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#take my Bullshit Poetry
queen-mabs-revenge · 9 months
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ok but one of the joys of good omens: putting your favorite historical figure in the 'other tags to include' field on ao3 for funsies
#good omens#this post inspired by my having a lot of heartbreaking thoughts about keats lately#(he's in rome from 31 oct till his death on 23 feb so he's often on my mind in the winter)#and then wondering what if the ineffables were at the dinner where shelley was being That Atheist#ohhhhhhmg come on the hilaRITY#sdkfjsfdfs the whole dinner being a conversation about god's existence and shelley being obnoxious about it#and baiting v devout haydon about whether shakespeare believed in god or not#that's soooo the two idiots in a tiff over smth and crowley egging shelley on to fuck with aziraphale#(not that he needed much egging - oh peebs)#aziraphale in a spite parry miracles haydon the inspiration for 'christ's entry into jerusalem'#keats watching the interplay and kind of half-repulsed/half-enamored by shelley-as-nudged-by-crowley#something something so much demon imagery in keat's poetry something iDK#'the last whom i love more the more of blame is heap’d upon her - maiden most unmeek - i knew to be my demon poesy'#something something 'i should have been a rebel angel had the opportunity been mine'#LAMIA? HELLO???#GOD OK OK OK OK#which would make keats kind of being always a little wary of shelley and not taking up his offer to convalesce with him in pisa#and going to rome instead kind of a consequence of aziraphale and crowley bullshit#oof ouch it hurt itself in its confusion#goD aziraphale's take on keats given his whole victorian charity schtick in the edinburgh minisode I AM FASCINATED#esp given keats's background as a pharmacist and surgeon's assistant - my guy was def on the scalpel side of the resurrectionist trade#MANY THOUGHTS#anyway there are only two tagged appearances of keats in good omens fic but aziraphale fucks shelley once so like
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sugaredoleander · 4 months
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i'm so blorbo-fiable, actually. unfortunate for me as i'm not a character as far as i'm aware, and in real life that's a recipe for misery that i have to actually go to therapy and Do The Work about. but i really would make for an excellent blorbo
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finishing-seurat · 1 year
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dolichomorph · 2 years
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somebody tagged my magic post with #poetry #kinda and i think thats fucking hilarious, i am so flattered
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harmoonix · 3 months
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🌴Favela🌴
Astrology Observations
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She comes from the favela
Hills of Santa Teresa
Underneath the Redeemer
And the sun in the sky
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🌴 - Pisces in your big 6 (Sun, Moon, Rising, Venus, Mercury, and Mars) make the native to be a big dreamer! Their dreams and spiritual world is endlessly beautiful 🥰🥰
🌴 - Why do I have a feeling Libra and Cancer placements cry at happy endings?? Is their energy right there! They don't like when good things end 😀💔
🌴 - Sagittarius Placements especially Venus/Mars/Mercury so blessed, these planets give a tropical aura to the native 🦋🦋🦋
🌴 - Taurus/Pisces/Libra Placements need to live artistic lives, life is poetry, life is art, life is music, you are a muse in your own world 🪭🪭
🌴 - Jupiter/Saturn in the 9H or at 9° 21° degrees are blessed with very good knowledge! They're always the wise one in the group! 🏛🏛
🌴 - If you have multiple aspects to your Sun, you can often have personality disorders lime bipolar disorder! Always in a change of a mood💣💣
🌴 - Those with fewer aspects to planet Mars in their chart don't get angry that fast. They're more calm and peaceful 🦭🦭
🌴 - People always say sister signs belong together, yet here I am a Capricorn biatch always getting in arguments with Cancer placements!! I got enough!! No hate to cancers tough!! Everyone is different 😊🫶🏼
🌴 - 2025 will be a very changing year for me omfg😭 I will have Scorpio Rising in my solar return next year! If I'm gonna make it out alive I will make more solar return observations
🌴 - Imagine having a favorite planet in your birth chart and that planet is being the one with the less aspects 😭😭? Sun is my fav planet and I have like 3 aspects this is bullshit already
🌴 - People with Venus - Mercury aspects are appreciated for their voices! You have a very beautiful one!!👏👏
🌴 - When you have Saturn in late degrees like between 20° to 29° usually means Saturn has to finish something in this life💞
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🌴 - Moon in your 8H and Moon in Scorpio natives are the first ones to heal you! Usually, when you have people around you with those placements, it means you need healing💆‍♂️💆‍♂️💆‍♂️
🌴 - Venus in the first degrees between 0° and 10° need to focus on themselves first! You should always be your biggest priority
🌴 - Mercury at 9° and 21° is so talkative, and they always speak so fast and jump from subjects to another
🌴 - Scorpio, Cancer, and Pisces in the 2H usually become addicted with the thing they buy/spend money on
🌴 - Moon in the 9H is a very beautiful placement to have if you love traveling around the world this placement gives you the chance to do that (Moon at 9° 21° too)
🌴 - It is known that people with Capricorn/Aquarius Placements have beautiful legs! Take care of all your body parts in order also in order to love yourself take care of your body
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She come from the favela
Ask me 'e aí beleza'
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🌴 - My Mom has her Venus in the 5H and she loves to do a lot of sports, she is so hard to beat at any ball game like she always wins 😭😭
🌴 - Moon in your 10H or at 10° 22° degrees can indicate your feelings are exposed to the world or the people around you! And you may be afraid to show them your true feelings
🌴 - Saturn in water signs always make sure to not speed the natives healing process! It always comes with the time
🌴 - Aries/Gemini and Leo Placements are possibly the most curious people you will ever meet because they learn things everyday
🌴 - Moon between 5° and 10° can be the most active moon placement when they're surrounded with things they enjoy
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🌴 - Juno asteroid between 10° and 19° degrees can indicate a spouse who's gonna teach you a lot of things
🌴 - Lilith between 20° and 29° is usually when Lilith feels the most powerful because she feels like she can run the world, is empowering
🌴 - Capricorn and Pisces placements can find comfort in isolating themselves if they actually need it!
🌴 - I don't think there is someone who can understand Aquarius Moon natives feelings better than themselves, because is their inner world after all
🌴 - Not an astro observations but since this post is targeted around travelling, there is a legend that says when your soul is in love with a country/place is probably because there is someone waiting for you in that place or country Do you think it is true guys?)If the theory is true my soulmate is living on the other side of the globe 🤡🤡🤡
🌴 - If Gemini or Mercury sits in the 6H you probably like to talk or to spread awareness and warnings about specific things like maybe a conflict or a war or any other crise
🌴 - Sagittarius Mars can have a good accent when they try to speak a foreign language it work if your Mars is also in the 9H or at 9° or 21°
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F A V E L A 🇧🇷
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🌴 - If your Pluto sits in the 11H or at 11° 23° you can attract envy from people around you especially friends are the first envy targets
🌴 - Saturn/Capricorn in the 12H can feel so tiring! Is usually because it is a very deep placement to have for the 12H topics make sure to rest
🌴 - I love how ambitious are natives with Saturn in the 6H or Saturn in Virgo/Saturn at 3° 15° 27° degrees, they really make the job done
🌴 - In my opinion Saturn really loves the middle houses like 5H/6H/7H/8H because it teaches the native hard lessons through learning where in other placements Saturn will mostly do lots of practice with the natives like the 1H or 2H
🌴 - Saturn in Aquarius/Saturn in the 11H/Saturn at 11° 23° will teach you how to value your true friendships and in the same time to learn how a friendship is suppose to work
🌴 - Lilith in Sagittarius/9H and at 9° 21° Most times can end up losing their faith or beliefs or simply changing them! (This can not apply to everyone)
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🌴 - In the Vedic astrology placements in the 9H and 12H like Venus, Moon or Sun can find their spouses usually a bit more later in life
🌴 - In the Vedic astrology your nakshatra plays a big role in your personality, appearance, beauty, which one is yours? Mine is in Chitra 🫶🏼 find your nakshatra here! You'll need to do a nakshatra calculator first
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🌴 - Aries Sun/Moon and Rising natives are so naturally charming, I swear their faces play such a big role in their beauty, especially the eyebrows
🌴 - I think is easier for mercury in fire signs to call and tell you everything instead of writing messages, I think they wanna say it face to face
🌴 - Moon and Sun can be introverted in the 2H/4H/6H/8H/ and 12H because these planets usually are more mysterious in those houses
🌴 - Jupiter in Virgo/6H and at 6° 18° have so much luck when they're looking for a job! It might actually be manifested into your subconscious
🌴 - If someone has their Jupiter in the same sign as your Venus, they can be so much into you without realizing it is something that grows over time
🌴 - Virgo Moons think more logical than others because they loveee to keep it in order, everything has their own time in this space
🌴 - If you have your 11H connected to the 8H your *fake* friends may want to use you for money, take care of such people (How they can be connected? Look if the ruler of the 11H is making an aspect with the ruler from the 8H)
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🇧🇷 Deep in the colors and the streets
Lost in the funk favela beats
Prisioneira 🇧🇷
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🌴 - If your 7H is connected to the 10H can indicate your spouse can be the breadwinner and the provider in the relationship (How they can be connected? Look if the ruler of the 7H is making an aspect with the ruler from the 10H)
🌴 - Your 7H Lord/Ruler and its aspects can also tell you a lot about your spouse and your relationship with them.
🌴 - Mars in the 1H/3H/10H tend to really be turned on easily, I swear they're always there ready for something to happen
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🌴 - Chiron in Virgo can indicate someone who may be very controlling and strict even with themselves but also with other people
🌴 - Virgo south node can indicate someone who worked in the favor of service and devotion in a past life
🌴 - I honestly love the trio of the natives with horns like Aries Taurus and Capricorn?? Horn creature - like are so beautiful!!
🌴 - Saturn in the 1H natives are more comfortable being alone than with people who stress them 24/7
🌴 - Leo and Cancer placements usually have very shiny skin, or their skin color might be really pretty (it can be any skin color) it will just make your appearance charming
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Chorando estará ao lembrar de um amor
Que um dia não soube cuidar
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Canção riso e dor, melodia de amor
Um momento que fica no ar
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Damn this post took so long, but it ended so good! Let Venus to bless the aether! 💞🦋 Harmoonix
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devilander · 4 months
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rain falls in love
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homelander x gn reader. fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of past abuse
Cozy Corner Domaystic: Thunderstorm
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You were a light sleeper. Even minor disturbances would wake you instantly; your cat meowing, a neighborhood’s TV turned on, cars passing through the street. Whenever Homelander and you slept together you couldn't help but be slightly envious of how he could turn off the whole world—he slept like a stone, slept like the dead. 
Today, though, you doubted many could sleep through the thunderstorm that split New York’s sky. Each thunder louder than the other, sequences of lightning turning the apartment clear as day. And, courtesy of your boyfriend's gigantic windows, you felt enclosed in the roar of the night. 
For some, it could be an entertaining spectacle; nature's power a soothing balm, a way to make you contemplate how much of your worries were small and ephemeral—in the end, there was only the earth and the rain. 
You could, in theory, see the poetry of it. But all you felt was an overwhelming fear. The loud noises reminded you of your father's booming voice, the cracking of electricity too similar to his heavy hands landing on you. 
John was away, having left a week ago in some undisclosed mission. Undisclosed to the public, of course, because he told you in detail how, actually, he was going to take part in a non-authorized invasion of a terrorist cell. Or so he called it. 
You were alone. Only you and the storm and Popsicle purring in your lap, indifferent to his surroundings. 
After another furious thunder nearly frightening you to death, you decided to call John. Tears streamed down your face and you felt ridiculous—it’s only rain. And yet. 
He probably wouldn't pick up. If he did, he'd be too busy, what could he do?
In the first ring, however, he answered. “Hello, sweet face. Awake at this hour?”
“Oh, it's nothing.” You tried to disguise your sniffles, suddenly beyond embarrassed. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Silence, and then—
“Is it the storm, sweetheart?”
“Yes, yeah. I can't sleep, it keeps reminding me of… you know. I'm sorry for bothering you.”
“Don't you ever apologize to me for that, ever,” he retorted, voice tinged with anger, though you knew it wasn't aimed at you. 
“Can we—” Another thunder, and this time you yelped, scaring Popsicle so that he ran to hide under the bed. “God, I hate this,” you whimpered. “I just want you here. I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too, you precious thing. Fuck, this is bullshit. A fucking week here and we accomplished shit. They sent me the most incompetent team of motherfuckers, I'm up my ass with their whining and ‘but sir, mister Edgar said we should be cautious’.”
You laughed. “Sounds like a trifle.”
“Ugh, fucking tell me about it. A week without you for this bullshit. Y’know what, I'm out. Hold on there, honey, I'll be with you in a moment.” 
And he hung up. And the storm raged on, but you felt a giddy warmness settling on you. 
Not before long, he barged in, completely wet, but you couldn't care less. You ran to his arms, letting the raindrops seep through your clothes as tangible proof of his devotion. 
“You didn't need to come.”
“Ah, but I promised, didn't I? I'll be with you anytime you need me, and you need me now, don't you?”
You giggled, forgetting all about the fears. It was washed over. “I do. And you need a hot bath.”
“Hmph. You too, little baby. C’mon, join me.”
You sat behind him in the tub, washing his hair, enjoying every second of this quiet moment. He moaned at the contact and squeezed your thigh as it circled his waist. 
If the storm was a demonstration of nature's power, John was both its likeness and antithesis—he himself was a force to be reckoned with, an amalgamation of sheer strength and might. Created by men, but a victim of them. You could understand that, quite intimately.
He gave you security in his power, and you gave him peace in your tenderness—the value of a whisper to a snowbank. 
“John,” you whispered. “I love you. I'll keep you forever, because you belong to me and I to you. Will you let me?”
You felt, more than you saw, his deep breath, swallowing back tears you knew were spilling down his cheeks. You didn't care what they said, what he did looking back in anger, because this was the only truth. 
“Yeah…” He choked up, but soldiered on. “Yeah, my love. I'm never letting you go. I fucking love you to pieces.”
As you lay in bed together you decided—in the end, there was only he and you. 
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khuzena · 5 months
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Waiting room
Pairing: Dr ratio, Aventurine, Sunday x g/n!reader
Summary: You can love, get on your knees and wait on a miracle. There are things that are for you and aren't for you, you should know. It's for the better.
Cw. Heavy angst, no comfort, 1% fluff, manipulative men, toxic relationships, insecurities, death?, unrequited love, breakups, them neglecting you cos…, no closure, what is love?
A/n: hi, time to make you cry. I'm getting writer's block as I'm making a new novel!! It has the ‘your guardian angel’ fics plot but w my characters. 🥳
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Dr ratio
He's a simple man, really.
Drown yourself in endless textbooks, advanced literature and neglect every other thing.
Like his thirst for knowledge; love is endless, affection is abundant.
Is what you initially thought.
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It has been the 4th time this week that he turned down your requests, “Dear, you know I have no time for that.”
He does not try to sugarcoat his words, he does not try to make his tone less harsh, “I don't have time for dates, such a waste of time.'' He says it like it is, he says it like it's true.
Your eyebrows creased, annoyed at his flippant attitude, “What do you mean waste of time?”
Veritas takes one glance at you, then back to his nonsense book. To him, it was useless wasting his breath on arguing with you.
“Veritas, you said we'll go, you promised.”
He is cruel, his words flinty. “I do not recall making any atrocious promises to you, are you perhaps going insane?”
Insane?
“Insane? Last week, you promised me.”
“I did not.”
“Yes you did.”
He scoffs, as if offended, “If I did, then I was not thinking straight. I have a thesis due tomorrow. A date can wait.”
Veritas is a man with priorities and out of all of them, it seems, you were not one of them. He'd rather his books kept him company, not you. It's obvious, his pursuit of knowledge was greater than loving you.
He lit his lamp, taking his pen and highlighting some paragraphs, what was so important with them? You could not help but come closer, skimming through the contents, it was just some theory some genius society member wrote.
“You're miserable,” it might've accidentally slipped out, but it was true; he is, in fact, the most miserable of all men.
Veritas rolled his eyes, pushing his reading glasses and annotating whatever statement was written. The candle light flickered when his heavy breaths fanned over it, not paying mind to whatever you say.
Your patience was thinning, how long was he planning to play this damned game?
“Veritas.”
You call out once.
“Veritas!”
Again, in anger.
“Veritas”
The last time, desperately.
He does not respond, he does not care. Yet your voice was ringing in his ears in an unpleasant way, “Is this about the date?”
You were taken aback by his curt reply, it wasn't just about the date. “Is that all? Do you think that's the only reason?”
“Hypothetically speaking, yes.”
“Cut the bullshit, veritas.”
Veritas glares at you, as if making a statement; a bullshit one at that. He does not have time for mindless topics, he's overworked, he's tired, he's unsatisfied.
For a moment, you have the urge to yell at him. This shallow bastard has done nothing but fool you with aureate words, he writes poetry about you and shows you off.
He loves you because you are all he has. He may be an asshole but he loves you the way he knows how to love you.
Tonight, however, you are done with his bullshit. You do not argue further, he is confused. When you leave this room with no more qualms, when you do not scream at him, he is bewildered.
“Where are you going?” It's strange that he noticed you for the first time. Only when you get dressed up and when he hears the keys jingle, does he notice every single detail.
You adjusted the cuffs of your blouser, “I'm staying at a friend's”
“Which one?”
“None of your business.”
Stunned, he drops his pen. Why are you acting so off? You're driving him insane.
“What do you mean none of my business? Stop acting so childish.”
That was your last straw, childish? Childish? The fucking audacity.
“You are more childish.”
“How so?”
“You— do I even have to explain it?”
Nothing could quell your frustration other than being away from him for the meantime, “Yes,” he loves you, he wants to know. But even if he does, he never learns; so much for a genius.
“You neglect me, you prioritise this,” it was tempting to crumple his papers, “—over me.” So you did.
He is indifferent. He does not understand how and why it hurts you. So he tries to understand it from a logical standpoint, “So you want to really go on that date?”
“I'm tired of asking”
Tired of begging him to treat you right, to love you like you want him to love you.
He stays quiet.
“I'm tired of begging for something so small.”
“You didn't have to destroy my goddamn book,” he seethed and pulled the book from your hands, too absorbed in the damage of the book he does not notice how much he has damaged you. Veritas is too blind to see you holding back tears despite wearing his glasses.
The force surprised you, “Is that thing much more important?”
“What?”
“Answer me Veritas Ratio.”
It was merely just a book, but it was precious. It was a rare one, it annoyed him to immeasurable depths when you crumpled it so recklessly.
He does not answer.
“I'm leaving,” he's not sure if leaving meant temporarily, he hopes it is. He hopes you come back again tomorrow night.
So he waits. Tomorrow came, but you did not come home.
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Aventurine
He loves you, he really does.
His idea of love is adorning you with jewels, showering you with riches.
Too much that you suffocate, it hurts. You can't breathe, soulless eyes stare into yours.
It's when you realise, he's trapping you. Does he think you're stupid? What does he take you for?
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“Darling! I got you a gift!”
The 22nd one this week… Aventurine makes haste and runs behind you, wearing the necklace on you, it looks… okay.
You look like a doll, his doll.
But you are not a doll, you are human.
And like all humans, we all wish to be loved and cherished as an equal.
“Do you like it?” It would be rude to say no, but it does not fit you. Sure it accentuates your neck, but it's too much.
“I…” you traced your finger over the gem, “I do.”
“Great! I'll get you another tomorrow!” It is tiring. As much as planets worth of gold and extravagant jewels excite you, you would rather be in his presence.
You do not recall the last day he's ever taken you out on a proper date, you do not recall any time where he's been open to you about his past because you know damn well his name could never just be ‘Aventurine’.
You were sitting on the couch, sipping tea with your eyes glued to your book. Before you knew it, soft lips grazed on your cheek.
“You're back earlier than expected,” he smiles as he pressed another kiss onto you, “I ditched the meeting, for you.”
Oh how you hate it when he does things in your name just to make you indebted to him. Aventurine loves you, but love is transactional.
“Is that so?” He nods, wrapping his arms around you. “I'll buy you something again, we have another business trip in Penacony.”
It makes you wonder, does he think gifts are the only thing that'll make you stay?
He could see the reluctance in your eyes, “Is something on your mind?”
You bit your lip, “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
A deafening silence fills the room before he chuckles, he is everything but stupid. He knows, he knows you want to spend time with him, he knows you’d incinerate those gifts in a heartbeat just to trade even an hour spending time with him.
“Dear, I promise, next time,” he pressed light kisses on your exposed shoulder, but it isn’t enough: what truly is enough?
You want to push him away, with how ruthless he is with making empty promises so easily, “You said ‘next time’ last time.”
”I promise, I do.” Even he sounds unsure. You pick up on the hint of hesitation laced in his promises, he regrets it, but he thinks; he’s doing it for you, for the both of you.
“You said that too last month,” you scoff.
He tried to intertwine your fingers together yet to no avail, you rejected him, “Why are you acting up again?”
There’s only so many gifts can buy but he can never purchase the time lost that could’ve been spent in lazy mornings together yet he traded it all for credits. The second attempt, he forces a smile and even pulls a tiny ring for you, that gem you loved so much engraved in the centre. Words cannot express how much you despise these gifts because it was just a pathetic compensation for the neglect.
”Please, next month.” He took your hand in his and put the ring on your ring finger. “Okay?”
You cling to that possibility, to that sliver of hope when he is done with Penacony, he is relieved of his duties and he is finally free. That he no longer has to overcompensate for his absence and shower you with the time he’s lost.
You know next month won’t come, yet you are no different from a fool.
”Okay”
You wait upon endless tomorrows, two months have passed and none of his coworkers have any good news about his well-being. They’re sure he’s dead, but you still wait for that tomorrow where he is home to come.
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Sunday
Love, what truly is love?
Is it when you praise your lover with endless ‘I love you’s?
Is it when you hold their hand and protect them for the impending doom to come?
or rather, is love just a fallacy built on a string of lies?
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Sunday believes that he knows what’s best for you.
Before Sunday, you were allowed to make your own decisions.
Before Sunday, you actually had freedom.
The halovian swears he knows what’s best for you.
He makes sure everything you want or need, you get.
Sunday will kiss your tears away, even if he is the sole reason for them. ”It’s for your own good.” he says.
To strip you of freedom, to shackle you to him like a bird in a cage. His sweet kisses, his love, his everything; they’re all fucking poison. He does not hesitate to drown you in his poison if it means protecting you.
You cry out, “Sunday.” In desperate pleas.
But he will not listen, he’ll pretend he doesn’t hear anything.
He believes that if he gives you the taste of freedom, you’ll find a way to fly away from his grasp– he will not allow it. So he does what he’s best at, keeping you stuck to him.
”What do you want, dear?” He smiles at you like he’s never sinned.
You throw away the pathetic gifts he adorned you with, gold, diamonds and stones you could not name but they are not what you want, “I want to see my friends.”
”They’re no good, trust me.” Your friends once told you that you should go, that he’s toxic, but you were a fool to drown in him.
“What do you know about my friends?” He’s done everything to kill that flame inside of you, that hope that maybe one day you’d escape him and be free once again, you’re a fool, he thinks.
He clicks his tongue as he puts down his newspaper at the coffee table, ”They tried to take you away from me.”
”They did not, you know I would never leave you.” A blatant lie but it's stupid that you take him for a fool that’ll believe your words.
He only chuckles, your attempts to get away from him are futile, it’s pathetic it makes him laugh. “I admire your confidence, but you’re staying here tonight.”
Death has never been more alluring under his influence, but you can not die.
“Please,” you beg again, but he only presses his finger to your lips, “Shh…”
”One day you’ll thank me for taking such good care of you.” He gets down on his knees to kiss the back of your hand, “You’re safe here.”
He gets up to sit right next to you, he doesn’t flinch when you slap his face away when he tries to kiss you. The man only grabs your wrist when you try to push him away again. He kisses you with passion, in love but is it truly love when there is no trust?
There’s no use questioning his intentions, “This is for your own good.”
What good is there when there is no freedom? He thinks beautiful birds should be protected. Even if it meant being trapped in a cage, stripped of any sense of freedom, as long as you're safe, as long as you're here with him, he is content. "Dont give me that look."
Your eyes train on the way he rolls his eyes at your defiance, "Just let me go."
Sunday glares at you, his grip on your wrist tight, you're sure he's about to tear it off. "No."
When will you stop acting like a child?
The halovian is too far down the rabbit hole of self righteousness and his obsession with you that he if he needs to tear you limb by limb to keep you close to him, to keep you from rubbing away, he will do it.
His phone rings, it must be business calls again, Penacony sure is in a state of chaos when it's crumbling down. He lets go off you to take his phone.
"Yes yes... Sunday speaking."
You dont understand what they're murmuring about. All you could register is it's something about his sister.
His facial expression turned grim the more time he spent on the phone. The phone call ends and he puts it down, the life from his face drained but when he sees you, he is relieved.
You are still here with him.
He intertwined your hands together, you can feel anger and despair that he's exuding as he stares at you like a deer in the headlights. "Please, promise me."
"You'll never leave me too."
It doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like a statement.
You'll truly never know what freedom is, for that is only a privilege that you can never have. In his arms you cannot cry, because he'll drown you in his lies again and again.
On the bright side, you are never alone. You will always have Sunday, whether you like it or not.
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Note: bye i got extreme writer's block at Sunday's part I had to take almost a 2 week break bc i rlly have no idea what to write for him oh my god. I absolutely did not give them justice 😥
Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡ 
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crippleprophet · 6 months
Text
i don’t understand how people can be so fucking cruel about people who can’t read much (including people who aren’t literate, though this post is from my experience with chronic illness). like, one of my main motivations behind posting excerpts of butch+femme writing on my main (@campgender ; it’s fine to go through my bookshelf tag but please only followers age 18+ on that blog!) is that it is fucking hard to read a full book!!
my reading comprehension & stamina decreased drastically when i developed worse chronic fatigue, & while i’m overjoyed that i’ve recently regained a lot of that particular ability since getting blackout curtains, there are absolutely still texts i can’t even begin to parse that i once would’ve loved digging into — texts that it would be actively dangerous for me to attempt to struggle through because it would break pacing.
idk i’m not trying to be self-congratulatory here or whatever but like. the second i could access information through this means again, the focus of my (very fucking limited!!) energy has been giving it back to my people. my life has been unquestionably, deeply shaped by tumblr users who share excerpts of theory & memoir & poetry because they were providing labor of which i was in need & incapable.
finding, selecting, transcribing, formatting, & at times contextualizing passages takes a lot of fucking time & energy, but in order for me to encounter certain concepts, experiences, & histories, it’s work somebody else had to do, because i couldn’t read 200 pages of research or anthology in order to encounter the 10 that would change my life — but posted 2 or 3 pages at a time, i could save that in my drafts to get through on a good day, & quotes that were only a couple lines i could usually read right when i encountered them.
so, in memory of the years i spent unable to access theory through anything other than excerpts & secondhand summaries,
and in anticipation of the years to come where i will live the same,
and in acceptance that the brain is a muscle, in love of we the exercise-intolerant,
to you, dear reader — whatever form & frequency & duration that reading may take, even if it’s no further than this post — i make my motherfucking covenant: the issues i discuss around pulling quotes will be about the political act of the ellipse and the ethics of transcription, not shaming people for the methods of accessing information that are available to them. as often & as long as i am able, people can ask me to explain something or summarize in plain language and i will meet them with respect, interest, & effort. if someone’s looking for information on a particular topic, identity, experience & doesn’t have the energy to find it, i’m gonna give what i have towards filtering through the bullshit for the gems.
according to our abilities. according to our needs.
and the next time somebody tells you it’s not ableist to say everyone has to read [whatever work], tell them to go put their precious ability to better use in making it more accessible.
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
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Hello! May I request 94. With Rook?
I certainly wouldn't mind the smoot if you think it fits into what you write-
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Gender Neutral Reader x Rook Hunt Word Count: 1.2k
Prompt 94: "Don’t act innocent, you had me pinned underneath you 5 minutes ago."
🌶️ Warning for Mild Spice
[EVENT MASTERLIST]
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“Just a bit of chase!” he says.
“The thrill of the hunt can be so fun!” he says.
Except now you’re covered in sweat and doubled over panting like you’re going to go into cardiac arrest. Because Rook’s idea of ‘oh, just a little run around, je promets!’ involved nothing less than a full fucking sprint through the wooded areas of the campus—over hill, and under hill, and godyou were so out of shape.
You gasped into your knees, bent over in anticipation of just, I don’t know. Death? Vomit? All of the above?
“Ah, don’t tell me you’ve given up already, mon cher!” the aforementioned demon cooed from somewhere in the trees. In the trees! Like a literal, freaking hunter of old, and not your coddling boyfriend smiling all pretty when he says ‘just a bit.’ Absolute bullshit. You wanted a refund. “We’ve only just begun!”
“It’s been—” you gasped, swiping a furious hand over your dripping brow, “—an hour! You fucking masochist!”
“A true predator knows best that a subtle, steady approach is always the most satisfying, mon petit lapin,” he hummed, voice echoing discordantly over your head. “And how could I not take my time, when the reward is bound to be so sweet, hmm?”
“What reward?” you snapped. “Me doing this at all is the reward!”
The blonde’s trilling laughter curled through the air like the tinkle of a windchime. Light, and airy, and pleasant. Which was deceptive. And entirely unfair.
“Ah, but mon favori. I doubt you could ever say no to a little death, hmm?” he cooed. And the continued, with an air of faux consideration. “A bit for you, and then perhaps a bit for me. And then a bit more for you—”
Fuck his poetry. It was going to be a big death. A literal death. With rigor mortis, and decay, and a bloating corpse if you didn’t have a chance to collapse into a puddle in the next five minutes. Normally Rook’s sweet sonnets and romantic ramblings were something you found quite endearing. But surely anyone would be pushed past their Cutesy Bullshit Tolerance after being chased like a bat out of hell for the past literal hour. You felt woozy, and wrong footed, and like maybe that muffin you’d snagged for breakfast might be in the process of making up its mind to come back up to say hello.
“You have to run, petit lapin,” that chittering voice called again. “That’s the whole point.”
“No!” you snapped, stomping your foot like a toddler. “I give up! I’m a dumb rabbit! A lame rabbit! A rabbit with no legs! Just—get me already!” you shouted into the leafy canopy.
Silence.
You glared up into the kaleidoscope of greens, eyes narrowed as you searched the shadows. Surely he was somewhere. Somewhere close. You just had to—
And then you were crashing forward with an inelegant screech—a familiar, gloved hand pressing into the skin at the back of your neck and the other twisting into your uniform jacket to push you down into the dirt. And then Rook was sitting astride your hips, looking down at you with a sharp, brilliant gleam in his emerald eyes.
“Ah, mon pauvre lapin perdu,” he sighed, all faux sympathy, and shifted to lean forward so that he could grin into your flushed face. “Whatever shall I do with you, hmm? Rolling over to show your belly so readily. Certainly that’s far from safe.”
There was a tight, warm, whoosh in your gut. A twisting thing that you knew far too well at this point. And it spelled nothing but bad things.
You raised your chin as best as you could, meeting that toothy smirk of his head on, and then—
Ah. Nope. That had been the muffin after all.
Your face went green and you rolled onto your side to barf chunks of banana-nut-nonsense all over the grass.
.
.
“Mon cher, how can you ever forgive me?” Rook wailed, dabbing a soft, silk cloth against your heated forehead, nearly in tears. “I have failed you so horribly! So completely! I deserve to be cast from your good graces! Cursed to errer seul! Mutilé par des chiens! Jeté en enfer! Forcé de se repentir pour toujours!—”
“Enough, please,” you whined, pinching at the bridge of your nose. “I’d rather you just, I don’t know, got me a glass of water.”
“Right away!” he chirped, shooting to his feet and darting out the door and down the hall. He was back hardly a moment later, depositing a clean cup into your hands and plunking a curling, purple straw into the center of it.
“Thanks,” you mumbled, leaning forward to take a sip.
“Anything at all for you, mon cher!”
This was almost worse somehow.
“Would you cut it out,” you sighed. “It’s fine. Really. Shit happens.”
He stared up at you from where he was kneeled on the floor at your side with the largest, most doleful eyes you’d ever seen. Like a kicked puppy dog had a sad, sad child with, like, an even more pathetic, more kicked, kitten. You jabbed at him with your foot.
“And stop that!”
“Stop what?” he asked, blinking those stupid, stupid green eyes at you.
“Acting all innocent!” you complained. “You literally had me pinned underneath you, like, five minutes ago!”
“I did, didn’t I?” he hummed, sounding almost pensive. He reached up to tap at his chin, like he was chewing over a thought. “And I wasn’t even able to keep my promise, was I?” he lamented, deflating.
“What promise?” you frowned.
“For a bit of mutual demise,” he sighed. “Une petite mort.”
You felt heat crawl up your cheekbones and all the way to the tips of your ears. Because this had been some whole, elaborate setup, hadn’t it? Something that you’d only agreed to because he’d seemed so, ah, enthusiastic. And then you’d gone and barfed up banana chunks and ruined the whole thing.
“Sorry,” you mumbled.
Rook’s head shot up and he reached out to snare your hands in his.
“Non, non, mon cher!” he gasped. “This was hardly your fault to speak of! It is I and my poor planning that ought to make recompence,” he said.
And then, a terribly acute sort of brilliance came over his face. Like a lightbulb went off in his brain. Those green eyes went sharp with focus. He seemed to roll the his words around on his tongue, as if deciding exactly how they ought to taste when he let them fall back out again.
“And recompense I shall make!” he chirped, determined and shifted so his chin was resting in your lap. He sent you a coy little grin that had shivers racing down your spine.
“I literally just threw up,” you complained.
“This will certainly help you feel better,” he offered.
“That’s not the point!” you squawked. “Shouldn’t I—I don’t know—at least brush my teeth or something first?”
“Forgive me, mon petit lapin,” he laughed against your thigh. “But last I checked, I don’t think your mouth has anything do with this. And besides,” he crooned, reaching up to press a firm hand against your shoulder and help ease you down to the mattress below. “That was from overexertion, I’m afraid. Not illness. And I can promise, mon cher, that this time, you won’t have to bother putting any work in at all~”
.
.
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etheries1015 · 8 months
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Hellooo 1st I just wanna say that I love how you write! The fics you post almost always puts a smile on my face when I’m stressed and I just wanna thank you for that <3
Anyways I’ve been accidentally rizzing my friends up lately on accident with sweet words and I ended up thinking what would the biggest tsundere (literally) in twst do with an s/o who’s very generous with compliments and poetic with words and is shameless with how cheesy they can sound sometimes
I’m so sorry if my request is too vague huhu, have a good day! <3
THHAANNKK YOU *SMOOCHES* *GNAWS ON UR LEG* I LOVE U and may happier and less stressful times come ahead for you!
although you didn't specify which character...I picked who I believe to be the top three tsudneres of the game. Heuheuehu.
The prefects muse~
In which you find yourself utterly bemused by him, throwing out compliments and lines of infatuation that leave him a flustered wreck. How does he react to someone as valiantly passionate as you regarding your sweet words of honey?
Featuring: Idia, Riddle, Azul
Idia
Idia convinced himself you were just another introverted loser who had no care in your mind for other people, keeping to yourself, enjoying video games, and always open for degernate hours of playing video games.
what he did NOT know he was signing himself up for, was some sort of weird poet club bullshit. Yet there he was, sitting on the couch of the ramshackle dorm playing away at the new console he had gifted you he could feel your gaze burning the back of his head. Turning around slowly and almost with dread, your shit-eating grin blinded him with words of sweet-sweet cringe.
"Watching you play video games you can truly see how serious you are, it's adorable," Idia groaned with cheeks burning a bright shade of pink, burrying himself into the couch, "Ah~ I wish you would look at me like that, with such passion..."
"ugh..whhyy..." Idia murmured embarrassingly avoiding your gaze and remaining strong in holding himself together at your routine daily compliments.
"I can't help it!" You cried out theatrically, "Idiiaa...I can be like a video game. Play me, too!" That comment broke something inside of him that was supposed to be stayed hidden, his blue hair changing a bright shade of pink to signify the extent of his flustered state. You only giggled at this, as Idia attempted to hold in all self control by taking his hoodie, hoping the couch would just take him then and there.
Over time he became used to the fact that you would openly flirt with him, although that never stopped the second hand embarrassment that came along with it. What he wont tell you, though, that behind the rosey cheeks and tsundere display of dislike for your antics, was a heart that beat quickly and mind that secretly enjoyed your poetic and "old cringy" way of loving him.
Which just means your flirting is working, keep it up! <3 But maybe try to hold back in front of other people, he isn't sure how much more he can keep deflecting their raised eyebrows and teasing remarks...
riddle
Being someone who is well versed in the world of poetry and literature, he could often pin point where some of your lines may come from. His way of deflection is either correcting your sentences, or retorting with the next line. What he DOESN'T know how to deflect, is the string of compliments you give him on a day to day basis. At first he simply thought you were being kind in complimenting the way his hair shone in the sunlight- until Cater pointed out that your remarks were anything but the norm. That's when Riddle took more notice to it, realizing that your lines of poetry was not an exercise of the brain, yet an actual technique to flirt with him.
and it was working.
"Riddle~" You sang in the halls of heartslabyul, skipping much to his annoyance.
"Do not jump around in the halls," He chastised you, "What is it?" You gave him a mischievous smile with a toothy grin to match, clearing your throat and standing straight.
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite."
Silence reigned for a few moments as Riddle blinked a few times, squinting his eyes to give you his typical "poker face."
"Is this another one of your attempts to 'flirt' with me?" He asked, you leaning against the wall and running your fingers through your hair in a flirty and playful manner. You nodded eagerly, to which Riddle gave a sigh and walked past you to continue whatever he was doing prior to your poetic interruption. Your jaw slacked open and you skipped (again, to his annoyance) to catch up to him.
"I swear I saw a smile! Turn around and show it to me, Riddle! Was that one good? Did I capture your heart finally?" You giggled, seeing how Riddle was obviously ignoring your feeble cries of searching attention.
Yet you were correct, he couldn't help but find his cheeks as red as a rose and lips curling up in a bashful smile. He would not allow you to see how you affect him, however.
Riddle tends to just ignore your flirting, now that he has come accustomed to it. Even in front of people when you would openly compliment him, Riddle continued sipping his tea seemingly unbothered. Whenever he would get strange looks to find an explanation to your questionable behavior, he simply shrugged.
"Do not mind them, they are always like this."
But at night by his lonesome, he was repeating your words in his head a million times over, that same rose colored tint upon his cheeks and smile with a blanket hard on his grip. Perhaps giggling a time or two to himself...for he never met someone as brazen as you. Not that he was actually complaining, though.
Azul
Flirting with Azul was always a treat. His reactions were the most flamboyant out of the other tsundere boys, he never failed to get some sort of remark and complaint out of his mouth whenever you sang praises his way. He attempted to be calm and collected, but the blush that painted his cheeks betrayed his cool demeanor.
"Is that a new coat, Azul? Ohohoh you do look dashing, If I do say so myself. Did you style your hair? The way it frames your face really brings out your features-"
"Stop, stop stop! Why must you feel the need to shower me in complimets?!" He cried out, burying his face into his arms upon the deak. The pink on his ears was also unforgiving for the poor merman. You chuckled and sat next to him, patting his shouders.
"I can't help it! If I see something I like, I must voice it out. Is it too plain? I can try and be more poetic. Let's see..." You used your hand to pull his chin, forcing his gaze to meet with yours. You inwardly teased him at the vibrant hue of his cheeks and flustered face, keeping it in as you leaned forward to gaze deeply into his eyes.
"Your eyes," you started, "Shine far brighter than any I have seen, even the most silver and sparkly of diamonds pale in comparison to your-"
"e-e-enough! W-what is this?!" Azul pulled away, tucking his head back into his arms and groaning, "Just...go back to what you were doing before! None of this...diamond...and..." He trailed off, words failing him. Azul was not used to such praises from others, he spent his entire life believing the worst every moment he caught glance in a mirror with a life time of self esteem issues. So hearing you so openly compliment him always left the man flustered and blushing, cringing at every moment you tried to stroke his ego.
He never truly get's used to it, only finds ways to ignore you. When you're around others and began to make a sly comment about how his hands look nice or how his skin looks that particular day, he closes his eyes and avoids anyone's gazes with a face full of color that even the coral of the sea could not compare. He often gets teased by his fellow classmates for this, but never actually speaks up in distaste to you. He could never admit just how much your persistent compliments thoroughly means to him, and how with every word he finds himself looking in the mirror with a little more enthusiasm than he once had.
~~~
yes I like to use the headcannon that Idias hair changes color when he has really strong emotions aosdjflkasdjf
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Text
Code Pizza
Leon Kennedy x fem reader Established relationship, fluff 1,531 words
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“Can’t you go any faster?” The barrel of a gun is pressed against the already tender spot from where they’d oh-so-kindly whacked you round the head earlier and you wince, losing the slight flow you’d managed to build up on the keyboard – Leon’s words echoing around your head.
“Promise me you won’t ever do any of that self-sacrificing bullshit,” he’d mumbled in your ear, arms wrapped around you in bed. He’d got back from a mission that afternoon – been awful quiet about what it had entailed, what had happened and you hadn’t pressed.
“Me?”
“Mm. Like, if… If someone’s forcing you to do something – do it, we’ll sort out the mess later. You make sure you’re home and alive at the end of the day.” His voice sounded almost strained. “Just promise me, sweetpea.”
“I promise.”
Not exactly sure if this scenario was exactly what Leon had had in mind, but there’s a gun and a threat, so you’re typing… or at least attempting to.
“She’d be faster if you’d untied her hands.” Hunnigan grumbled from behind, seated in an office chair with her hands zip-tied behind her back. Yours are bound in front of you, keeping your wrists crossed, and essentially cutting one hand out of action entirely.
“Is that true?” Your minder – A, you decide to call him - leans forward into your peripheral vision, though his face is obscured by a ski mask – as is his companion’s – B - standing over Hunnigan. They’re geared up to the nines, spare ammo dangling off tactical belts, part of a larger operation in order to gain access to DSO HQ and you, apparently. The doors are locked down due to the emergency protocol, though the HQ works on a skeleton crew at the weekend so it’s possible that no-one even knows you and Hunnigan are in.
“100 words per minute at my best.” You shrug, eyes skimming over the code you’ve managed to get through so far. “I’m probably working at… 15 and less. So, yeah, it would be faster.”
“Nice try.” B states. “You’re writing code, not a novel.”
“Novel, no. Poetry, maybe...” You trail off. It would be a lot easier if you did have both of your hands, weren’t being held at gunpoint and not suffering from a raging headache.
You weren’t even supposed to be working, it being a Sunday. You’d been in yesterday working overtime on a project, but this morning had been spent catching up on dull chores around the house – laundry, going to the store, cleaning - and then the plan had been an afternoon of video games on the sofa, ordering a pizza for dinner, accompanied by a bottle of wine. Leon had been away a couple of days on a need-to-know basis and you didn’t have a date of when he’d be back, though he did always try and give you a couple of hours’ heads up on his impending arrival.
Early afternoon, just as you’d sat down, controller in hand, you’d got a call. Not from your boyfriend, however, but from one Ingrid Hunnigan, extremely apologetic but there had been urgent developments – vague, as always – and she needed you in ASAP. You’d agreed, couldn’t really refuse her, but you’d decided in a slight show of protest you weren’t getting changed into your more professional work wardrobe. If it truly was an emergency, they’d have to deal with you in your jeans and t-shirt…
..which had led to the nasty bruise on your temple when the intruders had burst in, taking you as a civilian to be subdued. When you came to, hands now bound, head thudding, fingers being snapped in front of your face to get your attention, you were wheeled in front of the computer terminal and given your objective.
“It’s faster in the movies.” A comments, waving the gun lazily now at least.
“We’re not in the movies.” You grumble back, irritated. “I’m writing a bespoke code to get into this system.”
B comes to stand at your side, then. “Well, our contact promised us that you were some sort of genius at this sort of stuff.”
“Maybe when I’m not concuss-” You’re cut off by him slamming his fist on the desk besides you, making you jump and your heart pound.
“Enough lip, enough excuses. Concentrate.”
You shuffle in the seat, repositioning your hands and continue on with what’s been demanded of you, Leon’s words echoing in your mind.
Your phone emits a jingle from your pocket – speak of the devil…
“What’s that?” B demands, looking around.
“It’s my phone – just a text.”
“You were meant to search her, you idiot.” B chides his companion. “Where is it?”
“Jacket pocket.” It chimes again.
“Someone’s popular.” You bite your tongue as he crouches down besides you, placing a hand unnecessarily on your thigh as he dips his hand in your pocket, fishing it out. “Who’s LSK?”
“My boyfriend.” You don’t need to turn to know Hunnigan’s trying to hold in a grin.
“Says he’s on his way home, wants to know if you’re there.”
“Can you tell him I’m working late and he should order pizza for dinner? I haven’t been grocery shopping yet and I was meant to.”
“I’m not your secretary,” B scoffs.
The phone chimes again. You’d set Leon’s messages to that obnoxious sound to be sure you heard it, not wanting to miss a chance to text with him whilst he was away. If he had time on his hands, his texts often turned to stream of consciousness until he got a reply.
“You ignoring me, sweetpea? God, he’s a bit needy, isn’t he?”
“He’ll just keep doing it unless I text back,” you pause in your typing, “Or I can do it…”
“Ah-ah, keep working.” B replies, tapping at your phone’s keyboard.
It chimes again and B sighs.
“He wants to know what you want.”
“Er…” You hesitate a moment, pretending to doublecheck a string value. “Veggie. Extra jalapenos.”
He taps again and sends, before placing your phone down on the desk out of reach. His hand squeezes your shoulder and he leans in. “Keep coding like a good girl, and we’ll make sure you get home for that pizza.”
--
You don’t know how he managed it with the protocols in place – surely it means there’ll be another security review - but a mere 45 minutes later after ordering your pizza, Leon comes crashing down from the ceiling, taking out A and B with single, effective shots in the chest as he does.
He forward rolls out of the impact and gets to his feet with a flourish.
“Sorry for the wait, ladies, pizza’s free since it wasn’t 30 minutes or less.” He grins, heading to Hunnigan first and cutting through her restraints.
“Do I even want to ask?” Hunnigan quirks an eyebrow, rubbing her wrists. Leon walks over to you next, crouching down in front of you and cutting your wrists free. “Wait, extra jalapenos?”
“Bingo.” You reply, though unable to tear your eyes away from Leon – he looks tired, not unusual after returning from a mission, in need of a shave. He cups your face, fingers gently brushing over the tender spot on your temple to assess the damage. “It’s a dumb code, we know.”
“No, it obviously worked. Good thinking.” Hunnigan nods, getting to her feet and approaching another terminal, sliding in her keycard to overrule the emergency controls and release the doors. “I need to call this all in – get it tidied up. Did you gain access?”
“No, couple of lines away, though.” You look at the lines of code on the screen. “I did spend a lot of time to make sure it had a real nice interface for when I ran it, for extra pizazz.”
“Good work – both of you.” Hunnigan turns to face Leon directly then, “Make sure you keep an eye on her - took quite a hit.”
“I will. Thanks, Hunnigan.” He remains crouched at your feet, your hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly.
“Good. And don’t come into tomorrow – either of you. I’ll deal with… this.” She strides out with purpose, shoulders back, nothing alluding to the fact that she was a woman who’s been held hostage for the past however many hours.
“You good, sweetheart?”
You smile, staring deep into those blue eyes you adore. “I’m good. You?”
“Won’t lie, not quite the homecoming I expected. Come here.” He pulls you up out of the chair and against his chest, wraps his arms around you and kisses you frantically, though you know it’s in relief.
“Had me worried with those jalapenos,” Leon admits, softly.
“I kept my promise.”
“Mm, not quite.” He pulls back and grins – you know that grin – but you still let out a squeal as he hooks an arm under your legs and picks you up in his arms.
“Leon, I can-“
“Nah, your promise isn’t kept and my mission isn’t over till you’re home. Allow me to give you the full hero experience.”
You roll your eyes, before pressing a kiss to his jaw.
“Fine. But we’re still getting pizza.”
“Took the words outta my mouth, sweetpea.”
--
Comments, likes and reblogs make my whole day x
Masterlist . Requests welcome . Ko-fi
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gretavanlace · 10 months
Text
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Josh Kiszka x reader
18+ only! Minors do not interact!
Warnings: graphic sexual content, language, dirty talk, discussion of poor self image/shaky mental health, praise, degradation, dumbification, impact play (spanking), etc
You’re standing in front of the floor length mirror when Josh’s voice finds you…turning this way and that with your t-shirt pulled tight around your belly and a frown furrowing your brow.
“The movie’s ready, baby.” There’s a smile in his tone, and a dramatic flare, as there so often is, as he leans against the door jamb. “And I made the popcorn on the stove like you like. None of that microwaved bullshit for my darling doll.”
You’d like to find your excitement in order to match his own - movie night is his favorite night of the week. Often, it turns into several nights a week, in keeping with his passion for film and curling up snug and warm with you on the couch.
And normally, you look forward to it as well, but tonight…
Well, tonight you’d just as soon crawl into bed alone and in the dark. How else will you ever manage to tune out all those poisonous thoughts hissing through your mind? Obsidian. Ominous. Hateful.
“What are you doing, babe?” There is concern in his query. He knows you far too well.
Dropping your shirt as if it’s white hot, you slip away from the mirror, praying he’ll let the matter drop. Though, you hope in vain. You know him far too well, too. “Nothing. C’mon, whatever masterpiece you’ve selected isn’t going to watch itself.”
He steps into the room and you suppress a sigh of defeat. “Waterloo Bridge.” He clarifies, studying you intently. “And you’re a shitty liar. What’s wrong?”
“I said it’s nothing, Josh,” there’s a touch too much venom in your tone, but sometimes you wish he didn’t see so damn much. Sometimes you wish you could skate around things with him.
“And that’s a lie,” he points out, sidling up behind you when you turn away. “Do we lie to one another?”
“No.” You concede quietly as his arms cradle you from behind.
“So, would you like to try again?” His embrace is soft, but it makes you feel safe and protected all the same. He has this way about him - he is love and light, sunshine and smiles, gentle poetry…but something lies hidden away behind it all, something only you get to see, and it makes for the most deliciously dark and menacing aura when it comes out to play.
“I just,” now you’re stammering like a child caught with a crayon in her hand and scribbles on the wall.
His lips move along the nape of your neck, brushing over your skin and the whispers of hair that have fallen from your bun, “You just, what?”
“I had lunch with my sister today.” You offer meekly. Can’t he ever just leave things alone? Can’t he ever just let you curl up with your self-loathing?
“Yes,” he nods, now pecking at the curve of your jaw, “And I adore you for not making me come along…she’s exhausting.”
“I know.” His palms are now running along beneath your shirt, circling your belly with tender possessiveness…it’s soothing and filled up full of love, but you wish his hands would land somewhere a little more flattering “But she’s also truthful. She thinks I should start going to the gym with her, and she’s right.”
He stills behind you instantly, and you can feel him shaking his head, though you’ve closed your eyes against the embarrassment of it all.
Eager to fill the room up with words rather than your own vulnerability, you rush on “She’s is, though. Right, I mean. I’ve put on weight, and the older I get, the harder it will be to take off. Obviously, I’ve never been small, but—“
He cuts you off with a loose palm around your throat and a snapped, “Stop.” Breathed in your ear.
“Josh,” Christ, you want to melt into the floor, “I love you for always being so sweet, but I,”
You haven’t the chance to finish your thought and his grip is tightening, “I said, stop.”
A joke will quench the fire burning in your cheeks, “C’mon, what if I got all adorable and tiny like your little hippy girls in the crowd? I—“
A sharp pinch to the curve of your hip shocks you into silence, which he promptly fills. “Don’t say things like that. You’re fucking beautiful. Soft and warm. I want to nestle my face right here,” his hand is splayed out wide across your belly again, “and right here,” his touch drops to find the dimples in your thighs, “for the rest of my life. If we get to choose our heaven, you will be mine. Gorgeous, perfect girl.”
Now you’re struggling to squirm out of his insistent embrace. You feel too seen. And though you know he is nothing if not sincere, always…those lovely words of his, they feel like untruths.
“Josh,” you snap, a little too harshly, “let’s just go watch the movie, okay?”
But it’s too late, he has spotted the quiver at your bottom lip.
“Hey,” he spins you around to face him and you know it’s useless to shut him out at this point. “What’s going on up here, hmm?” He taps your temple gently, “Is it getting loud?”
You know he means those intrusive thoughts that plague you when the love and admiration he beams in your direction isn’t enough. He knows the way they scream and yell at you no matter how badly he’d love to quiet them for good.
Ashamed, you stare down at his t-shirt, toying with the cotton between your fidgeting fingers, “Maybe a little,” you hush.
His fist tucks under your chin, tilting your face upward, but still, you refuse his gaze. “You need it, baby?”
Voice soft and leading, he lures you out of your bashfulness just enough for you to find the bravery to blink up at him with the tiniest of nods.
“Yeah?” He sounds so unlike himself - but also, exactly like himself. “You need me to make it go away? Wipe that wild mind until you’re as blank as you are pretty?”
Josh is small, and he has never shied away from that, but in these moments, he feels larger than life…looming like a God sent to bring you peace. “Can you, please?’
With a taunting flick of your nipple, he switches on. “Well, how could I ever say no to such a sweet girl? You sound like honey when you say please.”
The warmth of his body, so near to yours, is suddenly missing, but you’re feeling a little too meek to glance up to see where he’s gone…opting to stare at your thumbnail in earnest instead, resisting the urge to pick your cuticle.
“Come on, doll,” his voice comes hushed as a siren’s secret song floating through a cove “Miss you already.”
You feel unworthy of this. Of him. Of all the tiny ways he loves you just right. How he has memorized you in and out. The way he looks at you like he could happily stare forever. How he understands even when he doesn’t quite understand…how he took your heart and turned it round and round until he had mapped out every inch. How he dives inside your mind every day and does the same, no matter how tragic and treacherous it can be to wade through those waters.
When you had stumbled upon this, it had been by accident really. A harsh crack of his palm against the globe of your ass by way of quieting you when you’d argued with his stuttering praises as he pushed into you over and over from behind. Your brain had short circuited in the most welcomed and stunning way. That stinging impact, the shock of it, the tangible pain, had left no room for cruel thoughts…your mind was muffled up like lavender cotton with nothing but Josh and what he saw fit to give.
Most times, he loves you hard enough just by being himself. Golden, shimmering aura, grinning heart, sure and tender hands…but sometimes you need this from him - and he is always willing to oblige. You hold the key that turns all his locks, and he would sink into a bed of hot coals for a nap if you thought to ask it of him.
With a clipped call of your name, he’s got you hustling across the room to fold yourself shyly over his knee at the foot of the bed.
“That’s perfect, baby.” He coos down at you, palm stroking over the backs of your thighs before bunching your t-shirt up around your waist. “Gonna make it all go away, aren’t I? Is that what you need? You need me to take it all away?”
“Please.” You sound pathetic, but already it’s a sweeter sort of shame. One you can name. One you can love.
His fingers tuck under the cotton of your panties, hooking at the soft lace that adorns the edges, straightening them as though he’s adjusting the ribbon on a present he’s waited a very long time to receive.
“If I had to guess,” he hums, a little like the kindest bully you’ve ever known, “I’d wager your pretty pussy’s feeling lonely already. Maybe a little whiny. Maybe starting to swell…” his hands continue to pet at your ass, your thighs, your hips, “I love that, you know? Watching how puffy and swollen you get. It’s adorable…and fucking sexy. Your body begs without a sound.”
Your grip is twisting into the blanket beneath you now as your cheek nuzzles against the downy softness “Josh…”
“Quiet,” he bestows a single, much too delicate smack in the wrong place. It’s too far off to the side for your liking, and he knows it. “We’ll get there. You’re gonna listen first.”
An obedient nod tugs yet another delicious hum of approval from him and you squirm lightly under his hands, thrumming with pleasure at the sound of his validation.
“You’re alright, baby…” he’s being so gentle. Too gentle. But you would lie here beneath his hands and his gaze for all of eternity if that’s what would suit him. “My poor thing just needs it, doesn’t she? Busy little head needs to just leave…” a soft swat lands upon your cheek just below the waist, “her…” another, “alone,” and another.
“Harder, Josh…” it’s a piteous plea, one that pairs nicely with the honeyed, condescending melodies drifting off his tongue.
“Tell me what you’d like me to do to you.” He’s coaxing so kindly, but you know what lurks below that shiny surface. “Say the words, my darling doll. Say the words.”
With a deep, centering breath, you find the calm in your storm by way of his scent…eucalyptus and bergamot…woodsy hint of lemon soap lingering beneath. You find strength in his presence, and love there, too.
“Spank me.” It pants out of you like an urgent prayer. “Make it stop.”
As if in punctuation to your begging, he lands a harsh, loud, cracking strike against the fat of your ass. It comes quickly, shaking your equilibrium though this is exactly what you’ve been imploring him for.
“Fuck!” The curse pushes out of your lungs, long and grateful. Blindsided and aching.
Another blow lands in exactly the same place, setting the flesh there on fire. “Yeah? Fuck?” He taunts, “That’s a good fucking doll…you just take it.”
“More,” you’re rocking around, blissful at the pain and the twitching of his hard cock beneath you.
He begins laying into you without restraint, blow after blow raining down on you like merciful salvation. Your brain is numb now - quiet, hazy and clouded with his perfect wrath.
Tears are streaking like fire down your cheeks, a graven image of mother Mary sobbing blood in a candlelit room of worship come to life. He is your alter. He is your God.
“That’s my girl,” his accolades stutter out between smack after smack until he pauses to jerk your legs apart. “You’re dripping all over me. Baby needs it right here, too?” There is his touch, love and reverence woven into the very fingerprints nudging at your covered entrance. “Dirty little cunt needs a spanking, too, doesn’t she?”
Embarrassingly, a mumbled, indecipherable sound croaks out of you, and your entire body flushes hot with an indignity you happen to relish.
“What was that?” He sounds like sex…like he’s thinking with his throbbing cock - but if your mind’s eye could see straight, you would know better. He is careful and controlled in these moments. Never losing sight of himself, never risking a move too far. “Aw, poor doll is just a dumb little baby, now? Spanked all quiet and wet? I like that, beautiful. I like that very much. No thoughts, right? Shh, no thoughts.”
Again, you manage merely a sound, a murmuring of his name no one but yourself could ever transcribe.
A violent strike buries its way into your covered folds. You jolt and cry out, writhing against his thighs, fighting for more.
You want him inside in any capacity. Fingers, tongue, cock..it matters not, just inside. That’s the only word you seem to know in this moment - inside, inside, inside. But with another sound slap against your cunt, it explodes through your nerve endings like a wire kicking up sparks and skittering against desolate, lonely pavement. You’re climaxing hard and fast, releasing all over the fleece covering his thighs, thrusting against nothing, mourning the heat of his impact though it was there for but a breath.
“Yes!” It wails out of you, warbling and wild…teeth clenched and grinding, body wound so tightly your muscles will protest and complain later.
There will come a time tonight where you’ll long for a way to thank him. For a way to call his name and cradle his face and express your absolute gratitude for this blank slate he molds your mind into…for the way he takes all the ugly and chases it right out of your orbit…
But for now, you fall limp and spent against him. Breathing heavily and deeply. Drawing oxygen way down into your chest that no longer feels so tight. And for now he’ll hear no talk of reciprocation, for now he continues to cater to you with devotion in his touch and a worshipful cast in his gaze as he slips away to draw you a bath.
Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @poofyloofy @jakeslovehandles @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @gretasmokerising @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @thelvnternskeeper @paintmyhouse @mckenna4 @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @thewritingbeforesunrise @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordie-gvf-admin @calumspretty @sad1lynn @demolitionndann @gvfpal @starcatcher-jake
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silverflqmes · 5 months
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Any HCs for Sephiroth with an s/o that's afraid of thunder? 👀💖
໒⦂ 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀 𝐇𝐂𝐒.
notes. hi hi, i did my best to compile some headcanons, personally i think sephiroth might also be scared himself, so a little comfort will go his way too :’)
genre. hurt + comfort
sephiroth x gn!reader.
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⌗ the fear of thunder and lightning, otherwise known as astraphobia, is commonly shared among most and completely understandable to sephiroth whenever you find it in yourself to tell him.. unless you give yourself away on accident.
⌗ i feel that due to his enhanced senses and of all the bullshit hojo put him through, he might have developed a sensitivity to loud noises and flashes — but he has learnt to grit his teeth and bear it.
⌗ on some nights it can be a little harder for him, but he feels at ease if you are around and does his best to protect you since you are suffering from the same — if not, worse.
⌗ if you take it upon yourself to speak up about your fear, rest assured, it’s a judgment free zone. sephiroth neither has the place to judge, nor does he shun you for it because he understands it well and wishes to do all that he can to help you through your fear.
⌗ if you have difficulty telling him, trust me with how observant he is, he’s likely to put the pieces together pretty easily. but even still, he will wait until you are ready to tell him.
⌗ but if a thunderstorm comes and you have failed to do, he will take matters into his own hands and at the minute he catches wind of your discomfort.
⌗ it could be a flinch, the tiniest whimper, you ducking to cover your ears or a haphazard excuse to leave the room — but sephiroth will know.
⌗ he would give you a moment if you left the room, but when he doesn’t see you return, he will approach and either join you wherever you are hiding, no matter how small the space is ( this man will cram himself in there like a cat don’t underestimate him ), or pull you into his hold for you to hide in his chest while he soothes your shaking body with his touch.
⌗ from the day he discovered your fear, he would regularly check the weather, making sure to be home whenever a thunderstorm would take place to comfort you through it.
⌗ if he’s away or cannot be home on time from either a mission or meeting, he’s got you on speed dial and keeps you on call for however long you need.
⌗ if he cannot call you at all because fuck shinra sometimes ( all the time ), he took it upon himself to buy you one of those weighted anxiety plushies — or even a normal plush for you to cuddle to feel safe. personally i’m uh.. thinking a gray kitty with cerulean colored eyes to remind you of him :’) so that you feel like he’s still there in a sense.
⌗ another thing is maybe audio recordings of him ( probably just random stuff about his day and sweet nothings ) for you to listen to if you need to hear his voice in the case again, that he cannot be there or phone you.
⌗ throughout a thunderstorm, he would do his best to take your mind off it and make it a little more bearable if at all possible.
⌗ me personally, i like rain but i’m no good with thunderstorms that come with strong winds — the sounds give me a bit of ptsd, especially if i’m on my own. but i try to do things to take my mind off it, which i will list through sephiroth<3
⌗ thunder is a sound which can be solved by playing something over it. whether it’s a show, movie or music, even conversation — you bet your boyfriend is providing whatever he can to mask the unpleasant noises outside.
⌗ rainy days can be nice to get all bundled up in blankets with tea, hot coco or coffee — any warm beverage that you personally enjoy, and sephiroth is willing to use that as a way of making the storm a little easier to handle. pairing the experience with a good book or poetry is also nice — certainly if he offers to read to you. goodness his voice is so nice..
⌗ furthermore he has the curtains pulled in your shared apartment if you find it easier not to see what’s happening outside and he takes it upon himself to make homemade soup for dinner<3
⌗ when the storm drags into the evening, he takes you into his arms and holds you as tight as he possibly can, shielding you from the world beyond his windows.
⌗ even as you tremble and tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, you can hear sephiroth humming, the gentle and steady pitter patter of his heartbeat as he smooths a hand down your back. gradually, it relaxes you and your eyes begin to get heavy.
⌗ you hold on tight to your beloved, allowing his protective hold to envelope you wholly as you at last give into sleep, aware that he would keep you safe throughout the evening and remainder of the thunderstorm.
⌗ bonus for sephiroth.. on the rare occasions that his own fear gets the better of him, you do your best to muster whatever courage you can throw together and hold him closely.
⌗ you card your fingers through his silky hair, allowing him to bury his face in either your neck, shoulder, chest — wherever he feels most comfortable — as you rub his back as tenderly as possible, vowing to be there through the very end as he has with your moments of fear.
notes. i may have gotten a little too detailed and indulged a little more than i should have.. but i’m hoping it’s to your likings, tysm for requesting again<3
↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask
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starfallforest · 25 days
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Stop putting 'Too Sweet' by Hozier in your Sylus playlists
I am sorry—this was clickbait. I don’t actually care what you do with your life. But I need you to hear me out for just a second, okay? I am extremely not neurotypical about two things: Love and Deepspace, and Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. And I have seen more than one person in the tags talk about "Too Sweet" by Hozier being a perfect song for Sylus and MC. My only discourse about this is that Too Sweet is a song about a man who makes continuous self-sabotaging life decisions being incompatible with a partner who has her life put together. In my humble opinion, both Sylus and MC are hot messes of people in completely different ways. Anyway, it’s a good song so I don’t blame you for putting it in every playlist ever. In fact, you should. But if you're into this song, I want to show you a couple more pls pls pls 🙏​
I might just be autistic, but both Hozier's music and Love and Deepspace have something extremely important in common… and that’s BEAUTIFUL MEN YEARNING!!!1 And that’s not even to mention the haunting, raw sexuality we can project onto the stories that each of these things feeds to us. That's why I needed to make this post on the 1% chance that someone might hop on this brainrot train with me. So let me present, for just a moment of your time (if you're willing): other Hozier songs that fit Sylus so well I want to combust about it.
De Selby (Parts 1 & 2):
“At last, when all of the world is asleep You take in the blackness of air The likes of a darkness so deep That God—at the start—couldn't bear.” [azlyrics] [gaelic translation]
Imagine just casually writing THE love song that so beautifully says, “Before you were in my life, I kinda understood how God felt before he created the universe.” Excuse me? Andrew just dropped this stanza on us without so much as a cw: fuck you. And if that sickening portrait of gnawing loneliness isn’t enough, we have all the Genesis God references. Since all the LIs in the game are at some point likened to gods or rivaling gods with their power, then add the reverberating instrumentals and chillingly slow vocals in this 2-minute killer, tell me how this song does not fit Sylus. Not only that, but we also have imagery of his lover descending upon him like the night (which is invoked during Part 1 in the Gaelic verse), and I know that’s on the nose for Sylus but come on. I need you guys writing smut to have an orgasm during De Selby (at least Part 2) because it might change ur brain chemistry I'm just saying.
“When you fall on me like night—I wanna kill the lights.” [azlyrics]
This song still rules irt its playing with darkness symbolism, but it also refers to the darkness in the singer’s lover—which in Sylus’ case is MC and we all were there when she shot the guy in the heart like his freaky eye was telling her: “And your heart, love, has such darkness—I feel it in the corners of the room…” my goddddddd stop right there I can’t handle the METAPHORrrr. You think Sylus gives a flying fuck about MC’s frivolous morality bullshit? No he wants her to embrace her own darkness, sit under the blankies with him and cuddle after doing crimes and a beat poetry session. This is some fucking Hannibal Lecter beyond-dark-romance shit. I’m not even trying to write a dissertation here (and yet…)
Talk (from Wasteland, Baby!):
“I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of, That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marveling at God… Imagine being loved by me.” [azlyrics]
Not only does this song utilize insane Greek mythology metaphor and Biblical comparison but the overall meaning of it is, “I want you so bad, I need to speak poetically to hide how down bad I am for you.” That sounds kinda like Old World Sylus and all his pretty nicknames to me.
NFWMB:
“If I was born as a black thorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, Fuel the pyre of your enemies… Ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames?” [azlyrics]
This whole song just some hard, deep and steady yearning for 4 and a half minutes. Are you kidding? The acronym in the title stands for Nothing Fucks With My Baby, which is sung in the chorus like some quietly violent war chant—soft, dark, and powerful. Anyway don’t tell me Mr. Sylus “Give me a list and then go to bed. I’ll take care of it” Loveanddeepspace wouldn’t scorch the earth for the love of his life—or do one better and stand by her side while she scorches the earth herself; here’s the protective/supportive mans anthem you ordered babes.
It Will Come Back:
“I know who I am when I'm alone—I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need.” [azlyrics]
This song has repeated imagery that warns of the dangers of taking care of a feral animal, and then compares the feral animal to the singer as a lover. Like fuck off, that’s sexy and haunted. And we know that not only does Sylus love animals more than people, but he’s pretty animalistic himself if we are to believe that maybe he’s secretly a demon or something.
Arsonist’s Lullaby:
“Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.” [azlyrics]
Remember in Lost Oasis when MC goes on some tangent wondering what Sylus' past was like? Well it was this song. It's about troubled youth and learning to grow in your darkness. Also how cool is that imagery of demons? Hey Sylus, what do you have to say about demons? I'll wait. In the meantime I'm tattooing this shit on my clavicle
BONUS ROUND Through Me:
“Everytime I’d burn through the world, I’d see that the world—it burns through me.”
We got a man and we got some fire allusions so there ya go.
Blood Upon the Snow:
“To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence.”
Blood upon the snow—it's red and white! Red!! And white!!! Also kind of a Sylus x Zayne anthem lbr
Ok I hope you found another song that inspires you to make Sylus art or fanfic with!! And before you ask, yes I've already assigned Hozier songs to every other love interest in the game. Ok thanks for reading!!! 🏃‍♀️​💨​
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joshym · 11 months
Text
Le Morte d'Arthur: Chapter 1
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Paring: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader
Summary: It all began with a passion for literature. What was once a dream to walk the halls of the University of Michigan is now a reality.
You thought you were prepared for everything.
A new town, a new school, a new way of life,
but what you were not prepared for…
was meeting the enigma that is Jake Kiszka.
Word Count: 8.8k+
Warnings: (for this chapter) mentions of stress & anxiety, mentions of a broken home, mentions of an ill, disabled parent, mentions of an oxygen tank & medications, jake is an asshole, (if I missed anything, please let me know)
a/n: it's here! i can't begin to express how excited i am to share this with everyone. this story has been in the works for quite some time now, & it's been such a joy to write. i sincerely hope you all love it. please don't be afraid to let me know what you think. 🤍
also, huge thank you to @jakeyt for being the best editor, & being my right hand in helping create this. i seriously couldn't have done it without you. love you SO much. you're the best sister i could ever ask for.
⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎
As you walk up the stone steps of Angell Hall, you feel as though you’re walking into a book filled with ancient Greek Mythology. The pillars that resemble the Parthenon temple, the delicate stone work motifs that portray Athena's owl and Pegasus; you’ve truly never felt more at home than you do at this very moment as you take your first steps inside the building that houses the English Literature courses. The inside is rich with artwork personifying poetry and myth. The intricate neoclassical design of the ceilings, complete with gold leafing and imperial medallions. The most incredible building you’ve ever seen, and one of the many reasons you decided to make the transfer to the University of Michigan.
It’s been no easy feat to get here. In fact, it’s been damn near impossible. It’s by the skin of your teeth that you’re here today, walking the very halls of your dream school.
The road to get here has been hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. You’ve saved every last penny to afford the move here, while trying to take care of your mom and her declining health. It didn’t help that your dad decided it was all too much for him and left a year ago, leaving the two of you alone with hardly the means to afford even the bare necessities. With two full time jobs, online classes at some bullshit university, and tending to your mom’s every need for the last year, it’s a fucking miracle you’re standing here today. 
It’s only been a month since you received your acceptance letter in the mail. You worked your ass off the last two years maintaining a 4.0 gpa to be sure you’d be accepted. You’d applied back in January and waited six excruciating months to hear back, obsessively checking the mail at least three times a day. 
One day, you noticed a rather large, crumpled envelope stuffed in your tiny mailbox. It was wet from a rainstorm that had hit earlier that day, but you could still make out the sender information. 
The University of Michigan
515 East Jefferson St. 
1220 Student Activities Building
Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1316
You knew that the contents of this envelope would seal your fate for the next two years. You were hesitant at first to open, scared of rejection. You let it sit for a few hours before finally ripping it open as quickly as your fingers would allow.
You pulled out the sopping piece of cardstock, stamped with a golden “M” at the top left corner.
Congratulations, y/n! 
You’re in! We are pleased to inform you that you are admitted to the University of Michigan College of Literature, Science and the Arts Junior class entering fall of 2023.
Within two weeks of receiving the letter, you and your mom packed up what little you had and left the sleepy town of Cherry Tree, Oklahoma. 
Up until now, you’d lived in this tiny town your entire life. You’ve been so ready to leave, to find adventure elsewhere that would allow you to spread your wings. You’d been held back there for so long. You knew it was time, and as much as she could, your mother supported your choice to leave and she was eager herself to get away.
You managed to secure a low income apartment in Ann Arbor that has accommodations for those with disabilities. It’s a shithole. But it’s your shithole. 
You’re solely responsible for any and all bills as your mom isn’t fit to work. You’ve got enough saved up to last about a month, so one of your first priorities is to find a job that will sustain you. 
Right now, though, your current goal is to find your first class in this massive building. It’s intimidating. Everyone here is walking past you in a hurry to get where they need to go as you’re stuck, still trying to figure out where room 3182 is. There aren’t signs anywhere to help guide you through the utter maze that is Angell Hall. You haven’t the slightest clue of where to start.
You try asking a few people, only to be met with vague points in general directions, or people simply telling you ‘up stairs.’
Where are the damn stairs? 
You start trekking along in an attempt to find them, when you see a large wooden door that’s cracked open just enough to see, finally, a staircase. 
Some progress.
Making your way to the third floor, you assume you’ve finally found where your class will be when you look at a room number… and it says ‘2548.’ 
Dammit. 
You head back to the stairs to make your way up to the next floor, and to your relief, the class numbers all begin with a three. 
You head down the long, dimly lit hallway in frantic search for room 3182, to no avail. The hallway has so many twists and turns with no guidance for direction. There may as well be a scarecrow with arms pointing in all directions saying ‘this way!’
You’re stuck yet again, unsure of where to go. You assume everyone is in their respective classes as the hall is barren, so there’s not a soul to ask. With only two minutes until class begins, you’re nearing the point of giving up. 
Anything is better than waltzing into class late on your first day, no less your first day at a university where no one knows you. What a fantastic first impression to make.
Suddenly, a man comes barging down the hall towards you. He looks a bit unapproachable, wearing a large brimmed black hat on top of his shoulder length hair, sunglasses that mimic ones worn by John Lennon in the seventies and a matching all black ensemble of linen pants and a button up, with only the last few buttons actually secured. He jingles as he moves due to an obnoxious number of necklaces sitting on his bare chest.
You’re not sure you want to bother him but desperate times call for asking strange men for directions.
“Hi, excuse me. Could you tell me where room-”
Without even acknowledging your basic existence, he seems to be in a hurry as he slams into you, knocking your brown canvas bag off your shoulder and effectively dumping everything out of it. 
“Sorry,” he mumbles as he quickly turns the corner, not even bothering to help you pick up the mess he’s created.
“John Lennon wannabe motherfucker,” you mutter under your breath as you bend down to gather your belongings. 
You hear footsteps coming closer to you, thinking just maybe he's decided to come back and make amends.
“Sorry about him, girl.” 
You glance up just as she’s kneeling down, offering to help with your scattered books.
“Don’t pay him any mind. He thinks he walks on water,” she says as she helps you shove the last of them in your bag, now all disheveled and out of your perfect order. 
“God, thank you so much. Would you happen to know where room 3182 is? I haven’t the slightest clue where I’m going.” 
“Just keep going down the hall until you reach the bathroom, take a left and it’s the second room on the right,” she says, with a warm smile.
You thank her again and quickly head in that direction.
At last, you breathe a sigh of relief as you approach room 3182.
With a deep breath, you open the door to the massive lecture hall that appears more like an auditorium with its pitched floor.  
All eyes are on you, the room dead silent as the professor glares at you. 
“I’m so sorry I’m late, I had the worst time-”
“No matter. Just take your seat and do it quickly,” he cuts you off.
You scan the room in search of an empty seat as everyone continues to silently stare at you, eyes burning holes in your soul.
This is exactly what you wanted to avoid.
Finally you spot one on the far right corner of the room. Swiftly heading towards it, you make a horrid discovery.
Mr. John Lennon wannabe is in the seat right next to the empty one. 
Of fucking course.
Grudgingly, you take your seat next to him. He shifts his body slightly away from you as you situate yourself, letting out a long, dramatic sigh once you're settled.
You decide to try and humble him with your southern hospitality, asking his name with a kind smile, to which he only responds by cocking his head in your general direction and not bothering to answer you.
What an ass.
“Now that it seems we finally have everyone here, let’s get things started. Welcome to English 450, The Quest for King Arthur. My name is Dr. Movack and I will be your instructor throughout the semester.” 
You start pulling out all of your books on King Arthur, annoyed that some of them now have bent pages thanks to the mysterious man wearing all black sitting to your left.
“One of the requirements to be accepted in this class, aside from the prerequisite courses, is to have more than just the basic knowledge of Arthurian lore.” Dr. Movack continues, “Taking that into account, there is no need to waste time in starting from the beginning. However, I would like to take a moment to test your knowledge. Each person who answers correctly will receive a point towards extra credit.” 
Dr. Movack begins going around the room, asking everyone basic questions and facts about King Arthur when he finally gets to you.
“I would like you to tell me which text offers the earliest reference to Arthur.” 
With booming confidence, you answer, “I believe it’s around the 7th century when he is briefly mentioned in the poem titled Y Gododdin.”
The John Lennon look alike on your left lets out an obnoxiously loud chuckle while shaking his head.
“Dr. Movack, it’s a well known fact that Arthur isn’t specifically mentioned until Historia Brittonum in the 9th century. She’s clearly wrong,” he blurts out. 
You know your stuff when it comes to this lore. You’ve studied it for the better part of your life and you’ll be damned if you let this man who, for whatever reason has developed a vendetta against you, try to outwit you.
“No, you are wrong. You obviously haven’t read the poem or you’d know he’s named when referencing the bravery of Gwawrddur.”
He waves his palm in your face in an attempt to silence you, the gesture causing your lip to curl in frustration. “Tell her, Dr. Movack. Tell her she’s wrong and has no idea what she’s talking about.” He asserts.
Talking about you instead of to you is a great way to piss you off and he’s on the right path towards it. His refusal to even look at you has you nearly in flames with rage.
“What’s your name, miss?” Dr. Movack asks.
“Y/n,” you respond.
Your heart is thumping out of your chest as you await the professor's response.
“It seems there may be someone here who knows even more than you, Kiszka.” Lennon’s jaw nearly hits the desk beneath him. “Y/n is absolutely right. Y Gododdin does, in fact, mention Arthur. The introduction is so slight that it’s often missed, but scholars argue that this piece does indeed contain the first true reference.” 
Even through his obnoxious sunglasses, you can see the frustration painted on his face. Proving him wrong in front of the whole class serves him right. 
Poetic justice at its finest.
You laugh through your nose and give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back, anticipating more praise from Dr. Movack when he says “However, miss, you will not receive your point for being late to my class.”
Lennon cackles at this, of course, feeling he’s somehow won this educational battle.
He answers his question correctly, receiving his point and commendation from Dr. Movack. 
He sits back in his chair, arms crossed with a smug face, wearing a ‘kiss my ass’ grin on his lips.
You just roll your eyes and look the other direction, envisioning yourself ripping those ridiculous sunglasses off his face. 
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Something you’re not used to yet, and perhaps will never get used to, is the Detroit traffic. Stuck in your beat to hell ‘92 Firebird in bumper to bumper traffic, you’re at a near standstill as you’re desperate to get home after a long day of classes. What should only be a fifteen minute drive home has already lasted more than thirty, and you’ve hardly moved an inch.
You’re sitting in silence as you don’t even have the luxury of the radio to keep you company. You’re lucky enough that this car even runs with as much shit as it’s been through. A hand-me-down from a hand-me-down, losing parts and gusto after each set of hands it passes through. You figure you’ll be the last to drive it before it meets its timely end in the very near future.  
WIthout much else to preoccupy you at the moment, your mind is wandering with recollection of your first day at the school you’ve had your sights set on since your first comprehensible memory. Feeling like a fish out of water would be the most comfortable way to describe your day. It goes far beyond that. 
You know it’ll take some time to settle. But you’re afraid that time won’t fix the fact that you may not truly belong here. You’ve never really fit in anywhere, even in your tiny hometown that you’d lived in your whole life. You were never fully accepted there, so what makes you think you’d be accepted here? You’d always felt so isolated in Cherry Tree, too small of a town to feel such a way. Now, you have the intimidation of a rather large city to amplify your isolation.
Aside from the nightmare that was finding your first class and the man who made you late to it, your other classes went about as well as you could’ve hoped for. You’d still managed to get lost a fair amount, but on the brightside, you’d found the campus coffee shop so you had been able to stay there for a while this afternoon.
The man, who you can only refer to as Lennon given he so rudely refused to give you his first name, was also studying in the coffee shop today, much to your dismay. 
And the way he’d locked eyes with you for a brief moment before quickly looking away…
You were not sure why, but now, you can’t pry him from your ambulant mind. Something about him, aside from his insolent demeanor, is oddly enticing. He’s dark, almost mystifying. There are secrets in the air he breathes. Whether or not you want to know them, you can’t quite decide. Nonetheless, you’re intrigued.
Traffic finally begins to move at a steady pace, breaking your trance and causing your disoriented image of him to return to one filled with anger.  
Mystifying or not, he was an ass for absolutely no reason. You’ve made up your mind that you will never give him the time of day again. 
You pull into the parking lot of your apartment complex, your car sputtering its cry of exhaustion as you’ve put it to the ultimate test far too many times lately. 
“I need you to hang on just a little longer, old friend.” You say as you throw the gear shift in park. “Just a little longer, then we’ll lay your heaping metal bones to rest.” 
You trek up the stairs to your apartment, stopping at door 264. You smile as you look down to see “Don’t Knock Unless You Brought Wine” stitched on the doormat beneath your feet. Your mom insisted on it, and as ridiculous as you think it is, you’re grateful for the smile it’s brought to your tired face. 
You search through your disarranged canvas bag for your key, silently cursing the fact that it’s not in its designated spot.
Finally spotting the shining silver, you pull it out and twist it in the rusted bolt to open the door.
Your mom is sprawled out on the couch, her oxygen tank filling the quiet apartment with a subtle humming. The living room television is on some old sitcom she loves with the volume muted, as per usual for her.
You don’t want to wake her, as it’s imperative that she gets as much rest these days as she can. You keep as quiet as possible while heading to the kitchen to start dinner for the two of you.
You decide on something simple; bowtie pasta with alfredo and grilled chicken. 
Your mom always had a knack for all things culinary. Her skill remains unmatched, although it’s not as easy for her these days.
You sadly missed out on that trait from her. You’re lucky if you don’t burn the water. But, over the course of her illness becoming increasingly debilitating, you’ve taught yourself some easy and quick recipes to get by. 
You spoon a healthy amount of pasta on each of your plates, even garnishing them with a few basil leaves for a little aesthetic.
You pour yourself a much needed glass of merlot before taking your mom’s plate to her. 
You gently wake her by carefully nudging her hand. 
“Dinners ready, mom. I hope it’s okay.”
She slowly begins to stir awake, looking happy to see you as you sit next to her. “I’m sure it’ll be great. Thank you, sweetie.” You help her to sit up and get stabilized before handing her her plate. “How was your first day?” She tries not to wince as she takes her first bite. Her years of being a culinary expert have made her awfully picky when it comes to food, but she’s never once outwardly complained about your cooking. Although you can tell she’s less than impressed, she would never tell you that. She knows you’re trying your best and she’s so grateful for it, especially since your dad left.
“It was alright, I guess.” You take your first bite and instantly understand her initial aversion to it. Undercooked noodles and over cooked chicken. You’re glad it’s not the other way around this time.
“Just alright?” she asks.
You don’t have the heart to tell her how draining today truly was, so you just tell her that classes were a little stressful but that it really was a great day.
You switch the subject and talk about the beauty of the campus and how badly you wish she could see it. “Maybe someday,” she says.
You want nothing more than to get her out of this dingy apartment for a day and take her around, to show her the wonder of the city. It’s been incredibly difficult watching battle her illness. She seems to grow weaker with each passing day. Although she tries to conceal it from you, you know your mom, and you can see her deteriorate before your very eyes. It breaks your heart in a million pieces, but you still hold out  hope that she will get better someday. 
Hope is all you have.
Until then, you just try to enjoy each and every moment you share with her.
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You’re situated outside of room 3182 nearly thirty minutes early this morning, drinking your steaming coffee and reading House of Leaves that was assigned to you yesterday in your Classic Horror course. 
The real inescapable horror, however, would be sitting next to him again, so you’re here early to avoid the unnecessary cruelty you faced the other day. 
Taking advantage of your extra time, you allow yourself to become immersed in the daunting novel. 
You read of a man on a slow descent to insanity, discovering a manuscript that details a home that transforms on the inside, yet stays the same on the outside.
Unlit hallways that continue for ages, doors appearing where they hadn’t been before. An architectural conundrum, this house.
The words in the book appear in strange prints, some pages with them upside down, placed in strange patterns; some pages with no words at all.
The word “House” is always in the color blue, even on the cover. 
The novel both fascinates you and terrifies you all at once, having read it twice before. You’ve yet to make your own interpretations on this book as they seem to change with each read. A bit of a mindfuck, as it were.
Just as you’re diving head first into the maddening depths of Danielewski's story, you hear keys jingling followed by the door to the classroom opening. 
You’d been so lost in your book you hadn’t even noticed that most of the students had joined you in the hall, waiting for class to begin.
You’re the first to head inside, much to Dr. Movack’s shock. You take your seat in the front row near the podium, the furthest one away from where you assume Lennon will sit.
The rest of the class piles in, taking their respective seats and gearing up for class. Here comes Lennon, clad in all black once again– sunglasses and all. He walks right past you, humoring you by ignoring your presence. 
Good. Keep walking. 
As more students pile in, you notice one mindlessly walking towards you before he abruptly stops and eyes you in your seat. You simply smile and nod as he stands there with a curious look about him. 
He slowly walks away, leaving you a bit puzzled but you choose to ignore it.
The hands on the antique brass wall clock strike 10:00 am, and you notice Dr. Movack is still out in the hall speaking with someone. Of whom, you can’t quite tell.
You and the rest of the class wait patiently, when finally Dr. Movack walks in, but he’s not alone. He’s with the student who glared strangely at you just moments ago. 
The student is standing near the professor, as if he has something to say, when Dr. Movack clears his throat and begins speaking. 
“I feel I needn't say this, but it’s clear some of you aren’t aware of how things are done around here, so I will say it this once so that we all understand. Once you choose your seat on the first day of class, that becomes your designated seat for the remainder of the semester. It is disruptive to your fellow classmates to decide to take the seat they specifically chose as their throne for learning.”
Your chest tightens and your face becomes flush with unease. 
You know instantly that he’s talking about you. 
“So, I will end this here: if you are not sitting in the spot you chose on the first day of class, I suggest you move to said spot immediately so we can get started with our business.”
Shit.
You’re utterly humiliated as you slowly stand up, you being the only one to stand up and making it abundantly clear to everyone in class that you were the cause of this.
You take your things and move to the spot you so desperately wanted to avoid, right next to Lennon who is covering his mouth with his hand, giggling at your shame.
The student standing by Dr. Movack takes his rightful seat as you take yours.
The class you had been most excited for this semester is quickly turning out to be the one you wished you had never signed up for.
You made a terrible impression on the first day by being late, and now on the second day of this class, you’ve broken an unspoken rule that you had no previous knowledge of. All of that topped off with the man sitting next to you who has made his distaste for you rather clear… the only thought tormenting your mind is how badly you wish you could crawl in a hole and never have to show your face in this class ever again.
“I have an important announcement,” declares Dr. Movack as he takes post behind his podium. “Through the entirety of this course, you will be working on a semester-long project relating to the appropriation of Arthurian legend. This project is fairly at your liberty, meaning there are very few stipulations for you to follow.”
Okay, this is something you can handle. Something to sink your teeth into, something you know you’ll excel at. 
“This will not be a solo project, however.”
Oh no.
“There are exactly fifty students in this class, so you will be paired in twos for a total of twenty five projects.”
Please no.
“As far as who you will be assigned with, that is very simple. The person seated next to you is who you will work with for the remainder of the semester.”
With Lennon being the very last seat in your row, and you being directly next to him, this means…he will  be your partner. For the entire semester. 
You were cursed from the first day you stepped foot in this room and had to sit next to him. Fate would have it so things would not work in your favor, it appears. 
“This project is not to be taken lightly as it is worth sixty percent of your final grade. Everything in this class will lead up to it, so I suggest you take your readings very seriously.”
He will ruin this for you, no fucking doubt. 
He won’t even give you the grace of telling you his first name, and now you have to work on a huge project with him for four months? A project worth more than half of your grade? 
That hole you debated on crawling in is sounding better and better by the minute.
“Well, guess that makes us partners.” To your disbelief, Lennon speaks his first words to you in lieu of his typical 'at you' approach. “The nice thing is that it guarantees me a good grade.” 
“Is that your way of admitting I know more about this than you do, Kiszka?” you snark. He cocks an eyebrow above his black lenses as you dare to utter his last name.  
“Not quite.” He snorts a condescending chuckle, “I can tell you’re the type to work towards the best grade possible, hence, ensuring my success in the process. Shall I thank you now or later?”
Lennon’s got you there.
You take projects like these rather seriously, and this one will be no exception. As much as you’d love to set him up for failure, that would warrant your failure right along with him. 
It’s the perfect scenario for him and a living nightmare for you.
Lovely.
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You walk through the open doors of the lecture hall for your next class, spotting yet another familiar face amongst the students, only this one much more kind and welcoming. 
You recognize her as the kind soul who helped you the other day when your bag was senselessly knocked off your shoulder by your favorite Lennon impersonator. 
“Hey!” she says as she notices you, “Come sit next to me!”
You’re nearly taken away by her beauty as you sit beside her, finally able to get a better look at her this time.
Her glowing caramel skin, her eyes light and honest with a sepia tone, her dark brown curls that are unruly yet flawlessly styled, held perfectly on top of her head with the most beautiful satin scarf. 
“Thank you again for helping me the other day. You’re a saint for that.” You hang your book bag on the back of your chair, pulling out its contents for class. “You’ll never believe this, but that guy that slammed into me with no remorse, he’s in my class. The one that he made me so late for. And because of that, we’re partnered together for a semester-long project.” 
“Ah yes, Jake,” she says under a giggle, adjusting her dark green, slouchy sweater off her toned shoulder. “He’s something else, that’s for sure. He’s got a good heart but he covers it with that mysterious, dark facade that he thinks makes him look so cool.” 
Alas, Lennon does have a first name after all. Although, you prefer the nickname you’ve given him. 
“Well, Jake has made it rather clear that I am not his favorite person and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I’m not sure how we’ll manage to make it through this semester together with his shitty attitude.”
She hums under her breath, slowly shaking her head as if to say ‘just you wait.’
“My name’s Natalia. Where’d you fly in from?”
The way her name rolls off her tongue with her slight accent is nothing short of beautiful.
“Just a miniscule town in Oklahoma. Is it really that obvious that I’m not from here?” you answer in a hushed tone, half embarrassed to admit such a thing.
She grins as she sings a few words from the title track from the beloved Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, showcasing her stark white teeth that compliment her glowing, tanned skin perfectly.
“I hate to tell you Ms. Oklahoma, but you do kind of stick out like a sore thumb,” she quips. 
Having gone from a small, southern town to the outskirts of Detroit, you’re bound to look like an outsider until the culture shock wears off, much to your discontent. 
As much as you wish you could quickly adapt and easily blend in, it’s just not possible. Your face twinges as you remember your first day, specifically that one class you’d care to not mention any further. 
“Welcome, students, to Women in Literature. My name is Dr. Lacey and I’ll be your instructor through the duration of this course.” 
Class begins and you both submerge yourself in a study that’s particularly important to each of you.
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“I can’t call you Ms. Oklahoma forever, you know.” 
You and Natalia have the rest of the day free from classes, so you decided to walk with her to the Central Campus library to do some studying.
“I guess you’re right,” you say through a laugh. “My name is y/n.”
You walk across the large courtyard full of lush green grass, intricate steel benches and the most lovely hydrangeas colored a deep purple. 
The Michigan landscape is a far cry from anything you had ever seen in Oklahoma. Everything's so green and flourished, so full of life. Vibrant colors paint the scenery in the most beautiful vision. 
The weather is nearly perfect, with the temperatures never exceeding the mid seventies and the humidity far below the excruciating levels of the southern states. 
You’re in awe as you go day to day with the sheer beauty of the nature that surrounds you. 
Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, your curiosity begins to take over your every thought. Jake Kiszka. Your semester-long partner. You need to know more about him, as much as you attempt to relinquish the desire.
You finally build up the courage to ask. “So, how do you know him?”
She looks at you upon your inquiry, squinting her eyes as she studies your face. “Who, Jake?” She says with a sinister grin about her. 
“Yes, Jake. What is it about him that he feels the need to treat people like they’re beneath him?”
“Ah, Sir Jacob,” she says. “He’s a bit of an enigma, I guess you could say. And yes, he is single.” She throws you a wink as you stare at her with utter disgust at her wisecrack.
“I do not care if he’s single,” you respond, causing her to snort a chuckle. 
“I’ve known the guy for years. We go all the way back to the golden days of our youth. He and his twin brother graduated high school a year before me, and their younger brother was a year below me.” A twin? There’s two of him? “I’ve known their family for the better part of my life. Good people, truly. I can’t begin to tell you how much they’ve helped my family and me.”
You’ve only just met him, but the words ‘good’ and ‘Jake’ don’t seem to belong in the same sentence. 
“Incidentally enough, his twin, Josh, and my brother, Malachi, have been partners since they graduated together. So, they’re kind of my family, too.” You walk up the steps to the library as she holds the large wooden door open for you.“I promise you, y/n. He’s not all bad. You’ve just seen what he projects to people he doesn’t know. Like I said, he thinks it makes him look cool.”
Your thoughts momentarily stop as you take your first steps into the library. You’re in shock. Though, you shouldn’t be. Every single building you’ve stepped foot into on this campus is absolutely immaculate, and the library is no exception.
It’s almost bewitching, with thousands of books lining the walls, reaching chandeliers that seem to hang from the clouds at their height. 
The alluring musty scent of aged novels fill your senses and take you back to a time long since forgotten. 
It’ll be far too tempting to spend all of your time here, getting lost in the pages that fill the space of grandeur.
You’ve been stuck in a near trance by the beauty surrounding you, you hadn’t even noticed that Natalia moved behind the circulation desk.
“It’s also his way of keeping his guard up. It’s rare that anyone gets to discover the true Jacob,” she says as she types away at the computer sitting at the desk.
“Um, Natalia?” You quietly ask. “Should you be back there?”
She laughs as she takes in your slightly terrified expression, “Well I would say so, ya know, since it’s the start of my shift.”
“You work here?” How could anyone be so lucky as to work in such an immaculate setting?
“It’s a pretty sweet gig. It’s not the most thrilling job but it’s nice and quiet. I get to spend my days among books, and the tuition break is a pretty nice incentive.” She secures her gold plated magnetic name badge to sweater, making her look rather official.
A job on campus would be utter perfection for you. You’ll be spending a vast majority of your time here anyways, and the tuition break would be a significant help in your situation. 
“Do you happen to know of any other jobs on campus that are hiring?” you ask, almost embarrassed, but you have a feeling you can trust her. “I’m kind of in a pinch to find something soon. Desperate, actually.”
She rests her chin between her index finger and thumb, seeming to ponder your question. “I know of a few,” she says. “One that just so happens to be in this very library, if you’re interested.” Her voice carries an almost sarcastic tone, she knows you’re interested. 
“Oh my god, are you serious? I would love to work here!” you say.
“I figured you would.” She rummages through the credenza and pulls out a sheet of paper entitled ‘Employment Application’ and sets it on the desk in front of you. 
“Go ahead and fill this out, and I’ll consider putting in a good word for you.” She winks at you as she hands you a pen. 
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Classes have become increasingly difficult. It’s nothing you can’t handle, but you find it hard to make time for much of anything outside of work and school. 
You started your new job at the library one week ago today. You pick up as many shifts as possible, mostly evenings and nights as your days are taken up with your classes. The library stays open until ten o’clock, so most nights you don’t get home until at least ten thirty. 
You set aside a little time after class everyday to run home and take care of your mom before work, making her dinner and being sure her nightly medications are set out before you head back to campus.
As busy as you are, you truly love your job and you’re immensely excited about your studies.
Your friendship with Natalia has bloomed beautifully over the last week. 
You’re so grateful for her. She has been your saving grace lately as this last week has been a bit treacherous. Her companionship has been a major help in your adjustment to this new way of life and your somewhat rigorous schedule.
Jake, on the other hand–well, things are about the same. You’ve set aside your pride a few times this week in an attempt to get along with him for the sake of your project, but he just brushed you off, every single time. 
This project is massive, and not having it started yet, or even having a single idea about what you’ll do with it, is giving you serious anxiety. 
The tension with him seems to grow by the day and you’re almost at the end of your rope with it. You don’t know how to fix it, but you need to figure out something soon so you can bury this unnecessary hatchet and focus on your shared assignment.
After running home to make dinner for your mom and tend to a few chores, you make it back to campus just in time to begin your shift.
Tonight, you’re in charge of contacting students with missing books and tacking on late fees to their accounts if necessary. 
You’re sitting at the computer, scrolling through the seemingly endless list of students and calling them to let them know of the fees they’ve accrued. 
Most of them are rather displeased with you upon your notice, some of them even giving you a small piece of their mind before abruptly hanging up on you. 
You make phone call after phone call, trekking through the list organized alphabetically by last name.
At last, you’ve made it to the end of the J’s. Your task for the evening was to make it halfway through the list, and you’re nearly there as you begin contacting students whose last names begin with K. 
Upon reading the name of the next student, your heart sinks to the pit of your stomach.
Kiszka, Jacob T (1): Le Morte d’Arthur (Norton Critical Edition) - Mallory
“You can’t be serious,” you mumble.
You debate on ‘accidentally’ skipping him, but you don’t want anything to jeopardize your brand new job.
You have to call him, and you’re not looking forward to it.
You suddenly hear the voice of your boss in the back of your mind, “It’s proper etiquette to always state your name when calling students, so be sure to introduce yourself with each call you make.” 
You quickly make up your mind that you will not mention your name during your call to him. The last thing you need is any more awkward air between you two.
You dial his number and wait, listening to the ominous ringing from the other end. 
Your eyes are pinched shut, your palms sticky with sweat as you secretly hope he doesn’t answer. 
Then, the ringing comes to a stop, “Hello?”
Shit. 
“Is this Jacob?” You use your best professional tone, hoping to disguise your voice as much as you can.
“This is he,” he responds, the statement ending in more of a question.
“Hi, Jacob. This is y/n with the Central Campus Library.”
Fuck.
You throw your head in your hand, mentally cursing yourself for letting your name slip through. Maybe he didn’t notice, you think to yourself.
There’s an uncomfortable silence for a moment before you clear your throat and continue speaking.
“I’m calling about your overdue copy of Le Morte d’Arthur.”
“Y/n? Aren’t you in my class?” he asks.
So much for him not noticing. 
Ignoring his question, you proceed “It looks like you checked it out over the summer and it’s now twenty eight days overdue. Per policy, there has been a fee of seven dollars and fifty cents added to your account. If it is not returned by the thirty one day mark, you will receive anoth-” 
He patronizingly cuts you off before you can finish, “You’re in Movack’s class, huh? You sit right next to me.” 
With a sigh of frustration, you finish telling him that he must return it within three days or he’ll receive a much heftier fee.
“Yeah, okay. We’ll see about that,” he says before hanging up on you. His short tone has infuriated you beyond belief.
“Asshole,” you exclaim as you slam the phone down on the receiver causing a booming echo to erupt throughout the building. Luckily, the only other person here with you is Natalia. She’s been in the back sorting books while you’ve been dealing with overdue rentals.
Her boisterous laughter adds to the echoing bouncing off the walls. “I heard that,” she yells.
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You’re especially dreading Dr. Movacks class today after your phone call with Jake last night. You know for a fact that things will be even more tense with him today, and you’re just not in the mood to deal with it.
The exhaustion from everything piled on your plate has really begun to set in. Jake is the last thing you want to worry about. With each unpleasant interaction with him, your impatience grows to new levels.
With the support of your large cold brew in hand, you gather the nerve to walk into class. 
“So you work at the library, huh?” Jake says as you take your seat. 
“Yep,” you say in response. You pull out your phone and scroll mindlessly, giving him the hint that you’re less than interested in talking with him.
Class begins, and Dr. Movack starts his lecture on Arthurian timelines. You’re trying to pay close attention, but you find yourself becoming increasingly distracted– by Jake. 
He smells so good– a mix of sandalwood and vanilla. You’ve noticed it before, but for some reason it’s particularly exhilarating today. 
You chalk it up to delusion from fatigue and force yourself to pay attention to the lecture. 
But fuck if it isn’t hard has hell to ignore. 
You reach for your coffee, glancing Jake's way when you make yet another intrusive realization.
The way he grips his pen so tightly– the veins in his hand and forearm protrude in the most captivating way. 
Your eyes slowly follow a trail to his pecks, the curve of them seen just beneath his partially open, black—of course—button down. You watch them tense slightly with each word he writes. 
Dr. Movack ends the lecture and you suddenly realize you’ve been staring far too long.  
“Can I help you?”  
You’re instantly mortified at him catching your stare. Desperate to find any excuse, you happen to see his copy of Le Morte d’Arthur sitting underneath his notebook. Thank god. 
“Your book,” you point to the novel. “You need to return it.” 
He huffs a laugh as he takes his sunglasses off, leaving you stunned. This is the first time you’ve seen his face without their obstruction—and the first time you’ve ever seen his eyes. 
His eyes are kind and warm. They glow amber brown like a glass of whiskey on the rocks, intoxicating you just as the smooth drink would.
“I still have two days, right?”
You saw his lips move, but the sound that came from them was muffled in your head as you’re entirely mesmerized by his eyes.
“Right?” he asserts, breaking you from your trance.
You blink your eyes a few times to bring yourself back to earth as your brain registers what he had said.
“What? Y– yes, you still have two days,” you say. “You know it’s not a required reading until later on in the semester, right? Why do you need it right now?”
“Maybe I wanted to get a head start,” he says while tossing it in his black leather satchel. “Maybe it’s not any of your business.” He swiftly gets up and walks away, leaving you completely frustrated yet again. 
Your journey to your next class feels more like a rigorous trudge. You’re walking fast and hard, stomping your feet with each step as your anger towards Jake exudes through your body. 
Not only are you pissed at his stupid fucking attitude, you’re pissed that you find him so damn attractive. 
How could you possibly find someone like him appealing? Appealing to the eye, yes, but that’s where it stops. He’s a walking rain cloud hovering over you, stealing all the sunshine from your day in only a matter of a single class period. 
You’re impatiently counting the days until this class– until this project– is over and done with so you can move on and live a peaceful existence. 
⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⛨ ⚔︎
It’s just about time to close the library and you could not be more ready. The last few days have been incredibly draining. With homework piling up in heaps, multiple tests to study for and working nearly every night, your stress is at an all time high. 
Thankfully, tomorrow is Saturday. This will be your first day off all week and you’re beyond ready for some much needed relaxation. You just need to get through these next five, excruciating minutes.
It’s been awfully quiet tonight and you’re grateful for it since you’re the only one working, but the lack of students has made the shift feel much longer than usual. 
You glance up at the clock that says it’s two minutes until ten. Given you haven’t seen any signs of a student in hours, you figure it would be okay to go ahead and lock up a few minutes early.
Just as you're about to twist the lock on the bolt, someone from the other end hastily turns the knob and pushes open the door with great force, causing you to stumble backwards.
Standing before you with their overdue book in hand, and to your utter disgust, is Jake. 
“We’re closed, Jake.”
He takes a few steps inside as he points behind you at the clock. “According to that, you’re still open for one more minute and I need to return my book.”
Of fucking course he waited until the literal last minute. 
You want nothing more than to turn him away and tell him he’s shit out of luck, but technically, he’s right. He’s entered the building before closing and according to policy, you have to serve him.
Son of a bitch. 
You bring your hand up to rub your forehead, trying to relieve some tension before you begin this process with him. “Follow me,” you say as you head back to the desk.
There’s an awkward silence lingering between you two as you sign into the computer, the only sound being his fingers tapping away at the desk as he impatiently waits for you.
“You could’ve just put it in the drop box outside, you know. They would’ve gotten it on Monday morning,” you tell him.
“Yeah, but then it would’ve been late. I’m not letting you all charge yet another absurd late fee,” he retorts.
“You should’ve turned it in on time, then.” 
You seem to have struck a nerve with him given the way his jaw clenched at your statement. You just can’t bring yourself to care– he’s the one forcing you to stay late when all you want to do is go home and go to bed. 
You go through the return process as quickly as you can. You finish, giving him his copy of the document that states he brought the book back. 
“Thanks,” he says. “Now I would like to check it back out, please.” 
Are you fucking kidding.
You know he’s doing this just to spite you.
You throw your hands down on the keyboard, “Seriously? Why can’t you just come back on Monday?” 
“Because I need it this weekend,” he claims.
“What could you possibly need it for?” Any semblance of patience you may have had left has officially walked out the door.
“Didn’t I tell you it was none of your business?” 
You take a deep breath and push it back out in a long sigh. You just don’t have it in you to argue anymore, so you accept defeat and begin checking it back out to him. 
You don’t say anything as you hand him a pen and the checkout slip for him to sign. He grabs the pen, looking at you with a slight guilt-ridden expression before giving his signature. 
“I’m working on a film with my brother, and I need the book to help him write the script.” This is the first time you’ve ever noted a hint of sincerity in his voice. The features of his face have softened– you can tell this is important to him. 
You flip delicately through the tattered and stained pages of the book. “I have my own copy of this out in my car,” you say. “I’ll just let you borrow mine. It’s in much better condition than this one, anyways.”
He agrees as you take the slip from under his fingers and crumple it, throwing it in the trash can under the desk. He waits a few minutes, letting you lock up. 
Then, he follows closely behind you to your car to retrieve the book.
You bend at the waist to dig for the book in the mess of your backseat. When you do so, you hear him take a deep inhale, and then blow it out in an exhale.
Is he annoyed with you having to dig? Because he can get the fuck over it. 
Just as you hear him clear his throat in impatience, you’ve found the book. You stand and hand him the book, annoyed with him and ready to leave. He thanks you, and you nod, bidding him a hasty ‘good night’… you’re just ready to get home. 
He begins to walk away, but stops and turns back around to face you.
Fuck. You’d been so close to being in the car, on your way home. Dammit.
“This film my brother’s doing,” he says. “Its focus surrounds the adultery of Arthur and Guinevere. He asked me to help him, and I was thinking…” You nod your head to let him know to keep going. “Well, if we both helped him, we could use it for our project.” 
Your interest is certainly piqued. “Yeah, that could work. I’ve written a few scripts and designed theoretical sets for a couple film electives before… so I could definitely do that.”
“He could use more help with all of that for sure, but what he really needs are actors, specifically ones to play Arthur and Guinevere. He’s been begging me to play Arthur and I agreed, but now he’s on my case about finding someone to play Guinevere and, well...” He gestures his arms towards you, signaling that he thinks you should play her. 
“Um…,” you take a minute to figure out how to politely turn him down as you feel a blush rise to your cheeks. You’d never admit it, but just the mere thought of interacting with him so intimately in those roles has your stomach doing weird flips. “Jake… I– I don’t know about that. I’m much better behind the camera, acting just isn’t really my thing.” 
“Just give it a try,” he insists. Why does he seem so adamant? Geez. “And if you hate it, you can do something else. But I think you’d be great at it, really.” He smiles at you, the first time you’ve seen a true, genuine smile from him.
Well, fuck.
You want to say no, you should say no. With how he’s treated you thus far, you don’t owe him anything. But– you can’t deny how it would help your project. And this project in Movack’s class… It's important to you. It would be fantastic to have it to back up your own project… 
And, aside from that, his smile is making it awfully hard to turn him down right now. 
If you were alone, you would have slapped your forehead at the utter chaos in your head, leading to your ultimate decision.
With a little hesitancy, you speak up, “I guess I could stop by. Feel out the role…”
His features seem to lift more at that. You pay it hardly any mind. 
And with his final reply, his velvet-toned voice has a brand new, excited, air to it. “It’ll be really amazing, I promise.” Then, he chuckles, almost to himself. “It’ll definitely be interesting,” he shakes his head, a grin still lifting his cheek. “But really… I think it’ll be great. I know my brother and you will get along. He’s also one hell of a director.” 
Minutes later, as you’re climbing into your driver's seat, you take a few minutes to sit in the silence of your car. 
Trying your damnedest to block out the obnoxious fluorescent lighting of the parking lot, you stare through your windshield into the black night sky. 
And when normally, the blanket of black would bring you a sense of peace and comfort, tonight it’s different. Tonight, you can’t help but feel a burgeoning sense of timidness as you fail to find answers to your new predicament in the night sky.
What in the hell had you just agreed to?
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Le Morte d’Arthur Masterlist
Masterlist
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shitposttcentral · 4 months
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What The RDR2 Characters Would Do At Pride || pt 3
Orville Swanson - He's there to preach that God loves all his children ESPECIALLY his gay children. Tells the homophobes they should be ashamed of themselves. Gives out lots of hugs and becomes AA sponsor to a person or two by the end of the night. Karen Jones - Is scouting for a gay best friend. Arthur gently tells her how that's not cool and she stops and is instead just having a good time. Gets super drunk with Sean and joins in the "I LOVE GAY PEOPLE" "I HAVE GAY FRIENDS" stuff being overly friendly to every person until they're taken home. Has a wicked hangover and a sunburn the next day. Javier Esculla - Insists he's just there to support his friends but he ends up with some guys number and it makes him really question some things. John Marston - I love my bisexual wife T-Shirt. Proudly tells everyone his wife is bisexual. Isn't she beautiful? She's bisexual. I love her so much. Jack Marston - Got to get his face painted, eat lots of candy, and watch a parade. So basically it's the best day ever and when Abigail and John come to tuck him into bed later he says he wishes every day was pride. Molly O'Shea - Sitting under a tree writing poetry at a pride festival is actually the perfect place to find a girlfriend apparently. The gang looked for her at the end of the night only to see a selfie of her and some stunning masc woman with the caption don't wait up. They ended up in a serious relationship. Leopold Strauss - Attempts to take up collections for a "queer children charity". Hosea spots that real fast and gets him to give back the money and get the fuck out. He's no longer in the group chat. Penelope Braithwaite - Counter-protesting the protestors. Shouting over them so no one has to hear their bullshit. Holding up signs in support of LGBT individuals. She is the ultimate ally. Beau Gray - Was Penelope's ride so he stayed to hold up a sign during her protest and make sure they were all okay. When things wound down and they stopped the protest the two of them met up with Arthur and the gang to hang out for a while.
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