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slytherinsnekxvii · 4 years ago

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let's talk about severus snape. he's one of the most controversial characters the internet has to offer, with several blogs, channels and pages dedicated specifically to hating him, despite him having one of the most—if not the most—intriguing character arcs the series has to offer. so, as a result of me coming across far too many of said blogs, channels or pages, here's an extremely detailed explanation of why i like him and think he's easily one of my favourite characters :)

1. he's not that bad of a teacher.

just so you know, i'm a teenage girl fresh out of high school. so, my experience with teachers? still keeps me up at night :)

my family is pretty strict about religion. you can guess what that means. anything that was magic-adjacent, especially something that, god forbid, had an entire school dedicated to witchcraft and wizardry was a hard no if i wanted to have any sort of freedom over the media i paid attention to, and any opportunity to go about my life without being monitored to make sure i wasn't suddenly possessed or something. thanks to this, i ended up secretly reading the philosopher's stone in my last year of primary school. i would've been 11 at the time, just about to turn 12, so a little bit older than harry and co. going on what i'd heard from those who had already read the series, i went in expecting to absolutely despise this man. i went in expecting to read a demon. i finished the book and came out thinking... that really wasn't that bad.

my mom found out, so i didn't get to read the rest of the series until i ended up on the executive committee for my school's book club and my friends were appalled that i'd only read the first book. at this point, i'm still expecting him to get worse and... he just doesn't. when i was in primary school, i had multiple teachers break wooden meter-long rulers across my classmates' backs. the first time it happened, i was in infant year 2 (about 6/7 years old). i had teachers who would insult us, based on anything from hygiene to behaviour to intelligence if you looked at them wrong. my sister (who was three years ahead of me) had a teacher who kept her in hours after school was over because the teacher had a written a note in her workbook upside down, and when my sister corrected her, the teacher made her rewrite it, turning the book each time the note was written so it would never be done the correct way.

in secondary school, i had teachers who would actively humiliate us in front of the class if we didn't do as well as they wanted. i had teachers who would throw markers and whiteboard erasers at us if we did something they didn't like during class. i had a teacher who looked for a friend of mine who was petrified of attention and then mercilessly picked on her until she went to the bathrooms to cry. these are the kinds of teachers that i was used to. so, when i read harry potter and read snape, who would have probably been one of the nicer teachers i met in my lifetime, i thought to myself, he's really not that bad. he's just... strict.

antis claim that he traumatised every kid that ever went through his class, that he straight up abused them and... no. he didn't. all of them are comfortable talking back, they talk during his class, no one trembles when he walks past, except for neville, who usually bore the brunt of snape's anger because he was consistently messing up in a potentially lethal class.

after school, i hated the thought of formal education, so now i'm working until i feel ready to do university. coincidentally, one of my jobs is teaching maths and english to kids writing the end of primary and secondary school exams. given the sheer amount of annoyance i feel sometimes, i actually respect him for not being more harsh with them, especially when they're all running off into danger or exploding cauldrons.

he really isn't that bad of a teacher, and we know this, since his classes' owl results are said to be consistently good.

plus, he was written in the 90's when all this was okay behaviour for teachers. hell, compared to some of the teachers in text, given that he goes out of his way to make sure the students are always protected, he's a lot better than most people give him credit for.

2. i relate to him.

come on, the man grew up to be a dramatic, queer-coded, petty bitch who wears all black all the time and likely has at least one mental disorder. i'm a petty, emo bisexual with (actually diagnosed, don't worry) depression and anxiety and I'm in a theatre group. what did you really expect from me?

on a serious note, both of the schools i went to were considered "prestigious". i got into my primary school because of a teacher's recommendation (she was a family friend). the second school i got into was because i scored ridiculously high on the placement test that would determine which school i went to. in primary school, i was the poor, really awkward, really smart kid who got left out of everything, and my best friend was the only kid who was worse off than me.

in secondary school, i was just as smart as everyone else... but i was still poorer, and still more awkward and still got left out of everything.

i got that isolated feeling, that feeling of not being good enough, that feeling where life always seems to have it out for you and that's even though i still got dealt a better hand than snape ever did. so, i get it. i'm never ever going to have it as bad as he did, but i acknowledge what he went through and i sympathise, because i have a chance, but it only ever got worse for him.

3. i genuinely enjoy his character.

this dude went through absolute hell for basically his entire life. the best years he had were probably when he was neck-deep in the group of people who hated witches and wizards like him, but somehow managed to treat him better than the good guys.

all of that, and he still manages to be one of the most entertaining motherfuckers in the whole series, with one of the most interesting character arcs ever. it's the witty lines, the sheer dynamic of his character, the change from the twitchy, hypervigilant kid from the slums to the adult that managed to spy on the Dark Lord himself and save the wizarding world in the process, while still being a hot mess of a person. it's the managing to get shit done while everybody hated him and everything was going to hell. it's the everything, and i haven't even talked about how badass he is.

come on, potions prodigy turned master, exemplary duellist (cough, cough, winning 4-on-1 vs McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Slughorn, and leaving a scratch on nobody, while managing to not take a single hit himself, cough, cough), spellcrafter, spy and one of the only wizards to ever figure out unaided flight. dark arts master, proficient at healing (dumbledore would've been dead a lot sooner, if it weren't for him, most likely). he's one of the most powerful wizards of his time. i've said that any universe where he's actually a bad guy—or just legitimately loyal to the death eaters—is a universe where voldemort wins and this is why. if he was motivated by literally anything other than lily, the wizarding world was more than likely fucked.

the point is, i just think he's neat.

4. spite.

every time i appreciate snape, a snater feels like someone is walking over their grave. every time i appreciate snape, a snater turns blue out of sheer rage. every time i appreciate snape, a snater loses their mind looking for their non-existent reading comprehension.

the spite in my veins is tempered only by the broth of instant ramen and ungodly amounts of sugar, and i'm going to use them all in my mission to cause antis pain when they refuse to acknowledge their lack of critical thinking and analysis skills.

so, yeah. why do i actually like snape?

tl;dr: he's not that bad. for a teacher written in the 90's and compared to teachers i've had within the decade, the guy's just strict. sure, he's a dick (who i personally think is hilarious), but he always makes sure the students are safe and he didn't leave any lasting effect on any of the students. he's really not that bad of a teacher. and hell, he's not even that bad of a person. i fully admit that he was an asshole and i entirely believe he was prone to self-destructive behaviour, but he still tried to atone for his mistakes and he did, is the thing, even though the odds were stacked more or less completely against him. i like him because he entertains me, and because i relate to him, as a teen who went through some shit and probably would have joined up with some bad people if it weren't for my friends and family, and as a teacher who really can't stand my students sometimes. i also like him because it irritates people who don't like him :)

also, istg if any of you respond to this with "bUt hE was ObseSsED with LiLY and just WAnTEd to FUCK hEr," i'm crawling into your bedroom window with the most unrealistic, mangled interpretations of your favourite characters and making sure they haunt you in your dreams. meet me in the fuckin' pit, babe. reread the series, actually think about it and come with receipts that aren't Voldemort, because i don't think you want to have the same opinion as the character who canonically doesn't understand love, now, do you, sweetheart? when you do that, then, and only then, will i consider entertaining your bullshit :)

that's about it from me, thanks for reading!

#severus snape #pro snape #why do people like snape?#i can't speak for anybody else but here's me #i probably left something out since i haven't written a good essay since my literature exam #but it's fine #let me like my chaotic bastard son in peace please #snape #snapedom

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

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Favourite Fics of 2019

So...I thought that I’d give you all a list of my favourite fanfic’s that I read in 2019! I’ll include the description that was given by the author and then give a brief commentary of my own! Please make sure to not only read the fic, but give it a like and reblog! Give it some of your own comments and too, and follow/tell the author!!

Authors - I’ve got some authors repeated so you might have more than one fic here!

Readers - ...there’s a lot of fics here lol

Welcome To The Underworld by @spookitokki

; Demon/Radio Show Host!Jungkook x Human!Reader

; Synopsis: In a dark little second-hand shop downtown, stuffed in an alleyway you only stumbled into because you were lost, you found a charming antique radio. When you turned it on, it began to play what would become your favorite radio show, “Welcome to the Underworld”

; My Thoughts: I rec’d this fic very recently but I still remember it well. Demon Jungkook is weirdly caring for her despite her being human and him being demon from the Underworld. The reader...well she has no sense of self-preservation honestly haha. I enjoyed everything about this; the smut, the world building, the characterisation and so much more!

Matters Of The Heart by @hobidreams

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: it seems not even the passage of half a decade can diminish the hold of Mr. Jung’s charms on your heart. but the rumors that welcome you home speak of his imminent marriage to an heiress, one who bests you in every infuriating, ‘ladylike’ fashion. just how, then, are you meant to interpret the undeniable sparks of desire in his eyes?

; My Thoughts: I maintain that I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. I think it’s probably like...in my top list of fics all year. It’s just...amazing. The writing feels authentic to the era and the reader is a delightful rebel that we all love from Victorian eras after all. And of course...Mr Jung is just a ridiculously attractive man that I would like very much. Rain is apparently making a follow up drabble AND I AM EXCITED!

An Abundance of Scrunchies by @jhspetitegf

; Single Dad!Hoseok x Kindergarten Teacher!Reader

; Synopsis: ❝hoseok is a hot single dad and you’re the new kindergarten teacher that likes to piss him off❞

; My Thoughts: This series of drabbles has completely stolen my heart. Dae is adorable and the reader is delightful in how she loves her kids. And then there’s Hoseok, the grumpy businessman who’s incredibly rich yet adorably dotes on his daughter and doesn’t get mad at her. It’s just...fluffy and angsty softness. I love it so much, and the smut was...oof. I can’t wait to read more!

Polaris by @junghelioseok

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: somehow, someway, he always returns to you.

; My Thoughts: I MAINTAIN THAT I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH AHHH. It’s so unique and beautifully written, such a delight to read and I enjoy it every time I do. The mixing of the ages throughout the years and how Hoseok evidently has knowledge of their future together but doesn’t tell her. It’s so sweet and yet so organic how they come together. It could be weird and creepy given the difference in ages continuously but it’s not. He’s always a gentleman and it’s just...it’s just wonderful honestly.

Faded Love by @jamaisjoons

; Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you.

; My Thoughts: Okay but like, I still feel the pain and sadness when I read this fic the first time :( the reader’s confusion and pain at being abandoned so thoughtlessly despite her efforts is so hard to read. I still hate Jimin for doing it, and I’m glad that he stopped and realised that he was making a mistake. But poor reader will never be able to fully trust him again and always be worried to some degree :(

Lost And Found 01: Tick Tock by @fortunexkookie

; Peter Pan!Hoseok x Captain Hook!Reader

; Synopsis: The only hope you had at ending your exile and earning your life back came in the form of an infuriating and uncatchable man: Hoseok. He seemed to love the endless game of cat-and-mouse you two played - so much, in fact, that you were unsure if you were the cat or the mouse. What he failed to realize was that there was a third player, and this one wasn’t after him. The Crocodile hunted you with an intensity that rivaled the way you chased Hoseok, but with one difference: the games he played were deadly.

; My Thoughts: Okay so like...a lot of my favourite fics ever this year have been Hoseok based. You’re not surprised, I know you’re not. But this fic is just...I cannot WAIT for the second and third parts of it. The world is so richly realised and the characters have such phenomenal characterisation and development in just this one chapter. It’s so...involving to read, you just get lost in it. It’s truly a beautiful work of art that I can’t wait to see how everything goes!

Jungle Park by @jimlingss

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah…once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

; My Thoughts: I looooooved reading this fic. Jimlingsss is basically why I made Flower a once a week thing, because when I was reading Jungle Park, I was always SO EXCITED for Monday’s because it meant I got to read a new Jungle Park! It’s such a slow burn romance but it’s so delightful and rewarding watching this cold and moody lawyer warm up to his bright and bubbly HR person. And then you learn the backstory between them and...I just loved it all!

Magic and Mysteries by @jimlingss

; Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: Everything’s okay….EVERYTHING’S OKAY, YOU’RE FINE. Look, you just have one tiny problem. It’s an itty-bitty issue. Not that big of a deal. So what if you don’t have a familiar and you’re about to take on the ENTIRE family business. Oh, you have a name to uphold? Everyone’s depending on you? Great. That’s just fantastic. But it’s fine. You’ll get your familiar and you’ll run the best damn potion shop the world has ever seen. Everything will be fine, right?

; My Thoughts: Again, another Jimlingsss story but honestly, they’re always golden. I particularly remember this fic because I read it when I was in Korea. It’s so delightful and fun, reminding me a lot of Kiki’s Delivery Service. Jimin is a little rascal but I love that he teases her because he genuinely cares. It’s all just a truly wonderful fic and story put together in one delightful package.

Love, Guaranteed by @gukyi

; Taehyung x Reader

; Synopsis: with the celestial ball quickly approaching, kim taehyung is horrified to find out that you, his best friend, are dateless. to remedy this, he initiates The Match Project, a matchmaking service designed to find the most optimal date. to you, it’s an opportunity to meet someone else so you can stop pining after your clueless best friend. to him, it’s an opportunity to finally, once and for all, tell you how he feels.

; My Thoughts: I do quite enjoy reading Hogwarts fics, and I particularly enjoying reading Hogwarts fics with BTS as students as long as there’s no smut in it. Gukyi’s Hogwarts series was such a delight to read and I remember reading this fic with a smile on my face. Wanting to scream at reader because POOR TAEHYUNG OBVIOUSLY LOVES YOU. Poor guy trying so hard despite everything :(

Lovers’ Fuck Rule by @prolixitae

; Jungkook x Reader x Hoseok

; Synopsis: jungkook is still new to your established relationship with hoseok, which means he needs a little help feeling competent sometimes. especially when it comes to sex. alternatively, the span of a poly relationship over inaccurate amounts of fucking.

; My Thoughts: Okay look, I don’t do shipping or anything but Junghope is one of the best friendships/combinations there is. And this fic encapsulates why. Jungkook is so nervous with her whereas Hoseok is just...so unbelievably calm and dominant about it all. He knows exactly what gets his girl off and it’s sweet how amused he is by Jungkook. You can feel the slight insecurity almost off Jungkook because Hoseok has been with her for years but you can also feel the genuine love the reader has for him, along with the friendship Hoseok obviously has too. I really enjoyed it all!

Get Wet by @prolixitae

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: sitting in on your boyfriend’s dance practice is probably your biggest kink. it’s also the reason you asked to be so shamelessly fucked in the locker rooms of his dance studio, in spite of the pending consequences. note: this is not an idol-verse fic

; My Thoughts: You know I love Hoseok, and this smut was just...oh my god wow. Bizarrely, I explicitly remember reading it while in the cinema waiting for a film to start haha. TNS Hoseok is amazing though and I really love him. In this fic he’s even more amazing though and I just...god I want him so badly. Urgh, 10/10

Eating For Two by @park-moomin

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: He’ll have a Large

; My Thoughts: ARGH GOD I REMEMBER READING THIS. URGH, what is it about Hoseok that makes the idea of oral sex with him just so...amazing? Actually just any sex. Any at all. I love the idea of him being so...eager and desperate to go down on his girl, particularly when she’s pregnant so that she can still get some pleasure and fun out of it. Also, him cumming in his pants is just...the cherry on top haha

The Devil In His Details by @park-moomin

; Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: Evil comes in many forms. In this instance, it's a 5'8" pretty-boy with an even prettier dick. And you're the form you want him to come in.

; My Thoughts: Lawd, I remember this being one of the hottest smut’s I’ve read in a while and I still stand by that statement. It does make me laugh that this was supposed to be a 1k drabble cos...girl...this length reminds me of me haha. Still, I think Jimin got the blowjob of his life...probably every man’s life here. Well done Jimin, go back for more.

Hot Rod by @kinktae

; Greaser!Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.

; My Thoughts: The whole Rewind series that Rose has been doing but you all know I’m a Hoseok hoe and HOOOOO BOOOOOY GREASER HOSEOK IS SOMETHING ELSE. Everything about this fic was just...wonderful and it felt delightfully 1950s. The lingo and outfits, the cars and everything. It was hot and Hoseok deserves everything. I still kinda hope there’ll be a drabble or something in the future but either way, read this as it’s soooo good!

The Boyfriend Concept by @kpopfanfictrash

; Pornstar!Jimin x Reader

; Synopsis: Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.

; My Thoughts: Shanna always writes some of the best fics on tumblr and this is definitely one of them. You’d think with it being a ‘win a date with a pornstar fic’ that he’d be a little weird or something about it (there’s nothing wrong with pornstars but you can imagine it’d be odd) but Jimin is just...so sweet and kind and polite! He’s just...the perfect boyfriend honestly. It just so happens he does porn too...I honestly loved this so much!

Beneath The Boughs by @gimmesumsuga

; Dryad!Namjoon x Reader

; Synopsis: For almost as long as you can remember, the tree stood opposite your apartment has been a part of your life. Countless memories have been made under the shade of its supple branches, but when its existence comes under threat, you soon discover that your favourite tree is more special to you than you ever could’ve known.

; My Thoughts: I still maintain that this fic is just basically Steph gushing about her love for Namjoon all over the page. It’s just...so sweet and soft. Namjoon makes the perfect dryad and I can easily imagine him being one. He’s such a delightful character who you just want to protect and teach about the world because he has that kind of delightful innoncence. I loved it so much!

Sweeter Than Sweet by @gimmesumsuga

; OT7 X Reader

; Synopsis: You never would have expected someone like Park Jimin to notice you. As handsome and beguiling as he is deadly, you’re enthralled from the very moment you meet. Addicted to his kiss and his bite, Jimin opens up your eyes to a whole new world of love, lust and seduction.

; My Thoughts: This is like...the OG OT7 fic. The one that EVERYONE should read. It’s so close to finishing and I’m kind of mind boggled that it’s going to finish. It’s just...perfection. Jimin is delightful and Yoongi is sweet, it’s just so perfect, I love it all. Namjoon is still a dick, sorry Steph. I also maintain that I’m secretly marrying Hoseok. Everyone go read it and strap yourselves in for a long ride!

Bump In The Night by @fortunexkookie

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: You’d spent countless nights terrified of the beast that lurked in the shadows, but as it would turn out, the monster haunting your home wasn’t a monster all. He was just a boy, and the only crime he’d ever committed was daring to love a girl from a different world.

; My Thoughts: Arrrrghhhhonaeouthnoetahnouenth this fic is just....perfect. I love it SO MUCH. Hoseok is a genuine monster in this, not just someone who thinks he is. He looks like a monster. But he’s a monster who gets a best friend in the reader and who slowly falls in love with her. I SWEAR MY HEART DIED WHEN THE THING HAPPENED :( Poor Hoseok, my sweet boy. But then...the end! And I was like ‘waaah’ I mean, I don’t know how she’s gonna live there but...I have hope for this odd couple because their love survived a lot <333

One Thing Right by @hobios

; Jungkook x Reader

; Synopsis: “i’ve been wrong about a million times, but i’ve got one thing right.”

or, desperate to get your ailing mother into the best care possible, you ask your childhood friend turned enemy to marry you for his health insurance benefits. the only problem is it’s illegal. and he’s the sheriff. and you swore to hate him since the day he broke your best friend’s heart.

; My Thoughts: Ahh...this is such a well written fic and I enjoy it so much. Jungkook has such good characterisation in it and you can feel that the readers heart is in the right place! I really like it and it reads so well, like it actually reads like a legitimate novel tbh!

Wall To Wall by @winetae

; Pornstar!Hoseok x Pornstar!Reader

; Synopsis: Temporary popularity is the biggest threat to your career right now. Without a solid core fan base you’re doomed to be forgotten. If not now, then in a month or two, and if not then, surely by the end of the year. That’s how quickly the adult film industry cycles through their actors, especially when you’re a woman. Your agent comes forward with a proposition to help put you back on the map.

; My Thoughts: Okay look...this fic is just great. I’m eagerly anticipating the second part because the first was just written so well. It’s so unique in that the readers already has a boyfriend, Jimin, who is not only okay with her being a pornstar but is the one who films her! But then you’ve got Hoseok, the new guy on the block who’s ridiculously good. The sex is just...it feels so realistic and like it’s two people in a relationship having sex and not just being filmed on camera. God I want them together lol

Club Zombie by @floralseokjin

; Seokjin x Reader

; Synopsis: In a world overrun by zombies, you’d think everyone was a goner, but the reality is much different. A steady diet of brains lets a zombie exist as a fully functioning human. Just ignore the part where they’re technically dead… In fact, these days, the amount of zombies outweigh the humans. A lot jump at the chance to be turned. Beg for it.

Kim Seokjin controls the underground of Seoul. No one would dare cross him. That’s how most of the world goes these days. You wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of a zombie now, would you? However, you don’t quite see it like that. Spending most nights dancing at the club he owns, you catch his eye. It’s never the wrong side if you’re underneath him, right…?

; My Thoughts: Look...I still can’t believe I read a fic with zombie sex and that I actively WANTED to read a fic with zombie sex lol. But disregarding that, it’s still phenomenally written and the world is built up so well! I loved reading this and it didn’t feel as long as it’s word count. The characters were interesting with little tidbits being thrown out there that made you a little more interested in their history.

Defining Heaven by @akinnie75

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: “If I try to fly, will I make it to heaven, or will I fall straight down? But what exactly is heaven?” It’s a question that’s been in Hoseok’s mind a lot after cutting ties with his parents and ending his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Dreaming is his fear, but you tell him that it’s not as scary as he thinks it is. Even in the depths of his own despair, you reach your hand out, but will he take it?

; My Thoughts: At this point, I think I just love anything by this author. But this fic was so...real and beautiful. The connection between two people who want more from life and deserve from life, who are both stuck. Hoseok’s story is heart breaking and getting to see him slowly come to life and learn to care for himself again was beautiful, while seeing the reader getting to care for herself by caring for him was just beautiful as well.

Florescence by @jincherie

; Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader x Hybrid!Seokjin

; Synopsis: Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin… You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but… maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

; My Thoughts: I love this story so much :333 it’s such an interesting twist on hybrid’s in that there are ones who get discarded because they’re ‘defective’. It’s horrible to think about and I just want to love both of them. Jin is so...sweet and he tries so hard, being the one to put himself out there with the reader because Taehyung is just a sweet and shy bub. Seeing them come to life slowly is so rewarding!

Moon Magic by @jincherie

; Merman!Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: You’ve never paid much mind to the moon, but you quickly learn that even though you’ve never really thought of the her, she has always watched over you. What better to heal an grieving heart, than the luminous, rippling magic of the moon? And maybe a merman, or two. You know, for good measure.

; My Thoughts: I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH AND I KNOW THAT YOU WROTE FOR ME AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I STILL LOVE IT. Hoseok is such a sweetheart and it’s adorable that you can see he’s falling in love much faster than she’s falling in love with him :333 the world is so realised, even though it’s just an island and everything is just...so perfect!

We Float by @lamourche

; Massage Therapist!Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: Might as well get this over with. You sigh and raise your hand to knock, steeling yourself for patchouli and shell necklaces. The door opens. A face peers out at you. There’s no beard, no long shaggy hair. For a moment, you wish he did walk around shirtless. He’s handsome. He’s taller than you, with brown hair that almost falls into his eyes and undercut on the sides. Warm brown eyes and a cute nose. It’s fucking cute his nose. He’s wearing cargo shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and white crocs. Well, that’s better. He’s still handsome and his kind eyes make you want to confess some prior sin, but it’s easy to scowl at a guy in white crocs.

; My Thoughts: This is still such a wonderful and beautiful fic. Hoseok’s agoraphobia is dealt with tactfully and he’s not magically cured by the end, but it’s so lovely to see that he’s willing to try and combat it a little more because he loves her. And she loves him, accepting him as he is and not pushing for more than he’s willing to give!

Tip 143 by @minflix

; Hoseok x Reader

; Synopsis: Even though he is everything you find attractive in a man, your friend and co-worker Jung Hoseok is just exactly that - a friend and co-worker. For some reason, you have never found yourself attracted to him even though all the girls and guys around you go absolutely crazy for him.But that all changes for you one night while scrolling through Heart2Heart, a sex live cam website…

; My Thoughts: AHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHH. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HOSEOK FICS ON THIS WHOLE SITE. It’s so wonderfully written and I adore reading it, even re-reading it. Hoseok is so funny and just...so light hearted. He’s not hugely bothered about anything and the way he goes along wtih the reader and even helps her to film her videos, even going so far as to...well going for her ;). And yet they both just think that they’re friends when nope, you’re idiots because you LOVE EACH OTHER. I genuinely love it so much, always a favourite and will remain close to my heart <333

See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix

; Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok

; Synopsis: You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

; My Thoughts: This couple...is perfect. I love them so much, they’re so well suited to each other. Rich brats who despite being rich and snobby, all genuinely love each other so much. Poor Namjoon when he felt like he’d been left out. <333 it’s okay Joonie, they both love you. I read this while I was in Korea and it just...made an impact. I want them all to live happily ever after with each other x-x

Euphoria by @btssavedmylifeblr

; Jungkook x Reader

; Synopsis: At the end of your life, you are given one day to live again with the man you loved. A lifetime’s love story told in a single day.

; My Thoughts: THIS IS THE SADDEST YET SWEETEST FIC EVER. Oh my god, it’s just...it’s so unbelievably bittersweet. Their love for each other and how she KNOWS that she’s dying and she’ll never see him again. How much she throws herself into the day with him and how much he clearly loves her. She knows they have their whole life set out for them and it’s just...wonderful...honestly.

Off The Deep End by @boymeetsweevil

; Merman!Yoongi x Reader

; Synopsis: Your new mermaid friend, Yoongi, helps you navigate the treacherous waters of love, sex, and National Geographic.

; My Thoughts: Ngl, the main thing I remember from this? It’s beautifully written and also fish dick lmao. But seriously, it’s a great fic to read and watching Yoongi get to experience the human world is a delight. It’s very unique in how it’s written and the biology and culture of merfolk. A definite recommendation for everyone!

#fic recs #fic recommendations #readyplayerhobi's fic recs #2019 fic recs

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foxoftheasterisk · 4 years ago

Note

Don't apologize. That anon was being a pretentious dick. The Prince of Egypt is a STORY, and it can be criticized or discussed just like any other story. Besides, "demon" is a pretty accurate description of the judeo-christian god

hmmmm

leaving aside the last sentence which I'm not touching with a standard issue adventurer's ten foot pole;

you have a point but i can't fully agree. like you need to have respect when discussing a story that's more important to another culture and what i actually wrote - my intentions aside - wasn't respectful!

anon may have also been overly judgemental over this single infraction, but like. i get it. I stand by my apology (if not the subsequent freak out).

i would be more inclined to side with you had i actually explained my thought process before anon showed up, but as i didn't what i wrote could easily be interpreted as far more hostile!

i would like to hear from anon again, if they should see this.

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kallypsowrites · 6 years ago

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Braime moments 8x04

Alright, I’ve been waiting for what happened in this episode to happen since I was eighteen and watching season three for the first time. That’s six years my dudes. So I’m not going to let the tragic ending spoil it for me. We’re gonna talk about all the little Braime moments.

1. The drinking game

- Jaime was at Brienne’s side the whole damn time from the funeral to the party and onward. He’s practically glued to her. Even his solo scene with Tyrion involved him talking about Brienne

- The way he rests his hand over hers when she lays it over her cup, as if to encourage her to let loose and have fun. But also just...that hand touch. Mirrors that scene in season three when he keeps her from pulling a knife on Roose Bolton

- The smiles. FUCK the SMILES. They are just openly grinning at each other. No boundaries at all. They are happy to have survived. They are smiling and laughing and no longer guarded as they were for most of their relationship.

- Brienne has, in general, never been this happy or dorky. Every one of Brienne’s little looks and smiles when she’s drunk. Spectacular.

- Jaime clearly remembers like...everything Brienne has ever told him because he’s able to guess things so easily during the game. Also they’re still bantering “I told you that” “no you didn’t” “I DID”. So cute.

- When Tyrion makes the “you’re a virgin” statement and Brienne becomes guarded, Jaime tries to misdirect his brother because he knows that it’s going to be a rough subject for her. He’s got hella protective instincts.

- When Tormund comes up and starts talking and Jaime rolls his eyes. Bonus, Brienne continues to be very unenthused by Tormund.

- Tormund tries to follow Brienne when she is in a vulnerable place and Jaime puts himself physically in between them. Like...in a fight, Tormund could kick his ass, but he still goes ‘not today, my dude’. And that smile and shoulder pat. That’s the most passive aggressive ‘sit the fuck down’ I’ve ever seen.

- Tyrion pouring Tormund a drink with that sassy look like ‘nice try, but you aren’t gonna get in the way of MY new ship.

The SCENE

- Jaime followed Brienne right after she left, but he obviously doesn’t immediately knock, which leads me to believe the idiot was pacing the hall nervously, having no idea what the fuck he is doing.

- When Brienne opens the door, you see a moment of panic on both of their faces. Brienne “fuck he’s at my door” Tarth and Jaime “oh god, she actually opened the door” Lannister.

- Jaime’s absolutely disaster flirting. Trying to use the drinking game as an excuse. The fact that he’s clearly tipsy and nervous. Mumbling under his breath and stuff. He doesn’t even seem to know why he’s come there, but here he is.

- Brienne having no idea what to do with this situation, because man, she never thought they’d be at this point

- Jaime finding the room hot because he is genuinely nervous. Jerking off his jacket and throwing it to the side.

- Jaime kind of sarcastically complimenting her (reverting to their old dynamic) and Brienne not taking that crap with her ‘piss off’. And yet it’s so much less aggressive than their old dynamic because they do trust each other now.

- Jaime getting closer to her with ‘I hate the fucking north’ and Brienne standing her ground.

- Jaime’s “I don’t want things growing on me” even though we see, clearly, that Brienne is growing on Jaime.

- The fucking Jaime jealousy, oh my GOD. “Is Tormund Giantsbane growing on you” and Brienne giving him a look like ‘fucking seriously. Does it look like he’s growing on me?’

- “You sound quite jealous”--even as Brienne says it, you can see she is so confused by it because, holy shit, she’s never had anyone be jealous over HER before.

- Jaime realizing that yes, he does sound jealous and then immediately saying ‘god its hot in here’. He’s such a disaster. Completely incapable of seducing anyone. What a dork.

- Jaime struggling with his shirt and Brienne getting fed up and helping him. The surprised look Jaime gives her when she does. It’s so fucking vulnerable.

- He just instinctively starts undoing her shirt as well, but stops when she stops him. Excellent.

- “What are you doing?” “Taking off your shirt” --oh my god, you’re both such disasters at this. I love you.

- The fact that Brienne stops him and for a split second he wonders if she is going to reject him and he has a very worried look on his face. But then she starts undoing her own shirt and the look turns to ‘oh fuck, we’re doing this, aren’t we?’

- How she helps him out of his shirt and they just don’t say anything. I love how much they can communicate in silence.

- “I’ve never slept with a knight before”--Jaime, you’ve only ever been with your sister, but also, the fact that you call her a knight is just fucking adorable.

- “I’ve never slept with anyone before” --Brienne emphasizing that this is a very big deal for her. They’re both standing around slightly awkwardly because they really never thought they’d get to this point.

- The kiss itself. Oh boy, I gotta talk about the kiss. First of all, I LOVE that Jaime is the one who initiates it. I also love had goddamn hungry it is. Like this man has been holding himself back from this moment and suddenly, his resistance has snapped and he’s just going for it. There’s a desperation there that really speaks to what a long slow burn this has been between them. And the fact that Brienne just immediately starts kissing him back. And his hand on the side of her face. Ugh. It’s not perfect. It’s messy. But so is their relationship, I love this moment so much.

Afterwards

- Jaime looks conflicted after they have sex, but I mean, of course he does. He loves Brienne but this is the first time he’s ever loved anyone other than his sister. And this is the beginning of him doubting if he is worthy of her.

- The fact that Jaime was going to straight up stay in the north with Brienne. That was his plan. This wasn’t a ‘rebound and leave immediately’ thing. He really was intending to stay. He even said as much to Tyrion.

- Sansa defs knows that Jaime and Brienne are together lol

- His conversation with Tyrion and Tyrion is just so fucking happy for him. Like, Jaime is expecting some sort of snide comment but Tyrion is elated that he’s with someone who isn’t his sister. And he makes tall jokes.

- The fact that Jaime tells Tyrion to, essentially, fuck off when he tries to ask crude details, because he respects Brienne

- Ser Bronn approves of his ship being canon. Also say “it must be like looking in a mirror” which emphasizes that Jaime and Cersei might be twins, but Jaime and Brienne are soul twins with twin swords. Aaaaahhhh

The Scene of Heartbreak

- Alright, I want to pretend this didn’t happen, but I’m not yet losing hope based on my interpretation so here we go. UP UNTIL Jaime heard news about Cersei in the war (which was probably after a month in the north) he had no plans to go south and was content staying with Brienne. This is important to remember. He was never using her or trying to use her as a rebound.

- Jaime’s motivation for leaving is ambiguous, but it clearly tears him apart. Also, he and Brienne were staying in the SAME ROOM and SLEEPING TOGETHER for like a MONTH and who wants to write fanfic about that? Please and thank you.

- When Jaime is going, he tries not to even look at Brienne because he does not want to see the hurt on her face. He cares about hurting her.

- How Brienne grabs his face and forces him to look and how surprised and heartbroken he looks.

- He puts a hand on hers, clinging on for a moment, very tempted to stay.

- Brienne’s vulnerability. It shows how close they have grown and got Gwen’s acting just breaks my fucking heart. She deserves better than this.

- Jaime tells Brienne his sins. For one thing, I think he does this to make her not come after him so that she will stay safe. If Cersei finds out about Brienne, she will kill her. Better Brienne stay in the north. But also, he wants Brienne to realize that he is not worthy of her. That she can do better. That he’s not a good man and he doesn’t think he deserves happiness. He thinks his only chance at redemption is death.

- I think Jaime has one of two motivations. Either he sees that Cersei might very well win and he has to stop her, or he just knows that Brienne is better off without him and that he can’t escape his old life. Both are tragic but neither lessen his love for Brienne. I don’t think he has an ‘addiction to Cersei’. He’s just so used to feeling like trash ever since he became a King’s slayer. He doesn’t know how to leave that life.

Again, I fully think leaving Brienne sobbing was a dick move, but his motivation makes sense. We’ll have to wait to see what D&D do with his arc. Either it’s in character and he dies a hero or D&D are idiots and I ignore their writing decisions and pretend Jaime never left. Still, there were so many good moments this episode, and it would be a shame not to enjoy them because of this last scene.

#game of thrones #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #braime #jaime x brienne #brienne x jaime #got spoilers

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halfgap · 6 years ago

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Some extensive, tangly headcanons / extrapolations of canon regarding Beau and her parents under the cut... extremely wordy and still not Complete (I always have more to say about this kid!)

I doubt her family is anything akin to nobility or aristocracy. Sure, they own a winery in Kamordah (a town renowned for its fine wines) but from Beau’s comments about her father’s desperation to impress the Empire higher-ups, I get the sense that Beau’s parents are sorta the Wildemount equivalent of ‘New Money’. They accrued their wealth through being very industrious and growing their business into something presumably quite successful, but despite being financially secure her father more than anything still wants very badly to gain the respect of More Important People.

Beau says her father “made a lot of sacrifices” in an effort to impress those people, and tbh that could mean anything from “devoted his time to brown-nosing and working instead of to his family” to “literally selling out close friends/family to the Reapers to gain Empire goodwill.” He also probably let the Crownsguard deal with some of Beau’s law-breaking in the past instead of bailing her out, considering Beau’s strong personal reaction to Toya being left with the Crownsguard.

I’m thinking her father is a very intelligent guy who values book smarts a lot. Marisha’s implied on Talks that he made Beau study a lot of crap (even before the Cobalt Soul) which he insisted would be valuable, and Beau is kind of pissed whenever that education actually does come in handy during her adventures today. I think her knee-jerk rebellion against All Things To Do With Her Father is why Beau insists that she hates studying, hates books and history, is TOTALLY a jock and NOT A NERD AT ALL, even though it’s become apparent that her natural curiosity does extend to a lot of nerdy things and she retained a lot of useful stuff from her studies. She loves learning, period, but it’s that thing where you don’t want to enjoy something that your asshole parents forced on you since a young age.

From a meta perspective, abusive parents are too often depicted as ignorant & uneducated with nothing of value to offer to their kids. In reality, perfectly intelligent + highly educated people can still VERY MUCH be abusive. They can have good taste in books or music, they can instill some savvy business acumen in their kids, etc.. Beau likely owes a lot of her education & cunning to her dad. Part of him probably did have her best interests at heart. That doesn’t mean he’s any less of an abusive shithead.

As far as I remember, Beau’s never actually said she hated her parents. There’s clearly a lot of resentment & anger there, but she also makes a lot of excuses for her parents: she says her father’s “not a bad person,” says he could have even been a good father if he made different choices, repeatedly calls him “protective” (as opposed to “horribly controlling and overbearing,” which I think is more accurate tbh), and admits several times that she herself was “a rebellious dick” and how that contributed to her parents’ rejection of her. Beau doesn’t hate her parents and hasn’t claimed to hate them; I’d wager instead that she cares about them despite everything and *still* craves their acceptance and approval (something Marisha supports on Talks). The bulk of Beau’s feelings toward her parents are HURT, not HATRED.

That just makes her whole situation a lot sadder, imo. In ep.1 she comes off as a rebellious drifter who ran away from her rich asshole parents, but in fact she’s a rebellious drifter w/ nowhere to go because she was utterly rejected by her parents *twice*. She disagrees with everything they stand for & won’t change herself any more for them, but she no doubt still cares about them (god, it’s her very nature to care deeply about Everything she touches); she’s just utterly convinced that they don’t give a single damn about her.

Somewhat related- as a child, at least, Beau did try to be what her parents wanted. This is made apparent by Marisha’s playlist commentary and some of her TM answers. Moreover, Beau has the ‘Prodigy’ feat, which I bet only stoked her parents’ expectations of her, expectations that kid!Beau would naturally strive to meet. But as Marisha rightly points out, when someone’s held to an impossible standard like that of the “The Perfect Daughter,” eventual rebellion is inevitable. From personal experience, I can say after trying so hard for so long, failure is addictive. Once Beau gave up trying to be the perfect, obedient kid who was still never enough, she probably found comfort in and clung deeply to her new role as the Problem Child, the Disappointment, the Slacker.

This always confused me but... Beau was only w/ the Cobalt Soul in Zadash for a few months. It’s possible she was at some other training monastery prior to that, but from Marisha’s early-campaign TM comments about “suddenly & recently becoming a monk” and a lot of other confusing shit Beau’s said, it sounds like Beau was only with the Cobalt Soul during that short time she was in Zadash...? And I can’t imagine it’s been THAT long between her running away, and her meeting Fjord and Jester in Game 0. Zeenoth still seems familiar enough with her when finding her in Ep.4 that I think Beau probably only ran away a few months to a year ago, at most? (Enough time for Beau to have wandered through a lot of places in the Empire at least, since she says in Ep. 8 or so that she’s traveled a lot within the country.) Beau is currently 22 or 23, so working backwards, that means Beau was abducted by the Cobalt Soul when she was probably 20 or 21. A young adult. Not a rebellious teen getting sent to boarding school.

I guess it might make sense that an unmarried young daughter is still in the authority of her parents at that age (although gender politics in Exandria have always been ‘???’ and sorta inconsistently represented so...) But it’s more significant that Beau stayed, living under her parents’ roof, doing the bookkeeping for the winery... I don’t know if she was staying purely to continue profiting off her bootlegging operation w/ her family’s wine, or if because even after all that Teen Rebellion she never fully escaped her parents’ influence over her and her own buried desire to earn their respect/affection. I’d say it’s leaning towards the latter, with her using the former as an excuse to herself (or maybe the thought of leaving just. Never even really occurred to her. Which I wouldn’t be shocked by tbh.) Either way I think it’s interesting that she herself never left that small town she hated & that family she resented, until her dad blatantly kicked her out via monk abduction.

I don’t know where I’m going with this other than saying that Beau is a twisty, painful mess of contradiction who nevertheless makes deep sense to me (& hopefully others) in a way impossible to articulate...?

uh I meant to talk more about her mom but prior to more recent episodes the only thing we knew of her is when Beau said “My mother always said nothing in life is free.” Now we also know she gave birth to a son Very Late & once wouldn’t let Beau have a pet rat, but Beau’s overall difficulty with/reluctance to talk about her mother can mean a lot of different things. Two possible interpretations are : a) in some twisted way Beau was a lot closer to her dad, as in... he was a bigger influence on her, more involved in her life and thus in more conflict with her, and her mom has always been more a footnote.. or b) maybe Beau actually had a more.. tender relationship with her mom than she did with her dad (not saying much tbh) which only made her ultimate rejection sting 100x worse to the point that Beau hates even thinking or talking about it.

You could go a lot wilder with the theories here (maybe her mom was the ‘bad direction’ that misguided her dad..? etc) but I think the above two are most reasonable and what I usually go with right now for the sake of simplicity

As for Beau’s personal hang-up with tarot cards, and the (possibly unrelated, but probably related) Mysterious Beliefs of her dad that made him so “protective” and intent on isolating her... that shit is too open-ended and I can’t land on a solid theory yet asjdjsljfjf

Also very conflicted about the whole MY PARENTS WANTED A SON thread but I won’t get into that here

I’m Very Behind on CR and have only caught clips and tidbits of episodes 43 onwards so please talk to me about Beau and let me know if there’s any other interesting hints she’s dropped in recent episodes or if any new info has contradicted these long-held, rambly inferences I just listed

#nobody asked for this but me #beauregard #critical role #i just spend a lot of time trying to parse this kid's family situation #but generally this is how i approach things in every fic i write

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mittensmorgul · 7 years ago

Note

do you think it's open to interpretation whether dean and cas are in love with each other? Like is it just as valid an interpretation to say they're not? Whenever anyone calls destiel "one interpretation" or whatever, my hackles rise. And I know I'm overly sensitive about this stuff, being a gay and whatnot, but I mean, is it? Am I just insecure because my otp isn't canon, or is destiel really more valid than other readings or what? What do you think?

Hi there. :)

I’m gonna give you the diplomatic, academic answer, and then I’m gonna give you the grumpy-ass queer lady answer. Hold on to your horses. :)

Polite answer:

All media is open to interpretation. Of course, this doesn’t mean that all interpretations are equally valid, or equally supported by canon, especially when taken in context of the entire body of the work in question.

For example, I replied to a post the other day about 13.17, and that scene where Dean and Sam are-- on first glance-- rather disrespectful of the extremely rare and valuable books in the bunker... but in context of the rest of the episode and the rest of the season, that montage wasn’t about disrespecting those books at all. It had less than nothing to do with the books themselves as objects or as sources of knowledge that should be properly cared for and respected. But out of context it kinda looks that way. So, based on that one short gif set, it might seem like a perfectly legitimate interpretation to suggest that Sam and Dean were careless with the immense knowledge and invaluable books they’ve found themselves in possession of. But in the larger context of their entire history, of all their interactions with the bunker and the untold store of knowledge it holds, and with the context of the specific reasons for their frustration in that particular scene, it seems obvious that there’s a lot more to the story, you know?

You could technically argue just about any weird headcanon can be supported by canon. I wrote this weird little post right after 12.11 aired, and it sat in my drafts for a good long time before I finally posted it. But there’s nothing in canon that legit quashes the possibility that endgame fish!Cas is where the story’s been headed all along. He’s positively swimming in fish metaphors. (sorry, I couldn’t resist) Does that abundance of fish, fishing imagery, and water imagery that have surrounded Cas for years lend itself to a literal interpretation? I mean, it’s definitely AN interpretation that is there if you want to see it, and if in your heart of hearts you believe it’s legitimately what the storytelling is attempting to convey here. But does that make it a valid interpretation that deserves serious consideration? Does it truly make sense when taking the larger story around Cas as a whole? Or is it obviously a literary theme that we’re supposed to consider through the themes traditionally associated with fish and fishing as used in countless other fictional works of the past? I suppose that sort of interpretation has been left open for us to take or leave as we see fit. It invites us to examine those references more closely, to help us understand Cas as a character and the journey his personal character arc is taking him through. It gives his experiences and growth a depth of context that is there to explore if we so choose.

(for more on Cas vs Fish, please see my tags regarding “The Fisher King.” I like to think there’s a more well-reasoned and logical line of thinking for pinning so much fish to Cas than my cracky example of fish!Cas would suggest.)

Now, looking at destiel specifically, if you take any single moment out of context, it’s absolutely possible to make an interpretation that their relationship is clearly more “brotherly,” or clearly more “familial,” or clearly one of “very close friends.” But it requires the same removal from the larger context to explain away what taken with the entirety of their history begins to look entirely undeniable.

I suppose, since Supernatural is an open canon and the story hasn’t been fully told yet, that it’s possible the writers could change course with the storytelling. It’s possible that something might prevent them from taking Dean and Cas and their story to the conclusion they’ve been building to for the last ten years. They could decide to leave this particular “interpretation” open-ended and unresolved.

Since that is always a possibility, and because I’m not psychic, nor do I have any top secret inside information from the writers and showrunners, I can’t say that my particular interpretation is more valid or correct or likely than anyone else’s. But I have yet to come up against a credible, coherent explanation for the entire body of extant canon that invalidates my particular interpretation, either.

The vast majority of arguments against boil down to logical fallacies-- cherry-picking scenes out of context as “proof,” straw man arguments, and ad hominem attacks. Because of this, I’m content to wait for canon to play out. I’ll happily watch the rest of the story unfold, and happily continue to interpret what I’m witnessing as a whole instead of attempting to dissect it out and explain away what I see as an entirely logical progression of storytelling.

As an aside here, I find it entirely fascinating that one of the most common complaints I read from people who deny Dean and Cas are in love is that the writing has become progressively more terrible, that the story of Supernatural as a whole makes less and less sense, and that the characters are behaving in increasingly “out of character” ways. And as someone in possession of rational capabilities, I wonder if their disconnect from the storytelling is simply their refusal to see and accept that perhaps their “interpretation” of the story is just... not correct.

When we attempt to deny or rationalize away certain interpretations of characterization, or certain progressions of events and how they relate to one another, the larger narrative just falls apart, you know? Of course it doesn’t make sense if you exclude large portions of it because you don’t want to see it or believe it’s happening, or important to the story.

Meanwhile, I’m over here loving every minute of it (okay... most minutes of it). So even if my interpretation isn’t absolutely 100% “correct” (and really, with any media, there’s always different ways to interpret everything, from what the color of the curtains might imply to who’s gonna get to fire Chekhov’s Gun in the third act), I’m content to continue to interpret it in a way that not only makes me personally happiest, but in a way that makes the story itself seem both logical and entertaining, as well.

Okay, that’s the end of the rational portion of this essay. Now on to the angry queer lady portion:

There’s more canon evidence for Dean and Cas being in love, or at the very least caring for one another to ridiculous, rather mind-numbing degrees, than there is for practically every canon heterosexual couple on television in the last fifty years. Think of any slow burn, will they-won’t they hetero couple, and do the point-by-point checklist of all the tropes they burned through before they got to the love declarations and the kissing and the happily ever afters (or worse, the dramatic breaking up and getting back together, or even worse, the tragically breaking up forever). I challenge anyone to name one hetero-presenting couple who required as many love tropes for audiences to recognize and acknowledge they were in love. Yeah, I’m thinking of that whole “they shared a pencil” post.

So yeah, there is likely a measure of heteronormativity to it, and a lot of the arguments against also devolve into rather gross denouncements that there’s no way Dean’s not straight, because he said so that one time... Mr. “I lie professionally” who also never actually said he was straight... gah... I’m not gonna dig up every ancient meta post on the subject. If anyone is legitimately interested in understanding why making those same tired arguments just doesn’t have any legitimacy in a reasoned discussion, they can damn well do their own digging. It’s not like any of the evidence is difficult to uncover, and it’s not my job to spoon feed it to every naysayer myself.

I feel like I’m standing on a Mt. Everest size pile of rational, reasonable, well-argued analysis supporting the claim that Dean and Cas are in love. *stands back and points at my whole entire blog again* If anyone would like to come back at me with something even remotely worth my time and attention to persuade me to alter my interpretation, I suggest they get busy. I’ll just be up here on top of my mountain enjoying the clean, destiel-scented air up here.

And finally, who says it’s not canon? Ah, right. Moving goalposts. At this point, I think it’s ridiculous to suggest that Dean and Cas don’t love one another. And profoundly, at that. I mean, you don’t give up an army for one guy if you don’t at least like him a lil bit. You don’t shout down God begging him to bring back that dude you’re kinda buddies with, or sink into a suicidal funk that reverses completely within minutes of finding out said buddy’s alive again. You don’t offer to march to your death with your chum because he’s such a nice guy and all. I mean... honestly. How far in denial does someone have to be to suggest they don’t love each other? At this point, when comparing Sam and Dean’s reactions far into s13 to Cas’s death in 12.23, either you accept that Dean has much stronger and far different feelings about the loss of someone that Sam does love and considers a brother, or else you kinda have to assume that Sam’s just kind of a dick for not being as broken up about Cas’s death as Dean is. So... which interpretation do you think is the one they’re trying to convey?

Bleh, whatever. I await the inevitable inbox full of nastiness that I will cheerfully delete while judging every anon who sends it as someone who really should find a better hobby than antagonizing strangers on the internet over a work of fiction.

Anon, basically, don’t let the bastards grind you down, okay?

Now for some reason I feel like listening to Achtung Baby. Imma go do that and feel the love.

#destiel #the scheherazade of supernatural #btw for anyone who still feels the need to antagonize destiel shippers #that tag would be the one for you to find a lot of that content you'll need to actually address in order for anyone to take you seriously #Anonymous

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tedfashionski · 5 years ago

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Finking, Finking.

Hi, welcome to my ted talk. (That is the only time I will ever make that joke. This is Fashionski Finks. Expect radically low standards of self-involved rantiness with zero research or accountability from here on out). For a while there I seriously thought that the covid-19 quarantine was going to result in people being increasingly placid and accepting of creeping extensions of the police state. But here I am, getting depressed again, not about the protests, which I love, but more about my relationship to in-group pressure dynamics. One of the problems with being a relentless contrarian is the discomfort of my impulse to rebel against groups even when they’re championing the right thing. I have to find my own way to fight against the system as an outsider. No gods, no masters, no fucking peer pressure. I’ll never be happy joining a chorus line. I don’t sign fucking petitions (they’re just lists for the NSA). I do donate, but like fuck will I do it performatively. I can’t go to protests cus I get panic attacky in crowds. I empathise pretty strongly with outsiders of all stripes but believe ridiculously excessively in the public good of criticism, and have a nostalgic love of trolling (I like to think I’m gentle with it though). Bring back the troll! We need that fucker, he’s a sign of a healthy internet. I’m writing this blog thing as an extension of my need to vent my extreme negativity. TBH I never expected to get any followers with ted twitter and the bizarre welcomingness of the hf twitter community totally wrongfooted me. I’m not nice. Ted isn’t meant to likable. He’s my dark side. I was meant to be using this alt as a way to terrorise the nice nice (secretly cruel) fashion people. I’m gunna try and up that aspect more. Just bear in mind, my complaints are largely about the system, but if I see you perpetuating fashion’s entrenched anti-intellectualism or its insidery bullshit, I’ll come for you with a little meta-bomb with your name on it. Maintaining my misanthropic tone does take work tho, like, deep down in some twisted part of my psyche, I guess I do actually want to be liked. It’s fucked up.

I suppose it’s only fair to explain this Ted fursona. Like, new concept, who dis? Why all the furry porn? …..because I just think it’s hilarious. Every time I think about the furries I cackle (not at them, mind). I just love the mad corruption of pure Disney aesthetics into hardcore pornography. That’s anti-authoritarian as fuck. I love the sincerity of their culture. The way the crazy fetish aspect means they’ll never be fully blandified by mainstream acceptance. The way it’s so cringe but so delightful. And more seriously, I’m interested in how a culture of mostly gay male nerds developed to the point where they’ll invest 10k in custom fursuits and support eachother’s independent businesses in ways that the fashion community completely fails to do. The fashion world sucks. There’s so many correlations there that I want to investigate: the newness (furries date from around the 70s, fashion culture in its self-aware state dates from the late 19th C – both very young fields); the centralisation/decentralisation; the hierarchy (furries can be pretty catty, I have discovered in my research, and we all know what fashion people are like); the adoption of new identities; the cis-boy gayness aspect (I’m increasingly tired of the extreme nasty hierarchy of certain CSM queens. It’s all very UGH. Just, fuck those particular bitches.) There’s more to the furry love, but I’ll explore it in future posts.

More importantly, why Ted fucking Kaczynski? I’m not like, actually a terrorist. (….yet. tehehe. NO, seriously I like non-maiming violence. Fuck yeah to property damage. Fuck yeah to disabling the system in extreme way. But no to wooden IEDs. Think of my shitty jokes that fail to land as my hand-crafted bombs). I think I like the shitness of Ted. He was just an epic fail of a terrorist. I’m a little white girl living in London. I’m not actually a primitivist, as much as I crave a hut in the woods. I did go to an elite school though. I had some really shitty experiences in the fashion industry in my early 20s, and I watch my friends who are relatively successful in that system and I get so angry on their behalf at their poor treatment. They think I’m too angry. Fuck that. They should be more angry, and the fact that they can’t be angry at their extreme precarity and the fact they’re still insecure and terrified of being ejected by the system after all their investment and skills they’ve built up is BULLSHIT. I’ll be double angry for them, I’m not invested in that system. I don’t need it to pay my rent. I’m free, motherfuckers, and I’m coming for the abusers and exploiters. If you’re a complacent industry figure not fighting hard from within, uggghhhhh fuck you. Yes, YOU. Soooo, I relate pretty hard to the MK ultra stuff. (go look him up, he was basically tortured and experimented upon by the elite). But there’s a pretty big chasm between my views and his, and I’ll try to be clear about the extent of my interest in his extreme beliefs. I haven’t even finished reading the manifesto. Basically, I watched that shitty show on Netflix with sam worthington around the same time I watched Joker (that movie fucked me up) and thought it’d be a good outlet to larp online as a terrorist. There’s the angry white alt-right school shooter aspect, which I’m still figuring out, cus I’m non-binary and I was raised by nutso trumpy right-wingers, who I barely speak to anymore, and I struggle to get along with people generally. There’s sad, self-pitying rage here. I empathise with the angry white dudes too much. I feel guilty about it. That’s good ground for artmaking (yes, shamefully, this…is…art. Sorry). I modelled this fursona a little after my brother, who I spent years living with and arguing with and trying to lift out of his scary racist youtube rabbit holes. This is actually quite an emotional thing for me, cus I did the ‘talk to your fascist family’ thing. And I completely failed. I realised his right-winginess wasn’t lessening, I wasn’t gaining ground, and in fact my excessive empathy and desire to reach out to the relative most similar to me in character meant his extremism was rubbing off on me. Making me more resentful and depressed. Feeling powerless. I was being too kind-hearted and forgiving of his masculine impotence. So I’m exploring some personal shit here. But Ted is also a cute lil fuzzball teddy bear. He means well, but me being super autistic and faily at social skills means he’s kind of a dick, cus I am. I’m going to try and further develop this character, this POV, and this post is the only time I’ll explain the divide between him and his creator (moi). The ‘I’ on the twitter and here is Ted Fashionski, I need that space between me and him. Masks give us this freedom to be more ourselves. Internet culture has lost a lot of its wild brutal anonymity in the last decade or so, now everyone’s afraid of making mistakes. How the hell do you grow if you’re not allowed to fuck up? This is a vital outlet. He’s become an important part of my life and I have to say, I love being Ted Fashionski. He’s like Paddington Bear who just escaped form Guantanamo or something.

I get pretty fatigued as a matter of course. I’m a long-term depressive since childhood. I have a difficult time keeping my hard-on for living. I don’t get suicidal really but I do struggle with extreme fatigue. I sleep a lot. I often fall into spirals of self-hate. And as someone who utterly believes in revolutionary leftist politics, I beat myself up about not doing enough. I’m so middle class and english and white. I was raised in such a chauvinistic and complacent culture; I don’t even know where to start. I’m wading my way through post-colonial literature and beating myself up for finding it boring and uncomfortable. It’s hard to force yourself to acknowledge your culture is The Bad Guys. It’s easier to fall into fanstasies of supremacy and butthurt misunderstoodness. And it’s not like my depressive brain needs any encouragement to hate me. My trajectory is ever leftwards, but I remember the righteous fury of being right-wing. I get it, that was me. We need more paths back from fascism, more comprehension of why people are that kind of shitty. I talk less, and less well, the more depressed I am. If I’m talking, it means im feeling a lot better. Just, fyi.

Give me a minute to be critical here. With the George Floyd protests, a lot of the cool guys on fashion twitter has gone blazingly hardcore on the political side. But there’s this troubling rhetoric about ‘no return to normal content’ or ‘this isn’t the time for fashion’. Like fuck it isn’t. This is a key problem with fashion culture right here, we have this received perception of fashion as empty escapism. Escapism matters in fashion, yes. But seriously, talking about the surfaces of things does not equal not caring about deeper meaning. What the fuck. Clothes are a connective tissue, a membrane between us. They’re emotional and powerful. We can talk about things that matter THROUGH clothes. I speak fashion, pretty fucking well. Most people who work at fashion magazines are morons with no understanding or respect for their subject. They’re incapable of doing it justice, and that’s deliberate. On this tumblr you’ll see rants and reviews of fashion and other artforms, always interpreting through a fashion lens. cus it matters, cus it’s a vital part of the culture, cus just because something has a glittery, seductive surface doesn’t mean it doesn’t communicate or contain depth. There’s no going back to ‘normal fashion content’, yes. Normal fashion content is a fucking psyop to divert legitimate interest in aesthetics amongst largely non-academic dyslexic visual types away from careful thought/feeling and towards empty consumerist commericiality. The traditional fashion media wants you to express yourself and your interest in the zeitgeist through buying more shit. Another fashion world is possible. Let’s destroy the old and build a new one, one where surface and spirit are connected and true and fashion can’t be abused in service of evil industrial monopolists.

/end rant. TLDR: angry fictional teddy bear with tin-foil hat and an eco-anarchist fetish says no to stupid fashion and yes to the renewal of conceptual fashion. Also, Fuck White People.

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silenceisbanished · 7 years ago

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a chauvinist pig in love with his sister

My favorite part of Susan Sontag’s “Under the Sign of Saturn”, among some interesting thoughts on Riefenstahl and Barthes, is definitely her essay about Antonin Artaud – a man known best for his concept of Theatre of Cruelty (on which he elaborates in an amazing collection of essays called The Theatre and its Double). I won’t get into Artaud’s theory of theater, though, because it’s not all that important for understanding the most interesting part of Sontag’s piece – a very refreshing view of how pop-culture approaches things it finds hard to accept.

The part I’m talking about feels like a self-reflection of an accalimed author/writer/journalist (and all these labels seem fitting since this essay was originally printed in The New Yorker), and it helped me come to terms with starting a lot of books of highly praised authors, yet taking so long to actually finishing them. Especially since I’m currently reading through various works of Bataille and starting to feel like I’d either have to accept that I won’t fully comprehend what’s going on in them, or I will never manage to finish reading his stuff at all.

What Sontag had to say about Artaud rings true about plenty of authors – be it Comte de Lautréamont or Maurice Blanchot. In our current climate it’s easier to hear things about them, then to actually hear them – their books are not only hard to get in modern bookshops, but also getting a proper translation might be challenging (if we’re talking about obscure authors such as Lautréamont, not Nietzsche in whose case the sheer amount of available translations is a problem, not lack of them). On a side note: it’s easier to find books about Borges in bookshops all around me, then his writings.

Anyway, Sontag packs a lot of topics in a very short paragraph of her essay. She says, for example, that:

Unknown outside a small circle of admirers ten years ago, Artaud is a classic today. He is an example of a willed classic-an author whom the culture attempts to assimilate but who remains profoundly indigestible.

And it’s an interesting sentiment. This indigestible quality of some authors seems to be precisely the factor that still separates certain ideas from the mainstream thought and popular culture. Artaud or Bataille remain resistant to pop-cultural appropriation we’ve seen happening with Nietzsche or Baudrillard – it’s hard to trap them in a cage of regurgitated aphorisms (”And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you”, and others, ad nauseam) or misunderstandings and misconceptions (as in the case of simulacra/simulation and The Matrix – beautifully summarized by Baudrillard himself as: “The Matrix is surely the kind of film about the matrix that the matrix would have been able to produce”).

However, even thought it might find certain things hard to digest, the pop culture (The Mainstream, understood as "what’s acceptable”) never stops in its attempts to consume and regurgitate things that seem dangerous to its existence –– because, it seems, that’s the only approach to preventing its own internal explosion that it knows. I know, it might seem like a juvenile and oh-my-god-how-edgy thought, but at the same time it’s an interesting phenomenon that might prove to be a handy guide in predicting what’s going to be acceptable and treated as normal by the society (or media) in years to come.

Philip K. Dick summarized this cycle beautifully in “Valis”, where he said:

To fight the Empire is to be infected by its derangement. This is a paradox; whoever defeats a segment of the Empire becomes the Empire; it proliferates like a virus, imposing its form on its enemies. Thereby it becomes its enemies.

It’s a beautiful, visceral description of a snake eating its own tail, a cycle that never ends – and of war that’s never going to be won. However, it feels refreshing to consider whether approaching this problem with a dualistic mindset (even describing it with words such as “the Empire” or “a virus”), isn’t what actually creates this particular problem of an endless loop of attempts of appropriation and regurgitation. Fighting the Empire is what forces it to actually make an effort.

On the other hand, Sontag says:

One use of literary respectability in our time and an important part of the complex career of literary modernism-is to make acceptable an outrageous, essentially forbidding author, who becomes a classic on the basis of the many interesting things to be said about the work that scarcely convey (perhaps even conceal) the real nature of the work itself, which may be, among other things, extremely boring or morally monstrous or terribly painful to read.

It feels like an interesting case to think about – how the names of such authors as Artaud or Bataille live in our culture mostly thanks to things said about their work by other people. People who had more luck in “fighting the Empire” (thus becoming a part of the mainstream, being widely known and, consequently, discarded as mad or boring), and so gained literary respectability/made careers, that allowed them to spread the words of long forgotten visionaries – creating “classics” that everyone knows but nobody reads. It’s like creating a virus that infects a virus: passing on a thought that needs to spend time in other minds in order to bloom. Because even though Bataille or Artaud had dreams of fighting the Empire (be it through revolutionary thinking or a shift towards existence-without-a-project, embracing the void), their influence needed time to infect other minds –– and precisely because their writing is extremely hard to internalize in its whole, it essentially acts like infection. Like an unwanted influence that the mind constantly feels –– and can’t shake off, even though it tries. And so their thoughts still don’t constitute what’s normal (they can’t). They’re still on the sidelines – and here’s a beautiful paradox: thanks to being outside the mainstream, it feels like their influence might only become stronger with time. Because even though they’re not widely read, they’re not, and won’t be, forgotten.

As to the hardship of actually reading them: maybe it’s their degree of introspection that makes them extremely hard to approach with a clear mind and good intentions – to read them is to accept you’re not going to spend time in a pleasurable company of friends, but rather rolling in thorns that somebody laid in from of himself precisely in order to not be approached, read or understood. Or maybe it’s the other way around: it’s only a desperate cry for someone to finally understand, and that – being visceral and gut-wrenching as it turns out to be (at least in case of Bataille) – makes it only worse.

As Sontag wraps it up:

Certain authors become literary or intellectual classics because they are not read, being in some intrinsic way unreadable. Sade, Artaud, and Wilhelm Reich belong in this company: authors who were jailed or locked up in insane asylums because they were screaming, because they were out of control; immoderate, obsessed, strident authors who repeat themselves endlessly, who are rewarding to quote and read bits of, but who overpower and exhaust if read in large quantities.

And that seems to be the crucial part: reading them feels like watching them being consumed, eaten alive, by thoughts they couldn’t control – hence the endless repetitions, entire unreadable chapters of their books or lack of focus mixed with heuristics based on knowledge that’s never explained (as if – locked within the author, whereas the whole point was to let it get out, making the whole ordeal of writing a book ultimately a failure). What’s interesting, though, is that maybe precisely this tiresome obsessiveness of Sade, Artaud or Bataille, make them so hard to be appropriated by pop culture in their original form – as if “the Empire” needed other’s people interpretation of their works in order to consume and regurgitate them in an easily digestible format.

It’s not like it never happened before: when taken to an extreme, the Empire needed Nazis to help it with Nietzsche, and when Nazis failed (because after the War his thinking became more widely understood than ever before), it eventually used Hollywood to preach that he was nothing more than: “a chauvinist pig, who was in love with his sister.”

#susan sontag #georges bataille #antonin artaud #friedrich nietzsche #under the sign of saturn

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greenergrassinsafermeadows · 7 years ago

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Chapter 21

“So what you’re saying is, without meeting or talking to me, your dad has already decided not to like me?” Clara groaned, tapping her hands anxiously against the steering wheel. “It’s not so much that he doesn’t like you specifically, he just doesn’t really like… Oncelers… In general… That sounds bad I know I’m sorry.” “Yeah it does, isn’t that like, pretty racist? Are the back-country folks gonna kill me for not being white too?” “This is Vermont Payton. You’re from Texas you can’t honestly be that scared of Vermont.” “I’m from my universes Texas, which you don’t know anything about.” “Is there ANY universe where Texas isn’t horrible?” “...No.” “Payton… I want this to go as well as it can. Please just… try?” “Of course I'm gonna try Clara.” Craig crossed his arms, “I don't exactly want them to hate me. It just sounds like I'm at a disadvantage here. Chuck and Amy never hated me- they thought I was great.” “Whomst?” “Clara’s- uh- not you- Clara’s parents. Chuck and Amy, they knew how awesome I was.” “You are awesome. I know that, I want my parents to know that. Please don’t call my dad Chuck he might kill you.”

Pulling up to a large New England farmhouse in a 15 year old truck isn’t out of place in the slightest. Doing so while Bitch I’m Madonna plays at full volume is a bit moreso. Clara turned the volume down before shutting off the engine and sliding down in her seat. “I really do want them to like you, but listen, if my dad’s a dick than he’s a dick, I love you ok? That’s what matters here.” “Well yeah, obviously, what’s not to love about me?” “Your unemployment.” Clara smiled, no real malice behind her words. She frowned when he didn’t respond, reaching out and squeezing his hand, “Dude, dude I’m kidding, you can’t even legally get a job yet, it’s ok.” Craig didn’t say anything, but he squeezed her hand back. They were only able to stall for a few more seconds before Sticks let out a high whine, scratching at the back of Clara’s seat. “Ok bud, ok.” She sat up, unclicking her seatbelt and hopping out of the truck before leaning the seat forward so Sticks could follow. “Go nuts, run free, piss on stuff, you do you dude.”

Walking up to the house, Craig close behind, she took notice of the significant lack of an SUV parked in the driveway and silently thanked god that they’d gotten there before her aunt Theresa, who managed to harbor even less sympathy for once-lers than her father did. ‘Don’t be anxious,’ She thought, ‘It’s your own home, you can ring the doorbell for fucks sake.’ She hesitated, then knocked. Thank fucking god, a short woman with bobbed red hair answered the door, throwing her arms around Clara immediately. “Mucize kızı!!! Welcome home!” “Hi mom!” Clara beamed, lifting the shorter woman up a few inches off the ground. Upon being set down, her mother turned, looking Craig up and down. “You must be the new fella,” She held out her hand, “I’m Mia, I’ll be the only parent you need to be afraid of or listen to, pleasure to meet you.” Craig took her hand, firm handshake, eye contact, it’s just like a business meeting. “Payton Chavez, nice to meet you Mia.” Clara breathed a quiet sigh of relief. It wasn’t that she didn’t fully trust him to act like an adult, it was… Exactly that, she didn’t fully trust him to act like an adult, she just wouldn’t say that out loud. She called for Sticks and the party headed inside, unfortunately, the easy part was over.

“Charles! Come hug your daughter will you!?” Mia called from the front foyer, and moments later a man nearly a foot taller than her rounded the corner and pulled Clara into a hug. “Who’s this? This looks like an adult! Where’s my my kid have you seen her? My favorite kid!” Clara rolled her eye’s, hugging him back. “I’m your only kid. And I hope I look like an adult on account of being 27.” “Don’t remind me!” Charles smacked a hand over his forehead in mock disbelief, “You can’t be old! That’d make me old!” He smiled, letting go of her and stepping back. Once his eyes fell on Craig however, the smile fell from himself. “You must be Payton,” He said, eyes narrowing slightly, “It’s a real honor to meet you, she never even brought the last one home.” Craig stiffened slightly, but extended his hand all the same, “That’s me, nice to meet you too.” Charles took it, gripping his hand a bit too hard and locking eyes with him as he gave a firm shake, the air around them nearly froze and then- “Ok!” Mia clapped her hands loudly, shooting Clara a sympathetic glance, “Well i’m sure it was a long ride up here, you kids get settled in and I’ll fix us all a snack!” “Of course,” Charles released Craig’s hand. “I’ll show you to the guest room Payton.” “Dad.” Clara finally spoke, “I’m still 27. We share an apartment. Don’t do this.” “I’m kidding Clara,” He held up his hands in surrender, but the look he shot Craig said that he was definitely not kidding. “Go get settled in, it’s best you bring your stuff in before Theresa gets her anyway.” Clara winced, before nodding and grabbing Craig’s hand, “Right, Payton grab the bags with me I don’t wanna carry them all.” “But you-” He didn’t get a chance to finish his protest, she’d already pulled him back out the door.

Craig sighed as Clara pulled his suitcase out of the back seat and handed it to him. “Why didn’t you just, y’know, lie?” He asked, frowning at her as she pulled out her own bag, “Why’d you have to tell them I’m a onceler anyway? It’s not like there’s any records to back it up.” “I don’t want to lie to my parents Payton.” “It’s not really lying, it’s omitting facts. Facts that make them hate me.” “They don’t hate you Payton. Dad just… needs to warm up to you.” “He hates me Clara, what was that guest room Meet The Fockers shit? Do I look like Ben Stiller?” “No- Payton he’s just. Like this ok? It’s stupid and I’m sorry, but he’ll come around.” “I’m trying Clara. I really actually want your family to like me!” “I know.” She set her bag down and stepped forward, hugging him tightly. “I know and I really appreciate it, we’ve been here for ten minutes Payton, he just. Needs time.”

Clara didn’t explain why she hurried him back inside when she saw Q5 turn onto the driveway, she’d kept quiet all the way up the stairs and down the hall into her room, where she promptly shut the door and dropped her bag on the floor with a heavy sigh. “Welcome to 18 year old me’s twisted mind. We’ve got bugs.” Looking around, it was clear what she meant. Butterflies and moths covered nearly every inch of the room. From the glow-in-the-dark wall decals to the comforter set on the bed, the aesthetic was clear. “So uh… you got a tattoo to match your room or was it the other way around?” Craig joked, dropping his suitcase and flopping down on the bed. “Leave me alone I like moths.” Clara laughed as she spoke, taking a seat next to him. She fell silent for a moment before laying back, staring at the star-covered ceiling. “...Aunt Theresa does hate you by the way. Just uh, figured I should give you a heads up. Ignore literally everything she says ok?” “Oh.” Craig turned, pulling his knees up and curling into her side. On instinct she wrapped an arm around him, her fingers toying with his hair. “She really doesn’t matter though ok? She barely likes me. Apparently I ‘covet restraintless ambition’ and ‘shamefully chose the path of a sympathizer’ and blahblahmehmehmeh. Seriously. Ignore everything she says.” “Yikes. Clara is she gonna try and murder me? Like do I need to sleep with one eye open?” “No.” She paused. “The door locks anyway don’t worry about it.” “Clara that’s fucking horrifying.” She turned, draping her other arm over him. “She’s not gonna murder you Payton. She’ll just be a bitch. The fact that she’s even here is surprising. She uh, when I was with Thespi she more or less disowned me? Kinda? She wouldn’t have any contact with me and she yelled at dad a lot.” “So, what you’re saying is at least I’m better than that guy?” Clara rolled her eyes, flicking Craig’s glasses up onto his forehead. “That’s true but not at all the point of anything I just said.” Craig scrambled for a second, fixing his glasses. “Yeah yeah the point is don’t listen to the crazy lady I got it.” Clara snorted a laugh and rolled her eyes, “Yes, that, right on the money you got it. Please don’t call her ‘crazy lady’ to her face though that’ll make everything worse.” “But I can behind her back?” “Well not to anyone other than me.” “Got it.” There was a knock on the door, “Everybody decent?” Mia’s voice rang out humorously, “Snacks are ready! And Clara you know your father’s rule about keeping the door open if you have a date over!” Clara groaned, dragging a hand over her face. “MOTHER I AM ALMOST THIRTY.” “Kidding, kidding!” Mia laughed, opening the door and poking her head in. “The food really is ready though, and you’re cousin Josh is here I know it’s…” She paused a moment, “Been awhile. Since you’ve been able to see him.” Clara sat up, eyes widening. “Is Zigs here yet?” “He’ll be here tomorrow, his flight was delayed but he should get in before the parade ends.” Clara nodded before turning to Craig. “You’ll like Josh, if we can get Aunt Theresa distracted enough we can come up here and play Mario Kart or something.”

That was easier said than done, it took approximately ten seconds after walking downstairs for an intimidating blonde woman, presumably Theresa, to begin glaring daggers at Craig over her pointed nose. She didn’t say a word to him, only excused herself to the restroom and left. Clara paid her no mind whatsoever, instead turning to the teenager sprawled over the couch. “Dude.” She said, unceremoniously. “Dude.” He replied, looking up from his phone for a moment in what could only be interpreted as immense respect. “You gonna shred some toxic masculinity and hug me or nah?” He laughed, heaving himself off the couch and giving Clara a quick hug. “Still psychoanalysing huh?” “All day every day.” She smiled, turning to Craig. “Payton, Josh, Josh, Payton. Josh please don’t say anything your mom told you to say.” Josh tilted his head, “You’re a real onceler? Dude you look just like a regular person.” “Josh what did I just fucking say!?” Clara crossed her arms and glared at him. “Clara!” Charles spoke up, “Language!” “Sorry, sorry.” Josh shrugged, “I just didn’t expect you to really.” “Dude. Seriously. Enough.” Clara took a step closer to Craig, “Real human here, has feelings. Stop listening to your mom.” He only nodded, but didn’t say anything else about it. Clara figured that was good enough.

Aside from a few uncalled for questions, Josh proved himself rather agreeable throughout the evening, aside from beating both Clara and Craig at Mario Kart four rounds in a row. Theresa stayed almost entirely out of sight, though Clara overheard her and Her grandmother talking in the kitchen, their hushed tones proving that the conversation wasn’t a very pleasant one. Mia asked Craig the expected questions, what it was like coming into existence in this universe whether or not he planned on filing specialized citizen paperwork and to feel free to contact her if he had any questions about it. Charles stayed quiet for the most part, but he asked a few- surprisingly non-derogatory- questions of his own, primarily about how the world Craig came from worked. Why had she been so worried again? This seemed to be going well enough, aside from not seeing her grandmother for more than thirty seconds before she disappeared into the kitchen Clara would call this a success.The family said their goodnights without any more qualms or suggestions of Craig staying in the guestroom, and even her father managed a smile before heading off to bed. If tonight was any indicator maybe the dinner itself wouldn’t be all too bad.

Of course the next morning, she remembered. Things had started off fine, letting Craig sleep in while she got up to watch the parade and dog show and answer all the questions her family wanted to ask while Craig wasn’t in the room. Nothing too upsetting was said, not to Clara at least. Theresa stood at the end of the hallway when Craig came out of the bedroom, Her eyes fixing him with a cold glare. “You don’t love her.” Craig stopped, taken aback, “Excuse me?” “It’s just in your nature,” Theresa continued nonchalantly, “You don’t love her, and she doesn’t really love you. You’re her rebellious phase, and she’ll realize that soon enough, all the rest of us just have to wait.” He didn’t respond, instead shifting his eyes to the ground and slinking past her down the stairs. He didn’t say anything walking into the living room, sitting silently next to Clara on the couch. She put an arm around him, but retracted it almost instantly when there was a knock at the door. “I GOT IT!!!” She was already sprinting for the door, throwing it open with a smile. “Zigzags!” The taller man blinked at her for a moment before he broke out in a smile of his own and lifted her into a near-crushing embrace. “Clara!” He let her down, coming inside. “Good to see you! It’s been way too long!” “It really has, dude how was the trip?” “Wet, underfunded, as productive as it could be.” “There’s unfortunately no charity for curing stupid chucklefuckery yet huh?” “Not yet, you’ll be the first I tell-” “Sigmund!” They were interrupted, Theresa rushed down the stairs and pulled Ziggy into her arms, clutching him dramatically. “Oh I’m so glad you’re here safely! I couldn’t even sleep last night thinking about taking a plane in such awful conditions!” “Mom!” He smiled, hugging her back. “I’m fine! Safe as can be I promise!” “Well,” She glanced towards the living room out of the corner of her eye, “Maybe we’ll have a good family Thanksgiving after all.” Clara turned, just in time to notice Craig excusing himself back upstairs, glaring daggers at Theresa, she turned and followed.

“What was that about Payton?” Clara asked, following him into her room before he had a chance to shut the door. He didn’t answer at first, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at the floor in front of him. �� “Payton,” She tried again, taking a seat next to him. “Talk to me dude what’s up? Did I miss something? I thought this morning was going ok.” “She said-” He cleared his throat, “Theresa said some bullshit, it’s stupid.” Clara’s eyes narrowed, “What’d she say?” “Let’s see, that I was a ‘rebellious phase’,” He started, “That eventually you’d realize you didn’t love me- Oh! And my favorite! That it’s “in my nature” to be incapable of being in love with you! Great to know right!?” Clara didn’t have much of a response for that, she heaved a heavy sigh and pulled her legs up onto the bed before turning and wrapping her arms around Craig. “...I’m sorry. If she wasn’t my aunt I’d deck her in the fucking face. That’s all bullshit and you know it.” “I know…” He leaned into her slightly, but didn’t say anything else. “Was this… A mistake?” She asked hesitantly, “I mean, mom likes you but if dad and aunt Theresa are being this shitty… Do you wanna just. Call it? Go home?” “No, Clara it’s Thanksgiving I’m not gonna make you ditch your family just because-” He paused, “Your mom likes me?” “Yeah? Dude if mom didn’t like you she’d make it very obvious.” “So she tolerates me?” “No. Listen man, I’ve known my mom for over twenty-seven years. I can tell when she genuinely likes someone I’m dating.” “Oh… That’s.” The corners of his mouth twitched, a small smile forming. “I knew it. Somebody here has the common sense to see how awesome I am.” “Yes she does.” Clara smiled, kissing his cheek, “And you are awesome, even dad’s starting to get that through his head.” “I really want them to like me Clara. They’re your family…” “I know baby… mom does, dad’s coming around. Just ignore aunt Theresa entirely ok?” Craig nodded, leaning further against Clara.

For a moment, they stayed like that, silent, before Clara spoke up again. “Would your uh…” She seemed uncertain, but pushed on, “Would your family have- have liked me?” She felt Craig tense a bit and immediately backtracked, “Sorry, sorry. I dunno if that’s like. If that’s even something you’re ok to talk about and especially right now and I’m. Sorry. That was dumb.” “Clara it’s ok,” Craig turned slightly, staying in her arms. “I guess, I mean, mom would’ve loved you but I could’ve brought home anyone on the planet and it’s not like she’d fucking stop me.” “...So how would you know she liked me.” “She wouldn’t avoid talking about you at least. I don’t think. Then again maybe she’d be worried because she probably thinks relationships are supposed to be shitty or something. Not like she ever bothered trying for anything else y’know?” Clara frowned, shifting a bit and leaning back against the headboard. She pulled him along with her, letting him rest his head on her shoulder while he continued talking. “It’s like ‘hey maybe DON’T date shitty people constantly all the time’ or like ‘at LEAST don’t let your son back himself into the same fucking situation’ haha right? Maybe provide some kind of positive example or fucking something. It’s obviously not like you don’t care.” He groaned, burying his face in Clara’s sleeve for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Like if somebody can- can uproot her fucking life to kickstart a business for you and send you to college so you can actually run it and do shit for you twenty-four-seven until you can take care of it yourself you’d think she’d want to, I-I dunno, not throw herself on the mercy of shithead after shithead but hey maybe that’s just how life is supposed to be! It was fucking fine when I did it too right?!” He was tearing up now, but didn’t notice it himself. God when was the last time he’d even thought about this? “And, and it’s not like I made it any easier! I c-could’ve been an even bigger dick then I was and she wouldn’t’ve said anything like fuck lady will you just-just stand up for something for once!? If you can p-pull it together to take care of your kids you’d think you could, y’know, do it for yourself!” He sat up suddenly, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve, now that tears were spilling freely down his face they were harder to ignore. “So yeah. Yeah she probably- probably would’ve liked you.” Clara didn’t say anything for a long while. She sat up, pulled him back into a hug, and let him cry. She wasn’t certain how long they stayed like that, not getting up until Mia called that dinner was ready.

The dinner itself went smoothly enough, if not a bit tense, but good food tends to cause good moods, and that was certainly the case in the Esther household this Thanksgiving. Theresa kept her thoughts to herself save for a few passive comments. Clara kept her fists to herself and managed to stop after half a glass of champagne and one rum and coke, trading in for regular coke. Mia wrote out a list of basic references for Craig’s citizenship registration and reminded him not to hesitate to call if he needed help with any of it. Under the powerful influence of tryptophan and pumpkin pie, Charles even informed Craig that he “Seemed like an ok kid.” and somehow that stood out as a major holiday highlight. Clara had more questions sure, but those, those could wait for another time.

#Chapter 21 #GGISM

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stevedonnellyfaith-blog · 5 years ago

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Evolution (Post 93) 6-17-15

Some friends of my parents stopped by this week. They are a fun couple. He is a folksy, puttering, retired physics teachers who once took my father’s side in a debate with other faculty members about why the lighting fixtures in the dining room were swinging back and forth in time. “Hal’s conjecture is both right and wrong,” Mr. Dorson offered in mediation, “While he is right that this is an earthquake, Hal is wrong about the oscillating motion of the chandeliers. They are stationary; it is the building that is moving back and forth.”

It is helpful to have a physics teacher around to interpret natural phenomena, but for his wife, a liberal librarian, being married to an ultraconservative who is going deaf can be a trial. I believe she has taken up gardening and visiting museums as a means to deal with the relentless onslaught of Fox News with the volume turned up to eleven. It heartens me to see two people with differing views living together in toleration rather than consternation. It is easy to see though, who a blaring news or sportscast could upset peace within an American family.

The news doesn’t really interest me much anymore. Today my mother asked me what I thought of the drama of some felons that had escaped from prison somewhere quite a while ago but hadn’t been caught yet. Initially, I thought she was talking about the Texas jailbreak from about a decade ago. Come to find out she was talking about a new escape that I had only vaguely heard about accidentally. I am currently in kind of a news gray-out status with the expectation of placing myself under an out and out cone of silence in the Christmas season once the presidential hi-jinks begin in earnest. By February every broadcast on every channel will be wall to wall politicians, people who used to be politicians and people who once worked for politicians for the foreseeable future.

While temporal debates are consequential and do impact The Church, I seem to be developing and increasingly lower tolerance for posturing, weasel words, taking others out of context, flamboyant exaggerations and smarminess. Then once the commercials are over, I can’t stand the news commentators either. It does seem like whenever Joe Biden blows his nose, Fox News will air alternating Democrat and Republican operatives who will dramatically exaggerate the significance and importance of the color of Joe’s handkerchief. MSNBC will cover the same story with two Democrat operatives who refer continuously with nauseating condescension to a particular hanky that they both remember Dick Cheney using at one point last decade. I vaguely remember that there may actually be another cable news channel, or there once was one, but it has become so irrelevant now that it is only watched in airport waiting areas by travelers who have forgotten to pack earphones as protection. So that pretty much leaves the often biased CSPAN broadcast as my only probable news source. Unfortunately CSPAN is pretty much a consensus pick for the most boring channel not dedicated to auctioning shiny baubles. So I mostly ignore the political news.

With regard to social issues, my views are mostly insulted on MSNBC and so vociferously agreed with by Sean Hannity that even I begin to question axiomatic beliefs that I have held all my life. Mostly, I listen to a couple of minutes of Al Kresta on my drive home and compare my own conservative views against whatever Pope Francis has to say. I try to allow his words to change my heart in a way that my mind can make sense of after the fact. Sometimes his views challenge me, but I am confident that Francis truly believes what he says and that the Pope doesn’t add spin. In general, whenever a Vatican mouthpiece is pontificating for him though, I change the channel as fast as I can.

With respect to matters of the faith, I do buy into whatever Pope Francis has to say lock, stock and barrel, whatever that means. (I search Google for stuff like that all the time and send kind thoughts towards David Katreeb as I’m doing it.) Anyway, I think, for instance, that the Pope quite reasonably explains the Church position on evolution in a rational way that is consistent with a man who holds a degree in chemistry. I agree with Francis when he articulates that evolution as a theory is not inconsistent with Church teaching. God most likely may have chosen to work His design using evolution as a tool to mold the earth until Jesus entered creation in the flesh of a man. As Supreme Being, He could also have chosen the more unlikely path of creating a whole mess of fossils and bones as a kind of archeological window dressing so that people wouldn’t be forced to believe in Him. I don’t expect that He would do that, but as a man, I am not a self-appointed umpire of all that He does. I am also not a competent judge of the intricacies of how other men think creation happened. My only strong belief is against the neo-Darwinist spin that the theory of evolution proves that God doesn’t exist. I know God does exist so I try to take a pass on things like hedonism, euthanasia, eugenics and genocide for which atheism provides license.

Here is a metaphor to explain my feelings on how neo-Darwinists extend the evolutionary theory into atheistic excess. Nicholas, Abby and Natalie were visiting Pam’s parents in Maryland this weekend. During the visit, Nicholas discovered a record turntable and a nunchaku set in the basement. He also ran across a Bud Light clock but that is entirely beside the point. His conjecture that both relics were a cool find is perfectly acceptable. If Nicholas extended his reasoning to assume that when placed before a karaoke microphone, his grandfather would belt out, Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas, Nick would be pretty far afield. His grandfather is actually partial to Roy Orbison – the Okinawan fighting sticks belong to Nick’s Uncle Chris.

Anyway, my point isn’t that the neo-Darwinist (Darwin believed in God) atheists have been hitting themselves in the head with sticks too much, even though I don’t agree with their misguided negation of God. It seems as if we can reasonably believe that dinosaurs became birds or whatever inference paleontologists can reasonably support with evidence. It doesn’t bother me that no fossil evidence of a missing link between me and Zippy the Chimp. I’m sure a very low percentage of living troglodytes were actually preserved in shale sandwiches, so I am unconcerned by missing monkey bones.

To me it seems reasonable to believe that proto-evangelical Jesus oversaw evolution; that seems to be what Francis either believes or allows. That interpretation is also consistent with what Jesus has lead me to believe through the Holy Spirit and my discussions with Pam. It doesn’t bother me when Traditionalists take the Old Testament more literally. To me the Pentateuch doesn’t read as Adam’s, Abraham’s and Moses’ diary any more that the New Testament reads as a Jesus’ memoir. The Bible provides us with enough information to feed our faith a healthy meal, while still allowing the atheists enough freedom to come to the conclusion that random chance bred herds of allosaurs, then extincted them, while leaving their bone caches so that we can script an increasingly ridiculous Jurassic movie franchise.

Science is wondrous. Georges LeMaitre, a Belgian Catholic priest used science to formulate the Big Bang Theory which gives us a window or inkling into how God created all of this and all of us. For those less interested in the beauty of God’s creation, there is also a funny television show by the same name. God intended us to engage in science so that we can discover more and more about what He has wrought. Certainly, we will not discover it all, any more than we will find all the dinosaur bones, but what we do find will lead us closer to Him … if we engage in science honestly.

Not everybody follows the scientific method that was originally formulated by the Catholic Church. Agendas other than truth can warp scientific findings and theories like evolution into false doctrines. Eugenics, for instance, the bastard child of evolutionary thought, lead men to massacre their neighbors. Whether the corpses were Armenian, Jewish, Cambodian or Tutsi was immaterial, the blood was on the hands of atheists who purported to be using junk science for rationale. The last century was bulwarked and sandbagged with bodies killed by men liberated from the enslaving belief in a higher power. In this century the Neo-Darwinists are bringing us contraception and chemically induced gender selective abortion on demand, an abomination that would have horrified Hitler himself because it is double-decimating his master race within the course of several short generations.

For faithful Catholics, let us forgo intramural arguments about monkey DNA. Because our observations are made of potshard fragments of a complete vase of knowledge, we will never fully understand the entire tableau that God has wrought until we learn everything we desire to know in the fullness of time. I look forward to answers about Fatima and Lourdes and the Tilma of Guadalupe as well as how exactly the Big Bang was boomed. With regard to evolution I have one last thought that interests me: could there indeed be evolution beyond Jesus incarnation? Also is Jesus’ glorified body an evolution of a different order that we will follow into, leaving our monkey relatives to their banana smoothies? In the meantime, let’s stick together as Catholics and try to sway the thought of those who no longer recognize evil and cruelty for what it is.

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deadgwen · 8 years ago

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IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias @jiilys MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START.

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU.

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH.

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but.

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED*

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

#I LOVE YOU SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT MY POINT STANDS #ALSO SORRY FOR THE SHITTINESS AND IF SOMETHING LOOKS WEIRD BC I EDITED IT SO MANY TIMES IT IS PORBABLY MOST DEFINITELY FUCKED UP SOMEHWERE #@ MYSELF I DONT TRUST U #fucshias #jiilys #I LOVE U BAE HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY HAPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY #*SINGS* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #my BIG GOAT UR 17 NOW I AM ZCRYING RN I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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percentmagazine · 5 years ago

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Cyberpunk

Cyberpunk — high tech, low life

What is Cyberpunk?

Is it a science-fiction sub-genre? A visual aesthetics? An atmosphere? A philosophy? An 80's neon rain in the night? Human augmentations? Black leather jackets and sunglasses in the night hour? I'd say — none of that… and at the same time all at once… and so much more. In order to understand what the Cyberpunk is, we have to go the very beginning of the genre and concept.

Its inception begins with a notorious writer and a philosopher Willam Gib… no… the other Willam. Well, Wilhelm — to be more precise. That is Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche — a german thinker and social critic of the 19th century, who changed the western civilisation forever. He is considered to be the father of the 20th century, a grandfather of postmodernism and a guru of new-age philosophy. He is the most beloved and hated minds in the modern history.

Among his many written works Nietzsche wrote a book titled "Thus Spoke Zarathustra: A Book for All and None" — probably one of his most notable and quoted works. In it he continued the concept of Übermensch he previously started in a publication "The Gay Science", but made famous via "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" book. So what is Übermensch and why is it important? Übermensch is translated from German as Super-human, Over-Human or — my personal favourite variant — Beyond-Human. It is basically like Surrealism, only in human morality. Nietzsche believed that a mankind is not a crown of creation, but merely a bridge between a monkey and an Übermensch. It can be interpreted as an evolutionary bridge — yes (but we will get back to it later), and it also meant the moral and ideological bridge. Being Beyond-Human means to be beyond all morals and ideologies… beyond good and evil, since all existing human institutions that dictate rules and world views (even the most fundamental once like churches and governments) could no longer provide the consistent moral directions for humanity. Everything is a lie and nothing is true. Thus Übermensch has to find his own ways — the better ways, that suit him best.

Unfortunately, like all philosophers of the past… and all the times, who try to sound smarter than they probably are, leaving plenty of room for readers' imagination and interpretations, Nietzsche never provided any detailed clarifications regarding the true Übermensch characteristics. Just vague explanations that Übermensch is better than an ordinary human-being in all the way possible. No wonder that Übermensch concept was so beloved by nazis, as they thought that they are the new and better people. Well, we all know where it all lead. The biggest war in human history happened due to the wrong interpretation of a fiction novel. It's nothing new to the world, as wars constantly happen due the different interpretations of fiction books. People always fought over the correct views on "Torah", "Bible", "Quran" and other texts, but this time mankind went way too far. And it was just the beginning.

However Nietzsche wasn't a nazi. On a contrary he detested the anti-Semite movements and stood agains all authorities, thus he would have never supported nazism or anybody else. It was Nietzsche who singlehandedly killed the highest authority figure in human history by writing the most rebellious statement in philosophy — "God is dead". By doing so he didn't mean that there is an actual god that is actually dead. No. What he meant is that all authorities and institutes that dictate moral values are no longer legit, as they are all come and gone. Nor church, nor state, nor the academic world — nothing could serve as a moral compass for humanity any longer. In other words: Nietzsche was an anarchist and one of the earlier punks. Just look at his portraits — those moustache look nowadays as funky as the green mohawks of 1980s.

German influence on punk and cyberpunk culture is not limited by Nietzsche's work alone. Germany in early 20's century was the most artistically avant-garde countries in the world. It's music, fashion, paintings and cinema shaped the entire look of the century. The style of German expressionism was dominating the worldly art. Absurd shapes mixed with tilted perspectives and contrasty shadows. The most stylish and visionary silent films where the direct result of German expressionism in action. Tim Burton, David Lynch and other modern "innovative" filmmakers with "their own style" are merely copying the long forgotten by general audience German expressionism in the new package.

Fritz Lang — the German filmmaker of early 20's century — was true visionary director and innovator. His motion picture "Metropolis" was the first fully realised depiction of a cyberpunk future long before such genre was even named. "Metropolis" has it all — high tech, low life… cyborgs, grand cityscapes, flying vehicles, the underground rebellious groups, criticism of social inequality, even the Nietzschean philosophy — everything. The true root of the Cyberpunk genre.

But the genre would have never emerged only due to one film. "Metropolis" is an important step — both visually and ideologically, but there had to be another sub-genre of German expressionism to catalyse the inception of Cyberpunk. That catalyst was the other Fritz Lang motion picture called "M" — the film that spawned an entire cultural phenomenon, known as "film noir". "Film noir" came to Hollywood as a direct result of German expressionism style — contrast, shadows and questionable moral values. And in many ways Fritz Lang's "M" and "film noir" genre played much more important part in the creation of Cyberpunk then even a first Cyberpunk feature film "Metropolis". How is that? How all those private eyes, mobsters in fancy black and white suits, depressing music, never ending rain, femmes fatales in evening dresses and constant smoking helped to shape Cyberpunk? The answer is in the context.

Lets look at the stereotypical "film-noir" protagonist. He is a privet eye, definitely a loner in the corrupt and alienating world. He is a bit of a libertine, but he respects traditions. He is cynical on words, but principal in all his actions. He cannot be intimidated or bribed, as he stands by his principles and money doesn't mean nothing to him in comparison with the truth. He probably used to be a cop, but was fired due to obvious insubordination issues. An anti-authoritarian figure that breaks rules for his benefit and rejects moral codes, but doesn't dwell into nihilism. He lives by his personal values that exist outside the religion or the law… and he is probably played by Humphrey Bogart, of course. Isn't it a description of a Nietzschean Übermensch? A perfect role model for future punks and cyberpunks. Funny, the most conservative art genre — that is “film noir" — gave birth to the most rebellious one — Cyberpunk.

The turning point for Cyberpunk was the year of 1982 with the release of "Blade Runner" motion picture — directed by Ridley Scott and loosely based on Philip Dick's novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" The film is the golden standard of the Cyberpunk genre by any means. And it is obviously a "film noir" piece of art… or "neo-noir", or "tech-noir" (as it will be named later… after the release of "The Terminator" — another Cyberpunk classic highly influenced by the "film noir" aesthetics). "Blade Runner" has it all: a lone detective with personal moral values in a corrupt society, the bleak alien world, the contrast lighting, the shadows, the never ending rain… even the femme fatale is present — the classic damsel in distress with a dark secret. The story features not one, but two archetypes of Übermensch rivalling each other: Roy — played by Rutger Hauer— a nexus replicant both physically and mentally superior to ordinary human being, the true manifestation of Übermensch… versus Rick Deckard — played by Harrison Ford — a stereotypical "film noir" protagonist, a representation of moral Übermensch. I think that the "film noir" roots of the genre are very important to highlight, since most critics and scholars refer to "Blade Runner" as a "Science Fiction" film, classifying the whole Cyberpunk as a "sci-fi" sub-genre, while I see Cyberpunk primarily as a sub-genre of "film noir". In my opinion it IS "film noir" with "sci-fi" elements, and not the other way around.

The differences between "Science Fiction" and Cyberpunk may seam not too obvious and minor, but they are crucial in understanding the culture and genres. "Science Fiction" follows the traditions set by novelist Jules Verne — the themes of adventure, journey into the unknown and explorations, while Cyberpunk is inspired by philosophical works of Friedrich Nietzsche — the concept of a personal and social development. "Science Fiction" is abstract and its main question is "What if…?". For example, "Back to the future" — a beloved "sci-fi" classic by Robert Zemeckis — the main focus of the story is "What if the time machine existed?", or "Alien" — another cult film by Ridley Scott — it asks "What if alien species existed?", or "Jurassic Park" by Steven Spielberg — "What if dinosaurs could be resurrected?" etc. While Cyberpunk's main question is not just "What if…?", but rather "How the today's world would react to…?" or even "What sort of moral dilemmas we will have to face if…?" Lets take "Ghost in the shell" by Mamoru Oshii — its main theme would be "How would the today's world react to the machines gaining their own consciousness?", or "Strange days" by Kathryn Bigelow — "How would the today's world react to memories being recorded and sold?", or "Minority report" by Steven Spielberg — "What moral dilemmas we will have to face if all our crimes are predetermined?"… and "Blade Runner", of course — "What moral dilemmas we will face if artificial humans will be identical to us… or even superior? And how the today's world will react to it?" Yes, the "today's world", not the "world of times to come".

It's the "Science Fiction" that explores the days and nights of tomorrow, since it can go far away into the future, assuming that the present political and social problems are resolved somehow or entirely ignored, allowing to focus primarily on its main "sci-fi" themes. Or it can go back in time and rewrite the history, turning genre into the alternate world "Fantasy" or even "Steampunk". Even if "Science Fiction" takes place in modern times, it tries to remain abstract and idealised to the point that it has nothing to do with present days reality. While Cyberpunk is aways grounded. No matter how surreal and stylised its presentation may be, Cyberpunk keeps realism and believability at its core, since all its characters and even futuristic equipment follow the rules of present day logic and physical capabilities.

Cyberpunk doesn't ignore modern political and social problems, as it is usually set in the near future, deliberately exaggerating present day issues to their extreme. The future is so near and illustrated themes are usually so familiar to present day life, that sometimes the line between today and tomorrow blurs into obscurity. Instead of putting the hot topics comfortably remote, they are uncomfortably close. Thus Cyberpunk is a risky genre, since closer it is to our times and reality — easier it is to go wrong with predictions and observations. Therefore the art pieces of Cyberpunk doesn't age well, but that is not the weakness of the genre, but its core strength. Cyberpunk authors take risks, and that is always a good sign for the artistic value. And this is where the last major difference between "sci-fi" and Cyberpunk takes place, since Cyberpunk is "punk"! Yes, it is right there in the title and it's named as such not without a reason. Cyberpunk is everything that the punk culture is — it implies passion, idealism, rebellious nature, philosophy, street freedom, hairstyles, dress code (or should I say a total fashion chaos) and more… plus cyber elements dictated by the technological progress.

Text: Jurii Kirnev

Omnifinery Editorial: Article 010

#cyberpunk #blade runner #longread #sci fi #fritz lang #metropolis #strange days #neitzsche

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