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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 9 months ago

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I Don’t Get It

Bam gets a proposal to do a photoshoot for a certain magazine with his girlfriend, Y/N, and she couldn’t be happier!

Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

2.2k Words

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, injuries, nudity, bimbo Y/N, crude language, kissing, lingerie, jealousy

An: Happy Valentine’s Day! This is the first non request fic from me in a while! XD While doing research for the Bam wedding fic, I got to rewatching Unholy Union, so this fic was inspired by the Playboy photoshoot Missy was in in episode 4! This moodboard by @princessthatcantfuckingsleep also reminds me a lot of Y/N in this one lol XD If you want an idea of how far ahead I write these fics, this was also inspired by the fact that I got an official Bam skate deck for Christmas!! So cool! Anyways, thank you for all of the requests and please keep sending them in!!

Getting calls from the hospital at midnight about Bam was a part of your routine but that didn’t stop you from rushing over every time to make sure your boyfriend was okay. You’d sit in the waiting room, anxiously filing your nails or fixing your lipstick in the mirror of your blush compact before a nurse called you up- you were in there so frequently for him that they knew you by name. A couple night shift nurses in their blue scrubs and ugly rubber hose-off clogs would shoot you dirty looks, but the notion that it was inappropriate to have your tits out in a hospital never really seemed to bother you.

She showed you to a room and you tottered in on your stilettos, your eyes going wide as you flicked the light on, “Oh my god- Bam!” There was your boyfriend, laying back on a gurney in a paper gown with his arm in a sling, a sight you had seen many times before. Hurrying over to his side, you sat on top of the sheets and threw your legs across his thighs. The pained grimace that Bam was wearing from his broken elbow was replaced with a grin as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him to your chest, “I was so worried about you! What happened?”

“Mmm…m’feel like shit, babe.” Bam murmured from your cleavage, his voice hoarse as he looked up at you with bags under his eyes, “Fell off the skate ramp’n busted my ass. ” You reached up, cupping his face in your palm and smoothing a shiny, bubble gum pink polished thumb over his cheek as machines in adjacent room beeped softly. At least he didn’t hurt that cute little face of his, you thought, but your heart still ached. Pouting, you cooed, “You have got to be more careful! I swear, next time you break that elbow, it’s gonna turn to dust!” Bam snaked a free arm around your waist, pulling you closer as he shot a glance back at the judgy nurses and mouthing something to them about taking a picture because it would last longer.

“You should really be more careful on your roller skates if you keep getting hurt like this!” Turning back to you at the sound of your voice, Bam paused for a second and blinked in disbelief, “I don’t roller skate, Y/N. I’m a pro skater.” You nodded, smiling as you gave him a peck on the cheek, “Yeah, that’s what I said!” You had been dating for well over a year and you still hadn’t gotten that down. Still, Bam couldn’t be mad at you- you were just too cute to annoy him.

Reaching up to run a hand through his black curls, you sighed “Anyways, is there anything I can do to help you feel better?” Bam thought for a second but dismissed the first idea he had though he knew you’d be more than eager for it. He groaned dramatically, wincing, “You know, I’d kill a man for some McDonald’s right now.” Nodding over to the untouched tray of hospital food on the bedside table, he chuckled a bit at your look of shock, “Are they really feeding you that?” You gawked at the gray, unseasoned slop on the tray in horror. If you didn’t know any better, you would swear those doctors were trying to poison him! Pulling him close again, you sighed, “Oh, you poor thing…” Bam knew that he, a grown man, would be perfectly fine without you treating him like a baby bird with a broken wing, but he couldn’t deny that it felt pretty damn good. Sitting up, his lips met yours in a sloppy and gross PDA kiss. This was how you showed your love to each other, much to the annoyance of everyone around you. Some couples go to art museums together or see plays- you and Bam just ate each other's faces.

If there was one thing that could make Bam feel better, it was his girl, so he decided that as soon as he got out of the hospital, he would take you to the mall as payback for your hard work at getting him back to health. The whole time you were right by his side, compassionately listening to him whine about how he wouldn’t be able to skate for at least a month and bringing him your “homemade” baked goods to lift his spirits. Bam couldn’t ask for a better girl, even if you did forget to take the chocolate chip muffins you “baked” for him out of the plastic package you bought them in before you visited him.

☆彡

The two of you were quite the odd couple- here you have this cool rockstar bad boy with this bubbly little thing hanging on his arm. It could have been the navy blue sling around Bam’s arm (the one that wasn’t glued to your lower back, handy for when guys would ogle you) or how your skirt barely covered up the last inch of your ass, but it was most likely the smattering of blotchy, wine colored hickeys on your neck and chest that caused people to stare at you. Your boyfriend was a jealous man, and even though he thought guys who got all pissy when their girlfriends showed a little skin were idiots, he still liked to show people who you belonged to. Plus, you didn’t care that you rarely left the house without them because you didn’t mind getting them.

Sitting on the shiny metal bench at some shoe store with tissue filled boxes crowded around you, you examined one of the many pairs of heels Bam picked out for you. You originally had your eye on a pair of bright blue see-through kitten heels you saw in the window, but as things tend to go, you got a bit carried away. The pair you held, feeling the sticky black patent leather of the seven inch heel, came out of a box with the word ‘Pleaser’ written on the side in curly cursive. They were stunning, but you had some concerns, even while you stared at them with stars in your eyes, “Oh, Bam, I'm not sure if I’d be able to walk in these…” He shook his head at your hesitancy, grinning, “Don’t worry about it. You like ‘em?” With a bit of hesitancy, you nodded, and he wordlessly took them from you, putting them back in the box, “Then we’re getting them.” You giggled, leaning forward to kiss him on the cheek.

Usually Bam was pretty sensible with the stuff he picked out for you, but there was something odd about him today. Normally, your wardrobe was all pink pink pink, but the low rise leather mini skirts and vampy purple lingerie sets from Spencer’s (among other things) that your boyfriend paid for struck you as strange. As you sat down at one of those mall coffee shops together, you decided to finally ask the question, holding back giggles, “So, what’s all this for?” Bam looked down at the mountain of bags piled at your feet nonchalantly, then shrugged at you with a grin, “What? I’m not allowed to splurge on m’girl once in a while?” This was really exceeding good boyfriend behavior. You took a sip of your white mocha blendy coffee drink, “I mean, like- yeah, but this is just so much! There’s gotta be some reason you’re doing all this.”

He leaned back in his seat, looking left, then right, before leaning in and dropping his voice like he was about to tell you a secret, “Well, I got contacted by this magazine to be a guest photographer for a photoshoot, and they want you t’be in it.” God, your face just lit up. You were going to be in a magazine- an actual, real life magazine! You couldn’t believe it! Your eyes widened as you splayed your shiny acrylics on the table in disbelief, “Wait, really? Like, really really?” He nodded, smirking all cool at how giddy you got. In your excitement, you leaned across the table and accidentally grabbed his sling arm. Bam gasped in pain and you jumped back, clutching your hands over your mouth, your eyes going wide as some people turned to look at the spectacle you were putting on, “Oh my god- I’m so sorry!” But you quickly forgot about it and went back to your previous excitement while he was still recovering, “But what is it? What magazine? Vogue? Cosmo?” Your boyfriend chuckled at your eagerness, still clutching his arm as you looked up at him with those big ole eyes before clearing his throat and speaking low, “Well, it’s Playboy.”

☆彡

Ecstatic didn’t even begin to describe how excited you were. All morning before the people from Playboy showed up, you were gushing to Bam about it, following him on his heels like a puppy and prattling on about how excited you were, “I’m gonna be just like those cute girls in the bunny outfits! This is gonna be so much fun- Oh! We could even use some of the lingerie I already have! Wouldn’t that be cute?” Your boyfriend thought back to the frills, hot pink, and cheetah print that filled your underwear drawer- a far cry from the gothic-medieval idea they pitched to him. He smiled, shaking his head, “I had no idea you’d be so down for this…” Most girls generally wouldn’t be, but of course you were- this was the opportunity of a lifetime!

An hour later, the crew was there and you were all done up and dressed, complete with these black leather thigh high boots that took twenty minutes to lace up. Different from how you normally dressed, but definitely not bad. When you were ready, you went outside in one of those fuzzy robes to the set Bam rigged up- this big thing with a fire and knights with swords, very Medieval times. He was fiddling with the camera lense when you came giddily prancing over to him, “Hi, Bam!” Your boyfriend glanced up at you, looking you up and down, “Can I see what’s under that?” Nodding, you slinked the robe off your shoulders. He blinked a few times as he stared at you, shamelessly eyeing you with his jaw nearly in the ground. That tiny corset top did wonders for your boobs, and the rest of the outfit didn’t leave much to the imagination either. After a moment he shook himself out of his trance, looking back up to you, “Alright, let’s get shooting!”

You took photos outside until it got too cold, which frankly wasn't that long considering whoever organized the thing had the bright idea to shoot outside in the dead of November. Heading inside after you, Bam brushed off the dirt he acquired on his pants from having to lay army crawl style to take the photos, “You wanna get a few more?” He cracked a smile, “Maybe with a little less clothing?” Sitting down on the couch in the living room, you smiled coyly and rubbed your arms to warm yourself up as the rest of the crew filtered in, “Oh? Like how much less?” Bam shrugged nonchalantly, adjusting the camera lense as he set up, “I dunno. Naked ‘d be nice.”

“No way!”

☆彡

The two of you came to a compromise- you got to keep your underwear on while you held a hot pink skate deck you found lying around in front of your chest. A great idea on your part- you literally had Bam’s name shamelessly plastered across your tits. “Hey, Y/N? This isn’t Hustler. Can you, uh- little bit higher? Yeah, that’s it.“ Glancing down, you could hear him snicker when you realized you were accidentally exposing yourself. You giggled and blushed a little as you quickly fixed it, “Oh, sorry!” Your boyfriend murmured something to a very confused camera guy about not dating you for your brains.

All those hours of posing in the mirror for nobody but yourself in your bedroom really paid off, you thought, hearing Bam’s murmured comments from behind the camera, “Yeah, that’s it…perfect. Just like that.” Holding back giggles at all the attention you were getting, an idea suddenly crossed your mind. “Hey, Bam!” He pulled away from the camera for a second as you called out to him, a smile playing on your lips, “Let’s do one together!” Shaking his head, you could’ve sworn you saw a bit of color on his cheeks.

“C’mon! It’d be so cute- If you show your boobs, I’ll show mine!” You couldn't help from smirking as you watched him mentally weigh out the options of your very convincing argument. While the other photographers got their cameras ready, your boyfriend tugged off his shirt much to your delight as you happily tossed the deck to the side. It was a fact that you could talk Bam into anything if you asked sweetly enough. Straddling his lap as he sat low on the purple chaise lounge that he bought just for this photoshoot, you waited for the cameras to start flashing before you leaned down, capturing his lips in a sloppy kiss. Maybe you hammed it up for the camera a little, but Bam didn’t have a problem with it. Smiling at the feeling of rough, calloused hands squeezing posessively at your hips, you pulled away slightly, your eyelashes fluttering as you giggled softly against Bam’s lips, “Yr’the best boyfriend ever…”

#jackass #bam margera #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #bam margera x reader #missy is such a fashion icon how is nobody talking about this!

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