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bahablastplz · 4 months ago

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All in | Chapter 17

pairing: Lee Felix x f!reader (mafia au)

summary: You didn't know what you were getting yourself into when you started dating Yang Jungwon, notorious mafia boss. Your life gets flipped upside down when you're found beaten and bloody by SKZ, the rival mafia group, and you're quickly integrated into their lives. What will happen when you try to leave your old life behind and start anew?

chapter summary: You made a decision that you seriously hope you won't regret. That, or that it won't kill you first.

chapter warnings: self-harm (in a non-suicidal way), major character death, graphic descriptions of violence, angst

warnings: please see series masterlist for all warnings

series masterlist ~~ series taglist ~~ main masterlist

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There are many things that have led to this very moment and you can’t say that you are very pleased with the turn of events, but sometimes you need to take on responsibilities that you don’t really want to.

Like leaving Felix without saying goodbye.

You genuinely cry in the car the entire car ride. You think a couple of selfish, self-pitying thoughts. Why did it have to be me? Why do I have to be the responsible one? Why couldn’t I have just gone along with this new, picture perfect life, and let Felix carry me away into the sunset? Of course, of course you want to escape and be happy. But you hold yourself to a higher standard and sense of morality than that, and you just can't let everybody else suffer while you get away scot free.

You realize the sense of danger that you’re in. The hardest part of it all, however, is not being able to say goodbye to Felix before you leave. Deep down, you think that he would have let you go but he would have wanted to come with you, and even scarier is the thought of something happening to him because of your own reckless decision making. You’re glad that you were able to have one night with him without the looming anxiety of getting caught.

You just hope that Felix is able to forgive you no matter how this plays out.

Before you get to your destination, you decide to make a pitstop. You’ve been thinking about what story you want to tell and how you can use your words to your advantage. You stop at the gas station to pull over into the restroom to look at yourself in the mirror. Although you look a little frail, mostly all of your wounds and bruises from all of your past endeavors have completely healed up. That’s a little bit unfortunate for what you plan to do, however.

The first thing you do is completely mess up your hair. Rustling and tustling it almost to an unrecognizable degree, you make sure that there’s at least a million knots in it before trying to make it look presentable again (the task is impossible). Next, you tear at your clothes, putting rips in your sleeves and your leggings. Thinking for a moment, you laugh at the ridiculousness of what you’re about to do before letting yourself fall to the bathroom floor, the tiles scraping against your hands and knees and making them bleed.

You re-examine yourself, and while it’s a lot better than what you came in with, you still felt like it wasn’t quite enough. Taking a deep breath, you punched the grimy mirror in the gas station bathroom, watching as it shattered into big shards and fell to the floor. You cringed, knowing you were making quite a ruckus but at the same time it wasn’t likely that anybody would come check on you as there was nobody around for miles. There was just one more thing that would finish the look; taking one small shard of glass, you used it to split your bottom lip. Perfect.

As you left the gas station and got back into the car, you rubbed some dirt on your face and arms just to make sure you looked as rough as you felt. You were probably only twenty or thirty minutes away at this point, so you needed to make sure that you finished your plan down to a T.

You pull the car over, taking one last grounding breath and pulling the gun into the waistband of your leggings. On shaky legs, you walk to the door, hoping that the execution of the first part of this plan goes well.

“I’m here to see Lee Heeseung, please tell him that Y/N L/N is here for him.”

You don’t have to wait very long. Immediately you’re brought upstairs to see Heeseung and you request a private audience with him. You suppose that he grants your wish because of the waterworks that start flowing the second that he starts speaking to you. The tears come easy to you, you suppose, when you tell yourself to think of Felix instead, but it’s all just a ruse.

“I made it out,” you manage to tell him. “I don’t really know what’s happened to me, but they took me from him, from J-Jung–” you can’t even manage to say his name. Not after everything that has happened, but this happens to work well in your favor. “They killed him. They’ve taken everything from me. They’ve been using me for months, and then finally, at the gala, I thought Jungwon was going to take me back, but we were still in a fight. He told me that if I could lure SKZ there that he would take me back and we would get back together, but I wasn’t expecting for them to kill him, Hee… please, don’t make me go back there,” you sob.

Heeseung looks nothing less than confused. It’s clear that he’s been given just about ten different sides of the story, but now that Jungwon is dead there’s no way he can confirm it. There’s only one thorn in the side here… Woojin. But Woojin worked for SKZ first before he betrayed them, and in the technicalities of it all, you’ve known Heeseung for longer and you were the property of ENHA first.

“They told me that you wanted to kill me after Jungwon died,” you sniffle. “I’m sorry. It feels like it’s my fault. Please don’t kill me, Heeseung, you have to believe me when I say I’ve been through so much. It’s not my fault. Bang Chan is such an evil man… I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Heeseung sat for a moment and thought about that. He passed a box of tissues across the table which you gratefully accepted, making a big show of dramatically blowing your nose.

“I just can’t believe he’s really dead, you know? I just feel like none of this would have even happened if we hadn’t gotten into that fight in the first place. SKZ, they found me outside of the bar and I was unconscious and they took me, Hee. I had no choice.” The tears started up again. “And I tried to leave the first night, and they found me, but Bang Chan, he beat me and he locked me in my room…”

Heeseung stood suddenly and you froze. You felt a wave of anxiety pass over you and you suddenly wondered if maybe things wouldn’t go the way that you had planned.

“It seems like I’ve severely misunderstood how things have gone on your part. If you’re truly willing to offer up information, I think we might be willing to work something out between us. Can I offer you a glass of water?”

You nod your head. As Heeseung leaves the room, you wipe your face and discard the tissue. You’ve made it work. You have really been able to play into the distressed and beaten girl card, and with your previous (though brief) encounter with Heeseung through ENHA, you have been able to tune into what little empathetic side he has. Now, this is truly the important part. Standing behind the door, you pull out the gun and turn off the safety. You’re truly thankful at this moment for the opportunity you had to train with Jisung, though your heart is beginning to thump wildly in your chest. You will your hands to stop trembling, as you know you only have one shot.

The door cracks open and you see a glimpse of Heeseung’s face before you take aim and fire, watching as Heeseung slumps to the ground. The water spills ungracefully. You hit him square in the face so it only took one shot, so there is no doubt about the fact that he is dead. With a shaky breath you apologize, because it only feels right to calm the aching guilt that overwhelms your chest, before you leave his office. Nobody comes in to check on him. With the loud noise from the bar and the business that takes place around here, you’re sure it’s not an abnormal ambiance. Plus, he might have given his guards a warning since you were on his kill list. That was exactly what you were counting on.

As you hurry down the hallway overhead the bar, you spot a window that gives you the perfect opportunity to hop down to the first floor and give you the escape you need. You see something out of the corner of your eye however, or someone that hasn’t seemed to notice you yet. In a split second, you have made a decision. Though this strays from your plan, there’s no doubt about it that in making a decision now, you’re tying up a lot of loose ends in the long run.

Quietly, you sneak up behind him, grabbing the man from behind and pulling him into an empty room. When he feels the cool metal of the gun pressed up against his head, he does not struggle.

“What the hell, man, take it easy!” Woojin cries.

“I will not be taking it easy,” you hiss from behind him, your elbow coming around his throat to secure him into a headlock. It is at that moment that it clicks into place for Woojin who it is that is threatening him and his body goes slack, as if relieved.

“Y/N,” he laughs. “It looks like our little mouse has finally left her cage! How fun.”

“I wouldn’t feel so at ease if I were you,” you tell him. “I quite literally have a gun to your head right now.”

“Right,” he practically coos. “Why should I think that you would actually kill me?”

With a large swing, you bash the side of the gun into his head. He nearly crumbles in your arms but you hold him up by his throat. He whines in pain.

“I am sick of people underestimating me,” you spit. “And while I might feel a little bit of remorse for killing Lee Heeseung, I will look back on killing you fondly.”

He sucks in a breath at that.

“You didn’t,” he says.

“I did,” you reply, saccharine sweet. You throw him to the ground so you can have a chance to look down on him one last time. “I do have one thing to thank you for, Woojin. Thanks for helping me to realize how weak I was. If it weren’t for you, there’s no way I would be able to do this.”

You shoot him.

The feeling is different. You don’t want to call it satisfying, because that just seems wrong. But you are proud of yourself, in a sick and twisted sense. You have successfully carried out stage 1 of your operation.

You grab a few things from the bar before you leave. Some supplies, some water. Security is surprisingly lax. It’s almost laughable that ENHA was the sworn enemy of SKZ; maybe things have seriously gone downhill since Jungwon died. Maybe nobody expects someone who looks like you, ‘beaten’ and frail to come in so easily and derail their organization from the inside, but then again, you have been training with SKZ for the past couple of months.

When you get back to your car, you let out a sigh of relief. What a big weight that has been lifted off of your shoulders. If stage 2 of your operation goes according to plan, then you have just made things very easy for yourself in the future. Lee Heeseung no longer wants to kill you, and ENHA is basically out of the picture, along with Woojin. Unfortunately, that was the easier side of the coin to deal with.

You’re not exactly sure how to deal with Chan, because you’re just unsure of how a conversation is going to settle things. On the other hand you could stage a coup with the other members but it just doesn’t seem feasible enough to get in contact with all of them without his knowledge.

You also have no idea how to get into the house without alerting him of your presence.

You end up parking about a mile away. You have plenty of time to think on the walk over but mostly you try to calm your nerves. You find that to be a trend a lot lately. As you approach the house, dawn is starting to encroach, a rude red color plaguing the sky that makes you feel a little uneasy. Moreso, you recognize that something is amiss when you see a motorcycle right in front of the house, tire tracks skidding down the path that leads to the main road. Whoever was on the motorcycle didn’t bother to use the bike stand, instead opting to shove it on its side as if they were in a hurry.

The front door of the SKZ house is wide open. You’re left with a pit in your stomach that something is horribly, horribly wrong.

You don’t walk through the front door, instead choosing to walk to the side of the house. You find one of the many windows that allow you to look into Chan’s room, choosing to peek into one of them that is slightly open. Using your strength, you push it open inch by inch so that nobody will hear or notice the difference. When you finally look inside, you realize that you are now listening to a conversation that you shouldn’t be.

“You don’t understand what you’re talking about. I never took advantage of you,” Chan reasons to someone. “I was simply helping you all along. You never realized what you needed and I helped you. I was there for you and I took care of you. Do you not remember? You were able to accomplish your mission and I was there for you, I stood by your side. I was there for you when your parents died, I gave you a purpose in life and took care of you, and now you are to stand by me and be there for me. It’s what you owe me, and instead you go behind my back and take advantage of me. To me, that seems like absolute betrayal of the highest end, do you not understand?”

“I am not going behind your back,” says a deep voice that you recognize right away. Felix. He’s here right now. Immediately your heart squeezes, knowing that he must have left right away to go looking for you. He put himself in danger and he could’ve gotten himself killed while you were dealing with Heeseung–you didn’t even think of that possibility. Even moreso, you’re overhearing a conversation that’s insanely vulnerable and personal, and while you want to turn away, you know that you need to give yourself this opportunity to interject if needed and protect him. You stay. “Y/N is not an object, she is not either of ours to fight over, Chris. It’s not fair of you to use our past as a way to manipulate me about this.”

“Do you not understand and appreciate everything that I’ve done for you?” Chan asks. “Everything that I’ve done for everyone here?”

“Of course I do, Chris, but for how long? How long are you going to keep holding that over me? The person who killed my parents is dead. I’ve been over it for a long time. How long are you going to keep stringing me along? Will there ever be an end?”

You climb in through the window, gun in hands. You think you’re being quiet enough. You close an eye, taking aim, continuing to listen to the conversation.

“Felix, there was never going to be an end. You know that, right? Surely you were never that dumb.”

“What?” Felix blinks at him, dumbfounded.

“Y/N!” Chan calls your name and you nearly trip. You take a step forward, aim unwavering. That’s when you realize that Felix is sitting on the floor, slumped over. He seems to be injured, his hand grasping his side and his breathing unsteady.

“There has to be an end,” you tell him. Chan looks at you, big eyes blinking and mouth parted in a little ‘o; shape.

“And you think that will end right now? You’re going to shoot me right here?”

“Yes,” you tell him.

Chan looks at you, then at Felix, then at you. “I’m surprised,” he says. “And a little hurt.”

This makes you falter for just a second, which is all the time he needs to cross the room. He disarms you in a second flat. His arms are around your body, his breath is in your ear.

“I’ve realized something,” he whispers. “Do you know that I love you?”

Of course, you knew this. Woojin clocked it since the gala, the way he had been acting towards you. And of course, there was the fact that he had asked to take you on a date, the possessive behavior, the fact that he locked you up so that you would fall in love with him eventually instead of Felix. You had predicted this from a mile away, but you didn’t expect for him to admit it so bluntly. Not like this, not as a manipulation tactic when you came here with one goal in mind.

“You can’t say that, Chan,” you tell him.

“I do,” he admits. “I love you. I think I’ve loved you since day 1.”

“Is that supposed to make everything right?” you tell him. “You’ve fucked up, Chan. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make things right now. You have hurt me, you have hurt the people that I care about, and you are a violent and manipulative person.”

“What are you trying to say?” he asks, lowering his voice.

“I don’t love you back,” you tell him, finality in your voice. “I’m sorry, but I never can.”

“Is it because you love him instead?” he asks, pointing at Felix.

“That’s not the only reason,” you say, frustrated. “I don’t know how else to make you understand.”

“But you do,” he points out. “Love him.”

“I do, but–”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Chan sighs. He pulls out the very same gun that you were going to use against him, putting it in your hands. His own hands clasp over yours, holding on tight. He aims the gun at Felix.

“Chan, what are you doing? Please, stop!” you cry out, panicked. You squirm against his grasp but his hold on the gun is firm.

“Felix, do you know why there was never going to be an end to all of this?” Chan asks. Felix shakes his head limply. “Because you never actually killed the man who put the order out against your parents all those years ago. In any sense, neither of our missions are done.”

“Chris, what are you talking about?” Felix asks with gritted teeth.

“Do I have to spell it out for you, mate? I put out the order. I killed your parents. I found you, I recruited you, and I helped you to find your purpose here. So your noble mission to avenge your parents that ended years ago never really happened,” Chan explains. Though you don’t really know the full story, you feel sick to your stomach. “I was never going to tell you, but I might as well since I’m going to kill you now myself anyways. It’s a little bittersweet after having you as my right-hand man for all these years, but you do crazy things in the name of love.”

You feel his hands tighten around the trigger. You jerk slightly at the last moment, screaming as the trigger goes off. You just hope that it was enough to not do any serious damage. You can’t help the sob that escapes your lips. All you wanted was for Felix to stay safe, and after everything his downfall might be your fault. The gun drops to the floor and skids across the floor and you drop to your knees, scurrying to pick it up before you feel a tight grasp around your waist, hoisting you up to your feet. The grasp settles around your throat, holding you tightly from behind.

“You still want to shoot me that bad, huh?” Chan asks. “Do you think you have it in you?”

“I don’t know,” you tell him.

“Have you ever shot someone before?” he asks.

“No,” you lie. You have nothing to prove to him at the moment. You want to focus on getting out of this chokehold, so you think back to your self-defense training with Changbin and Felix and focus on what your next steps should be.

You lean your head forward, hoping to get as much momentum as you can for when you swing it backwards to catch it against Chan’s face, hard. You know that your head has connected right with Chan’s nose by the loud cracking sound it makes, and so you waste no time in turning around to knee him right in the groin.

He seems very caught off guard by your sudden actions.

Next, you push him backwards as hard as you can, knocking him off of his balance. You’re surprised that you were actually able to do this, given that it was more of a risky move. He doesn’t fall, but he takes a few steps backwards in order to right himself. In the meantime, you pull a long knife out of your hoodie pocket. Specifically, you made sure to grab this as a backup option before you left the ENHA bar.

With a running start, you lodge the knife into his chest. He grabs your wrist, but you’re quick to remove his hand with your other hand. With both hands, you remove the knife and shove it back in again and again.

“You can’t half-ass shoving a knife into someone–you have to do it with as much force as you can and into a vital spot. If you’re using a knife to protect yourself, you need to do it with the intent to kill. Best case-scenario, you’ll need to stab them multiple times in order to really do some damage,” Changbin had said. You could really thank him just about now. You had no idea just how much that piece of advice would come in handy.

When you look down at Chan, you’re not expecting him to laugh. Pale in the cheeks and hair already sticking to his face, you know that you’ve won. Still, you’re completely thrown off by his actions.

“What?” you ask.

“I really did love you, you know,” he tells you. “Maybe things would have worked out under different circumstances.”

You really weren’t expecting him to say that. “Oh,” you say.

“I would’ve just hurt you,” he says. “I’ve only ever hurt people. It’s the only thing I’ve been good at. I just wasn’t expecting for you to be the one to hurt me,” he chuckles.

“Don’t make me feel worse about this,” you say, looking away. “This was your own doing–the only option you gave us. I don't want to sit here and have you make me feel like maybe all along you were this good person, or that maybe you deserved something better, because you don't. I hope you know that none of us wanted this. It had to end like this.”

And with one last sputtering cough, Bang Chan closes his eyes and doesn’t open them again. You somehow feel like you have both won and lost at the same time, and you can’t help but feel that that is exactly as he had intended.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

a/n: aasdhj here it is! i hope nobody was expecting this!! <3 let me know your thoughts and the finale should be out within the next few days.

taglist: @shuporanporang ; @purp13st4r ; @eurydiceofterabithia ; @heartsbyandra ; @thicccurls ;

@rylea08 ; @the-sweetest-rose ; @oddracha ; @kapelover ; @goldenmellow ;

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wolverineluvr · 1 year ago

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(This is in response to an ask but I accidentally deleted it, so, whoever that was, here it is!<3)

You won't leave me.

Content Warning ⛈️: Suicide, attempted suicide, mentions of making reader limbless, kidnapping, nonconsensual nonsexual touching and kissing, suggestive thoughts and thoughts of r4pe! Reader uses she/her pronouns. Ft. Yandere Xiao, Scaramouche, Venti and Kazuha x reader!

So, just dark content! If you don't like it or can't handle it, please, just leave. If that sounds rude I apologize but don't read something you might not be able to handle! ♡

Summary🔎: They're finally leaving you alone for a little while, maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to escape?

Part 1

I don't condone these actions. If you are having thoughts about taking advantage of someone, do not do it and get help.

If you have thoughts about hurting yourself or commiting suicide, know that you aren't alone and please try to reach out for help.

Words: 1k!

Estimated read time: 5 minutes!

You hate it here. You can't even cry, when you do, you get coddled or yelled at. You haven't been left alone for a year. Showers, going to the bathroom, sleeping, eating, everything! You don't want to feel anymore. Everything hurts. You're so tired of it all. But, finally, you have some alone time. "I will miss you, Dove, but I don't have a choice! Xiao will be back quickly, alright? So you won't be alone!" Venti coos as he holds your cheek. When they leave, and come back, they always hold onto you so much. It's so horrible. You miss your friends.. You know not all of them are still alive. Some of them have even been killed right in front of you as a punishment for acting out! Just a little protest!

You nod in response to Venti, forcing back the tears that threaten to spill except, for the first time in a long time, they're tears of joy. You quickly snap out of it, though. "Oh, poor Dove! Don't cry my love," Venti says, reaching to cup your cheek. You didn't even realize you were crying. But you play along with Venti, you have to, or there's a chance he won't leave. "I'll just miss you so much!" You say, internally cringing as you force yourself to hug Venti. You make yourself cry harder, thinking of everyone you've ever cared about dead. It works. "Don't worry, my love, I'll be back soon enough!" Venti coos, as a grin breaks out on his youthful face. You know he doesn't really believe you. Venti pats and rubs your back, kissing your forehead before lifting your face up to his, pressing his lips to yours. Kissing you.

You want to scream, to tell him to stop, to leave you alone! But you just comply, kissing Venti back as you cry a little more. The kiss is vulnerable, soft, in Venti's mind at least. To you, it's invasive, predatory, disgusting. You hate it. You hate him. Venti breaks the kiss. "Buh bye my love! Don't do anything stupid, alright?" Venti smiles, petting your hair. You nod, looking at him as he kisses your cheek and walks out of the door, unlocking the many locks before leaving the house and relocking all of them. You're sure there are more locks outside. You breathe out a sigh of relief and joy, a grin breaking out on your face, one that you were holding back before.

You laugh to yourself, you probably look so stupid, don't you? You wipe your tears. They've proofed the house so you can't hurt yourself without it being painful, and they know knew that you couldn't do that, you're you were scared of pain. So it's picture frames after picture frames of them and you, no knives or sharp objects, no weapons, plastic baby utensils, baby cups, etc. It's so dehumanizing. But, not anymore.

You break everything you can in the house. One last picture frame stares at you. It's a picture of you, Xiao, Kazuha, Venti and Scaramouche. Although Scaramouche and Xiao didn't really want to be in the picturenot rlly w Xiao. You rip it off of the wall, throwing it against the ground like you've done all the others. Yeah, maybe that's wasted time. But you wanna get back at them. At least a little.

Route 1

(I have never attempted to hurt myself in such extreme, so forgive me if I don't write it correctly)

You pick up a shard of broken glass, you tightly grip the glass, causing yourself to bleed as the glass cuts into your palm. You wince. You press the glass to your wrist. But, you hesitate. You don't want it to hurt. But this is the only way to escape. But you don't want to die. You press the glass against your wrist, cutting into it. You wince, tears start to stream down your face again. It hurts. You take the glass from your wrist and wince as the cold air reaches the wound on your wrist. You move the glass down, cutting into it again, this time, lower. You continue to cut, until you feel dizzy from blood loss. You pass out.

You...

☆ bled out! ☆

Route 2

Suddenly, the door is broken open. It's Xiao. "What is it you think you're doing!?" Xiao yells, quickly at your side and puting pressure on your wrist wound. He flings the shard of glass out of your hand, it shatters on impact against the wall. You struggle to get away from Xiao, trying to move back as you sob. "No! Stop! Let go of me!" You yell, but Xiao grabs you by the back of your neck, stepping over the shattered glass and various other objects, and he brings you to the bathroom.

Xiao starts to bandage and patch up your wrist. You didn't cut too deep, you were scared after all. Xiao softens. "Come on." Xiao grunts, lifting you up and bringing you to the bedroom as you sob and plead. Normally, the ones with the worst punishments are Venti or Scaramouche, and sometimes Xiao. So that's what you assume is going to happen. "Shut up. I'm not going to hurt you." Xiao says, laying you down on the bed and laying beside you. He hugs you close to him. He's glad he got here before you did anything more. But he's angry. Angry that you tried to leave him.

Maybe he'll cut off your arms or legs so you can't run or do anything without him. Just a compliant little bird. He would feed you, bathe you, have you drink things, have you be absolutely unable to do anything as he slots himself in between your thighs(that's where your legs would end, just above your knees), sinking himself inside of you inch by inch-

"Xiao..?" You tiredly whisper, snapping himself out of his thoughts. "Yes?" Xiao says, sharply. "I-I'm sorry..." You murmur, barely awake. Xiao curtly nods in response. Xiao feels you cry as you start to fall asleep. It's been a few minutes, probably around ten or twenty. Huh. Guess he just lost track of time.

You fall asleep. When you wake, Scaramouche is yelling at Venti. "Why did you leave her alone!? You stupid archon!" Scaramouche yells, glaring at Venti. "Says the puppet." Venti snaps, glaring back. Kazuha is cooing to you, realizing you've woken. You're laying in-between his legs, your back against his stomach.

You...

☆ Survived without a punishment! ☆

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lovverletters · 2 years ago

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My Boy

《Yandere!Playboy X Taken! Male Reader》

Note that this is a reupload from my previous blog @hyerinrose

T/W : yandere behaviour, infidelity, suicidal thoughts, possessive behaviour, internalised homophobia, Obsessive behaviour.

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

Everything was perfect. (Name) is content with the cards he has been dealt with in his life. He had a loving and supportive family, his academics performance were outstanding and most importantly he is dating the girl of his dream, Maya.

Although they had only been going out for a few months, (Name) could already picture a future with the girl. Call him a hopeless romantic but he can't help it!

"(Nameeeeee) you're spacing out againn. Am I that boring?"

Maya voice snapped him out of his thoughts.The two were currently on a date at an ice cream parlour. (Name) stared at his girlfriend who's sitting across the table, admiring her beauty.

(Name) might be biased but Maya is an absolute beauty in his eyes. Her long dirty blonde hair was tied into a braid and slung against her shoulder, green irises and specks of freckles complimented her already pretty face.

"It's not like that, Aya. You're so beautiful I can't help but be put into a trance" (Name) said with a smile that eventually broke into a grin as Maya grew flustered.

"Oh hush you! S-stop laughing at me (Nameeee)!

"Maya flicked her matcha flavoured treats at him, to which (Name) retaliated by flicking his own (F/Flavour) ice cream.

The display of affection between the two was ignored by many other except for one individual who stared at them with curious eyes. Sapphire eyes trailed over the couple that was absorbed in their own world, foolishly in love.

Xavier first reaction towards the couple was envy. He had been pursuing Maya for months to add to his ever-growing list of girls he had bedded. However he was always met with hard-cold refusal from her.

'She rejected me for this loser of a man? Unbelievable' He sneered in his mind.

He then observed the 'loser' Maya had chose over him. (H/C) flowed gently with the breeze, his (E/C) twinkled with happiness as he goof around with the girl. (Name) smiled brightly that it could put the sun to shame.

As he thought, Plain. Boring. Average.

The man were not even close to Xavier's level, he's practically a dirt in his eyes. Obviously Xavier is better than that loser? He's going to show Maya that he's better than him.

'No matter what, I'm going to take her away from you'

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The sounds were numbing Xavier's brain the longer the hours dragged on. Half of the students were already asleep 10 minutes into the lesson.

He would've been sleeping too had he not been keeping his eyes trained on his rival who's only two seats away from him. Xavier swore he's only staring because he needs to find a dirt on (Name).

".... Mr (Name), you would be pairing with Mr Xavier for this project" His teacher called out the two boys' names causing both of them to stare at each other incredulously.

"With the pairings have been set, be sure to turn in your work by next week. Class is dismiss" the teacher wave them off and left the classroom.

The two boys had different feelings in being paired with one another. (Name) was devastated, Xavier seems like a dickhead who would force him to do all the work and take all the credits afterward. Alas, he had to push through anyway, the project was 20% of his grades.

Xavier however was elated, warmth spreads throughout his body at the mention of his and (Name)'s name together. Great! Now Xavier can spend a lot of time observing (Name) even closeㅡ

Wait. Why the hell is he acting like this? He's not into (Name).

He's after Maya! Xavier's not.. gay is he? No, he's not.

"Hey" (Name)'s voice jolted the player from his spiralling thoughts. His cheeks heats up and he could feel his heart speeds up.

'I'm just surprised is all. Nothing weird' he reasoned.

"What? Hurry up, I've got no time for nobodies like you" Those words slip out of his tongue easily as if he wasn't panicking with having (Name) this close to him.

The (H/C) male sighed through his nose and held out his phone. Xavier rose his eyebrow at the action.

"I need your numbers for this project. I'll delete it after we're done if it bother you so much" (Name) open his contacts to add Xavier's info.

Surprisingly, Xavier obediently agrees and handed over his phone for (Name) to input his own numbers with no complaint.

"Thanks. I'll contact you about the details later" (Name) then left him all alone in the classroom with conflicted feeling brewing inside of him.

'Damnit.. what is wrong with me?'

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

A week went by and Xavier had made a ground breaking discovery about himself.

After constant denial of his feelings, he had finally came to the conclusion that the one he was interested in wasn't Maya. No, it was her boyfriend, (Name).

The short time they spent together were the push he needed to realise his infatuation with the male. All those things he described (Name) were the exact opposite of what he truly is.

(Name) was kind to him despite being reluctant to pair up with him early on, his sense of humour was immaculate. Xavier had never laughed so hard in his life before the jokes (Name) would crack while working through their project.

(Name) is perfect. He's everything Xavier had been looking for.

Xavier obsesses over the (H/C) male, stalking him, stealing little trinkets (Name) left by accident. Taking millions of polaroids and sticking them to his walls.

However Xavier was brought back to reality when they submitted the project. (Name) was never his, the time they spent together were that of a friends. Soon his beloved will go back to being around that pest of a girl.

His previous envy were now turned towards Maya. The time (Name) spent with her could've been with him. (Name)'s kisses should've belongs to him, (Name)'s affection and love should've belongs to him. (Name)'s everything should've belong to him!

Xavier decided that he had enough of this and will take things to his own matter. One way or another, (Name) will be his.

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

(Name) felt tears welling up his eyes as he watches the video on his phone. It was all over the school, his girlfriend Maya had cheated on him with his friend, Xavier.

He closed the video and shut his phone off as he furiously wiped his tears. The students around him gave him a pity look, they wouldn't let this slide. (Name), the most sweetest guy is being hurt by his girlfriend?

They're going to make her life a living hell until she either moves away or take her own life.

Xavier approached (Name) who was sobbing in one of the stalls. The (H/C) took notice of this immediately and scrambled to walk away. He's not ready to face with the man he thought was his friend.

"Oh no you don't, (Name). Don't you dare run away from me!" Xavier pinned the boy on the stall. Leaving him no room to escape.

"Whatㅡ what else do you want from me?! You slept with my girlfriendㅡ what more do you want?" (Name) said while struggling under Xavier's surprisingly strong hold.

His breath hitches when the player got close to his face, their nose touching.

"You. I want you. Everything I've done is for you, (Name). I had to get rid of her since she was nothing more than a homewrecker! You belong to me (Name) and I had enough of seeing her taking things from you that were supposed to be mine!" Xavier were manic, his blue eyes were crazed.

"Whaㅡ" (Name) were terrified.

"Hey, (Name). I love you a lot you know? And I'm going to show you it~"

•┈••✦ 🎀✦••┈•💌•┈••✦ 🎀 ✦••┈•

#tw: yandere #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere male #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere x male reader #yandere male x male reader #yandere male x reader

2K notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 3 months ago

Text

In the mood for...

Nov 1st

~*~

1. Hey so ITMF fics that A) have various sect leaders realize that the wens at the burial mounds are women, elderly and a child (not a threat to anyone) and DO Something about it! and B) any fics with heavy angst but happy ending. Last is C) any fics where wwx is abused/mistreated by lans or at cloud recesses

I know it’s a lot to ask and thank everyone who at least takes a look at my requests! @lonelyreverance

1A)

Blooming in white by luckymoonly (T, 38k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, MM/WQ, NMJ/LXC, NHS/JC, Canon Divergence, Mpreg, Getting Together, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, hidden pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Drama, Misunderstandings, Everyone Lives AU, Miscommunication, WWX and NHS are BFF, matchmaker NHS, Fix-It)

every breath that comes before by tardigradeschool (T, 10k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Poison, Golden Core Reveal, Sharing a Bed, Hair Brushing, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, WWX’s terrible self-esteem)

Green-gege Saves a lot of Lives by Eternal_writes (T, 11k, WangXian, WQ & WWX, WN & WWX, YLLZ WWX, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wen Remnants Live, Everyone Lives, Fix-It, Soft NMJ, POV NMJ, POV WWX, Supportive NMJ, Protective NMJ, NMJ solves all the problems unintentionally, NHS Knows Everything, NHS's spies are talked about alot, NHS manipulates from the shadows like the best friend he fucking is, NHS & WWX Friendship, Sworn Brothers NHS& WWX & WN, BSSR makes a small appearance at the very end, Immortal BSSR is the best grandmother, Golden Core Reveal, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Good Sibling JC, Soft JC, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX Lives, WWX Loves LWJ, WWX is not as oblivious as canon, WWX gets the help he deserves and his family back, Featuring WWX's inventions)

while covered in mud by merthurlin (T, 12k, NHS & WWX, NHS & NMJ, NHS & Wen remnants, mentioned wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, NHS goes farming and Hates It)

We can fix that by Spindoctor (E, 85k, WangXianJue, Threesome - M/M/M, NMJ Lives, Arranged Marriage, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Cock Warming, Caretaking, Light BDSM, Thigh jobs, Everyone Loves WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Starvation, Canon-Typical Violence, Starvation recovery, PTSD, PTSD RECOVERY, Suicidal Ideation, Scars, Discussion of Surgery, mild body horror, discussion of starvation, body talk, Nightmares, screaming ghosts, WWXs canonical cnc kink, cnc fantasies, Light Bondage, tender fucking, instead of talking about feelings, Slow Burn, JYL Lives, BAMF JYL, Erectile Dysfunction, Weight Gain, Chapter Specific Tags in Beginning Notes)

1B)

Rebirth of a Wretched Mayfly by marikazz (M, 15k, WangXian, Time Loop, Time Travel, Groundhog Day, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Trust Issues, Hurt WWX, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Okay, Mental Breakdown, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Angst, Dissociation, Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, POV WWX)

Sunder by naqaashi (E, 32k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Mutual Pining, Emotional Sex, Porn with Feelings, PWP, Light BDSM, Fix-It, POV LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Light Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal Thoughts)

❤️ The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen by KouriArashi (T, 139k, wangxian, xiyao, chengqing, romance, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, politics, revenge, families of choice, pining) This fic is already very canon-divergent (it's an AU where wwx is adopted by the Dafan Wen)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 146k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP)

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

Birthday Party by waffles_4_breakfast (E, 102k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Slow Burn, Poison, Torture, Requited Unrequited Love, First Time, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Come as Lube, Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, Spit As Lube, Rimming, Consensual Non-Consent, Safe Sane and Consensual, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 (M, 277k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Zombie Apocalypse, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Accidental Baby Acquisition During a Zombie Apocalypse, Junior Quartet, (except they’re all babies), Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Ensemble Cast, Worst Zombie Fighting Team Ever, Found Family)

🔒 when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

💖 Shattered Dreamsby pupeez4eva (Not Rated, 8k, WangXian, Time Travel, Angst, lots and lots of angst, Character death, but it’s WWX so he is coming back, WWX time travels back to the Nightless City And doesn’t let JYL take the blow for him, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, And then just lots of fluff and WangXian and Yunmeng sib feels to make up for all the angst)

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, 🔒 [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (WordsWritInStarlight) (G, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, inquiry, LSZ is the best of boys and I will not hear debate, Music, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, [Podfic] to the act of making noise by Ceewelsh, flamingwell, kisahawklin, Rionaa)

1C)

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending) Wei Ying is mistreated/unfairly treated by the Lans in Concord, Mourning Robes and Preparing the Soil

Mourning Robes by Starlight1395 (T, 17k, wangxian, No Sunshot Campaign, Arranged Marriage AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Depression, dissociating, Mild Blood, Fluff, juniors idolizing WWX like he deserves, slowburn between WWX and Cloud Recesses, Hinted smut, Jingyi has a CRUSH, Supportive JC)

Preparing the Soil by Rynne (T, 26k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Family Conflict, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Chinese Holidays, Chinese New Year, Birthdays, Good Kid LSZ, Meta Arguments, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, Married WangXian, LWJ’s Birthday, LSZ’s Birthday, Soft WangXian, LWJ Has to Talk a Lot, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Gusu Lan Sect, Letting Go of Resentment, The WWX Rule, Good Sibling LXC, Improving Uncle LQR, Grappling with the Lans’ Part in the Siege, learning to be better, Music, LWJ is a Composer, LWJ Is Good at Communicating Actually, Not JC Friendly)

they keep the phoenix in a bamboo cage by Kieron_ODuibhir (T, 41k, WangXian, Amnesia, YLLZ WWX, Angst, Humor, Dramatic Irony, Character Study, BAMF WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, no dubcon beyond canon-typical misunderstanding kisses, and references to wangxian's usual under-negotiated cnc, but essentially, fake Dark LWJ) Wei Ying thinks he's being held prisoner by the Lans

Take Him Back, Hide Him Away by Anonymous (E, 5k, WangXian, Forced Marriage, Forced Orgasm, Wedding Night, Somnophilia, Dark LWJ, a bit of blood but not much, Kidnapping, Breeding Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con Elements) Wei Ying is truly abused by Lan Zhan in Take Him Back...Please mind the tags on the last one.

~*~

2. hiii do u know of any angsty yanli fics? they don't gotta be centered on any one point in her life but I feel like there's a lot of angst potential when it comes to her realtionship with madam Yu (like in the lotus seed story!!)

The Rage of Daughters by givemeunicorns (T, 51k, XuanLi, WangXian, ChengQing, MianLi, Grief/Mourning, Family Issues, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Yanli lives but she has to work through some stuff okay?, Forgiveness, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Major Character Undeath)

Aftermath by KouriArashi (T, 57k, JYL/JZX, wangxian, LXC/JGY, JZX & JGY, JYL & WXX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Romance, Developing Relationship, Family, Sibling Bonding, Light Angst, Politics, Attempted Sexual Assault, some murder on occasion, People talking about their feelings, processing their trauma, The good shit)

~*~

3. Itmf fics where they are thespians (aka they do plays/musicals)

There are a number I’ve read for #3, theater-related works, but I will tout the very entertaining Scrippio’s works (there are several), including

Players gonna play by Scrippio (T, 68k, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, Modern, College/University au, Theater AU, Director WWX, Faculty advisor LWJ, grad student JC, Baker JYL, grad student WQ, Fluff, First Meeting, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Depression)

🧡 Fakespeare in the Park by Scrippio (T, 72k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, Modern AU, Modern: No Powers, Theatre, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Plus some very on purpose baby acquisition, The occasional existential crisis, all the relationships are established, Light Angst, one emergency surgery, but it’s fine)

and the not theater but Ren Faire offering (which is a second home to theater kids everywhere) 🧡 Faire thee well by Scrippio (T, 77k, WangXian , ChengQing, XuanLi, 3Zun, Modern AU, Renaissance Faire, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Slow Burn)

to aim at poetry with pistols series by azurewaxwing (E, 34k, WangXian, LJY/LSZ, Modern, College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, Actors, Theatre, Multimedia, Pining, Cancer, LWJ can have a little turtle (as a treat), Minor Character Death, Smut, Anal Sex, The duality of LWJ: always horny and always poetry)

Talisman by Witch_Nova221 (M, 192k, WangXian, Modern AU, Eventual Romance, Theatre, Rock Band, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Spousal Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Stalking, Minor Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining)

Fanciful Nature by QuietReader25 (E, 168k, WangXian, peking opera, Theatre, 1930s, Flowers, Smut, Slow Burn, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Sad WWX, Pining, Drunk LWJ, Mutual Pining, Drunken Shenanigans, Love Confessions, Singing, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Mystery, Past Character Death, Attempted Sexual Assault, Violence, Parties, Bunnies, First Kiss, First Time, Jealous LWJ, Possessive Sex, Emotional Sex, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Character Death, Bath Sex, Riding, Slight Choking)

~*~

4. Hello! Itmf WWX returning to Lotus Pier and taking his position as first disciple and/or teaching students again. Thank you! @gloriousclotpole

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

🔒 Tether by WithBroomBefore (T, 40k, WangXian, SangLi, WWX’s passive suicidality, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Golden Core Reveal, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV JYL, Grief/Mourning, Sunshot Campaign, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, LWJ makes friends, Fix-It, Happy Ending)

family by antebunny (G, 8k, JC & WWX, WangXIan, JYL/JZX, Fix-It, Angst, Fluff, Found Family, actual family, Everybody Lives, JC is a good bro, Epic Tsundere JC, wwx's horde of gremlin children, Canon Divergence) Wei Ying is no longer officially head disciple after it's revealed he lost his core in family but he trains and recruits disciples for Jiang Cheng.

~*~

5. Hey all I was kinda in the mood for fics that sorta give the same feel as Sonny’s Edge (from Netflix) involving wwx obviously. I would appreciate anything you can come up with but would prefer a long fic … and maybe a happy ending after an angsty bit! @lonelyreverance

~*~

6. ITMF please!

I recently read Dreams of Cultivation by mortuus_lingua and it was amazing! Are there any more gamer or game-themed fics with wangxian? 🥺

simping for hanguang-jun by defractum (nyargles) (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, YouTubers WangXian, Fluff, Among us game, Streamer AU)

Wei Ying’s Smile is Beautiful by Guineapigs1 (T, 66k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Video Game World, Gaming, Identity Porn, Oblivious WWX, Mutual Pining, Online Romance, Love O2O AU)

🔒Duo With You by Nyatci (T, 48k, WIP, WangXian, JFM/YZY, XuanLi, College/University, Gamers WàngXiàn, Casual Gaming, enemies to lovers (sorta), Secret Identity vibes, they play league of legends, Kinda Crack but treated very seriously, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Comedy, But also, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Abusive Jiang Family, Eventual Happy Ending)

🔒【为梦想而战】for this dream, i'll fight by paradisetrain (M, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Gamer AU, League of Legends, Gaming Jargon, Social Media, Internet Hate, cancel culture, Hacking, Cheating, Internet Scandal, Bad Parenting, Parent Death, Family Issues, Family Feels, Healing, Falling In Love)

Our Red String of Fate is a Wireless Connection by TheLegendOfChel (M, 24k, wangxian, college/university au, esports, internet famous, secret identity, WIP)

🔒Make It Right by Prince_kun (M, 28k, WangXian, NieLan, SongLan, ChengQing, Transmigrator WWX, Historical, Video Game World, Transmigration, Canon - Modao Zushi & The Untamed Combination, Implied/Referenced Medical Condition, Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, War AU, warprizewwx, Crack Treated Seriously, Pretty Woman Fusion, Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Modern man wwx, Protective LWJ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, Oblivious WWX, Action/Adventure, BAMF LQY, General LWJ, LWJ is LSZ’s Parent, Love Doctor XXC, Love Doctor SL, Historical Inaccuracy, Parent LWJ)

You're my Destiny. by headBONDmeLWJ (T, 44k, WangXian, Modern AU, POV WWX, Pining WWX, Oblivious WWX, Gamer WWX, Gamer LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, Idiots in Love, Awkward Crush, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, WWX-centric, Internally Screaming LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Pining LWJ, LWJ is Whipped, POV LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Established WangXian)

~*~

7. Hello! Are there any fanfics that Wei wuxian and lan wangji were married but just stayed indifferent to each other until many years later? @lanwuxian0725

~*~

8. Hello,

I was wondering for itmf if there is a fic with nice intimacy written for Wen Ning?

But please not with WY

Thank you!

Honey Lavender by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds (E, 15k, ChengNing, Slow Burn, Pining, Awkward First Times, Canon Divergence, Jealousy, Top JC, Bottom WN, Consensual Underage Sex, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers or something like that, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Cinnamon Roll WN, Eventual Necrophilia)

~*~

9. hello! i'm not sure if any of them exist but just in case... for the next itmf if anyone knows any i would love to read canon/post-canon fics where sizhui views wwx as his father but not lwj

~*~

10. ITMF a fic where wwx finds out that lwj actually has game (as in, he regularly hooks up with different people). something similar to "our friendship (up against the ropes)". any fic in general where lwj completely subverts wwx's stuffy impression of him

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, background NieLan, background QingMian, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation, Background XuanLi)

it's always open by ScarlettStorm (E, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, vague north american setting, First Time, Getting Together, Pining while fucking, Some angst, Happy Ending, lwj FUCKS, Sexual exploration, demi wwx, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, confused but enthusiastic consent, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, truly absurd amounts of naked pillow talk, switch rights)

On The Way by 8Zaire8 (E, 13k, WangXian, Smut, so much porn, PWP, Fluff, Porn with Feelings, Getting Together, Public Sex, Library Sex, restaurant sex, Riding, Nipple Play, Nipple Clamps, Anal Sex, Fuckboy LWJ, Transfer student WWX, High School, Facial, Top WWX/Bottom LWJ, Light Bondage, Mentions of past abuse from YZY, mentions of Lan Zhan and other characters, slight somnophilia, Power Bottom LWJ)

To See You (Again) by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) ( E, 84k, WangXian, Modern AU, London, No Magic AU, lwj FUCKS, But Like Bottomji Fucks, Friends to Lovers, Self-Discovery, Pining, Grindr, Light Bondage, mild D/s themes, Experienced LWJ, Less Experienced WWX, straight boy WWX)

~*~

11. Hi! I’m looking for modern aus that include A-Yuan being legally adopted by WWX. I just read let’s play pretend and live our lives by tassos and the dynamics there between WWX and A-Yuan were so lovely, I wanna read more fics like that. Thank you!!

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer, a Spanish version of the fic, Turkish translation, Translation into Русский availabl) this has A-Yuan being adopted jointly by Wangxian

estuaries by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 34k, wangixan, modern, breakup/makeup, pining while fucking, single dad WWX, angst w/ happy ending)

🧡 i really want to know (who are you) by Stratisphyre (M, 19k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Golden Core Reveal, Single Dad WWX, Reasonable Authority Figure LQR, Allusions to violence and murder, Hospitalization)

Magic Mishap by Regency_Bunny (T, 8k, wangxian, Modern, imbo LXC, Single Parent WWX, Kid Fic, Magic Tricks, Fluff and Humor, Child LSZ, Meet-Cute, Bunnies, Misunderstandings, Love at First Sight)

Picture Perfect by manaika (M, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, Past Relationship(s), Widower WWX, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Stepfather WWX, LSZ is a Wèi, Single Parent WWX, Aromantic Relationship, Platonic Life Partners, it’s all in the past and only mentioned/discussed when relevant, Sex-Favorable Asexual WWX, RomanceHurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Food Intake Related Medical Issue (not what you think) )

The Late Great Custody Debate by stiltonbasket (G, 9k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, JC & WWX & JYL, modern, Domestic Fluff, baby a-yuan, Single Parent WWX, LWJ is a confused rabbit owner, nielan are married, nhs is: xoxo gossip girl, Custody Arrangements, engagement, Confused WWX, WWX voice: if i’m the one with the kid why are you suing ME for child support?, LWJ kills his own love life in the worst way, Happy Ending)

The stuffed bunny, the beautiful nephew, and other gifts from Lan Qiren by deliciousblizzardshark (G, 8k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Uncle Acquisition, Found Family, Fluff)

And They Were Quarantined series by thunderwear (E, 49k, WangXian, 3zun, quarantine fic, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, LXC is a total slut for his roommates and he isn't even trying to hide it, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Getting Together, Single Dad WWX, Long-Distance Relationship, Fluff, almost no angst, Happy Ending, First Time, Phone Sex, switching POV, Domestic Fluff, some smut, Rabbits, little a-yuan is the best, Anxiety Attacks, Touch-Starved LWJ gets his hug!, And Then Some ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ), a-yuan is best boy, A-Yuan is an agent of chaos and everyone thinks its cute, And they're right …but not for long? NHS should never be trusted alone with kids)

i guess i’ll have to change my plan by darjeelinh (E, 35k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Love at First Sight, First Kiss, First Time, Inspired by Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004), soft rom-com vibes, One Night Stands, but not really, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, they both have demi vibes in this fight me about it, Loss of Virginity, Misunderstandings, Separations, Reunions, wangxian canon Elopement™️ shenanigans, now with art) that part kinda starts in ch2 but it's there

~*~

12. Can you recommend any chat fics plz plz plz

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 75k, LWJ/WWX/MXY, Chatlogs, chatfic, Texting, Comedy, Canon Compliant, Crack, Memes, Humourm JGY is best bitch, i am afraid of when LXC finally snaps, XY is a highly cursed person, NHS is still mvp tbh, Polyamory, Not Everyone Dies, Just have fun everyone!!!, Additional: please do not eat or drink reading this enough people have choked x-x)

The Bunnies and The Roomba: A Love Story by Nikki373 (T, 6k, wangxian, modern, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Siblings, Siblings Try and Are Trying, College/University, 1 if by phone; 2 if by text; 3 if by mouth, Kisses, Romance, Falling In Love, LXC is the eternal captain of the good ship Wangxian) These next three feature a lot of chats within the story but aren't true chatfics

🔒 you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15) These next three feature a lot of chats within the story but aren't true chatfics

Some of You by tangerinechar (M, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Actor AU, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Love Confessions, Matchmaking, Light Angst) These next three feature a lot of chats within the story but aren't true chatfics

🔒Bodega Love by cicer (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, bisexual disaster wwx, text conversations, reckless use of emojis, unrepentent goofiness, [Podfic of] Bodega Love by exmanhater, Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard), GoLBCollabs (GodOfLaundryBaskets), Gondolinpod (Gondolin), growlery, nicolasechs, Opalsong, RevolutionaryJo, Rhea314 (Rhea), [Podfic] Bodega Love by GinevraReads (GinevraFangirl), jennisaisquoi, kealdrakemna_collabs (kealdrakemna), KeriArentikaiMultipods (KeriArentikai), kisahawklin, mulberry_graceful, PandaReads (DrPanda99), shash_reads (sunkitten_shash)) is an amazing chat fic (sorry I don’t remember the number) also a good podfic by multiple artists

🔒Tax B(racket) by adrian_kres (T, 744, WangXian, Crack, Interactive, nielan, when your friends make a groupchat to talk about you and then feel bad about it, Rated T for language)

Carefully Orchestrated Plans (no strings attached) by Maledictius (T, 101k, WangXian, Modern AU, Chatting & Messaging, Orchestra, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gossip)

MDZS Chat Fic by Maaarken (M, 51k, JC/LXC/NMJ, LWJ/WWX/WN, JYL/JZX, WQ/MM, WLJ/WC, JGY/NHS, JC & NHS, Social Media, Chatting & Messaging, Modern, Miscommunication, Polyamor, Established Relationship, Light mentions of incest, because WWX is a dumb gremlin, Gremlin WWX, Matchmaking, Bad Matchmaking, Bad Flirting, Everyone swears a lot, Except the Lans, Light chengxian, Good WC, Bad SS, Some Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dage is a bit of an ass, but he becomes better, JC is less angsty than canon, Is it slice of life if it's only the drama slices?, Oblivious WWX, Oblivious LWJ, Oblivious lots of people tbh, Slow Burn, mostly for the poly couples, Crack Treated Seriously, LXC is a troll, they talk about dicks a lot, LXC's mostly, NHS is a Good Bro, the best actually, Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better)

~*~

13. Hello! For itmf any mafia boss lan wangji? Thankyou!

🔒🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex)

Baby, You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet by TriviasFolly (E, 177k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Omega LSZ, Mafia, Crime, Sects are Clans, Feral WWX, Feral Omegas, Nurse WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Possessive LWJ, feminine WWX, wwx’s cannon desire to be a sugar baby/trophy wife, Breeding Kink, Mpreg)

The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 188k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

14. A) I'm in the mood for a fic that has Lan Wangji being worried about his brother after the burning of Cloud Recesses, and one that includes a (preferably teary and emotional) reunion between the two. Bonus if it shows that Lan Wangji is actually a traumatized teenager who really really needs a hug from his big bro

B) I'm in the mood for a fic that focuses on the events in the Xuanwu cave. Preferably one that continues past those events in an AU fashion. Perhaps a feelings realization and a get-together? I remember I saw something once (can't find it again tho) that had Jiang Cheng not bringing anyone to rescue the pair, so they broke out on their own (or someone else saved them?) Anyway, a Xuanwu AU would be nice:)) @lmaodilligaf

14B)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing)

Hope Dangling by a String by KouriArashi (M, 70k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, everyone lives, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, psychic bond, telepathy, communication, emotional/psychological abuse, jiang family feels, lan family feels, canon-typical violence, canon-typical politics, improper use of sacred forehead ribbons, gratuitous hair washing)

🔒 Not my lips you kissed (but my soul) by luckymoonly (M, 20k, WangXian, NMJ/LXC, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Sunshot Campaign, Fall of Lotus Pier, Happy Ending, Starts from chapter 55, Romance, fast burn, WWX and NHS are BFF, Horny Teenagers, Loss of Virginity, Smut, Angst, getting together early, no loss of golden core, pregnant WWX, Mpreg, soup drama, Matchmaker WN, Smugji strikes again, Everyone Is Gay)

🔒 Bloom where you are planted by luckymoonly (M, 44k wangxian, MM/WQ, Canon Divergence, Fix It, courting, Mpreg, Sunshot Campaign, Fluff, Happy Ending, getting together early, Romance, WWX giving birth in the middle of the war? Most likely than you think!, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Smut, Drama, Blood and Violence, Minor Character Death, There Is Only One Bed, No Fall of Lotus Pier, Crossdressing, Shotgun Wedding, Mention of miscarriage (not WWX), wangxian Have a Breeding Kink, Giving Birth, Soft granduncle LQR)

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

~*~

15. Hi I know it's embarrassing question but i have a preference for virgin wei ying trope could you plz 🙈🙏tell me an long recs that fit this trope hopefull 90000 words or more and completed.

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 887k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) I’m not quite sure what you mean by the « virgin Wei Ying » trope, but both he and LWJ are virgins at the beginning of this one, it’s very good, and part/Act 1& 2 I think are complete. If you’re referring to a « virgin Marry » Wei Ying who can do no wrong ever…. Idk any that are actually long enough or good or not horribly OOC.

My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies) Another one that might fit would be My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun but there’s no sex in this one (it’s just really good and fun)

Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, resulting to OOC, no pinning, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, mainly CQL verse but has scenes from the novel as well, LSZ is WangXian’s Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts) If you’re talking about the cannon fact that they’re both virgin romantics there’s too many to recommend, If I’m remembering correctly this has a bit of the innocent WWX in body and later mind? Kinda? so what are you looking for exactly?

~*~

16. this request is for itmf. it’s a bit random and specific but are there any fics where there is a bit more focus or a scene where they discuss wwx’s hairstyle switching? like from his ponytail to his half up hairstyle?

it doesn’t have to be the focus of the fic ofc but please help me find if there’s any fics where they actually address that change

thank you! 🫶

~*~

17. Hi! The other day I read a fanfic that basically was that mxy was pregnant before wwx was pulled in, so I was hoping anyone could give me recs with that premise

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

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overload-explode · 2 years ago

Text

Naruto Founder's s/o who Attempted S*icide

T/W: Hinted non-explicit suicide attempt, references to depression

A/N: I'm not in a good space so here is some angst to vent! These men were born and raised during war and political instability, so their understanding of mental health is terrible. GN! reader

Hashirama:

You were the light of his life always laughing and smiling

Whenever he was stressed with Hokage duties he took refuge in you

He never sensed anything was wrong until you tried to kill yourself

He's the one that found you and healed you

The village was supposed to be a safe place for his loved ones yet you were not safe in the village he built

He blames himself. He feels like your happiness, and everyone in his village is his responsibility. He's your partner and your Hokage

Away from you, he starts drinking and gambling a lot to forget what happened and distract himself

Tobirama has to eventually find him and sober him up

His brother informs him that he needs to stop being self-destructive and blaming himself for what happened

Bags are now permanently under his eyes. He clings to you in sleep now, not out of love, but because he's terrified of losing you like he has lost so many

He's lost brothers, family and friends to war. To protect his loved ones was one of the reasons for creating the village But he can't protect you from yourself

He is an amazing healer so there are no physical scars on you. However, every time he sees you, he sees those injuries on you- he is forever scared mentally

He loves you and he drains himself trying to keep you happy

He doesn't show you he is struggling at all, he is scared his depression will cause you to spiral downward and attempt to take your life again

So he puts on a happy, joyous and carefree mask. Now he is performing at home as well as performing as Hokage and clan head

He secretly asks Tobirama to watch you when he is unable to. Tobirama starts to dislike you. You burden his brother, himself and the village. To him you are a liability, a weakness of his brother and a danger to the village. He would never hurt anyone his brother loves but he advises Hashirama to break up with you and tries to convince you to leave Hashirama, and preferably the village

Tobirama

He's angry and he's disappointed but mostly at himself because he feels so powerless

Despite being an amazing tactician, he didn't predict and prevent this. He feels so inadequate and starts doubting himself

Ever the logical man, he sees there's a problem and he wants to fix it. And nothing will get in the way, not even you

However, emotions do not follow logical thought, and you cannot apply cold logic to something as complicated as mental health

To you, he visibly becomes colder and more distant however he is trying to do the opposite. He expresses his love through acts of service but he is so emotionally incompetent it comes off as him being controlling, which he is but he wants to help you. He just has no idea how

He never opens up about his mental health. The trauma of being a child soldier, having an abusive father, trying to protect his brothers from abuse, losing his brothers, his alienation from being albino and autistic (my headcanon), PTSD, his strained relationship with his brother…

In his mind, as long as you can do your job as a shinobi, housewife, or merchant… and contribute to your village and/or clan, you are fine. Happiness and personal fulfilment come from knowing your place and fulfilling you are not contributing then that is a problem. If you're not doing your duty then that is a problem that needs to be fixed

He views people like cogs in a machine, if you are not doing your job then that is a problem. If you are doing your job, then there is no problem

He'll make sure you are physically well and then try to get you back to work because then that means everything is fixed

He will never talk about it, he wants to forget it, ignore it suppress it- like all his other emotions

But secretly, when he can, he'll create a shadow clone to follow you around to make sure you're safe

He will also put a seal on you that allows him to teleport to you if he senses that you're in danger. If you refuse he'll do it anyway without your permission because it's the smart thing to do and he cares about you. Your safety is more important to him than you liking him

At night when he comes back late and you are fast asleep, he'll hold you and silently cry a bit because he doesn't want to lose you.

You will never find out, he wants to be strong for both of you. In his mind no emotions = strong

In his mind, you have too many emotions, so he needs to show even fewer emotions to avoid triggering you. This is very unhealthy for everyone

After his brother advises him, he tries to be more outwardly affectionate. Even though he doesn't understand the need of pointing out the obvious, he compliments you more and kisses you on the forehead before going to work every day. Just know that he loves you

Madara

Hashirama is the one to tell Madara about your attempt. He was the medic-nin that saved you and, mainly, because everyone else is too scared of Madara to tell him

Madara is angry and scared. He is one of the most powerful shinobi to have ever existed. He has one of the most powerful Kekkei Genkai, yet he couldn't protect you. He can't protect you from yourself

The way he deals with his feelings of powerlessness is to label you unworthy

If you let your thoughts almost kill you- then you are truly weak. He grew up in a war zone where everyone was trying to kill him and he's perfectly fine! (He's not)

While you recover, he'll check up on you and make sure you're healing but he won't talk about what happened at all. Once you physically recover from your attempt, he'll break up with you

He's the clan head and his future spouse would become the clan matriarch (or the gender-neutral equivalent), taking on a lot of roles and responsibilities. Madara can't have someone he views as weak representing the Uchiha, it would make the Uchiha seem vulnerable and his job is ultimately to protect the clan. Madara also worries that the stress from the job will worsen you're mental health

After the break up he'll disappear for your life completely. If you try to visit him he will never be in. He won't be in his office if you're there- you won't even see him out in the street. It will be like you were never together

Secretly, he will start stalking you because he's worried but has no idea how to help you

He stops eating or sleeping regularly because he's too worried. Also, you were the one to remind him to eat and drink. His own physical and mental health declines

Hashirama becomes increasingly worried about his friend and tries to convince Madara to talk to you

Madara has already lost Izuna and the rest of his family, he can't lose you too. He knocks on your door with some food hoping you'll start the conversation

If you like my work, please consider supporting me: ☕

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dazed--xx · 5 months ago

Text

💘When Hearts Collide💘

Member: Non-Idol! Hyunjin x Reader

Word count: 9.9k +fake texts

T/W: angst, mentions of puberty, stereotypes of male and female friendships, teasing (friendly), Underage drinking (PLEASE BE CAREFUL wont say don't do it in my culture its pretty accepted if its a sip or two), jealousy, mutual pining, suggestive behavior but no smut (Theyre minors...like ill imply or mention that they've had sex or not cause their age range is 16-17 years old which is over the age of consent if its with another minor in the same age range but as a 26 year old I wont be writing teenagers having sex just seems odd to me), mentions of suicide but like in a joking way, arguing, Jungkook is legit voice of reason character. anything else that could potentially be a trigger.

A/N: wow i actually like loved this story and I was such a bitch about it. man the "groups chats" gonna love this one.....lol but nah fr I really appreciate the requester for this. i legit wrote it every chance I got these past few days so I hope you enjoy it. Also I might do another one from Li-Rin’s perspective cause it might be really cool and good too do

Can men and women be just friends?

Y/N thought so, for many years, she held her best friend Hwang Hyunjin close to her heart. Seeing him as more of a chaotic twin brother than a romantic partner. They had met at the tender age of 5 years old in kindergarten. She could remember it like it was yesterday when he extended the half-eaten candy bar to her as she wailed about not having a snack. His bright doe-eyed smile as he helped her wipe her tears. The soft pat on her back as she nibbled on the candy. She hadn't realized how this small interaction would develop into the most important friendship of her life.

Y/N will admit, unlike the other girls, she hadn't noticed Hyunjin was a guy until her second year of high school. While plenty of girls in middle school would fawn over him, she never really saw the appeal they had when it came to her best friend. This was the boy she saw cry for hours when his favorite anime was cancelled and he screamed like a final girl when he was tossed into her pool by her older brother. He was the kid she spent her summer nights in a tent collecting fireflies and telling ghost stories with. She saw him throw up on Choi Soojin when they kissed at a birthday party in 6th grade, and cry like a girl when Kim Mina broke up with him to date his friend in 7th.

How could she ever see him as a man?

She would have sworn that she never could if he didn't disappear the summer between the first and second year of highschool. Dance camp was what he had told her when he finally could answer her calls. His voice was deeper than it normally was and Y/N shrugged it off, not bothering to think much of the explanation until she saw him. That's when she realized it wasn't only his voice that could change when he hit puberty. Though she had developed before she started high school, she forgot the changes that came with puberty. No longer did her best friend have a chubby-cheeked baby face, his features were much more defined. Y/N wasn't sure how to handle the way her heart raced when he smiled at her. The way he ruffled her hair before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into a tight hug.

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up as her breath hitched in her throat. She hugged him back after a moment, before quickly trying to pull away from him. Her eyes avoided his as she continued to rack her brain for some kind of explanation as to why she had felt that way toward her best friend. While she had, had a boyfriend before, he never made her heart flutter like that. She was surprised when she felt Hyunjin's grasp on her waist tighten as he inhaled burying his face in her neck. "Where are you going? I missed you a lot, let me hold you for a second" He whined. She knew her face was a bright scarlet at his words. How could it not be? Her heart was pounding against her chest. "I-I missed you too but I don't want to be late..." She stammered shyly as she went to pull away from him again, this time turning away from him and he kept his arms wrapped around her waist letting his chin rest on her shoulder.

A pout sits on his lips as he stares at her "When did class become more important than me?"

"Will you be able to make my mother not be on my ass about college?" Y/N questioned as she raised her eyebrows as she tried to pry his arms from around her waist. "Stop treating me like a creep let me hug you I haven't been able to annoy you for almost three months" He groans. Y/N shakes her head as she palms herself at his words.

"You are a creep if you hold on to a girl without her consent"

"You're a girl?" Hyunjin asks in disbelief his hands resting on her waist as his eyes travel from her face down her neck, his teeth involuntarily taking his bottom lip as his eyes linger on her chest and hips for a moment. Y/N rolls her eyes at his words not noticing his wandering eye. "I can remind you if you'd like..." She teases playfully. Hyunjin's eyebrow raises in amusement for a moment before he shakes his head to himself before letting her go.

"How's that?" He whispered in her ear. He pressed his chest against her back, and Y/N turned her head to face him. She bats her eyes at him flirtatiously. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She teased as she scrunched her nose at him and walked toward the entrance to the school. Their sophomore year continued with flirty touches and whispers filled with unofficial infatuation. But they were still just friends and nothing more in Y/N's eyes. Nothing too different than normal teasing between best friends, they didn't really mean anything by it.

Right?

The summer proved to be confusing.

While she spent her days either with Hyunjin or at her part-time job, she found her eye wandering in her best friend's direction more and more. She found herself more excited to be at work than hanging out with Hyunjin the more summer went on. The close proximity she and Hyunjin typically kept when they hung out seemed to become overwhelming for her for some reason. Her friend, Li-Rin, swore she was developing a crush on him. Y/N could remember vividly how adamantly she denied the claim.

How could she have a crush on Hyunjin? It's Hyunjin...She never thought she would see him that way, and how could she? They've always been closer to siblings, so much so that their birthdays were separated by only a day. She never once thought that she would feel her heart flutter when he smiled at her. Nor had she expected her cheeks to turn a bright crimson every time he leaned in close to watch a video on her phone or when their finger brushed as she handed him something. She hated it honestly, how could she be one of those girls. She needed time away and felt picking up more hours at work would help her clear her mind and figure out how she felt about him. Spending that time away was helpful but she couldn't avoid him when she got out of work. He was practically part of the family, due to his living at the sharehouse her parents rented out to her and her friends. Her parents adored him and always invited him to holidays.

Y/N thought the party Li-Rin invited her to would finally be her escape. A way for her to get away from Hyunjin and her confusing feelings for him and clear her mind. Maybe even meet a cute boy in the process. But the moment she saw that familiar onyx mop of hair and lanky build with a petite brunette on his arm, she felt her comfort completely extinguish.

How could he be everywhere? she wondered as she made a beeline for the kitchen to indulge. The cluster of colorful glass bottles that sat beside the sodas drew her attention as she reached for a clear bottle with a red seal around the top. "Vodka....You sure that's a good idea?" An unfamiliar male voice questions from behind her. She groans in frustration as she turns to the person "Is that really your--" Her words are trapped in her throat as her eyes meet his. He's almost like a work of art and you weren't talking about the tattoos that littered his right arm.

He chuckles with a smirk as he raises his eyebrow in amusement. "Wow...You're actually speechless. I've never had this happen to me before" He comments. She shakes her head pulling herself out of her trance as she grabs a red solo cup, "I-I was caught off guard..." Y/N murmured twisting the cap off the clear bottle. The guy stares at her worriedly as she pours a large amount of vodka into the cup filling it almost halfway showing her inexperience. "Woah.. that's probably not a good idea" He warns as he tries to grab the cup from her.

Y/N's movements are faster than his as she quickly tries to drink the whole thing but the moment the stinging liquid hits her throat she feels herself gag. "Yup. That was probably a bad idea...." The stranger nods as she coughs at the burning sensation in her throat. She felt the stranger pat her back, comfortingly as she coughed up her lung. "I'm Jungkook by the way" He states sarcastically "You know? Since I have to take care of you now" his lips curl into a flirty smirk. Y/N groaned at his words "Nah, I'll be okay.." His eyes widen for a moment as she goes to walk away from him and embarrassment fills her gut. The lack of experience with alcohol made her body tingle with warmth, the room felt wavy. "W-wait!" Jungkook calls as he grasps her wrist. She stares at his hand as if it was a foreign object and he pulls his hand away.

"Sorry, but you just took a lot of alcohol to the head...you should probably sit down." He states as he lifts his hands in surrender. You stare at him with nervous curiosity. "No funny business and I'll just help you to the couch." He states calmly.

"Why?" She questioned nervously.

"You looked like you didn't know what you were doing when you were trying to get something to drink. I mean you clearly didn't even know that even for a heavyweight that was way too much to drink all at once.." He confesses.

"So what? You're some knight in shining armor or something?"

He chuckles at your words. "Nothing like that. Just want to make sure a pretty girl doesn't get taken advantage of or hurt herself because she didn't have someone to help her learn how to drink" Y/N smiles kindly at him as she accepts his offer.

Maybe she could get over Hyunjin...

It had been a little over an hour and Jungkook being the nice guy he was, he didn’t leave Y/N’s side.

The room no longer spun as she and Jungkook talked about everything and nothing at all. Y/N regretted not being a couple of years older, losing any chance to get with him when she told him her age, and as much as she wanted to forget about him; Hyunjin and his little friend wouldn't leave her mind. What were they doing? She wondered. Who was she? His new girlfriend?

Jungkook playfully taps the rim of his cup on her forehead. "You still in there?" He questions with a chuckle. Y/N smiled as she rolled her eyes at him. "I'm sober now, you know?" She replied brushing over her spacing out. Jungkook raises his eyebrow in amusement "Really? Wanna take a couple tests to prove it?" Jungkook questions with a smirk as he rests his arm across the back of the couch adjusting himself to face her. His free hand reaches out for her chin taking it between his forefinger and thumb as he examines her features. Y/N gives him a look saying 'Are you serious?'

Jungkook nods at her, smiles, and brings his hand down as he notices her relaxed state. "Not completely sober but tipsy, so that's better than before," he says calmly. Y/N was about to say something when someone sat between her and Jungkook. Y/N's eyes widen as she recognizes her best friend, who sloppily leans on her shoulder.

"Baby..." Hyunjin whined as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Y/N sighs as she's greeted by the strong scent of liquor. "Hey, Jinnie..." she coos soothingly. Hyunjin's face lights up as she rubs his back. She gives Jungkook an apologetic look and he gives her a reassuring smile as he lifts his beer toward her before taking a sip. Y/N giggles at his gesture and Hyunjin looks between the pair. His eyes burned holes into Y/N's cheek. "Who's he?" Hyunjin slurs before leaning into Jungkook's face "Who are you?" he questions, a hint of bitterness in his tone. Y/N grabs Hyunjin's sleeve tugging him out of Jungkook's face.

"Sorry, Jungkook oppa...This drunkard is my best friend" Y/N apologizes as she gives Hyunjin a warning look, who stares back at her with a look of disgust as he feels jealousy filling his stomach. "Oppa? Since when have you known each other?" He questions, his tone laced with annoyance. Jungkook answered him this time, "Met Y/N earlier tonight, She was....experimenting and it backfired" He chuckles.

"Was I talking to you?" Hyunjin questions as he gives Jungkook an annoyed look. Jungkook's eyebrows raise in amusement "You're talking about me and in my vicinity, Best Friend Hyunjin" Jungkook's tone is playful and sarcastic as he begins to find amusement in Hyunjin's reactions seeing how red his face turns. Hyunjin scowls at Jungkook as he goes to stand up before Y/N grabs the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Sit." She grits. Hyunjin gives her a look of disbelief, his mouth hanging open partially. "But bab--" Y/N holds her hand up, cutting off his words. "No, apologize...he's our sunbae and he helped me out a lot tonight" Y/N explains. "You're drunk, Jinnie..." She gives him a look of concern as she caresses his cheek lovingly. Hyunjin leans into her touch for a moment before nodding, with a guilty pout. He turns to Jungkook, bowing politely "I'm sorry, I-I've been drinking and I was rude..." He mutters reluctantly. Jungkook gives him a reassuring smile "Don't worry about it, I've done way worse"

"You want me to bring you home, Jinnie?" Y/N asks worriedly as Hyunjin reaches for her hand, taking it into his as he leans on her shoulder and begins to play with her fingers, trying to stop the room from spinning. So cute...Y/N thinks as he pouts as he tries to snuggle into her. "Come on, Let me bring you home." She coos as she stands up. Jungkook helps lift Hyunjin off the couch and escorts him outside. "Y/N, you aren't driving right?" Jungkook questions worriedly. She shakes her head, "No, thank god our share-house is only a 5-minute walk so I didn't drive." She states as the crisp autumn air kisses her skin. Jungkook sighs in relief "You need me to help get him there?"

"No, trust me I'll be fine"

Jungkook doesn't protest as he leans Hyunjin back against her and she lifts his arm over her shoulder. Hyunjin immediately wraps one of his arms around her waist pressing his chest against her back, his other arm wraps around her shoulders and he nuzzles his nose against her temple. "Hmmmnnn..." He sighs "So pretty...."

"Thanks, Jinnie but lets get home, 'kay?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Hyunjin questions as he continues to cling to her; making their walk a lot harder than it needed to be. Y/N shakes her head "I don't have to report to you, but I also didn't even know I was coming until I just did" She shrugs.

"I would have come with you. we could've had f-fun together though baby...I wouldn't--i wouldn't feel so worried...right now" He slurs as he tightens his grip on her waist. Y/N raises her eyebrow "Worried? Why?" Hyunjin just shakes his head "You don't get it... you won't understand..." He whines his voice cracking as he rests his head against the back of hers.

"When don't i understand you?"

"Always! you always ignore everything I'm trying to do and think I do things for stupid reasons like because I'm your best friend!" Hyunjin shouts. Y/N feels surprised at his declaration as she tries to hold onto his arm. "What are you talking about?" She questions as she feels him rest his chin on the top of her head. "hey! I'm not your crutch stop, you're heavy" Hyunjin ignores her as he stops their movements hugging her tight.

"Why did you have to be with that guy? Why not me?"

"Jinnie, what are you talking about?"

"That guy! Why were you with him? How long have you known him? Is he your boyfriend now? He's not, right?" Hyunjin slurs his voice full of worry as his grasp on her tightens. Y/N shakes her head "No? I just met him, I drank too much and he helped me sober up. Besides Jungkook oppa isn't interested in a minor, he's 5 years older than us" She retorts. Hyunjin lets out a sigh of relief as he loosens his grip on her and leans in kissing her temple. "Good...you should be mine. Not anyone else's" He mumbles into the kiss.

"God, how much did you have to drink?" Y/N questions. "Not a lot in the beginning..." Hyunjin slurs and Y/N raises her eyebrow, turning her head so she can face him. Her cheeks heat up as the corners of their lips touch and she pulls away slightly.

"And after the beginning?" She asks her voice laced with concern.

Hyunjin hangs his head "I was gonna pace myself, I know I should b-but--why were you with him?" He asks again cutting off his own explanation due to his intoxication. Y/N felt unease settle in her stomach and a subtle sense of guilt. "I just told your drunk ass that I drank too much earlier...Thank god I'm sober enough for this right now" Y/N groans as she tries to get Hyunjin to continue walking but he stands his ground and holds her in place. "Why were you all over him then?" He questions, pain and jealousy laced in his tone.

"I was drunk...you're all over me right?"

"I could be..."

"You are...." Y/N rolls her eyes at his ignorance. "No...not the way I wanna be...can I show you?" He whispers as he presses himself against her. Y/N goes to turn to look at him to scold him, his hand moves from her waist to her cheek as he leans in and presses his soft lips against hers. Y/N's eyes widen as she freezes, Hyunjin's eyes flutter closed as he groans against her lips. She hesitantly responds to his kiss, letting her lips move against his for a moment. She felt her heart swell as he kissed her deeper his tongue brushing over the entrance to her mouth. Y/N goes to pull away, her sobriety making everything seem way too overwhelming.

"No.." Hyunjin whines as his lips chase hers and he turns her around so she is facing him. "Taste so good...don't make me stop" He slurs. His drunken state is more obvious and Y/N can pry herself away from him. "You have to. I need to get you home and you're being a pain" Y/N pouts as she takes his hands in hers comfortingly. Trying to brush over his previous actions, her heart raced a mile a minute as he furrowed his eyebrows. His angelic features looked completely flushed and she felt her guilt grow stronger.

"Kiss me..." Hyunjin whines as he takes his hands from hers and holds her face as he leans in, brushing his lips over hers. Y/N leans back and hurt flashes across Hyunjin's face. "You're drunk..." Y/N reasons as she grabs his wrist finally able to get him to start walking back to the sharehouse. "So?" He questions with a pout.

"I'm not kissing you when you're drunk..."

"I'm not a girl..."

"Being a guy doesn't make it consensual, especially not when you're this drunk. you still don't have a solid mind to consent to anything so don't make me a pervert."

"You just did..." He murmurs as he trudges behind you. Y/N sighs in frustration at his brattiness. "You kissed me, which I will be overlooking because you're what?...say it with me here, Drunk" Y/N jokes but it sends a painful shock straight to Hyunjin's heart.

"So if I kissed you sober? Will you stop me then?"

Y/N freezes for a moment. Her face heated up. "You won't..."

"I want to..." Hyunjin confesses as he reaches out to caress her hip. “If I try to, will you let me?" Y/N raises her eyebrow in amusement. "You'll have to try and see..." she replies, trying to sound nonchalant but flirty. Hyunjin leans over her shoulder, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear.

"You think I won't?"

"You've never shown interest in doing it before," Y/N giggles, trying to lighten the mood as she grows nervous. Hyunjin scoffs, "That's a lie. We kissed at Nam Hyunjoo's party." A look of frustration sits on Hyunjin's features as Y/N shakes her head.

"That was 4 years ago, Jinnie, and a dare" She retorts as she sighs in relief as they finally walk through the gate of the share house. Hyunjin trudges behind her "It doesn't matter it happened..."

"Yeah, Yeah. go to bed" Y/N waves him off as they enter the house. Walking toward the couch she sits down allowing her muscles to finally relax; her head rests against the headrest. Hyunjin places both of his hands on the back of the couch as he leans over her "Stop doing that, Let me kiss you now" He whines as he leans in closer and Y/N leans forward for a moment brushing her lips over his teasingly before shoving him back by his shoulders and gets off the couch opting to escape to the sanctity of her bedroom.

"Sober up first" She states with a wink as she disappears up the stairs.

Y/N thanked GOD that Jungkook helped her out the night before, completely avoiding a hangover and being able to make it for her shift today. The fast-paced environment of the diner on a Saturday morning, the hectic and ridiculous amount of tickets, and not enough coffee to go around. But even in the chaos, Y/N finds herself grateful to find her mind occupied with something other than Hyunjin like it had been for the past 12 hours. She didn't sleep a wink, her heart in her stomach from the moment she went upstairs.

The ghost of his lips lingered on hers. She had a hard time remaining in her room and not taking care of her best friend, but his persistence in her kissing him made her feel butterflies rise in her stomach. She had a hard time accepting how much she enjoyed it, it was Hyunjin; He was her best friend. They'd kissed before, how could it feel so different when he kissed her this time? How could everything be such a mess? She had drifted off into a restless slumber in and out throughout the night until she had to get up for work at 4:30 am.

From the moment she opened the doors, she no longer had time to think about anything but breakfast items and coffee orders. As it began to slow down, she heard the familiar chime from the bell. She greets the customer as she wipes down the counter. "Take a seat anywhere.." She instructs them kindly as she turns around and is greeted with a familiar face. Jungkook stands there with an amused smile and another guy next to him pats his shoulder as he walks toward the bar. Y/N sighs as Jungkook presses the bell, she notices him leaning over on his elbow and he waves playfully giving her a teasing look.

Grabbing a coffee pot she walks over to the pair, a service smile on her lips as she stands in front of them. "How can I help you today?" She asks, professionalism laced in her tone. Jungkook smirks and raises his eyebrow "Half a cup of vodka" He teases. Licking her lips, Y/N looks around for her boss. "Go fuck yourself" she retorts when she doesn't see him nearby.

Jungkook places his hand over his chest as he scoffs in faux offense "And here I came to check on you and everything..."

"No, you didn't. you literally said you were gonna harass me at my job last night"

"Damn, thought you'd be too drunk to remember" Jungkook chuckles as his friend scrolls on his phone completely uninterested in the conversation. "Speaking of being too drunk to remember, You have a hard time with your friend?" Jungkook asks as he flips the mug in front of his friend and himself over and gestures for her to give them coffee. Y/N complies filling both of the mugs as she shakes her head trying to avoid talking about Hyunjin too much. "Nah, it's not the first time he's been blacked out. Kinda always his caretaker" She shrugs. "Are you gonna eat too?" She asks as she pulls her pad out of her apron, clicking the pen. Jungkook raises his eyebrow "Is it free?"

"Broke College student meet broke highschooler" Y/N snorts as she waves her hand in front of her, gesturing toward herself. Jungkook rolls his eyes before scanning over the menu placed in front of him.

"Can i get a bacon egg and cheese bagel?" Jungkooks friend asks and Jungkook nods along with him. Y/N writes their order and goes to enter it in the POS. She feels a tap on her shoulder and turns to see her manager standing there. "Sir?" She questions puzzled.

"Go on your 30 after you put it in, Hera's gonna cover you" He states calmly before turning away from her. Not needing any more instruction you quickly finish entering Jungkook's order and clock out for your break. Walking toward the break room, she stops in front of the lockers grabs her phone, and walks out the back door to get fresh air. Turning her phone on it comes to life with messages from Hyunjin.

Y/N felt her cheeks turn a bright scarlet as she read the pet name. How could such a simple request make her heart race so much? How could she be feeling so excited to go home now? The memory of their kiss lingers in her mind. Brushing her fingers over her lips for a moment before she realizes her behavior. Her eyes widen as she quickly brings her hand away from her lips.

Oh Fuck....She likes Hyunjin.....

Y/N didn't know how to handle her epiphany.

The more she spent with him, the more her feelings seemed to blossom. She felt her eyes searching for him and her heart racing faster when he called her name. Even when the school year started she figured her heart would finally settle now that they were in separate classes and they would only see each other in passing due to her cram school. But she should have realized how persistent her best friend could be, he and Li-Rin rarely got along besides a few tipsy interactions and taking care of the other hungover self until Y/N was available to take over. To say she was surprised to see the pair now getting along swimmingly would be an understatement.

Due to Li-Rin's budding friendship with him, Hyunjin no longer breaks away during lunch and would come with Li-Rin to hang out with them. Every once in a while, he and his friends would disappear for who knew what and Y/N would finally gain the ability to breathe again. She sometimes dreaded these days when Hyunjin needed to be extra clingy before going to his class in the morning. How should she keep trying to play things off how she normally would? For years she would have brushed off his flirty remarks and clingy actions but now she found herself reciprocating. She knew how dangerous this could be, how crossing the line with him beyond a drunken kiss and flirty words could ruin everything they'd built over the years. But as the weeks continued to go by she found herself not caring as much as she once had.

She finds herself feeling more and more eager at the idea of giving in to her emotions and just confessing to Hyunjin. What could be the harm? He was her best friend for a reason. They understood each other on a level no one else could reach. "Y/N, Li-Rin" Hari calls the pair over as they look around the cafeteria. Y/N smiled feeling a sense of relief as she didn't see Hyunjin and his group of friends seated at the table. Walking over to where Hari was seated, Y/N smiled at the 3 other girls who gave her a friendly wave. "Y/N, Hyunjin finally let you off the leash?" Sol-i teases as Y/N sits beside her. Rolling her eyes Y/N chuckles softly "So I'm a dog now?" She raises her eyebrow. Hari giggles as she joins in on the teasing "I mean with the way you two cling to each other you'd think they're married" The girls laugh at the joke.

Y/N feigns disgust "You realize he's just my best friend right?"

"Is that why you guys made out at the party Friday?" Hari questions with her eyebrow raised and Y/N feels her heart drop into her stomach.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Hari rolls her eyes as she leans in closer "I saw you guys, completely sucking face right down the street from Felix's place" She giggles and Y/N's eyes widen as she begins to stammer in a panic "W-what? N-No. No, it wasn't--we weren't sucking face it was just a kiss." The girls gasped "So, it's true?" Li-Rin questions, an unfamiliar look on her expression. Y/N looks at her for a moment "Hyunjin was blackout and feeling clingy so he kissed me. But it was just a stupid kiss, that Hyunjin probably doesn't even remember so it doesn't matter." She argues trying to change the subject. "You guys should totally go out, you guys would be cute" Aera comments cheekily. Y/N groaned in response as she hid her face in her hands.

"Can I just die right now?"

"Why? Because you LOOOVVEE him?" Sol-i teases.

"No, because you guys are embarrassing" Y/N states as she softly throws a fry at her. "Don't get mad at me because you like him"

"N-No, I don't" Y/N lies, trying to keep her feelings private while she tries to work them out. However, She feels a real relationship could possibly work out with Hyunjin. She wouldn't want to ruin any chance she had by involving her caring and loving but nosy friends in the mix. Y/N felt herself grow anxious as Ji-Rin's face lights up at her refusal. "You don't?" Ji-Rin asks her eagerness for the same answer evident and Y/N complies. "N-Not like that. H-He was drunk so..."

"Good." Ji-Rin sighs placing her hand over her chest as if she's relieved. "So, what's everyone gonna do tonight wanna study at my place." She asks trying to change the subject, Hari's eyebrow raises and the other four's eyes meet each other as they feel an awkward tension settle over the group.

Before Hari speaks up "Nah, put that shit in reverse and park it. The fuck do you mean good?" She challenges. Ji-Rin gives her a puzzled look "What do you mean?" she questions with a confused pout her head tilting to the left side slightly.

"What I just said. What do you mean good? Do you like Hyunjin or something?" Hari asks with shock and a defensive tone. Ji-Rin smiles giddily as she covers her face with her hands. "Maybe~" Ji-Rin replies "Kinda..." Hari scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest as she goes to say something to her, Y/N kicks Hari under the table as she notices Hyunjin and his friends making their way over to their table. "But--" Hari tries to argue, and Y/N turns her head away from Hari "Not the time."

"This looks intense." Hyunjin's friend, Jisung comments as he raises his eyebrow in amusement. Y/N gives him a kind smile "No, Missy, why do you look so grumpy" Jisung questions as he ruffles her hair and sits beside her and the rest of the guys go to sit down. Hyunjin stands behind Jisung with his eyebrows furrowed as he stares between the pair, jealousy fills his stomach. "Hyunjin, there's a seat here" Li-Rin calls him gesturing for him to sit beside her, his mouth hung open for a moment wanting to protest but in the end, he slumped his shoulders and trudged over to the seat beside Li-Rin. He grumbles something under his breath toward her and she rubs his arm comfortingly as she whispers something to him and he nods with a sad pout.

An uncomfortable feeling fills Y/N's stomach as she stares at the pair, when did they get so close? Hyunjin said they had gotten along a little easier after Y/N had left her to watch him; but could things have gone further than a friendly understanding being built? Y/N tried to focus on the conversation Jisung had dragged her into but with Li-Rin's previous confession, Y/N could not drag her eyes off the pair. She felt betrayed, how could Li-rin do this to her? No matter how often Y/N denied it, there was a reason the girls always made jokes about her and Hyunjin being together. Li-Rin could see her closeness with Hyunjin, even if she didn't have feelings for him, liking Hyunjin would be crossing the line for any of her friends and they knew this.

Li-Rin was a newer addition to the group, Y/N had met her in her first year and they quickly hit it off. Y/N's longest female friend, Hari, always held a small dislike for Li-Rin. Sol-i and Aera held a neutral stance never showing her disdain but also never getting too close to her. Y/N was the one who trusted her wholeheartedly and accepted her.

how could she like Hyunjin?

Was she messing with her? She had to be. It had to be a joke. How could Y/N confess to him if her friend likes him? That would be so cruel to Li-Rin, no matter the line crossed Y/N wouldn't stand in her friend's happiness. Li-Rin didn't choose who to like, these things just happen. If anyone understood that it was Y/N, but why did it have to be now? Why couldn't it be last year? Long before Y/N really understood how she felt about him and she wouldn't feel like she's being a terrible person if she were to confess. Now that she knew Li-Rin liked Hyunjin, Y/N felt panicked as she watched the way he smiled at her while they talked. While he kept a small distance between himself and her, Y/N could see some form of a connection built between the pair. It left her unsettled as one question lingered on her mind.

Does Hyunjin like her too?

Y/N felt herself panicking during her cram school.

Hyunjin went to study with Li-Rin and Jisung. She felt herself growing nauseous at Li-Rin confessing before Y/N could talk to her about her expose at lunch. She watched the clock as the time continued to drag on. It felt like an eternity as she watched the clock a minute away from 10:30 pm.

As soon as her cram school ended, Y/N quickly made her way to the bus stop and pulls out her phone to text Li-Rin.

As she reads Li-Rins last message, Y/N feels her heart sink into her stomach and she drops her phone as if the device had burned her. Looking around in embarrassment hoping no one saw her, she quickly grabs her phone off the ground in front of her as the bus pulls up and she gets on. Walking toward the back of the bus she sits in a seat in the second to last row, leaning against the window her mind races,

What did she say?

Y/N read the message over and over again, hoping it would change. She felt bile rise in her throat as she contemplated what to reply. She wasn't sure what to do. How should she respond? What could she do? Was being a good friend saying yes? She wasn't sure if she even wanted to. How could she set the guy she likes up with anyone, let alone her friend? She felt tears prick her eyes as she struggled to find an answer as she felt someone tug on a strand of her hair.

Chalking it up to an accident Y/N stares out the window at the bright lights of the city. She almost loses herself in her emotions when she feels the person behind her tug on a strand of her hair again. Feeling irritation swell in her gut she turns around to cuss out the person. "The hell is your--Jungkook Oppa?" She questions her eyebrows scrunching together in confusion as the older male sat there with a mischievous smirk. "Finally you notice me. You know you're quite elusive" He comments with a chuckle. "I tried to say hi when you sat down but I don't think you heard or saw me"

"And you thought harassment was a good way to get my attention?"

"It's fun to annoy you. You look like crap though what's up?"

Y/N rolls her eyes at his comment "Cram school. Why do you always seem to piss me off every time I see you?" Jungkook shrugs as he shifts to sit next to her. "What's up though? Cram school sucks but it doesn't usually make you cry." He questions worriedly. Y/N crosses her arms over her chest and shrugs. "Nothing...Just stupid stuff I guess." She groans. Jungkook shakes his head "Every problem seems like the end of the world at your age but if you talk to someone older they usually seem small" He tries to convince her to open up as he bumps her shoulder with his.

Feeling her resolve crumble to dust, Y/N rambles "Ugh, It's nothing--just you remember my best friend?"

"Vividly"

"Well, my friend said she might like him and ever since the night of the party I've been freaking out because he kissed me and I liked it" She states as her speaking speeds up slightly "But I never used to like him like that before so I wouldn't have cared if my friend liked him before but now I do like him so I do care that my friend likes him" Jungkook stares at you blankly. "Jesus fuck I think you gave me a stroke trying to keep up with all of that" Jungkook jokes as he rubs his temples. "So what you're saying is you and your friend both like Hyunjin?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay? and why is that your problem?" Jungkook asks seriously raising his eyebrow. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion "What do you mean? We both like the same guy, that's wrong..."

"Who told you that?" Jungkook questions with a puzzled look on his face. Y/N stares at him dumbfounded and he sighs "Look kid, there's nothing wrong with you both liking the same guy. It's how you both handle it that will determine if it's wrong to like him or not. Does she know you like him?" Y/N shakes her head "She asked me but I just figured out how I feel so I told her no, but it's cause I thought I would have time to figure out what to do"

"Then you can't be mad at her for anything. You lied so you should fix that first, then you should tell him how you feel and let him determine who he wants to be with before you girls go fighting each other." Jungkook advises.

"She asked me to help her go out with him....am I a bad friend if I don't do it?"

"You are if you lie to her about it" Jungkook shrugs as he sighs "To be 16 and only worry about stupid shit like this again" He states in a wishful tone. "You aren't that much older than me" Y/N comments. Jungkook lifts his hand placing his index finger over her lips as he closes his eyes "Shhhhh....I'm reminiscing"

"Well, Ahjussi, you said you went to Seoul national and lived on campus right?"

"Uh-huh, why?"

"Cause we're driving past it" Y/N points out the window and Jungkooks eyes snap open as he jumps up from his seat staring out the window before he pushes the button signaling a stop and it pulls to the side of the road when it can. Y/N stifles a laugh as she covers her mouth with the back of her hand. "You're embarrassing Oppa" she comments.

"Shut up! but remember what I said" Jungkook waves her off as he rushes off the bus.

Jungkook was right....

It was childish to expect for friends to not eventually like the same person one day. It's a normal obstacle while growing up and people can't control who they develop feelings for. Is what Y/N told herself, but for the past two days every time she saw Li-Rin and Hyunjin together; she wanted to put her head through a wall. It didn't help they were paired up for a project in their class and the time they had spent together doubled as Y/N's time with him dwindled more and more.

While she still occasionally was able to hang out with him in the mornings and at lunch, something felt different about their interactions. They were distant and withdrawn and it felt odd. Y/N wasn't used to not having her best friend cling to her. But for the past few days, she couldn't remember the last time Hyunjin had any physical contact with her. Y/N found herself drifting off into thought as she sat at a table in the library, Li-Rin asked her to study with her earlier in the day and Y/N felt the need to talk to her about her request.

Y/N struggled to find a way to bring it up. How do these types of things usually go? What was it Jungkook said again? She contemplated as her mind went a mile a minute. Honesty. start with honesty she sighs to herself.

"Li-Rin...." She gasps. And the girl perks up lifting her eyes from the textbook "What's up hun?" Li-Rin gives her an innocent expression as Y/N feels her heart sink into her ass. "Uh, S-so you remember what we talked about the other day?" Li-Rin gives her a confused look "What? Hyunjin?"

Y/N nods "Well i wasnt exactly honest with you guys"

Li-Rin shrugs "Kinda figured..."

Y/N looks at her lap in shame "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable setting you up with Hyunjin." Li-Rin's eyes widen in surprise "Woah! no it's fine, we already talked and are hanging out alone Friday and stuff" She confesses almost as if she is rambling. Y/N feels her heart stop "Oh? Y-You confessed?"

Li-Rin looks around, a look of panic on her features. "Uh--Y-Yeah...sort of..." She states as she nervously looks down at her textbook, mumbling something under her breath. Y/N's blood runs cold "O-Oh..." she stutters as she bites her lips hesitantly.

Li-Rin looks at her apologetically "Y/N..--Don't let this get in the way of our friendship okay?" Y/N cuts her off as she chokes back her sadness and gives her friend a reassuring smile. "You said you sort of confessed so, I'll take a step back and if he officially says yes to you then I will work on moving on." Li-Rin feels guilt eating away at her. "I'm so sorry, Y/N..."

"Don't be. If he says no to you, then I'm gonna confess...it won't be right after and I'll be there for you wholeheartedly, and you'll still feel complete support from me no matter what okay? But I do think that, if he says no to you, then I deserve to have a chance to see if something could work out between us.....because with our history I really think it can..." Y/N confesses. "So, I'm going to be a bad friend for this one time and this one time only, because you surprising me with your feelings like that wasn't fair, I hope things don't go as you planned and whatever you plan on doing a bird poops on your head while your confessing and he laughs"

Li-Rin gives her a bewildered expression "A-are you alright in the head? You want a bird to poop on me when I confess? What if I'm inside?" Li-rin questions teasingly.

"Then I hope you fall....wait no that's mean no I don't. umm" Y/N struggles to think of something bad enough that she could laugh at her friend but not too bad she could be hurt. "I hope you pee yourself" Y/N exclaims excitedly. "Shhh" The librarian whispers in her direction and Y/N hides her face in her textbook as Li-Rin stifles a laugh.

“You’re an idiot”

Y/N felt her face fall at Hyunjin's obvious anger toward her. It had been two weeks since Y/N and Li-Rin had talked. while Y/N wanted to support her two friends' budding relationship, she felt nauseous and annoyed whenever Li-Rin and Hyunjin appeared together. Why not me? She'd wonder Why couldn't it be me? She felt guilt rising in her stomach. She had been avoiding him for longer, something about this year had changed her. Y/N didn't understand, before the idea of not talking to Hyunjin would be painful but since she had spoken to Li-Rin; talking to him hurt the most.

How was she supposed to move on? How could she be with someone else when, to Y/N, no one else could compare?

She couldn't handle it, and in the nature of honesty, she had kept her feelings for him to herself. Though every day she felt herself struggling to refrain from just marching into his bedroom and confessing. A snap in front of her pulls her out of her thoughts. "Polynomials are frustrating but not that much, which means you're not paying attention so you owe me 5 bucks" Jungkook states sarcastically. Y/N's eyes widen "5 bucks?! We agreed on a dollar"

"You weren't paying attention for 5 minutes"

Y/N gives him a look of disbelief "You took my job! You should know I'm broke." she exclaims. Jungkook shakes his head as he wipes the counter, raising an eyebrow at her "I'm literally working, tutoring you, and reading your texts at the same time" Her mouth hangs open as she goes to argue and Jungkook places his finger in front of her lips. "Shhh. Thank you, Jungkook"

"For what? Being nosy?"

"Being smarter than you"

Y/N rolls her eyes as Jungkook gives her a knowing look. "Don't okay? Hyunjin and I aren't your business" Jungkook snorts as he tosses the rag over his shoulder. Leaning back against the prep line "From where I'm standing there is no Hyunjin and you." Y/N shakes her head as she lifts her math textbook. "Not what we're supposed to be focusing on" She states as she gives the book a gentle tap on the counter. "You got distracted first" Jungkook puts his hands up in surrender. Y/N sits there, staring up at him expectantly and Jungkook raises his eyebrow "What?" he asks crossing his arms.

"Come on out with it..."

"Out with what?"

Y/N gives him a look saying 'Are you serious' with a tilt of her head. "I can literally see you trying not to combust. Holding back from just giving me advice because you know you're too damn nosy" Jungkook scoffs holding his chest in offense. "First of all missy, I'll have you know that you should feel lucky I care enough about you to be nosy." he narrows his eyes. "Oh thank you, I'll appreciate all the gold produced from your touch...."Y/N mocks. She jumps in surprise as she feels a sharp sting on her forehead as Jungkook retracts his hand away from her face. "Did you just flick me?" She exclaims.

"Anyway, why are you here with me, studying math when you could be with the guy you're in love with?"

"Because you'd miss me too much" Y/N smiles and Jungkook rolls his eyes "As much as I appreciate your presence, soul-sibling, I've known you for like 4 months at best and even I know that's bullshit" Y/N groans and covers her face in her hands. "Ugh, I just don't want to see him all over Li-Rin." Jungkook shakes his head giving her a disapproving look "If it was gonna bother you this much then you shouldn't have told her you'd support her if she confessed"

"You act like I knew it would bother me this much!"

"Is that why you haven't clarified our actual relationship to him?" Jungkook raises his eyebrow. "I'll tell him..."Y/N trails. It was Jungkook's turn to give a look of 'Are you serious?' "When? When he and Li-Rin stop hanging out?" Jungkook quips and Y/N smirks "Exactly"

"Bullshit! You're a minor that shit aint happening with my name"

"I'm kidding, Jesus old man take a joke." Y/N scoffs as she closes up her textbooks. Jungkook gives her a stern look "Clarify it or stop coming around me" Y/N's mouth hangs open in disbelief and Jungkook shakes his head in response "Don't give me that look missy. You not clarifying that we only see each other in a sibling way, makes me seem like a pervert." Y/N furrows her eyebrows in frustration "Can't I just make him jealous a little bit? I never insinuated that we like each other"

"No. I'm a fucking adult, Y/N. That's petty kid shit and honestly, you're above it too. You told Li-Rin you'd support her so keep your word or go to her and tell her how you are feeling about it." Jungkook shuts down her suggestion firmly but his tone held a caring concern. "Why do you have to be so annoying?" Y/N scoffs. Jungkook's eyebrow raises "Because I'm right?"

"Yes..." Y/N grumbled as she rested her chin on her hand looking away from Jungkook. "Stop avoiding your best friend too. It's stupid and gonna hurt his feelings. You already hurt him and pissed him off. Do you want to do more damage?" Jungkook lectures and Y/N rolls her eyes. "You do know you're not my real brother, right?"

"Really? You harass me like you're my sister though?" Jungkook scoffs as he shrugs "I mean, it's nothing for me to turn the register back on and cash this out"

"Okay, raising the white flag...hurry up so you can bring me home" Y/N raises her hands in surrender as she gestures for him to mop the kitchen. Jungkook rolls his eyes and shakes his head grabbing the mop

"I should've called out..."

One second....All it takes is one second for a calm peaceful day to turn into a storm.

Y/N sat in Jungkook's passenger seat feeling her drowsiness kicking in as he drove onto her street. The radio was playing some random playlist from Jungkook's phone, but Y/N felt herself finally relaxing for the first time in a while. Her mind sat free of worries and stress as she stared out the window. She felt excited as Jungkook pulled into the driveway. "wow you weren't lying..." Jungkook quips as he parked the car. "You really run a share house with your parents?"

"They come to manage it but they live like 10 minutes away in the same town as Hyunjin's parents. I usually decide residents after background checks since I live here and right now it's just me and Hyunjin and one other guy that's like always at work but he cleans up after himself and doesn't bother anyone so"

Jungkook shrugs as he nods "Want another tenant?"

"And live with 3 guys? I'd rather you hit me with your car." Y/N retorts. As the pair hears a knock on the passenger window, Y/N jumps in surprise. She turns to see an upset-looking Hyunjin peering into the car and she opens the door slightly. "Jinnie?" She questions "What's up?"

"Who is he?" Hyunjin asks as he stares directly at Y/N accusingly and she raises her eyebrow in confusion. "I'm Jungkook, we act--Was I talking to you?" Hyunjin cuts him off and Jungkook snorts "We've gotta stop meeting like this Hyunjin." Hyunjin narrows his eyes at Jungkook as he raises his eyebrow at him "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not fighting a child. I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N" Jungkook waves Hyunjin off as he holds out his fist for Y/N, who returns his fist bump and exits the car. Y/N stands there as Jungkook drives off and gives him a wave. Hearing a scoff from behind her she rolls her eyes and turns to her best friend. "Jinnie,--no. I'm pissed right now. like are you dumb or just oblivious?" He cuts her off and Y/N stares at him confused. "Hyunjin, what are you talking about?" A figure sitting on the stairs draws her attention, Li-Rin gives her a guilty smile and waves and Y/N looks back at Hyunjin even more confused. Why was Li-Rin here?

"Why are you spending so much time with that guy?" Hyunjin questions. "Like, can you not see that it's bothering me? How long do I have to sit there and just deal with this shit? What do I have to do to get you to look at me? Be your best friend? Support you in everything? kiss you? Oh wait, I've done every single one of those things, and still! still, I'm not enough for you? What is it going to fucking take, Y/N seriously" His voice growing more and more erratic as he stares at her with desperation on his features. Y/N feels her heart race at his rant, what does this mean?

"J-Jinnie...I didn't realize it was bothering you so much. but I don't know w-where this is coming from..." Y/N trails "You're more than enough for me. I don't understand?" Hyunjin groans in frustration "Can you seriously not tell I like you?" Y/N feels butterflies in her stomach her eyes widen and her cheeks turn a bright scarlet, but just as soon as she feels her excitement, guilt replaces it. Her eyes drift over to Li-Rin and she feels Hyunjin's hands encase her arms "Fuck Li-Rin..I'm talking to you!"

"Wow...Thanks dude" Li-Rin retorts sarcastically.

"You know what I mean!" Hyunjin snaps at her "Why are you still here?"

"Jisungie told me to be nosy" Li-Rin quips as she leans back on her hands. Y/N stares at them puzzled. As Hyunjin turns to her "Go home. It backfired and I'm not in the mood right now." Y/N furrows her eyebrows as her ears perk up. "What backfired?" She questioned as she stared at the pair. "Nothing...Li-Rin just agreed to help me and it didn't work" Hyunjin grits as he scowls at Li-Rin who scoffs "It was a stupid plan. How am I supposed to pretend to have a crush on you when I'm dating your friend?"

"Jisung did fine...." Hyunjin argued.

Y/N feels like a bucket of ice was poured over her head. Li-Rin pretended to have a crush on Hyunjin? To help him? Y/N couldn't help the feeling of betrayal that welled up in her chest. Tears burned in her eyes "Y-You guys made a plan?" She questioned in disbelief, her voice just above a whisper. Hyunjin looks at her with guilt in his eyes "I-It wasn't anything bad I promise you...I just wanted to know if you felt the same way" Y/N ignores him and stares at Li-Rin "Am I a joke to you?" taking a couple of steps so she is directly in front of Li-Rin and Hyunjin grasps Y/N's arm pulling her slightly back "Its not her fault..." Y/N shoves his hand off her as she steps back in front of Li-Rin and nods waiting for Li-Rin to answer.

"Of course, you're not a joke to me..."

"So you're expecting it correct?" Y/N asks and Li-Rin nods. Y/N brings her hand across Li-Rin's cheek harshly. "Y/N?!" Hyunjin exclaims in shock as he pulls her back from Li-Rin, who stands up and waves him off "Don't.....I deserved that" Hyunjin shakes his head "No, this is my fault I'm the one that asked for help" He argues to Y/N. Y/N looks away from him as she rolls her eyes "She's a big girl that can make her own decisions." Li-Rin nods as she pats Hyunjin on the shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Y/N" She waves as she walks down the street.

Hyunjin and Y/N stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity before anyone spoke. "Baby,--oh you thought you were pissed." Y/N cut him off and Hyunjin's body deflats. "You manipulated me..."

Hyunjin's eyes widen in a panic "N-No, it wasn't like that I swear" He stammers as he steps closer to her. His heart sinks as she takes a step back "Y/N..." She sighs at the dejected tone in his voice. "Jinnie, Just-just give me a second okay?" she states as she takes a deep calming breath. "Can I ask why you couldn't just talk to me?"

"You always think I'm joking or drunk or bored.." Hyunjin pouts. "How could I ask if you liked me like that? You always said I'm your best friend so I never thought you'd look at me like that" Y/N sighs as she rubs her hand over her face. "We're dumbasses....just straight-up fools I swear" She mutters, and Hyunjin raises his eyebrow in confusion "Huh?" "Nothing, we just both are stupid people who forget the other is our soulmate. Jinnie, of course, I like you that way, how could I not? You're literally everything I would want in a guy" She confesses as she goes to walk inside to bring the conversation out of the cold before it dawns on her "Hold on," She points as she turns back to Hyunjin with a quizzical look "You said I always think you're drunk or joking" a panicked expression flashes across Hyunjin's face.

"You were drunk that night right?"

"I--Well, you see what had happened was..." Hyunjin trails and Y/N's mouth hangs open as she closes the front door. "Nope, you stay in the cold until the conversation is over now. Hwang Hyunjin, I swear to god if you made me basically carry you home and you were almost completely sober I'm telling you now that I will disown you" Hyunjin shakes his head "Was tipsy at best I promise" He puts his hands up in surrender. "Wasn't as drunk as I made it seem 'cause I wanted to kiss you and you always let me when I'm drunk" Hyunjin explains cautiously. Y/N rolls her eyes at him "So you're manipulative? You realize that's a giant red flag right?"

Hyunjin nods "I'll be color blind if you do..."

"You already know, basically born that way" Y/N jokes with a shrug and Hyunjin rolls his eyes at her as he wraps his arms around her waist. "So, we are like, dating now right?" Hyunjin asks as he rests his chin on her shoulder. Y/N shrugs as she doesn't respond pretending to contemplate her answer. "Babyy~" Hyunjin whines as he begins placing soft pecks along her neck. "Don't torture me" Y/N shakes her head and turns around wrapping her arms around his neck "So don't ask a stupid question" She retorts as she scrunches her nose at him.

Hyunjin gives her a small chuckle before pressing his lips to hers engulfing her in a passionate kiss. Their lips danced together before Y/N pulled away "I knew you'd be a better kisser sober..." She joked

"Shut up...."

taglist: @yangbbokari @lovesunshinefelix @tr-mha-fan @threeopossumsinacoat

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