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searchingforgravity · 5 months ago

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Graceland Experience - PART 7

Fandom: Elvis/Elvis (2022)

Prompt: You have a conversation with Elvis which leads to something he doesn't expect.

TW: kissing, vomiting

Word Count: 1999

A/N: Ah the cliffhanger, there will be more in the next one though! It will be out soon!

You take a deep breath as you prepare to knock on his door. You waited until Sonny had to leave to go on an errand so you could talk to him alone. You raise your hand in a fist reaching to knock.

You can't do it.

Turning to go back to your room, the door to his bedroom opens. You spin back around and he stands there with his arms crossed, his eyebrow raised in inquiry.

"You need somethin' honey? Why are you lingering?"

"Um yes, I do."

There is a long beat as you just stand there looking at him. You feel completely paralyzed. Leaning against his door frame, he takes in your state, sensing your anxiety.

"Is something the matter?"

You swallow.

"Yes."

The palm of his hand travels to his face as he rubs his cheek. He hums, and you see a quick flicker of fear cross his face before he masks it. Another moment goes by as you two look at each other. He clears his throat.

"Well, I can't help you if you don't say anything, can I?" he sighs, feigning irritation but his voice is strained.

Tense.

You release a breath. It's now or never.

"You have my things," you try to say firmly, but it comes out in a whisper.

His face drains of color.

"Ah," he mutters softly.

It seems like he's been waiting for you to confront him about this.

"Yes, I do."

Oh God. Your stomach sinks and it takes all your strength to stay upright. You become light-headed as you try to swallow, but you can't.

"Come here, honey. Sit down," he sighs as he opens his door motioning over to a pair of chairs in the corner of his room.

You enter his room as he shuts the door.

"Elvis, I-what did you find?" your voice is panicked, but that is the last thing on your mind at the moment.

"Honey, just sit down and-" he starts but you cut him off.

"Elvis, if anyone else knows I-oh God, what's going to happen? What did you see?"

You can't catch your breath.

"(Y/N)! I'm not gonna say it again. Sit. Down."

Your eyes snap up to his at his insistence. You mutter out an 'okay' and you sit down.

"Good. Good," he sighs, his hand threading through his hair. "Now, I'm gonna need you to tell me I'm not crazy."

---

He lays it out in front of you, and you have to will yourself not to puke.

It's everything.

Your wallet, ID (with the year you were born and expiration date), even your cell phone. You are at a complete loss for words as you look up at him. His eyes connect with yours.

"Honey, I'm gonna need to to tell me I'm not crazy in about 2 seconds, because I'm this close to losin' my Goddamn mind," he breathes, fear in his voice.

"I don't know what to say."

It's a lame response, but it's the truth.

"What to say? What the hell is all this?!"

"Well...what does it look like?"

He steps back as he turns away from you, a laugh escaping him in disbelief as his hand comes to cover his mouth.

"No. That isn't possible," he mutters.

"Why do you think I freaked out when I woke up here! I didn't think it was either. I-."

You don't know what else to say. You look at Elvis and he looks unwell. He's as white as a ghost. He looks like he's going to- oh God. Running to the bathroom and grabbing his trash can as you hear him groan, sitting on one of the chairs. You get to him just in time as he hurls into the trash can, grasping onto your shoulder to keep from falling over. You have to steady yourself to keep from stumbling over.

"I was really hoping you would say it was a joke," he gasps after spitting in the trash.

You chuckle at the irony of the situation, deja vu hitting you hard as you were in this position not too long ago.

"I wish it was," you say sincerely.

He groans as you imagine his stomach turning.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I'm gonna need you to leave my room. I can't-" he starts, pausing, thinking.

"I'll talk to you later, I just can't do this right now."

Your heart sinks, although it frightened you to learn that he knew your secret, it is relieving to be able to share it with someone.

"Okay," you mutter, placing the can down in front of him.

He grabs your hand before you can get up from kneeling on the floor. A shock wave runs throughout your body as you look up at him.

"I'm really sorry honey, I just need to rest. I feel like- God I feel crazy," he apologizes, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

You bring your free hand to hold his in both of yours, massaging his knuckles in small circles.

"I know, I'm sorry too, the feeling will pass. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

You release his hand and walk to the door, opening it gently before closing it behind you. When you approach your room, you close it before going to your own chair, letting your face fall in your hands.

---

"Jer, can you pass over the salt," Elvis mumbles, avoiding eye contact with you as you look across the table at him.

It is tearing you up inside. It's been two days since you spoke to him in his room and he has been ignoring you ever since. He won't even look at you.

"Yeah, here you go, E," Jerry responds as he hands it over.

You pick at your food, you haven't had much of an appetite lately. Elvis has told everyone that he was feeling a little under the weather after you two spoke, and has barely left his room.

"Hey, (Y/N), I got you something while I was out and about yesterday, for your books," Sonny says, having learned your name when you told him and Jerry you remembered it.

You figured they couldn't do much with just a first name. Your attention is pulled away from Elvis' sullen face.

This grabs Elvis' attention too.

"Uh, it's not much but, well here ya go," he fumbles, holding out an intricate bookmark, with a beautiful swirling design of gold.

It's very nice. You take it from his hand.

"Thank you Sonny, this is very nice. I love it," you say, turning it over to see the same design on the back.

It's heavy, a metal bookmark, so it doesn't fade. You look up at him and his cheeks are rosy, a bashful grin on his face.

Oh. Oh.

"Well, I saw it and thought of ya. Thought you might like it," he muses before quickly going back to his meal.

Your cheeks flush as you tuck the bookmark under your leg. Does Sonny...like you?

You hear Elvis clear his throat and look up. Your eyes finally connect with his after two excruciating days of him acting like you don't exist. And his gaze is piercing through you. He looks pissed. He then glances over to Sonny who is smiling like he just won a million dollars. Suddenly, his chair scrapes against the floor. Everyone else turns their attention to him.

"I'm not feeling’ so well anymore. I'm goin' to my room," he mumbles, not breaking eye contact with you until he turns to trudge up the stairs.

"What crawled up his ass?," Sonny mumbles, as he looks back down to his breakfast.

You hum in acknowledgement as you wonder the same thing.

---

You sit up in bed pulling the covers over you in your room looking towards your closed door. It's about 10:30 P.M. and Elvis stayed in his room ever since breakfast. He didn't even come down for dinner. You want to knock on his door and speak with him, finally talk to him after two days of radio silence, but you feel like he wouldn't want that. You relax back into the chair as you open up Sound of Thunder again. You've read pretty far into the book and are getting into the part where the main character, Eckles, is learning the importance of the butterfly effect by his travel guide, Travis.

“All right,” Travis continued, “say we accidentally kill one mouse here. That means all the future families of this one particular mouse are destroyed, right?” “Right.” “And all the families of the families of the families of that one mouse! With a stamp of your foot, you annihilate first one, then a dozen, then a thousand, a million, a billion possible mice!”

Travis goes onto explain that just one simple action done in the past can alter the course of the world itself. You look back to your closed door. Could Elvis knowing about you change things? From him just knowing, would the course of history be affected? Your stomach starts to churn at the possibility. You hope not. You turn back to the book as your eyes start to get heavy.

---

You can't breathe. The hands around your neck are squeezing so tight you feel all the blood rush to your face. You try to yell out but you can't. You can't move. Elvis' eyes gleam as tears stream down his face, Salty droplets falling onto your own. You grab onto his hands, trying to will him to stop.

"Why are you back?! Why did you come back!" the shaky laboured breath calls from above you, but it sounds so far away.

Lurching up in bed, you scream. And scream. You clutch the sheets to your chest as labored breaths escape your lips. You are covered in sweat. Suddenly the door surges open. The light flicks on.

"What! What's goin' on?"

You expect to see Sonny on the other end of the door, but Elvis stands there, concern written all over his face. With the speed of which he arrives, it's as if he was already awake as he stands in just his pajama pants, no shirt.

You hide your face in the sheets.

"Stay away from me!"

It's the nightmare talking, you know, but your body is riddled with fear. You shake uncontrollably as sobs escape you.

"Hey," a gentle voice calls from beside you, a hand resting on your shoulder.

You shrink at the touch.

"Don't hurt me! I'll leave I promise, I just-"

"(Y/N) calm down, you're alright. I won't hurt you, baby. I won't hurt you," He whispers.

Then, hesitantly, he breathes, "Don't leave."

In the midst of your panic, your heart flutters.

You feel his hand thread through your hair as he pulls you into his arms, rocking back and forth.

"No one's gonna hurt you, sweet heart," he repeats, his lips coming to your forehead, lingering.

You cling to him as you try to calm your breathing. You then realize what position you're in. You are in his arms. His warm body encasing you.

"I'm sorry, I had a nightmare" you croak, starting to pull away from him.

The hand stroking your hair suddenly sinks deeper until it reaches your scalp. Before you know what's happening, you feel him draw your mouth to his, your lips connecting.

You're frozen. Your mind races. You feel him start to move his mouth on yours before realizing you aren't responding to the kiss.

He pulls away.

"Was that okay?" he whispers, in the softest, tenderest voice you've ever heard.

You don't respond, your mind is so jumbled, you don't know how to respond. You want to say yes, but your mind keeps going back to the book you fell asleep reading. the butterfly effect.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, embarrassment in his voice as he moves to release you.

You grab his hand to keep him in place.

"I don't want you to leave."

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Tag List:

@horrorgirl4life @tantamount-treason @peaceloveelvis @sissylittlefeather @father-of-2cats @goldobsessionsworld @elvisalltheway101 @littlehoneyposts @atleastpleasetelephone @ccab @msamarican @presleyhearted

#elvis imagine #elvis presley #elvis 2022 #elvis the pelvis #elvis smut #elvis presley smut #elvis fanfic #elvis fans #graceland

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sdr2lovemail · 1 year ago

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Diggers accidentally drugs himself because he refuses to clean his van. (GN Reader)

Synopsis: Diggers gets coated in his own bubble solution and seeks you out in his high haze.

Notes: Before I got to requests I wanted to get a feel for writing the Reverse 1999 universe. I love this stupid white boy and his magic bubbles. I also love making headcanons from one off lines. Take a shot every time I say 'solution'!

Requests are open!

The sound of banging metal rings sharp in Diggers’ ears as someone knocks on the door of his van. The door slides open, and the arcanist shines with a bright grin upon seeing you. With relaxed arms, he brings you into a hug. Your face is pressed against him while his hair tickles against your face.

“Baby, what’re you doing ‘round here?” He smelled like citrus and something more earthy. Despite his lanky frame, his body ran pretty warm. “If I knew you were coming, I woulda cleaned up a little.”

The messy disaster that was his van wasn’t anything new. Records stacked in piles, his guitar lying haphazardly on the ground, and many jars and buckets to make bubble solution. It was a miracle that he could move around without hurting himself.

“Well, maybe if you had a telephone, I could tell you when I’m coming over.” You chided as he guided you to a bean bag in the corner.

Diggers let out a huff. “Telephones blind us from our real-world connections. We forget the importance of face-to-face conversation when tethered to machines.” He rants while looking through scattered jars.

“That’s a lot of words to say you can’t afford one.” You teased, watching him move around the cramped area.

Finding the specific glowing liquid he was searching for, Diggers turned back towards you. “The dependency of consumerist behaviors will be the topic of another day. Right now, I have to show you my latest creation of inspiration.” In front of him was a bright pink jar of solution.

The bubble-blowing arcanist loved showing you his art. When he would be making different creations, you would always be in a part of his mind. Love is a form of art, and he strived to make beautiful works with you, to live together in a peaceful utopia where creativity flourished.

“This is my latest solution! With this, I can-!” He’s abruptly cut off as his foot catches on the strap of his guitar. He tumbles back, and the jar slips from his hands. The sour-smelling liquid spills over his body, leaving him with a bubbly sheen. “Ah! Bullocks! Maybe it won’t kick in…” His speech started to slur in an act of cruel irony.

After spending so much time with Diggers, you’ve learned how to counter his bubbles. There have been too many incidents of you getting caught in the crossfire and blacking out, leaving you with no memory of what happened. You pull out a face mask infused with your arcane magic from your pocket. It was a simple and effective way to deter his hallucinogenic solutions.

You help him sit up, brushing the soapy hair out of his face. His eyes were unfocused and hazy, and his pupils were blown wide, nearly swallowing the green iris. “Diggers, are you alright?”

The sound of your voice draws his attention more than your touch. “Ugghhh… My muse, your voice is a gift from beyond. A true work of art. I would carve it into a record if I could.” He rambles on in a haze. Leaning further into your touch, Diggers slumps against your body, pressing his shiny cheek onto your shoulder. The position is pretty awkward, but he is content.

“My reverie… my perfect reverie. As long as you’re with me, peace will surround me.” With two fingers, the arcanist makes a peace sign, holding it out to you.

Mimicking the sign, you press your middle and pointer fingers into his. It was an affectionate gesture that Diggers came to you with. You don’t fully remember when and why he started doing it, but it was sweet. It was something so charming and uniquely Diggers like.

Taking your hand fully in his, Diggers lets out another groan. “There might be too many crystalized herbs in this solution… My head won’t stop spinning.”

“Please don’t throw up on me.” You spoke bluntly. It wouldn’t be the first, and probably not the last, time it’s happened. Your partner had a rather sensitive stomach.

“I’m trying my best not to.” Feeling that sitting up was too much of a chore, Diggers slumps over further until his head is on your lap. With him looking up at you, you could see his eyes were less cloudy and more focused. The soap bubbles must be starting to wear off now.

“You look positively inspiring at this angle. I should save up money for a camera. Then you’ll be by my side all the time. Hm, is there anywhere to get film developed nearby?” Though he was still rambling, he sounded much more coherent.

With your free hand, you start to play with his drying hair. “I think there’s a camera store on 10th Street.”

“Maybe I’ll learn to develop the film myself. Then after I learn how I can teach you.” Diggers spoke with his usual exaggerated hand gestures. He was feeling much better now that the soap was starting to dry. But of course, he would love to stay in your lap longer.

With a hum, you idly twirl his hair. You found it cute how he always wants you to feel included in his life. Whether it’s telling you about his latest solutions or inviting you to start some mischief in the name of peace and creativity, Diggers always wanted you to be around.

“It seems like you’re back to normal. Are you feeling better?” You asked while cupping his face, his stubble scratching against your skin.

Letting out a near-dreamy sigh, Diggers pushed his cheek further into your palm, relishing in the warmth. “A moment in your arms is like a moment in heaven. If anything, your caring touch is what nursed me back to perfect health.”

Though you tried to keep it in, a small laugh passed your lips. “That was so corny.”

“I know, but it made you laugh.” He smiled. With a small grunt, he sits up from your lap and pulls you into an embrace. Diggers hooks a finger onto your face mask and pulls it down; leaning in to give you a tender kiss. “I do feel a lot better. Hmm, but I need the solution’s effects to last longer. I guess accidentally drugging myself was a worthy sacrifice for knowledge.”

“Please don’t keep drugging yourself just to test your bubbles…”

#reverse 1999 x reader #diggers x reader #reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 diggers #reverse 1999 diggers x reader #re1999 #x reader #diggers

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sleeplesssmoll · 7 months ago

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The Timekeeper and the Warden (Reverse 1999 AU)

I know I said I was studying but this is all @blehhhhhsthings fault! They keep making me brainstorm (thank you but also what have you done lol)

I was inspired by their Mask Tk au, but I put my own twist on it since I am a twisted individual. This is the scenario:

Vertin and Sonetto never make up after the break-away event because instead of Madam Z reaching Smoltin, Manus does first. They were waiting for her because they heard rumors about a child with Storm Immunity from their inside sources. Finding Vertin as the only child left confirmed those rumors.

Sonetto never gets over Vertin. She thinks about the way she treated Smoltin and blames herself for Vertin's Reversal.

Years later, Sonetto graduates as the top of her class and becomes a field Investigator so she can witness the outside world Vertin longed for. Two years after her graduation (roughly 6 years after break-away), a Manus Vindictae Renegade waltzes through the Foundation's front door. Sonetto pins her to the ground but falters when she realizes they have silver hair. However, she can't see her face because of her mask. The voice is both unfamiliar and nostalgic (because Smoltin is grown up now) but she doesn't have time to dwell on it. The deserter doesn't resist and claims they want to stop Manus more than they hate the Foundation. She's seen the way they treats arcanists who aren't purebloods and the unnecessary violence. She wanted to escape long ago and waited for the perfect opportunity.

Constantine decides to interrogate her further, especially once she sees the special umbrella the renegade brought with her. She must be one of Arcana's pets.

Later, the renegade becomes the Foundation's Timekeeper, and Sonetto is her Warden. While the Timekeeper has flexibility within the Foundation due to her rare Storm Immunity, it's Sonetto's job to keep her in line.

The Foundation also sealed off the Timekeeper's ability to communicate by branding an arcane skill (a curse really) around her throat. She can only speak with her Warden's permission and even if she tries to be sneaky by writing or something, the markings burn red and are incredibly painful (they're triggered by intent, like the bangles on the Island that Arcana and Vertin wore in the real story). Sonetto thinks it's cruel but Constantine informs her its for everyone's safety. This deserter has a silver tongue and she plants dangerous ideas in people's heads. By limiting how much she can say and forcing her to have Sonetto nearby in order to speak, they reduce her opportunities of betrayal. Besides, she's already betrayed Manus. Who's to say she won't turn her back on them next and return with their secrets? Sonetto's whole thing is loyalty and devotion so she starts off very cold with the Timekeeper.

The Timekeeper no longer wears a Manus Hand Mask, but a monochrome Foundation mask that covers her upper face (as much coverage as Bessmert's blindfolds or 2B's mask from Nier so it covers her freckles but leaves her mouth open to eat and make smug smiles with). It completely hides her eyes but she can see better than the average person through it since it has the same enchantment as the other Investigators (the ones that completely cover their face like in the prologue).

The Masked Timekeeper does the sort of the same thing as the Timekeeper we know. She shelters "unhinged" arcanists and takes on the most dangerous missions since her people are considered dangerous and disposable. She is very protective of her crew.

However, she and Sonetto are painfully awkward.

Vertin has no idea how to interact with her former deskmate. In her mind, Sonetto was always nice enough to put up with her but actually couldn't stand her. She doesn't blame Sonetto either because she was...difficult. While Vertin is a touchy and affectionate person, she hesitates with Sonetto or changes her mind last minute.

Meanwhile, Sonetto hates this game of hot and cold she ends up in every time they interact. As much as she hates to admit it, the TK grew on her. She's kind, sincere, and never treats Sonetto like her Warden but as part of her beloved crew. They argue at times but Sonetto never uses her status as Warden to silence her. There is an odd understanding between them even if they never seem to get one another.

This Vertin was raised by Arcana instead of Madam Z. She's a smooth talker and a skilled fighter outside of her crappy arcanum. Instead of a stoic face, she smiles (like Arcana but a smug smile instead of Arcana's creepy "I dare you" one.)

As much as she says she despises Arcana, she kept the Umbrella she gave her. The Umbrella is infused with Arcana's slime and can shape-shift into many things: a shield, a sword, a cane, heck even a fishing pole (she did this to piss Arcana off but her leader found it amusing and creative). This Vertin is also completely shameless when it comes to manipulating others as a means to an end.

She finds out what you desire most and uses that against you. It's one of the reasons Constantine branded her.

"You deserve more. They can't give you that, but I can," type of persuasion. She also frustrates Sonetto by talking around her instead of answering her questions or telling her what's on her mind.

Eventually Sonetto opens up to the Timekeeper about a friend she lost long ago. She's afraid one day she'll forget her.

Vertin has no idea she's talking about her because she didn't think Sonetto thought of her as a friend, just a deskmate she was stuck with. She assumed her friend fell in battle. Lots of people were reversed too so she still doesn't connect the dots until Sonetto specifically brings up the break-away event.

Vertin's name was added to the Forbidden List and you'd be punished for saying it (like the word "Storm" before it was public knowledge). This is one of the reasons the Timekeeper took so long to put together Sonetto's still grieving for her. She's not sure how to deal with this but she doesn't know how to make Sonetto happy. All these years later and she's still a burden on her deskmate.

Some things never change.

Aaaaand that's where I decided to start writing my story from. Although, I could sprinkle this background information throughout...if I knew what I was doing anyway. Reverse did it with AS while Vertin was in a coma so I decided on a dream route.

Sonetto is so scared she'll forget Vertin, she uses AS to see her again. However, she can never remember the color of her eyes. Smoltin would lower them when she spoke to her or avoid her gaze after she found out Sonetto asked the Instructor if she could switch deskmates. That's why it was the first thing she forgot. This makes her panic!

I also want to put Yeni in this fic. She's sooo much like Sonetto but more direct and sarcastic. Essentially, what she and the TK develop is what Sonetto and the TK could have been.

Sonetto tells herself she doesn't care. She's only worried about remembering Vertin and nothing else matters–

But how come she's never seen the TK's face but Yen has!? Unfair. She's known her longer.

Sonetto hasn't realized the others have seen Vertin's face. Constantine only dictated she wear the mask on missions to represent the Foundation, but doesn't care about what Vertin does in her free time once she realizes it's THAT VERTIN. Not many people recall what Smoltin looked like since she was never in the Spotlight due to her awful grades and she was tiny. Just harder to notice in general, especially when everyone's looking down to see her. The school did their best to cover up her past since she had no family to fight for her anyway. They were her "family" since she was a month old.

Vertin finds it hard to face Sonetto so she doesn't take it off in front of her. It's easier this way. She's also still figuring things out.

Constantine's happy her little pawn returned as a more powerful piece to play with. Madam Z cries a bit when she see Vertin, the child she failed to save.

Idk what to call this au or even if it's worth naming if I don't actually do anything with it but I'm open to opinions!

#reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 au #fic ideas #this post is a fic in itself good heaven #i dont know what to do with this despite writing all this

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chunkymamatam · 7 months ago

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Master List Shifting

A little collection of my Storytimes and Shifting Info I've posted

Master List Part 2 cuz I'm out of room <3

Have I actually Shifted?

How long did it take and how long do I stay?

Scripting Suggestions

Shifting Trauma (See Reblogs for more)

Story mix (JJK/Obey Me/Apothecary Diaries)

Please Stop Hoeing around

Stop Hoeing around Images

Old Ref sheets and Group Shifting shit

TWST and Demon Slayer dump

Demon Slayer and Genshin DRself

Sketch Dump 1

Ref sheets for multiple DRs

Are My DRs in 2D or 3D?

My favorites 1

Thoughts on Permashifting

Official List of DRs

Hunter X Hunter

POV: Local idiot attracts the attention of the bitch they were trying to avoid

Illumi chill please/The Zoldyck Parents decent grandparents???

FUCK YOU LEAVE ME FOR DEAD THEN BITCH

Accidentally Crashing a Heaven's Arena interview/Clown Whore exposes himself to his roommate

Advice for shifting here

Rumors and Speculation on Chrollo’s love of feet

Heavens Arena my Shame(Suggestive)

Dumbass interrupts a Heaven's Arena interview for a hug

Divorce Arc? /J

"I have healed you"

Stop being taller than me

Illumi with a partner(In crimes)??? I thought this was a solo act

Heaven's Arena Polaroid and my daughters

Hisoka, a weirdo? Yeah

Sketch Dump

My babies and their father/other versions of myself in my different HxH DRs

Silva being my second biggest hater/Illumi yoinks me over his shoulder

Killua, honey, you're gay

My first 3 kids and my deities are here too

Local Autistic Man loves their husband

Taller than me/Me and my friend's DRselves

Potato Sacked once again

Just let me have the cat bitch/At least the outfits were cute

Die Clown

Illumi and the babies

HxH 1999 Sketches

More 1999 HxH/Clothes for Hisoka/My 2 girls

Big Blackberries

Hisoka is in fact a Micro Celebrity

Bugs and Buddies

work and perspective shifts

Twisted Wonderland

Bullied awake by Pomefiore

A casual meeting with a prince/Sleep over with Lilia

Snatched by the night raven carriage

Dragon Prince Bullies his tiny human

Classes and What they entail 1

Classes and what they entail 2/Other questions

Gender in Night Raven

Experience with Rook and Leona

Gender advice/Experiences in Book 3

Beast men and gender

Sebek racist???

Sebek being my biggest hater

Humans ate Merfolk? The answer is unsurprising unfortunately

Ace/Deuce Stories

Human Fuckery???

Does it get better in NRC?

Malleus the Otome

oooooo Sebek's in troouubblleee

Religion?

Oh Vil, Guess what I'm eating

Maleficent knows I exist *Whale eyes like a nervous dog*

I've got ✨connections✨

Sketch Dump

Sorry Pookie(Vil) but I gotta dip

Snatched by Scarabia(Also art from one of my Alters)

Hypnosis isn't cool

Cuz Crowely's a bitch

Pool Time with The Tweels(and Wally's here too)

Misc TWST shit

Ace and Deuce

Floyd Stories

"NPCs" and Overblots

Demon Slayer

Getting Harassed by Upper 2

That bitch killed my bird

Canon event(Snatched once again)

ENMU PLEASE FOLLOW THE SCRIPT

Worst part to live through in Demon Slayer

Is it a good idea to shift here?

Zenitsu I know Girls better than you

Scared for the Infinity Castle

Obey Me

We joke now but-

The brothers lowkey fucking haters

My biggest part 2

Height Approximations

Genshin Impact

Mini Shift and my run in with Scaramouche

The Pig Masked Shopper and Kaeya's Shitty Flirting

Taking a Drunken Kaeya Home

Complicated Feelings with Ajax

Chilling with the mels

Zhongli and Diluc Doodles

I'm a big stupid idiot

I'll be adding onto advice and tidbit posts as I think of them. Have a lovely day <3

Also tell me if anything is repeating/links wrong its really late

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worstpart · 4 days ago

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[ DO I EVEN EXIST? IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE MASKS I WEAR, IS THERE ONLY BLANK SPACE UNDERNEATH? ]

( sobhita dhulipala . cis woman . she / her ) . ⸻ jaya kasturi , a thirty year old , has survived another day in red creek where they have lived for her whole life . the backstabber is known for being insightful and venal and is often associated with a pen spinning between fingers , book pages creased from being dogeared over and over , dust motes visible when the sun shines through the room . in a small town where they work as a therapist at red creek hospital word travels fast . it’s hard to keep a secret , and it looks like the boogeyman knows that redacted .

𝟶𝟶𝟷. 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙲𝚂 …

⋯⋯⋯ GENERAL DETAILS.

FULL NAME: jaya kasturi. NICKNAME(S): none. AGE: thirty. DATE OF BIRTH: january 8. PLACE OF BIRTH: red creek, michigan. CURRENT LOCATION: red creek, michigan. GENDER: cis woman. PRONOUNS: she/her. ORIENTATION: bisexual. OCCUPATION: therapist at bearhold community hospital.

⋯⋯⋯ PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

HEIGHT: 5'9. TATTOOS: marigolds on her inner wrist and a beetle on her calf. PIERCINGS: one in each ear and a nostril piercing. CLOTHING STYLE: professional, clean, sophisticated. DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: is almost always seen wearing jhumkas.

⋯⋯⋯ HEALTH.

ALLERGIES: none. SLEEPING HABITS: very well. generally doesn't dream unless she wants to. EATING HABITS: prefers making her own food. doesn't really like cooking for other people though. SOCIABILITY: 7/10. somewhat sociable. easy when it's for her job or to get information when she wants it. DRINKING / SMOKING / DRUGS: yes / yes / no.

⋯⋯⋯ PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS: compassionate, insightful, perceptive, insightful. NEGATIVE TRAITS: venal, self-serving, manipulative, secretive, deceitful. LIKES: a glass of wine before bed with a bad romance novel, debating (arguing), farmer's markets. DISLIKES: texts, emails, bugs. FEARS: letting herself down. HABITS: spinning a pen between her fingers, 'hmmm's, scribbling in the corners of notebook pages. HOBBIES: wine and a bad romance book, karaoke, cooking.

𝟶𝟶𝟸. 𝙱𝙸𝙾𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙿𝙷𝚈 / 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 …

truncated backstory pls bear with me...

jaya was her parents' second born child. her older brother by two years, kiran, has always been a light to their parents. he's won every ribbon, certificate, trophy, and accolade to exist, including the hearts of their parents. is she bitter? maybe. move along... she's an adult she definitely doesn't look to her parents for validation at her big age.

everything was a competition with him, even if neither of them wanted it to be, it always ended in one. being only 5 years old during the 1999 murders, she was always fed nightmares by kiran about how she'd be next. basic #sibling stuff really. if you do my chores then he won't get you etc etc etc.

yeah she ended up with a bit of a Complex about it. better go get a bachelors and masters degree in psychology to unpack all that. ended up going to a local college for undergrad and got a much needed break from red creek through doing her masters in psychology at the university of chicago.

while she wanted to get the hell out of red creek from the start, she ended up right back when she started. why? who knows. for all she hates red creek, either the town has its claws in her, or she has hers in it. either way, she can't leave even if she wants to. and god does she want to.

in the past few years, kiran gave their parents grandkids and trips back to visit extended family in andra pradesh, while jaya delivered to them news of a failed engagement. womp womp

managed to move into a house on the farthest side of town she can get from her family, even though it means she's far from the hospital as well.

was somewhat close to daniela and was quite distraught when she heard the news about her being missing + the questioning that followed. has been dealing with it pretty poorly. a little on edge but has been using that to focus more on her patients.

is jaya the world's most ethical therapist? definitely not. however, consider this: who cares, she's good at it and she's hot so..

will fight and scream and claw and backstab and manipulate and be terrible to get what she wants.

thats all gn <3 plots later

#redcreek.intro

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gnsaein · 1 year ago

Text

[ origins / profile / plots / muse ]

🤸 —— ! happy opening day everyone, i'm so excited to be here. i'm sol (they/xe) and this is my manic pixie failgirl moon saein --- ran from the bad clutches of his family six years ago, only to end up in the arguably worse clutches of a nefarious circus troupe ( as one does ) , then finally came limping back to gaenari a week ago.

leave a like if you'd like me to reach out for plots! alternatively, we can just start a thread and see where chemistry takes us.

THEN:

moon saein, born in 1999, single child of moon seonhee and moon bomin. they're descended from one of the first families to build houses in gaenari, so they go a long ways back if anyone else is old blood !

his father's a big stickler for tradition and legacy. rumor has it that his marriage to seonhee was arranged and bomin, who was feral for a successor to carry on his torch, saw her as nothing more than a way to extend his bloodline. i'm taking inspiration from carrie for his childhood, so if you know the vibes...then u know.

formerly a chronic runaway. his parents were already disappointed that he turned out to be incompetent when it came to the construction family legacy, but the runaway antics were when they really gave up on him.

it was a typical cry for attention. they could've gotten angry, they could've punished him, he would've taken anything if it meant that, idk, they actually gave a shit about him? but it was like he was invisible if he wasn't serving them a purpose.

would run away intermittently between 13-17yrs old, culminating to 6 years ago when he finally, properly ran --- a very abrupt and fevered decision, and the first time that he actually gets out of gaenari. he ends up in daehan, where he spends a year just surviving. if anyone has a muse who was also on a bender in daehan around 5-6 years ago, hmu, they could've gotten fucked up and self destructive together : )

after daehan, he ended up joining a circus, for a lack of a better word. it was a traveling troupe of performers and they performed on makeshift stages in glitzy masks, and at that point it was the most magical thing saein had ever seen in his little sheltered life.

saein meets his mentor eunha there and she helps him become one of their most reliable performers --- showy, impressive acrobatics leaping through the air, twisting up hanging silk ribbons. to the audience, it's all shows and gimmicks, but eunha insists that there's something more at the heart of their shows. that there's magic. saein, prone to fantasy and romance, completely buys it.

the catch: there's a test that all performers go through before they're considered a permanent part of the troupe. eunha says that if he does, the magic will be pleased with him too. and saein would do just about anything to make somebody proud; he agrees without a second thought.

the test involved him helping out with a vanishing act. you can read more about it in his background, but basically it ended with him falling into a small, dark, locked box for over 12 hours, screaming for help and terrified that no one would remember to come looking for him.

when the test "ends" and he's "rescued," he can't talk or sleep properly for a full week. eunha wants him to try again. she says she knows he can do it, he just needs to be stronger.

saein can't deal with the pressure of disappointing her 🤘 he sneaks out a few nights later, quiet and inevitable, and runs right back home.

NOW:

his parents aren't happy he's back, borderline pissed about it. they tell him to find his own place to stay. he's therefore now eun street's latest resident at apt. #403 (and looking for a roommate!)

a receptionist at the gym. he plans to befriend security to let him stay a little longer after hours, bc the acrobatics were actually therapeutic and he needs someplace to keep practicing.

i'm thinking it has only been a week or so since he came back? he's been quiet.

in general, he's quieter than before. still animated if you get him going, but he's jumpy and prone to spacing out these days. to anyone who knew him before, it's a notable difference from the bright eyed, bushy tailed kid he used to be.

he came back bc he convinced himself that there was something calling him back to gaenari. is it magic here too? is it some cosmic entity that lives inside of the mountain and wants him carnally? or was he just so terrified of disappointing eunha that he had to make up a fantasy excuse to leave them too? who knows! 🔮

when he's not working, he's wandering around claiming to be listening to the ghosts of the mines or laying out somewhere on a field, head full of tumbleweeds.

PLOTS:

here are his established plots!

people who knew him before. his parents tried really hard to downplay his existence when they couldn't control him but that probably came off as them trying to sweep the ""bad seeds"" under the rug.

people who didn't know him before. he's marveling at all of the little ways town has changed and the new faces around.

people he met while he was in daehan 5-6 yrs ago. this could have been anywhere from a quick meeting to a months long spiral into codependency (jk! unless)

it would take more plotting, but i'd also love a connection with someone who knew of/once watched/was also part of the troupe that he was in? maybe someone else he helped out of that circus and brought back to gaenari or someone who followed him here?

ever since his “test” he’s been terrified of sleeping in locked rooms, and just small, closed spaces in general. maybe someone runs into him freaking out while they’re someplace confined and has to be like Hey .. Calm down?…

he likes to ride the bus/trains out to daehan sometimes just to feel like he's going somewhere. give me someone who's on those late night rides too, who maybe also knows a thing about the dark.

any old friends he left behind; except for the muse involved in his one established plot, he didn't tell anyone he was leaving

for anyone looking to stay a little later at the gym too, they'll start to constantly find him there, so he could sneak them in absolutely with no questions asked.

any fellow people out there with family issues lol. they can commiserate and give each other advice that they can't follow for themselves.

healthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy coping mechanisms. i-don't-know-you-but-you've-got-the-same-fucked-up-look-in-your-eye isms. we-just-need-to-take-our-minds-off-the-grisly-act-of-surviving isms. i-will-not-ask-where-you-came-from-and-neither-should-you isms [hozier outro plays us out]

i'm very sorry that this is so long. if you got here, ily, let's write together 🙏.

#intro.#i fear i need to sleep soon for work but please let me cause our muses drama and agony.

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gunsli-01 · 2 years ago

Note

I’m not sure if you’ve talked about this before, but in preparation for her second trial I wanted to ask you what you think of Mahiru’s behavior in her first voice drama. The entire thing is extremely uncomfortable to me, but I might be viewing it from a biased lens. I’m just not really sure what point is trying to be made with her character, if you add her flirting with a fifteen year old into the mix…?

Sorry, this response is so late I've been out of town until yesterday morning and spent most of yesterday unconscious. While, I can understand some people’s discomfort when it comes to Mahiru’s behavior during her first voice drama… I can’t help but feel like it’s the same as harping on the use of fang in Triage. Where yes, her behavior can have negative connotations, but every other connotation is being conveniently ignored. “To extract that fang now.” Like oh Kotoko is in so much trouble the person with the brass knuckles and police baton is going to be taken out by the doctor who ultimately admitted that if he’s put under even an inkling of the mental stress or restraint the other guilty voted prisoners are under he won’t be able to help anybody not even himself.

That is wild to me. This man came into the interrogation room and admitted on tape that he is a bitch, and he would not live through what the Guilty voted prisoners had to. The only thing stopping him from getting the death he wants being other people don’t want to die. Then folks really came out like what if he hurts Kotoko she’s in so much danger if he’s innocent. Kotoko might jump his ass even if he is innocent let’s be real this is not about her and it never should be. Like wild…

Especially when like the literal second step to taking care of wounds caused by animals is removing any hair or teeth from the impacted area. You don’t dress the cut while the knife is still in you don’t put gauze over someone’s scrapped up hands with the thorns still in it. So, this line is far less threatening when you know that.

Just like Mahiru’s behavior in her first interrogation begins to make a lot more sense the more about attachment you know.

So, first�� Let’s talk about secure and unhealthy attachment. Now I expect everyone in the Milgram fanbase to know a little about attachment theory. Predominantly about anxious attachment given how popular it has become to discuss that form of attachment in recent years and with how anxiety has been more widely accepted as an issue many people face. So, nervous habits like Haruka’s are easier for individuals to sympathize with while on the other hand the unhealthy form of attachment Mahiru displays can go easily overlooked or not be viewed as an attachment issue at all.

Even if she recognizes it is and warns people about it accordingly. “I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!”

Attachment styles are usually looked at through a lens of consideration for children.

However, it’s been extended to adults as well and there are four attachment styles that adults can exhibit. Those being Secure, Avoidant, Anxious, and Disorganized.

“Individuals with anxious attachments are easily triggered and struggle to cope with their triggers (Johnson & Whiffen, 1999). Anxious attachment increases an individual’s need for closeness and also increases fears about the relationship and being rejected. Those who are more anxiously attached are more aware of their emotions but difficulties identifying and managing their emotions (Stevens, 2014). Avoidant attachment typically is associated with an avoidance of interpersonal closeness, a discomfort with emotional disclosure, and a desire for relational independence (Bartholomew, 1990; Mikulincer, Shaver & Pereg, 2003). Individuals with avoidant attachment typically mask their emotions and are less aware of their emotional state and are less reactive to their emotions, both positive and negative (johnson & Whiffen, 1999; Stevens, 2014).

Disorganized attachment is characterized by experiences of intense emotions and difficulty tracking one’s self and others (Beeney et al., 2017). Individuals with disorganized attachment struggle to engage in a predictable way because internal conflict experienced because of simultaneous fear of attachment figures and need for attachment figures (Rholes, Paetzolf, & Kohn, 2016).”

Mahiru’s attachment style and to an extent Mikoto’s mirror that of disorganized attachment. Where an individual is simultaneously afraid of having close relationships and stressed about not having any relationships. To really boil the problem down. It’s that feeling of don’t help me out because then I’ll believe you’ll be there for me but eventually you won’t be either because I’m too much or you’re too little but it’d be good to have someone to rely on to so…I hope you’re nice to me just a little bit. That stress of actually yes but no but maybe but no.

Unlike the signs of anxious attachment Haruka shows which is pretty much the opposite as he goes,

“I shouldn’t get too involved with people in the first place. Even with all the prisoners they may misunderstand. It’s no good.”,

“You shouldn’t be too close to me bringing misfortune to people is the only thing I’m naturally good at. The more you know about me, I’m sure I’ll bring misfortune onto you as well prison guard.”/ “You, everyone, if you all knew me… If you knew everything I did…I’m gonna be abandoned, that’s bound to happen.”

There’s a stark difference between I’m warning you not to get close because I’m afraid of being abandoned and that encompassing fear of I’m afraid of both the positive and negative aspects that come along with being close to anyone. Because if you’re afraid of both and it’s impossible to avoid having either at that point you’ll just do whatever and hope things don’t get serious. This sort of person can’t push people away to avoid being abandoned because then they’ll feel isolated and seeking to stop that isolation may led to them being to close to someone causing their fear of being abandoned to spike. So, they try to stay in the middle either by building up social barriers between them and others or just flat out warning people like if you’re nice I may rely on you.

It's a form of unhealthy attachment that’s difficult to deal with/recognize because people with this issue don’t inherently seem like they have issues socializing with others when it comes to everyday situations. Most attachment styles form in childhood but people with secure attachment can undergo trauma later in life and develop disorganized or anxious attachment styles. Now Mahiru’s home life seems to have been fine from what we’ve been given so far.

However, her romantic relationship seems to have been problematic for both parties, with the focus on cheating and the implied length of the relationship along with how it ended with Mahiru considering herself a murderer to the point that unlike some who try to deny it or justify their choice she just goes, “Kill someone… I guess I did… I can’t really deny it, can I?”

Yet, the notion that Mahiru was flirting with Es kind of overlooks that as soon as Es gives their name and age Mahiru says,

“Fifteen years old and a prison guard! Really, at that age? Despite being so young, you’re so admirable! If anything’s troubling you can talk it over with big sis, okay?”

Mahiru becomes informed of Es’ age at the start of the interrogation and immediately takes on a big sister role all on her own. Mahriu recognizes Es’ annoyance at her turning the questions on him but keeps asking questions as soon as she thinks of them.

I wouldn’t really call that flirting I’d call it being a talkative airhead if anything. Something Mahiru is shown to be through her interactions in the timeline.

20/05/30

Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? Though, it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sports? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts?

Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that?

Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you like yoga or something?

Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or if you’re just an airhead.

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally, I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall, and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That’s not the sort of answer I’d expect from you. I’ve got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn’t resent you so much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

20/06/10

Futa: Hey, why are you acting so carefree all the time? You’re the oldest of the girls here, you should act it and deal with the others properly.

Mahiru: Eh~? I’m acting carefree~? But maybe you’re right. I mean, I…… ah, let’s make this a quiz. Hey, Futa-kun. What do you think I like doing? Tick, tick, tick, tick……

Futa: Ahh, what even is this mood you’ve started. It’s annoying. Just tell me the answer already.

Mahiru: Bzzt! Time’s up! The correct answer is “travelling” and “exciting things”~ You don’t get many chances at a lifestyle as exciting as this, right? So, of course I’m going to be a bit carefree, ufufu~

20/06/19

Kazui: By the way…… thanks, Shina-chan. You keep going around and talking to people to make sure the mood never gets too sour, right? It’s a big help. We’re all in here together, after all. If a fight broke out the whole group could fall apart.

Mahiru: ……eh? Huh~? Ah, no, I’m just talking to people because I personally want to talk. All the kids are so cute, so I can’t help but want to fuss over them! A fight, huh… But if that ever happened, then you’ll definitely be a big help, right~? Since you’re so big! And buff!

Kazui: Ahh, no. I mean, I’ll do what I can. Based on appearance, as long as nobody has a weapon, I think I can probably get everyone under control…… No, we should just hope that nothing like that ever happens.

Mahiru: You know, I quite like watching martial arts, actually. I don’t really get it, but it looks super cool. Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

The timeline is full of examples of Mahiru just being like this. Even if she tells Kazui she’s just going around and talking to the people she wants to. It can’t be overlooked that these small interactions heavily contributed to the light and comfortable atmosphere many appreciated during the first trial. She’s also shown to continually fawn over and spend time with the younger people in Milgram. Even though Futa says she should be taking things more seriously given she’s the oldest woman here by behaving this way that’s exactly what Mahiru is doing.

She's recognizing the situation is weird and trying to put a positive spin on it, so the others don’t get more stressed out. Like it’s a once in a lifetime adventure nothing to be scared over, it’s all good think of it this way if we weren’t here now we wouldn’t even have met and I’m happy I met you aren’t you happy you met me, let’s try to make the best of it. A scary thing is sometimes just something fun upside down. In fact, it’s something adults commonly do with people younger than them during stressful situations. It’s this thing called lying to them because the truth is fundamentally worse.

In this case the truth would be no one regardless of age has any idea about what’s going on here, where they are, and what the people in this facility may do to them.

This is hardly even conjecture on my part since we see Mahiru handle Mu in the way one would a child.

20/07/13

Mahiru: Right…… so you too, Mu-chan…… ……hmm, I guess it’s because of the environment here. Sometimes your mental state has an impact.

Mu: ……you’re the same, then? ……that it’s gone……

Mahiru: ……it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine. This sort of thing happens all the time~ Right, Mu-chan, do you want to eat something sweet? Jackalope-chan left a bunch of stuff out for us.

Mu: Yeah, I’ll eat them…… But…… I’d rather have mille crepe……

She sees Mu is upset, shows she understands why she is upset, and immediately diverts Mu’s attention to something else. It's literally how people are taught to handle upset children. If you can't give them the thing they want either because it's out or doesn't work for some reason divert their attention to something else. Like well that’s gone, everything's fine, things run out sometimes, but you can have this thing instead.

That's literally just being capable of dealing with children at that point. Which isn’t surprising for Mahiru given what we know about her hobbies and interests. That and the fact that it’s been heavily alluded to that she wanted a family and kids. Not only that but she feels like she’s behind when it comes to accomplishing that despite being 22 when she was incarcerated.

20/07/06

Amane: You want to know about my family……? My father is a truly wonderful person. He’s honest, values fairness and justice above all else, and will work himself to the bone for other people’s sake……. Why do you want to know?

Mahiru: Oh, I was just wondering what sort of parents you must have for them to have raised such a good child like you. Fufu, I’ll keep it in mind for the future when I raise my own family.

Amane: I see. If it will be of use to you, I’ll tell you more. It’s still a long way off for me, but for someone your age the prospect of finding a partner and having a family must feel a lot more real. Now that I think about it, I recall my mother was around your age when she gave birth to me……

Mahiru: Oof…! Even though you meant no ill with that statement, Mahiru onee-chan is suddenly really feeling the pressure~~!

The way she refers to herself even changes depending on the age of the person she’s talking to. Referring to herself as big sister with Es and Amane then with Mu and Haruka referring to them both as chan.

20/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……*sigh*……

Mahiru: Haruka-chaaan, come over here a bit! I’m looking up everyone’s horoscopes right now to check our compatibility~ What’s your star sign~?

Haruka: Ah, erm…… s-star sign……? I-I don’t know. Can’t remember…… B-but, my birthday’s June…… 22nd…… I think, that was it……

Mahiru: Ok then. June 22nd is Cancer, so…… A kind person who prioritizes their feelings, and…… hm? That’s today!? June 22nd! You should have told us~ Happy birthday~!

Haruka: Huh? Ah, yeah…… Th-thank you…… very…… much…… hehe……

Mahiru just has a genuine interest in getting to know people. The most important thing to her is mutual understanding. Something she highlights in her voice drama,

“B-but you know prison guard… I think having a mutual understanding of each other is pretty important.”

She doesn’t start asking Es questions until after she's given them information on herself. Even if she jumps the gun on introducing herself, she’s just expecting back what she gave. Like I introduced myself now you okay. This is a pretty common thing people do when they work with children. For example, my god daughter is in elementary school when she goes to school the teacher greets her and doesn't let her in until she greets them back. They do this in order to practice reciprocity when it comes to conversing with others.

I wouldn't consider teachers doing that flirting even if it went past good morning into an actual conversation. Such as the teacher asking a student if they had a nice weekend or about their spring break. Even outside of that framing, like it or not, Milgram is a place where the prisoners and the guard are all forced to interact with each other because they're basically living together.

So, of course they'll have to talk to each other especially during the interrogations. There are benefits in understanding how to have a conversation especially if we're looking to figure out what they did. Being closed off like Yuno or Kazui tends to mean we find out less about what they did. Now, to be frank there are some characters I don't give a damn about knowing better so folks can make up whatever they want but it's incredibly frustrating to have characters I would like to get to know better reduced to just one thing and then shelfed like Yuno.

I just don't believe Mahiru wishing to have a reciprocal conversation is grounds to say she's flirting with anyone. Because honestly if someone were to ask me a bunch of questions about myself then when I’m like okay so what about you suddenly they clam up I’d feel a way about that. Considering that I’d just given them knowledge about me but as soon as I make it about them, they’re walking away… I’d feel a bit used. Because they understand me better, but I know nothing more about them, I haven't gained anything from this interaction.

How is that fair especially if I go through the trouble of answering That’s not how this works, I gave them personal information now they should reciprocate that’s a social transaction, “I don’t just want to give. Both giving and receiving are good things.”

Now it can be interrogated if this was the proper place for Mahiru to apply that sort of understanding. However, she’s only treating Es the same way Kazui, Shidou, and Mikoto did as a child. Because Es is a child. I think the reason people are more suspicious of her than others is because she comes off as more sincere or genuine along with her fixation on discussing romance. Something Mahiru has repeatedly used as a conversational crutch to get comfortable communicating with others. It's not as though this is a subject she only brings up with Es.

So, to me it seems like she’s really been shot in the foot by how sincerely interested she seems to be. The fact that people can’t really tell if she’s serious or not led to her being misinterpreted greatly by fans and within the series itself. Something that’s not surprising given it’s much easier for women to pretend to be engaged in conversation with children than men because well “Oh, wow what’s a nice drawing you have there. Oh, my that’s so interesting I would have never guessed. Oh, whoa amazing- A prison guard at this age how admirable.”

Women are taught how to fake interest earlier than man are most of the time and usually with childrearing in mind. Mahiru is so good at seeming genuine that even Kotoko has to question if she’s taking a dig at her or if she’s just that stupid. Yuno even admits she’s finally figured out that Mahiru is just a natural airhead and not condescending in her first written interrogation.

Q.26 Has anything interesting happened in MILGRAM lately?

Haruka: Recently Mu-san has started talking to me more often.

Yuno: – Confirmed that Mahiru-san really is a natural airhead – Futa getting looked down on by Amane.

The reason that it’s been so difficult for people within Milgram to confirm this about Mahiru is because it’s incredibly difficult to tell if someone is lying when they’re sort of telling the truth. It comes off as genuine because she is impressed by the individual and excited to learn more about them but objectively it’s probably not the most impressive thing she’s ever seen. To be completely honest it is possible she may not even care about what the other person is saying at all or just responding reflexively.

At the end of the day Mahiru has lived twenty-two years whatever anyone beneath her age does in Milgram won’t be a surprise to her. She doesn’t even question why Amane a rather young child is in here for murder while fully understanding something she did resulted in someone else’s death.

“Do you fully understand the situation you’re in, Mahiru? You’re a prisoner who’s killed someone. You weren’t brought here to have fun.”

“Killed someone… I guess I did. I can’t really deny it, can I?”/ “Sin, my sin…I guess so.”

Unlike Mikoto who when genuinely confronted with the idea that everyone is a murderer is like huh no way. Mahiru knows she killed someone, to the point that she can’t even deny it, or attempt to justify why she did. Instead, as soon as the opportunity presents itself, she immediately diverts the conversation back to the topic she’s comfortable with. Es literally only says,

“Milgram exists to reveal the sins of you prisoners then hand down the appropriate judgement on said sins. So, for that reason, talk to me for a bit.”

Mahiru throws everything else Es has said out the window instead latching onto the word talk completely,

“Talk! Yay, let’s talk! Let’s talk! Prison guard, are you interested in me? That makes me so happy.”

Notice how she got rid of the word sin entirely, making the topic of conversation not her sin/murder like Es expressly brought up but herself.

Even Es catches Mahiru’s attempt to derail the interrogation muttering to themselves about it. Yet unlike Yuno and Mu before her Mahiru is persistent. She doesn’t need to make a deal with Es or the series to conveniently give Es an existential crisis because she just happened to ask the right question even though it tries. Nope she’s just chatty and if you’re chatty enough you can get away with not giving anyone the information they asked for.

She notes Es’ muttering stating, “What are you muttering to yourself about?”

Then when Es clears his throat and begins to attempt to take charge of the situation again before they can bring up the topic of sins once more or even ask Mahiru to introduce herself she chimes in with-

“I’ll start! I’m Mahiru Shina, twenty-two years old. I might not be much good at anything, but please be kind to me.”

Then turns the introduction directly back on Es as we’ve discussed before. Reciprocity is a great way to make people feel like they’ve gained something in a conversation even if they haven’t gained the thing they wanted. Because chances are if someone asks you a question and you start a different conversation, they’ll just forget about that question which Es did for a good while.

During the rest of Mahiru’s interrogation. Mahiru continues to lead the conversation regardless of how many times Es tries to put it back on track. Mahiru even throws in trivial information about herself to keep the conversation going in the direction she likes or just keep it flowing. Mentioning the magazines she read, offering herbal solutions to Es’ memory problems. Until she slips up but ultimately goes back into the topic, she’s comfortable discussing love.

When the mention of her crime does come up again, she clams up only responding with,

“I guess it did… I think it was love.”/ “I suppose…you’re right.”

Giving very short answers up until the point Es assumed she killed out of jealousy or due to a grudge. After that she’s suddenly very willing to elaborate on the situation,

“You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never wanted to kill anyone in the first place! I just… I was… just being myself."

“What do you mean by that?”

“Not telling. After all I still don’t know you that well, prison guard.”

Mahiru is very aware of what she wishes to disclose and what she doesn't wish to. Instead of lying to Es which was something she could have done she bluntly goes I'm not telling you that covering it up with the fact she doesn't know the guard well enough. Just to give Es the impression that with enough time they'll get to know each other enough then she'll feel comfortable telling him that. It's the social equivalent of I'll tell you when you're older which is basically maybe this will come up again but it more than likely won't.

Now, if you’re discussing the ending of the interrogation specifically,

“Hey, prison guard, please tell me. If I love someone is that something unforgiveable?”

“I don’t know from the beginning, I never really understood what you were saying.”

“Oh, I see… I guess so. There’s something wrong with me, right? You can’t understand me, right?”

“Yeah, as of now.”

“Huh?”

“As of now I don’t understand you. That’s what I’m saying. But I will soon. Just wait and see. To be honest, the topics brought up in this interrogation were entirely outside of my area of expertise. Because of that I may have to deepen my understanding just as you said.”

“Prison guard.”

“I’m your prison guard even if I have an aversion to something or there’s something I can’t understand doesn’t meant I’m just going to give up on you and deem it hopeless. Not until I’ve judged your sins and decided if I forgive them or not.”

“Eh? Does that mean you’ll always keep an eye on me?”

“What? Well, it’s my duty after all.”

At this point Mahiru has difficulty containing her excitement and vocalizes it for the second time. Unlike Haruka who attempts to contain his excitement within his first voice trial but cracks a grin at being being slapped.

“What is it?!”

“My heart skipped a beat.”

“Just what on earth are you saying?”

“I… guess I love people who are enthusiastic about their work.”

“You- you’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

“Ah, this isn’t good! Be careful, okay. Um…um... If you’re that kind to me, you could die as well. Just- kidding..?”

“I wasn’t trying to be kind to you or anything like that. From the start I’ve just downright haven’t understood a thing you’ve said. However, rest assured, I promise no matter what you do, what you think, I won’t die.”

This gets another audible display of excitement or joy out of Mahiru.

“Because I’m Milgram’s prison guard-that’s why.”

Mahiru can no longer contain her excitement and gets up from her chair as we can hear her shoes clack against the floor a few steps before the song extraction machine whirs to life it’s bell ringing startling her from her movement and causing her to ask,

“Wha-what is this? Is it because my love exploded?”

“No, it’s the end of the interrogation- Goodness sake… things never go as planned, do they? With you prisoners I mean.”

Then Es explains, “The personal experiences I see how true to life the videos are, and the degree of abstraction that all depends on the person. It may even depend on how each of you perceives your own sin.”

This has nothing to do with Mahiru just wanted to point it out again given the new trials and me seeing some statements about how prisoners can’t lie in their videos because this expressly told us that they can it just depends on the person. They can lie in their videos if they want to. It’s their fucking minds making them. It makes sense that the videos would be impacted by their beliefs, interests, or how they view their actions.

It all comes down to how they personally view it and what they think is important at that moment. This is why Mikoto’s was so jarring from the start because unlike the other prisoners who know exactly why they’re here he’s not conscious of what he did wrong. So, he can’t dress it up well because he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be dressing up. We see everyone else do this to an extent throughout trial one.

Like it’s so fucked up that anyone is even going the prisoners can’t lie in their songs or dress thing up at all. Like yeah Shidou’s victim was the flower person, Kazui didn’t destroy a relationship he really only broke a vase, Yuno didn’t get an abortion she popped a balloon, Mu was really trapped in that hourglass, and Futa wasn’t on twitter he was actually the protagonist of an isekai stuck in a video game world where he was really fighting level bosses, and Haruka is from the crayon version of chalkzone.

Then like one of my friends keeps saying Mikoto didn’t kill more than one person he just teleported behind the guy at the beginning of MeMe who ran under the underpass got hit with a bat from behind then is somehow still the victim we see crawling on the ground because the video can’t lie so Mikoto must just have VIP access to the fucking backrooms. Fuck it Kotoko didn’t jump two different people she kicked that guy in the alley in the face so hard he had to get reconstructive facial surgery then he became a child abductor then she had to hunt him down again and put a stop to him for good. Amane wasn’t in a cult unless you consider the cult of popularity one she was actually a child actress on a well know public access show in Japan who was complicit with the death of one of her fellow child actors who got an onset injury as a result of her parents religious belief not to give people medical help and the punishment she received after the first time she did it. The next person that got hurt she just watched them die and that’s why she’s here.

Nobody did anything wrong there’s no victims here except victims of circumstance as far as the eye can see. Except for Mikoto who under this idea is just a god who can bend reality and not only didn’t need to work at that job but just really didn’t need to resort to murder at any point either. If this were the case at that point he could’ve robbed a bank. So, I guess he’s guilty everybody else though can go home.

The extent people will go just to try to prove one thing even when it’s notably false and has been stated to be so from the beginning is wild. Like no they can also lie in the videos no one ever said they couldn’t in fact the exact opposite was said. This can also lead to them making themselves look worse like in the case of Mikoto, Haruka, and Mu’s. Usually as a reaction to if they feel their interrogation went poorly. Because they go directly into the machine after the interrogation and that will be the freshest experience on their mind which will of course impact the video extracted.

Back to Mahiru. Yeah, I gotta admit that is weird but she’s not the first prisoner to behave in this matter when it comes to enjoying being watched or controlled. That would be Haruka yet I don’t see people saying he was flirting with Es when that happened. In fact another character even calls Haruka’s response to being slapped kinky but most overlook that. Even though at this point that’s clearly what it is since he is deriving pleasure from pain and being controlled.

So, if we want to put some sexual or flirtatious spin on Mahiru’s behavior that rightfully stands for Haruka as well. Just because she’s older than him doesn’t mean all of her actions are subject to sexual scrutiny but his aren’t. He’s seventeen according to him when he was brought to Milgram and as of 2023 with the continued celebrating of birthdays implying aging is still very much a thing within Milgram he’d be twenty going on twenty-one in June because he had a birthday after being brought to Milgram.

Like this may be an assumption on my part but I thought since we were celebrating birthdays they were aging. I did assume they weren’t celebrating birthdays for nothing. Like I don’t think they’re in stasis because Shidou and Mikoto are notably still aging both of their hair has grown out and everything. It even appears as though Amane has gotten taller because even slouched down, knees bent in her season two art she seems to be above the height she was at incarceration.

Something that subtly calls attention to this idea is the interaction Haruka has on Mikoto's birthday last year.

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……?

Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……?

Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly……

Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself…… haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

Outside of taking into consideration they are aging while in Milgram. A lot of people who are seventeen do have sexual relationships, some even have them younger than that. Most of the male friends I've had have told me they’re first sexual relationship/experience was before the end of middle school. So, in fairness if this is going to be something interrogated for Mahiru it’s only right that Haruka’s behavior is interrogated as well.

Like, I’m not saying this is a bad point to consider. I am however saying consider it for each prisoner who was acting in this way instead of just dogpiling on one because Haruka’s behavior was also suspicious and continues to be so. Yet, I understand how pointing out Haruka’s flaws when it comes to this can seem like shifting the topic and like whataboutism.

So, when it comes to Mahiru behaving in this way at the end of her interrogation I think it’s weird but not out of character for her. Mahiru never tells Es that what she values the most is love. Because it’s not what she values the most, at least it’s not what I think she values the most. What she values the most throughout her first trial interrogation isn’t love but being understood and understanding the person she loves.

Not just wanting to put in the effort to understand them but them doing the same when it comes to understanding her.

The thing she’s interested in is having people pay attention to her. Like really pay attention to her and not just go on about themselves. This is why I think she gets overly excited when Es says they aren’t just going to stop trying to get to know her just because they can’t understand her immediately. That’s why she immediately goes something’s wrong with me right you can’t understand me right? Just to then go wait don’t say things like that when Es earnestly states I don’t get it right now but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try to because it’s his job after all.

Getting to know them, seeing their sins, judging them, that’s what the guard of Milgram is meant to do. It’s the exact opposite of Mikoto who’s like I would hate for someone to be watching me. Milgram is separated on another level outside of maturity. Those who want to be watched, those that don’t, and ones who seem indifferent.

Those who want to be watched: Kazui (Wants to be viewed as guilty), Shidou (Wants to be viewed as guilty), Futa (Wants to be viewed as Innocent), Mu (Wants to be viewed as Innocent), Haruka (Wants to be viewed as Innocent or Guilty or just fawned over by someone???), Mahiru (Wants to be viewed as Innocent to the point she cold opened with if you can’t forgive me I’d rather die.)

Those Who Don’t: Yuno (Has stated she doesn’t want our opinion in three different ways), Amane (Don’t judge me and I won’t judge you but if you do agree we could work together), Kotoko (Would rather be a team because it’s easier if we agree but doesn’t seem against the idea of taking action on her own), Mikoto (Literally hostile/defensive towards being perceived and has been since Milgram started.)

Though this goes back into the discussion on attachment above at this point and how Mahiru wants closeness but is afraid of what will happen if she gets to close.

Mahiru even pulls the same thing we see her do in her first interrogation with Es on Futa. Pulling him into her pace with ease and the only ones to call her out for this and meet her where she’s at is someone she says has cheater energy, Shidou, and Kazui who thanks her for her hard work when it comes to keeping the atmosphere light which she plays off like no, no I do this because I want to.

Which should sound rather familiar.

20/06/29

Yuno: ……mmm, the food here is pretty nice. I wonder if the guard made it…… Oh yeah, Mahiru-san, do you cook?

Mahiru: Hm? I do~ Cooking, washing, cleaning, I love doing all those sorts of things~ Fufufu, I passed all my self-imposed training to become the perfect wife with flying colours!

Yuno: Wow, incredible… I don’t know whether to call that old-fashioned or what. ……isn’t it a pain?

Mahiru: Eh~? I don’t think it’s a pain at all~ It’s fun~

This sort of behavior is something her and Mikoto have in common since they’re rather quick talkers moving from one point to another like that. This may be why she dislikes him a little bit even though she’s accepted the nickname. It can be incredibly difficult for two people with the same communication habits to get along because most of the time one will end up speaking over the other. Basically Mikoto and Mahiru seem like the type to be a bit more interested in learning about others and move away from discussing themselves. Usually holding themselves back because they believe they’re talking too much or turning the topic to the other person when they don’t want to discuss themselves.

They’ll give a little information about themselves but they both have it in their heads well I’ve told you this now can you answer x for me. It’s a social transaction. Best example of this with Mikoto is his interaction with Shidou.

20/06/20

Mikoto: ……oh, so you are here after all. Shidou-san, are you free? Let’s chat~

Shidou: ! Ah, just give me a moment…… Um…… I don’t mind talking, but you didn’t need to come over while I was smoking. Are you sure it isn’t too smoky for you? You’re not a smoker, right, Kayano-kun?

Mikoto: Ah, you don’t need to put it out! That’d be such a waste! I smoke too occasionally. Though just vape. Like, the smoking room is a really good spot for communication, right? So, I thought now might be a good opportunity to talk with you. Not like I have anything else to do.

By the way, I’ve been wondering for a while, but do you always wear those gloves?

Shidou: I don’t…… How to put it…… I suppose…… since I have my hands covered all the time, then when I take them off, it feels as though the feeling in my fingertips is even greater…… I know it’s probably all in my head…… but that’s how it feels.

It’s not exactly an insidious thing to do and I’d like to say it’s a very common thing amongst people in my age group. Though it’s more honest to say I do it a lot myself. Where you’ll tell someone trivial information that’s common for most folks and then ask something you were interested in knowing about them. Something not as common but specific to who they are. It’s kind of difficult to deal with people who communicate like that or be someone who communicates in that way.

Because eventually people they talk to will come up and go hm I don’t really know much about you what do you like exactly without realizing maybe that was intentional. There’s a difference between subjective truths and objective facts is my point here.

Mahiru even attempts to do something similar to what Mikoto did there with Shidou to him. This situation highlights how Mahriu uses the topic of romance as a sort of conversational crutch and how Es isn’t the only person she does so with. After their somewhat rocky introduction, Mahiru goes out of her way to create a sleepover environment, orders specific futons, invites Mikoto and Kazui all just to roll over as they’re meant to be sleeping to Mikoto specifically and say,

“Hey… Did you fall asleep already? Is there a person you like?”

To Mikoto’s visual discomfort as he goes, “No…but… What is going on here?”

Like the entire minigram makes it seem like Mahiru sprung this on Mikoto and Kazui was an accomplice. Mahiru admits to planning it even down to ordering specific futons. Kazui being the third person here, one of the people Mikoto is comfortable with because well he has a nickname, they smoke together with Shidou, and no kids being present. Or even any other girls despite Mahiru claiming this is the perfect environment for girl talk she's the only one there to our knowledge I guess I don't know how Kazui and Mikoto identify I suppose they could be fluid which diversity win??? We're not gonna go into that here. The point is they're male presenting.

Mahiru didn’t invite any female presenting prisoners or the one canonically cis one Mu. I still can't believe I can say that now. Instead she invited Mikoto who probably showed up because well it’s Kazu and Mappi. So, it should be fine then she does this. It's giving the same energy as Mikoto going oh Shidou is smoking good chance to talk to him and break the ice except instead of waiting for the chance Mahiru just creates it.

Something we’re shown she has a habit of doing in This Is How To Be In Love With You,

She has misgivings about Mikoto. Has claimed he has cheater energy but is still trying to break the ice and relate to him by discussing a topic she enjoys romance. This is also one of the rare moments we see Mikoto get annoyed or put off. Responding to Mahiru with,

“So, you made it into that sort of situation? That’s why- you wrote futons on the supply list. I was surprised you were able to change the bedding.”/ “Poor Guard-kun.”

To the point Kazui has to break in and be like,

“Don’t criticize Mahiru too much the place and atmosphere is very important when it comes to discussing certain things. Hmm, not sure if I have any girl talk material. How about a story of a messy love triangle from the place I used to work at?”

Which elicits this response, “You old man…”

Really displaying the closeness and mutual understanding between most of the older inmates. It gives that vibe of the kids are asleep let’s talk shit as Mikoto is there like how did I get dragged into this if I knew it was this sort of thing I would’ve went back to my cell. As if they knew each other outside of Milgram they'd probably all go drinking together.

Mahiru actively invites people she considers her peers maturity wise to this. Yuno isn’t here, Mu isn’t, Kotoko isn’t none of the girls close to her age just Mikoto a guy a year older than her and Kazui the thirty-nine-year-old. Despite that, I’ve rarely if ever seen anyone say she was flirting with Mikoto here. Because we know she isn’t because she’s complained about him saying he has cheater energy.

I really don't understand how presuming she’s flirting with the fifteen-year-old in her interrogation is somehow easier to conclude but hey we are laying next to each other, about to sleep right besides each other, and I'm asking if you have someone you like this is clearly platonic though. No one said shit about that. Again, I understand how she could come off that way. However, given all the people she’s spoken to about romance in a somewhat flirtatious way to only highlight the interrogation with Es seems like cherry-picking to me.

Milgram does a good job of highlighting the various maturity levels of the characters as they communicate with each other. Showing to me that there’s a high chance the most mature people within the prison would be as follows Kazui, Mahiru, Mikoto, Yuno, then Shidou. Yes, Yuno is before Shidou. Because she’s called Mikoto and Mahiru both out on their people pleasing antics and is the one to step up and focus on the mood when Mahiru and Mikoto were put out of commission by their verdicts even if she says she doesn’t like to be bothered.

Shidou is also just more likely to let kids walk all over him given his experiences and can come off as though he’s talking down to those younger than him instead of with them which is kind of immature in my book. I think one of the points of being a “proper adult” should be being able to talk to people younger or older than oneself like their people not idiots, or someone who are beneath you usually meeting them where they’re at and reading the atmosphere. Everyone on the list I made up there has shown themselves to be good at that to varying degrees.

This is also why Kotoko and Futa aren’t on this list because they can’t do that at all. Sure, they think they’re being mature…. Anyone that’s actually mature or has had to take responsibility for others will get annoyed with their shit and try to sort out their behavior through communicating with them or avoiding them. Like Mikoto on Kotoko’s birthday. He doesn’t just talk to her because he’s nice.

His behavior could also be interpreted as him going this is a problem child, who has lashed out once already but directly confronting the issue like he did with Futa is something he recognizes won’t lead to her reflecting on her behavior- Because Kotoko is under the belief that she’s doing what the guard wants her to. The guard has already voted him guilty and made him into a bad guy in her eyes him stating her behavior is wrong could be taken as validating it’s right because why should she care about what a guilty person says.

That’ll just get her to fight him so he tries the nice way, the prisoners can’t physically fight each other now that the guard is awake so let’s try to call a truce for now and discuss exactly what her issue is during this time. She’s still younger than me so it’s up to me to be the mature and bigger person as an adult. Because twenty would be a child to a twenty-three-year-old with a job just as eighteen or twenty would be a child to a twenty-two-year-old. Hence why Mahiru invites Kazui and Mikoto to this girl talk sleepover but not any of the other girls.

I don’t really think anyone would be surprised by how many people above the age of twenty-one consider twenty and twenty-one too young or still a kid where I live. It’s basically everyone I know. Though most twenty- and twenty-one-year-olds are like I’m just like you I’m in my twenties I’m an adult I can drink and honestly like uh huh yeah they are but for the most part only legally… We’ve seen Milgram mess around with this concept with how Futa reacts to Yuno playing children games her little brother liked.

For a good deal of people, a lot of a person’s early twenties is just pretending to be mature and trying to distance oneself from childish things which can lead to people being more immature and sort of closeminded. Kind of the I could never be wrong age for people who never really went through that much before finishing high school. Admittedly I was more in Yuno or Mikoto’s boat mindset wise before graduating high school. So, I already had a heavy focus on reading the atmosphere due to certain experiences I had up until that point.

Though with characters like Futa and Kotoko they both seem to have not really experienced much of the things they dislike about society. Which makes it easier for people who have experienced stuff like that to hate them because their activism/help comes off as self-indulgent performative nonsense to anyone who’s dealt with societal struggles.

Mikoto and Mahiru usually give objective facts about themselves and tend to keep away from subjective truths unless put under a considerable amount of stress.

22/01/17 (Mahiru’s Birthday)

Mahiru: My birthday…… the day I was born…… But was there really any reason for me being born? Lately I’ve started to wonder that. Do you ever think about stuff like that, Yuno-chan?

Yuno: Eh? Not really. I mean, Mahiru-san, you’re really the romantic type, right? Not that I have anything against that. But isn’t it a bit much to think that everything in life has a meaning? If it makes you happy to think like that then go ahead, but if it doesn’t, then isn’t that in itself meaningless?

Mahiru: : ……you might be right. I’ve always just lived my life like this, so I don’t really know.

Yuno: We’ve all just gone through a bunch of things in life that happened to lead us here. It’s nothing more than a coincidence. Definitely not fate or anything. Probably. Even if there isn’t a meaning, you can still be happy that it’s your birthday. That sort of thing’s all you need in life really. So happy birthday, Mahiru-san.

21/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Mikoto: ……ah, Futa? What’s up? Did you come to celebrate my birthday?

Futa: Hah!? Like I care about your birthday. ……what’s up with you, though, you’re usually a lot more excited. I thought you were the sort of idiot who’d make a big deal over your birthday.

Mikoto: Yeah, usually that’d be the case. ……I think I must be getting tired. It’s like I’m anxious over something but I can’t really explain what it is…… Like, the feeling that I’ve been totally wrong about something. Haha, but it’s not like talking to you about it is gonna do anything.

Futa: Yeah, yeah, just like you say. Talking to me about it isn’t gonna help. ……but, it’s not like I don’t get what you’re saying. Or rather, I understand exactly what you mean. And if it’s the same thing as I’ve been feeling, then it will just get stronger as time goes on…… probably. But anyway, rather than talking to someone like me you should go and bother the others. Go and get showered with their stupid birthday wishes.

When they do, they’re usually the ones to quickly shut themselves down. Either asking someone else what they think or going well what use is talking about it gonna do. Because they both seem to be people who tend to want to handle their issues themselves or not worry others. Not to call out everyone but that’s a very common thing amongst people in their age range when Milgram started.

Yet, it is kind of adorable how Mahiru attempts to catch Mikoto off guard by discussing romance stuff with him something he may not have much of a grasp of but she could discuss all day when Kazui, Mikoto and her are having that little sleep over. During her first interrogation even when Mahiru brings up Es being in the height of their adolescence or the springtime of youth. That's mostly due to her interest in shoujo manga where the protagonists of that tend to be around Es' age. So, even that's not that weird when considered fully.

What I'm getting at here is there are other explanations for all the characters actions that can put them in a more negative or positive light. However, I feel if one thing is going to be interrogated with one prisoner it's only fair to interrogate the same thing with others. Since a lot of the prisoners have acted in ways that can be perceived as inappropriate towards Es and it's odd to only single out Mahiru in this regard.

#milgram #shina mahiru #this is really long

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rebelrobin86 · 2 years ago

Text

Platonic Stobin Month

(Prompt list by @lesbianancyy)

Part 1

1999 (My intro)

Robin and Steve were wearing fancy suits, sitting on the floor of an elevator. Steve groaned. "We're missing the wedding, because we're stuck in a stupid elevator!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have panicked and pushed every button like 100 times!"

"At least it's not the Russian Elevator, could be worse. It's crazy, if I never took that job at Scoops Ahoy, we wouldn't be here right now."

"You think you'd be sitting here with some other shmuck? Do you remember meeting me at all before Hawkins High?" Robin asked, Steve looked confused.

"I know it was never something we really talked about, but I still remember."

Alternate Meeting (Robin)

"I had just had soccer practise. The goalie Beth Wildfire said there's no way a klutz like me would ever stay on the team."

"The one who's bone came out of her knee?" Steve laughed seeing the irony.

"Yeah it was before then. The girls were all having this stupid sleepover, that I didn't even really want to go to, but I was the only one not invited. I had a crumpled dollar in my pocket, then went into Benny's Burgers for fries, but it wasn't enough."

"That sucks."

"Yeah well I was about to go home, but then you recognised me from middle school, you invited me over to sit with you and your friends." Robin smiled. "You yelled at Tommy for saying girls can't play soccer, then we went outside. I stole almost all your fries before going home."

Steve laughed. "I always wondered who fry girl was. She was a lot more interesting than my other friends. I started to question if she was even real or if I made her up."

"You never know I could be your imaginary friend, I might still be." Robin teased.

Snow (Steve)

"Speaking of imaginary, you remember the Snowmogorgon?" Steve asked.

"Yeah?" Robin laughed.

"That was crazy. The kids were playing D&D and we told them about the snow and this Demogorgon snowman. The Snowmogorgon, that was this big scary monster they had to defeat. Do you think they thought it was real?"

"I don't think so, which I don't get because the Demogorgon was real, but a snowman monster is too unrealistic. We definitely are the best monster fighters."

90s (Robin)

"Do you think Buffy The Vampire Slayer could have taken on Vecna or the Mind Flayer? A Demogorgon could be easy for her if she lit one of those stakes on fire."

"I don't know Rob." Steve replied. "Buffy's a Vampire Slayer, the closest we had to vampires was the Demobats."

"Yeah but she's fought so many other demons and monsters, not just vampires. We'll have to ask Max, it was her favourite show." Robin shrugged.

"I'm just glad, Max is over her Scream phase. I hated when she wore her Ghostface mask everywhere and called us to ask what our favourite scary movies were in that voice."

"Oh like." Robin imitated the voice "What's your favourite scary movie?"

"Never do that again." Steve laughed.

Friendship Jewellery (Steve)

Steve looked down at the rainbow bracelet he was wearing, then looked at Robin's matching bracelet.

"You think we'll have to take these off before the wedding?" Steve asked.

"No. We can't ever take these off, best friends for life. The nuggets will know."

"You're always going to call my daughters nuggets now? I did ask for it when I told you I dreamt about 6 little nuggets, 4 more to go." Steve smiled. "They were so happy making the bracelets for us."

"I never thought me and Steve Harrington would wear friendship bracelets, but I can't say no to them, they're too adorable."

Monster/Ghost Hunters (Robin)

"They do love when Auntie Robin comes over to play with them." Steve smiled. "It's not easy explaining you're here for me and not them."

"Shut up! Of course I'm there for the girls. It's fun playing Monster Hunters with them." Robin laughed. "Running around the house with pretend shot guns and molotov cocktails and blasting Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush to defeat the monster."

"I don't really like that game. Not because of what happened, but Max has played that song to death! Always." Steve starts singing in a muppet voice "Be Running up that road, be Running up that hill, be running up that building!"

"Why did Tammy Thompson sing it?" Robin laughed. "No I love the song, not just because it saved our friends life, but how much it annoys you when me and the munchkins play it."

Worms (Steve)

Steve pulls out a pack of gummy worms candy from his pocket, then starts eating them. "I just remembered I had these."

"Gummy Worms!" Robin excitedly took a handful of the gummy worms and started eating them. "Thanks Steve."

"They were Henderson's, but he's not in the elevator right now."

Scoops Ahoy (Robin)

"Do you remember my board at Scoops Ahoy, you rule, you suck? I wish I still had that. This might be a first for the you rule column." Robin laughed. "We may be stuck here, but you got us candy."

Confession (Steve)

"Robin. I have a confession to make about Scoops Ahoy." Steve said.

"What?"

"You know when I told Dustin not to lick my scooper, before you got us the map."

"Steve, I saw you lick the scooper. I just never said anything because it wasn't my scooper. I'm sure you had more free samples than Erica."

"Yeah probably." Steve laughed. "The USS Butterscotch was out of this world!"

Outfit swap (Robin)

"Do you remember when we were bored, we swapped uniforms and name tags at work?" Robin asked.

"Yeah a lot of customers didn't question why my name tag said Robin, but you got a lot of strange looks."

"You don't think I look like a Steve?"

"Definitely not. You need to be a lot cooler to pull off a name like mine."

"Hey!" Robin laughed, playfully pushing him.

Double Date (Steve)

"After the wedding. Do you want to go on a double date? Just us four." Steve asked.

"Yeah and we can eat something better than gummy worms." Robin rambled. "Not that gummy worms aren't good, but I don't think Nancy would like them or your wife either. Our ladies have fancy tastes."

"I could've gone for a Mcdonalds or KFC, but you're probably right. We'll save that for another time, but for now boothes and waiters. If you're interested?"

"Yeah it will be fun, if we ever get out of this elevator!"

#stobin month #robin buckley #steve harrington #platonic stobin #stranger things #scoops ahoy

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mumutee · 11 months ago

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kandadiff · 2 years ago

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Doin' Time (2)

~~~

Let me tell the gist of the beginning of the story. Basically from 1970-1999 the government was using mutants / superpowered people to try and get an upper hand on the Cold War. When the government found out Russia was making super soldiers. The three of us were hired in the early 1990s to investigate this and destroy the mutants. After we found them we discovered most of them were there against there will and were just experimented lab rats. Here we met Katya.

We refused to destroy them so we were considered traitors and they tried to kill us. They soon realized they could not do that since we were too strong together so they got a magic user to make us forget each other and our powers. In an attempt to stop them, I countered saying as long as we forget each other - everyone will forget us as well. Durning this draven operated the both of you from me and then from each other. The spell worked partly but not before I killed the traitor and he drove a holy dagger into my heart temporarily stopping me. I forgot less then the two of you.

Unfortunately, due to the spell not only did the government forget us but humans or just mutant humans like Marky Mark and few of the others we were close with only have vague memories of us.

~~~ January 31st : present day Philadelphia, PA ~~~

“Holy shit!” One of the grave robbers exclaimed when they saw the body. “This is gross, man I’m not grabbing anything from here.” The body before them was a mess of bugs, muscle and bones. The younger one keeled over, nauseous at the sight. His older brother yanked him harshly on the arm pulling him away from the body.

“Get your shit together.” He barked at him. “We don’t have a lot of time!” He kicked his brother away from the casket, splintering himself on the cheap wood, it was made for people who either were poor or were unknown. He almost turned away but the lack of prizes in his knapsack kept him going. Maybe the body would have jewelry. He cursed under his breath, using the crowbar to fully undo the casket. They didn’t have a lot of time. This cemetery would be crowded with grave diggers moving the bodies in the morning to a new location and construction workers would be paving it over for a new building. They had to work now and fast.

He braced the surgical mask over his face ready for the stench that never came. He pushed the oddity from his mind and scanned over the body looking for anything they could take. “What the?” A jewel encrusted jeweled dagger was stuck between the rib bones of the body. His hands ran over it carefully, his fingers gliding over the precious stones. A smirk came over his face when he realized they were real, he yanked it out of the body and turned triumphantly to his brother, thrusting the dagger at him. “Look!”

A cold gust of wind chilled the cemetery as the pile of muscles and bone quickly formed back together. The two men oblivious to the fact that the body in the casket was looking more and more like a person instead they debated how much the enchanted dagger would get them at the pawn shop. My entire body felt like it was thawing from a long time in the freezer, feeling came back slowly in my fingers and toes first shooting up to my arms and legs. I could feel the clothes I was wearing in 1990 stylish then, now raggedy with age. My eyes once over white came back and I could see nothing but stars in the night sky. I opened my mouth and air rushed into my lungs so suddenly I gasped loudly. The men to preoccupied with there score didn’t hear me. My hearing came next, I heard one of the foolish men exclaim “what else does she have?”

I felt my heart beating in my chest as the younger brother peered over the wood of the casket and let out a shriek. I sat up as quickly as I could, my bones still not used to moving in the past …. I was unsure how many years? How long has I been locked in that tomb?

“Stop being a fucking baby!” The older brother scolded his back to me. The younger one looking up at me horrified as a puddle formed in his pants. “Donny! Did you fucking piss yourself?!”

“S-s-she’s alive!” He cried out a pudgy finger pointing directly at me. His brother not believing him at all, turned to me. His eyes quickly widening when he saw me looking back at him. “She’s a fucking vampire!” He screamed both of the men scrambling over each other dropping whatever they had managed to steal in the meantime. I stood up on shaky legs and climbed out of the casket.

“Wait!” I called out. My voice horse with lack of use.

“Help!” The younger one screamed but his brother clamped his hand over his mouth.

“You idiot! We’re stealing! No one is going to help us!” He shouted and grabbed the handle of a nearby shovel breaking it over his knee. The wood splintering off into a point. He lunged at me and I stumbled back. “Fuck you! You vampire bitch!”

“I’m not a vampire!” I spat at him, a moth falling from my mouth. I gasped leaping back from the bug and realized I was still covered in them. “Help me!” I pleaded but he lunged at me again barely missing me.

“I’m calling the cops!” The younger one shouted still on the ground. He fumbled with his phone and with shaky hands found it hard to even unlock it.

“I’m going to kill you bitch!” The man with the makeshift stake yelled at me. He lunged at me aiming for my chest, I moved my wrapped my hands over my chest and the wood stuck painfully into my arm. He went to lunge at me again.

“Stop!” I order throwing my hands down sharply. The wind around us once again plummeted and with two quick snaps the men’s necks twisted so suddenly it shocked me. Both men fell on the ground there necks twisted unnaturally, blood spilling from there mouths.

I looked down at my hands and then at the fallen screen the man called his phone. I tapped at the screen, a picture of a naked girl as the screen saver. I scowled my eyes drifting to the date.

January 31st 2023. I cold washed over me I had been buried for nearly 24 years. The thought made me sick and I couldn’t contain my nausea. I threw up bugs and whatever else was in that casket all over the oldest of the men and sat next to the men trying to think of my next move.

I sat there for maybe an hour, maybe more and dug through the men’s pockets, they had about a $100 between the two of them and dagger they removed from me. I left the cemetery and right into a police officer.

~~~ February 2nd Present Day Jersey City, New Jersey ~~~

The quiet stillness of her jersey apartment would normally be a blessing but right now it felt like nothing but a curse. Draven sat by the open window, the smoke from her cigarette floating out and away from her. She wished she could follow out after it. The lack of Francisco’s persuasive power invading her head could not even comfort her right now, no matter how much she wanted to celebrate it. He had spent the last 4 years invading her mind, intruding on all the thoughts she ever had making her fall in love with him against what she wanted. He used her powers strength for his own gain masquerading it as for the betterment of there lives. When his powers started to wane over her she felt free again. And she left him. He found her because of course he did, he spent every waking hour in her head, he knew her next move and he found her.

She was unwilling to be his victim again and when he cornered her in the alleyway by her apartment she snapped. The peace she was briefly given from when she squished his head into a mess of muscles and bone faded as soon as she saw a man watching her in awe. In an attempt to get away she threw Francisco’s limp body at the man and ran up into her apartment until her lungs felt like they were going to burst. But she knew that that man saw her. She had seen him a couple of times around the building. He knew where she lived and she knew the police would come for her.

So she waiting by the window with her cigarette to calm her nerves. When there was a knock on the door she put out her cigarette and looked down at her scraped up hands, Cut from squishing Francisco’s skull, and took a deep breathe. “Come in.”

The man who saw what she did entered her small apartment. He wore gloves on his hands and a thick coat around his body. For a moment they didn’t speak, both sizing each other up. “He got into your head, didn’t he?” The question took her off guard and she stood up and shrugged in response. “I thought so.”

“What do you want?” She asked eyeing the door. Did he come alone? Or was the cops waiting for her just outside?

“They’ll be after you soon, I can help you.”

“I don’t need help.” Draven said quickly “help means I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I’m not.”

“I know” he said softly. “I’ve been keeping an eye on Francisco for a while. I lost him for a bit but he couldn’t stay away from you. What he did to you, he did to someone in my family too.” Draven said nothing to this confession but relaxed slightly. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said “I’m like you.” She cocked an eyebrow and the stranger pulled up his sleeve revealing a type of electronic bug attached - no embedded into his arm. Her eyes followed him closely and he pressed the bug wincing as he did so. All of a sudden, the mechanical bug grew on his arm surrounding it in a cylinder and then creating a makeshift cannon where his arm was just a minute prior.

“What the fuck?” Draven breathed. The stranger gave her a small smile.

“There are others like you- like us. You’ll be safe there. No one would look for you there.”

She placed the cigarette she was still holding back in her mouth amused. “And if I refuse?” She challenged throwing up her hands as a reminder of what she could do to him. Arm canon or not.

“You don’t have to come.” He said with a shrug. “But you’d be safer there. Maybe get some training learn to deal with it.” Draven mulled it over. He was right. They would be looking for her - Francisco was smart and probably put in a fail safe incase Draven every did anything to him. For all she knew he had the plan for someone to call the police if he didn’t return within a couple of hours. What’s the worse that could happen if she went with this boy? She could take him if he tried anything. She took the cigarette from her mouth and nodded.

“I’ll pack.” The boy nodded watching her walk to the bedroom. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Namjoon Kim.”

~~February 3rd : Present day Westchester NY ~

The happy birthday decorations around you felt so forced. The colorful happy birthday banner splashed against the white of the cafeteria tiled walls. The balloons hung from every corner of the room, in pastels of your favorite colors and streamers hung in the spots that weren't filled with balloons. Your classmates and teachers gathered around you singing happy birthday while Taron, your boyfriend (if you can call him that), brought the baby pink frosted cake filled with burning candles and a sweet sign that said 'Happy Birthday!'.

Your shifted uncomfortably at everyones eyes on you, your eyes tinted brown with annoyance but you slapped on your best smile and tried to hide it. After all it wasn't there fault, it was Wades (Deadpool). you were surprised that he was able to send you a birthday card from the prison he was in but you still smiled when you received it. That was until you realized that the headmistress read the mail coming in and in an attempt to get you to open up more she threw this impromptu birthday party.

You had only been in the school for about 2 months and in that time you hadn't gotten to know many people. Maybe thats how Taron and you 'got together'. You looked at his smiling face as he placed the cake down in front of you. He was doing his very best to make you feel as welcome as possible but you still felt lonely. You used to have Wade until he was arrested and you were given the choice to come here or go to prison. It was an easy choice at the time but now here you were just bored and lonely. You had a few friends but since you came in the middle of the school year - you were treated like the new girl and looked at as more of a tourist attraction rather then a person. Plus, you were behind in the training since you were still unsure of all your powers. You met Wade only about 4 years ago when he says he found you working in a bar and while he physically trained you to work with him - you only discovered your powers about 2 years ago.

"I think I speak for everyone who knows Adi" Taron said pulling you out of your thoughts. You looked up at him, the fake smile on your face getting wider. The smoke from the candles billowing up and making your eyes sting. "She might be new but she is like a shining star in our little school." You heard a few scoff and you knew by now your eyes were fully brown. Looking at the snickering girls towards the edge of the crowd. "I am happier to have met her and we as a whole are lucky to have her here. Happy birthday!" Cheers filled the air around you.

You blew out the candles, puffs of gray smoke circling in the air around you while claps echoed in the large cafeteria. You gave a fake smile until gasps around you were heard. "The banner!" someone shouted and you quickly turned around. The Happy Birthday Banner now yellowing from the fire that seemingly started out of no where. Your eyes instantly shot to Emma, her red lips curled up into a smirk.

"Miss Roberts!" Mr. Rosenthal chastised her as you watched another student put out the flames. In the few months you were here, Emma had it out for you. You weren't sure why and you didn't care - you didn't like her. But instead of retaliating you just wanted to head back into your dorm room and be away from all these people with their fake smiles and faux interest in you. You pushed the cake away from you so Mr. Rosenthal could cut pieces for all the faces looking at it greedily

"I got you something!" You heard next to you. Well maybe you didn't want to get away from everybody. Looking to your side you saw Jackson and the boys he considered his family all holding various boxes wrapped in multicolored paper. He excitedly took a seat next to you shoving present that was very obviously a skateboard in your hand. Unwrapping it you saw that it wasn't only a skateboard though there was one. It also had a box with a beautiful diamond necklace wrapped around the wheel. Bam bam had gotten you a bottle of your favorite liquor, JB a record player, Yugyeom - a purse you pointed out in the mall, Mark a teddy bear and Youngjae a box of sugar cookies. You thanked them all with a hug.Jessie, one of your only girl friends, shoved her away to you handing you a bottle of perfume you also pointed out in your mall visit.

However, Katya probably the person you were the absolute closest to here slid next to you with a plate of cake in one hand, a spoon in her mouth and an envelope in her hand. She shoved it in your hand and whooshed the other boys away. "Move, it is a present for her not you!" You giggled and opened the envelope seeing two tickets to a rave on the following weekend. "We're going to sneak out!" she whispered to you "Happy Birthday!"

~~~

Jackson woke you up bright an early to ‘try out’ all your birthday presents. By the time early afternoon hit you were exhausted and was grateful that you came at an odd time in the year so your three room dorm was just for you. That was until you came home and saw a man sitting on your couch and a girl walking out of the room across from your own.

“I’m not going to leave Mark.” I said with my hand on my hip. Mark was the police officer I ran into and after freaking him out with my power he brought me head while also cleaning up the mess I left in the cemetery and getting met fresh clothes and something to eat. But he did not believe I would stay here considering I didn’t want to come in the first place. “So you can leave.”

“Yeah I’d be more inclined to believe you if you unpack the clothes I got you.” He said lounging and not inclined to go anywhere.” I huffed.

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quotes121sworld · 2 years ago

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slippinmickeys · 2 years ago

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Le Comtesse de Saint-Germain

(TW: major character death)

The basement office was cold, dusty and had a smell redolent of the dry bones of long-dead animals. There were reams of paper, dot-matrix printouts, binders of old expense reports, an antique brass microscope. There were coffee rings on the desk, a paper clip wedged into the roller on one of the drawers, an adjustable date rubber stamp that didn’t go past 1999 sitting in an old styrofoam cup. In one corner, near the floor, a sunflower seed husk had been painted over and was stuck to the wall. A thick layer of dust lay over all.

She moved into the room, leaned forward to observe a picture of the two of them that had been tacked to the wall with a pushpin; glossy, moody, the two of them in FBI windbreakers wearing masks of concentration. It captured something peripheral about them, about their relationship, though she couldn’t put her finger on what. She realized how they had once looked to outsiders; they were cliquish, the two of them. Insular and subterranean. They worked best in the dark.

There was a clearing of a throat behind her — the agent who’d let her in had come to collect her. She had called in several favors for the privilege.

“Right,” she said, and picked up her briefcase. It was light and contained a single file which was probably still classified. She was committing a crime by taking it. She paused and turned back, pulled the push pin out and slipped the photo into her pocket.

XxX

“Excuse me,” said a voice, and she was so in her own head that she didn’t register that it was talking to her until it repeated itself. She looked up to see a handsome man smiling at her with brows raised in friendly anticipation.

“I’m sorry?” she said, looking up from where she was standing, somewhat cemented in place in front of the peaches in the produce aisle at her local market. Mulder had said peaches were the only thing that sounded good.

“I’m wondering,” he said somewhat shyly, “if you have any idea how to tell if an avocado is ripe?” She looked at him a little blankly at first, her head still on the fruit in front of her. “I got voluntold to bring guacamole to this party I’m going to tonight, and I haven’t the foggiest idea how to tell if these are ready.”

“I think the premade stuff is over in the deli,” she said, trying to be helpful, but really not wanting to engage.

“I’m trying to defy expectations, here,” he smiled. He was maybe forty, with dusty blond hair and a strong chin. Wide set eyes. His hands were big and tan where they gripped a medium-sized avocado. She took pity on him and shook herself a bit, put on a friendly smile. Overhead the canned sounds of an oldies station blared Vampire Weekend.

“The stems,” she told him.

“The… stems?” he said, looking a little lost.

“Yes,” she said, walking over the few steps to where he stood. She picked up an avocado and levered her thumbnail under the stem. “If you can get your fingernail under the stem and lift it a little, the color underneath it will tell you whether or not it’s ripe. If it’s brown, it’s likely overripe. If it’s green, it should be good. If the stem won’t lift, it’s not ready yet. This one’s okay.” She handed it over to him, and he accepted the fruit, his palm smooth and warm.

“Huh,” the man said, delighted by the information. “Would you look at that!”

She gave him a small smile and turned to go when he reached out and grabbed at her sleeve. Gently, just a little tug. He let go immediately when she paused.

“Thank you,” he said, genuinely. His eyes, she noticed, were a deep brown, and his gaze was soft. He smiled again, a little flirty. “How did you get to be an avocado queen, anyway?”

“Years of experience,” she said ruefully, and then turned away once more.

“Hey,” he said, and she knew his game – tired of it years ago – but he was nice enough. “You look familiar,” he went on. “Did we go to school together by any chance? Bulldogs, class of ‘25?” he finished, giving the air a little punch.

She wanted to outright laugh, but gave him a forgiving smile instead. “Have fun at your party,” she said as she walked away.

XxX

In the hallway outside Mulder’s door, around a blind corner, she almost collided with an older gentleman. When they both regained their footing, she seemed to recover from the surprise of the moment before he did. The man, well into his seventies, with thinning hair and a paunch that hung over his belt, continued to look at her with a kind of mute shock.

“Sir?” she said, reaching out a hand to steady him. He recoiled slightly, his face still registering mild astonishment. Concerned he may be having some kind of cardiac event, Scully bent toward him. “Sir, are you all right?”

“Uh,” he started, shaking his head as if to clear it. “Yes, thank you.”

They both stepped around each other and he gave her one more odd look before continuing on down the hallway and to the elevator.

It only occurred to her as she inserted her key into Mulder’s lock that the man had to have been coming from her old partner’s apartment. Mulder didn’t get many visitors these days, barring her.

“Mulder?” she called once she had closed the door and had set down her suitcase and coat.

“In here,” he called back, and she made her way to the bedroom.

“Hey,” he said to her with a smile when she walked in, scooting up in the bed.

“Hi,” she said, moving to his side to help him adjust the pillows. “How are you feeling?”

“Like the dog’s breakfast,” he said with a smile. She sat down on the bed next to him and ran her fingers through his hair.

“At least you seem happy about it,” she said.

“Nah, I’m just happy to see you,” he said with a sigh. Scully let her fingers linger in his hair for a beat or two and he went on. “Did you get the file?”

“I did.”

“Is it in the bag?”

Scully turned to look at the small paper bag she’d carried in and left on top of the nearby dresser.

“Oh, no.” She turned back to him. “I got you some peaches.”

“Ah. Thank you.”

“Do you feel up to eating?” she asked hopefully.

He shook his head. “Wouldn’t mind seeing the file, though.” He gave her as much of a puppy dog smile he could muster, and she mussed his hair affectionately and stood to get her briefcase from the outer room.

When she came back in, she settled into the chair beside the bed and handed the file over.

“You do know they have digital copies of these Mulder,” she said as he swiped it out of her hands. Getting the file seemed to animate him a bit, and he scooched back in the bed energetically, settling in to read. “They wouldn’t let me sign it out. I had to…” She gestured with her hands, not quite able to bring herself to admit to stealing something out loud.

“Ah, but asking you to commit a felony has always been our thing,” he said, his rapscallion smile bringing about one of her own. “Anyway, I think better when I’ve got something in my hand.”

He opened the file and she watched as his eyes scanned the pages. After a few quiet minutes, she spoke.

“There was someone leaving here when I came in,” she said. Mulder hummed what might have been an affirmation, not looking up from the file. “Who was it?”

He didn’t answer for a long time, eventually setting the file down on his lap. He then turned it slowly toward her and pointed to something on the last page. She stood from the chair and leaned in to look, following his finger with her eye.

Agents of Record, the file read, Dana Scully and Peyton Ritter.

Mulder’s finger stayed on the second name.

“Peyton Ritter,” she read off out loud, and then realization dawned on her. “That was Peyton Ritter in the hallway?” she asked. “Peyton Ritter was just here?”

Mulder nodded silently, his rheumy eyes seeking hers. A low feeling of unease began to wind through her, starting low in her belly where Ritter’s bullet had lodged itself all those years ago.

“Mulder, I’ve been indulging some of your more kooky requests for a while now because you’re-” she fumbled, unable to finish the sentence. From the bed, Mulder gave her a look of tender sympathy, his eyes crinkling with affection. He reached out for her, the skin of his hands liver-spotted and thin as paper. She looked down at her own, smooth as glass, ripe with collagen, and she swallowed thickly, steamrolling ahead. “But you need to tell me right now, why did you want this file? Why was Peyton Ritter here? What are you up to?”

He began coughing before he could answer; deep, rattly hacks. Scully sat forward quickly and grabbed a glass of water that had been sitting on his bedside table, holding it to his lips. Mulder sipped at it and then pushed her hand gently away. The headboard creaked when he leaned back into the pillows.

“Scully,” he said gently, imbuing her name with a thousand different sentiments.

“Mulder, no.” A tear dropped onto her cheek and ran hotly down her skin.

“If I can figure out how Fellig did it-” he started.

“Mulder no!” She stood up quickly, her voice shaky and thin as tissue paper.

“It’s a burden, Scully,” he went on, seeming to have no sympathy for her at all, and yet his every word was suffused with tender understanding. “Your youth–your life will become a burden I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. If I could take it from you… If I could carry it…”

Another series of coughs wracked him and Scully sat back down on the bed, futilely watching his body double over with each seal-like bark. When he finally stopped, he was stooped, his head hanging down, and Scully reached out to pull him to her tightly. She held him there, tears rolling down her cheeks and dropping one by one into his thin white hair.

“I would do anything for you, Scully,” he said, his voice muffled by her body.

“Including living – forever – like this?” she hissed, leaning back so he could sit up, and pointing at him, at his wizened condition.

His smile was weak. “Yes,” he said simply.

He leaned back once again into the pillows. “Being this close to death,” he said, and Scully felt her lower lip wobble with emotion. “There’s a clarity that comes with it. An understanding of what really matters. All the pieces of your life get a bit fuzzy as your focus shifts and narrows.” His eyes softened as they rove over her form. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love,” he quoted to her, his finger touching her hand gently with each of the three words he cited.

She had to look away from him so her heart wouldn’t break right there in front him. Her immortality wasn’t something they talked about often — they had joked about it in their youth, but as the years passed and it became more and more glaringly in their face, she would shut down when he brought it up. She had accepted her fate. She didn’t think she could take it if he refused to.

Everything in the room took on an indelible importance suddenly. The second hand of the clock in the corner snicked the seconds by and she reveled in the warmth of his hand on hers. The way the sun hit the pill bottles next to his bed and turned them a glowing copper. The loose slippers next to the door, one turned on its side to reveal a tread worn down by his supinated step. Dust in a sunbeam. The whistley sound of his breath.

“The greatest of these is love,” she whispered back. He squeezed her hand and released it, flipping the file closed.

“If I can save you, let me,” he said gently.

“I can’t do that,” she said, sticking to their script.

When he fell asleep, she took the file and laid it where he’d be able to reach it. In her pocket, she felt the crinkle of stiff paper. A pinprick hole in the top where it had been stuck to the wall, she pulled out the rumpled old photograph of the two of them, hale and hearty, a remembrance of a time before she stalled out in Death’s blind spot. She set the photo on top of the file.

He died that winter, and she buried him in the spring.

#it’s bad #but it was a demon that needed exorcising #the x-files #fanfic #my fic #angst #possibly triggering

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arch-is-screaming · 2 years ago

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Basil [Another Way to Feel]

Vasilius “Basil” Von Altenstein in the year 1999, conducting a suicidal one-man assault in hopes of rescuing Sunny Suzuki. He has sustained two gunshot wounds (one to the stomach, one to the thigh), two slashes (one in the left arm and one above the ear), one stab in the side of his torso, and was also shot in the face directly beneath the right eye socket—his mask saved him, but bruised the eye itself and led to some bleeding. The blood on his suppressor, hands, mask (the dragging hand, not the small trail from the eye socket), rifle, saber handle, combat knife, pistol, and boot are not his own. By the end of his raid, Basil will have incurred and caused many more injuries than just these.

Basil carries an X4 prototype assault rifle (a more advanced version of an M4, which I completely made up), a complex experimental weapon intended for special forces. It’s ideal for close and medium range combat. He has fitted it with a Russian-made suppressor to quiet the weapon and eliminate muzzle flash, an adjustable laser which can be visible with or without IR, a scope capable of night vision with a CQB sight on top, and two jungle-style 30-round magazines. He carries several other mags for the X4 on him, all of which contain armor-piercing ammunition because he’s going up against a professional, armored force; the magazines have burnt titanium tips for style points preventing glare.

In addition, he has a suppressed USP as a sidearm, an unreliable and tedious (but silent) dart pistol, a breaching shotgun with a folding stock, a ballistic combat knife, a garrote wire wrapped around his hair clips, and a cossack saber (shashka). The USP is fitted with a laser like the X4’s, and the breaching shotgun has a muzzle choke; the shashka is mainly used for cutting away branches, but provides a massive edge (pun retroactively intended) whenever he gets into longer melee engagements.

Basil has several magazines for the USP which also contain AP ammunition, save for two mags on his chest, which are loaded with hollowpoints to take down unarmored resistance he comes across. He has a shotgun slug strap on his pauldron so, if he needs to switch to his shotgun for open combat, he can quickly reload while shouldering it. Darts (all lethal) are kept on his left hip, along with a 100-round drum magazine for the X4. Other weapons of Basil’s include a set of flashbangs on his right hip, smoke grenades on his left hip, and a single frag grenade on his chest.

In terms of equipment, Basil has a multitool, a few chemlights (in hopes of convincing the enemy they are being attacked by multiple people), a pen, and radio for listening in on enemy communications. His most important piece of equipment is the set of quad night vision goggles on his head—experimental and hard to use, but highly effective, and also capable of thermal vision. The pouch he keeps his chemlights on has some first aid supplies inside. He also has a rappel kit and canteen.

In terms of armor, Basil has heavyweight prototype gear capable of tanking multiple rifle rounds while still allowing full mobility and nearly top speed—this is worn over a chest rig and heavy-duty clothing, in and of itself designed to stop shrapnel, bladed weapons, and minimizing the impact of small-caliber bullets. He also has steel-tipped rain boots, fingerless gloves with thick rubber armor over the knuckles, and steel elbow pads. The most standout part of his kit is his state-of-the-art ballistic mask—it has two steel rods on the back to stop his neck from snapping when it’s hit with a high-caliber round, and is capable of stopping shrapnel and pistol (sometimes even rifle) rounds at the cost of broken bones and heavy bruises.

This drawing took me 23 hours. Made for Another Way to Feel, a fanfic I’m writing.

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 4 years ago

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20 WOMEN VOCALISTS IN METAL WHO ARE A DRIVING FORCE FOR THE GENRE

Lzzy Hale

If you haven’t heard of the colossal Halestorm and their show-stealing frontlady Lzzy Hale by now, how’s it been living under that rock? Out here in the real world, both rock and metal have been battling to claim Halestorm and Hale’s presence since the band’s first EP, (Don’t Mess With The) Time Man, in 1999. From the vitriolic masochism of “I Miss The Misery” to the heart-wrenching “Here’s To Us,” Hale’s vocal range reaches each extreme of moving emotion and devastating attitude. We couldn’t pay tribute to Hale without also recognizing her guitar talents. Check the sassy leading line from “Love Bites (So Do I)” as an example of this phenomenal lady’s ability to step beyond musical expression and into aural artistry.

SKYND

True crime has never been more compelling than at the hands of Australian electronic-metal sensation SKYND and their mystifying frontwoman of the same name. Tackling a new real-life mystery with each track, covering the disappearance and mysterious death of “Elisa Lam” and the doomed cult following of “Jim Jones,” SKYND’s haunting vocals tell each tale as if they were acting out in front of you. SKYND’s dedication to her theatrical persona (plus the ability to keep her real identity a secret), her iconic look and the creation of lore around her exposition of real-life crimes is a mystery the metal world may never solve, but perhaps it never should.

Taylor Momsen

Gossip Girl? We don’t know her—we know Taylor Momsen as the sultry tones commanding metal’s sassiest frontrunners the Pretty Reckless. With her gravelly vocals offset by her signature blacked-out eyes and suspenders, Momsen is an all-around powerhouse frontlady who bends all of your stereotypical expectations of a female vocalist. Take the hissing attitude of “Make Me Wanna Die,” the iconic summer anthem through “Messed Up World (F’d Up World),” the doomed “Going To Hell” and the gloriously filthy “My Medicine”—she’s not here for your entertainment, simply to make music in her own inimitable devil-may-care way.

Sharon den Adel

Where symphonic-metal outfits go through vocalists like water, Within Temptation’s Sharon den Adel has held on to her throne at the very beating heart of the genre since 1996. The band that introduced you to the dark side in high school has come a long way from “Angels” and “Our Farewell” to their most recent sensation “The Purge,” but the enduring talents of the angelic den Adel at the helm remain as moving as ever. Whether your heart breaks or races along with the captivating stories told through her cherubic vocals, den Adel’s talents have kept this legendary band alive and relevant for 25 years. We’re hanging on the edge of our seats for a new album.

Amy Lee

Most millennials were introduced to the world of metal through Evanescence’s invasion of radio airtime in the early 2000s, making vocalist Amy Lee an initial encounter in female presence in a heavily male realm. With an unforgettably haunting vocal range that can reach into your chest and pull out your heart with a single note, Lee’s trademark sound has lived in our minds since 2003’s Fallen and has no intention of letting go. From the iconic “Bring Me To Life” to her solo career’s “Speak To Me” and most notably the captivating “My Immortal,” Lee’s inimitable voice of an angel showed metal how to truly capture the mainstream.

Melissa Bonny

You’ve never seen symphonic metal quite like Switzerland’s Ad Infinitum and, consequently, you’ve never seen a frontwoman quite like Melissa Bonny. With her compelling vocals at the helm, each track tells a story steeped in historic struggles and triumphs as the band members each adopt a story of survival during the time of the Black Death in Europe. Every member appears in a plague doctor’s mask except Bonny, commanding the narrative as her show-stopping range transitions from heavenly cleans to venomous screams with ease. Ad Infinitum and Bonny’s towering talents begin an epic quest through the ranks of metal, and nothing will stand in their way.

Simone Simons

Symphonic-metal outfits face a constant challenge to stay relevant and move forward with the scene around them, more so than any other subgenre. However, the dreamy contributions of Simone Simons have kept Epica at the forefront of their genre since 2002. The band that once created “Storm The Sorrow” have matured to the lofty heights of “The Skeleton Key” with Simons’ operatic tones at the helm, bringing her angelic range to the band’s cinematic instrumentals and occasional death-metal infusions.

Maria Brink

Since their inception in 2005, In This Moment have redefined performance art and metal all at the same time, thanks to the command of iconic vocalist Maria Brink. Challenging religious imagery alongside feminine stereotypes, Brink’s presence both on and offstage has decimated the white male dominance of the metal genre. It takes a certain conviction and attitude to pull off the likes of “Whore” and “Blood” without trivializing their core moral messages, but Brink has rewritten the book on expectations of women in the heavy music industry. Long may she reign.

Larissa Stupar

Vicious, teeth-baring uncleans are the domain of Venom Prison’s Larissa Stupar, death metal’s brightest rising star. Whoever said women had to be the saccharine, angelic feminine contribution to metal clearly never met Stupar, who belts savage growls as if delivered from the gates of hell itself. The likes of “Uterine Industrialisation” and “Slayer Of Holofernes” prove devastating both live and in the studio when this unrelenting powerhouse gets her chops around them.

Alissa White-Gluz

Arch Enemy’s screamer-in-chief makes belting superhuman notes look easy. Alissa White-Gluz’s cord-shredding talents are the result of a career that started when she formed the Agonist at the age of 19. Joining Arch Enemy in 2014 gave White-Gluz a platform to showcase her range and also gave us her contagious live presence on a bigger stage. Providing her distinctive tones to regular collaborations with Kamelot and Delain, the voice behind Arch Enemy’s “War Eternal” and “You Will Know My Name” is no stranger to framing racing riffs with her guttural chops and showing off her heavenly cleans when the instrumentals allow.

Cristina Scabbia

The dual vocal onslaught we know and love from Lacuna Coil compels and fascinates, thanks to the storming presence of Cristina Scabbia. Dominating the metal scene since the ’90s, the enduring Italian crew pour richly gothic melodies over devastating riffs. Scabbia’s heavenly clean vocal is the cherry on top. From unforgettable classics such as “Our Truth” to their latest show-stopping “Save Me,” her dream-like range has been an invaluable gift to metal for over two decades and hopefully many, many more.

Tarja Turunen

The thought of losing founding Nightwish vocalist Tarja Turunen to the abyss of former symphonic singers when she left the outfit in 2005 was too much to bear. Luckily for us, Turunen kick-started her solo career the following year, and she’s been a mainstay of the metal scene ever since. The heavenly operatics that once heralded classics such as “Wish I Had An Angel” and “Nemo” now belts “Innocence” and “Tears In Rain” with the most celestial, earthbound vocals the genre has seen to date.

Suzuka Nakamoto

Easily the youngest member of our ranking, Suzuka Nakamoto, known as Su-metal, is the founding member of Japanese sensations BABYMETAL. With all the maturity of an artist twice her age, this 23-year-old puts us all to shame with her consistent energetic vocals and seemingly endless energy supplies while performing impeccable dance routines onstage. Between the iconic “Gimme Chocolate!!” and BABYMETAL’s latest “Kingslayer” collaboration with Bring Me The Horizon, there’s no denying she has a long and prolific career ahead of her.

Amalie Bruun

Myrkur has become a relentless hot topic in metal since its inception in 2014, and we have only recently discovered the identity of the haunting vocals at its heart. Now we can credit multi-instrumental composer Amalie Bruun with the rise of this mysterious Danish project, led into the wilderness by her raw screams bursting through cherubic cleans just when you least expect it. Often singing in Norwegian as an authentic twist on her own style of black metal, the theatrical “Ulvinde” and “Juniper”’s lingering atmospherics merely scratch the surface of Bruun’s compelling storytelling talents.

Elize Ryd

Amaranthe’s triple-threat vocals fetch their lighter tones from Elize Ryd, the Swedish outfit’s not-so-secret weapon who brings cherubic notes to their modern take on organized metallic chaos. Also known for her additions to Kamelot, both live and in the studio, Ryd’s heavenly cords and quirky songwriting add a bucketload of atmosphere and depth to the likes of “Amaranthine” and “Maximize,” making Amaranthe’s unique versatility one that continually sets trends for years to come.

Cammie Gilbert

Houston doom-metal upstarts Oceans Of Slumber have found themselves on a near-vertical trajectory over the last few years, a movement fronted by the tireless energy and boundless talents of their powerhouse vocalist Cammie Gilbert. Upon joining the band in 2014, Gilbert’s towering range came to the surface as her vocals neatly expand the lulling melancholy of “Winter” and the desperate cries of “A Return To The Earth Below,” as if her vocals project both fragility and strength at the same moment.

Heidi Shepherd and Carla Harvey

We couldn’t separate the two ladies commanding Butcher Babies, so this slot goes out to both Heidi Shepherd and Carla Harvey as the double-trouble onslaught who have brought us “Monsters Ball” and “Magnolia Blvd.” If you’re looking for a nonstop, indulgent party with the possibility of a snapped neck or two, look no further than L.A.’s dirtiest metal export that have become a staple on everybody’s festival bucket list. This versatile pair have made thrash their own ever since their 2013 debut, Goliath, showed the metal scene what it had been so desperately lacking—two relentless ladies who know exactly how to have a good time.

Chelsea Wolfe

Surprisingly the only strictly solo appearance on this list, Chelsea Wolfe has made metal her very own since her arrival in 2010, draping a veil of folk-y atmosphere and gothic depth over seductive doom-metal undertones. Combining her boundary-smashing approach with a sadistically dark visual style, Chelsea Wolfe somewhat ironically injects life into doom by refusing to conform to the genre’s ’90s stereotypes. She wraps her smooth vocal swathes around the compelling melancholy of “Feral Love” and “16 Psyche,” as if redressing the world around her in her own image.

Tatiana Shmayluk

You’d be forgiven for thinking Ukrainian outfit Jinjer tell their lyrical tales through the voice of three separate individuals covering melodic cleans, ear-splitting screams and guttural snarls and somewhat effortlessly slipping between them. The single towering voice behind this band’s meteoric rise belongs to Tatiana Shmayluk, flexing her multi-talented chops on “Perennial” and “Sit Stay Roll Over” just to increase your vocal envy. We’re still not sure how she pulls off such smooth transitions between the polar opposite personas onstage, but we can’t seem to look away.

Floor Jansen

Taking on the mammoth task of fronting the pioneering outfit Nightwish in 2013, Floor Jansen donned her new role as if she was born for it. Jansen’s inimitable honeyed tones ushered in a new age for the symphonic-metal icons, weaving her slick melodic range through the band’s trademark cinematic instrumentals. The theatrical atmospheres tracked on “Élan” and “Noise” give Jansen the room to flex her operatic range while she narrates the vibrant, tall tales we know and love from Nightwish.

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