#talking about how his pitchfork actually sucks

[thelaughingmerman]

For now I am sleepy but soon it's my weekend and I can draw as many silly pumperkins as I want maybe some funsize too

[themultifanshipper]

Poker? I hardly know her!

You and Oscar stared at Lando, who was peeling his shirt off before anyone had even put any chips on the table.

Maybe Lando didn't understand the rules of poker after all...

Warnings: Not quite proofread I just needed to get it out of my drafts before people started bringing pitchforks to my house, some of this is insane, i'm warning you, brief poker jargon, fucking on a jet, oral sex, male and female recieving AND giving, canonically bisexual landoscar, a bit of a humiliation kink, strip poker turns dirty very quickly, bad dirty talk, cum, Lando is a TEASE and a WHORE, finger sucking (inspired by something someone actually did to me once)

“Lando why are you taking your shirt off?” Oscar frowned in confusion.

“This is strip poker. You bet your clothes, don't you?” he answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You'd known Lando a long time, and he was a bit of a dim bulb (affectionate) sometimes.

Oscar you'd only met when he became Lando's teammate, but you got along like a house on fire, and despite you not knowing each other very well, one of your favourite bonding activities was making fun of Lando.

“Lando!” you laughed “that's not how it works. You bet your clothes but you only take them off if you lose”

He looked offended at the implication that he didn't already know that and tried to defend himself, but he had a slight tint of red quickly spreading over his cheeks.

“I knew that! I just think it's better to put my bets on the table is all...”

You and Oscar dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Okay whatever you say, it's not like you'd be keeping it on long anyway” you teased and winked at Oscar.

“Oh fuck off!” he gave you the middle finger before picking up his cards that Oscar had been dealing. “and since when do you play poker? You’ve never mentioned it to me...”

Oscar shrugged, picking up his own cards.

“You know what boarding school is like. There's nothing to do except play poker, and ... uhh...” he trailed off and you looked at him questioningly.

“Well, you know. It's boring” he said quickly, his cheeks going slightly pink as he avoided your gaze.

Lando narrowed his eyes at him. “Yeah, I do know what boarding school is like. But we never played poker”

“Okay what did you play then mister wise guy?” Oscar's tone was off, like he was trying to accuse Lando of something.

Lando's face went blank, and you could tell he was going through the options one by one, not wanting to say any of them out loud.

“I can't remember?” he tried.

Oscar scoffed in disbelief and you decided to intervene.

“Right, are we playing then?”

“Gladly” they both muttered in sync.

You weren't naive. You knew exactly what boys got up to in boarding schools.

You'd been to an all girls boarding school yourself, and had your fair share of... experiences.

But both of them seemed to be a bit embarrassed about theirs as they settled in their seats like big birds that had just gotten their feathers ruffled.

The game went just about as well as expected.

Lando ended up in his boxers after only 3 rounds, while you and Oscar hadn't taken a single item of clothing off.

His nipples pebbled in the cool conditioned air, and you could see goosebumps erupting all over his skin.

Your eyes scanned his thighs briefly and you gulped. They were thick, and he was in tight black boxers that really didn’t leave much to the imagination.

As enticing as the sight was, it didn't help your concentration.

Oscar was once again dealing cards, and you noticed him side-eyeing Lando a couple of times.

“Are you sure you're not cold, mate?”

Lando shivered but didn't relent in his stubbornness.

“No I'm fine. Besides, I am determined to beat at least one of you”

“You'll be fully naked long before that happens” Oscar chuckled but it sounded hollow.

You also forced out a laugh. Lando naked was the last thing you needed right now.

But with an ace and a jack in your hand, how could you possibly lose?

And you were right. Lando could go all in if he wanted to (and he did) but on the table were a king, a queen, and a ten. And he was a terrible bluffer, he was way too cocky.

Oscar had already folded so it was up to you to get Lando's pants off.

You put your cards down face up.

“Sorry mate, I've got a straight” you said in mock- sympathy. “Someone's getting naked and it ain't me”.

You smirked at him.

“Not so fast” Lando tutted at you and showed his cards.

He also had an ace and a jack.

But they were the same colour as the cards on the fucking table. All spades.

He had a royal fucking flush. The highest hand possible.

Oscar gasped softly.

“Well well well, looks like someone else is taking their shirt off!”

You felt your face heat up immediately.

You only had a T-shirt on.

As in, you only had a T-shirt on.

“Ummm...” you flushed and picked at the edge of the table. “about that...”

You looked at Oscar but quickly averted your gaze when your eyes met.

“What's the matter?” he asked curiously.

“let’s just say that if I take my shirt off, Lando won't be the only one with his tits out”

Comprehension dawned on their faces and they both went fully red.

It all became suddenly very real. It was all fun and games until one of had to actually do it.

“Uh- well you don't have to, you can uhh” Oscar stuttered his way through an excuse “you can take your pants off or- or something. Or like just not do it. It's just a game. No pressure to actually get naked”

You looked at Lando and he smirked.

“If you're not uncomfortable with it you can do it if you want. We're all adults here, we've all seen boobs before, no biggie”

You hesitated. “Oscar?”

“Yeah, yeah whatever you're comfortable with!” his voice was weirdly high pitched but he nodded reassuringly.

You worked up the courage and grabbed the bottom of you shirt, slowly lifting it up over your head.

When your vision became unobstructed again, Oscar was staring at a spot on the ceiling, and the Lando's smirk had been wiped clean off his face.

Despite being your best friend for a long time, he'd never seen you topless, even though (and he would never admit this out loud) he'd fantasized about it many times.

You could tell he was struggling to maintain eye contact with you, his eyes glazing over slightly.

You chuckled nervously.

“It's okay you can look. Like you said they're just tits, right?”

Oscar glanced at them quickly, then did a double take and his adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed thickly and looked away again.

Lando’s mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but his words died in his throat as he also just stared unblinkingly.

It was objectively quite funny how you'd rendered them both utterly speechless.

After a good thirty seconds though, it started getting a bit too weird.

“Okay this is getting creepy now, do you want me to put my shirt back on?”

“No!” they answered wayyy too quickly. “Its fine we're just a bit surprised is all”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay horndogs, shall we get back to it, then?”

They nodded almost absentmindedly, and Lando dealt the cards.

“I'm now determined to get Lando naked to take some of the attention off of me, now” you joked lightly and the other two laughed.

The atmosphere became a bit less charged over the course of the next round, but Oscar was seemingly very much off his game suddenly, because he lost two in a row.

In the name of fairness, he took his pants off, and his black hoodie, so he was still left in a T-shirt that thankfully hid the raging boner he was currently trying to make go down with sheer force of will.

He had an almost naked Lando inches away on his right, and a magnificent pair of breasts in front of him.

How was he supposed to concentrate in these conditions? He was living a bisexual's wet dream.

But he was determined to win, so he dealt the cards.

Lando was getting a bit antsy. He was already pretty turned on by the sight of you, but now, he couldn't stop staring at Oscar's thighs.

They were so thick. He wanted to touch them. Maybe give them a lick and a bite.

His fingers twitched on his lap, where he was trying his best to hide the ever growing problem in his underwear, that was unfortunately not covered by a T-shirt.

But he wanted to touch Oscar's thighs. He wanted to feel the thick muscles under his large hands.

“You doing okay there, guys?” you asked.

The two men in front of you were unconsciously squirming in their seats, doing their best (and failing) to not check each other out.

“Yeah, i'll start at 200” Oscar said, taking a single chip from his enormous pile.

It wasn't his turn, but it didn't matter, none of you were truly focusing on the game right now.

“I'll go all in” Lando said, voice cracking.

Oscar sucked in a breath.

“You sure you want to do that? You've only got one chip left”

“Absolutely” the older man said defiantly, his eyes dark as he stared at you.

A shiver ran down your spine. He was going to lose, you could feel it. He was going to lose and he was going to get naked.

“I'll fold” you muttered.

It was all between Oscar and Lando, now.

“I guess it's all in then”

The atmosphere was tense once again as Lando showed his cards first.

Full house. There was no way Oscar hadn't been bluffing.

“I think you're gonna need to take your shirt off mate” he tried to sound cocky but it wasn't very convincing.

A slow smirk took over Oscar's features, and he grinned evilly at Lando.

He slapped his cards down, face up, and the colour drained from Lando's face.

“Four of a kind. Mate”

You glanced down at Lando's boxers.

There was a small wet patch forming at the front.

Looks like being humiliated was getting him going.

You decided to try and save his dignity, but you knew Oscar had also noticed, if the way he was currently looking at Lando like he wanted to eat him, was any indication.

“You don't have to Lando, if you don't want to”

But his mind seemed made up and he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers.

“No it's fine, a bet is bet” he was very red in the face, but true to his word he pulled his underwear off and let it drop to the floor under the table.

You didn't look. You swear you didn't look.

“You can look guys” Lando said, you could hear the cockiness dripping from his words. He knew what he looked like naked.

“Nope, I'm good” you replied. “Oscar?”

“Yeah, nah I'm good. Shall we keep going?” he asked you with a forced smile.

“Yep, deal the cards, then”

Oscar picked up the cards and Lando whined.

“Wait, I wanna keep playing too” he sounded so pathetic. It made your thighs clench together.

And Oscar noticed.

“Lando you don't have anything left to wager. What are you going to bet? Your skin?” he mocked, but Lando didn't miss a beat.

“I’ve got a mouth. And I don't have a gag reflex”

Your jaw dropped and Oscar choked on his spit.

“Jesus, Lando” you breathed.

But the silence that followed was deafening as everyone seemed to be thinking about it.

You looked at Oscar, who looked at Lando, who looked back at you defiantly.

Well, it seemed this game was taking a turn. But you weren't complaining, and neither was Oscar.

“okay” you and Oscar said at the same time.

He dealt the cards, and you had a particularly shit hand so you folded, almost dissapointed that you wouldn't be winning Lando's mouth.

Lando refused to fold, despite having a shit hand as well, so he lost, naturally.

“So uhh... you want to uhm-“ Oscar gestured vaguely in front of him.

You took pity on Oscar. “You going to put your mouth to good use?” you translated for him, and Lando nodded.

“Yup” he chirped, and promptly dropped under the table. He was so eager, you were starting to think he'd planned this all along, and was losing on purpose.

But no, he wasn't that manipulative.

You could barely see what was going on but Lando dragged Oscar's underwear down and groaned.

Then it was Oscar's turn to let out a pathetic little noise as Lando's head sank downwards.

“Lando, fuck-“ he squeezed his eyes shut, the sudden heat of Lando's mouth overwhelming him. “Your mouth, Jesus Christ”

The sight was quite erotic, Oscar fingers threading through Lando's hair as the obscene sounds sounds of his mouth working Oscar's cock filled the cabin.

Oscar looked down at him with a furrowed brow and his mouth open in shock, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

You certainly couldn't. Oscar had always seemed quite reserved to you, yet here he was, getting deepthroated by your friend, in front of you.

“God, yeah. Take it. Good boy” he lifted his hips to meet Lando's mouth and Lando moaned wantonly around him.

One of Lando's feet knocked into yours under the table, making you look down.

You gasped in shock. Not at how fucking round and peachy his ass looked, although that was worth noting, no, what turned your world on its axis was the fact that Lando was wearing socks.

The absolute whore.

Turns out he was that manipulative.

“Oscar!” You called, and he looked back up at you with lidded eyes.

“Yeah?”

“Lando's still wearing his fucking socks!”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he looked down to where Lando's face was red and covered in drool and tears already.

“Lando...” he let out a shuddery moan “If you wanted us to treat you like a little slut, all you had to do was ask.” He cooed, stroking Lando's tears away.

The older man suddenly did something with his tongue that made Oscar throw his head back and tighten his hold in Lando's hair.

“Christ Lando, where did you lean to do that?” he panted, and Lando pulled off of him for a second to reply.

“Boarding school” he rasped, voice hoarse.

You and Oscar chuckled breathlessly. Of course, stupid question, really.

It didn't take Oscar very long to reach his end with how Lando was swallowing around him, throat tightening rythmically.

You were very wet. Rubbing your thighs together wasn't quite enough so you pulled down your own pants and underwear and slid a hand down your body.

The first touch sent a jolt of electricity through you. You spread your thighs, which caught Oscar's attention, and he gasped and unexpectedly came with a shout down Lando's throat.

Lando, the whore, swallowed every last drop.

His hair was a mess and he turned around, wondering what Oscar was staring so intently at.

The sight of your legs propped up on the table and your fingers pumping in and out of you as your cunt drooled onto the seat made his mouth go very dry.

He crawled over to you under the table and pulled your hand away.

His hungry gaze made your thighs clench, but his large hands came to hold them open as the flat of his tongue licked a long stripe up your soaked folds.

Your hands grabbed a hold of his hair, like Oscar had, and he closed his eyes in bliss.

“Pull it” Oscar said and you glanced at him before doing as he said.

You tugged sharply and the reaction was immediate.

The moan that came from Lando's mouth was downright pornographic, and you grinned, pushing his head down to where you were dripping onto the seat.

He wasted no time lapping up every drop and soon he slid a finger inside you, and then a second one, crooking them upwards and making you see stars.

Turns out Lando wasn't just good with his mouth, his hands were also a goddamn gift to humanity.

By the time you'd stopped shaking with the aftershocks of your orgasm, Oscar was hard again and languidly stroking himself at the sight of you.

Lando stood up, his back cracking after being hunched over for so long.

You properly took him in for the first time. His cock was big, bigger than you'd expected, and his thighs were covered in what you assumed was precum.

You instinctively wrapped a hand around him and swiped your thumb over his tip.

He hissed and batted your hand away.

“I want to see you two fuck” he said, as if that wasn't a totally insane thing to say.

You looked at Oscar, who didn't look opposed to the idea, then back up at Lando.

“What about you?”

He grinned at you mischievously.

“I'm going to watch. And then I'm going to come on those lovely tits of yours”

You blinked up at him and he bent down, sliding a hand under your jaw to tilt your head up.

He stopped, his lips almost brushing yours as he spoke.

“It does hurt a bit. But I really, really want to see my teammate fuck my best friend.” He hooked his thumb over your teeth to press on your tongue, opening up your mouth for him.

“And besides...” he continued “I like it when it hurts”

He pulled away, leaving you completely breathless and more soaked than you'd ever been in your life.

He helped you lie down on the table, and Oscar spread your legs, biting his lip at the sight of your slick covered thighs.

He slid himself through your folds, rubbing your clit and you whined pathetically.

He decided not to tease you too much, and slid home in one go, knocking the wind out of you.

You all moaned at the slick sounds coming from where you and Oscar were joined, and he quickly picked up the pace, his hips slapping against yours.

Lando may have been good with his mouth and hands, but my god, Oscar knew what to do with his hips. Your g-spot didn’t stand a chance.

His abs flexed with every expert roll of his hips, one of his hands planting itself next to your head to hold himself up, the other wrapping around one of your thighs to pull you back against his thrusts.

Whatever poker chips were left on the table were digging into your back but you could barely feel them, you were high on the feeling of Oscar splitting you open on his cock.

Lando couldn't help himself, he turned your head to the side and tapped your lips with his pointer finger.

“Open up, darling. I want to see what you look like with a mouth full of cock”

Yes the line was pretty cheesy, but you stuck your tongue out anyway, and he grinned as he slid his tip along it. He shuddered at the stimulation, and gave an experimental shallow thrust into your mouth.

“Such a good girl... like you were made for it weren't you? Getting stuffed full of us” his fingers danced along your collarbones and you shuddered at the touch.

“So responsive as well...” he looked at your breasts, heaving and bouncing with the force of Oscar's thrusts. He pinched a nipple harshly and you cried out, voice muffled by his cock. “Would you believe me if I told I've dreamt about these quite a bit...”

You rolled your eyes and gave him the middle finger, but he just grabbed your hand and stuck said finger in his mouth and sucked on it.

Heat bloomed in your cheeks at the lewd action, and then he put a second finger in his mouth and shoved them all the way back.

You were going to combust on the spot.

When he pulled his mouth off it with an obscene pop, he looked down at you condescendingly, your mouth still firmly wrapped around his leaking cock.

“Why don't you put those fingers to better use, and make yourself come with them”

You did as you were told and pressed them to your clit, rubbing very slow circles.

Oscar was losing his sanity watching the two of you interact. The bickering, and acting as if he wasn't there, was making him hornier than anything and his hips stuttered as he felt the beginnings of an orgasm creeping up on him.

“Oh come on” Lando drawled, picking up the pace of his own hips “You can do better than that”

You rubbed faster, matching the rythm of his thrusts, and very soon you were thrown over the edge of extasy, back arching and toes curling as you clenched around Oscar.

Lando desperately wanted to hear your pretty moans so he pulled out and finished himself off by hand, on your tits, as promised.

Oscar collapsed on top of you, groaning into your neck as his hips stuttered to a halt, and you could already feel his cum seeping out of you onto the table.

You panted into the now stifling air of the cabin, wondering how the hell you got to this point in your friendship.

Oscar lifted himself off you, and glanced at Lando's cum now smeared over the both of you.

He leaned down and licked a stripe up one of your breasts, over a nipple which made you gasp, and then pulled you in for a filthy kiss.

Fuck it was good. Oscar was a really good kisser apparently. The taste of Lando just added to the depravity of the scene.

Lando felt a tad jealous at that moment. He'd lusted over you for years, and he hadn't even kissed you yet.

You and Oscar parted for breath and you saw the look on Lando's face.

“Oh for god's sake, come here!” you made grabby hands at him and he gladly leant down, capturing your lips in a passion filled embrace, his hands going to cup your face as he deepened it.

The cleanup was a nightmare, but you couldn't walk off the plane naked and covered in cum, so you managed.

You did the best you could with bottles of water and some towels, before getting dressed again, just as the pilot announced he was beginning his descent.

“Well what did we learn today, kids?” you said cheerfully once the three of you were on solid ground “Boarding schools teach you very important life lessons, and Lando-“ you slapped his chest playfully “is much better at poker than he lets on!”

The three of you giggled like children, rolling your suitcases on the tarmac of Nice airport, not hearing the pilot mumbling to himself behind you.

“And I learned today that private jet cabins are no where near soundproof....”

Taglist: @teamnovalak

[callmegaith]

The only thing ineffable bureaucracy showed me is how hyper focused this fanbase is at seeing one thing and one thing only and everything else is a result of that one thing

1) no, Beelzebub and Gabriel are not a straight couple. Nor is Crowley and Aziraphale a gay couple. Stop the non-binary erasure or go outside and talk to an actual non-binary person cuz clearly you have no clue what non-binary is "they're straight presenting" wtf? If you think that please give me your name so I can block you. Cis people, I fucking swear.

Reminder that Beelz used they/them pronouns btw. Sorry that Beelzebub doesn't "pass" for you, it doesn't make them any less non-binary. Not to mention it was stated and already IS CANON that none of them have genders. They're god damn demons and angels, bruh.

2) "it's Gabriel's and Beelz's fault that ineffable husbands didn't get their happy ending": no. It's their own damn fault for not communicating and Aziraphale's inability to accept Crowley as he is. Gabriel and Beelzebub put each other first. Y'all sound salty as hell cuz two people managed to work their relationship out and yours didn't work out. "But if they didn't get together---" y'all really saying shit like this??? Do you hear yourself? That's so sad. Wishing for the doom of one LGBTQ+ ship cuz the other fucked themselves over. THEY CAN BOTH CO-EXIST. And you know what? They will. Cuz Ineffable husbands is clearly canon, the story just wants time with them cuz they're the main characters, not like Beelz and Gabriel who were side characters so had their story summarized.

3) "that should have been ineffable husbands" no, cuz Crowley and Aziraphale aren't Gabriel and Beelzebub. They're different characters with different backgrounds, personalities, relationship structure, and different relationship dynamic in general. They'll get together in a way that fits THEM. And that way requires ups and downs that makes them finally understand that they're perfect for each other without the need for either of them to change.

4) Gabriel was such an asshole wish Crowley got his revenge and--- bla bla BLA : Crowley was happy for them. You hold a grudge over Gabriel that Crowley himself doesn't. Y'all worse than a literal demon. Smh.

Be happy for what we got and look forward to the future where ineffable husbands will certainly become canon and it'll be worth the wait. Don't tear down the LGBTQ+ presentation we got just cuz the main ship didn't get the limelight THIS TIME.

Let things cook, that's how writing WORKS.

But I'm just an Agender demi person and tbh? I would prefer if things took their time.

I love both ships a lot but I'm not gonna hold pitchforks over one ship getting a happy end and one still developing. Come next season, that happy end for Gaberiel and Beelzebub might not last. We DONT KNOW. Do we really need to sacrifice one for the other? Why can't we be happy to have both?

Just really think the vibe of the fanbase rn fuckin SUCKS and I'm not enjoying trying to go through the ineffable bureaucracy tag and seeing people complaining about how it should have been ineffable husbands or how it's their fault.

Okay? Alright.

After this imma start blocking ppl I swear. Just had to throw in my two cents.

[productofaritual]

you 🫵 c!tommy headcanons/thoughts

(/nf)

Me? >:D

Can I be sooooo fr rn. I don't actually think about c!Tommy all that much (come at me w your pitchforks ctommy stans, I can already hear you booing). Don't get me wrong I love the guy, but like my brain just doesn't focus on him all that much

WITH THAT SAID. I STILL GOT HCS

- He's aroace. That's a fairly popular one but God do I love it. The kid who always boasts about having so much game. He doesn't have any. But it's not because he's incompetent (ok maybe a little) but just because he's aroace and doesn't actually WANT game. Also I imagine he went to Techno for help when he realized how he felt and they had some tea and a very nice talk

- Are the clingy bandanas canon? If not then that. If yes then I must add, c!Tommy wears his on his wrist because when it's around his neck it feels like he's choking

- He makes little clothes for Shroud. He actually gets pretty good at it and has a chest for all the little dresses and stuff he makes. Nobody else knows about it.

- Posted about it on Christmas, but he absolutely SUCKS at gift wrapping. Like it's so bad. He refuses to use gift bags as well. Everyone just has to dig through mountains of tape and wrapping paper. (This one may have been a bit of projecting from me but shhhhhhhhhhhh)

[dekusleftsock]

Hi! I wanted to talk a little bit about something that pissed me off, so if you dont want to deal with that then feel free to ignore the ask! There are mentions of SA.

I accidentally ended up seeing this anti toga post that talks about how she is terrible queer representation using 1. the loving animals line and 2. her killing others because of her impulse.

Basically they argue she is a sexual predator as killing would be like being denied to have sex with her or a representation of her SA others, and that the resolution seems to be feeling sorry for her and giving her what she wants, and that it leaves queer ppl in a bad look as sexual predators and even zoophilic (them saying they already had a bad vibe from the intro of the little bird?? Thinking its directly sexual confirmed by these leaks). Im so angry at this.

I think its clear Toga feels confused about what love means, as she says she loves many people but its clear every single one of them makes her feel and act differently -she doesnt love Jin like she loves Tsuyu, or the bird, or Stain, or Deku, or Uraraka.

Is it so strange to think she can be confused about it WHILE being queer?? Also seeing her love as a sex driven impulse is weird in my opinion -yes blood and cannibalism r used this way in media but she's not looking for sex ever, just to be liked and loved.

I swear I have seen yandere characters get a better treatment than her even when they end up causing more harm without reasons backing them up even.

What do you think of that perspective?

So I actually think that the zooiphile thing actually adds to the queer allegory. No i dont think toga wants to fuck animals and no I don’t think that’s she’s ACTUALLY a zooiphile.

But I do think that the REASON horikoshi made her that way is because… zooiphilia is a dirty thing that people don’t like to talk about. Toga is the same; she’s the dirty conversation her parents don’t wanna have.

And she’s attracted to blood! I don’t think that she wants to date or have sex with a bird or something, just that she’s attracted to it because it has blood and she can’t change that. I don’t think togas love is misplaced or anything, in fact I think she’s got the best handle on her love at all. I think that she just generally uses the very forward term of “love” for everything because that’s just how she is. A forward, blunt, and extreme person. She’s exploding with feelings even different types of love!

Personally, I’m surprised to see all these toga haters randomly appearing out of the wood work—and it’s probably because she’s actually got a chance with Ochako. It just surprises me yk, like people either didnt really care for her before or they thought she was a cool villain. Now that she’s herself and NOT a cool villain… you all suddenly wanna chase her down with pitchforks? Hm. Interesting.

People LOVE a queer tragedy; and toga is in the perfect situation to be one. Togas boob grab wasn’t even intended to be predatory/sexual towards ochako, she was angry and using it to grip onto her and stab her repeatedly. It was a symbolic way to describe Togas feelings of “becoming a real villain”, or in the sense of the allegory, “becoming a real queer predator”. The fact that people have taken this and actually made it about her BEING a queer predator is SO IRONIC!

Also… sucking blood doesn’t equal sex what. It’s intimate in the way kissing is intimate, it was literally compared to it.

(I TOOK A BREAK WHILE WRITING THIS AND FOUND THAT EXACT TAKE AND… WOW. WOWZA. QUITE THE STATEMENTS THERE BUD.)

ANYWAY… monsters and vampires and the horror genre as a whole has ALWAYS been queer, it’s always been about being deviant and exploring topics like cannibalism and, yes, zooiphilia, because we CAN TALK ABOUT THEM. GUYS ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. Toga isn’t fucking animals, she’s not pretending she’s in relationships with animals, she’s vaguely attracted to them.

I saw this yt video a while ago talking about this whole Twitter debate about whether zooiphilia was as bad as eating animals. And personally, I’m not vegan or vegetarian, but it’s something I never really thought of before. And he brought up a good point that originally went to my head when I heard this question asked!

My thought was “Well zooiphilia isn’t natural, but eating animals is”. Well, being a PARASITE is also natural, we naturally want to consume, we naturally want to be selfish, and the fact that we have the foresight and intelligence to STOP ourselves from being those things is important for our survival. And there’s a ton of other arguments to be made and points to be had, but really, we should be able to ASK THOSE QUESTIONS AT ALL! We should be able to confront those things instead of shunning it away and putting it in a little box we aren’t supposed to talk about.

I just think anyone who is trying to label toga as “bad queer representation” or as a “sexual deviant/predator that Ochako is afraid of” have other biases/reasons to believe those things. That, or they have a very narrow mindset that doesn’t allow them to question the morality of cannibalism or any unconventional love for that matter. Unconventional ideas at all tbh.

I BELIEVE IN CONSENTING TO YOUR BODY BEING EATEN WHEN YOU ARE DEAD! I FEEL LIKE THAT SHOULD BE AN OPTION LIKE DONATING YOUR BODY TO SCIENCE!

Jeffrey Dahmer went crazy because he was eating people raw a lot of the time, and also he was just generally fucking crazy and a bad person. How about we consent to your body being eaten!

[captainhattersvoyagerstuff]

Caretaker Part 2

This is the continuation of the review started here

Scene 10 Hoedown from Hades

The crew finds themselves in the middle of some kind of Southern hoe down. I'd like to say these no longer exist, but I'm from Texas, so I can't. Everyone gets out their tricorders. They aren't in Kansas, thank goodness.

I told you there would be an evil corn on the cob lady

Turns out they are actually on the array but for some reason, they are stuck in this holographic hoedown from hell with pushy holograms that are programmed to entertain them or something. I don't quite know what the alien responsible was thinking, or the writers. This old lady comes out screeching for people to eat her damn corn on the cob! It's bizarre. Fabulously bizarre.

A girl grabs Tom's arm because even holograms know that Tom is easy. And she's like, let's go in this dark barn to Tom and Harry. And then pitchforks show up (this was bound to happen) and it turns out this was just the waiting room for the fun stuff.

That's actually a giant needle about to pierce Harry's chest.

Scene 11: Aliens experimentin'. Ain't it always the same?

The fun stuff is the crew hanging from these meathook like things while needles go down into their chests and they scream. Harry has the best scream. Janeway's scream sounds like something altogether different is happening.

After they are properly vaccinated against weird, the crew reappears on the ship. Everyone except poor Harry. The Delta Quadrant and apparently the writers hate Harry Kim.

Scene 12: Janeway Meets Chakotay

Janeway contacts the Maquis ship and Chakotay wonders why she knows his name and buddy are you ever in for it. Turns out the Maquis were taken earlier by the same entity and they are missing a crewman too, B'Elanna Torres. She suggests they work together, so three Maquis guys beam over.

"Oh, yeah, I was spying on you all this time." Great intro Tuvok!

Tuvok immediately goes over to Janeway's side and Chakotay realizes he's been betrayed and then he sees Tom Paris who also betrayed him and he's ready to beat the crap out of Tom. These guys have some intense rivalry that will no doubt continue through the show. But Janeway just stands right in front of of this big terrorist guy and barks at him to lay off, and he listens. If I had a tenth of that woman's presence, I'd have my own cult by now.

Oh, and notice the guy in the goofy vest in the background. That's Ayala. This guy was an extra on this show more than any other extra on any Star Trek show but he only gets a name once, and a few words of dialogue, so people use him in fanfic a lot. I didn't realize before that he appears so much so I'm officially declaring a "Where's Ayala?" hunt for this series.

Scene 13 The Banjo guy

Janeway, Tuvok, and Chakotay beam down and run into an old guy playing a banjo and who thought this up? It turns out banjo man is a powerful alien who used his great powers to yank ships light years away randomly to his front door.

Notice how Janeway glares down at him and gives orders while the supposed terrorist Chakotay sits down at eye level and tries to reason with him. I love this show.

Scene 14 You thought your hospital stays were bad

B'Elanna Torres and Harry Kim wake up in a hospital room with boils all over them in an underground area where these Ocampan people live. Some of their doctor guys come in. Half-Klingon B'Elanna immediately tries to kill him and gets restrained.

Guys, meet B'Elanna!

So yeah, sucks to be them, but at least there are no banjos there.

Scene 15 Janeway talks with long lost spy bud, Tuvok

Tuvok, the most sarcastic and thus the best Vulcan ever, and Janeway talk.  Janeway laments about Harry.  His parents apparently tried to send him his clarinet.  I’m betting they had lunchables for him too.  Janeway promises to get everyone home. Umm.

Scene 16 Neelix.

Voyager meets Neelix.  I realize some people really like him but most of the time he annoys me so, so much.  He is on a ship picking up debris and wants water.  But he can help them find their missing people!  Don’t do it Janeway! Don't let him on the ship!

Neelix already knows the plot.

Janeway does it.  Poor Tuvok is embraced by Neelix.  Tuvok will continue to be harassed by this guy for 7 seasons.  How he didn’t eject him into space and claim it as an accident I'll never know.

Tuvok, my man, this is just the beginning.

Scene 17 Fun in Ocampaville

Back with Ocampa Kim and Torres are told that the Caretaker sent them there. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with them and calmly say that they're going to die. They don't take it well.

Hey, no need for frowny faces!

They give them this slop and tell them to watch the nature screen.  They don’t even have cable. The Caretaker sucks but the Ocampa like him because he helped them out by making them an underground city. This happened after "The Warming" turned their world to desert.  Warming? Whatever could they be referring to?

We're now into the next episode of the pilot. I swear the other reviews won't be so long.

Stay tuned for our wacky baddies, the Kazon! Also, Neelix in the bathtub!

[lumiereandcogsworth]

1 3 8 13 and 16 for Adam 🫶🏻

thank youuuuu i talked too much because that’s My Boy so it’s under the cut now hahah

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? i like so MUCH about this boy!!!!!!!

i love how ridiculously hopeless and stubborn he is at the beginning. he hardly even cares that belle is there at first, she’s more a nuisance than anything.

i love that first moment when you see how truly scared he really is. after he sees belle in the mirror, the reflection returns to a regular mirror and he sees himself, sees the monster that he still is, and you just see how scared he is!!! he looks at the rose and he’s just!!! aahhh!!🥺🥺🥺 he wants to be freed, it’s just so hard for him to Try And Change.

i love how nerdy he is :3 like i just said this in a recent post but GOSH making him a pretentious asshole about books was just the most incredible thing the live action writers did to improve him. i LOVE how much of a nerd he is, and how suppressed it’s been his whole life!! i mean i don’t love that for him but it makes for a compelling character!! he’s been forced into such a specific box all his life and belle is the first person to be like “hey what if you just like. existed how you wanted to. i do it and it’s kinda fun :3” and he’s like “but everyone ridicules and bullies you” and she’s like “yeah, but i’m free.” (i don’t think they have this dialogue i think this is just like. the vibes exchanged between them. the sort of revelation that belle’s presence gives adam. anyway) i love the nerd boy

i love how DEEPLY he feels his emotions. like gosh when he’s sad, HE IS SAD. when he’s happy, HES SO HAPPY. he’s just so extreme all the time and i love it. especially with the way he loves!!! he’s so protective and worries so much about belle (and later their children) because he just loves them so so much. he can’t fathom anything happening to them. they’re his whole world 😭 he’s just… such a sweetheart🤧

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character? i am wracking my brain on this one bro. i actually saved it to answer last and i Still have nothing. i’m a canon girlie!! i love canon!!! canon is beloved to me!!! like sure it sucks that his mother died when he was a child?? or sucks that it’s very implied that his father was cruel and probably abused him?? but i still wouldn’t say those are least favorite because they make up who adam is! scars and all! demons and all! he’s a very sad and damaged little guy and he needs lots of love and hugs and kisses (enter: belle) but i don’t think there’s anything that is least favorite ?? i do always find his little Nest™️ in the corner of his room a little like… yikes 😬 but it also equally makes sense that he stopped sleeping in his own bed. the way his body is as a beast it probably Was more comfortable to sleep curled up on the floor 🤷‍♀️ so again it’s like!!! there’s a reason for everything!!! i don’t know the karma taylor swift lyrics but that’s me with canon. canon is my boyfriend, etc. etc.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise? HOW MUCH FUCKING TIME DO YOU HAVE. the fandom does two very specific things that makes me want to grab my own torch and pitchfork and burn the place to the GROUND. the charges against the “fandom”:

refusing to call him by his name

wishing he’d remain a beast

*bangs gavel* the sentence? jail for one thousand years.

no but seriously why is everyone so stupid about my boy, hm? why is it so difficult to understand. i realize they don’t say his actual name in the movies, but disney has very much confirmed that adam his name. like why ? ? don’t you want him to have ? ? a name ? ? oh i’m so glad you asked. it stems to the second charge. they far prefer him to remain a beast (in the form that he hates, in the form he was punished to be in, in the form that prevents him from ever being human again, ever truly getting a chance at a normal life where he can be a good man) people prefer him to remain a beast and therefore DENY him his humanity (you guys remember he was born a human, right? you know this isn’t shrek, correct? okay just checking) and force him to be a monster.

LOOK. does belle make him comfortable, make him feel loved, make him see that beauty is found within? yes ! of course ! but no matter how comfortable belle makes him feel in his skin, this is Not The Form He Would Ever Choose To Remain In. i think people genuinely forget he was born a human. like for real i think that’s the main issue. they think we’re watching shrek. guys it’s not shrek. he’s a human being trapped in a body that isn’t his. i’ve seen a post by a trans person who connected with him because he was like “yeah being in a body that doesn’t feel like your own fucking sucks!!! i’m glad he got to be freed and be himself!!!” anyway, don’t know why everyone fails to understand such a simple concept. but i’m done here. WHEW. constantly angers me. i’ve lost count of the amount of people i’ve blocked for making some dumbass comment about favoring him in beast form or some shit. it’s why i don’t even really consider myself in the fandom because the “fandom” is filled with lunatics for some reason. ANYWAY !!!!!! moving on!

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? okay in modern au i think he’s absolute rubbish at emojis. belle uses them constantly but adam never does, besides the occasional classic red heart ❤️ when he’s feeling particularly affectionate while texting belle or their kiddos. in terms of symbols and such, hmm. someday i’d really love to design his family crest. i also headcanon that maurice designs their OWN family crest that combines his and adam’s family crests. i’d love to design all these crests!!!! but anyway. i think adam is very cat-coded, so i think there’d be a big cat somewhere on the crest, like a lion. i think his wax seal stamp is just a really fancy AB (Adam de Beaumont) with some swirly flair around it. when i think of adam i think of books and maps and telescopes and the moon and cherry blossoms and clothes, he loves his clothes :3

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character? i don’t really think i have a least favorite ship! like, in my mind, you either follow canon and ship him with belle, his true love, his beloved darling, OR you deviate from canon and have some fun shipping him with others! i’ve always been a canon ship kind of girlie so while i don’t Entirely understand shipping him with others, it’s also like, you do you 🤝 i don’t particularly hate any other adam ships, they’re just not my cup of tea! but i get it like, he’s a cool character to ship with. i like dabbling in his past, pre-canon relationships every now and then myself. and that’s fun because he’s a different sort of man than he is with belle, but you can still see the little nuggets of true adam even in the early days. anyway i’m not the shipping police i’m just here for my blorbos. i care way more that we see eye-to-eye on the Treatment of adam, rather than who he’s paired with.

character asks!

[candyskiez]

potentially hot/unfair take I just hate belos redemption fics on principle. there is probably someone out there who is trying to write an actually good nuanced one but legitimately how do you do it. he's a horrible person who chooses to be irredeemable and that's the point. he was not born evil but he chose to become it because he couldn't accept he was wrong.

aus where the caleb murder never happened? I find those somewhat interesting but only read them/talk about them with people who I know aren't. Yknow. but anything else? girl what.

like I love love LOVE belos BECAUSE he's so fucked up and horrid in such a nuanced and realistic way. he is the perfect depiction of how irl bigots think and justify their horrific actions. that's why he's so fascinating to me. so I guess I'm predisposed to not liking fics that redeem him. I like him because they show his feelings while also portraying him as someone who chose not to be redeemed. I like him BECAUSE he's so horrific and terrible and unforgivable and thinks of himself as a tragic victim. so I guess it's no wonder why I just don't vibe with redemption fics.

and like, good belos aus? ehhh. not my thing but I won't raise a pitchfork over it. I just do not Get belos redemption fics because I cannot think of anyway to make them not apologizing for his behavior. I dont get why people would redeem him when hes such a fantastic and important villain. he just works so much better as a terrible evil dude with nuance. and also there are so many people who write belos redemption fics who make EVERYONE ELSE the problem that just leaves me predisposed to distrusting any belos redemption fic that lands on my door. like genuinely I've tried to read one just to see HOW the person was trying to handle it amd like "okau what goes through redemption arc truthers heads I might as well learn before I shit on em" and it was so "belos is a wonderful person who's misunderstood actually" and I just could not vibe with it man. you missed the point of the show congration. I Cannot. I am out of juice. I am a juiceless individual and i cannot read a fic about someone who attempted genocide getting a uwu sad boy arc I sincerely apologize.

and the thing is I am a pessimist with shows. I assume they'll suck way too often. like it is a genuine problem. and even in my pessimistic asshole tomfoolery I never thought belos would get a redemption arc. because in my mind, why the hell would he? that didn't make sense. he clearly didn't want a redemption. so why would he be given one?

I dunno man it just doesn't make sense lmao

[theeternalhost]

i was having fun at the waterslide when suddenly i noticed a big shadow covering the entire pool i looked up and there i saw him, Ardiis. He was coming straight for me, he jumped into the pool and the velocity of the wave that followed knocked me unconcious.

When i woke up i was chained in a cold and dirty room and there he was, streaming the popular shooter game VALORANT on Twitch while talking to his chat, somehow he managed to say the word "bro" 254 times in just 3 sentences how is that even possible?? I quickly realised that the chains were actually made of chocolate, confused (and mainly hungry) i started licking and sucking them as fast as i could and managed to crawl out of the room -that i presumed was probably his mothers basement- while remaining unseen.

I searched around the house for an exit and i quickly found the front door. As soon as i exited the building i saw a horde of angry Brazilians holding blowtorches and pitchforks chanting at ardiis and calling him a racist and a loser. I didn't really care so i tried to get out of the scene as soon as possible but just as i was about to step out of the house, ardiis put his enormous hand on my shoulder and whispered with a soft and melodic tone in my ear "You're not going anywhere pumpkin pie" and "Daddy's gonna take care of this swifly". He stepped out of the house and suddenly yelled "WATCH THIS" as he flamboyantly dashed into the air and suddenly made 5 knives materialise around him. He used the knives to effortlessly tap every single brazilian in the area.

I was so afraid, blood was spilled everywhere. When it all was over ardiis looked in my direction and i knew that it was over, if they didnt stand a chance, then i wouldnt either, so i just gave up. Ardiis started walkingin my direction each step making the ground shake. When he got to me he just sat down on me saying that i got cold and he needed to warm me up. After a while he took me inside the smelly basement again and took his clothes off. He started smelling me and licking my ear, and then he suddenly got very embarrased and told me i can just leave.

Turns out that this was a huge misunderstanding, this whole time he thought that i was a chocolate egg and he wanted to eat me. The disappointment on his face when he realized the mistake he had done was palpable, a tangible testament to the depth of his sorrow.

I hate you people deep within the depths of my soul.

[sarahsmi13s]

lucky... i'm doing this because i know it'll be long and you get my real time reactions

first i love janet <- don't make me regret it

second, fuck george and not in the fun way

"I will personally make sure you'll get a pitchfork up your ass"

wow, i relate so much to janet in this moment...

"Ma and Dad won't be thrilled about him dating some girl they've never met"

it's not their damn business, they don't give a shit about what jake actually wants. they think jake is too incompetent to make good decisions, which is why his life was planned out for him before it ever started. so fuck them and their upturned nose opinions

and i still love janet... please let me have this one

----

bob knows what's up and that tyler is the most psychotic piece of shit in the damn world

okay and rooster, you haven't said anything yet, but you open your mouth i will punch your teeth so far down your throat

fucking suck it rooster, liz wants jake not you because you're gonna make some fuckin comment that's unwarrented so sit your ass back down

shut your jealous ass up rooster, this isn't fucking about you

----

AH SHE'S AWAKE

SADIE BUG

wait sadie... no lil bug please don't cry...

this isn't your fault baby, and it's not liz's fault either

and i love that sadie was able to calm down and narrow down the true perpatraitor -> the icky man whose name is a waste of brain power to think about

aaahh the little banter about sadie being his wingman, oh i love her so much

----

okay... bradley's here... let's see how this goes

oh get over yourself, like look i get you're worried, but liz and sadie's relationship with jake is -and say it with me- NOT ABOUT YOU

i get that he said some out of line shit, but as liz said -- they don't know him like you do

the jake they've seen has gone above expections set by you, rooster, so it's obvious that they're not gonna feel the same way you do about him

stop worrying about what he might do and just be there if does do it, without the fucking 'i told you so's and the 'why didn't you listen's

just be the brother figure you claim to be

----

wisdom comes with experience jake... and while i'm glad you've been that shoulder for liz, the one to truly push her to not bottle up her feelings... it's sad that you say you have experience with it...

----

icky icky icky

fuck jake's dad and fuck melaine

yes jake, sass him, don't let him ruin your happiness

you know what 'hell-bringer' i'm about to shove all that shit you shovel into your own mouth

and the fuck you talking about 'tradition'? a tradition of being a shitty ass parent? tradition of being washed up in your hometown because you couldn't actually make something of yourself?

and you think liz is gonna ruin the family name? oh get a shit load of this, asshole, i bet your father would say the same fucking thing about you. cause at least he gave jake a fucking choice.

get the fuck out of here you waste of texas land

Damn Those Dog Tags: Part 12 - Blue Healer

📜... so... about Sadie... 🫣👀

I just want to thank you again for all the support on this story. It's so strange to believe we are halfway to the end! Thank you to each and everyone one of you who take the time to read, comment and reblog!

Also, It's my b-day tomorrow! 🥳So this one is a little longer!

❗+18, strong language, godmother reader/original female character, original child, shitty family dynamics, hospital settings, hurt child, Angst, conversations about grief, this is a sad one!

#7k Words

Part 11 | Masterlist | Part 13

Jake had been standing in his kitchen, counting down the minutes before he could pick you up for your second date, when he had the sudden urge to call Janet.

She answered on the fourth ring. 

"What's wrong? You never call me."

"Well, hello to you too, Janet.

He could hardly blame his sister for the greeting. Whenever he called, it was usually only to tell her he was still alive or if he was being stationed. The last time they spoke, Janet had called to chew him out for not letting her know he had returned home.

"Who did you murder, or where are they sending you off next?"

Jake smirked into the phone. "Can't I ask my pregnant sister how she is doing?"

"Fine," she replied shortly. "Pregnant. Putting up with our shitty family."

She sighed loudly, continuing, "What's happening in your world, Little Brother? Still kicking ass up there?"

"Damn straight," he remarked. "How's the Bean?"

"Due any day now, Thank god. My bladder has shrunk to the size of a pea.

Jake shook his head fondly. "You still don't want to know?"

"Nope, absolutely not," her voice was firm. "Ma keeps coming up with baby names, and the hell-bringer thinks we are naming it after him because he brought me into this world," she made a gagging sound. "This way, they can't convince the hospital of whatever name they want."

"I wouldn't put it past them," Jake said aloud, leaning against the wall beside his fridge.

It was an unspoken rule between himself and Janet that they wouldn't refer to their father as anything other than 'the Hell-Bringer." Janet had started calling him that one day out of the blue, and it had stuck ever since.

"When is Bean going to have an aunt to go with their new uncle?" she whined. "Janet," he sighed.

"What?" she cried out. "You're my last hope. George can't even hold a relationship, and Melaine will have no interest once this thing is born."

Jake grimaced. "He and Stacy didn't make it past the three-month mark?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Stacey? He was with Sarah."

"Oh," Jake replied, sensing he knew precisely what happened in that regard, Janet catching on with a disappointing sigh. "Dammit, George."

There was silence on the other end, and Jake decided it was time to admit the reason behind his call.  "Actually, I might be seeing someone."

Janet drew in a sharp breath. "Seeing someone? As properly dating seeing someone? Not the bed them and ditch them the type of dating?"

"Janet."

"Oh my god, you know I joke about it, but I cannot believe someone actually decided to date and put up your annoying ass," she remarked.

"I could say the same about you and Ian. He practically had to force the ring on your finger."

"We aren't talking about my love life here, Jacob," she challenged. "Now, tell me. Who is she? Is it Elizabeth?"

Jake remained silent, his hand coming up to stroke the back of his neck. "Shit," she gasped. "You finally made your move. God help her."

"Janet."

"I can't believe you did it."

"What makes you say it's Liz?"

She scoffed. Jake could picture her standing in the farmhouse kitchen, leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed. "I'm not an idiot. I know my brother. You've never spoken about anyone the way you do about Elizabeth. And her niece."

He would be lying to himself if he didn't admit it each time Janet called. He almost always spoke about you and Sadie. And Janet would press and ask her questions. Looking back on it now, she probably knew something long before he did.

"It's early days, Janet."

"I'm happy for you, Jake," he could hear her smile through the phone. "I really am."

"Can you not.." he started to say before Janet interrupted him, calling out, " Do I want to see you killed? Absolutely not. Who do you think I am?"

Before Jake could reply, another voice on Janet's end startled him."What's this I hear about little Jakey getting himself a girlfriend?"

Jake thumped his head against the wall. "Fuck, is that George?"

"When I leave the front porch to take a phone call, it clearly means I want to be alone, George."

George's voice was muffled through his phone speaker as Jake caught his reply, "How long do you think it will be before she dumps him? I give it a week."

"Not your circus, not your monkey, asshole!" Janet called out.

"Come on, Janet. The black sheep of the family doesn't date. I might have to fly out to California and see this mystery woman with my own eyes. Or has Jakey's imaginary little friend from middle school come back?"

There was a scuffle on the other end of the line, and Jake thought he heard George yell out pain before he suddenly shouted, "Fuck Janet, let me go!"

Jake knew what she was doing to him. He had been on the receiving end of it countless times enough to know George would be bent over, Janet with a tight grip on his ear and tugging down hard. He couldn't help the grin on his face.

"You say anything about this to Ma or the hell bringer or even think about flying down to California, I will personally make sure you'll get a pitchfork up your ass," he heard her seethe at him. "You ruin this for him, pregnant or not, I will do it."

There was no way in hell Jake would ever entertain the idea of George visiting him here, let alone meet you or Sadie. It wasn't that he didn't trust you, you clearly could handle yourself, and Sadie was no different.

But George had a way of tainting everything good in his life. He had been compared to his brother for things he should have done better for most of his life.

Despite his words, Jake couldn't help but tease his brother, knowing he could hear him. "I'd listen to her, Georgie. Janet and pregnancy hormones ... not a good mix."

"I'm just teasing him, Janet."

"I dare you to say that one more time."

"You know as well as I, Ma and Dad won't be thrilled about him dating some girl they've never met."

"So shut your trap, never speak about this, and get your ass to the barn. Ian needs help with the haybales," she fumed.

There was a scuffle, and then Jake thought he heard the ranch back door close shut before Janet sighed into the phone. "Some days, I wonder if he really is our brother."

"Jan, if he tells them..."

"Forget about what's happening back home. I'll take care of it," she said, trying to calm Jake down. "When are you seeing her again?"

"Tonight. I've got something planned, but I don't know how Liz will take it." If he timed everything perfectly, as he had discussed with Maverick, the two of you should make it just before sunset.

"Don't tell me my fearsome navy pilot brother is nervous?" she teased him. When Jake didn't reply, Janet took pity on him. "It's cause you like her, you idiot. It's a good thing."

Jake let out a soft chuckle.

"Let me know how it goes, okay?"

After saying their goodbyes, Jake picked up the keys Maverick loaned him and decided he might as well arrive early and wait with you.

Little did he know it then, it was a good thing he did.

---

This small hospital waiting room had clearly never seen the likes of an entire squad from Top Gun gracing its mismatched seats. They were used to this, sitting in uncomfortable chairs, the long-standing hours of hearing no news, the apprehension of slight dread hanging over their heads.

This was different from those situations, though. Not the 'No New, is Good News' kind of thing. Some of the Squad's faces were etched in worry, others stoic as they tapped nervously on the armrests of their chairs.

Jake didn't pay them much mind, wanting to punch something or pace the room. You hadn't said a word to him when he placed Sadie into your arms, kneeling next to you, still mindful of putting pressure on her head. Or when the paramedics arrived, and you forced yourself to hand her over, when he pulled you back into his arms as they worked. Or when you climbed into the back of the ambulance.

"Please tell me you at least got one punch in," Rooster asked, head in his hands as he sat across from Jake.

Jake didn't bother looking up, hunched over in his chair, knowing Bradley was referring to the state of his face. The bruises had set in, the cut on his lip still undressed, and even the nurses at the front desk were urging him to be admitted.

"One," he admitted after a second before sighing. "But not with Sadie watching."

Bradley nodded absentmindedly. While he was pleased with the answer, deep down he wished he hadn't let Tyler go. Jake sat back in his chair, his mind pondering what you told him.

"Tyler ran her sister off the road during that storm."

Sitting next to Jake, Nat sharply turned her head at the mention of Ridley. "What?! He killed her?!"

Jake nodded. "Liz wasn't specific, but putting the pieces together, Tyler's father is running for some electoral bid."

Bob pipped up from his seat beside Nat, filling in the gaps. "So the attempt to kidnap Sadie was some PR save?"

Nobody replied to him. It was obvious his question was rhetorical. And nobody wanted to say out loud what had transpired. Knowing Sadie was somewhere in this hospital fighting for her life was enough. 

Mav came and sat next to Bradley, sitting in the empty chair next to him. "I called Cyclone. He's calling in a few favours."

"Favours?" Bradley asked. Pete nodded, pocketing his phone. Penny placed a hand on his shoulder from her spot next to him. "He knows an admiral where Tyler's father is running for office."

"God. Cyclone is getting involved," Fanboy remarked from behind Pete. Coyote leaned forward, inquiring, "Why?

Maverick shook his head, not bothering to offer an explanation other than, "When I asked, he said it's Sadie."

Everyone agreed. It was Sadie. And if anyone could have won Cyclone over, Sadie would have been the one to do it. But Jake didn't join in on the conversation, too caught up in the realization even as he fought hard on that beach, he had failed the second Sadie fell. 

Unknown to Jake, he was currently the focal point for Rooster's stare, watching every move he made, every facial expression as each thought and emotion crossed his face. Bradley opened his mouth, ready to ask the question that had been burning in the back of his mind since they had arrived until a voice interrupted him. 

"I'm assuming you're all here for Ms. Beck?" 

 Everyone in the room turned to face an older nurse holding a clipboard. Penny was the first to launch herself out of her chair and step forward to ask, "Is she okay?"

The nurse looked at everyone in the room before glancing back at Penny, "Are all of you family?"

There was no hesitation in the way everyone in the room nodded. The nurse paused before announcing, "Sadie's still asleep but stable."

Everyone collectively sighed at the nurse's words. Then she added, "Elizabeth asked for Sadie's uncle to join her."

Nobody protested when Rooster started to stand. But then the nurse asked, "If I could have Mr. Seresin follow me, she's just back here."

Jake's headshot to the nurse, eyes wide. There was no way you'd want him there, not after she got hurt.

He had been too late.

"Are you sure you got the right person, mam?" he said, looking pointedly at Bradley, who had sat back down in shock and anger. She peered down at Jake from over the top rim of her glasses, a slight smirk on her face. "She said the blonde one."

Jake didn't bother looking back at the group when he stood. He could hear Rooster sputtering when he walked through the back doors and under flickering fluorescent lights. She led him through countless archways and winding halls till she stopped at the door, a police officer stationed just outside in a chair. He gave a tense nod to Jake before returning to his paperwork.

"Stay as long as you'd like," the nurse told him softly. "Your niece is one lucky girl."

He didn't hear her, too focused on your back through the crack in the door. He pushed it open, forcing himself to face you finally.

There was a sombre stillness in the room, Jake hesitating as he stood behind you. Sadie's small figure was engulfed in stark white sheets, multiple different wires snaking around her body. She was pale, and her head had been wrapped in a thick white bandage.

And you, not even turning your head as he came into the room, too focused on counting her breaths and watching the steady beep of her heart rate monitor. Jake couldn't see your face but could tell you were trying to hold in your tears.

He slowly gripped the back of a nearby chair to pull it closer to you, sitting down and placing his hand on top of yours that was squeezing Sadie's hand lightly.

"She has a concussion," you said, still not looking up. "And she lost a lot of blood."

He didn't say anything, deciding to stroke the back of your hand with his thumb.

"They say it could have been worse," you sniffed, wiping at your nose. "Had you not gotten there in time, it probably would have."

You tilted your head back, eyes closed, finally allowing yourself to take your eyes off Sadie for a moment before turning your chair towards Jake without looking up. The thread hanging from a rip in his jeans seemed more interesting than facing him.

But Jake carefully reached up to gently press lightly at the bruise on your cheek. You tilted your head into his touch, the action releasing the pent-up anxiety and emotions you had kept at bay for Sadie since you saw her in Jake's arms. He reached for your waist, pulling you close to the edge of your seat as the first sob crawled up your throat.

"He hasn't been around since Ridley found out she was pregnant. We made sure he couldn't get to Sadie," you sobbed, burying your face in the fabric of his shirt. Jake held you tightly as you cried, "Did I fail her? Did I fail them both?!"

"Don't go there, Liz. You couldn't have stopped him. This is all his doing, not yours."

You opened your eyes to a stain of dried blood near his shoulder, Jake standing on the beach in your peripheral vision coming to mind.

Sitting up sharply, you took in his face, small gasps escaping your lips as you trailed your fingers lightly over his lip, then the darkening bruises. He caught your hand, bringing your fingers to his mouth, "I've had worse."

Lowering your hand, he kissed your swollen wrist delicately. You sniffed, stroking the buzz-cut strains of hair behind his ear. "That doesn't mean you should."

With one glance back at Sadie, you urged him to stay as you stood, quickly going to the bathroom. Her nurse had tried to convince you to let them look at your face. You had vehemently refused, not for one second leaving Sadie alone if you could help it.

Despite your stand-offish attitude, she was kind enough to leave a makeshift first-aid kit, not really knowing the extent of your injuries, in some blind hope, you would take care of yourself. Damping a cloth, you picked up the plastic bag and returning to Jake.

He protested when you reached up with the cloth to dab at his lip. You shot him a look that instantly shut him up. Pressing it lightly against his skin, you urged, "If I don't do something, I will lose it, Jake. Let me take care of you."

Whether it had been bar fights or something else, Jake wasn't used to somebody else taking care of him, flitching as you tried to wipe at his lip, shushing him each time gently. He let you clean up the cut in silence, knowing his eyes were fixed on you as you worked.

And it bothered you, thinking his stare was pity or judgement. But the thing about Jake was you never felt like you had to hide around him. That you never had to put the mask up. But with everything that had happened, with Sadie lying hurt on the bed next to the two of you, with learning Ridley was murdered and Tyler was still out there, you were on the verge of caving hard. 

"Thank you will never be enough, Jake."

His shoulders sagged. "Don't. Not yet," he spoke, turning his head towards Sadie. Your fingers trembled as you worked to peel back the wrapper of a Steri-Strip. 

"I thought you would hate me. Me leaving you like that and Sadie..."

Biting your lip, you carefully placed the strip over his lip before flexing your fingers to take his face into your hands. "How could I hate you, Jake?" you whispered concerningly. "You put her first."

"She still got hurt, trying to stop him." 

It didn't surprise you; Sadie was more courageous than anyone you had ever met. 

"It's not your fault, Jake. It's mine," you stated, nodding your head. "I should have done more. I should have realized sooner it was Tyler. I should have gone to the police and fought harder. Realized that white fucking car was more than paranoia." 

Jake shushed you, placing his forehead onto yours. "You couldn't have prepared for any of this, Liz. Tyler, Ridley... Sadie here and now. You couldn't have known." 

You let out a sob as Jake said, "It's nobody's fault but that asshole's." 

Then you heard it.

"Uncle Jake?"

The both of you shot up from your seats, coming to sit on either side of her bed as she tried to force her eyes open. You shushed her, cupping her cheek as you said, "Sadie? Sweetheart?"

And just like that, she opened her eyes.

You wanted to sob.

"Where am I?" She said to the ceiling before looking at you and closing them again. You tried to hide the tears from your voice as you told her, "You're in the hospital, Bug. You hit your head."

She wiggled on the bed, a groan escaping her lips as she weakly reached up to touch the bandage on her head. "I did?"

Sadie pinched her brow as everything came back to her. The glass breaking, her running, and then the panic she felt at seeing her uncle pinned to the sand.

She cried out in a panic, her eyes opening and shooting towards you, "Uncle Jake! Where is Uncle Jake?!"

"I'm right here, Bug."

She turned to glance at him, her mouth dropping open in shock as she saw the patches of blue and purple covering his face. Then she looked back at you, taking in the darkness of the skin around your eye, making her bottom lip quiver.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, her body starting to shake as she began to cry. "I'm so sorry!"

"Sadie, what are you sorry for? It's not your fault."

But she shook her head, her face riddled in pain as she exclaimed, "He hurt you. The both of you. Because of me."

"No bug, please don't think that," you whined. "It's mine. I should have protected you better. It's never, never your fault. "

You felt Jake place a hand on your back. "Don't play the blame game, Liz. It's not your fault either." 

Sadie's face softened as she absorbed Jake's words. She gasped, trying to control her breathing. "Then it's his fault then. The one who hurt all of us." 

She said it so simply, so child-like, you were scared you couldn't own up to the answer- to an unspoken promise. Yet, you swallowed, nodding with a tense smile. 

"Are we going to be okay?" 

"Yes," Jake answered Sadie's question for you. "I'm going to make sure of it." 

"I'll go get the nurse," you said softly, stroking her cheek one last time before getting up to walk out the door. Jake watched you leave before sliding himself forward to hold Sadie's hand. She smiled at him, squeezing his hand before weakly murmuring, "I heard you."

"What?"

"When you picked me up, I heard you."

"Sadie..."

" I don't care what you're going to say," she croaked. "I'd do it again."

"I can take care of myself, Bug. I'm the adult who needs to look out for you. You don't need to look out for me."

"This is why you have trouble making friends," she pointed out. Jake smiled softly at her before saying, "You're my friend."

"I'm your wingman. We made a promise."

"I don't think we were facing Ursula this time, Bug."

Sadie yawned, turning her head into her pillow as she faintly murmured, "This time, it was the loch ness monster."

"Really?" Jake chuckled lowly, still holding her hand. "Another Sea Monster?"

"You're the one that flies over the ocean. I'm just sticking with the theme."

---

Once Sadie had been given the all-clear, Jake asked if he could bring her anything from home. You handed him your key, too worn out to protest, asking if he could grab the Navy Teddy bear from the fair off Sadie's bed and her overnight bag from Penny.

Each Dagger made the trek to her room, one by one, seeing for themselves that she was alright. Sadie tried to stay awake for each one, fighting off the threat of sleep, till Bradley decided to stay with you in Jake's absence.

Like you, he couldn't stop staring at her as she breathed, only occasionally glancing at the door. Even with the police officer stationed outside, Bradley was acting like a guard dog, always standing between you and the door at all times.

She passed out the minute she was able to, and you couldn't help but worry about what tomorrow would look like when you'd get to bring her home.

"Why was Jake there?" Bradley asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

You regarded him momentarily, wanting to tell him the real reason. But you weren't prepared nor ready for the emotional blowout. And it wasn't the right time or right the place. So you shrugged. "It's the Hard Deck, Bradley. Why do people go to a bar on a Friday afternoon?"

He didn't say anything, his face hard like he was lost in concentration, watching the rise and fall of Sadie's chest. And why you had the urge to suddenly ask him the following question, especially now, of all moments, you had no idea.

Maybe you knew Bradley would be honest with you here and now and wouldn't try to pass you off or find a way to escape it. Or perhaps it was your way of forgetting the weight of all the information you learned today. So in a moment of bravery, you asked, "Why do you hate him so much, Bradley?"

He went to say something, lurching forward with effort, but you interrupted him, "And don't tell me it has to do with some Navy rivalry about who is the better pilot. I know that's not true."

"I am the better pilot," he mumbled under his breath, falling back into his seat.

"You are both equally as good as each other. You just have different means of doing it. But that's beside the point."

He stared at the floor, his eyes wide, as he thought about his answer. Not that you were feeling any better, but Sadie waking up had eased the burden and allowed you to ask somewhat playfully, "Please tell me you don't have a crush on me?"

Bradley's eyes shot up to yours before he made a gagging sound. "Oh, good lord, no. You're like my little sister." His shoulders shook as if a chill had shot down his spine. "Please don't ever put that image in my head again."

You stuck your tongue out at him before looking down at Sadie, a small smile gracing your lips. He shared your smile, not that you noticed, before admitting quietly, "It's Sadie."

You raised your eyebrows at him. "Sadie?"

"Remember the mission we keep talking about? The one that brought us all together?"

You nodded.

"He said something about my dad."

"He told me he did," you admitted, taking in Bradley's pensive stare. "He regrets it, not that it means much after the fact."

His father had always been a sore subject. Sure, he talked about him from what he could remember. Their shared love of music, playing the piano, and the same taste in vacation dad t-shirts. But he always clammed up regarding the accident, his reason for joining the Navy and wanting to fly.

"Jake does not regret anything he's done," Bradley snorted. "You don't know him like we do, Liz. Sooner or later, he's going to do what he does best and leave the two of you out to dry, and I don't want to see you or Bug hurt." 

"Roo," you said softly. He's just proven he won't do that to Sadie." Or me, you wanted to add.

"You have so much faith in him."

You paused, sliding your hand over the blanket on Sadie's bed before replying, "I have faith in all of you. But Hangman, it's different with him."

"How?"

You didn't want to bring it up, especially now. But something in your gut was telling you it was the only thing that would get Bradley to ease up.

"Did I ever tell you why Ridley wanted to become a nurse?"

Rooster shook his head, resting his elbows on the edge of Sadie's bed.

"She believed everyone deserved a chance. That people cared," you said quietly. "Who would I be? What type of guardian would I be for Sadie if I didn't continue that? If I didn't give Jake the same curiosity?"

"I'm just worried you're going to put your faith in someone who will let you down."

"I don't know Jake as you know him. I don't have that history. But Bradley, he just went to bat for Sadie. His face is a walking mosaic. Don't tell me he will leave her, or me, out to dry after that?"

You reached out across her bed, fingers stretching out. Bradley lifted his hand from his lap to hold yours.

"Can you live with the idea that if that happens, it's my mistake to make?" you squeezed his hand once, trying to hide the quiver from your voice as you added, "The world is not perfect, Bradley."

He gave you a sad smile. "Do you want to talk about it? About Ridley?"

You swallowed hard, recoiling your hand back from his touch. "I can't. Not now."

"Liz, you need..." But he was interrupted by a knock at the door. Jake appeared, Sadie's bag in hand and her Teddy bear in the other.

"How is she?" he asked, coming around to your side of the bed and dropping the bag next to your chair.

"Sleeping," you replied softly, watching as he placed the teddy bear in her arms, Sadie curling around the stuffed animal.

A furrow formed between Bradley's brow as he watched the look on Jake's face as he glanced at you. Everyone loved Sadie, there was nothing wrong with the way he had approached her. But you, there was something in Jake's eyes that told him there was something else. 

Jake's eyes met Roosters, a flicker of apprehension flashing across his face, fearing his suspicions had been laid bare. But Jake didn't notice, instead nodding at him, a drawl of "Bradshaw" escaping his lips. 

Bradley stood, ignoring Jake, his eyes lingering on you as he asked, "Can I have your key? I'll run a few errands to make sure your set when you bring her home."

Jake dropped your key into the palm of your hand as you replied, "Bradley, you don't have to do that."

"Liz, just let us help you." 

You placed your house key into Bradley's hand, a reserved look on your face. He looked at you briefly before nodding, walking to the door, pausing, and turning to Jake.

"Hangman."

Jake's eyes followed Bradley out the door before looking back at you. 

"Jake, you don't have to.." You started to say before you caught the stern look on his face, instantly shutting you up. Honestly, the last thing you wanted was to be alone in his hospital room.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not when he can still get to you both."

Every hour a nurse would come by to wake Sadie up. For the first two, you didn't want to do anything but stare at her, unmoving from your chair. Jake was beginning to worry, watching you fight off sleep, swaying forward occasionally only to catch yourself.

The nurse had kindly brought a 'father' bed from the nearby maternity ward and placed it in the corner of the room with a pillow. You hadn't looked in its direction once or even thought about sleeping.

"Liz," he said softly, trying to arouse your attention. When you said nothing, Jake stood, touching your shoulder. You jolted awake, slightly shocked, until you realized it was him. "You need to get some rest."

"She's perfectly safe, and nothing will happen to her."  You shook your head, barely managing to gather the energy to speak. But Jake persisted, trailing his hand down your arm to grasp at your hand. You let him pull you up.

"I can't..."

"You can. She's not going anywhere. Don't worry. I have my eye on her." Jake led you to the corner of the room, making you stand in front of the pullout. He let your hand go to sit down. 

"Come here," He laid back against the backrest, holding out his arm as an invitation for you to join him. You might have fought him more, but you needed comfort with everything that had happened.

But once you settled into his arms, Jake asked you softly, "You want to talk about it?"

You shook your head against his chest, hiding your face. Jake had read you like a book.   "Elizabeth, you can't keep burying your grief."

Your reply was muffled against his chest, "It's not that easy."

"I never said it was easy, but dwelling in your sorrows won't change anything."

Something in the way he said that hit you in your chest, sitting down with no intent to move. The smell of antiseptic making your stomach turn. The longer he sat there with you, the shock of everything reached its boiling point. 

It was too much. 

"What's wrong with me?!" you wailed. "She's been gone almost a year, and I can't even..."

You drew in a shuttering breath at the end of your unfinished sentence. You didn't need to continue, Jake had seen it repeatedly - in the way you would shelter yourself from any conversation to do with her to gripping your arm. Or to how Sadie remarked you hadn't been happy since her mom had passed away.

"I made a promise," you sniffed through your tears. "That the both of us would be strong for each other while we dealt with everything. That we wouldn't cave. But she struggled when I brought her home, and I had to be strong for her. She needed me to be strong for her. She wanted to be strong, and I needed to do the same."

"Sadie isn't going to love you any less because you can't be strong around her. None of us will."

You whimpered at his word. Suddenly, the dam burst open. "I tried. I tried to read the book, I tried talking about her with everyone, with you. Believing I'm fine when I'm not. Saturday nights with everyone, only to run into the kitchen the first chance I get because she's not there." 

You sobbed into his chest. "It's so hard, Jake. Knowing she's not here. That he took her away from us." 

"I know," he spoke into your hair, gripping the back of it. "Healing isn't linear, Darlin'. It's messy, and it takes time."

Something was validating in hearing his words. Something that no longer made you feel like a self-pity dealer. That it was okay for you to feel like this. That there was no mask needed in any given situation. 

Jake, whether he knew it or not, was giving you the permission you so desperately needed to know it was okay to be sad. 

And he let you. He let you cry it out, rocking you back and forth in this hold until you sniff, wiping at your eyes. "When did you get so wise, Jake Seresin?"

“Wise?” He scoffed. “No, darlin', I'm experienced. There's a difference."

Even with your tears, you rolled your eyes. "Why did that sound more sexualized than it should have been?"

"You're the one that went there. I'm just stating facts," Jake grinned. You huffed, pulling yourself closer to his side as a yawn coincided with your quiet laughter.

"Enough with the heavy. You need to sleep." He adjusted his hold on you, fingers threading themselves through the hair at the back of your neck, pulling you deeper into his chest. "I'm watching her."

You snuggled into his side, your hand making a fist gripping his shirt and the ball chain of his dog tags through the fabric. But you were still tense despite your exhaustion, causing Jake to shake you a little in encouragement.

"Relax, I'm not going to bite," He said before softly pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "Not unless you ask me to."

You groaned sleepily into his chest, "Jake."

You fell asleep listening to him chuckle.

---

Jake had driven you both home once the doctor had given Sadie the all-clear later in the evening the next day. Sadie made a beeline to the couch, a long-standing ritual with her whenever she felt poorly, the second she walked through the door. 

 This left you and Jake standing in your kitchen, the moment making you think back to that first Saturday night when Jake had followed you inside with the dishes. The night before the Daggers were deployed.

You could never have thought this would be your future, holding yourself tight, leaning up against your counter, Jake filling your kettle with water, rummaging around in your tea cupboard. You pressed your forehead to his shoulder as he placed it back on its stand, turning to hold you and pressing a kiss to your forehead, not saying anything. He let you take what you needed from him.

The both of you eventually joined Sadie on the couch, watching as she held the remote to the TV, staring at the black screen. For a second, you were scared she would ask to watch Pride and Prejudice. Instead, she asked, "Can we put on The Princess Bride? I know I can't watch, but I'd like to listen."

To any onlooker, the group of you would have been a sight - Sadie with her stitches across the back of her head. Jake with his bruised face, split lip and marked-up knuckles. And you, with your black eye.

Yet, you couldn't have felt safer than huddled on your couch here with them. 

Halfway through the movie, you found yourself with your head lying against Jake's leg. Sadie had migrated from the other end of the couch to in front of you, head buried in your shoulder as she used your arm as a pillow. Even with the knowledge Tyler was still out there, waiting for the next chance to strike again, you passed out knowing there wasn't anywhere else you wanted to be.

It was around 3 in the morning when Jake woke you up, silently urging you to go to bed. You tried to figure out the best way to move without disturbing Sadie until he stood, kneeling next to the two of you and carefully hooked his arms under her body. In her sleep, Sadie snuggled into Jake's chest once he stood.

"Go get ready," he murmured softly. "I'll get her to bed."

You stayed on the couch for a second, watching as he carried her off to her room before sighing and getting up. You forced yourself not to look out your window as you passed it by. 

The bruise around your eye was an unwelcome sight in your mirror as you washed your face and got ready. You found yourself sitting on the edge of your bed, staring at the book on your nightstand, wondering if Jake was going to seek you out.

And then he appeared in your doorway, watching you dangle your legs back and forth. 

"Jake," you said quietly, shame in your tone. "I don't want to be alone."

He pushed himself off your doorframe, kneeling in front of you, between your legs and hands resting on either side. He slid his whole hand up the outside of your thigh, stroking back and forth, attempting to comfort you.

"What do you need, darlin'?" he hushed. "What can I do?"

"Don't leave me?" it was a quiet plea.

Jake reached for your hips, sitting up to press his forehead to yours. You took it one step further, sliding off the edge of your bed and down to the ground in front of him, arms wrapping tightly around his neck. He hugged you tight, head pressing into your collarbone before grabbing the back of your thighs to stand. You clung to him, legs tightly clinging around his waist.

He was next to your bed in two steps, one arm still clutching you while the other swept your covers down. You weren't sure how he could sit down with you hanging on to him, how he turned while holding the covers up and siding underneath them. You never let go as he settled you on top of him, hand stroking up and down your back. 

Then you found yourself seeking out his lips, lightly grazing yours against his. There was nothing overly sexual in how you lightly pressed into him and grazed your nose along his, how you sought him out, lazily kissing him.

You were mindful of his injured lip each time, content to simply be here and now with Jake in your bedroom, his warmth and smell willing you to calm down. There was no objective, no end goal in your actions - after everything that had happened, you needed the assurance, the comfort, him.

From Tyler. From you feeling like a failure as Sadie's guardian because you couldn't prevent outside forces from coming after her. From the burdening grief of losing Ridley, the one you kept shoving aside only for Jake to crack wide open.

And yet, all you could think about was that it might be time to take that first step - even if it is just turning that one page on Pride and Prejudice on your nightstand.

---

Jake woke in the early morning to a rattle from your bedside table. He had let you sleep, doing Sadie's two-hour checks, used to the lack of sleep. 

The both of you had moved, your back pressed tightly against his front. His arm was wrapped securely around your waist, and his nose was buried in your hair. Rolling over, he reached for his phone and spied the unknown caller ID, bringing it up to his ear as he answered.

"Seresin."

"It's about time you answered the phone."

Jake quickly shot you a look over his shoulder before getting up and walking into your hallway, shutting the door gently behind him.

"Wouldn't have answered had I known you were on the other end," he spat, continuing to your kitchen so you wouldn't hear his conversation.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Always taking the easy way out, just like when you joined the Navy. Flying around, pretending to be important while accomplishing nothing of substance."

"I'm assuming you didn't call to put down my choice in career, though that would have been preferable for someone like you." Jake said sarcastically. 

"No, it's not," Jake's father replied snarkily. "I've heard you've been playing house with some girl."

Jake's grip tightened on his phone, anger bubbling beneath the surface. "And how would you know, seeing as you've never taken the time of day to call before now."

"Melaine."

Of course, Melaine would be the one to spill, Jake thought. Always telling other people's secrets and stories so she could watch the chaos afterwards.

"Didn't know my love life was the only source of entertainment down there," he remarked, leaning up against your island.

"Spare me the sentimental crap. A man like you shouldn't be saddled with someone else's burden."

Jaked laughed lowly. "Don't expect me to apologize for my life not fitting into your narrow-minded definition of what a man should be."

There was a monetary pause on the line. Jake's father let out a bitter chuckle. "Oh, so you're a saint now, huh?" he replied mockingly. "Trying to play the hero? Just like your grandfather, right?"

Jake didn't say anything, staring down at your floor. 

"You think you can be that kid's uncle? You're wasting your time on a woman who can't give you anything real."

Jake saw his opportunity, smirking into the end of his phone, as he answered, "I'd rather be a fool for choosing a noble idea than be somebody who settled for mediocrity. Tell me, Dad, how's the ranch life working for you?"

"Don't test me, boy!" he seethed. "I'm not the one showboating in some plane over the fucking ocean."

"Better than shovelling shit every day."

His father growled, clearly agitated. "You've always been a rebellious one. Thinking you can defy me, defy tradition. No man wants to be raising her sister's kid, son. She's nothing but trouble and damaged goods. I won't have her ruining the Seresin name."

Rather than react to the dig towards you, Jake scoffed. "Yeah, sure, Keep talking like your opinion matters that much anyway."

"End it. Or I'm sending George up to California to end it for you. At least he knows how to take orders like a good son."

And then the line went dead.

Jake gripped his phone, tossing it harshly to your kitchen island. The conversation stung, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Even in California, miles between him and his home state, his father still tried to influence his life.

Needing to seek you out for comfort he returned to your room, pausing after he opened the door. You had turned in your sleep without him there, a hand stretched out to where he once was. The morning sunlight casting a beam through your drapes to the spot next to your head on your pillow. Sliding back beside you, Jake carefully lifted your arm as he placed it on his chest. You pulled yourself to him, head content to lay on his shoulder as a sigh escaped your lips.

"Jake," you murmured sleepily. "Is everything okay?"

"Go back to sleep," he replied, kissing your forehead hard. "It was just a wrong number."

Sadie's fine!!! 🥰 I'm not THAT heartless...

Tags:

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@keyrani

Part 13 - Sons and Daughters coming soon

Wickett ;)

[officialtayley]

At what point will we be free from ch*d/their divorce being mentioned in Hayley/Paramore-related articles/content??? I'm so sick of it. I thought all Hayley's press from around AL, and then 2 solo albums was enough. Everything has been already said. I mean it's been 6 years since their divorce, yet that misogynistic pitchfork bitch had to mention it in This Is Why album review… and the way it is completely irrelevant piece of information in context of album. Pure misogyny.

And now his whole ass name as well as the fact that he's guitarist for NFG has been mentioned in that Hayley's new cover story. I mean how many years need to pass to stop bringing up their relationship? Does she need to be married again for people to leave ch*d where he belongs?? I'm sure then they would somehow find a way to mention him to shame her for second marriage. Or if Hayley brings it herself, it doesn't mean they need to go in depth about who was she married to, and for how long. And they obviously have to say that they divorced after just one year of marriage to put her in a bad light. If they need to mention how long their relationship lasted, they could've said nearly 10 years, but no. They have to make her look bad.

It's just misogynistic as fuck as it is being constantly brought up when it comes to female artists/celebrities. There would be no talk it Taylor/Zac were the ones divorced, or it most likely isn't mentioned in NFG album reviews at all. Ugh.

Sorry for the rant, but Ash, I'm just so sick and tired of his ugly ass. Also praying for Scoups' health

man i don't know and it sucks tbh cause it's like it's been 6 years, it really doesn't need to be brought up in interviews all the time unless it is actually going to contribute something to the conversation in a way that's respectful towards her. it's like they just want people to know she was once married and it didn't work and blah blah and it's like okay....... google is free people can google her and find out about it and move on with their day.

[emilyrox]

“Thanks To Them” Liveblog

I’m not gonna reblog it over and over like last time. All my thoughts will be posted at once.

Spoilers for The Owl House: “Thanks To Them” Under The Cut

~

- I know we saw it already, but I never said anything til now. That is one of the best intro sequences to any tv episode I’ve ever seen.

- VEE’S SPANISH WAS SO FLUENT OMG

- Also Duolingo parody lol

- Hooty is with them in spirit

- “I never expected to be a mother of six” You have officially taken Eda’s role of being everyone’s mom, Ms. Noceda.

- The squad ‘boutta go on an adventure

- Also their poses are adorable af

- Luz...honey...listen...

- Ok i’m gonna go into more detail. I have a theory. Everyone thinks that when the hex squad finds out Luz and Hunter’s secrets, that they will turn on them. I don’t think so. I think that when they find out, they’ll be like...”Damn, that really sucks. But it’s not your fault. We don’t blame you. We’ll get through this, like we always do :)” And Luz and/or Hunter will react in the EXACT same way Luz just did in class. Even if their friends, the ones they think they hurt, tell them “it’s okay,” they’re not gonna be able to deal with that. They’ll be like “NO! You’re supposed to HATE me! I deserve to be not exist!” And it’s gonna be depressing as fuck.

- (If that actually happens I stg)

- “We’ve had enough of crusty old men” Agreed

- Belos you’re a crusty old man. Get TF outta here.

- I never thought “Hunter loves wolves” would be on a list of things I needed to know about him, but here we are.

- Ok the Cosmic Frontiers stuff was either Luz’s, her dad’s, or both. I’m calling it now.

- Ok that flashback...Camila DIDN’T WANT to send Luz to that camp. She LOVED Luz’s creativity and weirdness. She was peer pressured into doing it by other parents and the school staff.

- Also some people have theorized that Camila was similar to Luz when she was a kid, and now that’s confirmed.

- “Mom, why aren’t you mad at me?” LUZ STOP-

- BELOS STOP-

- Wait do the hex squad not know what year it is???

- Also Hunter is a cosplayer confirmed. And Gus and Willow are living for it. Amity and Vee are questioning their friend’s life choices.

- Also didn’t talk about this before but I LOVE Vee’s new design!

- HUNTER KNOWS ABOUT BELOS. BELOS STOOOOOOP-

- Willow with a pitchfork is everything

- Do Willow and Gus recognize the statues of Philip and Caleb?

- Amity trying to open the cabinet I can’t-

- Vee...

- VEE’S CAMP FRIENDS WORK THE HISTORICAL CENTER

- VEE HAS A CRUSH ON THE TAROT CARD KID WE ALL CALLED IT

- Vee why are you so cute oh my god

- Vee: “You guys must���ve been friends forever :)”

- The Squad: .....

- Ok they’re literally like the new scooby doo gang solving mysteries and I love it so much.

- Also how is there Titan Blood in the human realm?

- Does Luz’s magic work now!!!???

- Also NO LUZ you DID NOT mess up that Palisman’s life! It’s just taking it’s time to figure out it’s best form! And you’re gonna LOVE IT!!!

- Ok it’s time for the masks everyone’s been talking about. Either Luz and Hunter are gonna end up just like how Caleb and Philip did, with one of them betraying the other, or they’re gonna be Caleb + Philip gone right. They have a sibling-like relationship, but they’re not gonna turn on each other, and they’re gonna kick ass.

- Secret basement go brr

- Hunter you are her brother now. You will accept.

- I DO NOT LIKE THAT SHADOW. BELOS GO TF AWAYYYYYY-

- Camila, are you okay?

- Ok so Captain Frontier being Luz’s stuff is out. It’s either Luz’s fathers, which brings back memories and trauma for Camila, or it’s Camila’s, and it represent something embarrasing/traumatic about her past.

- MoringMark predicted Azura making Luz feel guilty. He was just wrong in how it would. Still convinced he secretly works for the show.

- “I know what I have to do now.” Luz...what does that mean??????

- WHY ARE YOU ON HIM, BELOS?????

- oh my god it’s this bitch again

- It’s Halloween so it makes sense that Gus can get away with having witch ears. Everyone just thinks it’s part of his dope costume.

- “The Tale of the Brothers Wittebane” oh my fucking god it’s happening

- “Sounds like big bro got a witch girlfriend and little bro got upset, but that’s just me” No no no, you’re on to something

- Belos fuck off jfc

- Also Hunter telling Luz about the puzzle be like “Hey so your gf found a puzzle that leads to titan blood but you didn’t here that from me k sis?”

- She got attached to Azura because of her dad LISTEN-

- That’s why she cut her hair omg

- Camila is shocked that Luz plans on staying permanently. She now sees that the demon realm allowed Luz to be herself, make friends, grow, etc. She just wants Luz to be happy. That’s all she wanted for Luz.

- Luz you are a GENIUS. And Don’t you EVER forget it!!

- Ok real quick I love that Luz and Vee have grown accustomed to each other’s ways of life. Luz is using magic, a boiling isles thing, to track Hunter, and Vee is using a cell phone, a human realm thing, to track Luz. I love it.

- YEAH!! She got the magic back, BITCHES!

- It’s like the core with Marcy all over again...

- Ok first off, f u Belos for being the one to tell them Luz’s secret

- Second off, the animation is popping off again

- At first I’m like “Vee what TF are you doing???”

- But then I remembered “OH YEAH! Basilisks eat magic!!!”

- FLAPJACK YOU’LL BE OKAY

- YAS HUNTER, FIGHT HIM!!!

- FLAPJACK WASN’T OK

- BUT HUNTER IS

- Ok my theory was half-correct. The squad isn’t mad at Luz for unwillingly helping Belos.

- Also Camila going in with Luz...I just...

- Also Vee posing as Camila now. I love it.

- Vee you are Camila’s daughter and Luz’s sister now. And it looks like you’ve already accepted.

- “Aw man, Camila still has the car keys!” I can’t-

- The art during the credits is beautiful I love it

- And you’re telling me the next episode doesn’t come out until JANUARY??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

- Also forgot to mention this earlier but Luz and Amity going as Azura and Hecate was amazing.

- Also just noticed the tarot card kid’s name is Masha! And they’re non-binary! And Vee has a crush on them!!!

- Also when Belos stabbed Flapjack and said “Goodbye, Evelyn,” was he doing that since Evelyn gave Caleb Flapjack, so Flapjack was the last trace of her? Or was Evelyn somehow a part of Flapjack? Also her name hints at her being a Clawthorne (Gwendolyn, Edalyn).

[mxgoldenwood]

I really want to talk about Faustus and Mephistopheles??

I've just read this play for a literature class and the instructor mostly wants to discuss the power of Marlowe's blank verse and why it's so effective, but I really want to talk about the way Marlowe describes damnation and how it's left mostly up to interpretation whether (or how) Faustus might have escaped being literally dragged away to torment in hell.

Could he have repented and been saved by God?? The play goes out of its way to say YES.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND... could he have been more sincere and thorough in his denouncement of God and then actually been hailed as a hero in Hell?? I feel like that's a solid MAYBE.

Throughout the whole play, Mephistopheles and Lucifer expound on that idea that Hell is the absence of the grace of God. It's not really about the traditional fires and pitchforks that people tend to imagine. Faustus is reminded to never think or speak of God, and promised that if he will put his faith in Lucifer instead, he'll be rewarded for it. But what does he keep doing throughout the play? He KEEPS bringing up God and Christ, lamenting that he's done horrible things that can never be forgiven, and this and that about the 'wrath' of God.

Regardless of one's personal philosophies about religion or the nature of God or the Devil, this situation just reads like...

Mephistopheles tells Faustus "It was a really tough break-up, and we are NOT friends anymore; God has the best house, but since we sided with Lucifer, we're not allowed to go back, not even to visit. So hey, it definitely sucks, but if you want to be friends anyway, we'll do it under one condition. Say you'll never mention God around us, because we really don't like being reminded of that whole thing, and you're in."

Obviously Faustus is like "I've never even met God, and he probably hates me for talking shit about him, so let's do this."

Everyone else tells Faustus, "PLEASE, they're really not nice people over there. Just say you're sorry about the shit-talking, and you can come to God's house."

Faustus gets all caught up in this pre-game party he's having with Mephistopheles, but he's constantly guilting himself about the shit-talking and the betrayal; he regularly talks about how God must hate him, and even when his time is running out, people keep telling him, "you just have to say you're sorry, it'll be fine, God will totally let you come over," but he insists that, no, he was a huge dick, he can't be forgiven, and how tragic it is for him that he can't go to God's house now.

Why wouldn't Lucifer and his friends be mad?? All Faustus had to do was NOT talk about God, and all he wanted to do was... talk about God. Of course they were going to beat him up for coming to the party and dragging everyone down, ruining the vibe, again, just when they were starting to forget the whole thing.

None of this is to endorse the idea that Faustus should have renounced God completely (obviously the play wants you to understand that he just had to repent), but it is fun to think about "what if."

[eremin0109]

So Badhaai Do is releasing in the theatres tomorrow and I'm shaking at the frequency of a supersonic jet just thinking about it but that's not what this post is about.

For the last couple weeks, since the trailer was put out, I've been seeing quite a bunch of gay people already disappointed and posting negative af ramblings about everything wrong with the trailer.

Listen, I know the trailer's not perfect but with all due respect, can y'all shut up and actually wait for the film to be released to be pissed off about it???? Like you see a few out-of-context scenes and you go all bonkers over them. Like seriously. For the first time EVER in mainstream Bollywood we're getting a wlw mlm solidarity story with TWO queer romances AND awareness about lavender marriages. Instead of welcoming the initiative, a lot of people from the community itself are butthurt over it.

To talk about an issue you NEED to show the issue in your media. I already see some of y'all saying how it will promote lavender marriages as a convenient out for Indian parents to shove their queer kids into when YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YET how the creators of the film have handled the subject. There were queer people involved during the writing of the film. These are the same people who did this film's spiritual prequel Badhaai Ho and Bareilly ki Barfi, so have some faith. If it sucks, of course y'all can criticise and slam the film all you want. But raising pitchforks against it before the film even releases is just stupid and only gives the homophobes even MORE ammunition against us.

Personally, I am willing to look past whatever flaws the film has just for the sake of representation. Rajkumar Rao is playing his first ever MACHO™ role and it just happens to be a gay cop???? Please, they broke two huge stereotypes right there. Plus a northeast actress getting a major role in a mainstream Hindi film???? As the love interest of the female lead no less??? That's more than enough of a draw in for me.

(P.S. I know some of y'all are gonna be like they didn't cast queer actors for the roles but that's a whole different Pandora's box altogether. And I don't believe only queer actors can portray queer roles accurately or sensitively. An actor is an actor at the end of the day, their IRL sexuality has nothing to do with their acting capabilities.)

[a-edgar-allan-hoe]

The Last Chthonian

Bucky x Reader, Sam x Reader, Zemo x Reader

Part 6

A/N: Part 6 is here lovelies! I honestly wish it didn’t take me forever to write just one chapter 😭

Summary: Imagine being Hekate, the Greek goddess of magic and witchcraft, the night and the moon, doorways and crossroads, creatures of the night, and ghosts and necromancy. You stumbled upon Earth many centuries ago and since then have resided on the foreign planet. During the recent years you created an alias for yourself to hide your true identity, and after the war against Thanos you chose to live out your days in the Scottish countryside, until a certain trio appear at your doorstep one day.

Warnings: language, some implications of sex because it’s Lucifer we’re talking about here

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

“Lucifer.” You stood there by the bar trying to get the man’s attention.

The tall man in the suit straightened up once he heard your voice, a glass of alcohol was in his hands as he slowly turning around to face you.

“Well well, if it isn’t my favorite Chthonian, Hekate.” A sly smile broke out on the man’s face. “Surprised to see you here princess, I haven’t seen you in decades.” His dark eyes roamed your frame and the simple clothes you wore while you squinted your eyes at him. “My, you look ravishing as always.”

“Hello Lucifer.” Your voice was firm.

Sam, Bucky, and Zemo had just caught up with you after having to squeeze through everyone, their eyes darting between you and the mysterious, tall, expensive looking man in front of you. Who was this guy and why were you talking to him? And from the way he was looking at you, they began to think he was a previous fling of yours, and though they did not want to admit it, I dare say they were beginning to feel a bit green.

“Well, tell me.” The man finished his drink before pouring himself another glass. “What brings you all the way over here to my little dominion? I’d offer you a drink but I know how much you despise it.”

“I don’t despise it.” You rolled your eyes. “Your liquor collection tastes like piss anyways.”

“I beg your pardon, I always choose the best. You insulting my taste buds now? Truth is, you just can’t get drunk.” He scoffed, turning to you again, swirling the contents of his glass around before taking a sip. “You and your intolerably high tolerance, must be miserable. So tell me, why are you here? Not that I don’t enjoy your company darling.”

“I’m here to collect up on a favor.”

“Oh? Are you now?” The same sly smile retuned to his face as he took a step closer to you. “Does it involve a little you and me? A bit of the ole snog and shag? I’ve always heard how electrifying and intoxicating of an experience it is to be with a Greek deity.”

“Keep that up and I’ll recreate my moment with Julius Caesar.” Your smiled sarcastically, clenching your jaw as you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Oh how you hated his smug ass sometimes.

“Well I’d certainly love to tangle with you darling. Oh wait....you meant the stabbing didn’t you. Of course you would.”

Sam stepped up in front of you with his fists clenched, glaring at Lucifer once he heard the little exchange. “Hey man, I don’t like you talking to her like that.”

“Yeah. Neither do I.” Bucky stepped up in front of you as well, squaring up against Lucifer. Even Zemo stood close behind, making you look up at him as he was now right beside you, ready to fight the man if need be. If there was one thing he didn’t like, it was definitely vulgarity.

Lucifer smiled in surprise, scoffing at the three men who had now shielded you behind them. It was now your turn to scoff, rolling your eyes at their defensive behavior before pulling them apart so you can get through. “Chill out you three, for fucks sake, I’m not in danger.”

“But-“ Sam tried to argue but you cut him off.

“Trust me, he’s not a threat. And if he was, you don’t want to fight him.”

“Well who are these three dashing gentlemen?” Lucifer quirked a brow as he eyed them all. “Ohh, what’s this? Terminator, Amenadiel 2.0, and Viktor Krum? Are they your little boy toys Hekate?”

Bucky, Zemo, and Sam were fuming as they all tried to charge again, but you held your arms out, smacking them aside. “Watch your mouth Lucifer. They’re my colleagues.”

“That’s never stopped anyone.” He took another sip.

“What’s your deal man?” Sam scowled.

“Well don’t be rude Hekate. Where’s the proper introduction?” Lucifer gestured as his eyes roamed over them.

You sighed before you started to introduce them to each other. “This is Sam, Bucky, and Zemo. Guys, this is-“

“Lucifer Morningstar.” He boasted, slightly bowing. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Lucifer Morningstar?” Bucky cocked his head back as he did a double take.

“Yes, well I said that just now didn’t I.”

“As in the devil?” Sam smirked as if this was a joke. “Horns, tail, pitchfork, half goat devil?”

“You missed out the red cape and tights, but yes, I am the devil, the one and only, yours truly.” Lucifer replied with sarcasm as he was getting annoyed. “But seriously, what is it with the half goat thing. Is this in your realm as well?”

“Yeah.” You replied blandly.

“Ugh, fuck me. I’m never going to escape it.” He rolled his eyes as he chugged the glass down.

“Wait is he for real or is he just a screw loose?” Sam turned to you.

“Yes.”

“Which one is it?”

“Both.”

“She’s kidding right.” Sam muttered to Bucky.

“Don’t ask me Sam. I don’t have a clue about anything at this point.” Bucky shook his head.

“Don’t look at me like that Sam.” You rolled your eyes as Sam glared at you, upset about not knowing firsthand that you were taking them to the damn devil himself. “This isn’t some kind of college lecture where I write things on the board and you just take notes.”

“Well then.” Lucifer turned to you, giving you his full attention. “What exactly is this favor?”

“I need Mazekeen.”

“Desperate now are we?”

You rolled your eyes yet again, you were sure you’d end up cross eyed by the end of the day due to his antics. “I need her to watch over Athena for a while.”

“Ah yes. I forgot you had a little miscreant of your own. But why Maze? Can’t you use one of your own minions?”

“Well I can’t exactly have the empusas or harpies take care of her. Besides, Athena likes Maze.”

“Right. Wouldn’t want a blood sucking demon or a torturous she-bird near your little delinquent.” He turned to the other side of the bar. “Maze! Mazikeen!”

“I heard you once you know.” A dark haired woman stepped up to the bar, glaring at Lucifer before turning to you with surprise. “Hekate? Well hello gorgeous. I didn’t expect you.”

“Hi Maze.” You smiled at her. “How have you been?”

“Unbelievable.” Lucifer muttered. “She scowls at me but smiles at her.”

“Well I’m stuck with this guy so what do you think?” Maze leaned over the counter with a playful roll of her eyes before they landed on the men behind you as she licked her lips. “Ooh. I see you’ve brought dessert.”

Bucky, Sam, and Zemo looked at each other uneasily. Where the hell did you drag them to? Were you literally going to sell them off to Satan himself and leave them there? Was that your master plan all along?

“Uhhh they’re not on the menu. Sorry Maze, they’re my colleagues.”

“Boring isn’t she? Hekate needs you to take care of her little miscreant.” Lucifer interrupted.

“Athena? Really?” Maze’s eyes lit up.

“Just for some time Maze while I go take care of some things.”

“Hell yeah. I’m down. Anything to get away from this place and this asshole.” Maze jumped over the counter with a grin as Lucifer gave her an offended look. “Let me get my things.” You watched as she hurried up the stairs, leaving you and the rest with Lucifer.

“Sooo.” You heard Lucifer speak up, making you groan in annoyance. What now?

“Since we have some lovely time on your hands.” Lucifer slid up to Bucky, Sam, and Zemo with a sly smile and a dark, mischievous glint in his eyes. “Tell me, what is it you truly desire?”

You watched as the men became trapped in his gaze, their stern facial expressions falling as they became vulnerable, opening their mouths to speak of their deepest secret.

“Oh hell no. None of that shit.” You rolled your eyes as you snapped your fingers in their faces, breaking off Lucifer’s spell. Sam, Bucky, and Zemo shook their heads in confusion as they tried to process what the hell just happened.

“Ugh. You are no fun you know that.” Lucifer rolled his eyes at you. “You’re completely and utterly dull. I thought the detective was boring, then there’s you.”

“Hey, what the hell was that?” Sam raised his voice, upset about the weird hypnosis he just experienced.

“Just one of his stupid hoodoo voodoo staring bullshit.” You muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bucky asked, getting more confused by the minute.

“Well it’s when I ask you what you desire and you tell me your answer willingly.” Lucifer explained the process before make a snide remark about you. “It’s worked wonders until she ruined my mojo.”

“Bold of you to assume you even had any mojo to begin with.” You snapped back.

“You know, I tried my mojo on her once. Do you know what her answer was?” Lucifer brought up.

“I’m guessing her answer was to your disappointment. Was it ‘go away’?” Zemo answered with a sarcastic tone, which made you look up at him, smirking at his comment.

“Close.” Lucifer grinned at Zemo. “It was actually, in her exact words ‘for you to go play a nice game of hide-and-go-fuck-yourself’. How delightful. We became best friends ever since.”

“How unfortunate.” You mumbled with your arms crossed.

“Now I must say.” Lucifer stepped up to Zemo as he touched the fur collar of his coat. “I’m loving this coat. Are you part of the Russian mafia?”

“Please don’t touch me.” Zemo moved Lucifer’s hand away with his gloved one. “I’d rather not have your hands near me, considering the....places they have been.”

“Oh.” Lucifer turned to you with amusement. “I like this one. Now really, what is he, hm?”

“I don’t know. Looks human to me.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“He’s the baron of Sokovia. Lay off will ya?”

“Sokovia? Never heard of it. But a baron? How exciting, looks like we have two royals in the building, including me of course. Now, since we have some time to spare, how about we go upstairs and make it a royal three-“

You scowled at Lucifer, stepping on his foot before he could finish his sentence. This motherfucker.

“Ow! Those are Pradas!”

“Next time it’s your family jewels.”

“Alright then, you win. I’ll keep my mouth shut if that keeps you from tyrannizing me. My word you hit hard.”

You rolled your eyes yet again, praying for Maze to hurry up. You were feeling extremely sorry that the three had to put up with his foolish behavior. You couldn’t help the breath of relief once you saw Maze approaching you with her bag.

“Thank the gods.” You sighed before speaking to Maze. “You ready?”

“Let’s go.” She smiled.

“Well I’ll see you later then Maze, have fun with the little miscreant.” Lucifer commented. “And I hope you’ll return soon Hekate? I always do enjoy your company, no matter how cruel and dreary you are.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” You waved Lucifer goodbye as you made your way towards the exit. “Say hi to Amenadiel and Chloe for me! I prefer their company any day over yours! Oh also! You better ask Chloe out or I will take her out myself!”

Once you had left the stuffy building, you were able to breathe better as you took in a big breath of the night air, feeling a little more at peace.

“Finally.” Sam spoke up with an irritated scowl on his face. “He was getting on my damn nerves. What a guy.”

“You’re telling me.” Bucky uttered, his posture was more relaxed now, now that he was away from the large crowd and away from Lucifer.

“Did you expect anything different?” Zemo tilted his head. “He is the devil, as y/n briefly mentioned.”

“About that.” Sam turned to you with a scolding look. “We need to talk.”

“Not now Sam.” You silenced him before turning to Maze. “Okay there’s going to be some ground rules. First off, no parties.”

“Yeah I know.” Maze rolled her eyes.

“Hang on. I’m not finished. No drinking, Athena does not need to be seeing that. Absolutely no men over of any kind, because that’s just gross. I have plenty of food in the fridge and in my garden. Also here’s some money for takeout if you want it. And-“

“Hekate, I got it.” Maze stopped you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Chloe lectured the same thing to me when I had to babysit Trixie. I know how this all works. I promise I’ll take good care of her.”

“I know. This is just my first time.” You sighed.

“She’ll be safe with me I promise.”

“I trust you Maze. Oh also, if anyone threatening decides to stop by-“

“Slice em up.”

“Yes.....but no.”

“Awww. That’s no fun.” Maze slumped her shoulders.

“Life is full of disappointments. Just give them a good scare. You know what to do.” You told her as you opened up a portal for her that led to your home. “You got everything?”

“Yup. See you later Hekate.” She gave you one last smile before disappearing into the portal. You watched as it closed behind her, trying your best to wash away all the doubts. You knew Maze would take good care of Athena, that was certain. But life hasn’t been very kind to you lately. And you’ve only been more on edge ever since you lost your planet. But you had hope, because Athena was the last favor of kindness that was offered to you, and you weren’t going to let her go. So with the little bit of faith in you, you sent over a protective spell on Maze, just for the extra precaution, a part of you knowing everything would turn out just fine.

“So.” You spoke up. “Where do we start?”

Tag List: @Little-baby-vixen @girl-obsessed-with-things @aerynchromie @sunshinepower17 @viviace @kakimakiloh @thebivirgin @gambitsqueen @spookycereal-s @lulu-yuming @mochminnie @gabitanaka47 @s00nhi @vanteguccir @tomhollandsslilslut @dracoxxyoflam @suchababie @uhhhcrypticbastard @pollynx

[buckysgoldenheart]

How to Piss Him Off

Jealous Henry x Reader

Summary: Henry makes you go to a party you never wanted to, and it makes you feel like crap, so you make some choices that has Henry getting upset fast.

Words: 3495

Warnings: Cursing, basic quick smut, jealousy, general sassiness.

Notes: I messed with this story so much I now hate it, so I don’t even know if anyone will actually like it but let me know if you do. It’d probably make me feel better about how much I fiddled with it and how long it took :’D

Needs serious editing at some point.

You hated parties. Why would you go to a party when you could be home reading or playing video games while gorging yourself on junk food? That would be so much better than being surrounded by a forty or fifty intoxicated and horny people.

You were dragged kicking and screaming like an eight-year old, just to be forced to watch some drunk woman in a slutty dress rub herself all up against your friend. It made you all the more thankful for the amount of alcohol the party—whoever’s it was—provided, because while Henry didn’t exactly look comfortable with the situation he was in, he certainly wasn’t shoving that girl off of him. So, you would drink until the spectacle in front of you turned so blurry you couldn’t tell who was grinding on who.

When Henry’s hand eventually found her waist, you unglued your eyes and turned to refresh your drink. A guy in front of you chuckled as you filled the plastic red cup to the brim, took a sip, then poured more to replace the amount lost. You looked up at him sheepishly, but all he did was beam back at you, his bright, green eyes shining and white teeth showing. It did something to you; twisted your stomach, sent shocks to your core, made your breath hitch. He was so hot, it almost made you push Henry to the back of your mind.

You smiled a little more confidently. “Sorry, is this your party? I’m not trying to drink all of your alcohol.”

He laughed, took a long drink of his beer and shook his head. “Not my party. Drink up.”

“Whose is it?”

“Oh, I have no idea. Just here to take what is freely given.” He gestured to the snacks and drinks surrounding him. You chuckled and he asked your name.

“Y/N,” You said, then for some reason, blushed.

He stuck his hand out in your direction and you took it. “I’m Aaron.” When you tried to pull your hand away, he held on tighter. “Do you want to go somewhere quieter? It’s hard to talk here.”

You considered for a moment. He was right, the music and over-packed room did make it difficult to have a decent conversation, but something inside of you didn’t want to leave Henry with a woman that clearly wanted to fuck him. Though, what did it matter. It was not as if staring at him from a distance would keep him from getting in her pants, so you looked back at Aaron and nodded.

He led you away, down a hallway, to what seemed like a second living room with only a few other partiers inside. The small group lounged on couches and armchairs, drunkenly discussing their various existential crises. Aaron snickered at them and sat on the love-seat in the back of the room and, with a tug of your hand, you fell on it beside him.

You both awkwardly looked around the room, blue and purple light bulbs giving it a soothing glow, while Aaron sneaked his arm along the back of the small couch behind your head. Your body was already so close to his, all he would have to do is wrap that arm around your shoulders and you would practically be in his lap.

“So,” He began, drawing your eyes to his. His face was so close, lips barely three inches away, and you couldn’t help but notice how he kept looking at yours. “Tell me about yourself.”

So, you did. In exchange, he told you about his life, and you found yourself enjoying his company more than you expected. You laughed more than you thought you would. And at some point, your legs had draped over his lap and his hand was rubbing up and down your bare thigh, slowly pushing up your skirt with each stroke along your skin. You knew what he was doing, and you didn’t mind it. The least it would do was keep your thoughts off Henry probably getting his dick sucked in some other room of the house.

His fingers finally slipped under the hem of the velvety fabric and grazed your covered core; the thin, lacy material doing very little to lessen the sensation of his touch. You gasped and he looked at you in silent question. When you nodded, he grabbed your waist and pulled you to him until you straddled his hips.

You put your hands on the sides of his face and slammed your lips to his as his burning touch ran up and down your spine. A moan erupted from the both of you, tingling your lips, as he grew harder beneath you and you ground your hips down. You shoved a hand between your bodies to his belt buckle, trying your best to undo it. Thankfully, the crisis group had left a half hour before because you had no intention of moving to a bedroom. You needed this. You needed to forget Henry, at least for one night.

Just as Aaron put his hand on the back of your neck to kiss you harder, you were yanked up and off his body. Aaron opened his eyes, confused, much like you were, as to why Henry’s large hand now gripped your upper arm.

“Henry, what the fuck!” You yelled as he glared down at Aaron buckling his belt.

“We are going home,” Henry demanded through gritted teeth, looking at you in a way he never had before.

“What? No, I—”

Aaron stood fast, his eyes darting between you and Henry. “Woah, buddy, let her go. She clearly wants to stay.” When he reached a hand out to pull you back to him, Henry lightly yanked you further away.

You jerked your arm in a weak attempt at freedom. “Yea, I want to stay!”

“No! You are drunk. Let’s go!”

Aaron shook his head and gave you a sympathetic smile. “Your bodyguard is intense, sweetness.”

You huffed and tried once again to shove Henry’s hand off you. “Tell me about it. Get off!”

When Aaron stepped to you, you thought he was going to try and kiss you, but instead he leaned down to whisper his last name in your ear and brushed your cheek with his knuckle. “Look me up, yea? I’d love to see you again.”

You giggled and agreed before Aaron walked past you, smirking at Henry and harshly bumping his shoulder on his way out the door. Henry whipped you around to face him.

“Get your stuff.”

“I didn’t bring anything,” You sneered.

“Then go,” He said, slightly pushing you in front of him. “March it!”

---------

Outside, Henry stared at you, waiting, though his patience was running thin. “Y/N, get in the car.” You frowned at him and crossed your arms, prompting a hefty groan from Henry. He took a deep breath and tried a little softer. “Y/N, Please, get in the car. Please.”

Rolling your eyes, you relented and sat yourself in the leather seat. Henry shut the door hard enough that it made you jump, stomped to his side and drove down the long driveway. You didn’t talk until he passed the exit that would take you to your house. “I thought you were taking me home.”

“You’re too drunk to be alone.”

You leaned your head against the window. “I’m not that drunk.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not!”

He looked at you, eyebrows drawn together. “Oh, yea? You normally dry hump strangers in a secluded room at a party, do you?”

You watched out the window as he parked the car in front of his house, then met his eyes. “I do what I want, when I want, and tonight I wanted to dry hump a stranger in a secluded room at a party where the only person I know abandoned me to get grinded up against.”

His grip on the steering wheel turned his knuckles white, but then he got out of the car, went to your side, and opened the door for you. You ignored the hand he extended to you and marched to the front door of his house.

As you stepped into the foyer, Henry threw his keys on the side table, and you took in the room. “Where is Kal?”

“At a friend’s,” He said, walking to the kitchen. When he came back, he shoved a glass of water in your direction. “Drink.”

You rolled your eyes but did as he asked. Both your hands wrapped around the cup as you glared at him over the rim. When not a drop was left, he took the glass and turned back to the kitchen. “Go upstairs and go to bed.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

“Go upstairs—” He began again as he returned to the room.

“Oh, I heard you. I’m just trying to figure out how you have the audacity to tell me what to do.”

Henry sighed. “Y/N, will you please—”

“No! What the hell happened back there? What the fuck did you think you were doing, huh?

“I was protecting you.”

“From what? A hot guy whose tongue I was more than happy to have down my throat? Protecting me from something I wanted to do?”

He clenched his teeth and swallowed hard. “Stop it.”

“Stop what? Did you think I didn’t want him? If I recall correctly, I was on top of him.”

“Stop! Y/N, you did not want to have sex with him!”

“Oh please,” You scoffed. “I’m not that drunk, Henry. I’m barely tipsy. I knew what I was doing. But, fuck, I don’t know why I’m surprised you got in the way. For the last year, every man I’ve met you’ve practically chased away with a pitchfork.”

“Go. To. Bed!”

“Don’t. Test. Me!” You yelled, “God, you are unbeliev—”

Before you could finish, Henry had put his hands on your cheeks, pulled you in, and kissed you. Your eyes went wide at the feel of his mouth on yours and how firmly he held you close, keeping you from escaping. It sucked the air from your lungs, and you were so temped to give in to him, to wrap your arms around him, part your lips, and let his tongue slip between them. If only he hadn’t been such an ass.

You quickly put your hands on his chest and shoved. He stumbled back a couple steps, your weaker strength somehow enough to overpower him. The look on his face, the shame of doing what he had, was unable to be masked.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Henry winced at your tone. “Y/N—”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?”

He said nothing as the remnants of your words echoed around the large room.  

You shook your head to yourself. “I’m going home.”

He quickly grabbed your hand as you hurriedly walked past him, and you frowned again at the grip on your wrist. Looking up at him, all you could see was pain in every feature of his face, in every bit of the blue in his eyes. “No, Y/N, please don’t. Stay. I’m sorry.”

The desperation killed you. His voice broke around the words, and his grip, though appearing rough, was light and soft. He would let you leave if you wanted, he just hoped you wouldn’t.

“Fine. Explain.”

He released you and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just…I don’t…fuck, I…”

“Ok, I’m leaving.”

“I love you,” He said to your back.

You died. Or some part of you did. Your heart, maybe; possibly your brain, for you weren’t sure you heard correctly. You couldn’t take another step, shoes somehow glued to their spot on the floor.

His hands on your shoulders had you looking in his eyes again. “I tried not to, ok. I swear I gave it my best shot. I didn’t want to ruin anything between us, but I couldn’t help it.” You felt his fingers trail down your arms until he could lightly squeeze your hands. “I’m sorry.”

Everything inside you was screaming, but you could only manage a whisper. “H-How long?”

Henry sighed and closed his eyes. “A year.” You stepped back and jerked your hands from his hold, but his still reached out, chasing the touch you so briefly allowed him. “I know…I’m sor—”

“Stop apologizing. Just…stop.”

He might’ve said something after that, but you couldn’t tell. His words had started to fade, and your vision was turning fuzzy as your brain tried to focus on your thoughts and how they were beginning to consume you. You loved him. It had been months of agony and anxiety and pure pain every time you saw someone else fawning over him. Then he does this, and suddenly you want to wail and throw a brick at a wall, or punch him in the chest before sobbing into it with his arms around you. It was too much. You had never done well with an overstimulation of emotions; they made you want to collapse and sink into the floor.

You took a deep breath, slowly exhaling like your mother had taught you, and said, “You’re right, I should go to bed.”

He looked at you like you had grown an extra limb, but you didn’t miss how the sadness in his eyes remained. Without a word, you turned on your heel and hiked up the stairs to the guest bedroom you had stayed in many times before. Moments after you closed the door, you heard a groan from below and the unmistakable sound of glass shattering against a wall.

---------

You couldn’t sleep. You didn’t even know why you bothered to try. Every hour felt like a month, and the more exhausted you became, the more your body felt like it had just trudged through miles of thick, solidifying mud; but your mind was vigorously racing with your heart. It was agonizing, and you couldn’t take it.

Rubbing your hands over your face, you dug the base of your palms in your eyes, and with an agitated whimper, threw the covers over your legs.

Henry’s room was just down the hall to the left, and without knocking, you eased the door open and stepped inside. He was so beautiful when he slept, but something worried him; you could see it by the little crease between his brows. You wanted to make it stop, to soothe his features.

You lifted the corner of his comforter and sneaked underneath it, wiggling your body close to his until not even an ant could fit between you. Facing each other, you brushed his hair back from his face then stroked his cheek where scruff was staring to grow. His eyebrows scrunched together at your touch and his body shifted under the covers.

Before he could fully wake, you leaned forward to softly press your lips to his, and after a moment, his arm wrapped strongly around you and forced what little oxygen you had left out of your lungs. You moaned when he kissed you back, sucking your bottom lip with a small bite before pushing his tongue in your mouth.

He made a small grunting sound as if suddenly coming to his senses, then broke your kiss and opened his eyes. “Y/N, what are you doing?” He whispered. There was a note of worry in his voice as if he thought you might regret your actions come morning, so you softly shushed him and ran a finger along the curve of his razor-sharp jaw. A look of uncertainty came over his face, but then you kissed him again.

He rolled on top of you without a second thought and you slid your hands down his chest before slipping one in his sweatpants. When you wrapped your fingers around his cock, he moaned and began to gently thrust into the warmth of your palm. 

“Are you sure,” He asked, nudging his nose against yours.

With your free hand, your fingers wound into his hair and gently tugged. “Yes.”

Henry groaned and slammed his lips to yours again. He pushed his sweatpants down passed his ass just enough to let his cock spring free, bunched the hem of the oversized t-shirt you wore up to your navel, then edged your panties to the side and slammed himself inside you. You both gasped.

“Fuck,” He mumbled as he dipped his head into the curve of your neck and started pressing kisses on your sensitive skin. He bit your shoulder when you lifted your hips, silently begging him to move, then painfully slowly started to thrust in and out of you. “You are so…perfect.”

A tear slipped down your cheek as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. You had never been put through a whirlwind of emotions all in a single day. You had never felt this wanted. You had never loved someone the way you did him, and every bit of it flooded you until it had no choice but to spill out somewhere.

“God, I love you,” He whispered before kissing right under your ear. His lips trailed along your jaw and he licked away the saltiness of your tears.

You tried to speak, but all you could manage was a whimper as your walls began to clench harder around his cock. Each shove inside of you reached deeper than the last and you felt it bringing you closer and closer to your release.

Tangling your fingers in his hair, you pulled his face back so you could connect your lips and curl your tongue around his. His kissed you long and slow, drawing each second out as if you wouldn’t allow him the chance again if that kiss broke, and something about it ached a spot in your heart. All you wanted was to reassure him, so you separated a hairs width. “Henry…I love you.”.

Blue eyes seemed to brighten, and his lips parted. A quick breath puffed against your face and you inhaled him as he started to pound into you harder until you came with a sharp cry and a whimper of his name, your walls milking him until he spilled himself inside you with groan.

His massive, muscled body collapsed on top of yours, but you didn’t want him to move. Even as you felt him begin to soften inside of you, you refused to separate your bodies, so you wrapped your arms snugly around him.

“You love me?” He asked, lifting his head from the curve of your neck and staring into your eyes.

Swallowing once and nodding, you moved your hands to either sides of his cheeks, and said, “I have for months. I just…”

Henry touched his forehead to yours and let out a clearly disappointed sigh. “We both wasted all this time pretending.”

“We’ll lose our minds thinking about it too much,” You said and tilted your lips up to press them to his, pulling a small groan from his chest before he rolled on his back with your body flat on top of his. “Henry, I’m so sorry about what happened at the party. That guy—”

Henry’s grin had you pausing as he rubbed at his forehead.

You cocked your head to the side. Smiling at the reminder of you all over another man was not what you expected. “What?”

“You’re sorry,” He said, sifting his fingers through the waves of your hair. “Sweetheart, that is the last thing you should be. I’m the one who made an idiot of myself. I just…” He took a breath, “I got sick of this girl not leaving me alone and all I wanted was to find you, but when I did, that guy had his hands and mouth all over you and I…lost it.”

With a soft smile, you ran your index finger over his bottom lip. “How about we just called it even, yea?”

Henry hummed, unsatisfied with that decision, but at the playful look on your face he surrendered. One of many things he loved about you: holding grudges was not something you cared to have much experience with. “Fine. If…”

“If…?”

“If you move in with me.”

“What!” In your shock, your body jolted upright, but you found yourself held tight by a pair of thick arms around your waist.

“You stay here all the time anyway. You’ll just sleep in my bed now, not the guest. And the lease is almost up at your place.”

An awkward laugh passed your lips. “Henry…”

“You’re smiling. You can’t lie to me now.”

You rested your forehead against his chest with a light groan. Henry chuckled at the sound, and the rumble in his chest soothed you to no end. “You’ve lost your mind.”

“Maybe,” He replied, and you looked up at him. “But I want you here, with me. So, what do you think?”

With a quick, deep breath, you shook your head. But then you smiled and said, “…Yes.”

---------------------------------------------------

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