#plus the mood swings were Real and i was getting like. dangerously suicidal

[itsboysauce]

fuck. fuck goddamnit fucking hell fucking fuck

[zebulontheplanet]

Hello, I was hoping to ask about schizoaffective disorder depressive type if that is okay with you.

I saw a new therapist today and talked about past hallucinations and stuff I’ve had and whatever and it led to her suspecting shizoaffective disorder depressive type. I saw a post of you saying that there’s not much resources on depressive type and in researching today I have found the same thing to be true. I would like to ask what your experience is like having this disorder, and what it looks like on a day to day. While the disorder seems to fit me I worry that I’m faking and that I’m not that bad off… I have very mixed feelings.

Sorry this is word salad! If you do know of resources for schizoaffective disorder depressive type I would be grateful for those too, but no worries if not!

Thank you for your time and have a great day

Hi anon! There aren’t many resources on Schizoaffective depressive type, and I don’t have any that I can remember off the top of my head.

I can tell you what mine was like though. Below this cut will be talk about suicidal tendencies, homicidal thoughts, and depression.

My experience has been rocky. I started showing signs very young, and started hallucinating very young as well. For as long as I could remember I was hallucinating and having delusions. I was also showing signs of depression at a very young age, as well as very extreme depressive mood swings.

I would have these mood swings, where one minute I was fine, and the next minute I’d be crying and having suicidal thoughts and ideations. These mood swings were severe, and continued to ruin my life. Because of these mood swings, and homicidal thoughts as well as paranoid thoughts, I was hospitalized several times for months at a time throughout my youth.

My mood swings continued to get worse into my teens, especially during my period, which I at the time thought was PMDD, but later learned it was just the increase of emotions plus my mood swings, dangerously swirling together.

Although I had delusions, I almost always experienced something called “double bookkeeping” meaning I was aware of my delusions being fake, however still believed that they were real to an extent and had to act on them. This is apparently a pretty rare thing to have and do? But I’m not sure how true that is.

No doctor knew what was wrong with me, and they had thrown around the word schizophrenia for awhile but didn’t want to diagnose me with it because I was so young. Throughout the years, I learned to mask my disorder, and basically make myself look and feel ok although I constantly felt like I was faking it. I continued to have extreme depressive mood swings, but not to the point I needed to be hospitalized.

After awhile, I took a break from medications and doctors because I was quite frankly done with it and just wanted some time to breathe. I quickly realized that I wouldn’t be able to continue my life off medication and at 19 I saw a psych who finally gave me the answers. She knew exactly what was wrong with me and I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder depressive type within the first appointment.

I feel like the diagnosis fits me well. I am on medication now and I’m the most stable I have been in a very very long time. It has taken three hospital stays, dozens of medication trials, dozens of doctors, to get here. But I’m here and finally happy.

I still experience a lot of symptoms, especially negative symptoms. But I take it one day at a time.

I hope this helps you and I hope you have a wonderful day! Sending you good luck wishes with your journey and love.

[roseofithaca]

Defrosting Grumpy Three (a Season 8 meta)

I keep thinking about how Season 8 of Classic Who is almost like the first one the show has to a ‘season long arc’ that I don’t feel gets talked about enough. Obviously everyone knows it as “the one where the Master is in every story” but I feel like there is a subtle character arc for the Doctor in this season as well which is tied to the two main characters introduced in the first episode; the Master and Jo Grant.

I’m not the first one to point out that out of Three’s five seasons; this is the one where he’s at his most grumpy and short-tempered. I know a lot of people point to this season as reasons for why they don’t like Three and I totally get that, he’s a real git sometimes, in particular the first and last stories. There are moments where he’s asking for a slap and, no, I’m not talking about him claiming to be buddies with Chairman Mao and a Tory MP. Because I would’ve thought it was obvious that he drops those names purely to gain trust of these people who don’t trust him (at least that’s my headcanon because it doesn’t fit with the anti-capitalist, anti-pollution, anti-imperialist writing). Just him being constantly ungrateful to the Brigadier, snapping at Jo, or just being childish in the most ‘kid throwing a tantrum’ way possible.

But it’s easy to get why. By Season 8 he’s been trapped on Earth for we can assume at least a year. New Who fans who’ve seen the Power of Three and saw how crazy Eleven went when he tried to stay on Earth to study the cubes just for a few days/weeks know the Doctor can’t stand staying still, especially in one time and place. In his first season he could be short-tempered but slightly less so. In Spearhead he’s quite polite and motivated, though that could be the most pleasant form of Post Regeneration Trauma he’s been through. Plus he had Liz, who you can see he immediately clicked with. A fellow genius who finds herself out of place or treated a little unfairly as a female scientist surrounded by men, both of them willing to sass the Brigadier when he deserves it. He also still keeps trying to fix the TARDIS, as if convinced this won’t be as permanent as the Time Lords intended.

But by Season 8 (or you could say even before that, in Inferno) his attempts clearly haven’t succeeded past slipping into a terrifying parallel universe, and now cabin fever is setting in. And Liz, his science bud, has gone off and left. And while it’s sad we didn’t get a goodbye between the two of them, her passing remark towards the Brigadier about the Doctor just needing someone to pass him test tubes and fill his praise kink maybe implies that, at least from Liz’ POV, they weren’t as equals as Three thought, or she didn’t feel that fulfilled working with him, even if she did appreciate him as a friend. 

So enter Jo to replace Liz, who is everything Liz wasn’t. Liz had to study and work her way to her position; Jo is a spoiled girl who got to play spy by sheer nepotism. She failed A level science and doesn’t have the same sharp-wit he and Liz shared. Three is mean to her even before she introduces herself as his assistant when she only tries to help, and doesn’t hide his disappointment when she tells him. Perhaps it might also be that she reminds him of his companions before Liz; she’s cute and perky like Zoe and also loyal and determined like Jamie, even though she lacks Jamie’s physical strength and Zoe’s genius. Still, she’s young and he might not want to put her in danger the same way he nearly lost his previous young companions many times in the War Games.

When Three goes to the Brigadier to try to get rid of Jo, the Brig is far more smug than in the previous season, as he seems to have worked the Doctor out by this point. Their little moment at the end of Inferno where Three insults him and tries to escape only to then come back with his tail between his legs acting all buddy has shown him who Three really is; that this whole grumpy shtick of this is just a defence mechanism while he’s so out of his depth. I like to think the Brig hoped Jo would soften him up, to bring out the compassion that was more overt in his previous incarnation, as well as just pass him test tubes and keep tabs on him. His knowing smile when he watches Three try and fail miserably to fire her seems to prove his point.

In the same story we also have the Master showing up for the very first time. He was created to be the ‘Moriarty to the Doctor’s Holmes’. These kind of ‘foil enemies’ that pop up in so many stories, where you have a villain who is supposed to be a perfect match in intelligence or skill to the hero, are more often than not presented as ‘what the hero could have been’ if they chose to be evil rather than good; the Master is no different. And even though it’s not established until the next season that the Doctor and Master used to be friends, there’s clearly an underlining fondness in their banter which hints at past feelings as well as mutual respect. It says quite a lot that Three is more relaxed and friendly during his conversations with the Master half the time they talk than he is with the humans he’s meant to be saving, or even his own close friends. Because, for all their moral disagreements, the Master is his own kind and his only link - other than his broken TARDIS - to the rest of the Universe. 

In almost every story of S8, after the Master has revealed his evil scheme only for the Doctor to point out how it will backfire on him, they have to work together or form some kind of alliance of convenience. In Claws of Axos, the Doctor outright pretends to betray his friends and elope join forces with the Master to escape, only for it to be a trick in order to defeat the Axons. But considering Three’s attitude in this season, it’s a very convincing act as much to the audience as to the humans. And then in Colony in Space, the Master offers the Doctor half-ownership of the Universe....and the Doctor clearly hesitates! Yes, the Master tempts him with the persuasion of ruling ‘in the name of good’ but Three has to take a moment to remember what a slippery slope that line of thinking is. He’s so tired of being trapped, sick of being leashed by the Time Lords, that the Master comes along as a devil on his shoulder at his most vulnerable point. Considering the last story involves the Master summoning the actual Devil (or close enough) and is also where Three’s temper seems to be at its peak seems all too fitting.

It’s also interesting that the Master’s greatest fear that appears in the Mind of Evil is an image of the Doctor laughing maniacally over him. It’s the closest we get to an image of Dark!Three in the show. To contrast; the Doctor’s greatest fear isn’t the Master, it’s the eruption from Inferno. Seeing the Earth swallowed by flame - not because of an outside force like the Daleks or Cybermen, but by humans themselves. It’s easy to imagine him wondering why he even bothers with them when they’re their own worst enemy.

(Side note; apparently the Evil Overlord in the Inferno parallel world IS the Third Doctor, according to the Expanded Universe, though I haven’t read up on this. We were robbed of seeing Pertwee play an evil Doctor.)

So while this is going on and the Master is playing his games with the Doctor while also tempting him, intentionally or not, to the ‘dark side’, we also have Jo at his side. And Jo takes all of the Doctor’s snapping and mood swings like a pro, and is very quickly overwhelmed with a lot of the stuff she’s faced which that she didn’t know she was signing up for - being hypnotised, captured by aliens, taken to alien worlds in the far future etc. She screams as most companions did at that time, but because it is what you would expect from a girl fresh out of school and throwing herself into something she clearly didn’t properly prepare for. The Doctor has to save her a lot, more than often because she tried to help only to get herself captured. As much as he does warm to her - because he’s not immune to how adorable she is - it serves to prove his point. Even when he finally gets to leave Earth for a day, she’s too frightened to want to leave the TARDIS. What good is she to him?

Now she continues to prove she has her uses. She has her escapology skills which get them out of a few tight spots. Depending on the writer, she can turn into an Emma Peel-esque agent capable of self-defence and subterfuge. And she’s always patient with the Doctor, no matter what mood he’s in, and extremely loyal. She’s also kind and compassionate with every side character she comes across. There seems to have been a backlash to these kinds of qualities in female characters in the past twenty years or so, what I like to call the Cinderella critique, where if a woman is kind and generous more so than smart, sassy and sword-wielding she’s seen as ‘weak’. Jo is always there at the Doctor’s side when he’s managed to get hurt or knocked out (Three took a lot of naps, anyone else notice this?). Even after he does whisk her away to another planet and nearly don’t make it back, she could easily throw her job away if it was too much, but she sticks with it because you can see that she wants more than anything to be useful and do good for her world - it would be another two season until she found what her own passion was with being an environmental activist but this is where she wants to start.

But it’s not until the end of S8 that we see Jo’s greatest strength and how it saves Three when every other defence he had was gone. He’s spent most of that story chastising her for believing in magic and superstition, as well as anything else he can find to snap at her for like criticising the Brigadier even though he does the same thing all the damn time (this could be seen as a ‘I can insult my bro but you can’t’ moment but it’s still not pleasant). But when he learns the Master is preparing to sacrifice her, he runs in to save her despite knowing it’s a suicide mission. He also gives a cold exchange to the Master when told he’s a ‘doomed man’. 

Oh I’m a dead man! I knew that as soon as I walked through those doors so you better watch out! I have nothing to lose, do I?

It’s a telling line that, behind all his patronising and abruptness, he’s reached a point he doesn’t feel he has anything left to keep going. He’s lost his freedom and his knowledge of time travel; but he’ll die before letting Jo die or letting the Earth burn again. When Azal claims the daemons gave humans knowledge, Three responds: Finally he’s turning his anger on the one who deserves it to save the one who has been his friend, even at his lowest points, for the past several months, while still showing his disappointment in what he’s seen of humans living amongst them:

You gave them knowledge to blow up the world and they most certainly will. They can poison the water and the very air they breathe. 

When Azal appears, he nearly makes the Master’s greatest fear come true by offering his power to the Doctor instead. And the Doctor looks horrified, immediately doing a Jon Snow and refusing it. Unlike when the Master offered him power before, he doesn’t hesitate for a moment, even though Azal’s powers could probably get his TARDIS working again in a snap. He looks almost scared at the thought of possessing something like that. Perhaps his dark persona in that other world became that way because he did take such an offer?

Azal prepares to kill the Doctor for refusing his offer, which is where Jo saves the day by offering her life for his. A lot of people dislike this ending for the idea of the villain being destroyed ‘by the power of love’ more or less, but this was a lot less common a deus ex machina as it is in New Who. The Doctor explains how it works when they’re free as:

Azal could not accept a fact as irrational and illogical as Jo being prepared to give up her life for me.

Three says it as he’s just as baffled, if also amused, by it as Azal was. Why would Jo give up her life for him? Compare that with when Ten has to give up his incarnation to save Wilf, how he rants that Wilf isn’t important but he has ‘so much more’ to give. Even the Doctor wrestles when it comes to sacrificing himself for others sometimes but Jo did it without a seconds thought, made even more illogical given Three’s often harsh treatment of her. But one thing that is obvious is that Three’s grumpy face is gone; he’s smiling for the rest of the episode, looking at Jo with quiet heart eyes, and letting her drag him into the maypole dance, conceding that she was right and there is ‘magic’ in the world. 

Much like Rose was the companion Nine needed after the Time War to enjoy seeing the Universe again and appreciating life, Jo serves a similar purpose in S8 in that she gradually reminds the Doctor through her actions of the strengths in being brave, kind and selfless. She and the rest of the UNIT family are there to remind him of the goodness in humanity and that we’re always learning and trying to improve; as Three says to Azal that ‘they need a chance to grow up’. Jo is the angel on his shoulder to contrast the Master as his personal devil; right down to having her dressed in the sacrificial ‘virgin’ garb opposite the Satanic Master to cap the season off.

Three still has his sour moments after this but he’s far less cantankerous going forward and sweeter towards Jo especially, praising her bravery and learning in future, just as Jo also grows more confident in her abilities and enjoys her adventures with him. He seems far more relaxed on Earth and less desperate to get away because of the people he has around him that make it worth staying around for. Three’s morals and loyalty to humanity might not have been so firm had Jo not been there to ground him, especially with the Master constantly there almost holding out a hand to him offering freedom and excitement. Like all good companions, she saves the Doctor as much as he has to save her, in more ways than one, which she doesn’t get nearly enough credit for. And it’s what adds to the heartbreak of her eventual exit because of the effect she had on his life.

It’s just one of my favorite tropes when a character gets better and softens or becomes kinder not because they had to ‘change for someone else’ but because they were inspired by them, especially if it’s the person they underestimated the most.

[thecharmingknightemma]

EF about page for mobile

basic information

Written since s2 of ouat with thecharmingprincessemma and thewhiteknightprincess urls. Big reminder that if your character is personally involved in her backstory, I will happily change things so they are free to interact and not forced to follow my headcanons.  Verses at the bottom.

In this page you'll find: -short version of her backstory -long version of her backstory -heads up -verses involving the Enchanted Forest

FULL NAME: Emma of the White Kingdom. (Known also as Swan Princess, Swan, Emma, Em) AGE: younger than 28 by default if she's not gone 'dark' GENDER: cis female ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION: straight LANGUAGES: most of those spoken in the nearby kingdoms and realms, some ancient ones as well. But not fluent.   MENTAL ILLNESSES: depression when younger (until she turns 28 and we go to the next phase of her life, in which she has that and PTSD, panic attacks, and anger issues).

SHORT VERSION OF HER BACKSTORY

For people who won't read a longer one, but there is more to read after the long version, and keep in mind that this is just a summary: super happy princess and knight of the White Kingdom, can be found everywhere doing pretty much anything whether appropriate or not, hopeful, stubborn, chatty, blunt, overprotective, good listener but can be petty, loves dances and ballgowns as much as armors and swords. Peak Chaotic Dumbass always ready to go get in trouble. Very affectionate. She will be very appreciative of everyone until proven wrong. Sometimes she sees the world in many shades of grey, other times it's black and white and she will kill if she believes it necessary. Always working when home and bad at letting people help her, when outside she's a loud and enthusiastic (and not so graceful) knight who may not make the best decisions. Traumatized in her love life (toxic manipulative boyfriend Arian who was with her to prove he could tame her and broke her heart), she lost hope about finding her own love and plans an arranged marriage for herself, believing most of her life will stop once she's married and that she'll spend the rest of her life in the castle, but trying to make the best of it for her people. An adventurer. She convinced she's too weak to handle true pain because of the 'melancholy' that hit her after Arian but the depression actually came from her heart remembering she was meant to be pregnant in her original (canon) timeline.

Will really appreciate good looking men as well and flirt, doesn't mean she expects anything to happen, but she does have one night stands and keeps in touch in a friendly way sometimes, just runs away from love.

The future she was meant to have (the canon tvshow) was changed and never happened because of canon Rumplestiltskin not drinking a potion to forget what he learned about the future so he could change it, but she feels the absence of a son without knowing she was meant to have him and has no idea she has magic; the fairies, trying to help her, gave her teas that are memory potions to suppress all that pain and memories and to avoid the rise of another evil queen.

When she'll turn 28, the time when she was meant to be the Savior, she'll remember and her mind will shatter due to potions and too many fake memories in her alternate realities. She'll be also captured by clerics and tortured to try to get rid of her powers. Her mind will be filled with dark magic in an attempt to keep her memories together, and her own white magic can hurt it, there are different lives constantly fighting in her head and more than that the agony of having lost Henry, her son, and that entire destiny, making her turn against everyone who had a part in it - and pretend to not love anyone else anymore so that the people she cares for won't be used against her.

LONG BACKSTORY

AU Where the curse didn’t happen because canon Rumplestiltskin didn’t drink the potion to forget what Emma Swan told him about Neal dying, and changed his future. He created a parallel universe where Regina was defeated and cast away (with his help, because he found out Belle was alive and trapped by the queen, and he wanted revenge). 

In the Enchanted Forest, Emma grew up with her parents, and with Pinocchio and Alexandra at her side, a happy, adventurous child; around age fifteen, when so often spending time in town, she was courted by the son of the baker, Arian, who had a bet going with his friends: he'd be able to tame the wild princess. After a year of being together, the guilt of having made the princess, who had turned out to be so nice (and that he had manipulated into becoming as ladylike and gentle as he wanted), fall in love with him pushed him to confess the truth.

Emma's heart was broken: she lied to everyone about the reason of the breakup, told everyone he had realized he didn't love her and that was all, and spent days feeling humiliated, betrayed and hurt, until one day she met Grace, the Hatter's daughter, and ran away with her to go on an adventure and forget. She came back days later, knowing her parents and friends must be dying of worry, and tried to make up for it, to act normal, but she wasn't so successful. Months later she started feeling even more miserable right when she should have been pregnant in a world without magic. She couldn't remember a life that she didn't live but her heart was hurting, not forgetting a child that should have been there, a consequence of changing the future.

She began to feel a new odd emptiness that she couldn’t explain, knowing there was something or someone that she missed, until one day when Henry was supposed to be born she felt the very real physical pain from it and thought she might be dying or going insane; that was the last push for her to ask the Blue Fairy for help and start fighting again, wanting to be happy again both for herself and her loved ones, receiving a magical tea that was meant tot help and that suppressed her memories. She stopped believing she'd find love, but found joy in helping others, in adventures, in mixing her passion for duels and her silliness to the love for dances and clothes and food.

Blue knew part of what she had lost, and could feel that in the future they were all at risk of getting a new, terrible villain, so she was trying to save Emma and the kingdom.

Sadly, her attempts were not meant to work.

Emma didn't tell anyone else about her pains and nightmares (except for Grace who found out on her own) and is still traveling, enjoying her freedom and sure that her life the way she likes it will end once she'll have to take the crown and be trapped in her castle; she also wants to prove herself as a hero, a warrior like her parents, which is why it's easy to find her fighting beasts or exploring dangerous places, but also befriending everyone she meets and trying to help them, as 'tactful' and hopeful as her father and as trusting and impulsive as her mother. She loves fun, visits so often Hansel and Gretel's tavern that her townpeople just expect her there at this point, gets in danger whenever she can take a break from her duties, still chased by the rebels who don't want her parents to rule or are on the side of the Evil Queen, and of course the men under old King George's control, who never accepted the loss of his real son.

On her twenty-eight birthday in this world she will remember everything, and between the knowledge of the life she was meant to have, the loss of a true love who was never born, the teas given her to suppress memories, and her own magic, and torture from clerics to get rid of her witch said, Emma will break and temporarily retreat to find a way to control her magic, to make sure her memories won't go away again, and to plan revenge on anyone responsible for it. She'll pretend to be fully evil and not care about anyone anymore after her change so that they won't be targeted by the enemies she's making (Rumplestiltskin, the fairies, even Cora), which is easier to do when looking at her family makes her only remember the things she's lost, and feel the guilt because she was beloved and now she can't be with them anymore.

Cold skin, dark magic trying to keep her mind together and making it painful to use white magic, she'll be hiding in the summer palace and planning revenge, but the role of villain will never suit her too well. (She doesn't know, but Henry's spirit lives in Neverland and can be brought back.)

Note: she does plan to take the dark curse from Rumplestiltskin if possible and finally die and reunite with Henry, taking it with Henry. Suicidal ideation is therefore present, as well as depression and PTSD from torture and more. I can get around it if needed because it's a trigger to you, although when it comes to wanting to die it's not exactly a constant theme (Emma fighting depression and mood swings is, however.) You can find a few more details here.

A HEADS UP ABOUT THE CHARACTER

While she does work hard so that one day she’ll be able to reign and make her people happy (which involves knowing laws and working with them to better people’s lives, take care of the kingdom’s resources, taxes and so on) she’s not the best diplomat yet, and her recklessness and bluntness, even if she tries to ‘fix it’, plus her inappropriate behaviors, have created friction between her and many other royals from other kingdoms. 

There has been one occasion in which she went to fight a dragon without proper armor because she forgot it, too in a rush to get back to a town where some delicious pies were on sale. She almost died, predictably, and to this day Pinocchio and Grace will bring up this story to try to slow down whatever new quest she has in mind. Everything can be made into a quest.

Animals come to her when she sings (especially those from the Enchanted Forest).

She can tell when people are lying, though not always, depending on how emotional she is.

She has a black horse that she called Apple - because at first he was insufferable and nobody could stand his temper. Now he is still insufferable and scary, but at least not to her. He's a giant horse and had potentially some magical ancestor but it's hard to tell.

Enchanted Forest verses

princess v. stealing beans: verse where she either willingly crossed a portal open by a bean or feel through one and ended up in another world - for crossovers in which she's still princess Emma. 

v. royal cinnamon: anything set from her birth until Arian breaks up with her a few months after turning sixteen. Emma is more inexperienced, hasn’t traveled much yet, though she does train to be a knight. At fifteen, after the courting started, she dropped some of her tomboy attitude to be more ladylike, the way Arian was manipulating her to be, and she found out that she liked that too. Balls, ballgowns, tea parties and everything that she had rejected as a child. 

v. melancholy: set after the break up and finding out it was all for a bet Arian made with friends (being able to tame the wild princess). In the following months she had to recover from heartbreak; she met Grace the day after the breakup and joined her on an adventure, running away for a few days but regretting it because of the pain caused to her family. She did like the taste of adventure and promised herself to travel more. However that’s when the ‘no Henry’ sickness started, hitting her body and mind and leaving her hopeless and barely able to interact with friends for a year until she slowly began to heal because of Blue’s teas. She believes the 'melancholy' was due to the break up and that she's too weak to handle love, and that the pains that sometimes she still feels are due to stress. 

v. born to be wild: anything set after she starts travelling and seeing the world, around eighteen, and before her twenty-eight birthday. Emma is balancing duties of a princess who one day wants to rule and pleasures of a knight who enjoys life fully. She also counts down to the day when she knows she’ll have to force herself to marry someone for the good of the kingdom. 

potential verse that doesn’t happen in every timeline - v. white witch: Emma learns she has magic and runs away from the castle, knowing her people will reject another ‘witch’ in charge, hiding and trying to use her magic to save people without getting too exposed.

 v. dark witch: anything set after her 28 birthday when she remembers everything and her brain shatters. Memories come and go constantly, her magic is out of control, she wants revenge and Henry back. She’s captured by clerics once, tortured, and after freeing herself she retires to the Summer Palace, with some loyal servants choosing to join her. She acts heartlessly with her old friends and people in general to avoid weakness (though she’s not great at keeping the act when people are in danger) and plots the fairies’ destruction and Rumplestiltskin’s ruin using memories from lives she hasn’t lived. She will join anyone who can get her what she wants. She also used dark magic to stitch her mind back together, reason why when she uses white magic she hurts herself tremendously.

also potential verse -  v. dark one: set after she takes the dagger and becomes Dark One in one way or another (Rumple might or might not be still alive and suffering if she found a way to transfer the darkness to herself). The fairies might or might not have been defeated. She’s more in control of her powers and memories.

v. hope: set after she finds out Henry can be brought back (through Neverland, or the other Authors) and starts travelling to find what she needs for that to happen. She doesn’t publicize her identity to avoid trouble, but also because any enemy who finds out she still cares about something might use it against her.

v. mother and believer: set after Henry is born/brought back to her and Emma has retired, hiding from enemies and raising her son or, in verses where she got Henry back without going through a dark witch stage, is simply keeping him with her at the castle.

v. the Mad Hag: Emma was taken away and locked into a tower by Rumplestiltskin (or someone else, it can be plotted) before her 28th birthday so that she wouldn't be a danger once remembering her other life, her magic also suppressed. When her memories did come back, free to wreck havoc in her mind, Emma remembered the life she was meant to live as Emma Swan, and the cursed life Regina gave her so she could leave with Henry before Pan's curse hit, and her own Enchanted Forest life, and with no magic to help, the pain took over her mind, leaving her in a constant state of confusion, lives and memories overlapping and every now and then allowing her to remember other people the way they were in other lives. Once freed, of course her mind will slowly clear up again, as well as her magic which would be out of control. She's scared and lost, and will have to put back the pieces of the puzzle to understand what happened.

v. mermaid curse: Emma is accidentally cursed to be a mermaid every day and turn back into a woman every night until receiving a kiss of (romantic) true love. She has resigned herself to live this way, trying not to swim too far when a mermaid or she'll drown at sunset, and not to deep into the forest or she'll end up trapped on the ground by her own tail. If she didn't believe in finding love as a woman, how can she now? Open of course to all sorts of relationships, not just romantic threads.

v. twelve hours curse: same concept as the mermaid curse, but in this case she can turn into different species: dragon, dog, swan.

[askauradonprep]

A Pirate’s Life For Me

So, the Hooks kinda blew through the competition in the family dynamics vote. I’m not super surprised tbh. The Hook family is very popular, as evidenced by the plethora of head canon requests I’ve got, the 26 requests in my ask box for Harry (plus a couple for CJ) and the asks I got for Hook during our “Parent questions” theme day. The Hooks, and Harry in particular, seems to have become quite the fandom magnet. So here is the head canon post as promised. 

Under a read more for some seriously unhealthy and abusive dynamics. Some of this gets DARK. Also because this is going to be very long. Content warnings for abuse, graphic and blunt mentions of death and violence, one mention of suicidal thoughts, and mentions of Frollo being creepy (but not graphic and he doesn’t actually physically harm anyone).

Captain James Hook

- Hook drinks more than he used to because of the conditions on the Isle - not just because it’s miserable, but because wine is often cleaner than water. That’s done wonders for his temper, as I’m sure you can imagine - he’s volatile, vengeful and violent as ever. 

- When Hook was in a good mood, he’d send a drink to their table and drink with the crew. They’d sing sea shanties and pirate songs. Harriet was maybe six her first time and the other two were both like 8 when he first did it. 

- He has his kids call him ‘Captain’ to his face. He doesn’t like being called dad. 

- He’s very controlling? Like, his kids are not going anywhere permanently. He needs them around to help with the shop and they can leave when he says. 

- Don’t give him the idea his kids are disloyal. There will be hell to pay. He’s big on ‘crew’ - it’s not like having allies, who team up while the getting is good. Crew’s have agreed to band together and watch each other’s backs. You’re on his ship, you’re crew, KIDS. And if you are disloyal......eek.

- How good of a parent Hook is drastically depends on whether he’s in a good mood, a neutral mood, or a bad mood. When he’s in a good mood, he’ll move heaven and earth for his kids, as much as a villain can anyways. 

- And when he’s in a bad mood (which is most days) he is actively dangerous for his kids to be around because he’s violent, has volatile moods and he’s a drinker. When he’s feeling neutral, he just…..meh. He probably won’t hurt his kids but he won’t go out of his way to interact with them either.

- Although, one constant is that he’s a protective dad - either because you’re messing with his kids (good mood) or because by messing with his kids, you’re messing with him (neutral and bad mood). This seems to have carried on to his kids - no matter how mad they were or how much they wanted to avoid each other, if you harm or threaten one of their siblings, they will make you regret it. Assuming they get to you before you stare down the barrel of a gun held by Hook. 

- He’s set himself up as a role model, getting the kids to emulate him to an extent, while also frightening them with his mood swings, explosive anger, threats, locking them in either their room or the brig, and violent lashing out. He also has a nasty habit of playing them against each other and violently controlling them, especially if they try to leave.

- He’s not worried about coercing his kids into his feuds or fights. It’s fine, he’ll be there to shoot anything hurting them if something goes wrong, but they’re going to fight for him dammit. He’s hardly above emotional blackmail or loopholes in deals. 

Hook’s wife

- Died in childbirth. According to Harriet, ‘CJ’s fat head ripped her open and she bled to death’

- She was cold, cruel, stoic, and quiet. She never really got up in arms about much, unlike her husband. There was a kind of balance there. 

- She usually kept Harriet away from Hook when he was in a bad mood, as well as Harry, who was only an infant at the time. 

- She looked quite a bit like Harriet, but with CJ’s hair. 

- She wasn’t one to be crossed unless one wanted a knife in the ribs. 

- When she was mad at her kids, she tended to withdraw and pretend they were gone. 

- She was probably a pirate or something similar who worked with or served pirates. 

- I’m thinking Harriet is the only one of her kids who remember her - Harry was only a year old and she died giving birth to CJ. 

- Nobody’s quite sure if she was actually the mother of Harriet and Harry as well. Hook’s not sharing and she’s the only mother Harriet remembers - she was around when Harry was born, though Harriet doesn’t remember well enough whether or not she actually gave birth to him. For simplicity’s sake, Harriet’s just decided ‘fuck it, she was our mother’ and the other two don’t know any different. 

Regardless of whether she was the mother of all his kids or just CJ, Hook must have been very fond of her - he keeps a picture on a nightstand around. Meanwhile, if there were other mothers, there’s no evidence of it. 

- She used to tell Harriet stories and teach her how pirate songs went. She also used to hum to Harry when she wanted him to go down to sleep. 

Harriet Hook

- Harriet is about 19 when the franchise starts and about 20 now - so, about 3 years older than Harry and 4 years older than CJ. She's the oldest VK. 

- When her mother died, she took it upon herself to do most of the day to day raising of her siblings. As time went on, other adults noticed and started paying her dad to have her babysit. I don’t think there’s any VKs she hasn’t watched at least twice (outside things where villains are meeting to plot a way off the isle or partying or something, where she’s stuck in charge of the VKs in general). As she got older, she got her crew to help a little, but even with kids her age, she was usually in charge. Some of Hook’s crew used to nickname her ‘The Pirate’s Wendy’. She hates that nickname. She can’t deny that she’s stuck in the crux between her sibling’s sister and being their mother figure though (even if she’ll flatten them if they ever dare CALL her ‘mother’). 

- Harriet deeply resents that she had to raise her siblings. She was four - she never should have been responsible for two children only a few years younger than herself. She was TOO YOUNG. And it’s Hook’s fault, sure, but people aren’t always rational and sometimes she can’t help but resent her siblings for it. That isn’t helped by the fact Hook’s hired her out as a babysitter for anyone with cash, goods, or offering favours. She is NOT their NANNY. She used to have an iron fist style of babysitting - she figured if they were more afraid of making her mad than making their parents, they would listen to her and not make her look weak and incompetent to the parents (

- Harriet tends to cope with her environment by drinking, reading, or joining in the crew’s singing (as long as her dad isn’t working - he’s still a crack shot). 

- She’s not much into taking over as any kind of HBIC the way Mal or Uma is. She’s okay just chilling with her pirate crew and claiming seniority on the other kids. Mal tried to frighten her once and she laughed. “Really? I used to be your goddamned babysitter, don’t try to intimidate me. Sit down, little girl.” 

- She’s alcoholic as heck? Like, if she’s sober by noon, it’s a very sober day for her. Rum, whiskey, beer, and vodka are her favourites and she always has at least one flask of each on her - one on each hip and one up each sleeve. Don’t give her that look, she’s too SOBER to deal with the VK’s shit. 

- Even for an Islander, she puts things in as blunt and mean spirited as she can. She once told Gil when he was 8 and told her that his parents were going to have another baby, she told him ‘Fat chance, kid. With your mother’s hips and how much trouble babies give her, your father will kill her before he gets another baby out of her.’ 

- Because of all her time babysitting for them, Harriet talks to and listens in on the adults more than most. She occupies this weird place where she fits with the VKs and with the adults. Sometimes she uses this for both, telling them what the others had been saying. 

- A lot of the kids she used to babysit come to her for advice when they want someone older to help, but don’t want to talk to their parents. She’ll make them and grumble and complain about how she’s not their nanny and she was supposed to be free from these darn kids years ago and why do they come to HER for everything, god dammit. But after she’s done grumbling, she’ll help out. Usually after making them give her something.  

- When she’s really done with one of the other VKs, she takes a deep breath or clears her throat and then says very calmly “You’re a hateful child” or “You’re hateful children”. That is her way of saying ‘last warning’. If she’s screaming, yelling and swearing? It’s cool, keep pushing her buttons. If she does THAT? Sit down, shut up, and don’t do...whatever you did to annoy her. It’s NOT worth it. There will be consequences and you won’t like them. She once taped her brother to the ceiling for three days when he didn’t heed it. Their dad didn’t notice and she had to get him down. He’s listened to ‘You’re a hateful child’ since then. 

Harry Hook

- Harry has severe and undiagnosed dyscalculia, and so hasn’t learned to count. He might if he could get it diagnosed and get assistance for it, but how’s he gonna do that on the Isle? 

- Harry knows he’s got something wrong but he has no idea what. All he knows is something is wrong - those anger episodes are not normal. He is a little afraid of losing himself in that anger but he’s not sure what he could do about it. Any therapists on the isle are not therapists who should probably be trusted (if there are any). 

- Harry’s room is a mess but he always knows exactly where everything is. He keeps things where he can see them. It’s organized chaos. 

- Harry locks first years in their lockers regularly. 

- He is a real tool - don’t let him know you’re afraid of anything because he will use it against you. Not even in the more despicable ways, he’ll just troll with it, like yipping and barking at Carlos. 

- He is very much flirting with everyone a lot - the question is is this good flirting (he’s serious) or bad flirting (trying to make you uncomfortable or trying to lure you into a false sense of security). 

- He doesn’t sleep with an eye open (metaphorically) like some of the others on the Isle, but he hears EVERYTHING. Walking down the hall outside? He heard you. The whoosh of opening his port hole? Heard you. Tip toeing foot falls? Busted and he has his hook at your throat. 

- He works out - his arms will attest to that. 

- He’d rather get in big fights than little ones. Rumbles with rival gangs, three guys ambushing him, when people he’s shaking down for Uma fight back, it’s all good. 

- He’d probably be super fun at parties until fights break out at which point all bets are off. His calm and lucid moments tend to be best with Uma and his crew, not parties or bigger social spaces. He’s too trollish. 

CJ Hook

- CJ has a very eclectic mix of friends. She seems to have a penchant for people with magic though, such as Freddie and Zevon for example. 

- She’s always swinging from rigging, rafters, etc. She’ll find a place to swing from, wherever she is. 

- She’d rather have fun and adventures than feud with people specifically. If the Boreadonians are gonna party, she wants to watch the show. 

- She’s 15 during the time of the first movie, so about a year younger than Mal and co.

- CJ has sticky fingers with her sibling’s stuff - she regularly steals Harry’s stuff to piss him off. She always makes sure she gets Harriet’s stuff back before she realizes it’s missing because she likes not being throttled. Her favourite is to take his hook and make him do something or beg for it back. She steals from Hook too, but never for long and not very often. 

- Everybody sees how flashy and theatrical she is, but underestimate her. After all, surely she’d be too obvious to fool people and she has no patience. That’s usually when she sets her trap. People are so busy watching her do big, flashy things they miss the web she caught them in. 

- Never ever ever give her or loan her anything. You will not get it back. Ever. “This is mine now”. 

- She just takes eyeliner from her brother and other makeup from her sister. 

- If she doesn’t want to be found, you won’t find her. 

- She is very good at multitasking - she always has at lest 2 or 3 things going on. Mostly things that will be unpleasant and annoying if not actually super harmful for people. 

Captain Hook and Harriet

- Hook bragged about being the first to have a kid when she was born. 

- She was Hook’s pride and joy for the first 4 or 5 years of her life and if you asked him, he’d still claim she’s his favourite (though she’s not about to believe it - she knows full well it’s CJ). 

- When he feels like being ‘a father who teaches you things’ he’ll probably be with Harriet, showing her how to sail or be a captain. To date, she’s the only one of his kids he’s let steer the ship. 

- Unfortunately, Harriet also took the majority of his wrath, because she felt responsible for her kid siblings. She still has scars from knives, whips, his hook, and cigar burns to prove it. 

- He used to pick up books or anything else she could read while he was away for a few days. She’d read receipts if she had nothing else, so anything is good. He’s been known to brag about his ‘bloody smart’ daughter. 

- Hook is absolutely ignoring Harriet’s alcoholism. Go figure - he induced it in her, both by giving his six year old  hard liquor and by driving her to drink. 

- Harriet tried to move off the ship into her hideout a few years ago. When he found out, he acted very calm about it and told her he wouldn’t dream of taking out any frustration on her. Harriet thought she’d caught him on a good day. When she came back though, CJ had a black eye and Harry was clearly shaken. Hook told her he’d said he wouldn’t take any frustration on HER, but he couldn’t guarantee his temper around her siblings. She’d never been so angry as the moment she realized he would absolutely use her siblings who were like children to her to control her. 

- She sometimes steals his gun, for various reasons. She’s occasionally considered turning it on him...or on herself. But she’s got nobody to look out for her siblings so she’s not done that. 

- Captain Hook once feuded with Claude Frollo for half a year after he made Harriet uncomfortable while she was babysitting his daughter, Claudine. He didn’t hurt her, but the way he put his hands on Harriet’s shoulders too tightly and his tone creeped her out (while he was talking about how pirate’s lives were short when he was a law man) and she mentioned that to Hook. Nobody messes with Hook’s kids, so he asked her how she wanted him to answer this. She told him to scare them out of their minds. So he did. His crew would throw bottles, rocks, dirt, and all kinds of things at Frollo’s house, yell and jeer, break things,  insult and threaten his daughter, rattle swords, and sing very threatening pirate war songs. Finally, on the last night, Captain Hook came up to the front of the crowd and fired into the air and yelled “Frollo, I know what you did! Come out and die!” and fired again. Since that day, Claudine’s been afraid of pirates and especially Captain Hook and his children, Harriet’s not babysat for Frollo, and Harriet’s not sure what to make of this. On one hand, he took Harriet seriously and went to torment Frollo. On the other, was it because he cared about Harriet or because Frollo messed with Hook by messing with Harriet? And did he know what kind of man Frollo was when he told her to babysit for him in the first place? Hook would probably say it doesn’t matter - nobody threatens his kids. 

- Hook is proud of her for having her own crew, even if he doesn’t say it.

Captain Hook and Harry

- Hook likes to give his son a hard time for only being a first mate. “Why can’t you be more like your sisters?!” Which hurts Harry a lot. Turns out you can’t set yourself up as admirable and then tell your kids they don’t measure up. Who’da thought? He HATES disappointing his dad. 

- If Hook’s being honest, he forgets about Harry a lot. Most of the time he remembers he has a son, but not much more. He doesn’t even always remember his NAME. It’s not uncommon to hear Hook talk about ‘Harriet, CJ, and ....the other one’ or ‘the middle one’ or ‘the boy’. Harriet then reminds him of Harry’s name and Hook carries on like he’d used the name. 

- They don’t talk much unless Harry’s really messed up and Harriet wasn’t there to redirect Hook or when he specifically wants father-son time. 

- Harry very much wants his dad’s attention and for his dad to be proud of him. He does a lot to emulate him. He nicked one of his dad’s hooks and it’s his now. His dad was impressed he managed to get it and he was in a good mood, so sure, let the boy keep it. He doesn’t know Harry tried to get his hand bitten off because he hates that he still has both hands. Maybe that would be the kick in the ass he needed to be an actual decent dad. Or maybe he’d sink into denial and ignore Harry more - he denied that Harriet was an alcoholic because of him and that CJ avoids home for days on end because of him. 

- Those rage episodes Harry has are inherited from Hook, though Harry’s might be exacerbated by other mental illnesses or issues (I am not certain about what, as I would like more time to research various conditions). Hook recognizes them and sometimes he’ll have Harriet stick him in the brig until they’re done and then there will be consequences when they’re done (and his son will probably not like them). Or he’ll just leave the kid there until he remembers to come get him. He doesn’t know Uma can calm Harry down and probably wouldn’t care if he did. 

- Most of the time though, Harry isn’t being beaten or locked up - he’s simply ignored. That’s fine for Harry, he doesn’t need to take his dad’s temper like Harriet or avoid home because she doesn’t recognize it like CJ does. If it’s bad for him in particular, he can always hide out at Uma’s or Gil’s or the Lost Revenge. 

- There may be a rift in their future if there’s tension between Hook and Uma’s crews. Harry would never turn on Uma, but he doesn’t relish the idea of fighting his dad - he idolizes his dad! But even so, his dad should avoid threatening Harry’s crew, especially his captain. If Hook paid attention, he’d have noticed his son following Uma around, worshipping her, and nipped it in the bud when they were children. He hasn’t though, and Hook might live to regret that. 

- If you asked Hook, he’d profess to love his son. And, admittedly, because his mother and later Harriet protected him, Harry probably has quite a few decent memories with his dad (even if his dad doesn’t remember them). 

- Harry used to follow his dad around and listen to his stories about Neverland and Peter Pan

- Harry’s also the one Hook brings on the fishing trips for the shop the most. 

Captain Hook and CJ

- CJ is blatantly Hook’s favourite. He says she’s the most like him, and he spoils her as much as he can on the Isle. Harry and Harriet try not to let Hook see how much it annoys them - that’s not a reprisal they need. 

- She can get away with murder and all kinds of things the other kids or the crew would be scourged for. 

- She’s taken the least of his wrath, but she is not exempt. She sort of doubts her ability to tell when he’s in a bad mood that she can’t fix, so she tries to keep her distance. She likes to wander and annoy her friends. 

- When Hook feels like being an affectionate father, it’s a good guess he’ll be with CJ. 

- She used to hide when he was coming home from a fishing expedition and then jump out onto him to surprise him. She nearly gave Harriet a heart attack doing so, worried for his reaction, but Hook laughed and threw her in the air, saying ‘Hello, my hearty!’.

- When Hook is in a neutral mood or only a little bit of a bad mood, sometimes CJ can cheer him up. Sometimes if he’s in a bad mood, but not too bad, she’ll go up to him and give him a kiss on the cheek like she used to. 

- Most of his harm to CJ comes from threats and watching what he does to her siblings (and also being compared to them and himself, usually unfavourably).

- He’s also fairly stifling for CJ, frustrating her. He doesn’t let her steer a ship or keep a hideout because he is again, a controlling man who doesn’t like his kids having too many places to escape too. Besides, he ‘needs them’ for fishing. which is one thing for Harriet, who takes his anger and gets mad (and then drinks and sings with the crew) or Harry (who slips through the cracks) but CJ’s whole thing is relying on keeping her distance, so this is very annoying for her.

- CJ’s learned to read maps from him. She’s probably the best navigator out of her siblings. Hook says she has a nose for treasure.

- She’s a lot like him - scheming, manipulative, maniacal, and eager for adventure. Maybe that’s why she’s his favourite. Regardless, he sees himself in her and he’s fine serving as his baby girl’s mentor. 

Harriet and Harry

- When Harry was very little, he couldn’t pronounce “Harriet” properly (even though he had NO issues with “Harry”, Harriet was so mad). He called her “Hettie” instead. This went on until he was 8 or so (he’d long been able to say her name by then, but by that point she was ‘Hettie’ in his head). It went on until he annoyed her one day and because of that she slapped him and after that he called her Harriet. He only calls her Hettie now to annoy her. 

- Harriet used to use Mal’s feelings for Harry to get her to quit annoying her. She once told Mal if she didn’t quit being a pain, Harriet was showing Harry a picture of Mal with spinach in her teeth. She’s also threatened Harry with telling Mal embarrassing things. 

- Harry’s never been able to beat her in a sword fight. She always puts him flat on his ass. 

- Harriet thinks it’s hilarious watching Uma sabotage Harry flirting (not because Uma’s possessive or jealous, but because it’s funny as heck watching him get flustered and annoyed). Good job, Uma. 

- Harriet’s tried so hard to teach Harry to count but nothing ever worked. She despaired of his school years until he learned to cheat off Uma. 

- When Harry was very small, he used to crawl into her bed. He’d ask her not to tell Hook. She’d grumble about it and tell him he was too old for things like that (He was 4-6 but this is the Isle and this is the Hook’s family), but she’d let him and she wouldn’t tell their dad. The last thing she wanted was the consequences for it turning to her because she wasn’t going to let him dish them out to her little brother. 

- Harry really really doesn’t remember his mother. Even though he’s seen her picture, it doesn’t have any emotional connections for him. Mostly he can only imagine Harriet in that role. 

- She routinely drags him around by his ear and she can go on screaming rants for a long time about how frustrating he is or how stupid he’s been. When he was little, he was a cheeky little brat - he figured since CJ could sometimes calm down their dad this way, he could calm down Harriet by kissing her cheek and saying ‘Love you Hettie’. She almost throttled him - THAT’S NOT GOING TO WORK YOU LITTLE HELLION. And then she’d probably smack him upside the head and tell him not to do that anymore. 

- They both have really bad tempers and so when they fight, they go below the belt. She once told Harry she wished she was an only child and he told her he wanted to gut her half the time because Hook made a better parent. She told him he could deal with their dad himself then. They don’t apologize for things but after a few weeks they’d sit closer together in the mess hall and that’s good enough. 

- Harry isn’t really cognizant of just how much Harriet’s taken care of him (and CJ, but she might have an idea about that). He didn’t think about how she surely had homework she wasn’t doing when she spent a long time trying to teach him to count. He didn’t think about the fact he’s not seen her eat as much as he does because she’s always making sure he and CJ aren’t skipping meals (and he certainly doesn’t know she once stole their dad’s gun and threatened to send someone to hell to get Harry and CJ that food because business was slow and there was a food shortage). He doesn’t know she was redirecting their dad’s anger to her or that sometimes she was screaming at him to knock something off or dragging him around or smacked him to get him to do something because otherwise their dad would be FUCKING PISSED at him. He certainly wasn’t thinking about how, when their dad threatened Uma over some business dealing with Ursula, Harriet was holding him back and making him look at her instead of Uma not because he was being ‘weak’ or ‘annoying’ by yelling, but because she didn’t want their dad to get mad and also didn’t want him to watch if Hook really DID kill Uma (and ohhhhh, he hated her for holding him back). I’m not sure if he’d ever find out but maybe if he ever got some distance and got to think about it a lot, he might notice. 

Harriet and CJ

- CJ’s not quite sure about how she feels about Harriet in her head - one part of her brain says ‘sister’ and the other part says ‘mother’ and she’s not sure which is right. 

- When Harriet wanted CJ to shut up one day, when CJ was very little, she told CJ she’d braid a bead in her hair as a celebration for her first successful theft. It’s never hit CJ that Harriet just wanted her to sit down and shut up and quit annoying her - all she knows is when she does something impressive, like get a big score, Harriet braids a bead in her hair and the beads are pretty. 

- CJ’s favourite thing to do as a toddler was give Harriet heart attacks. She had to find the biggest thing in the area and climb it and swing from it. Harriet says she’s had grey in her hair ever since CJ was born. She hasn’t but it’s never stopped CJ from trying. 

- Sometimes CJ will stay in Harriet’s room with her, when Harriet’s drunker than usual and she’s scared Harriet will get alcohol poisoning. 

- These two fight all the time. Sometimes over silly things like makeup and sometimes over big things like piracy. 

- CJ routinely gets Harriet’s crew in her traps - both to test them for Harriet and sometimes to annoy her and sometimes to ‘punish’ her for crossing her in some way (real or imagined). 

- Sometimes when Harriet’s decided CJ’s been gone too long, she’ll drag her back by her hair and she doesn’t really care how much CJ doesn’t want to be at home unless their dad or brother is on a rampage. 

- Harriet actually gave CJ her first taste of alcohol. CJ was seven and had a fever, so Harriet gave her some bourbon. It worked (or they thought it worked) and she felt better and so when daddy gave her some rum a few months later, it went down easier. 

- Harriet’s temper puts CJ on the defensive all the time. CJ’s blaise attitude pisses off Harriet. These two haven’t worked an equilibrium out yet and they’ve occasionally fought physically. 

- CJ’s childhood screwed with Harriet’s education massively. She entered school late and was held back because she was busy dealing with toddler CJ. It’s not come up much, but Harriet sometimes wants to strangle CJ for it. 

Harry and CJ

- Harry calls her ‘Callista Jane’ just to piss her off. Pissing her off is his favourite thing to do with his little sister. 

- CJ’s favourite thing to steal is his hook. She’s also quite fond of rearranging his things, and breaking into his room just because he locked it or told her not to come in. He likes to tease her about crocodiles. 

- The only reason Harry hasn’t punted her through a wall for going through his stuff is because she’s his baby sister. Something about her being the baby stuck. It’s never stopped him from threatening her, hurting her friends, or bullying the heck out of her though. 

- The two of them used to play together most of the time when they were really really little. Harriet was a bit old for their games but they were always right smack in the proper age range. It made for some good fun before CJ started hanging out with Freddie and Zevon and before Harry had Uma and Gil. 

- These two are always making fun of each other for their romantic interests or trying to ‘warn them off’ because their sibling is the worst. There’s no sibling protectiveness here. They’re just making fun. 

- Harry gives CJ a surprising amount of brotherly advice. Now granted, most of that advice is phrased as ‘Do this/Don’t do this or I’ll *insert threat here*” but still. Call him a softy (no, don’t, he WILL hook you). 

- Harry and his friends used to go around annoying and bullying the heck out of CJ and her friends. 

- When they were still relatively young (think like 8-12) CJ would come up to Harry and his friends to try to get them to play with her. CJ’s games are manipulative and often not fun for anyone but her, so he’d try to refuse. CJ is always wiling to boss him around though and she does not care - Dad/Harriet (take your pick) said you would so GET OVER HERE HARRY. Sometimes they’d have fun together but most of the time Harry wants to strangle her. 

- Neither of them have any impulse control - don’t let them get in trouble together, they will egg each other on and escalate to all hell. 

- Harry worries about her in Auradon a non-zero amount. Most of the time he plays it off like he’s glad he has some peace and quiet. Sometimes he really is glad she’s not there to annoy him. Sometimes he’s fine because he knows she can handle herself. Sometimes he doesn’t care. Sometimes he wants to kick her around a little and annoy her. And sometimes he just plain misses her and worries about her and would do anything to have her home with him again WHO SAID THAT?

[judahfoqd138]

Crazy Bulk Review - House Facebook

On March seventeen, 2005, there was a congressional Listening to about BALCO. BALCO is found in California. BALCO is actually a diet Heart which has been identified to distribute steroids to these kinds of gamers' as Barry Bonds, Jose Canseco, and Jason Giambi. There have been 5 gamers summoned to testify in front of Congress; Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Jose Canseco, and Curt Schilling. During this era, Bond's trainer, Greg Anderson and BALCO head Victor Conte, were not subpoenaed in California by the home Committee for investigation. I feel that Greg Anderson and Victor Conte must have been subpoenaed, because they experienced this kind of large role from the involvement of steroids in baseball. Once the Listening to was over congress pressured baseball and the most important League Baseball Players Association to begin implementing stricter regulations and to have a zero tolerance coverage in correspondence to general performance maximizing medicine (Wikipedia). To illustrate the lesser penalties, in 2004, the policy consisted of; to start with favourable test resulted in a suspension of 10 video games, a second good test resulted inside of a suspension of 30 games, the 3rd optimistic exam resulted inside a suspension of sixty video games, the fourth favourable test resulted in a very suspension of one full yr, and also a fifth beneficial check resulted in a penalty in the commissioner's discretion. Gamers had been examined at least when every year, with the possibility that quite a few players could be tested repeatedly annually. In 2005 the penalties ended up toughened; a primary constructive examination would end in a fifty activity suspension, a next optimistic check would cause 100 video game suspension, and a third favourable exam would cause a life time suspension from MLB (Bodley 1).

Anabolic Steroids have main scientific Negative effects on the human body; the detrimental outcomes that steroids have on the body needs to be the most crucial the reason why baseball bans gamers from using them. Here are all of the health concerns that a participant will have to manage sometime or A further during and after the use of steroids. You'll find potent indications that tumors from the liver are brought about in the event the anabolic steroids have a 17-alpha-alkyl team. Also anabolic steroids may well result in hepatic carcinoma. A popular facet influence of AS in males is breast formation (gynecomastia). Gynecomastia is attributable to amplified amounts of circulating estrogens, that are typical woman sexual intercourse hormones. The vast majority of investigations have already been focused on danger things for cardiovascular illnesses, and in particular the effect of anabolic steroids on blood pressure level and on plasma lipoproteins. Anabolic steroid end users could turn out to be dependent on the drug, with indications of withdrawal after cessation of drug use. The withdrawal indicators encompass aggressive and violent behavior, psychological depression with suicidal behavior, temper alterations, and in some instances acute psychosis. Steroids also have some Unwanted effects that are not as terrible. They can be untimely balding or hair decline, dizziness, mood swings, which includes anger, aggression, and melancholy, believing items that aren't real (delusion), Extraordinary feelings of mistrust or panic (paranoia), challenges sleeping, nausea and vomiting, trembling, higher hypertension that may hurt the center or blood vessels over time, aching joints, higher probability of injuring muscles and tendons, jaundice or yellowing of the pores and skin; liver damage, urinary problems, shortening of ultimate Grownup top, and enhanced possibility of establishing cardiovascular disease, stroke, and a few varieties of most cancers (downshen).

Don't just can steroids be hazardous to the human overall body, nevertheless the injection of steroids is equally as unsafe. The mostly way players get injected are as a result of needles. Steroids should be taken two or 3 times each week, This is why injecting steroids is so essential mainly because it transpires so usually. You can find three main spots where by steroids are injected; the butt, the shoulder, and the thigh. These a few sections are classified as the safest portions of the body to inject steroids given that they give a big region wherever the needle is usually injected securely Injecting steroids the incorrect way can result in main medical problems. By far the most notable illnesses are HIV and Aids. Athletes can get these diseases by possibly sharing needles or not cleansing the needle correctly (Steroid).

Steroids pose an unfair gain for gamers that use them. They assist athletes get stronger, run faster, and pitch more powerful. https://medium.com/@jameslclear/testogen-review-what-is-it-how-does-it-work-price-where-to-buy-ingredients-pros-and-cons-86d56464a295 A well known athlete Evander Holyfield claimed "Properly, when I think of steroids I imagine an image. You've the benefit more than an individual, that is a kind of cheating. I assume it would not be right Unless of course it absolutely was authorized for everyone. Reason it isn't really lawful for everyone is because it can damage folks significantly (Brainy Quote)." With steroids, players have damaged data that individuals imagined would never be broken. Barry Bonds broke the home operate record for most dwelling operates inside of a season. Baseball columnists say "the history mustn't depend because Bonds broke it employing steroids". To be a youthful child rising up playing baseball, I utilized to search for to Barry Bonds. I acquired his jersey, gathered all his baseball playing cards, and made an effort to enjoy all his games. Ever due to the fact steroids popped up encompassing him, I don't like him any more. I cannot lookup to anyone that makes use of steroids. I can also not search for to someone that in my opinion cheated for getting below he is at. He has misplaced lots of enthusiasts due to the steroids scenario surrounding him. I have lost a huge amount of respect for Bonds as a player and as a person. A further baseball player which has utilized steroids to his edge was Ken Caminiti. He has mentioned that he gained the 1996 NL MVP Award though on steroids (Wikipedia). I do not imagine that Ken's MVP Award need to be taken away mainly because he achieved the award before any one new that baseball gamers ended up using steroids. Experienced baseball players that use steroids are terrible position models in the direction of youthful Young ones actively playing baseball. It tells Little ones that it's alright to work with steroids to boost your efficiency or cheat. When young Little ones use steroids, it destroys their bodies a great deal more rapidly than it will a developed man. It destroys their bodies in this sort of ways that can wipe out their athletic Occupations for at any time. Steroid problems may end up if they build imbalances in the human body. In younger Little ones steroids build muscle mass mass so swiftly, the rest of the overall body can not regulate immediately more than enough. You have an incredible increase in muscle mass, but the connective tissue would not capture up. The tendons and ligaments are usually not solid enough, leading to this kind of accidents as ligament tears. Knees are a typical victim of overdeveloped muscles. Knee injuries may perhaps contain a fracture from the femur, the bone connecting the hip to your knee. If the fracture has an effect on the epiphyseal plate, the location where by new bone basically grows, the human body will mature a bony bridge over the plate, stunting development in that leg. The opposite leg will keep on rising, resulting in unequal leg length as the kid matures. Whilst other steroid-induced joint injuries may possibly mend better than this, joints are by no means pretty the same all over again (Brandser). As a admirer of the game, I think players using steroids choose clear of the integrity of the sport. It is not the way baseball really should be performed. Ryan Sandberg, a Corridor Of Fame baseball player agrees with me when he stated "We do have a problem in baseball, and using steroids is not really respecting the sport (Brainy Quote)."

Steroids have manufactured a giant effect on the sport of baseball. Currently, a number of baseball gamers have already been applying steroids to enhance their muscles as well as their overall performance. Greats like Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, and Lou Gherig failed to have to have improvement medicines to interrupt documents. They have been fantastic with no needles Whilst now, steroids appear to be Virtually a necessity for some players. The use of steroids is providing Major League Baseball a nasty name. Damaged information prior to now fifteen years could be blamed on steroids. Because of steroid use, the sports tempo has modified greatly. Additional homeruns are already hit plus more documents have already been damaged. Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa are three from the players associated with The most celebrated history chases: The one time house operate champ. There is not any coincidence that each one three players are less than evaluation for steroid use. Another excuse why gamers are inclined to use steroids is simply because they will generate far better stats which In the end can get them greater salaries. The gamers I mentioned in the beginning of the paragraph; Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, and Lou Gherig played the game with regard. They may be proof that an athlete is usually during the Corridor Of Fame with out using steroids. They may be the gamers that gave the game integrity and now the players which might be utilizing steroids are taken it absent. The players that do not use steroids tend to be the players that younger kids ought to look up to, not the ones that use steroids. As a major supporter of baseball, I love to see gamers do well with out having to use steroids. Stadiums are shedding dollars simply because a lot less and less lovers are coming to observe the games at the ball parks. They instead continue to be at your house and watch steroid athletes Enjoy than waste money to go check out them play.

Steroids have existed in sporting activities for many years. It was not until eventually 2004 that steroids are becoming such a large challenge. Steroids are killing the integrity of the game. Lots of the big time gamers in Main League Baseball that individual information have been capable to achieve Those people documents due to the usage of steroids, and that's not appropriate. There have been a great deal of athletes that kids look up to that have accomplished their plans by not working with steroids. Those tend to be the athletes that we really should be hearing about during the information, not those that cheat. Steroids give an unfair edge to the individuals that make use of them. It makes them run more rapidly, soar higher, and pitch speedier. An important matter about using steroids is the fact that it destroys One's body. Not merely are steroids dangerous nevertheless the injection of steroids is equally as risky. Given that the indicating goes "cheaters never acquire," and Along with the new limitations they won't.

Maybe you have listened to about steroids being used by athletes like baseball players, cyclists, human body builders to boost their athletic performance. You have most likely wondered what a steroid was also. Properly an anabolic steroid can be a steroid, such as testosterone, that induces muscle development. It is additionally outlined as any purely natural or artificial compounds that contains a 17-carbon four-ring.

Steroids are prescribed topically for eczema, inhaled for bronchial asthma, and injected for joint and muscle problems. Some even choose steroids orally for other professional medical explanations. The steroid is surely an anti- inflammatory medication that may be absorbed because of the inflamed nerves to lessen swelling and decrease tension. When given by mouth or intravenously, the steroid is absorbed and deposited all through the human body by the blood stream. Each time systemic steroid is made use of, any an infection should be looked for and treated promptly since it suppresses the immune process.

The commonest method of steroid is definitely the anabolic steroid. An anabolic steroid is defined as any group of artificial derivatives of testosterone that promote muscle and bone progress. Anabolic Steroid would be the familiar title for artificial substances associated with the male intercourse hormones (androgens). For toughness and muscle mass gains, this anabolic steroid is rather helpful. The people of steroids want to enhance the anabolic outcomes and reduce the androgenic results, but no steroid is known to acquire just anabolic consequences. In the feminine, steroids will decrease the voice and lead to facial hair expansion, as the steroid is a testosterone derivative.

There are many unsafe Unwanted effects to steroid use for sports. Use of steroids and not using a medical professional's treatment is not a good idea. If you need to build energy and muscle, a much better guess could be to utilize authorized steroids which might be plant derived which include Mesobolin.