#tags mostly for me to look at later so i know wtf i was on about

[themarcspector--moved]

My Ship in 5 Minutes: Cassian & John

template found here.

[checkeredflagggs]

+1s

Pairing: logan sargeant x reader

summary: When a member of Logan’s team gets married in Vegas, he invites the new wife and her bff to travel with him as his Williams guests. He didn’t know being a +1 would also see him in love

a/n:this took so much longer than I thought it would…oops 🤷🏻‍♀️

a/n2: made up some names for Williams workers — sorry if you’re actually real

a/n3: this is set in 2023 and I switched Austin and Vegas in the racing calendar

a/n4: sorry this was later than I said — the heat was brutal

Masterlist

Private Messages, Logan and Jon

Private Messages, Logan and Jon (2 hours later)

Private Messages, Wendy and y/n

Private Messages, Wendy and y/n (4 hours later)

Private Messages, Logan and y/n

f1gossip

user1: Vegas just literally became my favorite track

↳user2: where else are we gonna get content like this??

↳user1: right???

user3: bets on who it is?

↳user4: level mode extreme because most of them were partying together…

↳user5: ok time to put on my crazy hat and deep dive — I need to know which driver was crazy enough to get Vegas married

↳user4: ok but no one said it was a driver? Like they specifically said f1 employee which makes me think it wasn’t a driver

↳user5: ohhhh good point good point

↳user3: ok but i need it to be a driver???

user6: I think it’s gonna be a redbull employee

↳user7: reasoning?

↳user6: they have nothing to worry about

↳user7: I can see it

↳user8: i think it’s gonna be a Ferrari employee

↳user9: plot twist it’s both

↳user10: that would be fucking hilarious

user11: other gossip pages are apparently reporting that Logan was spotted leaving the party early

↳user12: DID LOGAN GET MARRIED?!?

↳user13: I can’t believe wtf is a kilometer is married…

↳user14: tbh not the driver I would have bet on but I can see it

↳user13: same

Bluesky

user15: 😂😂😂😂

user16: the tweet format to live in infamy

oscarpiastri: really?

↳logansargeant: shouldn’t have been so funny if you didn’t want us to copy you

↳oscarpiastri: 😒😑

user17: oh my god we really thought that Logan got married

↳logansargeant: really appreciate the faith

↳user17: of course!

↳logansargeant: 😑😑

alex_albon: I had faith in you!

↳logansargeant: thank you Alex

↳lilymhe: he didn’t — he was texting me his theories and you were near the top of the list

↳logansargeant: 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

↳user18: oh my god this is the best ever

Private Messages, Logan/Jon/Wendy and y/n

wendy_travel

liked by travel_with_yn, jon_pr, logansargeant, and 827,193 others

tagged: jon_pr

wendy_travel: honeymoon in Mexico 

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user19: married?!? Girl what

↳user20: oh my god your the girl!

↳user21: what girl?? 

↳user20: the f1gossip page girl! There was a rumor someone in f1 got married in Vegas last week and this is the wife! 

↳user21: oh my god that’s so cute!

jon_pr: paradise with you

↳wendy_travel: always when I’m with you

↳travel_with_yn: cheesy

travel_with_yn

liked by logansargeant, user, user, and 3,824,293 others

tagged: channel, summer_fridays, google

travel_with_yn: traveling in style with my trusted companions! The best to travel with, the best to look good, and the best to find my way!

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user22: oh my god you always look so good!

↳travel_with_yn: thanks in large part to my summer fridays berry lip gloss!

logansargeant: glad you could come

↳travel_with_yn: thanks for asking!

↳logansargeant: now that you’ve met some of the grid — do we still have the same vibes?

↳travel_with_yn: You? No. The rest? Mostly

oscarpiastri: it was nice to meet you two

↳travel_with_yn: you too!

↳oscarpiastri: now if you could give me my hat back?

↳travel_with_yn: sorry I need it more

↳logansargeant: trash it — I’ll give you a better one liked by travel_with_yn, oscarpiastri

alex_albon: always nice to meet new fans!

↳travel_with_yn: I don’t know if I’d go that far yet…

↳alex_albon: but you were in my garage all weekend?

↳travel_with_yn: cause I was flirting with Lily?

↳lilymhe: loml 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

user23: best Williams guest!

↳user24: it was so fun seeing you on the big screen!

↳travel_with_yn: they definitely got my good side!

↳user25: impossible for you to have a bad one!

Private Messages, Logan and y/n

f1gossip

user26: they look so happy most of the time though…

user27: if you go on YouTube, there’s actual footage of that argument…it’s bad

↳user28: oh my god really?

↳user27: it really is. It goes on for like 20/30 minutes

↳user28: yikes…

user29: girl dump his ass

user30: this is why Vegas weddings never work out

↳user31: really?

↳user32: well spontaneous weddings

user33: i wanna know what rumors are swirling around to get to the gossip page

↳user34: right??? Cause like what’s happening that we can’t see?

Private Messages, Logan and Jon

Private Messages, Wendy and y/n

Private Messages, Logan and y/n

williamsracing

liked by travel_with_yn, logansargeant, and 1,829,293 others

tagged: travel_with_yn

williamsracing: Brazil here we come! And thanks for all the traveling tips y/n!

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user35: and looking good doing it!

user36: I love Brazil

travel_with_yn: you guys certainly know how to treat a girl right, of course I’ll offer some tips

↳williamsracing: anything for one of our favorite guests

↳user37: ok what do I need to do to get this treatment?

↳user38: idk but I’m laughing that it isn’t the wife of one of their pr people that’s getting the red carpet treatment

↳user37: omg I didn’t even notice. I wonder what Wendy is thinking about it…

↳user39: shes probably too busy fighting with her husband to notice

alex_albon: you guys never post me like this

↳travel_with_yn: skill issue

↳alex_albon: I didn’t sign up to be bullied!

↳logansargeant: it’s a service she offers for free

user50: you guys thought we wouldn’t notice! But we did!  

↳user51: ummmm notice what?

↳user50: that Jon and Wendy (the Vegas couple) spent a lot of the weekend arguing with each other

Private Messages, Wendy and y/n

Private Messages, Logan and y/n

f1gossip

liked by user, user, user, and 682,384 others

f1gossip: Logan on a date? The American driver was seen at a local Austin Japanese restaurant — with an empty but occupied seat next to him

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user52: that was supposed to be me!

↳user53: or me…

user54: ok are we thinking date date or friend date?

↳user55: I desperately want it to be a date date because I need relationship Logan…

↳user56: on the other hand I need it to be a friend date so I still have a chance!

user57: ok but conspiracy theory time — I think its gonna be y/n!

↳user58: the travel influencer that’s been at the Williams garage lately?

↳user57: ok hear me out first — we know they’ve been spending a lot of time together recently because of Jon and Wendy (Vegas couple who’s their besties)

↳user57: and I’d imagine they’re getting the front row seat to the implosion of their marriage — and having been there, done that — you get close to people also going through it

↳user57: and if you go back through the pictures and videos of Austin and Brazil — they spend a lot of time together in the background

↳user58: …ok you got me

↳user57: just you wait and see

user59: wtf is a kilometer looks so good here!

↳user60: that’s what I was thinking!!

Private Messages, Wendy and y/n

williamsracing

liked by travel_with_yn, oscarpiastri, alex_albon, and 1,213,274 others

tagged: logansargeant

williamsracing: Logan points here in Austin!! We repeat — Logan points!

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user61: this is everything I’ve ever wanted

↳user62: OUR AMERICAN DID IT!

oscarpiastri: congratulations man

↳logansargeant: thanks!

user63: LOGAN POINTS LOGAN POINTS!!

alex_albon: show ‘em how it’s done!

↳logansargeant: you know it!

user64: caw caw mofos!!! 🦅🦅

travel_with_yn: it was a genuine pleasure to watch you race today

↳logansargeant: you must be my lucky charm!

↳user57: interesting interesting 📝

user65: WOOHOO!!

Private Messages, Logan and y/n

Private Messages, Wendy and y/n

logansargeant

liked by travel_with_yn, oscarpiastri, georgerussell63 and 772,923 others

tagged: williamsracing, alex_albon

logansargeant: as the season comes to a close, I just want to thank everyone at williamsracing for the amazing chance to drive for you. It was a rocky start but we’ll definitely come back stronger next year! With hopefully less excitement at Vegas 😂

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alex_albon: it was a great time having you as a teammate this year!

↳logansargeant: it was definitely great being teammates!

user66: I’ve only had this American for a season but if something happened to him etc etc

oscarpiastri: first year done, more to come!

↳logansargeant: can’t wait for them!

user67: ok are we all skipping over the last picture or???

↳user68: no no we are not! Logan Sargeant come explain yourself!

↳user57: if I may??

↳user69: you may not!

↳user57: it’s definitely y/n!

travel_with_yn: it was certainly a pleasure traveling with you these last few weeks!

↳logansargeant: excellent

Private Messages, Logan/Wendy/Jon and y/n

travel_with_yn

liked by wendy_travel, logansargeant, user, and 829,439 others

travel_with_yn: no traveling necessary when I’m with you

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user70: a soft launch?!?

↳user71: not on my bingo card for the year..

↳user70: but I love it!

user57: I’m telling you guys!

↳user72: alright there grandma…

logansargeant: 🩵

↳user73: oh my god!!

logansargeant has posted 3 stories

[back with benny][ Vegas here we come][forever with you yn_sargeant]

user74 replied BENNY!!

user75 replied Benny Benny Benny!!

user76 replied what are you and Benny doing together?!?

travel_with_yn replied oh you look so handsome…

↳logansargeant oh I’m blushing ☺️

oscarpiastri replied are you really going to do it?

↳logansargeant yes

↳oscarpiastri crazy man but good luck

alex_albon replied you’re getting married and you didn’t even invite me???

↳logansargeant 😂sorry but it is a bit of a spur of the moment decision — we’ll have an actual ceremony soon

↳alex_albon good! I’d like to see you and yn again

↳logansargeant …she says she’s excited to see Lily again

↳alex_albon 🙄🙄

user77 replied MARRIAGE?!?

jon_pr replied are you sure?

↳logansargeant I’ve never been more sure in my life

↳jon_pr well at least it’s not a drunk one

↳logansargeant 😂

user78 replied Alexa play that should be me

yn_sargeant replied oh my lovely husband — here’s to forever

↳logansargeant thankfully 😊😊

georgerussell63 replied congratulations 🎉

↳logansargeant thanks man! Be on the look out for an invitation — we’ll be having a real ceremony soonish

wendy_travel replied treat her well

↳logansargeant I will

user57 replied I KNEW IT!!

Taglist

@daniskywalkersolo @thenerdysimp @quinquinquincy @lecfosimaxbull @gr3yhues @armystay89 @simplylovelysworld @mimisweetz @angelluv16 @hamiltonforwdc @alexxavicry @suns3treading @ymrereads @monzipan @stuffyownswrld @kuolonsyoja @ky14-1 @devilacot @justheretoreadthxxs @minrayven @albonoracers @hc-dutch @somerandomf1fan @purplephantomwolf @shadowreader07 @spilled-coffee-cup @galaxygurlll l @anamiad00msday @freyathehuntress @widow-cevans @1-of-my-many-obsessions @charlesgirl16 @ihaveitprinteddout @deena-beena-weena @lilyofthevalley-09 @nightrose-18 @kodeelyn @star73807-blog @avengers-assemble123456 @howling-wolf97 @boke-hinata-boke @hannahmotors10 @mountainshuman @daisydaze111 @evie-119 @shadowreader07 @r0nnsblog @1800-love-me @edgyficuselastica @everydayimagineer

[florencebirdsong]

GASP VALITINES DAY REQUESTS??

Fine, ill contribute 🙂‍↕️

Rio x reader- who is a bit of a dummy. BUT they have Spider-Man powers! And is constantly lucky and unlucky at the same time! Like they get into life lie death situations on a regular and almost dies so much! For example almost gets hit by a bus or som.

Rio gets annoyed and confronts r about it and is like wtf hon and reader is a cafe and shares chocolate or something with all powerful death because again they’re a bit silly- hence is romanticy

-feel free to ignore this! Love youuu <3

This was so fun to write! I need to do more silly reader. You may have started something ashdhfjfjns thank you so much for the request!!

Valentine’s Day Event 2025

Tags: silly reader, injuries mentioned, ficlet

You aren’t doing it on purpose. Or you weren’t doing it on purpose. Being clipped by a train had been an accident and so had the ocean incident but the bus…well, it looked like an accident. It was mostly an accident. You hadn’t sensed it coming until the last second and you maybe-purposely flipped at the wrong angle and still got very slightly hit. It wasn’t your fault! Mostly. It had been a while since you last saw Rio was all. And there have maybe been a few more instance like that. But there’s been more where it hasn’t! You are still a superhero. You aren’t going to put people in danger just because you want to see your crush.

The fact that you’ve been toeing the line with them possibly thinking they are is easily ignored. Usually, they are in actual danger and most don’t stop believing it until you’ve got them well away from it.

Your latest shenanigan had Rio follow you home, which you’re trying not to be obviously gleeful about. You only ever saw her out of the corner of your eye as you swung home but still. A win is a win. It’s also probably a good thing she didn’t want to come in. Your healing factor only works so fast and your last fight was rough.

One clean up and a craving later, you found yourself at your usual cafe. Your civilian one, anyway.

Sliding into a booth with a mug of hot chocolate, you slurp happily at the warm liquid. The walk from your apartment was freezing.

“I know what you’re doing,” Rio says impassively, appearing from nowhere beside you booth.

You don’t startle, despite the fact you can never seem to sense her like you do everyone else.

“What do you mean?” you give her your most innocent look.

“Your recent stunts.”

“Stunts?” you ask with the same innocent tone.

“Recklessness.”

“I’m not sure what you mean. I am a superhero. I run into danger all the time.”

“You didn’t run into this much danger before I started visiting you,” she says.

“You used to watch me?” you ask, delighted. “For how long?” Then a thought occurs to you. “Tell me you didn’t see anything embarrassing.”

“I’ve seen you do plenty of embarrassing things with full knowledge of my presence,” Rio says, unimpressed.

“I was showing off,” you pout.

A smile pulls at the side of her mouth. “Badly.”

“You wound me,” you say dramatically. “If you’ve been watching me for so long surely you’ve seen me do something impressive.”

She makes a noncommittal gesture and your pout grows.

“I’m not sharing my hot chocolate with you anymore,” you declare. “Meanies don’t get hot chocolate, especially ones with little marshmallows. It’s a rule.”

The amusement on Rio’s face grows and you find your hand suddenly empty. You stare at your hand for a moment before turning your head to find her sipping from your stolen mug. “Fine. Meanies can have one sip. To stop thievery.”

She raises an eyebrow and takes another long drink. You pout again. “This is how you treat me after a long, gruelling day?”

“People who needlessly puts themselves in more danger don’t deserve hot chocolate. It’s a rule,” she says and disappears before you get a chance to protest.

It was not on purpose. Mostly. You had to convince her. But she was already gone, taking your delicious hot chocolate with her.

[loloelia]

Hasnt it been a while since i posted art ?

Ive not been dead but ive been quiet ,with not art :p

I realy wanna try and post more art or wips or whatever i can !!!!

Dont count on me posting a lot ,but ill try my best!!!!

Lots of rambles down below !!!!

Alright im just gonna make some organisation stuff here

Fifth sibling

Im gonna take a while to make the first chapter because i always struggled with that , if wont be on Ao3 ,i wanted to try but i really just cant ,in my head ive been planning the story ,some plot point and while its not great its a start

Comic wise ,ill try and do some but dont hold your breath for them ,because i procrastinate a lot ,but im always trying m'y best to make stuff !!!! (The one i have planned will be first sent to my mutuals because i wanna stay safe on the internet ,and you never know!)

When its comes to normal art ,ive been thinking about some pieces ,for exemple one that id like to do that is inspired by a beautiful piece of my dear mutuals(sorry for the tag) @scared-lantern ,its Slight's sanctuary , while Eko doesn't have a temple ,nor cult ,ive been wanting to do a piece of a place they love to go to , i might also make some Narinder and Eko art because i havent talked much about these two despite them being quite interesting , one that i really have been wanting to do is about Shamura and Eko ,these two need to be talked about more !:D I might do some quick sketches of places that are important or that i like (eko's "room" in shamura's room ,and well shamura's room lmao ,might do leshy's temple too,maybe ,possibly)

The promises of death

(aka my basic au)

No writing planned for this one thank gods ,but i should talk about it more i think :p

I have a LOT of comics i want to do ,well like.... Around 3, but that's a lot to me! :^ one to show how its starts ,one for Narinder's developpement in the cult , lamb's relationship with everyone(forneus,chemach and everyone else !),and some other i forgot about but ill find them !

For art pieces ,i dont have anything ,those ideas come and go and i dont have a good memory ,but pieces might be posted sometimes or not idk :/ ill make some sketches of the cult grounds ,lamb's tent,the temple ,and the work room of the lamb !

Sweet ocs

By that i do mean Spooder, Snuggly,Hannah and Hazel ,no writing for them planned either , but i could talk about how they came to be if im bored enough

More comics !!!!!!! Spooder has quite a bunch of stuff weirdly enough ,one where this spider acts stupid and goes to learn about WTF ichor is (aka my excuse of why i dont draw his fourth pair of limbs), another one to explain how this kid managed to live for almost a thousand years , annnnnd one that's more about the state of the world after Narinder's tantrum,but Spooder is my only oc who was alive back then , also *ahem* @alllgator-blood you know what's coming for you 🫵(its been a wips for like .....6 month lmao) Snuggly too has some comics ,mostly him being a lil brat with everyone around him ,but maybe ill do one of his back story ,will do one for Hannah though , and id like to do one about the two interacting, now Hazel has only two comics as of now ,one about her meeting with kudaii and another of her being a angsty 17 year old lmao

Wow that's long

Maybe ill do some art piece mostly silly ones for fun so yeah :/ but ! I will do new ref sheets because the old one sucks ass>:(

Lives-long nightmare (aka my goat au)

HAHAHAH never talked about this one yet !!!!!!>:)

Ill try and write some info about the state of the world and stuff but nothing else i think:)

Two comics for now !!!!! One of goat and Narinder's equivalent in this world(i dont wanna spoil even if its obvious) and the other is about the goat travelling to the lamb's world !:)

Ill do a bunch of art for sure !!!! The designs first ,then Silly ones ,and a lot of stuff thatll come to me later

Also would you look at that one of my ocs made it and became important enough to make it to the story guess who ?.....yeah its Hazel she'll be important to the plot she wont be mentioned by name but shell be there.....well not alive but still here she might get some art and a few panels long comic about her and kuddai because thats what's important to the story.

Alright i think that's it !!!

I should be more active now !!!!

If i tagged you while you didn't want to tell me ill take it away :(

But that's it ive been nervous about this but now its posted so eh

[clockworkvenus]

well i'll be damned i done and got tagged in one of them there tag games again!!! ty to @chromecore and @soju-poppi for the tag in the 'get to know your mutuals' game 👉👈

--

Favourite colour: uhhhh idk if i have just one, there's a few i like, usually bright ones like blue, yellow, or like a neon green. oh i quite like purple too

Last song: beyonce - formation (i'm going to see her next month EEEEE so i've been listening to the set list in preparation lmao)

Currently reading: i uhh don't really read books often 🫣 though the last book i read was the house of hidden meanings by rupaul and i loooved it

Currently watching: ok you're all gonna think i'm weird bc i also very rarely watch TV either ('wtf do you do then?' i hear you ask - well, stare at the wall mostly), though i did recently start watching edgerunners. i'm only 2 episodes in because (and i say this with peace and love) i just reeaally don't like anime 😭 but i'm persevering

Currently craving: the chicken dopiaza i will be having later on (saturday night is always curry night)

Coffee or tea: god y'all just really learning how much of a weirdo i am tonight - neither. i love the smell of coffee but cannot stand the taste of it at all, even a hint of it drowned in sugar and caramel i hate. i also don't like tea which, as a brit, feels kind of illegal. in fact i don't like hot drinks in general really. i'm also lactose intolerant, so, unless it's soy or oat or some shit, you don't want me drinking either

Last song I sang out loud: i'm constantly singing songs to myself all the time and i've been singing the same random lines from dreams by fleetwood mac for the last half hour or so

Favourite chip flavour: you mean crisps m8? again, there's no singular favourite, i love too many. salt and vinegar, love a good sour cream and onion (lactose intolerance be damned), looove any kind of 'spicy' flavour like flamin' hot cheetos, chilli heatwave doritos, or nice 'n spicy nik naks (i feel like nik naks is such a british sounding snack but they're soooo good). i'm very caucasian about any other kind of spicy food but the spicy crisps hit just right

Last book I opened: uhh technically the repair manual for my 1990 audi 100 as i attempted to replace the starter motor today and as per usual the manual was utterly fucking useless

Earbuds vs. headphones vs. nothing: guess what? i'm weird about this too!!! i must have really fuckin weirdly shaped ears because both earbuds and headphones hurt my ears after a while, so i tend to just rawdog it, unless i'm gaming then it's headphones time

Last place I went to other than home: work this morning woo

A colour that looks good on me: i have a habit of wearing black all the time, but i recently bought a yellow top that i really like so i guess yellow?

Last trailer I saw: gta 6 i guess? at least the last one i remember seeking out and paying attention to lmao

--

i'm now supposed to tag 6 (!) mutuals but idk if i know that many who haven't been tagged so uhhh i'll tag @ratsstick, @medtech-mara, @mirandaputsherbestbuttforward, @totentnz, @nightcitysinner and uhhh anyone else reading this who wants to have a go :))) (also no pressure at all from those tagged to respond lmao)

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

15 Question, 15 People

Thanks for the tag @martsonmars ! I love this kind of stuff. But first…

Fifteen people??? Ok. I can do this. I tried to do a quick check to see if any of you have done it already, but I also didn’t try too hard: @ic3-que3n @onepintobean @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @thewholelemon @alexalexinii @palimpsessed @skeedelvee @youarenevertooold @agni-ashes @cutestkilla @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @bookish-bogwitch @theimpossibledemon @whogaveyoupermission

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope! My mom wanted a name that sounded good in both English and Spanish. She looked at a map for inspiration and saw the Sierra Madre Occidental range in Mexico and the Sierra Nevada range in California and went "aha!"

Sierra has never been a super popular name, at least not spelled my way, and she'd never heard it before, so it was perfect! Imagine her dismay when a few years later we discovered another Sierra, one year older, living a couple streets over in our tiny neighborhood. I also went to high school with one other Sierra. The mid-nineties was "Sierra's" time to shine, apparently.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday

3. Do you have kids?

Nope

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I’ve recently realized I don’t use it as often as I think I do, but I think it’s still pretty often.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

I think it’s their expression, particularly if they are smiling or not. If they are, what kind of smile is it? Is it telling me they don’t want to be here/don’t want to be talking to me? If they aren’t, do they look upset/frustrated or just busy or distracted?

6. What’s your eye color?

I think I’ve settled on grey. It changes drastically depending on what I’m wearing. Sometimes I look and they’re super blue. Other times I’m like wow those are so obviously green. Most of the time I’m like “wtf is this color?” My mom used to say they were “blue, like the ocean,” but I think we need to specify that it’s the ocean during a storm. A little grey, a little green, a little blue. Depends on which ocean and which storm.

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings! I like some scary movies, but really I’m all about a happy ending.

8. Any special talents?

Ummmmm…. Mr. Brilla says my special talent is dropping stuff I had a solid hold on a second ago.

9. Where were you born?

Texas

10. What are your hobbies?

I’m a hobby collector. I try stuff and drop them all the time. I lean toward crafty or creative hobbies, like embroidery and cross stitch, sewing, drawing, writing, painting minis. I also love to dance (social and ballroom— partner dances) and sing (by myself in the car/shower…), and read.

11. Do you have any pets?

A chihuahua mix (mostly chihuahua) named Dulce!

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I played soccer for 2 seasons when I was 7 because I liked being on a team and wearing a uniform, but I hated practice and games and, you know, playing soccer. I also tried gymnastics for a day and cried. I’ve never been a sports kid.

I do social dancing now, which still ain’t competitive, but it could be, ya know?

13. How tall are you?

5’2”

14. Favorite subject at school?

(American) schools try really hard to make interesting stuff really boring and hard. I think my favorite was Spanish because I already knew quite a bit and already loved the language and was very good at it from the start. It was easy and I got to learn more about something I already loved.

If school were better, I would have loved more subjects because I love learning, in general. I find history and social studies and cultural studies all absolutely fascinating. I also find sciences really interesting, as well, but the classes were so rough in school that they were never a favorite subject. Math had its moments, too, but again… not always the greatest teachers or curriculum. I love reading and was very good at essays, so English/lit were ok, but the books were soooo hit or miss for me.

15. Dream job?

My dream job would be part-time teaching a high school Computer Science class (and would throw in Spanish I, too!) and part-time software engineer at some sort of “tech-for-good” company working in something worthwhile and/or cool.

[lazybrainsoup]

Holy shit I have some thoughts. Obviously they're my thoughts relating to my experience of using the website and app over the last year or so, I don't have any data to back it up beyond my subjective experience and I don't know how typical I am.

It got a bit long.

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins.

This is certainly true, the current experience of "here's a full page cookie agreement and then we will try to convince you to sign up if you scroll even a little bit" is really off putting.

I suspect that people will find tumblr because someone links them to a post. If reading posts when you're not logged in feels like a hostile experience, then not only do people not sign up, their friends stop sending them links. Maybe they send a screenshot instead.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Honestly, I'm a little iffy on this one.

Is @the-real-numbers reposting the same content 50 times or @toskarin's latest shitpost or someone venting about their latest crisis "high-quality content"? Possibly, possibly not, but it is vibrant, real and alive and feels like a much more real and personal connection than if my feed was filtered for quality.

I still have the "suggested for you" feature enabled, so occasionally I get posts on my dashboard which aren't from people I follow because it's helpful to let me find new people to follow. Fairly often, my response to one of the posts is "wtf, who posted this?" before I scroll up and see it was "recommended for me". Admittedly, this perhaps suggests that your alroithmic recommendations aren't very good, but I think it also speaks to the fact that without seeing who posted it, I knew that it wasn't what I'd expect because I recognise and appreciate the style and taste of the people I do follow.

That's something I would miss if tumblr became more algorithmicly driven.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations

Yes, but watch out.

I think one of the things that makes twitter a horrible place to visit is that the conversation view under a tweet tends to show me a lot of aggressively antaognistic conversations.

The way tumblr does it mostly restricts conversations to just people you follow. You'll only see the thread develop if someone you follow posts to it and you'll only see a later version if they decided to reblog it. If they ignored it and decided not to feed a troll, I never see it.

I certainly don't have a great plan on how tumblr ought to handle conversations and I agree it's somewhat confusing, but I have really appreciated some of the advantages it has over other social media sites.

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback.

I suspect this is true and is something it would be good to improve, though ideally without invading the main feed.

It would certainly be great to improve the quality of the "For you" page and gear it more towards the discovery of new creators and people to follow. When I look at my "For you" feed, there's very little original content in there. My "Your tags" feed is a bit better because I follow #art.

If you can effectively highlight original creations (as opposed to reposts or aggregations) which aren't getting the attention that might be expected (because the creator hasn't got many followers yet) that would be really cool.

The lack of feedback [to new creators] stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed

This isn't what you do at all, by default you have lots of other stuff show up in the main dashboard feed. If people turn it off, that's because the stuff you're adding isn't stuff they like (see the comment above about my reaction to "recommended for you" posts).

The existing spots are definitely places you could highlight new creators.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement

Ok, I admit, this was the point that made me most mad.

Push notifications are the reason I don't have the Facebook and Twitter apps installed any more (I use them through a web browser when I need to).

Both were uninstalled because they start sending nag notifications if you don't use the app frequently and as a result I only go there if I have a specific reason to, I don't just open them up because I'm bored and the app is on my homescreen.

Having a good time on Tumblr is what makes me keep opening it and keeps the icon on my home screen. It's my go-to place when I'm bored. (Previously I also used Reddit, but they just broke the app I used for that and the official app sucks so...)

Maaaaybe if someone hasn't opened the app in a month, a push notification might make them remember it's there and open it, but it might also just remind them they never uninstalled it.

In general, push notifications for not engaging enough are just about the most user-hostile thing you could do. Please don't.

Performance, stability and quality

Yep, that would be awesome. The mobile bug where occasionally a post with a video or gif will make the app very sluggish until you scroll past it is particularly annoying.

Conclusion

The commitment to making Tumblr a better place which supports your current and future creators is both admirable and encouraging. Tumblr has been a breath of fresh air for me, I suspect largely due to the community of witty and talented people who post here and the way that tumblr allows me to choose who I listen to and doesn't push me towards content which it thinks will get me more engaged.

I truely hope Tumblr can grow and bring more people into its community without losing what makes it so distinctive.

❤️

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[casadegatos]

Thank you @shutterbug-12 for the tag!

TAG GAME: EIGHT SHOWS TO GET TO KNOW ME

Going in order of oldest to newest. And I'm only including shows that have a complete run, so there's that. (that's not a rule, I just did that for me)

MASH

I don't always love a sitcom, but watching MASH was a family activity. Growing up we had one TV, it was before the internet and home computers, so we watched what Dad chose usually (more on that later). MASH was a lot of things, but mostly it taught me about being yourself in a group, that it was okay to be whatever you were and that you could make a family anywhere.

The Rockford Files

Jim Rockford, being witty and sarcastic but also a loving son and good friend, driving fast and solving cases as an ex-con Korean War vet in 1970s LA. What's not to love about all that? Dad really had an iron grip on the TV guide back in those days and for a kid some of the plots didn't make sense, but I have rewatched the whole series multiple times and I'm here to tell you, a lot of it holds up. What does it say about me? I guess it says that I really like car chases and easily solved mysteries wrapped up in some wide lapels. But also I guess that James Garner as Rockford is a blueprint for the kind of hero I enjoy (flawed but ulitmately kind and very loyal).

Twin Peaks

This is becoming about my Dad here, but this is another show that we both loved. Turns out, my Dad likes the weird stuff, too. This is the last show that we watched together regularly before I moved out. Narratively who knows wtf happens in any David Lynch joint, but that's not really the point to me. I love the absurd, dark, haunting elements it makes me think about. Sometimes it's incomprehensible and that's okay. Just like life.

Justified

The show that teaches you that dialogue makes the character. Boyd Crowder will forever be one of my favorite characters solely because of his dialogue (and Walton Goggins's delivery). Every character on this show has a distinct way of speaking and behaving and it is really one of the most enjoyable shows ever just for that reason. I have never dug coal, but I feel like I have after spending time with these characters. I guess this one says that I like realism sometimes? Also, a flawed but ultimately kind and loyal hero (Raylan Givens, meet Jim Rockford).

Orphan Black

I could go on for days about what this show means, but others have already done that better than I could, so I'll just say this: we all contain multitudes. Also, Tatiana Maslany should have won every acting award ever during her time on this show. Another show that made me think about how being yourself is really complicated sometimes and we don't always figure it out alone (found family, etc, etc).

Parks and Rec

A workplace comedy? On my list? Yes, and it's this one. Always makes me laugh and I see a bit of how I act with coworkers in a lot of the characters (not Leslie usually, but Ron frequently).  Gently sending up living in the Midwest while not making fun of it, mostly. Lost count of how many times I've watched this one.

Ripper Street

A flawed yet ultimately kind and loyal hero, crime solving, my favorite era of history, some of the best dialogue on any TV show, interesting and twisty plots, one of my all-time favorite actors, incredible attention to detail, and a very satisfying ending not to mention one of the nicest, kindest, and welcoming fandoms. Did I mention found family and workplace comedy? That's there too. (Edmund Reid, Raylan Givens, and Jim Rockford walk into a bar...wait, I'm only one person, get in line boys) One of my desert island shows, my go-to in times of stress, the thing I always recommend to people looking for something good (so long as they can stomach blood, that is).

Did you get to know me? lol, well maybe you'll watch one of these if you haven't before and find a new favorite.

Tagging a few people (participation only by your choice ofc) or just do it if you feel moved! @lizardsarevcool @hickeywiththegoodhair @valoricky @watchfuldeer @jennykin @quinnfabreys @swankpalanquin

[teruthecreator]

As someone who started reading Side Quest based on the fanart I saw and was blissfully ignorant to most of the problems you pointed out, I just wanted to thank you for your post. The thing that stuck out to me while reading that fic was the entire Toichiro rewriting. Every interaction he had made me so angry while reading and looking back I think a big part of that has to do with how out of character he's been. I had been partway through chapter 11 when I stumbled upon your post and decided to finish it through that new perspective. Tbh, I don't even think I would have needed it to ask myself wtf was going on because once it hit Reigen encountering Toichiro in the tower Toichiro instantly starts calling Reigen a slut. This chapter was already kinda slow compared to the rest because it was just a retelling of what happens in the episodes, and what was interesting about this fic when I first read it was the new scenes that were added, but simply adding unnecessary comments to a known scene and focusing on how Reigen doesn't have sex and doesn't know where he got these accusations from was very off-putting.

As for everything else, aside from not having dealt with anything like that and not immediately noticing how things were worded, I want to say I likely chalked it up to plot. I think I read a lot of things passively just to see what people write about without thinking too much about how they're writing about it. And maybe that's a flaw on my end, just being bored and randomly throwing a dart on a dartboard to consume more media regardless of what it is (mostly, I do have limits).

But I do agree that the author should be more ridged with her tags. I've written fics before and I always try to include every little things I can think of in the tags, even if that might get me less views or "spoil the story" because I'd rather everyone know what they're getting into instead of them getting surprised by it. When I first started reading I was surprised to see that it was labeled "explicit" even though none of the tags clued me into why it was written like that, unless the grooming was more intense than what my baseline thoughts on grooming are, but if said grooming does lead to anything more then it should be tagged as such.

Another thing that has been bothering me about this has been the fact that since chapter 9, the author has mentioned that "there is a fairly explicit scene, marked by <3... it's not just porn... etc." I can somewhat understand not fully tagging an unfinished work, since in my experience I didn't think I'd post a second part to one or I started posting without having the entire story fully fleshed out so things take a different direction than what I originally expected, but I always go back and make sure the tags are fully updated every time I post. The fact that this was mentioned and then nothing in the tags were updated was kind of strange. I skimmed through chapter 12 since it was posted yesterday to see if this scene was finally going to be put it, and low and behold I did see the <3. There's something about continuously reminding people to watch out for the explicit sign each chapter and then it not appearing until 4 chapters later. What's the point of unnecessarily making your reader expect this to show up after every paragraph they read only for it to be 40k or however many words away. Personally, I'd understand warning of this the chapter before it happens and the chapter of (or, you know, in the tags as well), but that far away feels like you're trying to string the readers who want to get to that scene along and just scaring those who are ready to skip it. I haven't read it so I can't say what the scene is about and how fair this warning is, but again being surprised about the fact that this fic has an explicit scene somewhere is something readers shouldn't have to deal with if tagged properly.

This turned out to be a way bigger reply than I originally intended, but if you'd like a few more screenshots to add to your collection here's all of the out of pocket Toichiro replies:

first off, you rlly don't need to thank me for that post, but i appreciate it anyway :-) its something thats been on my mind for a while, and with its rapid popularity i was simply confused how people weren't seeing what i was seeing. i do wanna say that nobody should feel bad/guilty for reading this or liking it without seeing the content i mentioned. as i mentioned at the end of that post, people's personal experiences will inform how they consume media and what blindspots they may have, and i'm certainly not here to judge anyone for that. i Am happy to hear that someone who had been reading the fic was able to hear my criticism and consume the fic in a new light, so thank You for sending this ask!

you brought up a topic that i wanted to touch on but didn't rlly have room on the other post, but yeah toichiro's characterization throughout this fic is strange and Extremely ooc. it feels like she was purposely building him up to be the worst character in the story--a true villain, as it were. which is funny bc mob psycho doesn't even have true villains bc the show is about second chances and connections and trying again. but with the racism, plus the eugenics/creepy remarks, plus the overtly sexual manipulation and grooming, she turned toichiro into a kind of cartoon caricature of a villain. which was wholly unnecessary and, in fact, creepy! and not funny! and strange!

but the thing that annoyed me more than that was how she tried to walk it back. there are several moments where toichiro is calling out to his ex-wife in his sleep, asking for forgiveness and shit. which, for one, would not have happened at this point in the story. it is very explicitly shown through wd arc that toichiro's First moment of realization is when he's down in that basement area with mob, when he flashes back to his ex wife leaving and suddenly realizes what he missed. toichiro before this moment was not thinking mournfully about his wife. he wasn't thinking about his wife At All. he pushed the memory of his family out to make way for his plan, something that then becomes a key point to him accepting help from other people! so like. there's that. but Also having toichiro have these quiet moments of vulnerability feels like the author's way of rolling back her own characterization, which just makes the whole thing messy and hard to read. from the way she's written him, toichiro is NOT a character people should be empathizing with. he is a groomer and a racist and a creep and all of that together is like. a recipe for someone who needs to just be shoved off the face of the planet. but she works in these moments of "humanity" to try and bring toichiro back to where he's at in canon, likely so she can write out some kind of silent redemption (or hint at redemption) like how canon does. but in this case that redemption would feel gross because she turned his character into something so statically evil that it feels impossible to forgive.

and yeah, those quotes are absolutely ridiculous. like they border on comedy, but really they just sound awful coming out of his mouth. i know this phrase has been used a million times over but HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT!

also to talk on the topic of tags (which i do agree with you on), i do find it strange that she refused to put ANY tags on the fic with the proper warnings for explicit content, but seemingly had the time to make that reminder each and every chapter. because in reality she really only needed that warning on ONE chapter--the chapter that has the explicit scene! but i do agree that simply tagging it would save her readers the emotional labor of having to keep an eye out for a sex scene they might not be ready to deal with. especially with the content of some of these later chapters (the ones ive seen, anyway), having the looming threat of an explicit scene could make some readers uneasy!!! (im talking specifically abt the chapters where toichiro is making moves on serizawa in an effort to manipulate him. i understand the author did mention in an authors note that this wouldnt happen, but i'd also like to point out that she HID THIS PART OF THE AUTHORS NOTE. so you had to make the decision to "spoil" yourself just to see if someone was going to be sa'd or not. which i think is wrong; an author should always prioritize the safety and comfort of their readers above any potential "spoilers")

and to wrap up with one last thing, just a more general thought: i think there is a difference between content that includes dark topics in a thoughtful way and content that includes dark topics in an edgy way, and this fic definitely leans towards the latter. a lot of these outlandishly mature topics are treated like throwaway jokes or shock value items, which feels inappropriate when we are dealing with topics of such weight like racism, transphobia, child impregnation (again. What.), etc.. i am not trying to police people on what content they are or aren't allowed to talk about--i am saying that, if your story NEEDS to have this content in it (which i would argue that here it doesn't), then you need to treat it with the care it deserves to be treated with. if not for your own sake, then for the sake of your readers. at the end of the day, i just want people to be safe out there

thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, and thank you for being so respectful <3 have a wonderful day!

[ideks-on-mars]

Shit okay idk if you’re still doing this BUT LIKE I JUST REMEMBERED HALLOWEEN IS CLOSE SO IF YOURE STILL DOING THIS ON YOUR OWN OR JUST CAN DISCUSS ABOUT IT DMS IF YOU WANNA

Shiratorizawa Halloween party or whatever, mostly surrounded reonsemishira but you can throw in the others (but those three are important!!). I never been to a halloween party + costume party but I’ve watch mean girls so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY EITHER BUT I'VE ALSO WATCHED MEAN GIRLS SO WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES LMFAO

Tws Fluffy as shit

ANYWAYS REONSEMISHIRA HALLOWEEN HCS LET'S GO!!!

- Lemme start off with Semi LOVES LOVES LOVES HALLOWEEN

- AND I DON'T FUCKING BLAME HIM

- CUZ ME TOO ME TOO 🙌

- BUT Shirabu's a bit unfamiliar with it. He didn't really go Trick-or-Treating as a kid

- Reon's family usually celebrates together

- Whicchhhh is why he invites SemiShira along to come walk around with him and his little brother

- Ofc they wanna tag along

- They're not really sure on what to wear tbh, do they wear a costume? Do they just wear sweatpants? Wtf are they doing?

- Semi ends up wearing some jeans and a orange hoodie with some black and orange Jordans (whichever Jordans is up to you 👀)

- Shirabu wears just about the same thing but he wears white with black jeans and some Vans

- Simple but still ✨️

- They walk up to Reon's house and omg it's the cutest Minka style house with flowers and trees around the front and they see big fields and a barn a good ways away

- They thinks it's the cutest 😭

- They're greeted at the door by some kid wrapped in a bunch of toilet paper

- "Oh. Hi Eita."

- "Hey Akoni 💀"

- Akoni has NOT met Shirabu. This is a first for Shirabu meeting the whole family actually

- He's a little (LOT) scared

- Shirabu flips a FUCKING SWITCH

- Five minutes ago he was calling Semi dumb for missing a turn

- Now he's pulling the nervous small wave and quiet "Hi" with a twelve year old wrapped in toilet paper

- BITCH CHOOSE ONE-

- "Is this Kenjirō?"

- "Akoni that's rude!"

- Reon's older sister :D

- "Hi Manoela!"

- She loves Eita 😭

- Eita is damn near suffocating when she hugs him

- "SO, this must be Kenjirō!"

- The Ōhira siblings are looking him up and down and he is SCARED

- "Yeah...that's me. Heh. You two must be Akoni and Manoela..."

- You can tell he's terrified

- Semi's trying not to laugh

- "You two stop scaring my boyfriends >:("

- Reon to the rescue 😭

- "We're just introducing ourselves to Kenjirō!" "Eita's not scared! See!? He's fine!"

- Reon shoos them both into the house and turns back a to his boyfriends with a smile on his face

- They're all surprised and excited to see him.

- They literally saw him the day before for his birthday.

- They're just happy to see him 😭

- "C'mon, my moms have been asking about you both all day!"

- Shirabu's gripping his boyfriends' hands SO TIGHT they might break

- It's the cutest house and Shirabu would most definitely be at peace if he weren't meeting HIS BOYFRIEND'S MOMS

- AHHHHH

- "Mom! Momma! They're here!"

- Shirabu's gonna implode

- "Oh! Eita! It's been so long!"

- "Momma it's only been a few months 😅"

- "Hi momma! Mom! :D"

- Semi's calling them mom while Shirabu hasn't even met them

- What the hell.

- "Oh! This must be Kenjirō!"

- He nods all stiffly 💀

- "Reon tells us all about you!" "You're even cuter in person!" "Mom, momma, please. 😭"

- Semi's snickering in the corner

- Shirabu's immediately suffocated in hugs and he feels a lot better now 😮‍💨

- "REON-NII! MY FRIENDS ARE HEREEEE!"

- That's their call 😭

- "You all be safe! Make sure to get home before nine! You know the boys don't wanna miss grandma's stories!"

- Grandma's stories?

- Semi had met Granny Ōhira but he didn't know she had stories

- That's for later tho

- For now they've gotta focus on the four twelve year olds they're trick-or-treating with

- It starts out calm enough, they're going up the street and the kids are well behaved

- For now

- It's their last time trick-or-treating til theyre teenagers, they're GONNA cause some ruckus ✋️🙄

- And ruckus is exactly what they cause

- It's a whole lot of "AKONI NO!" and "YOU BETTER PUT THAT DOWN!"

- Reon chases these children up and down BLOCKS

- "Damn Reon, your legs are twice the size of theirs and you still can't get em?" "Shut up, Eita 😮‍💨"

- It's all fun and games until them running Reon around gets on Eita's nerves

- "Hey, yall stop." "What are YOU gonna do? Tell my mom?"

- These kids got some balls talkin to scary emo man like that

- "I mean, I could...later tonight while she's sucking my-"

- They behave after that.

- + Style points for Semi

- Shirabu's very 😶

- The kids find out Shirabu never went trick-or-treating and they look at him like he's grown another head

- They drag him up to the doors and make him say "trick or treat!"

- He's a little embarrassed

- They just place the candy in his hand

- They went up to one house and this little old couple opened the door (bless their hearts) and they jokingly asked what Shirabu was supposed to be

- One of the kids just goes

- "He's a depressed high school student"

- Welp.

- They get home (finally) and they're all pleased with their trick-or-treating

- Reon's mom made Halloween cookies and they had some warmed up apple juice with cinnamon in it

- "Oh! Oh! We gotta get Granny to tell us her stories!"

- Ngl SemiShira have been curious about these stories all night

- They all sit in the living room and Granny Ōhira sits in her chair

- Holy shit SemiShira and the other kids are gonna have nightmares

- This sweet old lady is telling the more blood curdling, toe curling, head ass stories they've EVER HEARD

- Worse than ANY HORROR MOVIE THEY'VE EVER WATCHED 😭

- Then there's Manoela, Reon, and Akoni who are like "Tell more Granny! :D"

- Ngl they ARE cool stories

- They're still terrified tho

- Our main three are relaxing in Reon's room when he asks if they wanna watch a scary movie

- All I'm gonna say is that any movie they watch is gonna be like a fairy tale compared to Granny Ōhira's stories

- Reon ends up with two nightmare prone boyfriends and a bomb ass pillow and blanket fort 😎

- What a W

- HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVEN THO IT'S OCT. 3RD

- And if you don't celebrate Halloween

- L /lh

[candycannibal]

reblogging a second time because i went and read the website and i unfortunately have thoughts. the makers of this website have their twitters linked to it, only one is still an active twitter account, and you can see op lists their dob as 1999. i was in no way surprised to find out that this person is young. this label shit is something that makes older queers look at me like i have 3 heads when i bring it up

slur discourse is. garbage. like that's a pretty common knowledge thing irl. it's something that almost exclusively exists online or with queers irl that exist primary online. it comes from this very binary idea that we all fit into specific boxes, or have identifier tags that only apply to us. the people who think this way don't seem to understand that we are ALL faggots to the people who use slurs. there are very few slurs that are black and white used for one group and one group only.

a good example of this is the section of the website talking about the slur shemale

[ID: shemale, this slur is used to refer to pre-op transfems (women who havent had both top and bottom surgery done.) the slur shemale is very disrespectful only transfems can reclaim this slur. End ID.]

this is simply not true. the first time i heard the word shemale used it was aimed at some random person that could have been literally anything, i have no idea, they could have been nonbinary, a trans woman, a trans man, a gnc cisgender alternative person, i remember what they look like but we never spoke. but someone sitting next to me on the bus called them a shemale, and when i asked my mom what that meant later she said "a person born with a dick and a vagina". idk wtf that person on the bus meant, and i guess my mom was trying to say intersex person, but it was 2005. as i continued to grow up and heard the word used more it was mostly something other men would throw at cis men in the way someone would say faggot, it was sometimes but rarely paired with "herm", as in hermaphrodite.

was my experience of hearing this slur as a kid growing up in the early 2000s a universal one? no. and neither is any use of a slur against a queer person (or cis person being called a slur to imply they are queer as an insult).

so who can reclaim this slur? who fucking cares. it can apply to so many members of the lgbt/queer community, and making rules about what we can or cant say is pointless and frustrating.

this kind of slur reclamation discourse is also a messy situation when you factor trans people into it at all. you know what i used to be called besides retard when i was growing up? dyke and lesbo. because i grew up a woman. and i've now transitioned to a man. what slurs can i say? what rules apply to me? WHY DOES IT MATTER? we do not need to be making censorship laws inside our community about words that we can all bond over. slurs connect us. reclamation of slurs makes some of us feel empowered. i will call myself a tranny dykefag all i want because those are things that have been used as weapons against me, and they connect me to my community.

theres so much other shit that matters that we could be talking about.

youre never gonna believe what i just found

[soyboysace]

SOYBOYSACE ♨︎_♨︎

-> about me 🧍

· lexi · 23 · she/her · twitter refugee 🧎‍♀️ · is really good at making her blog look like a predominantly 'the 1975' blog at first glance but surprise it's mostly doctor who and daddy issues · would kiss love it if we made it and abiior on the mouth with tongue · clara oswald apologist + empress of mars twelve enthusiast · tag 🏷: sbsace (lmao i'm crap at tagging this on a regular basis so)

-> interests (current hyperfixations i can't shut the fuck up about atm) 🧍

tv/film · doctor who (2005) · community · the umbrella academy · rupaul's drag race · taskmaster · community · the good place · severance

music · the 1975 · troye sivan · seventeen (i don't really post about kpop on here but they really do matter a lot to me. idk kinda considering making a sideblog for kpop since it's super diff from my other interests on here. but at the same time, i see myself as more of an old, dormant kpop stan- ugh it's a long thing. let's unpack it w my therapist later

others · valorant (reyna/brimmy/harbor main) · genshin impact (super noob! kaeya/ningguang main atm but waiting on my baby boy diluc to show up to the party (•ө•)♡) · f1

-> comfort characters (and some of my fond nicknames for them)🧍

· twelfth doctor (my little meow meow poly pocket basil!) · tenth doctor · clara oswald (my little gaslight girlpulate girlboss!) · donna noble · klaus hargreeves · zhongli (my achey breaky broke bitch!)

-> disclaimers 🧍

i truly cannot be bothered to make separate blogs for separate interests so if seeing the occasional posts that aren't about doctor who and are instead about either my other hyperfixations or about my life, this blog likely isn't for u

similarly, if twelveclara bothers u then this blog really, really isn't for u

also, most of my posts are queued (mentioning this because i'm quite proud about how i finally know wtf queuing is and now i do it religiously) totally cool if u disagree w what i post! if u feel the need to comment on it, do feel free! just don't be a dick about it and we're gucci !(^o^)!

i think that's it! pls don't hesitate to either msg me or send in a question! always open to meeting new people and making new friends on here ♡

stay swole (づ￣ ³￣)づ 🌸

[rataltouille]

GEOMETRY OF THE HOLY MOON (1 AM): A SHORT STORY

GENRE: surrealism, literary fiction.

POV & TENSE: this little space is not enough for how wild the form is so i talk about this later!!

SETTING: a small desi village, 1924-25.

TONE: dreamy, unsettling, melancholic.

THEMES: faith vs reality, how people perceive others and how they perceive themselves, grief dealt the wrong way.

AESTHETICS: the splash of water on a quiet night, thick clouds obscuring the sky, rippling the moon’s reflection on the water. the intensity of a garden in spring, the emptiness of a dying town, the suffocation from being singled out. hands grazing lightly but never fully held. a lingering sadness behind your laugh. believing in things you shouldn't believe in. putting faith on a starless sky.

STAGE: completed first draft, 4085 words.

LOGLINE: a young boy, surrounded by loss, claims to talk to god. the story follows him and his conversations with this god, all while his village spies on him as he weaves his way around the two most crucial and lonely years of his life.

LITERAL LOGLINE: on today’s news let’s talk about a small backward town that hates sad little boys who worship god, even though the place is lowkey a cult!!

CHARACTERS:

THE SUMMER BOY: he’s around thirteen, and he’s very emotionally attached to his past. he lost his family at a young age to an unstable force, so he spends his time talking to himself. he’s a quiet, demure and sweet person, always willing to help others. he’s outwardly oblivious and sees only the good in people to a point where he doesn't understand when they’re trying to do him wrong. but! considering how the story [like a lot of my others] has themes of perception vs reality, it needs to be said that he isn't all that innocent. he’s rather impulsive and rash, never afraid of hurting himself [and thus accidentally harming others].

A GOD: is he real? do we even know if he’s an actual god? a very elusive figure despite having a lot of screentime. he’s a surprisingly humanised character and arguably the one with the most empathy. he has a soft spot for the boy and the two have a deep bond which is not common for a human and a god to have. you don’t get insight to what the other gods are like, but they’re implied to exist. this story has a very messy and hazy view towards religion and godhood and their nature towards humanity, and this vague figure, a dreamlike character, is proof enough of that.

THE VILLAGE: okay so in general these people suck. the village consists of, well, the village, but they’re very fluid in the way they appear in the story? as in for the most part they appear as a collective, a unit. one character, the summer boy’s “friend”, is somewhat separate considering he’s a pretty important character. it’s very hard describing this unit of a character but essentially they’re the main antagonistic force and they hate the protagonist for seemingly no reason.

WHAT GOES DOWN:

sometime around this time, the boy chances upon meeting his “god”, this being who lives up in the clouds and whom he talks with often, except you don't know if this god is real or not. that’s one of the recurring themes of this story: what’s real and what isn’t. it’s :) a fun time :) for sure :)

essentially Things Happen And It Only Gets Weirder. i cannot even try describing what happens because it’s all very spoilery but let’s just say that this is a very sad story but not even in a “this makes me cry” manner, but rather in a “this is so fucked up wtf why”. the prose of this is very, very hazy and thick, in a manner that’s both smooth and suffocating. there’s also a lot of moon and water imagery which we love. i love the atmosphere + the setting—colonial india— as it’s a subtle but key element to the plot.

FORM:

OKAY YES be prepared for the true colours of how unhinged i am. i apologize for the form brainrot.

POV: so in this story i really said “what if it had all three of the main povs... jk jk... unless 😳😳” and then proceeded to use all three povs. you’re probably wondering, how did i do that? WHY did i do that? and my answer to that is: 🙂

the first-person pov: the summer boy narrates in first person. his pov takes up about 40% of the story, and this is where we unlock family backstory + how he feels about the various forces playing into his life. he’s an extremely unreliable narrator and he knows it; his narration oscillates between very naive and very self-aware, and this effect is pretty disconcerting. the summer boy is kind of a walking contradiction and we love that conflict.

the second-person pov: a god narrates in second person. his pov takes around 20% of the story, and his scenes all involve his conversations with the boy. his pov is extremely detached, and suspends belief because he seems awfully made up. there’s an edge to the prose in his narration, where you know that something's off, but you can’t exactly pinpoint what.

the third-person pov: the villagers narrate, either as a collective, or as an individual figure, in third person. they take up the other 40% of the story, and there are so many different people and differing opinions with this, and every time we read a third person excerpt it’s a different person, and this is mostly used to add onto the different ways in which the boy is perceived. this is also where the structural part of the form gets really wacky.

STRUCTURE: if my story isn't told in vignettes is it my story though /j. gothm is told in vignettes, each one between 50 to 500 words. the first and second person bits are normal-ish vignettes, with straightforward narration. the third person vignettes, on the other hand, are super assorted. we have a lot of epistolaric sections— there’s a letter, a folk song [which was found around the summer boy], and most of the conversation is told as just plain dialogue without tags. there’s also a phone call transcript, and finally some normal chunks of prose. what am i doing wtf.

also to add onto this the story is told non-linearly. 😀 the only thing that keeps me from going insane is the fact that there are chronological tags before most vignettes [also the manner in which they're tagged differs from pov to pov. for example a few of the third person conversations are marked just as “sunday” or “thursday”, while the summer boy’s narration is marked with the full date and year]

in all this clownery i completely forgot to mention what the tense was [the way everything else was so complicated that i forgot tense was a thing lmao] and good news!! it’s the only sane thing about this story!! it’s told fully in present tense. thank everything.

AN EXCERPT:

okay i’m once again not sharing much because this will be submitted to litmags 🧞

[The boy is scrawny as always. He carries an air of diswant— even death had rejected him when the plague killed only his grandmother— but walks like he doesn’t notice. He smiles at them, jitters, and wipes his hand across his knees. Blood comes away in thin, translucent lines. He saves it on the kerchief he keeps tucked in his shirt, careful to dirty the cloth even more. The villagers scrunch their noses in disgust; who knew how old and rotten the kerchief was, or how long it had carried blood like the unwashed sword of a warrior?]

also by the way this excerpt is in square brackets because it is a third-person interjection in a vignette that is otherwise first-person [at this point...]

SPARE THOUGHTS:

this was inspired by a conversation i had with my grandfather, where he was telling me about how people used to sing songs to the skies, as a way of devotion to a specific god. he used the [loose translation of] the english word “yearning” to refer to the emotion the singers would invoke, and that sparked the concept of a disillusioned young boy who talks to the moon as a way to please the god he’s in love with. it’s a very softly disconcerting story and once again deals with the theme of “perception vs reality” which if you know me and my work, is the theme i’m forever obsessed with.

i really like how this turned out? the atmosphere is exactly how i wanted it to be, and there’s so much i have to add on as i edit and i’m really looking forward to that. this is also the only short story i’ve written where i knew which litmag i’d love for it to be published in? like i never write things with publishing in mind, but for some reason while writing this story it occurred to me that it would be a perfect fit for this specific magazine and i love that. anyway if you’ve made it through the post till here,,,, bless you and your braincells. and that’s all for today!!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Yugi’s Senshi Outfit

So I’ve been doing a lot of work, and I haven’t looked at the blog for a hot minute and when I finally checked back in to do these posts I noticed something on my tumblr was just blowing up. I got all excited thinking “oh shoot, Did I draw something right??” and instead, it was a random post I made about the bootspants from season 1. Three years later, resurrected from the grave and covered in...thousands of notes? I don’t understand how this website works.

Anyways, the comments are mostly good, but a little bit wild. A lot of people seem to think I would know what Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is, when I’m an adult who is still watching the first 5 seasons of Yugioh. (I will never have time to watch Jojo,) and then some other people started talking about Actual Card Mechanics that went...completely beyond my comprehension. But then there was one person. One person who said one thing, and brought it all together.

Poots.

The boots that are pants.

Poots.

I can’t believe I looked at all the different combinations, but a Poots never crossed my brain.

It is so perfect, so cathartic, although it took 3 years to get there.

Poots.

Anyways, we’re in S5 and unfortunately not in poots anymore, Yugi is now dressed in a tupperware container from hell and they have wandered into a desert. On cue, Grandpa has an injury, but at least this time it’s not his ass.

You know how there’s artists who do hyper-realistic versions of pokemon monsters with detailed bone structure and muscle anatomy? I dare them to look at this orb and tell me how the hell it has wings. Like go ahead and try and pin a spine down on that thing. I’ll wait.

(read more under the cut)

So Joey decides to sprint down this endless desert with just boundless positivity.

Over the edge of this sand dune is a whole bunch of huts,just random civilization out in the middle of no where.

One girl walks over and it’s a look.

She’s really the only one here who can talk, and she just seems...so incredibly bored to be here. A whole lot of Wednesday Addams energy. She leads them into a hut where an old guy pulls a scroll out of blue fire. As you do.

Again, this arc should have been a video game, because while it’s something to get the player interested if there’s some riddle they have to solve to progress, when you’re watching a TV show, it’s not like I’m the one solving the riddle. The format is honestly one of the downers of this arc, tbh.

It has strong “I played a D+D sesh and made a webcomic out of it vibe” and I know I just called out like half of you, but listen, I will not take it back.

This episode, our gimmick is some asshole is going to be yelling at us from the other end of the map, just shouting in the background for the entirety of the episode like that tangible human skull meme.

Then Wednesday Addams hands over yet another MacGuffin because why not?

Tea can twin it up with Yugi now. Her necklace doesn’t seem haunted, but it’s only a matter of time. (also her necklace looks so freakin terrible, we’ll see it later and I’ll have a lot more to say because wtf it looks like some sort of polly pocket.)

I’m not 100% that the voice that shouts at us from the end of the hall this episode is Mokuba’s voice actress. But I’m 99% positive it is, or Mokuba’s voice is just really that type of vibe.

Stuff happens, and it felt like card duel stuff, so I’m gonna skip over the part where they pulled out their duel monsters one by one, since the fight was pointless anyway because the worms can turn you into stone. So Yugi and Pharaoh decide to have a chat about it because their plan is clearly not working.

This is when Pharaoh has a vivid lucid daydream, which seems like something that would have been more convenient before he ended up turning into stone on the floor of some desert. But, hallucinations never come when they’re convenient on this show. They usually come during card games, tbh.

Imagine with me that you’re dreaming of like...an old ass greek guy who is 99% Alexander the Great. Imagine he tells you to fuse with a sentient paper card that you already carry around in a weird capsule.

Please

For the love of all that is holy

Do not think about what it means to fuse with the Dark Magician.

Dark Magician is...he “exists” but he’s like not even a person. There seem to be whole fleets of dark Magicians, which are all the same guy, just cloned, right? Or maybe they’re a family? Or like...I don’t freakin know. Like they’re all hanging out together in some card dimension so it’d be more like fusing with the guy who dresses like Barney the dinosaur instead of actually Barney. Like he’s more of like a concept than a dude, but apparently you can just introduce him to your...whatever this armor is supposed to be, and Dark Magician turns into a Super Suit.

I want to express my thanks to the Yugioh team for not putting Yami in his underoos. Hell, they didn’t even take off his jacket. I do not know what art directer ok’d this for animation and said “yeah, this won’t kills us if we animate it.” but that is a hell ton of lines and design right there. Yeah they have 3d, and probably had to 3d that staff...but that doesn’t mean you don’t end up drawing it, in the end--you still have to draw over your 3d. You still have to draw literally everything.

Anyway, when we get to the eye of the storm. The secret to getting there was that you have to fly, which again--3/5 of these guys already have a monster that can fly. We can finally tell the voice at the end of the hall to stop yelling because it’s really bothering all the townspeople, and then move on with the quest.

Everyone else was stone during this. So when they un-petrified they kinda looked over at Yugi and were like “how freakin long was I out???”

But youknow, Yugi’s 2 people, so it’s fine. So long as you don’t get down to the third bastard still sitting around in there.

After this, our NPCs vanish, and the show pushes us directly forward. No time for them to piss off a land turtle or set a bunch of wolves on fire. Just get out of the desert and freakin go.

I’m just so bothered by this random ass huge chunky necklace.

It’s like the size of your freakin fist. And it’s just...a pentagon. Congrats Tea, you have a fake ass plastic necklace. I guess it’s so that when we’re far away we can still see it on her chest but like...This show loves huge ass necklaces, and they’re all basic ass shapes. We got a pyramid, the Kaiba’s wear squares, Bakura wears a circle with kind of phallic bits hanging off of it and this is just...it’s literally just a pentagon.

I guess Ishizu wore a wadjet and Duke has an indecipherable clown as his necklace. But man...the Yugioh necklace game is just a lot of shapes.

And so we continue on with this filler arc, which is also a pokemon arc, and even secretly has a Sailor Moon arc just stuffed in there for funsies. This arc is weird.

Also, I brought up the human skull so I legally have to post this.

Anyway, here’s a link to read these in chrono order, in case you just got here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And I’m off to drink a bin of ice water because it is 5 billion degrees right now in this house.

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 23

It's the final banquet babyyyy

(i hate how blurry that picture is but my camera just wouldn't fucking focus)(also yeah i colored in the speech bubbles, they were kinda confusing without context and didn't have anything to do with this specific frame)

So everyone's gathered in the main Sohma house, and no one really knows what's going on. They have no idea what to expect. Hiro notes that the grown-ups are "the ones who can't sit still today". Some miscellaneous stuff happens but I'm not sure if it's worth talking about? After the miscellaneous stuff, it is announced that Akito is ready for everyone to see, and out she steps in a kimono (I bet it's red; she'd look great in red, I think) and asks where Shigure is, because he apparently dipped out. Ritsu is in complete awe, does Akito partake in the same hobby he does? No, Ritsu, this is who she is.

There's a brief flashback to the previous book, where Shigure gave her something, and said "I guess you could call it a farewell present." Akito did not take kindly to that at all, and lashed out, accusing him of being the first to abandon her. He asks where she got that idea, he meant that she's finally becoming her own person, rather than the person her father wanted her to be, and his gift was something to commemorate that. Welcome in the new Akito, and all that.

Back to the present, Akito explains that the rest of the Juunishi were able to become their true selves, beyond the curse, and so she decided to as well. She tries to apologize, but she can't-- she knows that won't make up for anything that she did, at all.

It goes back to that memory with Shigure (this chapter is just a series of flashbacks and flashpresents) and he teases her, saying that he didn't know he was so important to her, and Akito insists that wasn't the case, that he was the one that she was most afraid of, the one that strayed the furtherest from her, bond or not. He says he had to keep his cool, be nonchalant, because otherwise he'd explode (ka-blooey). He says that he's childish, and doesn't like getting hurt, he hates losing, and he can't stand sharing things. This causes Akito to basically go Ó///Ò in realization, and he confirms that realization (the realization being that he likes her as well, in case you didn't catch it. It kinda took me a second on first reading, and I'm not exactly explaining this the best), and says that if Akito wants to reject him, now's the time, that if she comes to him again, it'll become a Thing. They'll become a Thing.

Back to the meeting, Akito says that she still wants to live with the Sohma family, because there are still things she feels she needs to do. She still is, at the end of the day, the head of the family, it's her duty (probably). She plans on talking to Ren, which I imagine will go well. After the meeting (I think, I don't think it's before, though timey wimey stuff is difficult), Akito is with Shigure, and he's asking if she wants him to stay at the main Sohma house, and she asks if he's angry about it. The vibe I get from him is "yesn't", honestly, but hey if they're happy, I guess it's fine.

Next chapter!

So there are two exposition characters (I'm sorry but that's really all they are) at school, and one of them sees Kyo. She gets excited, maybe she can go talk to him, and the other thinks he's waiting for Tohru, his girlfriend, to finish up with her tests. The first girl goes, "Whaaa?? When did that happen??", and the second says that it happened shortly after Tohru came back from the hospital. The first girl's hopes and dreams are apparently destroyed, I guess she liked Kyo.

It pans back to Tohru, now finished with her test, and the teacher, Mayu, wishing her a good summer vacation, it'll be her last. She also asks if something happened in the Sohma family, because a certain He seemed a little happier when she saw him yesterday. Tohru took "he" to mean Kyo and Yuki, and was basically like "yeah I guess so". Mayu played it off, yeah yeah those two that's definitely who she meant yeah totally see you next school term byeeee.

At the house (Shigure's house), Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru are talking about the meeting, and how it felt like it came out of nowhere. They were surprised that Tohru already knew about Akito, but she had to pretend she didn't for Akito's privacy (you don't just out people, that's rude). She asks if it was that much of a shock, and Yuki says he's mostly dumbfounded, though there has been a lot going on lately, a lot to think about. Kyo says he feels weird about it, simply because now he knows he's been violent with a woman all this time, but also says something about if Akito was a man, Kyo would be in trouble if there was another guy who liked Tohru. I'm not really sure where he got that idea, but Yuki thought it was pretty funny. It made Tohru realize that the air between Kyo and Yuki had cooled off significantly, and they seemed to be more at ease with each other than they ever had before (i mean in the beginning yuki would sneeze and kyo would be like "and i took that personally", so yeah they've changed a lot). She asked Kyo what had caused that change, and he told her that Yuki beat the crap out of him, and knocked some screws loose, but it was okay. They needed to be loosened.

Later, it seems that Kyo and Tohru went to Kazuma's house, where Kazuma said "I have no regrets. At this point, I'm prepared for death at any time.", because he's happy, y'know? But Tohru and (that other guy whose name completely escapes me wtf) protest at that, saying that you can't say things like that, it's not true! The other whispers to Kazuma that he can't die yet, because when they get married and have kids, he'll be a grandparent, which he seems to like the idea of. He tells Tohru that he eagerly awaits that time, but since Tohru didn't overhear it, she just awkwardly agrees that she also can't wait. (Kyo kinda caught on though)

Izusu comes in, says, "This is stupid, by the way", then walks out before anyone can respond. Tohru follows after her, and Kyo asks what Izusu was saying. Kazuma says that a lot has happened recently, and not everyone is going through the same thing.

Going with Tohru, she finds Izusu in another room, saying that she doesn't get it, how can he (Kyo, presumably) act like nothing's wrong, after all that's happened, and how Tohru can do the same, after she got so hurt?! Those kinds of hurt don't go away easily. Izusu continues, and says that if she had to choose to forgive Akito or not, she wouldn't, because she can't. She doesn't want Akito to apologize, and she can't help but feel like she's doing something wrong, because she can't make herself accept everything and move on. Tohru reassures her that there's nothing wrong with her, she didn't do anything wrong. Izusu wonders if her demeanor will turn Haru away, if it will disappoint him. Tohru says that there's no way that Haru could hate her.

The scene changes to Akito, who is talking to that one old lady who pops up every now and then, but I've never seen her name, who says that Akito went to see Ren again, but heard that she wasn't able to really talk to her. She says it would be faster to chase her out of the house, but it's also possible that Akito complicated things by staying at the house. She continues, saying how it must be nice being young, and being able to change your life so easily. She notes that she was born with the Sohma family, and raised with them, and has lived at the house for sixty years, she couldn't change her life now. Akito says that no one can change every thing, and no one would be asking her to. Maybe all she needs is a helping hand. In the end, the maid simply walks away, but y'know, not everyone wants to change, or feels like they can, it's fine.

In the next chapter, it seems like it's the date with Tohru and Kyo that Uotani and Hanajima decided to tag along with. Kyo is thinking back to that moment when he tore off his bracelet, and how afterward, Tohru picked up all the beads. She put them in a little bowl in her room, next to the picture of her mom. In the moment, he could only watch as she did it, and in all honesty he wouldn't have minded if she had tossed them into a fire, but it also occurred to him that he might regret not having them. As he watched Tohru pick up the beads, he thought of it like she was "protecting both the me of now and the me of the future". Alternatively, and this one is a bit spoopy, she was gathering the memories of the people over the (many, many, many) years that had worn that bracelet. Either way, he realized that loving someone isn't just about loving the person as they currently are, but as they were, and as they will be.

That's what he thinks anyway.

I mentioned the date but I didn't talk about it at all. They went to a zoo, Uotani got excited about seeing elephants, and they went to a place with cats, and the cats did not care either way about Kyo. It was neat. By the end of the day, Tohru went off to use the bathroom, leaving Kyo with Hanajima and Uotani. This is when Hanajima asks Kyo if he's going to take Tohru away with him. She knew the time would come, eventually, when she, Uotani, and Tohru, would part ways, but it still hurts to think about. Uotani says that, despite how they might act, they do like Kyo, even if they think he's a bit of a dumbass (Uotani's words, btw), and it's because they both think he's a good guy. He just has to take care of Tohru, because she's like family to them, so he'd best not fuck up.

When Tohru comes back, Kyo says there's a place that he wants to take Tohru before going home. Can we go see what Yuki's up to first? Okay yeah we're going to do that now, we'll get back to Tohru and Kyo, don't worry.

So Yuki's at Kakeru's place, and it seems that they're talking about their college plans. Apparently Yuki's going to a college pretty far away from where they're currently at, but if they have subjects that he's interested in, it's fine. (I don't think it's ever said what exactly those subjects are. Like, what's his major? Do I really care? Eh. But it's still nice to know. Same thing for Kakeru, what is he doing?) When Yuki says he'll be living on his own, Kakeru asks if he can manage, he doesn't want to go for a visit and see an emaciated Yuki (living on like,, partially-cooked instant ramen noodles, and several scattered half-empty water bottles in a nest of laundry and schoolwork). Yuki is more optimistic, saying he's going to learn by doing (so that means those cups of instant ramen will be completely cooked). Apparently he told Machi about it and she's fine with it, though she would not be fine if she heard Kakeru saying that anyone is "climbing the stairway to adulthood" which honestly I wouldn't be fine with that either, that just sounds stupid.

Komaki asks how Yuki's going to get the money to live somewhere, and Yuki says that he considered asking his parents, but in the end he asked Ayame to help. Ayame was overjoyed to help, and went nuts to find a place that would suit Yuki's needs (Or be the foundation of his "empire", as he phrased it).

When asked about college, Kakeru said he'd go, not because he really wants to, but mostly because people keep telling him to. He was planning on taking over Komaki's family business (they run a laundry service), but he supposes he'll go anyway.

Later, Machi shows up with a package of meat, which Komaki was very excited about. Kakeru trotted out his "stairway to adulthood" line on Machi, and Machi punched him in the face along with the meat, she somehow balanced the meat on her fist to smash into Kakeru's face, much to Komaki's distress (over the meat, not Kakeru).

Anyway, let's go back to Tohru and Kyo.

Kyo took Tohru to the graveyard, and they're standing at the Honda's family tombstone(memorial? thingie? idk), and he says that after he graduates, he wants to leave, because he's spent his whole life up until pretty recently avoiding life, and not letting himself get involved in things. But now that he's a normal person, he wants to live in the world as a normal person, with Tohru, and because of all of this, he wants to go outside of this place that he's been his whole life. Tohru asks where he's planning to go, and he says that Kazuma knows someone with a dojo, but it's really far from where they presently live. He says he's planning on going there first, attending the dojo while he works, and then one day, he'll inherit Kazuma's dojo, using the experience from the first dojo. He hesitates on asking Tohru to break away from everything and everyone she's known to go off with him, but Tohru agrees, and says she wants to go with him, as soon as possible.

There is one thing that Tohru wants to tell Kyo, and it's that she's sure that her mom never hated him. Even if she did say that she would never forgive him, Tohru is confident that she didn't say it out of hate, she knows it. She will go along with Kyo, even if it hurts to leave everyone else, because it would hurt her more to be apart from him (🥺). To end this section, Kyo says that he'll keep the promise he made to Kyoko about Tohru, all that while back, and he'll keep it for his whole life.

(don't mind me i'm just screeching and wheezing simultaneously this shit is too much i'm gonna die)

Onto the next section, it actually has to do with Kyoko and Katsuya. Mostly Kyoko, and her last thoughts before she died. At first, it was weird. What's going on? She can't hear anything, she doesn't even really hurt. Why is it so dark? Oh crap, Tohru! She can't leave yet, she doesn't want to leave Tohru alone, she only just got into high school. She hopes that she loved her enough, and that Tohru knew that, though she wished she could have had more time to love Tohru. She finally understands, though, that leaving people behind and being left behind, they're both so hard. She hopes that someone can be there for Tohru, to protect her, stay with her as she cries.

She then sees Kyo, and recognizes him as the little orange-haired kiddo she used to talk to sometimes, and hopes that even if he forgets about her, that the next time Tohru gets lost, Kyoko wants him to find her, even just once. If he doesn't do that, she'll never forgive him(that's what she meant, out of what he heard, by the way). She hopes that he can somehow take her place, and protect Tohru, and let her be happy, let her be loved by lots of people. Even if she gets lost or makes a mistake, Kyoko wants Tohru to be proud of the life she lived.

Then she wakes up in a place. I don't really know what the place looks like, but I imagine it as a light blue shimmery place, and she can see someone walking towards her, from a distance. Katsuya. Suddenly she's young again, with her long hair and uniform, and she can be with the man she loves again. (🥺😭 dissolves in my tears)

There's a time skip, now Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hanajima, and Uotani have graduated, and it soon after shows Tohru and Kyo cleaning up their rooms, and reminiscing about when Tohru first arrived. A lot has changed in that time, it's incredible. Tohru thinks on how she will miss everyone, and all the things that have happened (in the span of a year, right? This all mostly happened within a year or two?). Kyo then says that everyone loves and appreciates her, and it's not like she'll never see any of them again, it's just the start of something new. Then Tohru's stomach grumbles and she gets embarrassed (oh no im hungry how embarrassing 😖)

We then jump to Yuki and Machi, and Yuki gives Machi a key to his new place, because he doesn't want her to think that he's cheating on her (why would she think that???) and then nearly fuckin yeets it out the window when she says that she's not worried that he'd do that. (So he does want her to have trust issues? Yuki, dude, you're confusing me on this) I think that Machi is a year behind Yuki, so she won't be starting college the same time as he will, but she promises that she'll follow after him and be back with him as soon as she can, which is very sweet.

This whole section is mostly jumping from one group of people to the next, so I think I'll try to summarize:

Ritsu and Kagura are talking, it seems that Ritsu is giving Kagura his old kimonos. He's cut his hair shorter, and he mentions how Shigure apparently has quit being an author, much to the relief of his editor, Mitsuru. Kagura asks if Ritsu is going to marry Mitsuru, which leaves him very flustered. Kagura still is hung up on Kyo, and says that she'll see Kyo and Tohru go just to see Kyo. She won't well wish them, because she knows that they'll be happy regardless.

Hiro and Kisa are walking past Shigure's old house, speculating on what is going to happen to it. Hiro says he thinks it will stay as it is for a while, which makes Kisa happy. She hopes that it can stay up and that a new household can live in it. She then starts crying, thinking about Kyo and Tohru leaving, but she says that she will smile when she sees them go, on the next day. Hiro tells her to not be upset over crying, that she can cry as much as she wants, because he knows how much Tohru means to Kisa.

Haru, Izusu, and Momiji are talking, and Haru mentions how Hatori said that eventually, Shigure's gonna get punched in the face, but he never did. Momiji says that it didn't happen because they are all more mature than Shigure. He says as an aside that he doesn't think it should be allowed that Kyo is "taking away" Tohru, because he's being selfish, and that he wants to pinch Kyo. Haru asks why he shouldn't do it tomorrow, and Momiji says that he can't do it in front of Tohru, but this whole thing has given Momiji a new sense of motivation, to find the best girlfriend in the world, and then he'll show her off to Kyo (not the best motivation to find a partner but okay). Izusu pops up by saying that she thinks Tohru should break up with Kyo. I'm not sure why though.

It's shown that Hanajima is working at Kazuma's place as a cook, which is something that Kyo was not pleased to find out, but despite his best efforts, The Guy Who is Also There at the Dojo Whose Name I Cannot Remember can't figure out how to get her to leave. Kazuma says that he will miss Kyo, but he won't worry about him. He's in good hands now.

Uotani is on the phone with Kureno, saying that she'll send his regards to Tohru and Kyo. She also says that she will miss Tohru, but she's also excited for her, for the both of them. She asks if the cherry blossoms are blooming yet, and that she'll have to make her way out to see them (and Kureno) soon.

Ayame and Mine are sending well wishes gifts in the form of big flouncy dresses, for Tohru (who I imagine would be flattered but I doubt she would wear them). Mine says that now that the time has come, she finds this sensation of "children leaving the nest" to be lonely, and Ayame agrees, and says that's exactly why adults put obnoxious amounts of love into cardboard boxes with instant ramen, socks, maid outfits, what have you. (They then say that they're going to send similarly flouncy dresses to Yuki, who I doubt will respond kindly)

Mayu and Hatori are on a date, and he offers to take her with him on a summer vacation to Okinawa. He says he's never been on a "decent" vacation, and that he wants to see the country. Mayu starts cracking up at the idea of Hatori in a swimsuit, then sobers quickly at the idea of herself in one, saying that her figure isn't ideal for a swimsuit (from the way she talked about herself I think she'd be all the rage in early 2000's Western fashion).

Akito says that she's not going to see Tohru and Kyo leave, saying that if she wants to visit Tohru, she'll go and see her, but I imagine it's also for the sake of everyone else that would be there.

Finally, we end with Yuki going to talk to Tohru. He tells her that he's happy about all that has happened, and that he's glad that he has gotten to this point. He says that he was weak, that he couldn't handle being around people, but he wanted to be loved, and be needed. All he ever did, he says, is want. But during that crucial time, Tohru appeared, and fulfilled that wish without even trying. He learned so much from her, and she gave him what he needed, and that's how he is able to be the person he presently is. And he also finally says that she was basically his mother, in a way. He wonders if she was like that to everyone, with how warm, welcome, and gentle she is to everyone she meets. He goes on to say that in this time, when everyone is parting ways, everyone is thinking of Tohru, wondering if she's happy, if she's crying, if she's doing well. Finally, he thanks her, and says that he's so glad that he got to meet her, and that she was there for him, and for all of them. (He also actually says her name, which he's never done, I don't think. It's always been "Honda-san", but never "Tohru", but now he's said it. There's really not an English version of that, as far as I'm aware, but from what I know, it is a pretty significant thing.)

There's a little bit of an epilogue, showing a child walking into a house, asking where Tohru and Kyo are. A woman replies saying, "That's Grandma and Grandpa to you!", but the child pouts and says that Grandma said she could call her by her name, and that they left her behind again on their walk. The woman tells her to not get in the way of their "lovey-dovey alone time", and there's a final establishing shot of Tohru and Kyo walking together, holding hands, with Kyoko's words: "Repeat the good, and the bad. Do it all, and pile on the years."

And that's the end!

I think I'm heartless, because I didn't cry at the end. I wanted to, but I didn't. Overall, I really liked this series! It was a lot of fun to read, a lot of shit goes down, it was a rollercoaster. Thinking back on how the story started, knowing some of the events that occurred before the story started, it all kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth (mainly the teasing that Kyo gets about him "training in the mountains", and knowing what was actually going on, it's kinda hard to laugh now 😬). One thing that I was kinda expecting the story to mention, but never did, was Izusu's mark on her back. It looks like some kinda of scar, but I never saw anything addressing it. Now that I think about it, it could have been from a number of things, but it was never said explicitly, which I think is weird. I think I'm gonna leave it here (I'm typing this last portion on my phone at 3:45am so it could be better).

[wanderingpages]

All Human, Rockstar AU (Part 3). Cardan is in a band on the cusp of fame, and Jude has been there from the start. They fall fast and hard, but sometimes love just isn’t enough.

Trigger Warnings: Language, Sex, Drugs, Death (and the word ‘cunt’ sometimes I guess.)

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, ∞ Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

∞

Jude’s POV

Help me Close my Eyes - Those Dancing Days

I’m sitting on Vivienne’s new bed in her new apartment, Taryn is cross legged on the floor in front of me, leaning against the wall as our little cousin, Oak, rips open boxes. It’s only been two months since Vivienne’s told us her and Rhyia were dating, but I can never tell her that she’s moving too fast when she looks so happy to be leaving Uncle Madoc and Aunt Oriana’s place. They’ve been nothing but welcoming since our parents’ death, but at times, they could be suffocating, so I get why Vivienne took the first chance she got to move out. I’d be lying if I said Taryn and I weren’t looking at colleges out of state. The only tugging guilt is the little toddler we’ve grown attached to. As if he knows I’m thinking about him, Oak beams up at me and takes a fistful of packing peanuts and fling them in the air. “Snow!”

Taryn and I giggle, but it’s Vivienne who enters the room and immediately grabs on to Oak, spinning him in a circle before landing with him on to the bed. Rhyia pauses by the doorway, a soft smile on her face as she takes in her girlfriend playing with Oak. Behind her, her little sister, Caelia, walks in with a big box no doubt filled with more packing peanuts than anything else. She plops it on the floor and wipes at her forehead.

“This sucks,” she pouts and joins Taryn on the floor, clearly in need of a breather.

Rhyia checks her phone with a frown, “Cardan said he’d help with the boxes today.” My heart stops at his name. I’m the idiot who left my number under my cup when I couldn’t find him at the party, clearly thinking about that kiss way more than I should have, seeing as the new year is nearing and I probably still wouldn’t be getting a text from him any time soon.

Caelia waves her hand, “Oh, you know how busy he is with band stuff.”

Rhyia frowns, “He’s been cutting us off way too often. To think, I practically raised that boy.”

Caelia rolls her eyes, “You know that producer is looking into them, and after my friend’s uncle offered to manage them, they’ve been neck deep in music stuff.”

This insight suddenly gives me hope that maybe he’s just been way too busy to text me. And then dread fills me because I always guessed they’d get big, I just didn’t expect to feel left behind by it, especially since we’ve only really met twice, a couple minutes between each meeting.

I sigh – why the heck did I think two altercations with the attractive bass player gave me rights to claim abandonment?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Oak squeals behind me. My instinct is to grab my camera but I had left it home today. I reach for my phone, instead though, pulling up the camera app and hitting the record button before aiming it at Oak and Vivienne who are having a full out tickle war now. “No!” Oak cries, “Stop! Stop!”

“Oh, what the hell,” I hear a soft laughter before the camera catches Caelia jumping on to the bed, joining in on the fight.

Later, when I’m home, on Taryn’s bed while Heather hooks up the Xbox to the TV, I’m cropping the video and editing it before posting it to my social media page – the only one I have, mostly just for photos and videos.

I tag my sister, her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s sister, type up a caption, then post it. Two days later, as I’m checking the comments, my heart all but falls out of my chest.

CardanGreenbriar: WTF I can’t believe this random kid just took my spot as favorite.

CaeGreenbriar: hey that kid could be your cousin-in-law soon! Wink, wink RhyiaGreenbriar, VivDuarte :)

There’s more to the thread but it’s just banter between the Rhyia and Caelia. My thumb hovers over Cardan’s name for a second before I force myself to follow through. His page indicates that he already follows me. I gawk, astonished, before I press the follow back button. Heat rushes in my cheeks because I feel like an idiot. Why do am I so inept at social media. I could have slid into his DMs so long ago.

I scroll through his photos, finding one of the band. I smile when I see that they’ve finally come up with a name. Serpent Gold – whatever that means. He tags the band’s page and I follow that as well as the remaining three members. They’ve released an EP since the last time I’ve seen them, and on the music app I check, their daily listener views are much higher than I had anticipated.

I play the four songs on repeat as background while hours pass of me scrolling deep into Cardan’s life – family and band-wise – until I realize I’ve gotten a private message. My breath is uncharacteristically labored as I check the notification.

CardanGreenbriar: Holy shit, I’ve found you!

JudesMoods: Ominous…

JudesMoods: …But…you’ve been looking?

My heart stutters in my chest, my palms go warm and damp. I’m giddy, I realize, and nervous.

CardanGreenbriar: I promised I would

“Oh,” I say out loud, recalling practically the last thing he’s said to me right after rocking my world.

JudesMoods: That was months ago, Rockstar…I thought you forgot.

CardanGreenbriar: not possible.

JudesMoods: I left my number under my cup at the lake house.

CardanGreenbriar: What? Oh fuck

CardanGreenbriar: I promise, I had no clue.

CardanGreenbriar: I’ve been thinking about your lips on mine for weeks. Trust me, if I had your number, I’d be making good use of it.

My cheeks flush as I read over the sentence. Is this the same boy who hid in the shadows at Val’s bar?

JudesMoods: You have??

JudesMoods: been thinking about my lips, I mean?

JudesMoods: Really?

CardanGreenbriar: Yes

CardanGreenbriar: I’ve been so busy with music and trying to finish school, I barely have time to check in with Rhyia, and when I do, she’s hung up before I can muster enough courage to ask for your number.

CardanGreenbriar: your social media is nonexistent. I think I friend requested a page you hadn’t updated in years…

CardanGreenbriar: And of course, you don’t even use your sister’s last name here, but even then, you post once every ten years.

JudesMoods: I want to say sorry

JudesMoods: But I'm stuck on that part about you thinking about my lips…?

Instead of responding, he sends me a series of numbers.

CardanGreenbriar: Call me

I lean back in my bed, my heart at the pit of my stomach. I check the time, realizing how late it is. Did he mean…now? Or just in general? I take in a deep breath before further debating and hit the call option.

“Jude,” Cardan breathes into the line in lieu of a hello.

I can’t help the grin on my face. “Rockstar.” He chuckles. I ask, “What if I was a telemarketer?”

“I’d probably take out ten life insurance policies if you were a telemarketer.” He lets out a breath and there’s shuffling from his side. “I’ve missed you,” he confesses into the night.

“I forgive you.”

“For?”

“For taking this long to find me.” He laughs and apologizes but I wave him off, even though he can’t see the gesture. “Oh, it’s alright. I heard you’ve been very busy.”

“Yeah, a band wants us to tour with them this summer – but Val, my stepdad, he’s insistent on us finishing our high school credits before perusing our music. We’ve been working extra hard to get everything in order. There’s only about six months of school left for us to not only finish junior year, but senior year, too.” I can almost hear his eyes roll.

“Yeah, your sister mentioned something like that a few days ago.” I shuffle under the covers, turning on my side, facing my windows.

“My sister mentions me?”

I cross my eyes upwards at how surprised he sounds. “Cardan, I don’t know if you know this, but Caelia might be your number one fan.”

He lets out a husky sort of laugh. “I think she might be more into Larkin than the actual band.” After a pause, he says, “I like it when you say my name.”

My cheeks flush for some reason, his words are a touch more intimate in the night. “Cardan,” I test out. “Cardan, Cardan, Cardan,” I sing.

He groans into my ears, “Shit, Jude. You’re killing me.”

“Sorry,” I say, flustered. “What are you doing?”

“Looking out my window. Trying not to think dirty things about the pretty girl I’m on the phone with. She’s just moaned my name out four times in a row, so it’s quite the task.”

I giggle, pressing a hand to my warmed cheeks, “You think I’m pretty, Rockstar?”

“Jude,” he says my name on an exhale, “You’re gorgeous. You take my fucking breath away.” I don’t know much about love, but I think I could fall for Cardan if I weren’t careful.

I don’t know what we talk about, but we manage to hold a sleepy conversation for hours into the night. When I yawn, he tells me, quietly, “I should let you sleep.”

“No,” I say, my eyes shutting on their own accord. “Don’t go just yet.”

“You seem so tired, Jude.”

“I am,” I confess, delirious but not enough to discredit how delusional I must sound. “Stay with me for a minute. Don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m here,” he says. “I’ll stay with you.” When I wake up, I see that our phone call is still running, his soft breaths and quiet snores sounding through the line. I could cry at the ache my heart endures, but instead, I end our call and send him a text.

Jude: Thank you.

It’s bliss for a few weeks. Sometimes conversations go from long paragraphs about anything and everything, until we’re so busy, I have to force myself to be content with getting or sending a single text in a day. Our phone calls are sparse, but I can’t say they’re dull. He’s called once for me to settle a dispute between his bandmates, then once again weeks later to have the final say in something him and his siblings have argued over.

He tells me how his dad married three times, his first four siblings coming from Eldred’s first wife, then Caelia and him from Eldred’s second wife. The first wife still keeps in contact, but Cardan’s mother suffered with drug abuse when he was fairly young. Years later, Eldred found love in Val, and when Eldred died after his third heart attack, Val stuck around, taking care of The Herd, as Val likes to call them.

At one point I confess about the car accident my parents were in just a little over two years at that point. “The other driver… he wasn’t drunk, but he was on something. A lot of somethings. Uncle Madoc would hide newspapers and make sure we’d never actually see any reports about that night…but this is the age of the internet. Of course, we Googled the hell out of everything.” I sigh and he listens intently as I explain the camera and about how my sudden obsessive-compulsive need to film as much as I can came to be right after.

“I’m sorry, Jude,” he tells me quietly, earnestly. “I wish I could hug you right now,” he divulges, and it fills me with warmth, starting at the pit of my stomach. I confide in him about my aunt and uncle being overprotective towards my sisters and I. I admit how I’m hurt that Vivienne left us, but I understand why she did. I tell him about Oak and how I never knew I could love someone so much and he’s the only reason I hesitate to send in my application to film school far down south.

“He’d understand. He’s young but I’m sure he’d want you to be happy. Like Caelia. I know she’s sad when I don’t have as much time for her as I used to. I know she won’t admit she’s hurt but she’ll defend me to hell and back. She’s our biggest cheerleader. Balekin and Dain are proud, and Elowyn is always trying to protect our assets more than appreciate the work we’re going to be putting out, Rhyia is like a mom, partially worried but mostly happy we’re doing what we’re doing. Val is supportive as much as he can be, and also someone who keeps us grounded. But Caelia…she’s all in for us.” Cardan’s voice is whimsical in tone. “You know, she’s already designed merch for us. She can’t draw for shit, but she’s got a book of ideas.”

“That’s really cute,” I say, wondering if he can hear the smile in my voice. I wonder if I should tell him, I haven’t smiled this much since before my parents died; if I should tell him that I’ve held my happiness too close to myself, but I don’t even think about it when I hand it over to him. “I like how you all treat her as if she’s the baby, even thought that title belongs to you.”

He laughs, “Yeah, yeah. I’m only baby when I’m trying to get away with something.”

“Of course. And what about when you’re not baby?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I just want to hear him say it. It feels…sacred, somehow. Like he’s mine without really being mine. “I'm Rockstar, duh.”

∞

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