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thesolferino · 4 years ago

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True Calling

⤷ dream x f!reader.

⤷ word count: 3.9k

⤷ requested: yes, by this lovely anon!

— summary: dream meets his favorite singer on an among us livestream.

“Dude, what could go wrong? Just do it.”

“What could go wrong?! Literally so many things, you ass.”

Dream heard Sapnap sigh through the mic right into his headphones, the dim grey of his Discord background doing barely anything to illuminate his features as he stared at his open messages blankly.

“First of all, don’t.. speak to me like that, I am doing you a favour by sitting here and listening to you panic about stupid shit. Second of all, nothing big could go wrong. What, you’re a little awkward in the beginning, maybe, and that’s it.” Dream adjusted his headphones a little bit, Sapnap’s rant flowing into his ears but dissipating somewhere halfway to his brain, because, yes, things could go wrong and he can’t be proven otherwise.

“Did you forget that I’m a public figure? And that my fans are insane? I say one wrong thing and it’ll be memed and haunt me in my dreams. Did you forget that SHE’s a public figure? And that this is live? God…” he retorts back, listening to Sapnap helplessly sigh once again in response. He anxiously switches from his Discord to Twitter, then to YouTube, to Twitch and then back to Discord, frantically clicking around. In reality, he knows Sapnap is right, and it’s anxiety whispering into his ear that he’s gonna somehow fuck up, but maybe it’s simply easier to stay and argue with him into the night instead of actually responding to that message.

The stream is still going. Quackity’s voice speaks over Sapnap’s quiet breathing. “Damn, he’s still not responding. Um, let me try Tubbo, maybe?”

Before he knows it, the opportunity to join the stream is slipping out of his fingers, and Dream isn’t sure if he’s happy about that or not. On one hand, he gets to meet one of his favorite artists whose album he’s played way too many times to count, and on the other, the chances of him embarrassing himself in front of that same artist and a hundred thousand other people are extremely high, and he’s not sure if he likes the odds of that.

“Man, I don’t know. You won’t listen to me, anyway. Don’t join if you don’t want to.” Dream hears the annoyed tinge in Sapnap’s voice, and that’s what pours the last bit of courage into his veins because the best way to do anything in life is to follow Sapnap’s advice after you’ve already irritated him to the point of defeat, and he murmurs a quick “bye” and hangs up before the other can even respond, typing a rapid “Sure, send me the VC link” back to Quackity.

He hears a delighted exhale coming from his Twitch tab just as Quackity forwards him the link. “Okay, nevermind, we’ve got Dream! He’ll join in a second.”

With that, he swiftly closes the Twitch tab and with an encouraging sip of water, he finally joins the Discord voice chat with the rest of the players. Your Discord image sticks out like a sore thumb to him despite being a super basic, Googleable picture of you that he’s probably seen a million times by now, and upon seeing it, reality slaps him right over the face and he realises that, oh shit, he actually joined.

“Hey everyone.” Dream speaks into the mic and a mix of excited voices greets him at the same time as he loads up the game. Your icon is missing the green halo. He stares at it, as if you’ll magically speak up if he stares long and hard enough. That, apparently, works.

Pokimane’s “Dream, hi!” seems to set something off in your brain, and you speak again.

“Oh, Dream?” the green halo appears, and Dream resists the urge to say something stupid or bite his hand or anything of the sort when you say his name. “Aren’t you the guy who listens to my music all the time?” you giggle.

Quackity laughs loudly in his usual fashion, and Dream feels his hands go cold as the Among Us loading page pops up. “Wh-huh?”

“Yeah, you-you listen to my music a lot! Your fans always tag me under that… ‘Dream’s Spotify’ Twitter account, I remember you.” Dream swears his heart is about to jump out of his chest and start bouncing around on the floor because his ribs are way too restrictive for that type of movement, but he tries his best to play it cool and laughs lightheartedly.

“I do! I’m, like, your biggest fan.” he grins, as if you can see him, and you laugh in return.

“Yeah, man, you pay my rent. Thanks.” you say and a couple of people laugh while Dream inputs the code and his character finally pops up, immediately running around like the rest of the group. He runs around your purple character and hears you chuckle as you run around him too, but not for long, because the game starts and everyone mutes themselves. He audibly sighs, because he can afford to, considering he’s not streaming and nobody can hear the amount of courage this whole thing is taking him.

A notification pops up on his screen - the Dream Team group chat seems to be talking. Must’ve already found some way to make fun of me, he thinks to himself as he huffs out a large breath and runs through cafeteria and weapons to do his tasks in navigation. Corpse is hot on his tail the whole time, and not to say he’s an untrustworthy guy, but Dream isn’t really looking forward to getting killed before even speaking to you properly, so he runs around, trying to find somebody to stick with so Corpse doesn’t shove a knife in his back while he’s doing a task.

Thankfully, Karl emerges somewhere from the direction of storage right into communications where Dream was going, too. Just as Dream starts finishing download and Corpse and Karl line up behind him, his screen flashes bright red and white and the bold letters “Dead body reported” pop up. Everyone unmutes themselves and his eyes bore into your character, immediately.

“Alright, the body was in top left of the… uh, upper engine. I need everyone’s positions.” Rae immediately spoke.

“I was in electrical, I-I went through cafeteria to the upper engine with Poki, there was nobody there, we did our tasks, went down to lower engine, then Poki left with Toast, and I went to electrical and the body was reported.” Sykkuno said, and Pokimane confirmed with a hum of agreement.

“Dream?” Rae asked, and he spoke up.

“I never even went that way, I went through weapons to nav, and then to communications, and then the body was found. Corpse can vouch for me because he was following me the entire time and I kinda thought he was gonna kill me. And Karl saw me in communications, us three were all together when you… reported the body.” He rambled, trying to defend himself.

“Yeah, it’s true, he was with me the whole time.” Corpse supported.

“Karl, which way did you get to communications?” Toast asked.

“Uh, through storage.” Karl replied quickly.

“That’s funny, ‘cause I was in security, and I could swear I saw you walk past.” Toast said, and a couple of “ooh”s echo through the call.

“That makes no sense because even if I did go that way, I wouldn’t have time to get to communications and start doing my task with Dream and Corpse if I killed Ethan! And Rae, you-you saw me do my task in storage!” Karl loudly defended himself.

“...that… that’s true, yeah.” she said.

“If you ask me, Toast, you’re being real sus for lying about that.” Karl threw it back at Toast, who protested.

“Listen, I didn’t say you killed anybody, I just said I saw someone run past!” he claimed.

“Bretman and Y/N are being real quiet, though.” Corpse points out, and the green halo around your icon lights up once again.

“Oh shit, I didn’t realise I was muted. Sorry, guys.” you laughed. “Um, I was with… Quackity, in… what’s that shit on the right called?”

“O2.” Quackity quickly jumped in.

“Right, O2. I went to… top left, first, and I did my tasks there, and then to weapons and then to O2, and then the body was reported.”

“You were in top left?” Rae repeated.

“Yeah.”

“And was there anyone with you?”

“Um… no? I was alone, and then I saw Quackity in top right, and then we went to, uh, O2 together.” you said and Corpse sighed loudly.

“That means she could’ve had the time to kill Ethan and run.” Toast points out.

“Hey! I didn’t kill anyone! I don’t even know how this game works…” you whined into the mic and Quackity laughed.

“Yeah, I dunno Y/N, you were dancing real suspiciously around me…” he said, causing you to defend yourself louder.

“Why would I kill anyone?! I don’t even know how to do that, I’m a nice person!”

“I don’t think she did it, guys.” Dream pipes up, tugging at the wire of his headphones absentmindedly.

“Shut up, you simp.” Quackity fires back instantly, making everyone in the call laugh, including Dream.

“Damn right, I’m a Y/N simp. She can do no wrong. I mean, look at that innocent face! She did nothing, I’m-I’m sure.” He argued, making you cover your mouth and giggle.

“Their face is literally the same as everyone’s! We’re all astronauts!” Rae protested, but Dream kept shaking his head.

“No, hers is more innocent.” he said. “Toast, why are you so set on accusing everyone, anyway?”

“Oh, you’re so not attacking Toast right now-”

“Guys, I think we should skip.” Sykkuno pipes up to calm the conversation, and everyone agrees, even though most of them mumble “sus” under their breath as soon as they mute their mics.

Dream’s tiny green astronaut stomps his way over to the left side immediately, changing paths this time and making his way into the Upper Engine, trying to finish his tasks in time and possibly find someone to accompany him so he at least doesn’t have to argue over his alibi. He had four tasks left, two of them in Upper Engine, so after that he was free to roam around wherever his heart desired. Just as he started doing one of them, he watched your purple character step in and run circles around him, earning you a quiet laugh that he didn’t know he uttered until he heard himself do it and silently scolded himself for getting that flustered at something so simple.

The two of you did your tasks together before going down to reactor. Just as Dream started doing one of his tasks, a dead body was reported again and he unmuted himself as Toast immediately started borderline yelling into his headphones.

“Bretman just killed Sykkuno RIGHT in front of me. I literally watched him do it. He killed Sykkuno in COLD BLOOD.” he confidently claimed and Dream, quite uninterested, grabbed his bottle of water and lightly sipped on it, wiping beads of sweat resting right above his eyebrows with his forearm, blindly looking around the darkness, trying to get his eyes to adjust looking away from the computer screen. His eyes searched for the window - it was open, just enough to let a fresh breeze inside, but it never seemed to do that, letting humid air in with open arms like a welcome guest. Florida is fucking hell, he thinks, gulping down some more water.

“No, I didn’t! I seriously did not, he’s the one who killed him and is trying to frame me now. I swear to God, Toast…” Bretman shouted into his worn mic, trying to argue back.

“Yeah, to be honest, Bretman, you were silent the whole time when Ethan died.” Rae reasoned, earning quite a lot of “ooh”s and causing little “voted” signs to appear next to Poki, Toast and Karl’s names as Bretman tried his best to fight back.

“I didn’t know I was muted the whole time! You know I’m bad at this! Why would I... you know what, nevermind! Vote me! Vote me! You’ll see when Toast kills you all, I don’t care anymore. I literally saw-”

Dream slumps further into his chair, sure that the foam would have a dent of his body shape imprinted even when he’s long gone from it, and unlocks his phone with a quiet sigh. He opens Discord, and wishes he hadn’t, because Sapnap and George are always on the front lines and ready to make fun of him at any chance possible. He types back a stupid joke, calling them losers, but before he can press send, a Twitter notification pops up on his phone that almost makes his painfully sweaty hands lose grip of the phone.

“this is so boring” your message reads, from your official Twitter account. Dream blinks a few times, and looks up from his phone to observe his murky, empty room, eyes flashing from the window to the ripped chocolate bar wrapper that somehow made its way onto the floor to a cup of coffee from this afternoon. Did the humid air finally get to him? Hallucinations?

He clicks on the notification - it proves to not be a product of his imagination, after all. Three dots dance around on his screen cheerfully, but they suddenly stop. His ears tune in. Bretman is still defending his honor. Something else must’ve interrupted you. His shaky hands barely hit the right letters.

He takes a handful of screenshots amidst his euphoria, and forwards them to the group chat with no caption besides an emoji sticking its tongue out - he wants to tell them to suck his dick, or something along those lines, but your message remains a priority as he rushes back to the Twitter app to reply.

“Right” he manages to write without a typo. “They’re annoying”

Three dots immediately return to his screen like a happy memory, and he almost can’t believe you’re texting back so fast. George would probably humble him by saying it’s because you have nothing better to do, but what George doesn’t know can’t hurt him, Dream supposes, and clicks on your profile instinctively as he adjusts his headphones on one ear. By the time you finish typing your message, the group decided to vote out Bretman, who ended up not being an imposter.

The three dots disappear as quick as they came, and so does the anticipation that bubbled up in Dream’s throat as he sourly leaves to finish the rest of his tasks. The rest of the game stays as boring as it started, save for the giggles and hushed laughter that came from you at every few jokes he made - of which he made quite a lot, in a desperate attempt to make you laugh, at least a little bit. Of course, Quackity was there every step of the way to accidentally mention how Dream sounded a lot more hype and alive during this game than he does ever, but you win some, you lose some, eh?

In the next game you actually decided to set up proximity chat, so of course Dream followed you around everywhere, hot on your tail at all times - what else is he supposed to do, when the chance presented itself, really?

“Are you imposter?” His character obnoxiously ran circles around you as you did your wires task slowly and unsurely since this stream was your first time playing.

“No, but I wouldn’t tell you even if I was, dummy.” You replied, running around his own character briefly before running up to do the rest of your tasks, watching the green astronaut follow you close behind.

“Why not?” Dream questioned, eyes following all your movements since he didn’t have anything better to do considering he finished all his tasks.

“Do you not know how this game works?”

“Yeah, but you’d tell me, right? I wouldn’t… rat you out.” He heard a sigh coming through his headphones in response, and his grin widened just a little, watching your character walk away from him.

“I know you wouldn’t.” you replied. “I’ll tell you if I’m imposter, I guess.”

“You wouldn’t kill me, would you?” Dream spoke into his mic, reaching to fix it and realising the way his hand trembled a little, fully aware he was walking the line between flirty and obnoxious more than usual. He lowered his gaze just to see his keyboard reflect the light of the computer back to him - the sweat from his palms seemed to seep onto the keyboard. He refused to think about the mocking things his best friends would say if they found out how nervous he was just to talk to you.

“No, of course not! I wouldn’t be able to kill you.” You chirped just as a dead body was discovered and the two of you were torn from the conversation.

In the next one, his screen flashed an ominous black and red with the word “Impostor” and your purple character stood proudly next to his green one, and he snickered to himself, adjusting his headphones one more time (the more he did it, the more he was convinced it was one of those anxious habits of his).

Shifting in his chair, he started moving and couldn’t believe his eyes when he realised the two of you managed to lock yourselves in a room with Corpse and Sykkuno, accomplishing a double kill in barely the first two minutes of the game. The two of you vented while Dream muttered curses under his breath, breaking out in a sweat wondering if you’re going to get caught or not as you casually hummed to a random tune while faking tasks, hitting the notes in such an effortless way that it made Dream relax and get even more nervous at the same time. It didn’t take too long before the body was found, and you seemed to adapt to the game very quickly, as Dream just sat back most of the time and watched you stretch out a whole essay on why you and Dream could NOT have been imposters.

“Why would they stick together the whole time? Couldn’t they get at least someone else to vouch for them?” Toast complained.

“Girl, Dream wants some… alone time with Y/N, obviously.” Bretman said, despite being the one most sus of you in the first place, forcing laughter out of the whole lobby, Dream’s sticking out the most as his mood constantly swayed from finding the whole thing funny to being worried sick if you actually find him weird.

“Exactly! And we’re gonna have our alone time if we want to, thank you very much.”

Well, Dream thinks, taking a stressed gulp of water from his bottle, at least we cleared that one up.

“I don’t think that sounded the way you wanted it to, Y/N.” Karl pipes up, making Quackity burst into another fit of loud laughter, and you immediately protested.

“It sounded exactly the way I wanted it to! Now, vote Rae or else.”

When the meeting was over, he ran after you through cafeteria, grin splitting out on his face before he even spoke.

“You’re pretty…” his silence extended as he watched your character stare at his. “...pretty smart.”

You snorted. “Right. You’re pretty…” you extended your silence in return, mocking him. “...too.”

His heart jumps. “You forgot a word there.” he says as you stomp out to storage.

“I said what I said, Dreamy.”

He swears this can’t be healthy for his blood pressure. In the corner of his eye, Discord notifications pop up like crazy. The boys must be watching your stream. His heart swells with both pride and dread, knowing he’s about to be called something along the lines of pretty Dreamy for the next two months.

“How do you know I’m pretty? You’ve never even seen my face.” Dream replies as heat creeps up like a spirit rising from soil, from the back of his neck, seeping into his ears and cheeks somewhat equally. His eyes dart to the window again. Of course it’s the stupid Florida weather that has him burning up, flustered. Maybe he should open another window.

“Is this an invitation to see it?” you say, a teasing tone clinging off your voice and he can practically hear you smiling.

“No, I’m just saying! If you want to see it, though, that… that can be arranged.” he bites his lip as a physical attempt of holding back the smile that breaks out as he waits for your response, chest puffing in both nervousness and odd confidence.

“Can it? I mean, I don’t need to see it, I just know already, you have those… pretty boy vibes. But I wouldn’t…” you chuckle. “...be opposed to seeing it, for sure. Don’t count on me not to leak the pictures, though. I want the clout.”

“What do you MEAN you want the clout, you’re Y/N! You don’t need clout from a Minecraft YouTuber!” He argues back, a small wheeze escaping him mid sentence as you giggle and run around, with him following your every move.

“You keep my fucking lights on, man! Whenever your Spotify Twitter account thingy tweets that you’re listening to my stuff, the streams go up! I need your clout.” you say as you run into admin and snap Toast’s neck and run back out casually, as if nothing happened.

“Yeah, that’s how me listening to your songs on repeat works.” he says and you let out some sort of irritated groan.

“Shut up, smartass.” Just as you say that, somebody seems to find the body and you’re pulled into a meeting, where Rae susses both of you immediately.

“No, because both of you are always together! And someone always spots you walking by the place where the bodies are found! At some point that can’t be a coincidence, right?” she accuses, practically yelling into the mic.

“Of course they’re always together, check- check fuckin’ Twitter! They’re trending on like three different spots already!” Quackity jumps in, loud as always, and the lobby gives off mixed reactions.

“What? We are?” Dream asks, and Quackity confirms with a “yeah, man! Check!” and so he complies, quickly pulling out his phone to check the trending tabs. Sure enough, among the politics and sports, “DREAM Y/N”, “PRETTY BOY” and “DREAM FACE” are crammed, sat at 7th, 14th and 18th place, respectfully. A satisfied grin breaks out on his face. At least they see it, too.

“This has to be the first time Dream has trended for something heterosexual.” Karl points out, earning loud laughter from Quackity and Bretman, less loud on your part.

“Exactly! We’re a power couple! Stay mad!” You shouted, with Dream supporting you in the background, although still shyly adjusting his headphones every few seconds, unable to comprehend that oh, this is actually happening.

Both of you get voted out during the next few minutes, but that really means nothing to Dream - they actually do him quite a favor, because the two of you get to excuse yourselves and he sees those three familiar dots dance on his screen again as he leans back into his chair with a dopey grin, playing with the strings of his sweatpants, waiting for your next and next and next message.

He opens Discord on his computer to type one last message into the groupchat before turning it off for the night:

Dream (03:14): maybe Minecraft wasn’t my calling after all

Dream (03:14): can’t believe I just met my soulmate on Among Us

#dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream imagine #dreamwastaken imagine #dream fanfic #dreamwastaken fanfic #dream fluff #dream x you #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt imagine #mcyt fanfic #mcyt x reader

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gubler-me-up · 4 years ago

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Dream’s in Motion

Request: Hi!! I was wondering if you could do something where the reader and spencer have been friends for a realllly long time & one night on the plane she ends up falling asleep on him or something and all the sudden it makes him realize his feelings & he’s like oh fuck i really like her and he ends up telling her and idk just something really cute??

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Sorry this took AWHILE to write omg idek what’s wrong with me. I guess doing marketing work is taking all my creative juices away from me because by the end of the day ya girl be exhausted. That being said I’m glad I finally got to publish this cute fluff! Hope you enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: ~fluff~

Content warning: Like one swear word

Word count: 1.7

————-

Spencer walked up to Y/N’s hotel room door to see if she was ready to meet the team downstairs to leave for the jet back to Quantico. He knocked on her door and waited patiently for her to open up. Ever since they became friends five years ago when Y/N joined the team, they’ve made it a tradition to make sure they were both set to leave for the jet to go home.

Y/N opened the door with a huge smile already plastered on her face. She had her to-go back ready in her hand. Spencer smiled and held out his hand to her. She obliged and gave him her to-go bag. From the very beginning he would offer to carry her to-go bag out of courtesy. Before Y/N would refuse to let him carry it because she felt bad but he always insisted he would do anything to make her day easier.

“You’re such a gentleman, Spence. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how sweet you are,” she said as she closed the hotel room door.

He smiled. “You act as if I’m carrying you on my back.”

She giggled. “You might as well be.”

“I would if you wanted me to.”

“I’ll remember that next time I’m too tired to walk to the jet.”

They both laughed as they walked towards the elevator. The rest of the team was probably downstairs in the lobby waiting for them. They were always the last two to arrive which raised eyebrows and raised higher suspicions as to if they were just really good friends.

When they stepped into the elevator, Y/N was telling him something about what she was going to do when she got home but he found himself lost in her eyes. He found himself doing it often lately and felt bad whenever he did because he loved hearing her talk. He loved watching her smile once she remembered the little details in her story she forgot. He loved the excitement in her eyes whenever he had anything to add to her story.

Having Y/N in his life felt like an upgrade to him. They were always there for each other and understood each other deeper than anyone else. He probably spent more hours with her on his days off than he spent alone. The more they saw each other, the happier he was. It was unreal to him because no one person had ever made him feel a sense of euphoria before.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, they both could see the team waiting in the lobby. As they walked up towards them the looks already started to float around. Morgan’s eyebrow squiggled up as he gave Spencer a fascinated look. JJ tried to conceal her smile. Hotch looked at them unimpressed by their tardiness. Spencer and Y/N played every look off as cool as possible instead of trying to defend themselves.

“Nice for you two to finally join us,” JJ said.

“Better late than never,” Y/N said.

“Ten minutes late though?” Morgan asked.

“It’s been 10 minutes?” Spencer asked.

“We’ll discuss your time management skills on the jet. Let’s go,” Hotch said.

“Yes, sir,” they both said.

Spencer sat on the couch reading a book as everyone else on the jet was sleeping. It was the middle of the night by now as they were flying back to the east coast. He didn’t fall asleep like everyone else because someone was keeping him up. Y/N was still fighting sleep as she tried to finish her crossword puzzle next to him. He would quietly chime in here and there to help her out but she wanted to complete one on her own. She was still extremely grateful for his input as her brain slowly shut down.

She yawned for the fifteenth time within the hour. Spencer looked over at her to see her looking blankly at the crossword in front of her. He smiled as he placed his hand on the page. It took her a while to notice which told him she was even more tired than he originally thought.

“Y/N, I think you should get some rest. You’re really tired,” he softly said.

“But I want to keep you company,” she said through another yawn.

He blushed. “You just being by my side is company enough. You don’t have to be awake.”

She looked at him to give him a faint smile as her eyes could barely stay open. Without another word exchanged between both of them, she laid down with her head on his lap. Before she drifted off, she looked up at him with sleepy eyes as he looked at her surprised.

“You’re okay with me sleeping on you right?” She asked.

He nodded his head. “O-of course.”

She smiled one last time before making herself comfortable on his lap again. He picked up the blanket and draped it over her. He looked at her to see she had already drifted away. He felt the flutter in his chest again. He usually felt those flutters when they were alone. Even in a plane full of his team members and friends, she was the only one he focused on.

He put his book down and let out a deep sigh as he thought about this feeling inside of him. He looked at her peacefully sleeping on his lap. He liked how she was comfortable with him and he liked he could be the one to bring her comfort.

He sighed again as he took a moment to think about every time he and Y/N were together. The way she would look at him made him feel like the luckiest man out there. Every time they touched gave him a burst of energy. Her whole presence made him feel as if he was on another planet every time.

‘Oh fuck, I really like her,’ he thought to himself.

When he finally came to terms with it in his mind, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it the whole jet ride. He didn’t even attempt to continue reading. No amount of words in his favourite book could distract him from the feelings he had finally come to terms with.

He looked down at her again. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face ever so gently so she wouldn’t wake up. Even in her sleep she smiled at his touch. He felt his face radiate as he saw her small smile appear and fade as she drifted back off to dreamland.

He stared out into space as he thought about her. He thought about how he would properly express himself to her without embarrassing himself. He didn’t even know if she felt the same fluttering feelings towards him. He pondered the whole way back to Quantico. Was telling her worth risking their friendship? Would she even reciprocate her feelings back to him? He understood if she didn’t but he secretly wished she would.

After a two hour flight, they were finally back in Quantico. It was the middle of the night so everyone was in a hurry to get in their cars and make their way home to get a decent night’s sleep. Spencer and Y/N walked to her car together as they hadn’t parked so far away from each other. Even though she was still tired, her profiler senses were still on point as she saw Spencer gripping the strap of his satchel tightly.

“Is everything okay, Spence?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said.

“I didn’t sleep on you too hard, did I?” She joked.

“No, not at all,” he chuckled.

“So, what’s up? You think I don’t notice you gripping onto your satchel for dear life or your nervous expression?” She asked.

Spencer immediately stopped gripping his satchel strap so tight and fixed his nervous expression. Well, he tried to. Y/N raised an eyebrow as she wasn’t buying his attempt to avoid her questions.

“Are you trying to avoid answering me?” She asked.

“No, I would never,” he said.

“Seems like you would since you’re doing just that right now,” she said.

“It’s just…it’s hard to express,” he said.

Y/N looked at him in shock. “Dr. Spencer Reid finding it hard to express himself? Unheard of. It must be something really complex.”

“You can say that,” he said.

As they reached Y/N’s car, she grabbed his hand which had found itself back on his satchel strap. She held his hand close to her and he could feel his palms getting sweaty. He felt his face getting hot again as well as she looked deep into his eyes with that smile he loved so much plastered on her face.

“Well, you can attempt to express it to me,” she said.

At the moment she said those words, Spencer found his hands grip the side of her face and pulled her into a kiss. Y/N didn’t even pull away to question it and wrapped her arms around his neck to let him know the kiss was well received. As they parted lips, Spencer looked at her with a face coloured deep red. Y/N giggled at how flustered he looked.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know-”

“That was really hot. Like really, really hot.”

Spencer looked at her in shock. “Really? It wasn’t weird or awkward?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long while but I’ve been too chicken to do it.”

“Really? You like me too?”

“Like? I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, good doctor.”

He chuckled. “Maybe we can discuss us over dinner sometime?”

“Only if we can do more of this.”

Y/N embraced Spencer in another quick kiss to seal the deal. When they parted Spencer couldn’t help smiling widely as he looked at her. He stroked her cheek as he got lost in her eyes.

“We can definitely do more of this,” he said.

“Finally,” they heard JJ and Morgan shout.

They turned to see they were both walking by on the other side. They gave them two thumbs up each with overjoyed looks on their face. Spencer and Y/N giggled as they watched how excited they were for them. They both knew they weren’t the only people who were waiting for a move to be made.

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512 @laneybobeczko-g

MASTERLIST

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ridiasfangirlings · 3 years ago

Note

Hey!! I'm the soap opera anon, thank you so much for replying to my ask and making me feel the dokis! Can you write a cute aftermath for it, like Fushimi doesn't die (as per your tag, Munakata's blue powers save him, for example) but gets some (not so bad but still annoying) after effects, like he can't concentrate as good as before? or has some speech problems. How would they all deal with it, for example Munakata blaming himself because he didn't see anything wrong before it happened, (1/2)

Following up on this ask, maybe Munakata's able to use his Blue power to somehow keep Fushimi alive until they can get him to a hospital and emergency surgery. In the aftermath Fushimi survives but he's still got a lot of aftereffects, like he gets migraines frequently that he has to take medicine for and maybe he does have some aphasia issues afterward. Due to this he's much less able to work than usual and even when he is working he often finds himself frustrated by his inability to communicate the things he wants to say properly. Like imagine him sitting in front of his computer struggling to put a report into words and the squad are all worrying about him but no one wants to say anything because they know Fushimi will get mad or think they're pitying him.

Munakata meanwhile wants to assist Fushimi in any way he can to make things easier but then at the same time he's feeling some guilt himself, that he didn't catch this earlier and didn't push things even when he knew Fushimi wasn't feeling well. Even so I don't think Munakata is the sort of person who would let himself be paralyzed by guilt, he feels like that was in the past and while he regrets it there is nothing else he can do but move forward. Therefore he decides to focus on helping Fushimi heal, like imagine he suggests they play a 'long' game of chess where Fushimi can make a move whenever he feels like it. Fushimi thinks that's stupid but Munakata urges him to play, actually using this as a way to like stimulate Fushimi's memory and help him heal faster. Munakata also takes care to find things he knows Fushimi can do even if those things are a struggle – he tells the squad not to help Fushimi unless he asks, instead believing in Fushimi that he can complete the work. Afterward Fushimi's annoyed that he struggled on such a basic thing but Munakata's like 'ah, but you finished it perfectly, did you not? Why should you be upset, that such a thing didn't come easily, when you still showed the skill and determination needed to complete this task that others would not have been able to complete regardless of the time spent?'. Fushimi clicks his tongue but he also can't really argue, slowly realizing that even if he can't do things as easily as he once did he can still do them.

His relationship with Yata also starts to change, like imagine right after everything when Fushimi's still in the hospital and can't even really talk Yata just shows up with flowers and sits next to the bed all 'since you can't talk back for once I'm gonna say what I want to say.' Almost losing Fushimi like that made Yata realize just how important Fushimi is to him and ultimately he doesn't care what Fushimi thinks of Homra or Mikoto or even Yata himself: Yata's going to be Fushimi's friend again and Fushimi's just going to have to deal with it. Later when he's a bit better Fushimi tries a few half-hearted attempts at being Yata's enemy again but he's surprised when Yata doesn't rise to the bait, instead Yata shows up at Scepter 4 from time to time offering to help Fushimi with anything he needs and even when Fushimi can't find the words to talk to him Yata will keep up a steady stream of chatter all on his own. Fushimi starts off trying to maintain his distance but imagine with all his issues and recovery he finds himself relaxing around Yata without even really realizing it, and sometimes when they're talking Yata of all people will know exactly what Fushimi means to say even when Fushimi can't find the words.

#Fushimi Saruhiko #Talking K #oh good it turned cute by the end ;;#I was worried how to make this cute recovery when it seemed all angst XD #I like the idea of Yata just walking in like you can't talk so I'm declaring us friends again sorry you don't get to argue #like he's decided and that's that #and somehow Fushimi doesn't dislike this

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pastelwitchling · 4 years ago

Text

Based on an anon’s lovely dream.

Also, to the forlex anon -- sorry about this. Maybe I’ll post some forlex tonight, or tomorrow morning at the latest.

***

Of all the ways Forrest had imagined spending his Friday night, sitting on a hospital floor across a closed room was not one of them.

But this was where Alex was, this was where Alex wanted to be, so Forrest knew there was nothing else for it. He had left to get his boyfriend a coffee and had come back to find him in the exact same position; staring at the closed door with an almost numb expression, as if lost in thought about the man lying asleep behind it.

Forrest nudged Alex’s arm with his elbow as he sat down beside him, handing him his drink. As Alex’s fingers closed around the hot cup, his shoulders fell slightly and he exhaled deeply as if he’d been frozen this entire time and was only now thawed free.

“Thank you,” Alex muttered but did not take a sip. The dark circles under his eyes were prominent, his cheeks hollowed out, his hair sticking out in messy – yet somehow perfect? – strands as Alex had run his hands through it more than once. It had been a weird night.

Forrest and Alex had been having a date in, lying on Alex’s couch, watching TV, Alex curled up on Forrest’s chest. Forrest had just leaned in for a kiss when the phone went off. Alex had said he would get rid of whoever it was, but even Forrest had heard the crying on the other end, had seen the way Alex’s brows had furrowed and his eyes had widened, how he’d put on his prosthetic and threw on his jacket, not bothering to change out of his sweats.

“Michael’s at the hospital,” Alex had said. “I – I need to go.”

It was only through sheer determination to go with him did Alex accept to have Forrest tag along. He had to be there for his boyfriend, didn’t he? He had to show that he wasn’t intimidated by Alex and Michael’s past relationship, for try as he might to deny it, Forrest wasn’t an idiot. He’d picked up on who Alex’s long time ago was a while ago. The only problem was that he’d believed it was over.

Now, however, as he watched Alex clutch his cup tighter, his eyes on Michael’s hospital door, unseeing, an unpleasant reality settled in his chest. An answer to a question he hadn’t realized he’d been asking since the night Alex had stood in front of an entire bar full of cowboys and sang a love song to someone else.

“Hey,” Forrest tried to keep his voice light, brushing back Alex’s bangs from his eyes. Alex’s eyes fluttered at the touch and Forrest’s heart ached. Bad timing, he thought. We were always just bad timing. “You should go home, get some sleep.”

Alex shook his head. “No, I – I can’t leave him.”

“He has Kyle looking after him,” Forrest said. “And his brother and sister are in the waiting room. Alex, you don’t have to be here.”

Alex said nothing a moment, then, “I can’t leave him.”

And despite it all, despite the twinge of anguish that washed over Forrest’s heart – because he’d really gotten to like this stubborn airman – he couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at his lips.

“I know you can’t,” he said softly. “Well,” he sighed, “Alex Manes, it was a fun ride.”

At this, Alex’s brows furrowed and he turned to Forrest. For the first time in hours, Alex’s eyes seemed to fall back into focus. “What?”

“I really loved getting to know you –”

“Wait, what’re you talking about? What’re you doing?” Alex asked.

Maybe it was just because it was the dead of night, but Forrest felt sad. He really saw a life with this guy, as short as their time was. Something had connected, he couldn’t really explain it, but…

Bad timing.

He straightened his shoulders and, with his small smile, said, “I’m breaking up with you.”

Alex sat up properly, setting his coffee cup on the ground. “W-Why? Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Forrest said. “By all accounts, you’re the perfect boyfriend.”

“Then why are you breaking up with me?”

Forrest sighed, searching Alex’s face for any hope. And it was there, and that was the saddest part of all. Alex did want him, did truly like him, and yet… there was Michael, always there, in his core.

He groaned. “This would be so much easier if you weren’t so cute.”

“I don’t want to break up,” Alex said. “If it’s because we’re here, then… then, I swear, the second he wakes up –”

“Don’t,” Forrest shook his head. “Don’t force yourself to make that kind of oath. You don’t want it either.”

“I’m not in love with Michael.”

“Yes, you are,” Forrest said. “And I knew that, and I thought I could live with it, but… Alex, being apart from him will kill you, and I can’t live with that.”

“I don’t want to be apart from you!” Alex said, and Forrest fought back the desperate part of him that wanted to surge forward and kiss him.

Forrest rested his head against the wall and said nothing a moment, then, “Can you look me in the eyes… and honestly tell me that you” – he cleared his throat – “that you would rather be with me than him?”

Alex held Forrest’s gaze daringly, his chin jutted out in that stubborn way Forrest had come to like a little too much, and opened his mouth to answer. Nothing came out.

Forrest tried not to feel disappointed, but the thought of not spending anymore nights with Alex, of not waking up to his dark eyes and tousled hair after accidentally falling asleep together, of not being able to kiss him anymore or pick his brain or make him laugh or see his smile – it all kept the sad look in his eyes more than anything else had in a very long time.

Alex’s shoulders fell, resigned, his expression grieved. He shook his head. “I… Forrest, I…”

Forrest cupped Alex’s jaw and leaned in, kissing his lips softly.

“Yeah,” he said. “Me, too.”

Michael opened his eyes to white walls, white sheets, and a needle in his hand.

“Look at that,” someone said, and Michael looked over to see Kyle. “Sleeping beauty’s finally awake.”

“Screw you,” Michael croaked, and went into a fit of coughs.

“Serves you right,” Kyle said, even as he helped Michael sit up against his pillow.

Michael took in the IV strip, the monitors, and raised a brow.

“You know this is all useless for someone like me, right?”

Kyle sighed, writing something down on a clipboard. “It’s to keep up appearances. You have any idea how many nurses I’ve had to warn out of here? I did a blood test on myself to help your sorry ass stay secret, so how about a little gratitude?”

“Blah blah blah,” Michael rolled his eyes. “You got any nail polish remover?”

Kyle scoffed, and pulled out a small bottle from his pocket that Michael just knew had been left for him by one of his siblings. “I wouldn’t drink that right now if I were you,” he muttered.

“And why not?”

“Oh no reason,” Kyle returned the clipboard to its place at the foot of the bed. “Isobel and Max are in the waiting room. They’ll want to see you.”

“They’re still here?”

“They’re not the only ones,” he said, and nudged his chin at the door. “Alex is right outside.”

Michael had just uncapped the bottle in his hands, but before he could take a single sip, he froze. “Alex?”

“Yep,” he said. “He’s been sitting out there since you were brought in. Hasn’t moved.”

Michael swallowed. “If you’re messing with me, Valenti…”

It was Kyle’s turn to roll his eyes as he opened the door and stepped out. A few seconds later, Alex came in, looking exhausted but thoroughly relieved. Michael slowly set the acetone bottle aside, not daring to make any sudden moves in case it scared the airman away.

“Alex,” he said, and came up short.

Alex was in his sweats, a hoodie thrown over his Air Force t-shirt, his hair a perfect mess, his cheeks rosy and his hands trembling. In other words, he was beautiful.

“Uh – Isobel called me,” he said, hugging himself tightly. Michael wondered if it was because of the cold or something else. “She and Max are –”

“—in the waiting room,” Michael finished. “I know.”

“They’ll be up soon,” he said. “You – uh – you want me to wait outside, or –?”

“No, stay,” he blurted without thought, almost rising in his bed. He sat back down and cleared his throat. “I mean, if I want to.”

For a second, Alex looked as if he might just offer to head back home, now that he’d seen Michael was okay, but he nodded instead. “I want to.”

He sat in the small armchair next to Michael’s bed, knees pressed together, still hugging himself.

“Are you cold?” Michael asked, and Alex shook his head.

“Does it hurt? Your head?”

“A little,” Michael admitted. “I’ll get better at it next time.”

Alex pursed his lips. “So you’re gonna try again?”

“I have to,” he shrugged. “I gotta access other parts of my powers, like Max and Isobel did.”

“It didn’t hurt them like it hurt you,” Alex noted, his brows furrowed. “I wonder why.”

“Beats me,” Michael said, though secretly, he had a feeling he knew exactly why.

In trying to use his abilities, he’d been less focused on getting to know himself and his powers better, and more on being able to impress Alex, on getting him back, on his anger at Forrest – his mind had been troubled with too many thoughts, too much frustration, too much desperation to focus. In the end, he’d only hurt himself. Alex didn’t need to know that though. Michael’s troubles didn’t need to become his.

Still, it looked like Alex had enough troubles just looking at Michael sitting in a hospital bed.

“But you’re okay now?” Alex asked, his voice small. “You’re not in too much pain?”

Michael watched his eyes fill with tears and everything fell into place; his hesitation, the way he held himself, the way he sat – as if terrified that any slight move might shatter the cowboy.

Instead of answering, Michael held his arms out. Alex followed his movements and he huffed a cry before he stood and fell into Michael’s arms, wrapping his own around Michael’s shoulders.

Michael held him tightly as he cried into his shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered. “Baby, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Isobel was crying,” Alex breathed, “when she called, I – I thought –”

Michael held onto Alex’s waist more tightly, his other hand in Alex’s hair. Alex smelled of wood and maple syrup, just like he always did, but it felt like a millennia had passed since Michael had gotten to hold him like this. He buried his face in the crook of Alex’s neck, pulling Alex’s whole body in against his.

To feel his chest, his arms, his skin, his warmth – Michael felt so dizzy with his longing and desire that he thought he might faint again. When Alex pulled away, it felt as if Michael’s very soul was leaving his body, desperate to follow.

Alex wiped his face, sitting on the edge of Michael’s bed instead as Michael held onto his wrist, forbidding him from moving too far away.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said hoarsely.

“Don’t be,” Michael said. “I’d pass out a hundred times if it means we got to do that every time I woke up.”

Alex ducked his head. “Michael…”

Michael squeezed Alex’s wrist once before forcing himself to let go. “I know,” he said. “I shouldn’t talk like that. You have Forrest…” he faltered at Alex’s expression. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Alex looked away, hugging himself once more, though Michael was relieved that he wasn’t hurting himself this time. “He came with me,” he said, and Michael tried not to let his heart fall into his stomach.

“Y-Yeah? He’s waiting outside then?”

Alex shook his head, wiping at his face roughly, and Michael understood. He was happy, so happy, and he felt guilty for it, because at the same time, nothing seemed worth Alex’s tears.

“Was it because of me?”

Alex scoffed and sniffed. “Yeah, it was,” he said, and Michael felt himself crumble only until he saw the airman’s smile. “Once again, Guerin, you’ve ruined my life.”

Michael felt himself smile as he searched Alex’s face. There was no hostility there, no hatred, no blame – there never was. And Michael loved him. He loved him like he could never say.

“I’m always doing that,” he said instead.

Alex shook his head, and Michael hesitantly reached for him again. Alex bit his lower lip only for a minute before he complied, leaning into Michael’s embrace, his head on Michael’s chest as they lay in bed together. They held each other for the longest time, and Michael wondered if Kyle had taken his time getting to Max and Isobel, or if they all purposely decided to give him and Alex their time alone.

Michael was tempted to run a hand up Alex’s shirt, to pull him under the covers with him, to kiss every inch of him right here and now, but something in the way Alex sniffled and wiped at his face every so often told Michael he just wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy.

Still, that didn’t keep him from running a hand up and down Alex’s back, from pressing his lips to the top of Alex’s head, from sending his other hand down Alex’s side.

“Stop touching me like that,” Alex breathed against his collar. Michael’s hand instantly stilled.

“Does it bother you?”

Alex shook his head and moved closer to Michael so that he was completely curled up against the cowboy. Michael’s own heart hammered so painfully he thought it might jump out.

“I just… want to be here with you,” he confessed quietly. “Can’t I?”

Michael clenched his jaw, his eyes burning. If this is a dream, he silently begged, please don’t ever let me wake up.

“Yeah, Private,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around Alex. “Yeah, you can.”

#alex manes #forrest long #michael guerin #forlex #malex #forlex fic #malex fic #malex fanfic #malex fanfiction #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex angst #malex fluff #tyler blackburn #christian antidormi #michael vlamis

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faterpresources · 4 years ago

Text

Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1. Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs. Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2. Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3. Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML. You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks. This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately. An example sent to my rp blog:

4. Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5. Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

#roleplay advice #roleplay help #rph #rp reference #rp resources

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typinggently · 5 years ago

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Time for some more 3 am crackhead thoughts with yours truly. This week's concept is Bruce in super hero themed dresses with thigh high socks no shoes (I'm having a thing against shoes this week idk). Just imagine him laying around the tower with a short dress rising up his T H I C C ass and he's just laying on the couch watching TV. - Monster anon

firstly: I love it!!! thank you so much!!

secondly: You know what this reminds me of? Before I got really into feral Bruce, I had my (dearly beloved) “Bruce Wayne being a thotty Bottom is extremely important to me” tag. Which is a mouthful, I know. But the idea is this: Bruce? Thicc yet Repressed. Brucie? Thotsona.

Waning: Semi-public? Public??? sex? Slight exhibitionism. Clark & his alien anatomy

Now.

Have I watched…a SINGLE…DC film that came out in the few years? Apart from SSquad and Wonder Woman (do you know how sad I am that I’m missing BoP because of the whole virus situation?!)? No.

And yet. Jason Momoa is very hot, you know?

So what I’m saying it that when I read that, half asleep, my brain supplied that the person to stumble upon this gorgeous view should be Arthur? For reasons that don’t extend past “he’d slap that ass no questions asked”, to be entirely honest. Which is exactly what Bruce is aiming for, arranging himself on that sofa with that little dress that barely covers his ass, practically arching his back in invitation. Arthur would have to test that bounce and who could blame him?!! Certainly not Bruce, that’s for sure.

(Bruce riding Arthur on that couch and Clark walking in, so Bruce’s first instinct is to push Arthur deeper into the cushions and rest his elbows on the back of the couch, as if practising his splits against the back of the sofa while flushed and panting and wearing a slutty little orange-green dress is something he does on the regular. Clark 100% doesn’t mind and he also naturally very much knows that Bruce has a cock up his ass as they speak, but he’s amused by the show Bruce is putting on for him and decides to stay and entertain his little ‘getting caught’/exhibitionism kink. Bonus if Bruce actually comes like that, trying to talk to Clark while Arthur, who was getting smothered by The Tiddies, is mouthing at his nipples and slowly rocking up into him)

But to sweep sleepy-nasty me away with a broom, I do have some thoughts regarding Clark.

Because as a concept, Clark is very sweet and polite and chivalrous. In reality, he is all those things, but he’s also a hot-blooded alien farmboy with an intense sex drive. Which means that if he’s confronted with the visuals of Bruce in a dress with the red skirt just short enough that the hem is resting on the curve of his ass and thigh high socks on his thick thighs, he’s going to act.

So he’ll walk up with his usual cheer and be all “Hey, Honey, are you watching something fun? :)” and his hand is on Bruce’s thigh. Just like that. Very natural, very casual. (And he’s not acting. He’s very casual and natural. Sweetheart is wearing a short outfit? Wonderful. Let’s touch him, show him some appreciation)

And Bruce is stubborn. He’s not going to lose(?) this game(which he himself started by wearing a teeny tiny superman-themed dress). So he holds an entire conversation with Clark, as if the hand on his thigh is perfectly natural. Considering it is to Clark, Bruce is really just fighting himself, btw.

But to be fair - Clark isn’t putting his hand just anywhere. He took his warm palm and put it right on the little strip of skin above the thigh highs. High enough to brush against the underside of his ass, thumb now and them playfully slipping underneath the hem of his underwear, letting the elastic snap back at Bruce’s ass.

So that conversation lasts about five to seven minutes before Clark is all “By the way - I like your outfit.”

Bruce, who’s been trying not to grind his cock against the sofa cushions due to the warm hand on his thigh, squeezing him absent-mindedly when Clark’s making a point, goes “hmmm.”

“I just think - I mean, I’m not an expert on these matters, but aren’t you supposed to wear something tiny underneath a dress like this?”

“Tiny?”

“Yes. Not that your underwear isn’t lovely, but I think it lacks a certain - a certain appeal.”

Bruce hums again, then goes on to explain why he’s wearing cotton briefs (they’re best for your skin etc etc). Clark isn’t listening. He’s feeling Bruce up (politely). “That’s lovely, sunshine, but I think it really doesn’t do the look any favours. I think you should better take them off.”

“???” Bruce says, but too late.

rip (hehe) Bruce’s underwear. Torn to shreds to reveal his gorgeous ass.

What I’m getting at is that Bruce in his thotty, thotty outfit is getting tongue-fucked, shaking to pieces on the sofa while the TV is still on.

And Clark, the bastard, will stop out of the blue, pull back, flip that skirt back down as if the fact that one of Bruce’s legs is on the floor, his thighs spread widely and kiss-wet where the skirt is riding up is in any way subtle. Bruce, shaking and needy, has to listen to Clark hold a conversation, his own face pressed into the cushions, hole hot and needy, clenching on nothing as he prays for whoever wandered in to just leave so Clark and his wet chin can get back to work.

Clark, contrary to popular belief, isn’t an asshole. He’s simply polite enough to stop his activities and exchange a few kind words. That’s very nice, actually. And when he notices that Bruce is very needy and very unhappy with that turn of events, he slips his hand back underneath that ridiculous excuse of a skirt and pushes a few fingers into him to make him happy.

Bruce, hole suddenly stuffed, is keening into the cushions.

“Are you alright, Darlin’?”, Clark asks, gently fucking three thick fingers into his hole.

The other person is nice enough to leave shortly after and Bruce is finally, finally getting a proper fucking. Alien twin cocks stuffing him to the brim, Clark and his super stamina fucking him languidly into the cushions. Very hard thrusts, but slow. It’s brain-melting, honestly.

And speaking of brain-melting. Clark at some point realises that he hasn’t seen Bruce’s face properly yet, so he flips him and the dress has a boob window where the crest of el would be. Just. Slick bouncy pecs, nipples threatening to slip past the hem of the window.

At that point, Clark loses the friendly-languid pace. And the sight of Bruce, flushed and panting, with his puffy pink nipples (Clark had to tease them and make sure they’d slip into the window for easier access) and his skirt fluttering now and then, hinting at his cock - that’s just a lot. That’s understandable.

After all that teasing, Bruce comes relatively quickly, and that display (moaning, splattering his cute dress, tightening around Clark etc) sends Clark over the edge as well.

But honestly? In that display? Once isn’t cutting it.

Maybe Clark just goes straight back to teasing. Or, more likely, he’ll be all “thank you so much, sweetheart, that was fun :)”, kiss him, flip his dress back down and leave, only to return two hours later and find Bruce in the same position he was in originally(=as Clark left him). Only now he’s fucked out, languid, drowsy, one leg still hanging over the edge of the sofa so the curve of his ass is almost visible, still a little kiss-slick and definitely well-fucked, judging by the slight bruises.

Clark goes “ah, well, don’t mind if I do” & walks up to do the same exact thing all over again. Hand on Bruce’s thigh, fingers brushing his slick hole right from the start this time, polite conversation. & that’s how Bruce gets eaten out (again) and fucked (again).

In conclusion: dresses + thigh highs + feigned nonchalance…terribly effective combination

(babes it’s 1:41…thank you so much for your horny late night thoughts…they’re an endless delight…I hope you enjoyed this nastiness in return 💝💝

I will also proofread this tomorrow and apologise for any sleep-deprived weirdness in spelling or grammar…thank u…)

#superbat #drabble #filth #oh wait and!!#aquabat #? is that the name?!

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selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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dukedrakes · 5 years ago

Text

Finally

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Lily)

Rating: PG-13 (some cursing)

Words: 2.3K

Summary: Lily and Ethan finally talk about ‘us’.

This was requested by a beautiful anon who wanted to see my take on what happens when Ethan and MC finally decide to screw ethics and let themselves be together – I’m so sorry it’s taken so long; life hasn’t been kind. Thank you so much for the request and please send me any prompts if you like!

P.S I really miss Ethan.

Don’t forget to tell me what you think, Reblog and Like! Enjoy!

Find my other work here.

Taglist: @emceesynonymroll @butindeed @saivilo @ibldw-main@drakeswalkers @maxwellshippo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @drakewalkerwhipped @cora-nova @kayden-vescovi @katedrakeohd @ladyangel70 @drakesensworld @ccolz88-blog @i-miss-trr @lady-kato @nazario-sayeed @perriewinklenerdie @furiouscloddonutpeanut @choicesyouplayandmore @drakewalker04 @innerpostmentality @carreraleigh

(I curated the tag list by adding people who wanted to be tagged + people who interacted with any of my posts of or about my fics and/or are mutuals/friends, so if you’d like to be added or removed, let me know!)

Lily sat in the locker room bench; legs crossed with a medical textbook in front of her. She had an apple in her hand which she ate she scanned through the passages filled with medical jargon that might help her with treating one her patients. It was unusually quiet in the locker room, no doors slammed or chatter from the other residents. But Lily welcomed the serenity, it gave her the opportunity to focus and concentrate on the words in front of her.

However, she couldn’t. For a certain fellow member of the Diagnostics Team was consuming her thoughts instead.

It had been exactly 4 months and 17 days since she’d been offered the position that everyone had been vying over. And it had also been exactly 4 months and 17 days since whatever was between herself and Dr. Ethan Ramsey had ended. In truth, she wasn’t expecting it to hurt as much as it did. Even though she’d known that night before was going to be their last now that Ethan had been reinstated. She thought she had prepared enough emotionally. That their night together would’ve satisfied her enough to let him go. But she was wrong. Incredibly wrong.

She hadn’t expected to be offered the position on the Diagnostics Team, she was grateful to be even given a second chance at Edenbrook. She definitely hadn’t anticipated being promoted. And certainly not to the very team where the man running it was one she’d slept with twice and had an undeniable connection with.

She knew ending whatever it was between them was the right thing to do. She knew that. But it was still hard. Especially when she saw Ethan every day, had to work with him on patients, confer with him on treatment plans – all the while pretending that everything was fine when in reality, she wanted nothing more than to take his hand in hers and just touch him.

That was the thing that got her the most. Not being able to just touch him. Hold his hand. Trace her fingers up his arm. Or run her fingers across the stubble on her jaw – her favourite thing to do. She could handle not kissing him – she wanted to do that too – but to be starved of his touch was the hardest. There were times where Ethan’s hand would graze hers as he pointed to something on a chart, or his arm would brush against hers as he passed her, and the energy of that contact travelled through her entire being, giving her goosebumps and making her stomach flip. It was kind of like that feeling you get when you accidentally touch the person you’ve been crushing on, but it was all backwards because Lily had already been with Ethan.

Lily sighed and closed her textbook and tossed her apple core in the bin. She put her head in her hands. She didn’t know what to do. She’d been pretending and walking on eggshells around Ethan for months now. She was tired. And she didn’t know how long she could keep this up. It was even more of a stab in the heart when she saw Ethan being so irrevocably and completely normal around her. Like nothing had changed. Like nothing had even happened between them. It was like Lily had imagined the whole thing and was holding onto nothing but a fantasy.

She stood up and put the textbook in her locker. With her break over and no progress on a plan for her patient, she straightened her classic white doctor jacket in the mirror, before leaving the locker room. She walked down the hallways, making her way to Ethan’s office, her feet knowing the familiar route without even thinking about it. She needed advice on her patient, and she was clearly getting nowhere by herself. She had no choice but to talk to Ethan. No matter how much she didn’t want to. It was much easier to pretend when she wasn’t near him.

It wasn’t long before she was in front of his office door. The dark blue nameplate that read “Dr. Ethan Ramsey” a contrast to the light wood of the door. He might not even be in his office. She hoped he wouldn’t be. But there was also a part of her that wanted to see him. Because this was all she got now. She had to take what she could get. Until she eventually got over him. If she ever did.

Lily took a deep breath and raised her slightly trembling hand to the wood of the door. She stood there for a few seconds that felt more like hours, contemplating whether to even bother Ethan with this, he’s no doubt busy and she was more than capable of figuring this out herself once she forced herself to concentrate. She didn’t want to rely on Ethan. She didn’t want to be that girl.

With a clenched hand and her fingernails digging into her palm, she mumbled. “Just knock, you dumbass.”

“Lily?”

Lily whipped her head to the side and saw him. Ethan. He was standing there with a clipboard in hand, looking as handsome as ever in his classic blue shirt and tie under his Edenbrook coat. Lily took in breath both from the sight of him and the realisation that he’d seen her in front of his door, just standing there with her hand poised to knock.

“Ethan. I mean. Dr. Ramsey. Hi.” Lily stuttered as she jumped back and quickly retracted her and held it behind her back.

Ethan cleared his throat. “Dr. Murphy.”

There was a beat of silence between them where both weren’t sure what to say to each other. This interaction felt different somehow. Every time they’d spoken there was this level of distance and professionalism that they maintain to ensure that neither of them got too close – that there was a boundary between them. But this time Ethan had caught Lily in this private moment with herself, it almost felt like an intrusion.

Lily took a breath. “Um, how long have you been standing there?”

Ethan shook his head. “Not long.”

He was lying. Lily could always tell.

“I need to talk to you about a patient.” She asked tentatively.

Ethan nodded and strode to his door to unlock it, he opened it and stood to the side to let Lily in first. Lily mumbled a ‘thanks’ as she walked into the office. Ethan followed as he went behind the desk, put his clipboard down and began to file the papers in the meticulously organised filing cabinet.

Lily stood at the edge of the scene in front of her. She watched him move effortlessly, the awkwardness in the air around them.

“Well? What is it?” Ethan asked. “I’ve got a meeting with Banerji in 10 minutes.”

Lily blinked at his bristled tone. “I need some help with figuring out the best course of action with a patient who’s got some contradicting issues.”

“Can’t you do that yourself? You’re more than capable, Li— Dr. Murphy.” Ethan huffed.

Lily frowned. “Excuse me for disturbing you. I just wanted to treat the patient correctly.”

Ethan sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“So, what did you mean?” Lily crossed her arms.

“I meant, you’re a good doctor, Lily.” Ethan replied.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t need help every now and then.” Lily retorted.

Ethan ran his hand through his tousled hair. “I haven’t got time for this right now.”

“Then make time!” Lily exclaimed with a spark of anger.

Lily and Ethan looked at each other, both surprised by her outburst. Ethan was often hard to read, but this time, his eyes betrayed him completely. “Why do you keep pushing me away?” Lily whispered.

Ethan closed his eyes and hung his head. “Don’t do this, Lily.”

“Just answer the question, Ethan.” Lily said sternly.

“You know exactly why.” Ethan replied sharply.

“No, I don’t think I do. Maybe you can explain it to me in a way that I understand.” Lily patronised.

“Stop acting like a child, we’re adults, Lily.” Ethan rolled his eyes.

“Says the man who can’t deal with and express his emotions.” Lily knew the words were harsh and unfair, but she was angry. Months of frustration and hurt that have been bottled up were finally coming out. “You’ve barely looked at me properly in months. It’s like everything that happened didn’t even matter to you.”

“You know damn well that’s not true.” Ethan flared.

“Do I?” Lily challenged. “So, answer my question, Ethan.”

“You think it’s just so easy, don’t you?” Ethan replied, acid on his tongue with every word as he stepped towards her. “Have you even considered the ethnical and workplace consequences of us? There are patients to consider, the team, HR, we can’t just say ‘fuck it’ and do what we want, Lily. There are bigger issues here than me and you.”

“I’m not some petulant child that doesn’t understand consequences, Ethan. But I know when to take a risk for something that’s important to me.” Lily replied.

They were almost chest to chest now, and Lily has to crane her neck to look at Ethan.

“I’m not a risk-taker. You know that.”

“So, I guess that translates into; ‘You’re not worth the risk.’ Got it.” Lily smiled with contempt. “Guess I have my answer.”

Lily stepped back and began to turn away from Ethan, but he reached for her arm and pulled her back. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

Lily raised her voice, exasperated and said; “Then what are you saying, Ethan!? Stop speaking in riddles and just fucking tell me! I’m so fucking tired of tiptoeing around you and us. I know you saw me standing outside your door for longer than you said, I can’t even talk to you anymore without getting this awful dread in the pit of my stomach that I hate because I shouldn’t feel like that around the person that I—”

“I’m scared, okay?!” Ethan exclaimed. Silence enveloped them, the only sound was Lily and Ethan’s breaths, heavy from the argument. Ethan cupped Lily’s cheeks as he said; “I want you more than anything, Lily. But I’m scared of what could happen if we…” He shook his head.

Lily blinked at him. Before she let out a breath of disbelief mixed with relief and dare-she-say, love? And put her hands over his, rubbing her thumbs over the back of his hand. Finally. “If we what, Ethan?”

Ethan took in a breath. “If we pursue this, what would happen when everyone finds out? I don’t want them thinking negative things, especially about you.”

Lily shook her head. “I don’t care about anyone else. And you shouldn’t either. You’re Ethan fucking Ramsey for god’s cake.” Lily smiled. “I care about you. Anyone that knows me knows the truth.”

“And what if…if this doesn’t work?” Ethan asked. “What would we do then? How would it affect our work?”

“But what if it does work?” Lily whispered.

Ethan shook his head, pulling away from Lily and turning his back, running a hand through his hair again. “I don’t know, Lily. I don’t know I can do this.”

Ethan stood with his hands on his hips and his head to the ceiling, his eyes closed. Lily walked behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, her forehead resting on his back. She couldn’t deny that she felt him relax under her touch. And Ethan couldn’t either.

Lily moved to hold his right arm with both hands, before moving one to hold his hand. His fingers instinctively interlaced with hers. “What if we…what if we come up with a plan?” Lily looked up at him.

“What kind of plan?” Ethan asked, looking down at her by his side.

“A plan to try this. Try us. See where it goes. But we’ll keep it a secret, so, we can see if we like us. Then we’ll talk to Banerji about this if we really do. He’ll understand. You’re like a son to him. And then if it’s okay, we’ll tell some people – my friends, but still keep it quiet so it doesn’t impact the workplace.” Lily suggested, her thumb rubbing his hand again like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“And if it’s not okay? What if Banerji says no?” Ethan asked.

“Then we figure something out. I move from Edenbrook, maybe.” Lily replied with a small shrug.

“I can’t make you do that.” Ethan shook his head in disapproval.

Lily leaned her head on his arm. “But I would, for you. For us.”

“Us...” Ethan whispered.

“What do you think?” Lily asked with a small voice. “Can we do that? Do you want to?”

“It’s going to be hard.” Ethan said.

“I know.”

“But I want to. God knows I want to more than anything.” Ethan sighed like a weight was lifted off his shoulders and turned so he could take both of Lily’s hands. “I can’t bear another day without you.”

Lily didn’t know who moved in first. But their lips finally connected, and both of them collapsed into the kiss. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck as Ethan’s arms went around her middle, holding her there before lifting her to his height. Lily wrapped her legs around him and smiled into the kiss, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. The world stopped around them. They both starved for this kiss and it was finally happening, and it was as if all the pieces of the world’s hardest puzzle fell into place.

When they finally broke away, they rested their foreheads together. Smiling and looking into each other’s eyes. Ethan was still holding her effortlessly as Lily hugged him tightly, burying her head into the crook of his neck as his stubble tickled her skin. Ethan held her just as tightly as he did the same, his eyes shutting as he breathed in the smell of her skin and the familiar smell of her cocoa butter shampoo.

Lily pressed a light kiss to Ethan’s neck. “I missed you.”

Ethan smiled into her skin. “I missed you more.”

I hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought!

If you have any requests, please send them in! It might take me some time to get to (I have a list of fics I want to write) but I would love to see them!

Remember to Reblog and Like!

#playchoices #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey fic #open heart #larissa's fics #larissa's drabbles #finally #playchoices fic #choices fic #playchoices one shot #choices one shot #pixelberry #choices #choices: stories you play #open heart fic

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ober-affen-geil · 5 years ago

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Please share all of the things about paper? I know nothing of anything you listed and now am curious and listening to someone who's passionate about something talk about it is honestly my favorite thing. What is deacidification and what consequences has it wrought? What qualities does onionskin paper possess and are you for or against it? Why are basic office supplies the devil and what, then, is your preference? WHAT IS THE GREAT PULP PAPER SWITCH?! I'm dying to know

Anon. You. You are my favorite.

Ok *cracks knuckles* important context. I am an archivist, I work with paper whose creation dates from anywhere to several hundred years ago to several decades ago. Our main goal in archives is long term preservation; basically make stuff last as long as possible as-is.

Now, all of the stuff I mentioned in my tags on the post anon is asking about sort of tie together, so let me sing you the song of the archives.

tl;dr Office supplies are the devil and so is onionskin paper, paper used to be better and then it got worse, and humans tried to fix the bad paper by throwing chemicals at it.

Let’s start at the top. Idk how many of you did or had a paper making demonstration at some point in their youth, I did but I realize my experiences are not universal. Basically, paper is made by turning a material into pulp (exactly what it sounds like) and adding water and a sizing agent to make it a slurry (a very gross looking soup consistency).

- A sizing agent is something that is used so that ink doesn’t “feather” when it touches the page. An unsized piece of paper will act like a paper towel with liquid. Not ideal for writing on. Sizing will become important later -

The slurry is then captured in a frame and the water is more or less squeezed out of it until you’re left with soggy pulp that you dry out and presto! Paper. Here’s a quick video showing the process.

Now. The first material that was used for paper was literally cotton rags. They were shredded and pulped and then made into paper. It’s called cotton rag paper and it was the main paper supply until the early-mid 1800s. It has a completely different feel to it than the paper we use today, it feels more like cloth. Paper money is made from something like it because it’s a lot more durable.

- Fun fact, “parchment”, which predated cotton rag paper, is not actually “paper” as we think of it. Parchment very specifically refers to a finely cured animal skin that was written on. Vellum is the same thing except finer, usually calfskin where regular parchment is sheepskin. -

Problem was, with the advent of movable type and higher literacy rates, the need for paper was steadily increasing. And cotton rags just weren’t cutting it. So manufacturers started looking for a more plentiful source. And they found trees!

Turns out wood pulp makes an excellent paper, toss in a little bleach and it works great! So around about the 1860s, most newspapers had switched over to wood pulp paper instead of cotton rag paper. And everything was looking up!

BUT.

Here’s the thing about wood pulp. It has a naturally occurring chemical called “lignin”, which is hella acidic. Not like burn-your-fingers acidic, but like over-time-this-material-will-chemically-eat-itself acidic. Which started to be a problem a couple decades after wood pulp paper started to be mass-produced.

The good news is, what they quickly figured out was if they added a basic solution (who remembers their high school chemistry?) in the initial sizing agent it would neutralize the natural acidity in the pulp and the paper would last a lot longer.

But this did fuck all to help the paper that had already been made and was quickly becoming very fragile. Whatever can we do?!

Well, some genius (I use that term as sarcastically as possible) got the idea that maybe we could do the same thing - add a basic solution to acidic paper - to paper that had ALREADY been made! Brilliant! The process was called “deacidification” and it was very popular in the 1970s. The idea was to basically give at risk paper a “bath” and it would solve the problem. Here’s a video about it made by American higher ups that is absolutely hysterical imo.

Well, the university where I work had its own deacidification lab, which was fine. Deacidification does work, when done properly and when very specific criteria is met by the paper being treated. When that’s not what happens….it gets messy. The main problem with the deacidification process at my university is that it wasn’t being run by people who really knew what they were doing. Because what they understood about what needed to be done and the WHY behind what they were supposed to be doing were two different things.

Long story short they hella botched the deacidification process, and now not only does a large part of several of our more highly used collections have a lovely gross chemical residue all over it, they also managed to “deacidify” a good chunk of letters that were from the 1700s. AKA they were on cotton rag paper. AKA they were not actually acidic to begin with. I may be bitter.

Anyway. Speaking of types of paper, let’s talk about oinion skin. My sworn enemy. Onion skin paper was used for copying purposes when carbon copies were a thing, otherwise known as the early part of the 1900s up until when copy machines became a thing in the middle-late part. It’s still used if you’re filling out something with a “copy” attached to it, usually yellow, that you get to keep.

It’s called “onion skin” because that’s kind of what it looks and feels like; it’s thin like tissue paper but it’s sized in something that makes it much more durable. Easier to make multiple copies at once on a typewriter by stacking several sheets together. Great! Except it’s the fucking cockroach of paper.

It just fucking LIES there and is fragile enough that you can’t really do too much with it, but whoever sold their soul to make it less destructible than it should be got their money’s worth because it won’t die. It just. Doesn’t age the same way regular paper from the same time frame does and it doesn’t fucking go away.

But GOD HELP YOU if there’s a paper clip attached because you ain’t getting that sucker off without tearing the page short of an intervention by a surgical professional and the pope himself.

And do you know why? BECAUSE OFFICE SUPPLIES ARE THE LITERAL WORST.

I’m talking staples, paper clips, tape, sticky notes, glue sticks, binders, stick-on labels, et fucking cetera. It comes down to two things, metal and adhesive, and the fact that neither of those two things age very gracefully.

You know what’s fun? Clicking a stapler together. Very satisfying, punching that thing through the paper you just finished and are ready to turn in. You know what’s NOT fun? Prying rusty staples out of a stack of 50 year old papers with your fingers because they’ve rotted themselves into it and the tool you have for it won’t work. Same for fucking paper clips, because rusty metal eats into paper. Seriously, there will be a hole left when you finally pry it out. Not to mention rust stains.

And ADHESIVE oh MAN. The thing is, over time it dries out. And rots. So depending what you’re looking at, it could be a sticky, half-melted pile of goo that doesn’t want to stay where it was, it could be straight up gone with a yellow stain to mark where it was, or it could have eaten into the paper it was stuck to and left a hole. Any way you slice it, it ain’t doing it’s job any more. Which is why traditional scrapbooks are usually an utter shit show.

But anyway, that’s that on that. If you have MORE questions, I am very, very happy to rant or find pictures of horror stories. There are a lot!

#ask #personal #rant #archives #old stuff #i really do love my job i swear #a riley special

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margridarnauds · 4 years ago

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ronan & olympe for the ship opinions? (also please let your previous anon know that they're the funniest person in the world and i love them)

So…interesting thing, there. And something I’ve been increasingly thinking about as I think back on my last few years of fandom, my evolving feelings towards M/F shipping, and how fandom, as a whole, treats M/F ships. I’m going to apologize in advance for the length since I KNOW you didn’t sign on for 1.5k words of reminiscence.

Also: BEAGLE ANON, YOU’RE THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.

When I first started out with 1789, in about 2015 or so, I was actually pro-Ronan/Olympe. Like, I wanted NOTHING more than fix-it fics where they retired to the country and had babies. I listened to La Guerre Pour se Plaire for HOURS, getting caught in the gothic atmosphere and the passionate, conflicted lyrics. But, at the time, the overall fandom environment was…well. Not conducive to it. And I was young, and I wasn’t strong in my opinions yet, so I stood back and kept it to myself. I think that might be part of why I ended up backing away from 1789 when I did. Yeah, I liked it, but I didn’t have a strong sense of community, and most of the attention, at that time, was in the Mozart, L’Opera fandom, and I wasn’t a major picture there. I attended streams, yeah, but I wasn’t a CONTENT creator, and it was easy for me to fade into the background, I think. Maybe because I was too afraid to be a content creator, back then, because that would involve possibly expressing my own opinions. I accepted that Ronan/Olympe was No bad, terrible, awful based on that desire to fit in, because it was so much EASIER. Just like I accepted that French 1789 was a disaster, that MOR was much better, and that, really, it wasn’t worth the effort. Just an inferior musical. (The problem, of course, was that I NEVER liked MOR as well as I liked 1789. Maybe it’s better put together, but I don’t ENJOY it as much, and imo it drags quite a bit at a few places, a problem shared by its German counterpart.)

I came back to 1789 around…2017, with the European Musicals Streaming event, with the Takarazuka one totally stealing my heart, specifically Lazare/Ronan. Suddenly, I was IN, and I was creating content. Yeah, most of the French musicals fandom didn’t give a flying fuck that I was creating content, with most of my support coming from my friends and Takarazuka fans, but I was CREATING CONTENT, for the first time since I joined fandom. I was finally starting to figure out my way in fandom, finally starting to get noticed. In 2018……..for reasons I won’t give out, at least publicly, there was a massive rift in the old French musicals fandom, a lot of bridges got burned, and, naturally, I was far enough from the fire. But this DID give me a shot at carving out my own 1789 experience, for once, without them hanging over my shoulder. I do think that the reason why the 1789 fandom’s as strong as it is now is because of that rift, because it left a sort of power vacuum. Suddenly, there was a space for other French musicals, and we didn’t have to worry about the constant comparison to MOR. BUT. Keep in mind. 2-3 years ago, the overwhelming consensus on Ronan was pure, unadulterated hatred. There were a few Ronan content creators in an already small pool, but the general consensus was that Lazare was better in every way and Ronan was a terrible protagonist. (I know fully well that some old members of the French musicals fandom, to this day, won’t engage with Ronan content. At all. And I can say this as openly as I do because I KNOW they don’t follow me.) As a Peyronan shipper, I was in an awkward place, especially as time went on and I realized that I actually did like the little shit. One half of my OTP was absolutely beloved, one half was hated, and, while there was definitely some content on the Tumblr side of things (I definitely did NOT single-handedly invent the ship out of thin air, I don’t take credit for it, and I’m grateful to everyone who kind of. Took me in), the fan fiction side of things still tended to lean Ronan/Olympe. If, today, it seems like the fandom consensus is Ronan/Lazare, that’s because I fought tooth and nail to get my own place in the fandom.

I…suppose you could say that I justified my place in the fandom by tossing Ronan/Olympe under the bus. It was easier, that way. It meant that I could forge alliances with anyone who wanted Solène/Olympe instead, though I was still on dangerous ground since I still wanted precious Lazare with Ronan, and, of course, the show would be better without Ronan. (You’ll note that the VERY FIRST fic I ever published on AO3 was Solène/Olympe. Why? Because I knew it would be a safe option to test the waters. That. And I really did just write it the night before my GRE.) But, at least I wasn’t a Ronan/Olympe shipper, right? I was safely gay. (Biphobia, thy name is fandom.) When I talked about Ronan, I talked about him as gay, I talked shit about Ronan/Olympe whenever I had the chance. All properly tagged, of course, in the proper channels. I’ve never been the sort to actively hurt someone who DID ship it, I just took pains to not associate myself with the Icky Het Ship. When I talked about Ronan, I talked about him as GAY, VERY GAY, not a hint of bisexuality to him. Because if he was bi, that might mean that Ronan/Olympe had a leg to stand on, you see? You’ll note that, to this day, I almost never acknowledge Ronan/Olympe as a thing that HAPPENED in any given fic continuities, because it was so much easier if he simply fell into Lazare’s arms instead. Wiping that little spot clean. And. Well. Here I am. About 5 years after I first got into 1789. And, looking back, I wonder if it was REALLY that bad, or if I just nodded my head because it was easy at the time, since it’s only been in the last year that I really, really began to develop my own spine. (Honestly, props to Marie Antoinette the Musical and, specifically, Morléans as a ship for that one.) For the most part, I’m proud of how far the fandom’s come in the last five years, and I’m proud of the work that I, individually, have done to help get it there, whether it was streams, gifs, or fanfics. But sometimes, I do worry that anyone coming in who ships Ronan/Olympe, like I used to…might feel out of place, and I never want to treat them like I was treated back in the day.

Do I ship it? Not really. That ship’s sailed for me (I didn’t mean to make that a pun but here we are). I’m fairly firmly Lazare/Ronan and Solène/Olympe (though I’m not as firmly pro-the latter as the former, simply because I REALLY don’t have as much material to go off of there.) Not just because of the old pressure, but just because…looking at it in, say, the French cast…there’s really no chemistry there. At all. The Takarazuka Olympe looks mildly terrified to be in Ronan’s presence at any given moment. I DO actually kind of like it in the Toho production, especially with Teppei Koike and Sayaka Kanda, since the two of them fit together SO naturally and their voices are like two pieces of the same puzzle, but I’m not sure it’s something I’d particularly want to create content for. In fact, when I tried to write Ronan/Lazare/Olympe as an OT3, my HARDEST dynamic to write and justify was Ronan/Olympe. I do think that “La Guerre Pour se Plaire” is a stunning song, musically, it’s probably one of my favorite French musical songs. I do kind of tend to see Ronan as gay, simply because Takarazuka Ronan in particular is………..forceful, to the point that I can see him forcing himself to believe he’s in love with Olympe in order to distract himself from Lazare. I feel like the French cast, while arguably realistic in it showing Ronan/Olympe’s relationship having problems, also shows a couple that, really, beyond the physical attraction, couldn’t have made it work had both of them survived. And I feel like fandom, back in the day, was far too willing to take Olympe’s side over Ronan’s in that dispute, ignoring how Olympe’s own relationship to her side of the conflict is…kind of toxic to her. And while Ronan went about it in an ass-backward way (“I will kill your friends and family! To remind you of my love!”)……..he did make some Points. And Toho Ronan/Olympe, particularly Teppei/Sayaka, are more two kids in love who just want to give it a shot. (Kato Kazuki/Nene Yumesaki were more….forceful, manly hero/prim and proper governess with a spine of steel. Which is OKAY, but not really personally as interesting to me.) I do give the Toho credit for really, really making me see that, okay, it might not be for me, but it CAN work on stage. Mostly. (I still hate that forced kiss.)

I will say that there are times where I find myself writing Lazare rather similarly to Olympe in terms of him going through the same feelings of guilt, shame, and duty, and I’m just like “....hm. What have I really changed? Did I just substitute Lazare’s face for Olympe because it was easier? Or copied the existing dynamic and pasted a dude’s face over Olympe’s?” (I do think that there are definitely DIFFERENCES to Olympe VS Lazare, it’s just...eerie in those individual moments.) I do think, at the end of the day, the story of forbidden love during the French Revolution....we’ve HAD it before, in the La Revolution Française musical, and in my opinion it does work best as a queer narrative. And, unfortunately, Ronan/Olympe just...isn’t developed particularly well enough on stage to justify it as an EPIC ROMANCE.

Overall, I think that I’m fairly settled in my ways at this point, but I also don’t hate it to the extent that I once did. It’ll never be my favorite, I can’t really see them getting married and having kids, and, frankly, the relationship just isn’t as interesting to me as the alternatives since we’ve SEEN it played out on screen, and I can’t really see myself making content for it or really engaging with it in any meaningful way outside of reblogging gifsets/reading fics, but like. I don’t HATE it anymore. I’m neutral to its existence. And, when it comes down to it, I have read fic/engaged in content for it, because, at this point, it’s STILL part of my favorite musical. If I could have done things differently….maybe I would have stayed with it more, for longer. Maybe I’d have written that happy country babyfic (you know. In 18th century France. Where raising babies in the country was so painless). Maybe I’d have gone over to Peyronan earlier and not looked back. Maybe I would have written Ronan more consciously as a bisexual man instead of a gay man. Who knows? Maybe I’m just a tired bitch these days and so am hyper-dissecting everything. But I definitely never want anyone coming into the fandom to think there isn’t a place for them just because they ship Ronan/Olympe.

#vierschanzentournee

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sharp-teeth-and-archived · 4 years ago

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐀 𝐑𝐏 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat. Long post!

MUN NAME: Bambi / Eden AGE: 18 CONTACT: IM, Ask, Discord (search discord up on my blog)

CHARACTER(S): a shit ton

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Dragon Age, rdr2, assassin’s creed, star wars (sorta??)

FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: Modern verse, r.dr2, da, skyrim (haven’t touched my bio for it for a while so I may have to touch it up a bit) and that’s pretty much it for any au verse. They’re just crossover verses.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN ( my brand ) / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY (my 2nd brand) / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA / ETC. ( I’m open to most things, it just depends on plot & muse )

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER (it happens but I tend to not favor it) / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ PARA / NOVELLA. / ALL

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO / OCCASIONALLY - only by Mutuals?: YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. / ALL

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ WEEKS / MONTHS / YEARS. / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY INTERACTING WITH: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM (really depends on if you have oen in mind and we discussed it, it’s just not posted) / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. ( varies, but overall I tend to post more ooc? )

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: im me or talk to me over discord

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Not too much? I’d like for there to be a plot in mind, but I can understand if that’s not the case. I’ve had instances where I want to interact with a character, but have absolutely no idea in mind. Usually sendign in an ask meme can help in that regard.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I strive to not be one-sided myself, but I do have instances where I can’t think of anything. I’m not sure? Maybe ask the other person if they’re into it or if something else is at play (dealign with real life problems and it just affects their mood voerall).

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: I always try to give ideas of my own if I have any. Coming to a equally agreed, general idea is fine. I’ve had instances where I was on both sides of this, but I always try to add input and be equal with the other person.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - AND WHY?: Sometimes I don’t notice it, but sometimes I do. Generally, I like to know, but I understand if someone doesn’t wan tto reach out. Just at least try to let me know and we’re fine.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: It depends really. Sometimes I just don’t have muse for a thread, or an instance where I have dropped a muse entirely. Sometimes it can be timing, but that’s rarely the issue. Most of the time it’s just I can’t think of anything and I feel like it hasn’t really gone anywhere? I have stuff in my queue for a while, so soemtimes it appears that way until it’s posted and I’m sorry about that.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. ( I do have instances where I was forgetful and I haven’t told my partner int he apst adn I’m sorry about that. )

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO. - AND WHY?: I don’t need to be tlaked every day, but stronger friendships ( ooc & ic ) are formed when I talk to a person. It doesn’t need to be often, but it helps me understand your chaarcter and your approach. With that, I can come up with ideas and understand you rmuse more. I understand if people aren’t fond of ooc chatting, that’s completely understandable to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: Criticsm is a good way to grow. Criticsm is different from completely bashing a perosn’s portrayal and not giving any pointers (ex: “your portrayal sucks.”). Or even for a person. If you feel like I am portraying something wrong, like depression or something similar, let me know. If you feel like Lydia’s adhd isn’t properly portrayed, let me know.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: All of my muses are written and taken an interest in for different reasons, sometimes I don’t even know why I decided to write them. I roleplay because I love exploring different characters and dyanamics and it’s easier for me to write like this than forming my own story. But a goal in mind? Be a good rp partner I guess? Or at least try to make things interesting and try my best to portray my characters correctly or in an intruiging manner.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: Varies on muse. I have different plots in my wishlist tag: ( wishlist ).

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: Potential triggering content ahead. Rape, noncon, abuse, incest, drug use -not alcohol- ( lyrium I can write fine, it’s just the realistic stuff I can’t do. ), inappropiate under age stuff. Themes where I write a stalker. Sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and racism will never be mentioned by any of my characters. I won’t write smut probably ever, so themes with that I tend to not write. Very likely more, I just can’t think of anything. Within dragon age, I do have a characetr ( Sera ) who will refer to elves as elfy-elves and be pretty anti-elf, which can be triggering to others. Also, animal abuse or gore of any kind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: I can’t work with starters that don’t really have any dialogue (handing something over with nothing vocally said is fine, but when someone is just sitting there, that’s harder to work with unless somethign is plotted). Generally, I like outside circumstances to be explained (locaiton, where in a game/setting this might be occuring, etc), I really like when dialogue is added and body landguage is explained/noted.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: Honestly? it varies. I tend to really be into deep, complex characters or characters that appear can be sterred in that direction with more added. Bubbly, energetic characters, fighters (typically female). Quick witted or flirty characters & mysterious types.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: I hate using the term but mary-sue/gary-sue. I hate saying that, but if a character has no flaws, I won’t be interested. Or characters that seem to just be placed there with no development.

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I try to add as much effort, or at least a lot of effort, in replies & interaction. I am very open-minded and when I get passionate about soemthing, you can really tell. I am easy-going, so feel free to tell me if you want to drop a thread or have a concern. I tend to work well of other’s people’s ideas, usually able to add my own.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I am slow and my queue tends to be slow since I try not to overhwelm myself and stress myself out to the heavens. I try to reach out, but sometimes I just can’t think of anything to say. My muse can be very flickle at times, so replies to stuff can vary. My msue tends to be more for ask memes than replies at times.

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN, FADE TO BLACK?: YES / NO.

WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?:

ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: all of it

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. ( I love ships, but I am selective with it and require chemistry -unless I know your muse and you occ super, super well-. It’s nice but it isn’t he full focus of this blog. I want to explore my characters and witness other people’s characters and their development. )

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP ( Jacob ) / DUAL-SHIP — MULTIVERSE / SINGLEVERSE.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: Varies on muse, but for my rdr2 characters I’ve been really wanting a sorta of “outside” character where they aren’t directly involved in the gang, but they are in a relationship with oen of their members. Where my muse,w hose in the gang, will tell you rmuse about it and the whole aftermath of everything. Where their partner will understand to an extent, but try to undestand? if that makes sense? I also want enemies to work on a job/project together and deal with that. But this all also varies on muse.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. ( I find it easier to write to assume people knwo each other, but an immediate friendship isn’t required. Like my muse may know yours or hear about yours, but they haven’t directly met you before ).

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: I have a large amount of different muses, but all of my muses all bring something new to the table. Want a guy who seems nice, but can be an asshole with a flick of a dime, who has a secret betrayal plot hidden behind his back? Pick Robert. Want a guy who’s humurous but seems to be hiding under a fake persona? Pick Charley. Want a female assassin who’s very talented anr professional in her work to a fault with her work-alcoholic ways? Pick Evie. Want a sweet and caring character with a heart of gold and will give you advice and comfort? Pick Cassie It depends on the plot, too, but I try my best to add as much to reply to to another. If you ever want more added, tell me! I could give multiple plots, so it’s really hard to put something down.

WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: If someone isn’t interested or outwardly hateful of my muse without a valid reason when starting to interact. Beign enemies is fine, but maybe we could write how it became that way? This really varies, so don’t let this steer you away. Just give me something to work with, brign soemthing to the tbale, and I’m usually fine.

WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, WHAT IS THEIR GOAL?: Varies on muse. Robert: fame/recognition, a legend made out of him. Charley: just to live life happy? He wants to be okay money-wise. Evie: to take down the Templars & help the people of London, not fail and always be successful and outwit her foes. Cassie: everyone around her happy. Sean: His gang to be successful, btu also be sucessful himself, he wants to be admired as well.

WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: Just using the same muses lmao. Robert: Someone who just listens to him and isn’t quick to make fun of him. Charley: If they have a sense of humor and someone he can stand, he’s pretty much fine tbh. Evie: If they can give her any information or aid with her cause. Cassie: How they are feeling. If they let her just listen and seem more open than closed off. Very personality-based. Sean: soemtimes looks, but mostly if they have a similar personality as him.

WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: Evie: devotion, kind spriit, efficiency, loyalty. Robert: willingness and empathy despite having little himself. Charley: Honesty. Cassie: Consistency. Sean: reliability.

WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: generally all of them like books (except Sean), events around them, their interests.

WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: For half of them, anything mundane or boring. Anything that isn’t relating to anything that’s spoken around / surrounds them.

DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: Robert & Charley (more Robert) witnessed a murder, Robert actually doing that act. Cassie: hearing about the violent nature of her father’s death. Sean: the things he went through with the bounty hunters.

WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: A gunshot or anything that could overpower them.

IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: Sean: rich people, Scots for some reason, English people sometimes. When someone disagrees with him on soemthing he is passionate about. Pronouncing and Irish word wrong. O’Driscolls & anyone that’s an enemy of the gang. Evie: Templars, Starrick & Lucy Thorne. People who lie or misled her or others. Injustice. Robert: Someone makign fun of him tbh. Charley: People who don’t plan out anything or are really reckless.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - BEST WAY TO APPROACH THEM?: Talk to them. Initiate a conversation. Pretty much that across the board.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: None of my muses are perfect. Some are worse than others, but generally msot of my muses will listen to you and usually be nice to you if you appraoch them well. All my muses are different from one another, so expect different results / reactions

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED: stole it

TAGGING: steal it and pelase tag me ! I want to see your results

#( ooc )#( psa )#// long post #( this was really fun tbh )

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wetookanoath · 5 years ago

Text

personal struggles, the fate of this and other blogs and apologies.

This year so far has been strange and not good for me and this blog. Some of you know my long history with hate in this fandom and while it’s always nice to hear your kind words, the hate I get is every day worse to the point I had to take off the anonymous option on this blog, my personal, the Library, the writing events and even the damn porn blog.

A few months ago I said I was gonna delete all blogs, and as promised I also deleted my twitter account, passed the instagram account to someone else (who hasn’t done anything with it yet), deleted other b*zzf*ed related blogs I ran, and left others I helped in.

I answered to every and all asks on this blog and the porn blog (most asks now on queue or drafts, waiting to be posted slowly to not spam), finished the event that didn’t went as good as it seemed and passed the administration of the Library to my personal account to never left it die down.

During this time, something happened in my personal life and I found myself in a very dark place I never thought I would go back to after it happened to me many years ago. But it did, and I had to dealt with it all over again, but this time there was a difference, this time I knew were to start and it helped me because I was able to ask for what I needed and get help.

I’m on meds again. I’m not proud of it and it... makes me angry that I’m ashamed to admit it. I’m making less money, lost a person, stopped writing, entered a rehab therapy for two weeks for depression (I didn’t tell anyone but my family, which won me a very long fight with my best friend and two of my best friends online), ended in the hospital last month.

That long period I spent away from this blog, forgetting to answer replies I got e-mails for and the days of check-in and whatnot for the Exchange, god they were so good even with all that mess going on. I watched and read so many things, even if suffered not writing and other physical things. But I felt good, I really did. Which I think it’s why I was happy to get back here, just to find hate on my inbox yet again (from the same person as always, by the way. This woman really is the saddest person on the planet. Yes, it’s about you. I know you are reading this), and I really thought “why do I keep doing this to myself?”

And then weeks ago I finally realized why. And it’s because I like this show so much. I like the pictures and the stories, the chat group I’m in even if sometimes I feel like they don’t like me, and most important, in spite of all the hate we get here, I love the stories I write for this fandom, and my ship. I’ve never wrote this good, gotten the chance to improve and learn better english too.

I love the writer I am in this fandom and I have wrote so much these past few weeks, and all because I started to write shy*n again.

So what do I do?

There are days when I forget this blog exists. It’s been so boring, this hiatus and how things have changed, the lack of content makes things dry and easier to forget. I just forget it exists, but then when I get in, it’s fun when there’s no hate. I find it entertaining to go into my blogs and tag everything properly, organize tag pages and make lists of films based on things, make edits, answer old asks I didn’t have time for before.

Since now that anonymous is off I don’t get any asks, I had have the chance to answer in depth so many things I had left behind before, it’s been fun. Like it used to be, January-July of 2018 came again to remind me of how things were before The Change. I enjoyed preparing this blog for my deperture, and I found myself not wanting to go.

My first thought after that revelation? “People is going to hate on me on anonymous for changing my mind”. Isn’t that fucking sad? That I have to condition everything I do so people won’t hate me on anonymous and say horrible things just because I complain bout things, then calm down and change my mind like any other normal person does on a daily basic... on my own, personal blog?

So, so far, this is what will happen:

The blog reminds, since it’s also kind of an archive for this fandom with how much has been posted that I know it’s resourceful to people for all kinds of things.

Anonymous will perpeturally be off in all my blogs. The Library’s inbox will remain closed.

I’m still going to take my long periods of ignoring this blog, so I’m sorry if you sent me any qs and I don’t answer right away.

It will be on perpetual semi-hiatus, since I will come back once a week to answer things, tag stuff, stock the Library’s queue and the one on this blog.

About the updates, I’m just going to post things I would like to archive myself.

New fanfics/chapters of fics coming every Saturday until I’m done posting everything I wrote these weeks. I’m still writing, so I guess my day of the week to check replies, messages and asks will be on Saturday.

I don’t think I will be around for the new season, not the way I used to. I’m so gonna watch it, but no posts from me anymore. This is a big maybe, since I’m not sure of many things right now, especially with my health as fragile as it is right at the moment.

There’s, so far, 131 original posts on queue. These are: lists that were requested on this blog on such things like all episode Shane called Ryan ‘baby’, personal favorite shyan moments with links (I worked so much in this one, I ended up hating it), etc., edits from many things, included shoots found in old articles and so on, the ongoing ‘fave insta pics’ series of Ryan, Shane, TJ, Sara, Kelsey and the boys in other people’s instagrams, more favorite fanfic edits, and more buzzships edits. Also, a few headcanons, rec lists and solo recs.

Queue will post three posts a day, one original text, one reblog, one original edit. Texts are less than the edits, so when they are over, it will be two edits and one reblog. I will be stocking the queue during my weekly visit, so I don’t know if it will eventually run off original posts or not.

Library reminds what it is, inbox closed until further notice.

Writing Events is over, though. I’m too tired for that. At least for a long break.

This really all depends on my health and how things are once the show is back. I miss the interaction a lot, so having lost the anonymous option it’s really a big bummer for me, and maybe to the people who did like to interact with me and the blog’s content in a positive way via this option. We’ll see.

And finally, I want to apologize not only for the long of this but for my negative reactions months ago. It was wrong, childish at times and out of character. I didn’t realize I was getting bad, and when I did it had already gotten worse. I can now look at all those desperate posts and see how bad I really was at keeping it together and how desperate I was to be okay.

While I still believe I didn’t deserve the harassment I was getting, I should had never given onto it and answer back. I shouldn’t. It was not only bad for me, but to the people who followed/follows this blog and engaged into the negativity too.

I caused that by acting exactly how the hateful people wanted me to, and instead of showing myself as the imperfect human being I am, all people saw was a crying girl asking to be appreciated and loved back. And the reality is that forcing those things to happen won’t make it any better, on the contrary, it makes it worse.

All those times I said, “why does people have to insult me for you to care about me?”, it was because I made it happen. I decided to posts those answers and reply to the hate, and it made people, worried by my answers and the tone of them (yeah, I was pretty suicidal and paranoid, I didn’t realize until recently), send their support. It made it look like that was the case, that I needed to be hurt for people to appreciate me.

But now, I don’t post those things. Had to shut down anonymous asks. And last week I got one ask, just one, of someone saying they love this blog. There was no reason for it, just someone who saw me online and send in their positivity. And it was the best thing in the world, those short words, the best ones.

So yes. My sincere and deepest apologies to everyone, involved or not, for having acted, well, toxic in the past months. Hopefully, it won’t happen again. Meds, no anon and semi-hiatus will make a difference, I hope. And things will be fine.

Thanks for the support, the kindness and the love. And thanks for reading this bible.

Love you,

Nina.

#this is long but i hope you guys read it #specially the apology #your local nerd talking.txt #personal #blog updates

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franeridart · 7 years ago

Note

Hi! Idk if you read fanfic, but would you happen to have any kiribaku fic recs? Or any bnha fic rec?

I’m pretty sure there’s stuff tagged as fic recs on this blog, yes! Nothing particularly new tho, I haven’t had the time to put down a new rec-list in a while ;-;

Anon said:How long does it take you to finish a drawing with and without color?

That honestly depends on a lot of factors - which tools I’m using, how many characters there are in the drawing/if it’s full body or not, how used to drawing the character I am, how big is the canvas, if I already have a clear idea of what I mean to draw or not, how precise I want to be with lines and stuff.

That Yuuto sketch I posted yesterday took me about 40 minutes I think, and over half of it was spent trying to figure out how I was supposed to draw him since it was the first time I drew him - the tools I used are the ones I use when I want to be fast and don’t care about being sloppy. A small random Kirishima bust properly lined and colored could take me five minutes to sketch and line and as many to color on a good day, cause I’ve drawn him so many times by now I don’t even have to think to draw him. Deku, on the other hand, can take me an hour even just to sketch, I can’t seem to grasp how I’m supposed to draw him at all.

Sorry, it really depends on a lot of things, I can’t give a proper answer to this :(

Anon said:Ive been tryin to find ur art of sero carrying baku for like 20 minutes n i cant find it :(

Are you talking about this one? Or this one? There’s also this one I guess...? And maybe this one lol

Anon said:yoooo, hey man, that cat kiribaku thing ya got going on is some 👌👌👌👌👌

HECK THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Has anyone ever considered Hadmie. Hadou x Camie before?? It just seems like it'd be a cute ship to sail with, tbh. That just might be me tho.

I dunno if anyone has before you, but I can’t say I have, sorry! If I gotta ship Nejire with someone after all it’s gonna be Yuyu haha

Anon said:Hey do you do commissions? I really love your art and I'd love to get a commission from you!! (and also I just wanna know if there's yet another thing that I have to save up for XD)

Not right now, sorry! Maybe after I’m done with the zine things!!

Anon said:*runs around like an excited puppy* DAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVE!!!!!!! :D

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Anon said:AHHH i love your ocs so much also Nico looks so cute and i love learning new things about them

AAAHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY G O D!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:KIRI + PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL = THE BEST THING EVER

I’M GLAD WE AGREE ON THAT

Anon said:your oc's literally kill me!! i already love nico, and i think i speak for everyone when i say that we definitely want more of him and luca!! i don't know if it's just me, but I love when the angry, swearing types fall for someone.

SOB thank you so so much for the kind words about my kids ;^;

Anon said:OH MY GOD LUCA IS BACK!!!! YESSSSSSSS FUCKING KILL ME THIS IS A BLESSED DAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. MORE OF YOUR OC'S!!! (only when you want to share of course, I'm just trying to convey my enthusiasm here. not demanding at all ^^)

I think that might happen soon enough, actually!!!! Thank you so much for the interest in them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Are josh and chris still not dating?

Sadly until I’ll sit down to write their story that specific part of it won’t go anywhere :( Chris gotta deal with a bunch of things before he’ll be ready to put a name to what’s between him and Josh 3 one day I’ll let him work through it !!!

Anon said:I'm so paranoid I'm going to repost one of your post by accident but the thing is is I never even repost anything at all but just because I know you don't want them to be I'm so scared that by accident I'm going to have something screenshotted and forget it's yours and like Ugh😂

Well, my name’s written on all my drawing so I doubt you’ll forget it’s my stuff lol to make sure you’re not reposting anything the author doesn’t want reposted you can always just ask before reposting it, tho~

Anon said:I was just scrolling through your OC stuff and I just. Love them so much. Thank you for the babies ❤

GOD THANK YOU ;O;

Anon said:Okay I've never seen your oc's before and Dave is the cutest green boy I love him

AAAAHHHHHH I’M GLAD!!!!!

Anon said:kamijirou getting together? :3 also if there were ever a scenario where jirou would confess first, what do you think she would be thinking?

I actually have half a thing planned for that :0 gimme a while to get around to drawing it!

Anon said:How do you feel imagine kiri’s parents???

Actually since I’m still hoping one day Hori will give us the official versions I try not to think too much about it! I don’t wanna grow attached just to have to give them up once I’ll have the canon versions haha

Anon said:hey quick innocent question ive been following for a long time and saw a lot of your art do you have a thing for feet

Are you asking because I draw a lot of people barefoot? Feet are just easier and faster to draw than shoes, anon

Anon said:I love how you answer asks all at once. It’s nice to see that you’re getting in bulk appreciation

THANKS I honestly just don’t want my blog to be more asks than art, so I let them pile up before answering - it does mean I make people wait a lot for answers tho orz sorry

Anon said:I LOVE YOUR ART

THANK YOU!!!!

Anon said:You've open a sea of possibilities with red pineapple kirishima. You're a legend :prayeremoji:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t call myself that but I’m glad you appreciate him too hahaha

Anon said:i cant help but notice nothings been added to your sero tag in 4 months

That might be because I rarely use single characters tags! Try looking under #bakusquad and #seromina :D

Anon said:Hahaaa hi this is probably really really awkward but I just wanted you to let you know that you're super awesome!! And the fact that your art is something that I can look forward to is absolutely amazing (no pressure tho)!!! So yea, thank you for being cool and creating beautiful art~~ :D ✧✧✧

SOB it’s not awkward at all!!!! thank you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Would you mind adding some more Tokoyami art to your shop? More specifically the pieces where hes hanging out with Kiri, and the Tokoshoji piece :D Im desperate to bury my notebooks in stickers from your shop rn and the bird boy needs more love ❤

AHW I’m sorry anon, but those are definitely too small to be of any use on the shop ;-; if you’re okay with it I could add the last one I posted? I should seriously draw more of him..................

Anon said:That jacket that Kirishima has on...I NEED!

I drew it and that’s still a mood t b h

Anon said:I went so far back in your blog that it kicked me back to the beginning ;-; I was just getting to the D. Greyman stuff too

AW ;-; (..........it’s good tho, the further you go the least worth it my stuff is l m a o)

Anon said:Do you ever draw kiribaku or something else in paper or some kind of sketch book if you do i would love to see them❤(sorry if my english is bad)

I do have some doodles on paper posted on here somewhere? But tbh I rarely draw traditionally anymore unless it’s just random doodles :(

Anon said:Aahhh!!! I really love your kiribaku shit its so cute!!and you draw so goood too literally when i found this ship i instantly found you and you are so perfect in my eyes and your art!!!!! I looooooovvvvvvveeeeee yoooouuuuuu thank you for being here and showing us this stuff!!❤❤❤❤

HECK thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:i adore your art so much and your bakushima comics make me smile a lot! :) you’re one of my favorite artists now dldksjshskdk

tHANK YOU OH MY G OD ;^;

Anon said:Consider this: fantasy Kirishima meeting normal bakugou, thinking that's his Katsuki 😂😂

.........................you literally got no clue how long I’ve been thinkin about drawing this............ he ck

Anon said:Your drawings give me life 😍❤️

sob thank you so so so much ;-;

#fran answers #in other news ive drawn more seros carrying bakugous than i expected #HM #anonymous

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lisinfleur · 7 years ago

Text

Ragnarssons In: Anorexia

Author’s Notes | hahaha oh, gods! Thank you, dear anon! Hirst is a good author, he made us these pretty boys we can play with! But thank you for your kindness, lovely anon! I hope you enjoy this final work!

Before I can start this one, I wish to say I was already into this vibe and this is not kidding. Anorexia is a serious disturb that MUST BE taken seriously for the ones around the affected person. The people around - family, friends - they must be crucial to help this person to heal her own mind cause Ana is more than just a physical condition. It is too deeply rooted in the affected mind and it is really able to change even the way the affected person can see the world around her and her own body. So when you're dealing with someone with this condition, please be patient and do not misunderstand her feelings and thoughts. She's really seeing herself too fat, it doesn't matter if you're seeing her bones... Respect it and slowly work together with this person so she can slowly see the truth. Don't you ever make fun or mock about an anorexic person. This is not funny. This is real, it hurts and can kill. Keep it in mind! Info | Requested by anon ⁑ Warnings: Mentions of eating disorders and their effects. Caution is recommended: The following content may be triggering! +18

Björn

- Would notice when he comes back from a trip. - Would try to make her questions to understand why is she doing this to herself. - His way to deal with her condition is trying to talk with her to convince her of the real state of her body and mind so they can work together in a solution to her problem.

"You're beautiful, but you're destroying yourself, love. Please, let me help you"

Ubbe

- Would notice by touching her body the way his embrace is tightening around her body. - Would be concerned she's sick before realizes she's doing it to herself. - His way to deal with the problem is to sit and have a conversation, trying to understand why she is doing it and to make her figure out the consequences of her actions.

"If you keep doing this, you'll leave me. You'll die and leave me alone. Is that what you intend? What about the life we planned together?"

Hvitserk

- Would notice her condition quite on the beginning because of her excuses to skip the meals they use to do together and because he never misses a meal, so he'll notice fast she's not eating properly and most of the times she's not even eating. - Would be pissed off about her behavior, having some issues to understand her reasons to behave this way. - His way to deal with the problem is to make a hunger strike to obligate her to eat with him.

"You don't eat, I don't eat. And don't you dare to puke what you eat or I swear I'll forbid you to leave my side after our meals!"

Sigurd

- Would take a while to notice what's going on once he is easily distracted and would fall for her arguments and explanations a little bit easier than his brothers. - Would be hurt when realizing what's happening. - His way to deal with the problem is to make some pressure and emotional blackmail, showing her a bothered expression and how much her decision of not to eat is hurting him.

"If you want to leave me and kill yourself, who am I to ask you not to do it, right?"

Ivar

- Would realize what she's doing after some days of observation on her meals, noticing the way she always finds a way to leave the table earlier without even touch her plate. - Would keep the observation and try to understand her actions by himself, trying first to see if she's not nauseated or maybe pregnant. But when she starts to lose weight, takes a providence. - His way to deal with the problem is to demand her to eat and obligate her to stop the huge pauses between her meals, even if he has to monitor her closely.

"Sit and eat. You'll not leave this table until I see your plate clean. And if you puke, I'll double your number of meals. You'll not kill yourself in starvation. Not on my watch."

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choicessa · 7 years ago

Text

Begin Again (Drake x MC)

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake x MC (Elizabeth)

Words: ~4400 (I don’t know how this happened…?)

Summary: After Elizabeth’s sudden disappearance after he’s been shot, Drake finally finds her in New York and wants to understand why had she left?

Note: I was playing with that idea for some time but never could properly finish it and last week’s finale plus amazing anon prompt I got: “I didn’t mean to, it was an accident I swear…” + “Sorry won’t fix this…” both resulted with THIS. It was supposed to be angst so it is (not that I’m complaining) aaand I might write part two? Idk, I have kind of idea for more, so… we will see ^^

Warning: A loooot of angst and a bit of swearing.

Also I allow myself to tag my dear friend @mariawalkerwrites, I hope you’ll enjoy this despite the fact it is quite angsty ^^

He found her.

When he saw her inside that bar all he could think of was… relief. Relief that he finally found her, that after all those days, weeks of looking for her everywhere – he finally did it. She was there, a few steps ahead, finally within the reach of his hand. He could almost feel his heart beating like crazy in his chest when with his eyes wide opened he was moving his gaze over her silhouette in the distance.

She didn’t change.

The same long hair, falling on her arms in a soft waves, the same look of her blue eyes, now moving through the bar, maybe looking for someone. The way she bit her lower lip, unconsciously, when she was thinking about something.

Elizabeth. His Elizabeth.

But that relief, the joy of seeing her quickly disappeared, leaving place for another emotions, the ones he wanted to get rid of and yet the ones which have driven him by the past weeks. Anger that she left him, almost like a dream that disappears in the morning, almost like she had never been there at first place; hurt that she didn’t leave a word of explanation, not even a smallest word of comfort, which would make him sleep better at night; fury that after everything that happened, after all those promises of life together, he was the one who had to come and find her. He wanted to run to her, close her in his arms, feel the warmth of her body in his again, he craved so much to taste her lips, cover her face with kisses, tell her how much he loves her, how much he missed her. But… at the same time he wanted to grab her arms, look her straight into her eyes and ask why the hell did he do this to him? How could she and how is she capable of sleeping at night with the memories of how she broke his heart? He wanted to come and go, let her know how it really is to lose someone you love more than anything; he wanted her to suffer, just like he did…

The memories came back like a tidal wave, flooding him, bringing back the same pain. That moment when he woke up in that dark hospital room, his throat sore, wound in his chest burning almost like fire and terrible pain in his heart, the unbearable thought. Did she make it? Did he save her? Did he protect her from that bullet?

He waited for her to come. One hour. Four. Ten. A day has passed, two and she still didn’t come. Liam kept on telling him that it was too big risk, that they needed to protect her and he believed it. At the beginning. But when almost three days has passed and he still had to ask for her, he knew they lied. They all lied.

When he asked his friend for a truth, he was prepared for pretty much everything. He was prepared for hearing that she was dead, that she didn’t make it, that even though he did everything, the bullet still reached her. He was prepared for hearing that she was in coma, in critical condition, laying a few rooms further in the same hospital that he was.

But he wasn’t prepared for this.

For that look full of pity when Liam told him that… She was gone. That she disappeared, leaving one note, with no explanation, telling only that she was sorry and she needed to leave, had to leave. Words which were probably meant to be a consolation, make her departure easier for him, but… they never did. They only made hole in his heart bigger, they made every single day a struggle when he needed anything to hold on to, anything to help him cope. Until he realized that’s the only way of ever getting over was… to find her, hear her explanation, maybe understand why did she do this? Or maybe what had he done that made her leave?

And here he was, standing in front of her bar, looking at her through the window, first time in forever wondering if it was a good idea. Maybe it was stupid to open up the old wounds? Maybe he was stupid for trying again? Maybe it was better to just bury everything behind, forget that part of his life that was now gone? Maybe she had already moved on and now it was time for him to do the same thing? But he didn’t come here for nothing, he didn’t spent last weeks in this city looking for her, just to run away once she was within the reach of his hand. She owed him at least that, a confession. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and stepped inside.

~~~

The hour passed after an hour and Elizabeth looked at the watch again, sighing with a mixture of relief and resignation. Only three more hours and it’ll be end of today’s torment... She took another glass, wiping it with a cloth before putting it back at the shelf behind her back.

Today was one of those days.

Days when she was woken up by a nightmare, bringing back the pain of a stupid decision she once made. One of those days when she couldn’t stop thinking if maybe there was another way. A day filled with regrets haunting her whenever she closed her eyes. You left him. Those simple words refusing to leave her mind, even though she tried so hard to get rid of them. The thought that occupied her mind, every moment she wasn’t otherwise engaged. For last few months she was feeding herself with lies that she did it for him but truth was… She had no idea if he was okay. She wanted to reach out to him for so many times, hands holding her phone, text message ready to be sent and her own fingers hovering over ‘sent’ button. But she never did. Never sent that message, not to him, not to anyone. She simply had to pretend she never existed, never stormed into his life, their lives, bringing only pain and disappointment.

Most of the days it was surprisingly easy to drown out that persistent voice in her head; she had work, she managed to keep up the appearance of a normal life and sometimes it seemed that she was good again until... until the day like this came and everything returned to the starting point.

Suddenly Elizabeth heard the sound of door opening and she let out another sigh. It was a long day and a long evening and every new customer was making it harder to wait till the end of the shift. Especially today when all those thoughts and memories of her previous life were haunting her, making it unable to focus on anything else. She took a deep breath when she heard slow, heavy steps on the floor, followed by the soft creaking of the stool when another customer sat down at the counter.

“What can I get you?” Elizabeth finally asked, still not looking at him, finishing her previous cleaning.

“Maybe an explanation?”

Glass that she was holding almost slipped from her hand when she heard those words.

That voice…

The one she thought she’d never hear again in her life, the one she’d recognize everywhere, the one she grew so fond of once, the voice that used to fill her heart with longing, tenderness and the one which was now… emotionless, causing only more pain and bringing all the regrets she tried to silence for so long. Elizabeth took a deep breath and slowly turned around, almost immediately meeting the familiar pair of dark eyes. Drake…

In that moment all she could feel was… relief. Relief because he was alive, sitting right in front of her, relief that he was okay. For the first time that felt like forever she could breathe again, she didn’t have to feed herself with false hope, pray that he would be safe and sound. Because he was. Right here, within the reach of her hand. Her lips started to move, almost lifting in a smile when a sad realization hit her. She hurt him so much… Left without a word, leaving him nothing, not even a single letter, hoping that finally he would forget her, just like she will try to forget about him. But yet he was here, in New York, months after her departure and… even after all this time – she realized she loves him the same. His one look, the sight of his brown eyes, could still make her heart flutter in her chest. But even though her feelings didn’t change at all, they both changed. And he… He must have hated her, after all that she’s done… She swallowed hard and cleared her throat, before putting her hands on a counter, taking a step towards him.

“What… What are you doing here?” She managed to ask, almost relieved that her voice didn’t betray her this one time and gave this false image of her being so… calm.

“I came for an explanation. Maybe you can help me with this one?” There was no trace of any emotion in his voice, it sounded almost like he was ordinary asking for an hour or another drink to order, not a single trace of any affection, the one she used to know once…

But what was she expecting? She brought it on herself… Her one single decision made him shut off again, built up all those walls once again, not allowing himself for any trace of weakness. Not now. Not in front of her anymore.

“I’m working.” She answered simply.

“Oh yes, I see that. But since you don’t have a lot of customers, I think a little chat with someone who once considered you a friend wouldn’t take up too much of your precious time, huh?”

She winced, hearing his words. Friends…? They were so much more than that… She swallowed hard, dropping her gaze, not capable of looking at him. Friends… Every his word hurt, they hurt more than a thought of ever leaving him. Because she could always feed herself with hope that he did move on, he had a life, maybe even a happy one, but now all those illusions, helping her cope with waking up every day, were… gone. Elizabeth felt her hands started to tremble and she looked down at them, clearing her throat. For a longer moment she didn’t know what to say, what to do. Never, even in her wildest dreams she thought of a scenario where Drake would come and find her. She was never prepared for that and now she completely didn’t know what to do, how to behave.

“If you think you’ll get rid of me by ignoring me, then you’re mistaken, Harris…” He snorted, bringing her back to reality, crossing his arms and leaning them against the counter and Liz looked up at him. “I won’t leave until you talk to me.”

“And do you know that I have every right to ask you to leave if you won’t order something?” She raised her brow, now filled with frustration. He caught her off guard, showing like this and demanding things. And Liz couldn’t show how moved she was, she didn’t want to, putting up her own shields.

For a moment they were just looking at each other, the silent battle of gazes when finally Drake gave up.

“Fine. I’ll have whiskey.” He leaned back again, sighing and Elizabeth placed a glass in front of him, pouring him the golden liquid.

“Here.” She was trying to turn around when Drake grabbed her wrist, gently, yet firmly pulling her closer.

“You won’t get rid of me so easily, Harris. Not after everything you have done. You owe me an explanation.”

“Owe you? I don’t owe you anything. And we have nothing to talk about.” She tried to take her hand away but Drake’s grip grew stronger, when he leaned down towards her.

“Oh, really? Nothing at all? After everything that happened!?” He raised his voice, his eyes never leaving hers. “And what about all those times you told me that you want me, huh? What about that moment when you chose me over Liam? What about all those kisses we shared? Hell, Harris, we even slept together! And then you just… Disappeared like a ghost and you tell me that we have nothing to talk about!?” His voice was full of anger now and Liz looked around, afraid that some other guests may hear them. “Did really all those moments in between mean so little to you!? And what about the fucking bullet I took for you, risking everything to save your life? Is it also nothing!?”

“Drake…” She tried to interrupt him but he didn’t listen.

“Do you know how long it took me to find you? How many weeks have passed before I found you in that city? First I couldn’t even left Cordonia, they didn’t let me because of the wound I had, caused by the bullet I took for you. And when I came here…” He shook his head, a strange laughter escaping his lips. “Do you have any idea how long does it take to find one single waitress in this fucking city!? In how many bars I’ve been, showing your picture and hoping that someone would recognize you!? Do you know how feels the person, looking for a needle in the stick of hay!? Do you know what had I sacrificed to find you!?” Now he was almost shouting and customers sitting closer to them started to look discreetly into their direction.

“Drake!” Elizabeth snarled, interrupting his monologue. „Are you done?”

He was breathing heavily, finally releasing her wrist, his eyes never leaving hers. She was furious, angry because every his word hurt, piercing her heart almost like a sword, again and again. He had no right to come back into her life like that, bringing back the stings of remorse, reminding her how hard was to leave everything and everyone behind her. She thought she finally moved on, that she started to slowly learn how to live again, without the regrets haunting her every day. And now he was here, a reminder of a previous life, a reminder of what she had done. But deep in her heart she knew that he had every right to be angry at her, he had every right to tell her all those things. And part of her hated him for that, for reminding her how much she hated herself.

“No.” His voice interrupted her. “I am not done!” He banged his fist on the counter. “You know that I lost everyone I loved in my life before! My father, my sister and when I met you… I thought you will be by my side, just like I was by yours for all this time, and you did what? After all you left me too, just like them!”

“Then maybe you should ask yourself why people keep leaving you?”

Words left her mouth before she had a time to rethink them. Oh my God, she didn’t… And everything about him changed, he leaned back on his stool, the pure hurt visible on his face when he stared at her, almost not believing that those words left her lips. Elizabeth was looking at him, her eyes wide opened, her mouth slightly parted when she could only see how Drake clenched his jaw, his fingers gripping the glass of whiskey so tight that they were almost white now. What the hell has she done? How could she said that?

“I’m so sorry, Drake, I…” She stuttered. “I didn’t mean to, it was an accident, I swear, it just…”

“Yeah, well…” He suddenly shrugged, regaining his composure, once again putting up all those walls, pretending that he didn’t care, that her words didn’t hurt him at all. “Thanks for the whiskey, Harris…” With those words he put a few bills on the counter and stood up, leaving bar with not another word.

With her eyes wide open Elizabeth was watching how he simply left her bar, door closing behind his back. For a moment she could just… stare blankly at the wall, not knowing what to do, not really realizing what had just happened. Until her shock was replaced by pure anger. So that’s how he wanted to solve this, huh? Did he really think he’s the only one hurt?

Not thinking about any consequences, she got to the door and stormed off to the street. He wasn’t far, just a few meters ahead of her and Elizabeth ran to him in a few steps.

“Hey! Don’t you dare leave like that, we haven’t finished!” She shouted, grabbing his arm but Drake quickly shook her hand off.

“I think you’ve said enough.”

“Look, I said I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to say that, I was angry and… It just slipped out!”

“Sorry won’t fix this…” He murmured, still walking straight, not stopping, even when she grabbed his arm again. “Not this, not what you have done…”

“So what do you want me to say? Huh? That every day I regret what I had done? That I’m truly sorry for everything? That if I could turn back time I would do it without thinking twice? Because this is the truth, Drake and you know it!”

“You can say that you’re sorry a thousand times but it still won’t change anything! It’s too late to apologize!”

“So that’s why you came here?” She suddenly stopped, not having enough strength to chase him anymore. “To open up old wounds and just… leave!?”

“I came here for explanation! The one you still refuse to give me! I just want to know why was it so easy to leave me!?” He finally stopped and turned around to look at her.

“Easy!? It was never easy!” She shouted, spreading her arms with frustration. “It was the hardest decision of my life!”

“Oh yeah? It doesn’t look like that, I see that you've set yourself up pretty well.”

“Oh fuck you, Walker!” Words left her mouth without thinking, before she had a chance to bite her tongue but with some dose of satisfaction noticing that Drake looked at her surprised. “You know nothing about my life and my struggles! Do you really think you’re the only person hurt? That this didn’t affect me at all? What else can I say, what else can I do so you’d believe that I mean it!?”

“Just… Just tell me the truth! I just want to know if all those sleepless nights I spent wondering if I could stop you, were worth it! Do you know for how long was I wondering what have I done wrong? What did I do that made you leave? Why wasn’t I enough?”

“You were always enough!”

“So why? Why, Harris!?”

“Don’t you understand!? I did it to protect you!”

He blinked several times, probably never expecting this kind of answer.

“Protect me?” He repeated.

“You’ve been hurt because of me! Hell, Drake, you’ve been shot! Right in the chest! I barely lived through that, fearing that you might… die, and knowing it was all my fault. And then I started to think… What if one day you’d want to do this again? Save me? Feeling this stupid need of sacrificing yourself for me?“

“So… That was a way of sparing me pain, huh? Yeah, right, it really turned out great…” He snorted.

“But it was all my fault! Everything happened because of me! If I was the reason you were hurt, that you were fighting for your life… I had to leave! I had to make sure you won’t recklessly risk your life like that again!” She looked up at him, taking one step closer when he crossed arms on his chest. “What was I supposed to do!? What other choice did I have?”

“You could have come to me!” Drake looked at her once again, brows drew in pain. “Share your doubts with me! We could have made this decision together!”

“You wouldn’t have let me go!”

“No. I wouldn’t. Because running away is never a solution!”

“But if I stayed…”

“What would have happened? Huh? The end of the world?” He rolled his eyes.

“I…”

“You always accused ME of being selfish and now? Look what you have done! You ran away because you were so afraid of losing me! You chose the easier option of letting go instead of fighting. And I know you are a fighter, Harris, oh, I do know that. You wanted to spare me the pain!? You know nothing about my pain! I could stand the physical side of it, I could stand that hole burning in my chest, I could stand the thought of being hurt for you because at least I had a consolation that YOU were safe! But this pain? Right here? When you left?” He pressed finger to his chest, pointing to his heart. “Nothing could compare to it! Nothing, Harris! Nothing is worse than a pain of a broken heart who once loved too much!”

They stood there in silence, breathing heavily, both of them looking at each other with no words. For the very first time this evening Elizabeth could see how hurt Drake was. Like always he was trying to hide it but right here, right now he wasn’t capable of it, the hurt, her betrayal so visible in his eyes. She felt her heart clenched painfully when she realized that her sudden runaway hurt him a lot more than she could ever suppose; that when she tried so hard to make things right, she somehow managed to make them even worse. She looked up at him, knowing that there was no way of ever making things right, that with that one decision she probably lost him forever.

Elizabeth opened her mouth, taking a step closer to him, her hands almost involuntarily reaching out to him when she stopped abruptly and her hands fell heavily on both sides of her body. And then she felt tears on her cheeks, tears of anger, tears of regret when she understood that with her one stupid decision she destroyed the only chance of happiness in her life, she lost the only man she truly loved. Because she was too afraid of living without him and that’s exactly what made her lost him forever.

“You’re right…” She finally whispered, suddenly feeling powerless, all the anger slowly escaping, leaving her tired, so, so tired. “You are right, about everything… God, I did a terrible thing, didn’t I?” She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes for a moment, another tears falling down her face. “I was so afraid of losing you and…” She shook her head. And that’s exactly what made me lose you forever… “I am so, so sorry, Drake… If there was anything I could do, I’d do it. I know that it probably means nothing to you now, but… ” Her voice trailed off, words stuck in her throat when a sob overtook her body.

She bit her lower lip, trying to stop the tears from falling but she couldn’t. She resisted them for so long, hid that pain for such a long time and she couldn’t do it anymore. She embraced herself with her arms, the only comfort she could get right now, still avoiding his sight, feeling so stupid for being so vulnerable in front of him.

Drake was just looking at her, not knowing what to do. On the one hand he wanted to grab her into his arms, hug her, tell her not to worry, ensure her that everything will be fine. But on the other hand… What she did… It still hurt. Her disappearance without a word, how she left him, and he couldn’t understand why, for such a long time. Now he at least knew but it didn’t make the pain piercing his heart any weaker… He looked up at her and frowned, another wave of pain surging through his body. He couldn’t stand the sight of her crying, no matter how much she hurt him, no matter how much he thought he hated her for this, this sight was… unbearable. Drake took a deep breath and hesitantly took a step towards her and another, until he was standing right in front of her. She still wasn’t looking at him but tears shining on her cheeks made him feel that irresistible urge of touching her, wiping them away with a single touch. And then he reached out to her, his arms closing around her shaking body when he pulled her closer, with no hesitation anymore. She stiffened under his touch, probably never expecting it but Drake only pressed his chin to the top of her head, tightening his embrace and finally Elizabeth started to relax under his touch. She slowly put her arms around his waist, snuggling into him, breathing in the familiar scent, the one she missed for such a long time and let herself for a moment forget about the pain, the anger. He was here, safe and sound, holding her in his arms, just like he always supposed to and it all just seemed so… right.

“We should have had this conversation months ago…” She murmured against his chest, her voice lost in the layers of his clothes. “Not now…”

“Yes… We should have…” He sighed, hesitantly placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “We definitely should…”

For a moment they stayed like that, each of them afraid to break this moment, afraid of coming back to the harsh reality of unspoken regrets. Until finally Drake sighed heavily.

“Maybe we should take this conversation somewhere else?” He said, rather murmured against the top of her head, almost like he was afraid of those words.

Elizabeth slowly took a step back, slipping out from his embrace and looked at him, her eyes wide opened, almost like she was surprised by this proposition, almost like she couldn’t believe in a possibility of getting the other chance. But one look into his eyes and she saw the glimpse of the old Drake, the one she knew, the one she hurt, the one with heart on a sleeve, because of her, just for her. And in that moment she let herself hope that maybe not everything was destroyed? Maybe it wasn’t the end? Maybe they could begin again? She smiled weakly, nodding her head.

“I think I know just the place…”

#drake x mc #drake x mc fanfic #drake x elizabeth #the royal romance #writing prompt #writing request #and here we go with angst again #I kinda have idea for next part #but I'm not sure yet #sooo #we will see?#choicessafanfic #choicessawrites

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