#taking chances because you never know when the opportunity will arise again

[erii-ya]

Punishing Female Trafalgar Law

LAW X FEM READER

A Valentine’s Special One Piece FanFic

CW: **NSFW, smut, bounded, finger-fudging, swear words, dominant reader, submissive Law, spoilers, not proofread**

WC: 1.7k

Dedicated to Anonymous (This may not be to your liking, but I thought of dedicating this story for you still. But I’ll make another one more decent. 😅)

🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞🔞

“Y/N-ya… ngghh… s-stop this…” Law huffed. Feverishly squirming under his restraints while you take your time thrusting two fingers inside his wet sex. Choking back a sob, not wanting to accept the fact that you are in control this time and not him.

An unexpected opportunity arises, much to your luck. After getting hit by one of Blackbeard’s men’s devil fruit, Trafalgar Law was turned into a woman. The lasting effect of the DF power is unknown, so you took the opportunity before you missed the chance.

Restrained in your bed by seastone cuffs is your captain and partner, Trafalgar Law, in his female form, as you like to call it. Why you have a seastone cuff is thanks to you being a weird collector of unusual things.

You gave her a maniacal grin, “Aww, the princess wants me to stop?” you teased. Curling up your fingers inside him, hitting that perfect spot you know so well will make him see stars - or hearts.

Law writhed in pure bliss. He didn’t expect this to be too…good. Now he knows just what you feel whenever he does this to you. “Yes…nghh-no… ahh fuuuck.” and for the nth time, he squirted. 

Making a mess on your shared bed and on you, but you didn’t care. As if it’s not enough torture for Law, you played with his clit while he's at it, the same as what he does to you. Overstimulating him while he moans and spasms uncontrollably under you.

The way he looks right now, sweat forming on his forehead, the uneven pump of his chest, and his half-lidded eyes full of undeniable desire and excitement, made you even more eager to mess him up. You want him to experience the same things he’d done to you, how he played and bullied you down there.

Law was gasping for air, looking at you. He wants to say something, but his thoughts are still in disarray after another display of performance. Without missing a beat and to build up his arousal, you shamelessly suck up your fingers that were covered with his essence, licking it clean. You saw how his eyes widened and gulped down in anticipation.

You hover over him, giving him a sloppy kiss to which he hungrily returns. “Can you taste yourself? You tasted so sweet, love. Just how I like it.” you told him in between kisses. Law only moaned in agreement.

“Good girl…so obedient for me.” you cooed. You act precisely as how he is when he fucks you dumb, and you, in fact, are enjoying it. The feeling of being dominant over him for the first time in the course of your sex life was so satisfying it’ll be etched in your memories forever.

Breaking the kiss, you slowly descend to suck on his melons, going down to his sex, leaving a trail of bite marks and hickeys on his body. “Wh-what are you-ooohhh shit…” he hadn’t got time to finish his words when you started to ‘eat’ him out. 

You had never done this before, so you mentally followed how you remembered him doing it with you. Licking his folds while playing with his clit, seems to give him the same amount of pleasure as you experienced since he started to convulse again and was trying hard to squeeze his thighs shut. But he can’t because his legs are splayed out in restraints for you.

“You truly do too much work for me whenever you do this, don’t you?” you stopped for a bit, making him whine in dismay. “Oops, sorry. Were you enjoying it? Just want to appreciate you for a minute.”

“Y/N-ya… stop… t-teasing… m-me…” said Law, heavily breathing, lust covering his strained voice. “I-I want… to cu–ngghhh” moaning louder when you thrust your digits inside him again.

“You’re saying something, hon?” you asked, mischievously toying with him while you continuously pounded your fingers painfully slow inside him. You can feel him clench your digits in their every thrust, desperately clinging onto them for immediate relief until you see him starting to buckle up his hips, attempting to chase his climax.

Then you stop. Removing your fingers inside him.

Law glared at you due to your sudden halt. He was almost there, reaching his needed peak, but you mercilessly stopped and left him hanging on nothing. “W-wait.. Why’d you- why’d you stop?” he groaned.

Eyes lustful, you stared back at him; licking your lips, you asked, “Was it good?”

“Yes… yes, babe, so please… let me cum.” he begged. 

HE. BEGGED. 

The surgeon of death BEGGED.

It boosted your ego so much that you can’t stop thinking how you’ll prolong this game with him. He’s not the only one on edge for a while now. You can feel your own wetness dripping down your legs. If only you could be turned into a guy right now, you’ll definitely fuck the lights out of him.

You walk over to his side, tracing your fingers on his sensitive skin. Sitting down, you gently wiped away his drool and tucked the strands of loose hair covering his sweat-covered face behind his ears. Slowly laying down beside him, giving feathery kisses on his cheeks, your arm snaked behind him so you could fiddle on his hardened nips, pinching them from time to time while the other hand reached down on his sex, your middle and ring finger alternating between circling his clit and lunging inside.

Law felt the familiar knots on his stomach again, heat building up along with it. “Babe…” he said breathily. “Please… let me cum…” pleading for an immediate release.

You stopped what you were doing and shushed him. Cupping his face with one hand, you close your mouth to his ears, licking it sensually as how he liked it. 

“You want to cum, hon?” Law nodded eagerly, lust drunk. “Me too. Can you feel how wet I am for you right now?” you cooed—placing one of his thighs in between your dripping sex and humping on it. The squelching sound it made was too much for Law to handle. Giving him shivers, and you feel his body tense against yours.

“This is so unfair, love.” whispering in his ears in a flirtatious tone. “As much as I want to play and tease you more while you’re in your female form, I wish you could fuck me senseless instead.” 

Hearing your remark made Law choke.

“Fuck me so hard the only thing I could do is scream your name.” you added. “But I guess it’s not my lucky day, so to be fair, cum for me instead… but only through my voice.” purring to his ears. 

As much as it pains him to admit, Law was actually enjoying this sadistic side of you. He was so thrilled seeing that confidence while you tormented him the whole time. And that dirty talk… hot damn. It makes him too impatient to go back to being a man so he can wipe that smug grin off your face using his cock.

Law’s already at his limit. Your voice sends a tingling sensation throughout his body, and it’s not helping him at all. He started jerking, trying his best to free himself from his shackles, and you’re enjoying watching him try.

To add more fuel to his now blazing fire of desire, you continued purring sweet nothings and dirty talking through his ears. Biting it, then licking, then moaning deliciously after.

“It’s alright, love. You’re doing great.”

“Ngghhh yes… yes that’s it… cum for mee”

“Can’t wait to have you inside me again. My pussy’s throbbing just thinking about it.”

“I am so hot and ready for you, babe.”

“I need you, Law.”

“I love you, captain.”

“Remember to pump me up with your seeds once you're back.”

“I want all of it. I want all of you.”

As soon as you said the last word, Law went on an overdrive—his slim female body spasms in delight with his successful release. Appalled that he came to a climax because of your voice. 

You didn’t interrupt him this time and let him chase down his high. Planting kisses on his face, neck, and shoulders.

“Such a good boy.” you said, wrapping him in a hug as he pants, trying to get even breaths.

You both stayed in that position; moments later, you heard his light snores. Seeing that he’s already out cold, probably due to your exhausting torture, you carefully stood up and removed the seastone cuffs securing him one by one.

There were red marks around his wrists and ankles, proof of him trying to unbind himself the whole time. Feeling a pang of guilt, you softly caress the marks as if it’ll help heal them.

“I may have gone overboard. I’m sorry, love.”

To appease him when he wakes up, you change your clothes to one of his since yours has gotten quite messed up earlier and go over to the kitchen to get him some water and whip up an Onigiri. 

As you return to your shared bedroom, you are so busy mentally thinking about the other things you must prepare to clean him up that you don’t notice the towering shadow in the room waiting for your return. You placed the tray you were holding on his desk near the entrance and were about to close the door when you saw Law –in his original, manly figure, in all his glory, closing in on you.

‘Oh no. This won’t be good.’

“Fuck. I forgot somethi–...” You frantically turn around to open the door when Law cuts you to it, pinning you in place between him and the door.

Feeling his breath in your ears, he whispered, “Why the rush, Y/N-ya? Didn’t you say you are so hot and ready for me?”

“I should’ve left you in cuffs until morning.” you whizzed. 

Law only chuckled; wrapping his other hand on your waist, he spun you around to face him. There, you saw golden eyes staring back at you, piercing your soul and your very core. You swallowed up a lump.

His eyes are still lustful; you know he’ll go feral any minute because you awaken the beast.

“Who would’ve thought this was YOUR lucky day?” mocking you for what you said a while ago. “I hope you built up enough stamina because just as you wished, I’ll fuck you so hard; not only will you scream my name… but you may also not be able to walk for the next. Three. Days.”

‘I am sooo dead.’

(*/ω＼*) (*/ω＼*) (*/ω＼*) (*/ω＼*) (*/ω＼*) (*/ω＼*) (*/ω＼*)

A/N: Never thought my first Trafalgar Law fic would be smut. Not even sure if I intended it to be a dirty smut or a decent smut if that makes sense. Happy Valentine's to all!

My bisexual heart had never been triggered by a fictional character until this dazzling pirate captain came to my knowledge. Thank you, Oda-sensei! Thank you for making Trafalgar D. Water Law. I hope the live-action will do him justice, too.

[nicolesainz]

You belong with me (MM7)

Mason Mount x f!reader

Author’s note: I am in the middle of a Charles Leclerc fic and studying for exams and yet at 11 at night all I am willing to do is write a fic about Mase. So here you go! It’s a very simple plot from Mason’s POV.

Summary: You indeed belong with him, you just haven’t realized it yet. Mason has been trying everything and when the perfect opportunity arises, he is willing to take it up and make you his.

Warnings: angst, jealousy, minor violence, soft in the end!

She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. There is no one else in this world that I would want to make and call ‘mine’. If I had a lamp with a genie inside, my only wish would be to let me love her unconditionally.

It’s a pity she won’t let me love her. She’s in search for the love of a man that doesn’t even want her. Even worse, can’t provide her the love I can and am willing to give. I feel sick to my stomach knowing her heart has been engraved with his name instead of mine.

Y/N and I have been best friends before we could even talk. As babies our eyes and childish giggles would do the trick. As we were growing up, our relationship became stronger and we were attacked to the hip. She’d beg her mother to stay over at my house and I would beg my mom to stay over at her house.

We would never sleep. We would talk endless hours about what we want to do in life. What we want to succeed in. What our lives would be in 20 years time.

“I will be playing for Chelsea one day and I will win the Champions League. I promise you.” I said as a young boy, hopping on my bed, with a dream and passion to motivate me.

“You will be a superstar one day, Masey. And I will always be by your side to cheer for you.” Y/n replied, looking up to me, with a massive smile plastered on her face and her bubbly eyes admiring me.

Y/n did keep her word. She’s been present to all of my games. Whether those were in London, in Holland or other parts of the world, she has been truly my biggest fan. At winning games and losing games, she’s stood by me like no one else has or will ever do so.

Every goal I scored was dedicated to her. My celebrations would vary but a small heart would always be included. If I ever forgot the heart celebration, I would go up to the camera and mouth an ‘I love you’ to the screen so she would see it.

A lot of people in high school believed that we were dating. I would’ve loved to confirm those rumors, although y/n’a undying love for the nerd, tall boy in our class would ruin everything I wished for. He was expressionless and would simply smile like an idiot to her whenever they had a small conversation.

The moment we stopped sitting next to each other my blood would boil every time I caught him looking at her. I would send her small paper notes to keep her distracted from his presence. At times, I wasn’t able to go to class because of games or practice so for the entirely of the time, she would occupy my thoughts and I would ask her other friends if anything happened.

Till this very day, the only person that truly knows how deeply in love I am with y/n, is Declan. And I think he’s kind of sick hearing me blabber about how I would gift her the world, the planets and the night sky full of stars just to be with her.

“I know you love her mate but you’re clearly not what she wants.” One day Declan hit me with the realization that I may not be the boy she loves. And it was partially true. I wasn’t. Not until the perfect chance popped up.

It was Valentine’s Day and coincidentally Y/n birthday as well. Everyone in our class knew so her nickname in high school was Mrs. Cupid. They said that she could have whoever she desired. And yet this never happened. The idiot she loved was a scared man who couldn’t handle the portions of love she was showering him with.

It was our class reunion after almost 10 years. Me and y/n knew about the whereabouts of some old classmates so seeing them again would be like a casual hang out. Other hand lost touch so we would be seeing them again after years. Y/n would also be faced with the asshole she had been pinning about.

“How do I look Mase?” She appeared in front of me with a golden sparkly top and a black skirt that was perfectly showing off her figure. Her hair was let down in soft summery curls with lips more red than Manchester’s color. My heart started thumping so fast, I could run a marathon and come back without a hint of sweat. She’s so majestic.

“You’re beautiful darling.” Was all I said with a soft smile on my lips, even though I hid all my true thoughts for her appearance.

“Oh why thank you Mr. Mount. You are very handsome yourself.” I blush at her sweet words. She has an effect on me which I do not try to hide. Unfortunately I know that the reason why she is so insanely beautifully dressed is because he will be there. She would love to have another try. Maybe a final one.

"Shall we get going? You will start getting annoyed with your heels very soon so better be sat than sorry." I point out trying to clear my head from all the intrusive thoughts.

"Oh yes, plus you've got a game tomorrow. We have to come back early." She grabs her purse and we make our way out of her house. I drove all the way to London with my clothes for the party and for the game tomorrow after training so I could be with her from the moment we enter the club.

"You can stay in the party if you like, I will come and pick you up whenever you want me to." I suggest her by letting her get closer to what she desires but instead letting my desire fly away.

"No influence in the world has a priority against you. We will come back home when you call so. I won't risk your sleeping schedule for my silliness." Y/n takes my free hand into hers and caresses it softly. She keeps making it very difficult for me not to maneuver back the car, lock her in her room and shower her with kisses and tell her how much I love her.

"For now let's go have some fun. It will be nice seeing all the faces of our old classmates."

Most of them still live in London. It was me and three other people who lives far away in different cities. Once we arrived at the bar that we had booked, y/n held my arm nervously and I kissed her forehead, wanting to calm her down. She had no reason to worry. Everyone who knew her loved her. It was only him who couldn't love her like she wished.

When I opened the door and our old classmates noticed us, they all ran towards y/n, giving her hugs and compliments about how beautiful she looked. Some of the boys came up to me and greeted me with a few shakes and congratulations for the transfer to Manchester.

As we reached the barline, he was there talking to some of his old friends and y/n eyes immediately widened from worrying. He looked the same to me, I hadn't noticed anything different. I decided to go up to him and chat a bit, given that for y/n to ease there must be a familiar face in presence.

"Look at that, Mason Mount. How are you dude?"

He suddenly got all arrogant or what? He was a quiet, forgettable and tall boy in high school, what changed all of a sudden?

"Good, good. Settling the in the new life in Manchester. How about you?" I try not to sound as pissed as I may look. I eye him up and down once more trying to understand what difference there is.

"Travelling the world every other weekend, I am exhausted. You get the feeling? Home and away games?" Oh he gained soo much confidence over the years that he got annoying as well.

"Definitely, I agree. So what do you do that requires so much traveling?" Last time I remember he wanted to become a driver but god knows if that could get him anywhere at the age he was.

"I work for Mercedes, as their development driver for Formula 1." I almost chocked on my drink. So he did make it as a driver, almost.

"That's amazing. Good for you mate." That's what gave him all the confidence he has I suppose.

"So what about you and y/n, finally got together? I saw her holding your arm, I assumed you're dating." A smirk formed above his eyes, which made my eyes twitch a tad.

"She's my best friend. So no, we are not dating." I so would have loved to say otherwise even if that meant I had to lie, but I couldn't. It would be wrong for y/n.

"Damn, still haven't given up Mount? I admire your determination. If she was as hot as she is now back in the day, I would have made my move." If he utters another word he will die on the hill and I will be arrested but for the sake of y/n I wouldn't care.

"She's always been extremely beautiful. You were just trying to figure out whether you have a dick or not so your focus was on something else." I got a lot of pats on the back and a lot of 'fuck dude' echos in the background.

"If you are so desperate to try and get into her pants why haven't you flashed at her the trophies and the money? Easier path than trying to sway her with your undying love confessions." I couldn't control myself when he said those disgusting things so my only response was to punch him in the face and throw my drink on him as well.

"You don't deserve an ounce of the love she has for you. You don't deserve the charming smiles you would have woken up next to. You don't deserve anything good, fucking piece of shit." He got up immediately and punched me in the gut with all his strength. I stopped breathing with how my lungs were pressed and all his friends were trying to block him from punching me again.

"Who told you I wanted her to like me in the first place? There's a reason why I never asked her out. You can have all her pathetic emotions for yourself. She still begs for someone she liked since high school. You're a goddamn footballer, why are you so obsessed with her?"

When I finally got up on my feet again and gained my senses, I grabbed his collar before anyone could hold me back from going up to him and gave him a deadly look, as if this would be the last time he was breathing and not coughing blood.

"I loved and will continue to love her no matter what. I do not want anyone else and I am willing to compromise for the sake of her happiness. I was tired of watching her chase your pathetic ass when I could have given her all the love she desires. You can have anyone you like but your time with her is over." As I realised that I said that out loud in public, I turned around to see a fully crying y/n, trying to control her sobs and clear her vision.

Her lower lip was quivering and her eyes were on my hands as I was still holding his shirt very violently. I looked deep into her eyes, although she refused to give me even a single glimpse. I had fucked it up majorly.

"Let him go Mason." Her voice has no emotion in it. More blunt than ever. There was no 'Masey' or 'Mase'. It was stern cold. I did as I was told and turned back to face her full blown red cheeks and lips with smeared lipstick. What had I done?

"I am so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have had, but I..." I couldn't finish my sentence as she walked away from the scene and I immediately run after her. No way in hell I was going to stay back.

"I didn't mean to hit him. He was literally asking for it. If you could hear what he said about you, it was horrible. I couldn't just stand there and let him talk so disrespectfully about you." I never let anyone talk in a mean manner about my girl. Even Conor who once called her 'hot' I almost kicked his leg on purpose in practice.

"Did you mean what you said at the bar? Or was this just a show?" I couldn't believe my ears when she said that she believed that this was just a show. Was that what she thought of me?

"Ask anyone I know on this planet. Ask them about you. Ask them what I have said about you. Ask them how much I love you. Ask them how I would take a bullet for you, how I would put my career on the line if it meant to prioritise you. You have no idea how much I cried the night before I left for Manchester. I called Lewis at 3 am in the morning crying, asking him to help me cancel my contract so I could stay in London. Even if that meant trying to force my way back into Chelsea or another club. Do you really think I would punch a guy for any other girl besides you? Because yes y/n, I love you. I truly am madly in love with you. I love you so much it started to pain me. It was heartbreaking seeing you try to be loved by someone who wasn't deserving of your love when I was there, waiting to give you all the love of the world. If you still think this is all a show, then I am deeply sorry. I just want the best for you."

There was so much more to confess and to explain, although it would take me an eternity to prove to her how much she meant to me. Since day one I knew that if someone would be my endgame, it had to be her.

"You are my best friend, you will always be. We share everything with each other. Why did you never say anything about this? What stopped you from telling me how you were feeling? " She came closer to me and cupped my cheeks softly, caressing my rough skin.

"If I lost you because of my feelings, I would have never forgiven myself. God knows how many nights we spend sleeping in each other's embrace and I whispered in your ear how much I was in love with you. I just hoped one day you listened and wake up realising we should be together. But forcing you to love me, wouldn't be right. That is why I never told anything." This could either break my heart or bring me back to life, there's no way back now.

"Mason, I was in love with you before I ever was with him. He was just my reason to bury all the love I had for you. I was scared of admitting anything because your career kept growing and growing and the thought of being in love with you whilst you were playing in another country with a girlfriend I probably wouldn't even like, would keep me up late at night crying."

Her words broke my heart into a million pieces. My y/n was in love with me as well? The girl of my dreams could have been mine for so long and we wouldn't have had to go through this mess? Y/n loved me, oh my god.

"If you allow me, I will love you for the rest of our lives. Whoever you want to end up with, just tell me, will you allow me to give you all the unconditional love I have for you? All that matters to me is that you are happy. As long as you smile, I know I can smile as well." I lowered my head and our foreheads touched, feeling her breath hit on my lips, which were about to capture hers but I held back for a moment.

"I don't want to be loved by anyone else but you, Mason Tony Mount. If I want to be with someone, I want that person to be you. I want to share my life and love I have with you. We could have been happy now if we both weren't so scared to admit our feelings." I can feel her tears running down my hands as I was trying to bring her face closer to mine.

"Better late than never, am I right?" I took the chance and captured her lips in a full of years of emotions kiss, softer than the touch of clouds but with more love than cupid's arrows. My heart has finally found the pace it will beat when I am with her. It will beat faster than a thousand hearts combined and will be full of happiness.

[studentbyday]

week 3 / small commitments challenge “There is no race to win. Only a stroll.”

Yes, emerging adulthood is a privileged phenomenon. But with great privilege comes great responsibility and I sometimes feel the need to know exactly what I want in life from career to friendships to romantic relationships to family and how I will handle challenges in each of those domains that may have a chance at or will definitely come my way in order to be responsible. But that's an impossible ask at this stage of my life. I don't even think I can know all of what I want in life for decades to come. I keep changing. And it would not be wise now to run around in circles, chasing my tail, coming to no conclusions, or to rush the decision making process and come to conclusions that aren't well thought out. Sometimes I feel like I should make these decisions faster whenever I see others in my life around my age making them or having made them already or just generally progressing faster in life than I am. And other times, for seemingly no reason at all, I pick up the issues again from the backburner in case this time I stop chasing my tail...but that hasn't happened yet.

We all have different experiences that lead us to our varied and valid conclusions. Perhaps my peers have just experienced enough to come to theirs. Which means I just have to keep exploring different options until I feel informed enough to make those decisions for myself. And when I've made those decisions, I'll have to commit to them fully (well, 99.9%) so that I can be free in mind to become as good as I can at whatever I decide to do. This doesn't mean I'll stop re-assessing my circumstances periodically as that's how one spots better opportunities and improves themselves, but equally important is only changing direction when there are objectively good reasons to, not just because strong feelings of FOMO or self-doubt pull me so (those feelings can and have been useful in telling me when smth is genuinely wrong about my current situation but they can also be to my detriment when they arise primarily because of the voice in my head whose sole purpose is to be a pessimistic nay-sayer/bully).

hours spent stu(dying) 😭 tomato garden (50/10): M: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Tu: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 W: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅+(1/2 🍅) Th: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 F: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 (so tired, i had to take a nap 😪) S: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Su: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

In other news, the ochem midterm was this week. I studied as hard as I could for it all week, but that meant I didn't start on the new module (not covered on the midterm) for this week, hence the absence of a true weekend 😭 3 more weeks to go (including 1 week JUST to review for final woohoo!! [no that isn't sarcasm, i genuinely need that time lol]) and then we're NOT doing any more ochem at uni (self-study, maybe, but istg never again in a squished timeframe like this 😭). (Also wowwww can you tell i'm tired by the number of times i repeat the same words and emojis in a short paragraph... Adrenaline [or is it the sun? 😒] had me waking up before my alarm all week, averaging 7 hours of sleep a night 😭)

[te3mo]

alright now that ive settled back into the land of tumblr as i eagerly search for more father paul content id like to drop my thoughts that i had written down as i finished the finale because oh👏🏻my👏🏻god👏🏻

the entire show was brilliant, but im specifically discussing pruitt here bc im a hopeless romantic and his interpersonal tragedy moved me the most.

spoilers duh

The revelation that this entire mess erupted only from a lifelong desire to somehow reunite with Millie and Sarah was agonizing to me. The God fearing priest feared death above all.

I've been on Reddit and watching reaction videos on YouTube and nobody seems to be touching on Pruitt and Millie the way I wished they would. I know we didn't get much content regarding their story in the show - only the brief reconnection under tragic circumstances in the finale - and I do wish I knew more, had more detail, but I think the fact it was left so fleeting and vague made it all that more sombering in the end. In so little time, it was shown how deeply he adored her; always had, always would. Of course there are several brief moments throughout the entire series that indicate such, but we can't truly put all the pieces together until the end.

Mildred immediately recognizing him despite her limited coherency due to her advanced dementia. The way he tears up simply sitting beside her for her first in-home communion and gently adjusts her blanket.

The way he interacts with Sarah whenever he sees her - staring at her from a distance, which Sarah comments he has done her entire life and assumes it was with judgment and perception that she is a sinner, since she is a lesbian. But no, it was always the opposite. He gazed from a distance out love and a yearning to be by her side raising her - and at the Crock Pot Luck now, he gazes as he always had but this time with the desperate hope that he will get a second chance.

He tells Sarah he's proud of her when any opportunity arises. Proud of her for caring for the community - she isn't "just doing her job," she is simply a wonderful human being. Proud of her again, he says, when she douses the church in gasoline. His flesh and blood he has admired from her birth despite not being the one to care for her and watch her grow from the perspective of an active father - he is so proud of her. He was always so proud of her. No matter what she did, he was proud of her.

Millie begins to regress in age, and Sarah continuously tests her cognition - is her mother really "here" now? How aware is she, truly? And when she asks her what her father's name is, Mildred hesitates. She is clearly coherent at this time, she so quickly confirmed that her childhood chores were the dishes and her rebellious youth was for boys and booze, but when Sarah asks what her father's name was, she hesitates. Sarah has to press for the answer - although it is a brief hesitation, it is a hesitation nonetheless.

When Pruitt returns for her in-home communion and meets her upstairs this time, there is something to be said even just in his body language as he leans casually against the door threshold, smiles at her with such warmth, saying that Sarah informed him she was feeling better. Followed by the way Millie shakily says his name in disbelief and then the way they hold hands while he ecstatically exclaims he has so much to tell her. He sounds like a giddy child with so much fun news to share; I interpret his thoughts as something akin to "I've lived such a long life wishing you could have been by my side, but let me tell you all about it since you weren't."

The finale. My God, the finale. Their conversation as they sit alone in the church now burdened with blood. "It was you," he said. The only thing he ever wanted was her, but she never asked him to take off the collar. She never would have - she clarified this. Everything he ever did, this entire disaster, was all because of her. He wanted a second chance; he wanted a true miracle. A true miracle, to him, was the ability to be together with Mildred again and love their daughter together. His commentary that Mildred was never a sin, never a mistake. That Sarah was never a sin, never a mistake. That he would have done anything for his Millie; he would have gone anywhere in the world with her.

Sarah's death. Hamish's acting is just *chef's kiss* in every damn episode, mostly through how passionately he expresses himself. Constantly. Every episode. But the sheer horror on his face at the sudden sound of a gunshot from behind him and Sarah immediately being struck down, and his impulse is to chase Sturge down and tackle him and kill him. There was no thought process to this - this was an act of pure impulse stemming from turmoil. It was an act to protect his daughter - IMMEDIATELTY eradicate the threat to her (though she is obviously already mortally wounded). Mildred runs in, crying for her baby girl, and Pruitt desperately tries to force his blood into her mouth as a last ditch effort to "save" her, but even in death Sarah does not want this. This is not resurrection, this is a curse, and so she rejects it and dies. She dies while, for the first time in her life, seeing both her mother and father right over her. Together.

The way Pruitt carries his daughter out of the church in silence. Mildred stays behind briefly only to ignite the church, which Sarah had already flooded with gasoline. And then they walk together and sit on the bridge, which Millie had explained was Sarah's favorite spot as a little girl.

While Pruitt caresses the face of the daughter he so dearly wanted to openly love and cherish, he rips off his clerical collar. He tosses it away without care. Mildred never asked him to take it off and never would have, and on his own accord, he finally does. His daughter is dead, and the rest of them will all be dead soon, too. The prayers for his miracle went unanswered. He will not get his second chance.

And as the sun rises and the island burns, he asks not God for forgiveness, but Mildred.

I loved every aspect of this show. I have no complaints. I imagine I will rewatch this multiple times. It has been a while since I've been so emotionally impacted by a piece of media. I loved the dynamic between Riley and Erin, I loved Leeza forgiving Joe Collie, I sobbed during Riley's sacrifice and I loved Sarah's character long before suspecting the dynamic between her and Pruitt. I loved every symbol in the entire series.

But above all, I loved the love Pruitt had for Mildred.

Anyways pls do follow me if you're as obsessed as I am, I haven't been active on here in years but Tumblr has always been great for fangirling and this seems like a great time to write fanfiction again.

[chuuya-fan-page]

Off-Brand Tiktok Chuugly worse than the original! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!! GONE WRONG!!!!!)

I dunno how BSD fan's takes could get even more braindead, uhhhh, but they did? Which is, really cool. A has already discussed this individuals posts before, but this one is just...

Hot take, neither ship will be canon because BSD is not a romance centric series!!!!!!!

Well this is just blatantly wrong.

"Dazai was never intimate with Chuuya!"

...Sure thing!

Ignore that a big part of soukoku's bond is that despite Dazai's aversion to physical contact and his alienation from the world around him he allows Chuuya to touch him. Whatever you want.

"He only saw Chuuya as a monster finding his past, that's why he hated him!"

No. Dazai and Chuuya's conflict in Fifteen arises from their opposing ideologies. Dazai plans ahead, Chuuya is brash and jumps into things, which irritates Dazai, this is something he dislikes as well in Akutagawa. On the other hand, Chuuya has fought his whole life, whereas Dazai seems ready to give up, which is confronting to Chuuya and his mindset. This is where that "hatred" comes from.

Also the idea that Dazai saw Chuuya as monstrous is canonically incorrect. I don't even have to do any digging, Dazai says it outright (ty for not being difficult for once)

Dazai never doubted Chuuya's humanity. He never doubted it because he saw how complex a person Chuuya was and never thought he could be anything other than human.

The way Dazai acted with Sigma was partly because he wanted to help him, yes, but also because he was using him. Hello???? Also Dazai was hardly intimate with Sigma, he drags him down at one point, and whether you're going on the anime or the manga, grabs his face to stop him from literally DYING.

Some of y'all, istg.

Partly true!

Dazai sees Sigma as human!

Please refer to my last piece of evidence on the topic of Chuuya.

Dazai had already nullified corruption when he cupped Chuuya cheek. That was just a moment of pure intimacy and trust between them!

None of this changes the fact that Dazai, a man who has a metaphorical wall around his emotions and his body, allowed Chuuya to sleep on his lap. He could have moved him, it wasn't risky at all, he didn't need to hold Chuuya still on his lap like that, minimal contact was enough, but Dazai allowed more.

Buddy, if he wanted to kill him. He had plenty of chances, they were partners for a long time and Chuuya's literally been passed on his lap before, he could have killed him then, when he was vulernable and out. Then there's corruption that if Dazai doesn't get to him in time to nullify it, he literally dies. If Dazai really wanted to kill him, he could have. Their so-called murder attempts are not serious and they don't do it genuinely trying to harm e/o. The last one is just what?? Like I said before, if he wanted to kill e/o he could have just not got to him in time after using corruption. Corruption is always last resort, double black doesn't always use it. The memorizing breathing patterns s because they were partners and spent a lot of time together and know e/o better than anyone else.

Dazai has had ample opportunity to kill Chuuya, he's been around him at his weakest and lowest points. There is no reason why Chuuya would still be alive if Dazai truly wanted him dead.

bro what.

Corruption is a last-ditch effort that has only ever been used sparingly and against enemies that couldn't otherwise be defeated. Guivre, for example, was a singularity beast out of control. Lovecraft was literally CTHULU. Steinbeck himself said there was no hurting Lovecraft from the outside, and that lil bomb Dazai hid in his cast was not doing it for them.

Again.

If Dazai wanted Chuuya dead. He. Would. Be. Dead.

I straight up don't know what this point is supposed to mean. Dazai shows disgust for Fyodor's beliefs at some point? Like is that what she's referring to??? I dunno, lack of evidence, overruled.

That's...not...

I have no words for this oml.

Like dude, acting has to come from some genuine feelings um.

"Chuuya dehumanized him multiple times" I'm genuinely sick of people taking that dhc scene as dehumanization. Dazai was being ignorant and being disrespectful to the dead, who for context, was a guy who helped Chuuya out with the verlaine situation in sb. He said "oh wouldn't this be good since an executive poistion is open now?" like who wouldn't be pissed by that? So he punches him, because Chuuya's lived a life of survival, so that punch was probably instinct. The words he says after to Dazai was not dehumanization! "I'm human too" "No one would believe that"

People take this as dehumanization, but he practically saying "no one would believe you are human when you are belitting human life like this, so start acting like the human being you are" basically it was a way of saying of dazai's inhumane behavior was shitty and was basically a wake up call for him. He's seen Dazai act humane before, stormbringer was a prime example of that when Dazai gave him a choice, so he knows dazai is capable of acting humane. It's notably even said when Dazai gives Chuuya a few minutes to think about it: "It was an expression dazai never makes."

And um, blind trust is not always good. Sigma and Dazai are in a life or death situation, so he kinda has to trust and put faith in Dazai even though he is incredibly wary of him due to his experiences with fyodor. But Chuuya and Dazai have known e/o for a long time, so logically they will have more trust than sigma and Dazai.

-T and A

[artful-aries]

Genshin Headcanons: How They Apologize (Itto, Albedo, Jean)

​​

​​Itto:

​​Depending on what you fought about, at first, he would be too proud to apologize

​​The One and Oni Arataki Itto, being wrong? Fat chance

​​Yet as you give him the cold shoulder, he grows increasingly pouty. Why aren’t you talking to him and giving him kisses? Don’t you love him anymore? He begins to grow almost insecure the longer you draw out the punishment

​​It doesn’t take long of being ignored till his resolve is crumbling to dust. Depending on how mad you are, Itto might be extra and even get down on his knees as he apologizes to you

​​“(Y/N), my babe, my doll, my honey, my numero two, please don’t be mad at me anymore! I won’t do it again, Oni’s honor! Just please, please stop ignoring me babe. I miss being in your arms, and kissing you.”

​​If you don’t have the patience to ignore him for a while, or his groveling for your affection isn’t enough, you can always talk to Shinobu

​​Within the hour, she will have him whipped into shape with a written apology that he will read out in front of you

​​It would be a nice apology that addresses the issue nicely thanks to Shinobu’s advice. It’s just hard to ignore the giant whelp that Itto seems to have on the back of his head after spending an hour under Shinobu’s strict gaze

​​He will be super grateful that you’ve forgiven him, vowing to never make the same mistake again

​​Itto does surprisingly well about not repeating past offenses, the problem is that he seems to always come up with new ones

​​

​​Albedo:

​​Arguments with him are rare and mostly one sided. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s usually confused about why you are mad

​​It takes him a while to get around to apologizing to you

​​Albedo not only wants to make sure you have had plenty of time to cool off, but he also wants to make sure that he prepares an articulate apology for you

​​Given that he tries to plan out his apology, it comes out as a bit stiff and script like, but the small furrow of his brows and the concern in his eyes shows that he really does care about your feelings

​​He’s more than happy to talk about your feelings; why you got mad, where things went wrong, and how to not make the same mistakes in the future

Albedo will handle the situation in a very mature way, and make sure that you don’t confuse his stoicism for lack of feeling. He cares very much about what you think, he just has a hard time showing it

​​He’s very keen on making sure there is healthy communication between you two. Albedo isn’t dumb, he knows he can be a bit cold and aloof externally, and communication is the tool he uses to try and combat potential misunderstandings

​​When you have forgiven him, he will give you a tender kiss to your forehead, a wordless promise that he will try to do better for you in the future.

​​

​​Jean:

​​She usually feels a lot of guilt before the argument is even over

​​When it’s possible, she will find a way to interrupt your ranting to apologize, and ask you to calmly talk about the issue with her

​​If you storm out before she gets to apologize, she’s actually very internally distraught, barely able to concentrate on her work with the Knights

​​As soon as the opportunity arises, she’s giving you a bouquet of dandelions to apologize

​​Jean will explain that she knows what upset you and why, and that she feels terrible about it

​​She doesn’t want you to think that just because she’s busy that she doesn’t think about the best way to resolve problems with you

​​Her job is super stressful and she isn’t perfect, but she appreciates your understanding

​​With her apology, you almost completely forget what you were even mad about to begin with; her apology is just that sincere and heartfelt. How could you stay mad at her?

​​Even after she’s forgiven, she will still feel a little awkward and guilty about the argument until you give her a kiss for reassurance; whether it’s on her forehead, cheek, lips, or hands, you’ll have her blushing like a schoolgirl and forgetting what she was torn up about

[afterthegreatunknown]

it's like you and me are lovers

Rating: Mature

Important Notes On Rating: Past Rape/Non-Con, Racism, Period Typical Racism (1980s Period Because I Headcanon So), Racial Slurs

Additional Notes (Updated): Pre-Canon (Pre-ASOUE), Post-Canon (Post-ATWQ, Post-ASOUE), Swearing, Fantasizing, Violence, Drunkenness, Breakfast, Bonding, Guilt, Self-Blaming, Hurt/Comfort, Headcanons Gone Out of Control

Also: From this point onward, because it's a multi-chapter the fic will be cross-posted onto AO3; chapter two is here, and if you want to start at the beginning proper, chapter one is here.

(the man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still)

Even after all these years, Widdershins can see how Hector hasn’t change. Hector still keeps receipts of anything he buys. Hector still enjoys browsing magazines and books for a few pages, before putting them back as if he never read them in the first place. Hector still complains about certain brands of frozen burritos and tacos label as “Mexican Authentic” when they’re not.

Another thing Hector still does that Widdershins can’t help but admire, is the desire to save money whenever possible if the opportunity arises. And the drive westward back to the Land of Districts is giving Hector that chance. Somehow, their little group of seven has been getting the good luck of whenever having to spend the night at a motel. And that’s because Hector has been securing rooms for them at a reasonable, low price.

Granted, that’s because someone in the group doesn’t get to sleep in a bed. Always, that someone is Widdershins himself. Whenever sharing a room with his stepchildren, they keep quiet (though Fiona asks if he likes a pillow and blanket). On the occasion that has him sharing a room with Hector, Hector always says in a calm voice, “I don’t mind sharing the bed with you.”

Widdershins always declines.

It’s rather obvious why.

“Would you like a special discount deal? It’s three rooms total at a reasonable price. It’s two nice rooms with multiple twin beds with an adjoining bathroom can that be split among your children, and one lover-ly suite for yourselves, and yourselves only.”

When the woman behind the front desk said it, Widdershins thought that going by the wording, he would finally get to sleep in a nice bed. Alas, that is clearly not the case. The suite has a king-size bed fit for a couple, be it dating or newlyweds. Widdershins couldn’t help but give a side glance at Hector. Hector narrows his eyes at the bed, and he runs a hand through his bangs. It’s good to know that Hector isn’t too happy either. 

“This certainly explains the odd wording.” Hector lifts up the right corner of the comforter, bedspread, and top sheet, exposing the mattress underneath. It’s very clean. Very much recently washed for a couple that never showed up.

Widdershins forces out a smile and chuckles. The non-existent couple’s lost is now Hector and his gain. Widdershins hates it. “On the bright side, the suite bathroom not only has a shower, but a whirlpool tub! Aye, maybe I won’t get neck pain tonight! Or back pain! Aye! Or any other pain possible at my age! Aye! Though sometimes I feel older than I actually am!”

“Widdershins,” begins Hector, “I think maybe this time—”

“A jacuzzi isn’t the worst place to sleep in!” Widdershins would rather settle this before it gets started. Again. “Aye! And we all know that there are worser things to do in a tub that isn’t sleep! Aye! I still wonder what was the first worst thing Esmé did in one!”

“Widdershins, if you don’t mind, I think that—”

Widdershins quickly snaps his fingers. He has to finish the conversation now. “If you excuse me, I have to freshen up before going to bed! It won’t take long! You can stay here until I—”

Hector without any hesitation extends out his arms, and soon Widdershins feels himself getting push over. Widdershins finds himself lying back down on the bed —it’s so soft, like a mousse, so comfortable—unable to move, for Hector is now on top of him. Hector is straddling him, and is holding down his shoulders tighter than Widdershins would like.

Widdershins can see how Hector’s mouth is in a thin line of a frown, and that his eyes are revealing what is clearly years of pent-up frustrations. It makes sense though. After all their careful dancing to avoid the discussion of the Anwhistle Aquatic Fire, it’s high time that they finally talk about Gregor.

“I—” Widdershins doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Your continuous refusal to share a bed has me noticing something,” interrupts Hector. Hector’s voice is stronger than usual. His voice is demanding. It’s wanting something. “Sofas, closets with limited room on the floor, tubs… They’re all small spaces.”

Widdershins doesn’t like how Hector is leading the conversation. “I’m use to small spaces. Aye! And taking small spaces allows everyone else a nice place to sleep in! Especially you! Aye! You deserve it far more than me!”

“How so?” Hector is still staring with those frustrated eyes.

“Isn’t it—You’re the reason we managed to get as far as we can! Your smarts regarding our money are doing better than what I contribute, or could contribute!” Widdershins closes his eyes. When he speaks again, he hears himself talking in a quieter voice. “Besides, we know perfectly well there’s a lot more between us that’s unspoken. Aye, for why else would I be in this predicament? So, out with it. Your anger at me for Gregor’s death. Take it out on me now.”

There’s a silence between them. Widdershins feels Hector’s hold suddenly disappearing. Widdershins reopens his eyes. He sees Hector still on top of him, looking down at him. Hector still has those frustrations in his eyes. Widdershins wishes Hector just get it over with.

“The unspoken things between us in the past shouldn’t affect what’s going on with us currently. We have to stick together to get back to the Land of Districts,” says Hector, briefly closes his eyes. Hector then gives a sigh, and reopens his eyes. The frustrations in them are gone. “And I would prefer it if we’re all not sore, tired, and aching.”

Widdershins isn’t sure how to reply to that. He could reply back about how Hector shouldn’t lie. Or that Hector isn’t thinking clearly in that their past should affect how things are going to be in the future. There are many things Widdershins wants to say, but he couldn’t get it out.

Hector doesn’t say anything either. They just continue to stare at one another. The silence between them has Widdershins growing uncomfortable. There’s a heaviness that he wishes would just go away.

And said heaviness evaporates when Hector finally removes himself off Widdershins. Hector gets off from the bed, and walks towards the door.

“Take all the time you need to freshen up,” says Hector. Not as stern, and not as demanding.  Hector digs a hand into one of his pockets. “I need some fresh air at the moment anyway. Lock the main door, but don’t even think about locking the bedroom door, okay?”

Hector then opens the bedroom door, and exits. When the door is completely close, Widdershins slowly sits upright, moving his legs to the side of the edge. Widdershins lets his hands rest on the soft bed, staring at the clock hanging above the door.

Widdershins isn’t sure what exactly happened, but he’s glad that it’s over now. He might as well listen to Hector, and take the time to freshen up now.

[ofbluesandyellows]

Committed to the Cause (Part 3) - TASM! Peter Parker / Fem! Reader

Summary: Peter finds himself neck-deep in this, he wants to come clean, trouble arises but Peter knows his priorities, and you are the most important one.

Word count: 9,673

Warnings: Mentions of blood, injuries, and fluff. 

a/n: Well, I just want to thank you all for reading, hope you like this last part, took me a moment to put it together but I hope the little wait had been worth it. See ya next time :)

Part 1 - Part 2

Peter had never been scared for his life, or at least not since he became Spider-Man. 

He was used to getting hit, kicked, shot at, bombed and more recently; staved—more times than he wanted to count. But seeing the prototype Stark industries has been working on, and this one being robbed from one of the safest places in the country, made his skin crawl. 

It all escalated to another level of fear when this prototype got used to cause harm to others, that made his body tremble and then again not for him but for the people he shared the sky with; for aunt May primarily, for the guy he bought coffee from every Saturday, the lady that always shook her head with a kind smirk whenever Peter appeared at her store to do a last minute shop. 

For you.

This was a new discovery, he had gone to your place when this man with enormous wings first appeared in the darkness of a cold night. Peter just wanted to make sure you were safe. And after the relief of seeing you trying to fold your clothes in the safety of your apartment he left and went on to confront this vulture threat. 

Peter fought with all his will but he got beaten and it had been a dumb move to go and crash-literally-at yours when he was bleeding too much, lungs burning, but if he was going to go; to leave earth, to die… he wanted to at least see your face once more. Peter thought that’d be nice, a good way to say goodbye.

Lucky Peter, he survived, one more chance was given to him. In juxtaposition, this just made him notice how weak he was being, how easy it was for him to make the same mistake over and over again. 

Peter wanted more than anything to be able to talk to Peter 1 and Peter 2 about this desperation and the way his whole body was being dragged to you without his permission, unbidden thoughts and unbidden actions were taking over even when he was fighting against them with all his might. 

You were becoming an essential part of his life and wanting it or not Peter was not ready to accept it.

Aunt May had pointed out the amount of flowers he had brought her over the weeks but Peter only shrugged with a tint of red spreading on his cheeks, guilty. The signs were there, but he refused to acknowledge them. 

The thing was that most of the times he tried to cover up his own choices, like when he decided to go buy flowers, he didn’t even see you at the shop, damn Jerry was always there and even though he hadn’t been condescending after the first time they met Jerry still gave him the cold shoulder and ignored Peter when he asked about you. 

Because Peter knew it was the polite thing to do, right? To ask about you.

But Peter took the opportunities as they came, he would buy flowers from Jerry and then casually appear at the shop just when he knew Jerry was not going to be there just to see you. 

How clever he felt when he caught you on your own, having the chance to chat with you in his normal self, no masks or spandex suits. How stupid can one be to trip over the same rock twice. Peter should have known that keeping you close, that by staying near you he was putting you in danger, unwanted danger. As if Gwen’s demise hadn’t been enough punishment to go through, as if he wanted to get his heart broken and stepped on again. 

Worst part was…. he couldn’t help it, Peter enjoyed spending as much time with you as he loved to experiment and find quantum formulas to prove the multiverse. Peter felt bad and guilty, afraid, and excited. 

This time Peter had bought flowers from that one shop he used to buy daisies back in the day. He wanted a moment of trueness with Gwen. He sat in front of the gravestone, placing the flowers down, he let the words flow. 

“Am I wrong Gwen? Am I a monster for wanting this? Am I being a bad boyfriend if I… pursue this… feeling?” He asked and wondered if Gwen could hear him beg for one of his questions to be answered. “I shouldn’t be doing this… any of it and heaven knows—you know I didn’t do it for any outcome other than ease the blame, what I did to her was an accident, yet I can’t find myself to stay away.”

Peter felt like choking on his words and on the flooding of emotions he was experiencing. 

“Selfishness has taken me to the kind of regret one can’t come back from. I miss you Gwen, and I don’t know what to do with all these shitty feelings.” He clenched his fist over the fabric of his jacket, right over his chest. “I should’ve known I was condemned to pain and suffering. Spider-Man can’t have peace, we both know that. But Peter deserves a normal life, if only this was as easy. To keep them both in different cages, we know it’s not possible.” He felt the hot tears prickle his eyes and nose. “If it was, I would’ve done anything to keep them at bay and just make you happy, protect you.”

The tears fell, swallowed by the ground. A breeze suddenly took over and Peter knew Gwen was listening, his heart skipped a beat. He let a laugh escape his lips as he sniffed, this was all a bit mad even for him but he was not letting the chance go by, even if he was being delusional, this was better than nothing.

“Hi Gwen,” he smiled at the gravestone, the one he had memorized by now. He took into account that he wasn’t sure how Gwen looked like anymore, the image of her had slowly faded with time and repeated memories. This thought didn’t hurt as much as it used to. “So… any advice? How unfair is it that I— your boyfriend is asking you for love advice to get closer to another girl?” He laughed, when a strong sweep of wind carried leaves and small sticks with it, poking at his skin. “I’m a fucking idiot I know that, no need to get violent.”

Scratching his cheek, where stubble was starting to get thicker, Peter waited, thinking of how to get an answer out of ghostly Gwen. 

After a couple of minutes, he cleaned the wetness out of the corner of his eye and sighed. “Okay, so if you agree with what I’m about to say, you need to create some kind of breeze or something, if you disagree, well you just don’t, yeah Gwen? show me some wind if you understand me,” 

Madness.

Peter shook his head, he couldn’t believe he was doing this. But yeah, a light breeze caressed his cheeks, it sent a shiver down his spine. Creepy, in a cool way, Peter thought.

“Holy shit, okay. Well… um, should I stay away from her? From y/n, even though I broke her arm?” 

Nothing.

“Should I visit her?” 

Wind. 

“As Peter, and just keep Spider-Man for New York City only?”

No movement.

“Gwen, come on. I need to keep her safe.” Again, the ambience in the cemetery remained unmoving.

Peter’s brows knitted.

“So you want me to… share both sides of me?” strong chill air hit his cheeks, he wanted to roll his eyes, knowing Gwen wouldn’t appreciate it.

“That’s insane, you’re talking nonsense now Gwen. I haven’t even told May! No way you are asking me this.” 

Peter was standing up now, hands up in the air as he kept on complaining and trying to make sense of what Gwen was telling him.

“How am I gonna even say that! What if—what if she doesn’t want to see me again?” his chest contracted thinking about this possibility.

Both hands on his face, dragging down his skin. “I can't,” he mumbled. 

A woman and her children passed by his side, to which Peter quickly tried to compose himself, giving them a cordial nod, the woman threw him a worried look as the kid waved her little hand at him. 

The air rose again and Peter was afraid of what this could bring, his mind didn’t come up with any answers. 

“I—I’ll visit her tomorrow, but… I don’t promise anything Gwen, this is risky, you should know better than anyone.” 

A very light breeze made his skin cool down and a sense of tranquility invaded him. “I love you Gwen.” He said.

Peter felt a light tug at his heart, as if something had unraveled inside him, freeing him. He felt light and a little sad all together.

The flowers at the foot of the gravestone danced with the wind, Peter swallowed, hands in his jacket pockets, he walked away from the cemetery. 

•••

It cost Peter three days to finally gather some strength, his hands were sweating, which was unusual. Fingers brushed his hair a couple of times, but each time the brown locks only got messier and messier, he stopped a block down from your flower shop to look at himself in the reflection of a car parked there. He grimaced, but shrugged it off, there was no way he could fix his hair now. He left his beanie at home anyway, it was this look or nothing.

He was not leaving now, not when he saw Jerry get out of the store. It was his chance. 

The long strides he took were accompanied with big deep breaths, heart rate rising but he was okay with it. That until he saw you placing big bouquets of flowers in various buckets. Peter wasn’t sure how much time he stood there in the entrance watching you, but he felt his insides twist, as a smile on his lips grew wider when he noticed your two arms working in synchronicity again, no cast in the way, you didn’t need help no more. 

No more Spider-Man coming to the rescue. 

“What the fuck am I even doing?” Peter mumbled to himself as he tugged the end of his hair. But he shook his whole body, not minding the looks of the people passing by, with a big sigh he straightened and walked into the store.

The bell chimed and there you were, shiny eyes in his direction, your smile made it all worth it already. How infatuated was he to be feeling all sorts of ways just by one simple smile. 

“Hey!” Peter spoke first, standing there not knowing exactly what to do with himself. 

“Hi Peter! You want the usual?” you put the last bunch of flowers in the buckets and fully turned to him.

“Nope, I came to see you actually.” He cleared his throat, this was it, but first he pointed to your now free arm. “I see you are finally a free woman, how’re you feeling?” 

You grinned, instantly touching the skin of your arm, Peter saw a thin pale scar traveling all over it, until it hid in your rolled up shirt. He almost grimaced.

“It’s great! Those were the worst weeks ever, really annoying but anyway, I can take proper showers now, Like I took for granted this arm for so many years, but no more.” 

Peter let out a chuckle because you kept on rambling about how important your arm was, how it bent and yeah you had a lack of flexibility but you still needed to do physiotherapy to go back to normal. Even though he was enjoying your voice and the venting, he felt guilty still, how could he not. However he was one step closer to fixing it.

“So yeah,” maybe it was the way he was looking at you with doe eyes but he noticed your cheeks going flush and he cleared his throat. “Why did you want to see me?”

You got this Peter!

“Well… I—do you want to go grab lunch with me?” 

Your brows shut upwards, surprised. Peter knew he had messed up, shit. Gwen was wrong.

“I am busy right now, I have to wait for a van to come pick these up.”

Peter’s stomach plummeted, rejection sucked. “No, yeah of course, yeah no worries. I get it.”

“But tomorrow! I can tomorrow, Jerry can take care of the store for a couple of hours,” 

You were quick to say this and Peter took a second to absorb the words. “Su-sure yeah, tomorrow is totally fine,” 

His hand went to the back of his neck, he was beaming, inevitably feeling elated. “Do you have any requests? Because I know this place down Park Avenue.”

“Yeah, whatever it’s fine, you chose.” 

“It’s a good place, they serve a little bit of everything so you can pick Italian to Thai or Mexican, you name it, they have it! And the music they play is also cool, sometimes they let local bands play, especially on the weekends. We could also go again some other time-” He wanted to slap his face because he had no idea how to stop now. “Um, I pick you up here... Around three?” 

You grinned. “Yes, that’s perfect! Thank you for inviting me.” 

Peter felt the weird twist in his stomach, not knowing if letting it flow was a good idea but he let it either way. taking a step closer, he leaned and kissed your cheek. 

“See you tomorrow then.” And there he went, Peter felt his whole body buzzing. 

As he stepped out he waved at you. The reflection on the crystal barely let him see you but your hand was covering your cheek the same one he had just kissed, lips forming a soft smile. He couldn’t believe he asked you out and you said yes. Fuck, Gwen you were right–up to some extent–he still needed to tell you the most important part but this, this was a big step already. 

Peter didn’t feel alone anymore. And he didn’t want to be. He was giving his heart another chance, another chance on love. After a long time Peter finally felt hopeful about the future. 

The next day, Peter spent way too much time trying to pick up an outfit, he had never felt the need to dress up nicely. Not even in his graduation he did it, so now it felt weird but necessary. So he tried four different dress shirts, they ended up looking way too formal, and his band t-shirts were too… ordinary for this. So he tried a red sweater that made him feel like he was attending a Christmas party, and the other sweater he tried was a navy blue that had a tiny hole on the wrist, but he liked how he looked on that one, it was casual but not boring… well it was boring but it was better than his other option so he shrugged, putting on a brown corduroy jacket and his hair; that was another story. He could try and tame it as best as he could but he knew better, it was a lost cause so Peter let it stand in different directions, he even put a little styling cream to make it look effortlessly messy or whatever that style teens were calling it these days. At the end it was looking more messy than before and it curled up a bit, so he gave up and went to put some fragrance on. 

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he felt a pang of guilt, as a déjà vu appeared in his reality. It felt like all those times he had gone out with Gwen, just that he didn’t have to prove himself or try hard. You were different from Gwen, Peter knew that, and in no way he was comparing you two, however he was doing a comparison on himself; the one young, naive and way too positive version of himself had left him with nothing much. Now he was trying his best to build up his confidence back up and opening up to love was hard, masochistic even, he enjoyed the doomed version of himself, who suffered and never found a way to be happy. But he was feeling happy now, even excited about taking you out for lunch, even if this didn’t take him far with you, he knew at least he was trying. 

Deep down he was hoping and wishing for things to work out with you–eventually–heaven knew he needed to take things slow.

On his way downtown, Peter tried to come up with ways to tell you he was Spider-Man, obviously not an easy thing to simply blurt out, but maybe that was the best way to do it, just to spill it out and wait for a reaction. Or perhaps just say it and flee if things don't go smoothly.

As he walked down a street a strong wind almost served him a scolding, Gwen was not happy with that idea, he smiled. Gwen was a part of him now, and he had come to terms with it. Not a ghost or a hunted image, more like a Jiminy Cricket, like he was talking to a friend.

The hairs on his arms and neck stood up, a chill covered his whole body, a moment later a cool strong swipe or air came around him, this wasn’t Gwen’s doing. His worst nightmare only got confirmed seconds later as he saw it flying not high enough to be confused for something else.

Peter took a second to examine the surroundings. People were unaware of the villain overflying the city, so was the police, everyone so immersed in living. 

The vulture was not flying around for fun, it was chasing something. The first grenade fell, rumbling on the ground making Peter run, he had his suit on, as always but he wanted to wait as long as he could to use it, just to avoid more damage. 

Vulture had other ideas of course, he was dropping grenades here and there sidetracking his location, taking the police in the wrong direction as he followed a van, Peter was running, earphones tuning in the police station, they had two possible leads, the vulture was either following an armored truck, or trying to get the social media’s attention for his next big move.

Peter didn’t think it was the latter, he wished he had reacted sooner, the vulture was getting nearer downtown and Peter’s chest was tightening with each turn and every crossed street. 

His Peter tingle was at its highest point, people screaming, smoke, and fire coming from cars and buildings. The blocks he ran went by in a blur, the only shop in his mind appeared in seconds, and there you were, standing on the door, letting people in if they asked. Even if Peter felt some relief the rush of blood was making him all jittery.

“Y/n!” he shouted, your eyes found him. Peter ran, taking off his earphones, he instantly put his arms on your shoulders. “You need to get somewhere safe, this is not… gonna end well, you really need to go.”

Peter had noticed that the street he was on hadn't been attacked yet, but this feeling was bothering him and he needed to make sure you were as far away from danger as possible, this became his number one priority the minute he felt the spider-senses kicking in.

“What? Why? What is happening over there? We heard people crying and everyone kind of freaked out and–” 

“It’s… there are bomb attacks happening, everyone on the streets need to head to a safe place, something could happen any second.” His eyes were intently looking at you, you blinked, looking around, people were starting to run down the street looking up to the sky. “Do you understand?” 

“Ok, yeah I get it, we all can get in the back of the store, where I make the bouquets, we should be safer there. I can let more people in,” you made your way around him.

Peter grunted, he always fell for stubborn girls after all. Fuck.

“What! No, no, you need to get the hell away from here, please y/n, listen to me.”

“I-Okay, I am listening but it doesn’t make any sense! where do you want to go?“

There was no time, Peter felt it in his core, he could sense it just in time to scream at the other four people in the shop, “Everyone down!!”

The grenade landed not very far from the shop but just far enough to not make the whole place crumble like a gingerbread cookie, at least not yet.

His body covered yours, Peter felt something cut though his back. It didn’t matter, it was all right, you were safe.

“You okay?” he asked you, face mere inches to yours. 

You coughed, smoke clouding everything. “I think so… what the fuck is happening!!!” Peter sat down and even if he tried not to, he winced at the feeling of a glass piece ripping tissue somewhere at his back. “Are you hurt?” 

You quickly reincorporated, eyes wide and shaky hands you crawled near him, Peter didn’t want you to move but it was stupid to try and stop you.

“Shit Peter, we need to go to the hospital, this isn’t good.” 

His heart felt all kinds of things, the worry, the panic in your voice made him feel important in a way he hadn’t been in a long time, but the way you looked at him with teary eyes, begging for the yes answer. One he couldn’t give.

“I can’t go, not right now.” 

Somewhere another rumble and screams unleashed, and Peter knew this was the moment he needed to stop the menace.

“Peter, you need to see a doctor, you will make it worse if you don’t.” Tears marked a trade down your dusty cheeks. His heart churned.

“I will, but later. I— listen y/n, this isn’t the ideal situation nor how I imagined telling you this but…” He looked around and noticed the other people there were either staring at them or trying to get out of the shop as fast as they could. Then again, not the ideal scenario but fuck it. “I am Spider-Man.” he let out fast.

Okay, he said it, yet he didn’t get the freeing sensation he thought this would bring.

You blinked, making a few tears fall. “What?” 

“Oh god, don’t make me repeat it.” But you were just staring, clearly in shock. “Jeez… well yeah, I am Spider-Man. I’ll apologize properly for not saying anything to you earlier, because I hope that you want to hear my explanation, even if I lied, well, technically I didn’t lie, i just omitted information, which is normal in this situations because you know how these things are, I just– I need to really go and do something about this…” hand gestures all over the place.

Gulping you nodded. “That explanation can wait, I guess oh— okay, yeah, I’ll wait, cool.” your eyes found his and you let out a scoff. “SHIT!” 

You were processing it, he couldn’t blame you.

Peter sighed. He got up, smoke still lingering in the air, there was no one there anymore. 

“Can you look after my clothes?” Peter randomly asked. 

In a shift move Peter ripped off the glass piece from his body, he didn't give it too much thought. He knew his priorities, a little cut was not impending him to protect the city, especially knowing you were still out here.

“Sure, of course. I mean I can! Can’t I, Spider-Man!?” Your voice was a mix of anger and surprise and your cheeks were red, but you still piled Peter’s clothes on your arms in harsh movements. 

Peter watched you with a funny look. “Thought you were cool with it.”

“Oh shut up, would you!” 

Peter winced, putting his mask on.

“Be right back, okay? Just one last thing…” Peter felt so bad for leaving you, so he did what he thought best. “Sorry about this.”

He wrapped an arm around your waist and in a second you two were flying up in the air, your arms and legs instantly wrapped around his waist and neck koala style. Peter would’ve enjoyed the moment if the city wasn’t in flames and chaos. 

“Oh my, oh my, fuck fuck fuck.” you mumbled on his neck, he couldn’t help to let out a chuckle. “Don’t fucking laugh, Peter! This is awful,”

And you screamed as he plummeted from the sky. He let you down on a street he was certain was secure.

“I’ll compensate for the bad date with a million good ones I promise.” 

You wanted to laugh, but you only grimaced, holding his clothes closer to your chest. “We are stuck together Spider-Man… you promised.”

Spider-Man stood there, he had meant every word he had said to you, still a small bubble of doubt bursted in his mind. 

“What about Peter?” his breath hitched.

It took you a beat to reply. “Of course Peter too, are you kidding me! After all we’ve been through!” 

“Really?” If only you could see his face, all soft and eyes almost watery, a hand went to his chest, his heart pumping blood to a dangerous pace. The moment being interrupted by the loud sirens echoing down the streets. “I am so relieved, glad that you said that but we may have to reschedule this talk ok? I gotta go now.”

“I’ll be here waiting!! Please be safe! Stay away from knives!”

That’s the last thing Peter heard before his Spider-Man self came full force. His back was aching, the pain wasn’t enough to stop him from swinging.

Police cars, the sirens of ambulances, everything was chaos in downtown. He helped pedestrians who were stuck in buildings, under debris or kids trying to find their moms and dads. He did the best he could but Spider-Man wasn’t able to do everything, no matter how hard or how fast he tried to be, it was never enough. 

The vulture was the kind of threat he needed to extinguish fast. He couldn't let him do anything, definitely not giving him the chance to prepare another ambush because whoever was maneuvering those wings was a clever man and nothing good came from that kind, he knew well. Spider-Man was ready to fight, however all he did was track him down and eventually when Spider-Man fought, he did his best. The advantages weren’t on his side unfortunately. 

The vulture did as much damage as he was able to.

“Time to try these taser web balls.” Peter mumbled as he unlatched a cartridge from inside his boot. “You give me no choice birdy.”

The vulture was up in the air, ready to attack Spider-Man, gunshots flung past the arachnid, he did his best to avoid getting shot. Being afraid and tired after fighting, he still had hope, he had a reason to be. This could be it.

His thread of webs splattered on walls as he balanced, trying to gain as much momentum as he could, changing moves as we went so the vulture wouldn’t track him nor detect the trick up his sleeve. 

His body moved fast, Spider-Man spun and his attention focused on the target, mid air, more than twenty stories up he shot from his right wrist as three sparkly web balls crossed the sky, and from his left he pressed a button on his web shooter, it clicked as a tiny blue light pulsed on his wrist and another splash of web came out. This one quickly stuck to the wings of the villain, a barely noticeable tracker had been successfully placed, meanwhile the web balls splashed one on his legs and the other two exploded mid air, like little fireworks of sticky fluid. A distraction

The vulture laughed as he flew higher, his leg exploded seconds later, the laughter of the villain morphed into a cry. Peter was swinging and following the villain as all this happened. He knew that this was not going to last long, so he shot a few more explosive balls that got caught somewhere on the vulture’s suit. But this wasn’t enough to stop him. 

Spider-Man seemed fine, yet Peter was panting, holding in pained moans. Everything hurt, from his back all the way to his legs, in one of them he had the vulture’s feathers stuck on his skin.

“Funny how you think your little webs can stop me.” Vulture said with that croaky voice Peter hated. “This is just the beginning Spider-Man, you won’t be able to shoo me away any more.” His body went higher.

“Oh come on, you’re leaving so soon, we are barely starting to know each other. Don’t leave, birdy, or are you afraid of spiders?” 

This little chat distraction served him to land a kick on the vulture's side. “You fucking spider, you are paying for this.”

And the threat didn’t feel personal, not until Peter saw the intentions of the villain. The few grenades the vulture had plummeted as he got higher over the city, not minding where those could land. 

In a slow motion Peter saw them fall on the only place he thought wouldn’t be touched. His blood went cold. Nothing mattered anymore, no police call, no ambulance, no scream, no warning. Peter needed to get to you.

“No, no, please not again.” As he moved between buildings, cars and panic, Peter felt tears blurring his sight, his whole body felt the dread and agony on his chest as it tightened, lungs burning as his body succumbed to the anguish.

He didn’t want to lose you, he wasn’t even able to think of losing you too. There had been enough suffering in his life, first Ben, then Gwen. Peter couldn’t lose you. Heartbeat increasing. Hands shaking but Peter kept on balancing, moving, he could be helping the ones that needed him, he needed you most. For the first time he was choosing himself.

Landing on a street surrounded by smoke and sorrow, he didn’t know what to do. Peter inhaled, shakily.

“Y/n?” He tried to scream, but Peter felt scared, fear took over him as he walked around.

He shouted your name a couple more times, each one louder, more desperation staining his words.

“Please, where are you!” 

Peter Parker believed in higher forces, but never in miracles because life had been awfully unfair to him to the point of leaving no room for optimism and hope, even less for magic, even though Dr. Strange had changed that whole perspective, however he was not in his reality. 

There was this exact moment where a shadow emergen between dust and coughs, between the cries and sirens, he felt your body clash into his, hard and warm, in this moment Peter decided everything was possible. Miracles were actually real.

“Holy shit!” He sighed, holding you as close as bodies were allowed to.

Peter was grateful to have a mask on because he’d been crying for a good five minutes, and his eyes were prickling, probably bright red. 

Holding your face in his hands, examining every inch of your skin. “Hey, hey, you are bleeding, are you okay?” Peter’s spandex covered hand caressed your cheek, a cut there, and another one on your lip, but he didn’t see any other wound.

“I am fine, I just… I lost your clothes.” 

Peter let out a chuckle. “It’s fine, I didn’t even like that sweater,” you hands gripped at his hurt back, you noticed how his body went stiff.

 “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Peter?” your hands went up now, to his masked face, you knew the rules, of course you were not going to peel off the mask but you kind of wanted to make sure he was indeed fine. This made Peter’s heart squeeze and his belly twisted weirdly.

“I am fine now, don’t worry about me please, just tell me you are okay.” 

He brushed your hair away from your face, he could see your wide eyes and dried lips, your skin covered in grime and smelling like smoke.

“Truly, I am fine, we got to hide in the restaurant’s basement… why they have a basement I have no idea, but the point is that you are hurt Peter don’t lie to me, I see the blood.”

Peter waved a hand. “It'll heal,” His eyes weren’t able to leave your face, you didn’t notice but he could look at you for hours, the way his body relaxed now was making everything hurt ten times worse. Adrenalin already dissolving in his system, which wasn’t good.

“Spider-Man!” 

He let you go, annoyed he turned, caught a few policemen walking towards him. 

“I’ll see you later, yes? I still need to do some work.” Maybe it was fear for what you could say to him but Peter turned around and swallowed the pain, jogging to meet the police.

The vulture escaped with weapons. The work didn’t stop there, people needed the city’s hero, and Spider-Man did what was expected of him. 

No matter if the big bird man succeeded, Peter won just by keeping his promise with himself; keeping you safe.

•••

Spring was your favorite season because flowers bloomed out of nowhere, colors seemed brighter and the air was cleaner, weather not too hot or too cold, it was perfect. 

The shop wasn’t as damaged as it seemed, cleaning it up had been a pain in the ass and it cost a few dollars to make it all pretty again, new paint and a new door made the shop even nicer than what it was. You could’ve been happy with all of this. 

For weeks you’ve been non-stop thinking about this whole situation. Your little crush on Spider-Man was more than that, you had feelings for Peter too which you already had some kind of connection with.

There had been signs, the way they moved, words both said, phrases, that laugh and now that you knew, it was so obvious, it made you feel a bit stupid for not noticing. The way Peter looked at you, how you felt comfortable but at the same time hyperaware. He transformed, in the suit, he was more confident, louder, heroic.

But it was the same boy all along, you would be lying if you said you weren’t a bit upset with how things had evolved, but  with the passing of days you found yourself missing him. A cute flower shop was in no way filling in the Peter Parker shaped hole you had in your heart.

He broke your arm, took you to the hospital, became a friend or something and then he left all the cards on the table for you to read and take or reject just to disappear when you decided to take all of it. 

So you waited, and waited for one, two, three, weeks. A month and then two. Peter didn’t show up at your shop nor your apartment, and even Jerry found it weird. 

“You should call him,” he advised one day.

“I don’t have his number,” 

Jerry snorted. “With the way he looked at you and you beamed when he was near I thought you would.”

Great, now even Jerry pointed out how stupid you’ve been.

It wasn’t as if Spider-Man had disappeared, of course not. He fought crime and at times he helped old ladies cross the street or would take cats down from trees. You read that on Twitter one morning, which made you feel even worse, as if you hadn’t been enough to stick around.

Crying was something you did a lot but only when you were in the shower, the water made your eyes less puffy and no one would hear you. It has turned onto a coping mechanism now. Pathetic.

One night as you sat on the couch, with a bottle of wine on your hand and a bag of chips on your lap, you were watching New Girl. Last season was your favorite because it was chaotic but it was happy and the troubles they went through were fixable, because they were with the right people.

So you tried to focus on that but Percy caught your attention. He was still looking out the window, it happened especially during the night. You were tired and yes it annoyed you. Percy wasn’t the one to blame though.

“Percy, come here,” you mumbled softly as the dog followed your orders. Putting it up on the couch he snuggled by your side. The chips found their place on the coffee table as Nick and Winston filled the silence in your apartment. 

“It’s just the two of us now Percy, if he didn’t want us, that’s fine, we can’t force him, he has stuff to do anyway, we aren’t a priority… so ” you shrugged. Nose tingling.

“Shit,” you didn’t want to cry. But Nick and Jess kissed and Schmidt and Cece were happily married and Winston found love and a job he liked, all the while you were alone and heartbroken. 

Inevitably hot tears came down and got swallowed by the collar of your shirt. Percy only looked at you, making you feel worse.

The crying stopped… At some point, you didn’t remember when because you fell asleep, waking up to the horrible pain on your neck thanks to the position you were sleeping in. 

You felt something heavy on your legs and as you moved you noticed it wasn’t Percy. A blanket was covering your legs. Frowning, you blinked, the sun was coming up now, orange skies made the room look warm. The room was clean, no chips, no wine bottle. Your eye caught a glimpse of sparkle on the side of the window. 

In a quick move you were standing by the glass door. Heartbeat speeding up. Web fluid was shining under the first rays of sunlight. 

“Peter,” you whispered, Percy now standing by your side, a new toy in his snout.

Two days later you arrived at the shop a bit late. Jerry was already there making bouquets and prepping a delivery for the afternoon.

“Morning,” you simply said. Jerry nodded, weirdly enough he followed you down to the back of the store where your working space was. 

You were too immersed in your own thinking to notice but there it was. The chime of a bell made you jump, just that this was not the shop’s bell. 

Pivoting on your spot, you saw Jerry standing by a bike. It was your bike.

Gasping, your hands went up to your mouth. “How did you-?”

“I didn’t! It was here when I arrived.” And Jerry left you there. Wondering.

It was the same color, shinier, better; the handlebars were different but you didn’t care. You loved it. Looking around you tried to see if there was a note or a clue. It was obvious who did it yet you wanted proof, you wanted something other than the bike, you wanted… needed to see Peter again.

After many bouquets, cut stems and getting stabbed by thorns, Jerry stood by your side.

“Um… My brother took the car today. And since you have a new bike I was wondering if you would lend it to me to deliver the flower arrangement to Mr. Whiteman.”

You let out a laugh. “Hell no, Jerry. I haven’t even used it. If someone is doing so it’s gonna be me, so no. I am taking the arrangement to her. So you stay here and I’ll be right back.”

Jerry put his hands in the air and took a step back. “Right, sorry. It was just an idea.”

“A bad one, but I forgive you.”

Jerry helped put the arrangement on the extra big basket on the bike. You put on your dusty forgotten helmet and waved at your co-worker. 

You didn’t see this but Jerry smiled. “Parker, you owe me big time.”

Mr. Whiteman paid extra for the early delivery and thanked you for such a thing. You loved the mix of lilies, the white carnations and baby's breath all of them soft making the orange roses stand out. And the smell was sweet and unique.

You felt happy as you moved around the city. Your bike was back, not sure if it meant something or not but you opted to not ponder much on that thought, a red light stopped you from making a turn and your eyes caught up the glimmer of web. 

Having to blink a few times only made the feeling stronger. You looked up, the sun didn’t let you see much but you hoped with all your heart that Peter were near, even if you and him were not speaking you always wished he was close enough. 

The rest of the day went by calmly, you went on your bike back home and the moment you entered your apartment Percy was at your side jumping, tail intently whipping, he hadn’t been this happy for your arrival since… well since never. But it was the smell of food that made your heart somersault.

Bike crashed on the floor as you entered the kitchen. A couple of boxes rested there, you knew the restaurant well, it was the one Spider-Man or better said, Peter brought food from often. 

A sigh escaped your lips after you checked the whole apartment. No trace of him other than the obvious boxes. You waited to eat, changing into comfortable clothes, putting on some music and sitting at the kitchen table, which somehow felt very empty. 

As you grabbed a small box, you caught a glimpse of a bright green post-it on the base of it. You took it. 

Hi, I got you your favorites. I still want that date to happen but I have to figure a few things out, first. 

I understand if you don’t want to wait, because it’s selfish of me to ask that.

I am sorry for everything, y/n.

-Peter  :)

At his name you noticed how he scratched the drawing of a smiley face, your shoulders slumped. Whatever it was Peter needed to figure out you were letting him. He was around when you broke your arm—well, he broke it but he tried to make things better—so you were giving him time. You gave him two months already, you could wait a while longer.

•••

Peter had been following you all this time, a habit he had caught since Gwen, it was just to be sure you were okay. Since the vulture issue, he wanted to be extra sure of things. That man being on the loose had cost him a lot of time. After several days of nonstop investigations, sleepless nights and injuries Spider-Man found the right leads and now he was waiting. 

On the rooftop of a building he watched as you entered a grocery store. An unbidden smile on his lips.

His phone buzzed on his palm, the name of a police officer flashed on the screen. His whole body went rigid.

“Please tell me you got him.” Peter spoke, no greetings, no politeness he had been carrying this dread for long enough. 

“We got him Spider-Man, your insider or however the hell you got that information from was right. We found Adrian Toomes near Hell’s Kitchen. They’re processing him as we speak. Good job.”

The moment he hung up. Peter couldn’t wait, he had done that more than enough. An idea popped in his brain, looking at the clock on his phone he calculated another fifteen minutes or so until you walked out the store so he swung a few blocks and crossed the street, instantly eyeing the place.

“She is going to hate me for this,” he mumbled as he stepped into a flower shop.

It was a nice store, probably a very expensive one now that he thought about it, he shrugged and picked a bouquet. The one he chose was simple, nothing out of this world but tulips were not like daisies.

“Wow you are really Spider-Man!”

Someone squealed, he turned around.

“Hi!” He waved at the woman at the desk. “How much for these?”

“Those just arrived, and they are not cheap but, I mean you are freaking Spider-Man! So it’s nothing, you can take them! My boss would be so pissed if I charged you,”

The woman was beaming at him, Peter felt slightly uncomfortable but that was part of the job. Still he felt weird taking the flowers for free.

“No ma’am I can’t just take them,”

“You need to! Look what if we take a photo just to show to my boss and you take them in exchange”

There was the catch. The woman looked at him expectant, Peter grunted a bit but he weighed his options. With a movement of the head and a sigh he gave in, he was in a rush.

“Sure okay, c’mere” and the photo was taken.

“Oh thank you Spider-Man my friends won’t believe me!”

“Cool, um thanks for the flowers! Gotta head out.”

And the woman totally forgot about him. 

“Jeez, these people don't know how to be cordial anymore.” he mumbled, shaking his head.

Webs crossed the sky landing on buildings as he flew. His phone buzzed and a headliner flashed on his news messages, opening it, it showed the photo of Spider-Man doing a peace sign, with tulips on his hand. They used him to promote the flower shop. The internet was going crazy.

He smacked his free hand on his face, oh you were definitely going to hate him for that.

He would deal with that when the time came, now he needed to get to you. A smile on his face was inevitable. Heart pounding so loud he could feel it in his ears.

“Heads up! Spidey is here!” He shouted, getting just enough attention from the nearby pedestrians. 

You saw him approach, Peter grabbed you by the waist, not stopping, you squealed, holding onto him and your grocery bag as if your life depended on it.

“I am sorry, I’m sorry. We’ll be down in a second.” Peter rushed to say.

Swears and a few punches later, Pete let you down on top of the Empire State Building. You gasped and almost fell on your knees. 

“Whoa!” Peter took off his mask as he tried to steady you. Maybe he acted too harshly this time but he didn’t want to waste a second.

“You… you really want me dead Peter!” was the first thing you said to him.

Wow he had missed you. Peter thought with a lopsided grin on his face. “I need to keep the tradition going. Stay committed, you know?” 

You scoffed. “You could’ve invited me to grab coffee or something.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. Sorry. Here, it’s not coffee but maybe it helps.” Flowers a little smushed together were standing bright yellow between Peter’s fingers.

You practically snapped them from his grasp. “You better have bought these from us.” sounded like a threat.

“Er… I was expecting to say this later but no, I had no time to go to Jerry, but hey I made an effort, so yeah… sorry. They’re pretty!”

Your eyes went from the flowers to his face. “I like them, now please stop saying you are sorry.”

“Fine, I won’t say it again.” he cleared his throat. “ I apologize for staying away for so long and for everything, all the lies, the secrets, the arm, the food, the treason to your shop. I know it isn’t enough to compensate what I did, but your bike–Did you like it at least?” 

He was fidgeting with his mask, dammit why was he so nervous.

“I did, thank you for that too. And… “ you let out a loud sigh. “It's all fine Peter. I understand how hard it is, and you said it, your identity needed to stay a secret, but—“

Not the buts. Peter’s chest tightened.

“Let me explain, I—I was keeping my distance because I like you. I like you a lot, it’s crazy how much you mean to me, and I don’t want to make you feel weird, I’d never do that… not on purpose anyway… so the point is that I had to make sure the vulture was gone, for real, forever. I’ve lost people I loved and cared for, I didn’t want to risk it all again.”

He saw you gulp and squeeze your eyes hard. After a long second you spoke. “Am I a risk to you?”

“What?!” this was not what he meant. “Of course not, I am the risk, I ruin things. It’s just all part of the Parker luck. Listen. I want to take you out on a date, and I needed to have some kind of peace of mind with these mother fucking villains coming out of nowhere, some reassurance they were not going to come near us. To finally do this properly. And I know we met in weird circumstances—“

“Peter, stop rambling,” you laughed. “I really understand that, and it hurt me that you left without saying a word for months but I get that the city needs you. And I’m glad you are here now, this is fucking weird and it annoys me  that you had to bring me to the fucking top of the highest building to say these things but I love how we found our way through this unusual encounters. So yes! Let’s go on a date and watch New Girl and you can keep on winning Percy over because he has missed you just as much as me or even more!” 

And Peter deflated, his body was tingling in that nice way he still found foreign. A sudden swirl of wind made your hair dance and Peter knew Gwen had somehow approved of all of it.

Thank you.

“You are the best, have someone told you that?” He took a step closer.

“Yeah all the time, Jerry always says it.”

“Hmm, I don’t appreciate that tone.” He acted offended but you smirked and he beamed, feeling like he could melt right there at your feet.

“It’s what you deserve… so now can you please take me down from here?” You begged. 

Peter sighed. “What about the cool view?”

“It is a great view, don't get me wrong but I am terrified, please Peter.”

With a light chuckle, Peter grabbed your hand and placed it around his neck.

“Hold tight,” He put his mask on.

“Oh god, not again.”

Your face hid on the crook of his neck, as he started the intense commute back to yours. 

Squeezing your waist Peter tried to catch your attention. “I need to come clean with another important issue.”

“Oh no, Peter. What now?” You squealed as he made a sharp turn.

The bag of groceries smacked his back every now and then, the flowers were not going to survive the trip. 

“You won’t like this so anyways, here it goes… I finished New Girl and my theory was right, Cece and Schmidt ended up together.”

“You watched it without me!” for a second there you forgot you were soaring through the dark skies of Manhattan. You punched his shoulder, Peter laughed.

“It reminded me of you! I had to do it. Keep you near somehow.”

Peter landed softly on your balcony. He took off his mask in a swift move, the other hand still on your waist, you squinted at him, Peter bit his lips to not smirk.

“You are really a pain in the ass Peter. I’m really offended and it’s also very sweet of you to say that.”

Now it was his turn, cheeks going warm, his belly fluttered. “Just the truth there.”

A sudden bark broke the magic happening in the balcony. Percy scratched the glass door until you opened it just for him to quickly welcome Peter.

“See? He missed you more than me.”

Peter squatted to pet Percy. “That’s not the kind of phrase I wanted to hear after I said nice things to you.”

“I said you were sweet!”

“Well I wanted to hear it again. You are cute when you are slightly upset, maybe even cuter than Percy here.”

You rolled your eyes. “Thank you, and yes I am being sarcastic.”

As you went inside to leave the groceries and find a vase Peter grabbed your hand. He took the bag from you. “I’m joking, of course you are the most beautiful girl in the world. Now let me help you with that.”

From the corner of his eye, Peter saw you hide your face between the beaten up tulips, then you followed him inside.

“Want some tea?” He asked you, as he watched you carry a blue vase around. His whole body felt funny. This was the first time he was in his Spider-Man suit, mask out in the apartment with you there. He liked how natural and comfortable he felt, Peter could get used to it.

You scrunched your nose. “Too warm for that. I have beer and I can make some spaghetti.” 

Peter shook his head. “I’m not letting you cook.”

“Then what are we gonna eat?” you put the vase on the kitchen table, you crossed your hands. 

“Have bread and cheese?” 

“I actually do.”

“Say no more! Give me ten minutes and dinner will be ready.” Peter clapped his hands and went full chef mode on. It wasn’t the biggest meal prep but his cheese toasts were always the best, at least May appreciated them even when those were not ‘nutritional enough’ as she would point out.

He felt you observing his moves, but it didn’t bother him, he felt at home.

After a moment, he heard the tv go on, your voice reached his ears. “No way!”

“What is it?”

“Have you watched How I met your Mother?” 

Peter’s brows knitted together. “No, I don’t think I have. Is it good?”

“Oh, Peter. You are going to love it!”

Beers popped open, and both sat down, Percy chewed his almost destroyed spidey toy, Peter ate his toasts and you complimented his chef skills to what he waved a hand off dismissing the words, knowing he wasn’t as good as you praised him to be.

Peter wasn’t exactly looking at the tv, his eyes were on the night sky. A clear night, and he wondered how he had come to this. A visit to Gwen, a wounded shoulder, a broken arm and then you took over his life. Nothing had ever felt so serendipitous in his life, but oh he loved how it turned out. 

Out of nowhere, a mere thought, he let it flow, covering his every cell. His head whipped your way, you caught the abrupt move, his eyes were searching for something, and yours were sparkling. Your heart was hammering, you couldn’t help but smile when he fixed himself on the couch, nearer.

A blink then two, Peter didn’t know if this was too soon yet he wanted to do it.

“I want to kiss you so bad,” 

If your grin grew wider it would’ve split your face in two, instead you simply mumbled a  “do it then Peter.”

And Peter did, his lips crashed with yours, warm and soft and it felt like everything he expected it to be. Tender and a little bit aggressive at one point, your hands in between his hair and his still gloved ones on the side on your neck and back. He wanted to rip off that damn suit to be skin to skin.

Both got swallowed by the moment, minds not really working, Peter was almost over you, grunts and little laughs mixed as your lips separated, red spandex thumb brushed your lower lip, his eyes were on you, traveling up and down your face, peck after peck until Percy complained about your lack of attention in his direction.

“Percy, for once I’m not choosing you,” As Peter spoke his lips brushed against yours.

“Finally” you replied, with a smirk. You couldn’t contain yourself, you grabbed his face and shoved it against yours again, Peter growled. The lack of air had both of you panting and giggling, lips swollen, eyes twinkling and bodies buzzing with desire and the blossoming seeds of love.

Peter hid his face on your neck, not moving from his position over you, careful not to squeeze you, you were not complaining though.

“I don’t need proper dates Peter, I like this.” you kissed the top of his head.

“Yeah, me too. I like being with you.” a soft peck on your neck, and he smelled coconut again, a sigh escaped him. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“Thank you for breaking my arm.”

He snorted, making you giggle.

“Hmm, I can fix that with bribery kisses, now.”

“Bribery kisses? Those are my favorites.”

Peter closed his eyes, humming, grinning and brushing your soft skin with his lips. The tv was making noise, but he was not listening, his ears only heard your heart beat and the growl of your voice, in that moment where everything was possible, mended bones and magic tights bandages, flowers and the power of a sit-com; Peter thanked his lucky stars for this. 

Peter 1 and Peter 2 would be surprised to hear how he found his own version of MJ. And Gwen. Well, Gwen had been all around, and this was all her doing after all. 

Peter wasn't alone anymore.

[bitchkay]

When you really think about it

Guy, Aquia, and Zev are perfect examples oldest–middle–youngest sibling syndrome

Cus first of all Aquia gives such middle sibling energy

People really do not pay him no mind💀

If Aquia wasn't such a sweetheart he could really be out here in these streets and nobody would know and possibly not care and that actually kinda sad

People pleaser, especially in regards to Guy, he really just wants Guys attention and approval SIMPLY AS A BROTHER but doesn't think hes worthy of Guys attention because he admires him so much, hes really independent but hes good at making good friends/companions, he's something of a peacemaker I guess hes good at being a mediator I thinks, Aquias actually kinda shy and pretty complicit so he doesn't fit into the 'act out for attention' stereotype unless someone can prove me wrong

Aquia is quiet too, like have yall clocked how invisible Aquia would probably be without the Avari name attached to him

I think Zev is the only one that's really ever given him a chance to talk but at the same time Zev loves to talk and loves the attention

Zev annoying Guy and Jasper in the short stories

That literally has youngest sibling written all over it

I would know.

Definitely spoiled, just wants attention bruh, will annoy talk to his older brothers at any opportunity, very extroverted, open(bro has no filter), sense of humor of the family-- "You've gotten so big, how old are you? 18?" "I'm 23." feels like hes been the same age for too damn long

Also Zev is a whore(affectionate but also derogatory but in a "I care about you" criticism kind of way) the youngest child is often never truely seen as full grown or able to reach the same level as their older siblings and while I think theres other things going on in there as well as think it could be completely unrelated, I conspire that Zevs "leisure pursuits" are a way for him to 'grow up' a little faster

And then we have Guy

Specifically oldest son cus oldest daughter is a WHOLE different category.

Indifferent to most things at this point, stubborn, not very expressive, domineering, more or less tolerates his younger brothers but wont go out of his way to entertain them, but were the opportunity to arise and he thinks they deserve it hed take them out just for a brief respite cus they're still his baby brothers, entitlement, old enough to drink around parents and know the juicy family gossip with older folks, shows signs of narcissism, "When are you going to get married?"

Being a child prodigy of some sort dosen't help his case either💀

Like ok gifted kid😋😋

Let's be honest all three of these boys need to go to therapy💀

Well I think everyone can benefit from therapy--

But this family INCULDING RAHM AVARI‼ ESPECIALLY RAHM‼‼ they need some group therapy, family therapy in here

I feel like I have to talk about ages again💀

I've probably made 3 posts about how the fuck do you even perceive how old they are now I'm thinking about yk these three and what their age differences are implied to be but that in relation to the lore associated with this corner of Avari-- yall lemne stop before I go off on a tangent hold on

[ecargmura]

My Happy Marriage Episode 9 Review - Arata Needs To GTFO

A new conflict arises in our engaged couple as a rift forms between them. None of them are at fault, but how long will it take for them to resolve everything and for them to be happy again. I’m honestly not prepared with the upcoming angst.

Miyo is someone who never had someone to ease her burdens growing up. She has always been shouldering everything ever since her youth. No matter how much Kiyoka wants her to air out her dust, she’s still airing her dust in a closed room with the window closed. Metaphors aside, I’m trying to say that Miyo is someone who is unable to depend on others due to her upbringing. That was why she was shouldering everything from not talking about how her nightmares were bothering her to how she wants to be the wife that Kiyoka deserves. I think Hazuki’s story about her divorce has warped her views in a negative way, honestly. She’s misinterpreting the message Hazuki was conveying onto her. What Hazuki wants from Miyo is to have a happy marriage without regrets. Miyo thinks that if she’s unfit to be perfect than she’s going to get divorced and that Kiyoka wouldn’t want her anymore. It’s frustrating to see her slowly revert back to how she was back then, but it’s understandable since trauma doesn’t go away instantaneously. I just wish Miyo had more courage and more confidence to speak up about her worries to her fiancé.

Kiyoka’s not exactly wrong nor is he exactly right in this episode. He’s wrong to have said he regrets letting her study and such. No person should bar the person they love of what they want. I know that he immediately regrets saying that, but it just shows that Kiyoka is still flawed and imperfect. He never fell in love before and never had the opportunity to shower a fiancé with attention and love like he does with Miyo now. He’s doing all he can to help her ease her worries and sorrows. I think the talk he had with Miyo in the night about how he wants Miyo to depend on him and to let out her worries was sweet. It shows that Kiyoka sees her as family and wants to be there for her as her husband. It hurts seeing him worried about Miyo and how his worries and anger are erupting. I just hope Kiyoka is able to resolve everything now that he got a lead on the Usuba family via the Tsuruki surname.

If gaslighting was a professional job, Arata would be the top in the industry. He’s such a snake. He’s the reason why Kiyoka and Miyo have a rift in their relationship now. Someone should punch him ASAP. I cannot stand this creepy fuck’s face. He’s doing this on purpose too and that irks me even more. You cannot tell me he made a mistake of coming to the Kudou manor thinking he’d be there; YOU KNEW HE WAS IN THE OFFICE AND YOU TOOK THE CHANCE TO PURPOSELY BE LATE JUST TO CHAT WITH MIYO! I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, YOU FOX! I hate that he’s spewing such drivel about worth and their marriage for ulterior motives. He’s gaslighting Kiyoka most of all as he keeps telling him that he’s not worthy of Miyo for he never pays attention to her, makes her worry and what not. SHUT THE FUCK UP! He has the AUDACITY to think he knows more about Miyo when he knows little about her as a person. 

Arata makes me angry. I just hope that his motives are revealed next episode because I cannot go another episode with this conniving bespectacled snake with his gaslighting tongue. What are your thoughts on this episode? Does Arata make you angry like he does with me?

[bonesandthebees]

So let’s talk paranoia. Wilbur’s paranoia is mainly because he’s trying to hide this meeting from his father and he knows exactly how Phil gets his info. Being seen is the same as being found out.

What more interesting is that he took off his ferronnière. We already know that Wilbur thinks it’s what marks his as his father son. He thinks the guards won’t recognise him without it. So when he does not want to be caught, he takes it off. But as Tomys said, he’s very tall so everyone knows how he is. So even without his ‘symbol’ Wilbur gets caught by his father.

His paranoia was justified and will now only get worse. On hos way back Wilbur debates not telling his father at all. Both because he doesn’t realise just how important the info is and because he deludes himself into thinking he can hide it. Wanting to hide things from your parents is a thing teenagers do, but I don’t think Wilbur has ever gotten the chance to do it, nor will the opportunity ever arise. His father always knows everything. So Wilbur can’t even keep his one little secret no matter how hard he tries.

Also, Phil waiting for him, bone-chilling. Every teen’s worst nightmare when sneaking out. And Phil instantly makes sure Wilbur knows that he knows exactly where he was and who was with him.

[“There are more eyes in this palace than the ones that are out in the open,” Phil told him] Well that’s not ominous at all. It essentially just means that there’s people watching the hallways from hidden spots, but still Phil’s being vague to make sure Wilbur will never try to lie again.

And I love this bit [“It’s fine, Wil. If you thought it was better to wait until afterwards to tell me, I trust your sense of judgement.” His words might’ve been that of reassurance, but his eyes were cold. ] it screams “I’m disappointed you didn’t know better” or “I thought I taught you better than this”. It screams disappointment.

[At this, Phil raised an eyebrow. “We?”] I love how you write Rose!Phil especially when he’s alone with Wilbur. His opinion’s shine through she clearly when he wants Wilbur to know and every time he’s disappointed it so obvious no matter how small it is (in a good way). We instantly know when Wilbur gave a wrong answer or said the wrong thing. It’s like an alarm going of telling him to backpadle.

But Wilbur stays firm in his annoyance for Tomys and his ��loyalty’ to Niki (because that’s getting overshadowed by him following his father’s word every time he can’t find a loophole. And then I’ve already talked about the rest of this conversation, so I’m cutting this off here.

(5/5)

-🎄

wilbur taking his ferronniere off was largely just to make him stand out a little less, but like you said it doesn't do much because he's still very recognizable. but also there's a metaphorical aspect in it. he thinks the ferronniere marks him as his father's son, and yet when he takes it off he's still constantly thinking of his father and how best to be the consil's son in that room. but he's also being pulled in the opposite direction. he's being encouraged to go against his father's wishes, and the fact that that happens when he's not wearing the ferronniere is not a coincidence on my end.

wilbur's never been able to keep anything from his father. phil has ears all over the palace, and no matter where wilbur hides he can't escape them.

phil's disappointment is subtle, but at the same time practically screaming in wilbur's face. phil knows that wilbur was going to try and lie to him. he's not stupid. he understands that wilbur is a teenager and he's going to get stupid ideas like this, he just wants to make sure wilbur is aware of how stupid and pointless it is so he doesn't try it again.

I really love writing rose!sandduos private interactions. they know each other so well, yet wilbur is still constantly stepping on landmines when talking to his father. he can never say the right thing. he can never get his father's approval. it's an uphill battle he feels like he's never going to win, but he has to get there at some point. he has to learn at some point. so he keeps trying.

[jjsanguine]

I've never had a white collar job and I'm also not a film analysis person so I've spent a lot of the time I've been watching Step By Step like, I don't know enough about offices to know some of the perplexing directions the plot/characters have gone in this show are what would naturally arise from working in such an environment, or if the writing + pacing are just frustrating.

I think the pacing especially is what's making the narrative just unspool in front of my eyes, because ferso I don't think you'd need to change any of the plot points to have a show that isn't frustrating.

I'm especially perplexed by how slow the slow burn was because Jeng didn't want to do a HR violation by dating Pat,,, only for Jeng to have been artistically engineering Pat's workplace success this while time so they would have more opportunities to hang out and Pat might like him back enough to want to date anyway. That seems like a a worse thing ethically them if they had just started secretly dating almost immediately like in A Boss And A Babe.

I'm not really surprised that Jeng control freak Kittipong would do such. But like what Jeng did to Pat by using his own money doesn't seem like a resolvable in one episode thing you get me. That feels like a ½ the runtime type of problem, it's literally the entire foundation of Jeng and Pat's relationship since Jeng knew Pat was going to be his employee.

Jeng + Pat's romantic relationship unspooled after only a few months 3 I think because Jeng refused to try to address or even talk about any of the exponentially growing number of obstacles to their relationship and Pat realised he's really not about that after briefly getting back with Put — which, controversial opinion, is totally fine actually !

Even Jeng + Pat's months long dating relationship being compressed into 2 episodes where basically all the audience sees is that they do a lot of unsubtle workplace flirting and have a lot of sex would be totally fine,,, if there were like 5ish episodes left for dealing with the fallout of that + how a second chance romance would even work when Pat's been burned by a controlling ex before. Twice.

Like *could* it take Jeng 2 years to really internalise that people get very upset when their agency is removed, given that it took him until he was in his 30s before trying to manipulate people like the wire stems in a bouquet of fake flowers ever blew up in his face quite so spectacularly? Yes. Is the audience going to see any of that journey? No.

*Could* it take 2 years of Pat working somewhere unaffiliated with Jian group, struggling with starting from square 1 as an intern, ignoring everyone's work advice again he's desperate to prove himself, especially ignoring Jeng's work advice because it's from Jeng specifically, taking Jeng's advice again because he's cooled down enough from the situation to not recoil from all things Jeng, to actually being open to have a relationship (not necessarily romantic one at first but just like, more than radio silence) with Jeng again? Probably. Will the audience see Pat's journey? No.

Therein lies the frustration. Premise good, execution eh.

[dykeyaoi]

what it feels like to use a Vision

or: a hodgepodge of ideas prompted by the UUOD Discord

Pyro: Flickering confidence, Pyro is adrenaline. It makes you feel like you don't need the other people in your party to help because you can protect them. You can do anything and come home unhurt at the end of the day. You can turn shields to ash and bodies to dust with Pyro's help. Or maybe you push back with just as much force to smother it, maybe you calm down and let it sputter out instead, for now. It'll be back. Pyro doesn't worry. It pours the heat and the heart of every candle and every roaring forest fire that's ever burned, and gives itself to you without limit.

Hydro: Every part of everything has a motion to it. That motion, under certain circumstances, can be redirected. Tapped into and altered with a ripple. When you're ready, it moves you first. You're pushed into the movement and given the chance to change it, to use it and to extract the purest form of motion it can give you: Hydro. Whether you use it for destruction or mending, it's ready for whatever instruction you give. You're part of the flow of the world, and to break out again is difficult so it gives you some of itself on the way.

Anemo: Nowhere in Teyvat are you far from Anemo's presence. The air surrounding everything is shockingly sensitive to those who can connect with it and it knows when to give you space or when you need its help. Anemo is your friend; it will give you a nudge in the right direction until you know you can take it from there, or let you figure things out on your own. It can fill you up with its life and energy or retreat and allow your hand. Let the wind lead, unless it wants you to. It's never been wrong yet.

Electro: Electro is the current of every signal that flashes for an instant before disappearing forever. It's brief and it stings, but it's connection. It's a lightningstorm that weaves a web over a hundred square miles of ocean and land alike, it's a shock between hand and doorknob. It makes your hair stand on end and your mouth get prickly like you've eaten citrus. Electro is a mounting annoyance when you don't release it; you want it out, to let it connect to something else, to the point that you almost have to use it in sharp bursts. It knows what it wants. You are its vessel.

Dendro: To put it delicately, Dendro is a parasite. From the moment you received your Vision it's been growing, wrapping around and rooting itself in your mind and desires, becoming one with you in order for you both to achieve your goals. It does not destroy, but it does take something out of you; growth requires fertilizer. It corrupts your wishes with a feeling that was never there before. It makes you uncertain but obsessive. It makes you want things more than you thought you could ever want anything in your life. And it will get you those things whenever its opportunity arises. Whether or not you mean for it to.

Cryo: What most people don't realize about the cold is that it's excitable. Irresistible, numbing, Cryo fills you with a thrill that you can't ignore. It's a call to action that works in its own self-interest by letting you use it as a weapon-- you give it the discipline you've learned so it can take care of the fun part. It attacks living things like a virus and swallows up their warmth like fuel. The reverse and equal to fire, it's fast and effective and brutal.

Geo: Solid and unmoving earth does not change for anyone and you are no exception. It's permanent and perfectly stable on its own, and that's how you can use it. When you need its power, the rock of a Geo Vision grows heavy within you, reminding you of its strength. Accepting this invitation reveals that solid and unmoving earth may not change for anyone, but it sure seems to be perfect for you. The terrain works flawlessly to your advantage and the ground itself sends up raw, pent-up potential energy to protect you with. It gives you everything you didn't know you need, the riches of the world on a silver platter that was already there.

[blankingbloom]

5/26/24

Dear Angelica (aka future me),

Hey! How are you? Before I start my thousands of questions, let me first say, congratulations on graduating and finishing your senior year of high school!!! this must be a bittersweet moment for you, as I am experiencing this at the moment as a junior watching the grades above me graduate and do senior activities. Graduating is a once in a lifetime moment, not everybody gets to graduate due to unfortunate circumstances, but congratulations! Thank you so much for staying strong, the k-12 system is literally horrible lol. I just wanted to say, I (17 year old Angelica) will forever be within you. I am you, but I want you to have no regrets or wising to be me because “life was so carefree” 💀💀 naw it’s not I’m suffering rn lmfao I have 3 summer classes, a job to juggle and volunteer opportunities to catch up on and college apps 😿 whomp whomp. I so desperately want to be you right now! It may feel insufferable at the moment and you feel lots of bittersweet feelings and loneliness being unleashed from hell (prison) (kleinisd) (kleinhigh); you should know that there is a whole chapter ahead of you and you’ve achieved a milestone! When something ends, a new opportunity arises. I hope you’ll feel better soon, knowing how I feel now will probably affect you 10x deeper (you’ll understand). Highschool for me was no fun adventure; I was barely sociable, barely any friends (like a few ofc I’m not a loser), I felt like I wasn’t on track to be my genuine real self anytime soon, but you have the opportunity to change that through college. I need you to be stronger for me until we get our masters in compsci 💀. Be an academic weapon once more for us plz!! I know you want that so bad. I know our experience wasn’t the best, especially during covid and certain situations, but there is a whole life ahead of us, that is depending on our actions. I trust us to keep it up! BTW Im missing a ton of the 2023 seniors, I can’t believe that it’s real. It low key hurt seeing everyone I had classes with especially in financial math, english, photography, and a&p graduate. It’s so bittersweet it low key hurt my feelings, especially seeing everyone I grew up with who were a grade above me. I don’t want to forget them at all, I want to remember who they are! I never peaked in high school, but I’m never going to see these people again, unless it’s by a rare chance someday, I doubt they would recognize me. I guess I just grew attached. Anyways, I have some questions LOL.

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

4. Are we still dating Ben?

5. Did we make any new friends?

6. What is your college essay about?

7. What made us stronger?

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

13. What’s our class schedule?

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

16. What’s your biggest worry?

17. Are you happy?

Thank you for reading this!! Respond to my questions soon. Goodbye! I will always be within you.

Sincerely, Angelica

____________________________________________________________

REPLY:

Hi Baby Angelica!

Since you're from the past, I have so so so much to catch you up on. Time flies by when you're consistently stressed out. But don't worry! I will answer your millions of questions first! Then we can actually discuss :)

1. What is our plan after graduating Highschool? What college are we going to?

A: We are doing Computer Engineering! After hours and hours of research, I wanted you to have opportunities in both the computer science and electrical engineering fields. I want you to have a lot of pathways so you can have tons of money and opportunities! We are going to UT Dallas. We got CAPPED from UT Austin and UW-Seattle was way out of our budget sadly. Maybe someday my love :(

2. Did we end up submitting any of our SAT/ACT scores?

A: Hell no, they were too low LMFAO

3. What’s your favorite song currently?

A: Talk by Beabadoobee, Antihero by Taylor Swift, any MSI song

4. Are we still dating Ben?

A: Yes <3

5. Did we make any new friends?

A: YES! We aren't friends with.. those girl(s) anymore. They were bad for you. WE HAVE MORE GENUINE AND KIND FRIENDS!! There is a whole world out there waiting for you. I love my friends.

6. What is your college essay about?

A: Bugs. In the UT Austin essays, we wrote about photography, allergies, tamagotchis, etc.

7. What made us stronger?

A: Learning to adapt, spreading love, reading people, putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations in order to grow. Being with likeminded people!

8. How was senior year? Was it any easier taking AP classes? Do we understand pre-calc?

A: PRE CAL WAS MY MOST HATED SUBJECT. It is so fricking hard I dont think I ever understood the concepts. The AP Classes had lots of work in it but you managed your time fine and it was never that serious anyways (except AP 2D art) that sucked a lot. Senior year was shit im not even gonna lie. I didn't even attend like 98% of the events LOL. Fuck no I am not going back!

9. Do we still want to take comp sci?'

A: Computer Engineering babe dont sweat it

10. What happened to your H‑E‑B job?

A: OUR LAST DAY WAS TODAYYYYYYYY

11. Did we get any stoles/cords for graduation or not?

A: One stole for NHS, one stole for DUDU CREDIT!

12. What was our final Highschool GPA?

A: 4.6/6.0 LMFAOOO

13. What’s our class schedule?

A: -1st period: Late Arrival (Used to be Photography 4)

A: -2nd: AP Art History

A: -3rd: Photojournalism/Office Aide

A: -4th: AP Psychology/Interpersonal Studies

A: -5th: AP 2D Art

A: -6th: AP Pre-Cal (idk how u survived but girl... never again)

A: -7th: Early Release

14. What do we look like now? Do I still have short hair? Do I still look gay?

A: You got the short hair back and we still look gay asf. We have new pink glasses though and they're see through! We still have bangs. Shit load of stretch marks though smh. Im like 115 pounds now.

15. Can we crochet with greater experience?

A: fuck no

16. What’s your biggest worry?

A: If my roommates will like me, I'll feel lonelier, money, If ill be smart enough for college, if my friends now will still want to hang out with me :(

17. Are you happy?

A: I could be happier but I am okay! Not stressed right now :)

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

🖊 (Please gush to me about one of your favs <3)

Hmmm they are all my faves so I’ll give you two maybe three things! Light spoilers below the cut for ShB and EW

🖊️ So this is something I haven’t been able to touch on showing in commissions or in gpose but Siberite actually has that scale circlet that you see with one of the faces of au ra which is below. However! It isn’t complete and is broken into pieces essentially. (It also sits a bit differently than the game for the tails to be more closer to the temples) While she isn’t insecure about it there is a subtle kind of insecurity due to the fact that her mother hid it’s brokenness with circlets and hairstyles her whole life. Her mother never explicitly said or mentioned that it was imperfect or a bad thing but Sib could tell based on the treatment of it compared to her mother that did have it completely. So again she’s not insecure about it that she’s actively hiding it or getting upset when people see it, but more a learned behavior to wear certain things that end up covering it up if you feel me? If you ask her she’ll simply tell you that circlets are her signature, but it’s never a necessity to her.

🖊️ The Sib and Stasia relationship while very much funny and entertaining is also Sibs way of apologizing for her treatment and dismissal of Emet-Selch in Shadowbringers. She just had a hard time believing the man’s stories and really felt black and white about him and after everything with Elidibus she took some time to reflect and heeded the notion of understanding your enemy fully and taking your time to get to know them should the opportunity arise. Stasia is so similar to Emet in her presentation to a certain degree that Sib feels like she’s getting a chance to right a wrong especially seeing how being more understanding benefited the group overall in Endwalker. Sib does wonder a lot if things could have ended up differently had she been a bit nicer.

🖊️ So I have two WoLs with the same Azem soul and beyond the meta reasoning for it in canon it came about because my Azem managed to split himself in two and both versions were whole due to him using his second set of DNA that could be seen with his two different eye colors as the basis for it. Both were existing before the sundering and because they were whole they got split the same way. There is an original and the “clone” and while no one knows who is who in canon the answer outside of that is Demos is the original Deimos, while Siberite is “clone” Phobos (which isn’t their name I just use it for clarity), I had to give grandpa a win somewhere in the story.

[pornaddictioncounseling]

RISKY EMOTIONS WHILE REBOOTING

I’ve got another question from a brother in our group today. He says:

“Hey brothers, I have to stay accountable and report to you. I’ve had multiple slips over the past two days, twice yesterday and once today. It started when I was tired from the gym and came home to no one else in the house. I now recognize that isolation and tiredness were two major vulnerabilities.

“I looked at some images first but it quickly progressed into watching pornography. Then this morning I laid around in bed for a while and ended up looking at images on my phone again. It didn’t take long for me to open up a few tabs of porn again.

“This has happened so many times, easily hundreds. It has left me feeling off and scared, scared that I’m not going to be successful and that I’ll spend the rest of my life a complete mess. I know it’s down to me to change it but what if I don’t have it in me?”

I always appreciate it when a brother comes to us and shares where he is at. Growth only comes when we’re willing to ask for help. I know that at face value this might sound like a great share. It seems like it’s full of authenticity and accountability. However, there are some things in here to be wary of.

First, he ends his post by saying he feels off and scared because it’s something that’s happened “hundreds” of times. He feels his life is a “complete mess.” These statements are full of heavily charged emotions.

He also explains he had multiple slips within 24 hours. Here’s the thing, though. If you slip up repeatedly in a day then you’re now in a relapse, not just a slip. He should just say that he relapsed and leave it at that. A relapse isn’t much worse than a slip; you still get the same result.

Second, he did a great job of identifying his mistakes but he did nothing to change the situation. It’s great to recognize where you’re going wrong but recognition does nothing if you don’t take action to change it. Recognition is the first step but action is where the true change occurs. He needs to take this awareness going forward and apply action next time temptation arises.

Third, there are quite a few issues he could have addressed to keep himself less vulnerable. He mentions feeling tired which arises from a problem with self-care. He also says he was looking at his phone which could have been avoided if he kept his phone out of his room. And he also said he came home to an empty house so he could have reached out to someone because he knew he was in a risky place.

All of these things are valid porn addiction problems during your early reboot. If you don’t have much experience applying the reboot system to your life, they’re likely to arise at some point. The system outlines clear actions to take which can help you avoid these things but many of them are inevitable in the beginning.

Learning from other brothers in the group is a great way to recognize areas where you may eventually fall short or need some help. Take his view of his life as a complete mess, for example. How many times have you thought the same thing? How often have you felt like you’re never going to control your behavior?

Most of these experiences are common for all of us. They’re things we struggle with at various points during our reboot. But they don’t have to be things that take us down for the long run. Every man who arrives with porn addiction problems at the Porn Reboot program has a chance to change his life. None of us are hopeless or beyond recall. We all have the opportunity to become better men.

These emotionally-charged statements will hold you back from recognizing your ability to change, though. If you cannot take control of your emotions you’ll find they will drive your decisions over and over again. The sooner you learn to control your emotions the better. And implementing the Pornography Addiction Counseling which is the Porn Reboot into your life is the best place to start.