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portalford · 4 years ago

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I Can Picture You So Easily

AO3

It hits Stan at the stupidest times.

Well. That makes it sounds like Stan just forgets, when really it never quite goes away — sometimes it’s just more.

Like now.

He’s looking in the mirror — he found it tucked way, way back in a closet (and he’s gonna skip right over that because when he got here the mirror in the bathroom was broken, cracked until you couldn’t see a thing and why was Ford—nope) — and he’s trying out a new look for Mr. Mystery.

Gotta keep it fresh, right? Accessorize?

Glasses aren’t accessories, unfortunately. He can’t go without them anymore.

(Really, he needed them years ago, but he was too stubborn to admit it, or too broke, or whatever, but he’s literally tripping over his own feet now. Needs must).

Ford wouldn’t be caught dead in this getup. No sense of fashion. So that’s fine.

The glasses—

(Ford started wearing glasses when he was six. Stan had laughed himself silly when they went to the drugstore and tried on the biggest, most obnoxious frames they could find. Ma had scolded, but she’d been too distracted checking price tags to do more than scold.

In the end, they went with some cheap horn-rimmed frames that Stan wouldn’t be caught dead in even now. Old-man glasses, at six. But that was Ford all over).

—they bring some stuff up. The twin thing sucks, sometimes.

(Looking in a mirror and seeing the changes, the lines in his face, the grey in his hair — does Ford have crow’s feet now? Is his hair going silver? It was always unmanageable — is it thinning like Stan’s is now, or is it still thick and flyaway, like it was when Ford was sixteen? Did he even live long enough to get lines in his face and aches in his joints, or is he forever twenty-eight, dead somewhere in the universe?)

Time to stop thinking.

Notice the differences.

Stan’s ears and nose are bigger than Ford’s, always have been. He’s heavier and his shoulders are broader.

(Has Ford gotten bulkier, fighting to survive? Or is still he halfway to gaunt, like the last time Stan saw him?)

Definitely time to stop thinking.

Stan flashes a smile, and yeah, that’s all him. Cheerful, magnetic, and a hundred percent fake.

Time to work the crowds.

*****

There’s an ad for the nice ink pens Ford saved up to buy when he was fourteen.

Stan turns it off.

*****

Mabel finds a picture, once.

“Grunkle Stan!” Her eyes are all lit up as she shows him the torn photograph. “I found this under a floorboard in the attic!”

If Stan ever had any doubts about his poker face, he can lay them to rest now. It’s all on the ropes and his expression is perfectly level, maybe even a little curious.

Mabel is still talking. “I didn’t know there were pictures of you before you were all old! Do you have any others?”

Oh.

Stan still forgets sometimes, even after everything, that most people can’t tell him and Ford apart.

He knows better.

The young man in the photograph is unmistakably Ford, taken while he was living in Gravity Falls. He’s got his head bent over that journal of his, but the photographer managed to catch the eager light in his eye, the edge of his smile.

Stan wonders who that photographer was, all those years ago.

A tug at his shirt reminds him he’s not alone, and he definitely can’t get messed up about this picture of his secret twin brother.

Mabel’s face has fallen a bit. “Grunkle Stan? Are you okay?”

Stan gives himself two more seconds to look at the picture — Ford just looks so happy; Stan can’t even remember the last time Ford looked like that, even before it all fell apart — and turns to Mabel.

“Yeah,” he says. He smiles and ruffles her hair. “Pretty good picture, huh?”

*****

The name is the worst.

Stan never thought identity theft could involve so little fun.

Usually he can get away with just “Stan Pines,” and that’s fine. That’s his name. That’s who he’s supposed to be.

Sometimes, though, that’s not enough for whoever’s asking.

“What did you say your name was again?”

He smiles. Lays it on thick. “Stanford Pines.”

“Could you sign here?”

He does. His blocky, uneven handwriting looks even worse than usual where he’s expecting to see neat, flowing script, the way Stanford Pines is supposed to be written.

“This is Stanford Pines,” someone will say. “Mr. Mystery.”

Stan smiles some more. Yes, Stanford Pines is certainly that.

Gideon is the worst. Stanford this and Stanford that and Stan’s never wanted to punch a child so much in his life.

“Stanford Pines!”

He smiles, and he lies.

*****

Dipper halfway drives him nuts sometimes.

It’s not like the kid’s a mini-Ford — he reminds Stan enough of himself, sometimes, though Stan’s not sure that’s great either — but he’s got the brains and the stubbornness and the love of weird nonsense, for sure.

He’s also got that obsessive edge, the drive that sent Ford right off the metaphorical cliff.

Usually Mabel tags along on the weirdness hunts — they make a day of it. They go out, just the two of them, and come back laughing and joking and shoving at each other.

That’s enough of a painful reminder, but sometimes Stan will catch Mabel sitting by herself, coloring or crafting with a little less energy than usual, and he’ll realize that Dipper’s buried himself in monster theory again.

He tries to keep the kid busy with chores and hustle, but it’s a losing battle.

It was the first time, too.

*****

There’s this old song that Ford used to love when they were younger.

It’s got no words, and Stan used to make fun of it — what's the point of a song with no words? But Ford insisted it had Meaning, capital M.

It comes on the radio now and then.

Depending on how masochistic Stan is feeling that day, he might let it play.

He still wonders what Ford heard in this song, and if Ford would hear it now.

*****

He realizes, one day near the end, that he’s been Stanford longer than he’s been Stanley.

What’s the point, really? What does a name matter if it’s so easy for someone else to take your place?

(Did Ford matter so little, in the grand scheme of things, that not one person could recognize him in a place he lived for six years?

Does Stan, in a place he’s lived for almost thirty?)

If he could just stop catching Ford in his reflection now and then, that’d be great.

*****

It’s not any better once Ford gets back (once Stan brings Ford back, the ungrateful bastard).

“Stanford!”

Stan’s got a smile on his face before he even turns around, and what’s wrong with him that he’s halfway made this lie into a Pavlovian response? Someone calls him Stanford, he smiles and lies.

(Stanford — the real Stanford — is in the basement right now. He doesn’t even exist, as far as anyone else is concerned. Stan is Stanford, Stanley is dead, and Ford is a nonentity.

What a life this is).

*****

“So how was it?”

Stan grunts. “How was what?”

Ford rolls his neck, wincing a little as he works out the unavoidable crick from hunching over a drawing for twenty minutes. “Being me.”

Stan shrugs. “Wasn’t hard. We’re basically the same person, y’know.”

Ford snorts. A long time (a lifetime) ago that comment might have gotten him worked up, but he’s steadier now, softer around the edges. “Very funny. I saw your lease renewal. You didn’t even change your handwriting, for heaven’s sake.”

“Ford, I rolled up to town, said I was you, and started a tourist trap. You had a total personality transplant and nobody noticed.” Stan grimaces. That sounded really bad.

Ford’s expression has gone rueful and a little sad at the edges, but he doesn’t seem like he’s about launch into full-blown self-recrimination, so that’s fine. “Yes, well. That’s what happens when you isolate yourself for six years and your only friend erases his mind to cope with the mistakes you made.”

And that’s Ford trying to shoulder all the blame again, but Stan keeps his mouth shut. They’re both too comfortable to argue right now. “Being honest — for once — it kinda sucked.” Ford’s looking at him, open and encouraging, so Stan keeps going. “Everyone thought I was you, and it—I wasn’t. I didn’t want to be.” Stan shrugs. “I wanted you you.”

Ford smiles, and it’s a little more worn than Stan remembers, but it’s real, and it’s him. “I understand. I met a few parallel versions of you on my travels, and they were you, but — they weren’t really you.” Ford closes his journal (his new one) and sets it aside, tipping his head back over his chair. More playfully, he adds, “I wouldn’t want to be you either, Stanley.”

Stan laughs. “Yeah? Couldn’t handle the salesmanship?”

“Have more self-respect than to wear any part of your wardrobe.”

“Says the man who wears sweaters in the summer.”

Ford lifts his head and smiles, and this time it’s almost exactly how Stan remembers — quick and a little crooked. “Fair enough.” Ford stretches, rolls his neck again. “For what it’s worth, Stanley, I am glad to be back.” A wry look. “Even if it’s going to take ages to sort out the criminal record you gave me.”

Stan slouches deeper into the couch. Any further and he’s going to slide off, but that’s a risk he’ll take. “Yeah, yeah. Talk to me when you’re legally dead.”

“You did that.”

“And?”

“I legally don’t exist.”

“I was trying to learn theoretical physics at the time, Stanford; cut a man some slack.”

Ford laughs, quiet. “Did I ever thank you for that?”

Stan cracks an eye open. He didn’t realize he closed them. “What, learnin’ physics? Because I’m pretty sure that’s some of the stuff that’s not coming back.”

Ford rolls his eyes. “For saving me.”

“Hm.” Ford’s thanked him several times, but lately it’s been less Ford kicking himself and more Ford cautiously trying to engage in the old back-and-forth they used to have, and Stan can get behind that one. “I dunno. Might have to say it again.”

“You’re burning through my gratitude very quickly,” Ford says mildly, “but all right. Thank you for saving me. You knucklehead.”

Stan never got called that when he was Ford. He thinks he’s missed it, at least the way Ford says it — like it means something completely different.

“Uh-huh.” Stan’s eyes are closed again. He figures he’ll just leave them closed. “Missed you too, nerd.”

And maybe there’s something to be said for being your own person.

It feels pretty good.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #stanley pines #stanford pines #back on the angst with a happy ending train #feat. a side of introspection and melodrama!#i love it here

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fallen-gravity · 4 years ago

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awaken the stars, ‘cause they’re all around you

Stanford Pines never really believed in soulmates.

He can't imagine the idea that there's one person out there for him in the multiverse who would stop at nothing to love him for who he is, despite everything he is and everything he's done. He can't imagine that someone out there is meant for him, someone who will stand by his side until the end of time.

Or maybe he'd just been looking at it from the wrong angle.

Notes:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @stariousfalls!!!!! I can't believe we've been friends for upwards of five years now?? You've been a huge inspiration of mine from my first day in the gravity falls fandom back in late 2014, and now you're one of my closest friends. I've been spending the last week and a half working on this behind your back, because I wanted to surprise you with a gift I thought you'd love!!

7.5k words of fluff was....not my original plan, but fluff brain wanted to go feral for you, I guess.

Huge, huge shoutout to @ariasofelegance for helping me keep my mouth shut about this, I absolutely would've internally combusted without your help & support

AO3

Ford never saw the appeal of romantic relationships.

One night when he and Stan were kids, they snuck downstairs in the middle of the night after their parents were asleep to dig through Pa’s “Secret stash” of movies he thought he was good at keeping a secret. They’d thought for sure they’d be coming across bootleg cuts of action movies that were still playing in theaters, or documentaries about how all of the politicians in power were secretly aliens.

What they actually found was much more…sensual. They were both horrified, to say the least, but each time Ford had to turn away to prevent himself from gagging, he’d hear Stan beside him struggling not to laugh.

For years, Ford was convinced coming across those tapes before he was old enough to fully comprehend what was happening in them is what had turned him off to relationships altogether. It certainly didn’t help that he was never able to experience romantic relationships firsthand, as every time he tried asking someone out in high school he’d just be laughed at or called a freak.

Though college was another story entirely, his feelings towards romantic relationships never seemed to change. He went out with a girl from his dungeons, dungeons, and more dungeons club for a few weeks, a guy from his advanced physics class for almost two months, and even tried going out with Fiddleford for upwards of nine months, but he never felt that deeper connection with any of them, no matter how much he wanted to feel that connection.

It’d be forty more years before he learned the term aromantic, but when he was still in college he would brush off his parents’ questions about his relationship status by telling them he was too busy working on his thesis, which technically wasn’t all that far from the truth anyway.

Still, the faint sense of yearning never seemed to leave him be. Whenever he found gaps in his schedule, he would spend hours in his university library reading up on the science of relationships and their place in society. Though he no longer remembers most of the papers he read, one scientific study that’s always stuck with him was a dissertation written entirely on the concept of soulmates.

Everyone has a soulmate, the paper claimed. Though it may be decades until you properly meet, your path always leads to the moment that you and your soulmate are finally united. Once finally together, not a single force on earth can tear you apart. Even if you are apart physically, the stars will always align to bring you together. Weirdest of all, the paper mentioned soulmarks, which were described as “the phenomenon that a person’s very soul is marked with a piece that belongs to their soulmate, which may appear as a physical anomaly on a person’s body, such as an oddly-shaped birthmark”.

Ford had thought for sure that somebody must’ve moved a romance novel into the sociology section of the library as a joke. The only sort of anomaly he had going for him was his polydactyly, and thinking too much about how that could connect him to a single person who was destined to love him gave him a headache.

Nowadays, though, Ford tries not to give it much thought. He’s perfectly happy right where he is, watching the sunrise from the deck of the Stan O’ War II through the steam visibly rising from his coffee mug.

He sighs contently.

“Mornin’” Stan’s voice sounds beside him, gruff with sleep. When Ford turns to look at him, he’s rubbing at his eyes with one hand while he holds a steaming cup of coffee in his other. He’s already donning one of the sweaters Mabel mailed to him, a deep blue with a tropical island and a treasure chest stitched across the chest.

Ford smirks. “You’re up early”

Stan cocks an eyebrow as he sips from his coffee. “A’course I am. I always get up early when we’re docking to see the kids”

Ford blinks, the teasing smirk on his face melting into a gentle smile. “That’s today?”

“Haven’t you checked the calendar lately?” Stan tosses a second handmade sweater at Ford. This one’s the same shade of maroon as his journal covers, and pictures an angry cycloptopus squirting ink towards the bottom left corner of the sweater. “The kids are on spring break. They talked to their parents about letting us have ‘em all week”

Ford is quick to pull the warm sweater over his head. “All week?”

He can’t help sounding like a broken record, but it’s been months since the last time he saw the kids face to face. Sure, they talk over video at least once a week, but nothing beats seeing their smiling faces and having them nearly tackle him to the ground in a hug in-person.

“Heh, you miss em too, Sixer?”

As little as two years ago, Ford would’ve flinched at the nickname. But Bill is gone for good, and Ford knows that Bill is gone for good, and Stan made a promise to do anything in his power to help him reclaim the nickname. He brings his mug close to his face without taking a sip, allowing himself to take in the warmth in his hands and the steam in his face.

“Not as much as you, clearly” Ford smirks, and Stan crosses his arms over his chest.

“You bet I missed them more than you. I’d been taking care of them all summer before you showed up and fell in love with them in half that time”

Ford smirks as he finishes up his coffee and heads into the navigation room to set their course. “By that logic, wouldn’t that mean that I miss them more, since I had less time with them?”

“Hey!” Stan groans as he follows him into the room. “It does not. It means that you don’t know them like I know them, genius. Everyone knows that it’s all about how much time you’ve spent with a person that determines how close you are with them”

Ford laughs as he enters the coordinates they need to get to the seaport they were meeting the young twins at. From the looks of it, it’d be three hours before they arrived.

“Mm, and who put that study together? Was it you?”

Stan doesn’t reply with words, just a noise that sounds halfway between disgruntled and baffled. It makes Ford laugh even harder, and he wipes at his eyes with a wrist. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees Stan’s overdramatic pout melt away until he’s laughing too.

The sight of it makes the smile on Ford’s face widen. It’d been decades since the two of them were able to just be like this. It’d been so long since the last time Ford heard Stan’s genuine laugh that he’d gone and forgotten what it sounded like altogether. When he was still traveling the multiverse, he searched far and wide for a shred of hope, something to keep his anxieties and nightmares from catching up to him.

What a fool he’d been to ignore his childhood memories of home.

The trip is a quiet but familiar one. Ford can’t talk much when he’s steering because he needs to be on constant lookout, but Stan remains in the room to talk at him and keep him company anyway. The sun is well over the horizon by the time they reach the seaport, and call it instincts, intuition, or something else entirely, because Ford spots the kids sitting on a bench in the near distance the moment he and Stan step foot onto the dock.

They’re squished closely together, watching a video on Mabel’s phone. Whether they’re aware of it or not, they’re swaying their legs back and forth underneath the bench in perfect unison. On the ground beside them are their backpacks, overstuffed with so many things that both of them are popping open.

Most importantly, neither of them have noticed that Ford and Stan are approaching them.

Ford exchanges an amused glance with Stan, and clears his throat to catch their attention.

The phone nearly stumbles out of their hands in shock when they look up and meet their eyes.

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel squeals, standing to sprint past Ford to knock Stan off of his feet. Ford chuckles at the sight, but not quickly enough to hear Dipper’s “Great Uncle Ford!”, and before he knows it he’s hitting the floor too. The young twins are laughing messes, and stumble over each other as they try to stand to their feet and help their Grunkles up.

Mabel spits out the hair that stuck to her mouth, and pulls a hair tie seemingly out of thin air to tie her hair up into a ponytail. It’s only now that Ford realizes that she and Dipper are also both wearing sweaters, and if Ford had to guess, it looks like Mabel made both of these sweaters as well. Mabel’s is a galaxy print with actual twinkling stars, and Ford makes a mental note to ask her later what she did to make it glow like that. Dipper’s is also space themed, though his pictures the big dipper splotched across a black night sky with a bright orange meteor shooting through the center.

“You have to tell us about everything you’ve encountered”, Dipper beams, once Stan finishes brushing himself off.

Stan cocks an eyebrow. “Two years’ worth is a lot to get through, kiddo”

“Exactly!” Mabel beams, turning to pick up her backpack and put it on. “Which is exactly why you can tell us on the way to the hotel!”

“Hotel?” Ford and Stan ask in unison.

“Surprise?” Dipper giggles. “Our parents rented us a hotel room for the week cause they figured you’d appreciate some time away from the boat”

“It’ll be like our summer in Gravity Falls all over again!” Mabel grins. “But in reverse! You’re in our territory now”

Stan laughs. “You’re the boss, kiddo”

“You bet I am!” She beams, and hands Dipper his backpack. “Now c’mon! If you tell us all of the horrors you’ve encountered out at sea, we’ll tell you about all the horrors we’ve encountered in high school!”

“I...think I remember those horrors pretty well already, thank you” Ford smiles sheepishly, adjusting his glasses. “But we’d be more than glad to tell you some of our own stories”

It’s a short walk to the bus stop, but Ford honestly wouldn’t mind if they walked all the way to the hotel on foot if it meant an extra half an hour with the kids. They’re just as eccentric as he remembers, attached at the hip but still wildly different people all on their own. Dipper’s still hanging on to every word he’s saying, and Mabel’s still skipping along like she’s in her own world.

Once they reach the hotel and check in, Dipper collapses face first onto one of the beds the moment he steps into the room, groaning.

Stan smiles. “Something bothering you, kiddo?”

He turns on his side to look Stan in the eye, his face smushing into the pillow. “Mabel didn’t let me get any sleep last night. She insisted on getting to the seaport three whole hours early because she insisted that she had this gut feeling that you guys would have the same idea and we’d magically show up at the same time”

Mabel pouts, and sits on the bed besides him. “Well it’s not my fault you stayed up late reading that dumb book of yours. Plus, would you rather have kept them waiting for three hours?”

Dipper removes his hat and places it on the table beside him, exposing just enough of his forehead through his hair to reveal his birthmark. It has the same faint glow to it as Mabel’s sweater, and Ford wonders how the two could possibly reflect off of each other.

“Their boat has beds and a fully stocked kitchen, Mabel. They can afford to wait. All we had were those strawberry pop tarts that you ate five minutes after we got there”

Ford can’t help but smile softly at their banter. He missed them so, so, much more than he could’ve ever imagined. He’s got half a mind to stow them away on the boat at the end of the week and homeschool them both himself so he never has to be apart from them again.

Apart. The word still feels like a knife twisted into his chest. There’s nothing he regrets more than trying to separate the young twins from each other two summers ago because he’d been so caught up in projecting his own fears onto the pair. He’d tried apologizing to Mabel over the whole ordeal, but she stopped him before he could even start to tell him he had nothing to worry about.

He only wishes he could learn to forgive himself as easily as she did.

“...Can we, Grunkle Ford?”

He blushes. Had he just said all of that out loud?

“Can we...what?”

“Take the boat out! Not right now, since Dips is being a grumpy-grump and insists on wasting precious time with a nap, but we’ve been talking about it all week”

From across the room, Stan snorts. “Let me get this straight,” he takes his jacket off and hangs it up in the closet. At this point Ford swears his eyes must be playing tricks on him, because Stan’s old burn scar is glowing just as Mabel’s sweater and Dipper’s birthmark are. “All the time you spent groaning and complaining about fishing every time I took you in Gravity Falls, and now you’re asking to go fishing?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a joy ride,” Dipper yawns from under the covers. “But if agreeing to go fishing is what gets you to say yes, then sure”

He’s smirking under the covers, Ford can tell, because he inherited that expression from Stan.

Stan’s about to bite back, but Dipper must not have been exaggerating about how long he and Mabel were waiting for them at the dock, because he’s already out cold. Stan smiles at him, gently ruffling up his hair before he takes a seat on the adjacent bed, kicking his shoes off so he can kick his feet up on the bed and relax. Ford sits beside Stan, and Stan slings his arms behind him to support his head in his hands as he glances over at Ford.

“They make you wanna retire the whole ‘treasure hunting’ thing and move into the city to be closer to ‘em too?”

Ford chuckles. “I’ve already considered hiding them away on the boat twice today already.” He taps at his chin. “Though I suppose that moving in with them would go over better with their parents then taking them away to live on a boat”

“Hmm…” Stan taps at his chin as well. “Being stuck in the same stuffy high school for four years, or living on a boat traveling all over the world whenever they feel like it? I dunno about you, Sixer, but I have a pretty good idea on what the kids would prefer”

“Grunkle Stan? Grunkle Ford?” Mabel’s voice suddenly chimes in, and Ford blushes, wondering how much of that she just heard.

“What’s on your mind, pumpkin?” Stan asks.

“Well, uh, Dipper was right about us only eating once really early this morning, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to, uh” She twirls her hair between her fingers. “Cook something for us? For old time’s sake?”

Okay, it’s settled, Ford’s never letting these kids go again.

“Sure, kiddo. Soon as your brother’s up we’ll head right back up, okay?”

“Okay!” she beams, and crawls back into her side of the bed, staring at Dipper like she can will him into waking up on command.

Though Ford would’ve been okay if they’d had to wait hours for him, it’s really only about twenty minutes before Dipper opens his eyes again and nearly shrieks in surprise at Mabel’s face hovering three inches from his own. He smacks his hand into her face to shove her away, and she giggles as she rolls off the bed and onto the floor.

Beside Ford, Stan smirks. “Better get up before we leave without you and all our food goes to Mabel, kiddo. You’ve got plenty of time to crash in Ford’s bed on the ship, since he never seems to use it anyway”

Dipper yawns, rubbing at his eyes as he kicks the covers off. “I hadn’t even realized I’d fallen asleep”

“I didn’t realize you were even capable of sleep, bro-bro” Mabel punches him in the shoulder as she walks past him to put her shoes on. He glares at her wordlessly, and Ford has to cover up his snicker with a fake cough.

This time, the bus ride and the walk back to the ship are a quiet one. Ford never really lets himself let his guard down and relax for an extended period of the time, so he cherishes any moment he can get where he finally feels like he doesn’t constantly feel the need to check over his shoulder for signs of danger. Most of the time, if you asked him about his heightened senses, he’d call them a curse. But on days like these, when he can hear the birds chirping and the waves smacking gently against the boats in the seaport, he’d almost go as far as calling it a blessing.

The kids take a seat at the dining table as soon as they enter the kitchen, and Stan grins at them from over his shoulder as he clicks the stove on. “Whaddya say, Stancakes?”

Dipper and Mabel grimace in unison. “Ewwww, Grunkle Stan, you promised lunch!” Mabel scrunches her nose, and Stan’s grin only widens.

“Ah, ah, you said like old times. That means I get to decide what to make, and you have to eat it because I’m your legal guardian”.

“Well I wasn’t even awake when you were talking about old times, so I’d say that cancels out” Dipper crosses his arms over his chest, and Ford can’t help but smile warmly at the three of them as he reaches into the cupboard for his favorite coffee mug. The younger twins clearly had just gotten two copies of the same mug, but crossed both of them out so they’d say #1 GRUNKLES on them instead of #1 UNCLE. Stan has the other one, of course, but he keeps it on his bedside to hold small treasures and keepsakes because it’s, in his own words, “Too special to waste on something as ordinary as coffee”.

Ford sits himself in the seat between the younger twins at their okay, and after some back and forth banter between the four of them, they end up settling for burgers. Truth be told, this is the first time Ford’s eaten a meal in a group larger than two since the last time he and Stan visited the young twins in the winter, and he can’t help but smile into his food at the thought. The closest he’d come even remotely close to eating with others in his research years was his very, very brief time at the truck stop diner, and the experience had soured his view of...well, other people for near decades.

Now, though, he’d burn his own research dozens of times over before he’d even consider eating alone.

Stan’s chair scraping across the floor as he stands pops Ford out of his bubble of serenity.

“Now that that’s taken care of,” Stan cracks his knuckles, smiling mischievously at Dipper and Mabel. “I think I remember a couple of kiddos finally promising their Grunkle Stan he could take them fishing”

“Promise is a strong word-” Dipper starts as he stands to place his plate in the sink, but Stan’s already placing a fishing hat on his head before he can finish his sentence.

“Course you did! You wanna take our baby for a joyride, you gotta earn it first”

Dipper turns to Ford, like he’s expecting him to back him up.

Ford chuckles. “I don’t know, Dipper. That sounds perfectly reasonable to me”.

Dipper scoffs, sitting back down at the table. Mabel laughs.

“Aww, C’mon, Dipper! Aren’t you all about the supernatural? For all we know, Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford could be harboring magical glowing bait that only attracts, like, magical talking fish men, or something!”

Dipper raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just receive a bottle message from Mermando last week?”

“Exactly!” Mabel flashes a grin. “That must mean that he’s in the area!”

Stan laughs. “You tellin’ me you only agreed to go fishing so you could kiss and make-up with your long-distance fish boyfriend?”

“Grunkle Stan, what kind of person do you take me for?” she gasps. “He’s married! You know I would never want to break apart such a loving couple!”

Ford’s smile only warms. Where else could he partake in such a conversation that doesn’t turn heads and result in judgmental whispers? Where else can he just be like this, surrounded by loved ones who are just as weird, just as out of the ordinary as himself? In his younger years he thought for sure his place would be among the monsters and cryptids everyone in his childhood made him out to be, but even in the weirdness capital of the country he felt more alone than ever.

“...Don’t think you’re immune, Sixer” Stan’s voice cuts into his thoughts, and before Ford can ask what he means Stan is smacking a homemade fishing cap on his head. “It may ruin your badass image when we’re monster hunting, or whatever, but we’re fishing with the kids.” Stan gestures to them with his thumb. They’re already outside, leaning over the railing to look out at the water in a perfect mirror of each other. “If they have to embarrass themselves by humoring me for a few hours, so do you”

Ford waits for Stan to join the kids outside before he takes his hat off to admire the stitch work. It’s not perfect, and nowhere near the fancy embroidery he and Stan have found in various markets across their world travels. But it’s personalized, and Ford knows it comes from a place in Stan’s mind that’s been stuck behind lock and key since he was seventeen.

Ford runs his hands along each individual letter, which reads POINDEXTER, before placing it back on his head to join the others outside.

Stan has, miraculously, already pulled out his joke book. Stan’s laughing too hard at his own joke for Ford to really make out what the punchline is, but the younger twins’ collective groans is all he needs to know about it. When Mabel notices him stepping out of the doorway, though, her expression shifts entirely.

“So…” she draws out, stepping towards him. “Is there a trick for attracting merpeople to your boat? I mean, asides from being super cute, obviously”

Ford chuckles, taking a glance behind her to make sure that Stan is out of earshot. “Stan’ll kill me if I tell you this, but they’re really attracted towards shiny things. If you tied one of his gold necklaces around a fishing pole and dangled it into the water, the boat’ll be surrounded in minutes”

Mabel offers up her pinkie finger. “I won’t tell him if you won’t”

Ford interlocks his pinkie with hers, smiling. “I think he’ll notice when a whole family of merpeople show up”

“Hmmm…” Mabel taps at her chin with her free hand, visibly mouthing a plan to herself. “Oh! I know! Come with me,” she beams, and before Ford can even open his mouth to respond she’s already dragging him back into the kitchen. She kneels down on the floor and opens the cupboard below the sink. “Got any empty bottles I can use?”

Ford blinks. “Empty....bottles”

“Yeah!” Mabel pulls a neatly folded piece of paper out of her skirt. “If I can send out my response letter the same time we throw Stan’s necklace over, he’ll never be able to tell the difference!”

“Wait, wait” Ford shakes his head. “You really are dating a merperson?”

“Listening skills, Grunkle Ford” she taps at her forehead, folding the letter back into her pocket as she continues to dig through the cupboards. “Used to date. We met at the Gravity Falls Public Pool, where he was stuck, but then I drove him to the lake in a golf cart I stole from the pool grounds because he really missed his family, and then he was my first kiss, and then we were in a long-distance relationship for like, two months, and I kept every single bottle he sent me, but then we had to break up because he was arranged to marry to prevent a big undersea war.” She picks up a bottle, shakes it, and puts it back when it’s too full for her liking. “I know it sounds, like, super complicated, but it’s all okay, because we’re still pen pals!”

Ford laughs, shaking his head. “No, Mabel, I had to ask because I, uh…” his cheeks warm, and he clears his throat. “Before I...came to term with my orientation, I...dated a merperson too”

The bottles in the cupboard rattle as Mabel’s head smacks against the doorframe. She’s rubbing the spot where her head hit, but there are stars in her eyes. “Really?”

Ford’s cheeks burn even hotter. “Yes,” he whispers, and takes a knee so he can get at her eye level. “Technically he was a siren, but yes, we dated for about a month. He promised me he wouldn’t entice anyone else while we were together, but I guess there wasn’t anything...there.” He turns to help her shuffle through the cupboard, and finds a near-empty bottle of olive oil that’s definitely been sitting down there for at least a year. He hands it off to Mabel, smiling. “I’m glad that things worked out with you, though”

To his surprise, Mabel drops the bottle and throws her arms around him in a hug. “I can’t wait to introduce you! He’s gonna love you”

Ford huffs a quiet laugh, and pulls her close as he winds his arms around her as well. The hug only lasts for a few brief moments, but it feels to Ford in those moments that time itself had stopped. Mabel stands, taking the bottle in one hand and offering to help Ford up in her other.

Mabel places the bottle in the sink and turns the water on to rinse it out before she turns back towards Ford, stretching her arms up in the air as if she were warming up for an exercise. “Alright, here’s the plan. You tell me where Grunkle Stan keeps all of his jewelry, and I’ll sneak in and take his necklace while you distract him. Got it?”

Ford smiles. “Got it”.

As Mabel splits away for Stan’s bedroom, Ford heads back out to the deck. Dipper’s leaning over the side of the boat pointing at something jumping out of the water, rambling excitedly to Stan beside him. He’s holding his fishing hat in his hand to stop it from blowing into the water, and his hair is bouncing in the breeze. It’s just enough for the edge of his birthmark to poke through his bangs, and even in broad daylight it seems to be emitting a faint glow.

“I found it!” Mabel cheers, bounding up from behind him. She’s wearing the chain around her neck, and for some reason the gold seems much dimmer in contrast to her sweater. She takes it off and hands it to him. “You wanna do the honors while I go and throw this overboard?”

Ford smiles, ruffling her hair. “Sure thing.” He walks over to where Stan and Dipper are chatting and picks up one of the extra fishing rods. Making sure that Stan’s too engrossed with his conversation to notice, Ford starts wrapping the chain along the line, and at the signal from Mabel, he tosses his line as far from the boat as he can manage.

Five minutes pass before Mabel squeals so loud that Ford’s afraid his glasses might shatter. He reaches for the gun he knows he’s got stashed in his pants pocket, but when he turns to run to her aid she’s leaning halfway over the boat wrapping her arms around a young merman in a tight hug.

“...so good to see you again!” She’s beaming. “I didn’t think you’d be able to find us so quickly!”

“Yes, well, you were easy to track down after we figured out the coordinates to the seaport” the young man says in a thick Spanish accent. “It is good to see you too! My family was so excited to meet you”

“Your family?” she gasps. “Did they all come with you?”

“Of course!” he grins. “We merpeople are very family oriented. Wherever we go, we go together”

Ford winces at the uncanny familiarity of the statement. Mabel must recognize the statement too, because she responds with “Oh, that reminds me! There’s someone I want you guys to meet! Wait right here,” she says, and comes bouncing back over to Ford. Taking his hand in her own, she starts to drag him back to where she’d just been leaning. “C’mon! He’s the one I was just talking about!”

Three more merpeople emerge from the water when she gently knocks on the side of the boat again. “Grunkle Ford, this is Mermando!” she grins, gesturing to the young merman she’d just been conversing with. “He’s the one I helped reunite with his family after they were separated by tragic circumstances.” She wraps her arms around Ford in a side-hug. “Mermando, this is my Grunkle Ford! He was also separated from his family by tragic circumstances, but I helped with that too!”

Mermando laughs. “Even when you think it’s the end, family always finds its way, doesn’t it?”

Ford laughs, shaking his hand. “It always seems that way to me”

“Awwww!” Mabel squeals. “I knew you’d get along!” She grins, and turns her attention back towards Mermando. “Before I forget, though, did you see where Grunkle Ford threw that gold necklace? If I don’t get it back my Grunkle Stan’s gonna kill me”

Mermando laughs again. “I was wondering if that belonged to any of you!” He takes off his shell necklace to reveal that he’d put Stan’s necklace on around his neck. He takes that off, too, and offers it to Ford. “I much prefer this one, anyway” he clicks his shell necklace open, revealing it to be a locket with a picture of his family inside.

Ford takes the gold necklace back, and he means to thank him, but a bell ringing from elsewhere in the port interrupts him before he can open his mouth. Mermando turns to Mabel, taking her hands in his own. “We must go. I’m so sorry we have to leave so soon, but we merpeople recognize the sounds of fishing boats very easily. We’ll try to come back later this week” He opens his arms for her once more, and Mabel wraps his arms around him in a quick hug before she watches him and his family swim away.

“I am so glad that all you were doing was hugging,” Dipper shudders as he and Stan approach Ford and Mabel. “I’m not sure my stomach could handle witnessing you two kissing a second time”

“Awww,” Mabel punches him playfully in the shoulder. “You’re just jealous that I had a boyfriend before you did!”

Dipper cringes. “If you having a boyfriend before I do means I didn’t have to be the one dating a fish, then I’m glad you were the one who got stuck with him first” He punches her back, and gestures at Stan over his shoulder with his thumb. “But anyways, I came over here because Grunkle Stan says he wants to get out on the open water before everyone else gets the idea, or something”.

Ford pockets Stan’s necklace and makes a mental note to put it away sometime later tonight when Stan is too distracted to notice. “Tell Stan I’m going to untie the rope from the edge of the dock, and when he sees me back on board we’re all set to go.”

Nodding, Dipper bounds off towards the navigation room where Stan must be waiting, and Ford steps off of the boat to take care of everything else. On the way to the bow, he traces a hand along the white painted STAN O’ WAR II, and a feeling of warmth sprouts in his chest. Once back on board, he waves to Stan as he passes besides the navigation room once more, and takes a seat on one of the beach chairs they liked to keep aboard.

Most days, Ford prefers to be the one at the wheel. But every once in a while he just wants to be. All he wants to do is lean back in one of their beach chairs and let the sun warm his face. It’s a good kind of warm, the same way spending time with the kids and heavy rain hitting his bedroom window and planning new escapades with Stan feel warm. After so, so long of only knowing unbearable burns, it feels indescribable to have a constant back in his life that heals, rather than hurts.

“Mind if we join you?” Dipper asks, and Ford glances over to see both of the young twins dragging a chair behind them.

Speaking of healing constants.

“Sure,” Ford says, and can’t help the warmth spilling through his tone. They pull their chairs up on either side of him, and curl up to enjoy the warm breeze. Dipper places his hat on his lap to let the wind blow through his hair, and Mabel stretches her arms out behind her head to act as her own pillow. Ford chuckles silently at the pair, and closes his eyes to let himself relax.

All is quiet when Stan finally finds them a spot out on the open water without a single other boat in sight. The water is nearly still, save for the occasional small wave that gently sways the boat. The sun is at its afternoon high, turning the water beautiful shades of teal and aqua. Fishing is tedious, but it’s careful work, and gives Ford something to put all of his focus into. Two whole hours pass before any of them catch a thing, and Stan laughs himself to tears when it’s Dipper who pulls up a single sardine.

Typically Ford prefers much more immersive activities, but right now there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. The sun is starting to set before they realize they aren’t going to have much luck catching anything, and instead decide to take the boat for another ride around the harbor to look for a better place to eventually watch the stars.

“...Great Uncle Ford?” Dipper approaches him shyly once they’ve anchored the boat.

“Yes?”

He tugs shyly at the edge of his sweater. “I…” he starts. “I know you’ve told me that the multiverse was dangerous, and all, but...was there ever anything you enjoyed about it?” He pauses. “What were the sunsets like?”

Ford chuckles, patting at the seat beside him, and Dipper’s eyes light up as he sits down.

“You’re right,” Ford starts, folding his hands together. “I wouldn’t wish what I went through on even my worst enemies, Dipper. It was practically impossible to get any decent amount of sleep and even harder to find food digestible by human kind. I lost some of my best years to the multiverse when I could’ve gone on to become the most renowned scientist in the world.” Ford turns his gaze away from the sun setting on the horizon to meet Dipper’s eyes, but he’s frowning, eyes cast downwards towards the deck of the ship.

“But,” Ford adds before the poor kid can get too lost in his own head, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It definitely had its perks.” He smiles. “The sun in Dimension 18.2 would emit a sound that mimicked a lullaby every night as it set. Dimension 47’23 had three moons that would shift phases before your very eyes. I haven’t told Mabel because I’m afraid she’ll try activating a portal of her own and run away, but in Dimension 25-12, everyone and everything looks like a watercolor painting. There’s danger in the multiverse, but there’s beauty in equal measure”

“Do you ever miss it?” Dipper fiddles with his hands, like he’s trying real hard not to say the wrong thing. “I mean, I know you don’t miss being lost, or having no idea if you’re ever going to see home again, but...is there any dimension...where you could’ve seen yourself staying, if you thought you couldn’t make it back?”

Ford shifts in his chair so he doesn’t have to twist his neck so much to look directly at his nephew. “Occasionally,” he muses. “I met the most friendly faces in Dimension 52, so my mind does tend to wander there from time to time” he smiles. “But rest assured, there is something in this dimension that makes it my favorite”

“Oh yeah?” Dipper’s eyes light up. “Over every other dimension you’ve passed through? What is it?”

Ford gently nudges Dipper’s shoulder. “You and your sister”

Dipper’s cheeks turn bright red, and he looks as though he’s struggling not to bury his face into the collar of his sweater and disappear. “Really?” his voice squeaks.

Ford nods. “Everything I had in those other dimensions were fleeting, Dipper. At a moment’s notice everything I grew to love could disappear in the blink of an eye. The very thing happened to me in Dimension 52. When I fell asleep, I woke up in a new dimension I didn’t recognize. Things may have been more advanced, and there may have been dimensions crafted to give you your greatest desires, but in the end nothing ever lasted.”

Now it’s Ford’s turn to divert Dipper’s eyes, gaze casting towards the floor. “Stan was cut from my life completely in the dimension that claimed to be a perfect world. I had nobody. Even in dimensions that actively worked towards my happiness, I was all alone” Ford shakes his head, and turns his gaze once more out on the horizon. The sun is still touching the horizon, but it’s dipped just low enough that some of the stars are beginning to show in the sky.

“But...here, at home, everything is consistent. I don’t have to worry about waking up in the morning to find that everyone I love is gone. I can keep everyone in arm’s lengths, even when Stan and I can only communicate with you and your sister over a video call. I’m…” Ford gently squeezes his hands to reassure himself that this is real and now. “...happy. Happier than I’ve been in decades”

Beside him, Dipper yawns, and when Ford spares a glance over at him he’s smiling at him sleepily. “We’re really happy you’re here too, Grunkle Ford” he murmurs, and his eyes slip closed. Ford’s cheeks flush pink, and he has to choke back a laugh because that’s one of the first times Dipper’s felt comfortable enough to call him Grunkle.

Ford stands, so as not to wake Dipper from his nap. A small glance to his right and he catches a glimpse of Stan and Mabel leaning against the side of the boat watching the sunset just outside of earshot of his current conversation with Dipper.

“You finally bore him to sleep with all your nerdy science talk?” Stan asks as he approaches, sparing a glance behind him at Dipper. “Was starting to think that the poor kid would never get a nap in”

“Yes, well,” Ford smirks. “I’m sure it helped plenty that you bored him to death by taking him fishing first”

Stan gasps in mock offense, and slugs him in the shoulder. “Hey, at least I’m engaging them in something they can actually interact with, unlike your kooky alien stories, or whatever”

Ford can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “Bold statement coming from the man who dedicated thirty years of his life rescuing me from said kooky aliens” he says, returning with a punch of his own. Stan opens his mouth to argue back, realizes he has nothing to say, and closes his mouth. The sight of it makes Ford laugh even harder, keeling over and slapping a hand on Stan’s shoulder to support himself. It must be contagious, because it’s not long before Stan is laughing too.

Ford removes his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes, and cleans off the lenses with the edge of his sweater. Once his eyes adjust after he puts them back on, his throat nearly catches in his throat when he glances back out towards the water. He’s just able to catch a shooting star before it disappears over the horizon, and the boat’s just far out enough on the water that there isn’t an ounce of light pollution obscuring the rest of the stars in the sky. He takes a few steps back so he can look up and admire more of them at once, and if he looks close enough he can see them twinkling.

Before he can ask the others if they’re seeing the same thing, a bright flash of light coming from somewhere on the boat cuts into his thoughts. He turns, to make sure that none of the lights in any of the rooms are on, but no, they’d turned those off when they’d started fishing. Scratching at his head, he turns to Stan and Mabel to ask if they have any idea where the light is coming from, but that question catches in its throat as quickly as it formulated.

They’re the ones emitting light.

Or, rather, Mabel’s sweater and Stan’s shoulder, approximately where his burn scar should be. Those are emitting light.

...Surely it must just be the reflection of the starlight on the water, right? That same bright light must have woken Dipper from his nap, yes?

He turns heel to ask Dipper the same question, but freezes in his tracks before he can take a single step forward. Dipper’s forehead is glowing too, the same way it has since he and Stan docked the boat this morning.

It...It can’t be, can it?

Gripping his forehead, Ford takes a number of steps backwards until his back hits the wall. Maybe...maybe he just needs to call it a night. He’s been awake since sunrise, maybe his vision is just blurring because he needs to lie down?

He waves his hands in front of his face, but no, those don’t look any different. He squints, to make sure his hands aren’t shaking, but no, they’re perfectly still.

He squints at Stan and Mabel, just to try and see if his eyes are watering, and-

He gasps.

Mabel’s sweater, Dipper’s forehead, Stan’s shoulder; they’re not glowing; they’re twinkling like the stars. It was hard to tell in broad daylight, but now that they’re surrounded by a thousand shining stars, the resemblance is unmistakable.

But...that’s not possible. If he can see them twinkling, but none of them have said anything about it, that could only be if those were…

...soulmarks.

Ford suddenly feels like he’s going to pass out.

He slides to the floor.

Is...Is that even possible? Ford thought for sure that study he read years ago was nothing but a joke. Someone...who does everything in their power to bring you two together, no matter the cost? Someone who, even though you may not meet for decades, will feel as though you’ve known each other their entire lives? Someone who will do anything for you, no matter the personal expense?

Someone...someone like Stan, who spent a painstaking thirty years teaching himself quantum physics to rescue someone that anyone else would assume dead? The man who sacrificed his very mind, his very life, so he could be spared physical torture?

Or...someone like Mabel, the first friendly face he saw after emerging from the portal? The one who forgave him so easily after he tried to separate her from her brother? The one who insists on calling him a good person, despite all of those he knows he hurt?

Or...Dipper? His kindred spirit in all things supernatural? The one who, alongside his sister, sacrificed himself as bait for the most dangerous being in the entire multiverse? Who saw memories of him at his very worst, and apologized to him for snooping?

After everything he’s been through...could things really work out that well in his favor? To not have one soulmate but three, and the guarantee that they’ll never leave, because they’ve already expressed how they love him so?

There’s a tear streaming down his cheek at the thought, but he’s too distracted by a fourth light suddenly emitting from...himself to really notice.

He spares a cautious glance downward, and notices a pulsing light emerging from his chest in perfect time with his heartbeat. If he looks closely, he notices that the light travels down his arms and ties itself into a translucent bow around his fingers. If he looks closer still, the light looks as though it’s slinking faintly across the deck of the boat and reaching towards the gentle twinkling of Stan and Mabel’s marks.

Ford places a hand to his forehead, throws his head back, and laughs his throat dry, paying no mind to the tears pouring down his face.

#gravity falls #my writing #syd #cool kid squad 2.0 #ILYSM FRIEND

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years ago

Text

GF - Jolly Sailor Bold

(Spoiler alert: I lied about the “jolly” part.)

Word count: 1431

~~~~~~~~~~

Stan walked into the town that was much bigger than it was when he first came forty-five years ago. It wasn’t that far of a walk and Sixer had always encouraged exercise, though most people would be opposed to a seventy-two-year-old man walking in woods filled with gnomes, tree-giants, Mantours, and Hawktopuses that could attack. But not every old man could still kick butt like Stan could, so he emerged from the trees sharing his name and joined the sidewalk.

First thing he noticed was a small pine tree outside of town, a bit wilted and weak, a sad excuse for a twig with pointy green leaves. Stan caught sight of an abandoned cup of water, smiled cunningly, and tipped the water over with the end of his eight-ball cane; he didn’t really depend on aid for walking, but it was good to have just in case. Before Stan could think to pick up the litter, a gnome scurried over, pick it up, hissed, and ran back into the woods. The old sailor shrugged, his long gray hair shifting at the movement, and he continued on his tiny journey.

At the grocery store, Stan used a small cart for his trip, tucking his cane in it, and wandering for what he needed. He can remember the first time he met Gideon, in this very store, a spoiled baby screaming and kicking for candy he had dropped, but Stan had picked it up and eaten it right in front of the twerp, being the first person in Gideon’s life to tell him “no”. Today was entirely different.

Stan first noticed an old couple his age, bitter and annoyed. The husband had mumbled, “Back in my day, y’all got a good beatin’ for actin’ like that.” Stan then heard the distant crying, and coincidentally, as he walked in his desired direction, he unintentionally came across the crying child.

With his recent years with toddlers and young kids, Stan had learned the difference between an angry scream from a grumpy toddler and a woeful cry from a sad young heart; this was the latter. A young mom with frazzled hair, who looked far too stretched, was rubbing the back of a three-year-old boy, who held a stuffed soldier that somewhat resembled him. Stan sighed, understanding, as he remembered the war going on in China, and reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat.

The tiny boy hiccuped in surprise by the music. His mother turned and saw an old man approach, playing a harmonica with warm brown eyes. She smiled as her son’s crying slowly went away, until all he could do was sniffle with a runny nose.

Stan made his old knees bend so he could be eye-level with the tyke, playing the old lullaby his Ma used to sing forever ago, and he stretched the last note to make the good times stick around. There was a moment of silence, but then the three-year-old grinned, clapped, and caught sight of some long hair over Stan’s shoulder and grabbed the tugged. Stan yelped comedically, making the boy laugh, and his mother squeezed Stan’s shoulder and thanked him before they parted ways.

In order to get home, Stan had to pass a park they had built ten years ago or so, while he was out sailing. It was nice, with a play area and a big field for soccer and football, and it was surrounded by shops and businesses to make it convenient. When Stan was going to the grocery store, the park had been empty, but now a small band of boys were playing soccer, so he paused to watch them for a second. As these games usually go, the ball was getting closer and closer to a goal, and one kid, whose friends were cheering him on excitedly, gave a powerful kick for the point. Unfortunately it was too powerful and too crooked, and it missed the goal entirely and smashed a window of the shop Stan stood nearby.

“HEY!”

Stan laughed and shook his head as the boys were still with fear. “Y’know, a responsible adult would tell ya to own up to whatcha did.”

The door of the tattoo shop flew open with a bang and a huge buff man with skulls all over his body roared, “WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU BRATS, THE WINDOW WON’T BE THE ONLY THING THAT’S BROKEN!”

“But not me.” Stan added. “SCATTER!”

They all ran in different directions, Stan going down the sidewalk, closer to the edge of town; all those years of being chased by cops or freaking stuff really paid off sometimes. The old man stopped at a park bench in an alley to rest, huffing and puffing and setting his grocery bag down next to him. He had his eyes closed for a second when he heard a painfully familiar phrase.

“Gimme all your money.”

Stan opened his eyes calmly and looked to his left, deeper into the alley, and saw a skinny guy in all black pointing a gun at him. He should be scared, or at least anxious, but one look at the guy’s awful stance destroyed any fear Stan should have felt. He smiled, stood slowly, and asked like he was talking to an old friend. “What in Moses’ name are ya doin’?”

“Mugging you, duh.” The guy snapped.

“With that stance, kid?” He asked, scratching his red beanie-covered head.

“Wh- Just gimme your money, old man!”

“Bad roots make a bad tree, pal.” Quicker than the young man could register, Stan swooped down and used his eight-ball cane to sweep the robber off his feet and stole his gun, leaving the criminal in the mud to watch the ex-criminal drop the bullets with a twirl of the gun.

To the robber’s surprise, Stan held out a hand to him. He took it shamefully, and was even more surprised when Stan was helping him reposition himself. “With a solid stance, you’re a much better threat… wait, move your… there we go! Much better!” Stan held his square, wrinkly chin, and added, “Uh, no offense, but ya don’t look like the criminal type to me.”

“I… you… I…” The young man slumped and closed his eyes, ready to bolt for it, but Stan popped open a can of Pitt and held it out to him.

A few minutes go by and the two are sitting on the bench, sipping the drinks from Stan’s grocery bag, talking about life and women and goals. Stan did a lot of listening and used his experience to lend some much needed advice, sounding like an average joe and therefore easier to relate to and listen to.

“Hey… thanks.” The young man said when he stood up after an hour of talking.

Stan shrugged. “Some wise old man once said that it’s okay to accept help here and there, cuz it’s not often offered, but we need to fix that.”

The now ex-criminal raised an eyebrow with a smile. “Are you that wise old man?”

Stan gave him a sly look. “That’s a secret, kid.”

Eventually Stan did make it back to the Stan O’ War II, docked at the Gravity Falls lake, giving him a homey place with space but also easy company. Soos, Melody, and Jacob were only a twenty minute walk away and always checked on him. He stepped onto his boat with ease, a bit disturbed at how quiet it was here, but he’d fixed that soon.

Stan turned on the lights and sat his bag on the kitchen table. He pulled out a small half-chocolate, half-strawberry cake, opened it, pulled out two candles, got the lighter from his pocket, and lit the twin candles. He then looked at the wall that faced him, his eyes meeting another pair of eyes that matched his own. Stan made his aching body move to take the framed photograph off the wall and set it on the table, next to the cake.

“Happy Birthday, Sixer.” He croaked when he sat back down, his vision becoming blurry. “Why couldn't I’ve helped ya one last time…”

Stan squeezed his eyes shut in a sad attempt to make the tears go away, but it didn’t work. He pulled out his harmonica again and began to play the old lullaby, wondering if his brother could hear or care or even remember the words their Ma used to sing to them.

“Waves coming, The tide is high, As well as the sparkling moon, Matching the stars.

Little sailor bold, Oh, come with me, Brave sailor bold. Come sailing home.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Jacob belongs to @stephreynaart.

#gravity falls #fanfiction #grunkle stan #angst #nothing but angst #stangst #atla #alta reference

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scenesandscraps · 5 years ago

Text

Skinny Dippering

Dipper sighed happily as he sank into the spring’s steaming water. This was the life. A few quiet minutes to himself, letting the heat melt away his cares, alone and surrounded by nature. Even an active mind like his needed some silence now and then.

A silence that was interrupted by a voice behind him: “Dipper? Is that you?”

“Wha!” Dipper tried to both jump up and turn around at the same time, resulting in him bumping his knee on the side of the spring. He clenched his teeth and hissed, only reflecting later that he had barely avoided exposing himself. “Steven? What’re you doing out here?”

“Just walking around, really, and then I thought I heard splashing. Is that a hot spring?”

“Um, yeah. We found it last year. There was a rusalka in it, but we got her to leave and now it’s just a hot spring” “What’s a rusalka?” “Like, a drowned lady spirit. She wasn’t so bad, really, but she froze the spring over and it was kind of messing up the ecosystem. I think she went to Japan or something.” He expected some disbelief, or at least some follow-up questions, but Steven just nodded.

“Cool. I’d ask to join you but I don’t have my trunks.”

“Uh... neither do I,” the words were out of Dipper’s mouth before he could stop them.

“Oh!” Steven looked away, despite not having been able to see below Dipper’s shoulders anyway. “Gosh, I’m really sorry for bothering you.”

“No, it’s okay. We’re, ah, both guys here, right?”

Steven didn’t really understand that one, but he shrugged it off. “So it’s cool if I come in?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Dipper said, hoping Steven would assume his flush was from the heat. He’d sauna’d with Manotaurs; he’d been to gym class.This wasn’t so different, really. Steven didn’t make a point of going completely out of Dipper’s field of view before undressing, at despite at first politely looking away, Dipper’s curiosity overcame him. He felt a pang of jealousy: Steven’s stocky frame clearly had muscle beneath the fat, and a coating of hair across his chest. In the years since he’d first been to Gravity Falls Dipper had grown taller, but no broader; he’d been called “Pine Needle” at school more than once.

No thoughts of this kind occurred to Steven, who sighed contentedly as he sank into the water. “Ahh. That’s really nice.” Suddenly he opened his eyes. “Uh, don’t worry if I start sweating pink. It’s not bad for humans.” “That’s… good to know?” Dipper blinked.

They sat together in the hot water for a while. Was it Dipper’s imagination, or was there a faint pink tinge to the water now?

“Hey, Dipper, mind if I ask you a question?” Naked questions. Fantastic. “Uh, okay?” “What’s school like for you?” “What?” “I never went to school. So I’m trying to ask a lot of people what it was like for them, and maybe I can put together what it might have been like for me.”

Huh. Not really a strange question, when he put it that way. “I… don’t like it much.” “How come?” “It’s /boring/. Even when we look at science or stuff I’m interested in, it’s always so… basic. Normal.”

Steven nodded, thinking to himself that normal wasn’t really so bad but not wanting to interrupt. “And the other kids suck.” “You don’t have any friends?” Dipper shrugged. “I mean, a couple. But there’s always these jerks who want to like, call you names or make fun of you or steal your stuff.” “Why do they do that?” “Who knows! Maybe if I knew I could get them to cut it out.” “Well, for what it’s worth, some of my best friends started out trying to kill me. So sometimes things turn around.”

Dipper chewed on that a moment, then said: ”You know, sometimes you say really messed-up stuff like it’s totally normal.”

“I do? What’d I say?” Steven’s tone was one of genuine surprise.

“People trying to kill you and friends aren’t normally part of the same sentence.”

Steven shrugged. “Well, that’s sort of one reason I’m in Gravity Falls. I can’t say I miss that part of my life.” He stretched out and sank below his shoulders. “I’ve actually been meaning to ask you about that.” “About what?” Dipper took a deep breath. “So, don’t take this the wrong way, you’re cool and all, but… Why /are/ you really here? In Gravity Falls, I mean.”

“What?”

“I just don’t get what this place has for you.”

Steven looked up at the sky, thoughtful. “I told you the truth before. I really did come out here to do something new. It was just sort of lucky that I met Stan while I was driving through, and I decided this would be a good place to give working a try. A place where my mistakes can’t really follow me. I mean, if I flub up my Mystery Shack job, it’s not like Stan can blacklist me.”

“You didn’t have something like this closer to home?”

Steven shrugged. “Sure, probably. But I also needed to get away from my family for a while.”

“Oh,” said Dipper, not sure of how much he could press that particular topic. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not like they’re terrible people; we love each other very much. But the Gems aren’t exactly good at… human. And my dad…” Steven sighed. “He means well, but he made some mistakes bringing me up. So I needed to get away from them a while and sort stuff out.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Did you think I had some kind of evil plot to ‘raid the secret lab under the Mystery Shack’ or something?” Steven asked with a playful smile.

Dipper’s face went serious. “How did you know about the secret lab under the Mystery Shack?!”

“There’s a secret lab under the Mystery Shack?!” Steven sat bolt-upright, sending a ripple of pink-tinged water at Dipper.

“Wait, you were /joking/?” “Are YOU joking?!” “Um… yeah, hahah, I’m…” aw, crap. Steven wasn’t buying it. And he had that same look in his eyes as Mabel, that same call to adventure. Dipper couldn’t just turn that down. “Look, you can’t tell my Grunkles I told you about it, okay?” “Secret club, deal,” Steven said, with starry eyes. Oh gosh, where to start? How much to tell him?

“Listen, it’s a long story. Is it okay if I start it later? I’m kind of pruning up over here.” “Okay, but you promised.” Steven made a “watching you” gesture with one hand.

As they dressed, Dipper checked his knee where he’d banged it but couldn’t find a scratch. Huh. It had stung pretty bad; he was sure there’d be a scrape. Lucky him, he figured.

#steven universe #gravity falls #summer job au #dipper pines #hot springs interlude

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orangeoctopi7 · 4 years ago

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A Negligible Price

I guess it’s becoming a tradition for me to add another chapter to A Minor Inconvenience every year for @stanuary . I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen. It’s just that the prompt “Sacrifice” got me thinking about this story and where I thought it could go, and then I got writing and I started coming up with ideas for how I could actually put a finish to this story. So yeah, hopefully it won’t be another year before I post chapter 4, but not promises!

Also, first time I’ve had to do this, but:

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE/MARTYR COMPLEX AND SUIDICE ADJACENT THEMES.

* * *

Bill rushes to gather himself together again. Now that Sixer and his idiot brother have caught on, he knows they’ll probably be making a move against him soon. The time for lying in wait and keeping a low profile has passed. He’s been getting faster, better at finding the tiny flecks of gold scattered into the dark abyss below.

Unfortunately that also means that he’s noticed that some missing pieces just never turn up. As an interdimensional being who’s existed in countless dimensions across innumerable timelines, Bill likes to think he knows himself pretty well now. What he’s made of, how much power he’s accumulated, what he’s capable of. And if he had to estimate now, which he does, he’d say he’s been reduced to maybe a third of his power. Roughly two thirds of him are missing.

What happened to those missing pieces? Were they simply deleted by that memory eraser? Did he leave some of himself behind in that physical form he left to enter Stan’s mind in the Fearamid? Bill can only guess, but really, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. What matters is getting out of this moron’s brain and starting again on his path to a universe free of rules.

* * *

Stan recovered from his latest memory lapse quickly, despite the fact that it was the worst one he’d experienced since he sacrificed himself to the memory gun last summer. The experience had clearly put Ford on edge, and as much as he tried to bottle up his emotions and remain calm, Stan could practically feel the panic coming off him in waves.

They were both relieved when they reached Spitsbergen. There was a hospital in Longyearbyen, where Ford insisted they stop to give Stan a check-up. Stan felt fine, but if it helped ease Ford’s nerves, then he could sit through a check-up.

Explaining Stan’s condition to the doctor was a struggle, considering English was not his strongest language. They definitely got across that Stan was experiencing memory problems, but the doctor seemed to be under the impression it had been caused by an injury to the head in an accident, rather than a purposeful exposure to a memory-erasing device.

Eventually, Ford had lost his patience and just asked if they could use the CT or MRI machine themselves. The doctor spoke enough English to tell them that the nearest CT or MRI machine was in either Iceland or Russia.

The elder Pines twins left the hospital in low spirits. Ford kicked at little pebbles as they walked down the street.

“There’s a research facility in Ny-Ålesund. Perhaps we could sail up there and commandeer some equipment to rig up our own CT scan…”

“I think it’d be easier to just hop on a plane back to the States at this point.” Stan suggested.

“If we’re going to hop on a plane somewhere, it’ll be to Reykjavik, where we won’t have to pay an arm and a leg for any treatments.”

“Yeah, we’ll just have to wait half a year.” Stan rolled his eyes. “I don’t think they’re gonna take ‘revived demon in my head’ as an urgent need.”

“Probably not…” Ford admitted.

“And you’re sure you didn’t figure anything else out the last time you were pokin’ around in my head?”

Ford grit his teeth. The truth was, he was afraid what would happen if he tried to revisit that memory. The cold flames of the memory eraser had felt so real, even just revisiting it in Stan’s mind, and they seemed to be the trigger of his latest memory lapse. Would they have a similar effect within Ford’s own memory?

“Nothing I’ve been able to make sense of.”

Stan grit his teeth. “So what now? Just leave that jerk in my head?”

Ford sighed. “I want to do some more research into what we’ve learned so far. Perhaps a trip to the library will help me find some insight. But truthfully… I may have been too hasty with punching out Bill, when I encountered him. He’s a liar who can’t be trusted, but he’s also a braggart. If I’d just let him run his mouth a little longer, we may have learned something about what he’s up to.”

* * *

Longyearbyen’s library wasn’t any bigger than the public library in Gravity Falls, and had significantly fewer books relating to Bill and mind magic, but it did at least have access to several library databases that Ford couldn’t typically log into from the Stan’O’War II. (According to Fiddleford, these databases could be hacked into quite easily, but Ford didn’t have the time or the wherewithal to learn how) It would have to do for now. Ford took a seat at a computer, and with a little help from a librarian, he was soon scrolling through peer-reviewed articles from different archeologists and anthropologists and folklore experts and descendants of the Aztecs and Mayans debating who Xolotl was, what his role was in the Aztec religion, how much his lore changed from Pre- and Post- Colombian invasion, and so forth.

What he’d learned so far was interesting, to say the least. The things that most people agreed upon was that Xolotl was a god of death, fire, and lightning. What caught Ford’s attention was the fact that they were also the god of twins and deformities. He glanced down at his twelve fingers, which rested awkwardly on the small keyboard meant for people with just ten. It seemed odd that Bill would call on this particular death god, when they seemed far more likely to be a patron to Stan and Ford.

While Ford puzzled over this new information, Stan browsed the library, looking for something to entertain himself while he waited. Unsurprisingly, there weren’t a whole lot of English books in this Norwegian library. Luckily, it wasn’t long before he stumbled upon an extensive comics section. Even though he still couldn’t read most of them, the pictures were at least enough that he got the gist of what was going on.

European comics were very different from American comics. They featured a lot less costumed superheroes punching bad guys and a lot more weird, quirky characters setting out on adventures and exploring the world. They also seemed to lean more heavily on comedy rather than drama. Stan decided he liked them.

He’d been looking at a story about some rich duck when he noticed he felt odd. He didn’t know how else to explain it other than to say that his brain felt itchy. The more he concentrated on it, the more it faded away, but when he went back to looking at the comic and got absorbed back into the story, it came back.

After almost an hour of the feeling coming and going, Stan decided he was not imagining the sensation. He stuffed a tissue into the comic as a bookmark and got up to see what Ford would have to say about it. Almost as soon as he laid eyes on his brother, a wave of anger washed over him. Just like the itchy brain feeling, it went away almost as soon as he stopped and thought about it, but it had been so strong, that he couldn’t deny it had happened.

“Hey.” Stan tapped his brother on the shoulder as the old researcher skimmed an article about why the Aztecs associated lightning with twins.

“Hmm?” Ford acknowledged him without looking away from the screen.

“Am I forgettin’ to be mad at you about somethin’?”

That got Ford to turn and look at him. “Are you having a memory lapse!?”

“I don’t think so, but just a second ago I looked over at you and I felt really mad all of a sudden. Can’t really think of a reason why, though. I’m just wondering if maybe the other day, when I had the big blank-out, maybe we missed somethin’?”

The old researcher’s face contorted with guilt. “You have ample reason to be mad at me. I didn’t stand up for you when dad kicked you out. I never reached out to you for over ten years. I expected you to drop everything and help me with my problems without any explanation. I refused to thank you for saving my life--”

“Yeah, no, none of that stuff.” Stan shook his head. “I remember all that stuff, and I’ve already forgiven you and junk. Mmmm… did you try to enchant the mop again and not let me remember it?” But even as he joked that the underlying reason must be the latest chapter in a minor argument, he knew that couldn’t be right. The sudden bloom of anger had been much more deep-seated and horrible than that. It had felt like… it had felt like Ford had ruined everything.

To be fair, there had been a long period of Stan’s life when he had felt like Ford had ruined everything. But Stan was over that now, and this brief brush with anger had felt even more heated than that.

Ford gave him an appraising look. “Were there any other memories or emotions associated with this feeling?”

“Oh yeah, my brain was feelin’ itchy right before that.”

“Have… you been using shampoo?” Ford asked, unsure of what to do with this information.

“Not my scalp, genius, like the actual thinking part of my brain!”

“... I can’t even begin to guess what that means.”

“Ugh, I don’t know how else to describe it, ok? It’s like somethin’ was squirmin’ around in my mind!”

The brothers wore twin expressions of realization as the words left Stan’s mouth.

“We need to get back to the boat.” Ford stood from the computer desk abruptly.

“Yep.” Stan set the comic he’d been reading down on the desk, not even bothering to remove his improvised bookmark.

* * *

Bill throws his hands up and roars in frustration. He can’t seem to take control, even when the moron’s mind is zoning out, losing himself in some stupid comic book. He’s already in the mind! He’s been here for months! He knows his way around here. So why isn’t it working? Is it because he never made a deal with this guy? That shouldn’t matter! The last thing they did before the whole memory gun thing was shake hands!

There's no time to waste complaining, though. Sixer will be poking around here any minute. Bill needs a plan. Before, he'd spent millions of years in the Nightmare Realm planning. Now he's making everything up as he goes.

It's clear that Bill can't just take control of Stan like he'd been counting on. But do the other two know that? He might still be able to use that to his advantage.

If Bill is going to trick these losers and get out of here, he needs to play his opponents right. Luckily, he's got years of experience fighting against Sixer. It's the Big Mackerel that he worries about.

Before, Bill hadn't paid much attention to Stan. He thought he understood what made the simple con man tick. But then, in the end, he found he didn't understand at all. Even after months of being trapped in his mindscape, Stan is very much still a mystery to Bill.

But there is one thing about Stan that Bill does understand.

He’s willing to sacrifice himself for his family.

* * *

Once they were back aboard the Stan’O’War II, Stan allowed himself to relax, just a little. At least here his surroundings were familiar, and the only person he had to worry about was his own brother.

Under normal circumstances, “the only person he had to worry about” meant he didn’t have to look over his shoulder for law enforcement or old criminals who might recognize Stan from his drifter days.

Today “the only person he had to worry about” meant the only person he could possibly endanger if Bill was able to take control of him. Ford was the last person Stan wanted to put in danger, but he also had to admit, his brother knew more about the demon than any other living being on the planet.

Stan may have been able to relax a tiny fraction once they were back aboard their boat, but not Ford. Ford was in full-blown panic mode.

He frantically searched around the storage room for something, anything, that could help protect his brother from Bill. Unfortunately, they hadn’t thought to bring unicorn hair or moonstones on their voyage. He did have titanium, but he wasn’t confident enough in his emergency medical knowledge to perform cranial surgery on his own, and he doubted they’d be able to find a doctor crooked enough to do it for them. Currently, his best idea was to build an updated version of Project Mentem, but that would take time. Time he wasn’t sure Stan had.

“I can re-enter your mindscape and shatter him again.” Ford decided, pulling out the candles again. “That should at least buy you a few days.”

“Ok.” Stan nodded. He’d definitely prefer to know Bill was shattered again, and not moving around in his brain. “But it’s not like he’s doing anything right now.”

“He’s probably trying to get us to lower our guard.” Ford assumed. “I’ll need to tie you up. He usually makes his move while his victim is asleep.”

“If I need to fall asleep for your spell while tied up, we’re gonna be waitin’ a long time.” Stan warned. “I dunno if I could even fall asleep right now if I had the world’s most comfortable bed.”

“Fair point.” Ford nodded. “I may have to drug you.”

“You gotta be kidding me!” It was abundantly clear that Ford was not kidding in the slightest.

“Would you rather be used as his puppet!?” The old researcher shouted. The outburst rang in the air for a few seconds while Ford tried to steady his breathing. “Stan I… I’m sorry, I just--”

“It’s ok.” Stan pulled him into a hug and tried his best to calm his brother down. “I know you’re just scared.”

“I’m not scared for myself.” Ford explained in a small voice. “I’m scared for you. Waking up to find that you’ve hurt someone, it’s-- I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all you--”

“Stanford, look at me. We’re not gonna let that happen. What if we do it while I’m awake, like we did with the memory before?”

Ford nodded meekly. “That… that could work.”

“You can still tie me up if that makes you feel better.”

The old researcher bit his lip. “...It shouldn't be necessary...”

“Ford.”

“...But it probably would ease some of my fears, yes.” he admitted.

“That’s what I thought. I’ll go get the rope.”

Still unwilling to let his brother out of his sight, Ford followed Stan up to the deck while he retrieved said rope. Once they were back below deck, he wrapped Stan tightly in a large blanket before sitting him down on a chair and tying him up, to ensure he was as comfortable as possible while still restricting his movement.

“How do you feel?” Ford asked as he lit the candles.

“Like I’m about to be shipped back to Oregon in the mail.”

“And Bill…?”

“I haven’t felt anything else from him since we left the library.”

The lack of activity should have reassured Ford, but instead it just added to his general unease. At least he was able to compose himself enough to perform the incantation.

Just as last time, after a flash of light, he found himself on the deck of Stan’s mindscape, with Stan himself standing beside him. This time, though, Bill was floating there, waiting for them.

“I KNEW YOU’D BE BACK HERE AFTER I GOT YOUR ATTENTION IN THE LIBRARY!” The demon taunted. “OH, AND LOOK. STANO HERE EVEN MADE A MENTAL CONSTRUCT OF HIMSELF WITHIN HIS OWN MIND JUST SO YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO FACE ME ALONE! HOW CUTE!” He prodded Stan in the stomach like he was the Pillsbury Doughboy.

“Back off, bucko!” Stan threatened. “We’re here to break your whole face!”

“WHAT, YOU COULDN’T WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT TO DO IT IN YOUR DREAMS LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?” Bill asked, voice dripping with false innocence.

“We’re not able to risk the chance of you parading about in Stanley’s body.” Ford growled.

“HA! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE, FORDSY, I ONLY DO THAT TO STUBBORN KNOW-IT-ALLS WHO WON’T WORK WITH ME WILLINGLY.”

“If you think I’m gonna work with you willingly, then you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought.” Stan grunted.

“HEAR ME OUT, MAC! WE BOTH WANT THE SAME THING HERE! ME, OUT OF YOUR SAD PATHETIC MIND!”

“You can’t leave!?” Ford asked in surprise.

“WHAT, YOU THINK I ENJOY SPENDING TIME IN THIS BOZO’S MIND? YOU THINK I WAS PLOTTING MY REVENGE?”

“Honestly, yes.”

Bill gave a long, mocking laugh. “AHAHAHAHAHA! YOU REALLY THINK I CARE ABOUT A COUPLE OF INSIGNIFICANT FLESH SACKS LIKE YOU?”

“We’re the insignificant flesh sacks who killed you!” Stan reminded him.

“WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. THE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING WELL.”

The brothers exchanged a suspicious glance. They highly doubted Bill actually believed that adage.

“BUT I CAN’T EXACTLY LIVE WELL TRAPPED IN YOUR MINDSCAPE. I MIGHT GET BORED AND DECIDE THE BEST REVENGE IS KILLING YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY WITH YOUR OWN HANDS.”

Ah yes, that was more along the lines of what they expected from Bill.

“So you’re saying you’ll just let bygones be bygones if I cooperate with you?” Stan asked skeptically.

“WE’LL GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS, NEVER TO MEET AGAIN!”

“And what are you planning on doing once you’re free?” Ford asked coldly.

“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, SIXER.” The demon waved him off. “NOW ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME OUT OF HERE OR NOT? THE SOONER THE BETTER. YOU TWO AREN’T GETTING ANY FURTHER AWAY FROM THE AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A HUMAN MALE, AND FISH FACE HERE DOESN'T EXACTLY TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIS BODY.”

“Hey!” Stan shouted indignantly.

“Why should Stan’s life expectancy factor into this?” Ford asked.

“HMMM? OH, NO REASON.” Bill said evasively. “I’M JUST, Y’KNOW, IN A HURRY.”

“You’re an immortal, extradimensional being. You’ve been trying to find a way out of the nightmare realm since before multicellular life developed on this planet. If you’re so sure we’re close to the end of our lives, why not wait until we’re out of the way? You must realize we’ll try and stop you from starting Weirdmaggedon again!” Ford reasoned.

“WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT STARTING WEIRDMAGGEDON AGAIN?” Bill denied. “AND MAYBE AFTER A BILLION YEARS, I’M TIRED OF WAITING!”

“Unless you aren’t immortal any more.” the old researcher concluded.

“YOU’VE SEEN FOR YOURSELF, FORDSY, EVERY TIME YOU OR YOUR IDIOT BROTHER SHATTER ME, I PULL MYSELF BACK TOGETHER.”

“Immortal in the mind, perhaps. But what happens when the mind you’re occupying finally dies?”

“ALRIGHT, YOU FIGURED IT OUT!” Bill sneered. “I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN A GENIUS LIKE YOU WOULD. YEAH, MY LIFE’S TIED TO THE BIG MACKEREL’S NOW. SO WHAT? YOU GONNA KILL YOUR BROTHER JUST TO GET RID OF ME?”

“Of course not!” Ford barked.

“Hey, I’d be more than happy to take you down with me if it meant making sure you never hurt anyone else ever again!” Stan challenged the demon.

Ford stared at his brother with wide eyes. “Stanley, no!”

“Hey, relax, I’m not talkin’ suicide or anything.” Stan assured him. “But he’s right about one thing. I’m not gonna live forever.”

I’ll only do it if I have to. A stray thought cawed overhead.

Stan cussed under his breath as Ford gaped at him with a mix of alarm and pity.

“I’m not gonna take it back.” Stan insisted after a moment. “If that’s what it comes down to, to keep him from hurtin’ you or the kids, then I’m taking him down with me.”

Ford placed his hands firmly on Stan’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eye with all the intensity he could muster. “We won’t let that happen!”

Bill laughed at them cruelly. “RIGHT, CUZ YOU’VE HAD SO MUCH SUCCESS STOPPING ME IN THE PAST.”

“I’ll find some other way!” Ford insisted.

“I’M SURE YOU COULD, WITH TIME.” Bill agreed. “BUT I’M GONNA STRANGLE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP BEFORE THEN!”

Not if I strangle myself first! Another one of Stan’s stray thoughts called.

Ford gave his brother a frustrated shake. “No! Stanley, I swear to you, that won’t be necessary!”

“Alright, that’s it. We’re not havin’ this conversation in my brain, where you can hear all my unprocessed thoughts.” Stan decided.

Suddenly, Ford’s form and everything around them flickered and began to fade to white. Stan and Bill were the only ones who remained solid and whole. Stan was waking up? But he’d never been asleep before the spell in the first place!

“Don’t you try any funny business!” Stan pointed an accusing finger at Bill. “I’m coming back to shatter you into a million smaller pieces as soon as I fall asleep tonight!”

#Gravity Falls #Fanfiction #Stanley Pines #Stanford Pines #Stanuary 2021 #This jerk

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cat-in-a-fedora · 5 years ago

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Reunion Falls

I think I found something for the reunion falls au of Gravity Falls on the original creator’s blog. The reblog and like functionalities weren’t working for some reason, and I couldn’t find it in the creator’s archive. I really like this, though, so I’m gonna put it here and give credit.

This was originally on @sailorleo, and I couldn’t reblog it for some reason.

`-i dunno, he’s like, really weirdly clingy, but when we’re together all he wants to do is talk about his band…

-dump him.

-dipper that’s the same advice you’ve given me for every boyfriend i’ve ever had

-then why don’t you ask mabel?

-fine, maybe i will. mabel, what do you-

-no actually i think dipper’s right you should dump him

-teen soos playing with baby dipper and getting all excited when he says his name

-it would work better if stan actually knew mabel was coming beforehand, but just couldn’t work up the nerve to tell dipper until the last minute. by some fluke, mabel arrives a day early, and makes contact with dipper while stan is out.

-stan tells dipper that at the time of his birth his parents weren’t expecting twins, and couldn’t afford to take care of two children at once. he only told the kid they were dead because he thought it might be easier to handle than the idea that his parents didn’t want him.

–

-what are you still doing up?

-’m makin’ a sweater for grenda. she’s bigger than me, so it’s taking longer. you had a nightmare?

-no big deal, it was just an anxiety dream.

-a what?

-it’s like a nightmare, but instead of being scary it just makes all your deepest insecurities a reality. grunkle stan says they’re the brain’s way of reminding you that life could always be worse.

-…that sounds dumb.

-yeah, well, life isn’t fair, mabel.

–

-that corduroy girl out sick today or somethin’?

-what? um, no! i was just, uh… i tripped. on a rock. a lot of rocks.

-oh c'mon, kid, you think i never got the snot kicked outta me in elementary school? i know a fist to the face when i see it. c'mere, let’s fix you up.

–

-what can i do, though? they’re all bigger than me, and if i tell the teacher i’ll just look like even more of a wimp.

-ha! if you don’t wanna look like a wimp, you should stop letting other people fight your battles for ya.

-but i can’t-

-now hold on. i know you can’t, you’ve got about as many muscles as a soggy piece of toast. but one thing i know about the world is that guys who were born bigger, stronger, and smarter are always gonna punch down. and guys like you an’ me are stuck right at the bottom like old gum. so if your wits can’t save ya, all there is to do is punch back up.

-….do you mean that metaphorically, or….

-i was wondering when i’d have to dig these old things up again! …see, kid, all I’m trying to say is, when the world fights, you gotta learn to fight back.

–

-oh, shit. we’re not getting anywhere like this.

-*gasp* dipper!!

-what??

-you just said the ’s’ word!

-so? we’re practically teenagers, mabel. we can swear.

-i have friends back home who won’t even say ‘crap’! you must be getting it from somewhere

-i don’t know what you-

-[wendy enters] AYYYYYY DICKWEEDS WHAT’S FUCKIN HAPPENING

–

-ugh, sorry about all that, man. i don’t know why robbie’s always such an asshole to you.

-you don’t think he’s like…..jealous of me, do you?

-HA! ohhhhh my god. oh my god you’re probably right.

-what, does he think I’m gonna like, steal you away? like he’s INTIMIDATED by me? ��that feels kinda good, actually.

-oh man, can you imagine? dipper pines, casanova extraordinaire! refined older women such as myself just….COLLAPSING at your feet!

–

-grunkle stan, um…. where are my parents?

-uhh……….. they died.

-oh…. how did they die?

-they………………died.

–

-you know when you’re wearing just the vest without a sweater you kinda look like……. someone. it’ll come to me

–

-mabel, what did you do to the journal????

-what? you told me to pretend it was my diary!

-i said to PRETEND it was your diary, not actually use it as a diary!! you didn’t mess with the stuff inside, did you?

[cut to: a shot of the interior of the journal, filled with stickers and cute little drawings and tiny diary entries about boys and the like]

-…….nnnnnnnope.

–

-if you’re going to be a monster hunter, you’ve got to have a look.

-hey, i’ve already got THAT covered

-no, i mean a look that tells people you mean business. like what i’ve got!

-what’s more businesslike than a leopard wearing sunglasses?

-i can think of a few things. what about like, a jacket? or…. a jacket? something besides a big fluffy sweater.

-listen dip, we’ve only known each other for a few days so i’ll let you off the hook this time. but first rule of mabel? the sweater STAYS.

-ugh, fine, but you’re gonna overheat. hey, what about this? it’s big enough to wear over a sweater. and it’s got pockets!

-but does it have PERSONALITY?

-you can decorate it or whatever i don’t care.

–

-mabel, have you seen my gel?

-nope. why do you gel your hair, anyway?

-i don’t want my bangs to cover my birthmark.

-can’t you just cut them off?

-it’s part of the look.

-ohhh, the 'look’.

–

-soooooo dipper had a crush on you, huh?

-haha, yuuuuuup. he thought he was being super smooth about it too. 100% convinced i had no idea. oh shit, dude, you wanna see this valentines card he made me when he was like, seven?

-you KNOW i do!

-boom! check it. all the blackmail you’ll ever need on one piece of construction paper.

-oh my gosshhhhhhhhh…..wait, "love, ty"?

-oh yeah, ol’ dipstick used to go by 'tyrone’ before he was dipper. just between you and me, dipper suits him better. tyrone is too cool for him.

-why’d he switch?

-dunno, really. he used to hate his birthmark, people would make fun of him for it, yknow? and then one day he just started being super cool with it. he like, reinvented his entire image around the thing. you should’ve seen him before that though, always brushing his bangs down over his forehead… well, at least he puts some effort into his appearance now.

–

-FUCK!

-KID!

-oh no.

-where’d you learn language like that?

-i… uh….

–…..wasn’t from me, was it?

-n-no! it was from…. nobody! i mean, you hear stuff around, and-

-WAHAHA! this is great! now i don’t have to keep my mouth shut around ya! and it isn’t even my fault!

–

-mabel, take out the trash

-booooooo!

-…aren’t you going to do what he said?

-sure, just as soon as i finish kicking dipper’s butt!

-i will dance on your grave, mabel.

-but…he’s your uncle. you should listen to him before he gets mad, right?

-pff, what’s ol’ stan gonna do, throw his dentures at me? (don’t tempt me, kid) half the fun of being a kid is not doing what adults tell you to do! consequences be darned.

-…paz, really, stan loves us. he’s not gonna like, hit me or anything. yikes.

–

-dipper, seriously, what the heck happened between you and gideon!

-i told you, nothing! he’s just a creep.

-oh, is THAT why he won’t stop talking about you? even on our dates! it’s WEIRD. ….you two aren’t like, exes or-

-ew, no!

-haHA! you dated gideon! gideon and dip-per sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-

-we were FRIENDS, okay?? …sort of. i dunno. it was a long time ago.

-heyoooo my drama senses are tingling! now you HAVE to tell me! deets deets deets!

-uuugggghhhhhh fine

-dipper and gideon have been rivals since childhood, but back then it was on somewhat friendlier terms. they would get each other in trouble, start fights over nothing, ruin each other’s stuff, but they would always walk away with smiles on their faces, like an unspoken pact to annoy the shit out of each other forever. but things started to change after gideon found journal 2. dipper didn’t see him around with the other kids as often. his tactics got nastier. he started “winning” more often. things came to a head after stan started teaching dipper to box. one day when dipper and wendy were hanging out together, they ran into gideon, who took the opportunity to tease them mercilessly. when he started going after wendy, dipper socked him, hard, in the nose. “i dunno. i was really mad, but i think i also just wanted to prove i was strong. wendy was always protecting me, so i wanted to protect her back.” after that point, gideon declared them mortal enemies.

-stan and wendy were definitely elated at the fact that dipper punched gideon. stan probably tried to bake him a cake.

–

DOUBLE DIPPER

“BAM! look out party, this girl’s on a mission! and that mission is to find a summer getaway friend group. woah, huddling crowd of teenagers! that’s perfect!”

-paz is talking with everyone listening when mabel interrupts her. “heyo! guess who’s here, it’s mabel, and that’s me.” “…..that’s great, sweetheart.”

-mabel is really excited to make new friends at the party, but most everyone starts hanging around pacifica. mabel tries to make friends with pacifica but paz rejects her, saying “listen, youre new so i’ll fill you in. it might seem like people like you and are interested in you because youre 'quirky’ or whatever, but you’re just a cheap novelty. around here? i’m the one who matters. nobody ignores pacifica northwest. adoring fans?” paz snaps her fingers and the crowd begins to shove mabel out of the circle until she finally falls on the empty dance floor. defeated, mabel shuffles off to the only people not part of the crowd (candy and grenda) “you too, huh?” “don’t worry. when we burn, we burn together.” paz then steps up to the mic and points at them, shouting “hey everyone, check out this adorable new attraction! it’s the reject corner!”

“aww, we don’t need this. the true merit of a partymaster is knowing how to take the party with you. this calls for an impromptu sleepover!”

-mabel offers to cheer up her new friends by ditching the party and having a sleepover instead, candy remarks that they were planning a post-party sleepover together anyway, grenda says how she stole a raunchy romance novel from her mom- wolfman bare-chest. grenda shows off that the book has a full-color illustration of gerard, candy remarks how she wants one of her own, mabel remembers that they have an old copy machine downstairs.

-“i don’t understand. i’m having fun, but i still feel this burning desire to go back downstairs and make her suffer for her crimes. crimes against friendship and partying.” “hey, i know what’ll curb that thirst for vengeance! theft! look what i stole from my mom’s bedside table!” “grenda, you wild girl! this is perfect!” “and it comes with a full-color illustration! his pecs are holographic!” *all three girls scream* “aah!! he is so rugged and brooding, i want to take him home with me and make him my trophy husband!” “ooh, i think we have an old copy machine downstairs! that way we can all keep the poster! come on girls, let’s go make our dreams a reality!”

-the girls end up bringing gerard to life because fuck the laws of reality, he emerges and says “which of you fair maidens brought me into this realm?” candy points to mabel. “girls, i think the party is back on!”

-“hey, fursuit, i don’t know if anyone told you, but this isn’t a costume party. although that would explain YOUR outfit, mabel”, gerard gets angry and tries to defend her by attacking pacifica. pacifica gets a small scratch on her arm and shrieks “are those REAL claws?!” mabel and candy struggle with gerard and finally subdue him (after he loses an arm to the punch bowl) by stuffing him into a closet. “you can come out after you learn to stop being such a butt!!” candy makes some remark about “at least we didn’t make any more!” cut to grenda either using the copy machine or already surrounded by wolf men.

-after the gerard squad starts running wild at the party, mabel gets an idea. “grenda, they’ve already like, werewolf-bonded to you, right? so if you’re in danger, they’ll come and save you!” “..i know what i have to do. hey northwest, be mean to me!” “ok, ok, just… give me a minute. ….hey circus freak, you’ve got arms like a gorilla and a voice like a wrestler, so it’s no wonder that the only boys interested in you are a bunch of wolves!” “…..pacifica, that was really mean.” “YOU TOLD ME TO!!!”

-maybe have pacifica get on the mic again so all the wolves hear her insult

-“grenda I’m sorry you have the body of an amazonian goddess and a voice like ten angels singing one direction!!” “yeah, maybe if one direction were all chain smokers.”

-the girls use this plan to lure the wolfpack into the kitchen, where there’s a sprinkler system connected to the fire alarm. the plan is that once all of the wolves are present, mabel will signal for candy to pull the alarm. however, once mabel gives the signal, it’s revealed that candy has been captured. “i’m sorry, mabel…. their pecs were just so shiny!” “i’m sorry i dragged you into this, pacifica.” “yeah, i’m sorry you dragged me into this, too.” maybe have them cowering on top of the fridge. but just when it looks like all hope is lost, the sprinklers come on anyway. it’s revealed that the first gerard was the one who pulled it, sacrificing himself to save mabel’s life.

-“you will always be in my heart, mabel pines. and i hope…..that i will be in yours…..”

-“well, pacifica, maybe now that we’ve worked together as a team, we can come away from this knowing that our fighting was petty and pointless, having gained a mutual respect.” “are you SERIOUS? all this proves is that you’re a freak, and your friends are freaks, and even though I’m gonna make sure to stay as far away from your little circle of lost causes as possible, the next time we meet? you’re going DOWN, and I’m gonna make sure EVERYONE is watching.” “……welp! i didn’t gain anything from that! maybe next time.”

-“i’m sorry that all this happened, girls. if you don’t wanna hang out with me after this, i get it.” “are you kidding? that was incredible!” “i feel like my heart is on fire! but in a good way!”

-in the aftermath, the girls (sans pacifica) burn the book. as they watch the illustration of gerard smolder, mabel solemnly says “this ends once and for all.” “….my mom’s gonna want that book back.” “once. and. for all.”

IRRATIONAL TREASURE

-pacifica overhears what the twins are trying to do and tails them, then ends up getting captured along with them

-LET ME OUT OF HERE! I AM A NORTHWEST!

-i thought we just established that doesn’t count for anything anymore.

-pacifica yells at mabel for doing something as stupid as leaving a trail of candy wrappers, dipper interrupts to ask her why she always feels the need to shut people down like that. pacifica tells him that its her duty as a woman of status to let everyone know what their place is. “orrrrrr you just feel so threatened by the idea that you’re not as well-liked as you think you are that you need to make everyone else feel bad about themselves.” “WHAT was that?” “threatened?”

-mabel gets her nerve back and yells at pacifica that why would she ever want to be liked by a stuck-up shallow primadonna like her, and throws a hunk of peanut brittle at her, freeing trembly.

-after returning to town, the twins see pacifica being berated by her parents for disappearing and getting her clothes dirty. mabel feels sorry for her and goes over to explain that oh, it was actually my fault, i was trying to uncover dirt on the northwest family and pacifica stepped up to intervene, and we got into a fight. also we totally didnt find anything to shame the northwests so you can thank pacifica for that too. the northwests then threaten to sue the pines family for hurting their daughter, but paz holds them back, saying something about how it isnt worth it to waste time on poor people like mabel.

-this is the start of mabel and pacifica’s budding friendship, and pacifica’s redemption arc

SUMMERWEEN

-hey, little man!

-oh, hey wendy! ….and robbie.

-so….. chilling in the bushes without a costume on? what’s that about?

-nah, i’d say he’s got a pretty solid 'loser’ costume lined up already.

-i’m just hanging out with mabel and her friends, i guess. this big legendary monster thing says its gonna eat us unless we collect 500 pieces of candy but y'know. no worries.

-sick, dude. and you didn’t even have to go out and find this thing yourself? your sis must be like, a monster magnet.

-yeah, she…really is.

-well, i’d help you with the mission if i could, but i’ve got this whole 'aloof teenager’ thing to keep up, yknow? no trick-or-treating for these old bones. but I’ve got a few extra sweets in my purse if you need some more handouts! we can go find mabel, and-

-NO! i-i mean… no, don’t find her, its ok, i got it, give it to me.

-woah, chill out, you little freak! you’re not HIDING from her, are you? …is everything ok? and don’t say it is, because nobody sweats that much when everything’s ok. not even you.

-……i dunno, it’s like, i don’t mind having her around, but we’re always together and she wants us to do all these “twin” things now and I’m just not sure I’m ready for it yet.

-yeah, i getcha. its gotta be a lot to take in. hey, if you need somewhere to decompress after this whole candy deathmatch thing is over, tambry’s throwing a party at her house in a few. text me when you’re free?

-just try not to dork up the place if you show.

-robbie, if you don’t lay off I’m gonna punch you in the dick.

-i just….. twins are supposed to have this special bond, y'know? like a mind meld or something. and i just feel like i’ve missed so much. things could've….should’ve been different. and i came here because i wanted to make things the way they were supposed to be. i thought like, maybe if we were together we could pretend that its the way things always were and everything was ok. but i cant. its not.

-yeah, i… i’m sorry, mabel. everything just happened so fast, and i couldn’t handle it, and i avoided thinking about it, and….i ended up avoiding you, too. i’ve been kind of a crummy brother so far, huh?

-no, no, i get it…. i’m weird, and this is weird, and you’re one of those weird people who likes to be by yourself. and i understand if you don’t want to be siblings. but… can we at least be friends?

-i don’t see why we can’t be both.

TOURIST TRAPPED

-hey, mabel, i was wondering, uh…… how did our parents die?

-woah, what? they’re not dead! are they?? you’re freaking me out, dipper!

-'sup, hambone?

-oh, hey….. soos, right?

-you got it, lil’ dude! so, what’s eating you? besides the mosquitos anyway. nice, good one soos.

-soos, have you ever tried to do something that you thought would make everyone really happy, but instead it just blows up in your face and everything is awful and it’s all your fault?

-story of my life, dude. probably not on this scale though. just a minor everyday occurrence.

-they probably hate me, don’t they?

-what? no way! i just met you a few hours ago and i can already tell you’re like the least hateable dude I’ve ever met. you’re like if they found a way to combine a smiling puppy with an anime fairy princess.

-but i ruined everything!! that’s what they’ll call me in the history books. mabel, queen of ruining everything. everyone was fine until i got here.

-it’s not your fault, dude. mr. pines had to tell dipper at some point. and dude, if it makes you feel any better, i am PSYCHED to have you here. i was telling customers about it all day!

-thanks, soos, but…. i should probably just go home. maybe if I’m gone dipper and stan can just forget this ever happened and go back to normal.

-you kidding, dog? nothing’s ever normal around here. i know this is like, a huge bombshell, but dipper and stan love each other. they’ll work it out. …hey, my brain just came up with a totally neato idea! why don’t we pitch a tent and have a sleepover out here under the stars? we could swap stories, eat raw marshmallows, and if you still want to go home tomorrow morning you can.

-….only if you’ll try to throw the marshmallows into my mouth with your eyes closed.

-deal.

-hey, mom. yeah i got here ok! it’s great, the woods around here are so cool and mysterious! oh, and i met this really cute guy but he turned out to be a bunch of gnomes under a hoodie. i know!! wild, right!

-h-hey mabel….can i….talk to them?

-…oh, mom, dipper wants to talk to you. is that ok?

-….hi, mo- ..mrs pines. it’s dipper.

-“oh, you must be the friend mabel was talking about! she was so excited to meet you! i hope you two are having fun!”

-yeah, it's…. it’s good to have her here.

-“are you all right, dear? you’re sniffling.”

-yeah, i’ve just got a cold. it’s ok.

THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE MABEL

-mabel sees a commercial for the tent of telepathy on tv and gets excited, pulling dipper over to see the famous “psychic”. dipper is annoyed at best and just groans, expositing that he and gideon have been rivals since they were little. he says he’s been trying to catch gideon in the act of something, ANYTHING, for as long as he can remember, and now with the help of mabel’s journal he’s devised a new theory: that gideon might actually be a vampire! he’s always coated in lotion, has stark white hair, speaks like an old southern man, and it might also explain his psychic powers. but dipper isn’t allowed in the tent of telepathy anymore, and he hasn’t been able to get close to gideon in his personal life. mabel offers to go investigate in dipper’s place, but he warns her that it’s not worth it and gideon is a “creep”, offhandedly mentioning that mabel probably doesn’t have the investigative skills necessary to crack the case on her own. determined to prove herself, mabel goes anyway, in “disguise” as a journalist so she can ask gideon questions when the show is over. during the questioning gideon becomes enamored with her, and when mabel asks if he’s a vampire he flirts around the issue, suggesting that he is simply to win mabel over. it works, and she agrees to go on a date with him.

-mabel takes notes on gideon’s mannerisms in the journal while on dates

-over time, gideon begins to reveal his true colors, and mabel realizes that dating a supposed vampire doesn’t really make up for gideon’s behavior.

-actually i changed my mind about the vampire plot, probably dipper just tries to keep mabel away from gideon because of their checkered past together

BOYZ CRAZY

“….can i confess something?”

“yeah, of course.”

“I’ve never like….. LIKED anyone. I’ve dated plenty of guys, and even a couple girls, but i don’t think i felt what i was supposed to be feeling for any of them. i thought that eventually if i went out with enough people, i would start to like at least one of them, but…. i dunno. I’m starting to think that i’ll never fall in love. maybe i CANT fall in love.”

“well… that’s not the end of the world! love kinda. sucks. especially when someone doesn’t like you back.”

“ugh, that’s what I’ve been doing to all these people! for years! i suck. i keep trying to be like everyone else, but i just end up pushing people away. I’ve lost so many friends…”

“hey, it’s not your fault. robbie’s a turd, you know that.”

“yeah, i guess you’re right… i dunno, you ever feel like there’s something, like, fundamentally wrong with you? like something fucked up in the womb and now you can’t ever be a normal person?”

[dipper pulls up his shirt slightly, looking at his binder]

“yeah. i do”

DREAMSCAPERERS

bill: I WAS WONDERING WHEN I’D RUN INTO YOU! QUESTION MARK, SHOOTING STAR…. AND DIPPER OF COURSE!

mabel: whoa, hey, how come soos and i get special names, but not dipper? that’s not fair!

dipper: uh, mabel, that’s not really-

bill: THAT IS HIS SPECIAL NAME, KID! ALWAYS HAS BEEN. HE JUST ADOPTED IT A LITTLE EARLY IS ALL.

dipper: wait, what?. you…you were the one in my dreams? all this time, it was YOU?

-new scene-

dipper: it’s just… the name was a big part of my like, identity, yknow? i thought it was so cool and special and for the first time in my life i was starting to feel NOT like a freak. i thought i was being cool but i was just doing exactly what bill wanted! [pulls his jacket over his head] aaaargh, what have i been doing all this time?!

mabel: di- …..bro, listen to me. your whole like, supreme tough guy monster hunter thing? it’s PRETTY silly. but that’s what i like about it! it’s all you, and you own it! and nobody chose to make you like that but you! and you didnt choose the name dipper because bill told you to, right? that was still all you. so, i don’t know. even if the guy who made it up turned out to be kiiiiiiind of a major jerk i dont think that means all of that is ruined forever. and if you stop going by dipper i’m going to have to start going by shooting star as revenge. star for short!

dipper: ….i think i like you as mabel better.

mabel: aww no, i was already getting used to it! star sounds like the name of a princess, doesnt it? or a galactic warrior!

-BUT DON’T YOU WORRY YOUR GEL-COVERED LITTLE HEAD, KID! I WON’T BE BOTHERING YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN. YOU’VE PROVEN YOURSELF TO BE EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING AND USELESS. CONGRATS.

SCARY-OKE

-in this case obviously dipper wouldn’t want the agents around, since stan has taught him better than that.

-dipper decides that he’s finally ready to talk to his birth parents over the phone, but when he does they insist that they never had twins and mabel has always been an only child, and he realizes they don’t know who he is. everything he knows is once again called into question.

-mabel tries to get the agents’ help in figuring out the mystery behind dipper’s birth and proving that the two of them are siblings

-maybe dipper raises the dead as a way to threaten stan? like, oh you’re so afraid of the supernatural, what if i do this

-or mabel tries to lure the agents back to the shack by creating a supernatural disaster, like oh, say, zombies

-stan finally admits, with zombies breaking down the door, that he got mixed up with the supernatural and made some very bad decisions, although he isn’t specific about what happened. he relinquishes that he kept the truth from dipper all these years not for his sake, but because he couldn’t bear to admit that he was responsible for separating dipper from the family he should’ve grown up with.

THE GOLF WAR

-mabel and pacifica run into each other at the mini golf course, and after watching mabel sink the winning shot pacifica realizes she has feelings for her. furious with herself for developing a crush on somebody like mabel, pacifica challenges her to a rematch and vows to destroy her.

-dipper and stan are worried about pacifica’s behavior, but mabel assures them that she probably just wants a little one-on-one game and had to disguise it as a fight to the death since her parents were with her.

-pacifica gets to the golf course early to get some extra practice in, discovers the lilliputtians, and decides to use them to win against mabel, convinced that if she proves to herself that she’s better then her crush will go away.

-mabel becomes concerned with pacifica’s attitude and worried that she’s gone back to her old ways, bribing somebody to help her cheat. eventually she’s captured and tied up, and pacifica has to save her.

-in the aftermath, pacifica can’t stomach apologizing, so mabel does it for her. “hold on, dip. i think i know what’s going on here.” “what? no. you definitely don’t. whatever you’re about to say about me is completely and totally wrong.” “so i just want to let you know, pacifica…. it’s ok. i understand.” “understand what there’s nothing to understand” “yes there is! and i’ve felt that way before, too. even about you sometimes.” “wh…..huh? you have?” “yeah! all that pressure to compete really gets to you sometimes. but just because i beat you at something it doesn’t mean that you’re any less cool than you were before., ok? so i don’t want you to feel like you have to prove that!” “oh. yeah. yeah, that. yeah.” [awkward pause] “soooo…. you don’t hate me?” “of course not!” “ok good. that’s like, good to know. i don’t hate you either.”

-theyre playing truth or dare and mabel dares dipper to hold candy’s hand for the rest of the night

-mabifica bullshit: 'let me see those beautiful eyes’, holding hands post-confession in nmm, arguing about whether or not to run off into the woods together at night

THE LOVE GOD

-during a conversation with wendy, dipper casually mentions that he’d like a girlfriend. mabel overhears and decides to try and pair him up with someone. she enlists the help of candy and grenda for this secret mission, but notices that candy seems uncomfortable with it. eventually she admits that she’s had a crush on dipper for a while, and mabel is ecstatic. she conspires to set them up on a date at the woodstick festival. candy makes mabel promise not to tell dipper, but of course she can’t keep her mouth shut and blurts it out while the two are having breakfast at the diner. mabel expects dipper to leap at the chance, but instead he just feels awkward. he tells mabel that although he likes candy and thinks she’s great, he’s never thought of her like that. mabel urges him to give her a chance, but dipper argues that it will end badly. he spots candy nearby, freaks out, and runs for cover. it’s at this point that mabel meets the love god.

NORTHWEST MANSION MYSTERY

-“….and grenda can take a hit pretty well so she’d be the best choice for a distraction while i spray 'em with the anointed water from behind, but we might need pacifica to-”

“actually, dip, i was gonna ask if i could handle this one on my own.”

“what? why? we don’t know how powerful this ghost is!”

“because i, the wonderful mabel pines, am going to confess my love for pacifica tonight!”

“you only realized you liked her two days ago!”

“exactly! no time to waste when romance is afoot!”

“you don’t even know if pacifica LIKES girls!”

“well i don’t know if she likes BOYS either. she always seemed kinda indifferent to-

"even if she does, what if she doesn’t like you back? and you know what her parents are like, they probably wouldn’t want her dating another girl anyway…”

“why do you always have to shoot me down like this”

“…..i’m sorry, mabel… i just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

-“we did it!” “haha, yes!!”

-(internally) “this is the perfect moment, mabel, just go for it!”

-“umm, pacifica? now that we just beat this big scary ghostman together, there’s something i wanted to-”

-“YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, FOOLISH CHILD”

-“….on second thought, I’m gonna go exorcise screamsville here first.”

-“that’s probably a good idea”

-{“WITCH! SERVANT OF EVIL!”}

-“i’m sorry. i didn’t want you to know this about me.”

-“ok, so, your family’s gotten mixed up in some bad stuff, that doesn’t mean-”

-“no, it does. you’ve always been so nice to me, and i never did anything to deserve it… hanging out with you, and dipper, and everyone, hanging around the shack….i started to realize that this isn’t normal. my parents aren't……normal. and now I’m just so scared that no matter what i do, i’ll end up just like them.”

-“….pacifica. i know you. your outsides may be crusted over with gold coins and expensive body lotion and hairspray, but your insides are made of bubbles and kitten kisses and rainbow dolphins high-fiving each other. your parents are a couple of stinky poo-heads inside and out and you’re not anything like them.”

[pacifica, crying, kisses her]

-“oh no. this was a mistake. I’m leaving.”

-“pacifICA WAIT”

-“what would you say if i said i was in love with you?”

-“i’d say you only wanted me for my money”

-“oh pacifica, your heart is gold enough to last me a lifetime!”

-“shhhhhpsshh stop!!”

-[mabel kisses her on the cheek]

-“no but really stop i don’t want my parents to see”

-“ohhh yeah sorry”

THE LAST MABELCORN

-things start out much like they do in canon, but when mabel meets the unicorn and it tells her that she’s not pure of heart she jumps to the conclusion that bill has “tainted” her in some way by taking over her body. the abuse metaphors here are obvious. she sadly returns home and begs ford to help her in some way, and he takes her down to his study. meanwhile, dipper sets back out with the girls in mabel’s place.

-“…..but it wasn’t me….” “what?” “i…..i have to go.” “mabel, wait!”

have it so like, she’s not necessarily visibly distraught when she talks to ford, or even to her friends, but more determined to “fix” herself, hiding the worry that she’s a bad person beneath her insistence that it must be bill’s fault.

“GRUNKLE FORD! bill gunked up my soul and i need you to fix it so i can be pure of heart again!” “…mabel…” “please please please PLEEEAASE!”

-“no offense, but you break the law daily, you two have kind of a…. mutual violent streak, and you……” “don’t say anything.” “and if being involved with bill really did disqualify mabel, then I’ve been doomed for years.” “you’re also not a 'maiden.’” “good point.”

-“man, this is bullshit.” “i know. how are we gonna find someone more pure than mabel?” “no, i mean. the game’s rigged. nobody’s completely 'pure of heart’ or whatever, and how do you even measure that? that glitter-snorting poser doesn’t ever have to give up the goods because she’s asking for something that doesn’t exist.” “…so how do we get the hair?” “well, i say if princess unattainabelle back there doesn’t wanna play fair, we shouldn’t have to either. alright, kids, who’s ready to add a few more bad deeds to the naughty list?” “YEAH!”

-meanwhile, mabel’s mind begins to be encoded. “i can’t undo what’s already been done, mabel. but i can make it a lot harder for bill to hurt you again.”

-mabel’s thoughts: “do you a favor” “have craz and xyler ever kissed?” “adopt every kitten in the world” “PACIFICA PACIFICA PACIFICA”

-mabel ends up putting the helmet on ford because she starts to have intrusive thoughts worrying that he could be possessed by bill, and she decides that proving herself wrong would put them to rest. “ugh, shut UP, brain! this is why we don’t talk anymore.”

-when mabel reads his thoughts, she freaks out and, unlike dipper, actually succeeds in hitting ford with the memory gun. he’s knocked to the ground and she approaches him cautiously as he rises back to his feet. when he explains that he’s not bill and the gun didn’t work anyway, mabel starts crying and hugs him. “its ok, mabel. you did the right thing. when dealing with an enemy like bill, you can’t fully trust anyone, not even the people closest to you. …maybe if i’d known that when i was younger, we wouldn’t be in this mess now.”

-“….i’m a bad person.” “oh come on, you don’t still believe that unicorn, do you? i thought dipper told you she was full of it.” “no, i… did something really bad today. i thought bill did something to gunk up my heart but it was really just me all along.” “wow, what did you do?” “nn. you’d hate me if i told you.” “mabel, you could kill a dog in front of me and i wouldn’t hate you. and if you don’t tell me i’ll just assume the worst.” “i AM the worst.” “ohhhh my god. …..ok, let’s say that bill did break your soul for all eternity or whatever. so what? you’re still my girlfriend. and in case you haven’t noticed, i’m pretty messed up too.”

ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

-“aww, come on! think about it…. just us girls, alone under the stars…” “eww, fine! i’ll come if you stop being gross”

-“i can’t believe my own sister got a girlfriend before me!”

-“romance ain’t a contest, kid.”

-“…yeah, you’re probably r-”

-“just kidding its definitely a contest. one you’re losing.”

-“he was… flirting with me! i think he actually likes me back!”

-“AAAAAAAAA!!” “get it, girl!” “candy wins!” “i wouldn’t get your hopes up, chiu. he’s probably just being a tool.”

-“pacifica, how could you?” “why must you deny true love?” “hey, dipper’s my friend and i think he’s great, but he sucks. I’m just being realistic.”

-“oh, no. i think i just agreed to take candy out on a date.”

-“….aaaaand do you LIKE her?”

-“well, yeah…………….as a fr-”

-“UGGGGGHHHHHH I KNEW IT. listen, 'dopper’, you got yourself into this mess, and its not up to me to help get you out. you deserve it for toying with a woman’s feelings, anyway.”

“candy…. saved my life. even after i broke her heart. she’s so cool…………………………………oh, SHIT.”

-“it’s ok, dipper. if dating pacifica has taught me anything, its that the way to a woman’s heart is through emotional angst and near-death experiences. and we get those every day!”

-“you deserve this and i have no sympathy for you.”

–

DIPPER AND MABEL VS THE FUTURE

same basic setup, with mabel hitting up all her friends for party plans, but the focus is on having to return home without all the friends she’s made rather than anxiety about growing up (although that’s still a factor). in addition to discovering candy and grenda won’t be around, she also finds that pacifica’s parents are becoming suspicious of her frequent outings so she’s trying to lay low for a little while, so she won’t be able to hang out for the last week of summer.

ford invites dip along for the alien hunt, and doesn’t exactly offer dipper the chance to be his apprentice, but is impressed with his adventuring skills and the fact that dipper has been training in the art of mystery solving for years. au dipper is quite a bit braver than canon dipper after all, and quicker to spring into action right after ford. theres still a bit of hesitation involved, and when ford praises him for his courage, he laughs and remarks that mabel would’ve jumped right away without any thought. ford then confides in dipper that although mabel uses her heart before her head, he can still see how scared she is inside and thinks it would be best for mabel to return home and cease connection with gravity falls, because he’s seen first-hand how much bill has hurt her already and he doesn’t want it to get any worse. he also tells dipper that he can tell mabel’s heart isn’t in any kind of study or quest for knowledge like he is, she’s just a kid having fun, and he can tell that its mostly because she wants to impress dipper and it might be better for her to focus her energy on her own interests, which can’t happen if she stays in gravity falls. dipper reluctantly agrees, saying that he’s always sort of worried about the same thing. of course, this is the part that mabel hears over the walkie-talkie.

for all that mabel and ford’s relationship is better, he still sees her as a child while he sees dipper as more of an equal. he warns dipper that letting mabel become dependent on him, or he on her, is a bad idea, because one day they’re going to have to go their separate ways, and mabel might not be able to handle it (implying that she’ll do something drastic to keep him around, like stan did to him).

theres a scene midway through the episode of pacifica sulking on her bed, hugging a pillow to her face. her mother’s voice calls her for dinner from downstairs, and she groans and gets up. looking in the mirror, she realizes her mascara has run and she scoffs and rubs at her eyes. when she opens them up again, the mirror is full of eyes. “something wrong, blondie?” it cuts off there

after mabel runs away into the woods at the end of the episode, pacifica emerges from the bushes in her full incognito gear, saying she came to warn her about bill. that bill tried to make a deal with her but she refused everything he offered, and that he’s getting desperate and is going to try again with someone else, probably before the summer ends. she tells mabel that if neither of their families want them, they’ll run away, out of gravity falls, together. when mabel realizes she has the rift, she groans, annoyed that she has to go back home and return it. but pacifica insists that this actually makes the plan better, that if they leave gravity falls with the rift it can be kept safer… and that, maybe it would be better if pacifica held onto it, since bill is targeting mabel. mabel agrees and hands it over…. at which point pacifica takes a moment to admire it, and then smashes it to the ground. she laughs, takes off her sunglasses, and is revealed to have been possessed by bill. then the world ends.

WEIRDMAGEDDON 1

-after ford is captured, dipper runs into grenda, as in literally runs into her, while she’s attempting to chase a monster in process of carrying off candy. the two travel together for the next three days, finally deciding to explore the mall in search of mabel and the others. on the way there, though, the two are ambushed by bill’s lackeys. before the fight can begin, grenda tosses dipper out of harm’s way and shouts for him to go on without her while she holds off the monsters. dipper reluctantly escapes, leaving grenda to an ambiguous fate.

-during that time, candy finds pacifica huddled in a pile of rubble, and urges her to come help find the others, but she’s reluctant. “look, mabel’s not here anymore, alright?! she’s gone. bill got her. so you can stop pretending to like me.” “candy does not pretend. not when it comes to friendship.” “….if you just left me here, nobody would have to know.” “on your feet, northwest.”

“augh, my poor hair… it’s got like, twigs and shit in it.” “do you want me to cut it off?” “what? no. why would i do that.” “it’s a symbol! in stories, girls cut off their long hair when they are going on journeys and breaking free, leaving the past behind… it is cool and majestic and– pacifica, YOU should cut off MY hair!” “wait, seriously? …ok, whatever, fine, do your weird impulsive nerd thing. you got any like, scissors?” “let me see….. six, seven, eight pairs! i also have a knife.” “candy, what the fuck.”

-dipper finds wendy, pacifica, and candy all hiding together in the mall. dipper is surprised and relieved to find that candy is safe and she talks about how she bit the monster’s hand to get it to free her, proudly revealing that one of her teeth has turned completely red as a result. dipper admits what happened to grenda, and while pacifica and wendy look worried, candy remains adamant that she’s strong and will be all right. hesitantly, dipper asks if any of them have seen mabel. the room goes quiet, and pacifica confesses what happened, that bill came to her and threatened to possess and torture mabel again if she didn’t let him use her body. she thought that if she agreed, she’d become a ghost like mabel did and be able to use a puppet as a vessel in time to warn somebody. instead she simply blacked out, and when she came to she was just in time to see mabel being sealed in a bubble and taken away.

-at some point pacifica confesses to dipper that bill never threatened to hurt mabel. she made the deal willingly because he promised her that mabel would be able to stay in gravity falls if she let him borrow her body, and she was just so scared of losing her, and everyone.

-candy’s arm is broken in the car chase and ensuing wreck against gideon’s crew. in the aftermath, pacifica uses the remains of her jacket to make a sling.

ESCAPE FROM REALITY

mabeland is nearly the same as in canon, though maybe with some minor alterations to reflect the events of the summer. dippy fresh is replaced by a series of “dream dippers”, versions of dipper that mabel had imagined he might be like before actually meeting him. most are unrealistically cool, but one in particular is just someone who would be the ideal brother, always looking out for her and wanting to be with her. in the end of course, mabel has to look at all of this and decide that real dipper is the one she wants. (theres also a fake pacifica who shares all of mabel’s interests and is hopelessly in love with her, always flirting and offering romantic gestures, but without any of the sass and personality that make her who she is. pacifica ends up snapping her neck.)

mabel introduces the dream dippers one by one like they’re contestants on a game show, but one spot is left empty. dipper asks who it’s for, to which mabel nervously replies that it’s more convenient to have something extra just in case. later on, in the wilderness of mabeland, dipper overhears mabel talking to someone. “i don’t understand. everyone can finally be happy here. wendy can break all the rules she wants and never get in trouble, candy can be herself without people making fun of her, pacifica can get away from her parents, and dipper…. well maybe i can understand why HE wants to leave, since he apparently doesn’t want to deal with me….” suddenly, dipper hears his own voice reassuring her that everything will be alright, and he’ll stay by her side forever, that the summer never has to end. she says “do you really mean that?” to which he replies “of course. you know i’m the best brother ever.” the voice is revealed to be perfect, ideal brother dipper.

crushed by this, dipper retreats to the pond, where instead of being approached by wendy he’s approached by candy. she sits down and asks him what’s wrong, and he tells her how awful he feels that he couldn’t have done better for mabel. she assures him that he’s a wonderful person, and mabel’s being silly for not wanting someone like him as a brother. she then tells him that she was being silly for being mad at him, too, that she’s realized he was right all along, and she should’ve forgiven him earlier. “really? …'cause i was totally with you on the whole 'i was a jerk’ thing.” then candy ups the ante, going on to talk about how oh, he’s so much smarter and braver than her, and she was just upset because she thought she stood a chance with him, but she’s such a loser, she could never- dipper stops her there, worried. he continues to insist that it was his fault, he WAS being an asshole, and he should’ve apologized to her a long time ago, but he was nervous “because…. i DO like you, candy. like, like-like you.” he tells her to stop berating herself, that he likes her because she doesn’t let anybody change how weird she is and that she’s not acting like…. herself. it’s at that moment that he realizes what’s going on. as “candy” begins dissolving into bugs, a fist collides with her head and she explodes. its revealed to be grenda, who managed to find her way in because “the door was unlocked.”

when it comes to the trial, mabel’s memories are similarly flipped through, but instead of having a twin to be there in her time of need, she had nobody. she’s never had anybody like that until she met dipper.

TAKE BACK THE FALLS

-candy and grenda’s symbol is a disco ball. “…and this one could mean a person who can see the fun in any situation! or just a party animal.” “hey, that’s me!” “that’s me too!” “it’s both of us!! SYMBOL SISTERS!!!” [grenda lifts candy up onto her shoulders and they each take a hand, candy on her right side since her left arm is broken and grenda on the left]

-“we’re proud of you, daughter. saving the world will be perfect for salvaging our reputation! i still think those pines kids are a bit of a bad influence on you, though.”

-“oh YEAH? how’s THIS for a bad influence?!” [she pulls mabel into a passionate kiss] “news flash, dad! your perfect daughter’s a big fat gross lesbian! and when i grow up I’m gonna marry this riffraff right here, and change my name to pines too!! so DEAL WITH IT!!!”

stan still loses his memory as he did in canon, but dipper is the most visibly distraught and won’t stop begging him to remember. he tells him how even though they fought a lot over that summer, he loves him so much and he’d never ask for a better grunkle. he desperately tries to jog his memory with baby pictures, but they need to trigger more immediate memories first.

the solution for mabel to stay in gravity falls would be to fabricate a lie that dipper is ford’s grandson, ford being the twin that faked his own death to escape a life on the run, but they’ve just come back to reconnect with the family (since dipper lost his parents apparently), and mabel didn’t want to tell her parents at first because she was afraid they wouldn’t want her staying with an estranged family member/ex-con. but she’s made so many great friends and she loves this town and wants to stay with her “cousin”.

while the northwests go house hunting, mabel invites pacifica to stay at the shack until they can find a new home.

rather than leaving for a new adventure, ford and stan decide to stay at the shack and rest for a while, just settle into their new family dynamic. soos, melody, and abuelita all still move in, and so the house is renovated to make room for the huge family.

with the journals destroyed, the mystery squad now has to start from square one…. but dipper tells mabel that she doesn’t have to do anything to impress him anymore. that he’s ready to try just being a kid again.

#gravity falls #reunion falls #gravity falls au #interesting #i think tumblr might have actually glitched on me

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anistarrose · 6 years ago

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Man, can you imagine all the possible shenanigans that could result from Gravity Falls and TAZ Amnesty existing in the same universe? It would be great.

Ned’s Bigfoot video doesn’t attract any FBI agents in this timeline — there’s just not enough resources to investigate all the alleged cryptid sightings these days, even the plausible ones. (Their whole department has been constantly scorned, and their funding slashed, ever since the that disaster in Oregon back in 2012.)

However, it does catch the eye of two old men who just happen to be sailing along the Virginia coast when the video is forwarded to them by their nephew, and they almost immediately make a beeline inland to Kepler. It takes the Pine Guard an embarrassingly long time to realize that there’s actually two of them — identical twins, one of which seems to be a scientist of some sort and the other of which is... well, they’re not sure what his deal is, but he definitely doesn’t give off scientist vibes like his brother. Strangely, the scientist twin seems to be a firm believer in Bigfoot and other assorted supernatural occurrences, while the other just laughs off the idea whenever it comes up.

For their part, Stan and Ford aren’t sure what to think of Kepler, either.

On their way there, they’re still both mildly skeptical (they’ve both seen plenty of hoaxes in their day, no matter how promising this specific video looks), but Ford’s instruments quickly pick up on an oddly familiar feature of the town: a perfectly circular “barrier” of sorts that extends around Kepler and has a radius of exactly one mile. If the readings and Ford’s calculations are to be believed, it could potentially trap magical creatures inside that radius, at least for a short time — an uncanny similarity to Gravity Falls and its weirdness magnetism.

When they travel to the exact center of the circle, they find a strange object in a clearing that they can touch, but not see. They deduce it to be in the shape of an archway, but no matter what they try, it remains invisible to them.

Now, it’s settled beyond any doubt that something strange is going on in Kepler, but at this rate, they’re only stumbling across more questions than answers. It’s especially strange that all of Kepler’s weirdness seems to have manifested only in the last thirty years or so — when Ford was choosing where to do his research after college, he cataloged anomaly sightings across the US, but there was nothing even remotely suspicious in this region of West Virginia back in the early 70s.

If they want to figure out the truth of this town, they'll have to have to figure out which citizens of Kepler know the truth. In order to avoid attracting too much suspicion themselves, they decide to pretend that Ford is a fairly normal, slightly gullible scientist who’s never actually encountered proof of the supernatural before, and that Stan is his more responsible brother/chaperone who’s much more skeptical about Bigfoot and other cryptids. Most people they meet seem to buy into the act without a second thought... except some of those people from Amnesty Lodge. The twins haven’t quite gotten a read on that whole group yet.

Despite their respective businesses being on opposite sides of the country, and despite not officially being in the tourist trap game anymore, Stan develops a rivalry with Ned almost the second he walks into the Cryptonomica. Hijinks ensue — Stan somehow talks his way into renting out an abandoned hotel at a criminally low price, and converts it into an impromptu tourist trap of his own. All the contents are fake, of course, but he succeeds at his apparent goal: drawing business away from Ned. After all, there’s plenty of people in Kepler who are no fans of Ned, but this new attraction? Run by a charming and mysterious pair of identical twins, including one that actually seems to know a thing or two about theoretical cryptid biology? Only in town for a limited time? Now that might just be worth checking out.

(Unbeknownst to everyone but Ford, Stan’s true motive is a bit deeper than spite. He’s always suspected Ned of knowing the truth, and is hoping to pressure Ned into showing off something actually supernatural in order to swing public opinion back in favor of the Cryptonomica — but Barclay has given Ned a stern talking-to about this sort of thing, so it hasn’t worked. Yet.)

Something else that no one realizes for an embarrassingly long time is that Stan and Ned actually worked together on a couple different heists in the late ‘70s. Of course, both of them were going by completely different identities at the time, so when they run into each other again in Kepler they don’t think anything besides “hey, that guy looks kinda familiar... I’m gonna antagonize the shit out of him while our rival tourist traps compete for business.”

Other interactions that definitely happen at some point:

Stan, making genuinely innocent conversation: so, Bigfoot, huh?

Duck, growing increasingly panicked with every word: what? Bigfoot? what about ‘em?! I haven’t seen any Bigfoots around here, and look, if you want my, uh — my professional, uh — my park ranger opinion, all the sightings, they’re just... opossums! a bunch of opossums, standing on each other’s shoulders, ‘cause, uh... ‘cause you know, opossums always carry their babies, but — but here in West Virginia, the babies don’t... always... grow... grow out of it, you know? and — and then, uh, their babies have babies, and they just stack higher and higher until it’s — it’s opossums all the way down, and there’s these big ol’ possum columns wandering the forest and people look at ‘em and think “hey! that’s a — a tall, furry thing, kinda looks like a big hairy ape! better alert the presses!” and there you have it, Bigfoot!

Stan: ...

Stan, later: Ford, you’re not gonna believe this but I found someone who’s worse at lying than you.

***

Ford: I heard you were hanging around the H2Whoa waterpark the day before its destruction. did you see any suspicious behavior? and what brought you there in the first place?

Aubrey: well, I shouldn’t really be giving out this information, but you seem pretty trustworthy, so... I work undercover as a federal pool inspector — we’re called the FPI, you see — but I’m proud to report that the investigation that day was fairly routine! no signs of anything corrupt in the management of our good Kepler waterparks, but I unfortunately have no idea what happened that night. sorry I couldn’t help you more!

Ford: ah, of course. thank you anyways.

Ford, later: Stan, I need you to be honest with me. are federal pool inspectors a thing in this dimension now

Stan: okay, one — you’ve been back for like six years, and two — who the fuck told you that

***

Indrid: so, you’re here because you think I can help you stop the disasters occurring all around town?

Ford: yes, pretty much. also, your cousin owes me fifteen dollars.

Stan: how do you know they’re related? don’t be moth racist, Ford.

***

Ford: you three adopted a monster with yellow eyes and named it Billy? really???? has this whole fucking town with all these fucking monsters just been the setup for a massive joke to be played on me specifically?!?!?!

#gravity falls #taz #taz amnesty #stanley pines #stanford pines #ned chicane #aubrey little #duck newton #crossover #gf x taz #gf x amnesty #rosalia writes misc

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iambicbrose · 5 years ago

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Away From It (Part 1 of the “Here I Am And I Stand So Tall” Series)

Hey there folks, to some of our newer readers, welcome! To give you a bit of background in this, this series is going to span multiple different fandoms, you can read it all, or only decide which ones to read if you'd like. (Don't worry, at the end, Steven gives us a big ole recap so you can catch up on what you missed.) In these authors notes, you will see me refer to 'we' or 'us' fairly frequently. That's because this is a shared account between two authors. This is Kas currently typing up this author's note (Hi, that's me! ^^) and my partner (rp partner, romantic partner, life partner) will typically go by either Nomi or Kit. Don't worry, they're the same person. These fics are written by us collaboratively, so to keep our own works pages clear, we put them on their own account.

To our older readers, I'm sorry. I know it's been a while and we haven't updated much, but we're here with a new series that's already completed!

Feel free to read the whole series, or only some parts of it. Steven will give a recap at the end, so you'll be able to know what you missed! Thanks for giving us a chance, and happy reading! ~Kas

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Summary: Steven Universe has dealt with a lot over the past few years, but now it's time that he find himself, and somewhere to call his home. His first stop on his road trip brings him to what seems to be a cute little forest town over on the West Coast called Gravity Falls. The locals seem just a little odd, but the scenery is beautiful, and the food ain't half bad either! What could go wrong?

Fandom: Steven Universe, Gravity Falls

Relationship: Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe

Characters: Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Stan Pines, Ford Pines, Wendy Corduroy, Bill Cipher, Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran, Lion (Steven Universe)

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 8,598

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Read the story on AO3!

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Rolling into town, Steven looked around. There it was! He'd heard about the cute little bed and breakfast that this place had. He could spend a week or two here easy. Seemed like a cute little town with a nice, quiet forest backdrop.

Parking his car, he got out and headed into the building. Jealous Grapes Bed and Breakfast. Well that sounded pretty darn cute! There was a girl at the counter, but she looked a lot more interested in her phone, than in anything else. Still, Steven put on a smile and walked up to the counter. “Hi there! Do you have any rooms available?”

The girl finally looked up, looked him over, and then turned her head. “ Mom! Dad! You got a customer! ” Then she was back down to looking at her phone again. Huh. Alright. Reminded him a bit of Lars.

He heard whispering from a back room before a woman was poking herself out. “Well hello there! We don’t get many visitors outside of tourist season!”

Steven laughed quietly, smiling at her, “Oh, yeah. I’m, uh, not in school, so I’m just road-tripping around.”

The woman cooed, “Well, isn’t that sweet! We’ve got a great room available upstairs. How long are you lookin’ to stay, dear?”

“Probably a week? Maybe two?” She was really nice. That was sweet. Although something seemed just a little… off. But Steven must have been imagining it. Come on! After everything in his life, nothing could top the whole gem empire thing.

They sorted out his stay and payment, and Steven shot her a grin again. “Thanks for this,” he told her. Well, he better head back to his car and grab his suitcase.

Getting back out onto the street, Steven opened his car door and grabbed his suitcase out of the backseat. He shut the door and turned around to the sidewalk- Woah! Steven accidentally bumped into a little guy, immediately stepping back. “Woah, sorry about that. You alright?”

The kid seemed to take a minute to get his balance. “Aw, shucks, I’m peachy keen! Don’t you worry about lil’ ole me!” What was that accent? That was adorable!

“Aw,” Steven gushed, laughing and ruffling his cute little pompadour. “Sorry again. You have a great day!” With a nod to himself, he carried his suitcase back inside and carried it up to the room he’d rented. The people here in this town just all seemed so… So nice and dandy. He could really stay here for a good week. It would be nice, and Connie was supposed to be flying out to visit that nearby college!

Speaking of Connie, Steven set his suitcase down and grabbed his phone out of his jacket pocket, dialing her up. Good thing spring break just started. It didn’t take long for her to pick up. “ Hey, Steven! You settling in? ”

“Yeah,” he told her, moving his phone so she could see the room. “This place is pretty cute. I’m in that Gravity Falls town. So far, people here seem pretty nice!”

Connie laughed at him, “ People always seem nice to you. But your room does look pretty cute and cozy. I’ll be out there in two days, and we can go check out that college. Can you believe there’s a college with a supernatural degree program? Honestly, I’m kinda thinking about minoring in it, if I decide to go there. Hm, maybe a double minor… ”

He chuckled, “Maybe don’t totally overload yourself just yet? Decide if you even wanna go to this school or not, y’know? But no, there was this kid out on the street, and he was so cute with this little pompadour, and this most adorable accent, and even this little suit! Oh, if you’d seen him, you would have said the same thing, Connie.” Glancing to the nightstand, his eyebrows rose. “Oh, hey a travel brochure!”

“ Okay, ” Connie sighed, giggling and brushing her hair back in that cute way she did. “ You’re right, that does sound cute. And a travel brochure is great! Do they have any cute tourist-y things to do? ”

“Probably. The lady downstairs said that they don’t often get people outside of the ‘the tourist season.’ I’m happy to give them some business, if that’s the case!” Steven laid down on the bed, unfolding the brochure. “They have a lumberjack kind of diner, that sounds pretty great. And hey, this sounds cool. ‘The Mystery Shack.’ I’ll check it out later!” Huh.

“ The Mystery Shack? That does sound cool! ” Connie laughed, smiling at him through the phone. “ Maybe you’ll have to pick me up a souvenir. ”

"Or you can pick yourself up one in a few days when you visit the school," he pointed out to her. This place sounded pretty neat. Maybe this would be a nice place to settle down.

“ Aw, but then it wouldn’t be something that you picked out for me, ” Connie pouted, Steven already feeling himself waver.

"Okay, alright, fine," he finally huffed, smiling at her. "I'll get you something nice."

“ Thank you, Steven, ” Connie laughed, smile bright and beautiful. “ Alright, I’ll let you get settled in. Don’t try to do everything in one day while you’re there! ”

"I'll do my best. Love you, Connie." He waved at her, smiling as he sat himself back up.

Connie’s cheeks flushed as she smiled brightly before murmuring a soft, “ I love you, too. ” Beaming, Steven hung up the phone before looking back at the brochure. Mystery Shack. Sounded cool, at least!

It was later in the day, after a bit of relaxing and napping, that Steven finally drove down to check out the Mystery Shack. It seemed a little old and worn, but there were plenty of people exploring, it seemed. Seemed like a few teenagers were having some fun throwing… toilet paper at each other. That kid from earlier, too. Alright, then. He looked up at the sign. Aw. Poor thing looked like it needed some tender love and care.

Making his way through the war they seemed to be having, Steven got to the entrance and stepped inside. It was honestly pretty incredible! It seemed like a museum to a bunch of old, weird stuff that was half-creepy and half-cool to look at. He had a feeling Connie would love to inspect some of the stuff out on the shelves.

Reading the sign, Steven hummed, "Huh." Gift shop. Perfect! He was shopping for a gift! Peering around the shelves, he looked over when the bell on the door rang. The guys from outside were coming in now. And they felt… cautious. Wary. Hm. He hoped that wasn’t because of him.

“Tours aren’t for another few days,” a teen at the counter called out, flipping through a magazine.

"Oh, that's alright. I'm just looking around right now," he told her, looking over- "Oh, wow, your hair is really pretty! Is that natural?" The girl looked up at him, giving him a very serious stare before she smiled. That was good, right? Although, it looked more like a smirk, then anything.

“Yeah, it is, actually. Feel free to look around, just be warned that the prices are pretty high for everything.”

"Alright, thanks." Steven hummed to the quiet music playing- Oh, that was perfect! A cute little snow globe! Connie would love it! He walked over to the counter with it, setting it down gently. The song changed and he looked over at the radio with a grin. "Hey, Sadie Killer and the Suspects!"

“You know Sadie Killer? Seriously?” The teen gave him a bit of an odd look before rolling her eyes. “Let me guess, you have a friend or a sibling that never shuts up about it, right?”

"No, I know those guys! You know, they started out with the other guys just having a jam sess in Sadie's room. My Dad managed them."

“Your dad managed them?” She raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

"Yeah, Sadie's a really good friend. We all kinda grew up together, she worked at the Big Donut and I got snacks there, like, every other day," he told her with a grin. "Her and Shep's newer music is really sweet. So, how much for the snow globe?"

Steven waited until the girl laughed - laughter was good, right? - before ringing him up. “Hm. Just for that story, three bucks.”

"Hey, cool!" He grinned, grabbing out his wallet. "Y'know, I've got plenty more where that came from."

“Oh yeah? How many stories and how much time you got?”

Steven gave an easy shrug, “I don’t really have plans. Y’know her ex died and got resurrected out in space?”

“Really?” There was that smile again. “And how exactly did her ex die and then get ‘resurrected?’”

There was a snort from behind him, Steven startling and looking to see a younger teenager who was probably thirteen or fourteen. “Wendy, don’t encourage the crazies. That’s Stan’s job.”

With a bit of a huff, Steven grabbed out his phone. He’d find a picture of them. “He was saving these guys from getting shattered — basically killed — cause he’s human, and the shattering robonoids weren’t tracking humans. My tears brought him back to life, though,” he said, showing her a picture. “See, there’s me, and Sadie, and that’s Lars.”

“Whoa. That’s a heck of a photoshop job. He actually does look pink,” the girl - Wendy - laughed. “Dude, Dipper, you gotta check this out.”

“I get it from my mom,” Steven said, glancing to the other kid, ‘Dipper’ as he walked over, squinting at the photo and looking back up at Steven.

“So, your tears can bring people back to life, huh?” Wendy grinned, looking down to Dipper. “Still got that zombie spell?”

Steven rose an eyebrow. “Zombie spell?” Okay, he was definitely missing something here.

“It’s nothing,” Dipper waved off. “And no. Mabel blood-oathed me to never use that spell again.”

Huh. Alright then. He handed over the money, “So, when’s that tour thing? You said in a couple days.”

“Yeah, should be like three days? You’d probably enjoy it.”

“Sounds cool.” Brochure! Oh man, this was so going in his road trip scrapbook. “My girlfriend would definitely get a kick out of this place. Is any of this stuff for real?”

“Depends on who you ask.” Wendy shrugged, looking back down to her magazine. “Everything in this shop? Probably not very ‘for real.’” Aw man. That was kind of a let down.

“Well, guess I’ll be back in a few days,” he said, picking up the snow globe with a smile. Connie was gonna love it! It was just adorable!

“Make sure to bring more crazy stories! We love those here.”

“Speak for yourself,” Dipper grumbled.

“Crazy,” Steven muttered to himself as he left. “My stories aren’t crazy. I dismantled an empire, thank you very much!”

Honestly. Next time he would just call Sadie up to prove his point! Right now, though, he was kind of hungry and that small diner had looked really good.

☆

Not only had the diner looked good, but their food had been delicious, too! It was really nice to get away from everything for a while. Getting back to his room, Steven thought, considering, before finally pulling out his phone and dialing the gems. It didn’t take long before Pearl was answering, “ Steven?! Is that you! ”

Steven couldn’t help his laugh, laying down on the bed. “Hey, guys.” There was immediately more shouting in the background, Steven making out Amethyst’s voice before it was bright and clear.

“ Hey there, dude! How’s everything going on wherever you are? ”

“Everything’s pretty good right now, if a little weird. I’m all the way in Oregon right now!”

There was a struggle over the phone, and then Pearl’s voice, “ Oregon? My, that is quite a ways - although I’ve heard it’s absolutely gorgeous over there. ”

“Yeah, the forests around here are amazing. I’m gonna stay out here a little while, probably go on a hike or two. Connie’s gonna visit a college out here, then I’ll head up to Cascadia after.” He leaned over, picking up the snow globe. “Lookit this! I got it for Connie! You think she’ll like it?”

“ I think she’ll adore it, Steven, ” Pearl smiled at him. Then her smile twitched. “ Where exactly are you at right now? ”

“Some cute little town called Gravity Falls.” Pearl’s face fell and Garnet snatched the phone, looking at him seriously.

“ Steven. Be cautious. Strange things happen in Gravity Falls. ”

Huh. Well, Steven had already kinda picked up on that, but… “Garnet, I’m a half-human half-alien being that spent two years in space using my magical belly button to liberate aliens.”

Garnet was silent for a moment, finally nodding. “ True, but if you hear the name Bill Cipher then please leave as soon as you can. And I’m not saying that as a gem. ”

Normally, he would think the gems were overreacting like they always did, but… “Alright. Cipher. Fine.”

“ Thank you. ” Oh, jeez, Garnet actually slumped. “ I won’t delve too far into it, but think Yellow, except crazier, more violent, and absolutely murderous - with infinite power. ”

“...Alright, okay, fine. I’ll be careful and junk. I just wanted to update you guys and everything.” Garnet went off the screen and Amethyst was back on it.

“ Thanks for the update! We love you a bunch, dude, so make sure to call us whenever you can- Hey! It’s my turn with the phone-! ”

Pearl, this time, smiling warmly at him. “ It was great to hear from you Steven, and everyone here is safe, sound, and going about their lives. ” He smiled back at them.

“I know. I love you guys.”

They all said their goodbyes, and Steven texted Connie goodnight before plugging his phone in and rolling over. Hm, seemed like a good time if any to sleep. He had a feeling he’d need a lot of sleep for all the traveling he had ahead of him.

☆

It was official. Steven loved hiking and would never say a bad word against it. It reminded him a lot of when he trained with Jasper only greener and calmer and he was less likely to get a rock thrown at him. He took a deep breath in and held it before letting it go. The air felt so nice. He could tell there was just a hint of the sea air he was used to in Beach City, but this air somehow felt cleaner. Steven decided right then and there he was gonna hike a lot more as an Adult.

Plus the woods were so gorgeous? It was a type of forest Steven had never seen before, but it was just so beautiful. Connie would probably love at least looking around some of the forest before she had to go back. Maybe they could- Hello, that was weird. Was that a statue? Out in the middle of the woods?

Steven frowned, walking closer. Looked like… a triangle with an eye, and a top hat? Wow, that was probably the weirdest thing about this place. And he had a hand sticking out. Like he was trying to… shake someone’s hand.

Staring at the statue a good, solid moment, Steven took a step back. After all the crazy in his life, he had learned to at least try to listen to his instincts, and right now? Right now they were screaming at him to run. Steven took a few steps back, still staring at the statues. “Okay. Right. Note to self. Never touch creepy statues half-buried in a deep wood.” He wasn’t sure what he felt, but he felt… power. He needed to turn right around and leave.

Thankfully it didn’t take him long until he was well away from the area and the creepy statue that was probably evil in some way. Steven shivered, shaking himself off. Okay. He would hike in different forests. Far away from whatever the heck that thing was. He looked up and oh. He was at that Mystery Shack thing again.

That teen from yesterday - Dipper? - was out and staring right at him before blurting out a pretty loud, “Did you just come through the forest?”

“Uh…” Steven looked back at the forest. “Yeah?” He brushed himself off, “You guys know there’s some really creepy statue in there?” Oh, wow, Dipper could pale as quickly as Pearl.

“Did you touch it? Did you shake it’s hand? Tell me you didn’t shake it’s hand.” Ah, right, cool. Glad his instincts were right, then.

He shook his head. “No way. That thing was giving me way too many creepy vibes.” Turning, Steven glanced to the forest again. He didn’t use the word lightly, but… “Is that thing evil?”

“Wha- Aha, evil? I mean, pft, c’mon. A statue can’t be evil. ” Uh huh. “But, uh, just don’t touch it, okay? It’s like… a landmark. Or something.”

Steven looked at him before finally shrugging. “Trust me, I’m staying away from whatever that thing is. I know to be careful around big, powerful, evil stuff.”

“Uh… huh.” Dipper stared at him for a long moment and then narrowed his eyes. “Where’d you say you were from?”

“Oh, I’m from Beach City, over in Delmarva.”

“Wait- Beach City as in Keep Beach City Weird?” Keep- Oh! Steven would have to tell Ronaldo that there was a fan of his in Gravity Falls.

“Wow, I didn’t know that anyone outside of Beach City followed Ronaldo’s blog,” Steven chuckled goodnaturedly. “Yeah, the very same Beach City. Small world.”

“Hang on. You said your name was Steven. ” Dipper looked like he wanted to either back away or laugh. “Like… Steven Universe?”

“Oh yeah, Ronaldo put me on that blog too, huh?” Steven stuck his tongue out at that. “Yep, the one and only.”

“Oh, uh, cool. So, yeah, uh, enjoy your walk or whatever, I’m just gonna… go.” What a weird kid.

That sister of his stuck around, still sitting out on the deck. Steven smiled at her, waving before he turned and started to whistle. Guess he better make his way back to town. Beyond the weird statue thing, Gravity Falls was looking like a great place to stay.

☆

Steven was happily wandering around town when he heard the sound of a familiar portal tearing its way into existence behind him. He turned and beamed as Connie and Lion landed. “Connie!” The minute she slipped down off Lion with her backpack, he was wrapping her in a hug.

Connie was laughing and hugging him back at once, kissing at his cheek, “Miss me that much?”

He chuckled, holding tight onto her hand even when they pulled out of the hug.. “Always. Oh! Come on, I can grab that gift I bought for you!”

“You actually bought me something?” Connie beamed, letting Steven pull her along and holding back just as tightly. “What’d you get?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see! Come on, Lion. What time is your college tour at?”

“Two o’clock,” Connie said, leaning against him with a happy, soft sigh. “So, what first, Mr. Road Trip expert?”

“Well, first, we’re gonna go get your gift, then we’re gonna go to your college tour, then we’re gonna go to just the cutest diner! We can probably walk around town — don’t go walking in these woods. There’s some really creepy statue in there with a bunch of power, and it’s definitely evil.”

“Evil, huh?” Connie frowned, looking towards the woods. “Hm, okay. I’ll make sure to keep it in mind. Oh, how was that Mystery Shack place? Any good?”

“The shop is really cool. I haven’t seen much there, they said there’s a tour tomorrow though, I thought you’d really have fun with that.” He grinned, pulling her to the Jealous Grapes. “There’s also this guy there, younger than us, he follows Ronaldo’s blog! How weird is that?”

“Really? Wow. Ronaldo is gonna love hearing about that. Any idea how much the tour is going to cost?”

"Oh yeah. I guess I didn't ask." He shrugged, grinning at her as he brought her up to his room. "Okay… Close your eyes!"

“Alght, alright, I’m closing,” Connie laughed, eyes indeed shut as she gave him a smile. Steven walked over to the night stand, picking up the snow globe before bringing it over to her with a beaming smile.

“Okay. You can open.” Steven watched as Connie opened her eyes, looking to the snow globe with a confused look before bursting into laughter and jumping into Steven’s arms. "Woah- Wow! I didn't know you'd like it that much!" He laughed, easily catching her in his arms.

“It’s perfect,” Connie giggled, burrowing against him before pulling back to give him a short, sweet kiss. “I love it.”

“Well, it’s yours now,” he told her, blushing maybe a little. “So, let’s go tour that college!” Conniei laughed, finally pulling away to set the snow globe down before grabbing Steven’s hand.

“That sounds perfect.”

It didn’t take too long for them to get through the tour of the college, Connie carrying out brochures and contact numbers and still chatting about the programs as they headed back into town. He led her into the diner, still holding one hand. “Yeah, that one sounds really cool if you decide to do it. I had dinner at this place yesterday. Connie, their food is so good. ”

“High endorsement,” Connie said, hiding a laugh. “I suppose we’ll see just how impressive it is after I’m done.”

“So you’re at least narrowing down your search, right?” It seemed like Connie was looking at every college in the country. The two of them sat in a booth, Steven thanking the nice old waitress that gave them their menus.

“I’m starting to, at least,” Connie sighed, setting her brochures aside and tangling her feet with Steven’s as she opened her menu. “I don’t know… There’s a lot more choices than I thought there would be.”

He flushed a bit, glancing at her over his own menu. “Well, I hope you figure it out soon. You’ve only been studying for the last year,” Steven teased her gently.

“You hush,” Connie hugged, ducking down behind her menu to hide a grin. “What about you? How’s the traveling going so far?”

“Pretty good so far. I’m still keeping in touch with the gems, and with Dad, but it also feels pretty good to have Beach City in the rear view, you know? I’m starting to move through everything that happened.”

“That’s great to hear, Steven,” Connie said, reaching out to squeeze his hand with a soft smile. “Also, any reason why a kid would be switching booths to try and get closer to us?”

Steven frowned, sitting up a bit. “A kid? I-” Wait a minute. If this kid read stuff like Ronaldo’s blog… “Kinda short? Brown hair, with the weird wintery looking hat?”

“Yup,” Connie nodded, grin starting to widen. “You’ve only been here a day and a half, right? And you’re already getting attention?”

“He said that he read Ronaldo’s blog. Ronaldo’s mentioned me on his blog like once or twice, so I guess I’m a little bit known, ” Steven said with a roll of his eyes. “That guy was actually the one that basically told me the statue in the forest was evil.”

“Oh, so a kid who knows about weird stuff and, considering Ronaldo, you’re probably the weirdest thing in town right now.” Connie paused, lightly nudging him under the table. “Weird in a good way. A good weird.”

Steven snickered, “Gee, thanks, I guess? Does that make me famous, or something?”

“Maybe it does,” Connie laughed. “Alright, what’s good here?”

“Oh! I tried the Big American burger last night, that was pretty good. I think I’m gonna go for some Cheesy Greasy Fries, though. Those sound so good.”

“Hm… I think I’ll try the burger and then steal some of your fries as needed!”

“Wh- Mabel! ” Before Steven said anything to respond to Connie, he heard the small shout and looked over to see Dipper’s sister pulling him over to a booth. Huh. Alright, then.

“Well, guess it wouldn’t be my life if it wasn’t a little weird.”

Connie laughed, giving him a bright grin, “What’s life without a little weird, right?”

After a nice meal at the diner, Steven took Connie back to his room at the bed and breakfast. “I’m so glad you’re spending the night out here, Connie. It’s really nice out here. The air is just different, you know?”

“I get it,” Connie laughed, sitting down on the bed before collapsing backwards. Lion had parked himself on the rug in the room, stretched out with a happy face. “And of course. I’m always happy to spend the night.”

It felt natural, the two of them changing into their pajamas before they slipped into bed, Connie curling around Steven’s back. He smiled at the warmth, settling down properly. It was nice. “G’night, Connie.”

“Night, Steven,” Connie said softly, curling more around him before giving a soft little sigh that had Steven relaxing the rest of the way.

☆

It didn’t take long after waking up before Steven was dragging Connie out for breakfast, then pulling her along to the Mystery Shack. He wanted to see what this ‘tour’ thing was all about, after all! Connie was happy to follow after and point things out, making comments and future plans for both of them and it was… it was great. “Oh! Is this it?”

“Yeah, this is it. I think it’s pretty neat.” He was glad she liked it so much! But he didn’t get why those two were always hanging around this place. Maybe they knew the owner or something?

“It could definitely use a fresh coat of paint in some places.” Connie pulled him towards the entrance, looking around. “Hm. Seems a bit like a tourist trap.”

“A tourist trap? What’s that?” Sounded not good, really.

Connie paused, thinking for a moment. “It’s a place that’s typically filled with weird or fake things with overpriced gift shops to make money off tourists that are passing through.”

Steven thought it over. “Huh. Well, at least it’ll still be fun.”

“You know what? You’re right. If nothing else it’ll be an experience,” Connie laughed.

"And we're all about that, aren't we?"

They entered, and Steven grinned at the girl at the counter. "So, there a tour today?"

Wendy looked over her magazine, staring at them for a moment before grinning, “Yeah. You guys interested in hopping in, I take it?”

"Sounds fun, at least," he told her with a grin as Connie looked around. He knew she'd dig this place. And the twins were inside again- Huh. The sister — Mabel — had a rainbow sticker on her cheek. That was cute! He smiled and waved at them.

Mabel waved back enthusiastically, Dipper giving him a suspicious look, and, alright. Probably thought he was some type of threat somehow. No big deal, Steven would just prove he was here to visit and have a nice time. In fact… Steven walked over, still smiling as he put his hand out. "I don't think I properly introduced myself before. Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe."

Mabel was squealing and jumping forward at once, shaking his hand eagerly, “Your name is so great! Hi! I’m Mabel and this is my twin brother Dipper. We’re Pineses and our Grunkles own the place.”

Steven tilted his head. "Your Grunkles?" Alright, that was a new one he'd never heard of.

“Great Uncles-”

“Hang on,” Dipper cut in. “ Diamond? Like… the Diamonds from the blog?”

Steven immediately winced, scratching at the back of my head. "Yeah… Best way to explain it is they're basically my aunts. Mom's side."

“Ooh, what’s Diamond mean?” Mabel looked between them, grinning widely. “Sounds sparkly. ”

"Oh, my mom, she was Pink Diamond — a matriarch of the Gem Empire back on Homeworld." He lifted his shirt to show her his gem. "She and I can't both exist, so she passed her gem on to me."

Dipper just stared at him while Mabel only gave him a soft smile, “Sorry to hear about your mom, but at least you’re here, right?”

Aw… Aw, and he could tell she was being genuine, and that was so sweet! "Thanks," he told her with a smile.

Connie was at his side, holding up her watch- Her watch? "If my count is right, that took thirty-seven seconds."

“Thirty-seven seconds?” Steven blinked at Connie and what was that supposed to mean?

"From the moment of introduction to the moment of friendship," Connie told him with a grin. "Lapis was right, you are getting rusty."1

Mabel gav a bright laugh, beaming at them both. “I like you two! Are you staying here long?”

"Not for long," Connie said with a shake of her head. "I was just checking out a college nearby."

"I'm just staying a few more days. I'm trying to see all thirty-nine states right now."

“Ooh, a road trip!”

“The college nearby? I’ve heard good things about that,” Dipper chimed in. “My uncle might know more. Which program were you looking at?”

"Well, I'm probably looking at a political science major, but this one was interesting with that supernatural degree program, so I might double minor in that and sociology if I decide in this school."

“Really?” Huh. It might’ve taken even less time for Connie to make friends with Dipper. Steven must’ve been rubbing off on her. “You should talk to my uncle, he’s all about that kind of stuff.”

"Hm. I might just take you up on that." She smiled, holding her hand out. "Connie Maheswaran. The idiot with the gem is my boyfriend."

"Hey," Steven said with a frown, which immediately fell away when Connie gave him that sweet smile of hers.

“Nice to meet you,” Dipper said, shaking her hand. “You guys really want to go on the tour, though? It’s kind of lame.”

"It sounds like it could be funny if nothing else," Connie said with a shrug. "I'm on spring break, and I'm ahead enough on my school work I can slack off a couple days."

“Your guys’ loss,” Dipper shrugged. “There should be a tour starting in ten minutes or something?”

Steven turned to Connie with a smile, opening his mouth to speak before… he heard the radio. He gently moved her to the side, walking closer and listening. " ...I can take a stand. I can make an effort, if I only understand that I… I can make a change. "

No way. "She stole my song?!" That was definitely Sadie- She stole his song! Why did she steal his song?!

“Steven Universe, huh?” Wendy grinned down at him. “Song started with her saying it was cover and then doing a shout out to a Steven Universe who originally created the song. Looks like you were telling the truth, dude.”

"That's my song I sang in the middle of the big climactic injector battle- Hang on," he huffed, stepping away and pulling up his phone, dialing and holding it to his ear. "Dad?"

“ Hey, kiddo! What’s up? How are things going? ”

"Why am I just now hearing Sadie on the radio with my song? It's great and everything, her voice is perfect, but what in the stars?! "

“ Your- Oh! Oh. ” His dad’s voice went from understanding to regretful and why regretful. “ So, uh, hey, Schtu-ball, there might have been something I forget to ask you. ”

" Dad! That was my emotional self-realization near-death-experience song with Spinel!"

“ So should I have Sadie pull it from the set? ”

" No don't have her pull it from the set, did you hear how great she makes it sound? It perfectly fits her new vibe with Shep!"

There was a laugh over the phone, Greg saying a soft, “ Okay. If it ever happens again I’ll be sure to check in with you first, though. Sorry for not telling you sooner, kiddo. ”

"You're still in big trouble, Mister. Give Shep and Sadie my love, though."

“ You know I will. Talk to you soon, Steven. ”

"Bye Dad," Steven sighed, rolling his eyes to Connie with a smile. "Love you." He hung up the phone, looking back at her. "He forgot."

Connie laughed, shaking her head with a grin, “Of course he forgot. She really does sound good, though.”

"Right? Gosh, she's amazing. She deserves, like, everything. "

Connie smiled at him, grabbing his hand. “Alright, alright, enough gushing. We have a tour to get through, after all.”

Once their 'tour' started, Steven immediately had his camera out. "Aw, Connie, lookit this! Perfect scrapbookortunity!"

There was a loud, loud gasp, Steven looking over to where Mabel was beaming. “You use scrapbookortunity, too?” Oh- Oh! Someone else who got it!

Steven beamed at her. "I thought I was the only one!" Someone else that used his word!

“I thought I was the only one,” Mabel squealed, jumping forward and taking out her phone. “Scapbookortunity for new friends!”

“ Aw! ” Steven grinned, posing for her picture. It was the most adorable thing! As soon as the picture was over, Steven watched Dipper walk over to Connie.

“You have one too, huh?”

Connie snorted, “ Oh yeah.” She was looking at one of the ‘monsters’ in a plastic case. “So, I’d bet anything that for every three fake things in here, one thing is real.”

“Something like that,” Dipper smirked, giving a shrug. “Guess you’ll just have to take the tour and find out.”

Steven turned to the counter. “So, how much for a tour for two?”

Wendy hummed, looking at the ceiling for a moment and then grinning. “Twenty for both of you.”

“Cool!” Steven dug through his wallet, pulling out a twenty and handing it over to her.

Wendy stashed it in the cash register and then raised her voice, “Yo, Soos! Got two kids for a tour, here!”

Steven frowned at that, looking down at himself. “I’m seventeen.”

Wendy shrugged, raising her voice again, “Soos! Correction, you get a couple teens to show around!” Connie giggled at his side, but it wasn’t funny! He’d looked like he was eight for six years! He was finally grown! He deserved to at least be acknowledged as a teenager!

“Coming!” Barely seconds later and a man was sliding into the room, looking at him and Connie before sighing in… relief? “You two here for the tour?”

“Yeah, totally,” Steven said with a grin, wrapping his arm around Connie’s.

“Great! Then follow Mr. Mystery - that’s me - right this way and let’s get this tour started! Be warned, though, everything that you’re about to see has the complete possibility of being real. ” The complete possibility? So some of it wasn’t real? That was kind of a let down.

Steven didn’t have too much to be disappointed about, though, because even if some of it was fake a lot of it did look really neat. Plus Steven loved hearing Connie’s little mutters and giggles and explanations on things. “You know,” Steven said with a laugh, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “We were right. Even if none of it’s real, it’s still pretty fun.”

“I wouldn’t say none of it is real,” Connie mused, taking a picture of one of the items. “But you’re right, this is fun.”

“Hey, what’s this thing?” Whatever it was, it looked broken. Why would they put something in one of the cases and show it off if it was broken? “Memory Gun?”

“That’s the infamous memory gun! One shot of it and your entire memory can be erased!” Oh, wow. That seemed dangerous - and reminded him of the Rejuvenator. “We keep it here in honor of the great Stan Pines and the sacrifice he made for all of Gravity Falls.”

“Jeez, Soos,” a man huffed behind them, causing Steven to spin around and summon his shield- Oh. Human. Letting his shield disappear, he smiled nervously at the others who were now staring at him. The older man, for his part, seemed to stare before looking to Soos, “Stop ending with that story. It’s weird. If you got to do it at least put up a donation jar or something.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Pines, sir!” Steven frowned, looking back at the Memory Gun.

“...Sacrifice?”

“Don’t worry about it, kid.” Uh huh. “What you should be worrying about is visiting our wonderful gift shop!”

“Uh… I already have. Thanks.” Alright. Kinda weird. Wait a minute. Another set of twins? Jeez. Was it just really common in this area or something? Maybe it was a family thing?

“Stan! Did you find the cause of these levels?” Stan’s probable twin asked, staring down at something in his hands.

“Oh yeah,” he snorted, nodding and still looking at Steven. “Definitely found it.” What was that supposed to mean?

Before he could ask the other man was coming over, the device in his hands beeping before he was looking at Steven, “Hm, I haven’t seen levels like this since Weirdmaggaden.”

Connie stepped in front of Steven, her arms crossed. “Can we help you, sir?”

“Oh, yes. I’m a scientist who studies beings who give off ‘weird’ energy and, according to my readings, your companion is giving off enough readings to register quite high on the scale.” Connie didn’t say anything, but she drummed her fingers against her arm. Why was she so upset? Steven didn’t get it. He thought she liked scientists!

“Uh… ‘weird energy?’”

“Oh, yes! It all pertains to the Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness, something I discovered quite some time ago, now.” Uh… huh?

Steven blinked, shaking his head. “The Theory of what now?” Oh man… This sounded a lot more like Connie’s kind of department.

“Excuse me,” Connie said, narrowing her eyes further. “I’ve never heard anything about a ‘Theory of Grand Unified Weirdness.’”

"'Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness,'" he corrected, looking proud. "It's unlikely you would, my dear. It's my own theory. Gravity Falls is an epicenter for weird happenings, of course. Weird always attracts weird," he said, holding up a hand- Woah. Six fingers. That was cool.

“Alright, but all I’m hearing right now is that you’re accusing my boyfriend of being… weird, which, alright, he is a little, but not, like, scientifically- Well.”

“But he is!” He showed them some machine with some needle thing like in those ghost hunter shows, and the closer it got to Steven, the more haywire it got. Cool. Maybe?

Stan stood behind him, rolling his eyes. “He was dropped on his head as a kid.”

“Makes sense,” Connie muttered, staring at the device. “So it detects… ‘weirdness’? In what way? What qualifies as weird?”

“Well, a good blanket starting point would be to say anything considered supernatural or otherworldly. Anything that is not a common human experience.”

“Oh. Is that all?” Connie looked to Steven with a small grin, and, yeah, he guessed it would go off around him in that case. “Okay. That’s fine, then.”

Steven grinned, shrugging. “Yeah, easiest way to put it is I’m half-alien.” The others all stared at him, Dipper the first one to speak.

“So that explains it.”

“Yep, that’s Mom’s side,” he sighed. “It’s… really complicated,” Steven finally settled on, taking a picture of one of the displays.

“He’s harmless, though,” Connie said, leaning over to look at the picture Steven had taken. “Oh, that’s a good one.”

“Wha- Harmless?! I dismantled a malevolent dictatorship, thank you very much!”

“Mhm. Of course.” Connie distracted him by giving him a soft kiss to the cheek, and, alright, it was hard to even pretend to be upset when she did that.

The tour, unfortunately, didn’t last much longer after that, and Steven and Connie were stepping outside to enjoy a bit of the sun before Connie had to head back home. It was nice, though, to be able to go on cute dates and stuff with her without worrying about the gems, or parents hanging around.

“This was actually really fun,” Connie sighed softly, leaning into his side with a soft hum. “Today was wonderful, Steven.”

“Aw, well, jeez, you know. You’re always worth it,” he told her, squeezing her hand. He glanced over to the twins walking with them, then he felt Connie’s hand slip out of his? She was pulling away? What the- He turned towards her to ask what was wrong.

Connie was surrounded by weird little things trying to pull her away, Connie looking weirded out before she was reaching for her sword, “Alright, just what do you think you’re doing?!”

They were immediately backing away. “Woah! That’s a- That’s a pretty sharp sword you got there!”

Mabel was the one to step forward. “ What are you guys doing?! We’ve talked about this!”

“Where… were you hiding that?” Dipper asked Connie hesitantly.

“Under my shirt, of course,” Connie rolled her eyes. “It’s not as if I can just carry it around in public.” Steven watched Mabel shout at the little… things before Connie looked at her. “Don’t worry. I think my method is a lot more… effective,” she said, brandishing her sword before she started to swing it. She wasn’t even hitting them, but it was definitely enough to scare them.

It was barely a few minutes before they were all scampering off, Dipper giving a laugh, “More effective than anything else we’ve tried. Sorry about them. They’re… really dumb.”

“What were they even doing? What did they want? ”

“A queen,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “They usually go after Mabel when they’re here, though.”

“A… queen.”

Connie laughed. “Wow. I almost feel flattered!”

Before they could continue their conversation, Steven’s pocket was beeping… “Oh jeez,” he sighed. “‘Scuse me, I gotta take this,” he said, stepping away and pulling out his phone. “Hey guys, what’s up?”

“ Steven! We were told you were going on a ‘road trip’ and we wanted to check in with you! ”

“Oh. Who told you?” Whoops, that sounded rude. “I mean, yeah. Everything’s going great. I’m actually across the country from Beach City, right now,” he laughed a bit.

“ We just wanted to make sure everything was going well and you were having fun, ” Blue said softly, smiling. “ It’s good to hear you laugh, as well. ”

Steven grinned at them, “Aw, jeez, Blue…” They were really making an effort, and he really appreciated it. “Yeah, it’s really nice to be exploring what else Earth has to offer, you know? I never really realized it when I was a kid, but there’s a whole world outside of Beach City!”

“ Of course there is, ” Yellow laughed. “And we’re happy to show you around other planets if you ever want to extend your trip to outside your own world. ”

“I know. But for right now, I’m fine staying a little closer to home. Thanks for checking in, though.”

“Of course. We’ll call again soon. Take care, Steven, and stay safe.”

Steven grinned at them. “I will. Thanks, guys. I love you.”

The call ended with a loud, “ We love you too! ” It really was kind of sweet of them to check on him - even if he was still trying to figure out how they even knew about the trip.

Putting his Communicator away, he turned around, walking back over to them. “Hey. Sorry about that. Family, y’know?”

“Oh, definitely,” Mabel nodded, Dipper only staring at Steven for a long moment before shaking his head.

“Still better than Bill, I guess.”

Steven flinched, just stopping himself from throwing a shield up. “Bill… who?” Dipper froze, staring at him for a long moment.

“Just… someone who we had to deal with last summer. A real jerk that we finally took care of.” Uh huh. Except Steven could feel Dipper’s fear at just mentioning the name.

Connie was frowning at him, tilting her head. “Steven?”

“Took care of… So like… Not a problem anymore? At all? Whatsoever?”

This time it was Mable and Dipper to share a look, Mabel finally looking back with a teasing grin, “Just don’t go shaking any hands of stone statues in the forest and we’re all good!”

“Oh stars,” he murmured quietly. Alright. Maybe Garnet had had a point. Who knew there were places like Beach City? But… Not just like Beach City. That thing had been evil.

“Steven?” Connie gave him a small nudge, voice quiet. “You okay?”

“Garnet… mentioned something about all that,” he told her. “Said if I heard the name to run the other way.”

“Oh. That’s, uh… that’s probably not good.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, shaking his head. “Come on, Lion should probably be taking you home. Isn’t there some time difference something or something?”

“Something like that,” Connie laughed, squeezing Steven’s hand. “Fine, fine, I should be getting home. We still on for that weekend I’m going to spend with you at the end of the month?”

“Of course we are,” Steven told her, pulling her in for a tight hug, and kissing her cheek as Lion stood, drawing attention to himself.

“ You have a pink lion?!”

Steven looked at Mabel, laughing. “Inherited.”

“He’s so cute and fluffy! ” Mabel squealed, reaching a hand out towards Lion. “Here, kitty kitty.” Lion looked over, blinking at her lazily before yawning and stretching himself out. Mabel, undeterred, only cooed as Connie laughed.

Connie climbed up onto Lion, Steven walking over and petting his mane, laying his head against Lion’s. “Hey, bud.”

Lion gave a happy rumbling noise, pushing against Steven and near knocking him over. “Lion misses you the most,” Connie chuckled.

“Aw, I miss you too, buddy.” Steven reached up, squeezing Connie’s hand. “Tell your parents I said hi.”

“Of course,” Connie smiled, squeezing his hand back. “See you soon, Steven.”

"Love you," he told her, Lion running around the small clearing before roaring out a portal, the two of them traveling through.

“Aw,” Mabel whined, frowning heavily. “I forgot to take a picture of your lion.”

"Oh, that's alright. I've got tons of pictures of Lion. I can send them to you, if you want," he told her with a grin. "If you're okay with me having your number."

“Of course!” Mabel was holding out her phone at once with a wide grin. “Be prepared, though, because I send my friends bunches of pictures!”

"Aw, shoot, I love pictures!" Steven input himself as a contact. "If things were a little less weird out here, I'd consider this as more of a permanent thing. I'm going cross country, trying to see everywhere before I decide where to settle down."

“Huh. That sounds kind of cool,” Dipper said, looking at him for a moment before handing his phone over to Steven as well. “This way I can send you any weird stuff Ronaldo might like.”

"Oh, sure- I don't talk to him all that much, but I can get the message passed on. There was this incident a couple years ago where he tried to be a Crystal Gem…" It still made him cringe to think about.

“I think I know just enough to know that’s bad,” Dipper snorted, shaking his head. “How much longer are you here?”

"Probably a couple days. I'm planning on heading up to Cascadia after this. You ever been?"

“No, but I’ve been wanting to go.” Dipper took his phone back, Steven feeling his own phone buzz a moment later. “Feel free to send Mabel pictures, though. She loves pictures of anything, basically.”

"So, you're into otherworldly stuff, right?" Steven grinned, sending him a few pictures of his intergalactic travels.

Dipper looked down at his phone, eyes widening before Steven saw him starting to save every picture sent. “So, if you want to send me more pictures, that’s cool too.” Steven laughed.

"Yeah, there are perks to having aunts like mine." Some of those perks involved pictures from space.

“Hey! If you’re staying a few days then we should hang out some more!” Mabel beamed, near bouncing. “We can show you all the cool stuff in Gravity Falls!”

"Okay… Cool stuff like what?" he asked, looking between the two of them. Hopefully they had similar ideas of cool.

“I mean, you already saw the gnomes, but I promise there’s way cooler things that won’t try to kidnap your girlfriend.”

Steven laughed. “Yeah, she’s all the way in Delmarva by now, I hope they don’t try to kidnap her.”

“Wait- That lion managed to teleport them all the way to Delmarva? ” Dipper stared, shaking his head. “That is… wow.”

“Yeah. He’s teleported us to my mom’s base up on the Moon.”

“ He’s able to go to the moon and take you with?! ”

Mabel groaned, looking up as if giving up on life. “Great, now you made Dipper go into his crazy conspiracy mode.”

Okay… But Steven got to have a little fun. “Yeah. And you haven’t even seen inside his mane.”

“What… What’s inside his mane?” Okay, yeah, this road trip had definitely been a great idea.

Snorting, Steven stuck his hands in his jacket as he followed them. “Just a pocket dimension full of pink grass, some stuff my mom left behind, and two trees representing him and a human I accidentally resurrected when I was fourteen.”

He counted five seconds before he had a twin on either side and almost hanging off of him, Mabel asking loudly about the pink grass and trees and Dipper almost yelling, “You brought back someone from the dead?! ”

Steven couldn’t help but to smirk. “I told you so.”

“You- But- I didn’t- You gotta tell us everything. ”

✩

It was a week and a half before Steven was finally ready to leave Gravity Falls - although it had been a fun week and a half. Dipper and Mabel had been fun to hang around, and learning about Gravity Falls had been fun in it’s own way - weird, but fun.

“Thanks for everything,” he told them, drawing Mabel into a hug. “This is all totally going in my road trip scrapbook.”

“It had better!” Mabel hugged him back just as tightly. “And I hope you find what you’re looking for on your road trip.”

“Yeah, so do I.” Once Mabel let go of him, he smiled at Dipper. “Come on.”

“I mean, we can just fist bump, or whatever,” Dipper muttered, Steven keeping his arms open before Dipper was sighing and moving to hug him.

“Sorry. I’m a hugger.” He hugged Dipper extra tightly. He was a good kid. Just had to stop using his big brain so much of the time.

“You and Mabel both,” Dipper complained, hugging him back after a long moment. “Make sure to text us every now and then.”

“I will. I promise. I’ll even make sure to text you guys if I run into anything else ‘weird.’” Which, if their uncle was right, he would. Weird definitely attracted weird.

“We’ll send you pictures too!” Mabel beamed, darting in to give him one last hug. “And don’t worry so much.”

He smiled, hugging her back. “Thanks. Being out here actually really helped me realize something about myself.”

“Really?” Mabel beamed, pulling back to look up at him. “What was it?”

“For as strange and messed up as my life might be… It could always be a heck of a lot worse.” The both of them burst into laughter, and, yeah. This had been a good idea. "I better head out. I'm supposed to meet up with Lars soon."

“Have fun!”

“Try to find stuff not as weird so you can actually relax.”

Smiling, Steven waved at them, walking back to his car. Time to put Gravity Falls in his rearview, and start a new journey.

#Steven Universe #Gravity Falls #Steven Universe Future #Road Trip AU #Here I Am And I Stand So Tall #story 5-10k #rp story

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detectivejigsawpines · 5 years ago

Text

ORN-Part 2 (Reaching Out)

Trigger warning: reference to suicide (very brief).

Ford stared at the phone, still clutched in his hand, in astonishment.

The mystery caller who had spent years (somehow following his trail from Backupsmore all the way to Gravity Falls, no less) contacting him, only to hang up without speaking, had finally said something.

And even though the words he’d spoken were in Spanish, which Ford had never learned (why bother when Latin and Ancient Greek were available?), the voice sounded very familiar, which was the tiniest bit reassuring for some reason.

Unfortunately, even though Spanish was derived from Latin because it was a Romance language, he was stumped as to what those words had actually meant.

Ford realized with a growl of frustration that it was late, and the town library (which was probably the best place he could go to get them translated) was therefore closed.

It would certainly be nice, he mused to himself, if there was a way to readily find information from the comfort of your own home in situations like this.

The next day he put aside his research on the weirdness of Gravity Falls, which was hitting a bit of a roadblock anyway, and headed straight for the library. He was eventually able to locate a good Spanish-to-English dictionary and start reading through it.

It would have made things easier if he’d been able to actually see the words the mystery caller had spoken, and how they were spelled, but he was able to make a few educated guesses. About ten minutes later Ford wrote out what he thought was the correct translation in his journal, under his entry on the silent phone calls-and at once his pen fell from his suddenly nerveless fingers.

Lo siento, hermano.

I’m sorry, brother.

********

There was only one person in the world who it could possibly be. Well, technically there were two, but only one of them would have a good reason to say that to him.

Slowly it sank in that his mystery caller was the one person he never expected to hear from again, and that he had just told Ford the one thing he never expected to hear from him.

He noticed that his hand was actually shaking a little, and his stomach churning with multiple emotions.

Frustratingly, until or unless Stanley called him back, there was nothing he could do to reconnect with him, because last he’d heard from Mom, Stan didn’t have a phone number.

He went home and spent the rest of the day shooting anxious (or alternatively baleful) glances at the phone as he tried to go through his normal routine, torn between willing it to ring so he could get some answers, and kind of hoping that it wouldn’t. And then feeling horrified and disgusted with himself for the latter because what if that message had been some kind of final goodbye? Like maybe Stan was planning to never contact him again, or was about to-

No, he couldn’t think like that. Stan was incredibly fond of life, he’d never-

But there was no way he could be sure of that, was there? There were probably lots of suicide cases (just thinking the words made him cringe) where the...victim was one of the last people you’d expect to do something like that.

But come on, even if Stan did feel guilty about what he’d done all that long ago, which he apparently did, surely he wouldn’t feel bad enough to do that. Even if Ford could hold onto old hurts for so many years, that didn’t mean Stan would-

By the time his phone finally rang again, nearly two whole days later, Ford was a bundle of frayed nerves.

Hurriedly he snatched it up and practically yelled into the receiver, “Hello, this is Stanford Pines!”

There was another silence at the other end of the line. After a second it occurred to Ford that there was a chance it was someone else entirely, like maybe his mother or a telemarketer (the only other people who called on a regular basis), and he had just frightened them by shrieking into the phone. He cleared his throat awkwardly, and said in a more civilized tone, “...Um, hello? Sorry about that.”

There was no reply, but whoever it was hadn’t hung up yet; he could faintly hear what sounded like a car driving by on the other end of the line. Ford swallowed and decided to take the plunge.

“Stanley? Is that you?”

This time there was a small gasp, one that sounded familiar now that he was looking for it.

“Don’t hang up!” Ford said quickly, just in case.

Another pause...and then a (maybe more gravelly than he remembered, but still recognizable) voice said softly, “...Hey, Sixer.”

There were a hundred things that Ford wanted to say. And ask. And yell. And probably curse.

He chose to go with, “How did you get my number?”

“Mom,” Stan replied simply.

Ah. Of course. She had brought up Stanley a few times, telling him how his brother was doing even when he insisted he didn’t care and didn’t want to hear it. It sounded like she’d been trying to persuade Stan to reach out to him too.

He chewed his lip, searching for more words.

“I, um-was waiting for you to call back sooner.”

“Sorry. I got...caught up.” More cars were in the background; was he next to a road?

Another pause.

“...What did you want?” Stan finally asked.

“You’re the one who called me, Stanley.”

“Oh. Right.” An awkward cough. “Guess I just...wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Is there a reason why I wouldn’t be?” Ford asked, still trying to process that. That meant that all those phone calls were his brother’s own unique way of checking up on him?

“I dunno. Besides the fact that you suck at taking care of yourself.” A half-hearted laugh, probably accompanied by him sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck; he tended to do that when he was uncomfortable.

He was hiding something. Stan was a much better liar than Ford nine and a half times out of ten, but he could tell he was hiding something. All he said in return, though, was, “Listen to the pot calling the kettle black.”

More awkward laughter from both of them.

Oh geez, they were actually doing small talk. That felt so wrong; neither of them had ever needed to do small talk with each other. The alternative, however, was to rip the bandage off the wound that he had to admit to himself had never actually healed, and he didn’t know what would happen if he did that. Most likely Stan would hang up again and this would be the last conversation they’d ever have. And while the more self-righteous part of him said that was fine by him, he didn’t need anybody either, the rest of him was frantically whisper-screaming for that to not happen, please please please no-

“So you’re doing okay? Mom says you got a house. And a research grant.”

Ford shook his head, bringing himself back into the moment. “Yes. It’s in Oregon.”

“Whoa. You got all the way away from Jersey.”

Ford’s jaw clenched a tiny bit. “Yeah.”

“Good job.”

“...Thanks.”

And then, out of the blue, he said, “You should come visit.”

“Just take some time off-” Mom told him once while he was in college that Stan had started a sales business of some kind, maybe he was still doing that, and surely it wouldn’t be hard to take a break- “and drive up and see it. It’s a nice town, very interesting, has all kinds of unique phenomena.” Ford realized that he was starting to babble and shut his mouth.

A longer silence lasted between them, long enough for him to ask, “Stan? You still there?”

“I’m here.” To his surprise, Stan sounded...apprehensive. Afraid, even. Something Stan never was, except perhaps in situations regarding Pa.

“I-I don’t-you’re probably real busy doing important science stuff, I don’t wanna bother you.”

“You wouldn’t,” Ford insisted. “I’m...kind of in a roadblock in my research, actually. Maybe it would do me good to take some time off.”

“You don’t need me for that.” Somehow the resignation that entered his brother’s voice now hurt worse than the fear had.

“Just think about it.” Even though before today the idea of inviting his estranged twin to come visit him would have been the last thing on his mind, suddenly Ford very much wanted it to happen.

Maybe it was the fact that Stan had been sort of reaching out to him for almost five years now, even if he’d never actually spoken to him. Maybe it was because he’d said he was sorry, even if it was in another language.

Maybe it was lingering fear and not wanting to never hear from him again, as ridiculously sentimental as that probably was.

“...Maybe,” Stan finally said. “S’not like I’m that busy right now.”

Ford exhaled, trying to think of a way to be more persuasive without being pushy.

“Do you need my address?” Seconds later he wanted to kick himself; too eager, that was way too eager.

“Nah, I got it written down somewhere.”

“618 Gopher Road,” Ford said anyway.

“Yeah, that sounds right.” Stan swallowed again, loudly. “I, um, I gotta go. These calls aren’t cheap.”

Then all that was left was the dial tone buzzing in Ford’s ear.

#Gravity Falls #flipside AU #stan pines #ford pines #young stan and ford #knuckleheads reconnecting #phone conversation

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exponentialdisasters · 5 years ago

Text

[Quest One: The Challenge of Newcomers]

[WORD COUNT: 5,935]

She jolted awake. Something was wrong. She knew that without even taking a first breath. She had- fallen asleep on her bed, correct?

Then why was she jolting and whirling in time with the rumble of an engine?

Paz rubbed her eyes, noticing after the action that her- her hands... They were so much... Pudgier, if that made any sense. Paz nearly jumped back. Her back was up against something... Leather. She finally took a moment to examine her surroundings.

The blazing-hot brown leather was attached to a seat... At the very back of a bus. A few other people were on the bus- mostly folks with big bags of luggage that Paz could probably carry if she used both hands. A sun hung outside, flickering in and out of the bus between thick pine trees.

“..... Hmmnnn?-!” A boy was sitting beside her. He looked... Maybe twelve, with a lean build that evidenced much running and physical dexterity. “Wh- but I-?? What???” Paz glanced to him. He felt.... Familiar.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was even, trying to hide her own surprise and terror. “Last I knew, I was.. Well, I fell asleep in my bed.” Paz breathed in gently, trying to focus on the air moving in and out of her body. The bus was blazingly hot.

“I-... That’s what happened to me.” Paz’s eyes shot to the boy. He was semi-tall for his age, with a slightly buzzy set of short brown hair. His gray eyes burned with... Something... Too similar. Too close.

“.... But if one of us is dreaming, we should be lucid dreaming, which means we should have control over the environment... And last I checked, my dreams never involved hopping into another... Person.” Paz gestured to her hands. She could not see herself, but she had a guess. The boy stared, eyes locked into the midway with imagination churning. Paz gave pause.

“..... It isn’t me. Are you dreaming?” Paz exhaled, before whacking her arm- quite suddenly and harshly- against the seat side in front of the two. The pain that burst like a firecracker from the injury was message enough. She hadn’t woken up cradling her arm, in her bed.

“No.” The boy was eerily calm about this- perhaps he was a construct, and Paz was still sleeping... It would be far-fetched, but she had suffered some decently real dreams before. “..... I’m Oberon.” He held out his hand, although his eyes betrayed his real emotion. Paz would recognize- that-... Oh.... No...

“.... I- Oberon?- Smith?” The boy blinked, shifting back in his bus seat.- It was the very back seat, so it spanned the length of the bus’ width.

“.... Yes? How did you kno….” He stopped, mouth still open in a silent ‘o’. Paz held out one hand, letting her pointer and pinky go up while her thumb extended out. Oberon matched the sign. “..... P-... Paz?”

“..... But you’re a-?!” The two stopped, each staring at the other. They had both spoken at once. There was no way this child was Oberon. No. Way.- He was at least two feet shorter than her sibling!... But everything else was scarily alike. Burning gray eyes, dirty brown hair, peach skin that was nearly a light level of unhealthy pale, even the bags from college life... It was all there.

The boy wore a red zip-up hoodie, currently unzipped to allow for better air. An orange shirt was tearing its color into Paz’s retinas, leading down to a set of plaid shorts. The colors were caught between red and orange, giving them the sense of fire. He also had on a pair of red tennis shoes, covering up (almost entirely) a pair of black socks. A necklace hung from his neck. On it rested a symbol- infinity divided by zero.

“.... I....” The boy- Oberon?- reached out a hand, letting his smaller and more fatty digits run against her arm. Paz blinked, pushing the offending thing off.

“...… Are- are you really Oberon?”

“Well I can’t exactly prove it to you. If you’re not Paz, then you won’t know our stuff, but if I’m not Oberon, I won’t know our history.” Paz exhaled for a moment. Think of something... Something only Oberon would know. Something that she, as Paz, would be the only living soul to ever know.

“..... Pi. List it out, as far as you can.”

“.... 3.1415926535897...…. 9...” Paz felt a small syringe of relief push into her veins. Her heart was still attempting suicide, beating so fast in panic that it could be mistaken for a car engine.

“You are- Oberon?” Paz shuffled closer. Oberon didn’t move away. The two siblings stared at each other in silence.

“Last stop, Gravity Falls!”

That yell broke the two from their shocked silence. They somehow... Sensed... Like a pull, or a tug... That they needed to be leaving the bus. Oberon stooped down under the seat, tugging out a small dark green suitcase. Paz glanced underneath where she was sat, noticing a similar suitcase. The only difference between the two was that one was covered in pictures of eyes and artist quotes, while the other had forms of puzzles and math equations.

“... My luggage?..” Paz murmured. She drifted from her seat, nearly floating down the aisle in a realm of confusion far removed from the moment. Her brother was easily behind her, having less trouble carrying his suitcase than she was. Paz grunted as she pulled the accursed item to the front. She dragged it down the steps, letting the green object hit nearly every step on the way off. “... Thank you, sir.”

Paz waved to the bus driver. The man blinked, his eyes unfocused and twitchy. Oberon hopped off. The doors squealed closed. A loud rumble filled the air as the bus began moving once more, engine churning and burning through diesel like there was no tomorrow. Paz could see her reflection in the windows.

She... Looked like Oberon. Not- not twenty-three year old him, but.. The boy next to her. She had similar dirty brown hair, although hers was a little more straightened than his. Her skin was just as pale, eyes an ember of flaming gray. Unlike him, she wore a gray collared shirt and navy pants, with black shoes that had some white marking on them. Looking down, she noticed what it was. The square root of negative one.

Paz sneezed. She covered her nose, but it was already too late. Oberon sneezed a few seconds after her. The two- now twins- spent a few seconds sneezing and coughing, expelling the offending dust from their lungs. After waving off the equivalent of a wall, Paz’s eyes finally cut through enough of the mist.

“Mystery Shack”. She knew that sign. She knew it... But didn’t know it. The sign was so painfully familiar, and she was sure she should have recognized it...

“... ‘Mystery Shack’?” Paz’s own voice- she could finally figure out what was wrong with it. It was higher. More feminine. Far more than she had heard in many a year.

“..... It... I guess we should go there.” Oberon exhaled. “Not like we know what else to do. Maybe they have a phone or something, and we can- no... The parents... Won’t recognize us like this.” The idea was shot down before he could even speak of it. Paz took less than a moment to pick up on what it had been.

“I guess we just go to the Mystery Shack for now, and we’ll figure it out from there.” Paz’s words were more confident than she felt. She knew her brother could see right through her tough-girl façade- he had been able to for a long time. Still. She couldn’t lose face.

“Can you say ‘tourist trap’?” Oberon’s hopeful humor managed a short laugh from Paz. Focus on that. Not on this situation. Not now.

“Nope, physically incapable.” She began pulling the suitcase over the dirt road.

“Suuuuuuureeeee….”

{<>}

“So you’re the great niece and great nephew, huh?” Paz... Was confused. She had- just knocked- on the door. “Well, I’m your great uncle Stan!” She knew him. Paz could barely remember anyone outside of her immediate family- so perhaps he was family? It was possible, since looking at him stirred up long-awaited emotions from her gut. Mistrust, but care. Concern, but joy. Annoyance was also buried deep in the edges.

“... I- I guess?” Paz cast an eye to her brother. Oberon shrugged his shoulders. The man before them was easily in his forties, if not his fifties or sixties. He had a massive set of stubble that ran up to short, gray hair hidden by a red fez. A sort of golden fish symbol was inscribed into it, alongside a hanging black tail. She couldn’t recall what it was called, but it reminded her of the- ahhhh tassel! A suit- fresh pressed and clean- covered most of his body. He had on a pair of cleaned dress shoes, and was leaning on a golden cane to match. Two mischevious, twinkling brown eyes looked the twins over.

“Well, welcome to the Mystery Shack! You guys will be staying in the attic because I can’t be bothered to find a decent room.” The man waved his hand to the side with a grin. His glasses reflected the blazing sunlight. The fact that he barely bothered to do anything-... It was annoying. It made sense though. She knew it did. A part of her wanted to laugh, while another wanted to slap him and explain manners.

“..... Thanks?” Paz tried, tilting her head to the side. “Grunkle Stan?” The phrase was foreign but familiar, all at once. The man blinked. Oberon grinned just slightly, nodding his head.

“Yeah- Grunkle Stan! That’s your name.” He chuckled, smile alight in his eyes. Grunkle Stan rolled one of his shoulders.

“Whatever kids. Just make sure you don’t stop the profits, got it?” He pointed his cane at the two, eyes narrowed to beady slits. Paz and Oberon nodded in perfect sync with one another. “.... Creepy...” Grunkle Stan shuddered, moving back inside. Paz and Oberon followed him.

The ‘gift shop’ (as labeled outside of the worn-down wooden shack) was very much in the realm of tourism. If there was a joke to be made about the words ‘Mystery Shack’ or about mysteries in general, it was there. Everything was sold on racks, shelves, and even circle-racks. Shirts, snow globes, ‘crystal shards’... That looked like shards of glass... It was all there.

“Now head up to your room, I have more tourists to rip off.” Grunkle Stan shoved the two towards the ‘Employee Only’ door, beyond a register from which Paz noticed a ‘no refunds’ sign. Grunkle Stan managed to shove the two through the door with one hand after opening it with his other. Paz and Oberon tumbled over one another, nearly smacking into the floor before they managed to right themselves.

By the time they did, the door had been slammed closed by Stan. They could easily hear him on the other side, now using a perfect salesman voice.

“.... Race you up the stairs.” Paz grinned.

“I won’t race you, but-!” And she was already gone. Oberon yelped.

“HEY!” And he took off, laughing all the while. The two sped across the living-room like area, tearing over the rug and crashing their suitcases into the miniature step-stair that was at the open doorway. Paz instantly turned left, avoiding the entry to the kitchen and instead leaping onto the stairs. She pulled her suitcase up, finding her upper strength lacking just enough to make the task difficult.

“Crap crap crap!” She giggled. Oberon tore off, overtaking his sister with ease. Despite being in a twelve-year old body, the boy was still strong as ever. Oberon made it to the door, nearly crashing into it. He turned the knob, and the two siblings fell into the attic with peals of laughter. Paz was instantly on the floor, sucking in air from the short but fast outburst.

The two snickered and laughed on, taking a solid minute to let their actual laughter die down anywhere near enough to speak.

“Okay- o-okay!” Paz chuckled. “You won. But I so wasn’t racing!” The girl smirked. Oberon rolled his eyes, clapping his hands together for a moment.

“Sure, Paz, sure. Anything to save your ‘fragile’ ego.” Paz and Oberon were silent for a moment. And then.... They broke down into even bigger fits of laughter.

{<>}

“.... I really don’t wanna hang in the cabin if Grunkle Stan’s going to be busy with tourists....” Paz muttered as she placed a small stuffed animal that looked... Just like her own... On her ‘bed’. The scruffy-looking dragon stared back at Paz with an empty, soulless gaze.

“We could just explore outside.” Oberon pointed out. He folded some of his clothes, having checked his suitcase to see what all was packed. There was little variety, almost none honestly.

“Yes, but what if that makes Grunkle Stan’s profits go down?”

“We’ll just check out the woods.-” A knock at the attic door interrupted any further thought. Oberon and Paz glanced to one another, each nodding and receiving a nod in return.

“Come in!” Paz internally laughed. She could not believe they had just successfully spoken at the same time!

Grunkle Stan knocked the door to the side, his smile now a soft frown. He pulled a set of signs out from under his armpit, holding them out to Oberon. They were all faded gold in color, with red lettering that read ‘Mystery Shack This Way!’.

“Oberon, stick these up in the woods so I can get more customers.” Paz quirked an eyebrow. She remembered the woods. Well, ‘remember’ wasn’t the right word. It was as if... She knew there was something out there. Something fun, but dangerous. Exciting, like a new kind of donut or update to a game.

“Can I help him?” They were planning to explore- or at least have fun. This technically counted. Grunkle Stan huffed, before waving his cane absently.

“Yeah. Go- just- do whatever it is you kids do.” His mouth crinkled to the left, a half-smirk half-frown. His large nose was pulled up slightly into his face. Paz nodded. A jar of nails and a hammer were placed in her open hands.

“Thanks Grunkle Stan!” Paz smiled, her eyes closing for a moment to form one of those strange internet facial expressions. Grunkle Stan shuddered, turning around.

“Don’t ever do that again.” He marched out of the room. Just as the two thought the coast was clear, they were pulled from their ruminations by their Grunkle opening the door once more. “.... Also I bought too many ice popsicles, so.... There are extras downstairs.” And he vanished once more.

“I say popsicles after we work. You?” Paz glanced to Oberon. He nodded.

“That’s what I was thinking.” Paz tiptoed to the door, opening it all the way with the softest creak she could manage. She snuck her way down the stairs, hearing Grunkle Stan having fun with customers- sorry, ‘tourists’- in the main lobby. She motioned to the kitchen. Oberon seemed to get the idea. They slid across the wooden flooring, shoes thankfully not causing too many loud squeaking noises.

They made it all the way to the door in the kitchen- it was white, surrounded by dirty white counters with wooden cupboards. Paz touched the handle, turning it... And the thing let out a squeal loud enough to wake the dead. She flinched, going even slower. The noise only got louder.

Oberon was shaking his head. Paz turned the handle quick as a whip, snapping the door open and racing out with her hammer and nails. Oberon was hot on her heels, closing the door as fast as humanely possible. The two dashed for the tree line, slowing only when they vanished into the shadows underneath the pines.

Paz stopped, turning her head to look at Oberon.

“Where should... We set up... The first one?”

“I’m thinking near the trail- probably close enough to see the cabin?” Oberon’s suggestion was met with a compliant nod.

{<>}

“.... Do you think we’ll ever get back?” Oberon’s question was whispered in the silence of their walk. The two were just... Meandering. Never too far from the beaten path, but enough to feel alone.

“.... I dunno, bro.” Paz raised her hands, interlocking them behind her head and leaning just slightly back. “I’m trying not to think about it.” Truth be told, the very idea sent shivers down her spine. She found her heart picking up, breathing trying to deepen as terror began to lock around her soul. “I just hope we get back. For now, we’re stuck in children’s bodies.” She cast her brother a silent eye.

“.... That’s true, but.” Oberon’s swinging arms lessened in their swing, albeit slightly. “We have things to do- work, college, Monday night gatherings.... We can’t just abandon all that.”

“Look.” Paz stopped walking, pulling her hands apart to cross her arms before her chest. “As far as I can tell, we’re kids. We can’t exactly change that fact.- For some reason that guy at the shack- Grunkle Stan- thinks we’re his great niece and nephew, and we woke up on the bus with our previous memories intact. Whether this is a fever dream or something entirely different, I don’t know. What I do know is that I can’t afford to think about it right now. I don’t want the parents to worry- and I know you don’t either- but we have no way of consoling them, especially in the bodies of children.”

“.... We still need to find a way back.” Oberon’s persistence was faintly annoying Paz. She knew that annoyance was a wall. She could not afford this conversation much more thought.

“Bro...” Paz breathed out, lowering her head and letting one hand catch it while her eyes closed. One foot extended, pressing into the grass to keep her balance. “.... I’m just as freaked as you are, and I know we’ll have to look for a solution... But if we spend every second doing that, we’ll burn ourselves out. Can we just... Drop the topic?... It’s freaking me out... I’m sorry, but... I can’t... I can’t think about it, okay?”

Oberon frowned. Nonetheless, he dropped the subject from discussion. Paz exhaled, trying to find something else to focus on. She noticed a tree that was in the middle of a clearing. She hummed, changing her path to head towards it. Oberon easily followed suit, the two stopping only when they were just before it. Paz leaned on the tree.

“How many bets I can eat this?” She pointed to the bark, a smirk resting on her face. Oberon hummed. He scratched his chin, ‘deep in thought’. In this moment, he took the time to hop aboard a fallen tree log that Paz had not previously noticed.

“..... None. I’ll eat it.”

“Oh pl-” Paz wrapped her pointer’s knuckle against the ‘bark’. It produced a hollow... Clanking noise. Paz spun, eyes now flashing all over the tree’s trunk. She found a frankly rigid root sticking out near the base. “Lever?”

“I don’t think ‘plever’ is a word.” Oberon’s joy at Paz’s groan was palpable. She still stooped down and plunged her hands into the strangely loose dirt. Paz pulled up. Her feet pushed into the ground before the darn lever- probably stuck from years of disuse- finally creaked up.

“Hey! It opened a hatch over here!” Oberon leaped off of his position atop the fallen tree. He landed on the other side. Paz snapped forth, using momentum to slam into the tree and propel herself over it. Oberon was looking down into the depths of a small square opening in the ground. His hands were fidgeting, blacks of his eyes shrunk down to pinpricks. “... I.... But is-...?” His eyes found Paz. His mouth moved silently.

Paz stepped up, sitting down on her knees to see what was in the square opening.

She froze in place.

A leather-bound book, with a six-fingered golden hand glued on the front. A letter ‘three’ emblazoned the thing, burning bright against the dingy red book’s background. The space had a few spider webs on every side, trying to encroach on the slowly-eroding book.

Paz reached in. Her mind was blank. She needed that book. They needed that book. It- it was important. She couldn’t even figure out why- just that it was. Her hands were wrapped around the book’s casing. The book was out of the hole. Her brother was just as silent as she.

“.... Jour-...” Oberon went silent for a moment. “..... Journal Three....?” Paz tried to speak. Her mouth moved, but no words exited her lips.

“.... I-... Y-... What?...” The words were gone. What had her brother said.... What had she said? The two stared at the book in silence. This object... It was important. But WHY was it important? Why did they care? It was just a book- one among a billion.

Paz flipped the thing open. She skimmed through the pages for a moment, eyebrows creasing down with each additional page.

“TRUST NO ONE.” Paz’s eyes froze on that page. Oberon breathed in sharply behind her.

The book was snapped closed.

“We need to get out of here.” Something swished by nearby. Oberon and Paz took off running.

{<>}

The burning rage of the sun was nullified. Paz took another lick of her popsicle. She kept one eye out the strange red-tinted window. The window itself had a strange pattern- a triangle with an eye in the center. Paz knew there were eyes on her. Eyes she couldn’t see. Either that or she was paranoid.

Hopefully the eyes thing.

There were small creatures outside. They looked almost like lawn gnomes, stealing into the garbage cans of the shack and snacking on what they could. Paz passively took another lick of her popsicle.

“.. Bro, look outside and tell me what you see....” Paz tried to keep her voice calm. It came out flimsy and half-dead.

“.... I- see tiny men?...” Oberon put the Journal down, staring outside for a few moments before snatching the journal up again. “Tiny men- tiny men- gnomes!” Oberon turned the Journal around, showing the page to Paz. She speedily read the entry, noting the ‘steal sacrifice for queen’ and ‘nibbling’. So... More dangerous than racoons, but basically sentient racoons.

“.... We should probably get rid of them.” That was all that needed to be said. Paz and Oberon silently got up from the small couch-cut out in the wall, sneaking out of the cabin for the second time that day. Paz managed to smash her foot into the fallen leafblower when she got outside.

“Holysonova…” The gnomes that had been sneaking portions of food from the garbage all stared at the two newcomers. They had abandoned their food. Paz noticed that... Their eyes... Were all on her.

“.... Queeeeeen….” She heard that whisper. It sent a chill down her spine. “.... Queeeen…” There it was again. Two gnomes had murmured it. “.... Queen....” It was getting louder. Oberon took a step forward, moving Paz aside.

“No.”

“Queen!” The gnomes all leapt forward. Oberon was buried under a pile of gnomes.

“HEY!-” Paz attempted to punch the crap out of them, smashing projectile gnomes to the ground left and right. The darn things just attacked faster. She found herself being overwhelmed far too quickly for her liking. Ropes were tied taught over her arms, locking her down as more gnomes piled on. “-MMMPH!!!!”

“LEAVE. HER. ALONE!!!” There was a noise- several gnomes grunted in pain after wind. Tiny hands smacked against Paz’s back and legs. She tried to move, but the ropes were everywhere now. Her brother shouted something again, but his voice was already faint. Paz tried to struggle, but to no avail.

“Queen! Queen!”

“OVER MY DEAD BODY TINY DEMONS!”

{<>}

Oberon’s fists clenched. He was bruised and scratched, one arm suffering a fair number of bites from the tiny monsters that attacked him and his sister. He could just barely hear the far-off voice of her screaming at the gnomes in anger. Oberon stomped back to the shack, his eyes latching on to a cart nearby. He couldn’t outrun the gnomes when there were that many... But if he had the cart....

Oberon marched over. He went to step inside, only to remember something crucial. Keys.

“Hey, takin’ the cart for a joyride?” He was stopped by a red-haired teenager in a flannel jacket. She had freckles and long jeans, stopped only by a set of army boots. Some strange Russian-style hat rested on her head. “Knock yourself out!” She tossed Oberon the keys before he could reply.

“Thank you!” He jammed the keys into the ignition faster than light. He was pleasantly surprised to find that he was at least tall enough to reach the gas and break pedal, as well as the steering wheel. Oberon shoved the cart into drive. He gunned the engine.

“Dude, wait!” He was stopped again. This time, a pudgy man with a muddy-green t-shirt had stopped him. He was at least five feet tall, if not six. The slight stubble on his face hinted to his age, and the hat on his head was blank. A pair of khaki shorts coated his waist, and two brown loafers protected his feet. “In case of werewolves!” He held out a shovel.

Oberon blinked. He took the item. He needed to get out of here- to save his sister!- And another item was held out to him.

“In case of piñatas.” It... Was a bat. Oberon took the bat. The man stepped back. “Good luck dude!”

“... Thanks?” And he smashed the gas into the floor. Oberon followed the screams of his sister, one hand wrapping tighter and tighter around the shovel’s handle. The scenery blurred and swirled together the faster he went. The cart nearly toppled over as he found it swiveling down a mountainside. Oberon narrowed his eyes.

His sister was in danger.

Everything became a blur after that, racing across the mountains of Gravity Falls with the rumble of the cart. He followed his sister’s annoyed yells, easily recognizing the voice. Several minutes of tracking in this order led him to a strange section of the woods.

The cart suddenly slid down into a hidden cavern. Oberon yelped, slamming his foot into the brake. The cart screeched to a stop, only to unveil a very... Distressing scene.

Paz was roped down to the ground, still struggling profusely against her bonds. Several gnomes were trying to keep her down. Their pointy hats wavered with each of her escape attempts. The surrounding cave system was filled to the brim with mushrooms, glimmering little flies, and glittery green moss. Gnomes were absolutely EVERYWHERE.

The lead gnome- presumably- glanced Oberon’s way. He then smiled and spun to fully face the newcomer. He had a brown beard, and sparkling blue eyes that were half-obscured by a pointy red hat.

“Hi! I’m Jeff, have you come for the wedding ceremony?” The gnome had a standard gnome outfit- overalls and a t-shirt of sorts. His tiny shoes looked very breakable.

Oberon’s brain stopped.

“The what.”

“The wedding ceremony! You see, we’re making this lovely girl here our queen!” Jeff beamed. Oberon’s mouth dropped open. One eye twitched. “She’ll be marrying all 1,000 of us, isn’t that just awesome?”

Jeff was plastered against a mushroom before he could utter another syllable. A number of gnomes were sent flying into the rock walls with a single leaping swipe. Another slash of metal freed Paz.

“GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU CREEPS!” Paz and Oberon were hand-in-hand within seconds. Paz leaped up, chasing her brother as he led them to the cart. The cart’s reverse was activated the moment their butts hit the cushions.

A gnome launched at them. A wooden bat slapped it away with ferocious accuracy.

“GET AWAY YOU FRICKS!!!” Oberon spun the cart around. The two slashed into the sunlight. The sun was beginning to dim. Paz was smacking away a few gnomes that dared to follow them. “..... Hol- BRO SPEED UP!!!” Oberon didn’t dare look back. He gripped the shovel- which he still had yet to let go of- tighter.

Paz yelped. She smashed into the cart’s seat. Wood flew. Several gnomes tore into the roof. More gnomes cried out as they were smashed away.

“WATCH OUT!” Paz’s scream snapped Oberon out of his adrenaline-fueled stupor. A tree was crashing down ahead. He pulled the steering wheel harshly to the right. The cart left the ground.

Paz and Oberon screamed in unison.

The cart- amazingly- bounced off the ground. It landed on the next fall. Oberon thought his teeth were going to smash clear into his skull. The gas pedal was nailed into the floor. The cart’s engine squealed.

“SO CYCLOPS-!” A gnome’s yelp interrupted her.

“SCHMEBULOCK!!!!” One gnome went tumbling by. Oberon tried to focus more on the road. A gnome’s body appeared out of nowhere on his arm. It bit down. He cried out. The gnome’s skull collided with wood.

“LEAVE MY BRO ALONE!”

He could see the shack. It was just out of sight. A sign of familiarity and home. Oberon cut through the tree line. The cart careened over sticks and stones. The materials kicked up and back. Some hideous, malformed roar followed him. Oberon knew his heart had never beat this fast in his life. The cart’s wheels caught on something.

Oberon and Paz went soaring. They crashed into the ground. Oberon bit on dirt. It coated his tongue. Brittle and harsh. Paz landed beside him, the bat now resting on her head. Oberon knew the shovel had landed on top of his legs. They would be bruised in the morning, easily.

He growled. That same ungodly roar echoed him. He stood up slowly. The shovel became a support. It held him upright. He glared down the strange beast that had followed them through the woods.

It was a giant gnome... Made of gnomes. Had he not been fearful for his life, the sight would have been amazing. Oberon tugged the shovel upwards. He brandished it, glaring down the pointy monstrosity. It was easily twenty feet tall, made of beings that were barely two.

“You’re not touching her.” Paz’s hand gently tugged his sleeve. She was glancing every few seconds to the leaf blower from earlier. She had scratches all up and down her face, and one gash at her cheek.

“I’ll marry you.” Paz’s words completely froze Oberon’s brain. He tried to fit it all together.- Leaf blower, gnome monster... It was so... Unique. But it was there. A niggling idea. A thought that nuzzled only to run away.

“R- really? You will?- Oh this is great- guys let me get down there!” The summer sun was opposing the shack, sending a bloody red glare over the gnome monstrosity. “Sorry Carl- is that a growth Steve- move aside, Paul!” The leg opened up, gnomes parting to reveal the leader from earlier- Jeff. Oberon silently glared at the accursed gnome, trying with everything in him not to gnash his teeth.

“Of course.” Paz extended her hand gently. She took a step to the side, kneeling so that she could be at the gnome’s height- or at least closer to it. Jeff pulled out a box from his back, opening it to reveal a gold ring encrusted with green gems. Paz extended one finger. Jeff slipped the ring on.

“I-!” Paz cast him a look. She was planning something. Oberon finally put it together. Paz’s free arm- her left- extended back. It flipped the switch to the leaf blower. The engine roared to life. Paz sprung back, hands clasping the instrument and targeting Jeff instantly.

Jeff was sucked in.

His form slipped up the mouth of the leaf blower, until only his face and cap remained.

“Guess what.” Paz smirked down to the gnome as he yelped in pain. “.... I ain’t that kind of girl.” Paz swung the reverse back to normal. The leaf blower was tilted up. Jeff shot like a rocket. He crashed into the giant gnome-construct, exploding it on impact. Gnomes rained from the sky, yelping and scurrying around in a blind panic.

Paz slid over to Oberon with a laugh. It was airy, filled with terror and adrenaline.

“I am so surprised that worked.” The gnomes began fleeing for the trees. “SEE YA’LL ON YOUR GRAVES!” Several screamed in panic. Paz snickered, her grin mischievous and dark. “Okay, that was fu-”

“You’ll never stop us all!” Jeff tried to command. He had a large bruise that was quickly swelling on his cheek. “We’ll come back in bigger numbers-!”

The leaf blower swung his way, and Jeff went tumbling to the tree line.

“Can’t hear you over the sounds of yoUR DESTRUCTION!” Paz laughed openly, shaking her head at the gnomes as they raced away in a blind sprint. She came down from the laughing high the instant the gnomes were gone, a few giggles escaping her. “.... Return of the googly eye~...” Paz hit the off switch.

“.... You’re still crazy.” Oberon smiled faintly. He felt so tired- all the running and screaming was a real drain.

“And you’re still male, what else is new?” Paz moved, crossing the short distance between them to rest her elbow on his arm. “.... Holy...” She staggered, as if just then being smacked with the energy differential. “.... We should probably... Sleep soon.” Oberon chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah.” Paz opened her arms, dropping the leaf blower to face her brother.

“.... Hug?”

“... Yeah.” The two siblings gently embraced one another. It was stiff and awkward on Paz’s end, but Oberon embraced her warmly.

“Love you, bro..”

“Love you too, Paz.”

{<>}

“Wow, you two look wrecked!” Grunkle Stan grinned, pausing only when he noticed how bedraggled the two truly were. Paz honestly felt like she was about to drop through the floor. She kept her head at a decent level. Paz and Oberon trudged by Grunkle Stan.

Of course the old coot was counting money. Based on his earlier conversations, it made sense.

“... Hey kids!” The two stopped. If it was another task, Paz wasn’t sure she would be happy. Already ne eyebrow was twitching down at the very concept of another chore today. “... Wouldn’t you know it, I overstocked the gift shop- why don’t you two take a lil’ something?” Paz slowly let her body turn on a dime, eyes half-dead and set on the old man.

He shrugged, closing his eyes as he somehow continued counting money.

“Look- just take something before I regret it.” Paz didn’t need to be told twice. She silently trekked through the gift shop, eyes half-hazed from exhaustion. Her fingers wrapped around the cold metal of an item. It seemed almost like a gun, but there was no way Grunkle Stan would have a gun in his shop, right?

Paz let her eyes focus blearily. Resting in her hands was-....

Something familiar.

Something unique.

Something that tugged at her mind.

But why, she had no idea.

“... You sure you don’t want something else? There are plenty of dolls for girls in the shop.”

“...…. No. It needs to be this.”

She couldn’t explain it.

It made no sense.

But she knew it was necessary....

.... One day....

#chapter one #[logic cat: paz]#[excited dog: oberon]#[Gravity Falls: Exponential Disasters]#long chapter holy crap-#some chapters will be super short and some will be long apparently #so uh fair warning XD

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amigolupus · 6 years ago

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“Who Are You?”

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Characters: Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines

Words: 992

Summary: One of Ford’s greatest fears had just come to pass, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

A/N: I wrote this in response to this art piece by @lazy--stars, which you should totally check out. It really captures Ford’s creeping horror.

“Uh...hey there..pal. Any idea where we are?”

Ford froze in his tracks, unable to believe his ears. “Stanley...?”

"Stanley? Is that my name? Weird, thought it might be something else...” Stanley frowned, looking as if the thought had only just occurred to him. “Anyway, who are you?”

Ford tried taking a deep breath. And another. It didn’t help.

His heart beating a mile a minute, Ford tried again. “Stanley, it’s me, Stanford, your...your brother.”

Stan guffawed, light and carefree. “You’re called Stan too? Yeesh, I guess creativity didn’t run in our family, huh?”

Ford wanted to say something about how Stan was plenty creative. How he made a living spinning stories and crafting colorful monsters with his twisted mind. What came out was, “If this is some form of a...a joke, then it’s not funny!”

Stan flinched and raised up both hands. “Whoa, okay, no insulting the family, I get it. Now just calm down or something.”

“No, Stan, that’s not what I meant! Don’t...don’t you remember? Anything at all?”

“Uh...Remember what?”

And there it was. The words Ford had been dreading to hear. Ford leaned on the wall for support, but his legs were so shaky that he slid down onto the floor. Not even the biting winds of the frozen wastelands of Dimension H-9;5 could match the cold feeling spreading throughout Ford right now.

“Uh, Stanford...? You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Ford cursed himself. How could this have happened? Had there been signs of a potential memory loss that Ford had missed? Worse, could he have even done anything to prevent this had he known? Or was he just doomed to lose his brother all over again.

And the children, he remembered with stark horror. What was he going to say to them? How would Mabel and Dipper react when they find out that Stan no longer remembered them? It was like he was transported back to that forest clearing, listening helplessly as his niece called out for a Grunkle who was no longer there.

“Hey, Earth to Stanford!”

Ford looked up, his train of thought broken. Stan had sat down beside him so they were sitting shoulder to shoulder. Ford mentally kicked himself. He’d been so focused on his own fears that he didn’t think to comfort Stan. He had even raised his voice at him, for crying out loud!

“Stanley, I...”

“Hey, it’s okay. Whatever this is, it’s gonna be fine.”

Ford laughed weakly. “I should be saying that to you.” Ford felt a surge of fondness for his brother. Trust Stan to be there to comfort others when he was the one who needed it the most.

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who looks like you’re one step away from a heart attack.”

Ford frowned. He wasn’t looking that badly...was he?

“Look, what I’m trying to get at here is that I may not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even I can put two and two together. That I lost all me memories, and this ain’t exactly an everyday occurrence.”

“You’re not stupid, Stanley. You’re brilliant!” Ford insisted in a firm voice.

“Not sure why you’re focusing on that,” Stan rolled his eyes. “Point is, I only lost my memories. Can’t you just, you know, help me remember?”

“Wh-What do you mean?” Ford asked, not quite daring to raise his hopes up just yet.

“When you sat down looking all mopey, it’s like I got these flashes go off in my mind. Like this,” Stan held up a closed fist and then quickly spread his fingers while making a whooshing noise. “Even got a buncha feeling in my gut, you know?”

Stanford sucked in a breath, suddenly not feeling so cold anymore. “That...that sounds like good news, indeed.”

“Yeah, well, I got this feeling that you don’t make the best decisions when you’re upset like this. I think you had some nacho chips and it didn’t agree with you? Hey, that made me remember something!” Stanley’s bright expression quickly turned to a scowl as he rubbed his stomach. “Ugh, now I just remembered not to eat Mexican food when you’re stuck sleeping in a car.”

“Seriously? That’s what you just remembered?” After the stress and fear he had felt earlier, Ford couldn’t help but collapse into a laughing fit.

Stan chuckled. “Yeah, yuk it up, Ford. You weren’t the one regretting that particular life decision.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Ford leaned back against the wall, feeling lighter now. The fear and worry was still there, but at least now he could think and move. And most importantly, be there for Stanley. He finally said the words that he should have mentioned earlier. “Everything’s going to be alright, Stanley. I’m here for you.”

“Well, duh, Poindexter, even I know you’ve got my back,” Stan grinned and punched Ford’s shoulder.

“Why don’t we go to the bunk? I can fetch the photo albums and we can start from there.” Ford made to stand up, but Stan’s hand quickly held onto Ford’s own and kept him in place.

Stan’s gaze was glued to their hands, more importantly, to their fingers. Ford could practically see Stan mentally counting their fingers and noticing the extra digit on Ford’s hand. Had it been anyone else, Ford might have felt old insecurities flare up. But even without his memories, Ford trusted Stan on that matter.

“Forget about the photo albums for now. Why don’t you start telling me about this?” Stan held up Ford’s hand, his expression alight with excitement. “This is so cool! I thought you’d be the nerdy twin, but here you go being the cooler one, Sixer!”

Stanford smiled as he remembered a younger boy who had been just as accepting of his six fingers.

“Stanley, please, we both know we’re both the cool ones in this family.”

“Heh, I guess we are, huh?”

Yes, the two of them would be alright.

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfiction #stanford pines #stanley pines #ford pines #stan pines #grunkle ford #grunkle stan #sea grunks #stangst #amnesiac stan #lazy-stars #amigo writes

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sirkkasnow · 5 years ago

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11 When Opportunity Knocks, Answer

Ao3 link

07/20/13 Saturday

Activity around the Shack kicked into overdrive through the next few days. Mabel scheduled her slumber party for Saturday evening, cackling in delight all the while as she took over the shared attic room for a thorough redecoration.

Dipper accepted his exile to the upstairs study with at least a little grace - he set up his laptop and and settled in for hours of journal work and game planning. The abortive DD&MD session was definitely back on for sometime early the following week.

Stan found himself pulled in too many directions at once. He squeezed in one more full day with Ford up at McGucket’s place working on the Fairlane, trying half in vain to dampen their more harebrained schemes. Apparently letting those two share the same space for any length of time resulted in exponential nerdery, or whatever the hell it meant when you got nerdery squared - he wasn’t sure but they made each other worse.

Soos sidled up to him early the following morning. “Hey, Mr. Pines, business is awesome! We’re in great shape to host the dance next week! Here’s the thing, though, I’m really close to having the new Dreaming Denizens darklight exhibit done.” He clasped hands together in anticipatory delight. “We could do a grand opening that night but I can’t find time between tours to work on the critters. Can you maybe help out for a day or so?”

So he’d had to leave the two lunatics unsupervised while he assembled a batch of fierce, hissing, taxidermied flying minks. There was no way to turn down Soos or an opportunity to upsell the dance tickets.

He cornered Ford for a lecture before Tate swung by to pick him up, something like that thing had better still be street legal when I get up there or so help me. Ford made a bunch of almost-certainly-hollow promises that they’d respect the sanctity of Clary’s mom’s precious vintage touring vehicle and that was that.

Stan put the whole thing out of his head for most of the day, focused on patching together the little monsters they’d need for the exhibit, and was washing up in the kitchen when he heard Clary’s level voice spike in surprise.

He stuck his head out into the hallway and found her by the side door, staring in disbelief at her phone. Ford’s voice was just audible on the speaker. " - sure you still want to keep the old paint color? This is a fine opportunity to change it if you'd like!"

She had a hand pressed to one side of her face, fingertips pushing in hard at the temple. "Ford, that was mint-condition factory-original paint when I got here. Arcadian Blue. What happened to the rest of it? You were just supposed to fix the hood!"

"Well, Fiddleford and I thought we'd rechrome everything while we had the opportunity, since we had the windshield out. Then we saw a chance to improve the safety features while we were at it - did you know cars of this vintage are practically death traps? I'll have to take it up with Stanley - " A distant, hollow boom sounded on the phone. Clary's visible eye squeezed tightly closed. "Whoops! I'll get back to you shortly!"

The line went dead.

Clary slumped against the wall for several seconds. “I have made a terrible mistake.”

He bit his lip and patted her shoulder warily. “I’ll, uh. I’ll give him a call an’ make sure they behave themselves. It won’t end up any more of a death trap than it was when y’got here.”

She laughed at that, the same ragged laugh he’d heard when the piston blew up in the first place, then looked up to him with a pinched smile. “You sure you mean that? I get the impression that those two can get a bit out of hand.”

Stan ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. About that. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve taken a day off, but we’re so close to havin’ the new display done...I’ll get up there an’ have it all under control before things get too weird.”

“Promise?”

“Trust me, sweetheart.”

She laughed at that, too, just a little cynical pfft, but her eyes softened in a way he very much liked and she hooked her index finger into his for a fleeting clasp. “I trust you,” Clary murmured. He damned near bent to kiss her right there before the racket of Dipper coming down the stairs set him rocking back two steps and clearing his throat.

Dipper paused before he made the left turn to the outside door, looking them over in scandalized confusion. Clary just smiled. “Good luck with the winged weasels, Stan. See you for dinner.”

By Saturday morning there was a menu tacked to the fridge. Clary’s tidy angular script promised things like ‘baking powder biscuits with honey butter’, ‘brown sugar bourbon baked beans’ and ‘deviled egg red potato salad’. She’d been running all over town with her little borrowed pickup to line up supplies.

At this point Stan was pretty sure anticipation might kill him if the stress of getting everything done on time and keeping the Fairlane project on track didn’t get him first.

He managed to swing by the manor to check on the station wagon - still blue, thank mercy, the hood now snapped back into its original shape and the cracked windshield replaced. Ford showed off the GPS they’d installed and McGucket chattered endlessly about the new frictionless coating they’d applied to the engine cylinders. Half of it went right over Stan’s head and at length he waved hands in frustration. “Just tell me it’s gonna run as well as it did before she got here!”

“Oh, much better!” they replied in tandem.

Stan stopped dead, squinted at their innocent faces in profound suspicion and groaned. “Y’know what. I don’t have time t’ double-check all this right now, you both know that, and so I’m leavin’ it to your tender care. I swear if anythin’ you two do harms a hair on her head, there’ll be hell t’pay. Got it?”

McGucket blinked in rheumy surprise. Ford had that faint thoughtful look Stan was getting really tired of, but he nodded in agreement. “You have my solemn word, nothing but some very minor improvements to safety features and performance. It’ll be more than safe enough to trust the kids in.”

“Fine. Fine. You’re both gonna sit down an’ explain everythin’ before she leaves, though.”

“Of course!” Ford’s most reassuring smile was in full force. Stan didn’t trust it for a second, but it would have to do for now.

There were a few more errands to run as the long afternoon wound down. Stan tacked up posters for ‘Mr. Mystery’s July Jamboree!’ around town as he went. By the time he finally pulled into Greasy’s he’d relaxed, humming an absent tune as he headed in to hang one last poster and pick up a coffee.

“Hey, Susan,” he called as he parked at the counter, swinging a look around the joint and its collection of regulars in for an early dinner. He was the center of attention, because of course he was and no one in this burg was any good at being subtle about it.

“Oh, Stan! It’s so nice to see you, sweetie,” she said in her usual tone of cheerful obliviousness. “How’s it been going this week? I hear the party’s going to be quite the thing!” Susan poured him a cup of familiar potent black sludge. “That tourist lady of yours has been through a couple of times. She’s really nice for an out-of-towner, good tipper and all. Was in the other day for breakfast, you know, wearing your jacket. Went pink as a petunia when I asked her about ya!” Her laugh was surprisingly sweet and she tugged her slack eyelid up, then down. “Wink!”

Stan busied himself with dumping too much sugar into his coffee. “Yeah, I mean, she’s all right I guess. Pretty good company for a hoity-toity type.”

“She came in yesterday asking about supplies.” Susan set her elbow on the counter and leaned in, conspiratorial. “Said she was gonna do a picnic at the Shack next Friday right before your big event.” Her voice dropped to a stage whisper. “Why, she asked if I could bake a couple cherry pies for her! What’re you up to, Stan?”

“Well. Y’know. An exclusive little gatherin’.” Stan settled himself, sat back and sipped slowly for effect. “Just friends an’ family.”

“I’m surprised she’s stuck around this long, nice city girl like that.” Blubs anchored the end of the counter, Durland seated one stool over and working his way through a ham-on-rye. “She has to have seen everything Gravity Falls has to offer by now. The Shack, the mall, the museum, the bottom of the lake….” Both of them chuckled over that one. “Maybe she should just hang up a shingle out there. We could use a lawyer.”

“Well, Stan could use a lawyer,” said Durland to a general rumble of laughter.

“You guys trashed her car, right?” came from one of the far corners. “That weird brother of yours made the brakes cut out or something so now she’s stuck here getting it fixed? We all know you’re too cheap to actually send it up to Portland.”

A prickle of annoyance nudged at the back of his eyeballs. “We offered and she decided she liked my face enough t’let us do the work. Should be done in a couple days. She’s just hangin’ around for the dance party.”

“Oh, I’m sure she likes ya, sugar.” Susan hid a giggle behind one hand.

Blubs tugged down his shades for a direct glance. “You did fish her out of the drink.”

Manly Dan scoffed from the far side of his mountain of meatloaf. “Stan Pines hasn’t managed to keep a lady around for more’n a couple days in all the years he’s been here. I’ll believe it when I see it!”

Stan slugged back a swallow of bitter, bitter coffee in an effort to not spout off, then did it anyway. “What, y’think we kidnapped her or somethin’? She’s here because she wants t’be!”

“Now calm down, all of ya.” Susan looked around the murmuring diner in reproach. “She’s been nothing but sweet to everyone in town. I’m sure it’s gonna be a real nice picnic.”

“Excuse me!” Mayor Cutebiker’s skinny arm went up from a few booths down. “Is that going to be included in the party ticket price? I need to know when I should show up!”

“What?” Stan’s shoulders twitched in surprise. “No, no, the party thing’s only for the dance, people.”

Dan bared teeth in one of his terrifying smiles. “I’d pay just to meet the woman willing to put up with Pines for three weeks.”

“What’s she serving, Stan?”

“Are you two going to dance?”

The whole place got the wrong idea in about three seconds. Stan could barely get a word in edgewise as conversation erupted, people pestering him about prices, about the new exhibit, about who’d be hosting the party that night.

Something snapped in the back of his brain.

“ALL RIGHT,” Stan roared, and the chattering crowd quieted in anticipation. “Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once: Miz Merrick’s willin’ to make a very limited number of tickets for dinner available. Eighty-five a head. That’ll get you into the dance party and the Dreamin’ Denizens exhibit, too. This is a one-time engagement, folks, the lady’s a class act an’ I’ve seen the menu. It’s gonna be an event for the ages.”

He zeroed in on the nearest pretty face, hit her dead on with the full-headlights smile and the finger-guns, and was gratified to see her half-swoon against her companion. “Whaddaya say? First come, first serve!”

Fistfuls of money appeared as if by magic. Stan leaned over to whisper to Susan. “Sweetheart, lend me that ticket book, would’ja?” Starry-eyed, she handed over both the book and her pencil stub, and he started scribbling out tickets for Clary Merrick’s Chicken Picnic! on two-part carbonless guest checks as fast as he could.

Half an hour later he was driving back up towards the Shack. Almost eighteen hundred bucks was jammed into his back pocket along with a stack of IOUs. He was already puzzling out where to beg, borrow or steal enough chairs and tables to accommodate a crowd this large, and wondering just how much fried chicken Greasy’s could crank out on like four days’ notice.

He was also figuring out how the hell to survive through the end of the day, because Clary was going to kill him.

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The whole diner erupts in excited conversation, and everyone in here has got the wrong idea. They want to come to Clary’s picnic! And they’re willing to pay for the privilege!

Absolutely not!

Talk up the dance instead.

Sell tickets!

#Gravity Falls #gfdatingsim #DDtMMW #Swooning Over Stans #Stanley Pines #OClicious #fanfic

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