#tagging this with most things im talking about

[blossoms-phan]

you don’t have to post if it’s like something that’s not talked about but I don’t know much about dan and phil’s personal life or what they have shared and I was wondering if dan was raised by his grandma? just cause out of everyone in his family she’s the only one that he mentions with regularity and fondness

hi! it has been talked about before a lot in past years (i just fell down a rabbit hole of some peoples tags before answering this lol), and disclaimer- family relationships are complicated and nuanced, i don’t claim to know the specifics of dan’s relationship with his family other than what he’s told us. but generally speaking, dan talks about his grandma (maternal) most often and with fondness because he has a really strong bond with her, and though i don’t know if i would necessarily say he was raised by her solely, he definitely spent a lot of his childhood with her. dan has spoken about his parents not necessarily being very present/supportive when he was younger, which isn’t to say they weren’t there to like, be his parents but to my knowledge they both worked a lot and he’s talked about calling his grandma on the phone or going to her house after school and things like that. there’s a lot to unpack as far as dan’s family goes if im being so honest but dan definitely fits into that category of “oldest daughter/girls who were raised by their grandma”

[the-way-astray]

WAIT PLZ ELABORATE ABT THE ALDEN IS BETTER THAN GRADY? IM SO CURIOUS /gen

alright, anon, and everyone else i’m tagging. originally, this was going to be a "this is why alden is a better father than grady" rant, since it was supposed to include an argument defending some of alden's most controversial parenting choices and also point out grady's worst parenting choices. but i dropped the grady portion, so now this is just an alden defense rant containing two sections ("the forbidden cities" and "keefe's flashback short story breakdown"). so that's this entire post. i'll probably do the grady thing some other time, and it won't be as in-depth as this. probably, it will just be a bullet point list of some weird shit he does, and that's it.

taglist: @absolutely-existing @multi-fandom-lunatic @thatrandomlemononyourcounter1 @worldsunlikemyown @icantrememberwhoiwaslastdecember @lucentstarss

section one: the forbidden cities

the main gripe most people have with alden is probably the sending fitz and alvar into the forbidden cities thing. let’s talk about why this was decidedly not a shitty thing for alden to do.

part one: were fitz and alvar in any danger in the forbidden cities?

a lot of people try to make the argument that fitz and alvar, especially fitz, could've run into danger while in the forbidden cities. while there was no way to make it truly risk-free, i do think that these arguments are blown out of proportion. here's a quote:

(keeper, chapter 2)

fitz explicitly says that he was actually only sent to check alden’s guesses. he was not sent to wander around the forbidden cities looking for random girls. he was sent to confirm or deny alden’s theories, which alden came up himself (we can extrapolate and assume the same of alvar). which brings up an interesting point: many people claim alden should’ve done the search himself, instead of sending his six-year-old out to do it. to which i say, he . . . did? the only part of the search fitz was involved with was the confirmation. the rest was done entirely by alden and quinlin:

(keeper, chapter 10)

this, i think, was a necessary evil. first of all, alden is a grown man. he’s been looking for sophie since basically birth, and i think we can all understand why that’s not a fantastic look. sending someone closer to her age makes fitz more approachable (in theory, of course. in reality, not so much, sophie still ran from fitz). also, fitz can light leap. if he was ever in danger, it would’ve only ever been the work of a moment for him to safely get away. and like i said, it really seems like fitz and alvar were only there for as long as they needed to be to confirm the girl was or was not an elf. alvar flat out admits to this:

(neverseen, chapter 65)

as for fitz, notice the second part there. he agrees with alvar. he says he almost didn’t look past sophie’s eye color. and if you read the very first chapter, you can see that he wasn’t there for long at all. it’s very likely that when sophie first sees him with the newspaper, he just leaped in a few minutes ago, and he was planning on leaving as soon as he finished talking to sophie:

(keeper, chapter 1)

so we can conclude that each excursion that fitz or alvar took was probably not longer than ten to fifteen minutes. they never spent significant chunks of time in the forbidden cities. fitz likely took maybe a couple extra seconds to grab a random thing and leave, but that’s about it. not long enough for either of them to have run into any significant danger.

part two: how did this affect fitz and alvar's school lives?

okay, you say, the forbidden cities thing might be all well and good, but what about this quote? fitz describes how alden’s search affected his school life:

(everblaze, chapter 21)

now, it is unfortunate that fitz missed a lot of school because of the search. but he doesn’t seem too torn up about it (this entire exchange with sophie here reads as very light-hearted), which i feel is relevant. this passage mostly talks about fitz's social life, and how people didn't want to hang out with him because he was disappearing all the time. though the fact remains that i genuinely don't think fitz cared all that much about this at all. he seems to be a bit of a loner at heart, not really having many friends besides keefe, biana, and biana's friend(s), like maruca. this continues even after he and keefe become "cool", so while the search clearly took a toll on his social life, it really doesn't seem to bother him that much. and i really think alden would’ve left the choice of whether or not to participate in the search up to his kids, not forcing them if they absolutely didn't want to participate. so in the case that fitz did decide he didn't want to skip so much school, i think alden would've been fine with booting him from the search. here’s a quote from alvar:

(neverseen, chapter 65)

he specifically states that the reasons he did the search were to keep his dad happy and to sneak away to the forbidden cities. also, the fact that sophie even asked this question and got a serious answer back already implies that fitz and alvar had "reasons" of their own for wanting to do the search, like the ones alvar states here. as in, their reason was not "my dad made me do it". (we're going to ignore the fact that alvar's reason likely had way more to do with helping the neverseen find sophie than anything.)

so okay, maybe alvar's just saying that, maybe he doesn't actually feel like that. to that i say, let’s look at this quote, a quote after alvar’s true colors have been revealed:

(flashback, chapter 49)

even though he is literally ranting about his parents here, nowhere, not even once, does he mention or even imply that alden forced, manipulated, or otherwise pressured him to do the search. if alvar truly held any ill will toward alden for sending him on the search, now would be the perfect time to express that. yet he doesn’t. we can extrapolate and assume the same of fitz: that alden didn’t in any way try to manipulate or trick fitz into going. i honestly believe that the second either of them had expressed that they didn’t want to do the search anymore, alden would’ve found another way. and i do think fitz would’ve expressed that if he wanted out. once again, when he tells sophie the story i quoted above (everblaze, chapter 21), it’s done very light-heartedly, with no malice toward alden that sophie can detect.

let’s talk about fitz’s academic life now. he missed a lot of school. obviously that takes a toll. but look at this quote:

(flashback, chapter 21)

fitz ranked, and probably continues to rank, number one in his entire level. he did just fine in school. alden’s search clearly didn’t impact his ability to perform well. back when i was an alden hater, i actually used this against alden, saying that if fitz ranked so high and did better than anyone else (including keefe who literally has a photographic memory), then he must’ve had to work incredibly hard on top of the work he already had to put into alden’s search, and we don’t know how that affected him behind the scenes. and i don’t agree with that take anymore. i think fitz would’ve told alden if it became too much for him, and even more than that, i think alden would’ve checked in with fitz proactively to make sure the combination of the search and school wasn't getting to him. there’s no evidence to confirm or deny, but i think it’s safe to assume. look no further than the reason alden even sent fitz out at six years old in the first place:

(neverseen, chapter 1)

he clearly prioritized his children's education, and when the situation called for it, he found another way. he understood that alvar wouldn't be able to sneak out of the towers anymore, and he was not willing to put alvar's education at risk. when it came to it, he always put his children before his search. he was never willing to truly sacrifice what truly mattered for his search.

also just throwing this in here, but alvar, just like fitz, did exceptionally well during his basic level years. we have no evidence that the search affected his academic life in any real way, but rather the opposite (that he did just fine):

(nightfall, chapter 16)

section two: keefe's flashback short story breakdown

(note: i will be using this transcription by @/kotlc-deleted-scenes for quotes. in case you weren't aware, there's a blog entirely dedicated to transcribing exclusive scenes, deleted quotes, and other not-widely-known extra kotlc material. check it out if you haven't read all the short stories. okay, advertising over.)

so i don't like ro. that's a subject for another time, but my hatred for her particularly manifests in this scene, because i think a lot of people see her interpretation of what alden is saying, and then take it as some gospel truth. but the only perspectives we're seeing here, actually, are keefe's (because it's his pov) and ro's (because she can't keep her mouth shut). we don't know what alden's thinking or what he means when he says what he's saying. all we get is keefe and ro's almost-certainly skewed views on this scene. so just keep that in mind as you read this entire short story.

i feel like there's a good chunk of people out there that genuinely think alden went there that day with the intention to tell keefe to stay away from sophie and let sophie be with fitz and stop trying to mess with sophie and fitz's relationship and back off, keefe. this is blatantly false. he came there with the intention to invite keefe to the tribunal, and because of ro he ended up needing to justify his decision to ask keefe and sophie to be there. which is fine! it's not like keefe didn't deserve an explanation. but then you can't get mad when he explains his reason, which is perfectly valid.

so let's talk about why ro's outburst is, in my opinion, not grounded in any sort of reality. first of all, alden says fitz doesn't exactly excel at controlling his temper (true). he then asks keefe (an empath, and also fitz's "best friend") to help calm fitz down. honestly, i shouldn't have to explain this, since alden says this all himself.

ro's comment seems to imply she thinks that alden's nefarious little plan here is to let fitz take his anger out on keefe for no reason. but that's clearly not what's going on? he invited sophie because he thinks fitz needs her, and invited keefe because he doesn't want fitz to take his anger out on sophie. he doesn't want fitz to take it out on keefe, either. he just thinks keefe is better able to stop fitz from doing something he'll regret than sophie is. he doesn't want to see either keefe or sophie be the target of fitz's temper, and just thinks keefe is better equipped to handle it than sophie is.

whether or not alden is correct with this line of reasoning, i think, is a different discussion entirely (the fact that he later implies sophie and fitz will inevitably end up together, while also not being confident they can handle their own problems without a third-party friend intervening is . . . contradictory, to say the least). but he was speaking his mind, and while he might have been wrong, he was not being manipulative, which seems to be the argument here.

so alden thinks fitz "needs" sophie. i'd once again argue that he's wrong, but i would not argue that he's being manipulative. he then, and this is important, seems nervous and tentative as his eyes shift to keefe, because he knows that keefe has a crush on sophie. now, before i tackle that whole thing, i’d like to once again emphasize that alden did not come to the shores of solace with the intention of telling keefe to let fitz have sophie or whatever. they shouldn’t even be having this conversation right now, honestly, but since ro is so fucking annoying, they are. alden’s intention with this visit was to request keefe go to the tribunal. that’s literally it. that’s all. this fitz-and-sophie tangent is a side quest.

okay, back to the main point. here’s what alden sees: two teenagers that have a crush on each other, and a third that has unreciprocated feelings for one of them. all three of the teenagers are friends. he is trying to preserve all three friendships, and i'd argue that he's especially trying to prevent keefe from heartbreak. again, is alden right about the whole sophie-fitz-keefe love triangle situation? no. but that doesn't make him manipulative. not only does he know that keefe has unreciprocated feelings for someone who has reciprocated feelings for someone else, but he's aware that keefe knows this, too. (side note: when i say keefe has unreciprocated feelings for sophie, who has reciprocated feelings for fitz, i mean that it was known she had a crush on fitz, and if you want to argue she had hidden feelings for keefe, you at least have to admit that she wasn't aware of them at this point in time. keefe's reaction to alden's words ("he was always trying hard not to think about it, because it made him want to punch things") only makes it clearer to me that keefe himself is also aware that sophie has known feelings for fitz.) once again, reading alden's body language clearly reveals how gently he's trying to communicate this, and i'd even argue that he doesn't want to even be saying any of this at all. but once again, we can blame ro for all our problems.

will ro keep her goddamned mouth shut. anyway. i'm not going to talk about how weird it is to imply that sophie doesn't know her own feelings, because that's not what this is about. but even if sophie doesn't know her own feelings, it's still incredibly insensitive to disregard the fact that she likes fitz here and now.

alden goes on to say that sophie doesn't know what she feels because fitz hasn't confessed his feelings yet, which may seem like he doesn't care about sophie (or keefe) as much as he does fitz, but again. he seems super convinced that sophie and fitz like each other (which they do, at this point). he wants them to be happy together. there's some cognitive dissonance about the true nature of their relationship, but his heart is in the right place. and once again, he is not telling this to keefe because he sees keefe as competition for fitz over sophie. he's telling this to keefe because he doesn't want him to do something that would endanger his relationship with either fitz or sophie.

and keefe knows this, too. he literally states in that last part that he's well aware sophie and fitz like each other, and that at one point he's going to have to deal with that even though he has a crush on sophie. so you can't even argue that alden's line of reasoning is illogical. it's wrong, but it's a logical conclusion to come to.

that top paragraph there once again reveals why alden is doing any of this at all. he just wants keefe to get out of this situation without any heartbreak because he knows keefe has an unreciprocated crush on sophie. keefe, being sixteen, vehemently denies this. and you can see that alden is not being particularly nosy here, actually. he corrects keefe when keefe lies, but he doesn't pressure keefe to talk about it, and doesn't ask any further questions. he's just letting keefe know that he is aware of the entire situation.

maybe if ro wasn't here to skew everyone's view of what's going on here, people wouldn't fall for the alden-is-evil-and-trying-to-manipulate-keefe propaganda so readily because every. single. word. of that sentiment in this story comes from ro. alden is not meddling. if anyone's meddling, it's ro. in fact, ro has gone and continues to go way past meddling in future books, but. that's besides the point.

and yes, this is the definition of caring. once again want to remind everyone that alden did not come here with the intention of telling keefe to let sophitz happen. the conversation took an unexpected twist and now they're here. and as i've already said, alden's body language suggests anything from trying his best to prod gently and let keefe down easy all the way to being uncomfortable that this conversation is even happening at all. but every piece of advice he's given keefe up until this point is valid.

and i know the alden antis knows this well because every time keefe starts monologuing (in an incredibly forced manner) about how he's not going to sabotage sophitz's relationship and how he's going to wait until sophie's ready and how he'd never listen to ro about shooting his shot and how he's ready to support sophitz even though he has a crush on sophie, everyone acts like he's some brave martyr that's willing to be in all this pain as long as sophie's happy and talks about how amazing and angelic and kind and perfect he is as a love interest for her. but when alden says virtually the same thing, the only difference being that he's a third party character, people immediately paint him as the devil incarnate. so keefe deciding that he's not going to wreck sophitz's relationship by staying out of it is selfless and sweet, but alden giving keefe advice to do that same exact thing is somehow cruel or manipulative?

and i have no idea why people have such a problem with alden pointing out that he sees keefe as a son. like. point out the part in that sentence where alden is manipulating keefe. i would like to see it. he's just stating a fact. sorry him stating a fact pissed you all off so bad. there's literally an actual-book flashback scene where alden is the first person in keefe's entire life to tell him that he's proud of him. have we missed the fact that keefe has seen alden as a father figure, too? the fact that this is not made-up, not just being stated out of the blue, but rather just an assurance of something both of them already know?

alright then . . . now let's talk about the part where this entire story is told from keefe's perspective (and ro's, because again, she cannot keep her mouth shut). he feels hurt, and i'm not saying he doesn't have the right to. being told your crush doesn't like you out loud probably hurts. so yes, he doesn't feel good. but that doesn't mean that alden is in the wrong here for what he told keefe. it just means keefe has a crush that seems to be unrequited right now, and that having an unrequited crush hurts.

we are going to ignore the fact that this is my favorite part . . . anyway. ahem. this is very important, so listen up, folks. alden sees himself in keefe. this entire scene, i guarantee you, what's running through his head is the fact that (he thinks) he was in keefe's exact position at one point. he understands keefe's position, and he wants keefe to know this. this is why he tells keefe this story. because he doesn't want keefe to misinterpret what he's saying as malicious or a personal attack on keefe (the way ro is). he's saying this because he's trying to spare keefe the heartbreak that he went through.

keefe then appears to be in denial. sixteen year old boy. i think the most important thing here is that alden bypasses lecturing keefe on how one day he'll find his true match. this implies two things to me: one, alden is just as uncomfortable with this conversation as keefe is and is trying to end it quickly and painlessly for them both, and two, alden can sense that keefe is uncomfortable and doesn't want to draw this out for him. both things show that alden understands keefe's position and also once again nails in the fact that alden never wanted or intended to have this conversation at all.

okay. now to what is probably the most controversial thing alden says: "let them be happy". alright . . . this is not an inherently bad thing to say. like please explain to me why this is a shitty thing for alden to say. remember: alden sees three friends, two with reciprocated feelings for one another and a third with unreciprocated feelings for one of the pair. and it's once again also something keefe himself thinks . . . so much of his pov in unlocked and unraveled is just him wallowing in the fact that he has a crush on sophie who likes fitz and how he'd never even think about shoving his way in between them or whatever. it gets hella tiring to read and is clearly just shannon attempting to make up for the possessive wreck she made keefe in neverseen through nightfall . . . anyway. back to the point. this is apparently all fine and dandy for keefe to think, but when alden tells a teenager not to interfere with an assumedly reciprocal relationship between two other teenagers (and out of concern that the first teenager's heart will be broken, no less), it makes him the scourge of the earth. seriously, what is so wrong with telling keefe to let sophie and fitz be happy together. once again, alden is wrong in assuming sophie and fitz are or would be happy together but that does not make him manipulative.

again, this story is told from the perspective of sixteen year old boy with unrequited feelings. he does not feel good upon hearing these words. that doesn't mean the person who said them is in the wrong or manipulating him somehow.

important part!!!! alden once again references something that gives us a peek into his thought process: he lost both of the friendships that he had because of his feelings. he doesn't want keefe to also lose his friendships with fitz and sophie over his feelings!!!! keefe is not in the same situation that alden was in, but alden doesn't know that. he's once again wrong, not manipulative. he is trying to preserve keefe's relationships with sophie and fitz . . . what part of this is manipulative.

as for "there's only one way this ends", that was decidedly untrue and pretty shitty. but notice how after ro's comment (her only valid comment about this entire situation), he realizes he was wrong and says as much out loud. he literally admits that "only time will tell", negating his earlier statement and acknowledging that ro is right (this one time). once again, his perspective on the situation is incredibly skewed. this is why he's so insistent that there will be only one way this will end. but then, after he realizes that what he said is wrong and that actually, things can change and he is in fact talking about a group of teenagers, he concedes ro's point.

i'm going to say that again: unlike ro, alden actually concedes this point!!!! he actually admits that he was wrong and immediately walks it back. he does not "ship sophitz". he does not prioritize his son over keefe. he actually wants what's best for three teenagers he sees as his own children!!!! this is why he concedes the point to ro, that sophie (and keefe and fitz) is a teenager and may not know what she actually wants in life yet. because he cares what sophie wants. this is something i'd argue ro doesn't care about, but again. this is an alden defense rant, not a ro hate rant.

and he's right that it doesn't change where they are today and the situation they're currently in, which is still that sophie and fitz have reciprocated feelings for one another and keefe does not. any good friend would step back and not interfere in this situation. alden is literally just telling keefe to be a good friend, and from personal experience, too. what exactly is so wrong with this. please do enlighten me.

alden then leaves, having said his part. he really does not want to stretch this out, either for keefe's benefit or his own discomfort with the conversation he was lowkey backed into by ro. it's also important to note that alden does leave the choice of whether or not keefe actually wants to come to the trial up to keefe himself. keefe is sad and emotional because his crush on sophie is the size of the sun. but that doesn't take away the validity of alden's statements (given his perspective). and he does it as gently as he can. it wasn't what keefe wanted to hear, and it made him uncomfortable, but in alden's defense he never intended to have this conversation in the first place. start yelling at ro instead of alden if you're annoyed by the fact that alden would want to have this conversation with a teenager. he actually did not.

. . . and the rest of this story is just ro trying to misinterpret everything alden said in the worst way possible. if i were to try to debunk everything she said, i'd just be repeating everything i already said over and over. i've already repeated myself a lot in this section. so we aren't going to do that. hopefully looking at the things alden actually said and breaking down why they are not shitty or manipulative, even unintentionally, will be enough. once again: alden is wrong about the reality of what's going on between sophie, keefe, and fitz, but given his perspective, it is not manipulative or invalid or even illogical for him to say any of the the things he said to keefe.

and the final thing i'll say is: ro is, to put it very bluntly, what you would get if you took a sokeefe pinterest fan and dropped them into the series, allowing them to interact with the characters themselves. one of the main things we know about her is that she is the sokeefe shipper. this is obviously going to tint how she sees anyone even suggesting sokeefe aren't perfect happy couple material. in this case, everything she says implies alden is the devil incarnate for telling keefe to not interfere with his friends' relationship, and out of personal experience, too. ro's otp is then (sort of, temporarily) ruined, and she deals with this by trying to manipulate keefe into thinking alden doesn't have his best interests in mind, because alden is getting in the way of her ship. thank you, ro. you've also managed to brainwash half this fandom into thinking the same, somehow. it's not true, but somehow that's the spin that's put on it.

i urge people to try to read this short story while blocking out everything ro says, and see if that changes your opinion on what alden is saying. because i genuinely feel that ro's presence in this story is a major contributing factor to why people are so eager to turn on alden. again, everything ro says is an opinion. everything alden says is just. what he says. so just try to listen to the words he actually says and leave ro the fuck out. it may actually improve your opinion of him.

[nyannyannyanx3]

"this thing is just a phase"

1) just because something is not understandable to you (mainly because of bigotry and ignorance), doesn't not mean it's a temporary thing that somebody identifies as.

2) even if it was a phase, that still does not mean it's bad, confusing, etc. everyone has gone through many phases through life, like emo, furry, weeb, etc phases. A therian, gay, etc phase is no different from them.

3) stereotyping everybody's experience and personal being as "just a phase" because of some people is.. immature and idiotic. what a surprise.

People change, some don't. People can realize who they are at any age, any look, any gender, any thing. You aren't "cool" or "tough" by spreading hate.

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[abstractfrog]

Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me

[xxplastic-cubexx]

🧙‍♀️🐈‍⬛

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[remxedmoon]

You should tell us about color psychology that sounds cool as hell

YES… HA HA HA… YES!

GGGOD I WISH I WASN’T OUT OF THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. but i’ve been thinking about colors literally all day so you all get to be subject to my madness! sorry this is long and rambly wauaua. nightmarishly long post under the cut.

okay. first things first, a few basics. color theory and color psychology tend to get confused a lot in discussions, but they usually refer to different things. color theory is more about we physically perceive colors (color wheels and color schemes the like), while color psychology focuses on our emotional response to colors. if you’re familiar with the children’s hospital color theory post, that poster wasn’t actually talking about color theory, but color psychology (and also it’s incredibly surface level and heavily misunderstands the subject because in what fucking universe does the quantity of positive associations with a color matter more than the context it’s used in and sorry i have personal beef with this tumblr post).

color theory is also a special interest of mine but i’m not gonna touch on it too much here because it’s not entirely important. mmmaybe another time…

essentially, certain colors (and color combinations) have associations in our brains and that affect our behavior and emotions. these associations are also very much affected by the context a color is used in. colors don’t exist in a vacuum! so while red can symbolize passion and love when used in something like a dress or a bouquet of flowers, it has a very different connotation when it’s, say, splattered on the walls or smeared on the ground in a snail trail.

or for a less Children’s Hospital Themed example, i’ll put my euphrasie and king designs here!

(of course the saturation and brightness of these blues play a massive part in how they’re perceived but this is not a post about color theory this is n)

and, of course, combining colors in a piece can also change their meanings!! i’m about to get real fucking normal.

i’m gonna be focusing on the color combo of red and yellow here because it’s the one that’s most relevant to my art (and also it’s really interesting.) basically, seeing these two colors together activates the part of our brain that controls our appetite, making us actually feel hungry. this is why so many food companies use red and yellow in their branding! it’s neat stuff!!

also, if you’re familiar with it, this is why the mv for butcher vanity uses this color palette!! along with red’s general associations with danger and blood, the color combo also physically induces hunger. pretty fitting for a song about cannibalism!

(there is also red’s association with lust and passion and how that intersects with the double meaning in the lyrics but i cannot derail this post into being an analysis of butcher vanity i’m sorry. we’d be here all week. maybe another day... wipes a tear from my eye)

and i think this might be the reason why some people feel hungry when they see my art, even when i’m not drawing food. while i don’t tend to use red outright, most of my art has very warm undertones (red-oranges and yellows especially), which could be activating that hunger response??

(ah fuck color theory managed to weasel its way into this post again)

admittedly this part is just speculation on my end. i think my rendering style and Shapes also play a role in it, but it’s interesting for me to think about!!

this is only scratching the surface of how complicated colors can get. i was going to go on an entire tangent about color grading and how green lighting can make a scene feel unnerving but this post is already Too Fucking Long. aaaa super sorry if this is Rambly or hard to understand!! i’m not Entirely sure how much the average person knows about color theory and psychology so if there’s any confusing terms here i’m fine with adding stuff for clarity!

wauauuaa thank you so much for asking!!!! i love talking about colors.

tl;dr colors have a bunch of different emotions and meanings tied to them, but you’ve gotta pay attention to the context in which it’s being used. so maybe take a step back before you put that thick red trail on the floor of your children’s hospital.

[meamiki]

mira !!! :]

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

I love your depiction of Hamilton and Lafayette, it’s so funny! Lafayette is so sweet and happy and Hamilton just has beef w/ the entire world. I can’t wait to see more of their brotherly relations in ur AMAZING art style

God, they're so narrative foil coded

Seriously though, there's some fantastic contrast between them. They're just similar enough (both roughly the same age, both insecure and glory hungry, + their "shared father" or whatever Lafayette said) - and yet they manage to be exact opposites at the same time.

I could say more but I think this bit from Mike Duncan's biography about Lafayette basically gets at what I'm trying to say:

"Like Lafayette, Hamilton grew up without a father. He also lost his mother to a fatal illness at almost the same age Lafayette lost his. But where the tragedies of Lafayette’s childhood made him the heir of a fabulous fortune, the tragedies of Hamilton’s illegitimate childhood left him systematically cut out of his family’s inheritance. So where the dark clouds of Lafayette’s life were lined with silver, the dark clouds of Hamilton’s life were simply dark. Lafayette emerged from childhood buoyant and effusive, Hamilton cynical and reticent. But even though Hamilton started life a penniless bastard on the periphery of European civilization, and Lafayette started life an insanely wealthy heir in the heart of a great kingdom, they fell into an easy friendship. French was not the only language the two young men shared. The also shared a code of personal honor and a desire to prove themselves to the world." -Mike Duncan, Hero of Two Worlds, The Marquis de Lafayette in the Age of Revolution

Now, I am not qualified to speak on the real figures, but I do like to write. So, there is a narrative opportunity here that drives me insane.

Like, cast Hamilton as brilliant, but overly cynical with a habit of assuming the worst in people, and give him a negative character arc where he comes close to recognizing the potential good of humanity but ultimately falls into his more authoritarian tendencies. Then contrast him with Lafayette who's more naive. He's not quite sheltered but unfamiliar with the sort of selfishness and greed he'd have encountered if he grew up in a more vulnerable financial position. In coming to America he, like Hamilton, is forced to reckon with contempt, greed, and the failings of democratic government. But, unlike Hamilton, still manages to come out of it with a generally positive opinion of humanity.

I'm just saying, if I were writing history to contain ✨themes ✨ they are a perfect opportunity.

[dreamsy990]

some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

[canonically47]

why couldnt i have become obsessed with something useful like maths or something what the FUCK is toxic old man yaoi

[wickjump]

a formal thank you to jakei for not blocking me for talking about cross 174832898 times a day. i probably would block me i'm really annoying. any way i very much extremely appreciate you andyour au.hhave a good break your so cool

love wick

[robinson-graves]

[sits up suddenly from my coffin] anybody fuck with my super danganronpa 2 x guy who didnt like musicals au

[fideidefenswhore]

so tired of tudor dramas where there are no women… and even when there are women… there aren’t…ykwim?

[animangalover-writes]

Yk it really bothers me when I see people talking about eurylochus and the crew like they were the problem. It just feels like everyone is just missing the point. Yes they stopped listening to ody, yes eurylochus opened the wind bag, but that's what makes them so human.

Picture this, you leave your home to fight in a war. It takes literal years for this war to be over. You've lost friends, you miss your family, you've been through hell. You're starving and your captain tells you they found food on this island.

And then the cyclops happens. More friends die, you barely escape with your life, and your captain gives his name to the creature that killed your friends.

And everything after that is a direct cause of that decision.

So you hesitate to trust him. Yes he's smart, he's capable, he always has a plan. But he would do anything to get home, and you know that. So when he comes back to the ship claiming to have a bag full of wind, and when he refuses to let anyone near, refuses to trust his own crew, you get suspicious.

Its been about a decade by this point, and your captain seems to get more and more desperate to get home. A god is after you. Odysseus is forcing himself to stay away, all to make sure nobody touches that bag.

Its human, it's realistic, it makes sense that someone would open the bag. Because odysseus stopped trusting you, and so you stop trusting him. So you open the bag.

I just find it frustrating that people look at the crew/eurylochus as bad guys because of this, as pawns for ody to get home and thats it. The point of the show is that ody has become a monster, has dealt with and left behind his humanity. We, as listeners, root for him. We give him grace because of his circumstances. Because he's the main character.

But for some reason, people don't give that same grace to the crew. They're human, their circumstances are awful too. They have no idea if they will get home, they aren't sure then can trust their captain anymore. They question things. They make mistakes. They cause the deaths of others. It's human, its that feeling you get when you think that maybe hope is lost after all, it's what this story is about. Mistakes and loss and blame.

People dislike Eurylochus because he opened the bag. But odysseus gave the cyclops his name. And polites trusted the lotus eaters. And Athena told odysseus to be cruel to a fault. Nobody here is innocent, not really. And none of them knew better either. They were working with what they had, with the terrible circumstances at hand. It's no wonder they made mistakes. It's no wonder people died.

Why are we ignoring the humanity of the crew? Why are we arguing that they, or that eurylochus, deserved it? If the story was about them, odysseus would be seen as the bad guy. But he's the main character, so the others are stupid and wrong, right? All that matters is that odysseus gets home, right? Even if it costs the lives of his crew. His crew who stopped trusting him when he stopped trusting them. His crew who he sacrificed to get home.

I think we're missing the point here. Odysseus did become a monster, and although we cheer for him getting home and Penelope and Telemachus forgive him, we have to acknowledge that he did do terrible things. Those men will never see their families again. Why are we erasing that humanity in them?

Humans do bad things for the sake of saving themselves or the ones they love. That includes Odysseus. That includes Eurylochus. That includes the crew. And that includes every other character in this musical.