#talking to a psychologist idk in 10 minutes

[foxok-stuff]

Man, I don't think I really recovered after being almost forced to go to that mental hospital at the end of February... Like- man...

Tw: mental hospital stuff..? Idk idk

(I'll post new art in less than an hour, I just needed to write this somewhere)

Everything is even more terrifying now... What if they do that again? I'll waste another fucking month without being able to contact my friends (I love them, they are the best) or doing anything I like! Because I only like drawing digitally. I don't like drawing on paper that much... And they only allowed thick crayons...

I pretty much just slept as much as could while there, because there was nowhere to go from people, except in sleep. There was also one aggressive girl, who I was placed with for a few days... She didn't end up hurting me, but she did hurt another girl that slept in our room... And then another one, after I got moved to another room. It was really scary...

You also couldn't cry? Like- if you cried, they would have prolonged your stay...

Other patients were pretty friendly for the most part... Staff? Not so much... Some nurses were nice, others were really rude... Doctors (besides the psychologist, she was nice) were rude too... One of them would make fun of problems of my roommates... They seemed scared and sad, why the fuck would you make fun of them...

That doctor also threatened me with prescribing injections (and IVs... They knew I was scared of needles, because I said so a few minutes before that), when I couldn't remember some stuff about my childhood (which is like- normal. What, am I supposed to remember everything that ever happened??)... I did manage to convince them not to.

They had a printed out schedule and it had "group activities" (I don't remember the wording, but it had that meaning... Just like- hobby stuff, I think.)... There were no group activities. We just did nothing all day (besides like- talking)... There was a tv and books, so I guess you could do that... I found the tv boring. And books? Nothing really interested me...

I got out of there in 3 weeks, which is like- the minimum amount of time they hold people there... I quit the meds they put me on the next day, because they made it really hard to sit still... And besides that, they didn't have any effect on me.

Overall? Bad experience, would not recommend. 0/10. Fuck doctors.

[blessedshortcake]

My opinion on the finale episodes below the cut. Obviously spoiler warning lol

First of all. I see people say it was really underwhelming and i kinda have to agree? It wasnt a Bad ending or a lazy one or whatever words have been thrown around tho imo. I feel like with all the hype about how "painful" and emotional itll be from the VA and from everyone, we all just expected more tragic outcomes or something.

I am dissappointed because of that as well. I liked how Simon finally reflected a bit and had some self awareness about their situation with Betty. I loved that he didnt become Ice King again or that they didnt do some actual time travel to "fix" stuff. I also liked that they didnt necessarily made him a bad husband (?/boyfriend?) he kinda just never realised that Betty has been putting more into their duo than he was.

That doesnt make him innocent tho b4 someone comes at me. He was a bit too self absorbed but i dont think he was entirely selfish either. He was a person who made mistakes and didnt realise them. The line where he said smt like "i wish we could have talked like this before" also makes it pretty clear to me that Betty never really spoke up about these things either. Golbetty had to make him aware and tbh? I think that was more Golb than Betty.

The whole Scarab ordeal felt a bit. Ehhhhhh I dont know. His anger reaction to things suddenly becoming "canon" (lmao) was very nice to see but him being allowed to wreck havoc like that for a good while felt more like an excuse to bring the others into this world. I dont have a problem with it btw i just dont see the point why we need Farmwold Jay and Little... I forgot her name damn. Also whys Babyworld Finn here 😭 (i get it, he was in the tank, i dont mean literally i mean Why)

As much as i was soooo mad when LSP freed the scarabs it was very in character. I like how it was a thing that he likes animals from the start so it wasnt senseless stupidity, it was something he would do even tho it was the wrong thing to do. Made me pause and lay down to stare at the ceiling in frustration for a solid minute i cant lie, still in chacter tho.

But alas. I like how in the end it all didnt turn magical (completely since ig its partially magical with Cake and everything else) and how Cake finally cooled down about the crown. IM ALSO SO HAPPY THEY KEEP IN TOUCH WITH SIMON OVER THE PHONEEE!! But yea him wanting to move was so real and I hope he does lmao he deserves it.

I only kinda wish they made him reconnect with Marcy a bit more. I am actually pretty dissappointed that we dont know if he ended up reaching out to her more or not. I understand his situation with not wanting to spook her, i actually feel that bit in a soul connecting level good god, but idk. Im at least happy he is Literally in therapy now

(Kinda makes me wonder tho if he spent the time between the end of AT and the start of FC with no like therapist or psychologist. Just rawdogging his mental illness about everything. Mood tbh but like did he? Did he??)

Anyway despite my slight dissappointment i am actually pretty happy with the outcome. I really liked the theories and the ideas of how Simon may make FC magical or what he will become but tbh this is probably the best outcome. Everyone got a happy/hopeful ending (minus Farmwold Finn ig who im atp assuming is dead. Also Star Marceline and PB) which i am really REALLY happy about.

I gotta say I already wanna write fanfic about these guys so inspirational effect granted. Woooo.

Tldr

I was kinda dissappointed because it was overhyped about how emotional it will be when it really wasnt but other than that I am really happy about how the ending turned out save for the alternatives staying in FC

Edit: I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THE WHOLE SHOW DONT TELL THING AND TBHHH??? TTTTBBBHHHH??? YEAH. IT WAS ALL JUST TALKED ABOUT LIKE WHAT ABOUT SYMBOLISM? MY GOD.

Also Simon had like 10 minutes to get closure with Betty which was horrifically rushed but again, when your wife turns into Basically God you kinda dont really have a choice to chit chat. Still not happy about it but again, could have been worse. Could have been much worse.

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Now that my secret identity has been revealed (by me) I shall bravely soldier on like nothing has changed and scream into the void.

Wynn! I know subtlety is not your strong suit, but damn.

Look at them! They're actually just talking and not arguing! I'm so proud.

Guys, I'm gonna be real honest. They've been talking for like 10/15 minutes now and I don't really know whats going on, my brain is so tired. I tried relistening. Absolutely nothing was retained. I might have to do this episode again, or maybe just not and see how big of a issue this will be.

So far I know that the sabat is attacking and they are debating what to do.

Johnny asking Miles to be his date. 👀 We all. Know Miles is saying hard to get.

😂😂😂Britta idk what you were expecting they'd say, but I know you didn't expect them to go oh okay no problem, because you're smarter than that.

Britta you cannot stay with Eden, there are people who would be upset. Here in the real world.

I mean Britta or someone needs to reach down deep inside her, if you know what I mean. 😏

This is hard though, because I totally get what Johnny is saying, but my social anxiety is agreeing with Britta. Tbh I'm surprised she hasn't just walked into the sun.

Neil, sweetheart, baby, love of my life. What is going on with you and the obsession with Britta? Like you are grilling her way too hard, and this is not the first time. Is this because she was kidnapped? Idk it's very strange, I can't place it.

Poor Britta, so much has happened to her that I had completely forgotten that Shaw had promised to 'give' her to some Bruja.

Johnny you don't know the half of Britta and Pendragon.

Wynn, you're a goddess for offering to go with Pendragon.

NEIL?!??! WHAT THE FUCK???? Idk if this is confirmation bias or what but you're being so weird about Britta!

Wynn: can we let Britta choose how she comes (to this). 😏 I'm so sorry, I am Really tired.

Neil: Britta, how do you wanna come?😂

Omg Wynn: I like mouth stuff. 😂😂 Thank god I am not alone on this train.

Do aunts and uncles usually talk about sex at thanksgiving???? That feels very unamerican.

Aw Britta I get you, being scared is the absolute worst. And having to do smth you're scared of sucks.

Wynn being her guidance councillor self.

Wow look at Johnny being all tactful and doing this dividing the invitation.

Neil, goddamn that is so sad. Why would Johnny just tell you good luck?? Dude you are a part of this coterie! When will you get that into your thick skull?

Wynn immediately catching it. She had a full time psychologist job with this coterie damn.

Miles just being a shithead: I heard you got invited to a ball recently.

Miles: I am used to being hated. (😭 what is going on you guys??? Youre the best!)

Miles actually thought that Wynn hated him now. Goddamn Wynn, I hope you charge by the hour.

Hell yeah, Britta!! I know this is all under duress, but if you can stop yourself from fleeing the scene when Pendragon shows up (which I wouldn't blame you for, let me be clear) the you're going to do a great job at this rave!

What if Delgado brings Carmen and Britta is going to get sucked into some bisexual maelstrom.

Neil!!! Sweet lord, why does it sound like you exactly know what's going on and yiu just want to hear her say it. Calm down.

Johnny getting a new jacket for Britta without question. 🥰

Neil omg are you seriously going to steal that jacket back??? Is this a weird Britta thing? Or a weird ownership of stuff thing? Or both or neither?

We all knew it, but it's still gratifying to see Miles being a great boy toy.

I don't think anyone has called a Bruja rave a soiree before. Lmao

Lmao Neil being pulled around by Jane.

Okay say what you want but this Rave is making everyone look good!!

Lmaooo Jane just collaring Neil without explanation. 😂

Wait what diablerist?? Ohh because of the trial??

Jane is the best, I love her.

I know it's such a small thing overall, but I love the mount of detail we always get clothes wise. It really helps me visualise, even though my visualisations are often wrong and offend people (see: Johnny's shaved head and Britta's light blonde curls)

Whethers is such a dream boat!

Johnny doing his iron heart thing. 🥰 I know he has done it a few times alrwady but it always warms my heart.

[fiveamandawake]

When I am feeling less sleep-deprived I should like to tell you an amusing anecdote of how I got undiagnosed (three times in a row in one week) of my clinical depression and anxiety disorder (which I've had and been unsuccessfully treated for for 10 years now). And called lazy and self-pitying, and informed that in fact I was doing quite well by this country's standards.

And I walked down the street in a daze after the third one, and then turned to my mum and said "you know what, maybe by *ranian standards I am fine". And we laughed helplessly and clung onto each other and hooted all the way back home.

And I'm not telling it as funny and absurd as it happened, but here's the interesting thing: I've been more or less okay since that day, almost crying with laughter after the psychiatrist who said I just needed a friend my own age and not to be hanging out with the sick and elderly right after the psychologist who said I needed to go on dates and "have a milkshake or a frou-frou drink like a young person does" right after the neurologist who (less than two minutes after I had a full meltdown in his office) said I was wasting my athletic potential because he'd never seen calfs (calves?) as powerful as mine.

idk. I've seen doctors in Canada, the US (telehealth) and the UK who have agreed I'm sick with one mood disorder and having my life curtailed by another. For years and years. I took all sorts of medications, did all sorts of talk therapy without seeing much of a difference. And then I try seeking help here and they unanimously tell me "you're literally fine bc ALL our patients are either exactly like you or doing even worse". And it worked, sorta. That's hilarious to me.

I'm not magically all better. I wish I could feel like I wanted to be alive, or to have a dream to want to work towards again; that hasn't been the case. But I'm not despairing and teetering on the brink anymore, not a hazard to myself anymore. Sometimes I even smile out of nowhere, giggle at some nonsense; that hadn't happened for years and years. Laughing all the way home in disbelief and resignation put something back into place inside me.

I don't know what to make of it. I'm a little outraged at being dismissed out of hand after a truly traumatic 4 years which have not improved my existing mental health issues, but the more droll elements of this business keep getting to me.

[notallwonder]

CME 17x08, what have you for me...

- this Lawrence Durrell quote "the richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time"...in Emily's voice no less. I assume it's about Rossi, but a girl can twirl her hair and think of other applications.

- this Rossi stuff with Jill. Hmph. And Prentiss talking about... falling in love with your best friend's wife, and timing... teehee

- the way Emily listens and responds, reminds me of their chat in season 7. Can't remember the episode atm but it's when Rossi is thinking his ex wife (#1) wants to rekindle and Emily tells him to take the leap. I love that little scene, so this reminder was nice.

- JJ & Luke in the field. looking foine

- I like the way the Stuart house kids think Voit's a little bitch

- I really like Rebecca. Tyler's sort of growing on me, like some kind of inoffensive fungus maybe. I'm not a fan of whatever they're doing to Luke with this alleged "triangle"

- so all the Gold Star doctors/psychologists are dying/killed...I see where we're going here. Jill you in danger girl.

- Paget's hair so pretty 😍

- Tara is gorgeous, always. But those pics of Aisha directing the last ep? I nearly passed away 🔥🔥🔥 holy shit 🔥🔥🔥

- wait WHAT. Did I fall asleep? (that's what I get for watching this in the middle of the night)

- WHAT???!!!

- going back to watch what I missed

- I gotta be so honest. I just am not that interested in Rossi's emotional turmoil, his inner world. I'm sorry old man. I just....I just want to see more of JJ, more of Luke, more of Tara, more of Emily. Voit in s16 and now Gold Star in s17 have both built to/been aimed at Rossi at the last chapter, and I just do not find that particularly compelling. I think this is a result of the 10-episode serial format. They have to make the overall arc "big" and they make it about "the BAU" and who is more representative of the BAU than Rossi. I like Joe Mantegna, but of the limited time we get the fact that it's Rossi, over and over, is a bummer to me. ftr this is also why I am pleased that Spencer is not in evolution - bc I don't think they could resist making it all about him, somehow.

- I did like the way they had him zoning out while JJ etc delivered the profile, and then she clapped real big.

- wait a minute here. We were led to believe that Gold Star had *national security* implications. Now it's come to light that Jill used the white paper to draft a proposal, and the proposed project was funded by a mysterious *private entity*. Is the supposed blowback that the FBI sponsored research that eventually led to the creation of these killers? So the FBI has an interest in not letting that information go public, in order to protect its reputation (lol)? And you'd think, if the FBI director "had it out for" the BAU, what better excuse to reorganize or dismantle than to let the "founders" of the BAU take the public fall. Idk it just feels weak to me, the way this is all supposed to hang together. I suppose if there really are other facilities besides Stuart House, that were more successful (ie their patients became agents of state violence rather than uncontrolled killers), the gov would want to keep that secret. It's a pretty dark view of the establishment, that CM doesn't generally express. But we are no longer just a CBS procedural...

- the scenes with Jill and Damien. Ran counter to my expectations. It happened so quickly, that she convinced him his training had been a lie, that he killed his foster dad for no good reason. And then he's dead??? I honestly would have liked something more with this guy. He already knew quite well that he had been made into a monster, and was apparently exacting his revenge for that. So why give Jill any time at all? Because Jill manipulate him by using his given "purpose" (to "save the children")? And Damien and Jade have a fairly deep bond, so why does he commit suicide by her hand, leaving her alone? I'm confused by how that all went down.

- seems like, at this rate, we're unlikely to get any further follow up on how JJ is doing with BAUgate. great

- also side note but did Emily officially step down/was demoted from Section Chief? She's UC but no longer SC I think.

- hoping and praying for Jill to interact with any other member of the team going forward. Especially JJ. Not Tyler

- this show is so disappointing! I feel comforted by that. And disappointed lol

- maybe on rewatch this will flow together better for me...

I'm sure my overall impression of this episode was damaged by the fact I fell asleep for half of it and woke up to the climactic tragic. Lol moment

[moon-moon-wolf]

《ok I've been needing to start writing a diary for a very long time now (even my therapist tried to encourage me to do so) so here i go ☆-diary entry day 1-☆》

13.3.2024

(9:24 am)

currently sittinh in the bathroom floor at school, it's been like ten minutes already oughhhjf i need to get back to class soon or my class assistant is gonna bomb me with the cvtting accusations yet again wahh

im feeling so anxious but relaxed and empty at the same time..

this whole over 1.5 hours I've been just thinking about trying out snorting my adhd meds (equasym) to see what would happen lol

and also thinking abt either cutting a styro/babycut on my throat or cutting a vein on my hand so i would maby get the medical attention I've been needing this past 5 years or so

cuz like apparently me telling my psychologist that the random episodes where im actually considering sewerslide like /srs isn't concerning enough then idk what is

LIKE ALL SHE PRETTY MUCH SAID WAS "everyone has bad days sometimes and if u feel like you want to cut mby consider usind the ice cube or rubber band method next time ☺️☺️" LIKE HUHHH.... DID U GET UR LICENSE FROM TEMU OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCKKK !!!?!?!!!!.!?!!!!!!

(9:51 am)

alr went back to class ghhgjd

my teacher just got me a cup of coffee ty pookie but i feel so weirddd feels like im hot ad cold at the same time amd my whole body is shakinf dies and fucking explodes

(10:13 am)

ok i pussied out from snorting them and instead tried to just put the meds under my tongue to see if it has any effect ..💀

currently not really feeling any effects minus shaking and light-headiness but maby that's just me being a whimp idk I'll update later if anything happens im scareddd ( T∀T)

10:45 am

OK BAD BAD MISTAKE GGELPL..

I SRARTED SHAKING LIKE REALLY BADLY AND IT FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO GET AN PANICATTACK OR SOMETHING

then my pussy ass went to whine to the teacher rhat i felt pretty sick and wanted to go to the nurses office, so i did

i relaxed a little after talking to the nurse but still little shaky and light headed tbh

she questioned me then told me to go eat a little then come back when im finished like alrr pooksters 😚😚

11:58 am

at the cafeteria rn but we have tuna lasagna I HATE TUNALASNGA 🗣🗣🗣

like what even is that it looks like it has the mind of it's own stopit

(erm ignore the bunnies, had to put something over that hideous creature so it wouldn't be on display in my profile 😛)

11:18

FUCKING HELLL SHESBCALLING TO THE HEALYHCENTER FUCKKKKFLFKEKJW LIKE I KNOW I NEED HELP BUT I DONT WANT MY PARENTS KNOW WE JUST HAD MY GRANDMAS FUNERAL LIKE5 DAYS AGO AND MY MOM IS PRETTY STRESSED IN GENERAL RN FUCK IM SL HORRIBLE WTF I DONT WANNA MAKE THEM WORRIED STOPPP IM THE WORST SON EVER UGHHH

11:25

the nurse said that she's just making a quick call to the center GIRL IT'S BEEN OVER TEN MINUTES WHO ARE YOU CALLINGG MY WHOLE BLOODLINE??? PLS IM SO NERVOUS

11:43

alr ok im not going to the health center, but the nurse told me that if i get worse i should go see her immediately, or go to the center.

idk im little dizzy and shaky rn but i think we good 😀👍

11:50

hm im thinking about getting a therapy dog/ animal so i wouldn't get these weird toughts and ideas maby

having animal company just relaxes and helps me so idk i did talk abt it with the nurse and she was very positive abt it and said it was a good idea :3

i remember talking to my mother abt it too but she said something like "yeah but your anxeity isn't 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 bad 🤗"

like miss mam your kid cut himself in school multiple times, is paranoid that he might k1ll himself on a whim, tried to get high from his meds just for fun and sometimes even cries in class when left alone but okay if you say so 🤷‍♂️

12:41

alr idk actually maby i should go to the nurses office then the center after all..

maby i could finally get some help to my actual issues, rather than just for my learning problems but who knows

12:50

guys maby taking my meds drug abuser style wasn't such a good idea after all me thinks

13:06

alr school ended but im currently sitting at the nurces office ughh my head spins

feels like im in a dream

13:41

okk walking to rhe health center rn wish me luck gusy

13:46

NVM UHHHSH IM HAVING DOUPTS HHELPP....

IM SO NERVOUS MABY TH8S WAS A BAD ISEA ARFTER ALL UHH

13:51

ight fam im here what noe

14:15

alr they checked my pulse and stuff,

everything was much normal than earlier but my pulse was somewhat high

now im just waiting for another doctor to come and talk to me gulps shivers

14:37

attempt to finally get proper care failed miserably im so pathetic man

they just checked my pulse n stuff and let go

no guestioning why i tried to overdose on my meds but okay.

that shit was so embarrassing dawg💀

i should've just taken more fucking piss baby pussy whimp why didn't i make them check the huge gaping scars on my leg to see if they're infected ugh

alr then i have to think something else, my fucking family and psychologists only care about my academics like i just wanna know what's wrong with me and how could it be fixed

im only diagnosed wirh dyslexia and adhd and in my opinion neither one of them makes a guy act like this tbh..

i also feel like that me being self aware of my situation and everything makes me feel like im just faking this all/ being mentally ill and it just makes me feel so embarrassed and total shit

like it's not valid

like the ppl arounds me, especially my family and friends are just being stressed out over my nonsensical shenanigans

(took me over half an hour to yap allat wtf💀)

15:13

GUYS IS EMOTIONAL SUPPROT FERRET A THING PLEAS3 JUST LOOK ST THEMMM 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️

the way i would never even look at a blade if i had one omgf

i know they are alot to handle and probably wouldn't be a good therapy animal but please jst let me be happy okay?? 😢😢💔

16:01

eepy

16:50

AAAHH HELP STHIT I FORHOT TO TELL MY PARENTS THAT MY DRUMMING LESSON ENDS AT 16:45 ...

both of my parents were just calling me non-stop (my phone was on silence mode 💀)

giggling when i walked out of the building where my class was i just saw my dad pulling away and i just stood there watching him leave like

17:13

meow got home likw 10 minutes ago

it's so weird trying to act all normal with my parents while they have no idea taht i nearly almost overdosed with my meds at school tday 😛

22:28

prolly gonna go sleep soon my heaf hurts so bad gn guys follw for more bangers🔥🔥

[happiiest]

😷

[awetistic-things]

okay sooooo i went to see a psychologist two years ago and she said that i fulfilled the criteria for autism. but then i went to see another psychologist and she said that i wasn’t neurodivergent. it’s kinda confusing but maybe it’s because in the second assessment i was masking my symptoms a lot more because i was a lot more aware of them???because college has been incredibly difficult for me with the disruption in my routine and also i’ve always had an issue with food and sensory issues. my mum thought that i was autistic when i was 15 because of my problems with food. i also have some hyper mobility and when i was younger i saw a speech therapist and i had additional classes for maths because i found it difficult. i also have bad hand eye coordination and find sports difficult.. also idk if this classifies as a special interest or not but when i was 17 i loved gilmore girls.

i watched it once and then during the summertime i watched it four times back to back, also bought all seven seasons on dvd. another thing about me is that this summer i loved stranger things so much that i would spend hours on end analysing it.

do you think that’s similar to anyone else’s experiences on here ??? i’m a little thrown off because of what the second psychologist said😭 but also maybe this is just me but does anyone on here find that people who are loud and bubbly are overwhelming to be around… because they’re always talking and it can be quite overwhelming… and they can just be so bubbly that it’s hard to keep up… they’re so loud that it’s hard to be around them…

i also find the sound of people eating so annoying like the texture and sound is just too much for me also the smells , i find really hard to deal with unless it’s something nice like chocolate or pizza. i just feel like i can get so attached to people really easily and they just aren’t like that and tend to take advantage of me😭😭 but idk if i’m autistic🫠🫠 does anyone find that this relates to them too?obvi you can’t diagnose me, just wondering if anyone relates.

also, i did a couple of tests on here and here are my results.

autism spectrum quotient: 27 out of 50

RAADS-R: 140 out of 227

empathy quotient: 26 out of 80

clinical partners test: 20 out of 30

aspie quiz: 127 of 200

AQ 10: 5 out of 10

AQ: 23

toronto empathy quotient: 60 out of 64

masking test: 131

hey :)

i definitely think your masking in your second appointment contributed to your psychologist saying they don’t believe you’re neurodivergent

as for relatability to what you’re saying, i pretty much relate to all of it:

- i love being friends with bubbly people, but sometimes being around them when i’m already overstimulated makes things excessively difficult

- i hate, hate, HATE the sound of chewing. like once i full-on screamed at my brother just because he was eating, just eating

- smell is a really, really big thing for me personally. it really wasn’t until recently, but it has resulted in me walking around my own home with a mask on (lathered in Aveeno baby lavender lotion)

- i open up to people stupid quickly, ending in hella over-sharing because i just don’t know the correct amount of information to tell someone at a time. people may have used this against me at certain points in time, but i genuinely could have not noticed 😭

- i definitely get your stranger things special interest, because that was me with “avatar: the last airbender” i mean i could not go 40 minutes without talking about that damn show much less thinking about it

[literallytoad]

(this post is a rambling mess sorry)

Ugh I'm really really doubting my non-adhd diagnosis and I really feel like i have valid concerns but i also am afraid that I'm just in denial and being a stubborn piece of shit and I wish I had brought anything up at my actual feedback session but I didn't want to argue or be confrontational or act like I knew better than the professionals so I didn't

I probably need to read my report again bc I'm sure there were other things too but they told me the main reason they didn't diagnose me with adhd was because i performed within the normal range on these two computer tests (one of them had letters pop up on the screen and the other one had sounds) and one actual scientific review said that the auditory test had a false negative result for like 78% of kids with adhd? I've also read that those tests can be misleading because they are basically video games which is true, and also I think I cheated on the auditory one because you were supposed to press the spacebar when you heard the high sound but only if the low sound came first, and after a few tries I realized that if I just kept my hands away from the keyboard until I heard the low sound it got super easy? And if I hadn't done that I am positive I would have done way worse

And also they said my reading recall is average but now I'm afraid I cheated on that too bc you were supposed to read the passage while they timed you and tell them when you were done and I def read them 2 or 3 times (I read fast and they were only a paragraph each) so I think I was only supposed to read them once? I REALLY think that test was wrong bc can't most people read a book and at least remember the main plot details? Like it really seems like they can? And I can't?

But then if I hadn't done those things, and theoretically I had been diagnosed, then right now I would be like "I think my diagnosis is a lie because i didn't really do my best" so ?????????????

And finally, idk if this even applies to me and my assessment in particular, but I've also been reading a lot trying to figure out how they do a differential diagnosis even, and several resources are basically like "make sure you rule out depression and anxiety before making an adhd diagnosis" but I know it's possible to have both and that it's possible for adhd to cause anxiety and depression symptoms as well as the other way around so like

Anyway I guess I'm just really frustrated and upset because i wanted to get assessed so I would know FOR SURE, I figured the tests were sensitive enough to account for basically everything, I put so much money I didn't have on my credit cards and the tests took forever and were REALLY hard and mentally/emotionally overwhelming and exhausting, but I put myself through it because I thought I would KNOW and I can't tell if I'm so unsure because of valid reasons or because I just don't want to accept it, but either way I'm confused and doubting myself and feeling like shit and I wish I hadn't even bothered.

[george-fabian-weasley]

Hi! Once you get this you have to say five things that you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to ten of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) SPREAD POSITIVITY 💌😘

Hiiii and also thank you to @omg-imatotalmess for sending me this too, you're so sweet <3

What I like about myself, personality-wise, is that I have this 'psychologist/therapy' energy around me that people(toxic and non-toxic) felt at ease with me. I know it sounds silly and maybe emotionally damaging but to know that I have a certain aura that allows people to relax and be themselves around me-bad or good- is always nice to realize.

Another thing personality-wise is I'm weird as fuck KDHSJDJDJ a LOT of people has called me weird and not normal and I used to be so insecure of being myself because of that, fearing I would lose friends, but I found a group of friends that accept me as who I am aND ARE EQUALLY AS WEIRD AND CRAZY JDHJSHD

aNOTHER PERSONALITY-WISE thing i like about myself because appearance isn't everything in life is that I can go on and on and on and on aND ON about the things that I love and passionate about and to me that is the most endearing aND annoying fact about myself I could talk about DID for three hours and I won't even finish then KDHJSHD

Okay now for the appearance-wise, I have two scars on both my eyelids from this tumor surgery when I was 5, there were two active hurting tumors in both of my eyelids and they needed to surgically remove it because they hurt and I couldn't see properly. The scars healed and they looked like just two short lines on my eyelids. And these two are by far the most interesting scar story I ever have :D

I love love LOVE my lips and my mouth, I think it's my favorite feature about myself. I have these thing called the Joker Lips, if you know what I mean gah idk how to explain this JDHSJJD my lipline is basically longer than average and a friend once told me that the Ironman mask reminds them of me because of the mouth 💀💀💀

Gah i needed this actually, i really had to think for 10 minutes for this KDHJSJDJ thank you so so much for sending me asks!! 💕

[justanotherlifeff]

Ignore my rant lol

I haven’t updated Glitch yet cause I’ve been going through some really shitty stuff lately. First off, I’ve got exams in the next 2 months and let’s just say, my parents are giving me absolute hell about it, giving absolutely no shit about my mental health. I wouldn’t have written all these on my blog but I kinda don’t have anyone to share my thoughts with soooooooo here I am putting up my word vomit on this blog. Anyone who read my fanfics probably have noticed that (Y/N) is from a really shit family. Well, I wrote all that from personal experiences though I’d rather not go into further details about that.

My parents, specifically my dad tend to question my entire existence when I don’t study (cause studying for any less than 5 hours a day is not considered as studying in his opinion). I have a full time job and balancing that with my studies end up being extremely difficult. Infact, if I were to put up with his skyhigh expectations of me, I’d not have a second of the day to myself. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression an year or two back when my parents finally took me to a psychologist after my self harming tendencies got a bit too bad. I was asked to go to therapy sessions but my parents didn’t let me as in the country I live at, mental health is considered as a taboo topic.

Basically, my depression ended up never being treated and instead, a huge set of rules were imposed on me to stop the self harming tendencies (such as not being allowed in the washroom for over 10 minutes or not being allowed to lock my door despite being a 19 year old). Then again, despite all restrictions, people still find a way to act on impulses right? I’ve honestly been lying to everyone. I was clean from self harm for an year but I couldn’t keep it up. Sharing it with my so called friends ended up being a disaster. I know that they were mean to me about it cause they care but honestly, I just wanted to be comforted.

I wrote ‘so-called-friends’ cause I barely talk to them now. Or rather, they distanced themselves from me. It kinda makes sense though cause being around someone like me probably hinders their own mental health. I really just wanna talk to people sometimes but then I kinda just wonder what’s even the point? It’s not like the friendship is gonna last. I’ll just be abandoned again. So, here I am, ranting about my shit life and my shit mental health to people who don’t even know me. How pathetic can I even be? Nowadays, I think of dying quite often. That probably would be the easy way out. I had a lot of dreams of moving abroad, having a good set of friends, having a nice life in general. I honestly tried improving myself everyday to make myself be more likeable but seems like I’m just too shit huh... Anyway, I’m done ranting. Sorry about wasting your time.

Now for the important shit, Idk when I can update Glitch. I will finish the story but yeah. I really am not finding any motivation to do it rn. Sorry!

[zekescurioshop]

Rating the characters from The Final Scene

Nick Falcone

ok first off i will just say that i love this man. He’s out here tryna save this theater which is good, he does come off as shady at first but then you learn that hes not that bad of a guy and he helps nancy with trying to stop the demolition to save Maya. He’s so fun to talk to. Also i will just say that hes not just a snack, hes a whole meal. He’s always standing in the theater with his ass turned towards you and yessss 😏. I would rate him 10/10 but i will have to give him a point off for the camo...and also the fact that he faked a kIDNAPPING in the past but i guess thats just water under the bridge now i gUESS??? Also that one line about having a laptop in hIS VAN which idk why its so funny to me but it is...

9/10

Brady Armstrong

ok so i kind of both love/hate this guy. He thinks hes like super hot n shit but not really. His hairline is receding and he really just comes to a movie premiere in a boring grey sweater...ok. He’s ok looking though. I noticed he does have green eyes i think and that gives him a point in the looks department bc im weak for green eyes. He is not nearly as self centered or obnoxious as Rick Arlen so i’ll give him that. He’s a terrible liar tho, you’d think an actor would be better at lying...maybe he is just as bad as acting as Rick Arlen. Also like he does have the power to call off the demolition to save Maya’s life but nooooo Planet Tinsletown is more important to him apparently :/. But i do get the vibe from him that deep down he is kind of insecure and awkward but he really overcompensates for that by acting like hes super confident and hot shit. I can’t help but like him even if he seems to be a bit full of himself.

6/10

Simone Muller

ok first off..lEOPARD PRINT? girl wtf. Shes a real jerk and only cares about promoting her star and not about the morals of her actions. I kind of get the vibe that she unironically thinks that animal print patterns, crop tops, and hot pink are like good fashion, even if this game was made in the 2000s and that stuff might have actual been in style. She kind of gives me the vibe that shes going through a midlife crisis and trying her best to stay relevant with all the 20 somethings and she just is on top of all the trends and she tries so hard to be cool but shes just so tacky. It’s implied that she has a secret soft side from her emails to her bf and the email about her cat and i think thats kind of cute but so weird to think that shes a decent person outside of this game. I just love to hate her. I hate her in the way that i like to make fun of her that i start to actually like her.

4/10

Joseph Hughes

ok so i would be like “hey somebody come get your grandpa.” but i don’t think this man has any children at all...or any living family left, which makes me sad. He seems so nice at first but then on day 3 he just goes into denial and refuses to accept reality and then locks you in the projection room. Also hes the caretaker but his theater is a mess and its run down which gives me the vibes that he is not well (well before this whole kidnapping plot) and needs to see a doctor or a psychologist for his issues. I feel bad for him but then i remember that he almost got Maya and Nancy killed. I don’t think he actually intended to hurt anybody, he was just bluffing when he said that Maya would go down with the building, but the whole thing just got out of his control and he just kept them in the building at the last minute because he was still desperately holding out hope that the theater would get saved at the last minute. Or maybe by day 3 he just started to go even more batshit and decided that he didn’t care if Maya, Nancy, and himself went down with the theater, thats just the price the demolition people would pay...which is really disturbing to think about. As for his looks he does NOT get to join the gilf club.

2/10

[saybees]

I really hope I can go to an actual psychologist and/or psychiatrist at some point. I'm so tired of not knowing how to deal with not only my trauma but also my neurodivergence. I want answers and I want help. Like it's been about 3 years since all the shit with my ex and it still really gets to me. I have so many triggers. And it's shit I can't really avoid because it's such simple and common things. When I was going to counseling I didn't really get to cover my past much. We mostly talked about the present. The reason I started going was due to a very weird episode I had where my anxiety was through the roof and I had some terrible dissociation. Like it's the only time it's happened, but it freaked me out and I booked an appointment right away with the community health place and I was hoping we could get through a lot of my past and my trauma, but we never did... And then covid happened and my therapist decided I didn't need her anymore. We had a phone appointment and all she did was talk to me for 10 minutes, ask me how I was doing and then tell me she didn't think I needed to book another appointment and if I felt I did to just call, but I was so put off by that and also her last emails to me where she brushed me off and told me to do my own research on an issue I'd been having I just never called her and then she emailed me one last time to ask if she could close my file... Idk it just feels bad. Like I don't feel like I got what I needed. It did help a little with the things I was going through while I was seeing her, but there are so many other things that still bother me that I never got to deal with. And she didn't want to send me to a psychiatrist because she didn't "believe" in meds. Uhhhhhhhh weird but ok.

[fangirling-throughlife]

A couple of years back, while Harry Styles was touring and I was starting to become a big Shawn Mendes fan, I told my mother (who’s a psychologist and a human resources expert) something along the lines of “Harry Styles is the nicest human in the world”. What followed was an hour long speech on why we can’t suppose we know a celebrity, and why we can’t say things about their personality or how they treat people, because we only see what they want us to see. I’ve got to be honest, I didn’t really care about the speech, I was so sure that my favourites (Harry Styles, Niall Horan and Shawn Mendes) were such nice people.

Now a lot of things have happened that made me change how I talk about celebrites. Now I rarely say “He’s such a nice person”, but I rather say “He treats his fans so nicely”. 

For starters, I am going through a rough time in my relationship of 7 years, because somewhere during his Erasmus he changed and I didn’t see it coming (or he just knew how to hide his hideous personality for 5 years), so I decided that I am in no way qualified to infere someone’s personality. If I can’t do it wtih my boyfriend, how am I supposed to do it with a celebrity?

Then there’s the whole thing about Shawn Mendes. I’ve seen some people saying they don’t recognise him anymore. Did he really change or has he just stopped caring about what we think of him? I don’t know if this is because of the personal bullshit I’ve been through for the past year, but the whole “I love you so much” and “you’re the best fans in the world” that made me blush (and internally think “come on, no need to be so intense, we get it”) just sound so fake and forced now. Like “I know I lost a big part of my fanbase, but, look, it’s still the same me”. I know we all change. I know I’ve done a lot of growing up the past 2 years, and we can’t expect him to keep a 20-year-old mindset, but idk...

And last, there’s the whole Niall Horan/Hailee Steinfield thing. You know how you feel when your parents go through a bad divorce and you end up picking sides? That’s how I feel right now about them. I love them both so much as artists. I was so so happy when they started dating, because two of my favourite artists were together and happy. Then they broke up and Hailee posted the “don’t date a narcissist” text. Then Heartbreak Weather started to be a thing (the singles started to come out), “Put A Little Love On Me” was out, followed shortly by “Wrong Direction”. I’ve got to say, even though it wasn’t a diss track, I felt so bad for Niall (I’d had PALLOM on repeat for days), but somewhere in the back of my head I started to think about what Hailee said. Could it be that we were all wrong all along? That Niall is a toxic person? A lot of people who’ve met him a couple of times say that he’s one of the nicest people in the industry. Again, who says it’s not a façade? Of course, when you meet a person for 10 minutes you can’t tell if he’s going to be as sweet and caring in a relationship. Now I’m kinda torn between the idea of good and toxic Niall. Nevertheless, I listen to each of his IG live while I study and I stream Heartbreak Weather 5 times a day.

The only one I don’t have complex feelings about (yet) is Harry Styles, so I guess that, for now, he’s still the “nicest human in the world” ;)

[pduwd]

The beautiful soul @dtexo tagged me, thank you sweetheart 💙💙

----------------‐---------------------------

1. what is the color of your hairbrush?

Blue and it has a lil duck inside.

2. a food you never eat?

Any kind fish.

3. are you typically too warm or too cold?

Hands and feet too cold, face too warm❄🔥

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Taking a shower

5. what is your favorite candy bar?

Kitkat or Kinder idk (I love chocolate too much hihi)

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, a football match

7. what is the last thing you said out loud?

My teachers are shitty so I'm gonna study while I'm disappointed (to my mum😂)

8. what is your favorite ice cream?

Mint&chocolate, cheesecake, oreo and so many more because I love ice cream too much!

9. what was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. do you like your wallet?

Yess, it's purple🤭💜

11. what was the last thing you ate?

An apple

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

No :(

13. the last sporting event you watched?

Probably a basketball match

14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

The ones with salt or butter. Sweet popcorns are EVIL.

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to?

The one and unique @in-elk-universe-voor-altijd

16. ever go camping?

No :(

17. do you take vitamins?

Yeah, everyday

18. do you go to church every sunday?

Nope

19. do you have a tan?

I wish. I only get sunburned

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza?

Pizza all the way

21. do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't like soda

22. what color socks do you usually wear?

White or black

23. ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't have drive license so no

24. what terrifies you?

The dark, the heights, mirrors, thunderstorms, bees...a lot of things 😂😂

25. look to your left, what do you see?

A lamp

26. what chore do you hate?

Do the dishes

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?

5SOS and 😍

28. what’s your favorite soda?

I don't like sodaa

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?

Go in because I don't have a car, sadly

30. who’s the last person you talked to?

My mum

31. favorite cut of beef?

Idk

32. last song you listened to?

Shine by Years & Years

33. last book you read?

The little prince for the 1737278 time

34. favorite day of the week?

Thursday or Saturday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards?

More or less (more less than anything else)

36. do you like your coffee?

I LOVE IT

37. favorite pair of shoes?

Black boots

38. at what time do you normally go to bed?

Hihi...3 or 4 a.m.

39. at what time do you normally get up?

7:30/8:00 am

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunrise, always 😍

41. how many blankets are on your bed?

3

42. describe your kitchen plate.

Boring white

43. do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage?

Gin

44. do you play cards?

Nope

45. what color is your car?

I don't have one.

46. can you change a tire?

I don't think soo

47. what is your favorite province?

I really don't know tbh

I've never had one but I would love to work as a psychologist.

49. how did you get your biggest scar?

With the edge of a swimming pool

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy?

I sent my bestie a lot of pics of me being dumb to make her laugh💙

--------------------------------------------------

I'm tagging @in-elk-universe-voor-altijd @voldemortimaginarynose96 @jusdekiwi and anyone who feels like doing it (feel free to ignore sunshines)

[brywrites]

What did you think of the Season 15 first episodes of Criminal Minds?

I just watched the episodes today, but here are my usual recap thoughts! [spoilers below, obviously]

15x01: Under the Skin

I’m here for the inter-team baby shower profiling

Where is Lisa anyways??? Give us the Garvez/Ralvez we deserve

Excuse me but Dr. Tara Lewis would never call Freud a genius. NEVER. No self-respecting psychologist would! (Did the man revolutionize the idea of talk therapy? Kind of. Was he problematic af? Yes. Were any of his theories correct? No!)

Emily, you can’t really yell at Rossi for going rogue when you literally did that all the time

Garcia’s blue hair streak is giving me life

Grace’s southern accent is like Reid’s dad it just can’t seem to stick around for long

Ohhh okay so we’re doing a Silence of the Lambs homage here, I see it, I love it

Okay i totally thought it was going to be cute, young ME who was acting all egotistical and weird but PLOT TWIST it’s the old one! Also uhh did cute young ME guy survive or not because they didn’t show him after?

Rossi as Clarice Starling, I’m down with that

Uhhh I guess if you tell Spencer Reid you’re in love with him, you get shot??

15x02: Awakenings

Hello JJ is missing!! Guys! Guys!!

Ok but did we really have to have several minutes of scenes where poor JJ is just sitting there in her bra and Reid’s awkwardly standing there like

Okay but the anxiety I felt over having Reid and Will wait together I was so sure Reid was going to blurt out what had happened

The excited hug from Will though so wholesome :’) 

Also was SO sure Will was gonna overhear the conversation where JJ’s like “I do love you but” I kept waiting for it to get awkward! 

I’m not super thrilled with how they resolved the “I love you” because it doesn’t really feel fair to anyone - it’s not fair to Reid to know that he could’ve had that, it’s not fair to JJ's character who has always put her family first and treated Reid like a brother, and it’s not fair to Will who has been a perfect partner and husband. But maybe that’s just life and life is messy and at least they handled it like adults?

Grace’s friend: “Do you know how long I spent trying to find you?”

Me: lesbians???

Grace: *holds her hand*

Me: l e s b i a n s !!!

Also I’m not totally convinced by the “Reid has been in love with her and waiting for her this whole time.” There are a few moments I can recall in the show’s history after Season 1 that could lean Jeid (Reid worrying over her in the ambulance, The Forever People, etc.) but they also make sense in a best friend/sibling dynamic. There weren’t moments where I really felt the chemistry or it felt like he was pining over her (unlike say, the Bones/Booth dynamic in Bones). 

Again, Reid’s “waiting” thing just doesn't feel like it makes sense? It’s definitely sadder than Reid just being bad at love, but idk... he loves being a godfather, he doesn’t seem like the type to want to see a family broken up so he can get the girl (maybe love makes us crazy though), and also Maeve? If he had a “taste” of that kind of fuller happiness as he says to Blake, wouldn’t he want to seek that out rather than waiting for something he’s not sure is real? 

Props to AJ Cook for acting out to complicated “I love you” scenes in a row”

I do like the talk he had with Diana at the end. Though he’s grown and changed and become more self-assured, etc. it hasn’t really felt like Reid has matured as much in the last 10 or so years. He was somewhat of an “old soul” as a young person, but has remained there and hasn’t moved on much, despite having numerous character arcs that should’ve seen him do so. He still in many ways feels a bit childish in the way he reacts to other things and other people, and his conversation with his mom was proof of that. I’m glad he’s decided to “grow up” and “move forward.” I think it’s time to let his character become something more than a whiz kid who spouts of facts but doesn’t change emotionally

Thx for coming to my TEDtalk