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#it feels weird to have thoughts publicly lol
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I love your depiction of Hamilton and Lafayette, it’s so funny! Lafayette is so sweet and happy and Hamilton just has beef w/ the entire world. I can’t wait to see more of their brotherly relations in ur AMAZING art style
God, they're so narrative foil coded
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Seriously though, there's some fantastic contrast between them. They're just similar enough (both roughly the same age, both insecure and glory hungry, + their "shared father" or whatever Lafayette said) - and yet they manage to be exact opposites at the same time.
I could say more but I think this bit from Mike Duncan's biography about Lafayette basically gets at what I'm trying to say:
"Like Lafayette, Hamilton grew up without a father. He also lost his mother to a fatal illness at almost the same age Lafayette lost his. But where the tragedies of Lafayette’s childhood made him the heir of a fabulous fortune, the tragedies of Hamilton’s illegitimate childhood left him systematically cut out of his family’s inheritance. So where the dark clouds of Lafayette’s life were lined with silver, the dark clouds of Hamilton’s life were simply dark. Lafayette emerged from childhood buoyant and effusive, Hamilton cynical and reticent. But even though Hamilton started life a penniless bastard on the periphery of European civilization, and Lafayette started life an insanely wealthy heir in the heart of a great kingdom, they fell into an easy friendship. French was not the only language the two young men shared. The also shared a code of personal honor and a desire to prove themselves to the world." -Mike Duncan, Hero of Two Worlds, The Marquis de Lafayette in the Age of Revolution
Now, I am not qualified to speak on the real figures, but I do like to write. So, there is a narrative opportunity here that drives me insane.
Like, cast Hamilton as brilliant, but overly cynical with a habit of assuming the worst in people, and give him a negative character arc where he comes close to recognizing the potential good of humanity but ultimately falls into his more authoritarian tendencies. Then contrast him with Lafayette who's more naive. He's not quite sheltered but unfamiliar with the sort of selfishness and greed he'd have encountered if he grew up in a more vulnerable financial position. In coming to America he, like Hamilton, is forced to reckon with contempt, greed, and the failings of democratic government. But, unlike Hamilton, still manages to come out of it with a generally positive opinion of humanity.
I'm just saying, if I were writing history to contain ✨themes ✨ they are a perfect opportunity.
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Daily Log
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Badly carved an eye into an avocado pit with a nail cuticle tool thing. trying to think of better designs to carve into avocado pits. I don't really have the right tools, maybe should order some carving tools. I hate buying things online eeeeee..
Worked on translating a poem into Avirrekava (my constructed language for one of my fantasy species) so I can paint it onto a tapestry sort of thing I'm making, kind of in the style of medieval illuminated manuscripts? I do not have paintbrushes small enough.
Spent a lot of time thinking more about the story with an investigator tracking a doctor who's doing strange experiments and they eventually become friends(ish) after trying to kill each other a few times, lol (set in my fantasy world though, so magic is involved, etc. It's just interesting to think about testing the limitations of magic and what type of experimentation people would do, especially if you own a hospital or morgue or other scenario where you have access to bodies, or good cover for hiding them, etc. Plus worldbuilding religions in the world, what their ideas of morality would be, what an "investigator" or police force would even look like in that setting, etc. Two jhevona main characters in a city full of elves and the in-world politics of that, class war and royals, pretentious scholar communities and how they'd operate, actual magic combat between two advanced magic users and what that would look like (mixing illusions or higher level spells with minor brute force tactics, evasion, enchantments, shapeshifting, etc.) etc. etc. ).
Organized some of my plants, but still need to replant some fully. Succulents grow SO fast, I think I'll run out of room. Also one has burnt to a crisp during the heat wave last week.. my son.. ToT.
Edited a few costume photos then gave up because my camera is evil and I always have that thing where it looks really cool in the mirror but then the final photos suck, which demotivates me to even do anything with them/feels like a waste.
Still chronic health issue sick stinky as usual, plus it's still warm inside from the heat a few days ago so being hot makes joint pain worse... evil.. no energy. fell asleep on the floor for like 30 minutes.
Tried a new oreo flavor and ranked it on my comprehensive oreo ranking list. Mediocre as usual, but I'm too far in to give up now gghj.. I have to just try them all. A fool's labor.
Notable sights: found one 6 leaf clover, two 5 leaf clovers, and eleven 4 leaf clovers. Saw a rabbit, 3 cats in windows, and 4 ducks. Also at some point I was squishing gum in my hand and pulling it apart and when stretched out it would make these really cool spindly spider web patterns. The sky later in the day was hazy pink, purple, and blue pastel sunset.
Goals moving forward: Wake up on time even if I feel sick when I wake up!!! Focus on more immediate projects, don't get distracted. Actually make room for investing in social time and replying to people even with minimal energy reserves. Stay consistent with physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, email doctors, edit pictures, post the poll adventure thing that has been sitting in a draft for weeks.
Notable foods: None today, but I have asparagus for later which is exciting... my new favorite vegetable whilst on the stinky Nutritionist Prescribed Special Limited Diet
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#I don't know the point of posting this publicly#maybe just makes it feel more like I'm doing somehting or easier to hold myself accountable making a public declarations#of my goals and progress or etc. lol#Weird blog content I think but then also this IS like.. my personal blog so#. technically I can do whatever. It's just an atypical format of personal post ghgj#ALSO the finding so many clovers thing is cool because just last week I also found one 6 leaf clover and a few 5 leaves and a#ton of 4 leaves. I hadn't found a 6 leaf clover in a few years until literally the past few weeks Iv'e found two of them#The most I've ever gotten is a 7 leaf. Maybe just one?? possibly two but I think just one of them.#so I guess the ultimate goal would be 8 leaf. if that's even plausible.#I don't know what to do with them all though. I put them usually in the book with the rest of my pressed flowers and then#move them into a container once they're dried out. I could make more flower arrangement type things (like gluing dried flowers#to a page in a pattern) out of them like I have a few times. Or use them with the wax seal stamps or something#but I have so many.. IF i OWNED AN ACTUal house or somehting it'd be cool to do like.. a Wall#a clover wall where I just post them up everytime I've collected some. and see if I can fill the whole wall over time#One day ... if I can ever be successful at the Game Of Resources And Capitalism enough to have a modest little#home in like.. Scotland or canada or something... I can finally paint walls and do interesting things#REALLY have always wanted to have a cloud mural on the cieling of a room or etc.#aNYWAY....#any other Clover Hunters out there.. tell me what you've found. the mythical 8 leaf?? or anything idk.#avocado pit carving tips. tell me what you thought about the Black Out Cake oreo flavor. etc. etc. hgjhghjb#daily log
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#u kno what i dont like? when i talk abt doing something completely bananas that i would absolutely do if i was even a little less socially#conscious and then whoever im talking to is like lol do it#idk maybe im just slightly distorted abt it but i have a compulsive need to do what ppl tell me to and i kno ppl would think i was real#weirf for doing the things so im just like. r u making fun of me? bc truely i cannot tell#like i dont have a good grasp on how well i read ppl. sometimes i think im ok at it. like i can deduce things from context clues#but if someone is not being clean then its fucking way over my head but idk sometimes i cant tell if im being made fun of#like u kno when u make someone laugh and ur like well i wasnt really trying to b funny. i was just saying whats in my head#so was that nervous laughter bc i said something kinda off the walls or was it laughter at my expense#again im probably just distortion bc my sister used to publicly call it out whenever i was being weird but idk#i just wish ppl said what they thought more. like dont say one thing to my face and then later text me something that indicates u were#thinking something entirely different in the moment. bc that's disorienting and it makes me think i can't trust my reading of ppl#i mean. it doesnt help that i dont look ppl in the face lol but whatever#i should sleep. i have jury duty tomorrow and i pray that i am not selected. tho it would force me to have a day off#bc im fucked up like that. no fun allowed. only work. and not enough sleep :-P#idk why im even thinking this?#i guess bc i was helping one of my lab mates with coding stuff and like idk ive spent way too long around him and i still dont#kno whats going on in his head. like idk hes not too bad but he also is very quick to jump on it when i do something wrong#like when i make a lil mistake i mean. and i think its in a teasing way but idk it feels weird. like he thinks hes caught me fucking up#and im like ...yea? i mean yea that was a dumb thing i did. or like yeah i cant spell or remember plant codes? idk maybe he just thinks#its funny. it doesnt upset me or anything. i just think its kinda weird and i dont get it so it puts me on edge#idk he says things sometimes and im like... ok ur star war5 options make me nervous abt the general opinions u hold but i dont kno how to#manipulate u into a revealing conversation. idk his not that bad just puts me on edge a lil and i have to b around him a lot so i sit here#man wtf is his deal? let me psychoanalyze u#unrelated
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pinkbubbles06 · 5 months
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Rosekiller Headcanons Pt. 2
Part 1
These may be out of order or be repeating from pt 1 but it’s only cuz I got excited…
Annnyyyyywayyyyy…. HERE WE GO!!
* Barty would be that type of person to have a thought process along the lines of “Evan deserves someone better than [insert name of whoever Evan is currently dating here]. If it were me dating him, I’d treat him much better.”
* And then he would proceed to not think on that any harder.
* Every time Barty gets an angry owl from his dad, he gets so overwhelmed by anger to the point being called by their name makes him want to scream. So all his friends start calling him "idiot" "pretty boy" "raccoon" "dumbass" respectivly until he calms down.
* lets not get it twisted, evan was 100% crazier than barty.
* Before they got together Barty would beg Pandora to make flower crowns so he could give them to Evan. If the flower crowns were from anyone else Evan would burn them on the spot. But anything from Barty he cherished forever.
* The second barty would come bounding up the hill towards him in spring, flower crown in hand, Evan would smile gently as Barty placed it on his head with such pride and joy.
* After they got together, Barty made Panda teach him how to make them so he could do it himself.
* Evan spends half his time saying "shut the fuck up" to Barty because weird stupid shit always falls out of his mouth
* (and he does shut up 'cause that man is whipped)
* Barty always forgoes pockets for the sake of fashion, and so Evan’s pockets are always full of random things of Barty’s that Barty can’t carry in his hands
* Barty is a mommas boy ™️
* Barty was shorter than Evan for the longest time but in 3rd year he had a growth spurt in the summer and was towering over Evan when they saw each other on the train.
* Barty would talk to his mother about everything and everything and he mostly spoke of Evan.
* Barty’s mom had a beautiful garden and Barty asked her if she could teach him to plant roses one summer.
* When Evan came over the next summer Barty was so proud to show him the roses he grew just for him.
* barty whose eyes are locked on Evan’s throat, he wants to leave his marks all over there, bite the soft and perfect looking skin, make it his home
* then he gets hit over the head by dorcas with a pan, and she tells him to be normal
* Barty always found it real hot when Evan gets pissed and bangs someone’s head into a wall until their blood is running down their face. He loved it when Evan was insane.
* (Evan is more crazy than Barty is. Period. You can’t convince me otherwise.)
* Regulus never understood why Evan and Barty were so deranged sometimes. He’s a good child.🥲
* evan's last thought before being hit by moody's bombarda was the way barty smiles between their kisses
* Barty would always absentmindedly play with Evan’s hair at all times
* Whenever they would go out in the winter, Evan you always tell Barty to bring a coat, even though he knows he will end up carrying it for Barty because coats make him feel trapped sometimes.
* He would just be like: "wear a jacket, it's cold out!”
* And Barty would be like: ”uggghhhhh fineeeee!!!”
* Barty always opened the door for Evan or pulled his seat out before he sat down
* Evan: did you eat today?🤨
Barty: yes….👀
Evan:
Barty:
Evan: eat something love.😘
Barty:
Barty: fine.😒
* Barty wants so bad to be Evan’s trophy wife lol
* After Barty proposed, he would daydream of the moment he first sees Evan at the altar. Like. He’s so in love guys.
* barty absolutely LOVES valentine’s day and uses it as an excuse to be as publicly sexual as possible, loudly flirtatious, and is wrapped around evan like a condom
* evan pretends to DESPISE valentine’s day, acting like he forgets about the occasion just to get on Barty’s nerves- dodging his attempts to flirt / touch, and makes a show to be as unromantic as possible. on the inside, he’s squealing and kicking his feet
* Even hated Barty at first they would argue sooooo much!!!
* But then Barty grew on him like he does with every one
* Evan loves making Barty cry during sex. Especially if he is overstimulated.
* Evan loooovvvveeeessss overstimulating Barty during sex. (Barty loves it too btw lol)
* Ives said it before and I will say it again because it need to be a thing. EVAN IS NOT NOT TIMID AND HESITANT!!!! HE IS A PHYCO!!!! HE IS WORSE THAN BARTY GUYS!!! LIKE COME ON!!!!! IK I SAID THAT THE FIST TIMEHE AND BARTY DANCED HE WAS INSECURE BUT THEY WERE REALLY YOUNG AROUND THAT TIME!!! LIKE 14!!! (At least in my head…) AFTER THAT INE TOME HE WAS SOOOOO CONFIDENT!!!
* (sorry for yelling lol)
* Any way….
* if you don’t think regulus had a little sign with the amount of times barty got pushed off the beds for being a little shit ur so wrong
* Barty‘s mother had a huge family estate in the countryside that Barty’s mother and he would go and live in during the summer. it’s also where her garden is. Barty would drag Evan along every time
* Barty’s dad lived in the city because of his job…
* They announced their relationship on April Fools and were both laughing their ass off watching Hogwarts try to figure out if they were actually dating or not.
* Evan is really shitty about being woken up. like if he falls asleep on the couch just leave him there, don’t wake him up to try and get him to go to bed because he will bite your head off. When Barty finds him on the couch in the common room he will settle down and cuddle up next to him and read a book. Or take a nap with him lol. Depends
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deeplightblue · 3 months
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Getting off the ship & leaving the restaurant. It’s been a fun ride y’all 😔
I keep thinking about this blind item Deuxmoi published in their June 16 newsletter. Later on when someone asked if it was about N and L they said they didn’t even realize, which I find weird. Now, I think we all know blind items can be sent by anyone on any topic and don’t have to reflect the truth at all. And I definitely don’t believe gossip that I see on DM without a credible source confirming.
So this is probably some troll’s doing and I’m not even going to talk about the N being married part lol. Nothing worth mentioning, actually. But still it resurfaced some thoughts I had.
I truly think N and L loves each other deeply, I don’t believe even the greatest actors could keep playing their characters for months and appear that convincing. Nor do I think they are disingenuous people who will simply fake a friendship for the sake of promo. I’m very confused about the nature of their relationship and whether it’s romantic or platonic, I think even they themselves might be confused on this part, but there is love regardless.
However I cannot help but think L is trying to distance himself from N, at least publicly. I cannot think of any other explanation for the pap pics just a couple of hours after the London premiere. I do not know if it was really him/his team who arranged those pics but if it was them, I think it’s only natural to take it as a “enough with the shipping, I have a gf” slap on fans’ faces. Like, couldn’t you wait for a week maybe?
I saw this being mentioned on some blog here but when you check his insta profile you could hardly tell he was the lead of Bton and co-star of Nic, and mind you it’s only been 3 weeks since part 2 was released. Of course he doesn’t have to share anything but it feels weird him posting his solo endeavors and not the project he put so much effort and time into.
Combined with those pap pics it seems like he is really trying to distance himself from N. But it’s not like there is bad blood between them or anything, we kept seeing them being comfortable and cute around each other until June 12, hours before the premiere. He even mentioned her name in a very silly & sweet manner on Jimmy Fallon. So, what’s the deal?
I think it must be very frustrating to have people read so much into every step you take, so I could understand him in a way. Nobody knows anything about their lives and relationship, we all just speculate and seeing those speculations must be annoying for them. But wouldn’t a simple insta post on how N is his good friend and “buddy” and another post with his gf appear a lot more genuine if shipping is the problem here?
I don’t know. This is my first time doing this with actors and I’ve been in this space for only a month or so, so these are all new to me. I truly believed they were each other’s soulmates and it was enchanting to witness whatever it was going on between them. And if they are just good friends that’s perfect too, I mean how many of us have that kind of connection or chemistry with our “friends”? Good for them!
But sensing his efforts of disassociating his public image from Bton and Nic just breaks my heart. That said, I am officially getting off the ship. I’m leaving the restaurant. My tiny heart cannot take it anymore. Also, it feels disrespectful to L to keep shipping them when it’s clear he doesn’t want that for some reason.
I will love and support both of them separately but I’ll TRY not to post any content about their possible romance. While I cannot promise that I’ll remain faithful to my decision I’ll try my best.
Cheers mfs.
😔
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iamnmbr3 · 1 month
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honestly why did jkr choose DUMBLEDORE as arbitrary gay 'rep'. Besides the not even there stuff he is an awful person.
(And you could pretty easily read him as that sort of Creep. Like I know that's not the sort of grooming people mean but that's always what I think :( )
I know. She really went 'diversity win! the serial liar and manipulator of children who is weirdly fixated on the attractiveness of an 11 year old is gay!'
Now I am absolutely NOT saying that a gay character cannot be flawed or even downright evil. Being gay doesn't make someone inherently bad - or inherently good. Gay people are humans - and just like any other group of humans are capable of the full range of human complexity. However, when the ONLY gay character is like this it feels like their negative personality traits are tied to their gayness. (Just like if Dumbledore was the only straight character it might feel like the author was was casting aspersions on the morality of straight people - even if that wasn't her intent).
Also it's so weird because there were so many other characters that are very frequently read as queer - including Tonks, Lupin, Draco, and Sirius. Not to mention HARRY POTTER himself. But nope. JKR was extremely resistant to anyone even suggesting these characters might not be straight (lol joke's on her - she might not have meant to write these characters as not straight but she did. be mad about it jkr). Only the character who had one queer romance which was extremely destructive and then swore himself to a life of celibacy where he spends all his time manipulated children is allowed to be gay apparently. smh.
And yeah. As for Dumbledore coming across kinda creepy, I definitely think it wasn't JKR's intention but it is a very valid reading based on what she wrote. I mean Dumbledore literally is out there saying 'oh yeah one of the only reasons adults liked this 11 year old child was because he was hot' without any awareness of how incredibly messed up a thing that is to say.
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Like if that's something he's comfortable admitting publicly what thoughts doesn't he admit to? This is just an incredibly bizarre thing to say and really says a lot about how he perceives the world.
Why does he assume that all adult teachers pay attention to how attractive the children they are responsible for are? Why does he assume that teachers' treatment of their UNDERAGE STUDENTS is affected by attractive they find each child? That is not how an adult should ever be relating to or thinking about a child.
And it's specifically attractiveness he highlights - not cuteness or charm or literally anything even slightly more appropriate to favor a child for (even though it would still be wrong to favor a student). No. It's the same way he talks about Tom later. He suggests that Tom used his looks in some sort of evil seductor routine to victimize Hepzibah Smith - even though what we actually see is HER creeping on Tom, so it comes across very much as a "he was asking for it" and "he was to blame because he was being a temptation simply by existing" type perspective which is absolutely repellent. And seemingly Dumbledore was thinking about Tom in that way right from the beginning.
In addition, I will say it's notable that in the Hepzibah Smith memory Dumbledore seems to sympathize with the person who is acting as a predator. (I mean she literally touches Tom without his consent and tries to hit on him multiple times while he tries to change the subject and seems super uncomfortable; she is the aggressor in that interaction).
It's also notable that Dumbledore seems to take Tom rejection of him at their first meeting very personally which is odd. Tom's reaction to Dumbledore is not that surprising but Albus seems to take great offense at the fact that Tom does not trust or look up to or like him and does not want to spend time with him or accept his friendship. It's a rather unusual way for an adult to react.
And more generally he doesn't treat children as children. He talks about child!Tom the same as he does adult!Tom and doesn't seem to view him as ever having been fundamentally different. He happily sends Harry and his friends into danger.
He also has a nasty habit of reading people's minds without their consent. I don't think it's a coincidence that nothing about the topic of Occlumency is taught at Hogwarts. It seems that he's been frequently reading the minds of the Golden Trio (and probably other students) for years - probably since book 1; and the mind is a very intimate and scared part of a person that shouldn't just be violated. Characters having a blank or closed look is often used as a descriptor to suggest that that character is employing Occlumency. We know Tom's mind powers were quite developed and I think he successfully blocked Dumbledore from his mind during their first encounter (after Dumbledore read his mind to find out about the things he stole) as right after that scene he is described in similar ways to scenes where characters use Occlumency. And this denial and rejection may been part of what particularly irritated Dumbledore.
His interactions with kids - and especially his fixation on Tom - are very weird. And you could definitely read it as him having some sort of repressed (or not repressed) attraction/fixation that he's probably in denial about (or does mental gymnastics to justify). 100 percent not JKR's intent. But yeah. The way she wrote him is kinda off.
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thelargefrye · 2 years
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RELATIONSHIP UPDATED … part one and a half
part one | part two
pairing : poly!ateez x idol!f!reader
genre : idol au, fluff, angst
warnings : brief mention of toxic fans
word count : 1.1k
note : need to read SHE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT if you want to understand anything in this lol.
tag list moved to the bottom for this one!
your managers give you and the boys some news they weren’t expecting and it forces you to make a choice.
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it’s only been two weeks since you and yunho broke up, but it’s still hard to wrap your head around it.
you and yunho who have been together since you were trainees. he knows everything about you and you know everything about him... well at least you thought you did, but his feelings he voiced that day tell you otherwise.
has he always hated how you relied on him and told him your feelings? how you confided in him when you didn't feel your best? were you really to blame for every serious fight that's happened in your all's relationship?
did the others feel this way as well? surely not, right?
"hey what's with the long face, baby?" san's voice does well to snap you out of your thoughts. his dimples are showing as he smiles at you as he enters your room and the bed dips a little from where he sits.
"sorry, i was just thinking about somethings," you say and san can easily tell that you don't want to talk about whatever has been going through your mind. however, san is pretty sure he knows what it is that is bothering you.
"our managers are here, they want to talk to all of us," he says after a few moments of silence.
weird, both managers? you think as you nod to him and get up. you lead the both of you out of your room and into the living room where some of the others are already waiting.
you're quick to sit down next between seonghwa and jongho while san finds his usual spot next to wooyoung who is resting his head on hongjoong's shoulder.
seonghwa is quick to pull you into his embrace, your head easily resting on his chest as yeosang, mingi, and yunho come to join the rest of you. yeosang and mingi quickly find their seats while yunho is left with the only space open being across from you.
your eyes meet and you are quick to look away. your eyes finding more interest in playing with jongho's hand that he placed on your thigh.
"so now that everyone is here, we'll go ahead and start this little impromptu meeting," ateez's manager begins.
"the higher ups at kq have been talking and they think it's best if y/n and one of you go public as a couple," your manager says.
the nine of you sit there in silence, taking in her words before hongjoong is the first one to speak up. "what? why are they suddenly wanting this?"
"they think it will help cut down on other dating rumors between you all if y/n is publicly dating one of you boys," his manager responds.
you feel like you want the ground to open up and swallow you. why you? why do they want you to go public with one of the boys? why should this even be talked about?
"which one of us did they want to go public with her?" seonghwa is asking this time, he gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze as a way to comfort you.
"well they threw out a few names at first, but then we managed to talk them into letting you all decide," eunji says, her eyes making contact with yours. you can tell she's sorry about this whole situation and having to be the bearer of the news, but you knew she was just doing her job.
"i think y/n should decide who she wants to go public with. it's only fair since she's not getting any other choice in this," san says and the others are quick to agree and now you feel everyone's eyes on you.
you're gonna have to make a decision now. your eyes filter over across the room one more time to yunho who is looking down at this hands. he's probably wondering why he's even here during this meeting. none of it concerns him, you aren't dating anymore.
you feel your heart break knowing that if you didn't break up, you would have 100% chosen yunho. you've been with him the longest and you knew you could have gotten through the toxic fans together. the two of you have conquered a lot of things in the past few years, but it isn't like that anymore.
you and yunho are done. over. you need to stop dwelling on the what-ifs and such. your eyes filter over to your other boyfriends. you know san would be a good choice or even hongjoong. they would both be supportive and not take anything any toxic fans would say.
seonghwa would also be a great choice. you know fans would probably want to see you and hwa dating, they talk about it anytime you two are seen hanging out or posting selfies together.
but then your eyes land on yeosang. kang yeosang. the one who has been your best friend basically since he joined the company. the one who use to listen to how much you were in love with yunho and san and seonghwa during your trainee days. he's the one who has encouraged you when you were scared of failing.
kang yeosang the one is your soulmate.
kang yeosang the one you want to publicly date.
"you don't have to—
"i know who i want to go public with," you say cutting eunji off. everyone seems to be waiting for you to speak and so you do, "yeosang."
yeosang perks up at the mention of his name and the two of you make eye contact. you can tell he's a little surprised, probably thinking that you would have chosen one of the others like san or seonghwa.
but you didn't choose them, you chose him. kang yeosang.
"if you want to that is, yeosang," you say wanting to him the opportunity to say no if he wanted to. you would understand if he did say no.
"no, let's go public together," he says probably a little too quickly, but hearing him say this makes your heart race and you're sure that seonghwa could likely feel it.
"alright then it's settled. we'll let the company know and within the next few hours, yeosang and y/n will be an official couple to the public. congrats," ateez's manager says before him and eunji bid you all goodbye and then leave.
yunho is first one to get up, not wanting to stick around longer than he needs to now that the meeting is over. you didn't notice how his eyes lingered on you after you said yeosang's name.
it was probably for the best anyway if you hadn't; however, san had noticed and knew he would have to talk with his boyfriend later. san knew yunho regrets letting you break up with him. the taller male had been in love with you for years, the love you both shared something san has always craved despite dating the both of you. it was pure love and love like that doesn't just disappear.
he'll talk with yunho later, but as of right now he needs to look over you and yeosang for the time being.
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tag list : @invuwrld @tannie13 @icyb3rry @cookiechristie @atinytinaa @jcngh0-hq @frankenstein852 @marvelahsobx @yoongiigolden @atinyreads @jxrdxnh @a-teez-4-exo @honeyhwaaa @mostly-reblog5 @giiouis @phebeedee @mimikittysblog @dawnandyoongi @itzsavage07 @bangteezbaby @josefines-things @mysticfire0435 @scuzmunkie @kangskims @im-whoim @cvpitvno @watamotee33 @kawennote09 @mixling-blog @hwal0v3r @marahleiwhen @harry-the-pottypus @rdiamond2727 @sanniesbum @voidcupidz @8tinytings @popcatx0
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sirenscriptures · 5 days
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hey! we need to talk.
well hello again!! i hope you’re all doing well. i feel like it’s been a minute since i’ve actually spoken to anyone on here.
as some of you may or may not have noticed, i’ve been pretty absent on this blog lately. at least, more than i usually am. i haven’t posted any writing in well over a month which is a little out of character for me. i’ve had quite a few writing blogs on here and i can’t really recall a time where it’s been that long without me posting at least a drabble.
in my time away from this app and from fic writing in general, i’ve realized a couple things changing about myself + my attitude towards this place in general.
honestly, i’ve come to the conclusion that i don’t really get the same satisfaction from writing on here as i used to. it could be due to the lack of feedback from the general public on here, or really just me admitting that i don’t want to write for pre-existing characters/storylines forever. let’s settle it as a mixture of both!
and don’t get me wrong, i still enjoy fanfiction writing. i adore the community here and the people i’ve had the privilege to meet even through the littlest moments. it’s made me not only a better creative, but also just better in general.
i’ve just been doing this kind of thing for so long (really since i was in 1st grade mapping out my first warrior cats fanmade storyline and oc), and i think between that, and all of these more mature/explicit writing blogs i’ve had in the past 4-5 years, maybe i’ve just grown tired of ALWAYS resorting to fanfiction.
i’ve always wanted to create something that is truly mine, and i feel like i’ve been sort of “limiting” myself this whole time in a weird way. a part of me knows it isn’t true, since this has been pretty expansive for my creativity. and it’s an art form that, in my opinion, doesn’t get anywhere near enough credit for all of the thought that goes into it. i mean, you have to be pretty damn creative to be able to write multiple descriptions of sexual penetration in the same oneshot that actually sound good, and don’t sound like they were ripped straight out of booktok. just saying! (that was a joke please don’t kill me)
anyways, this is getting to be way too long of a post for something so unimportant LMAO.
to get to the point, i’m not going to be active on this blog much longer. i’m probably going to post my final works in these next few months (possibly a few fics for my feeble attempt at a kinktober, and maybe a few for my bday month in december).
and just to clarify, this is in no way me saying that i’m leaving tumblr for good after those few months are up. this is also not me saying i’m quitting “fanmade” creative works forever. i still love writing a good fic and making fan art from time to time!
in the hopefully better part of this news, i have been planning out my art account for when i feel this blog has run its course and i’ve made everything i need to make. i probably won’t announce it publicly, but for those who want it when that time comes, i will definitely make sure you get the url. as usual, mooties get first pickings when that time comes <3
i don’t imagine this will disappoint many people since i’m not really “leaving” but who knows. i’m not expecting many people to even read this far or even notice if i’m here or not lol. i just didn’t want to deactivate out of the blue since that wouldn’t make sense for me to do.
even though i’ll still be on this blog for a few more months, i want to thank you all for giving me a space to grow and express myself. not just as a creative, but as a person too. this sounds really stupid and corny but i mean it. sure, i’ve never made record numbers on here, i’m not the most popular, but i can say without a doubt i have a wonderful group of people around me on here. even if we never meet in person, or if we never interact again outside of this blog, all of you on here will always be somewhere in my memory and i will always be so grateful for you since you made me feel like i was good enough to be seen. even if it was for my shitty smut fics. <3
i love and appreciate every single one of you. let’s have a great last few months on here, ok?
vlynn
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lunar-years · 1 year
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would love to hear your thoughts on the team bullying/forgiving jamie in s2, in particular what you disliked about it. imo i think sam’s treatment was harsh but not at all undeserved, while others like colin and isaac were a bit twisted considering they fully participated in the prick-ish behaviour in s1. and the whole led tasso bit was entertaining to watch, but it really reveals how problematic ted’s hands-off approach to conflict can be. to the point where ted refuses to refer jamie (and later on isaac) to speak with sharon, and never fully acknowledge’s each player’s feelings.
There was a really good meta I saw on this topic the other day that i cannot for the life of me find in my tags to link here. But yeah, there are definitely things I disliked about it! For me it's less about the players than about the leadership & Ted. I actually think the players reactions/responses mostly make sense. It's a bit weird, like you said, that EVERYONE suddenly hates him when half the team was literally participating in and/or endorsing him in season 1 (remember that episode where the team is split into two factions and one of them is Jamie's? lol. Like it wasn't even just Isaac and Colin participating in the behavior, it was half the team). However I can see that their opinion of Jamie might have changed given distance and their own growth.
Also, we don't really see any instances of Jamie publicly bashing his old team apart from singling out Ted and Roy, but apparently at one point he was off calling Colin a jaundiced warm to his hometown newspaper, so yeah I can see why that might've left a lingering bad taste in his mouth. Also the boys have gotten used to Richmond without him at that point, and it HAS been a much better environment, so I think it'd be easy to overlook that they were actually sort of starting to like him at the bonfire the night before he went back to Manchester (which was ultimately only just one night), in favor of focusing on all the times he was made the locker room worse. Also, there's probably a bit of misplacing their hatred for their past selves onto Jamie because it's easier to shift that blame around a bit than accept their own culpability in the bullying. Just like it's easier to blame relegation on Jamie, because he's there to blame, then on their own shortcomings in the game. Is it a bit unfair to Jamie? Sure. But it's realistic and I don't mind it.
Actually the only one I'm a bit ??? about is Dani, because he was absolutely getting along with Jamie in Two Aces even despite Jamie's prickish exterior. Dani hadn't even been around long enough to be negatively impacted by Jamie's effect on the locker room culture so? what gives? I also don't see him bandwagoning on just because everyone else hates him (which does make sense when jan does it hahah). So it's very weird to me that he holds as much of a grudge as everyone else, lol.
The biggest issue for me is (once again. woop.) Ted. Because he didn't want to get rid of Jamie in the first place. He was in fact IRATE when Jamie was sent away, and got into his first real argument with Rebecca over it, that's how upset he was. So why is he soo hesitant, suddenly, to let Jamie come back? His whole speech to Jamie at the Crown & Anchor makes me uncomfortable, because the whole "You burned a lot of bridges" thing doesn't even add up to the real reason Jamie was sent away and totally dismisses the progress he had already started to make before leaving. It seems to reiterate that Jamie was sent away because he'd been Bad and Done Something Wrong. Sent away after he'd in fact had a significant breakthrough with the team. No wonder Jamie is confused. Ted is crossing all kinds of wires and it's ??? Not to mention that he tells Sam Jamie isn't coming back, then brings Jamie back seemingly without even pulling Sam aside and explaining to him circumstances have changed, Jamie is coming back, and why. It's one thing to have told Sam and then change your mind. It's another thing for Sam to tell you he's upset at you for withholding information, explain that's not the case, then go and do the thing you JUST assured Sam you wouldn't: not consult the team re: Jamie. Idk, the whole thing rubs me the wrong way.
Ted having a conversation with the team beforehand, explaining why Jamie is coming back, would've already gone a long way to help Jamie, instead of just springing him on them and throwing him to the wolves. Led Tasso was typical hands-off Ted problem solving, and it's a funny comedy show bit but not exactly an appropriate workplace solution, is it? I might not mind it so much if it wasn't the start of a pattern of behavior where Jamie needs help, asks for help, and then is like...ignored or gone around or "acknowledged" and not helped. it happens with his return to the team, it happens with Roy refusing to coach him, it happens with fucking Zava. And it's extremely annoying that the team leadership fails him specifically again and again. ugh.
Re: Sharon/therapy and referring the boys, that one is soooo mixed up in ted's own mental health stuff I'm willing to give it a pass. of course Ted's not to going to refer players to see her when he doesn't see what she does as helpful and doesn't respect therapy as a possible tool/solution.
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I really hope this won’t come off as parasocial!! But given the reveal that Courtney was down bad for Shayne, I think partly the reason why I believe those who are saying/theorizing it’s a “she fell first” situation is because Courtney met Shayne when she was really young.
If you think about it Courtney was about 19 when they joined Smosh. When Shayne joined he was already in a committed relationship and probably only saw Courtney as a little sister. Of course Courtney got into a relationship and they were committed to their partner, but then it ended so maybe feelings resurfaced since they were single at the same time Shayne was. It also kind of shows in older videos because looking back, Courtney was pretty smitten around Shayne and admitted to being the person who can easily make her laugh.
What I’m saying could be disproved later on but this is my understanding from what was publicly put out. Courtney and Shayne have nothing to owe to the public but I do find it wholesome for them to finally share a few love bites without having to hide their relationship.
I really do think their situation was right person wrong time. Because like you said, she was 19 (very close to 20) years old and he was around 23/24 when they met and Shayne was in a relationship. Then I could be wrong but I think when he was out his relationship, or close to it being over, Courtney got into hers. Idk the exact time frame but presumably they were both single starting around 2018/2019 (maybe 2017 but I’m unsure)
But yes of course the last thing we wanna be is parasocial and since this is more of information that they both technically have stated, I just think we’re making connections from “evidence” given to us? Idk how to say that better lol. But in all seriousness, don’t worry I don’t think you’re being too invasive of anything considering these are things we heard from the horses mouth and not things we dug through the pits of the internet to find.
I’ve mentioned this in a comment on one of my posts, but I really feel like shipping may have also had a lot to do with the conflicting feelings. Imagine working with someone who you originally see as a friend and even when you’re in your own relationships, people still think the two of you are soulmates. When you both are finally single at the same time, you realize more and more that you’re starting to fall in love with this same person. Love is an INCREDIBLY weird thing to deal with already so just imagine being in love but you also don’t know if it’s because fans want you to be, or if you genuinely are.
This post is starting to get long but to conclude, I 100% agree with everything you said. If you guys have more theories or anything, my inbox is always open. I don’t really get many too often, but I love getting asks. The main reason why I started this blog honestly. So if you have more thoughts, I highly encourage you to share them here, even if they’re random lol :)
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emin-folly · 3 months
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Ok, can I ask for:
7. Auction
10. Bargin
11. Bard
14. Barry horse
18. Barry Jesse
24. Barry Superman 2
29. Battle of the fashion tastes
36. Cats
37. Cheetah
39. Clark reading Cinderella
40. Compromise
42. Cover flash
45. Crackship doodles
53. DC Barry and Kitty
55. DC Barry's obsession
56. DC Barry's weird fears
58. DC dad brawls
59. DC aeo styles
66. DC hole in the ground
73. DC nobody wants to save thawne
76. DC Slade's new pet
79. DC Speedsters and abugs
82. DC ableached
83. DC Furries
85. DC OC
90. Deer style
91. Flash AU doodles
97. Drunk Barry
100. Eohal
101. Eo medieval
108. Eo wants commitment
111. Eobard ivy doodles
115. Eobeth
116. Eo Carol
137. Gertrude
138. GL headaches
139. GL Human Infestation
144. Hamlet
150. Horse
155. Iris gets powers
160. Linda and Barry
161. Manga So
167. Mom j'onn
168. Monophobia
174. Ot3
182. Plaything
197. Ship comic
199. Sin
202. Speed dancing
204. Starflash
205. Swan thawne
206. Symbolism
210. Touchy feely
214. What eo eats
216. Women
219. xxx
& anything else you're excited to share ☺️
Yeah I really should've seen this coming LOL
O o f
Hoooooo kay, strap in babes, it's gonna be a JOURNEY
Also FYI, I won't be showing sketches for every single one of these, either because I didn't draw much for them or the sketch is just too ugly to be shown publicly lol Without further ado, let's get into it!
7. Auction
Okay, so this is one part of a SUPER self indulgent concept of mine, one I'm honestly kinda shy just talking about it but the idea is, in the DC universe, I think we can all agree there's slave markets out there. And I feel like speedsters would be considered very valuable, on account they're some of the few beings who are attached to this ancient and powerful force, Barry and Eobard being especially prized due to the fact of Barry being the generator of the Speed Force and Eobard being the only known host of the Negative Speed Force in the entire universe.
So the plot is basically Barry and Eobard get captured somehow (insert convoluted explanation here) and is delivered to a slave market to be sold and become someone's trophy pets/slaves. This picture is the part in the story where Barry and Eobard get put on display for prospective buyers~
10. Bargain
This is a weird one but kinda like in the same vein of the last one, if there's a market for speedster slaves/pets, there's also a open market for any illegal, special "delicacy" meat. I think there would definitely be a belief among some races that by eating the flesh of a speedster, it would allow you to harness the Speed Force along with a host of other benefits.
11. Bard
Nothing to much to say on this one, this is really just a sketchdump I use for miscellaneous Eo practice drawings lol
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This is one I particularly like~
14. Barry horse
I could've named this better but this is supposed to be Centaur Barry, because I love Barry and I love centaurs so naturally I had to make an AU for it. There's a whole series of pictures I would very much love to get to someday featuring Barry and the other Flashfam members as centaurs but I gotta learn how to draw horses first OTL
18. Barry Jesse
This is part of my unofficial Barry series where I draw him with a character I wish he had more screen time with, this time it's with one of his own family members, Jesse Quick! Barry and her never really had a relationship in the comics, the most we got to go off of was Jesse having a lot of respect for Barry but that's about it. In my AU, I thought it would be really fun if Barry and Jesse actually had a sort of brother-sister dynamic~
Barry is an only child and so I think it would be neat to see him have a sibling kind of dynamic with other peers of the Flashfam. Jesse would be older in my AU, more closer to how old she was in the Pre New 52 age because if she's too young, Barry would most likely just adopt her as another of his Flashlings lmao
24. Barry Superman 2
Once again with the lazy titles. I tend to reuse my old canvases so that kinda explains why I just add a number to them lol Anyway, this one is actually based on a Tumblr post I stumbled across ages ago about Clark and Barry losing their powers so they team up to investigate a case and stop bad guys using their respective skills as a forensic scientist and a investigative reporter (if y'all know who posted that, pls lemme know!!) And anyway, this was very much up my alley hah There's a handful of doodles I wanna do for this (because I can't ever just be satisfied with one drawing) where Barry and Clark navigate the hurdles of Being Human, being shot at by criminals, accidentally jumping out the window or smashing their face into doors because they keep forgetting they're depowered. It's a lot of fun to think about~
29. Battle of the fashion tastes
Silver Age Barry and Eobard duke it out, claiming they have the better fashion taste. Thad and Bart aren't impressed lol There's also a doodle about Barry showing up to Ralph's wedding in less than conventional wear. Ralph is speechless, to say the least xD
36. Cats
This is a crack doodle I did randomly one day. I'm honestly surprised DC hasn't made this joke yet cause it's really hilarious in hindsight
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Poor Cheetah is so weirded out rn
37. Cheetah Yeeeaahhh, this is just Barry and Eo as cheetah furries. I like furries, sue me lol
39. Clark reading Cinderella
This is a silly little comic that's actually based on a cute and charming Golden Age/Silver Age Superman comic where Lois leaves her super bratty niece with Clark and he tries reading her the story of Cinderella only for him to immediately fall asleep and dream of becoming Cinderella's Fairy Godfather and throwing hands with her evil stepmother. It's great, I really recommend it (sadly I don't know the exact issue number, if anyone does, please drop me a line!)
40. Compromise
Eo tries to compromise with Barry: if he leaves Barry's family alone, Barry will let Eo do whatever he wants to him. Barry agrees. The ending is...unexpected aha. Here's a sneak peek of Eo's smug rat face tho~
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42. Cover Flash
This is a redraw of that one really gay Flash cover because it haunts me in the corners of my mind What was the artist's mindset drawing it? Did Joshua Williamson come up with the idea? I feel like he had to. It's just so hilarious and gay, I can't- Anyway here's Barry's looking very disturbed about having his privacy invaded
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45. Crackship doodles
This is one the sketchdumps for one of my absolute favorite DC ships of all time: EoIvy. It started out as a "haha that's a cute ship" to "they are infesting my brain, the roots are so deep right now and there's no hope for a cure" askdhsgkdb I have like, a million doodles ideas for them, I just need to organize myself, and also find an Ivy design I wanna use (no hate to the Injustice design, it's... alright. Tho I prefer her having green skin over human tones)
These are about Ivy showing Eo off like the bottom bitch he is to other people, mostly Gotham Rogues, to which no one approves of lol
They're not any where close to being done but have a mini Eo I drew in the corner~
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53. DC Barry and Itty
This is a little comic I started from before I read a lot of comics. I heard that Hal had a partner/pet Itty and at the time I didn't know how Barry really acted or if he knew about Itty, so I had him being very unnerved by him. Itty is just happy to have another buddy xD
55. DC Barry's Obsession
Oh this is a cute one. Okay so, I don't know if you played or watched the game Lego Batman: Beyond Gotham (which by all rights should've been a Green Lantern game but that's another topic for another day) Anyway, long story short, the Justice League gets hit by all the different Lantern emotions, Barry in particular being hit by the Orange Lantern Greed beam. So now you have a speedster that's taking anything that isn't nailed down, from batarangs to buildings, much at the dismay of the other heroes. Thankfully, he's still pretty reasonable even in this greedy phase, just telling him "No" is enough to make him put the stuff back.
I wanted to play with this concept cause I thought it was funny and cute to see Barry in this different kind of light. I haven't come up with something solid yet but I want to get to it sometime~
56. DC Barry's Weird Fears
Okay so, this one is a crack/silly idea I wanted to do where Barry gets affected by Scarecrow's fear toxin or maybe the Yellow Lantern fear or whatever but anyway, Barry is forced to face one of his nightmares...which, as it turns out to Eobard's surprise, isn't about his family or loved ones, but something else entirely--food. Yeah xD
I won't tell you the punchline cause I still wanna draw it someday so I'll just leave you with what's probably the best Eo drawing I ever did lol
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58. DC Dad Brawls
Idk if you're familiar with the Green Lantern CGI animated series but this pic is supposed to be Hal and Sinestro fighting over who has the best daughter (in the show Hal more or less adopted Aya lol)
59. DC Eo Styles
Actually what it says on the tin, for once ahah. This is me practicing drawing Eo in the DCAU style and also experimenting with a cartoony style of my own.
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I like this result a lot but I feel like it's not as stylized as I was going for. Plus it also feels a little too close to other people's existing cartoony art styles. Tho I do love how Eo looks like some rich bad guy from a cartoon who eats shit at the end of the movie lmao
66. DC Hole In The Ground
Oh boy, this is a throwback LOL I drew this back when I was a baby Flash fan and I didn't know the characters very well at all, I didn't even really like Eobard at this point
Some context: this tales place in an AU where, idk maybe Barry somehow took all his rage, hate and pain away, but Eobard is now a mentally adjusted, normal man. The Flashfam tho, hasn't taken too well to him regardless. This is a short crack comic where the kids, Wallace, Wally/Bart and Avery?? Jesse?? Take Eo to a six feet deep hole in the ground cause they needed his help. Course it's all a ruse so when Eo gets close to the hole, they push him in and try to bury him.
Don't worry, Barry got Eo out, tho not without a disapproving expression as he asks the kids if they're proud of themselves. They are xD
73. DC Nobody Wants to Save Thawne
This is also part of the "Thawne is Redeemed" AU funnily enough. The concept is a twist on the classic "villain takes someone hostage" scenario where some bad guy speedster takes Thawne as a hostage, threatening to kill him, to which everyone cheers. Bewildered, the villain then goes "OR...I'll let him go, to which everyone screams "NO"
Yeah, even good Eo still isn't liked by anyone xD
76. DC Slade's New Pet
This is also based on comic canon. In the Flash New 52 comics, Evil Future Barry makes a throwaway remark that he was trained by Batman, Slade and Lady Shiva and I have since then been utterly captivated by this idea, and I waNNA FISTFIGHT DC, LIKE HOW ARE YOU GONNA MENTION HE WAS TRAINED BY THE WORLD'S BEST FIGHTERS AND THEN NOT EVEN SHOW A FLASHBACK DO YOU HATE ME DC??! AUGH
ANyway, my pic takes place during Barry's training with Slade and what that might look like, complete with a speedster whistle. Barry's pretty much Slade's pet speedster and he's not amused about it 😂
79. DC Speedsters and Bugs
A funny little comic where Wally tries to smack flies in the JL watchtower. It...does not end well lol
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Rip, Batman
EDIT: Whoops! I just realized I called this Wally when Bruce says "Barry" here, MY BAD
I originally meant this to be Barry but then it was pointed out to me that it would be more in character for Wally to swat the bugs so I changed it aha
82. DC Bleached
This is just me crossing DC with my favorite anime/manga Bleach, specifically reimagining what my favorite character, Kenpachi, would be in the DC universe. I think he would definitely be in the Yellow Lantern Corps and picks fights with Sinestro and pretty much everyone around him and getting lost. It's basically just this:
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83. DC Furries
More DC furries but also with Clark this time. I tried making him into a lion cause I feel like that fits him the most (that or a bear) It...didn't come out good lol
85. DC OC
Ayyy I get to infodump about my girl, WHOO
OK so, something to know about me is that I don't really tend to do the whole OC thing. Not that I don't love it cause I do! I love the idea of making up characters for media I'm in and seeing other people's fan characters is so fun and inspiring. The problem is, I'm just really bad at creating characters OTL
But for DC, my need for a alien speedster finally won out and I decided to just make them myself. She's still very much in the early brainstorming stages, sadly I also don't really have any art of her so far but I do have some ideas for her:
• I haven't figured out the details about her species but she's basically based on an octopus, tho I would like to take some more liberties with it. She definitely has tentacles because I especially wanted her to have those and bc she's octopi based, she also has a beak for snatching and eating prey. As for her gender, I imagine it's different for her species compared to ours, but in human terms the closest thing to what she is would be a woman. As for age, she'd be the equivalent of 40-50 years old.
• Her story so far is she has lived a relatively happy and peaceful life, successfully raising her young with her mate for many years. Eventually though, her offspring has grown up and left, her mate has either died or is off world somewhere (still workshopping this) For most of the time, she ends up alone. She struggles with Empty Nest Syndrome and tries to fill her lonely days the best she can. Until suddenly, one day, she's struck by a lightning bolt that comes down out of the sky. I think you can guess what happens next lol
• She gets superspeed and is rightfully terrified and disoriented as all hell. She has no idea what's happening and probably thinks she's either dying or cursed. It takes a long time for their Green Lantern to help her but eventually they do. Word gets back to Hal who knows just the guy to call. Cue Barry Allen.
• He meets up with and finally gives her some peace of mind and helps her accept her newfound powers. She's still very unsure but she takes to Barry a lot and forms a great relationship with him.
• Anyway, from here on it would be her going on to find her purpose in her new family of small bipedal aliens, aka the Flashfam and finally feel whole again.
• Maybe I'll have her teach other aliens about the Speed Force or smth idk, I'm still figuring things out • As for her powers, I really kinda wanted her to utilize the Speed Force differently than the other Flashes. I'm not sure what it would be but I'm sure I can come up with something
Keep in mind, some things may change but yeah, I like her a lot and I hope I can show her to you guys properly someday~
90. Deer Style
This is also based on the Silver Age, more specifically a panel of Barry carrying Eobard in a very odd way. It kinda looked like he was carrying him deer style so I'm using that as my excuse heheh
Honestly, I'm very tempted to draw a compilation of all the bizarre and often unsafe ways speedsters carry people in the old comics cause writers really got kinda wild LOL
91. Flash AU doodles
Okay so this is based on @longitudinalwaveme's AU of an someone else's AU where Kryptonians has invaded Earth and enslaved humanity, but instead of it being centered around Gotham, it's about everyone in Central/Keystone City. This one: https://longitudinalwaveme.tumblr.com/post/655662017135427584/another-weird-flashrogues-au
AUs like this really make the wheels in my head turn and I also just love a good ol' enslaving AU lmao Anyway, this was actually fanart for it, these being some What If doodles of Barry and Henry where Barry discovers he has powers as well as Eobard cause it made me really curious where he would fit in this AU, like what if he ran back in time to save Barry/stop the Kryptonians. Maybe the 25th century is still Kryptonian dominated but they have long since become more benevolent and restored a lot of humans' rights to live freely again. Maybe Kryptonian and humans live among each other. Idk, it's so intriguing to think about~
But yeah, go check the OP's blog and the original post cause it's super interesting and show them some love in general <3
97. Drunk Barry
This is an idea I had for Pre-powers Barry getting bomb ass drunk at like, a party or something. My personal headcanon is that he would definitely be a cross between the super sappy drunk and the weird drunk who info dumps about disturbing true facts lol
This is a another comic I def wanna get to eventually, it's very fluffy and tooth achingly sweet so I'm excited haha
100. EoHal
I'm gonna skip this one because I'm answering it in another ask~
101. Eo Medieval
This is one idea I had for how Eo could possibly be reinvented for Dark Knight Of Steel, that fantasy/Medieval Elseworld comic DC has going around.
While I'm very grateful the comic at least briefly mentions them and DOESN'T kill them off horribly (the standard for us Flash fans are so low OTL) I was very disappointed in how little we get of speedsters in this universe. Like, you could do SO MUCH with them, their lore allows a lot of room for some fun and cool reinterpretation but alas, I guess I'll have to do it myself
For this one, I wanted to play off the concept of Eobard being a teacher. I thought maybe he could be a Professor who's shrouded in mystery, a cryptic who holds the knowledge of future events that will unfold. He is almost always seen with his students, a group of misfit children he may or may not have saved from less desirable situations. His goals are unknown but he seems to delight in turning kingdoms against each other.
That's pretty much all I have for him. I also don't really know how Barry fits in this AU but I guess we'll see~
108. Eo Wants Commitment
A What If concept where Eo and Barry were partners before everything went south. Eo's proposing that since they worked together for awhile now, he and Barry should finally "tie the knot", ie becoming exclusive superhero partners to each other. Like a marriage but totally platonic, lol
111. Eobard Ivy doodles
More of my rare pair cause I'm very unwell about them At All Times. This time it features Eo's sexy tramp stamp on his ass, courtesy of Ivy, she gotta mark her property, after all~
115. EoBeth
OK so I'm pretty sure I'm one of like, two people on this whole site that cares about Beth Arden and wanna see her make a comeback in Flash lore.
Some context: Beth Arden is a one off character from Flash: United They Fall. She's a lieutenant of the Speed Force Resistance who wears the Shift armor, a specially designed suit to allow humans to be able to go up against a speedster (though she is still very much outclassed by Barry). She was a brief antagonist before turning around and helping Barry.
Her story goes that she was a pupil of Eobard's and loved him a lot (whether it's romantic or not is not clear but it seems to be the former) She helped him design the machine that would give Eobard his powers. Unfortunately when he used it on himself, he touched the Speed Force and was this driven insane and shortly afterwards he killed millions people instantaneously. He then became a tyrant who rules Central City through fear and drugging his citizens by making them crave Speed Force fixes, so they'll worship him.
Beth naturally decides the best way to deal with this is to travel back in time and kill Eo's idol, Flash (which...one, I love how home girl just immediately decided to kill her crush's hero, that's wild. Two, it's a little confusing why she chose to go back to 21st century and kill Barry instead of like.... preventing the creation of the machine that made Eobard go insane but, well maybe she figured that he would've found a way regardless idk) That doesn't work so she teams up him to take down Eobard. The whole comic is kinda an AU already honestly.
Anyways, I really liked Beth a lot and I think she has a lot of potential to be really interesting and compelling addition to the Flash mythos. She doesn't have to be Eo's love interest or anything, honestly I would love to see her maybe as a rival? Or still a pupil of his?? Idk, there's a lot of great ways to reincorporate her (tho I don't really trust modern writers to do her justice unfortunately)
116. Eo Carol
This is a pic inspired from a supervillain team up in the old comics where Eo interacted with Star Sapphire. Now, sadly the Star Sapphire in the story isn't Carol Ferris but instead a French woman who temporarily took up her mantle. Despite this, I became super fixated on the idea of Eo and Carol being partners cause like, it's just too perfect
Barry and Hal are a great friends, so why not also have some of their baddies also be buddy with each other? Make it come full circle aha
137. Gertrude
Okay, this is a random doodle of a really obscure character from Alan Scott's 1940 run. In it, Alan's friend Doiby had a sentient taxi car named Gertrude...Yeah. This isn't explained nor does Alan or Doiby act like this is bizarre or unusual in any way. I personally would enjoy seeing her make a comeback, but that's just me xD
138. GL Headaches
A compilation of sketches, one is based on that famous panel of Hal struggling to think and the other one is a random Green Lantern seeing Clark's spaceship speeding by and asking if they're supposed to do anything about that xD
139. GL Human Infestation
This is a comic I did where a young GL recruit asks Kilowog to ragale him about the time in GL history when the GL humans first came along.
This comic is supposed to take a funny jab at how freaking many human lanterns there are, ESPECIALLY for the one sector/planet. I mean, I definitely get it, Green Lanterns are popular and people want to see all the cool variations of human GLs but man, at this rate they're gonna need to make a sub Lantern group called the Human Green Lantern Corps fr lol
144. Hamlet
That one Silver Age comic where Barry does the entire Shakespeare play by himself, playing the roles of both the men and women rotates in my mind 24/7. Crossdresser Barry is real and canon, DC can't take it back <3
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I definitely have a handful of doodles I wanna do with this, Barry in a dress is too good a concept to just narrow it down to one drawing. Iris is definitely gonna be involved 😏
150. Horse
This is part of the Centaur AU, this time it's Eo. I can't decide if I want him to be a centaur or a human in this AU cause I really love both ways, guess I'll just do both askdgskj
155. Iris Gets Powers
Okay, so this is an idea I had that's inspired from the Flash New 52 comic where Iris temporarily became a speedster. Basically, it's that but "What if Iris got powers but when she's already married to Barry and they have the whole Flashfam?" I thought that'd be SO interesting to see and I really wanna explore that
It'd be about her finally getting to see the world from Barry's and the others' perspective. To finally get to feel the humming buzz as the Speed Force courses through her veins and reach out and blur and blend into everyone else, to feel as one with the other speedsters, to finally be able to run with her family awahhh
Fair warning though, it does have a kinda bittersweet ending so be prepared~
160. Linda and Barry
I really wanted to draw these two together cause honestly, it is SO mind boggling that these two haven't???? Had a heart-to-heart conversation yet??? ESPECIALLY after Flashpoint. I personally felt robbed and so I've taken it upon myself to give them their moment in the spotlight they deserve. Barry is full of regrets and Linda, after some time to soul search and to think it through, forgives Barry and they hug <3
161. Manga Eo
Ok so, fun fact, did y'all know there's an official DC manga?? And that Eobard actually appears in it (not Barry for some strange reason) and fights Hal? Yeah, that's a thing that exists
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I really liked his look here, even if it is very subtle, like the thick black outlines around his mask and so I wanted to try drawing him myself~
167. Mom J'onn
Remember that Batman Lego game I mentioned earlier? Yeah, this is based on that too lol
So in the game, everyone splits up to go to the Lantern planets bases, J'onn, Cyborg and Barry visiting the planet of Nok where the Indigo Lanterns are.
Barry is still in his super greedy phase and Cyborg has unfortunately been zapped by the yellow Lantern energy so now he's absolutely terrified of every little thing. J'onn was one of the few who wasn't hit by the Lantern beams so he's pretty much the only sane and capable one here. Mom J'onn refers to him basically having to keep Cyborg from freaking out and Barry from stealing everything under the sun while also simultaneously fight off the mind controlled Indigo Lanterns and restore their power battery. Send some prayers for J'onn cause he is Stressed lmao
168. Monophobia
Ahh yeah, ok this is based on Post New 52 Flash Rebirth where Barry definitely experiences this, especially the part at his birthday party where he is consumed with the fear of Eobard killing everyone he loves. This comic is Eobard exploiting that, isolating Barry and giving him a taste of his pain. It's basically Barry whump which I love and will definitely deliver more on in the future <3
174. OT3
Oops, I think I listed the wrong file. OT3 is one I'm already done with, I think I meant to write OT3 1. My bad! Anyway, OT3 1 is some more EoHarlIvy because a handful of people seemed to really enjoyed my art of them 😊 In this pic, Harley's dive-bombing Eo and Ivy, because she naturally can't let them have their moment alone together lol
182. Plaything
This was actually inspired by @ftl-faster-than-lifewonderful's fabulous art of putting Eo in a collar and that sparked the idea of like, Barry and Iris finally deciding they had Enough and just slapped a collar on this idiot in the hopes he'll finally calm down. It kinda ends up backfiring on them tho cause now he's absolutely insufferable about being their plaything lmao
197. Ship comic
This was part of an art trade thing also for @ftl-faster-than-life where they requested I draw Eobard x Amanda Waller (yes, *that* Amanda Waller) In a rare twist of events, she's the one who has his ass tied up and is definitely planning on doing some nefarious things to him hehe
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There's actually a two page comic to go with this but I think I'll make that it's own post
199. Sin
I'm afraid I don't have much to say on this one but these are more drawings of Barry and Eobard during their time in the slaver's market~
202. Speed Dancing
Okay yeah, this one doesn't really have a reason behind it except I just wanted to draw Barry and Eobard in fancy suits and dancing with each other lol
204. Starflash
Remember that one old comic I mentioned earlier with Eobard and Star Sapphire? This was supposed to be a kind of panel redraw of their first interaction, where Eobard lays on the charm extra thick and bows to kiss her hand and introduces himself as Professor Zoom and stuff. IDK why, I just thought it'd be fun aha
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Old art is old
205. Swan Thawne
I got this random idea from being on Chinese fanart sites and seeing Eobard's last name often being mistranslated as 'Swann'. Swans in real life are pretty, graceful and can be absolutely vicious, just like Eo so why not draw him as one? lol
206. Symbolism
This was a piece that was supposed to represent Barry and Eo's relationship. I don't fully know what the context would be but it'd something like if Barry or Eo went into the other's mind. Chains are involved 👌
210. Touchy Feely
This is just Eo being touched starved as hell aha For as strong and anti people Eobard is, I feel like if someone caressed him lovingly, he'd immediately shatter. It's a great concept I like playing with~
214. What Eo eats
A lil comic thing about what Eobard runs on since he never seems to eat
It's spite lmao
216. Women
Once again creatively titled. This one is yet another genderbend pic of mine that takes some inspiration from the old comics where Eo flirts with a apprehensive Dinah, much to Ollie's shock and disgust lol
219. xxx
Yet another pic for my self indulgent slavery AU, this time it's Barry and Eobard dressed up in cute skimpy slave outfits and collars <3
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AND THAT'S THE LAST ONE /ded
MAMMA MIA ,what a undertaking that was akshdjakj
Thank you EXTREMELY much for your interest~!! <33 This was a beast and a half to tackle but I absolutely loved talking about my WIPs and I sincerely hope you enjoyed hearing them as well!! :)
As for ones I'm excited to talk about, there are definitely some I can think of but this post is already way, WAY too insanely long so I'mma cut it here~
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dwindlinghaze · 1 year
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omg would love if you could write something platonic with remus where him and r have a really flirty/affectionate relationship and ppl who dont know them think they’re dating but they’re both gay and it’s just mlm and wlw solidarity 😭💓
hiii omg i love this idea so much (considering the fact that i am somewhat gay lol😭) i hope u like this 🤍☁️🫧
something anyone can see
(remus lupin x platonic!reader)
contents: blurb, platonic relationship, implied mlm/wlw
  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
it was funny to see people outside your friend group thinking you and remus were dating. it's not their fault tough, you never really spoke about your sexuality publicly. you feared the nonacceptance of people so you kept it only to yourself and the friends you trusted.
remus being one of them.
you came out to remus a few months ago; he was the first person to know. you trust him with all of you. he's your best of best friends.
he was completely supportive of you, and he ended up coming out to you also. you both laughed at the end. it was a comforting feeling to know that your best friend you couldn't imagine living without will always be there.
it was relieving almost- to know that your relationship with remus will always be the same platonic thing. nothing will ever change between the two of you. nothing silly will bring you guys apart.
the reason why he can be so affectionate towards you is because he knows you will not find it weird at all and things wouldn't go awkward between the two of you.
you both love each other a lot, just platonically.
"rem, do you wanna go? it's dinner time," you said lowly. you two have been studying in the library since four.
this is also one of the many reasons why people thought you and remus is something. he seems to always be wherever you are. spending time late at night until your eyes gave out. he gives you chocolate and flowers just because because you love them.
mostly, he's just there to be a good friend and make you the happiest. not to mention, both of you are very respectful of each other too.
"let's go," he agreed, taking yours and his books.
as you two walked down to the great hall, some students were giggling at the two which made you grew wary of your surroundings.
"let's guy their idea of us," remus said, hovering his lips over the corner of your eye to tease the students around. it looked like he was kissing your eyes, which in fact, is not the case.
"rem!'," you chuckled.
"what is that?"
"nothing!" you giggled, punching his side jokingly.
when dinner finally started, you heard little murmurs about a certain couple. it was obvious that that is circling around you and remus.
you felt remus kicking your feet under the table, sending you a sheepish grin. from the outside's point of view, it seems like you two were having a nonverbal lovey dovey communication.
students don't usually care about hogwarts couples and whatever, but remus' love life was somehow intriguing for them. maybe because it was so unlike remus to get close to a girl. he is mysterious and it was interesting to see the two of you getting together.
to make the people around grow even more giddy; you blew remus a kiss, winking at him with the most flirtatious eyes you can manage. it turned out to be more comical than flirty.
he puts his hand over his mouth, muffling his laughter at the shocked faces people are making as he looked around.
james let out a snicker, looking at his friend with a funny look. only you and the marauders knows about remus' sexuality, so seeing people getting so worked up about a love story they narrated on their own was amusing.
"imagine if they know how gay i am."
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scandalouslamb · 21 days
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Any hcs/potential scenarios where Felix and Livia marry? (Only thing I know for sure is that it's going to be a fail!marriage lol)
hmmm, the failmarriage (lite) (as in not with Coriolanus), let us see what thoughts can I shake loose!
I actually have a hard time imagining how these two get to the point of marrying each other as in my hcs, their families aren't going to push for it... I could see them both gaslighting themselves into thinking that they should marry though!
(Warning: I imagine that they become a dysfunctional household!)
They Get Married
Going off that, imagine everyone within an acceptable age range to marry has married except these two. They're both from influential families. Felix reluctantly brings these facts to Livia's attention. She rejects his marriage-business proposal.
Livia, after thinking about it and realizing that Felix is right, everyone else is married, decides that fine, she'll marry him and tells him publicly by yelling at him across a social gathering/party.
The media have a field day saying that they're secret lovers or secret lovers reconciling with a declaration of love. (some people hit the nail on the head and write that the two are getting married as the last single people of their generation <- oof... even the marriage of convenience people didn't want them... let's be nice and maybe they aren't looking "beneath their station" for a potential partner... "let's be nice" -> they get married because of classism 😔)
The wedding is a fucking nightmare from the planning side. Livia is... a terror of a bride. She may not like her groom, but as consolation, she is getting everything just the way she wants it, exactly the way she wants it.
Felix doesn't really have cold feet, but he does break down crying at one point, wondering why he's doing this. He tries to play it off as tears of joy. A lot of people can tell that isn't the case.
They argue in whispers that everyone can hear during the document signing ceremony (Capitol marriages in my mind focus on the signing)
It only goes down hill from there.
Also they're probably pretending to be in love to their families. (the weird cognitive dissonance that Felix has of doing this for his family in his mind but also knowing he has to pretend to love Livia to get them to go through with it... uh that's just my trademark Ravinstills are bad at communicating -isms)
They start a food fight during the cake cutting when they both smush cake into the other's face. (Felix purposefully gets some on Livia's white dress).
Any and all speeches from friends are just thinly veiled questions asking why the two are doing this.
The Marriage
After their marriage, there's a honeymoon period of a few years, and for them, that means they hate each other so bad. They're constantly insulting each other/finding ways to one up each other! It's a terrible time, but you know what's there? Passion!
They are trading insults! They are screaming at each other! A nightmare for their neighbors! A dream come true for the tabloids!
Honestly, they both probably get into actual physical fights... which isn't a great look for both of them
After a few years of that, their marriage loses any and all interest to each other. Livia's obviously the stronger personality in my mind. She's trying to keep that hate alive! She's trying to make this marriage work (keep this marriage interesting)!
Unfortunately, I think Felix takes a page out of his great-uncle's book and just starts mentally checking out.
Livia and Felix are both romantics in my head. They both didn't want a marriage of convenience (they both could have had love matches in my headcanons lol), but Felix is used to being sad and feeling unwanted in a big house so he's just carrying on. Livia is better at staying mad at the situation, but with nothing to play off of, her heart can't fully be in it... She can only insult him halfheartedly
Very important to note, that their families either think this is a normal marriage (Max/President Ravinstill, given his whole Dr. Gaul situation), are concerned but everyone else is just saying it's normal? (Ravinstill cousins), and "that's just Livia's strong personality! :)" (the Cardews) <- they don't want to dim her sparkle
The Kid(s)
Since Livia can't take joy out of tormenting Felix anymore, obviously, they have kids or a kid. I imagine they take what they get from the first (and only) pregnancy. (You know how couples try to fix their relationship with a kid. This is that, but with a hateful relationship.)
I'll say kid for the rest of the post but you can imagine them with Ravinstill-Cardew twins, triplets, quadruplets? whatever you want
They're the Ravinstill-Cardews because with a Ravinstill president, I imagine Livia's parents convince her that any kids should have a hyphenated name with Ravinstill taking precedence, but Felix and Livia keep their respective surnames without hyphenation.
I think Ravinstill-Cardew baby does ignite that passion for a bit as they argue about raising their child, but it's short-lived
As the child grows up, Livia probably tries to jab at Felix with it. Any perceived negative traits are because Felix is the father. Felix probably starts getting mad at this once the child is old enough to remember, but it's actually 50/50 if the insult reaches him. Half the time, he's just like "yes, dear..."
(even if he hates her (formerly hates her and has now given up), Livia is unknowingly benefiting from Ravinstill Enabler-ism. Many such cases of Ravinstills just being enablers in my mind)
I think, because of this, the kid actively strives for Livia's approval and affection which she is better at giving openly and also because it is clearly something to be won (Felix is more distant... very President Ravinstill/Max-esque)
On the other hand, I do think if the kid has a problem/is in trouble, they'll go to Felix. I just think he'd be better at problem-solving things for them.
Felix is looking at his own child like "ah, of course they only want me for my name/what I can do for them." Resentment would manifest in being distant, but he's already doing that so...
I do think that if push came to shove, these two would move mountains for their kid, but their parenting is far from ideal
tl;dr is that the Ravinstill-Cardew child does not have the best upbringing. Maybe they prefer going over to one of their parents' friends places, or Livia's brother (who exists in my hc). Maybe someone can suggest divorce. Please.
...
Thanks for the ask, anon! This got kind of long!
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orions-quill · 4 months
Text
Last Line Tag
I was tagged by @grimmdivinity and @honeybewrites , thank you for the tag! This is something I wrote earlier today on my way home from Japanese class. It’s actually from Project Spectator, a project I have not talked about publicly (no Honey, it’s not the secret project lol). This project is inspired by a couple of songs in the newest Friday Pilots Club album, namely Spectator and Ultraviolet (Obsession), so I recommend you give them a listen!
Nine pressed forward, but Myr couldn’t move back for fear of falling, so they were far closer than he’d be comfortable to admit. He could feel the tips of Nine’s boots pressing against his own. Fear was an emotion Myr was familiar with, but never before had he been afraid of his own master. Nine was the worst asshole under the Sun, but for the first time Myr actually felt like he was dangerous. He didn’t like it.
Subconsciously, he tried to reach out to Nine’s thoughts, to figure out what was going on inside his mind. As always, though, he found nothing but a barrier. Nine could access him anytime he wanted, but Myr could only hope for breadcrumbs of understanding. He was getting none of that today.
“Nine-“ he tried appealing, but was cut off by the hand that wrapped around the lapels of his uniform.
“You know, Myr, I chose you because you had potential.” Nine’s smile was colder and crueler than space itself, and it sent shivers down his spine. “Even though you’re imprudent, I asked them to forgive your crimes ‘cause I know what you’re capable of.”
“I don’t-“
“But you seem keen on being a nuisance. So, Myr,” Nine’s hand flattened over his uniform and brushed off some invisible dirt, “if you won’t work for me, live for me…”
The sensation of the mind link opening distracted Nine from the veiled threat. He really should’ve known better.
Then die for me.
Nine pushed him before Myr could even process that his lips hadn’t moved. He didn’t grab onto Nine or attempted to save himself. He simply fell and let the water swallow him whole.
The format is probably gonna look weird cause I’m on mobile lol I have so many tags to catch up on so every tag I answer until I’ve caught up will be an open tag, sorry ;A;
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somepsychopomp · 1 year
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I’ve read your Winter’s Night fanfic on AO3 before it became private for members only
(you you are literally the person that has made me but the effort to finally send my email for an invite just to continue your work)
Reading your work and my long experience as a reader of many fics I felt that my feral likings could match up yours some way.
Sadly due to issues I’m unable to fully write my own fics but as you can see I can lay some good ground works and idea paths. So I tend to, if I accidentally find a fav author on here, and they ask ideas slip a lil something and scuttle back into my corner.
Idk tarot cards but I think when it comes to how the show uses it OGMarcy and STAR!Marcy are perfect example of right side up and upside down. So if those cards are right then I agree.
And for some reason I just believe in my heart of heart, that Simon’s blood after the many many years of Ice King May have a special tasting blood, maybe a satisfying chill after feel with a sweet or minty kick to it. So when they do manage to run away and VK managed to survive (if they tried killing running away and he could still drain blood from Simon) he’d want the special blood back and his daughter but also the blood.
Cause Bonnie DID say the vampires have hunted their food to near extinction so changing Simon probably won’t be in his best interest if he thinks rationally. But judging by the situation it can be said VK seems to be ignorantly impulsive to literally have his peoples food source dwindle like that and it obviously rubbed off on Marcy based on how she described her killing of Martin.
lmao my fic was never supposed to be publicly accessible because (for weird and convoluted reasons) making it locked helps prevent AI scraping, but im glad u got an Ao3 account its actually so worth it
Marcy being the Star is interesting to me as someone who is kinda familiar with the tarot cards. Upright it (loosely) represents hope, healing, and purpose. Inverted it means (again, loosely-there's lots of different interpretations) loss and arrogance... which is pretty in line with Star!Marcy lmao
((Fun fact- I first wanted to name Vamp!Simon The Hanged Man bc it represents wisdom/sacrifice, but thought it was just a little too much of a mouthful and a little too on the nose. The Hermit is also a great fit for him thematically but it feels mean to call him that lol. So I think I'm going to stick with calling him Temperance bc it represents patience, but more importantly the inversion of it means conflicting interests. It's also a fun bonus for literally just me to have Simon be the only vamp named for a virtue and not a tarot figure, to imply he's different from the rest))
I don't actually want to say much about your ideas with the VK bc I feel like once i get started, I'lll just ramble and give away all my ideas about the fics I have planned 😭 but VK being cruel and possessive is good food
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tornprince · 2 months
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Hey, so not to leap into your ask box as a total stranger, but you mentioned in the tags that you were willing to answer questions about phalloplasty. I’m still figuring out if I want it, and if it’s not an inconvenience, I’d like to hear about what it’s like, or any common misconceptions or things you’d be ok with sharing. You don’t have to answer it publicly if you don’t want to, or answer at all. No pressure!
Howdy, I’d be happy to! This turned out a lot longer than I thought it would so sorry for the little essay lol
Since there are a lot of little variations on phalloplasty both in the type you get and the “stages” I’ll explain that first.
I got RFF/forearm flap phalloplasty with urethral lengthening, clitoral burial and a full vaginectomy. My first surgery was a hysterectomy and partial vaginectomy, about 6 months after that I got the phallo itself, urethra lengthening and the rest of the vaginectomy, and then a couple weeks after that I got glansplasty. I’m scheduled to get the erectile and testicular implants later this month. All of this was covered by insurance.
I am overall extremely happy with my phallo, it’s really been everything I could have wanted. I’ll just give a kind of random run down of some things:
Healing: If you count the time for all of the above surgeries I took roughly 2 and a half months off work. 2 weeks for the hysto/vaginectomy, 6 weeks for the phallo and another 2 for the glansplasty. I’ll be taking a week off for the next one.
I spent 5 days in the hospital after the phallo, those were by far the roughest days. Like the first day after surgery the big thing they had me do was just sit up in bed, and even that made me feel very dizzy and sick.
By far the most painful parts of healing were the vaginectomy and the thigh graft. I had a catheter for 6 weeks which was a pain in the ass, and the forearm graft needs daily dressing changes for several weeks. Once you get past those first few days though, it’s kind of surprising how not terrible it is. I was walking my dog after like 3 weeks.
The part that has the highest complication rate is the urethral lengthening, I was told by my urologist that the percentage of urethral complications after surgery was somewhere between 60-70%, I was basically told to go into surgery kind of just expecting there would be some sort of urethral complication.
This did happen to me and I got a stricture (urethra healing tight enough you can’t pee through it) twice. The first time they fixed it while I was getting the glansplasty, the second time I had to go in for an extra minor surgery to fix it. Since then I have had no issues.
Here is what my urologist had to say about the urethral complications when I asked for details: in quite a few cases they just heal on their own with a little additional time using a catheter and they never need surgical intervention. He said if it ever became necessary, they could just “disconnect” the new urethra and have you go back to peeing the way you did before surgery.
He also stated that they had never had that happen and had always been able to get the new plumbing working, even if in some cases it took longer.
Sensation: I did not lose any clitoral sensation, it’s just buried in the base of the phallus so you have to kind of rub/squeeze harder to get there. I was able to orgasm as soon as I was cleared for sexual stimulation after surgery, which I believe was 2 months?
My surgeon said that although the degree of sexual sensation a person has after surgery can vary, they had never had anybody completely lose sensation or be unable to orgasm after surgery.
I won’t get too detailed on this public post but it has been less than a year since my phallo and I have enough sexual sensation on my penis to orgasm just from it being touched, the buried clitoris doesn’t have to be stimulated (though it does help!)
Visual: I don’t have too much to say here but I’ve often seen people say that phallo dicks “look weird” or whatever. Mine looks….like a normal penis. It has been seen by many people of all genders and sexualities and nobody has ever said anything was off about it.
Really there is enough natural variation in native penises that I don’t think you’d end up with anything that wouldn’t be possible on someone born with a penis.
Hope this was helpful! If you have follow up questions feel free to bug me
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