#talk abt self love amirite?

[weirdlyfitting]

Yknow i always feel conflicted when i want to draw digitally, i saw artist who are able to draw "fully shaded cool lineart bombed with beautiful colors" kinds of drawing and i feel like....

I'm not enough with this teeny beety pen tablet, i've learned a lot from people in the internet that "your device does not define your skill"

But.....

What if it is for me?

I saw people who did speedpaint with a pen display, my friend who did animation with a pen display, i remember borrowed it for sum mins and my god using pen display is....really just a cool experience

Plus drawing digitally and traditionally is... different. On paper I am limited with colors, but i can learn about grayscale, but on digital it's like I had ALL COLORS AND BRUSHES IN THE WORLD and i can embrace my artstyle so much more! Both had pros and cons trust me, but i won't lie if making a fully shaded piece is insanely hard for me both with the device i'm using and in paper

I'm actually scared too if i'm actually get a pen display, cause what if i'll have the same feeling and reaction as now? I don't feel enough with my own device and than insecurity to be as good as some other artist's art....

But really, out of all these insecurities. I can only have faith on what it is as being an artist. The joy and spark that just....HAPPENED is an experience, being happy with how far i've come, being happy that i did make not only one but many fully shaded arts with that teeny beety pen tablet, being happy to just create something.....

Doesn't matter how many insecurities i had, to just accept and see that HEY! I MAKE ART! THIS IS MY ART! I think it's pretty cool :>

[duckymcdoorknob]

Completely Random Things Your Karasuno Boyfriend Flustered By.

Can y’all tell I’m a Karasuno simp?

I also know their characters the best KSNSKSN

—— ☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾☀︎︎☽☀︎︎☾ ——

Third Years:

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚒: 𝑅𝑎𝑤 𝑇𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡

Alright let me elaborate.

Daichi finds it so enamoring when you’re completely impeccable at what you do.

If you’re a drummer and you can play with no mistakes? Sweet mercy baby boy is b l u s h i n.

Decorating baked goods perfectly just floors him.

He’s easily impressed by anything you do because you always do it SO PERFECTLY.

Crocheting? Crochet him a little friend to put in his locker and he will look at it every time he grabs his books.

He almost dies trying to receive your serves because your form is just too good and it’s making him so proud and so flustered.

“C’mon cap, my serves aren’t that good, you have to be off your game.”

And he’s up front about it.

“Hard to be on my game if you’re gonna look so good while serving for me.”

𝙰𝚜𝚊𝚑𝚒: 𝑇𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝐶ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑆𝑡𝑒𝑚

Like do y’all know that trend where people tie knots with their mouths?

Cherry stems, twist ties, string, twine etc.

You did it once to try and see if you could...

Asahi literally sputtered and stumbled backwards.

“Something wrong, babe?”

“N-nothing!”

So of course you keep trying to master it and eventually you can do it hella fast.

You did it super fast for him and he hid his blushing face in his hands.

Now you do it whenever you want to get him all flustered.

𝚂𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚊: 𝐻𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑡ℎ

Okay just bear with me here.

He finds it so hot when both of your hands are full so you hold shit with your teeth.

Like

Putting up your hair if it’s long?

Hold the hair tie in btwn your teeth and man is so flustered.

Need to tie your shoes and you’re going to practice?

Put your key lanyard in btwn your teeth and he’s gonna die.

Putting a safety pin on his clothes and you got it in between your teeth?

He won’t be able to sit still.

“Baby you gotta hold it with your hands.”

“But why?”

“JUST DO IT-“

Second Years:

𝚃𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚔𝚊: 𝐷𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔.

Oh boy

This mans

He’s all hot and bothered being your passenger.

Looking in your side mirror to change lanes?

HOT

Looking over your shoulder to check your blind spot?

LAWD HAVE MERCY

Hand on the headrest as you reverse?

PLS YOU’RE GONNA KILL HIM

Stealing a glance at him in the rear view?

TANAKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

𝙽𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚢𝚊: 𝑉𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒

I HC THIS MOTHERFUCKER WITH A VOICE KINK

Bruh self projection amirite aha

Like I’m just saying,

Morning voice absolutely fucking destroys him.

He will actually yelp in agony.

Blushy blushy blushy time dude.

One time at practice he was teasing Asahi. You knew just the way to get him back.

“C’mon ace, it’s okay to admit it.”

You had no idea what Asahi was needing to admit, but he was clearly flustered.

You trudged up to Noya, placed the gentlest hand on the small of his back, and in your lowest, prettiest voice said.

“Come on pretty boy. Don’t be such a tease.”

Followed by the tiniest giggle.

Nishinoya genuinely tensed, hid his beet red face in his hands and fell forward into Asahi’s chest.

“They’re going to freaking kill me, Asahi.” he mumbled, voice about 3 octaves higher.

𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚊: 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙

Again, don’t know shit about this guy.

But I rlly feel like he would adore an S/O who’s just got a really strong personality.

Please give the team a pep talk before matches and he will just die of blush.

He’s so proud of you and it makes him feel so blessed to even know you.

Please boss him around and tell him to do his homework.

Wholly be a nag

Please

He will literally whine without it

BUT WILL TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE THAT HE WANTS TO BE BOSSED AROUND

it’s not a kink thing, he just likes to feel loved and supported.

𝙽𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚊: 𝐹𝑜𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑆/𝑂

Just like Kinoshita, don’t know Jack shit abt him.

I feel like he gets really blushy and flustered when his partner is wholly engulfed in something they’re doing.

ESPECIALLY IF IT’S SOMETHING THAT YOU’RE REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT.

If you’re really focused while doing your favorite hobby,

Tongue gently poking out and compeltely blank stare,

Like pls baby will just crumble.

𝙴𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚊: 𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠s

LMFAO POOR GUY

If he sees you even hold a baby he’s gone.

Babysitting a little cousin, a family friend, your own sibling together?

Dude please he will probably make you put the baby to bed early, so he could kiss you and ramble about how sweet you look with a baby.

Baby parent fever.

Like he just wants to see you with a baby all the time.

Bonus points if it’s both of yours. Together.

He saw you being so parental one time he simply left the room to hide his blush.

You were packing lunch for your nephew to take to school.

But you were writing him a little note to leave on a treat he wasn’t aware he was receiving.

“I can sense you Chi, what’s going on?”

“N-nothing.”

First Years:

𝚃𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊: 𝑆𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔

Mans ADORES your singing voice.

Regardless of your skill level, it just relaxes him so much.

He instantly tenses up hearing your delicate voice, blushy blushy time.

Like BIG TIME flusto.

He drops what he’s doing to listen intently.

If you sing a sexy song, it’s absolutely fuckin over for him.

He cannot process anymore and will look anywhere but you.

May be ooc but I hc that if you perform a really powerful ballad song like Sondheim’s Being Alive he will actually start crying.

He lets his guard down because he just genuinely can’t handle how beautiful you are and how beautiful your voice is.

He will punch Hinata for teasing him, but the tears never leave his eyes and a smile never leaves his face.

𝚈𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒: 𝐷𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

Such a sweet boy.

He sees you making the bed?

Boom blushy boii. He just wants to tackle you on it and pepper you with kisses.

Wiping down the countertop?

He’ll come behind you and just hug you, planting his head in the crook of your neck.

Cooking dinner?

Oh PLSSS he will actually die of blushy blush.

He just finds it so enamoring because I wholly headcannon his love language as acts of service.

One time he genuinely cried in front of you because you helped him out of his uniform after a vigorous practice, drew him a bath and put his pajamas in the drier for them to be warm.

Like he started tearing up and sniffling as you held out the warm clothes and you were just like 😨???

𝙷𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊: 𝐽𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡 𝑃𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔

Lol poor baby boy.

Please he finds it so attractive when you like crack your knuckles before you get to work on something rigorous.

Turning in your desk to just crack your back after a long class?

Shoot him a wink while you stretch and he will just pass out.

One time you were going to help him and Kags set after practice.

“Oy, (Y/N), Hinata is frothing at the mouth here. Hurry up.”

“One second!”

Cue you cracking your neck, stretching, then popping your knuckles.

“I’m ready.”

“... wait! U-um. Maybe a-another minute.”

Kageyama totally bullied him for it.

𝙺𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚊: 𝑆𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆/𝑂

Oh shit. Poor guy.

Please don’t fall asleep.

Not on him

Not by him

Not on a call with him

Not in his line of sight

You get it

But he just genuinely doesn’t know how to react without waking you up.

So yeah he gets super flustered if you fall asleep. Especially if you fall on his chest,

“KAGEYA-“

“shh!” He pointed downward.

“Oh... oooohhhh got it.”

“Can you please pass me my coat? T-they’re shivering.”

“Aww does Kageyama care about his partn-“

“Shut it.” He hissed as you stirred under his gentle touches, “j-just.”

“Awww Baka is totally blushing... here.”

——————✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞—————��

[i-may-be]

Ello, if matchups are still open may I have a Haikyuu and Percy Jackson romantic one please? If they're too much you can choose only one, or not do them at all tho.

This is gonna be a mess, since my thoughts are always a mess.

I'm Bee, a 19 yo bisexual girl, I'm a Capricorn with Venus in Aquarius, and an INFP/ISFP

I'm a burnt out former gifted kid.

I'm ambiverted and I like to talk but my social battery runs out fast and then I get really sleepy.

I like learning new skills, and I also like puzzle games or anything that stimulates my brain, really.

I don't really get out of the house since most of my hobbies are indoors (baking, gaming, reading, writing, and doing anything fandom related)

My love language is physical touch and words of affirmation.

I'm really self-conscious and I get nervous easily.

I like my sleep. I get both physically and mentally tired easily so I love sleeping.

I'm also very emotional and my emotions are always intense, so when I'm happy I'm really happy, and when I'm sad I'm extremely sad.

hello! thank you for choosing this blog for your matchup <3

HAIKYUU ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Chikara Ennoshita

HOW YOU MET

You were staying at your friend's house and said friend had a sibling who also had a friend over. Low and behold, Ennoshita is the friend they had over! Call it a "I'm inlove with my friend's sibling's friend" fic because that is it!

Anyway, you properly spoke when the four of you were having food, ordering some take-out to have for a lil treat! You all sat down at the table to enjoy your food because hey, you've all got manners.

While your friend and Ennoshita's friend argued as and are annoying each other- as sinblings do- you both are just there awkwardly sitting and eating, unsure of whether either of you even want to get involved.

But instead! Ennoshita starts talking to you, starting on the common ground of "gosh, they couldn't have waited until later amirite" ok he didn't word it like that but I'm not used to writing his character voice im sorry.

So you both talk a little, and your friend and their sibling but into the conversation too and you all talk together for a while after they have gone back to being civil! It was fun and sweet innit.

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

I feel like Ennoshita is a dude with a really calming presence hnnn. Like you can feel a little less anxious around him cause he has such a warm and accepting presence :] It was definitely easy to get close to him because he was so easy to talk to.

When he finds out you've joined a fandom he will jump head first into it too, no doubt. He loves having common interests with you, talking and discussing them. He would probably give commentary on things on a call with you as he catches up with it, if you are comfortable ofc. Probably looks at a really cool character and associates them with you so he's just like "yo!! you remind me of them!!" he is so positive abt your interests grr

He is consistentally checking up on you and encouraging you to talk about yourself and how you feel!! Communication and honesty are important to him in relationships, and even though he knows it can take time he wants to make sure that you can get to that point with him!

I feel like he would buy things as a way of affection, along with words of affirmation. He doesn't tend to initiate physical contatc but he does reciprocate it! I feel like he would get you fluffy blankets or, I dunno, bookmarks? I'm sure he'd get you other things but my mind went so blank I'm sorry-

HANGING OUT

He got into gaming by association with Nishinoya and Tanaka. Those two have sm energy and you think it's all targeted a volleyball??? Absolutely not, they yell at games. But that's besides the point- because Ennoshita has played a lot of games. I'm not sure what games you play, but I feel like his personal favourite is sims, he finds it very funny.

He's a pretty quiet guy, so I firmly believe that's it's easy for you both to sit down in a very comfortable silence and just enjoy the fact that you're sharing each other's presence :] yikes why did i write that so nicely, but it is very nice and comfy so ig it fits

Library/Book shop dates!! Maybe you've finished all the books you have copies of and want to get some new ones, so you both go out and look around to see what you can get!! It's very fun and sometimes you'll find ones that are kind of ridiculous and just laugh at them. It's a fun thing to do.

I feel like he would like to teach you a lil bit of volleyball, especially since you like learning new skills. It'll be a really out of the blue thing to pop up on you, like it'll have nothing to do with the convo and he's like "!!! btw wanna practice some volleyball with me??" He likes to help you learn new skills however he can :D

PERCY JACKSON

ROMANTIC MATCHUP: Juniper

HOW YOU MET

You were on a walk and so was Juniper, or rather, she had been taking a walk, right now she was awfully preoccupied with where her bracelet had gone.

And so she goes to you! A random person walking in her general direction, asking if you're busy and if you would help her.

You are like yeah ok sure, because you don't have anywhere to be anytime soon, you have the evening free after all, so you help!

And so you both search for it, and you spot it and give it back to her and she is forever in your debt.

And so, like the sly fox she is, she slips you her number and she's all like "call me if you ever need me" and youre like wtf just happened that felt surreal but hey atleast you have a cute girl's number right?

RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS

Your love languages being words of affirmation+physical touch probably reallly help her feel affirmed in the relationship. She's insecure, so the reminder that you love her is never something that goes underappreciated!!! Sometimes she feels really bad for being so jealous but she's really trying for you it's so sweet <3

This'll sound random but she likes to write poems abt you. They're actually pretty good, all things considered- I mean I don't think there are any wood nymph schools, and even then, would they teach poetry? I suppose it depends on the god they follow, maybe- anyhow, her poems are so sweet and often contain small observations she's made of you and your habits.

She definitely understands how it feels to be high on your emotions(does that phrase make sense??). She's very aware of her emotions and I feel like as you both grew closer she would become hyper aware of yours. Despite how hard she can be to be around, she is definitely a fantastic person for taking care of people and their needs, so she knows how to help when you're upset!

I feel like she's a super encouraging girlfriend. She focuses a lot of positive energy on helping her partner in anyway she can. She would probably look into psychology to piece together just how she could help, because why should she just sit there and watch her darling be sad???

HANGING OUT

I'm not sure why but I feel like she's horrible at baking, despite the fact that she feels atleast semi-confident in her skills, so you baking with her!!! She tends to take more of a back-seat when baking with you, letting you lead the way, listing the instructions and ingrediants. She likes to see what you do :]

Naps!!! Juniper is the type to have her emotional energy reflect on her physical energy, so I feel like she gets sleepy easily when she's having an extra tiresome day. It'd be cute for you two to just curl up together and cuddle until you fall asleep <3

Juniper would probably love to share her hobbies with you. She would take you out and show you have to take care of plants, or take you to woods to info dump about flowers and fungi around the place. I think it would be cool cause you wouldn't really have to talk much and you both also walk around outside for a bit!

I think she would like to help you with puzzles. She certainly isnt as adapted to them as much as you have, but sometimes she clicks and she'll go "oh! I see it! look!!" and then she's proud of herself and gives herself a chance to do absolutely nothing to help but be a little more cheery in your presence.

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[kaptain-k-pop]

The K-list: Day 8

(THAT’S RIGHT! IT’S BACK BITCHES!!! more info abt the future of The K-list(™) at the end but first let’s talk abt that SONG amirite??*)

What U do?

EXO

I don’t know everything about the human experience or methods of dealing with mental health that have been clinically proven to be effective

But I do know that going on a drive with your long suffering best friend from high school and playing this song and emotionally serenading her and dramatically turning to her on every “이렇게” and “사랑해~💗” and throwing out fingerhearts at her is good for the human soul

Depression??

Idek her 👀

(at least for like. a little bit)

This song is just really fun and cute. It makes me very happy :) I love love 💗💗💗 I’m very soft tbh. So yeah, this track is perfect to add to any list of serotonin boosting bops (it’s definitely on mine)

(Also shout out to @uwujpgs for putting this in a playlist of song recommendations that she made for me last month before I even decided to seek out any EXO b-sides

Ily Bex! U have impeccable taste 😘💗)

*(Okay this part is just me babbling abt “the future of The K-list” so if you don’t care about that you can go now 😂: 

you may recall that the original K-list with it’s “Kjersten posts a different song reccomendation every day in June” concept was kinda a huge freakin flop….. 👀

But I have decided to revive it with a new concept called “Kjersten just occasionally makes posts about songs that she really likes and wants to gush about because she enjoys music and has a compulsive need to share her thoughts wants to share that enthusiasm. And she just updates the K-list whenever she has time/feels like it and she doesn’t freak out if she misses a day (or a few days) because time is not real and any sort of self imposed deadline in relation to this project is made up and not that important actually” I hope you all enjoy this new concept 👍

Also the focus is shifting a little bit. Technically this started as a list of my recommendations (and it is still about that to a degree) but now the focus is just gonna be me gushing about songs I like. I mean I will still talk about songs I really like that I feel are less well known and need to be recommended. But sometimes there might be a very popular song that everyone already knows about so it doesn’t need to be recommended but I’ll still gush about it bc this is my blog and I wanna. So it still does serve as a recommendation kinda bc it’s like “here’s a song I like, if you know it too that’s awesome, if not then I’m recommending it obviously!” But yeah now the recommendation is secondary. The purpose is ‘i like this song so I’m gonna gush abt it’ instead of 'here’s a song I’m recommending because I think it needs recommending’ ya know? There is a difference. The difference honestly doesn’t really matter though. I told you I was babbling akdkdjajs. Anyway if you put up with this rambling thanks I’m so sorry 💗)

[gendice]

lol

not to be negative on main but like it's 4am so anyway i recently came to the conclusion that i am like Most Likely Probably Never going to be in a legitimate long-term relationship both romantically and platonically because literally nothing about me is worthy enough to be loved like i suck in almost every aspect from looks to personality to my ability to maintain interpersonal relationships LMAO. nothing about me stands out i have zero redeeming factors that make people want to interact with me and stay friends with me?? i have really short shelf life like i have a really early expiry date yknow people might find me nice or ok to hang out with at the start but i am painfully aware that the more time they spend with me the more annoyed they'll get because i am, inherently, a fucking annoying person with an absolute shit personality lmao. theres always someone better theyd go for too so i just get. recycled.

and also recently ive been super self aware abt this super frustrating fact that i am just. a constant ball of conflict like 24/7 because part of me desperately wants to communicate my troubles to the people whom im closer to in my life but i also worry becauss i dont want to burden them in the sense that im implying that they have to be my therapist or whatever AND also ive just been putting on this façade for so long that im not fucked up and i dont want to just, yknow, reveal how messed up i am in so many ways. especially since theres a terrible stigma around mental illnesses in singapore lmao i cant imagine how much people would judge me if i , told them about stuff . i want to talk to people but im so scared of being vulnerable so my primative lizard brain just, swings me to the other extreme and i start to push people away bc like. better me rejecting them first then their inevitable rejection of me amirite (except logically, rationally, i know that its probably not going to be the case for everyone i know but i cant stop myself bc i am literally so terrified of what might happen that i always take this pseudo-safe route rip). like you know how this gives you a false sense of control because you can trick your stupid monkey brain that "we broke contact because i wanted to, not because they fucking hate your guts to bits"; yeah something like that. i have an unhealthy innate need for control in my life and it sucks big time.

and to think i cant even do this for friendships god knows that i would be an absolute nightmare to date because i cant imagine opening up to someone, without the fear that letting anyone know Absolutely Anything about me would mean instant fucking rejection. which sucks because i literally get crushes on people all the time lmao and i start thinking about love like a dumbass and i want to be able to experience love and i'd like to think that hopefully someone will love me, like for real love me and care about me but i just!!!! genujnely!!! cant!!!!!!!!

[fmdsungnam-blog]

hello there! my name is dee or as my friends like to call me: total mess. but for once in my life i was pro-active and came prepared so below the cut you can find out all about sungnam. and now here we go with links: public profile, personal profile, bio and plots. drop a like on this and i’ll im you for plots or just im me and yell at me abt a plot you like all interactions are accepted here.

before you go beneath the cut TWS for bullying, fat-shaming and eating disorders/anorexia. if any of those bother you i’ll have a tw on the specific bullet point so you can skip it.

if he had a real wikipedia page it would probably read smth like: gangnam (birth name gyeon sungnam) is the lead dancer and main rapper of MARS, runner up of show me the money 6, little brother of gyeon donghae and all around professional sunshine

probably not the person you would expect to be an idol (let alone a rapper tbh)? he’s super shy and soft-spoken and doesn’t always like being the center of attention + he’s always tripping over his own feet or well nothing at all in some cases (he once bit through his own lip after tripping over nothing and falling down the stairs so like legend amirite?)

tbh he ended up becoming an idol kind of just on a whim? his initial goal was actually to become a backup dancer but after seeing his siblings debut he was like ‘yo i wanna do that too’ but we’ll get to that part first! we have to talk abt some insecurities

// TW bullying, fat-shaming // see sungnam was very overweight for most of his childhood which wasn’t really a problem for his family but almost as soon as he started going to grade school the other kids picked on him mercilessly to the point where he’d often come home in tears bc no one wanted to be friends with the “fat kid”. he ended up starting dance as a way to lose weight bc as a little kid he figured if he could lose weight the other kids would actually like him (he didn’t really grasp that it would be a shallow friendship at the time) but he quickly fell in love with dancing and his parents agreed to let him keep taking lessons bc they could see the change in him // end TW //

in the end sungnam did end up losing a little weight but more importantly he made a lot of friends and found a lifelong passion so like suck it other second-graders sungnam wins

alright now back on to how he became an idol, // TW fat-shaming // he started auditioning in late 2007 right after he turned thirteen but kept getting turned down by the various agencies he auditioned for not because he wasn’t a talented prospect but because he was “too fat” although they never exactly phrased it that bluntly sungnam was made even more painfully aware of his weight by this // end TW // eventually though he was accepted by dimensions entertainment after thoroughly impressing the judges with a self-choreographed routine to a mashup of several usher songs

not that this was exactly....a happy ending for sungnam bc it really was not at all

// TW anorexia/eating disorder // basically sungnam kept failing to meet target weights which just made the trainers angrier with him and well he got verbally berated (and even made fun of by certain trainers who also coincidentally used his siblings being thinner and idols against him quite a lot) in front of all the other male trainees quite frequently so sungnam just stopped eating he’d go for days without doing more than just crunching on ice cubes it gave him the desired result of losing weight and also became the start of a serious problem // end TW //

eventually problem or no sungnam was confirmed for the lineup of mars and while their debut wasn’t exactly under.....ideal conditions he was still really happy and proud of himself and the other members bc like even if their debut was a bit rushed and only to try and bury the scandal with alien at least they actually y’know............debuted

// TW anorexia/eating disorder // debuting didn’t really help with his problem though and eventually his food restrictions became so severe that even fans started noticing how skinny he’d become it all came to a head when he ended up fainting at the end of a The Closer stage the subsequent hospital visit consisted of telling his family, members and dimensions management that a) sungnam was in the early stages of bone density loss b) he had developed a heart arrhythmia and c) the doctors believed that he was suffering from anorexia nervosa, dimensions ended up covering the incident up and releasing a statement to the effect that sungnam had caught a really bad case of the flu before they gave him several months rest and told him to start seeing a therapist or he would be dropped from MARS // end TW //

he was still in the process of recovering (and still is actually) when Dimensions decided to throw him back to the wolves and had him not only work on the Shangri-La comeback but also audition for Show Me the Money 6 -- probably no one expected him to actually make it that far bc dancing had always been more of Sungnam’s Thing than rapping and when MARS first debuted he wasn’t exactly...........well he wasn’t Show Me the Money material in 2014 

but Comeback King Gyeon Sungnam shocked everyone by making it all the way to the finals and he didn’t end up actually winning but he was first runner up which was still enough to make everyone aware that he was For Real Serious abt this rapping thing

anway here have ravi saying oh whoa whoa boy that’s no no boy no no no on a ten minute loop

[alexenglish]

1/2 YES lets talk abt zayn's obsession w niall's tummy!! if feel like ziall is/was alot abt gassing eachother up and really being there for one another. zayn didn't speak up much in interviews but when he did niall was always there acknowledging it/making sure everyone heard what zayn was saying. and on the other side of it i feel like zayn was really there to boost niall's confidence??? i def feel like there were moments where niall wasnt 100% confident in his body (ex: him not wanting to take

2/2 off his shirt in the wmyb video) so i think zayn really tried to compliment niall whenever he could! zayn was always so tender with niall and appreciative of him and i think those belly rubs are a sign of that affection. also nvr forget about zayn saying “yeah he’s cute” in that barbara walter’s interview when she asked if niall was the cute one!!!

I really love the idea that Zayn would love on Niall’s tummy as reaction to his confidence issues, how self-indulgent amirite? like Niall’s talking smack about the way he looks with a shirt off and Zayn pins him to the bed and tells him to be quiet and kisses all over his tummy while telling him all the things he loves about Niall until Niall is all blushing and squirmy and ULTRA EMBARRASSED about it, but he’s smiling and laughing and kisses Zayn very softly at the end as a thank you. and whenever Zayn touches Niall’s tummy, Niall’s reminded of that and it’s this really sweet thing that’s just for them omg :’(

[goldenscript]

here's your chance to spread some love! tag your top ten mutuals and name a few things you adore about them! 💓✨

here’s your chance to spread some love! tag your top five mutuals and name a few things you adore about them! 💓✨

better late than never to do this amirite?? ehe, well i’m in a pretty soft mood today - my mental state’s on the fritz but what’s new?? might as well just do something kind since i’ve been contemplative a lot lately! 

@jungnoir: hi my virgo bb who also loves to cause me grief, lemme just say that you’re honestly one of the sweetest and funniest girls i know, whether that’s in your fics or in chat. your writing style is so refreshingly your own and i know you wish you received more recognition for it (and i definitely do too) so just know that no matter what you’ll always hear screeching from me!!!

@yongceo: min bean! you’re always so kind and caring towards me. you have a1 posts and your love for woo is astronomical. thank you for always being your soft, kind self to me because that always helps get me through my day! 

@wonhopes: lmao THERE ARE MANY THINGS I’D SAY ABT YOU (and ofc they’re all good ‘cuz petty and salty as i am, ily a lot but you didn’t hear that from me). i adore how funny you are, girl. whenever you have something new to tell me i’m literally ready to bust out into laughter bc you’re so unabashed and unbothered and i fucking love it ok. keep loving ass and get that good d. 

@workofteaguk: TRACI

@taechubs: GRANNY!

@tendershepherd / @ralph-mountainlodge: my writing fairy godmother! a helpful and wonderful gal who is super kind and wonderful to chat with whether it’s about stories or just life in general (even if life is kinda meh rn). the point is you’re a very down to earth chickadee and i think anyone should bless themselves and read your stuff and chat with ya!!!!

@bodybcg / @trcgger: i can’t believe i haven’t mentioned you before! we talk quite often and you’re just an absolute sweet pea and i always enjoy talking to you and scrolling through your blog for the tags. i’m really glad we started talking and i hope we continue to do so!

@gukyi: bb! ok can i just say that you are so sweet and kind and a real trip? i love how easily and casually we can talk with one another! and i also love your stories! (don’t worry i’m slowly reading more and more ok!) i especially love your response to your most recent story (the fiye sequel) bc i think it’s so inspirational that you drew real life elements and conceptualized it into a story without losing that real life essence. when i read that i was completely starstruck so kudos

@guktwt: MARA BB!!!!! i’m sorry i still haven’t read the second part to your jk fic but i promise i will soon! i just wanted to say that your aesthetic is adorable, your writing is fantastic, and you are a grade A cutie!! good luck in school and ily

@1honeypot: we don’t talk but that’s ok!!! i just wanted to say that i completely adore your aesthetic and your personality. even though it’s the internet and posts  can only express so much of who we are, i always feel like i see yours pushing through. you’re really funny and you have great ass taste in dudes i.e park jimin (yes plz) & ming^2 from svt like dude i think we’d be fantastic friends but i’m too damn shy sometimes kjdshfsjdkh anyway anyway, everything about you is super great and keep strong!!!!! 

i’ll add on an additional five bc why tf not! 

@hyungjooki: you’re always so upfront and kind and i love that about you, lei. i appreciate that you don’t beat around the bush and that we can talk so easily together! i love that you’re a multifandom blog also ‘cuz that is the mf struggle hands down! 

@jinkimon: fari!!!!!!!! your fics are divine and you are as sweet as caramel i swear! i hope everyone else gives what you write a read bc it is pure gold especially with you and you’re girl group activism ok bc they deserve all the credit and acknowledge in the world.

@choco-seventeen: choco! your blog is literally the flippin’ cutest and your writing is so pretty. whenever i need svt inspo, i truly do look to you and i sincerely thank you for always being so kind to your followers!

@inktae: we don’t talk as much though i hope that changes soon! i  just wanted to say that you’re a very kind person that i often find myself striving to be like, both in just everyday life and in writing. you’re truly a gift, mari

@jiminniemouse: your blog is on point, girl. your aesthetic, your jikook lovin’ posts + monsta x + nct (like hell yeah, multifandom life!!), and your writing! honestly i remember reading your stuff a whole summer ago and getting dragged even deeper into the bts fandom. thank you, seriously! it’s still nuts to me that i’m mutuals with you and amanda when i used to stay up late at night reading all those glorious stories.

[hottakeswithdasom]

500 Days of Summer

More like 500 days of dumber am i right

Literally horrible

Just the worst

I cant believe i watched that with my own eyes

Once again the white heteros strike back with even more filth that would make ScarJo vom. Jk

Its the same sickeningly sweet love story about a boy at his "corporate soul-sucking" job meets girl there working as the hot...wait for it... ~☆secretary☆~. Seriously? Just watch The Office. At least its actually funny. And her name is...SUMMER. WOAH. They make out at an office bar/karaoke party, but not before theres a highly intellectual conversation about how she thinks that women should be more independent abt relationships in general(like...ok) and the MC (i fukin forgot his stage name so lets call him Bob) is like "uhh but dont u care abt being married and stuff" and shes like "no not rlly" and then his JACKASS DRUNK FRIEND comes over and is like "ha does that mean ur a lesbian". Somehow, she has the self control to not rip off his dick and respond "yea women can be independent". Drunk friend guy is like "woahhh ur like a dude now". Filth

By the way, the entire movie is displayed in the typical "Vignettes scattered around for some reason" form. Its supposed to be like each day is a day of summer and so each vignette is out of 500 days. Yeah? Ok.

So Bob and Summer start going out, doing typical quirky indie stuff like listen to Beatles and The Smiths records, shouting "Penis" in a public park with children in it for no reason other to be quirky, pretending they live as husband and wife at Ikea, you know. Ugahhab they make an "Asian family" joke that makes me want to stab their eyes out. They basically start running around Ikea, being nasty lovey dovey making out on a bed in PUBLIC and Bob whispers to her "Theres an asian family in our bathroom" and the camera pans to see an asian family in the bathroom watching them.

Im so tired of asians being the butt of a joke, LIKE BILLY BOB AND SUMMER WERENT SUPPOSED MOVE THEIR WHITE NASTY ASSES OUT OF IKEA like assholes the family was minding their own fucking business and these horny bitches think they own the ikea get tf outta here that shit isnt just unfunny its racist as hell. Its supposed to make me think "aha asians? Thats so random. They shouldnt be in this movie at all, in fact, thats why its funny. Because anywhere they go, it'll always be unnatural. Even ikea."

ANYWAYS later theyre at a bar and Summer doesnt rlly want to talk to Bob and a stereotypically cartoon villian guy tries to hit on her and when she turns him down, he's like "whaaaaa but im so hot" and shes like "nah" and hes like "ok whatever i cant believe thats ur boyfriend though" and then BOB PUNCHES HIM BECAUSE OF THAT???? Like ughbsbsb so selfish he wasnt even doing it for her, he was just doing it for his manly pride. NOT EVEN SELF-DEFENSE LIKE FUCK OFF

A happy surprise, Summer is mad at Bob for doing that, but Bob doesnt think so. Later he practically makes her apologize to him as if what he did wasnt messed up??

They eventually break up, and he goes through the Im gonna win her back phase, where he goes to a party that she throws and tries to woo her with a gift. Its an architecture book. Oh yeah he wants to be an architect by the way, but instead for some reason he works at a greeting card company. He writes greetings. Thats all he does. The corporate man bringing him down amirite. Surprise surprise, its not her favorite thing in the world, and she reveals that shes engaged. Bob storms outta there and spends the next several months coming late to work, drinking combinations of whiskey and orange juice and twinkies. Nasty.

His boss keeps kindly asking him to up his work rate REASONABLY because hes been depressed and Bob basically is like fuck off. Finally, at a board meeting, Bob flips the fuck out and screams at all of coworkers that life is meaningless, and that theyre all wasting their lives writing meaningless shit on greeting cards and he gets the chance to say he quits. He isnt even fired he just gets to quit.

Oh yeah side note, throughout the whole movie theres this littles girl that i think is supposed to be Bob's sister and she gives him love advice??? Shes like 12??? She says "dont be a pussy"???? Like wow edgy ok

Anyways so he quits his job and idk he starts wanting to be an architect again, as shown by this unnecessary montage of him drawing buildings on his chalkboard wall in his bedroom.

He meets Summer on a park bench one day, and shes basically like "i hope u find someone" and hes like "ok". Then he goes to an interview to be an architect, when, lo and behold, theres ANOTHER GIRL applying for the same job and the narrator is like "And this is how Bob realized that miracles dont exist". Bob asks her out and shes says her name is Autumn. WOAHHHSHAHBAHAJSJJWKEHDBH GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SYMMMMMMMMBOLISMMMMMMM

This was worse than the hetero logic in How I Met Your Mother, and almost everything was the same. Even the part about the MC wanting to be am architect. Bc i guess all little white boys dream of becoming an architect-the most painfully math-driven job in the world that is almost nothing like just drawing pretty pictures. And white girls are ok with that for some reason. Like robots

1/10 The hot surgeon friend

1/10 The super kind coworkers at the Hallmark

1/10 idk

=3/10