#i jusy wanna. get all of this off my chest

[synthleeius]

Tickletober day 1 - anticipation

hi omg. i absolutely hate this but i wanna try and to tickletober this year since ive never done it before and it feels weird if i dont do the 1st one so ☹️☹️ and just know its 2am and im tired but i wanted to get this done so if its shit literally jusy dont read it

pairing; lee!reader x ler!venti

Venti huffed, letting his hands rest on his hips. He had been looking for his hat everywhere, but to no avail. And he swore he left it riigghhtt on his lamp before he went to bed last night! How strage..

“Windblume!” He called out from his doorway, before beginning to make his way to your room in the teapot you two shared. “Have you seen my–”

He couldn't help but smile when he saw the same hat he turned his room upside down for, sitting lopsided on your head. He moved to stand in front of your sitting figure, then spoke; “My hat, love?”

“Huh?– oh! Yeah, I borrowed it.” You replied, looking up at your beloved with a casual expression. You didn't think he would really mind when you did take it.. but in your defence, he was asleep! And you were going to return it.. eventually.

“..Oh come on, here.” You rolled your eyes lovingly when you saw the stern look on his face, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down on you. “Better?” You asked after had taken the hat off of your own head and placed it onto his, just the way he liked it.

“Almost,” He said with an innocent looking smirk, (well.. innocent enough.) taking the book you were previously reading and placing it to the side. “Just one more thing you can do. Yknow, to make it up to me!”

“And that is..?” You asked, your attention fully on the bard in front of you now. “Stay still, is all. Surely you can manage that, my beloved~” He said in a dragged out tone, moving to push you down onto your bed, a singular hand of his holding both of yours above your head.

“..Venti? What are yo– no.”

“And that's what I would've said if you had asked to try my hat on!” He huffed, lowering his free hand to the side of your torso.

You jerked your body away, a soft squeak leaving your lips. “hah– I didn't think yohou’d mind! I swear!” In all honesty, you knew if you had asked he would've said yes anyways.. What a dramatic little bard you had.

“Oh, now you're laughing at me are you?” The bard in question spoke in a ‘stern’ tone, “Now I really have to get you~” His signature giggle filled the air, looking up at your flushed face to make sure your eyes weren't on him, but his fingers instead.

He let his fingertips rise near your ribs, resulting in another jerk away and a gasp on your side. “Come on, this is ridiculous. I didnt even do ahanyth– can you stop doing that already?!”

You huffed the words out when his nails wiggled towards your stomach, slowly dropping down until they were inches away from the skin. Only then would he pull back, returning to his previous position above. “What? Does it tickle, windblume~?” He questioned with a genuine tone, but that shit-eating smirk on his face told you he knew what he was doing.

“No, I'm just laughing because I feel like it. Yes, it fucking- ohokay ohokay! I'm sorry! God, somebody's sensitive..” You began to return the sarcasm, before he simply tilted his head and moved his hand to rest on your inner bicep. “Uhuh, that's what I thought, my love. Now.. where was I?”

You slightly regret the words you spoke that made him switch to a different spot, because this was arguably worse. He was repeating the same spidering motion, directly above your underarms. Your senses set off, causing you to lean back into the bed and attempt to tug your arms down to cover the sensitive area.

“Bad spot?” He asked, “By how much your giggling, I think it iiiss~”

You simply whined in response, rolling your eyes away from his hand and turning your head to the side to try and get rid of the tingling sensation. Though, it didn't help much. His hand being blocked from your view did not block out the slight graze every few seconds, maybe even made the feeling worse. “You're the worst.”

“Yknow what else is the worst?” He said in a sigh, tilting his head away from you in a fake thinking look. As he did, his hand suddenly squeezed onto your sides, causing electricity to shoot into your nerves. “Waking up and looking for your hat, only to find out a special somebody took it after spending 10 minutes trying to find it!”

“Ohohonly 10 mihinutes? Yohour just inpatient!” You giggled out, his movements causing your body to reflectivity twist away from him. “Yeah, and I'm not the one pinned down right now. Maybe you should learn to watch your tone, my love~”

“Maybe yohou shou- fuhuhuck, ohokay! Ihi give, juhust stohop!” You couldn't help but give up when he began to scribble his fingers along your stomach, causing him to laugh at your quick efforts to escape the feeling.

“Mm.. fine, fine~ Just one last thing though..” He let his grip off of your wrists, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek as he did. “If you’ll allow me, of course.”

You slowly quickly moved your arms to the sides before he got anymore ideas, letting out soft breathy giggles and turning to look at him again. "Hah.. your already here, aren't you? ..Fine, make it quick."

He didnt respond in words, but rather by hiking your shirt up to your upper waist and sliding his hands down to your hips. While pressing his thumbs gently into the skin as small circle, he leant down to press a soft kiss to the middle of your stomach.

“Ah.. yohour so sappy, Venti.” You responded with a soft gasp and giggle, not being able to help the small shuffles your body involuntarily did after. “I know I am.. But you looovee it~”

He spoke his words into the skin of your torso, only making it all the more worse for you. He let out a soft giggle, before looking up at you. “Okay, okay.. Actual last thing. You ready, windblume~?”

You couldn't suppress the giddly smile that formed on your lips, nodding before letting your head fall back onto the blanket. “Yeheah..”

You listened to him take in a deep breath, before pushing his lips into your stomach and blowing a raspberry directly in the middle.

"AHahah- aharcons, yohour hohorrible!" You whined out, shoving his hands off of your hips and turning onto your side.

"Mm, the archons have heard your complaints love.." He said in a played on uninterested tone, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Now, I trust you'll be getting ready? After all, were going out to Mondstadt.."

"..Ugh, yeah.." You groaned, moving to return the kiss on his cheek. "I will.."

[gendice]

lol

not to be negative on main but like it's 4am so anyway i recently came to the conclusion that i am like Most Likely Probably Never going to be in a legitimate long-term relationship both romantically and platonically because literally nothing about me is worthy enough to be loved like i suck in almost every aspect from looks to personality to my ability to maintain interpersonal relationships LMAO. nothing about me stands out i have zero redeeming factors that make people want to interact with me and stay friends with me?? i have really short shelf life like i have a really early expiry date yknow people might find me nice or ok to hang out with at the start but i am painfully aware that the more time they spend with me the more annoyed they'll get because i am, inherently, a fucking annoying person with an absolute shit personality lmao. theres always someone better theyd go for too so i just get. recycled.

and also recently ive been super self aware abt this super frustrating fact that i am just. a constant ball of conflict like 24/7 because part of me desperately wants to communicate my troubles to the people whom im closer to in my life but i also worry becauss i dont want to burden them in the sense that im implying that they have to be my therapist or whatever AND also ive just been putting on this façade for so long that im not fucked up and i dont want to just, yknow, reveal how messed up i am in so many ways. especially since theres a terrible stigma around mental illnesses in singapore lmao i cant imagine how much people would judge me if i , told them about stuff . i want to talk to people but im so scared of being vulnerable so my primative lizard brain just, swings me to the other extreme and i start to push people away bc like. better me rejecting them first then their inevitable rejection of me amirite (except logically, rationally, i know that its probably not going to be the case for everyone i know but i cant stop myself bc i am literally so terrified of what might happen that i always take this pseudo-safe route rip). like you know how this gives you a false sense of control because you can trick your stupid monkey brain that "we broke contact because i wanted to, not because they fucking hate your guts to bits"; yeah something like that. i have an unhealthy innate need for control in my life and it sucks big time.

and to think i cant even do this for friendships god knows that i would be an absolute nightmare to date because i cant imagine opening up to someone, without the fear that letting anyone know Absolutely Anything about me would mean instant fucking rejection. which sucks because i literally get crushes on people all the time lmao and i start thinking about love like a dumbass and i want to be able to experience love and i'd like to think that hopefully someone will love me, like for real love me and care about me but i just!!!! genujnely!!! cant!!!!!!!!

[cosmicak]

Baby Ward

So! Here’s a Mom! V Drabble based off a conversation I had on discord about our collective RiVer Cyberpunk oc - baby Jackie Robert Ward. I threw some angst in there because of course

Prompt:

“River you’re not taking our child to a bar Ward”

1.3k words

Enjoy!

River wasn’t sure what was worse, He wouldn’t be around to keep an eye on his young son or that his beloved wife was heading into a bar with said son.

“Babe..can’t you just let Joss take him for the day? Even Panam or-“

“We’ll be fine Riv! isn’t that right Jackie?” V cooed to their son, currently strapped to her chest, eyes wide in wonder. He was almost one and V thought it was a better time than any to introduce lil Jackie Ward to El Coyote.

“He’s only 10 months V! You can’t take him to a bar!” He argued, cases left forgotten on his desk as he stood. V only waved him off as she put baby Jackie’s own little set of aviators - courtesy of Johnny Silverhand.

“He’s a Welles child, it’s in his namesake to go River, he’ll be fine” V grinned, slapping a ‘baby on board’ sign to the chest strap “Johnny will be there and Mama Welles will be around anyway”

River was still apprehensive, he knew their son would be in great hands, considering the about of aunts and uncles the kid had in Night City, but the cop part of him always knew just what could happen. “Tell me you weren’t going to take the Arch into town”

“Well..”

“V!”

“Alright alright..I’ll call the Hella..”

-

“Ayy..look at you, cute as can be eh?” Pepe cooed to the wide eyed baby playing with his cross necklace, V smiled down at her son.

“Still weird seein’ you with a baby, V” She heard Johnny to her left, peeking over her shoulder at the boy. “ ‘s preem your tits got bigger though”

“Fuck off Joh—“ V smiled before a sharp slap hit the back of her head. “Ow!”

“Watch your language around the baby, Mija” Mama Welles warned, taking a seat at the bar next to V. “Give me my grandson if you’re going to keep cursing”

She heard Johnny and Pepe chuckle to themselves as she unstrapped Jackie, handing him to his Abuela, posture straightening as the weight was taken off her front.

Jaquito “Jackie” Robert Ward was a big boy, much like his father and over the months V had been knocked up her back ached, so any relief on her back was a blessing in her eyes. V unstrapped the baby carrier and threw it over Johnny’s shoulders.

“You’re just usin’ me as a baby carrier now” He complained as V tightened the straps around his torso. “After all we’ve been through”

“Oh grow up Johnny, not even a week ago you were boasting how much pussy my son got you”

“Touché, V”

-

“Alright Kid, repeat after me- Daddy says oink!” Johnny exclaimed to the infant currently strapped to his chest, looking innocently up at him. Big brown eyes oblivious to the antics.

“Give me nothin’ why don’t ya” He sighed, sliding his own aviators over his eyes, scanning the room for V. She’d gone upstairs with Padre a while ago and left the kid to the worst possible babysitter. Johnny sighed, not one chick in sight he could use the baby against to get laid, and he couldn’t even smoke.

A whimper interrupted his sulking, a glance down saw that lil Jackie was about to scream his little lungs out. Johnny stood and quickly stormed his way upstairs, an ear piercing cry starting as he locked eyes with V.

“Take the fuckin’ kid V”

V rolled her eyes and said a quick goodbye to Padre before making her way over to Johnny and her son, lifting the boy from the carrier.

“Shhh, hey..hey it’s alright Jackie baby..I know his ugly mug is upsetting to look at..” she cooed, hot tears spilling from the boys eyes gradually slowed, Jackie only whimpered once V held him in her arms long enough. “See you’re fiiine..Mommy’s got you”

“Take him downstairs V, doubt the smoke up here will do him any good” Padre called, V nodded and gestured for Johnny to follow her downstairs as she cradled the boy in her arms.

Once downstairs V took him to Jackie’s ofrenda, still the same even years after the funeral.

“Little Jaquito, meet Big Jaquito..” She smiled to herself, kissing the baby’s forehead.

“Jack..meet my son, Jackie Ward..sorry it took me so long to uh..introduce him to you, choom..” V sighed, swallowing the lump forming in her throat. She felt the ‘ganic hand of Johnny rubbing circles on her back, staying silent. “You would’a loved him Jack..he’s the splitting image of me..‘sides the tan skin he gets from his father”

She held her son to her chest, the sound of her heartbeat lulling the boy to sleep, one hand came up and wiped her eyes, still finding herself getting overwhelmed with grief about his death. Jaquito’s weight and Johnny’s hand on her back kept her grounded enough to continue.

“You um..you’d like his pops, Jack..He’s a real family man, stuck by me even when I was dyin’” V chucked softly, thinking back on the earlier days with her husband. “Not bad for an ex cop either, bet you’d never have thought I’d get hitched to one of NCPD’s finest huh?”

“I don’t think anyone would have seen that one coming V, don’t exactly have a sparkling rep with the boys in blue of NC” V spun around to face one Panam Palmer.

“Panam? What the fuck are you doin’ in NC?” V asked, handing Jackie to Johnny to dab at her eyes.

“Weeeeell, I stopped by your place to demand some Aunt and Baby time but River told me you had taken our boy to the Coyote” Panam gestured to the uncomfortable looking Silverhand with Jackie pulling at his dog tags. “So here I am! now give me the handsome lil guy”

Johnny quickly exchanged Jackie from his hip to Panam’s, visibly relaxing as he did so.

“And here I was thinkin’ you meant me, you wound me Panam” He sighed, V rolled her eyes, moving over to the nomad.

“I know what kinda lil guy you got Silverhand, I ain’t interested” she shot over to him before diverting her attention back to the boy in her arms. “Aren’t you jusy the cutest little man! Oh yes you are”

Jackie woke up with a startle as V burst out laughing, soon screaming his displeasure to his aunt and mother as Johnny swiftly crossed the room to the bar for a stiff drink.

-

V pulled up to the trailer park just as dusk started, pulling a sleeping Jackie from his car seat and making her way up the porch stairs with the softest steps to avoid waking the sleeping boy in her arms.

Once she was inside, V sought out River who was talking with Randy about one of his cases. Upon seeing his wife and son he excused himself and crossed the room to gather them in his arms.

“Big day huh?” River asked, watching as Jackie didn’t so much as stir at the movement, clinging to V’s tank top.

“Oh fuck yeah, He was a hit at the coyote, between Mama Welles, Panam and Pepe, I barely had him to myself” V kissed their son’s tuff of hair before letting out a yawn. “and defendin’ him from Johnny’s bad influences really drained me too”

River smiled down at V, a warm feeling taking spreading in his chest. He gently unhooked Jackie’s little fingers from his mother’s clothes and held him close, giving V a kiss to her own head.

“Go take a nap V, We’ve been due for some Father Son time today anyway” He murmured into her hair, making her laugh before she headed for the bedroom, waving to Randy as she did.

“Alright little man, wanna hear about what dad’s been up to today huh?” He chuckled as Baby Jackie stired and squinted up at his father.

“You’ll only bore him back to sleep with that shit Uncle Riv” Randy called out, prompting River to shoot his nephew a mean look

“Randy!”

“Yeah yeah, language, like Aunt V’s friends aren’t as bad” River could only sigh and cover his son’s free ear, taking his seat and settling the boy in his lap, smiling down at his son.

“Yeah I know”

-

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel II:

they still haven’t told me why it’s Class VII

So I liked this WAY more than CS1, thumbs up

I am annoyed that the only new location was Ymir (WHAT A COINCIDENCE that all the important places in the war were specifically ones Rean had been to already)

I just really wanna go to Parm idk

Bless Anton for showing up right at the end and giving me just enough AP to make A0

(fav Anton and Ricky subplot yet, god I love those guys)

I LOVED how tactile all the reunions were! I love it when fictional characters hug it makes me happy

I found it extremely funny that the final boss straight up tells the characters ‘hey, there’s literally no point to fighting me, you’ll gain nothing except closure I guess’ like that’s VERY on the nose and meta for a final boss

The game does have some real ending fatigue though, I don’t think we needed the epilogue

I did like the final boss though - up until that point, I had become so good at using my Dream Team of Rean, Elliot, Machias and Jusis (or Nuke-sis, as I call him, for his insane levels of arts damage output) that everything had got kinda dull for me. But final boss was actually a challenge, I had to think rather than just using the strategy that had worked on everything else

Which was Rean delays, Elliot heals/deals arts damage, Jusis drops arts nukes, and Machias does miscellaneous support/uses his link ability to keep Jusis’s EP topped up

Oh yeah I had them linked through pretty much the whole game and they hated it and it was super funny

So OH MAN, in their linked victory battle ending screen thing, Jusis goes ‘not bad, you actually held your own for once’

And it’s a little muffled, so the first time I heard it I swear I thought Machias responded with ‘you know what you can hold? Your damn top!’ and I dropped my controller. Had to go out of my way to win another battle with a link attack because no, no way-

He

Um

He said ‘tongue’

Anyway, characters!

Rean: Immediately upon starting up the game I found Ride Along Estelle in my DLC inventory and equipped it in the hopes that it would inspire Rean to be a better protagonist. It... kinda worked? I don’t hate him anymore, and I was pretty hyped to learn he was Osbourne’s son

And then Lloyd showed up immediately afterwards and I was like ‘oh wait here’s a protagonist I actually LOVE, nvm bye Rean lol’

Alisa: I literally never use Alisa unless the game makes me lol she was there and I don’t hate her but also I cannot remember a single interesting thing she did. Even during her one bit of plot relevance she was overshadowed by Angelica it’s hilarious that the marketing makes her out to be the deteuragonist 

Elliot: A GOOD BOY who served me incredibly well with his off the charts healing crafts, I can’t believe I started CS1 not liking him much and thinking him useless. I love the little dance he does in his idle animation

Laura: I still like Laura, I wish she was more plot relevant. I don’t feel strongly about her, but she’s always a welcome addition to any scene

Machias: Unpopular opinion probably but I really like him, even if his outfit in this game was awful. So are his alt outfits. Fashion disaster. I bought him contact lenses from a shady highway business man because he looks better without glasses. I made him ludicrously bulky, if he’d just had some kind of taunt craft to protect Jusis (squishy mage) with he’d be a perfect tank

I’m a fan of him in a ‘this is my trash son’ kind of way lol

Emma: Uhhh kinda boring which is impressive since she’s actually important and pseudo-related to Vita and all. Btw I guessed she was a witch in chapter goddamn three of CS1 after reading the folklore book, and I find it extremely wild that it’s either a dragged out, foregone conclusion if you have read the book, OR witches even existing is completely out of nowhere if you haven’t

Jusis: My favourite, because I’m basic. But like, he’s seriously the most interesting of the guys, and I made him Rean’s best friend (only one I got to rank 7 with lol). And his bonding event in Bareahard was so gooood!

I find it incredibly funny that he insists he and Machias aren’t friends because 1. Yes you are and 2. Do you even have any other non-Rean friends, guy? You literally never hang out with anyone else unless it’s plot related

Still low key ship it. Enjoy that Rean does too, apparently. Still reeling over their Trial Chest’s quote

His second S-Craft is ridiculous looking

Fie: Most interesting girl, love how she just doesn’t get flustered ever, funniest character, best girl in the game, what the HELL was that outfit

Gaius: I keep forgetting Gaius exists lol. I don’t dislike him, but he’s not very interesting to me. He’s Zin, or Noel

Millium: Man do I want to know more about Millium. Her whole thing about learning to cry... so sad and SO fascinating. What is the deal with her and Altina?!?

Sara: I hated Sara at the start of CS1. Now I adore her. God she’s just the best. Please let her interact with Schera please please please Falcom

Towa: Cutest! She’s so cute and I still love her and I did her final event even though she is TOO GOOD for Rean! She got to be a captain! I love her!

As for more minor characters - still think Angie’s great, just wish she wasn’t kinda creepy about her love of girls, deeply dislike that the game ship teases her and GEORGE, who I still otherwise find inoffensive but also, you know, male, Alfin is great, Toval is great too and I still can’t get over him being Toby, stop teasing Claire with Rean let there be one woman who isn’t into him please, oh good Sharon’s here and they don’t do that with her and she’s awesome also can’t believe I used to not like her, more Olivier always please, same with Mueller, Celine is Morgana from P5 except better in every conceivable way, Crow :(, all the Ouroboros lot are great as always, and Elise is easily my least favourite character in this franchise and can get in the sun for all I care 

I read a transcript of the drama CD and hey Rean’s dad can also get in the sun for saying that his adopted son isn’t good enough to marry his biological daughter like where do you even start-

I love that I’ve gone from reacting to Ouroboros appearances like ‘oh shit oh no’ to going ‘oh shit it’s these fucking clowns (affectionate) again’

Still love Beryl. Also love Lambert

When they mentioned ‘Mueller’s friend’ I thought it would be Julia and I was so excited and then so disappointed that it was Neithardt who I still don’t like

Elliot’s dad looks ridiculous riding on top of that tank

I loved riding the bike around SO MUCH, even if it took me a while to get a hang of the controls  

Aurelia Le Guin is just Edelgard Fire Emblem, right? And Bardias is Claude? Except I guess this game came first, so like, other way around

Man I loved flying around on the Courageous. Also I FINALLY got a map, all I wanted in CS1 was to see a map of the country 

However, Act 1 was definitely my favourite part - the sequence where the kids have to sneak through the railway lines under the bridge to get to Garrelia is one of my favourite parts of this entire series. I kind of wanted the whole game to just be this group of teenagers trying to lay low and survive a civil war while also travelling and helping out from place to place

I uh... I want JRPG Life is Strange 2

Why is there a snowboarding minigame. I mean, I loved it, but... why is it there?

I still really miss the old battle orbment designs from Sky. The ARCUSs just aren’t as cool :(

I watched the secret Black Records scene on YouTube and I am so happy to finally have an explanation for Rosine, it was really bothering me that she seemed so out of place at a military academy

I’m very very hype to play CS3 based on the spoilers I have for who will be making appearances...

:D

Seriously why is everything in these games azure though just say blue-

[random-things-thoughts13]

Trigger warning: not gonna lie this is me getting some stuff off my chest. It's family related stuff and im not gonna lie there's some really fucked up stuff that's about to be said... I'm not sure what i would calls these triggers or more like what they would fall under so im doing a over all trigger warning.

My family is definitely the kind in which it forgets that kids are humans, humans that are still learning but still very much human. Like telling us not to do something and turning around doing themselves, acting as if they don't make any mistakes while grilling us for ours...nit giving us any type of respect

For example growing up my grandmother liked grabbing (didn't help that my brother would join in) my ass, even after i would tell her stop.. but telling her to stop would get me in trouble by the adults in the room telling me that shouldn't talk to my grandmother like that

Their actions telling me that my grandmother had more rights to my body then me (im not alone)

They was big on asking us at a young age if we had boyfriends or any and every time we had any interactions with the opposite sex that they where our partner... joking or not when you're feeling as if something is wrong with you for not being attracted to what they think you should be attracted to it jusy adds (I'm not saying this fucked me up, im just saying it didn't help me during the time i was thinking something was wrong with me for being gay with their actions saying that i needed to be a boy as if that was my one and only option to pick from)

My earliest memory, is my grandmother trying to "help" me learn spelling and her getting mad and yelling that i was retarded for messing up or for taking too long.

My grandmother treating me as if I'm a overall burden in her life

My grandmother asking around Christmas what i want and then pretty much grilling me for not having the money thing

Being compared to my older brother and always being stupid. Being the hateful grandchild even after all my brother has done from stealing from our grandfather to cussing them out when he doesn't get his way

Most of the super fucked up shit happened between me and grandmother, now that I'm older and don't have to put up with. I don't... for most part I've cut her out... when i was younger i would say i loved her just because she's my grandmother now it's pretty safe to say feeling of hate is mutual, and she can tell me that she loves me all she wants her actions say otherwise amd now for the most part she's either forgotten or acts like she's forgotten what pain she cased me and for the most part my family acts as if i should just be okay now, just be okay with what happened... no bitch just because you're old doesn't make up for the pain you cased me as kid, the shit that still effects me to this day... the answer is no and when and if i forgive her well be done on my time and done for me case i believe to forgive is a act of self love because you're letting go... but most times it's easier said than done.

My mom i feel as if has never done anything to purposely hurt me, depression has also made me feel otherwises but that's depression for ya.. something that happened between us that well always hurt thou....

One day in high school, i wanna say it was my second year of it. My depression as at a all time low, it was the dead of winter and there was snow on the ground and icy parts in the river close to my high school.

This day, was the day i was planning to kill myself... i was going to walk to a jumping point close to the freezing water, undress and jump in.

But i didn't, i had a second voice telling me to get help so thats what i did instead... at the time it was a BIG mistake. I got yelled at by my mom,brother and grandmother. Monked by my brother.

The regret i felt for not going through with my plan that day, is the same regret i feel on my worst days

I pray no one feels this type of regret

[moonchildstyles]

I’m so ashamed to even write this but I can just imagine him with his dick out jerking jt the fuck off and cum just spilling out BUT ITS HARRY AND HES INNOCENT BUT I ALSO WOULDNT MIND SUCKINF HIS DICK LIKE BRUHH . I wanna expose my identity but don’t wanna get judged 🙃

maam.......I KNOW😔😔😔😔 like esp on the road I’m sure he watches it on his phone w his Airpods so he can like move around w/o getting caught in the wire and hes throwing his head back when it jusy feels SO GOOD and slowing down before cumming Bc he’s watched this video before and he knows this one part he really likes is coming and doesn’t want to finish before that and he’s just moaning Bc he knows exactly what feels good and his like.....his cross tattoo jusy being....right there👁👁 and then he cums all over his chest and is like panting and jusy wishes he had someone there to clean it up for him and lick his cum and ma’am..............

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Oh my god, i've never felt like i couldn't breathe as much as i just did reading chapter four of void. I am /freaking/ /out/, like FUCK that is just too much!! I felt like passing out too, ahh my chest still kinda hurts from holding my breath akshsjaj 😂😭 dude.. You are.. Wow. I feel speechless lol! I can't freaking believe this is happening, it's being sent back to earth!!!! Like!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe this is really real, i'm in shock. I feel like i'm dreaming and 1+

myjeansareonfire said: that didn't actually jusy happen 😭 i am so PISSED OFF at everyone!!! Fucking yoongi for making a copy! Fucking tae & jungkook for teasing oc! Fucking tae and jimin for fighting over that shit!!!!!!!!!!!! Bless hoseok and jin for staying professional but 😳 ahh idkidkIDK man my mind is racing 2+

myjeansareonfire said: and.. namjoon. Ah, namjoon. Our strong commander, making the hard decisions, taking responsibility :( he's got something hot coming his way but also a very difficult decision to make. & damn, i wanna stay optimistic! !! There are a million ways this could go but the first of the 3 main ones i'm thinking of is namjoon, the professional commander that he is, reports it back to earth & a punishment is bestowed upon oc, as well as yoongi. But the punishment would definitely be a lot worse for oc 3+

myjeansareonfire said: the second thing is if namjoon decides to delete the video, and for oc's sake and everyone's sake and for the sake of the mission, he orders everyone to never ever speak of it again or engage in any activities that could compromise the mission, and he doesn't report back to earth. Like it never even happened. The third thing is if he decides to call oc into his office after he's done inspecting the footage and he gives her what he wants 👅 4+

myjeansareonfire said: ah.. And dude jungkook had me laughing at first when he said he was in love with her, he was just in love with the sight of her pussy smH, poor young lonely boy 5+

myjeansareonfire said: all i wanted to do in that last scene was take oc away somewhere away from the crew, their guilty eyes, hoseok's confused ones, and just bundle her up in my arms and tell her it was all going to be okay. I was legit tearing up like damn i wanted to be there for her so bad 😭 i just want to sing to her and let her cry, tell her to stop suppressing her tears. I think i'm in love with her tbh LOL 6+

myjeansareonfire said: but also BACKTRACKING a bit.. 🚨Hoseok Theory🚨maybe hoseok seemingly has the most self control (despite small slip ups of physical contact before he quickly retracts himself) because he's is in love with her and there for cares the most about her and the consequences that will/could happen if they were to get involved 7+

myjeansareonfire said: This fic is going to become legendary. Years from now, people will still read this or stumble upon it and become as blessed as the rest of us have. It'll go down in history, it'll become the fanfic version of like water for chocolate, you'll become the tumblr version of laura esquivel. Bee, you are truly magnificent 8(final)

myjeansareonfire said: 💖🌻🌹🌼🌱💕🌸💖🌻🌺🌱🌷🌻💕💫

GAH!!!! These comments are so lovely! I was grinning like a madwoman as I read them back. You’re so kind and lovely and enthusiastic. Thank you so much! 

Sorry for the angst and the anger! A lot of my readers are pissed at our troublesome boys at the moment. Namjoon definitely has some difficult decisions headed his way in the next chapter. 

I died laughing at “just in love with the sight of her pussy”. Poor Jungkook...

Aww, I love that you love her. That makes me so happy. I’m glad you can identify with her so strongly. 

I like your Hoseok theory. 😉

You are magnificent! Thank you so much my friend!

💖🌻🌹🌼🌱💕🌸💖🌻🌺🌱🌷🌻💕💫

[leoninaiart]

Shance - Little notes.

Just imagine Lance liking Shiro so much and wanting to cheer him up bc he sees how stressed the older one is. So he decided to leave some notes with cheering words on them.

But the thing is he is so damn embarrassed that he wrote them in Spanish because he wants to cheer Shiro but he can't help the embarrassment that comes with the idea of his hero reading some cheesy notes. And obviously Shiro doesn't understand a single word in the notes, recognizing the simple handwriting of Lance and thinking this is some kind of weird joke he isn't aware of.

He's curious about the meaning anyway. Though Lance never talked in Spanish, the notes were in the same language, and that's weird. What do they even say? Something good? Something bad? Is he supposed to translate them somehow?

But they're in war, and there's been a LOT going on. Shiro forgets the notes, hidden in the Black Lion storage, and tries to keep his focus on the situation ahead. The notes that were every morning at his door also stopped appearing. Maybe it was a good thing. This little mystery game they had was a distraction from more important things.

Then they get home.

Sure, they had to fight to push off the Galra from Earth, but they made it. This is it, finally at home. In the beginning of the execution of the big comeback, Lance is having some trouble with the Galra ships, not being able to even reach his Lion. Shiro has the biggest heart attack even when Lance stops responding, and his mind can't help but think about all the times Lance looked at him with shining eyes and a sweet smile. How he laughed, joked and was the light of the room with his bright smile. And then he remembered the notes and noticed how little attention he payed to Lance. He unfair to him, a young boy who did nothing wrong and always tried his best to just be there for them.

And he was so scared of losing him. Of not being able of hearing his sweet voice. Or seeing those deep blue eyes.

Then Lance started talking again and his soul was back in his body. Lance was fine, alive, breathing. But he couldn't focus, one single though invading his mind:

He had to fix this somehow.

They won. Sendak is finally dead.

It was like a dream come true.

A month later, the team was fully recovered and enjoying their home planet again. Shiro finally could feel that it was the moment to relax a little more, he had a lot of tirenedess accumulated. So he went to the Black Lion, even if he was no longer his pilot, the connection was still there, as strong as ever. The Lion, feeling the determination of his ex paladin, allowed him to enter. Shiro could practically feel the hype building up when he found the notes still in the same spot, mentally thanking Keith for being so uninsterested in exploring the Lion.

In less than 15 minutes, he got a small translator device from a young Garrison engineer (now that is full of alien species, translators are a must have for everyone) and was back in his room. Slowly, one by one he translated the words from the notes.

At first, the older ones were very short and simple.

'You're great'

'You can make it'

'Take a break'

'You're the best'

He laughed, the image of a very embarrassed Lance writing these very awkward words appeared in his mind.

The next ones were more strong and sweet.

'You're amazing! Never forget that!'

'The universe is lucky to have you!'

And, of course, some of them had a couple of puns, because we're talking about Lance and he just can't help it. Even small drawings of him or stars and planets. The older ones were next, and they took his breath away.

'You make me wanna be a better person everyday.'

'You are my hero, and the best leader I could have.'

'I hope you think I am importan, because you're the universe to me.'

'You're so great and talented, I'm lucky I get to be in the same team as you.'

Shiro was very confused, he didn't understand why there was such a mood change. He could practically feel how big Lance's appreciation and respect for him were in these notes. Damn, he was such an idiot for not noticing before. So focused in a cruel thing like war made him forget these kind of sweet things in his life.

There was still a letter left. But hee could read it later, he needed to see Lance. Now.

In a blink he was in front of Lance's dorm, though it wasn't very far from his. Feeling strangely nervous, he knocked the door. The door opened and Lance was there, in full glory. The marks of the battle were gone, and his (probably smooth) skin was shiny and healthy. The smaller boy smiled, curious, and before he could greet him, Shiro raised his hand with the notes.

Lance mount stayed open, recognizing them.

Was that a good or bad signal?

He saw how the other boy blushed, getting nervous immediately and avoiding his gaze.

'S-so you read them, right?'

'Yeah, I used a translator I got around here.'

'Oh...um...do you like them? I know they're a little weird'

Shiro smiled. This was the first time he saw how cute Lance was when embarrassed. Wait, he shouldn't think that of his teammate, not now, scratch that.

'I do, you're a great person, Lance. I'm very thankful for these notes.'

Lance watched him surprised, like he didn't expect him to say that, but then he avoided his gaze again.

'Cool. Um, about the last one, I have the missing note that continues the message.'

'Actually, I didn't read the last one, would you mind if I you read it for me? It's kind of a bummer to use this boring translator' he joked

Lance seemed like he was having an internal crisis of some kind, because he bited his lip and frowned. But then he smiled again casually, and nodded.

'Sure thing, come in, make yourself comfortable in uh, my room?'

Shiro chuckled a little and decided to sit at the bed. Lance was still up, holding the notes Shiro handled him, opening them slowly. With his voice slightly trembling, he started to read.

'I think It's about time I tell you something important. We have been in space a long time, and I don't wanna regret not telling you the truth. When the time is right, I'll give you the next note.'

Oh... That sounded... Very serious. Now Shiro didn't know what to think. Maybe Lance hated him because he never acknowledged his efforts, or because he kind of ignored his notes. The idea of Lance hating him made his heart ache with pain. He was getting so anxious he didn't even hear the sound of Lance opening the next note.

The voice of the smaller boy interrupted his thoughts.

'Alright... I'm going to read the next one. Shiro?'

'Yes?'

Lance blushed even more , those stunning blue eyes staring at him.

'Please don't freak out.'

... What? Why would he freak out to Lance? This was getting more and more strange.

'For the last few notes I've been trying to encourage you. I don't know what drive me to do it, I saw you one night looking at the stars and you seemed 10 years older and so tired. I had to do something. And even If it was a bit weird, and I knew you couldn't understand them because my dumbass brain decided to write them in Spanish, the warm feeling in my chest wouldn't go away. So I thought about it, a lot. About how much I worry about you, how much I want to show you how good I am, how much I want to spend time with you. Then I realized that you're not jusy my leader... '

Shiro's eyes widened.

'You're not just my hero either...'

Then Lance smiled, embarrassed.

'You're my everything. I like you, Takashi.'

'You... You what?!?'

Shiro couldn't believe this. He was so happy. But he shouldn't. This was Lance, his teammate, his companion. And he was just Shiro, broken after all what happened. Old and broken.

'I know it's... Disgusting that I like you... But say something, please, I'm like having a breakdown here.' Lance tried to joke, though he was crying and his voice sounded weird.

Then Shiro snapped out of his dark thoughts and really, REALLY looked at him. Lance, looking at the ground, the blue eyes full of tears. The face red, the lip bleeding a little, the hands holding his jacket with force. Then Lance looked at him too. And in their eyes the connection felt strong. So damn strong. And the warm in his heart burned. He just could feel the need. The ache of looking and Lance like this and doing nthing.

'But need of what? ' his mind asked.

'Need of Lance.' his heart supplied.

And after all what happened. The Kerberos mission. The kidnap. The arena. The lions. The war against the Galra. Zarkon. Sendak. Lotor. Haggar.

He deserves this. And Lance deserved it too.

So in half a second he's hugging Lance. It just takes another second before he can feel the warm arm returning the hug. He started petting his brown hair slowly, feeling the smooth hair. And Lance was sobbing, and laughing, and making some weird noise in between . Shiro laughed loudly, still petting his hair. And enjoying every little thing about him. His soft hair with a vanilla scent was like heaven to Shiro's hands, and he buried his head in the younger boy's neck.

The notes lied on the floor forgotten while the two of them just enjoyed the other one with small and sweet touches of affection. When Lance moved a little and kissed him in the forehead, he couldn't stop the tears, feeling the love of the other one in that small gesture, it was almost intoxicating. He didn't know how much he needed this, he needed him, his warmth, his freshness. These small things that made Lance so perfect.

For the first time in a long time, Shiro was feeling so fresh and alive. Like every piece was finally at the right place. It's okay now. Everything will be alright. Because he had the universe in his arms.

[a-lil-bitch-named-breakfast]

Izuku midoriya headcanons

[Midorya in an Aladdin AU as requested by @princeasimdiya12 ]

•please send this boy help....

•he grew up on the streets, stealing to help feed himself and his sweet mother. He’s wholesome please don’t chase him or arrest him.

•He does what he has to do to survive... it’s not like he wants to.

•Met princess Ochako on accident, bumping into her as he was running away from palace guards.

•”excuse me!”

•it was too late, he’d knocked her over. Not knowing what else to do he merely grabbed her wrist and pulled her around a corner. At this point he hadn’t even gotten a look at her yet.

•ochako was not pleased to say the least.

•”HEY!! DON’T TOUCH ME!!!”

•once they were safely out of the sight of the guards he apologized profusely, practically begging for her forgiveness because one, he didn’t mean to scare her. Two, he knocked her over. Three, he’d literally dragged her away from where she was standing.

•it was in that brief moment that his Emerald eyes shifted up that he saw her face. He went stiff. She was lovely... quite possibly the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He found himself unable to speak

•li- i.... oh- you... i...”

•Ochako raised a brow.

•”Just... Just forget it... it’s fine. I never got your name...?”

•Izuku blushed and looked away “no one important really....”

•”surely i should know the name of the man who kidnapped me?” She laughed softly, her happy giggly bounding off the walls of the empty alley. However she frowned when she noticed that the statement seemed to make him look more guilty.

•”oh gosh please don’t look so sad- i didn’t mean it like that... it’s okay really! You didn’t hurt me and you didn’t mean any harm!” She squealed quickly, waving her hands out in distress

•Izuku looked up and drew his lips into a thin line, finally having found the courage to answer her question. The beauty of her heart far bounded beyond the perfection of her physical features, and Izuku had never believed in love at first sight until now.

•”my name is... Izuku.” He murmured, holding out his hand.

•”nice to meet you...?”

•of course... this wouldn’t be the last time they’d ever meet.

•Ochako knew she wasn’t supposed to be outside the palace. But she couldn’t resist seeing him again... he was such fun. Such good company. Nothing like the boring, stiff guards within the palace walls. She had to see him again. And so she did

•they met up multiple times, sitting and talking in a dusty abandoned attic as they talked about their lives.

•Ochako always lies about who she really was. She didn’t want him to know... after all it was her family that was the cause of his poverty. He’d never want to be with her if he knew she was the daughter of the king. He’d hate her. And she was sure of it. So when he asked her about her life, her family, her friends. She lied. She tried to make her stories sound somewhat similar to his. Sure she felt guilty but.... he couldn’t know. He was the first friend she’d ever had.

•Izuku on the other hand, at this point couldn’t care what her status was. Boy was WHIPPED.But he was sure she had no romantic interests in him. How could she? She was so beautiful... especially for a street merchant, as so she claimed to be. Izuku did have a few questions as to how every time he saw her she looked freshly washed, not an ounce of dirt on her face. It was strange... but he never questioned it to much, figuring it wasn’t his business. But after a little while things began to raise small questions in his mind.

•“hey.... that bracelet.” He’d gently grasped her wrist one day as they spoke in their usual place, causing her to tense as he studied the freshly polished metal. Ochako thought for sure this was it. She’d be caught.

“It’s beautiful...” he murmured.

“Where did you... where did you get it?” He looked up, eyes softening. Ochako thought for a second.

“Oh it’s... it’s nothing special.” She laughed softly.

“My father gave it to me...” she thought quickly for an excuse.

“In... in a.. Trade! Someone traded it for some... some apples! So he gave it to me!!” He cheeks flared bright red in embarrassment at her own floundering and stuttering. However, our poor oblivious Izuku didn’t seem to catch on once again.

“Wow.... it’s beautiful.”

Ochako smiled and pulled it off her wrist.

“I don’t need it.” She murmured, and it was true, she had thousands more at home. However, she wouldn’t tell him that.

“Give it to your mother.” She laughed softly, a faint blush on her cheeks.

“You’ve told me so much about her! She seems like a lovely woman... she deserves this more than me.”

At first Izuku refused.

“Ochako no!!” He waved his hands blushing.

“That’s such a nice thing for you to

Offer but... i couldn’t take something like that from you...!”

“Izuku please.” She laughed softly, eyes glittering in the moonlight coming through the open window as she placed it in his hands, closing it in his palm.

“Take it...” She breathed softly. Izuku sat there in shock for a moment. Then his eyes began to water. Our stereotypical Izuku tears exist in every AU my darlings.

•then he said it...

“OCHAKO!I- I- I LOVE YOU!”

• she went stiff. He what? He loved her??? No no. That couldn’t be right. Ochako wasn’t exactly happy.... not because of his confession but because... she was beginning to realize she loved him too. Was that what that tingly feeling was in her chest when she saw him waiting for her in their usual spot. The reason she worried about him when she wasn’t around. The reason she...oh no. She did. She loved him. She couldn’t! It would only cause them both pain. Her father would never approve of this.

•she looked away.

“Izuku we...” her eyes began to water.

“We can’t be together.” She looked away. Izuku’s face dropped. He should have expected rejection... but it still hurt. He couldn’t help but ask...

“Why...?” And He looked so

Miserable and helpless.she had to tell him the truth.

•pursing her lips she pulled the hood off her head to reveal the crown upon her head. She didn’t need to say anything else. He already knew...

•how could he have been so stupid! Ochako! How did he not pair the name to the face. Princess Ochako Uraraka! God he was such an idiot. He literally face palmed.

“I should have known.” He hissed softly.

“you hate me now... don’t you?” She whispered. Izuku shook his head, standing up and tossing her back her bracelet as he stepped towards the exit of the attic and disappointedly murmured.

“No ochako... no i don’t.” Then dissapeared into the night.

•ochako’s father grew concerned the next morning when he came to her room to find her bundled in a heap of blankets in the floor, tear stains coating her cheeks.

•and when the usually giddy girl didn’t seem happy at breakfast.

•or when helping him with royal duties.

•or when visiting her horse.

•but she wouldn’t tell him what was wrong

•Izuku wasn’t much better, and his poor mother didn’t know what to do to help her heart broken boy.

•still, despite his sadness he still couldn’t just lay around like he wanted too. He needed to feed his mother.

•it was one day while walking down the crowded streets, full of shopping tents and people screaming about bargains, that he heard about the lamp.

•okay not necessarily the lamp. Izuku didn’t really believe in magic so he glossed over that part. But a temple filled to the brim with gold? That could save his mother? Who was beginning to grow ill. Yes! This was it! This was what he had to do!

•he left late one evening for the temple, and had no luck finding it.

•it was like this for months. He was beginning to think he never would.

•then late one evening after walking for most of the night he saw a light over the rolling sand of the dessert hills.

•a light out this far? Seemed a little odd... maybe a traveler with a lamp.

•he climbed to the top of the dune to look over the edge in curiosity, and what he saw made his heart leap.

•the head of the lion, open mouthed, carved from stone. A bright light illuminated from its open jaws. This was it!

•he’d been well warned of the dangers. But this had to be done, for his

Mother.

•he made it in to say the least, and began to stuff his bag with coins. He wasn’t being sparse. He couldn’t waist a single ounce of space in this bag. It began to grow heavy with the metal, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about having to carry it all back. His mother needed this.

•He spotted the golden lamp out of the corner of his eye, raising a brow. It certainly looked shiney.... he didn’t wanna... well maybe.

•so yeah he grabbed it. Suddenly the ground began to shake. He gasped.

•great job Izuku, you triggered the boobey traps

•lol boobey.

•barely made it out alive, thanks to the help of a strange floating carpet.

•please help Izuku he’s terrified.

•decided after the strange, horrifying evening that he’d take a reign check and stop by an oasis near by to spend the night.

•however things get boring when you’re sitting alone in the middle of an empty dessert, and suddenly you’re willing to do things you hadn’t been willing to do before.

•he’d been told if he rubbed the magic lamp it would do something magical. He said he wouldn’t do it though.

•yet here he was, holding the lamp.

•”magic” he scoffed.

“Yeah sure-“ So he rubbed it... jusy to prove a point... and

•POOF

(There’s gonna be a part two.)

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 30... Continued

Silently, we continued our journey into the club. I gripped onto Chris’s hand as he led us along the perimeter of the dance floor to a set of stairs tucked away in a far corner. Once again, a burly security guard stood like the hulk at the front of the stairs, but swiftly slid aside after greeting Chris with a hand shake. I followed him up the steps and once we hit the landing, trailed along behind him down a walkway lined with posh VIP sections on the left. There was an open railing along the right side of the walkway and I peered over the side of it, grimacing at the sweltering body’s that swayed to the music below us. I turned my attention back to the VIP sections and noted that there had to be at least ten sections along the walkway, each separated by sheer curtains.

We walked down to about the fifth table where Chris stopped and stepped aside, giving me full access to the rest of our group at one of the largest tables in the VIP area. “Hey girl, where ya’ll been?” Destani asked as I slipped into the booth next to her. “We stopped at a little corner store a block from here and bought some of these.” I said, pulling out the New Year’s accessories that Chris and I had managed to purchase for everyone. “Aw shit… I can see it now…” Dontay started as he swiped his glasses from me and leaned back in his seat, “So check this… I’m gonna get real fucked up tonight, right. Then I’m gonna take Meka here back to my place and we gone…”

“We not gone do shit!” Tameka screeched, abruptly cut him off, “Unless you talking about some other bitch you know in this establishment named Meka… ain’t nobody going no damn where to do nothing with you boy!” She exclaimed. “Awww, you don’t wanna spend the first night of the New Year with me girl? I think you just broke my heart.” “And I’m gone break something else if you don’t get your yellow ass off me!” She said, reaching back to move the arm that he’d eased behind her head.

Everyone in the section cracked up at their antics and through my peripheral, I could see a scantily clad girl approaching our table. My laughter quickly subsided the moment I noticed that Chris had also spotted the female and he’d turned to give her his full attention. “How ya’ll doing?” She asked as she bobbed in place to the music in her stripper heels, staring with no shame right at Chris, “What can I get ya’ll to drink?” Blinking rapidly in shock, I stared blankly at the girl and wondered if she would ask about the age of each of the underage people in our section. “Chris you’re gonna get us sent to jail.” I whispered, tugging lightly at his sleeve. “Chill babe. Nobody's going to jail.” He chuckled.

--

Charlay, as she’d formally introduced herself, returned a short while later with two Ciroc bottles with attached sparklers along with a bucket of ice and a tray of mixers, cups, napkins, and straws. “By the way, Eze would like to see you, Kin.” Charlay informed Chris before turning and sashaying away. I could only watch as he rose from his seat and quietly made his way out into the walkway to follow her away. “What was that about?” Destani asked, leaning in close to me. “I don’t know.” I replied, no longer hesitating to reach over and prepare myself a concoction with the bottles situated on our table.

Eventually, Tameka suggested that we all migrate down to the dance floor to begin our New Year celebration. Leaving our belongings behind in the secured section, we took heed to her suggestion and soon we were well on our way downstairs. Destani walked ahead of me with my hand in her grasp. I’d already begun to sway my body to the beat of Kranium’s Nobody Has to Know and with two full cups of alcohol surging through my system, I felt no shame as the Caribbean rhythm filled me up. The moment we found the perfect clearing on the dance floor, I shut my eyes and tossed my hands up as I continued to sway to the song. I could feel a pair of masculine hands latching onto my hips, pulling me back as I danced, but I didn’t even care to turn around to find out what stranger had invaded my space.

With a seductive smirk, I bit into my lip and smoothly adjusted my rhythm as T-Pain's Drankin Patna blared through the club’s sound system. The guy attached to my backside didn’t move much, he jusy shamelessly pressed his crotch against my butt and barely caught every dip and dive as I hit every beat to the song. “Damn ma.” He muttered with lips lingering dangerously close to my ear. I grinned with confidence and leaned forward, rolling my hips back and forth as hard as I could against him. The lackluster motions of my mystery dancing partner suddenly came to an abrupt stop and within seconds I felt nothing but emptiness behind me. I leaned back up and attempted to turn to see where he’d gone, but before I could fully swing my head around I gasped at the sudden pressure of my ponytail being yanked back.

“Why you shakin your shit on that nigga like that?” I could tell that deep and raspy voice form anywhere and I shivered at the feeling of his lips pressed against the edge of my ear. “Wait Chris, I wasn’t…” I tried to lean forward away from him so I could turn to face him, but he refused to let up on his hold. “This ain’t even his shit though... it’s mine. You know that.” The heat in the club did absolutely nothing to settle the chills that ran through my entire frame. His breath was sweet and warm against my ear. It carried the potent scent of whatever he’d drank before he came to find me along with whatever he’d smoked. It was the most intoxicating aroma I’d ever smelled and as I trembled against him, I swore I was simply melting simultaneously.

I didn’t know where he was guiding me, but he led me effortlessly through the crowd with my head still tilted firmly back against his shoulder. He didn’t seem to care about a single person in our near vicinity or in the entire building for that matter and I couldn’t help but feel a pang of fear for exactly what he had up his sleeve. Seconds later, my chest collided with the cool surface of a wall somewhere off in a corner of the club and though there weren’t as many spectators where we now stood, that didn’t do much to ease my concerns. He finally released my hair and just when I thought I’d have an opportunity to turn and scold him, the beat for Natasha Mosley’s Anything dropped and he swiftly wedged my body between his own and the wall in front of me.

The alcohol had since settled well within my system and as I absorbed the addictive beat of the song, I couldn’t contain the urge to swivel my hips. Quickly raising my gaze, I could see that he’d secured his hands on the wall on either side of my head. He gave me confidence like I’d never known and before I knew it, I threw my bottom back against him and rotated it slowly in sync with the song. Wherever I went, he went right there with me. He matched my slow twerk like a pro and it didn’t take long for me to forget that we were packed in a building full of other hot dancing bodies.

Unpredictably, he planted his hands at my hips and twirled me around to face him and reached for my right leg, raising it up against his left side. His stare never wavered… the lust in his eyes was enough to make me want to flip him around and pin him up against the wall. With the moment increasingly intensifying, I could feel my body rising completely from the floor and I didn’t even bother to look down… I knew he’d gotten so caught up in the heat of the moment that he completely forgot where we were and lifted me off the ground. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I simply held on and grinded against him as he held me in place and grinded right back as if he had ulterior intentions.

Resting one hand against the wall behind me, he leaned forward allowing his lips to hover only centimeters away from my ear. “Can you feel that shit?” He murmured, “Look what you did.” His wish was my command and I rolled my neck around to drop my gaze down to our intertwined bodies. Through the dim lighting of the club, I could see it. I could feel it. There, without mistake, his excitement was pressed against me with no shame. I snapped my eyes up to face him and wasn’t surprised to find him with his eyes already set on mine and a crooked smirk tugging at his lips.

The song finally drifted off to something more upbeat and, hesitantly, Chris lowered me from his waist and eyed me closely as I adjusted my outfit. He parted his smirking lips to speak, but before a word could leave his mouth Destani had already swooped in like a Super Hero to save the day and took a firm hold on my arm. “Chris, boo… let me borrow her for a minute.” She blurted before dashing off toward the nearest bathroom with me in tow.

Once we were tucked safely within the confines of the nearly empty restroom, Destani backed me into the nearest wall and threw her arms in the air “What the fuck was that!” “What?” I exclaimed. “That… all that,” She slapped her hands down on the wall behind my head and rolled her hips mockingly against me, “What was that?” Though I tried to remain serious through her obvious imitation of Chris, I couldn’t maintain a straight face for longer than a few seconds and moments later we both broke into a fit of laughter “I don’t know what that was, but excuse me… I do actually have to pee.”

“Oh really, just ignore my damn question and go take your piss then… I’ll just wait right here, because you gone answer me dammit.” She fussed. Doing just as she’d said, I marched past her to one of the stalls and handled my business. Once I was done, I walked out to the sinks to clean my hands and glanced up to find her situated in the exact same spot with her arms crossed. “What Dez?” I laughed. “Seriously Sy? Ugh,” She rolled her eyes up toward the ceiling and sighed exasperatedly, “Did you or did you not just practically fuck Christopher on that dance floor?” Swinging around to face her, I stared at her as though she were a mutant with three heads “What are you talking about Destani?”

“I saw you hoe, I saw you! Somehow after we walked out on that dance floor, you ended up in that damn corner with him and ya’ll nasty niggas danced like you wanted to make fucking babies right there on the floor!” Smiling at her dramatics, I shook my head and sighed “We weren’t dancing any different than the other people in this club, so again… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” “Whatever nigga. Just know that I saw you two heathens. Bumping and humping in the middle of the club, yet you claim ya’ll ain’t feeling each other. Hmph!” She mumbled. I could only laugh at her as I exited the bathroom with her hot on my heels and she trailed along behind me with her hand in mine as I maneuvered us back up to our section upstairs.

--

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” The ball dropped at Brown’s Island and confetti and streamers filled the air. People cheered and couples brought in the New Year together with sweet kisses. I stood off to the side of the group beaming brightly at the joyous sight with my arms wrapped tightly around myself to shield off the cold. “So you just weren’t tryna ring in the New Year with a kiss?” The voice that I’d grown to adore so much spoke directly into my ear over the commotion of the crowd around us. Turning to face him, I was nearly thrown into a trance by the sight of the golden eyes I could never grow tired of staring into. Within seconds he meshed his lips against my own and catapulted me into my very own sweet New Year. I edged onto the tips of my toes to accommodate his height as he deepened the kiss by tilting his head to one side. Tossing my arms around the back of his neck, I pulled him as close to me as our bodies would allow and followed his lead into euphoria.

He’d parted his lips, requesting entry from my awaiting appendage and I immediately sent my tongue in to tussle with his strawberry flavored one. Sweeping his tongue one final time along the side of mine, he pulled back away from me and nibbled onto my bottom lip before releasing it completely and pressing his forehead against mine. “Happy New Year Hope.” He whispered. I giggled and licked my lips, staring right back at him with the same heavy eyes “Happy New Year to you Charlie.” I muttered as I stared into those smoldering eyes. He slipped his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down for only a moment before leaning in once more for an onslaught of sweet kisses. I smirked through his welcome attack on my lips and slipped my hands down from around his neck, resting them loosely at his waist.

In the distance I could hear a loud popping noise, but I figured people in the crowd were setting off poppers and sparklers. Breaking the kiss, I swung my head around to see if I could spot any in the air, but what I saw instead had me clutching onto Chris... in complete and utter fear. The throng of people surrounding us began to move frantically in one direction and the deafening sound of cries and screams could be heard in the air around us. It didn’t take me long to figure out that it wasn’t fireworks popping, but instead gunshots… and they weren’t very far away.

“Shit.” Chris mumbled from his towering height and I looked up at him to see him staring fixedly past me as if searching for someone. Fear and panic began to set in and just as I moved to drop down to the ground, Chris yanked me from my spot and dragged me off in the opposite direction of the club we stood outside of to watch the ball drop. I wanted to ask him what was going on and find out where he was taking us, but I didn’t have even a second to do so as he continued to pull me along with every wide step he took. I ran along behind him as he walked briskly until we’d made it back to the store we stopped at earlier for our New Year’s accessories.

“Stay here alright,” Though he was clearly winded, he maintained his composure and stared out into the crowd as he spoke, “Just stay right here and I’ll be right back.” I nodded in understanding, even as my lips parted to question him “Where are you going?” He failed to respond. He instead lowered his gaze to me with furrowed brows before swiping his tongue out over his lips and leaning forward for a quick kiss “Just stay here and don’t move.” With that, he turned and rushed out into the crowd before I could stop him.

--

My nerves were rattled and I was on the verge of a breakdown as I sat with my back against one of the shelves in the furthest corner of the small store. It felt like it’d been hours since Chris had left me alone, when in reality it had only been about fifteen minutes. I teetered back and forth nervously in an attempt to comfort myself, but to no avail. The sudden vibration of my phone against my thigh startled me and I flinched from the sensation. I slipped the phone from my front pocket and immediately answered without checking the caller I.D.

“Sy, where you at?” I could barely make out anything Destani said, because the commotion around her was just that loud. “Dez, I’m in the corner store close to where Chris parked… where are you?” I asked, pressing my index finger into my ear. “I don’t even know… ow, shit!” She cursed and within seconds I was met with the dial tone. Snatching the phone away from my ear, I stared at it in complete horror as my mind raced with the possibilities of where she was and what’d just happened. The urge to vomit hit me like a sack of potatoes… I was stranded in the middle of complete chaos and I had not a clue where any of my friends were.

I nearly screamed with joy at the sudden appearance of the top of a familiar head of curls. Destani rounded the corner, stumbling into the isle I sat in as Chris shoved her toward me. “Damnit nigga, chill… I’m going!” She fussed with a scowl. Her curls had fallen from the neat bun she’d placed them in atop her head and bounced wildly as she made her way to me. “You better check your nigga Sy, pushing on some got damn body like that.” She continued to fuss with a roll of her eyes. I glanced up behind her and spotted Chris rushing around the corner right behind her.

“Alright ya’ll, we need to go.” He didn’t have to tell me twice… I hopped up from my safe spot and lined myself up next to him. “Where is everyone else?” I asked, following him to the front entrance of the store. “We’ll meet them in the parking lot,” He replied, not once looking back as he pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head until it nearly covered his entire face, “Sy, can you pull your hair down for me?” I quickly glanced at him, wondering if he’d lost his mind in the midst of the chaos, but the moment I took note of the stern expression on his face, I knew not to question him. I quickly snatched the holder from my ponytail, releasing a golden mass of curls that fell into place over my eyes and framed my face. He took a second to look back at me for the first time since he’d come back to the store and he reached back to pull the hood up from my jacket and placed it strategically over my head. “Alright,” He moistened his lips with a stone expression and refocused his attention straight ahead, “Let’s go.”

We maneuvered quickly and swiftly through the remainder of the crowd to Chris’s truck. Though Chris maintained his brisk and wide strides, Destani and I nearly jogged to keep up with him. “Your hair.” He mumbled, glancing back at me as he glided along. My hair blew back as I rushed along behind him, but I followed his instructions and quickly smoothed it back down into place. We finally reached his truck and barely had time to climb in before Chris cranked it and threw the large vehicle into reverse. He whipped it out of his space and I watched as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“I thought you said we were meeting everybody else in the parking lot Chris. Where are you going?” Destani blurted out my exact thoughts. Pulling his hoodie back from his face, he cut his eyes at her through the rear-view mirror “Destani, would you like to stay out here and get shot or would you like me to get you to safety?” Blinking rapidly in shock, she snapped her lips shut and slumped back against her seat without uttering another word. Chris sped through the street outside the lot, just before pulling up along a curb a few blocks away. Within minutes I could hear rapid footsteps approaching from outside the truck and I looked out of my window just as one of the back doors flew open. “Shit man!” Tameka exclaimed, holding up one of her shoes after she threw herself in the truck, “I broke my shit out there in this mess.”

“Nobody told your tomboy ass to wear heels tonight.” Nalay fussed. “The boys went to get your car right Nay?” Chris interjected, glancing back at Nalay through the rearview mirror. “Yeah, they did.” She replied. He nodded and stared out of the windshield intently as he threw the truck in drive and accelerated off down the street “Are ya’ll alright?” After responding that they were all okay, the girls drifted off into their own conversation in the backseat, leaving Chris and I in an awkward silence in the front.

“You alright babe?” He muttered, reaching out to tap my hand. Keeping my eyes focused on the road ahead, I nodded and finally swept my hair back out of my face. The two of us remained silent and soon I could feel the warmth of his hand covering mine. I held onto his hand, squeezing it tightly as he continued to drive us away from what had quickly become the worst night of the New Year.