#taehyung lucid dream

[jeoncopi]

• — freedom overseas — •

GET INTO IT: feeling carefree each time he traveled shouldn’t be different for jungkook. as much as he wishes to feel like this back home, he can’t help but restrict himself at all times. - one thing about you working abroad and his schedules matching your timezones (better when it hits same destination), he could only wish and live for the best. ‘cause that’s exactly what he’ll get.

pairing: jungkook x reader.

word count: 3.4k

be aware of: graphic smut and unprotected sex (be always safe). reader can’t resist jk, car sex, jungkook smokes here so uhm.. y-yeah..

author’s note: since this is supposed to be a drabble (lol). hopefully my next work will end up being with more than 2k (lol) kisses and let me know what you think 😇. istg this story changed 2837 times hajaja

when you step outside the restaurant walking towards jungkook who’s smoking, footsteps froze at the sudden image.

he smokes? since.. when?

bewildered, you blink twice as your eyes carefully watch him take another hit of the small nicotine. this is definitely a whole new side of him you didn’t know about.. completely new, but it got you confused. you’re not crazy to remember him talking about his hate for cigarettes because of how much his dad used to do it back when he was little.. right? like that wasn’t a dream. you’re pretty sure he has expressed his disgust to you. almost agreeing with you.

sigh..

the more you look at him as you approach him feels like you can’t even get mad at him.

..why? well.. pinocchio wouldn’t be proud of you if you say he didn’t looked hot doing it.

ugh! what are these thoughts!

you definitely despise the smell of cigarettes! you even hate the sight of it, but why does he gives you quite the view? - you blame it on the way he carries himself with so much confidence yet— is so unbothered when he opens his mouth talking with your friends. his outfit too and how an all black combo always look so good on him.. but then, the simplest thing as him holding that tiny folded paper around his pointy and middle finger touching in between his soft and natural pink lips with a very boyish smile almost made you feel like having a lucid dream. why? because.. well, you were definely wet now.

what..? no!

yes, you are. you could feel it now. if only he could feel it through your panties..

mm.. no!!

mm.. yes!! you hated daydreaming fantasies with him like this but your body and mind could be very uncontrollable sometimes. feeling a single drop down your panties.. what can you do now? aren’t you supposed to hate this? you do! but why is your body reacting this way? it’s not wrong but it isn’t entirely right either considering you don’t like cigarettes.

deciding to ignore all the carnal thoughts running through your mind, you keep walking straight to him. as sticky and annoying as it feels.

“so.. is this your way of getting fresh air?” you start as soon as your friends started parting ways. tone rather calm compared to the troubled mindset you had a few seconds ago.

startling him, softly so. “ah.. ha. this.” he responds. eyes blinking on beat as soon as he grins. you watch carefully as his hand shakes the little tobacco rolled paper.

“yeah.. this.” shyly pointing at it, “how long has this being going on?” voice still calm, you didn’t put too much effort in questioning him. it’s his body at the end of the day and you know just how stubborn your boyfriend can get.

“mm..” smoke exhaling from his mouth and he’s mindfully careful when he does it tilting his head up for the smoke to follow that direction and not be even near close your entire face. “not long ago, actually. taehyung once brought this one vaper and i was curious by its smell each time he used it, so I bought one. strawberry ice cream, to be clear,” he laughed, you do too. “it was weird but I liked it.”

“hm..” slowly crossing your arms around your body you lean against his car in thought. not breaking eye contact even a second, jungkook could feel it. “what made you change your mind? m’not gonna lie. I’m surprised. I remember you once saying you hated it.”

and it’s like your gaze is looking for answers and jungkook can clearly see that. knows you too much. thinks it’s so cute too. the way your curiosity rises each time he takes another hit, he can trust your mind being full of unanswered questions for him. he knows what you mean as well as knowing how much you don’t like it either. but the fact that you aren’t mentioning none of it to him it just makes him look at you with nothing more but warm eyes. thinking he loves you too much.

“so do you.” he states by wanting to make that clear. so you know that he knows. so you know that he won’t and isn’t getting crazy about it, that he’s aware. but you could only understand that if he really explained why.

so that’s what he does.

“remember that day when I texted you about living one life?” you nod. “well, I decided to just give it a try. I want to try everything that I can when it comes to things that I want. be it temporally or not. during my whole life.. as long as I live, there’s probably not gonna be a second chance right?”

“right.”

“at least not in this body,” and he’s so soft spoken that when he shakes once more what’s left of the cigarette’s butt before taking his last hit, the sound of a familiar plastic sound resonates through your ears and that’s when you see him pull two tiny tabs of what seems to be gum off his pocket. and you can’t believe he just did that. suddenly the image you were seeing right now, not matching with his current actions. so you can’t help but give a small smile as soon as he handles one tab for you to take with his pretty big eyes.

he continues, “even though it damages my body a little, there’s a balance thing called in life. i’m not getting addicted and I don’t do it excessively-“

“I was worrying about that, actually..” you voice out, interrupting him. “you tend to get obsessive over things.”

it makes him smile, softly. “I know. but I won’t, I promise. you know my thing is drinking alcohol anyways.. even though that isn’t entirely good either..” making you laugh in unison as you lightly punch him.

“at least you’re aware.”

“hey!” he hugs you side ways. “candy isn’t so much good for your health either..” walking towards the side of his car so you can go.

“but i’m not obsessed.” you huff about it.

“could be. you do get a bit obsessive.” bopping your nose.

“stop!”

making him laugh, “okay.. hop on.”

“I hate you.”

“show me how much.” and.. he closes the door with the biggest playful smile.

oh.. no, not again.

and there you are, left with a big hysterical smile plastered on your lips as you try to breath in, breath out the sudden rush of your body. — come on! it’s not as if you weren’t fucking wet a few minutes ago as soon as you saw him do the things you hated the most.. right? ..you totally got this..

but who.. who were you lying to? it’s not like you could control your body when you haven’t seen him in weeks anyways..

yeah.. you were a mess.

still, you tried to play it cool. “are we heading back towards the hotel, right?” genuily asking.

he responds as soon as he closes his door. “yeah, why?” staring at you now. “wanna go somewhere else?” one palm touching your bare thigh when he asks.. you know there’s nothing wrong with it, and it should be normal at this point of your relationship too, but your hormones were getting the best of you so you just play it off, gently pulling his hand away as much as you didn’t wanted to. deep inside.

“not actually, was just asking.” it’s the truth, but jungkook only squinted his eyes before resting an arm on top of the handbrake, his face’s closer to yours. not enough for you to loose your sanity but close enough into getting a whiff of his rich cloudy scent. although, you can’t deny how fine he looked staring at you like that, his eyes always seemed to shine no matter the situation. only that this time around, everything you could sense from it was nothing more than desire flaming throughout his dark orbits.

“you know we can go wherever you want, right?” staying like that for a couple of seconds, all you can answer is a slight nervous “I know.” and jungkook can sense your sudden shyness. thinking is cute but this could only go one way or the other.. if you both play your cards right.

staring at you for a couple of seconds, jungkook’s piercing gaze switch between your lips along with your boobs and neck before getting ready to turn on the car.. making you exhale a little air after, as if you didn’t know you were holding your breath.

“originally, I wanted to get back so I could brush my teeth or something to be honest.” talking about smoking. “I’m not much of a fan of the aftertaste,” he laughs. “but if you want to go somewhere else,” a hand slides through your thigh.. again. only this time, he squeezes it two times. “I’m down for it too.”

one hand on the steering wheel, another one on your thigh.. it’s moments like these when you question if he knows how effortlessly irresistible he is.. sure, it might be something simple. he’s not doing much either. is just that his side profile and the way his hair lingers in his face and overall the way he’s shaped and how you can literally see the bump of his chest pop for how much he works out mark through his shirt that it makes you want to trace his pectorals with your fingers forever makes you want to eat him and that’s it but.. uh, isn’t that the definition of being so stupidly effortlessly hot?

when you softly press both your legs together, his hand seems to scalate close to your inner thigh..

oh jungkook.. perhaps, are you having the same thoughts as me?

still, you try your best to ignore it. “ah.. so that’s why you have gum with you, isn’t it?”

“caught.” rising both hands up as played guilty.

and as you stare at him.. you notice once again, he looked fine. your legs squeeze and you slightly arch your back when your gaze is back on the street still trying to ignore the finest hottie beside you. - jungkook, on the other hand, just smiles to himself and starts driving. you can’t help but give little sneak peeks at the way he gently but confidently grasps the wheel with one hand.. as soon as the other one approaches your thigh once again.. - he always did this but you were uncontrollable tonight. can’t help but immediately give him those eyes as soon as he reaches your beloved red light.

you swore going back to the hotel wasn’t the main priority. you wanted him now. - so slowly tilting your head to the side, your voice is airy when “babe..”

“mmh?”

and that’s when he sees you. you don’t say a word but he already knows what’s that thing you’re craving the most, and that thing it’s him. he doesn’t speak either. just staring at you under the red light, his hand traces a path towards your slowly opening legs. when you bite your lips into a smirk, his fingers are already pushing your panties to the side. confirming his most prominent thought. you’re wet as fuck.

“were you waiting for this?” eyes gazing up and down your body, his voice is cheeky when he asks. biting down both of his lip rings. “fuck. just how long were you this turned on?” playing with your clit “and why didn’t you told me..” as your body twitches. “it makes me crazy..” whispering more to himself.

—

when you’re gripping the head of his seat increasing the pressure between your arms so you could balance your jumps more deeper and precisely above him, he feels like he could cum in any moment. controlling his breathing, he tries to concentrate in order not to but the way your breast bounce and how you manage to leave quick steamy kisses over his neck makes it so hard. mostly when he has this desire to kiss all over your chest and suck on your titties. but his hands are also gripping so hard at the side of the seat, he barely touches your legs and he feels like a teenager are over again.

the fuck is this coming from him not wanting to last? he blames it on the long time you haven’t seen each other. 3 weeks exactly without your kisses and physical touch.. when he remember fucking almost (if not) everyday when you stayed at his house or he stayed at yours. - there’s always this deep desire whenever you’re close to each other, jungkook doesn’t think it will ever go away and to be honest he doesn’t even want it to ever disappear. always thinking about if it’s you, then everything will be okay.

but as you’re both very into it, something similar like a flash, lights up a little the dark street jungkook managed to set you up. - you both ignore it at first but after two more times, you stop bouncing hard on him switching to slow circular movements that still makes jungkook bite his lips for how good you feel.

“don’t stop.” he’s confident, palming your ass.

“I think there’s someone watching us.”

“I’ve notice too.”

but you both end up stopping your movements regardless.

quickly looking around, the flashes has seemed to be gone but as you keep searching for someone, jungkook just stares at you only to caught your attention back by squeezing your ass two times. making your eyes meet as he mischievously smirks.

“I couldn’t care less from last time, you know it.” sensually kissing your lips. he’s provoking you all over again.. “let them have a show. it’s what they want.”

and you know he’s referring to that one time you both fucked on a balcony being overseas too. - paparazzis had caught you fucking and while you were worried about him getting bashed for it (for the blurry clips that spreaded back then), he ended up being so calm about it to the point of fighting with his company saying he shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to fuck his girlfriend. - and while he understands the depth of why they asked him to be careful, he still thinks it’s just bullshit and that the people who love him for him, will just accept and be happy that he’s happy experiencing what every normal person does. so why everybody can be happy but him? he’s just the same human with needs and desires..

“but this isn’t-“

“stop worrying about me. I know you can’t help it, so let me just say there’s nothing wrong with us wanting to fuck.. I bet they’ve their own experience so why can’t we have ours?”

when you hold his face, you know what he means. knowing how hard it is for him to tell you to stop worrying about it since he once told you he couldn’t just tell that to you because it make him feel careless about your feelings, but you do really get him this time..

when it comes from his personality, a part of you loved that. love that he doesn’t care, love that he always chooses his happiness because at the end of the day he knows he might only have this one life. and even if he don’t, he still wants to enjoy it at his best and that’s why when he motions your hips to move by gripping the side of your waist, both of your bodies stick so close to each other that the image of him biting his lips as he contemplates your body makes you not want to regret this and so you don’t. realizing you’ll only have this from time to time.

“fuck this.” you moan to his ear when jungkook kisses are needy and steamy, confirming just how badly he wanted to try this.

talking about it it’s something but actually experience this feeling of sex in such a limited place (even when this car is very spacious) was really hot and adrenaline reaching. windows foggy and all, it almost feel like a movie. you believe that at this rate it’s even difficult to look at inside the car so if those strangers were really filming or whatever, they’re footage will be already ruined.

you smiled a little because of that. but it didn’t lasted long when you suddenly feel both of jungkook’s hands around your hips manhandling the way you were going to start bouncing on him.

“let them see if they’re so interested in me. I couldn’t care less.” he just doesn’t give a single fuck right now and that only makes you want him more.

see, whenever he’s on his ‘I don’t give a fuck’ moment.. you believe that’s when he’s the most sexiest and dangerous. - maybe you were too into him but each time he showed this side of himself.. you can’t help but love it and be turned on for it at the same time.

—

while he treats you like his personal fucktoy, he does gives you times were you could move at you own pace. but the sounds and the way he touched you were making it hard for you so there’s nothing left when you say, “I- I want to cum.” with such a tiny desperate voice, it makes jungkook grin.

“do it.” voice tender compare with his hot-messy image. “mm, i’ll cum too if you do.” moaning afterwards.

and the good thing is that he really can make himself cum once you do. all he has to do is concentrate in the way your walls contracts into him as if they were gonna swallow, he loves it each time. say it feels too rich, too tight for him to handle. - so when you’re both done, after driving for a while, you don’t see more cars trying to follow you.

“gonna sleep so well tonight, i’m so fucking happyyy” he singsongs as soon as he lays in bed, pulling you into his chest for a hug. “no more nightmares,” he kisses your forehead. “my princess is here.”

smiling to himself, you feel so shy and loved at the same time. gently kissing his lips. “I can say the same.” lovey-dovey eyes looking at him.

he caresses your hair. ”my pretty little princess.”

you smile. “I hope you don’t go hard on yourself.” saying after knowing what’s coming if there really was someone witnessing what happened earlier.

“don’t worry.” softly smiling, “I told you I didn’t cared, didn’t I?” caressing one of your cheeks.

“hm. but still.”

it makes him look at you with warms eyes. “keep being cute. i’m grateful that you worry this much about me..”

“don’t tease me.”

“I’m not teasing you. it’s the truth.” pause. “I just love how caring you are because that means you really must love me..” tone serious.

“of course I do, silly!” you tease him, making him laugh.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“let’s sleep now. we’ve so much things to do..”

“..and so much little time..” you follow.

“I know.” he sighs. “but we can make it.”

“we always do.” you proudly smile, he does too.

“I love us so much.” he says once again.

you laugh. “okay, let’s sleep sentimental boy.”

“you love me this way.”

“you know I do.”

and after teasing each other for a while, you both end up falling into your sleep for a brand new, busy and maybe more exciting day..

[gard3nias]

13| The Titanic

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wc: 7.31k

date: 07/09/2024

mdi // masterlist // playlist

—Now playing: Lucid Dream by Aespa ✫

Two hours away from midday, four from the school's day end.

Outside, only metres away, the bus had just parked at the terminal and its driver left all the doors open as they came out to give their body a break from continuously sitting down.

The environment around them was almost quiet. From time to time, the line of its constancy wavered oh-so-slightly whenever a toddler's squeal would escape the kindergarten walls.

As aforementioned, the big building at the end of the road seemed to welcome only silence since it contained teenagers who are expected to be more mature than the preteens in the next building, the kids in the other and the toddlers in the kindergarten but things were meant to be a bit different for now and it's not about their maturity.

It has started once again like it does every year.

Finally, someone opened the door and October was warmly welcomed inside. It kindly smiled back and Cold Breeze, Warm-coloured Dry Leaves, Half-naked Trees, Dimly Bright Days and Dark Late Afternoons slowly made their way in as well.

That day, exactly, was dimly bright with clouds coming and going, lowering the town's brightness. The breeze causing their movement was soft and therefore they moved slowly, shying the sun of space to shine. It has gone on like this for over a week now. Every time a television, a radio or just any communication device was turned on, the weather forecast would say the same thing. This year Autumn made its entrance gracefully and beautifully, peacefully even.

The high school couldn't relate though. While October behaved, well, like itself, ambitious teenage students were working with their respective teams to be elected by their fellows and represent their school.

At first sight, one could argue it all revolves around the simple title and the ego boost one gets once they receive it but it was genuinely about the students, about making their wishes come true. They had no blue genie with a funny beard to do that for them. They had to turn themselves into one—or a makeshift—in order to reach the heights that would give them a better overview of circumstances.

The students walked along the hallways with snacks in their hands. Their heads looked up to read the flyers and banners on the walls, and they were mentally collecting the number of people running in the campaign. They still had five minutes to go before the bell would ring and they'd have to retire to their respective classrooms.

It was a bit chaotic: some unserious students were rather minding their business somewhere else or making fun of their fellows' efforts in creating their banners and flyers; other interested students would stop to read and comment with their friends; in the meantime, the ambitious students would be standing next to their banners ready to clear any misunderstanding or answer to any question—and also for simple appearance.

This was the school right from the first week of October.

Now, it was the second week and the hectic environment had changed into something more controlled and it stressed the ambitious students a tad bit. Some showed it, others didn't. Adrielle fell under this category and there's nothing Taehyung wouldn't do to borrow that skill.

Because of the campaign, he and Adrielle had to take the bus earlier than usual so they could get to school and have time to set up their stand. Yes, the ambitious students were instructed to create their stands from where they could hand out flyers and handmade merch to gain popularity and therefore more votes. This cooled down the chaos from the previous week.

That morning, Jimin's eyes were puffy, his lips even puffier, when the bus stopped by his house and opened. Adrielle chuckled when she saw how distraught he appeared as he made his way to them. Taehyung couldn't muster enough energy to laugh or react at all because he was in the same situation but instead of having puffy eyes, he had stressed eyes which needed to be taken care of by wearing his glasses also to school and not just at home. Adrielle seemed like the odd one out around them because she was glowing, always smiling.

Thankfully for everyone, Jimin's eyes' puffiness faded away by the time they made it to their school. The place was empty, not fully but noticeably. The gates were opened just enough to let the few interested students in. As they went up the hill, another puffy-eyed person came into their view.

Jungkook was a mess and that is just to put it nicely, a severe understatement. Never in his life had he had to get up so early and do so many things on top of it. In the trunk of his car was everything they needed to set up their stand. Again, Adrielle stuck out like a sore thumb amongst them as she giddily went in, started taking the planks from the trunk and headed to the gazebo set up by the running tracks in the vast green land within the school's fence.

"I can't believe I won't get paid for this," Jungkook mumbled, planks in his arms. When they got to the gazebo, there was just one rival team busy building their stand. They paid them no attention as they stopped for a millisecond to choose the right spot before heading forward.

With the tools from the box Jimin carried, within twenty minutes, the stand was set, standing in all its pride. Adrielle was so happy she started clapping and giddily jumping like a baby causing her friends to smile as well despite all the tiredness lacing every inch of their body.

"This is the first time I saw you so happy, jeez," Jungkook spoke again as he helped Jimin put the tools back in the box.

"Obviously! It looks so pretty. Thank you!" she replied before taking her weighty backpack where she'd placed everything needed to decorate the stand. Jungkook and Jimin momentarily left to keep the box in the car while Taehyung and Adrielle dived into the decoring. They had to hurry up because the clock was ticking, other students were arriving and classes would start soon.

In the meantime, around a week earlier, Daphne was messily bolting down the stairs of her home with her hoodie hanging by her arm, the same holding her backpack and phone held to her ear with the other shoulder. On the other end of the phone was Cleo in a very similar situation, hurriedly clearing the table from everything she used for breakfast and rushing with her things to the entrance so she could put her shoes on.

That morning, there was no adult available to drive them to school and life decided it was the perfect day for time to rush faster and have them stress about missing the bus.

When Daphne succeeded in putting her shoes on, she immediately ended the phone call, slung her backpack over the shoulder and ran out, closing the gate in a chaotic way. A few steps away, Cleo was doing the same thing, increasing her speed when she heard Daphne scream for her to hurry up. In a split second, they were both running down the hill, out of their neighbourhood and onto the side of the road.

The sky was similar to a summer morning. The sun's bright rays enhanced the clouds' shape. Birds were chirping, leaves were moving. The only difference was in the slightly fresher breeze lingering in the air.

"Fuck, it's right there!" Cleo screamed, seeing the bus coming from behind them. The girls increased their speed even further, hair flying in the air, backpacks threatening to fall off their shoulders and legs feeling like they wanted to give out on them. Right at that moment, the bus drove past them but the stop was just a few feet away from them so luckily for them, as the bus slowed down, stopped, opened the doors and other passengers got on, the girls had enough time to catch up and get on before the doors closed once again.

Their self-assigned seats were empty as usual. The girls were breathing heavily and laughing too as they walked down to the back of the bus, trying not to trip and fall since it already started moving. Once they made it safely, they flopped down on the seats with hair strands already sticking to their foreheads and heavy huffs of air coming out their mouths.

"Oh, my God! Never... again," Daphne forced out, chest going up and down to take in as much oxygen as it could. Cleo chuckled, "I don't even know how it happened," she complained before sitting up better. Daphne chuckled back but it caused her to cough, simultaneously making Cleo laugh even harder. Daphne smacked her friend's lap urging her to stop laughing because it was causing her to laugh and cough even more.

When they both calmed down, breathing and body temperature-wise, they got into their hobbies: crocheting and reading. While Cleo stayed focused on her activity with an airpod in, playing soft music, Daphne couldn't focus on hers, lifting her eyes off her book whenever the bus would stop and open the doors.

It's been days since she hasn't Taehyung nor his blonde friend and she was curious as to why. She loves Cleo and her company so much but it's boring compared to all the rush of emotions and butterflies she'd get whenever the boy was there and she was missing it. She'd check a few times and as the bus would get fuller, the number of passengers wouldn't allow her to see well so she'd finally give up and focus on the open book in her hands.

If only she knew what was really going on. Neither Cleo nor her friends were too invested in the electoral campaign. They just knew that it was on from the first week of October but they were oblivious to all the stress it put the ambitious students through.

The tired-eyed friends, Jimin and Taehyung, had been working on the presentation every day since the beginning of the month. Jimin had been sleeping off at Taehyung's for days now. Since the first week, Jimin had been rushing past his home sitting next to Taehyung on the bus as they headed to his home. Once they'd arrived, Taehyung would prepare lunch with his friend, switching between helping him out and playing with his dog. After lunch, they'd have a little power nap because that's what a full stomach does to you.

Once awake, they'd immediately get to work, looking for inspiration from the Internet, taking necessary pictures and working on how to set the presentation itself.

Almost on the opposite end of their home, in hers, Avyanna was dressed comfortably with her glasses on, partly lying on her couch as she watched another teen movie about cheerleading on her iPad. On the coffee table by her were various snacks and drinks to her reach so she wouldn't need to get up every minute—unless she had to ease herself into the bathroom. Snuggled between her body and the couch was a little notebook where she wrote down various things she found helpful to her case. At the same time, her phone occasionally buzzed as messages came from a new little group chat she had created with a few other friends of hers who could lead the auditions with her.

At last, a few blocks from her place was Jungkook working on making his house good enough to welcome an important party—yeah, usually his parties were for simple fun but now it was also for an electoral campaign. With help from his father, he'd hired a few people to work on a few parts of the house he didn't find exactly good enough for the party. He planned to share the party into two parts: the first one would go from its beginning to the end of the evening and it would include the welcoming of the guests, a good presentation from Adrielle once all the guests had arrived and dinner; the second part would go from the end of the evening to the end of the night and it comprised everything one does at a teen party like drinking, beer pong, music and hook-ups.

The first part was essentially for Adrielle and the second for Taehyung—him included because he'd never deny himself a good time.

He just had to make all the necessary spaces available and back it up with the right staff service. Occasionally, Jimin would pass by his house since he'd offered to help with the food.

—Now playing: The Unforgiven by Metallica ✫

Other than all this activity for the campaign, the first week of October felt hectic to Daphne because she'd have to take her physics test on the very ship-sinking topic she'd been struggling to understand.

In between hanging out with friends and running house chores, Daphne also prioritised her studies—placing physics at the top of the list out of all the subjects.

As October inched closer and closer, she had to pass on various hang-outs with her friends because the anxiety was growing on her. The wall behind her desk was littered with little Post-it notes about the topic—her bathroom mirror was not spared. Everything she did revolved around that topic so much so even the book she reads in the morning on the bus had to be momentarily replaced by her physics notes.

The official day was Friday.

That morning, she woke up an hour earlier than usual just so she could revise everything as she had breakfast. Once the hour hand pointed at six, she went upstairs to shower and get dressed. One can already imagine what she was doing as she took on those tasks. She was mumbling physics formulas and definitions so much it spiked her parents' attention as they asked her what was going on. "Physics test today," she quickly answered before resuming her activity.

Luckily for her, Cleo was just in the same mood to revise, so they both talked about physics as they went to school. Since the test was right in the morning, at the first hour of the day, once they got to class, they weren't the only ones revising. Their classmates were repeating formulas and definitions to each other as they separated the desks and got everything they needed to undertake the test.

Daphne's desk already presented two pens, a pencil, a rubber, a calculator and the paper she'd need to make all her calculations while she revised with Asher. Cleo decided to repeat a few things to the other two because they were so dumb they made her feel smarter—give my girl her little moment to shine.

As soon as the bell rang, Mr Keeley walked in, a bag in one hand while the other held a pile of papers. He waited for everyone to sit down but explained a few rules in the meantime.

Daphne was feeling a bit confident. She'd revised so much for this and from her little moment with Asher, she deducted that she was ready. He told her as well. In fact, he told her that there was no way she'd fail her test. Yeah, she smiled at that but it quickly vanished when she remembered something else: she remembered everything right now for the test but in order to not forget any, she'd have to forget anxiety.

When the test was handed to her, she immediately got into it, writing her answers almost robotically to the easy first questions about the theory. Her head hovered over the test. Nothing could distract her, at least nothing coming from her surroundings. No one could disturb her in that moment if not herself—or something from herself.

She read the score points next to each exercise and noticed how the theory questions weighed less and the exercise with the highest score point was a long one she decided was right to leave for last. So she solved the first one. It was easy. No confusion. No random scribbles in her view. No gibberish. No shuffling of letters. No holes in the ship.

She still had two exercises to go and moved on to the next 'easy' exercise which differed from the previous one for having an extra question, A and B. The first part was easy, she solved it as fast as she did with the first exercise. The second part is when the ship started wavering.

The more she read, the more it got confusing. The answer would come into her mind as fast as it disappeared. It happened the first time, the second and the third time. She knew where this could lead so she stopped for a moment, dropped her pen on the desk and cupped her face, rubbing it to calm herself. Eyes closed and deep breaths. Once she felt ready, once again, she took the pen, another last deep breath and read the second part all over again.

Mentally encouraging herself, she wrote a few things down on her paper to organise her thoughts before connecting everything somehow and starting to solve the problem but as she did so, typing numbers on her calculator, all the connections suddenly broke, leaving out only weak and shattered strings. Her forehead wrinkled as everything slowly started losing all sense.

It took her nothing to start questioning everything she knew. "Was it all a lie? Did I gaslight myself into believing I was ready? But Asher told me there's no way I could fail and that means that I'm ready, right? Right? What happened? What's happening to me?"

What was happening to Daphne was another moment when she let anxiety take control of her senses. As soon as the problem got too complicated and the answer wasn't as obvious, she felt like her brain started malfunctioning and everything she knew disappeared in thin air.

The more she questioned herself, the more blows she got, almost eradicating the bottom half of the ship. It's definitely sinking.

Anyone looking in from the outside could tell that, one, whatever she was reading on that sheet was very complicated or, two, she was trying to recollect her thoughts and struggling to do so. It was most likely the second option.

She lifted her head off the sheet and looked around for her friends. Cleo was busy writing, Asher did the same. Nick was typing on his calculator and James had just stopped staring into nothing to write whatever he was thinking about on his paper. Was she the only one having it hard right now?

She refused to ponder too much on the problem and decided it was right to move on to the next despite it being the most difficult part of the whole test. Eyes closed, deep breaths and she dived in, trying her best to take control of the steering wheel so anxiety wouldn't lead her straight into a brick wall.

Skip to a few days later, it was Wednesday, the second day of the hour, just before break time. The nine o'clock bell had already rang and the teacher left to attend their next class while the students prepared for their next one. The preparation wasn't the usual one where you'd remove a certain subject's notebook and exercise book to bring out another one's. There was a 99.9% chance Mr Keeley had checked the tests and would hand them out—especially considering that Daphne's classroom comprised few students.

Daphne was fidgeting in her seat, seemingly the only person in her friend group worried over it. She sat on the edge of the chair. Couldn't afford comfort because her insides were having an Olympic gymnastics performance, her anxiety being the puppeteer master. She'd fully tied her hair back because if she ever were to be disturbed even by the smallest hair strand, her stress could lead her to make herself bald. Her hands were together between her thighs, occasionally coming out only to rub on them. Her lower lip was partly between her teeth as she picked on the chopped skin or bit her inner cheeks. She wasn't sweaty. Okay, she probably was, but it was certainly cold at least from how one could tell seeing all the goosebumps texturing her arms. Or maybe it could just be the chilly Autumn breeze. Who knows?

The classroom wasn't either too noisy or silent but just as busy as any classroom with anxious students could be. When it totally quieted down, all playful and inattentive students understood that Mr Keeley had arrived. Daphne wasn't among them—she was probably the first to see the teacher.

"Good morning," his dry tone greeted, gaining a similar response, the only difference was that he was his usual self while the students were anxious and momentarily lost their voices.

"As I think all of you suspect, I have graded your tests but before I hand them out, I must say a few things." Daphne, along with a handful of her classmates, gulped down saliva, fidgeted a bit more in their seats and increased their attention.

"It wasn't the best... especially since it's the first test of the year. Just not a good way to start," his dry voice spoke. Dry but surely not as much as Daphne's throat. Right at that moment, flashbacks from the day of the test started overwhelming her brain. "How many mistakes did I make? Are they enough for me to fail the test?"

There was a similar reaction across the classroom. Some hissed or complained out loud, others remained silent just as she was. With that said, Mr Keeley proceeded to sit down and open his register where he'd write the marks as he handed out the tests. "They are not in alphabetical order so..." he spoke again before putting his glasses on and clearing his constantly dry voice.

"Oh, my God," she heard Cleo sigh next to her. Daphne was looking straight ahead at the pile of papers among which was hers with hopefully a sufficient grade marked in red.

She flinched a little when Mr Keeley called the first surname. As the girl went up to his desk, he registered her grade next to her surname and handed out the test. Everyone's eyes moved to the girl's face to see if she'd have a happy or a sad expression. She simply watched the paper in her hands, showing no emotion.

"That can't be good," Daphne thought to herself, sitting closer and closer to the edge of the chair. The next surname was called and that's how it went on till it was Asher's turn. All his friends followed his movement with their eyes as he got up, walked to the desk, and checked his test while Mr Keeley registered the grade. Again, no real reaction.

"Are they all this bad or is it just Asher?" Daphne immediately questioned herself while Cleo verbally asked her friend how it went. The response was: "Not bad but not good as well."

"What do you mean by 'not good'? Is it objectively not good or just not how you usually perform—" Cleo's surname was called. With bulging eyes, she moved her chair back to make way for herself.

Daphne's eyes followed her friend and once the grade was seen, Cleo scrunched her face. "Okay, that's certainly not good," Daphne mentally said.

"I wasn't expecting it to be like this," Cleo admitted once back at her desk. The number sitting in the top corner of her paper was five-and-a-half. Daphne's eyes bulged out, curious as well as to why. She revised with Cleo during their trip from home to school. Cleo was prepared, certainly not as much as she was because she wasn't as anxious but enough to get a good grade. Yes, a good grade, not just a sufficient one. Before Daphne could make all the connections she wanted or try to comfort her friend, her surname was called.

The feeling that settled within her was urging her to stop by the trash can on the right and throw up but she pushed through. By the time she was standing next to Mr Keeley, he'd already marked her grade on his register and simply handed the paper to her without uttering a word or even looking her in the face. She didn't know what force or power flowed through her whole arm and reached her fingers enough to let her collect that paper but she was able not to let the paper drop to the floor. The last thing she'd want to deal with is embarrassment from such a scene—it would hunt her all life long.

Her sight was getting blurry and she was thankful—anything not to see that ugly number in red. With almost nothing left within her, she walked back to her desk and slumped down on the chair as Cleo stretched to see the grade. She didn't mean to gasp loudly hence the hand on her mouth but she also never thought that all that effort she'd seen Daphne put in this topic would be in vain. She didn't speak though, just went on with her life to give her friend the much-needed space.

Daphne's eyes were full of tears, glowing in ugly pride. They were so full but she didn't dare to let anyone slip out. Like muscle memory, her hand went to the back of her head to remove the rubber band holding her hair and all the pins keeping her bangs back so, from the side, no one could see her face. No one would see her break down. No one would see her feel broken and ashamed for letting anxiety get the best of her, again.

It didn't take long before Mr Keeley finished handing out all the tests and was looking at all the grades written on his register.

"As you all know, a lot of you failed the test and it can't remain like that." His voice suddenly changed and became cold as he opened his agenda and took a black pen.

"Since many of you failed it, I'll give you above a month to prepare and that leaves us... in the last week of November. I'm giving you this much time meaning that there won't be any second chances. The study is autonomous but you can always ask me questions. Until then, we'll move on to the next topic."

Daphne felt very irritated. By her hair, because she wanted it out of her face but also in so no one would see her. By the ugly red number that wouldn't go away from her paper or memory. By Mr Keeley's monotonous voice. How could such a sound be so flat but still deviate and hit sensitive nerves? She was also irritated by the stupid pen in her fingers that refused to function properly. Her tears painted her agenda's page darker than this fucking ink but she didn't like it. In fact, she hated it. Hated that she was crying. Hated that she failed. Hated that everything she did was in vain. Hated that she'd let anxiety write in her stead that day and she fucking hates how this stupid pen just couldn't write properly and, worse, how it looked on the wet spot a tear had just created.

"Mr Keeley, may I go to the bathroom?" she mustered all her energy to ask him the question, hoping he wouldn't look up and just give her the answer she needed. He met her expectations because he simply agreed without stopping whatever he was writing on his agenda.

Daphne got up, trying so hard to be calm. When she asked him the question her voice fortunately wasn't shaking nor her legs now as she was walking to the door, out in the hallway and to the bathroom.

The change of environment seemed to cause her tears to start flowing more and, by the time she made it to a stall and closed the door, her face was soaked. She wasn't sobbing. At least, not audibly. She was just profusely crying, nothing could stop the tears. She closed the toilet lid and sat on it, legs immediately to her chest and arms holding them close.

If anyone walked into that bathroom, they would see an occupied stall but they would never be able to tell what was happening behind the door because there was pure silence. Daphne wasn't breathing hard or loudly sobbing. Her tears were just flowing like a river and it was just a matter of time before even that would start to annoy her. Just a matter of minutes before the infamous shame would dawn upon her.

She couldn't think straight at that moment. Couldn't think about what to do, how to help herself and how to make the goddamn tears stop rushing. She didn't have her phone with her else she would've tried using it as a distraction—not like it would've worked much because she's pretty stubborn, especially when Anxiety is whispering in her ear what to do and how to do it.

That emotion was a monster to her. A monster with a melodious voice to the point that it could have her do anything, anything as in letting it take control. It always had its big hands on her shoulders, long fingers clawing in her flesh whenever she tried to fight it. Daphne couldn't see its face because it was always standing behind her. She could only hear its voice. It sounded like the best things on her earth: the voice of a nice old lady who loves kids, the honey-like voice of powerhouse singers, the pleasing tingling sound of wind chimes, the harmonious result of an orchestra playing a classical song or the sound of birds chirping in the morning. It sounded like one of them but also all of them combined. Almost irresistible. Almost. What hurt was its fingers which were getting deeper and deeper into Daphne's shoulders. It would be easy to stop listening to the voice. The real problem was that painful, strong and bloody grip. It seemed like if Daphne ever were to let it go, it would do anything in its power to scar her. A reminder of how weak she used to be.

Daphne was alone in all of this. Dayanne knew but not enough to really help her. To fall into the ultra dimension where the only existent beings were her sister and the monster. The dimension was empty, null of any life or colour. Just Daphne sat on a chair as if tied to it. The real 'rope' that was tying her was the deeply buried fingers in her shoulders, holding her down. The only fingers out of her flesh were the thumbs used by the monster to rub and ease the pain. To tempt Daphne more and have her succumb to its requests.

In this world, the only life was within Daphne who was aware. Her eyes showed emotions. Her mouth screamed for help but she was weak so her eyes showed nothing to the people around her and her voice wasn't loud enough to breach the end of the dimension and reach out for help.

No one really knew about her struggles. Everybody could generally say that she was an anxious person and that is where it stopped.

Her friends right now, didn't think she was trying to set herself free from the claws of a monster. They simply thought she was sad, as sad as anyone whose efforts resulted in vain. So they were thinking of ways to help their friend.

In their group only Asher's grade was sufficient. He'd taken a borderline 6. Cleo took a 5.5 while Nick and James took a 5.25. Daphne's grade was the lowest. A clean-cut five. For any student not as diligent as her, five would be a nice grade, not too bad but Daphne had bent herself over backwards to study and get a good grade. A five would be good for someone who really didn't put in the effort, someone who isn't Daphne.

The four friends were texting in a separate group created just for this reason. They planned to do something to lift their friend's mood up.

James dropped the first proposal: buying her something from the bar, a sweet snack or a sandwich. Cleo cleared it out of the way because she was certain Daphne wouldn't be feeling hungry.

The second proposal was given by Nick: since they had PE class the last two hours of the day, as they ran on the tracks, they should play with her. Tickles, soft pushes and little pokes in the side. The idea was taken into consideration but Cleo always reminded them it possibly wouldn't work depending on how sad she was.

So Asher brought his to the table: a lunch in the park after school. At first, Cleo wanted to object, thinking that Daphne would want to go straight home but she didn't and they all agreed on that.

Right when they turned their devices off, Daphne walked in, looking normal. Good at masking emotions—a skill she'd already mastered with experience.

—Now playing: Ballon d'Or by Gemitaiz ft Nayt ✫

"Which park are we going to exactly?"

Less than five minutes were left before the bell would ring and the day would come to an end for the students. The school gym, which once contained running and jumping students, was now empty and subtly silent. The PE teacher had just opened all its doors and windows to change the air before finishing with a few of their tasks. Adjacent to the gym were the changing rooms, boys on the left and girls on the right from where students would come out one by one, greeting the teacher and heading to the exit.

James, Asher and Nick were already standing by the exit, waiting for their friends to finish so they could leave.

"You gotta give me a minute. I have to call my mother."

Their plan didn't work. Daphne didn't participate in the lesson and just told the teacher she wasn't feeling fine. As they ran warm-up laps around the gym, whenever they'd pass by her, they tried to cheer her up by making jokes or funny faces but the most they would receive was a quick little smile that barely altered her lips. She was very sad and Cleo was very worried for her hence her lack of focus during the last two hours.

Once the teacher dismissed the class and urged everyone to change, the friends concluded they had to go with Asher's plan.

"So, it's not exactly a park. It's just a green field with a good view—"

"It's perfect! Where is it?" The boys were whispering to each other because they didn't know when Cleo and Daphne would turn around the corner and reach them. With his eyes on his phone, Asher scrolled through his gallery looking for the picture of the field and once he did, he called for his friends to see it. Three heads hovered over the device as James and Nick expressed their surprise. "Damn, it's beautiful,"

"Fucking perfect. Is it too far from school? How do we get there?" Nick questioned.

"By train. It's like a stop before the amusement park," Asher looked up at his friends to see if they found the distance a problem and they kind of did.

"How the fuck do we get to the train station? How would we go about the tickets and shit?"

"The tickets ain't a problem and the train station is twenty minutes away by foot. We can... we can do it," Asher had already calculated everything that's why he brought it up at all.

"Then what about the food? How would we go about that?" James was the one to ask this time around.

"We could stop at the mall and buy picnic stuff. It'll be cute. Y'all have nothing to worry about," Nick and James exchanged glances, not fully opposed to it nor fully agreeing.

"You sure?"

"A hundred fucking per cent but I have to call my mother first and at least know if I can take money from the credit card—"

"Then why the fuck are you still here?!" Nick quietly screamed but within seconds, Asher's patience ran out and he didn't even bother to answer. He just rushed outside to call his mom.

"Sorry, Asher just went out to answer a call," James reassured the teacher who heard the door open and close but didn't see what or who went out or came in.

It was a matter of seconds before the girls were exiting their changing rooms. The first one was Daphne who, since she didn't participate in the class, was already dressed, hoodie on and backpack hanging by one shoulder. She was leaning on the wall opposite the changing rooms' entrance waiting for Cleo to finish and join her.

In the meantime, James and Nick were getting nervous because they feared they might not be able to go through with this other plan. Yet again.

"Why the fuck didn't he call his mother before? He had the whole fucking day to do this. We planned this shit in the morning," Nick whispered. James couldn't come up with an answer to that and silently looked outside the glass windows in the gym's door where Asher was walking up and down whilst talking on the phone.

"I don't fucking know," he finally replied, sighing and ripping his eyes off his friend to look at Nick, "I ain't the smart one. He is!" he whispered back in frustration. Nick just leaned on the wall and crossed both his arms and legs, hoping for the best.

"I just know that if this doesn't work, I don't know what could happen to Daph—"

"Why are you talking like she'll kill herself or something? It's stupid physics—"

"Yeah, and I wish she saw it the same way. Did you see her face when she took that fucking paper in her hands? My girl was about to drop dead right then and there," Nick was still silently yelling.

Before thinking of a reply, James moved his eyes to Daphne's figure across the gym. She was still leaning on the wall, curtain bangs preventing anyone from his position to really make out her side profile. She looked like a normal teenage student at that moment: legs crossed, one arm across her torso while the other held her phone. All normal but her friends knew her despite the little time she's been living here. She's been way too normal that day. They knew how hard she studied for the test and they knew, just like anyone else really, how bad it hurts to see your efforts go in vain. But they also knew that Daphne's reaction wasn't the one anyone would expect after such an event.

James remembers what happened in the library, remembers how pissed she was both at them and at the stupid physics topic. He can clearly remember that he wasn't happy to see her walk out of the library but at that moment he thought it was right to let her go, give her peace. Right now... he knew that the apparent peace she was showing was just masking a terrible thunderstorm of emotions within her.

He, just like his friends, would not try to force her to get comfortable and open up to them about everything because it wouldn't be comfortable both for her and them. So their best option was to lift up her mood and get her distracted. If then she'd want to open up, then so be it. Everything has its own time.

"Let's just hope we can go through with this plan—"

"Okay, we're good to go," Asher walked back in, the door slamming close behind him. Nick and James's expressions changed instantly and their mood lit up a bit. They didn't have the chance to celebrate or congratulate their friend before Cleo and Daphne walked up to them, Cleo's eyes bouncing from one to another.

Since it was just a matter of moments before the bell rang, they asked the teacher for permission to leave, and once given, they gave their greetings and left, walking out on the stone path leading to the gates where some of their classmates already were, waiting for the gates to open.

"So... I was hoping that we could hang out today..." Nick started, putting up a little play. His friends immediately got the message.

"I'm down," James immediately agreed. Everything seemed normal: Nick is always the first to ask to hang out and James is always the one to agree first. They just had to follow the normal order.

"I'm free right now so yeah, I guess I'm in too," Asher agreed second. Nothing different, just his usual demeanour.

"I don't really think so," Daphne spoke. Nick's neck snapped in her direction, already fearing for the worst. "I just don't feel like it—"

"Daph, it's just a way to loosen up and forget about this disgusting physics test which has me wondering if Mr Keeley really graded us correctly," Cleo finally joined. James glanced in her direction because he didn't want their motive to be so obvious and, worse, explained to her but indeed the test didn't go well for basically all of them and they all could use a good time too.

"I know right? Like... Asher got a six and almost everyone didn't pass. The highest grade in class today was 6.75 from Valerie. Like what the fuck?" Daphne didn't know what her friends were doing, no suspicions. She didn't know that for as much as the conversation seemed normal, there was more to it. She simply listened, trying to draw sense out of their opinions and look for any source of comfort.

She mentally agreed with them though. She wasn't the only one to fail the test, neither in their friend group nor the class as a whole.

"Surely Mr Keeley is to blame as well seeing the results," she spoke quietly, almost just to herself, unaware of how happy that made her friends because she was participating in the conversation and wasn't putting the full blame on herself.

"Fuck yeah if he's to blame. I told you! Brother doesn't know how to fucking teach and it showed so much this time because the topic isn't so easy to understand," James simply went by what he always believed of Mr Keeley and Daphne nodded to his words. Zero suspicions.

"So, are you down for a hangout today?" Nick was the one to ask. Daphne really wasn't in the mood to hang out but she also knew that if she went home she wouldn't find Dayanne there and therefore no one to talk to about the real problem. She'd still be alone... with her thoughts, with the guilt and with that fucking monster. She'd rather not.

"Cleo you coming?" she replied with a question. Cleo eagerly nodded and with that, Daphne decided to join them, telling them she'd just text her mom about it.

As her fingers worked on the screen, moving from her home screen to Whatsapp and on to her mother's contact, her friends were side-eyeing each other, happy to have succeeded and complimenting each other for their acting skills.

Daphne's mom didn't take long before she replied, wishing her daughter a great hangout and warning her to be safe. A quick little reply from the girl and the phone was turned off and slipped back into her pocket.

"I'm in too." The hardest part of the job was done.

⤎ previous page | ❃ | next page ⤏

[inliar]

it’s still beautiful

word count: 655

taehyung x reader, lucid dreamer au

based off of this song lyric that starts at 3:14, not the whole song. this is a korean song, but english subtitles are in the closed caption.

warnings: implied death

::

“Taehyung.” You whispered - softly, as if not to disturb his slumber. But Taehyung was awake. He wanted nothing more than to be disturbed from where he laid, to open his eyes and gaze upon your face.

“Mm, not yet.” He murmured as he attempted to keep a neutral expression. “Five more minutes?”

“It really is beautiful outside, though.” You said, and Taehyung was suddenly aware of the soothing breeze that danced over his arms.

He opened his eyes, only to immediately narrow them into a hardly open squint. The radiance of the perfectly blue sky was blinding, and the fat, puffy clouds lazing inside of it did nothing to help his poor eyes. Carefully, he slung one arm over his forehead to block the shade as he sat up.

“Your back is so messy!” Your voice fussed behind him as the pressure of what he presumed to be hands swept over the back of his shirt. “I knew we should have brought a blanket.”

Taehyung chose not to reply, instead choosing to take in his surroundings. A  sprawling, crystal clear lake met his gaze, adorned by luscious oak trees around its circumference. The sight was too immaculate for him to bear. 

Too flawless to exist.

“Are you hungry?” He heard you ask, innocently.

It was as if one moment he knew nothing, and the next moment he knew everything. It did not come as a startling realization that blindsided his being. It was much worse. It came to him peacefully, laced with agony and wretched, raw heartbreak.

Almost unwittingly, he turned around to face you.

You were beautiful. You always were. The sunlight caressing your skin made it appear believably soft, and he wanted nothing more than to bundle you tightly into his arms and never let go. Your eyes shining with hope and mirth made his heart lurch and jump out of rhythm, and he knew that if he looked away it would tear him apart, that he would spend the rest of his days pining for what could never be. The cute little quirk dancing on your mouth sucked the air out of his lungs and he knew, try as he might, that he wouldn’t be able to breathe properly for the rest of his meager life.

The feeling of tears trickling down his cheeks jarred him from his trance. “Oh.” He said, wiping his eyelids and cheeks with his palms. “Sorry.”

You looked just as he remembered.

True to his masochistic nature, he spent a day with perfect, perfect you in this perfect, perfect world. The picnic you had packed was the best food he had ever eaten in his whole life, and he swam with you amidst the setting of the sun. Your laughter had never sounded so sweet, and his heart was dangerously, impossibly full.

But his mind was intensely, realistically, troubled.

-

Taehyung woke up to the horribly jolting sound of his alarm. He opened his red, swollen eyes, only to immediately narrow them into a hardly open squint. The light that streamed through his unobstructed window was blinding to his sleep adjusted eyes, although he was pretty sure that the long, winding cover of grey clouds he noticed helped him to some extent. He slowly sat up as he reached for his phone and shut off the alarm.

He took in his surroundings. His room was exactly the same as he had remembered. There were clothes strewn on the floor he made a mental note to pick up at some point, and a pile of unreturned library books teetering dangerously by his bedside table.

Taehyung felt his stomach growl, and his ignorance was replaced by the gaping sensation of hunger. ‘Are you hungry?’ A voice inside of him asked, innocently.

The dream.

The feeling of tears trickling down his cheeks jarred him from his trance. “Oh.” He said aloud, this time letting the tears fall.

You’re still so beautiful.

[callicoversy]

Concupiscence: The Art Of Seducing You Through Dreams

Summary:

...What did you dream about?

I saw I was lost at sea...

...and that sea had the color of lust.

And what color was that?

Gold…

It was gold…

And I was sinking...

Taehyung has been having very weird dreams lately... Dreams where a doe-eyed boy claims his whole world on red linen sheets. When his father tells him that he's getting married to a woman he has only known for a couple of months, Taehyung is forced to go back to Daegu to meet his new stepmother and her son... the same doe-eyed boy he's been seeing in his dreams.

Tags: 29.4k words, Rated E, modern au - house in the woods, architect Tae, cambion Jeongguk, incubi, succubi, smut, angst, hallucinations, lucid dreaming, violence, blood, horror, mental breakdown, supernatural elements

Link in title

[shadowofahope]

Lucid || 02

Latibule

; a hiding place; a place of safety and comfort

Pairing: Idol!Kim Taehyung x undefinable her

Warnings:

Premise: What if this lucid dream isn’t his? What if he isn’t the only one brought here? What if she’s the one deciding? Either way, she never speaks a word.

Wc: 1k

masterlist || 01

Spending the day with his Hwarang Hyungs, was always fun. Joking around in interviews, teasing each other, making funny faces in for the photoshoots. Taehyung tried to keep up with the others, he really did. But his focus kept slipping back to her.

He can’t get the image of the girl out of his head. The twinkle in her eyes filled with so much wonder. the freckles decorating her face like constellations. Her light brown hair dancing in the warm winds, mirroring her white, soft dress. Skin untouched by the sun, white as nothing he’s ever seen, white but glowing warmly. 

It wasn’t just her though. Whatever world he is seeing in his dreams, he knows there’s so much more. More he wants to see, past the field, the meadow and carousel. More than he would give anything to see. His mesmerizing, vivid hiding place. Safe from the loneliness of the real world. The pain from feeling less than before, unnecessary in a world that keeps moving, but also stands still. Buzzing with excitement for the last half of his work day, he manages to finish, offering apologies to his hyungs for not going to dinner with them. His need to return to his world stronger than anything he’s ever felt. 

Through each day he had sworn he had lost his ability to smile. His anxiety and dark cloud loomed overhead, never giving him a moment of peace. It was an isolation he didn’t know how he could explain. When the world shut down, maybe he did too. The only thing dragging him through they day was the thought of sleeping that night. As the minutes ticked by the more he was itching to go.

Upon reaching the dorm, forcing himself to eat a cup of instant ramen and take a shower, his excitement turns to worry however, instantaneously as a realization swarms him. What if he doesn’t go back tonight? What if that was it? Two nights of finally feeling rested. Two nights of finally feeling not alone. Panic stricken mid shower, Taehyung frantically finishes getting ready for bed. 

“Please go back, Please go back.” He chants while lying in bed. This time choosing to not send a goodnight message to the GC. Why did he always have to be the one who made the effort? It only made him feel more alone. 

“Please, please, please.” Hugging his pillow to his chest, a single tear slips, catching on his nose. His eyes close slowly, letting himself be enveloped by fear of never seeing his beautiful world again. Knees coming up to huddle into the fetal position, as he loses consciousness.

His eyes fly open, breathing in the warm air as it passes through the grass. Instantaneously he’s on his feet. Taking in the beauty of the world around him. The vibrant pastels, the delicious comforting air, the aura of safety. Wearing the same muted clothes as before, almost as if they are out of place within this beauty. But he knows better. This is for him. This is his world. 

Before he can take a step, he realizes something is missing. Where’s the hum? The feeling of being drawn to the meadow with the carousel? It’s not there. Was the girl gone? She always hums for him. 

With confusion filling his mind, he almost doesn't notice the song returning. But he does hear it. But it’s not coming from the usual direction. He spins around with a smile already on his face. 

She’s standing in the tall grass just like he is, a few meters away. Wearing the same flowy white dress, as she has done before. She’s been waiting here for him. When he makes eye contact with her, she returns his smile. 

Taehyung bounds over to her happily. This is new, this is different. 

“What are we doing today?” He asks her excitedly. So many questions flooding his mind, but giving her silence instead. Knowing she always seems to know what he's thinking.

She extends her hand out for him to take, without hesitation he reaches out. Grasping her hand as she intertwines their fingers, turning away from him she takes off away from the field into the trees, pulling Taehyung behind her. 

He keeps his pace slower than hers so he can take in the surrounding forest, letting her lead him. The forest is beautiful. Trees seem to reach higher than they did on the outside. The canopy high above, blocks out most of the sun, but still lets enough light in to make the forest look like it’s almost glowing.  

The magic of this world was almost too much to be perceived. Was the world worth running through if it didn’t feel like this? Her warmth in his hand, the calming excitement in the air. This was what he wanted to draw breath in, to feel like he was alive again…finally again.

She keeps their speed as they run past  what looks like glowing rock formations in a small clearing. All he can do is take it in, as much as he can. 

His gaze lands back on her as she slows them down. She gives his hand a little tug as they breach the other side of the forest. Light blinds Taehyung momentarily. Blinking rapidly to refocus, he feels a strong breeze rush past him. He brings a hand up to his cheek, feeling a dusting over wetness hit him. 

His eyes adjust and he gasps. 

A cliff's edge, built of rocks lining a racing sea. The sun catches on the surface of the crystal water, making it look outlined with gold. Pastel clouds drift around them, it’s as though they are a part of the sky now. Beneath the water there looks like twinkling stars, glowing softly in red, blue, purple, green, yellow, pink, and somehow..even the dark almost black ones share the same glow.

Looking to his left the cliff was met with dense trees. Almost as if closing off that area of this world. To his right, more trees, but not enough to block anything. Shifting his gaze slightly upward he sees an even taller cliff. This one really seeming to form into the sky. 

He almost cant believe what he’s seeing. 

“This place-” Can he even find the words? 

She pulls him over to the cliffs edge. Seating herself, legs dangling over the water. He sits with her, truly taking it all in, perching there for what felt like forever. 

Even in his anxiously lonely state of being, here it was as if it all melted away. An inability to remember what he was worried about, what scared him or what was causing him so much inner turmoil. Why were his members so lucky to continue living like they haven’t been affected by the global shift. The lockdown separating everything he loved and cherished. 

Every day during their schedules, they still laughed freely. Told light hearted jokes, like his heart wasn’t breaking just sitting with them but not fully connecting anymore. What was he doing wrong? Did they just not feel the pain of it all, were they ok with this forced break? 

Too many questions flooded his brain during the day, second guessing everything they did, everything he did. 

But here….here it was hard to recollect why he cared. 

His gaze drifts over to her not sure of what he’s expecting next but it wasn’t the mischief in her eyes.

He knows that look.

“There’s more isn’t there?” 

Her smile breaks out into a giddy wave as it rushes from her. Before he can ask, all too soon that all too familiar tug in his core is there. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He gets out before he lets himself be pulled back. “Can you show me more?”

Before his eyes flutter softly shut, he sees her nodding at him.

masterlist || 01

[youmyjhope]

Okay I feel safe sharing this here since it’s been a topic on this blog. So last night I dreamt of Tae with some appearances from the others. I don’t remember the circumstances but it was super vivid. We were just talking (I was even saying some Korean words tf?), I’m all giggly and giddy inside and next thing I know I’m sitting in between Taekook. In the back of my head I’m lowkey thinking about lucid dreaming. I look over and while the dream is super vivid all of a sudden Jungkook doesn’t look like himself anymore so I turn to Tae who still does look pretty much like himself and began to panic. I looked down at my hand and do a reality check (MIND YOU IM TERRIFIED OF LUCID DREAMING AND HAVE NEVER DONE ONE WHILE AWAKE), I realize I have 6 fingers and that’s when things got really uncomfortable and I woke up in a panic. The overexcited and not terrified part of my brain tried to start kissing down Tae’s body once I fully realized I was dreaming and that’s the last thing I remember. I woke up and was legitimately unsure if I was back in the real world and it took me a minute to not be scared. 😭

noo why you got scared😭 just remember there's nothing to be scared about, nothing is gonna happen to you. really.

tae was in my dream tonight too, and i swear i never had a more vivid and realistic dream. he was whispering sweet things into my ear with his beautiful beautiful voice... i was leaning on him... i don't remember what he was saying exactly but it was something along the lines of "you want me to ***? you want me to show you?" my heart flutters when i think about it ME AND TAE HAVE A SPECIAL BOND IDC 😭 IT FELT SO SO REAL AND IM NOT EXAGGERATING. it was from a first person pov too 😭😭😭 taeee... like we were really together.

and it was awkward because hobi was there too and i thought it's so dissapointing for him. i mean what do i do when TAE HAS ME WRECKED BY HIS VOICE LIKE THIS 😭 SOMEONE PLS GIVE TAE TO ME I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM NOW!!!

[lucid-dreams-archive]

The Last

It’s their last day at this beautiful paradise, for the last time in their lives, they have each other to love and to hold. They make love for the very last time, both hearts broken, tears falling, lips trembling on every kiss, arms never wanting to let go for tomorrow they will part and be back to reality where they cannot be together, where the possibility of the both of them is impossible. Tomorrow they’d be strangers again, strangers with hearts that beat us one, strangers that were destined to be together but is meant to be apart. How cruel is the world to have let them meet each other when they can’t be in each others arms.

“I want us to stay like this forever.. please”, the woman plead hesitatingly so, pouring every shame she has into those words.

“I want that too, but we can’t... I can’t”, what a coward she might thought he’d be, but if that’s what it takes to protect her then a coward it is he’ll be. The world he lives in is not the world he wants for her, cruel, unforgiving, full of chaos. She’d be torn into pieces the moment she steps in it, scrutinized up to the very last drop of her blood. He stared at her beautiful face, lips parted as he slowly pushed himself deeper, relenting a delicious moan that reverberates from her throat to her core.

“Taehyung.. Faster..” nails digging into his golden honey skin.

“No baby, we only got this night.. I’m gon’ make it last like we have forever..”

[moonchild1]

♡my favourite fics 5.0 ♡

hi everyone here's this weeks list with some more of my absolute favourites, from now on I'll be doing individual lists for each member so I'm still deciding whether to post monthly lists of what I have been reading or just continue with the favourites lists... Yoongi and Taehyung's lists are almost complete so I will post them in the week along with Jungkook and Jins. Majority of the fics contain smut so no minors allowed. Please go and show these authors love and support they are truly amazing and deserve it ♡ feel free to recommend me some fics as well I would love to hear from you so share some of your favourites too especially if it's angst I'm a sucker for angst :)

s- smut a- angst f- fluff

series

Undo by @moonnightyoongi f s a (cheating au)

clandestine by @junghelioseok f s (best friends brother au)

the turing test by @fortunexkookie f s a (android au)

they don’t love you like i love you by @yeojaa f a (exes)

prove a point by @mercurygguk f (Dad jk established relationship au)

play date by @mercurygguk (dad jk)

purple hair dye by @mercurygguk s (established relationship au) ↬jk with purple on the set of buttter need I say more people!!)

black dye by @mercurygguk s (established relationship au)

lost stars by @hueseok f a (roommate au enemies to lovers au)

after midnight by @gyukult f s a (fuck boy jk friends with benefits au)

lovefool by @citrustan f s a

instant gratification by @dovechim s (fuck boy jk)

all I've got by @btsjeonjazz f s a (bad boy jk)

stolen dances by @taeyohonic f s a (ceojk best friend jk my best friend’s wedding meets 27 dresses)

(he)art thief by @latetaektalk f a

Umbrella by @skitsoulmaty f a (strangers to lovers au)

all that glitters by @aquagustd f s a (unrequited love au college au)

one-shot

lucid dream by @growlingyu a (break up au infidelity)

heartbreak veterans by @hueseok f a (strangers to lovers au)

I'm yours by @hueseok (arranged marriage au)

kiss it better by @jincherie s (college/uni au cheerleader!jk pining)

way down in bed stuy by @minstrivia s a (infidelity jk's the oc's sisters boyfriend)

dont go by @jkstompers f a (roommate au)

even a forest fire dies out by @9uk s a (ex-boyfriend jk)

proposals by @pjxmin f s a (friends to lovers)

after hours by @ggukcangetit s

roses, poetry and jeon by @seraphimguks f a (enemies to lovers au)

rented hearts by @army-author f (rent-a-girlfriend au)

beg by @jinfizz f s a (friends to lovers au)

Lock and key by @farfromsugafanfic f a (best friends to lovers)

(not) just friends by @taecalikook f s (friends to lovers au fuck boy jk)

forget him by @yoonpobs a (unrequited love au)

little black book: your kindred spirit by @bluewhale52 s

just one kiss by @bangtsblossom f s

lose somebody by @kooala s a (exes to lovers au)

to all the men i've fucked before by @hisunshiine f s a

heavy metal by @hisunshiine s (fuck buddies)

series

A lovely little mess by @justimajin f s a (friends to lovers au) ft. Jungkook

one-shot

carnival rides by @geniuslab f s (summer carnival au)

last christmas by @xjoonchildx s (exes to lovers au)

perfect by @btssmutgalore f s a (roommate au friends to lovers au)

mine for today by @httpjeon s (fake dating au)

want sum f*ck? by @borathae s (fuck boy jin college au)

Aperitivo by @bangtanbetchfics f s (chef jin chef jk) ft. Jungkook 🤭

home run @jinned f a ft. Jungkook

the courtship chronicles by @gukyi f a (friends to lovers au fake dating au)

start a new by @gukyi f a (exes au)

fire and desire by @joonbird s with some drama (fuck boy jin)

[phenomenalgirl9]

Idol! Yoongi x Reader: Lucid

A/n: It's a bit long Ig, but I poured my heart into this. I used texts for the first time. :)

Summary: What happens when one look at you leads the Min Yoongi to have dreams about you.

----------------------------------------------------

In a Club in Seoul

"Hey Yoongi" Nayeon's voice was heard from behind where Yoongi and Jimin were sitting at the bar, as if on queue Jimin slipped off the stool and went to God knows where, Yoongi cursed under his breath to be left alone with Nayeon.

"Hey Yoongi. Why do you ignore my texts?" She asked.

"I was busy" he mumbled.

"You can't be THAT busy that you could not even answer a text?" She said running a hand on the back of his head and he flinched.

"I was. And do not touch me without asking me. Only my members can do that" with that he got up leaving the visibly "hurt" girl alone to find someone. At this point, anyone!

"Why do you keep rejecting her?" Taehyung asked as he sat beside Yoongi on the rooftop, 2 Clout beers in hand (A/n: yeah i did that 😸).

"Why won't I reject her" Yoongi said, grabbing a beer and taking a swing "I have no interest in her"

"Don't tell me this is about that literal dream girl of yours" Tae said with a chuckle.

"I knew I should have never told you" Yoongi deadpaned.

----------------------------------------------------

In a Restaurant in Ilsan

"Do you have to go!" Minji was heard saying, holding your hand tight.

"It's not my decision Minmin. The boss wants to shift me to the Seoul office" you said with a pout.

"Don't make a fake pout bitch! We know you also wanted to go!" Ryujin said, throwing you a french fry.

"Yes she does of course. Eunkwang is in that office. You better give us all the tea Y/n" Minji mumbled still clinging to your arm and you laughed.

"You guys that's stupid, besides I had a crush on him way back when I went for that 3 weeks project in Seoul and never even spoke much after that" you said, gulping down the soju you had in your glass.

Yes, you've been working in this construction company for the last 3 years, it's been 3 hectic years of you not being able to do much except work, but you were also taking higher degrees along with it, which you were finally done with, hence the promotion to Seoul sounded good.

"What is the first thing you wanna do when you reach Seoul. You'll have a week-long moving break" Ryujin asked interrupting your thoughts.

"Minji and I have a concert to attend" you said smiling at the drunk girl still clinging to you for dear life.

"Yeah I forgot. Enjoy you two!" She said giving your other hand a squeeze.

"I asked you to come too" you whinned

"I have a blind date, I told you before, my parents set me up with someone again" Ryujin said.

"Yeah yeah I know" you said bitterly.

----------------------------------------------------

In Jhamsil Stadium

"She's here!" Jungkook whisper yelled as they walked down the stage to change their dresses.

"Jungkook! Shhh!" Hobi said to lower his voice

"Who? Your mom?" Jimin asked

"No!" He said and went to Yoongi as soon as he completed wearing his outfit for the next stage and said something in his ears to which his eyes were wide and stunned.

----------------------------------------------------

Also in Jhamsil Stadium, (but in the Audience)

Your breath hitched the moment you laid eyes on Jin, your bias, him and the dancers making the most beautiful black swan. His hand along with his wide shoulders wide open and you hit your clapper along with the rest of the Armys in excitement

"Girl, Yoongi has been looking this was so many times! Do you think he recognises you?"

You chuckled at Minji's silliness and said "Of course not Minji, he sees millions of people daily. He wont remember a single face from ages ago. He's probably found some interesting posters"

You both kept on cheering even though not being able to scream was a pain and difficult but you managed it. Especially looking at Jin, the most handsome man on the Earth. It was so difficult to not shout and awe when he sent kisses. But, something about the glaces Yoongi kept throwing toward your side was strange, even Jungkook kept looking at your side, you were after all near the stage. But, you told yourself it was nothing. After the whole concert, you were full of joy to the brim.

----------------------------------------------------

Jhamsil Stadium, (but Backstage)

"They are moving out!" Yoongi exclaimed "I will lose her, again!"

"Calm down Yoongi! We'll do something about this" Jin told the distressed boy.

"I have a plan, don't worry Yoongi, I've got you" Namjoon was heard saying and Yoongi looked up to him.

----------------------------------------------------

Later in the car

"I've gotta say this, At first I thought I was seeing a ghost or something, when Jungkook showed me that girl. I've seen the picture Yoongi hyung got made by the sketch artist so many times, but never knew she was real" Jimin confessed.

Yoongi was heard to scoff. "You guys never listened to me! I told you I saw her"

"Sorry if we didn't believe you saw a girl in a skirt on a chilly night and then started seeing in your dream to be real!" Jimin retorted and added "C'mon we thought, you were going Senile! Even Hobi hyung didn't believe you!"

"Hey" Hobi protested.

"I swear to God-"

"Okay Okay! Calm down, we're almost there, lets call Shihyuk hyung" Namjoon said

"You think he'll help?" Hoseok ask

"Oh I know he will" Namjoon said.

----------------------------------------------------

At Hybe Office (the next afternoon)

"So you're all sure you saw her yesterday, as in she's real?" Hitman Bang asked.

"Ah! I told you this won't work I-" Yoongi started but was stopped by Namjoon

"Hyung, please be patient" Namjoon said.

"I'm sorry Yoongi but this situation of yours is not specifically usual, you see" Hitman Bang pointed out. Yoongi tried to calm himself down cause even he knows the poor man is trying his best to understand

"I have an idea, but first can you pin point the seat she was in?" Hitman Bang asked

"Yeah, she was in the 2nd row, left side of the stage" Jungkook spoke out and everybody looked at him "What? I noticed" he said shrugging.

"Now we need to find the exact seat number through the videos and clips that are there" he said

"Sorry to interrupt but what will you do exactly?" Jimin asked

"Oh I have already started doing it. We have announced a lucky draw for the Tickets" He said

"And?" Taehyung and Jimin asked at the same time.

"We'll choose the specific sear along with the other few. A proof of the ticket and a concert selfie would be required to prove their point, and we'll ask for their contact details" He said

"Superb!" Jin said

"Then? Than what?! I just text her like a weirdo?" Yoongi exclaimed

"Now that, my boy is up to you" Bang PDnim laughed and turned back to his computer.

"First things first, we'll figure what to do later" Namjoon said and ushered the members out.

----------------------------------------------------

XcX Office, Seoul (A Week later)

"The presentation was mind-blowing Y/n" Eunkwang said

"Really?! I felt so nervous this morning" You said and left. Sigh it was your first presentation and you nailed it.

"So what are you doing later after the shift? It's a friday, any plans?" He asked

"No, just stay in and watch Netflix Ig" you said tucking a hair behind your ear.

"There's a restaurant I really like in Hongdae, they have happy hours on friday. Wanna join?" He asked, damn his brown shiny eyes. You'd be lying if you said your "small" crush on him, was not so small in actuality. Unknowingly a smile and a blush crept to your face as you nodded your head.

You were excited for your date, if only you knew.

----------------------------------------------------

In Hongdae

"Seriously hyung, did we have to come all the way here just for shawarma?" Jimin deadpaned

"You know I love specific places for specific food" Jin said, wrapping an arm around the shorter guy.

"Why did I get wrapped up in this" Yoongi said with a huge sigh.

"Oh C'mon Yoongiya breathe some air outside that studio" Jin said and chuckled

The three wore masks and caps, and looked around trying to enjoy a calm friday evening,

They were walking towards the restaurant Jin told them about but Jimin stopped when he saw something.

"Hyung" he called and the two head swiped his way and he pointed at a restaurant rather at two certain people

"Fuck! In all of this mess I completely forgot this possibility" Yoongi said stomping a foot "You guys go on I need to go back to the studio" he was about to go when Jin said.

"And do what? Just write songs! No! We don't even know if they are dating"

"They don't even look that close to be honest" Jimin said

"Don't indulge him" Yoongi told Jimin "I don't want to come in between them, if they have something"

"No of course YOU won't" Jin assured him "but we might? Just check" and with this he pulled Yoongi towards their new destination with Jimin at tow.

They entered the restaurant and tipped the manager off to not let anybody enter the restaurant and the manager accepted when he saw their faces.

"Show time boys" Jin whispered

"Target locked" Jimin said

"This is a very bad idea" Yoongi said while he face palmed, but he couldn't ignore the butterflies he felt in his stomach the moment his eyes landed on her. The one who keeps her away in his dreams. He felt like a school goer looking at his crush. He'd be lying if he didn't feel like throwing that guy off the chair and sit himself, talk to you, get to know you.

He shook his head and went to sit, yes of course they chose to sit at the table right next to you and if that wasn't enough, Jimin turned and said "Hello" to her when she were staring at them.

Yoongi heard a whisper from Jin saying something about "Mission Successful"

----------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile

(I've never made texts. Please bear with me.)

"Wouldn't you wanna go grab a picture?" Eunkwang asked with a slide smile.

"I actually do" you said shyly.

"Then what are you waiting for?! Let's get you a picture with BTS!" he said and the both of you grabbed your phones and went there way.

"Hello" You said.

"Hi!" Jin chirped,

Damn he's more handsome up front

"Thanks" he said

"Sorry? What? Did I say that out loud?" You asked embarrassed.

"No. But your eyes tell that you were admiring me" he said and laughed a bit.

Yoongi was seen shaking his head. You smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Are you guys enjoying the evening?" You asked

Yoongi nodded and Seokjin said something about the weather being so good and you wanted to ask them where Jimin was but couldn't.

"Is that guy your boyfriend?" Jin suddenly whisper asked

"Hyung!" Yoongi sneered

"No, no! He's just a friend" you said smiling

"Good. You can do better" you heard Jimin saying from behind Jin.

"Sorry I was in the washroom" he said "Hello I am Jimin, what... Is your name?" He suddenly said in english and extended his hand. And you giggled and said "My name is Yn, its nice to meet you" in english and shook his hand.

"Now we can click a picture" Jin announced, and you stood between Jin and Jimin with Yoongi beside them as Eunkwang clicked a picture. After congratulating them on PTD and complementing each of them, you went back to your table and they went to theirs.

"It's good that there weren't many customers to start off or it would have been chaos by now" you told Eunkwang

"Yeah I heard the manager telling the ones before you to not upload the picture right away. But you seemed to be talking quite much with them" he said smiling

"Yeah, they are really easy to talk to." You said.

"Apart from the pale one" Eunkwang commented.

"Yoongi? No he's just quiet" you smiled to yourself.

The day was an actual dream and you thanked Eunkwang 1,876 times for taking you there even if it was a coincidence.

You sent the picture to Rats and they went crazy. You were happy and content, you decided to rest and chill the weekend. You were about to enter your house and were searching for the keys, when a paper hit your fingers. You felt strange because you didn't remember putting it there, you brought it out and found it to be a note, it said:

Call me: XXXX-XXXX

What the hell? You thought.

----------------------------------------------------

In the Bangtan Dorm

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Yoongi asked in surprise "What made you think she'll text?! What made you think she can be trusted?!" He added

"I have a feeling she will and the rest is up to you. You're a smart man hyung figure it out" Jimin said

"I am doomed" Yoongi sighed

"Hyung, it's not that bad. Just talk to her and get to know her then tell her okay" Jungkook said

"That is IF she texts" Yoongi said.

"She will" Jimin said with a gleam in his eyes "I believe in the power of love"

"Aww Jimin ssi" Jungkook coo and said "But, I feel it too, there must be a reason why she shows up at your dreams"

"She was really fun to talk too as well" Jimin added, and the two got engaged in their own conversation when Yoongi stood up and walked out of the room.

----------------------------------------------------

And they both started talking, Yn told Jungmin a little about her self and Jungmin told her about himself. They both strangely found it easy to talk to each other. Yn got to know that Jungmin was a producer and loved music. Jungmin got to know that Yn is an interior designer for a leading construction company. She's like an architect but for the insides of hotels, restaurants and public places.

She got to know that Jungmin doesn't like working but realised that when he does work, he doesn't know how to stop. But the guy loves to nap, almost like a cat.

He got to know about her friends and how she sometimes misses her parents back at Ilsan. He also knows how much she loves pop music and loves this band called BTS. Yn knows that being a music producer himself, even Jungmin was a fan of their music.

----------------------------------------------------

3 months later

Jungmin and Yn often spoke on the phone, even though Yn insisted Jungmin never facetimed and said that he was shy. She had no idea what he looked like, but Jungmin had become an important part of her day. Jungmin was a busy guy, but he still looked out time to text her and Yn found that endearing, but she hoped that she could actually meet Jungmin soon.

----------------------------------------------------

Genius Lab, Hybe Building

"Hyung? Which base do you like?" Namjoon asked, Jimin sitting beside him. The younger boy sets down his switch and glances at Yoongi who has headphones on and is typing away on his phone. And of course he sneaked up behind him and peaked at the contact name and gasped.

"OH MY GOD! This is why you turned down Shihyuk hyung when he offered you her number because you had it!" Jimin said

"Yeah he did, he's actually smitten for her" Namjoon said

"You knew?" Jimin said

"Yes, only Namjoon and Hobi knew" Yoongi muttered.

"Tell me everything or I'll tell Jin hyung right now" Jimin threatened and Namjoon almost shook in his seat imagining Jin's rap scolding and said "No. No. Hyung will tell you, don't tell Jin hyung"

And Jimin smirked and Yoongi went on with the story.

"Jungmin?! You said your name was Jungmin?! Couldn't you get a better name!" Jimin exclaimed

"You and Jungkook were the only ones in front of me so it happened, okay!" Yoongi said sinking into his chair "But I think I'm gonna meet her" He declared

"Are you sure?" Namjoon asked

And Yoongi nodded "I trust her"

"All the best hyung" Jimin said.

----------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------

A few days later

To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were probably shaking with nervousness and excitement. You were gonna meet Jungmin, finally. But for some reason he told you to be patient and not get freaked out. Did he look strange? That's not a problem? Is he an alien?! That thought made her laugh.

You reached the cafe that Jungmin had told you. He said he'd be in a black tshirt and black cap. You noticed such a figure inside. But, the nearer you went the nearer you saw him and when he looked up at you, your world stopped

"Yn" he called your name and it sounded like honey to your ears.

"Jungmin?" You still asked in amazement. You thought of a lot of possibilities but this one never popped into your mind.

"I can explain Yn" he said and you nodded for him to go on as you took a seat. "I remember you, from the 2019 concert when we had eye contact. That night the moment our eyes met when I was in my car and you were standing outside, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I kept staring almost like a creep until the car turned and you went out of my sight. I couldn't sleep properly for days I kept dreaming of you. Everyday, I saw you, but could never get close to you, in my lucid dreams. But then you came to the concert and I saw a new ray of hope" and Yoongi told you the rest.

"So, Jungmin comes from Jungkook and Jimin's names right?" You said smiling and continued, "I understand why you did what you did. I kinda forgive you" you said and found the kitty boy beaming and it's obvious the two of you had a great time. He dropped you home and you were in a daze.

----------------------------------------------------

The boys found Yoongi laughing a bit more these days. The music he made had a sign of that. He seemed genuinely happier. Meanwhile, Yn was seen to smile a bit brighter.

Meeting Yoongi, facetiming Yoongi, having at least one Yoongi activity daily had become a part of you day. To a level that on the days you didn't hear of Yoongi, you felt incomplete.

Yes, you had a huge crush on this Kitty boy and hoped that his dreams and everything actually meant something.

Within moments you heard a knock on your door and you ran and opened it and were pulled into a hug. He pulled away and looked into your eyes and asked "You meant that?"

"every word of it" you said and you didn't need to say again, he could see it in your eyes and so you could see the amount of love and adoration he held for you in his eyes.

And he pulled you in a soft kiss, it was soft but it held all the feelings that the two of you had for each other.

Yes, the boy ended up cuddling with you night long and left early in the morning for schedules.

----------------------------------------------------

Other Works

Taglist: @jung-nika-hoseok @bbl32

Comment or send an ask if you wanna be my permanent tag member for BTS or the others too.

[kookiecrumb]

May I request you where Tae had these lucid dreams where he kept dreaming of a pretty face and he can't help but paint her and share it in his IG like he always does? And just one day randomly he saw her while he doing his business(idk like he's in a cafe, bookstore or something) and after that post, people have been tagging you speculating that maybe you guys dating or something. And that's where found out little something about you and texted you

Okay listen here. I had this exactly idea for nearly the same plot in my old friend's dms and I abandoned the idea because it felt like it was missing something, but this was PERFECT.

I deleted our dms though...I don't care. I'll rewrite it. Absolutely.

I really don't like social media aus, so I'm going to maybe make Tae an actual artist and make people contact her by word of mouth about it because he's really well-known. This is set in France cause I said so.

Perhaps her friends go to an art show and mention to him that you look like his muse...

Anyways! Here you are.

kth || Muse

Taehyung jumped awake. His palms rubbed into the sockets of his eyes, the dizzying feeling of amnesia overcoming him. He snatched his curtains open, hunching over himself. The sun bathed the room.

The very first thought of you conjured in his mind, a memory that cut through the mental fog. A vivid image, a beautiful woman with warm, captivating eyes and a glowing smile upon her supple lips appeared.

Suddenly, his heart softened. He fell back upon his feathery bed, sighing. Frankly, he was slightly flustered. In his dream, you seemed to fly like an angel above the flowered valleys under an endless sky.

It happened again. It was you again.

He glowed, reminiscing on his previous visions of his Goddess, his Muse.

Taehyung was an enigma from the beginning of his career, though it did cause an air of intimidation within the atmosphere of the humble classroom. There was not a time when he didn't grab the attention from everybody in the room instantly with his attention to detail. Each curve, each crevice, each dip of his model's figure was perfectly captured, through only his earthy hands.

 He had achieved mastery of multiple art mediums, his favorite being life charcoal drawings. 

The way his fingers scraped the canvas to capture the most intimate of details in a single stroke was no doubt one of the most incredible things anyone has ever witness.

He uses his talent to depict you.

In various positions-- some romantic, most sexual...all captivating ruminations of your glowing visage. It excited him in every sense.

His heart, his body, and his mind belonged to the idea of you.

The media was just as excited about Taehyung's artistic debut in Paris. It was known that he taught an anatomy course in the south of France before he quit to follow his ambition of becoming an artist.

That's when the idea of you first crossed his mind. He was enlightened by your unwavering beauty and felt the need to express his passion immediately.

The result of this relentless expression was the attention of some of the top art critics in France.

They wanted his work in the museums and had the connections to get him there. With one phone call, Taehyung would debut as a real Parisian artist.

He'd departed for New York soon afterwards, in search for a moment of much-needed solitude.

The spectacle of his work rendered people all over the country speechless-- including one of your dear friend, Joanne, who was on a European vacation when she spotted the spitting image of her bestie hanging up near the Lourve.

This was unsettling to say the least. If you had a new hot Parisian boyfriend, she'd be the first to know, right? Right.

Just in case, though, she didn't message you right away. She needed to investigate!

She needed to find this guy. Luckily, underneath the title of the painting of you completely naked, draped over a sofa like you were Rose from the Titanic, there was a website! How convenient.

Joanne arrived at her hotel room that night and went snooping on his Instagram. It looked like his entire discography was pictures of her best friend-- you, either partially or completely nude, smiling at the onlooker.

At that point, she pulled out her phone and started typing. "Y/N~ you never told me you had a smoking hot Korean boyfriend from Paris~"

It was still 3 AM in New York, so of course you wouldn't read it until the next morning while getting your morning coffee.

You were very, very confused while waiting in line for your cold brew, though. "Ummm," you messaged back, "I don't???"Jo never texted back right away, so you had time.

You're actually more concerned with this guy who won't stop stealing glances at you from the front of the store.

He was cute, so you didn't mind, but...still questionable.

Your coffee was ready, and you had hours before your next class, so you decided to figure out why Mr.Tall Dark and Handsome here was giving you the goo-goo eyes.

You decided to be bold. Setting your bag on a nearby chair, you sat across from him and smiled. "Hey~ why do you keep staring at me~ its kinda weird~"

"Oh! Is it? Fuck," he laughs. "It's simply that you're pretty." His smile charms you. It's very compelling.

He is screaming inside. If he admits that he has been painting you without knowing it was you in his French apartment for two years now, that would be...incredibly awkward, suspicious, even.

God.

You furrow your eyebrows. "That's it? I don't have food in my teeth or anything?" You joke.

Taehyung shakes his head softly, setting down his cappuccino. "Non, non."

"Okay, well...thank you." You rise from your seat and walk away.

Going home, you can't shake the feeling that there's something you're missing though, so you press Joanna for an explanation later that day.

-

Taehyung freaked back at the apartment.

At least five years of mysterious dreams and two years of meticulous painting to recreate those dreams have manifested themselves in front of him.

He paced the room like a mad man, holding his paintbrushes, his fist clenched around them. He contemplated his next step. He needed to confront you at some point, but how the fuck would you even word such a confrontation?

The answer was that he didn't have to. That evening, a knock was heard at the door and he answered it promptly.

You stood at his door, arms crossed, a puzzled look on your face.

"Who let you up here?" Taehyung scanned through hallway, suddenly out of breath.

"I know people. It's not important!" You exclaim. Looking into his apartment, it's very evident that this was indeed your culprit. It was simply covered in stunning and expensive-looking art pieces. "How come you-- how have you seen me naked?!" You whisper-yell at him.

Taehyung bites his lip and grunts out an answer you can't quite make out.

You squint and request that he clarify.

"I've just had dreams about you for the past...half a decade. You probably don't know me--"

"You're right! I don't!"

"-- you didn't let me finish! But...I know you."

"How exactly...do you know me?" You inquire. This an intriguing circumstance and you simply must know more.

"We've gone out. In...my mind. Fuck, it might be a stretch but...You've lived here your whole life, right? You hate rock candy and the color yellow because it's just too bright...a shame because you look so so good in it and--" he sighs.

Your face transforms into a soft realization. "Really? You're not stalking me then."

"No...of course not, Y/N. I just didn't think you were real this whole time." He sets down his brushes on his counter and gestures for you to come in.

You do.

[raplinesmoon]

Also I’m the same anon who just read on the ropes!

The way you wrote Seokjin as a character 😩😘it made complete utter sense. he wasn’t just the funny guy he had depth and was conceived as a guy who had emotion as well so I LOVED IT😁

Hi On the Ropes anon (that is a mouthful, would you like me to call you something else?) 🥰

You don’t understand, OTR!Seokjin has my entire heart. I actually dreamt up the plot of the fic over a couple of weeks (lucid dreaming hehe 👀), and I just kept coming back to his character as the cornerstone of everything. I wanted to do exactly what you said, create a layered, complex Seokjin who was capable of emotions beyond cracking dad jokes. Not that funny Seokjin isn’t great, but I kind of think back to this one time the boys were asked who was the most romantic and I think Taehyung said Jin? I really saw his character as someone who struggled a lot in life, but also, no joke, falling in love with OC was life changing for them. Not just because of their situation, but also because the two of them, regardless of whether they ended up together or not, would forever inspire this cosmic shift in the other that rendered them unable to live life as they had previously.

It’s funny because I was actually thinking of them the other day and if you’ve read the epilogue, you know how things work out for them. But I wrote down this little scene of them, some time at 3:41am.

pairing: ex-boxer!Seokjin x lawyer!reader (from On The Ropes)

genre(s): fluff, slight angst

au(s): established relationship

word count: 425

warnings: wondering about what ifs

rating: pg (the OTR universe is 18+ in general)

a/n: I lowkey imagined this scene between them where they’re together after the 3 years apart, and just lying in bed (after some marathon sex ofc), and this is just what happens:

*spoilers below the cut if you haven’t read*

You feel Seokjin shift next to you, his warm palms coming to wrap around you waist, pulling you closer to him until you’re both a tangle of limbs, unable to tell where he ends and you begin. His faint breath fans across your neck, and right here, in his arms, you feel the safest you ever have. If home was a person, it’d be Kim Seokjin.

You hear his breath hitch, catching in his throat before he begins to speak. His voice rumbles, and a pleasant warmth settles into your body despite the chilly night air.

“What would you have done?” He asks. “If we’d never found each other again?”

You go limp in his arms, dread settling in at his question. That was a situation you’d never wanted to fathom happening to either of you. But you think back to those uncertain months before you’d found him again, and how you’d never managed to make your peace with the loss of his presence in your life.

You’d been okay, no doubt, doing better for yourself ,finally out of the rut that had plagued you for years. But your soul still felt fractured, as if there would forever be a tiny chip in the delicate glass walls that held your heart, one that would never be able to be repaired. Even if you could move on and live the happiest life you’d imagined, part of you would always belong to him.

Shaking your head, you let out a heavy sigh, not wanting to worry Seokjin this late at night. The two of you had more than enough creases and lines marring your once youthful faces.

“Jagiya,” you whisper against his ear, and immediately feel him melt, arms tightening around you. “I found you again. That’s what matters, right? And every day, I don’t take that for granted.”

Although you can’t see him smile, you feel it, his lips ghosting against your temple.

“I know,” he responds. “But for what it’s worth , ___, you were it for me. I’m not sure I would have ever been able to love someone else like I love you. Even Sooyoung. Everything I’d ever wanted, everything I’d seen my parents have, I wanted it with you. I still want it with you.”

Turning in his arms, you press a soft kiss to his lips, and the two of you linger for a few moments, lost in the feeling of each other. You’d never be able to get enough.

“Good thing we have nothing to worry about then, right?”

“Right.”

[ggukkieland]

📕BTS Fic Reads - 2021 January Pt 1

A lot of new fics and old favorites I was in the mood to read again 🥰

Fics are not mine. Credits go to all the writers. Please show them love 💖 by reblogging or commenting on their work 🥰.

Note: if link doesn’t work, click on author and go to their masterlist

🥕Ongoing - most recent chapter [as of date this list was posted] 🥕Completed - completed one shots | series 🌹 S - smut | F - fluff | A - angst 🌷 posted a reaction/commentary on completed fics

🥕[Ongoing Series]

Belong @v-hope​​ - KTH | smau | Enemies to Lovers, Roommate AU, artist!Taehyung x heiress!reader | A, F, humor ~ [updates Wed & Sat]

Calculated @whatifyoulivelikethat​​ - JJK | 18.4k | Noona AU, basically responsible TA learns how to get wild courtesy of Dom!JK 😁| S, F 

01 02 03

Ego Killer @zibermuda​​ - JJK | 21.4k  | Fuckboy AU, Enemies to Lovers, FWB AU, College AU | S, A, F ~ [2/3]

01 02 

Just One @jungxk​​ - JJK | 60.6k | Fuckboy AU, College AU | S, F, A ~ [8/10] 

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08  

Mars @to-star-lake​​ - KTH | 18.6k | Ahistorical AU, Military AU, kind of Enemies to Lovers | A, S, F ~ [4/?]

01 02 03 04

Netflix & Chill Series @1kook​​ - JJK | 106.1k, so far | Blind Date AU,  Established Relationship | S, F, A ~ [9/?] + [9 drabbles]

Fragrances @jj-ktae​​​ - JJK | 10k, so far | Perfumery AU, Music Composer AU | A, F ~ [2/?]

Plot Twist @kimnjss​​ - KNJ | smau | Idol AU, Rapper AU, Rich Girl AU, Enemies to Lovers | A, S, F ~ [updates daily]

Pretty Boy Drabble Series @angelguk​​ - JJK | aka jock!jk, Bestfriend AU, Established Relationship AU | S, F, A ~ [7 drabbles, so far]

Sh @wwilloww​​ - OT7 | 25k | Wilderness AU, Friends to Lovers, Poly AU |  S, A [4/?] 

01 02 03 04

🥕[Completed Fics/Series]

Namjoon 

By The Moonlight  @hobeemin​​ - drabble | 1k | Fantasy, Humor, Sailor Moon AU, Anime AU | 🌷  (so funny 😂)

Reverie @minstrophywife​​ - one shot | 5.2k | Sci-Fi AU, Lucid Dreams AU | A, F, S  🌷

Underground King  @sugaxjpg​​ - one shot | 13.4k | Boxer AU, Gang AU | S, slight A 🌷

Seokjin 

...cause I Iike you?! @scriptaed​​ - drabble | 2.1k | Enemies to Lovers | F 🌷

Blurred Lines  @yoonia​​ - series | 25.9k | Teacher AU, Tattooed Biker!Jin, Bar AU | S ~ [3/3] 🌷

01 02 03

What We Left Behind @suhdays​​ - one shot | 9k | Exes AU, Travel AU | A, F

Yoongi

Inevitable @btsarmy9593​​ - drabble | 1.7k | Mafia AU, Childhood Friend, Bar AU | F, A  🌷

Litost @ethertae​​ - one shot | 7.8k | Enemies (to Lovers?) | S x A = hate sex 🌷 (I’ve read this years ago and I am so glad I found it again 🥰]

She’s not Afraid @moononthejoon​​ - series | smau with written parts | fwb AU, College AU | A, F, S   ~ [31/31]

Stay High  @personasintro​​ - one shot | 16.5k | Exes AU, inspired by Tove Lo ‘s Habits (so expect toxic behavior) | S, A  🌷 

Hoseok 

Covenant + Repose @junghelioseok​​ - one shot + drabble | 17.7k | Werewolf AU, Bestfriends to Lovers, Arranged Marriage AU | 🌷

The Talent Finder @threeletterslife​ - one shot | 10.5k | Musician AU, kind of Supernatural (OC can see person’s calling) | F, A 

War & Peace @out-of-jams​ - one shot | 9.9k | ABO dynamics, alpha!hoseok, omega!reader, Enemies to Lovers | F (this is really cute) 

Jimin

He’s Pretending + drabble @crystaljins​​ - one shot | 4.9k | Faerie Reader x Demon Jimin, Enemies to Lovers, Fantasy AU | F 🌷

Nine One One @yminie​​​ - series | 41.2k | Exes AU, Detective AU, Crime AU | A, F, S ~ [3/3]

01 02 03

Rules Of The Game @probablypjm​​ - one shot | 6.7k | Dom!Jimin, Office AU, Slytherin Jimin, Hufflepuff Reader, MMF with Yoongi | S, A, slight F

Taehyung

Aquarium  by whatifyoulivelikethat - two shot | 6.8k | Breakup AU, Strangers to Lovers, about Healing | A, F [2/2]

01 (Jungkook) 🌷  | 02 (Taehyung)  🌷

Black Waltz @jimlingss​​ - two shot | 26.8k | Butler AU, Historical AU | F, A  [2/2]  🌷 

01 02

Curtain @btssmutgalore​ - one shot | 4.8k | exhibitionism, (kinda) Strangers to Lovers | S 

Love Me or We Both Go Down @gukyi​ - one shot | 32k | Arranged Marriage AU, Enemies to Lovers | F, A, S 🌷

The Snow King @bloomsuga - one shot | 25k | Fantasy AU, Royalty AU, Arranged Marriage AU | F, A, S 

Jungkook

Ancient History by moononthejoon - one shot | 12.8k | part of the Playlist series, Exes AU, Actors AU | A, F, S  🌷

A Quarter Past Us @jjiimin​ - one shot | 13.8k | Exes AU, Breakup AU | A, F 🌷

Brat Taming @sugasbabiie​ - one shot | 8.2k | Fuckboy AU, Roommates AU, Enemies to Lovers, Tattoo Artist!JK, Noona AU | S, A, F

Casual @omot7​ - series | smau with written chapters| idiots to lovers AU,  College AU | A, S, F ~ [20/20]

Concealed Weapon @gimmesumsuga​ - one shot | 10k | Established Relationship, Husband AU, Mafia AU, Assassin AU(?) | S, PWP 🌷 (probably the 4th time I’ve read this 💦😝)

Confidential @sincerelyourfangirl​ - one shot | 4.2k | Secret Agent AU | S, F 🌷

Cut Me Loose  @dreamyjoons​ - one shot | 3.6k | fwb AU, Rebound AU 😭 , Unrequited (?) Love | A, S, F (the ending reminded me of Say Anything boombox scene lol)

Heartbreaker With A Heart Of Gold @filmflowersbangtan​ - one shot | 3.8k | Rockstar AU, Exes AU | A, S, F 🌷

Hot Boy Bummer @jungkxook​ - one shot | 14.6k | Bestfriend AU, fwb AU, Fuckboy AU | S, A, F 🌷 

Make It Right by jungkxook - one shot | 11.5k | part of the Melodrama Tour series, Band AU, Exes AU | A, S, F 

Mango by whatifyoulivelikethat - series | 13.2k | A love story between bad boy Jeon Jungkook and a strange girl with mango eating obsession. | A, F, S 🌷 (it’s a healing type of fic, I love this so much 🥰)

01 02 03 04

May 31 @jeonjeonggukenergy​ - one shot | 5k | Roommate AU, College AU, a different take on “there’s only one bed” | S, F 🌷 (second time reading this!)

Microwave Misadventures  @bymoonchild​ - one shot | 20k | Roommates AU, Enemies to Lovers, College AU | A, F, S 🌷 (this was one the fics that launched my love for roommates x E2L combo years ago)

Pop Goes The Cherry @1oserjk​ -  drabble-ish? | 3.8k | Brother’s Best Friend AU, Childhood Friends AU, virgin!reader | A 🌷

Safety Net @pradaksj​ - two shot | 40k | Boxer AU, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Roommates AU | A, F, S 

01 02

Sex Education 2.0 @extravaguk​ - sequel | 9k | Established Relationship AU, Brother’s Best Friend AU | F, S, A 🌷 (sequel is even better and Part 1 is already great 🤗)

Somnolent  @forgottenpasta​ - drabble | 3k | Roommates AU, Friends to Lovers | pure FLUFF 🌷 (an old favorite)

Sugarplum Energy by bymoonchild - one shot | 17.9k | fwb AU, College AU, Soundcloud Singer AU, Idiots to Lovers AU, secret identity | S, A, F 🌷 (a re-read 🥰)

The Likelihood Of Being On Your Mind by jjiimin - one shot | 18.2k | Childhood Friends AU, Neighbors AU, slight Enemies to Lovers, College AU | F, A 

The Lonely Hearts Club @vantaenims​ - one shot | 17.5k | College AU, Friends to Lovers | A, F (erm, poor Koo? 😭)

The Tutor by sugasbabiie - one shot | 4.1k | Jock AU, Tutor AU | S, F 

Way Down In Bed Stuy @minstrivia​ - one shot | 5k | Sister’s Boyfriend AU, Infidelity AU | S, A 🌷 (a re-read)

The Weeb Kook Collection @himbojk - drabble series | 29k | College AU, nerd koo x popular girl | S, F, A 🌷 [4/4 + seasonal drabbles]

🥕posted: 2021 Jan 23 🥕link to other reading lists  | Jan Part 2  🌹 I love to read so feel free to recommend a fic =

[shadowofahope]

Lucid - masterlist

Premise: What if this lucid dream isn't his? What if he isn't the only one brought here? What if she's the one deciding? Either way, she never speaks a word.

Warnings: None

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader

Authors notes: This story is super complex and is a lot harder for me to write. Bear with me, I'm unsure of the update schedule for this work!

Sneak peak

Chapter 1 - Dormiveglia

Chapter 2 - Latibule

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

[whats-k-popping]

Appa's Sick Day (Part 2)

Summary: Taehyung was never one to turn down a challenge. He took a deep breath to remind himself it would all pass. This was all temporary. Nothing he couldn’t persevere through. Eventually, Jungkook would be better and everything would be back to normal.

Pairing(s): Taekook- Married with kids AU || Allusions to Yoonmin

Warnings: Emeto || Graphic descriptions of illness || high fever/delusions || crying/minor panic

Word Count: 4573

See Also: part one

Taehyung wasn't all that surprised when Jungkook's condition worsened. Jungkook had a history of roller coaster type illnesses that would knock him out for days. It would start off small. He would wake up feeling sick. Just like anyone else feels sick- common, easily managed at-home symptoms. Then after some simple care, he’d start to say he's feeling better. Which Taehyung knew to be a bad sign. When Jungkook started to believe he was feeling better, Taehyung knew that all the symptoms were on pause, biding time to charge up and hit him like a truck all at once. Taehyung knew it was best to get Jungkook to sleep when he starts feeling "better." He knew sleep was what Jungkook needed most. And even if Jungkook didn’t really understand why Taehyung was so pushy for him to sleep, he never fought when Taehyung was looking down at him with such a caring smile and those long beautiful lashes fluttering against his cheek.

Taehyung knew best. Taehyung had seen it all before. After the pseudo-recovery always came the fever spikes. They're sudden and unshakable. Jungkook was always so disoriented during these spikes, he doesn't even remember them. Sometimes they last a few hours, sometimes they last a whole day. Rarely, they fluctuate for several days, leaving Taehyung feeling desperate and hopeless. But when it finally breaks, Jungkook just assumed he'd slept through the whole elapsed time. Taehyung had never had the heart to tell Jungkook otherwise.

So he had allowed Jungkook to cling to the idea that he's healed himself through the sheer power of sleep. Because Jungkook doesn't need to know about all the scream-inducing fever dreams or the delusional statements or the debilitating aches that leave him unable to even lift his own head off the pillow. Jungkook doesn't need to know about the countless trips to the bathroom to prepare cool damp rags. Jungkook doesn’t need to know about the rotating fever patches plastered to his always boiling forehead or the crushed up fever reducers he mixes with water for those few lucid moments Jungkook can actually swallow by himself. He doesn't need to know how closely Taehyung holds him when he's shaking like a leaf with sobs over something from a dream that he can’t explain. And he can never know that sometimes Taehyung cried with him because he just felt so useless in those moments. Those were all Taehyung's secret burdens to bear.

So he’s not surprised when only an hour after Jungkook had fallen asleep, Jungkook is in the clutches of his first fever spike. And Taehyung, a true man of his word, kept right by Jungkook's side as the man tossed and turned in a fitful rest. He was muttering and mumbling, but Taehyung couldn't for the life of him figure out exactly what the other was saying. Whatever he was dreaming of, it must have been upsetting. Jungkook's small strained voice sounded so hurt, devastated even. Taehyung watched as sweat formed on Jungkook's brow, sliding rapidly down his face because the surface was already so slick. Jungkook's face twisted and contorted in sadness and pain as he slurs what were probably meant to be sentences. He saw the damp outline of his husband's shape on the sheets. Sweat stained every possible crevice leaving their bed sheets looking like a wet chalk outline in a murder documentary.

Taehyung remembered reading somewhere many years ago that you're not supposed to wake someone from a fever dream, no matter how much distress they appear to be in. It shattered Taehyung's heart every time he had to see his love so miserable. All he could offer were gentle comfort touches to the feverish skin and smooth strokes to his sweat-slicked locks. The fever would break. The panic would pass. And Jungkook would be good as new before he even knew what hit him, quite literally. Taehyung had to hold on to that. He couldn't let himself feel so hopeless in such a hopeless situation. He blinked away the threat of tears pooling in his eyes. He could get through this.

Taehyung pulled the blankets so far down the bed that Jungkook wouldn’t be able to mindlessly pull them up. He started preparing essential materials, running to the sink to get a bin of ice water and several rags prepared. He dipped them in the ice water, loosely wringing them out so they don't lose their chill, and placed them on every visible portion of Jungkook's body. Carefully so not to startle the sleeping sick man, he laid one along his forehead, another over the back of his neck. One rested on the backs of his knees, another along the small of his back. Taehyung then kept one for himself to dab at particularly sweaty areas of skin and brush through his soaked hair. When Jungkook woke up, Taehyung would try to get Jungkook to sit in the tub, to help bring the fever down and wash away the sweat. It would also be an opportunity for Taehyung to change the bed sheets.

Taehyung was in the middle of drying Jungkook’s hair when he heard Haein start to coo for attention through the baby monitor. He knew that eventually those coos would turn into cries if he wasn't quick enough to soothe the infant. And he knew that if Haein started crying, Joongi would wake up as well, cranky that he didn't get to complete his nap. A sick husband and two fussy kids was more than Taehyung could handle. And with the state Jungkook was in, it was basically like having a third fussy kid. He didn't want to leave Jungkook's side while he was whimpering so desperately, but he had to tend to their baby.

This particular scenario was new territory for Taehyung. Jungkook hadn’t gotten so miserably sick in years. Not since before Joongi was born. Nothing more severe than a simple cold anyway. He wasn’t sure how he was going to manage taking care of Jungkook and making sure their kids were taken care of as well. He was only one man after all. He knew that Joongi would try to help the best he could, but at some point his help would become more of a hindrance. And Taehyung didn’t want Joongi to see their father so sick.

But Taehyung was never one to turn down a challenge. He took a deep breath to remind himself it would all pass. This was all temporary. Nothing he couldn’t persevere through. Eventually, Jungkook would be better and everything would be back to normal. With that in mind, he steeled his resolve and went to comfort Haein.

The trip to the family room was quick. He scooped up the baby with practiced ease and rushed to the kitchen to prepare a bottle for the child, bouncing him on his hip all the while to keep him entertained. Bottle secured and baby satisfied, Taehyung peeked to make sure that Joongi was still sleeping. He let out a relieved sigh at the sight of his oldest cuddling up to a stuffed animal still sound asleep and undisturbed.

When he returned to his room, he sat on the edge of the bed. One arm wrapped carefully around the infant and the other holding the warm bottle to the child’s lips. Maybe after filling his stomach with the warm bottle, Haein would fall back to sleep. Taehyung was hopeful, turning his attention back to Jungkook who somehow managed to pull the covers back over himself in his absence. Taehyung clicked his tongue and immediately removed the covers, afraid his husband would bake himself alive.

Jungkook groaned as the covers were removed, "'S too cold." He whined, visibly rattling with chills, "We never should have moved to Antarctica. I don’t care how much you love penguins. That was a bad decision. Why did I let you make that decision."

Taehyung couldn’t tell if Jungkook was trying to make a joke or being genuinely upset about their fantasy decision to move to the south pole. He couldn’t even remember a single time he’d ever given an opinion on penguins in all their years together. He opted to ignore the statement completely, “I know you’re cold, Kookie. But you can’t have the blankets. You have a fever and we need to bring that down.”

Jungkook just groaned in response, reaching for some type of body covering. Along the way, he started removing the damp rags that Taehyung had laid across him, muttering about how they were made of ice and making him more cold. The mutters died off as Jungkook drifted back to sleep.

Haein finished the bottle and didn't seem the slightest bit drowsy. Taehyung huffed but was thankful at least the infant wasn't crying. He set the child down in the cradle with a pacifier and placed a trail of kisses across his cheeks. Haein giggled and was content to just play with his own toes.

Taehyung wandered over to the bed and pressed the back of his hand to Jungkook's sweaty forehead. His fever seemed to be getting higher by the minute. He took it upon himself to apply a few fresh rags to Jungkook's sweaty skin and wipe away as much excess sweat as he could. He left for a moment to retrieve a thermometer to get a more accurate reading.

As Taehyung re-entered the room, Jungkook jolted up from the bed without warning and heaved a mouthful of thick, white sick into his lap. Taehyung immediately recognized it as the undigested remnants of the jook Jungkook ate earlier. He was by Jungkook's side in an instant, rubbing his back and pulling back his long strands of hair while simultaneously trying to contain the mess. He’d have to get Jungkook in the bath sooner than anticipated.

“Sry, I mus’av had too much to drink.” Jungkook slurred all the words together, cheeks puffing out in anticipation of a second wave.

“No, love, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re not drunk. You’re sick.” Taehyung explained softly, though the explanations would fall on deaf ears. While he was skeptical a few minutes ago, Taehyung finally had confirmation. Jungkook had officially reached delusional stages of his fever. Logic and reasoning were off the table.

“Sick? No,” Jungkook whined, “I can’t be sick. I have classes tomorrow. I’ve already skipped chem 4 times this semester.” Jungkook started to panic, hyperventilating from the shock.

Taehyung was just as shocked. Jungkook has been out of uni for 10 years. Taehyung isn’t sure if he should try to argue with Jungkook or if he should just play along. “Jagiya, listen love, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“No!” Jungkook whined, drawing out the syllable and pushing Taehyung away from him, “Only Taehyung can call me jagiya. You can’t call me that. TaeTae will be mad.”

Taehyung’s heart clenched at the realization that in that moment, his husband did not recognize him. He knew it was the fever talking, muddling his thoughts and distorting his reality. But he didn’t want to acknowledge a reality where he wasn’t married to Jungkook. A single tear slipped from the corner of his eye and he hastily wiped it away.

He sought some solace in the fact that even through the fever haze, Jungkook knew that Taehyung cherished him. He remembered back to his jealous moments early in their relationship. “Okay, Jungkookie. I won’t call you that. But I need you to calm down, okay. Can you do that for hyung?” Hopefully Jungkook wouldn’t argue against calling him hyung. He didn’t want to have to be formal with his husband. It didn’t feel right to him. They had always been close, forgoing formal speech almost immediately after introductions.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whined again, clenching his stomach and lurching forward with an unproductive gag. “I don’t feel good.”

“Do you think you’re going to throw up again?” Jungkook nodded, followed by a sickly burp. Taehyung would swear he could hear the gurgling of vomit creeping up Jungkook’s esophagus. He spent a split second debating if he should try to get Jungkook to the bathroom.

Before he could make a decision, a second round of thick vomit poured from Jungkook’s mouth into the center of their bed. Jungkook started sobbing, “Hyung, I don’t want to be sick. It hurts. Make it stop.” His hand wrapped protectively around his middle as he heaved a third wave.

Taehyung rushed to grab the small waste basket in the corner of their room and passed it off for Jungkook to hold. He'd stopped vomiting for a moment but the bobbing of Jungkook's Adam's apple and the sickly pallor of his skin made Taehyung believe the episode wasn't over yet.

And he was right. Jungkook continued to vomit in waves over the bin until he was empty. And even then he dry heaved a few more times just to ensure there wasn’t a morsel left of food inside him. Just mouthfuls of thick metallic saliva and putrid bile. When he was finally done, he collapsed back onto the bed and sobbed. “Hyung,” the younger man whined, his voice rough from the strain of vomiting. “My tummy hurts. I want to sleep.” Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Taehyung started rubbing Jungkook’s sore stomach over his t-shirt. “You can’t sleep yet, Jungkook-ah. We need to get you cleaned up first.” He tried to pull Jungkook up and out of bed. Jungkook was always larger than him, more muscular and sturdier frame. It wasn’t an easy task given Jungkook’s fatigue, it was like pulling dead weight. But he managed it with only a little resistance. Before long, Jungkook was stripped of his soiled clothes and in the tub. Taehyung made quick work of washing Jungkook’s hair and scrubbing the sweat from his body.

While Jungkook relaxed in the lukewarm water, Taehyung went to change the bedsheets. He used a towel to wipe up the larger mess then pulled the soiled linens off the mattress. Then he carried them right to the washing machine. After starting the machine, he crumpled to the floor in tears allowing himself to feel his feeling. He’d had to suppress them throughout the ordeal. He had to be strong for Jungkook’s sake. But he was so scared. Jungkook usually didn’t vomit like that when he was sick with fevers.

Taehyung needed one minute. Just a few seconds to collect himself and repair his resolve. He stayed in the laundry room, curling into himself as he sobbed. The more he sobbed, the more he realized that maybe he couldn’t do it all on his own like he so desperately wanted. Taehyung was finally ready to admit he was overwhelmed. He needed help, he needed support. He needed someone to take the kids, just for the night. He needed to be able to focus on only one thing, and Jungkook’s health took priority.

In his moment of desperation, he pulled out his phone and dialed the only person he could think to call. He tried to suppress his tears as he waited for an answer.

"Hello," Jimin answered tentatively. Because sometimes it was Taehyung on the other end and sometimes it was Joongi playing with his appa's phone.

"Hyung, help." Taehyung’s voice cracked as he sobbed. He hated that he had to ask for help. This was his family and he should be able to take care of them. "Jungkook is really sick. Like really really sick. And I need to take care of him, but I need to take care of Joongi and Haein too. But I can’t let them see him like this. Jungkook doesn't even know who I am; he thinks I'm just some college hyung. He's not going to recognize them and that's going to traumatize them forever, right? I can't do that to them. And he’s been throwing up, like a lot. He never throws up like this. I think I might have to take him to the hospital. I've been trying to keep it together and be strong for them, hyung. I’m really trying, but I can't." Tears were flowing freely and faster than Taehyung could wipe them away. He wasn’t even sure if Jimin would be able to make out any of what he was saying. “Hyung, I tried. But I can’t do it. They need me to take care of them and I can’t.”

Jimin’s voice remained calm on the other end, “TaeTae, hey. Take a deep breath with me, can you do that for hyung?” Taehyung let out a shaky breath in time with Jimin, followed by another and then another. Jimin waited until Taehyung’s breathing on the other end of the line finally evened out before he continued. “Sounds like you’re going through a lot right. I know you’re doing the best that you can for everyone. But it might be more than you can handle by yourself. You’re doing the right thing asking hyung for help. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

“C-Can Joongi and Haein spend the night with you. I know it’s really last minute, but I’m not- and you can- and they need- but Jungkook-” Taehyung broke the word with a pained sob.

“Say no more. I’m always happy to babysit.” Jimin cut Taehyung off before he could get himself more worked up, “I’ll come pick them up now. And don’t worry about packing anything for them. I still have everything you left at my place the last time they stayed with me,” Jimin continued talking about what he would do with the kids for the night, hoping to ease Taehyung’s panic and bring some comfort in the fact that he could focus his attention on Jungkook, “I just want to check though, Yoongi was planning to stay over tonight. Are you okay with that?”

Taehyung let out a small breathy chuckle, wiping the tear tracks off his cheeks with his wrists, "He's not going to give Joongi candy bars before bed this time, right?"

Jimin's embarrassed but roaring laughter was music to Taehyung's ears, leading him to finally crack some hint of a smile. "That was one time, Tae. Believe me, he learned his lesson with that one. He won't be making that mistake again. And I'll be watching him like a hawk. There won't be any midnight sugar rushes on my watch."

It was Taehyung’s turn to double over with reminiscent laughter, remembering the late night desperation texts from Yoongi and several videos of Joongi practically bouncing off the walls after wolfing down three chocolate bars 20 minutes before bedtime. That was the last time Yoongi was allowed to do solo-sleepovers with the kids. "I’m choosing to trust you, Minnie."

Jimin kept talking, filling the air with distractions- updates on his relationship with Yoongi, potential next steps, and possibly even asking Yoongi to move in soon. But Taehyung was only half listening. He finally felt grounded enough to continue, to face his family again. He so desperately needed this moment, this brief break, to recollect himself. He needed someone, Jimin, to reassure him that he was doing fine, doing his best. He was grateful that Jimin was so quick to agree to help him out. It made the whole situation just a bit less awful knowing that he still had someone who loved him, cared for him. Even if it wasn’t exactly his husband at the moment. He finally uncurled himself and regained his composure as best as he could. He didn’t want his family to know he was crying, to feel that they were making things harder for him.

As he finished collecting himself, he heard shuffling from the master bathroom and the telltale sounds of gagging and retching. He knew he had to get back out there. He knew Jungkook needed him. "Hyung, I’ve gotta go. Jungkook started puking again. But thanks for everything. I really needed that distraction. I dont know what I'd do without you.” He hoped Jimin could feel the sincerity in his voice, “And you can just let yourself in when you get here. I’ll probably be upstairs.”

Jimin gave a soft hum of understanding, "Hang in there, TaeTae. I'll see you soon."

Taehyung shoved the phone back into the pocket of his sweatpants and rushed back toward the bedroom. In his absence, Jungkook had pulled himself from the tub and was now resting with his head against the toilet seat. Taehyung inspected the water and saw nothing inside, so he figured the retching had been unproductive. He quickly positioned himself behind Jungkook and rubbed his bare back. “You still feel like you’re going to throw up.”

Jungkook nodded, “Sunbaenim, can you please take me back to my room. Ko Insu dormitory, 5th floor, room 17. I really don’t feel good. I don’t think I can get through the rest of class.”

Taehyung’s heart clenched at the identifier his husband used. He suppressed his grief and just kept his steady hand rubbing Jungkook’s back, noting the rolling heat. Taehyung remembered he still needed to check how high Jungkook’s fever was running. “Okay, Jungkook. Sunbae will help you.” He cringed to refer to himself that way, “I’ll take you to my room. It’s closer. Is that okay?” Jungkook nodded, making no move to leave the bathroom. Taehyung decided to prompt, “Can you stand up?”

Jungkook groaned at the effort, using the toilet seat to brace himself as he made his way to his feet. He was able to stand, but Taehyung noticed how he wobbled and swayed even with his eyes closed. He quickly moved in for support, wrapping Jungkook’s arm over the span of his shoulders. He helped Jungkook navigate back to their bedroom before he remembered that he never actually replaced the sheets. He sat Jungkook down on the rocking chair in the corner of the room and picked out a light outfit for him to wear. “Can you put this on by yourself? I think it’s best if you wear something light. You’re burning up, Ja-Jungkook-ah,” he quickly corrected.

Jungkook nodded, grabbing the clothing from Taehyung’s hands. “Don’t look, okay? No one but TaeTae can see me naked.” he suddenly gasped, looking up at Taehyung. For a moment, Taehyung was hopeful that Jungkook would recognize him. But that hope faded as soon as Jungkook opened his mouth again. “TaeTae doesn’t know I’m here. He doesn’t know I’m sick. Where’s my phone? I need to talk to him. Sunbaenim, have you seen my phone?”

Taehyung chuckled. He had to laugh. If he didn’t laugh, he’d probably cry again. It physically hurt to hear Jungkook talk to him like he was in another relationship. It made him feel like he was being cheated on. Even if the "other man" was just a younger version of himself. He hated it, jealousy prickling under his skin for the first time in years. He suppressed it. “You just get dressed, Jungkook. I’ll call TaeTae for you and get the bed ready, okay?”

“Okay, no peeking?” Jungkook slurred, unfolding the t-shirt and struggling to find the neck hole.

“No peeking,” Taehyung confirmed as he went to put fresh sheets on the mattress. Taehyung finished preparing the bed and Jungkook was still struggling to dress himself. It looked like the younger man had given up somewhere along the way, arms wrapped protectively around himself as he shuttered with chill. “Jungkook-ah, the bed is all ready for you to lay down. Do you need any help?”

Jungkook whined from somewhere inside the shirt he didn’t manage to properly align, “Promise you won’t tell TaeTae you saw me undressed? He gets pretty jealous and I don’t want him to be mad at me.”

“Promise. It’ll be our little secret.” Taehyung smiled warmly, pulling the shirt over Jungkook’s head and helping his arms through the sleeves. He then helped him slide up the pants. “Can I dry your hair? You shouldn’t sleep with wet hair,” Jungkook gave a small nod and Taehyung tried to be as gentle as possible as he towel dried the younger man’s hair. Once his hair was dry, Taehyung escorted his husband to the bed and tucked him under a thin sheet. Jungkook tried to get comfortable.

"Can I have another blanket, sunbaenim? I'm so cold." Jungkook curled into himself teeth chattering from chills. It was the smallest he had looked in years.

"It's your fever playing tricks on you, Jungkookie. You can't overheat," Taehyung explained.

Jungkook didn't hide his dissatisfaction with the answer. He let out a whine, "Can I snuggle with you then? Just until I fall asleep."

“Can I check your fever first?” Jungkook hummed in affirmation, adjusting in the bed to make room for Taehyung to climb in.

Taehyung went and grabbed the abandoned thermometer he dropped the first time he tried to check Jungkook’s fever. On his way, he stopped by the cradle, satisfied to see that Haein had fallen back to sleep. He placed a blanket over the child before going back to the bed. One less thing he had to worry about.

He pressed the thermometer against Jungkook’s forehead and waited for the digital screen to display the reading. “39.7.” He sighed, mostly to himself. He considered getting Jungkook to take some medicine, but figured Jungkook’s stomach might not be ready for any new introductions just yet. He decided to continue monitoring it and if it goes over 40, he’d take Jungkook to the hospital. Taehyung hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

As promised, Taehyung climbed into the bed. Jungkook quickly latched onto him, head nestling into Taehyung's stomach and hands clenched around the loose fabric of his hoodie. The chills receded almost instantly. "Remember sunbaenim," Jungkook started.

"I know, I know." Taehyung interrupted, hesitant to rub Jungkook's back in fear of retaliation from the younger man. "Don't tell TaeTae." Jungkook smiled.

The older man set a reminder on his phone to check the fever every 30 minutes. When Jungkook saw Taehyung fiddling with his phone, he picked his head up. “Sunbaenim, did you call TaeTae yet? I don’t want him to worry.”

Too late for that, Taehyung thought to himself. He dug his nails into his palm as he answered, “I called him. He’ll be here when you wake up. He wants you to get some rest and take care of yourself. He also told me to tell you he loves you more than three piece suits and saxophones.”

Jungkook smiled comfortably, at peace for a moment. “More than Panda Express?" he yawned.

Taehyung chuckled; he was a little obsessed with the fast food chain in his uni years. But to be fair, the orange chicken always hit the spot after a stressful day of classes."You'll have to ask him when you see him, Jungkook-ah." He tentatively ran a hand through Jungkook's soft hair, not yet soiled with sweat.

"Okay, Sunbaenim. I’ll sleep now.” The younger man curled further into him and took a few deep breaths. Taehyung could see Jungkook clutching his stomach and grimacing a bit as he dozed off. Jungkook needed fever patches, belly rubs, maybe the waste basket by the side of the bed just in case. But he'd wait until Jungkook was fast asleep before slipping out.

When Jungkook's breathing evened out and he was sure Jungkook was asleep, Taehyung pressed a light kiss to the top of Jungkook's head, "I love you, Jagiya, more than Panda Express."

AN: As always, thanks for reading to the end. Feedback is always appreciated. Please don't be afraid to call me out on any tags or tws I may have missed. I swear I've read through this over 100 times but I'm sure I'm missing something as I post it.

I meant to post this sooner, but things kept coming to my mind to add and change around. A tragic writing flaw of mine is not being able to stick to an idea. But I'm finally satisfied with the result. As you can probably tell, there's going to be more of this AU to come. However, I'm a little burnt out on the fic right now. It's all I've worked on seriously in a while. I want to spend some time working on other WIPs and come back to this with fresh eyes. Thanks for your support.

[pastelccfinds]

Meredith Blake - Look Book

Hi everyone! 

I’ve recently started posting on TikTok, who knew? But I gave my very first sim from launch day a makeover! Someone kindly asked for a cc list so here it is!

You can also find Meredith on the gallery, my Gallery ID is: madelinemae123

My TikTok is @stinkyratbitchuhoh if you’re interested in seeing what else I may or may not post there. 

Genetics

Skin blend: privé by lamatisse | Eyebrows: Wool eyebrows by TwistedCat | Eyelashes: 3D Uncurled accessories by Kijiko | Body Blush: Torrada Body Blush by Simandy |  Nose Shaders: Nose Shader by Faaeish  | Remove ea lashes: Remove ea eyelashes by Kijiko | Mouth Corner Shadow: Mouth Corners N03 by Pralinesims | Facial Highlight: highlight #19 mm by sims3melancholic | Eyebags: Basic 10 Eye Bags Set by Tamo | Contacts: contacts #101 by sims3melancholic

Everyday

Hair: Eva hair by Aretha | Earrings: Lita earrings by Aretha | Necklace: Belle necklace by Aretha | Eyeshadow: Eyeshadow | N65 by Cosimetic | Eyeliner: Eyeliner | N74 by Cosimetic | Blush: Sunkissed Blush by Simbience |  Lipstick: Maggie Gloss by alhajero | Top: Sweater vest by Serenity | Bottoms: Terra Jeans by clumsyalien | Shoes: Platform Slippers 02 by Jius 

Formal 

Hair: Lena by simstrouble | Eyeshadow: Eyeshadow | N65 by Cosimetic |  Eyeliner: Eyeliner | N71 by Cosimetic | Lipstick: Lucid Dream by Pralinesims | Earrings: Lita earrings by Aretha | Necklace: La Luna by Nords | Dress: Tied Bodycon by casteru | Socks: Prism socks by Trillyke |  Shoes: Yasu shoes by Madlen

Activewear 

Hair: Kali hair by Aretha | Eyeliner: Liner CC11 by GPME | Blush: Sunkissed Blush by Simbience | Earrings: Lita earrings by Aretha | Glasses: Kimmy Glasses by Magnolia-C | Top: Rush top by Serenity | Bottoms:Rush shorts by Serenity | Socks: Kumiko socks by Trillyke | Shoes: Rei platform shoes by Trillyke 

Sleep

Hair: Bloom hair V2 by Simandy | Top: Maru Hooded top by Trillyke | Bottoms: Nesta shorts by clumsyalien 

Party 

Hair (with clips): Allie hair by Aladdin-The-Simmer | Eyeshadow: Sour Fruit eyeshadow by TwistedCat | Eyeliner: Eyeliner | N74 by Cosimetic | Blush: Ironic blush by PeachyFaerie | Lipstick: Zea lipstick by RemusSirion | Earrings: Aine earrings by Aretha | Top: Cleo top (w/ overlay) by Aretha | Bottoms: Jean shorts w/ chain by Trillyke | Stockings: Rebel stockings by Aretha | Shoes: Leather Platform Ankle Boots 02 by Jius 

Swim 

Hair: Sofi hair by Sunivaa | Top/Bottom: Lilac Bikini by Kumikya

Hot Weather

Hair: Nadya hair V3 by Aladdin-The-Simmer | Eyeshadow: Eyeshadow | N65 by Cosimetic | Eyeliner: Eyeliner | N74 by Cosimetic | Blush: Sunkissed Blush by Simbience | Lipstick: Maggie Gloss by alhajero | Earrings:Flower earrings by EnriqueS4 | Hat: Bianca hat by Miiko | Dress: Woodland dress by Trillyke | Shoes: Platform pumps 02 by Jius

Cold Weather 

Hair: Marjorie hair by clumsyalien | Eyeshadow: Eyeshadow | N65 by Cosimetic | Eyeliner: Eyeliner | N74 by Cosimetic | Blush: Sunkissed Blush by Simbience | Lipstick: Maggie Gloss by alhajero | Hat: Taehyung beret by casteru | Earrings: Charlotte Dangles by Ridgeport | Dress: Back to the 60s collection by Serenity | Stockings: Classic Tights by Magic Bot | Socks: Ren Socks by clumsyalien | Shoes: Bad Dream Boots by Trillyke

Here’s an up close shot of miss ma’am, I think she came out really cute!

[sweethartlullaby]

my angel, don’t cry - kth

word count: 7.5k genre: angst, and maybe a teeny bit of fluff warnings: illnesses, death, mention of blood  we’re all dying sweetheart, the key is to let go and enjoy. sweethartlullaby ꕤ masterlist

//

The first time I had a lucid dream, I swam in the sky.

A giant whale floated underneath me as I remained suspended, a school of fishes breaking past me. 

The first time I stood up for myself, I was slapped across the face and left in an alleyway to die.

The first time I kissed someone, I cried.

There are many firsts in someone's life; usually unforgettable instances that leave a haunting memory behind. A ghost of someone's arm wrapped around your waist, or their breath on your cheek when they laugh in your ear.

And the first time I realized I was in love, it was with Kim Taehyung.

//

My first encounter with him was by accident.

Rumours had spread around about a celebrity joining the hospital but no one knew why or who. I bumped into him after visiting the rooftop. Of course, he had a mask on and he was still in civilian clothing but I thought I saw a smile in his eyes for a bit. 

Nevertheless, I didn’t think much of it. 

But on the way down, a group of men in suits along with a few nurses stormed up the stairs, all shouting a certain name.

“Taehyung!”

Curious, I followed them back up and stopped just before the next flight, where it was packed with the men in suits.

“Come on now, a grown man like me can take care of myself this much. It was just a walk upstairs, don’t worry about it.” His chuckle was deep yet extremely soothing. I wanted to turn the corner just to have a little peek, but they were starting to move down and the last thing I wanted was to be trampled on by them. 

The weeks flew by and I had almost forgotten about the existence of the celebrity in the hospital. I figured it was the same man I stumbled upon on the stairs; because who else would need so many bodyguards?

//

Then I saw him in the garden. 

The sun had just set and the sky was darkening at a rapid pace, but he was still there, strolling on the pavement, or rather, being strolled. He sat on a wheelchair and one of his men pushed him from behind slowly. 

And all I could think was, maybe this time I get to see his face clearly. But then I neared him and the conversation was clearly not something I should be around for. 

“Have the others called?” His velvety voice was no different than before. 

“Yes sir, they have repeatedly asked for you.”

Nothing but a chuckle. 

“You know what to tell them.” I expected the bodyguard to simply comply and they would move along but instead, he voiced out.

“With all due respect sir, I don’t think it would hurt so much to let them know yourself how you are doing.” 

Silence.

“I would only bring disappointing news. I can’t do that to them right now.” 

Those words echoed in my brain for a long time, bouncing off the walls into oblivion as I tried to make some better sense of it. For some reason, I could hear myself saying those same words, only about different people. 

“Well we should move along shouldn’t we?” Taehyung’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly ran back into the building before he could see me. 

And as I ascended the elevator, I could feel tears spike the corners of my eyes. 

//

The next time I saw him, we spoke. 

“What are you in for?” He asked as he licked his popsicle. I paused for a second before answering.

“Leukemia.” But I said it with a small smile before I swirled my tongue around my lollipop, as if it would make the state of my health less grim.

“Stage?”

“Three.”

“Shit.” He scoffed a little before looking out at the city. The rooftop was quiet today, with everyone indoors from the wind but I came here for that exact reason. If I couldn’t live until winter then maybe this cold would make me feel like I’m surrounded by the joy of the season again.

“What about you?” I asked, trying to not sound too nervous. I had assumed he had some sort of paralyzation, thus the wheelchair.

“Stoneman syndrome.” He said slowly, tilting his head slowly then flicking his gaze onto me. But I can’t focus on his eyes when I am busy trying to signal how I don’t know what it is. But he didn’t seem to say anything so I just stared at him.

“You’re going to have to tell me what that is because I have no fucking clue.” There was a pause before he laughed and the sound was pure bliss to my ears. 

“I’m turning to bone.” He said once the chuckles had died down.

“That’s a thing?” I asked quietly, more to myself. 

“1 in 2 million.” He sighed, looking out over the railing that kept patients from climbing and jumping off. I thought about asking how much time he had left, but that mustn't be pleasant to talk about.

“Aren’t we lucky?” I nudged him a little with my elbow and Taehyung smiled back at me.

“To the end of the line.” He held out his popsicle and I tapped my lollipop onto his treat, getting a drop of his treat.

And although I didn’t say it, I thought about who would go first.

//

“Meet Min Yoongi.”

I looked up at him timidly. He wasn’t much taller than me but the way he stood made it seem like it, with shoulders pushed back and a heavy looking jacket hanging on them, he almost looked intimidating if it weren’t for the soft smile on his face.

“Has he been troubling you?” Yoongi asked and it took me a while before I chuckled and shook my head. 

“Not at all.” I noticed the backpack Yoongi carried in one hand and from the shapes pushed against the fabric of it, it must be the things Taehyung said he wanted to be in his room. 

“Could you give us a moment? Taehyung asked softly, while looking up at me. With no hesitation, I nodded and left the room. 

It had been about two months since that conversation on the rooftop. Leukemia had not been friendly since, and I had been needing to be more careful. Since Taehyung needed my help, he was always making jokes like “Oh you’re going to need to steer a little to the left ma’am” or he would say really loudly, “Patient coming through people! She cannot be touched by anything, highly sensitive!” and I would try to hide my laugh while pushing his wheelchair down the hallway faster. 

I couldn’t even remember a time before Taehyung, although it had only been a while. When you spend a good chunk of your time with someone going through a similar struggle, you tend to really feel attached.

And maybe that’s a problem. 

But not something I wanted to dwell on right now. 

The buzz of my phone in my hand caught my attention, and I read the notification silently. 

T: you can come back now. i bet you got lonely without me. :(

I scoffed a little before I shoved the device into my pocket and began to make my way back to Taehyung. Today was movie day. He wouldn’t tell me what it was about so I couldn’t refuse. 

As long as it wasn’t horror.

Turning the corner, I heard a familiar voice that made me freeze on the spot. 

“It’s not long but maybe-”

“But he doesn’t want that.” 

“Is there any way to convince him?”

“I’m afraid not.” 

I finished turning and I saw Min Yoongi’s eyes meet mine. He finished his conversation with the doctor and I debated in my head whether I should just turn around and walk away before the conversation can start. I didn’t want him to think I was purposely eavesdropping.

“Hi.” 

Damn it.

“Hey.” I squeaked out. The silence that followed tempted me to take the step away from him but he spoke.

“Thank you for taking care of him. In between our schedules and everything, it’s a little comforting to know he has someone right now.” Yoongi smiled at me and a corner of my lip lifted to return it.

“He helps me too.” was all I could say. The man gave one more smile before he patted my shoulder and walked away from me. 

And all I could think about was how his eyes were glimmering with tears.

//

When I woke up, the credits were rolling on the TV. I turned to find Taehyung but he was nowhere to be seen. A blanket had been draped over my shoulders. I didn't even remember when I had fallen asleep.

"Tae?" I called out while rubbing my eyes. My body was slowly waking up along with my mind and once I felt a little more comfortable, I put my slippers on and shuffled outside.

I noticed him parked by the large windows that overlooked the city view. If it weren't for the sound of his sniffle, I would have ran up to him.

So instead, I crept up to him like a shadow, careful to not startle him. When I was close enough, I realized his fist was closed around a slip of paper.

I thought about my next move for a few seconds before my feet moved to approach him.

"Hey," I whispered as I got closer. 

“Hey, look who’s awake.” I could hear the way he was trying to hide the fact that he had just been crying and part of me just wanted to tell him that I saw him. I stood next to him, with my hands folded in front of my chest, holding tightly onto the blanket I brought with me. 

It was silent for a while but it didn’t feel awkward like a pause. The tranquility was enjoyable, especially after I had just woken up. We were in the middle of October and I could see how the leaves were fading into a brown colour. 

Maybe there will be a lot on the ground when I go for my walk tomorrow. 

“Do you think I’ll see the snow?” Taehyung suddenly asked and I glanced at him just a little then caught the tear sliding down his cheek. 

“Probably not.” I croaked out, my throat still dry after my nap.

That answer was ridiculous, and one of the worst things to say to someone supposedly crying about their impending death. 

“But it’s okay,” I continued.

“Because you won’t be alone.” I kept my eyes on the view outside, noticing lights blinking on and off across the landscape. I breathed in the air, feeling a part of the weight on my shoulders had lifted up and left.

Then I suddenly felt something tugging on my blanket and I turned to see his hand held out, palm up; and when I looked at him, a smile on his face that I wouldn’t ever be able to erase from my mind. 

I supposed that attachments such as these when your time was limited wasn’t very wise. But God, the way his face lit up when I slid my palm into his, and the way my body ignited with such a bright flame; the things I would do just to have felt that way over and over. 

Excitement trickled down my bones, creating a ticklish feeling with a skip in my heart. It was a feeling greater than anything I’ve ever felt. And to realize it wasn’t going to last, that created the first crack in my virgin yet dying heart.

Fuck.

This one’s going to hurt.

//

Two weeks had passed since that night and Halloween was just around the corner. 

I collapsed twice since then and just yesterday, I was told my condition had grown much worse than they had predicted. It wasn’t too much of a surprise; I mean, I could’ve sworn I felt my body grow weaker even when I held Taehyung’s hand but the moment was too precious to ruin. 

Speaking of which, I hadn’t told him yet. 

It had started to be a little harder for him to eat lately but I still fed him as much as I could. He had begun to speak less too, relying on me to guess what he wanted most of the time. Sometimes, I would pretend it’s a game of charades just to make him smile a little. The corners of his lips would turn up ever so slightly yet it made my heart swell with joy.

I knew he didn’t want treatment, or he was just seeking the bare minimum of it. I understood, yet it saddened me to know he wanted to leave more than he wanted to stay. 

On the bright side, I had been spending a lot more time with him. I didn’t know if it was because I knew how little time I had left, or just because I enjoyed his presence so much. 

Everything felt like it was dying. 

The trees, flowers, and us.

As I trudged to Taehyung’s room, that was all I could dwell on. When I knocked on his door, I peeked inside to see Yoongi packing his things and leaving. As he stepped out of the door and said his goodbye to both Taehyung and me, I realized that his eyes were red and puffy. 

He must’ve had been crying.

Still, Yoongi gave a small smile before he walked down the hallway and turned the corner to the exit. I drew in a breath and looked inside, with the brightest smile I could muster on such a dreary day.

“Hey you.”

Taehyung nodded a little and I took my seat next to him. He turned back to the television and I followed his gaze. The news was on display, and within seconds, I realized that Yoongi was on the screen along with five other men. 

“BTS takes over ten awards home, proving once again that they are at the top of their game.” I read aloud, eyes passing over each of the members one by one as the realization sank in. Taehyung was supposed to be up there with them. 

I looked over at said man, seeing his small, proud smile on his face. He must miss it, being on stage and being able to perform alongside his friends that he deemed to be his lifelong brothers.

“I...miss them.” He said slowly and the croak in his voice almost made me cry. 

“I haven’t seen the rest; why don’t they visit you?” I asked.

“They...have a lot to...do.” He struggled as he spoke but I could sense the bittersweet sadness in his tone. But I had nothing to say that would console him. 

“Anyways,” I chirped after a long pause as I reached for his laptop.

“What movie should we watch this time? Should we watch a horror one; it is ‘spooky’ season.” I muttered the last one to myself while I flipped through the options displayed on the screen. 

“Ooh, a romantic drama. I should save this for later.” I whispered but he must’ve heard me because he tapped my shoulder and put his two forefingers together, meaning together.

“Are you sure?” I asked him a little sarcastically. He nodded with another smile before I clicked on the movie and placed the laptop on his bed table and sat next to him, leaving him enough space to not feel me mushed up against him. 

The last thirty minutes or so were playing and the tears streaming down my cheeks wouldn’t stop. 

“Damn it Will! Why can’t you let her love you?” I whispered fiercely to myself, feeling something inside me deflate with depression as I watched the couple on screen argue. I heard a small chuckle from beside me then turned to see Taehyung smiling a little.

Oh how could he!

I gasped loudly, hoping it would catch his attention in the middle of his heinous act. 

“How are you not crying?” I pointed to him then the scene. 

“It isn’t...r-real.” He said slowly.

“Okay? But it’s still sad!” I whined, reaching up to wipe my tears with the blanket. His mouth opened to stop me but I deliberately did it faster so he couldn’t stop me. If he wasn’t going to cry in one of the most heartbreaking scenes I had ever witnessed, then I don’t think he deserved a fully dry blanket. 

“This is what you get.” I said through my tears before returning to my original position and crossing my arms above my chest. 

“H-He loves...her.” Taehyung said. 

“If he did, then he would seek treatment!” I argued.

“B-But he knows t-that, she dese-rved better than him too.” Taehyung explained but I refused to accept it.

“He’s picking the easy way out. It’s not fair.” I shook my head. I didn’t understand why I was so worked up over a fictional movie. It was almost as if it was me in Louisa’s shoes.

Almost as if I was trying to secretly tell Taehyung something.

“If he really loved her,” I said slowly, feeling heat rise to my cheeks.

“He wouldn’t leave.” I whispered. 

When Taehyung didn’t respond, I thought I had made him mad. But then I felt his hand rest on top of mine and as best as he could, he gave me a little squeeze.

As if he was saying that everything was going to be okay. 

I just couldn’t believe him that easily.

//

“Okay, remember that you can always bring one finger up to tell me to stop and no peeking!” I said slowly before Taehyung nodded and I began to push him towards the stadium. He had no idea where we were heading and if I didn’t purse my lips, I think I would’ve spilled the beans by now.

As we neared the place, all I could feel was my loud and thumping heartbeat all over my body. When I squeezed the handles of Taehyung’s wheelchair, I could feel my pulse and when I breathed in, I could hear it. 

We walked past the doors, where a few people had stood to guard the doors. I couldn’t see much with the dark of the night but it was almost as if I could feel how big the place was. 

Not long after I saw BTS on the news, Yoongi had come to visit. I demanded to know why the rest hadn’t visited, expressing how sad it made Taehyung. And instead, we came up with this brilliant plan to give him a surprise. 

“W-Where are we?” Taehyung asked and I shushed him gently to which he replied with a chuckle.

“Okay,” I parked him onto the edge of the stage, seated before the large screen and where the others would supposedly stand behind me. The lights switched on, and long stretches of light circled around the stadium. To say the stadium was massive was an understatement, I couldn’t possibly imagine how the seven of them filled the whole place up back then.

I took his blindfold off and then stood center stage with the mic I had gotten on the way up. I watched Taehyung blink a few times, letting his eyes adjust to the light. But once he realized where he was, I noticed the way his face lit up. 

“Welcome Kim Taehyung, to your own personal BTS concert!” I started and behind me, I heard the whirring on the stage where I knew the rest would emerge from. 

“Ayo it’s BTS!” It sounded like Namjoon and I stepped aside so Taehyung could get the full view of his brothers. The screen behind them was dark except for their glowing symbol in the middle.

I stood behind Taehyung’s wheelchair and held onto the handles with nervous energy flowing through me. 

“It’s been a while, Taehyung-ie.” Jin said. I had learned all their names by the time we had gotten to know each other. They had a whole setlist planned out for tonight. I had also been listening to their songs non stop since I brought it up to Yoongi; it wouldn’t hurt to know a few lyrics.

The other members said a few words of their own, voicing out why they had been so scarce before the first song began.

“This one's for you Taehyung-ah.” 

The music started and the six of them got into position before they started. I realized the song they had decided to perform was ‘Singularity’, a solo song of Taehyung’s. Halfway through, I saw Taehyung turn his head and I leaned down to get a better listen.

“Y-You plan-ned thi-s?” He asked and I nodded with a grin on my face before taking a seat next to his wheelchair. As I watched the members all fool around, (even though they would start off quite seriously) it was such a joy. I heard Taehyung laugh from beside me too and after the few months he had so far, I think this night was well deserved. 

I still hadn’t told him about my worsening condition. Going out tonight was a struggle, in between getting permission from the hospital and making sure everything was going according to plan, I had to gather enough energy to not pass out in front of him. 

They performed so many songs and about 1.5 hours later, I realized that it was time for the final song, which I was a part of. 

“W-What…” Taehyung’s voice faded away as I joined the rest on the stage and we took our positions. 

“Hit it!” I yelled as loud as I could, hearing laughter erupt from the rest. 

“I’m exhausted, man.” Namjoon started. 

“Oh guess what.”

“I just want to go home!” We all shouted before everyone started their parts and I waited for mine which was supposed to replace Taehyung’s. We even prepared a little choreo (Jin insisted) during the chorus. As I stood there, dancing and singing with the rest; I began to feel a certain high I had never felt before. Was this what Taehyung felt all that time on stage, looking upon the crowd with adoring eyes and a fleeting heart?

Oh, it felt so great to be seen by him, I wondered what it must’ve been like with thousands of people cheering my name.

When the song ended, the seven of us formed a final pose together, forming a heart for the one person in our audience.

Despite the struggle, Taehyung still brought his hands together and clapped loudly. 

“Th-at was a-amaz-ing!” He said loudly and we all formed a line before bowing in front of him. Upon rising, I could see the tears streaking down his cheeks. But still, he clapped and grinned. 

It was the happiest I had ever seen him. 

“He’s crying!” Jungkook pointed out before they all crowded around him and the boys wiped his tears away with their sleeves, massaging his shoulders and patting his back. I watched from outside of their huddled bodies and I felt my own tears rise to the brim of my eyes as I panted heavy breaths.

He could stay, for just a little longer with them.

If he wanted to.

Lifting my foot to take a step toward them was definitely a mistake. Between catching my breath from the dazzling performance we had given him and trying my hardest to not show how tired I actually was, I could no longer feel anything. The world was spinning around me in such fast circles. 

Shit.

Panic was starting to ensue within me and as hard as I tried to keep my balance, I still felt my weight overpower my legs. My body crashed onto the floor and through the blur clouding my eyes, I saw dark drops of blood on the stage beneath me, illuminated by the bright lights that were shining above me.

“Blood…” I muttered to myself and then I felt it, the liquid trickling down my nose, lips, and chin. I raised my hand to touch it. As soon as my eyes landed on the red blur on my fingers, the world stopped spinning. 

Because everything disappeared and darkness took me into its arms.

//

All I heard was beeping. 

And it took me a moment to gather my bearings. I know that sound. I must be back at the hospital. 

I exhaled a breath as I leaned back into my comfortable pillow. There was a dim light not too far away from me so I didn’t feel like I was being blinded by the sun. 

I wondered how long I had been here and that’s when it hit me. 

Taehyung.

I sat up from my bed, immediately feeling pain shoot up my spine. I winced in discomfort as I swung my feet over the bed and shuffled out of the room. I needed to find Taehyung, to make sure he was okay. 

As I recalled his room number, I realized I was just a few rooms away. I shuffled faster. God knows what time it was, I just needed to see him. 

But as soon as I reached his room, I realized the door wasn’t completely shut and when I swung it open, it was empty. The bed had been made and I saw a few of his familiar things but the place felt empty, barren. It gave me a slight chill to be standing in the doorway alone. 

“T-Taehyung…” I whispered, starting to panic. Where was he? How long was I out? Where would he go at this time of the night; the garden? No, it was too late for that. 

Then something struck me. 

Like Cinderella’s clock at midnight; a ringing in my ears that just wouldn’t stop. 

No.

No, no, no, no, n-

It couldn’t be right? 

No, he couldn’t have died.

No, I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

No, I was supposed to be there with him. 

No, no, no, no.

Fuck.

No.

I felt the heat rise into my cheeks as I shuffled back outside, hands on my head as everything began spinning again. I could feel the warm tears threatening to spill out of my eyes as I tried hard to think of the possibilities of his whereabouts.

But him being gone was all I could imagine. 

I shuffled back to my room. Maybe I could call Yoongi and he would tell me where he was. Surely, if he had passed, he would-

“Hey,” 

I froze in my tracks and that was when I realized how loud I was breathing. Was it just me? That sounded too much like him. 

I spun around slowly, eyes trained on the ground. I was too afraid to look up; afraid to be disappointed. 

“W-Why ar-e y-you-u out of b-bed?” The voice spoke and I gulped before finally forcing myself to look up. There he was, in his hospital gown, hair unkempt, and seated perfectly on his wheelchair.

He’s alive.

Thank God because he’s alive.

Upon seeing his face, all I could do was crumble to my knees and exhale. With that one release of breath, the hot tears finally poured out and spilled onto my cheeks. Taehyung came closer and his shadow loomed over me. 

“W-What’s wr-wrong-g?’ Taehyung asked, his voice ever so full of concern. I looked up at him and honestly, I wanted to slap him for scaring me like that. But when I stared at his innocent face, full of worry, my heart could only swell with love.

“Nothing.” I said as I wiped my tears and got up slowly, feeling my body ache with agony. I moved behind him and pushed him back to his room. 

“Why aren’t you asleep yet?” My voice sounded hoarse. I helped him onto his bed and tucked him in. He didn’t answer my question. 

“Is everything okay?” I asked while putting his wheelchair on the end of his bed. Taehyung shook his head.

“W-Why di-didn’t-t you tel-l me yo-u were-e s-sicker?” He stuttered. Despite the struggle in his words, he looked...angry. His brows were knitted together, as if he was really frustrated and if you looked closely, you would notice the quiver in his lips which I realized he would do when something upset him.

“I didn’t want you to worry. You have enough on your plate as it already is.” I explained, taking his hand in mine. I usually would wait until he fell asleep before trotting back to my own room but I felt so tired, I might spend the night here; emphasis on might.

“I-I w-wanted t-to know.” His voice grew softer. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll let you know next time, okay?” That was clearly a lie, if you couldn’t tell. When he didn��t respond, I gave his hand a little squeeze. I had calmed down since I saw him and the relief seemed to be some sort of painkiller. Because the longer I stared at him, the less I felt and that was good.

“You should go to sleep.” I said with a weak smile before pushing myself up from the chair and turning to go to my room. I thought he might want to be alone right now. But his hand grabbed mine in an instance and although his grip wasn’t the strongest, I knew it was more than a brush of his fingers.

“Stay.” He croaked and I looked at him before I nodded and slid into the space next to him. He wrapped an arm around me and I pressed my ear against his chest, hearing the soft thump of his heartbeat. We were silent for a while and I could only hear the heavy breaths we took.

“I t-thought I lo-lost you.” Taehyung whispered and I pushed myself a little closer to him. 

“Me too.” I turned my head to look at him and brushed a few strands of hair away from his eyes. He looked weaker than the first time I had ever seen him. I guess I didn’t notice when we spent all that time together but now that I was up close, I could see the way his eyes were sadder and how his skin had grown paler, along with the hollowness in his cheeks. 

“I’m sorry for scaring you.” I whispered before I slid up a little further.

“M-Me too.” He muttered. The silence that followed was warm and comforting as I laid in his arms. I felt so safe, protected from the world’s evil as he held me in his embrace. I wish I could stay here forever.

“Go to sleep Tae, I’ll see you in the morning.” I said quietly and before I closed my eyes, I found myself doing the most unexpected thing. 

I pressed a soft kiss to his neck; the way a mother would to her sleeping child after a bedtime story. I pulled back to close my eyes and let us go to sleep, but then he spoke after a few beats of silence.

“Again, p-please.” He whispered but it didn’t sound desperate. I gently pressed them onto the skin on his neck again, brushing my lips as I left a silent trail of kisses on him. 

Every once in a while, I heard the way he sighed above me, and I watched as he would gulp nervously. I placed my hand in between our bodies, on top of his beating heart. 

And it was racing. 

“Are you okay?” I whispered as I looked up at him and Taehyung closed his eyes and nodded slightly.

“Do you want more?” Another nod.

“Can we try something?” I suggested, feeling heat rise up to my cheeks at how daring I was becoming. Taehyung opened an eye and I sat up before helping him sit. Beside him, I took his face in my small hands and I looked in his eyes for reassurance before I gulped and leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

I did the same with his cheeks, gentler with the eyes, near his ears, back to his neck, the little specks on his face.

“Beautiful.” was all I muttered in between kisses. 

His skin felt a bit too cold against my lips but it didn’t matter. With his face in my hands, I could ignore everything else as I poured how I felt into each peck. The word ‘perfection’ was made to describe him. His soft skin, his gentle breaths, his kind eyes as they gazed into mine. 

It felt as if he could strip me bare and look into the deepest parts of me with just his eyes. As if he could see how I felt for him just by staring at me for too long. 

“I think I covered everything.” I joked in a whisper as I pulled away, feeling shy now that I was done. But then Taehyung chuckled before placing his hands on the back of my head and neck, thumbs brushing upon my frail skin. I felt so small in his hold, but it made me feel so safe.

I leaned into his touch. One hand stayed on my neck while the other travelled down my shoulder and arm slowly. His fingers hovered over my skin, as if he was afraid he would break me. He drew gentle swirls and circles around my thigh and back, my neck and cheek. 

And in the midst of our intimate moment, my thoughts just had to interrupt. 

We can’t do this.

I slightly pulled away, feeling empty without his touch. 

“What-”

“We shouldn’t do this.” I whispered, taking his hand in mine before setting it down on his lap. 

“W-Why?” He whispered, clasping my fingers in his. I looked at our joined hands and all I felt was a stab in my chest.

“B-Because we can't be together.” I breathed out shakily, the pain starting to translate into the tears about to fall again.

“Because we’re dying.” I looked up at him with tears spilling out onto my cheeks.

“And it’s not fair to the other to love then leave.” I whispered. Of course what I said was true, but God, the way he touched me a few seconds ago, the way I felt that we had forever. 

“B-But-”

“No, I can’t hurt you like that.” I sobbed. The truth was, I didn’t care if I had to go through some pain if I could just feel as if I was in heaven again. But no, I couldn’t impose that type of pain onto Taehyung.

And in that moment, I had the deepest understanding of William Traynor.

I couldn’t love Taehyung the way I wanted to. No matter how much I wish I could stay in his arms forever, whisper to him all the things he deserved to hear every day, hold his hand and be his support.

I couldn’t.

Because one day, I was going to leave. And if he was alone, God I don’t know what that would do to him; I know what it would do to me if he left me. And I wouldn’t wish that upon my greatest enemy.

“I should leave.” I whispered, wiping my tears with my sleeves before I got ready to leave. And when I thought the unexpected had taken a break tonight, Taehyung took my face into his big palms and pulled my face onto his, pressing my lips onto his.

Everyone always said first kisses, as romantic as they sounded, shouldn't have so much weight on them. It made people too nervous to realize the beauty of it.

But at this moment, all I could feel was him. A fire between us, shared in a single kiss. Anguish flowed through, connecting us in ways more than just our lips brushed against each other.

It was beautiful.

And it hurt.

It pained me as my lips touched his because I knew what it meant. I could feel the way he pressed an everlasting goodbye into my soul. His kiss was warm, inviting, and welcoming. Cloud nine was the destination as I felt so many emotions surge through me. Was it wrong to want to stay like this forever? 

Taehyung pulled away before pressing his forehead on mine.

“I ne-ed y-ou.” He whispered and at that moment, I could hear my heart shatter into a million pieces. 

“But I might hurt you.” I cried. Taehyung pulled back and I collapsed into his arms.

“Y-You can n-never h-hu-rt me.” I cried harder into his shoulder. 

“I-It’s-s ok-okay.” He slowly stroked my back, shushing me down as he coaxed my tears away. I felt so helpless. 

Why did falling in love have to cause us pain? Why did it have to hurt?

I wanted to fight it, the gentle circles he drew on my lower back, igniting millions of butterflies within me that I hadn’t known to exist, and lighting every nerve I had on fire. But I felt so safe, so loved. 

I couldn’t leave his embrace even if I tried.

It almost made me wish I hadn’t fallen for him.

//

“You’re only allowed out for an hour, is that understood?” 

“It’s just to the park beside us, don’t worry about it.” I smiled before pushing Taehyung’s chair out the hospital doors. Today, I received news that I merely had weeks left. I told Taehyung and he was so hesitant on going out tonight but I insisted. On the other hand, Taehyung had also grown much weaker and was barely able to speak. I noticed his thinner frame and every time I held him, it felt like I could break him. 

I had barely slept these past few days. When I tried, discomfort seeped into my skin and made it impossible to stay still. I was tired and I almost wanted to lay in bed today but I figured I should do something with the limited time I had left. 

Besides, Taehyung always set ease to my heart.

The park we were heading for had a scarce amount of light but this was something they actually took pride in because it invited so many people to come and watch the night sky. And tonight, there were supposed to be sightings of shooting stars. 

“Are you warm enough?” I asked as I parked his wheelchair next to the bench I was going to sit on. He slightly nodded and I pecked his cheek before taking my seat. I had brought warm tea for us and a straw for him. Once we were settled in, I looked up to see millions of stars blinking on the vast night sky. I took Taehyung’s hand in mine and noticed the adoring look on his face as he stared at it. 

“You know,” I started, tracing the lines on his hands with my finger.

“I used to look at stars and think I was so damn insignificant.” I chuckled while marvelling at the view.

“And I thought that, for a very long time too.” I paused, then sighed a little.

“But now that I’m seeing them with you,” I turned to Taehyung and grinned before placing my head on his shoulder, his hand still in mine. 

“I realize I might be a little important after all.” 

“Y-You ah-” His voice faded at the last word and although he didn’t finish, I understood perfectly. 

I lifted myself to press a kiss to his temple before I sank back onto my seat. I felt that if I closed my eyes at this moment, I could get that long awaited rest. 

But part of me feared I might never open them again.

//

I realized how beautiful Kim Taehyung was when I bumped into him on that stairwell; when his eyes gazed into mine softly and I couldn’t stop thinking about it that night .

I realized how sad Kim Taehyung was when I saw him in the garden and eavesdropped on his conversation with his bodyguard, about how he refused to meet with the other members because of how burdensome he felt.

I realized how lonely Kim Taehyung must have felt when I overheard Yoongi’s conversation with the doctor; how did it feel for him to push away people he loved so much because he couldn’t bear to bring them pain?

I realized I was in love with Kim Taehyung when I placed my hand in his that October night; when he still had a grip strong enough to tell me everything was okay without the words.

I realized that Kim Taehyung and I were always bound to a painful ending when he explained why Will Traynor decided to leave Louisa Clark; he even had to baby me during the credits.

I realized how loved Kim Taehyung was when the members and the crew rented a stadium to perform a few songs just for him; and when he smiled, I felt it too.

I realized how terrifying it was to lose Kim Taehyung when I woke up from my faint and couldn’t find him anywhere; was he afraid of the same for me?

I realized how beautiful and eternal Kim Taehyung and I were when I watched shooting stars cross the sky, reflected on our orbs and printed an unforgettable memory in my mind. That night, he told me how ‘we are forever written in the stars’, and how he wouldn’t let the universe forget about us, ever. 

And I realized all of these things even now, as he laid on his bed with his frail hand in mine, cheeks so hollowed I was afraid to hold his face in my hands. The monitor next to him beeped slowly, and I sat there so destitute. 

The amount of tears I had shed weren’t enough to tell how broken I was. My heart was in shattered pieces, piercing everything inside me. I hadn’t eaten or slept in days, knowing that he didn’t have much time left.

I stared at his face, and watched as he struggled to keep his eyes open as best as he could. He was in grave pain and if there was anything, anything at all that I could do to take that away from him, I would. 

It wouldn’t matter to me if it meant I’d grow sicker, or if I would have died at that moment. Out of all the people in the world, no one deserved this pain, especially a kind soul like Kim Taehyung.

His hand was in mine and despite his small movements, I could tell when he squeezed my hand to reassure me. I was aware of how messy and worn out I must have looked even though I promised to look my best for his final hours. 

But every time I looked up to see his face, a new rush of emotions surged through me and flooded my eyes. 

I suddenly felt a light squeeze on my hand and my head snapped up, frantic and alert. I watched as he gulped and I leaned in so I could hear him better.

“S-Sleep-Sleepy.” He sighed out and I swore I tried my hardest not to burst into tears in front of him. 

“Do you want to go to sleep, Taehyung-ah?” I croaked out. I tried to put a small smile on my face. I knew what he meant and God, I could hear my heart shattering in my ears.

He nodded.

“Okay,” I said in an exhale and pursed my lips before I brought our intertwined hands to my mouth and I pressed a kiss on the back of his hand. 

“Close your eyes darling.” I sat on his bed then whispered.

“When you wake up,” Lightly, I moved strands of his hair away from his eyes. He still looked so beautiful even at this moment. 

“I’ll be here, okay?” I pressed a soft kiss onto his forehead while I placed a hand on his chest. Maybe lies weren’t so bad to help someone rest easily. 

I felt as his heartbeat slowed beneath my palm, and I dreaded each painful second. 

“Y-You’re m-my-y f-forev-er.” He muttered with an exasperated exhale and I smiled at his words as tears streaked down my face and onto his. 

“I love you Kim Taehyung.” 

“Rest well my love.”

//

I looked into the mirror and smiled. I had not looked this beautiful in a while. A pair of arms snaked their way around my waist and spun me around as I admired myself in the mirror. I yelped before a giggle slipped out as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“My angel looks so beautiful today.” He mumbled as he looked me up and down.

“And mine looks the most handsome I have seen him.” 

Taehyung pressed his lips onto mine and pulled me closer. He felt so strong, and he looked so magnificent; the best I had ever seen him. All the pain and sorrow was stripped away from his face and God, he looked ever so ethereal. 

And I could only think of how beautiful we had become.

My everlasting love,

I found myself grinning as he chuckled into our kiss.

We are forever printed on the stars.

//

A/N: I’m back with a Tae fic this time. I haven’t written this much in a while I think so it might feel a bit off TT. Can someone teach me how to add break lines in tumblr, it worked with my first post but I’m so confused now. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and please let me know if I missed any warnings. Thank you!