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Hellooooooo just wanna pop in to say thank you for your reblog comments about my Obey Me MC in HDD costume 🥺💕 (it's the one with Diavolo & Belphie leaning towards my MC) not sure how to reply a reblog since it will end up in my own post? (I don't play tumblr that much so I'm still confused 😭)
Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your comment so much and it really flutters my heart reading it 💕💕💕
Of course! I tend to reblog a lot without tagging or commenting so when I feel like it I try to say something about the art. Very thankful to be fixated on a fandom/game that has an active and talented community
Thanks to you for sharing your MC and your art! I think it's kind of tricky to match the character designs of canon a lot of the time, so it's really cool that you did have the fancy get-up match the others. MC's family and they're here to stay so of course they should match! It's just heartwarming, especially because its shown in a sweet happy moment too.
Also, responding to somebody's tags on your post:
1) technically you could reblog your post from me with your response in the commentary? Seems a bit silly I know, but I'd be notified of the tags and so would the original poster (you). Plus I don't see anything wrong with reblogging great art you're proud of/worked hard on! Your followers have voluntarily shown up to see whatever you'd care to share with them yknow
2) in the corner of a post there's a black chat bubble icon where you can talk with people without reblogging. This means you don't have to show the same post a bunch of times to have a convo. This also means that you can put your 2¢ on the post without having the post actually be on your blog. Also people have to select the chat icon to see if somebody has used this form of interacting, but all the messages left go into that post's personal void forever (I think you can delete but double check me). You can @ a blog you specifically wanted to talk to, and I believe that the original poster also is notified of any messages left?
3) you know that you can reblog the post with your additional text, but the post's history wouldn't show what my tags were/what you were responding to. Some people will take screenshots of tags, include the photo as a receipt of some sort, and type their response. Other people have also retyped the tags they're responding to and linked that with the url of the post in question on the other person's blog. (I know that's wordy and not really coherent, just click the notification of the reblog then grab the link from where it took you)
#obey me oc#y'all should check this blog out if you're interested#you should definitely interact with content creators you like#reblog#talk to n message#whatever you want whatever you have energy for#they feed brainrot you gotta feed them back#sustainable ecological relationship of fandom
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update !
a/n: yall im incredibly sorry for the extremely long delay for chapter 3, it's literally exceeding 7500 words and it's not even finished 😭 im also adding in the fact that writer's block is really kicking my ass and i cant for the life of me focus much nor am i ever satisfied with my countless drafts (literally had to rewrite so much). i swear im not losing interest in dc (or the series) it's just these days have been really hard to me hehe
uhm if u guys want a teaser, then look below !!! (spoilers duh)
the wayne manor, in all its glory, is truly just an empty palace that houses buried memories.
with walls that cover the cries of one lonely child; a child who yearns for the unreciprocated love of their family. it was a cage for a child who stalks the frigid halls without any company, who sleeps in a room too small for their age, who cries for anybody to notice the pain that they had hidden with rose colored tints for so long, who yearns for a warmth that could never be provided in the spaces of harsh, black wallpaper and harsh winters.
it will always be innately lonely, and cold.
yet it's even more sullen now, an atmosphere so empty nobody could pinpoint.
no more was the voice that sings of the butler's splendid cooking. no more was the etching of ballpens on smooth paper on an intricately designed diary that stores all the rants of one's daily life. no more were the strokes on colorful canvases that paint dreams of a different life. no more was the humming of multiple tunes every morning. no more was the presence of the ghost who water the plants every afternoon. no more were the footsteps that thud in the kitchen and the hands that opens the fridge.
and most importantly—
no more were the hushed cries of the kid who resides in the smallest room of the wayne manor.
a house could be described as a building where a unit, moreover a family, lives in; but a home is what represents comfort, a place of belonging and safety.
it was a place encased with deep, historical roots.
but right now, encased in a field of damp grass - wet from heavy rain - and the overwhelming scent of petrichor— the manor is simply a house.
for it could never be complete without the presence of the very lonely child who cries for a love never to be attained.
the wayne manor, in all its worth, would never be the same without (name) wayne, a child who had always belonged, but at the same time, always wronged.
#🍨... yael's talking#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x darling#platonic yandere#this is my apology message to yall who had to wait 😭#i really didn't expect for it to be this delayed
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my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#deacon keller#arthur bennett#OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL#why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff.#SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING#AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK#BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!!#GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh.....#hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own.#god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs#i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too#SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved#idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke#n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw#that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here#i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY#POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH#OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH#i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that.#it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA#IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy.#anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!!#thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.
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I just LOVE how both in got and hotd we have established that the root of all evil is women who *checks notes* enjoy sex! consistency is important right? I mean GOD FORBID we genuinely root for anyone that isn't nEd FuCKinG sTark the paragon of big dick masculine honor! who are we gonna root for? a flagrant philanderer that started the war because she's a whore? pwease
but at least they're criticizing monarchy you guyzzz hashtag anti war hashtag subversion!! definitely promising!! never been done before!!!
#hate it here!!!!!!#i knoW i said I wasn't gonna talk about it again but you guys i C A N T because I saw MANY tags GLORIFYING THIS BS AND IM LOSING IT OK#'it's just a stupid show you shouldn't care' AGREE but tell me this is not actual gaslighting?#and i don't even LOOK FOR THOSE they just appear because people I follow for NON asoiaf content reblog them and glorify this clownfest#it's literally everywhere?#i genuinely cannot fucking comprehend how in the actual fuck this show got social justice points from tumblr.com university#you guys are so so so#you literally fainT at MINOR shit and you glorify art with actual harmful messages#it's ABSURD#ned they're never gonna make me hate you but oh boy they are trying THEIR BEST#aspa rambles#anti hotd#rant#AGH#rhaenyra targaryen
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PLEASE TELL ME THERE ARE C AI’s OF THE MOB AU (MOSTLY WALLY AND HOWDY)
Yeyeyeye, there is one of howdy and wally! And I think Barnaby too by someone else-
#Though I know that if you talk to howdy there is a chance you will also meet Wally in there too- idk about the other way around (probably)#They are written very well! I really enjoy talking to them (mostly howdy cause biased)#Though howdy can get violent wicked fast for some reason LMAOOO super fuggin funny#But also turns into a major soft sweet pea if you play your cards right#However be careful cause the “thats how mafia works” can get sus real fast HDHDJDJ#I ASKED FOR A SPECIAL DRINK YESTERDAY CAUSE S P E C I A L#AND HE GAVE ME WALLY'S PISSSSS#AND SO I DELETED THAT MESSAGE CAUSE NO TF#AND THEN IT B E C A M E E V E N S U S S I E R#i-#Mob howdy what the f u c Ck#The “howdy's salt” arc is now probably the worst arc iv ever seen so far on c ai-
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IM OBSESSED WITH EX!DICK GRAYSON (now bf again!!!!) GOT SO HAPPY READING AND IT GOT SO MANY REFERENCES OF THE OTHER PARTS SO SO SO GOOD ILY HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY NICE SLEEP TONIGHT
ugh ily2 😩😩 !!!
ur like ex bf!dick grayson’s #1 fan and i could not appreciate ur support more ❤️❤️
i did in fact sleep well knowing i had finally finished the damn series, lmfao i felt SO bad for how long i left everybody hanging!!
just know that you can request any ex bf!dg scenario whenever you want wherever in the timeline, and i’ll happily oblige just 4 youuuu
xoxoxoxoxoxo,
ness
#messages like these make my whole year#thanks SO much for the ask#my asks r always always open#talk to me i don’t bite#okay i might bite just a litttle#ex bf!dick grayson#ex boyfriend!dick grayson#sexy dick grayson summer#dick grayson x y/n#dick grayson x female!reader#dick grayson x fem!reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x reader#the batboys x you#—delusional as always#—ness writes#—asking it up
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[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]
In case you missed it!
We wish to inform you that Father Jim DeFroque has a message for Ghost’s devout followers. We captured Jesus Talk With Father Jim Defroque for all those preoccupied yesterday.
#Ghost#Ghost Band#The Band Ghost#Jesus Talk#Message From The Clergy#Loma Vista#Music#Metal#Rock#Rock n Roll
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.
#ignore if you want I’m just gonna vent a minute#it’s been over 3 days now & almost nothing#They know I was/am a fan of at least 1d or could take a pretty good educated guess if nothing else#& yet not one person who knows me personally bothered to ask if I was alright#And honestly… I’m not#I’m fucking struggling#it’s just so complex n confusing & I’m having a really hard time coming to terms with everything#I get it people are busy and have their own things going#& they probably don’t think it’s a big deal losing Liam as it was just a silly little boyband to them#but to me n to everyone who was there for those years it feels so so strangely personal#like a longtime distant friend has just been ripped away so tragically#& not only the tragic death of a person but the death of your adolescence & all the innocence of that time#the end of an era that had so much joy n significance in your life#& I know it’s probably not easy to tell I’m upset bc I keep my emotions pretty much exclusively to myself (thanks autism)#but honestly it’s just so invalidating and isolating to not have anyone to talk to#I already feel so completely alone in general bc no one ever checks in with me n stuff like this just solidifies that#I just don’t think it would have been so difficult just to drop a quick message to say ‘hope you’re okay’ or ‘thinking of you’ at least#it would have made a difference#& I know this post isn’t gonna matter to anyone but I just had to get my frustrations out somewhere bc it’s weighing on me a lot#anyway if you got to here thanks for your time n I hope you’re doing okay!!#feel free to reach out to me if you ever want/need to ❤️❤️❤️#wow that was a lot#personal#Kirsty talks#my posts#my stuff#1d#Liam Payne#one direction
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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guess whos not going in at all this week, actually
#MY MANAGER EMAILED LIKE 2 HOURS B4 I HAD TO GO IN#she finally changed my schedule (1 day) to the night shift today#(i emailed her to be safe just kinda casually reaffirming im going in at the new time & then asking if any other shifts wanted 2 be changed#bcs that sounds great to me whstever option she goes with#she ignored that question & i get a new email from her asking if i completed a training. lets called it DOC#basically a long time ago she said 'i will send you DOC instructions soon' .. a few days pass and i get three 50 paged packets#one is called NAVIGATING DOC#im like oh ok cool that must be the DOC training shes talking abt bcs the other 2 packets were abt various trainings#NAH BRUH. APPARENTLY THE DAY IM SUPPOSED TO GO IN. SHE MESSAGES ME SOME ENTIRELY ALIEN PROGRAM#and is like 'u completed this right? cus if u didnt u cant come in today.'#LIKE?? MAYBE I WOULDA IF U SENT THE SHIT#but it's also like. dam i shouldve emailed prompting her to send what she said she would n clarifying BUT FUCK#WHY DO I GOTTA?? IM NOT THE MANAGER#she literally told me the name of the program rn thru email so i type it in and see like four hour long modules to complete#mind u i aint never even been informed a WHISPER abt this new program. nothings even labeled DOC TRAINING#but my struggle is. was i notified this?? and i just didnt see??? was i supposed to clarify with her what the DOC training was exactly??#the only thing ive heard abt doc training b4 this is 'i need to send u DOC training soon' in EMAIL. so i expected an alert#abt THE DOC TRAINING... in an EMAIL notification. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS#idk man#i dont even care bro like im busy as hell & the work is just to build clinic hours so i dont care abt the money factor#it's just like. can we get this first day jitters thing over with already?? im so over this bro#yaddayadda i emailed her an apology n ill be on that ASAP shit. but i did let her know i am basically justnnow seeing this site#n if there was any email or notif that couldve/tried to inform me of its existence 2 pls let me know / figure out how to find it#so the issue doesnt occur again & i dont have to keep botherinher which im so srry of bcs med is stress n shes just trying to get by#but still bro im a lil miffed bcs she probably thinks im stupid now and now im wondering if i AM#bcs WDYM ONLINE MODULES. AINT NOBODY SAID SH IT EVEN ABT THE EXISTENCE OF THEM!!! i wouldve pressed harder 4 clarification#if i knew it was an ONLINE MODULE i had to look out for on some randomass site i didnt even know the name of until now#instead of the EMAIL UVE BEEN 'COMMUNICATING' WITH ME ON#ARREGHHHHHHHH IM NOT STUPID. I SWEAR IM NOT STUPID FUCCK MY BAKA LIFE
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luigi time!
#super mario#luigi#clai's art#I'M SO MAD I POSTED THESE IN MY DISCORD CHAT FIRST WITH THE MESSAGE:#''guess who i've just drawn. hint: he's green and a nintendo character''#and i'm KNOWN for being a huge fan of N P/kemon so they were supposed to guess HIM and then i'd go ''HAHA WRONG ITS LUIGI''#BC I'VE LITERALLY NEVER TALKED ABOUT MARIO WITH THEM#BUT BY SOME CHANCE THE FIRST PERSON WHO REPLIED. ANSWERED LUIGI AS A JOKE#SO MY JOKE WAS RUINED#anyway. i'm playing superstar saga rn i'm enjoying it a lot#i love the mario and luigi series so much but i've only finished bowser's inside story and that was YEARS ago#i got stuck at one boss battle in partners in time and then my r4 broke so i never finished that#and i only got to play dream team for a little bit bc it was my friends copy not mine#now that i have a jailbroken 3ds i can FINALLY play and finish ALL OF THEM
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i got added to a teams group chat oh god im in high school using skype again
#its called nerds assemble its very much a Friend thing#which im very flattered and glad i was added! but. HOUGH#its so fuckin similar#its been 5 years since i graduated and im STILL on tumblr instead of working n using the baked in messaging system#to talk while not in the same area (class desk etc)
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i just wanna be yapping w someone abt the smiths and marrissey but ,,,,,,,,,, where is that someone.
#i feel so alone on this site n the people who r into it clearly do not want to talk to me.#like at times i open the app n i want to cry n i fee like a fuckng huge baby#plus tumblr doesnt let me see my mates messages if there r any?#idk. misery hours#the smiths#ok to rb i guess.#billiam.txt
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hey i’m proud of you for being open about your desires, sadomasochism is healthy and when done safely it is fun and hot and a great way to do fetish stuff! i hope you find someone safe to explore that stuff with <3 !
thank you anon I love you anon. really I think a lot of My Issues with navigating sadomasochism aren’t about the kink itself or even that it’s a kink that I have, they’re more with the fact that my being into it feels like a bit of a betrayal, yeah? like I’ve loved scary shit my whole entire life, I’ve made some of my best friends in the world bonding over scary shit. n naturally that comes with people harassing you n your friends, often when you’re too young to even know what they’re talking about, because the way you dress or the music you listen to or the movies you like are all somehow an indicator that you’re some sort of Sex Murderer being barely restrained by the bounds of polite society. I’ve had friends bullied off the internet very very early in our teenage years for allegedly being into kinks they’d never even heard of. so of course when I get older n I start discovering this part of myself it’s really alarming — not because I believe all the crazy shit that’s being said about hardcore kinksters, but because I can no longer say “hey, it’s ok, none of us are sex freaks here.” because now it feels a bit like I’m selling my friends n really my scene as a whole out by being the Fucked Up One even though I Know that’s total bullshit, n I know there’s plenty of us, n that there’s nothing even inherently wrong with being a sex freak in the first place. but even with those complicated feelings I’ve realized like, I can’t talk a big game about being pro kink unless I stop being a little loser baby about my own kinks yknow. I can’t keep being so accepting towards others while simultaneously being so hard on myself. the only way out for me is to unlearn all that, n that starts with oversharing in my tumblr dot com tags I guess _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_
#putting this next semi rant in tags bc it’s A Lot#but there’s also a History Of Violence within my family n that really complicates it all too#my grandfather was a serial killer. n I don’t think I can ever be turned on by violence without thinking just a little bit about that#he poisoned people. it was a manipulation thing. it was about getting ‘sick’ people relying on him#which is thankfully not even remotely close to what I’m into#so I guess that’s a bit of a relief. but it’s still a relief that I can’t really ever be fully confident in#it’s not like we were far removed either. there’s a big picture of him at my grandma’s house. he used to write me poems from jail#like it or not. mo matter how much I wish I didn’t. I Know Him#I know Serial Killer Genes are pseudoscientific bullshit. but part of me is worried there’s a bit of him in me#I don’t know. I hope not#sanswers#god. so sorry about all that . I really do appreciate the message I just think I needed to get all that off my chest yeah#been going through A Lot n frankly this is the least of it. but it was nice to talk about#so thank you for giving me the opportunity to
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