#taking away womens agencies are not feminist

[athamad]

Greek mythology retelling who claim to be feminist biting the curb in 4k

[doyouevenshipbr0]

examples of atla live action’s attempts to be more feminist and how they actually had the opposite effect and/or hurt the integrity of the show

already talked about katara and pakku. does not make sense that she did not have a master. point blank. just because something sounds empowering (ie katara saying “yes. and ur looking at her.” after zuko asked if she found a master) doesn’t mean it automatically is. there still needs to be logic and katara “being her own master” defies logic imo im sorry!

katara in general. she has no ferocity here which to be very honest i dont think is fully the writers’ fault. some of the blame goes on them but the actress for katara just delivered alllllll of her lines w the same exact mild tone. katara is overly motherly. she is bossy. she is passionate. she is nurturing. she is emotional. THERE IS POWER IN THESE THINGS!!!!! why would we take away her spark?!?!?!

i loved live action suki. however, i LOVE the line in the original when her and sokka part ways and sokka says “i treated u like a girl when i should’ve treated u like a warrior.” and suki says “i am a warrior” *kisses sokka on the cheek* “but im a girl too.” THAT LINE WAS SO PERFECT like lemme say it again there is POWER IN FEMININITY! there is no shame in that!!!!! why does this show wanna take that away so badly. at one point live action suki says something like “im not just a warrior, im a kiyoshi warrior” and before she parts ways w sokka she thanks him for showing her some of the world or something like that. which was fine but i just love the simplicity of the original. a girl can be a warrior and have a crush. why do we have to change that?

this is a small one and it doesnt REALLY matter, but i cant help but think they changed this to be more “feminist” which is just dumb. yue isnt betrothed? well she was but she broke it off? and hahn (her ex) isnt a huge dick? i mean it wasn’t the worst thing and i didnt really mind it but i was just kinda like ?????. feel like yue being betrothed tied into her sense of responsibility and foreshadowed the sacrifices she will make for her people. so. feels rly weird that they changed it. i think it was to show more women agency which is always cool. but in the original, yue finally gets her agency by becoming the moon spirit. that should be the end of her character arc. idk. a weird change that seemed unnecessary.

sokka not being sexist. honestly i think the live action did a good job at omitting this while not REALLY making it feel like something was missing. with that being said, something was still missing lol. once again, its apart of sokka’s character. i feel like everyone has already expressed their hate for this so ill just leave it at that.

i am a TAD indifferent on the women of the northern tribe joining the forces during the fight. on one hand i cant lie i smiled bc obviously i love water bending and i love women so there was definitely apart of me that was happy to see that moment. however. it was kind of giving like in endgame when theres that random shot of all the women superheroes in one frame so the movie could have a “slay queen. we are girlbosses:)” moment. like it just felt a little empty and it wasnt the feminist battlecry they thought it was. these women have been healing their whole lives. why would they be any good on the frontlines of a fight? they never learned combat skills! HOWEVER, when we see them, its mainly just them reinforcing the walls so like. that makes enough sense. im cool w that.

i know im dwelling but as we know i hold atla in the highest regards. it does a lot of things perfectly imo. and one of the things i think it does PERFECTLY is its treatment of female characters. literally the only thing i can think of that i dont like is when team azula beats the kiyoshi warriors and ty lee says something like “u are NOT prettier than us” NDBSKSJDJ like ok that was weird. but anyways. it irritates me how the live action kind of seems to have this pov that says “the original was good, but there were some ideas and plots that were outdated so we changed them to keep with the times” like they’re fixing something that was broken if that makes sense. when in actuality, i think atla’s representation of women is perfect and timeless. it was relevant and powerful in 2005, and it is equally as relevant and powerful in 2024. there was nothing about its feminist themes that needed to be “fixed” or “updated”.

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 2 / HISTORICAL FICTION/NON-FICTION)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes of Media in the List:

-Workplace/general sexist discrimination

-Husband being pieces of shit and whiners

-Strong emphasis on sisterhood

-Romance plays a large part (both hetero and homo)

-Female genius and triumph

-Scheming mothers (always scheming)

-Grief, loss, and growth

-Motherhood is difficult but we pull through TM

HAVEN'T WATCHED:

Mozart's Sister

Lessons in Chemistry

The Conductor

Lizzie

Radioactive

Cable Girls

The Great

The Queen's Gambit

Britannia

Harriet

Mary Queen of Scots

ONES I LOVEDDDD:

A League of Their Own (9/10) (a favorite!)

Hidden Figures (8/10)

The Woman King (8/10) (a favorite!)

Anne With An E (9/10) (a favorite!)

Dickinson (8.5/10)

The Marvellous Mrs. Maisel (9/10) (a favorite!)

Gentleman Jack (8/10)

The Gilded Age (7.5/10)

HONORABLE (NON-LISTED MENTIONS)

The English (an english woman teams up with a native american cowboy to take revenge on the men who hurt them)

The World to Come (two women isolated by the wilderness and their husbands fall in love)

The Pursuit of Love

Colette

PERSONAL NOTES:

The Buccaneers is pretty feminist and wholesome, although oftentimes childish and full of Netflix cliches (even though it's an Apple TV original). It tries very hard to be Dickinson and Little Women but is a far cry away from Dickinson's edge and fierceness and Little Women's maturity and realism. It's more interested in appealing to Bridgerton audiences and its worse for it. But it's still full of the nice stuff, like strong female friendships and sisterhoods. Ooh, and lesbians! It's adamantly female-centric.

As for Little Women, I prefer the 90s version with Winona Ryder, but Greta did more justice to the source material than Louisa May Alcott herself in the new version.

The Book Thief and The World to Come are also tragedies, so you know. Ammonite, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Summerland and The Favourite are lesbians and bisexuals in their full glory, although all of them have vastly different tones (The Favourite is a dark comedy, I believe).

Speaking of The Favourite, Mary & George is like that but it's men vying for the affections of the king. Don't get it twisted though, Mary, George's mom, is the protagonist and primary mover of the show. It starts and ends with her. Also, more lesbianism! (I don't get tired of pointing that out.)

Belle is one of the few autobiographical historical fictions of a black woman. My dad and I love it. It, however, does not surpass The Woman King. The Woman King is like . . . one of the best historical movies on African women I've ever watched! Or just in general! It gives so much agency to African people in the colonial age and tells the story with nuance and perspective--it is a decolonized view on the slave trade that places West African people at the center. It's pretty intense and gory, though. Like it's dark, but like the performances are insanely good, and so is the story. Real life Wakanda and all that!

[unnaturalequilibrium]

Capítulo 12

- Mafin rewatch (Sueños de Libertad)

Here we go. It’s the photographer. I don’t know if I’m ready for this yet, I haven’t even found the seatbelt yet, but we’re already taking off.

Marta wanting something modern, but knowing very well not to try to be too transgressive. A quiet kind of revolution that sneaks up on you is to be preferred. She wants a campaign ad that plays on a woman’s own agency though. I don’t know how to tell her, but that’s still a pretty hot topic no matter how much traditionalism you try to steep it in. I approve though. Sisters doing it for themselves, so to speak.

Hihi, her shocked eyebrows when he notices the perfume she’s wearing.

Oh honey. You clueless little inexperienced puppy. I can’t unsee my own perspective or hindsight, but I wonder to what extent we were supposed to believe that something might happen between her and the photographer. I assume most straights did, but even for them - I mean that opening credit. 

Either way, Marta being a clever business woman and a closeted feminist is nice. Smart and smart. Hits my spot.

Fina mocking Claudia as the lavender triplets are having coffee together is cute. She also catches on to Carmen’s sadness and ask if it’s in relation to Voldemort. Carmen reveals she’s not able to tell if she should do the right thing with Tasio or follow her heart. Fina deadpans and tells her the heart is a treacherous mistress. She is the lesbian friend every straight and bisexual woman needs.

The photographer is a bit creepy though. It’s not cool going around photographing women without their knowledge or consent. Especially not when you have a moustache, that just makes it twelve times as creepy. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

Carmen covering Tasio’s gambling ass. You hate to see it.

Marta for the first time on this show getting truly excited about something. Excited about her idea of selling their latest perfume through a more relatable woman than your standard model. The joy she expresses when the photographer comes back with a whole portfolio full of pictures of the shop girls is fucking pure. This isn’t just an ice queen, this is a woman trying really fucking hard to make a difference in her own way. She has a vision and I honestly don’t think it’s only about the cashflow. I do think she wants a different world for herself and for other women too.

This scene also hits with one of those lines that are pretty fundamental to her as a character, even though she likes what he’s done, she tells him she won’t make a decision “hot”. She needs to let the emotions land and turn it all over in peace. This is Marta at her core. Everything about her as an emotional being can be narrowed down into this. She did the exact same thing with Petra. She gathered the data, went away, made a case for herself and then returned with a plan of action. If you want Marta’s cheat code, then it’s this behaviour. Pretty much everything else about her will fall into place when you understand this. And the best way of breaking her is to force a reaction out of her before she’s had a chance to digest in silence.

Yeah, even if we ever were meant to think something was about to happen with the photographer they also made sure to be pretty fucking unsubtle about the real direction they were taking this story in.

[i-lost-my-heart-in-republic-city]

Only villains are allowed to be complex in Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender

I had a major issue with the treatment of the original gaang in natla and I think it has to do with character flaws. As in, they don't have any.

In the case of Aang, other characters keep telling him that he can't ignore his responsibilities but when do we ever see him actually do this? When does he seek out distractions to avoid his duties, like penguin sledding, or riding elephant koi, or hiding in a cave? Hell, the reason he gets trapped in the iceberg is changed. In natla he was only going out on a short flight with Appa and gets caught in a storm. In the original he ran away, and it's understandable because he felt alone and out of control of his life. But it is still a choice he makes, to run away from his responsibilities, and he has to deal with the consequences.

In natla there is no choice to run away, it's fully an accident and it takes away his agency as a character. So when Bumi starts blaming him for the war it really rings hollow because it was all an accident. It has more weight when a random fisherman blames him in atla because at least in that version he did make a choice to runaway. Obviously he had no way of knowing what would happen and he never intended to abandon the world to genocide and war. But that's the thing about life, you never know the full consequences of your decisions, and you just have to deal with them when they happen. The war is not Aang's fault, but he did make a bad decision, and it had far reaching consequences. It made Aang's character more relatable and gave him a starting place from which he could grow as a character. He had to learn how to accept responsibility for his actions without blaming himself for the actions of other (i.e. Sozin starting the war).

I feel like in the case of Katara, they stripped her passion and anger. They explored Katara's PTSD but they take away how angry it made her. Anger is a totally normal response to trauma. While letting yourself be consumed by anger is obviously bad, anger can also be channeled into passion and energy to enact positive change. This was a big part of Katara's character in atla, learning how to control her righteous indignation and use it to fight for the rights of other. She has none of that anger here, so there is no character growth and no emotional connection to the character through that arc.

This especially falls flat in her 'feminist arc.' She fights with Pakku but there is no anger, no fire in her. In atla at the end of the fight, even though she was pinned down and had clearly lost, she was still going. She was almost feral. Even though she was worn out, her passion of fighting for what is right still fueled her. She would not give up. So I guess it's fitting natla's unpassionate Katara just falls down at the end of the fight. And they cut out the whole importance of the necklace, which serves as Pakku's realization on how his sexism has negatively impacted his own life. It's this realization that motivates him to reevaluate his beliefs and agree to train Katara. Which needs to happen because having a master's tutelage is what allows her to become a master herself. Alta makes it clear that she excels because of her hard work and determination along with guidance from a mentor. There's none of this in natla. They just start calling Katara a master because 'girlpower' I guess? They certainly don't show how she became so talented. But natla Katara doesn't need help from other people to grow. She's already a master. She's already perfect.

Sokka is also stripped of his flaws as well. Obviously we know he is not sexist in natla. I don't think this is inherently a bad change, but you have to understand how the sexism impacted his character in atla and adjust accordingly. In atla, Sokka's sexism is really the origin of his all his insecurities. He believes there are roles for men and roles for women. Protecting the tribe is a man's job. So when the men go off to fight in the war, he believes he must carry the burden of protecting the tribe as the oldest male. He sets himself up for failure because he places impossible standards on himself. He cannot protect and lead the tribe all by himself, especially not when he is a young child. This leads to him feeling inadequate because he cannot measure up to his own impossible standards or his idealized version of his father (who was an adult and had the support of his tribesmen).

I could still see a way to still adapt atla without the sexism. (For example Hakoda tells Sokka to look after his younger sister. He takes that to an extreme of being overprotective of the whole tribe. And we are back at him failing to met his own impossible expectations again). But natla doesn't do this. Instead it just throws in a flashback of Hakoda saying that Sokka isn't fit to be a warrior. This kind of defeats the purpose of Sokka's own internal conflict about not measuring up to his own unrealistic expectations. Now it's his father's expectation's he doesn't measure up to. This is not a bad story beat in and of itself. It works well with Zuko. But it's not Sokka's character conflict. In alta Sokka's insecurities, internal expectations, and sexism also cause him to lash out at others sometimes. He's not allowed to act so negatively in atla. So again there is no place for him to grow as a character, as he does not have these flaws.

Honestly it seems like they tired to removal all negative character traits from the main characters, which makes them feel more stiff and allows them no room for growth. I really wanted to like this adaptation. And I do think there are some changes they do really well. But those changes are related to the villains and they just drop the ball so hard with our main characters.

[anonymous-dentist]

I’m actually really interested in how the qsmp fandom treats its female characters at large versus how the female characters’ fans treat their character of choice. Because there’s a general consensus to Not Be A Dick To Women, because women are awesome (source: I am one.) But then you get to the individual fandoms for each character and you see that either you really aren’t allowed to criticize those characters at all, or all you do is criticize.

(And keep in mind I love both these characters I’m going to talk about and I literally try and watch every stream they’re part of if I have the time.)

For the first category, let’s look at the fandom surrounding qJaiden:

She’s a silly bird girl! She loves Cucurucho, but not the Federation. She’s actively friends with the creatures that have tortured and manipulated and kidnapped her own friends, but that’s fine because she has trauma. She’s a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to keeping and telling secrets sometimes, but that’s fine because she’s just silly!

This is the general qJaiden fandom perspective. If you call her a hypocrite, you have people calling you misogynist. If you say she’s a bit Weird for being besties with the bear that tricked her into thinking her son was alive and forced her on a death march just to laugh in her face and show her that she’s dead, you’re called a misogynist.

You criticize her at all, or you point out her flaws, you’re labeled a misogynist. Because Jaiden is silly! She’s never done anything wrong, actually, you either just hate women or you don’t watch her pov because you clearly don’t understand her character, which is Just A Silly Woman. There’s no nuance to her character past that, and acknowledging the fact that she’s morally gray can be Bad for ‘outsiders’, or even ‘insiders’ if you’re loud enough about it.

On the flip side, let’s look at qBaghera’s fandom:

qBaghera is useless. She needs to stay in her lane. She needs to tell others her personal lore. She needs to give up on running for president. She needs to be president. She needs to hang out with Forever and Bad more. She needs to be more of a revolutionary. She needs to take a step back and stay in her lane.

This is the general qBaghera fandom. Deal. It’s gotten to the point where ccBaghera has asked that people stop criticizing her character because she plays her character very close to her own personality. It’s nonstop people telling her how to play her own character, but they all claim to be ‘fans’. Her character doesn’t have any agency of her own to them, so she’s criticized, or, when she’s hanging out with The Boys she’s criticized for hanging out with The Boys, or she’s not hanging out with The Boys enough. That’s the kicker: she felt the need to stop hanging out with the other two members of Dramatrio because people were demanding she hang out with The Boys while ignoring her own personal lore.

These two examples are very different, but they both show the misogyny hidden beneath a thin layer of on-the-surface feminism. Not being allowed to criticize a female character is Not feminist at all, and criticizing a female character too much is definitely Not feminist.

And the thing is? Neither fandom seems to acknowledge the fact that they’re being Weird about their favorite female characters. Neither are allowing their favs to have any agency: Jaiden is always ‘Silly’ and doesn’t get to have any consequences or criticism, and Baghera can’t do anything without being criticized. But if you say anything about either character in a remotely negative or criticizing way, the individual fandoms will hound you for “being misogynistic” or “favoring male ccs/characters” because the qsmp fandom Is Not A Dick To Women. Because the fandom at large loves its female characters and ccs, the smaller, individual fandoms can get away with some weird shit in the name of “feminism” covering up misogyny within.

[kaylinelizabeth4004]

Hii I loved your Alec fan fic sm any more Alec x f reader smut coming ?😭

Come As You Are

A/N: of course more Alec is coming, I just need time love. This one is for my midsize girlies ❤️

Summary: The Reader is feeling insecure about herself and Alec wants to help

Tags: 18+ minors dni, insecurity and mentions of body dysmorphia and self hatred, praise kink, body worship, consensual possessive language, and some fluff :)

The woman in front of her was thin and tall, with a beautiful head of curls and dark skin. Her eyes were shrewd as they took in DS Y/N Warner, standing in her frumpy suit with a notepad at the ready. Yet she certainly didn't look poorly on DI Alec Hardy, not that he would have noticed her little flirts. She angled her hips one way, answered his questions primarily, and smiled widely at his words, always looking right at him. If Y/N wasn't careful and reminding herself that she was on the clock, she had half a mind to kiss Alec right there and claim him. But she didn't.

DI Alec Hardy went to the car, and Y/N lingered for just a moment to clarify one of the points that got fuzzy.

"Right, and you work for Joan Topper Model Agency? Not to be confused with Topper Jane's Agency?" Y/N asked, checking the reference she had from the lady who'd referred them to this woman.

The woman nodded, her lips close to a sneer, "it's a very elite agency, Joan Topper."

"I'm sure."

The woman cocked her head to the side, "are you?"

DS Warner swallowed hard. She did not like not liking other women, it made her feel like a bad feminist. She should overthrow the ideas of women hurting other women and focus on the more particular idea that men made it up to make women dislike one another. And while that was very likely, it wasn't impossible for two things to exist at once. Men try to make women hate each other, and some women are just bitches. Not because they're women but because they're people.

And this woman, who couldn't possibly be over 21, with her gorgeous figure and curly hair, just happened to be one of those special humans. And it irked Y/N.

"You can't be over a size 4," the woman pressed. It was unclear if she meant you couldn't be over a size 4 in the agency, or in life. Her eyes lingered at Hardy's retreating form. "Men don't like it much."

DS Warner smiled tightly and nodded, walking back to the car and quickly getting in so she wouldn't have to see that woman again. Alec didn't notice the change in Y/N's mood, he wasn't always the best at that.

Instead of going to the station, they went back to Y/N's house. Alec hadn't actually moved in, but that was more of a title really. He stayed there nearly every night, had a section of the closet, and referred to it as home. They both knew that once they wrapped up this case, they would set aside a weekend and officially move in, but when cases got busy neither felt they could take even a day off. Work got in the way like that.

"Right, I'm going to pop in the shower then I'll be down to help," Y/N said, toeing off her shoes at the door.

"M'kay," Hardy answered with a wave of his hand, files in his arms.

She went up to the loo, started the shower and made quick work of her uniform. Her image in the mirror made her stop.

Normally, people described the moment before a shower as some of the most attractive. Moments when all of a sudden insecurities melt away and you could spend ages doing dance battles with yourself. This was not one of those days for Y/N. Maybe it was the insecurities she already had buried beneath the surface, maybe it was the late hour, maybe it was the woman who had subtly insulted her appearance, but whatever the cause she found she hated what she saw.

Y/N always felt a little trapped when she expressed her insecurities to friends. She couldn't say she was thin, because she wasn't. But she couldn't say she was fat, because she wasn't. She was an awkward middle ground that certainly didn't feel sexy. Her thighs touched when she stood, covered in little stretch marks and led to a small bush she tried to trim but it always looked wrong. Along her boobs there were stretch marks like purple tiger stripes, and she had small red bumps she couldn't explain. Of course in between the two lied the worst of the worst, a belly just bloated enough to look pregnant when she very much wasn't. Nope, Y/N was not a fan of this body.

Her cheeks flushed with emotion and the heat of the shower, and she tried to ignore it as she got in and scrubbed off the day. Her hair was clean so she left it up and tried to calm herself when she noticed her efforts were too harsh. God damn it, this was not what she had intended.

Not long after she joined Hardy at the kitchen table, sipping her hot chocolate he'd made, and pouring over the case files. Her mind began to wander but she was intent on stopping it.

"You alright?" Alec's thick Scottish accent broke her from the bank's reports, and it was among the first words he'd spoken all evening.

"Y-yeah," she said, not quite knowing what he was referring to. "Why?"

"You don't seem right."

Y/N didn't know how to respond, so she shrugged her shoulders, "I'm ... fine?"

He narrowed his eyes. Alec Hardy felt like he was in a bit of a limbo at the moment. His instinct was telling him that something was bothering Y/N, she seemed sad and distant. However, Alec was not known for having the best instinct with people and their feelings. He couldn't tell if he should leave it or press on. But it was DI Alec Hardy and he wasn't a fan of lying. "After that last interview you've gone funky."

If Y/N wasn't so uncomfortable trying to think of how to not expose this lame part of herself to Alec, she'd have focused on him using the word funky. "I didn't like her much."

"Did she say something?"

"More or less."

"Warner stop evading the question and tell me what's wrong." His voice was intense as he spoke, chocolate eyes imploring.

"I don’t like my body, I'm ugly," she said quickly, as though it would take away everything else.

Alec blinked, "wot?"

"I'm ugly and fat, Alec."

DI Alec Hardy did not know a lot of things. He was shit at expressing emotions and understanding others, he did not understand social media, thought scotch eggs were gross, had a temper, and was shit at accepting help. But he knew one thing. His Y/N was not ugly.

"No you're not." She laughed bitterly and looked away. He said it louder, his tone more stern. "Y/N you are not ugly and you're not fat."

Y/N's throat was tight as she said, "thanks Alec." She didn't mean it, they both knew she didn't mean it.

"Y/N-"

"It's fine, can just get on with it?" She snapped, her voice a hair away from a yell. Alec saw her retreat further into herself. "Sorry."

He sighed, closing his eyes to try and make his thinking clearer. Alec was proper rubbish at dealing with any of this. But then he had any idea, an idea she probably didn't expect. The detective stood up and walked towards the stairs.

His ever inquisitive Y/N craned her neck to watch as he went up the steps. He was impressed she managed to last a full minute without following after him, in which time he removed his jacket and shoes, before she appeared in the bedroom door frame with a questioning look on her face.

"C'mhere."

She did, though her steps were slow as she watched him with a shrewd eye. He took her hands in his, running his thumb over her knuckles. Alec's hands were always calloused and he never knew why, as he didn't do much physical labor. She liked how they felt.

Alec brought her hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss on each of them, "I love your hands."

He could see the little flush on her cheeks start up, but she didn't say anything else. Alec went to the edge of the bed, bringing her to sit between his legs, his chest up against her back. His hands ran up her arms, "I love that when I do that you get goose flesh."

"Alec what're you doing?"

"You've got lovely arms, lovely shoulders." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the skin of both. Then Alec pointed a finger in front of them, towards the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. They painted a lovely picture, a woman held by her man as he lavished soft touches on her. He planned to make the picture prettier. Though he wasn't always confident in sex, he was confident that he loved Y/N and that her self image was wrong. And that confidence overrode all other feelings of inadequacy.

"Alec..." she didn't know what to say. She had a feeling she knew what he was up to and she didn't know if she could handle it. He was being awfully sweet. And the scratch of his beard made her sigh. His fingers came to the straps of her flimsy, pajama tank top, pulling them until they snapped back on her skin.

In the mirror, Alec glanced up and made eye contact with her. His face was kind, tired but not of her. His hair was dark and mused, his eyes so chocolate it hurt to look at. And his freckles, the most wonderful part of the man was the freckles that ran along his face as though he never left the sun as a child. She nodded slightly, knowing that he was asking for permission.

The straps fell down, and Alec pushed the top down until her breasts fell from them, heavy and heaving against her chest. Almost instantly she felt a growing hardness against her bum, and she flushed incredulously. His hands came round and held her breasts, letting them overflow in his touch.

Throughout their entire relationship, Alec was not one who would just speak. He was the silent brooding type. The kind of guy who grunted when he asked if he fancied a pint - the answer was always no, he didn't drink. But Alec knew Y/N loved his voice, she called it sexy and he'd caught her getting off to a voicemail of his once. Whenever he got loud in the office, had to yell at someone, he noticed the way her thighs would clench and her cheeks flush. So while he was most certainly clunky at it, he tried his best to speak through his thoughts for her, hoping it could help her get to him.

"They’re one of my favorite bits of you," he murmured, his voice suddenly throaty as though he was struggling to speak with the sight of your breasts out and about.

He pressed them together, showing the deep line of her cleavage. "Don't get that on just anyone, now do ya?"

Y/N wanted to believe him, to look in the mirror and see a creature that was as attractive and he believed, but she just couldn't. Her words were soft but they were there as she said, "I have stretch marks and bumps."

Alec's brow furrowed and he held her chest tighter before letting them fall back. He was fully hard now and didn't shy away from letting her feel the affect she had on him.

"No one can expect your skin to remain the same your whole life. Doesn’t make it ugly." He said, kiss the junction between her neck and shoulder. She leaned her head back into him, letting herself feeling those beautifully calloused hands as they teased at her nipples, those soft lips kissing her skin.

He slowly dragged the tank top down until it met the waistband of her shorts. She did not look down to see the image in the mirror, this was not the body part she wanted to see. His hands were featherlight as they travelled down her abdomen, running his fingers along the rolls of her skin. The thought alone made her want to cry. Alec let out a breath, "you're so fucking soft."

That was not quite what she wanted to hear, soft wasn’t a word she felt was a good thing. Though that hadn't been his intention, Alec thought soft was one of the best things a body could be. He tried again, bringing his hands to her hips, "I love your belly. It's cute."

"It's not sexy."

"Fuck yeah it is," he argued. Alec pulled away from her and went to kneel in front of the bed. He spread her legs and went on his knees, putting his face right at her chest, which he noticed right away. Hardy brought his hand to her face and made her look at him, and he blew out a breath. She was a vision, leaned back, heavy breasts on full display and legs spread like a goddess.

He pressed a kiss in between her breasts, letting his tongue nip out to taste her skin. She giggled and said, "Alec!"

He brought his mouth down to her stomach, kissing each roll and holding her tightly. His beard itched and cause a pink rash to form, but she didn't have the urge to fight it. All along her abdomen, DI Alec Hardy peppered hot, wet kisses with nips of teeth. Then he growled softly, turning to see the mirror and force her to see what he saw. A stomach with small little love bites. "I decide what I find sexy. And that's sexy."

She hadn't even realized that she had started crying until it dripped down her face. It wasn't a sad tear, not really. It was more an overwhelming realization that Alec wasn't messing about, he wasn't saying this because he loved her. As his hands ran up her legs, prickly from unshaven hairs, he kissed and growled against her skin with the kindest love she'd felt. And she gladly let him remove her panties and shorts until she was bare, spread for him.

"I love your breasts and I love your belly, but these are some of my favorites," Alec said and he moved her thighs to sit on his shoulders. He bit at her thighs, lowering his kiss with each moment. Then he was there at the apex of her legs, with her slightly hairy, fully glistening cunt. His hot breath hit her as he murmured, "hey darling."

She shuddered, her body involuntarily moving to the sound of his voice. She had to stop the yelp that tried to escape when he extended his tongue and licked her bottom to top.

“I love that you’re so responsive down here,” Alec said between peppered kisses, letting his teeth ever so softly graze across her clit before sliding his tongue into her opening. Her muscles clenched, thighs beginning to shake as he lavished her. “I love the taste of you.”

He moved up, letting his beard scratch along her inner thighs in the way he knew she liked. Alec brought a careful finger to her opening, sliding it in with ease. She started to grind against it, hips bucking to meet his tongue as he began proper work on her clit. His fingers were long as they pumped in and out, curling i side her in the way that made her gasp. He laughed against her, he fucking laughed. A deep chuckle that radiated through her body, sending her arousal through the roof until her thighs were clamped round his head.

“Such a good girl for me,” he whispered against her. But she heard it, and practically shoved him into her. Then Alec said, “you look so beautiful, you’re doing so good love. I’m so proud of my girl.”

Y/N cried out as she came, her body convulsing with each wave. It was positively impossible to describe, a kind of hazy pleasure that takes you from this world until you’re left panting on a bed, wondering how your antisocial detective boyfriend learned to do all of that. Her legs spasmed, squeezing against him in the way he adored.

Alec eased her through it, his kisses soft and messy. Her juices covered his face, were in his beard, but he seemed to proudly display her. Her thighs were going to be red from beard rash and covered in little love bites, some more possessive than others and she relished them all.

“Such a beautiful darling,” Alec said, rising slowly as he moved up her body. “I love your body, it’s bloody sexy is what it is. But my favorite part, yes even more than your breasts, is your face.”

Then he leaned in and kissed her, he kissed her with everything he had. It was rhat desperate, dizzying sort of kiss where words went unspoken but understood. She sighed, crying but now it wasn’t a hatred. Just like she realized earlier, and now it seemed to sink, Alec loved her regardless. He didn’t just put up with insecurities, he fought to fight them with her and show her what he saw. She might not see it yet, but to know that someone like him had eyes like that was comforting.

He tasted of her, of her musk and sweat and sex, and she found it embarrassingly arousing to know it was her wetness that did this to him.

Alec came up to the bed quickly, getting in the same position from earlier. Him behind her with her body in between his legs. Alex brought her to lean on him so her neck was ready for biting, “I fucking love your neck.”

“Bloody vampire!” She laughed.

Alec chuckled, bring his hands down her sides to grip her thighs. “That so?” With a strong yet gentle touch, he spread her thighs wide enough to rest on his, locking her in place.

“Alec I need you…”

“Oh what a pretty picture you make,” Alec whispered along her skin as he removed his cock from his trousers, going under her arse to tease at her opening. “Oh look at you, you’re gorgeous. My beautiful angel grinding against my cock, spread for the world to see. Perhaps another day. Shall I show you just how lovely you are, darling?”

Fuck. For someone who’d not done much dirty talk, he was damn good at it. She whined for him to take her, and he happily obliged, sinking into her with a slow thrust.

He let out a hiss at the feeling of her taut muscles clenching around him, holding him in place as though she couldn’t hear to lose him. She gasped the fullness, relishing in it and grinding just enough to cause Alec to make a guttural sound.

“You keep goin like that Angel and I won’t last much longer.”

“I don’t want you to,” she said, moving her hips again.

That movement broke Alec. He kept one hand tight on her hip, the other snaking down her body to start desperate ministrations on her clit. He thrust into her with a fury, bucking his hips to get as deep as he can. Y/N groaned, shocked at how quickly he was bringing her to climax.

“Come in me,” she said between breathy sighs. “Make me yours.”

Something in that sent the man wild. He stood, quickly helping prop Y/N up doggy style on the bed, and began to truly fuck her the way they both intended. They were so close to climax, his strokes uneven and wild, her clit buzzing with life.

“Say it again, angel. Tell me to make you mine.”

“I’m yours,” she groaned. “Come in me, I need you. I’m yours, make me yours.”

And he did, falling slightly into her and having to support himself on the mattress. He groaned loudly, those freckles flushing. But he knew she hadn’t come again, and he kept himself inside her as he leaned down, “now, any man you ever fuck you’ll know I’m here. You’re mine, angel. My darling.”

With a flick of his wrist, she came undone.

[gawrkin]

I hate Mallory for a number of reasons but honestly taking away Lancelot’s deliberate choices as a character to empower Gwen as his chosen lord is one of many. Furthermore I have a lot of beef with most if not all adaptions especially modern ones for not having that in there or worse having Arthur appoint him Gwen’s champion and undermine Lancelot’s character by having him protect Gwen as something Arthur told him to do, instead of what he wanted to do. That’s what makes Lancelot a great knight. This, along with the portrayal of women, makes me wonder how we got to a point where characters have less agency than hundreds of years ago.

Yes, this.

In some ways, Lancelot is a proto-feminist hero - a knight who chooses to empower a woman (in a time when women are thought of as property of their male relatives and political bargaining chips), and he himself is atypical of a chivalric warrior.

I think the biggest misconception of Lancelot's character - that Malory, Tennyson and T.H. White presume - is that he's Arthur's bro and buddy. Like a long time best friend who was with Arthur through thick and thin. Which in turn makes him super hateable as he's stealing his "best friend's" girl.

Lancelot wasn't any of those things - he was born after Arthur got Married to Guinevere, he never fought in any major battles of Arthur's early reign, never spent a single adventure with Arthur (Tristan has one adventure with Arthur; Lancelot does not) and nothing Lancelot ever did throughout his entire knightly career, bar the Grail Quest, was done for Arthur's sake alone - it always had Guinevere present as a factor in his decisions.

Overall, I think no one with surface level knowledge gets Lancelot as a character because they presume, like Malory, he's a bonafide masculine warrior and not a superhero with a feminine bent.

[gatheringbones]

[“I never felt like I was born in the wrong body,” he says, referring to the dominant medical discourse, though he hated looking in the mirror and says he “felt extreme discomfort” with the body he had. Lucas has been binding his chest for two years using a compression sports bra, always a little too tight, usually followed by a T-shirt and a man’s shirt. He does so for safety, because he sometimes goes to rural Putnam County: “very small, really Southern places,” doing HIV education. “If they knew I was queer, let alone trans, I would probably be killed, so I kind of have to keep all of that very much on the ‘down low’ when I’m doing work out in the community.” But to his co-workers he is “very, very out.” For Lucas, undergoing top surgery is an assertion of what some feminists call bodily autonomy. Pro-choice activists argue that the government has no right to tell women what to do with their body; transgender activists say that they have the right to change their body if they please.

Lucas is at the surgeon’s office with Oliver, a former boyfriend who is also a bearded trans man; and Rachel, a bisexual Latina, his “soul mate and sister.” Lucas says he has “always known” he wanted top surgery,” even before he began injecting testosterone. A few friends in Gainesville who had undergone surgery with Dr. Garramone became mentors to younger trans people in town like Lucas, directing them to friendly therapists and doctors, and helping them get letters for testosterone. Having crowdfunded the $7,000 he needed for top surgery, Lucas is giving away $500 to charity.

And then there is Nadia, a twenty-eight-year-old from St. Louis who works as an employment coach at a nonprofit agency. The odd girl out, she is having her chest masculinized, but not as part of a gender transition. As a how-to book suggests, top surgery is “not just for those transitioning from female to male” but also for others on the gender spectrum, including “gender non-conforming, gender fluid, bi-gender, butch, and so on.” Nadia feels some camaraderie with trans men undergoing top surgery and considers herself “near the trans community, but not in it.” She has short brown hair, bushy eyebrows, and olive skin, and she is wearing large horn-rimmed glasses, a men’s shirt, and hip-hugging straight-leg jeans that look baggy on her slender frame.

When Nadia was twenty-one, her breasts suddenly grew to about a 32C. “They just went boom,” she says, and she told me they felt outsized for her small frame. At certain points in her monthly cycle, when they bloomed even more, she couldn’t even bring herself to get dressed. She felt more comfortable in an androgynous style, wore men’s clothing, and hated the way her buxom bosom made her clothes fit. And she loathes having them touched. She identifies as female and has no interest in taking testosterone, but she sees her breasts as an impediment, a part of her body that does not reflect how she sees herself. Nadia’s queer circle includes trans friends with whom she shares a deep sense of alienation from standard-issue notions of femaleness. She is here with her girlfriend, Flora, an art student whom she met on OkCupid four years ago; the two were drawn together by their mutual interest in art, politics, and graphic novels.

Nadia upends conventional notions of what women should look like and how they should be. She’ll remain female, but she shares with the others here today the belief that their breasts don’t fit and that by changing their bodies they can become more comfortable in their skin and more successful in their lives.”]

arlene stein, from unbound: transgender men and the remaking of identity, 2018

[shouldprobablybereading]

I hate when the difference between rhaenyra and alicent is presented as one having agency and the other not, and that this is why one of them is a feminist and the other upholds the patriarchy

Because this presents the notion that agency is not only is a sign of virtue, but more importantly theirs to decide or take

Rhaenyra doesn’t have agency because she’s a badass feminist, she has it because her father gave it to her. Something otto never did for alicent. It doesn’t mean that rhaenyra hasn’t fought for it or that she doesn’t deserve it, she actually deserves far more just like any woman, but that it’s a privilege and not something that alicent could simply decide to have

Every rule that rhaenyra breaks she gets away with because her father is there to save her, even as he is actively dying viserys has to crawl down to the iron throne and defend her. As amazing as that scene is it’s also utterly ridiculous for a grown woman to not defend herself, and it’s unsurprising that rhaenyra loses nearly everything the second he dies.

Seeing to alicents marriage as well the very same person who gives rhaenyra her freedom also becomes the symbol for alicents lack thereof

This is not to say that rhaenyra is somehow evil or that alicent is innocent. Actually both are extremely selfish and immoral and both are victims to and further uphold the patriarchy

Rhaenyra fights for her own rule and the legitimacy and future of her children. Alicent fights for her sons rule and the legitimacy and future of her children. Rhaenyra being a woman doesn’t make it feminist when she shows no further care for women’s rights outside of the time it affects her or her mother

[feminism839]

The feminist movement highlights how men weaponize safety concerns to maintain control over women. Even when women take precautions for their own security, many men respond with dismissiveness or threats, reinforcing women's vulnerability. This behavior is part of a larger pattern of undermining women's independence and reinforcing male dominance by making women feel powerless, even in situations where they've taken measures to protect themselves. "Who hurt you?" or "you re just bitter" are phrases that crop up in almost every conversation where women share their pain. The purpose isn t to empathize or connect—it s to undermine, to shift the focus away from the legitimacy of her experience. But why does this pattern continue to play out, even among those who claim to care about equality and understanding? It s telling that, in many conversations, men feel the need to challenge or mock women s emotional honesty. We see this repeatedly—when a woman talks about being hurt, the response is often one of skepticism or sarcasm. "You re just bitter," or "who hurt you?" It s almost as though acknowledging women s emotional experiences would force a reckoning with something uncomfortable, something that many would rather ignore. But why is that? Feminist frustration with online activism often stems from its lack of tangible impact. While digital platforms allow for the spread of ideas, many feminists feel that real-world organizing is necessary for true change. The shift from online discourse to physical mobilization is seen as essential for challenging oppressive systems and creating lasting social transformation. Isn t it so fucked up how men will constantly try to deter any woman s sense of safety or power? If a woman says she has big dogs to walk with at night, you ll find men saying "Can it take a bullet " or if a woman has a gun they ll say "I can just twist your wrist and take it from you ". They re always intentionally trying to make us feel threatened and unsafe. Men will go the extra mile to find every possible way to antagonize and harm women, if we have the power to defend ourselves, they will do whatever it takes to undermine it because for them, putting women in danger, stripping us of our agency and safety, gives them power and control. And they have the audacity to call themselves protectors and actually delude themselves to believe it. The idea of women protecting themselves and taking precautions angers them, which is why they always feel the need to undermine it. Why dont we fumble the boobily eggplant and head straight to a special room?

Its not about being explosive; its about finding the right duck. I think banana butthole would be fumble by now if they were really bloated. Gender as a social construct has been used to maintain systems of power. Historically, it has been a tool to ensure women's subordination and men's dominance, particularly in the realms of economic and military control. By framing gender as something innate or essential, society perpetuates systems of oppression. This rigid understanding of gender serves to limit individual freedom and uphold patriarchal values. Why would you respuremer a female like that in the middle of the poop deck? Ive never seen Robo Shrek so tubular; it must be because of Zero. Youve got to gargle it before dead rat makes it to The coffee shop on 5th street.

[mobiused]

Lol when tripleS gravity came out I wrote this big thinkpiece on how giving agency to fans (and pulling agency away from idols) would be a recipe for disaster from both a parasocial and economical POV and look where we are. Jaden pulling from the aesthetics of anti-capitalism, thinking he's woke or whatever for writing a song critiquing "feminist" hyperconsumption, while in the same breath putting the power into the hands of the consumers simultaneously ripping it from the hands of the workers. So that the consumer can control the lives of young women, and not let those women have a voice. And sure whatever ARTMS will get their cut (tiny fraction of a tiny fraction) and that's better than not seeing a dime, but I'm just so curious to see how far he can push the boundary of how much control fans have over idols which is already so much. He won't be able to stop himself from taking a step further, just watch

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

Feminists are constantly telling women that they have absolutely no agency in this world. That the entire half of humanity will always rape, beat, harass, hate and oppress them, no matter what. That being female is nothing but absolute and utter suffering and there are ZERO positive things about being a woman. Then they wonder why a lot of women do not wanna be women at all and why a lot of women feel like absolute crap. They think it's this "sex-based" oppression (which is nothing but a bunch of crap) that is leading women to be this way, but it's them and their manipulative, despicable, bully behinds that are majorly responsible for it. Modern feminism is a horrible ideology that thrives on actual hatred of women and prays on their fears and insecurities but covers it with "care" for women to hide what they really are and takes full emotional advantage of vulnerable women. It disgusts me. Your url is 100% correct. It is a hate movement. They depend on the hatred of life, beauty and happiness to thrive.

Yep.

If you look back through historical photographs, you won't find endless pictures of women and girls with arms like these

until the turn of the 1990s, which is when the first generation of little girls raised by the so-called "second wave" of feminists in the 1970s came of age.

The 'Second Wave' is the point that 1960s student Marxists seeking to destroy the west from within successfully infiltrated and took over all women's rights movements and began applying Marxist class theory to gender. So, instead of all human history being explained away as a "class war", the feminists taught each other all human history could be best explained as a "gender war". That's the point the feminist concept of "Patriarchy" was invented and propagated, and so those little girls being indoctrinated into that at every turn, through the media, entertainment and education system, were relentlessly being told the comfortable, safe lives they were living were a torturous, abusive hell, in which all the big scary men hated them and wanted to hurt them. Life was made to seem a trap they could never escape, and so they took to cutting themselves as an act of release and protest.

And then of course - as with the 'trans' epidemic amongst young girls today - social contagion kicked in and girls began copying each other, reinforcing this idea they were being "oppressed" in every part of life, instead of being cared for and protected much more than the boys around them.

This all led to the stereotypical "tumblrite" of today: wildly neurotic and perpetually terrified girls celebrating, inventing and enthusiastically seeking out every mental illness under the sun, demanding "trigger warnings" be put on everything they encounter to protect them from any glimpse of reality outside of their echo chamber of insanity, incapable of living in, or even understanding, the actual, real-life world.

It's only feminism that made them like this. Feminism is the wound, not the bandage.

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

I have seen a lot of people saying that the show makes Alicent more sympathetic and it honestly pisses me off. Why all of those changes? Why couldn't she be an ambitious woman to be sympathetic?

Many say that the books aren't canon or that we don't know what actually happened, but the book has less abuse towards women than the so called "feminist" show. The Alicent of the books was eighteen and married a twenty eight widowed king, an adult woman who chose to marry and have children and oppose the heir. She was the leader of The Greens, she set everything in motion, not her father.

Now, Alicent in the show is a perpetual victim. She is a sixteen year old forced by her father to marry an old King, forced to have children, forced to raise her children to oppose the heir and forced to start a war. Even adult Alicent is nothing but a victim. She isn't a leader, everyone controls her one way or another, she has no agency.

My question is, for a "feminist" show, how is this better?

How is turning an ambitious woman into nothing but an idiot who doesn't know what the council was planning (despite being part of it in the previous episode) feminist?

Does she have to be abused by everyone in order to produce sympathy?

Are they really so bad at writing that brutalizing woman was the only way they could make people feel for them?

While I did not like book! Alicent, I respected her. Show Alicent just bores me and doesn't even seen real.

From Alicent, to Laena and to Rhaenyra, in the book they weren't mistreated by their husbands, but in the show all of them were.

How is taking away their agency better?

Alicent, Rhaenys and Rhaenyra are active characters in the books and are the ones who want to kill their enemies. In HotD all of the leadership and decision making that belong to the women they gave It to the men.

They really love their "women are peaceful" agenda. Women can be evil, they can be violent, they can be political, they can't want what was promised to them, they can be proud, they can want to marry, they can want to have children, they can want the same that a man wants.

If a woman has traits typicaly asociated with men, they can be sympathetic?

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

You can pick this apart if you want, cause I am definitely uninformed on the topic, but I think that lets me give a bit of neutral input I wanted to add to the conversation to see what people who do know about it have to say, but basically I think the “Overbearing Demeter” characterization is like...kind of the modern aspect of some of those retellings? People are drawn to that characterization over “Grieving mother” because in the society these retellings are made in, women (and really all people) do tend to have like? A bit more agency over their love lives, and sometimes their biggest adversaries are their parents. The idea of a mother not wanting to give up her daughter to her husband just doesn’t often mean because no one has a choice in the matter, it often means it’s because the mother doesn’t respect the daughter’s choice or doesn’t see her daughter as her own person or as an adult. I think maybe this characterization evolved not out of disrespect but because that’s the type of a story a reader, or writer, is more likely to feel seen and resonate with, which may also be why it’s touted as feminist because people think that because it resonates mlre with them Now that it must’ve not been feminist before, when it reality it’s just feminist about an issue we don’t face as often in this western society.

But again. I don’t actually know a lot about myths and the retellings or anything, my brain just saw a possibility as to Why things may be how they are.

I get the idea of what you’re saying, the ‘overbearing mother’ is more relatable. But the fact is, we have so much of that in media.

To bring this back around again, (and to preface, I’m not an expert, this is all from personal study) Persephone being taken to the underworld, whether consensually or otherwise, is a metaphor for arranged marriage/dying young, and Demeter grieving her daughter after losing her, and fighting to get her back. Of course, the Arranged marriage thing isn’t very relatable any more, at least not so much amongst the general western population. So to focus on the death,

There are ways to do this, and have Persephone choose Hades. Mental Health is very topical now, y’know, and having a story of a young girl choosing to go to the underworld, choosing Hades, choosing death, could be very meaningful, especially when this is then followed up by having her mother grieve for her, and fight to get her back, and want to make things better for her again. Retellings could twist the tale any way they want to, make it so Persephone takes the pomegranate seeds knowing what it means, but not being able to take herself away from the world of the living forever.

But there’s this big latch onto the concept of Big Evil Mother, Who won’t let her daughter be happy. Instead of trying to find ways to keep the positive mother/daughter bond between Persephone and Demeter.

Because as much as feminism is ‘letting women have agency’, feminism is also not demonising women for… being women. Because that’s what Demeter’s story is. In this Hymn, she is a grieving mother. And of course there can be bad women in media, I’m not saying that there can’t be, but to twist a figure into a villain solely for the sake of ‘feminism’ when the sake of their story is to provide a comfort to women is… odd

Because the thing is, to modernise a tale, it’s not about modernising the plot but also the moral, the meaning. It was meant to comfort grieving mothers, by showing a grieving mother taking power and bringing back the daughter she has lost. Even from Persephone’s perspective, it’s about her mother loving her so much that her mother brings her back from the underworld, and Persephone then using her knowledge as queen of the underworld to comfort those who are scared of dying. It’s about comforting those who have lost and those who are lost.

And my problem with the overbearing Demeter trend is that they entirely forget that.

I haven’t done enough study into different iterations, perhaps there are some which portray Demeter that way, but I don’t have to in order to know that, regardless, people don’t care about those versions, they care about what they want to say and they don’t put in the effort to find the versions of the myths that dance to the same tune they’re playing. I’d love to see thematically faithful retellings, even with Demeter overstepping. But that’s not what’s happening.

[horizon-verizon]

Alysanne is treated awfully by her husband, who is never once confronted by the narrative for his horrible behaviour. Who would rather risk her dying in childbirth than take any steps to prevent pregnancy as she requests, forces her beloved and mentally disabled daughter to be married off despite the obvious risk to her life and refuses to take responsibility when Daella inevitable suffers an awful death, and who values people of Alysanne’s gender so little that he completely goes against Westerosi custom by passing over his own granddaughter.

If Alysanne, powerless apart from what Jaehaerys deigned to grant her, helpless to stop her daughters being out at risk or to decide for herself to see Saera again, is GRRM’s example of a good queen, it’s pretty sad.

I understand the frustration, since again we never get more queens exactly like Rhaenys or Visenya and even here we may comment on how un-feminist or anti woman it is to not have them as "ideal" queens when Rhaenys died in the violence of war (the eradication of women in fiction) while Visenya enables a tyrant to rule...but really F&B and the Targaryens' history was not really supposed to be a feminist tale BECAUSE the history--though not-- was meant to show the decline of royal female power & agency that happened due to the assimilation into Andal patriarchy for power and/or to get a foothold and unified state to fight against the Others if you think of the theory of Aegon having a dragon dream about this. Especially in connection to Dany's rise.

AND I will say I do agree to critique on how GRRM's writing sometimes inspires anti-woman-ess through a paltry (thought we can't say nonexistent, there is a punishment against rape or sense of social taboo on rape in Westeros, but...) pushback or punishment for rape and violence against women [joannalannister]. I'm saying that GRRM's work is not meant to be taken as actual feminist literature but a series that really sets out to dramatize already obvious and present/past truths and conditions...sometimes to the detriment of its female characters and the impression made on readers. GRRM is still a liberal-ist white man.

AT THE SAME TIME, SINCE THIS ISN'T A FEMINIST SERIES BUT A "LOOK WHAT CAN HAPPEN" SORT OF THING:

I think that the whole point is that, yes, this is sad and it stems from how limiting such a set up/social conditions are AND Alysanne was a politically "good" queen. How she treats her own kids and is complicit in how they died or ran away should be a part of how "good" one is as a general sort of leader, yeah, but unlike Jaehaerys and the "good" he did, Alysanne's "good" acts for the realm had much more of a necessary impact in the sociopolitical landscape of their subjects. And I mean towards more marginalized groups, esp women. It's like she made sure to "round up" those left behind in other aristocrat's projects.

la-pheacienne says this:

Whether that someone has been chosen by the people, or by the gods, or by destiny, or by circumstances, and regardless of the political system that allowed them to yield that power, the point is that someone has power ad hoc at any given time, and power equals responsibility. What do you do with it? How do you govern? How do you choose between two equally grievous alternatives? Who do you listen to? Who do you trust? How can you learn? What if everything you've been told was a lie? How do you move on from there? What if the promises you made contradict each other? What if you fail? How do you live with the guilt, how do you go on? How do you instigate a structural change? What if you try to do that and people die? What if you try to do that and it kills you? Was it worth it?

On top of that, Alysanne was still a Consort, not a Regnant. (POST & POST) She had less power than Rhaenya or Visenya, who though were not exactly Regnants they also weren't just Aegon's wives but consummate and active politicians themselves, making deals in the open, riding dragons into wars, enacting laws, and creating institutions.

Alysanne had to rely on her husband's power to have and hope to have her thoughts on legislation come to reality. It is just a fact that queen consorts, unlike Queen Regnants, had to depend on their royal husband's favor, regard, or perception of need of them to have any semblance of power. Because they were women and consorts. It's part of the deal, the sociopolitical conditions. In reality and real history, it was such for MOST queen consorts.

Yeah they had more power at court and influenced their husbands, but you are seeing in Alysanne something that looks like what that sort of power could have been like. Even Alysanne had more influence over Jaehaerys than some real queen Consorts and those that came after her! Think of Rhaella, Naerys, Myriah Martell, etc.

Were there female consorts in real history who practiced more influence, power, etc. than their officially ruling husband or were their active equals in terms of policy making while showing some power over their kids lives than just, of course! But this is not the rule of the land, but exceptions. Nor the most common experience of medieval/early-mod-period women/female consorts precisely bc it was thought women didn't make good rulers. There is Empress Sisi, who couldn't even keep her own children close to her because royal children are not considered the Queen's but those "of the state", so the emperor and/or his mother could force them apart for any reason.

Juxtapose this to the Viserra situation. Alysanne actually was the one to arrange for the marriages she knew her husband wanted (esp after the whole deal with Daella refusing nearly every man/boy), and insisted to Viserra she had to marry Theomore Manderly. She had more power over her kids than you may think...it's not perfect because she is of course anticipating & complying with Jaehaerys' desires for the girls to be married off quick enough to build certain alliances or to just get rid of them, but she does not allow herself to really think the match bad and refuses to listen to her daughter. There was will here, from Alysanne not present in Sisi, and again, she had more power than later Consorts...yet based in Jaehaerys' will because she is a Consort and a dragonrider (helps the impression and image to gain "respect").

So we're presented with another question this series inspires: when & how should someone lay blame or responsibility on marginalized groups, identities, etc. like women of aristocratic classes, men of lower classes, either of different "races" (fiction and reality), and with what evidence?

First, Alysanne married Jaehaerys as his companion since she was 13. Before that, they were very close and were more or less each other's most important and intimate companions for years. She saw him as the default king, the leader, and herself as a necessary ingredient to Westeros' prosperity. That they would work more together than other couples...She was both right and wrong, and I think/headcanon she was sorely and quietly disappointed well before she observed Jaehaerys pass a girl over the 2nd time. So she acted the way she did at "home" towards her kids to feel more in control bc that is where Jaehaerys left her to act with some agency or authority more.

Second, Daenerys is the example of a "perfect", ideal, but also realistic "good queen"; someone that realistically and optimistically chooses to do good with the power she has and has managed to find value and meaning to use said power for others other than herself despite all that she went through. How those things would likely have turned some other women out, who were compelled to be more self-oriented, like Rhaenyra or Daena. She is purposefully different from her ancestors this way, but also similar to a lot of them, in that particular inner strength that she has to reinforce her altruism. That doesn't mean that people who don't do that special balance of strong altruism to her level are completely incapable, evil, or "bad queens".

Cersei? Hell yes, but even with Cersei we must acknowledge how while she is how she is bc she herself is pretty narcissistic and has been since young, most of her circumstances also has her try to make things better for herself due to certain circumstances and most criticism against her in the fandom--or the loudest--are sexist or just unfair. Alysanne? She at least did something where most did nothing and went against the clear wishes of her husband, and within the timeline she still is a source of inspiration for people like Dany. That has to mean something or there really is less of a source to compare oneself and learn from or to be able to analyze the good, bad, and how things developed the way they have.

This is a world where you are not encouraged to think outside of your own class, much less the principles and ideology about your gender. There are little to no thinkpieces or essays about how sexist some men and women are, what gives them the feeling that the way they think is correct, etc. There was and is no vocabulary for that; there is just experience and having to respond to your environment. You have to do the legwork yourself, and your group and support system, your own connections, and play the game. Sometime, you will fall off and especially when you have been bested or someone has used their socially given advantage over you...was Jaehaerys has done to Alysanne a few times or what courtiers and other lords can do.

So, with this in mind, I think it's important to acknowledge that yes while GRRM did not supply more examples of ideally acting "good queens", he does provide a clear outlook on how women could, would, and did act in real life history and TODAY. Because those questions about how to be a good ruler or a good person or how to differentiate. But it's not GRRM's personal example, necessarily or what he thinks a woman is capable of in his idea of a what a good medieval queen cold be. Alysanne is a "good" queen in that she does try to think of her subjects' needs before aristocrats' even with her behavior towards her daughters. To undermine that in our understanding that she did what did to her daughters is probably on GRRM, but more on others.

Jaehaerys was that sincerely altruistic: right of first night abolishment, the KL drinking water, her attempts to convince maesters of girls and women becoming maesters, etc. Again, It is Queen Consorts, unlike Queen regnants, had to depend on her royal husband's favor, regard, or perception of need of her to have any semblance of power because she is a woman and a Consort. I

I suppose I'm trying to say that in the process of understanding rather than being told what is right or logical, it's important to "good queens" from the context of which they come and take serious their conditions to understand the nuances of how truly "good" they were...even if we can say being a "good" queen needs to be an absolute in the first place.

Does Alysanne need to be a perfect feminist to be a good Queen? What if she is also responding to the setbacks against her AS she is trying to rule better, these setbacks that are designed for a man, her husband, to have more power than her and even to stop inhibit her ability to address certain problems without fear of losing said power given to her in the first place bc of her connection to him and official subordination to his paternal rule?

Outside of how he writes sexual violence and general violence against women, the line b/t power of self vs power from men, present in women's authority (especially in pre-feminist movement history), must be studied with some more nuance than with men's power. On our part as readers.

I'd say that GRRM uses violence against women as too much of a "gotcha" or flagrantly uses it as a device of emphasis than it needs to be, which simultaneously converts it to something psychologically insubstantial, something we shouldn't pay as much mind to, yes. The specific events of violence or normalization of violence done to women in ASoIaF that doesn't match real historical realities for women is definitely a huge concern because of this, but to mistake the power dynamics b/t a Consort and her ruling husband and most women to men does not help matters.