#t post

[jesusology]

[noratami]

“these last few days have been a nightmare, maybe I should go back to tumblr to change the routine a bit”

*sees poll meme invasion*

nvm this place does manage  to get worse and worse everytime.

[rivetgoth]

It's honestly crazy that discussion around testosterone HRT skews so much towards the beginning stages of it (to the point that you have dozens of guys thinking their transition is "failed" if they don't pass by like a year in lol) and what the initial changes of the first couple of months to years look like, like the classic laundry list of those early basic changes like bottom growth, voice drop, etc, when IMO literally none of that compares remotely to the depth and intensity of the long term total masculinization you start to experience like 3-5+ years in.

[grimaldiapologist]

Hey, what if I actually wrote here for a change?

So, talked with my partner today, and I ended up saying a lot more than I think I've ever told anyone in one go. It wasn't one thing, it was like... all of them, almost chronologically, and what the fuck is that, even.

And I felt so beaten up after. So fucked up and physically ill for it. And I'm worried about that, even though I'm feeling better by now (it's been, what, eight hours?) because last time I felt this raw and like... to the left of where I'm supposed to be, like something's knocked me a foot off my roots, we landed in a horrible fibro flare. And I felt guilty for that and I feel guilty for that and it feels like I do something wrong when I do that. So now I'm kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, which makes no sense, because all I did was be honest with someone I love and who loves me in return, I guess. I hope, anyway.

And then, being as I am, I used my special little magic trick to turn off inner comms so he can't get back to me, because I was scared and I was hurting. So he pulled up Simply Plural and flooded my chat with reassurance that I couldn't hear from him directly: that I'm loved, mostly. That I don't need to hide, but if I feel safer doing that, it's okay, and to take care of myself, reminding me to get a nice warm drink, watch some videos or whatever, just get back to "normal" from that weird place I put myself in.

It's funny, getting texts from yourself. But like... just the content of that. Even though I basically walked out of the door and hung up on him out of fear, just the fact that he'll pick up the channel I've left open and send me all of that. I don't know. I feel so weird about all of this. I'm so not ready or able to have this kind of - like. I don't know how to let people be there for me. And it hurts so much to be in that place between being alone and letting others be there too. I have such a hard time moving on from what I've come to believe and these things that I've just accepted as facts even though I don't even know when that happened and maybe rationally, none of it makes sense. A lot of it is just magical thinking, plain and simple.

But yeah. Even writing here feels weird, but at least here I can be honest about the dynamics present. I don't have to act like I physically walked out of a door, because it wasn't that, though that's exactly what it felt like to me. And, I mean, I did kind of physically walk out of a door, now that I think of it. We were sitting in bed and I left the bedroom and in some ways I left him there and just went off on my own. I don't know. It's weird. But I also wish that I could talk about this somewhere that wasn't just reserved for. Like. I don't know. I just wish I was in a situation that even resembled normalcy so I didn't have to excuse the way that my world works every time I open my mouth, or have to worry about people reading it and going, oh so you're just talking make-believe then? I wish people got it or even tried to understand or whatever.

Even "trying to" understand cuts short, really. I just want to be understood and I don't want to feel ashamed for talking about it, or have people "getting on my level" the same way they "get on the level" of a scared kid. Guess that's off-topic for where I started, though, and I don't know if any of this made any sense anyway. I just miss being me in a way that makes sense.

[spicybeefu]

What if Pokemon & Animal Crossing had a crossover game? #20 Made in Blender - Pumpkaboo design by @omuart

[planefood]

rules for thee and not for me

[yuribeam]

for whoever needs to hear this:

starting HRT doesn't have to be a huge momentous all-or-nothing decision. you can just try it like you would an antidepressant you've been informed of the risks of.

there won't be any immediate irreversible changes overnight. you can always stop, change your dose, change your delivery system, decide it's not the right time. you can even microdose if you want to.

you don't have to tell anyone. you don't have to announce it if you don't want to.

stop waiting for a perfect time in your life because it won't come.

stop waiting to reach a mythical level of certainty that never comes to anyone, for anything.

you've been thinking about it long enough. if you have the opportunity, just give it a shot. you're worth the courage it takes to make a change in your life.

[starberry-cupcake]

'the ultimate computer' aka uncannily precise vision of the future in which starfleet wants to replace jim with ai but spock and bones are not having it

I am going feral at all the times ai is being a menace in this show and how accurate it is to the bs present we're living in

[forecast0ctopus]

AN-TI-BO-DIES

[shigeoreum]

legends say jimothy t. kirk imploded gay style after the 7th trial in mr spock’s transfer-proof lippie experiment

[mysticalcats]

da crew

[jesusology]

connor should be giving the eulogy for the funeral, and it can go like;

Hello. I'm here as a fellow human to acknowledge that Logan has, as we know, passed on. Logan was a man. Also, Logan was CEO of the Waystar company for over 40 years. And when a man dies, it is sad. All of us will die one day. In this case, it is Logan who has done so. Logan was alive for 82 years. But no more. Now he is dead. Logan’s wife is Marcia. They were married for years. Now she is sad.

[shitbl0gger]

[gracefuldisasters]

The lighting be giving mad scientist vibes.

Phineas has a teleportation pad. Where he gonna go?

[grimaldiapologist]

This isn't an urgen concern or something that's coming out of a present situation of feeling the worst ever,

but like, with chronic illness, how are you supposed to know when something's an actual emergency? There's a new "this is the worst I've ever felt" with frightening symptoms of impending doom at least three times a year, and it's never anything. It's never anything and going to the urgent care for it just wastes everyone's time.

How the fuck are you supposed to know which "feeling the worst you've ever felt" is the one?

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT text)

continuing with the whole... cleaning up and posting old sketches from the beginning of this year

you may also like: zuko, sokka, ty lee, the SEA (khmer) and japan inspired ones are based on @ranilla-bean fic the iconoclast.

(i think its the last one i have)