and the collector have a traumatic, abusive past with belos; they were both manipulated and mistreated by him, used for his own selfish goals. it all coming together to just two kids with a complicated past who've gone through terrible things, trying to heal… hhgh
and soooo many more! i love lumity, i love raeda, i love the collector and king's friendship, the owl trio, luz and camila's dynamic, i hate-love belos and hunter's relationship cuz i love how it's written but Uggh. GOD. PAIN.... but it's written so very well. philip and caleb's dynamic is too, it's so interesting. and more! there are just so, so many good, interesting dynamics in toh, i could brainrot abt them forever...... man.
#meant to write this short and concisely but kxjsjskskk um#i rly had to stop myself from talking abt all of these more LMAO but i love them all sm..... thoughts many. head full#hunter toh#my toh talk#nicole answers#Anonymous
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Whats your favourite design quirk for each of cbench? I always love hearing how these things came to be !!
allow me to pull up some of my art for you and i will ramble- oh my god it has been literally so long since ive done colored artwork i am so sorry everyone wow the depression is visible i see. ANYWAYS.
so its funny trying to talk about designs when so much of how i draw them is just "this is ctommy but in a different outfit" so ill go into stuff that is always visible on them
i think my favorite consistency is ctubbos mismatched horns, its something that i think signifies it as My Tubbo Design. i saw a picture of a highland cow back in 2021 and i thought it fit him perfectly and ive never gone back ever since then. i started drawing tubbo as more butchy recently mainly because of boss and his source stuff to be perfectly honest, he has a lot going on in there. but its fun to take a character who is very often like... twink-ified? and make him into a stone dyke butch. well, idk if hes twink-ified these days, but back in 2021-2022 he sure was. i think giving tubbo a wider build- something these two images dont rlly do but whatever we'll work with it- is really great as a visual signifier for being guarded. hes a square hes got his massive snowchester coat on with its big furry coat and his hair covers his eyes and hes got a laurel wreath to signify coming home from war/being victorious in battle/etc. and he wasnt always a moobloom much like my little fic talked about, he used to be a human but the firework explosion fucked him up so bad the server had to stitch him back together with code from mobs. so the server grows a laurel on him and the server hardens him and tries to make him more resilient for the next fight.
i got insane abt tubbo let me move on to ranboo. i have so much fun drawing ranboo i really enjoy playing around with hair length and horn shape and leg anatomy etc. i used to be a fan of the straight split down the middle of their halves but i just love the mottled look so much i have to do that, mainly because i think it makes an artwork look a bit more polished for my own standards for myself. a lot of my ranboo design is an exercise in balance. his halves are black on the left white on the right, so his hair is flipped to make it more interesting, i give them the classic metfell hair flip because a)ranboolives hair moves like that already, and b)it lets me play around with giving them a little crown on the opposite sides horn. also i give them a bolo tie because i dont think cranboo can actually tie a regular tie if im being so forreal. and they have puffy sleeves because i think it adds to the fact that theyre not really a fighter like the others. though cranboo can hold their own and are a literal blacksmith constantly mining and smelting ores and making people armor sets, theyre not KNOWN for fighting, and so giving them an outfit that is not suited for fighting can reflect that.
when it comes to tommy i am always changing up how i draw him. im really attached to the long braid though, and im a classic butterfly clip ctommy enjoyer i think its fun and ppl who hated it were annoying as fuck. i think my favorite thing about drawing ctommy is that i give him gauges- very small ones but gauges nonetheless because cwilbur got them and he wanted to match early on. he never actually went through the process of stretching but he does have them in. and when i draw older ctommy i like to draw him like hes early on estrogen i think its really fun. same with tubbo i like to draw him like hes early on T. theyre transing together :]
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i want to know everything omg! what are your favorite characters on gossip girl? who do you hate the most? and what your opinion about this show in general. 💓
I really need to do a rewatch, I probably forgot a lot of plot points, but... Blair was always my favourite, my number one girl. I didn't like Serena, I think I just didn't like Blake Lively, and I hate to be that person that's like oh she always had bad vibes, I knew it from the start, but idk I just never got the hype around her and her acting was so bad. I think I end up disliking a lot of characters on any tv show just bc I hate the actor's acting choices, like why are you doing that face? that was so unneccessary lmao. I think I also maybe projected onto Blair a bit, like someone who is always trying their best, putting in 110% and someone else just swooping in and winning with zero effort, but... let's not unpack that here. Them together are obviously one of the best frenemies put on screen and I suppose both the tension and love that can exist in female friendships was portrayed really well imo so I don't really want to point fingers at either of them as like the root cause of the friendship problems, like one of them being the shitty friend and other the martyr. Like sometimes you are a shitty friend and sometimes your friend is the cunt, that's not the end of the world. I can see the same thing happening now that there's been a sort of SATC renaissance if i can call it that (even though SATC is a show that is consistently popular, like I don't think it has ever fallen off and then had some sort of resurgence but ygwim) where ppl are aggressively hating Carrie, like she was the devil. Plus I find it difficult to look at fiction through real life eyes, like asking why would this person do this? well they did it bc this is a show and we need an inciting incident to move the plot forward yk?
Blair and Chuck were made for each other, I loved their dynamic. With that said, Chuck is obviously not a good guy. I think at the time, as a kid, some things flew over my head, but looking back he is scary and creepy and you'd feel unsafe in his presence. I suppose he was entertaining, like you got this 15, 16 year old kid talking about stock exchange and dressing like Hugh Hefner, it kinda is funny. Even though I was rooting for Chair (was that their ship name I can't remember) endgame, I did actually enjoy Blair and Dan together, I think it was a cute moment and they worked well together. I don't think their relationship was for shock value, they actually had kind of a proper enemies to friends to lovers arc. I liked Dan, but also looking back... kind of a creep as well, his obsession with Serena was weird and the reveal of him as GG was disappointing. I gotta admit I never watched the show with anticipation of GG being revealed, I personally was like ok if it happens, happens, if it doesn't, fine. I never was interested in looking for clues on who GG might be. I think the show would've been fine ending without that reveal tbh. Definitely one of the more underwhelming and disappointing show finales out there.
I loved Jenny, I loved Juliet, I think she was the best antagonist. I kinda didn't care about Nate that much. I loved that the show delved into the life and drama of the parents as well, sometimes more entertaining than teenage lives. Honestly, can't say I hated anyone, which... funny considering I opened this with a politer version of calling Serena a bitch lmao. But despite GG being looked at as a silly teen show, I think all these characters were pretty complex and no one was really entirely good or entirely bad. I think what carried that show was great costumes, great set design and charismatic actors. I actually read some of the books and yk they're fine, can't remember much of the details, but I think actors made it much more than it is on paper, which also I feel is a sign of times. Like not to lump these actors with actual movie stars of the past, but we can definitely see an actor is not a star anymore, they're a product. The show had a lot of plot holes, but... idk I can't say I'm intense abt plot holes unless it's truly insanely dumb and demeans the audience.
I don't know if you've checked out the reboot, I watched like first half of first season and it wasn't good. They tried to fix a lot of problems of the original, especially in matters of diversity and class consciousness, but the problem with a lot of "socially conscious" media nowadays is that their writing ends up consisting of slogans instead of yk actually good writing and dialogue. The original was quite scandalous for its time, like I've seen ppl say their parents wouldn't let them watch it. It was like SATC for teenagers. The reboot didn't have that edge, but I also don't think this is a uniquely GG problem, I think it's just the times. Television doesn't connect us anymore. Which I know is ironic saying this on Tumblr, on a fandom site, in an era where there are so many streaming platforms producing many many many tv shows and programmes and it all being actually more profitable than films, BUT you can't tell me our relationship to TV is the same as it was 20, 30, 40 etc years ago, or even just 10 years ago.
But yeah, all in all, I love the show, I love the fashion, I love the bitchiness and I think it came at the right moment in my life. If you want to share your own opinions feel free to do so, my inbox is always open. Like I said, haven't seen it in a long time, so my memory isn't super fresh, but I think I'm due for a rewatch. <3
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Bye Jeju, you've been good..
Eyes always on the prize Jungkookssii mm
The trio was really wholesome in some moments but I'm so ready for Jikook's cozy winter times. It's literally their default setting.
This type of lighthearted mood and way of talking about the topic brings me peace for them. They looked relieved and confident in their choice to stay together. I don't know if they actually knew since September about the lottery verdict or they were just manifesting real hard ahead of time because in their mind there's no way they're separating (like no we don't accept any other answer than being together) but either way what matters is the result and their content feeling.
The way Tae was on the phone the whole time like 'yeah I've heard your enlistment talk 348392 times already' 😂 There really is a sort of "danger" to them having only one extra person on the table cause they get too engulfed in each other. They need a big group when they go out or else 1-2 ppl will feel kinda alienated lol
Jimin in this dark flannel fit got the whole fandom in shambles and rightfully so.
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Gotta say every time Jimin entertains Jungkook going on and on about topics he knows/has info about, my fondness for them reaches a whole new peak 🥹
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I get they were trying to display their strength with their typical pool shenanigans but Jungkook?? You need to chill man there's plenty of other ways to "help a man from drowning" 😂(could this type of insane underwater hair grab be considered bf privileges? lol)
This towel scene is so 'boys' coded but also a little frisky you feel me? It just has that vibe you know..
This episode's cuddle was kinda my favourite so far tbh (the CT one is in its own hall of fame given how it was more of a hungry feast than a cuddle). Idk why it just felt very soft, squishy and needy.
NOW THIS is a confirmation about the perilla leaf debacle. Kook was so careful about it I was dying laughing. It can be a risky choice HAHAHAHAHA
mimi 🤝🏻 cats kook 🤝🏻 dogs
WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR YOU, BABY I ADORE YOU 🎶
This scene was the funniest of the episode. The theatrics, the dramatics, the "asking for more sausage while Jimin was leaving". PEAK
The way he was worried about his taste buds lol. Food really is his #2 priority damn. (#1 being Jimin)
Btw this scene doesn't prove anything but the fact that their hyung-dongseang dynamic is almost ✨nonexistent✨.
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I noticed they always look at the crew in front of them after smth happens or a joke or whatever. Instead they should look at the camera and break the fourth wall, it would be so funny.
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He's been thinking about it since NYC your honor..
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Out of topic but during 3 days in Jeju we could see them from time to time with a mic in their hands, especially Jimin, but they never showed any karaoke scenes. ROBBED
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The suspense about Sapporo is not good for my liking. Like they don't need to make Japan more mystical than it is already, we know it's gonna be the softest thing ever.
Why so hush hush huh? I expect an announcement video by Sunday! (max. monday!)
Anyways..Sapporooo here we cooomeee
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