#sweet boy.. sunshine child... summer kid..... my heart

[damianbugs]

UGHHRHRRAAAH.... LITTLE DUKE THOMAS (my insane person powers explodes everything within a five mile radius)

[kamaluhkhan]

all the love we had and lost

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: lots of plot + flashbacks. angst with fluff in betweem. slightly suggestive dialogue/situations but nothing more than the actual show, a guy being pushy about hooking up with reader but nothing happens, mention of injuries and blood throughout, hints of alcoholism, brief mention of dieting (reader is competitive swimmer and deals with certain pressures from that), reader gets her period, takes on too much responsibility and argues with her mother (aka eldest daughter syndrome)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije,

a/n: thank you thank you thank you for so much love on my first conrad fic!! i'm so excited to share the rest of the series, so stay tuned :))

read part one here

the best friends of our childhoods are the loves of our lives, and they break our hearts in the worse ways. (fredrik backman)

now — summer, age 18

you throw in some extra sprinkles, along with a few more tablespoons of sugar. belly has a huge sweet tooth. it's the night before her birthday, and you're in the kitchen at the fisher's house baking her coconut confetti cupcakes. 

born on june 21st — the summer solstice — belly conklin is the definition of a summer child. she's summer, personified: sunshine, sweet tea, sand, and smiles. having missed so many birthday celebrations, you’re determined to make this year special.

you go to the fridge to grab some eggs, and when you close the door, you're startled by the person standing behind it.

"what are you doing here?" you ask, holding a hand to your chest and setting the carton of eggs on the counter. the joy you felt making birthday cupcakes for belly fades away, replaced with a tingling in your chest. you and conrad hadn’t spoken more than three sentences to each other, or even been in the same room alone, since that morning on the beach. as the distance between the two of you grew, so did your frustration at him. 

conrad raises his eyebrow at you. he reaches around you into the fridge and pulls out a beer. 

"i should be asking you that." 

"the oven at my house is broken and your mom said i could come over."

“i’ve heard that one before,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen. you almost can’t believe he brought it up, even if just in a passing, somewhat snarky remark. conrad probably thought you didn’t hear.

these past few weeks, conrad hasn't just been cold towards you — which was a relief as much as it was heart wrenching. he seems more closed off in general, more inclined to spend time with others who hadn't seen him grow up. in fact, you imagine he’s on his way to see nicole now. maybe with her, he can pretend everything is fine. but not with the people in this house, who knew him inside and out.

you would never admit it — if conrad wants to ignore you, you could ignore him just fine — but it was eating you up inside, and it took everything in you not to confront him, to comfort him about whatever he was going through. you’d have arguments when you were kids, but it was nothing a ring pop or tub of cherry jello couldn’t solve. this time is different; the wound is deeper, harder to heal.

you wanted the old conrad back: the sweet boy who cared for you and let you care for him in return. 

then — summer, age 14

belly was turning 12, and you wanted to surprise her with homemade cupcakes for breakfast. only, the oven at your house was broken, which meant your intention of baking her birthday treats would have fallen through, if not for susannah’s ever-present generosity. 

everyone else was out of the house — you even asked laurel and susannah to take belly shopping to not ruin the surprise. you were decorating the cupcakes when conrad walked in from the deck. his wet hair stuck to his forehead and he was wearing a rash guard, so he probably got back from surfing. he looked paler than usual, even after being in the sun for hours, but you didn’t think much of it at first.

“hey,” he greeted, sounding slightly out of breath. “what are you doing here?” 

“the oven at my house is broken, so your mom said i can come over to bake these for belly’s birthday tomorrow.” you gestured at the clumsily decorated treats. the cupcakes had bright pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles. you weren’t a professional by any means, but knew that belly would love them.

“but i’m sure she wouldn’t miss one or two, if you wanna try one,” you offered, smiling at conrad.

he smiled back, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “yeah. yeah, let’s do that. i’m just gonna get changed first.”

conrad walked past you, and that’s when you noticed him limping — along with a bloody gash just below his left knee.

you instantly dropped the spatula back into the half-empty frosting bowl.

“connie, what the hell happened?”

“i’m fine,” he answered. “i wiped out, got cut by the fin of my board.” conrad must have noticed your eyes widened with worry because he grabbed your wrist gently, thumb rubbing soothingly on your pulse point. he was bleeding out on the kitchen floor, and there he was, trying to make sure you were okay. 

“i’m fine,” he reassured. 

the blood dripping down his leg suggested otherwise. years ago conrad would faint at the sight of blood, and though he’d mostly outgrown that, you knew it still made him queasy. you imagined the pain definitely wasn’t making it easier. without another word, you pulled him into the bathroom and made him sit on the edge of the bathtub. you washed your hands then sat cross-legged in front of him.

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” he smirked as he watched you gather supplies from the cabinet underneath the sink, your brows furrowed in concentration.

“what?” you paused, almost laughing. until you saw his wound again, and you got back to work.

“it’s from the hunger games,” he explained. “when katniss finds peeta in the arena? and he’s all, like, injured.”

“well, he was definitely in worse shape than you,” you assured. “your cut’s not that deep, it just looks bad.”

“it doesn’t feel great, either.”

conrad exhaled sharply when you started applying pressure to his leg with a damp washcloth. you placed your other hand on his right knee.

“it’ll be fine, connie. i’ve got you. keep your eyes on me, okay?”

he looked down at you, wet hair framing his face as he offered a short nod. 

you gestured at him to take over, and your fingers brushed together when he grabbed the washcloth, but he never looked down. his eyes still followed you as you searched the bathroom for something to cover his wound.

a comfortable silence followed. the two of you used to spend hours talking, sure, but what you loved about spending time with conrad is that silence didn't bother him. you could each be in your own worlds while in the comfort of each other's company, and that was enough.

once the wound was cleaned and the bleeding slowed down, you placed a gauze pad over his cut before wrapping a cloth bandage around it.

“i’m pretty sure it’s ‘you here to finish me off, sweetheart?’,” you remembered.

conrad shook his head. “i’m pretty sure it’s not. i’ve read the book like, three times.”

you move to sit next to him on the edge of the tub.

“how sure are you, connie? because i’m pretty damn sure.”

conrad shrugged. “i’m pretty damn sure, too.” 

you rolled your eyes, but with a smile. “okay, fine. we’ll check. but, when you see how wrong you are, you have to come with me to see jaws 2.” it was playing at the local movie theatre during their weekly throwback thursday — you and belly had seen it advertised on your way home from getting ice cream. you had wanted to ask conrad, but couldn’t find the right time.

because you hadn’t meant it to be a date, but you also hadn’t not meant it to be. something changed about how you felt towards conrad that summer; or, maybe, you just figured out what was different about the love you felt towards him compared to everyone else. 

(yes, love. again, something you would never admit.)

you thought maybe — maybe he felt it too. there was something different in the way he teased you, laughed with you, looked at you when he thought you couldn’t notice.

you did notice. it happened so much that eventually you decided that either it was all in your head and he didn’t love you that way, or he was also scared of what would happen if he did. which, to be fair, was the position you were in. you were very scared of what would happen if you crossed that line.

“i’ll agree to that,” conrad said. “if you agree to having a picnic with me on the beach. if i have to face my fear of sharks, then you have to face your fear of angry seagulls stealing your food.”

a picnic on the beach. you wondered if this was conrad’s way of subtly asking you on a date. did he also want to cross that line, become something other than friends? he looked at you so eagerly, you hoped he did.

“fine.” you held out your hand. “but you have to protect me from angry seagulls.”

conrad smiled at you brightly as he grasped your hand. 

“always.” 

in the end, conrad lost the bet. the screening of jaws 2 was cancelled, so you rented it from the video store instead. you got his favourite movie snacks, and some of yours as well, and made sure the couch had the comfiest pillows and the warmest blanket. you felt butterflies just thinking about the two of you watching together, cuddling on the couch. 

when the time came though, your plans fell through. the playdates your siblings had lined up both cancelled. your mother had plans to meet a friend at the bar, and claimed she couldn't reschedule. by then your parents were divorced and your father was elsewhere with his new girlfriend, so it fell to you to babysit your siblings.

conrad came over anyway: he helped you make rice and lentils for dinner, convinced your brother to eat his vegetables, and let your sister paint his nails. the four of you watched night at the museum and ate all the junk food you had gotten, with you and conrad sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but stealing glances and shy smiles at each other. when your mother came home, a bit after midnight and a little tipsy, she got angry that you’d kept the twins up so late and cheated on the diet she had so carefully planned for you — to keep you in shape for swimming, she claimed. you rolled your eyes, and that made her angrier. without you saying anything, conrad took the twins upstairs to get ready for bed as you and your mother argued. by the time conrad walked back downstairs, your mother had gone into the living room for another drink and you were in tears. he asked if you were okay, and you told him to go home.

you never talked about that night again, and everything went back to the way it was: with neither of you crossing that line.

now

the only reason you let belly drag you to nicole’s party is because it’s her birthday. 

as soon as you enter the house, nicole and the other debutantes whisk belly away to a table filled with elaborate cakes. you can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed by how elegant they look in comparison to the cupcakes you made her. 

"come on," taylor groans. "let's get a drink."

taylor grabs two beers and hands one to you. you gratefully accept. the two of you catch up for a bit, when suddenly jeremiah starts serenading belly in an outrageously funny musical number. you laugh along with them, until you catch a glimpse of conrad with nicole on the couch at the other end of the room. nicole is sitting in conrad's lap, and she leans over to whisper something in his ear before kissing his cheek. your entire body heats up.

conrad was right before: you were jealous. as frustrated as you were with him, you were even angrier at yourself for feeling that way. 

"i’m gonna go find the bathroom!” taylor says, practically shouting over the music. 

"okay!” you yell back. “i’m gonna go get another drink." 

you know all too well that it isn’t a good habit to get into, but you need something stronger if you’re going to survive this party. you examine the drink table, finally picking out some mediocre tequila. you take a shot, then another.

“tequila. my kind of girl.” someone declares, creeping up behind you. 

it’s a terrible pick up line, and you already have a feeling that the guy trying to flirt with you is some rich entitled asshole. 

but, the guy — liam — can hold a decent conversation, and he’s cute enough.

he’s no conrad, though. you take another shot when that thought crosses your mind, and force yourself to flirt with leo. liam. right, liam.

liam leans in close, pretends to listen to you, lets his gaze linger on the deep v-neck of your shirt. you’re so close, you can smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“five minutes,” you boast after he asks how long you can hold your breath underwater. somehow, the conversation veered towards your time as a competitive swimmer. you’re just the right amount of tipsy that your inhibitions start fading away.

“wow,” liam says. “i have to say, i’m glad you didn’t have that training camp this summer.”

you bat your eyelashes at him. “oh? why is that?” you lean closer, trailing a finger down his chest.

“because then i wouldn’t be able to do this.” 

liam kisses you then, and you kiss back. he slides his tongue in your mouth, runs his hands over your body. you feel nothing. it’s fine.

“let's go upstairs.”

liam’s grabbing your wrist before you have a chance to answer. as he tries to tug you up the stairs, your eyes meet conrad’s from across the room.

suddenly, you feel nauseous. you rip away from liam’s grip and place a hand on the wall next to you to steady yourself.

liam turns around sharply. “what is it?”

“i changed my mind, actually. let’s just hang out downstairs.”

liam grabs your wrist again, his grip tighter than before. “don’t be a tease.” 

this time, your voice comes out louder. “i just changed my mind. that doesn’t make me a tease.”

“don’t be a bitch, then,” he scoffs, and you’re this close to breaking this guy’s nose. “do you wanna fuck, or not?”

“i don’t,” you answer instantly, struggling to break free from his grip. 

“okay, whatever. we don’t have to go all the way, but we can still go upstairs, and have a good time.”

he manages to drag you up two steps as you strain against his iron grip, now almost cutting off your circulation. your heartbeat quickens and you feel dizzy. finally, you grab onto the railing for leverage, forcing liam to stop in his tracks.

“what is it now?” he groans.

“just stop, liam.”

“listen,” he starts, speaking to you almost mockingly, like you’re a naive little girl. “i know what girls want, so you don’t have to be shy. we’re going upstairs right now and —”

“liam, is it?” the rest of the party is in full motion, but here’s belly, giving liam one of the most intense death stares you’ve ever seen. belly, who if you cut open, would bleed sugar. “i’m gonna have to ask you to let go of my friend.”

“whatever,” liam answers, rolling his eyes. “if you don’t mind, we’re kinda in the middle of something.” he tries to move you forward, but you stand your ground.

jeremiah is also glaring at liam from the bottom of the stairs, his golden retriever personality long gone. “back off, man,” he warns.

“just mind your own business,” liam snaps.

“they said leave her alone,” steven asserts, walking over once he sees what’s happening. “and you don’t wanna mess with us, trust me.” he clenches his hand into a fist as if proving a point.

in other situations, you and belly have definitely teased steven for his tendency to act all tough, but right now, you couldn’t be more grateful.

“who the fuck are you? her bodyguards?” 

“just let her go,” belly orders. 

“i think she can speak for herself. she wants this, but if you’re jealous, you can join, too.” 

your stomach churns. liam leans in close to whisper in your ear. “maybe we’ll see if those 5 minutes come in handy when you’re sucking my —”

as soon as liam lets go of your wrist, his hand trailing downward, you shove him away and punch him in the nose before he can finish his sentence. you deliver a final blow to liam’s ego as he’s doubled over:

“what i want is for you to leave us the fuck alone. there are other people in this house who i’d rather hook up with. people who aren’t complete assholes with fancy cars to compensate for their tiny dick.”

the flirtatious smile falls from liam’s face, replaced with the kind of anger only rich entitled assholes have when they don’t get what they want — figures that he only gets the hint when it literally hits him right in the nose. he’s angry enough to deliver a punch right back to your face. 

you hear a crack upon impact, and pain radiates from your nose. you fall down the stairs, but belly manages to catch you before you hit the ground. she holds you as jeremiah and steven step in front. you hear them shouting at liam over the music, but their exact words don’t register.

you lick your lips, tasting blood. your ears are ringing, and the room is suddenly all fuzzy.

“i’ve got her.” conrad’s calm and measured voice cuts through the chaos. you feel a strong, familiar arm wrap around your waist. “go find cam — the rest of us have been drinking, but he can drive her home.”

somehow, you find yourself in a bathroom, sitting on the counter as conrad stands between your legs. he carefully examines your injury, but you notice how he avoids making eye contact. 

you feel your head spinning all over again. maybe it’s the alcohol, or the adrenaline, or the fact that the two of you haven’t been this close in a while — probably a dangerous mix of all three. 

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” the question slips past your lips before you could stop it.

conrad looks slightly amused, and he finally meets your gaze. “that’s not the line,” he deadpans. you know (from trying not to but ultimately not being able to pull your attention away from him all night) that he’s had a few drinks as well; it seems like the two of you ignore each other best when you’re sober.

but, still, he remembers. his comment earlier and his smile right now is all the confirmation you need: somewhere in the back of his mind, he replays memories of you. no matter how cold he acts towards you, he still cares.

he continues wiping the blood off your face. “how’s your hand?” he asks.

you flex your fingers, inspect your hand. “it’s been better,” you answer, though your knuckles are slightly aching. “worth it.”

“i guess all those years away made you a badass.”

all those years away. the reminder feels like a stab to the heart, but you wouldn’t let it burst the comfortable bubble you and conrad had somehow stumbled into. 

instead, you offer him a lopsided smile.

“oh, connie,” the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. “i was always a badass.”

“yeah, yeah. but it’s different now. you’re different.” he pauses. you’re worried he’s going to say something else. 

but he doesn’t. instead, he asks, jokingly: “did you join a fight club or something?” 

you take that as a good sign: like you, he’s trying to preserve the playfulness between you before everything else seeps in and ruins it, before you’re brought back to the present, where you’re both heartbroken and not talking to each other. 

“you know the first rule of fight club —”

“don’t talk about fight club,” you finish together. 

conrad laughs, even though it’s not that funny. you laugh, too. 

a silence falls over you, one that’s not unfamiliar, but not entirely comfortable either. conrad holds the cloth against your nose to make sure the bleeding stopped. 

it seemed to be a strange pattern between you two — being there for each other when you bleed.

then — summer, age 12

it was the end of july when you got your first period. 

you had made lunch for your siblings and walked them to their day camp, when you suddenly felt an ache in your abdomen. that ache turned into a sharp pain by the time you got home, and you ran to the bathroom to confirm what you’d suspected. 

that afternoon, mr. conklin was taking all the kids to mini golf, but you weren’t feeling up for it. you texted belly about what happened and spent the rest of the day curled up in bed.

you didn’t hear him knock over the sound of the movie you were watching, but suddenly you saw conrad standing by your door, holding a bag from the candy shop. 

“jesus, connie, you scared me!” you exclaimed, pausing the movie. 

he smiled sheepishly and flopped down on the bed next to you. “belly told me you weren’t feeling well. here.” he handed you the bag. 

you opened the bag, grateful that conrad picked out your favourite treats. you take one and bite into it. your stomach growled — you hadn’t eaten earlier because you felt nauseous, but now you could eat that entire bag in one go.

“how was mini golf?” you asked, popping another treat into your mouth.

“it was awesome! i finally managed to get past that giant hippo and get a hole-in-one. i got the highest score.”

you frown, wishing you had been there. if anything, to beat conrad’s score. 

“don’t worry, we’ll go back another time,” conrad added. “you can beat me then.” sometimes, you swore conrad could read your mind. he then asked if you were feeling better.

“no. i got my period,” you huffed. “it sucks.”

“oh.” conrad adjusted his glasses, a sign that he felt awkward. “i’ve heard about those. they sound pretty brutal.”

“health class?”

“no. my mom, actually.”

health class wasn’t much help for you either, and neither was your mother. you were lucky enough to have susannah and laurel, who had explained everything to you and belly. 

“anyway, what are you watching?”

“the hunger games,” you answer. “i just finished the book.”

“cool.” 

conrad didn’t move — he actually leaned back against the pillows even more — so you figured he wanted to stay. you moved the laptop so it sat between the two of you and started playing the movie again.

“you know, it doesn’t seem fair that you miss out on having fun just because of your period,” conrad said as katniss finds peeta injured in the arena.

you frown, about to point out that he has no idea how painful cramps can be.

he lifted his hand up to stop you. “not that i can judge what you’re going through. i’m just saying when it’s this bad, instead of being alone, just text me, and i’ll be there.”

when the time came, he watched movies with you in bed. he brought you junk food and pain killers. he even biked to the store when you’d run out of pads.

he was there for you, just like he promised.

now

those moments from past summers now feel warm and sickly sweet, like popsicles melting in the sun — then again, that might just be the remnants of tequila flowing through your veins. you think about what happened earlier, how belly, jeremiah, and steven stepped in to protect you. how conrad is here with you now, taking care of you so tenderly even after you’ve ignored each for so long. it’s like nothing changed. but once you leave this bathroom and the alcohol leaves your system, it wouldn’t be the same. you feared you'd never get that magic back, and that weighed on your chest so much, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“why’d you go for liam, anyway?” conrad asks, breaking you away from your thoughts. he removes the cloth from your nose so you can answer, and the bleeding seems to have finally stopped.

“you really wanna know?”

“yeah. liam’s an asshole. and you’re…” conrad places his hands on either side of your thighs, leaning close. “you.”

“i went for liam because….well, honestly, i didn’t care who it was, as long as they made me forget you,” you admit, because what did you have to lose. you probably have a broken nose, you definitely have blood on your shirt, and your time with conrad is running out. 

conrad’s eyes darken. his fingers start to play with the hem of your shorts. 

“did it work?” his voice is a whisper, but he’s so close that it’s crystal clear.

“no.”

it’s hard to determine who leans in first, but soon enough your lips are on conrad’s. it's not the most elegant kiss — it's messy, urgent, with your noses bumping together, and teeth clacking against each other. he cradles your face in his hands, and you wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. you taste beer on his tongue, and maybe a hint of lime, but it’s overwhelmed by the salty, metallic taste of blood stained on your lips. you tangle your hands into his hair, and you swallow his moan as you gently tug. it’s clearer now: you’re not dizzy from the alcohol or adrenaline, but dizzy from him.

when you run out of air, feeling like your lungs could burst, you pull away. conrad’s gaze is heavy on yours as he traces your top lip with his thumb.

“connie,” you whimper, itching to kiss him again. 

“you’re still bleeding.”

conrad wipes away your blood with the cuff of his flannel. before either of you can do or say anything more, there’s a knock on the door. jeremiah, letting you know that it’s time to go. 

and, just like that, the moment is gone. 

a few days later, belly invites you over for a girl’s night. you paint each other’s nails, eat sour candy, and watch rom coms, just like you used to. she updates you on debutante season, the argument she had with taylor, and her blossoming feelings for jeremiah. you let it slip that you and conrad kissed at nicole’s party, though you admit you aren’t sure what it means — as if you hadn’t spent hours and hours thinking about the kiss, about him. belly gives you a knowing smile, but you change the subject before she can comment any further.

you’re halfway through 10 things i hate about you when belly falls asleep. you grab your phone, deciding to finally reach out to conrad, when you get a text from him.

he’s already on the dock when you arrive, looking out onto the water. 

“hey,” you greet as you stand next to him. “i was actually about to text you —”

“did you tell belly that we kissed?” he interrupts. you can’t quite read his expression as he waits for you to answer.

“no, i didn’t,” you lie. “but…would it matter if i did?”

“well, i mean, belly’s close to nicole and i don’t want her finding out," conrad explains. his words are deliberate, and you suspect he'd spent some time perfecting what to say to you. so far, you didn't like where this was going. conrad delivers another blow:

"it’s not like it meant anything.”

you feel like you could shatter into a million pieces right then and there.

“it didn’t?” you hate how fragile your voice sounds, compared to conrad’s stoic demeanor.

conrad shrugs. “i mean, we were both drunk and the thing with liam happened, so we just got caught up in the heat of the moment.” 

“you’re saying there’s nothing between us, then? nothing other than friendship?”

he turned away before he answered. “no. nothing.”

“then what about last summer?” you demand. you force yourself to keep it together, your tone firmer than before. “i guess that didn’t mean anything, either.”

“y/n…” he pauses, and you know you caught him off guard. “i don’t know what you want me to say. we’re barely even friends anymore. you come back here, after all this time, after so much shit has happened, and expect us all to drop everything to fit you back into our lives. but, you don't. we moved on. i moved on, and i can’t deal with you —" 

“got it,” you snap, already turning to walk away. “loud and fucking clear, conrad.” 

it’s not like it meant anything. we’re barely even friends anymore.

you replay conrad’s words as you crawl into bed next to belly, holding back tears as to not disturb her sleep.

you decide then that you didn’t love conrad anymore. you couldn’t because it would eat you up inside. 

then again, it doesn't seem like hating him would be any easier.

[letarasstuff]

Where do you go?

(A/N): This is requested by an anon and based on this post.

Summary: How does Hotch’s daughter, who everyone goes to with their own problems, cope with her mother’s death two years later?

Warnings: Angst. Grief. Dealing with a loved one’s death

Wordcount: 2.2k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

“Hey (Y/N), I really need your help with Tim. Do you have a minute for me?” (Y/N) turns around to see a boy from her science class. It’s not like she knows him that much, they occasionally team up for small projects, there is nothing more behind that.

“Uh of course. I just had my last class, so I got time for you.” She smiles and lets him, Vincent is his name she thinks, rant to her about how his boyfriend doesn’t understand his needs.

This is nothing out of the ordinary for her, to be asked for advice. She simply is a good listener and gives good tips, the best even according to people close to the teenager. The problem is her limited knowledge on relationships. “Coaches don’t play”, Hotch tells her. And he intends on keeping it that way.

“That does really suck. Did you try to talk to him about it?” (Y/N) asks the boy in front of her. Suddenly he bursts into tears, describing how he only sees breaking up as a solution. She awkwardly pats his back and says encouraging words to him. That he will make the right decision, that he shouldn’t rush it and that he has to take his time.

After Vincent, or is it Gordon, calms down he looks up at the girl. “Thank you for listening. You were a great help, (Y/N).” He hugs her and leaves.

As she looks over the parking lot she spots her father’s car. Excitedly (Y/N) walks over and gets onto the passenger seat. “Hey, I didn’t know you pick me up today”, she greets him.

“We finished the case early and I was on the way home and thought giving you a lift wouldn’t hurt. Who was that boy? Is there something I should know?” Hotch looks at her from the side. But his daughter shakes her head. “Don’t worry, he is gay. He just needed a shoulder to cry on about his ruined relationship.”

“You do know you are not the school’s therapist, don’t you? At this point your classmates should pay you.” He tries to joke about it, but as a father he is worried. Since Haley died, (Y/N) took it upon her to make sure everybody is happy, no matter at what costs.

“I know, Dad. I’m fine and Alex feels better.”

A few days later (Y/N) sits in JJ’s living room, watching the mother go from one place to the next. “Food is in the fridge, so help yourself. Henry’s bedtime is in half an hour, please make sure he goes to sleep by then. He should be easy to put down, Will made sure to tire him out earlier. All important numbers are on the fridge. Feel free to watch anything on the TV.”

The teenager volunteered to babysit Henry, giving his parents a child free evening. “Thank you, JJ. We will rock this, don’t we?” She looks down to the boy on her lap, who nods his head.

“Good. Behave for (Y/N), ok?” The mother gives her son a kiss on the head. After Will’s goodbye the couple is gone.

“Ok, how about we get real comfy on your bed and I read you a story?” Henry nods again. He takes (Y/N) by her hand to his room. As suggested they lay down on his bed.

“Which one do you want me to read to you?” But the boy looks unsure all of a sudden. “Can we just talk?” Surprised the teenager nods. “Whatever you like, champ.”

“Uh okay, do you know Mommy is a bit… much? She is like there and the next second she is here and then she isn’t here for days. I- this is sooo annoying”, Henry rants to her. He is only three, so it is kept rather simple.

“Oh man, she must be a handful, champ. But you have to keep in mind that she really loves you and in the end this is the only thing that matters. Do you love her, too?” It hurts her to talk about a mother’s love, since her own passed away over two years ago. (Y/N) still misses her. She is sure it will never go away.

“Of course I love her.” Sleepily Henry cuddles closer to (Y/N), holding his plush toy near him. After that, he falls asleep safe and sound. The teenager waits for a bit, watching him scrunching up his nose every few minutes.

The next day at the BAU a knock is heard on the Unit Chief’s door. “Come in!”

“Hey Dad, I thought a little visit wont hurt”, the daughter enters the room. Automatically a smile appears on Hotch’s face. “Also, I thought a little help from Spencer wont hurt, too”, she adds with a laugh. “Last time I checked he was in Garcia’s lair. You might have a shot finding him there”, he tips her off.

“Thank you Dad, you are the best!” Not long after this she steps into the Technical Analyst’s office and is immediately greeted by the preppy woman being anything but preppy.

“What in heaven’s name do they think I am, do you know it (Y/N)? They want me to work faster and more efficiently and expect me to be all sunshine and rainbows while looking at the most gruesome pictures ever taken on a daily basis! Un-be-lie-va-ble!” The blonde walks back and forth, gesticulating wildly.

The teenager takes her hands in an attempt to calm her down. “Sit down and tell me from the beginning what you are talking about.” This ends in Penelope raging about some superiors for an hour. When she finally calms down, it is like she wakes up. “Oh my, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to load all that up on you. You don’t need that in addition to-” She suddenly cuts herself off.

“I’m fine, really. It’ll be like any other day.” The smile the girl struggles to put on looks pained. “My sweet sweet summer child, the second anniversary of your mother’s death is not like any other day. You are still allowed to grief, you know that, right?” Penelope hugs (Y/N), cradling her close to her chest.

“I know, Penny. Thank you for reminding me. But I have to go, I need Spencer’s help with my chemistry assignment. You know, gotta keep those grades up.” With that she makes a beeline for the bullpen, leaving a stunned Technical Analyst by herself.

Since Foyet Hotch worries about his daughter. He learned many things about her coping mechanisms in the last two years: She tries to do it on her own.

In times like this the similarity between him and (Y/N) frustrates him. Aaron also tends to deal with his emotions alone, in the safe space of his own four walls. With all of his qualifications he knows it’s not healthy and he slowly learns to let his feelings loose around people he trusts, typically his team.

The difference between (Y/N) and Hotch is that he knows when he reaches his breaking point and she doesn’t about hers. So in a situation like right now being a profiler comes in handy with the job as a father.

It’s the day. The second anniversary of a mother’s death.

Hotch already planned the whole day for his two kids. At first he wakes both of them up, a luxus he seldom is able to indulge. But for today he has called into work saying he won't be coming any time before ten.

The mood around the house is suffocating. Even the little boy notices the heaviness of the day and its meaning.

“Are you ready, (Y/N)? I’m gonna drop you and Jack off at school!” Aaron shouts standing at the foot of the stairs. “I’m coming!” The answer is heard faintly.

Not long after this the Hotchner Household is on their way to the youngest’s elementary school. “Behave and remember: If you don’t feel fine it’s okay. Just tell your teachers and they will call me and I will get you, do you understand?” The father looks at his son with a certain seriousness. “Understood”, the blonde boy confirms and gives him a hug.

When he is back onto the driver’s seat, (Y/N) speaks up. “I don’t feel good about letting him to school today. What if he suddenly gets overwhelmed? I don’t think his teachers are able to calm him down.” Hotch gives his daughter a glance from the side. Jack never showed any signs of what she just described.

“They know to call me. I also told him it's all right to let them call me. He is in good hands.” It’s quiet for the next few minutes. “Dad, this is not the way to school”, the teenager tries to alert her father.

“I know. You won’t go today. I called you in sick when you were in the bathroom. I got the day planned, be ready to be surprised.”

The first thing they do is having breakfast in a little niché café. They once visited it regularly with Haley, way long before Jack was born. The two of them sit down at a booth in the corner.

“What can I get you two sweeties?” A waitress asks, her notebook ready in her hands. While the father orders their usuals, (Y/N) lets her eyes wander. So many memories at once crash onto her.

“Do you remember this one waiter, who always got you a hot cup of chocolate for free?” Aaron says after noticing her sad look. The girl begins to smile through the tears forming in her eyes. “Of course. Mom always got nearly a heart attack seeing me down it like it’s juice. I-” Her voice breaks. The tears fall down and make their way over her cheeks.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I’m here. For anything you want or need me. Because nobody expects you to be alright, especially on this day.” He takes her hand and looks her in the eyes. (Y/N) nods, leaning against her father’s shoulder. He puts an arm on her, keeping her closer.

“I know. It’s just- It still hurts. So so badly. I feel like she still is here, but that’s just not true and that hurts me more.” Silently Hotch motions the waitress to make the order to go, while rubbing his child’s arm. Because that’s what she still is, a child.

A child that went through much, especially for her age. When (Y/N) calms down a little, they make their way back to the car.

“I thought we are going to the BAU to distract you for a while. But I can call the team and tell them we are going to do a SPA day at home or something. What do you want?”

“Can we go to them? And maybe leave earlier to do face masks at home before picking Jack up?” There is no way the father can say no to her puppy dog eyes. “Of course, Honey. Anything you want.”

As soon as the doors of the elevator open to floor six of the FBI building in Quantico, Penelope Garcia embraces (Y/N) in a big bear hug. “My sweet sweet summer child. You are so strong, I admire you. We are so happy to have you here” she whispers into the teenager's ear. “Thank you, Penny. Thank you so much.”

Over the course of the next few hours (Y/N) visits everyone’s desk. At first she goes into the lair, where mountains of cookies wait for her. Then she sits at Spencer’s desk, listening to cute facts about sloths. But Emily is quick to steal her from the genius, bribing the girl with new pictures of Sergio. Derek takes the teen from there, pushing her through the office on a desk chair with wheels. Her father is able to hear her laughs in his office, which puts a small smile on his face.

After that (Y/N) goes to JJ, who has a drawn picture from Henry for her. “Will had to write ‘best babysitter ever’ for him”, the blonde explains, pointing at the picture. The girl smiles. “Woah, I think you got a little Picasso at home. Tell him I love it.”

Her last stop is Rossi’s office. The older man looks at her with a fond smile. “Do you know that I see so much of your father and mother in you?” Confused, she glances at him.

“You are as stoic as Aaron. You are determined. But you are also caring and loving, like Haley. You are a perfect combination of both of them. Just keep that in your mind.”

As mysterious as this seems, it somehow makes (Y/N) happy. Happy to know a part of her mother is always with her.

Soon the little family departes for their home. Not long after they bid their goodbyes, Penelope receives a picture of the Unit Chief and the teenager with pink glitter masks. The father is willing to do anything to make her smile, even when this means he gets a basket of various masks the next day for teasingly reasons.

[homestucksongcomics]

Masterpost of Song Comics Part I (A-K)

*Unfortunately, due to a peculiarity of tumblr, a post containing too many links will not have any of them function. Thus, the masterpost has been broken into two parts.*

Organized by musician alphabetically

Last updated on 07/18/2021

See Part II here: Masterpost of Homestuck Song Comics Part II (L-Z)

#:

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down by absinthianlyunheroic

This is War - 30 Seconds to Mars by caffieneandcarpaltunnel

I’m Not Your Boyfriend Baby - 3HO!3 by awildcale

A:

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy by irlmako

New Tomorrow - A Friend In London by maria-artz

Hand Over Mouth, Over and Over - A Lot Like Birds by binart

Skyfall - Adele by stormfather

Song of Healing - Adriana Figueroa by talkshitnojutsu

Everything Stays - Adventure Time by starchip-one

Kiss my Eyes and Lay Me to Sleep - AFI by 413art

Prelude 12/21 - AFI by toastyhat

Another Day - Air by chubsintubs

A Whole New World - Aladdin by copper-fish

Mercy Me - Alkaline Trio by brainbent

Hothouse - Aly & AJ by dristr

Evelyn, Evelyn - Amanda Palmer by p-pamda

Luck - The American Authors by timehwimeh

21 Guns - American Idiot Cast by jankyweeaboo

Pittsburgh - The Amity Affliction by anafigreen

Inevitable - Anberlin by suchirolle

Ready to Die - Andrew W. K. by askherroyalcondesce

The Age of Not Believing - Angela Lansbury by toastyhat

Director - The Antlers by gin-and-djinn

Kettering - The Antlers by cloudymew

My Mamma Said - Aqua by xamag-homestuck

Suburbs - Arcade Fire by porrim-maryam and collaborators

Wake Up - Arcade Fire by catprinx

We Used to Wait - Arcade Fire by drawingspecibus

R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys by dacadaca

The Ballad Of Love And Hate - The Avett Brothers by umjulikins

Hey Brother - Avicii by esmeblaise

Wake Me Up - Avicii by a-vodka-mutini

Sail - AWOLNATION by theamazingzombiegirl

B:

If I Die Young - The Band Perry by japhers

Memory - Barbra Strisand by toastyhat

Glitter and Gold - Barns Courtney by chibigaia-art

Daniel in the Den - Bastille by tomato-bird

Pompeii - Bastille by maria-artz Broken

Pompeii - Bastille by toastyhat and oskarna

Above the Clouds of Pompeii - Bear’s Den by groveofsketches

Let it Be - Beatles by toastyhat

The Fool on the Hill - The Beatles by robotoucan

All the Pretty Little Horses - Becky Jean Williams by purplecalamity

Pieces of Sky - Beth Orton by awildcale

Sweet Dreams - Beyoncé by dacadaca

River Below - Billy Talent by kamdensl

Rusted from the Rain - Billy Talent by crispychocolate

Just a Game - Birdy by redwordsoncavewalls

Kill the Lights - The Birthday Massacre by xamag-homestuck

Red Stars - The Birthday Massacre by lord-caliborn and tricotee

These Days - The Black Keys by digitallyimpaired

In the End - Black Veil Brides by rinasart

Let it Be - Blackmill (feat. Veela) by awildcale

Bad Sun - The Bravery by crashtest-therapist

Dear Agony - Breaking Benjamin by yukishii-chan

Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin by nevernoahh

Give Me a Sign - Breaking Benjamin by perceptur

I Will Not Bow - Breaking Benjamin by themockingcrows

First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes by usatoria

Can you feel my heart? - Bring me the horizon by domingoos and Yumegurren

Seeds - Brooke Fraser by anno-bannano Broken

Kodaline - Brother by zzpopzz

When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars by babynarwalshineyeyes

P.O.W. - Bullet for My Valentine by anafigreen

C:

Angel with a Shotgun - The Cab by dawngyocry

How Are You - Cage the Elephant by facetiousfanatic Part 1

How Are You - Cage the Elephant by facetiousfanatic Part 2

How Are You - Cage the Elephant by facetiousfanatic Part 3

The loneliest Girl - Carol and Tuesday by cassandraooc

Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens by thlange

Star Spangled Banner - Chase Holfelder by chillybuns

Between the Bars - Chris Garneau by roselalondee

Dirty Night Clown - Chris Garneau by idontevenknow-anymore

Dirty Night Clown - Chris Garneau by immabananana

Enter the Circus - Christina Aguilera by askinsanegamzee Broken

A Thousand Years - Christina Perii by angstyelf

A Thousand Years - Christina Perii by mari-victal

Burning Gold - Christina Perri by raspberrylemonhead

Fall - Cider Sky by nevernoahh

Falling (Demo) - The Civil Wars by zomdi

Safe and Sound - The Civil Wars by karaokekarkat

Hum - Clara C by nymphicus

3 Foot Tall - Classifed by kyrah-art

Summer Day - Coconut Records by kathysbrotherssister

Fondu au Noir - Coeur de Pirate by derperistical

Fix You - Coldplay by absinthianlyunheroic

Paradise - Coldplay by Moonpaw

The Scientist - Coldplay by ikimaru

Up with the Birds - Coldplay by the-rag-tag-earl

Viva la Vida - Coldplay by raspberrylemonhead

Viva La Vida - Coldplay by rozeart

Yellow - Coldplay by mariedisgrace

Young Volcanos - Coldplay by kawo-shin

Princess of China - Coldplay (feat. Rihanna) by sora-la

Chin Up - Copeland by vriskamidfangserket

Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows by hopelesslyblithe Broken

Crywank are posers - Crywank by p-666t

D:

Thrice - Daedalus by foramen-magnum

Something About Us - Daft Punk by moxel

Something About Us - Daft Punk by yazzdonut

Emotion - Daft Punk (MissingNo remix) by doomzy

The Spine - Darren Korb (Transistor) by rose-ebottles Broken

Youth - Daughter by zelpixel

Raise Your Weapon - Deadmau5 by marintan

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter by mcsiggy

Whisper - The Dear Hunter by prospt and collaborators

I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie by davsturdur

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie by inusushi

I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie by kawaiifarts

Bottom of the River - Delta Rae by wwhatevven

Perfect Insanity - Disturbed by vasheren

Just Be Friends (Instrumental) - Dixie Flatline by cheese3d Inspired by Litlte Red Riding Hood

Pity Dance - Dn Stith by jazzango

Venus Hum - Do You Want to Fight Me by shubbabang

Everything You Ever - Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog by thesassylorax

My Eyes - Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog by equiu5

Close Every Door - Donny Osmond by allegro-designs

Baby Mine - Dumbo by gayrupunzel

E:

I See Fire - Ed Sheeran by arachnerdsgri

I See Fire - Ed Sheeran by themockingcrows

Small Bump - Ed Sheeran by janecrockeyre

Cosmic Castaway - Electrasy by themockingcrows

Telephone Line - Electric Light Orchestra by daily-beta

You are my Sunshine - Elizabeth Mitchell by the-rag-tag-earl

Goodnight Sweet Ladies - Emilie Autumn by amporasexual

Asleep - Emily Browning (originally by The Smiths) by joker-ace

O Come O Come Emmanuel - Enya by pseudocon

One for the Money - Escape the Fate by ikimaru

Follow the Sun - Evermore by ladygrit

Fever Dreamless - fadeintocase by peregr1ne

F:

Centuries - Fall Out Boy by sixofclovers

Immortals - Fall Out Boy by etcterrayellowmoon

Immortals - Fall Out Boy by mari-victal

Immortals - Fall Out Boy by quiversarrow

My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) - Fall Out Boy by toastyhat

The Kids Aren’t All Right - Fall Out Boy by i-am-a-riceball

The Kids Aren’t All Right - Fall Out Boy by scarlettheknight

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy by dopingues

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy by orangelemonart

Caught Like a Fly - Falling in Reverse by viria

Tragic Magic - Falling in Reverse by elasticitymudflap

Heavy Storm - First Aid Kit by moxel

Wolf - First Aid Kit by spooneaterarts

100 years - Five for Fighting by orangelemonart

Superman - Five for Fighting by grimbarke

Hurt Feelings - Flight of the Conchords by koroke

Rise - Flobots by lyricstuckbeatdown

Blinding - Florence + the Machine by collaborative

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine by rosemaryserver

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine by starkthirdeye

Cosmic Love - Florence + the Machine by toastyhat

Dog Days Are Over - Florence + the Machine by greatbiglyricstuck

Dog Days are Over - Florence + the Machine by m0thboy

Girl With One Eye - Florence + the Machine by kingdomzombified

Kiss With a Fist - Florence + the Machine by miraculoustang

No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine by dacadaca

No Light, No Light - Florence + the Machine by nappotuna

Only If for a Night - Florence + the Machine by glueball

Seven Devils - Florence + the Machine by fangirlinginleatherboots

Seven Devils - Florence + the Machine by themockingcrows

Shake it Out - Florence + the Machine by cod-tier

Tear out my Tongue - Florence + the Machine by wheresmyhamlet

What the Water Gave Me - Florence + the Machine by colonoscolypseart

With an Axe - Foxy Shazam by oldshiel

Something Stupid - Frank and Nancy Sinatra by toastyhat

Some Nights - Fun. by greatbiglyricstuck

G:

Mad World - Gary Jules by ahabsiconoclast

Mad World - Gary Jules by prospitheir and aze

Mad World - Gary Jules by synnesai

Where Everybody Knows Your Name - Gary Portnoy by calliotp

Child of Light - The Getaway Plan by dingohugs

It All Dies Anyway - The Gits by skittykitty55

Take Me Away - Globus by toastyhat and splickedylit

You’re the One That I Want - Grease by doodlebonez

Top of the World - Greek Fire by eggsand-santoast

Song of the Century - Green Day by babakinkin

Song of the Century - Green Day by delinked

Song of the century - Green Day by the-rogue-0f-light

Boats and Birds - Gregory and the Hawk by striderprovider

Hard Knocks - Griffinilla and Alex Cole by colouredteapot

H:

Colors - Hasley by innocuoussketches

Anything - Hedley by valeriannnn

The Unquiet Grave - Hellen McCrocry by madreamcanular

Coming Back Down - Hollywood Undead by flynnagan

Coming Back Down - Hollywood Undead by skittykitty55

Levitate - Hollywood Undead by anafigreen

SCAVA - Hollywood Undead by scarlettheknight

Temporal Shenanigans - Homestuck ost - Rachel Macwhirter by arachnerdsgrip:

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier by metaname

Take Me To Church - Hozier by sailerscrimshaw Broken

God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame by velocitiestrumpet

The Court of Miracles - Hunchback of Notre Dame by moc-tod-ffuts-modnar

That’s Okay - The Hush Sound by porcupet

Where We Went Wrong - The Hush Sound by canni8al

Wine Red - The Hush Sound by zeborah

I:

Volatile Times - IAMX by xamag-homestuck

Bad Karma - Ida Maria by margarethours

Amsterdam - Imagine Dragons by paperseverywhere

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons by rapidopatter

Demons - Imagine Dragons by muraokami Broken

Demons - Imagine Dragons by rapidopatter

Fallen - Imagine Dragons by maria-artz Broken

I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons by abbiwhozit

I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons by catkindness Part 1

I'm So Sorry - Imagine Dragons by catkindness Part 2

Nothing Left to Say - Imagine Dragons by paperseverywhere

On Top of the World - Imagine Dragons by lickfoot

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons by falloutboyonboy

Radioactive - Imagine Dragons by rachelhungry

Thief - Imagine Dragons by mikimosh

Warriors - Imagine Dragons by turretsyndr0me

Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap by kingdomzelaybli

The Devil’s Carnival - In all My Dreams I Drown by artblogofminji

Don’t Stop - InnerPartySystem by spocktalia Broken

What We Will Never Know - InnerPartySystem by lets-lyricstuck

Cinders and Smoke - Iron & Wine by laughingandgrief

Walk the Moon - Iscariot by cissaisthisyou

The Weekend - Islands by daily-beta

J:

R.I.P. Everyone - J.J. Demon by trickstercarlos

Fallin’ - Jake Bugg by awildcale

I Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz by impudentkid

I’ll Be Good - Jaymes Young by asexualls Broken

Sufferer’s Final Sermon - jbriner by sketchloft

Be Thou My Vision - jbriner (originally a hymn) by mrdespondency

O Death - Jen Titus by canni8al

Oh Death - Jen Titus by artweaver5

If the World Should End - Jennifer Damiano by atrueenglishman

The Hanging Tree - Jennifer Lawrence by sixofclovers

Highwayman - Johnny Cash by toastyhat

What A Wonderful World - Joseph William Morgan ft. Shadow Royale by jayspants

The Stars - Jukebox the Ghost by innocuoussketches

K:

Die Young - Ke$ha by gelasticat

[S] Ke$ha: Enter - Ke$ha (Die Young Remix by captaincrapster) by ket3

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson by timehost

Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson by karaokeoctoberkat

Britland City Theme - Kenashcorp by stormfather

Animals - Kids in Glass Houses by faun-songs

Dustland Fairytale - The Killers by spiritleaf

Mr. Brightside - The Killers by mlle-annette

Sam´s Town - The Killers by gei-may

Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers by toastyhat

I Will Never Forget - Kimya Dawson by moxel

All I Want - Kodaline by godtier8itch

[beetlegoose01]

first hero (one shot)

AN: Snippets of Draco as a father, and one as a grandfather. :)

Before Scorpius was born, Draco had no experience with babies or small children. He was raised an only child, and had no knowledge of what to do. His own father was never one for comforting hugs or piggy back rides or teaching him how to properly play Quidditch without falling off his broom. He wasn't a terrible father, but he was definitely not a doting one.

He would do better. Draco vowed the second he discovered Astoria was expecting, that he would. He would do everything he could for this child. Resting his hand to her ever growing bump, whispering 'I love yous' and soft French lullabies.

"Is that-?" Draco uttered, eyes sparkling with wonder.

She laughed. "A little kick, yes."

"Does it hurt?"

"No, silly. Like a baby bird fluttering about."

Astoria's health was declining. Her body was already weakening from her curse and the pregnancy seemed to exhaust her further, day by day.

"If I don't see them grow," She whispered one night, caressing his cheek. "Please watch out for them, Draco. Promise me, you will."

His heart ached at her painfully true words. "I don't want to make that promise. Maybe there's some hope...some positivity?"

"It's the truth." She shrugged. "I can't change that, Draco. You know it, even if you won't say. Promise me?"

"...I promise."

Their son was born just a few days before Christmas. He had been intended to be born after the New Year, but his early arrival was welcomed nevertheless.

"He's...so tiny." Draco whispered, staring at the swaddled infant laying against his mother's chest. He didn't dare touch the blond fuzz, like dandelion fluff on their little one's head. He was so premature, so fragile.

"Hello Scorpius," Astoria murmured, exhausted and blotchy from childbirth, but still had a twinkle in her eyes. The tiny boy yawned, nestling closer to her. "Would you like to hold him?"

Draco nodded firmly, though he was positively terrified of dropping the boy. Astoria placed him gently in his arms, and he melted as the infant squirmed and squeaked.

"Hello, little fellow." He said, careful not to shift too much. "I'm your papa, Scorpius. Scorpius..." He thought for a moment. "Have we decided on a middle name?"

Astoria shook her head. "Are you sure you don't want to do Lucius?"

"Positive." He said, watching as their son's eyes fluttered open. They were bright and blue, like his mother's. Then, it dawned on him. "Hyperion."

"Like my father?"

Draco sat beside her, kissing Scorpius' head, then Astoria's rosy cheeks. "A man worthy of his name being carried on by our boy."

"Scorpius Hyperion," She repeated, smiling. "I like it."

~•~

Scorpius proved to be a shy, but precocious child, always fascinated in anything and everything. Though he had little contact with any other children his own age, he was best friends with his parents, and even occasionally visited his maternal cousins- though by visiting really he sat in the corner, staring at a picture book instead of interacting with them. He was quiet, remarkably quiet with his cousins.

Not that they didn't encourage him to talk to them.

"How about you join them, Scorpius?" Astoria asked, laying on the picnic blanket beside her husband and son. Her nieces, Constance and Cordelia were loudly playing gobstones while Daphne supervised them. "Gobstones is fun, I'm sure they'll teach you."

Scorpius simply shook his head, pointing at his book.

"Alright." She kissed his head fondly. "What would you like to do pumpkin?"

"Braid your hair, mummy." He whispered, giggling.

"My hair's already braided, silly. But...daddy's isn't." She smirked.

"Yeah!' Scorpius chirped, popping his thumb out of his mouth. "Flowers too?"

"Ooh that's a brilliant idea!"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "What are you suggesting?"

"Your hair is so long and pretty. Perfect for braiding." Astoria said, eyes crinkling as she laughed.

So Draco stood as still as he possibly could as his son and wife braided daisies and other flowers in his platinum hair, all while holding back chuckles as Scorpius stumbled around looking for various flowers to put in his hair.

"No, no Scorpius' that's a weed-" He started, but Scorpius didn't hear him, and continued braiding, singing a made up song to himself as he worked.

~•~

"Dad?" Scorpius asked one afternoon, while Draco was brooding by the fireplace. Astoria was resting upstairs after a particularly bad morning of sickness.

"Yes, son?"

"I um," He stared at his shoes, growing anxious. "I finished all the books in mum's library."

"Reading them?" Draco asked, puzzled, though not surprised. Though he was only nine, he devoured books like sweets. Instead of playing, he would read in a cushy armchair, reading books bigger than his head. Fantasy books, muggle literature, textbooks, non fiction, spell books- anything he could get his hands on. He especially loved ones with facts.

"Almost all of them." He corrected softly. "There's the ones you have locked up."

"Ah." Draco hummed. "You wouldn't be interested in that...it's all very grim. They're all about the War."

"Please, can I?" Scorpius begged. "I barely know anything about that and I'm so curious."

"How about we read it together? There are some things you need to know that ...you won't be happy to hear."

They read the old book together, and Scorpius was silent the entire time. When they finished a chapter about the list of Death Eaters, he looked distraught.

"I'm sorry, son." He murmured, but Scorpius didn't answer. Instead, he curled up beside his dad.

"Do you still have it?" He asked finally. "The mark?"

"...Yes."

"So we were evil?" The question was so innocent, but it still hurt.

"It's ...complicated. This mark serves as a constant reminder of my wrongdoings. With your mother's help, I became a better man. At least, I think so."

Scorpius dimpled. "You are." He yawned sleepily, resting his head on Draco. "I love you."

"I love you too, Scorpius."

~•~

"Ready?" Astoria asked, fixing Scorpius' black tie. "Oh, you look so grown up." She cooed.

"Mum!" Scorpius whined. "The train is going to leave soon!"

"I know, I know. One more hug and a kiss?" She asked, and he happily obliged. Thankfully at the age of eleven, he was still young enough to not be embarrassed by hugs. Especially Astoria hugs. She kissed the top of his hair.

"I'll miss you." He whimpered.

"Be good." Draco added, patting his shoulder. "Don't cause too much trouble."

"I won't, dad. I'll miss you too." He said glumly. "Suppose I don't make any friends?"

"You will."

"Don't forget your sweets." Astoria passed the bag to her son. "To help you make friends. Remember?" She winked. "Everyone will want to be your friend if you share."

"Friendly bribery." Draco joked. "But also because of your charming personality."

Scorpius laughed nervously as the train whistled. "I should go then."

"Write to us as soon as you can," Astoria said. "We love you, sweet boy."

"I love you too." He gave them a watery smile. "Bye then." He reluctantly walked towards the train, the trunk already put away so he only had his cat carrier to hold.

Watching him slip away made Astoria's lip quiver.

"He'll be alright, Toria." Draco assured her.

"I hope the other children will be nice." She said. "I don't want his light to dim."

Draco said nothing. It was true, Scorpius was the embodiment of sunshine and love, the idea of putting him with other children who most likely knew of the rumor was not comforting. He had wanted to homeschool Scorpius, but Astoria had insisted he needed to interact with others his age. Sending him to Hogwarts still felt like bringing a unicorn foal to a Chimera den.

"He will be alright." He repeated to himself.

School was harder than they had predicted. Scorpius had made one friend, Albus Potter of all people, who was sorted in Slytherin with him. Still, judging by his letters, he was happy. The other students teased them, but they had each other.

Which was enough.

~•~

It was a grey, cold summer's day. Scorpius curled up by the windowsill, silently watching the raindrops drip down the window. Everything felt bleak and dim. Not even the birds nearby chirped their beautiful songs.

"Be brave, Scorpius." His mum smiled, her strength weakening. "I love you."

"I love you too, mum."

He had held her hand as she passed away into the night.

"Scorpius..." Draco said, voice shaky. "Please let me in."

Scorpius hadn't heard him. He continued to watch the rain fall.

~•~

They were drifting apart. Draco could sense it. He had tried desperately to reach out to his son, but nothing worked.

Astoria would have known what to do. And now...well it was up to Draco to help his deeply distraught son.

After Scorpius' reappearance, he had hoped their relationship would rekindle somehow. It hadn't, despite his stress over losing him and the brief reunion that they shared was awkward. His son was back at school and that was that. Draco wished they could have spent a longer time together, especially after he had been missing for some time.

He stirred his tea thoughtfully. At least Scorpius was at Hogwarts with Albus and his professors. Still, the idea of /why/ he ran away was perplexing.

The manor chimney moved slightly. Placing his tea down, he watched as his lanky son tumbled out in a puff of soot and floo powder.

"Scorpius?" Draco asked, rushing to his side. "What are you doing here?"

Scorpius lifted his head, collapsing into his father's arms. "I came to see you."

It had been a while since they had hugged, but Draco didn't reject it. He held onto his son, his sweet son and let him weep into his chest like he was a little boy again.

"It's Albus." He gulped, voice cracking. "He won't speak to me. Dad, everything is wrong- he avoids me, all of our classes have been changed so we aren't in anything together." His eyes were glassy with tears. "I know for some reason he's in Gryffindor now, but he doesn't even ...acknowledge I exist. It's like he hates me."

"No...no...he doesn't hate you. We'll sort this all out." He paused. "And the other kids, have they been unkind?"

Scorpius stared at him in disbelief. "They've always been unkind, Dad! I'm the son of Voldemort, remember?" He snapped, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You don't know half of the things they do. Every day. Every day they hex me, belittle me, tease me. They make me feel...worthless."

Draco felt his heart break as Scorpius' face crumpled.

"School was fine with classes and such and when I had Al with me to make everything bearable. Now I don't even have him. I'm all alone. I don't want to be alone, Dad. I don't want to go back to school. I hate it there." He took a shaky breath. "I hate it so, so much."

"Scorpius I..."

"I miss mum."

"I know."

He had to make things right.

~•~

His son had come out as bisexual the following year after his little 'adventure' with Albus. Draco hadn't understood the term at first. He had to do extensive research to fully comprehend the meanings, alongside other sexualities that were included. Sexualities and gender were confusing, even Scorpius admitted it.

He didn't understand at first. But he listened to Scorpius explain tearfully, and hugged him as tight as possible when he mentioned he was dating Albus Potter.

"I love him." Scorpius said quietly. "That's what matters the most. Not my labels...nor his."

"I'm so proud of you."

~•~

His son was married.

His son was married, and he couldn't be happier.

Watching Scorpius embrace Albus at their wedding was everything Draco could have wanted. Seeing his son love someone, and look at him with such adoration made his heart soar.

He could see Astoria's bright smile in Scorpius' eyes as he laughed, leaning against his new husband. They were both glowing with genuine happiness. 

‘All was well.’ He thought, wondering if Astoria was proud of him too. 

~~~~~

Draco was much more confident holding his newborn granddaughter. At least, more confident than when he held Scorpius for the first time. She too, was early and had the same expression of curiosity in her eyes. He chuckled fondly as she reached her tiny hand to grab a hold of his pinky finger. She was precious as a doll, with fuzzy blonde hair and curious turquoise eyes. What a wonder, being that small and innocent. 

“She’s beautiful.” He murmured. “What is her name?” 

Albus grinned, pride evident in his voice. “Astoria Ginevra.”

[surveyhoursss]

127.

Bold the ones that you know of!

2000

1.Who Let The Dogs Out? -Baha Men

2. All The Small Things -Blink 182

3. Amazed -Lonestar

4. Oops, I Did It Again -Britney Spears

5. Graduation -Vitamin C

6. Bye, Bye, Bye -N*Sync

7. Independent Woman -Destiny’s Child

8. Let’s Make Love – Tim McGraw and Faith Hill

9. Zombie Nation – Kernkraft 4000

10. I Turn To You – Christina Aguilera

11. I Knew I Loved You – Savage Garden

12. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi

13. Breathe – Faith Hill

14. Shake Your Bon-Bon – Ricky Martin

15. Blue (Da Ba Dee) – Eiffel 65

16. Goobye Earl – Dixie Chicks

17. Let’s Get Married – Jagged Edge

18. The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang

19. The Real Slim Shady – Eminem

20. Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

21. It’s Gonna Be Me – N*Sync

22. Party Up – DMX

23. Sexual (Li Da Di) – Amber

24. Country Grammar – Nelly

25. Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) – Aaron Carter

2001

1. Hanging By A Moment -Lifehouse

2. Allin’ -Alicia Keys

3. All For You -Janet

4. If You’re Gone -Matchbox Twenty

5. I’M Real -Jennifer Lopez ft. Ja Rule

6. Drops Of Jupiter (Tell Me) -Train

7. Let Me Blow Ya Mind -Eve ft. Gwen Stefani

8. Thank You -Dido

9. Hit ‘Em Up Style (Oops!) -Blu Cantrell

10. Independent Women Part I -Destiny’s Child

11. Again -Lenny Kravitz

12. It’S Been Awhile -Staind

13. Stutter -Joe ft. Mystikal

14. It Wasn’T Me’ -Shaggy ft. Ricardo “RikRok” Ducent

15. U Remind Me -Usher

16. Where The Party At -Jagged Edge With Nelly

17. Angel -Shaggy Featuring Rayvon

18. Ride Wit Me -Nelly Featuring City Spud

19. Peaches & Cream -112

20. Follow Me -Uncle Kracker

21. Drive -Incubus

22. What Would You Do? -Alicia Keys

23. Survivor -Destiny’s Child

24. Lady Marmalade -Christina Aguilera, Lil’ Kim, Mya & Pink

25. Ms. Jackson -OutKast

2002

1. A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson

2. Hot In Herre – Nelly

3. Complicated – Avril Lavigne

4. Girlfriend – N Sync & Nelly

5. Sk8er Boi – Avril Lavigne

6. Can’t Fight The Moonlight – LeAnn Rimes

7. Dirrty – Christina Aguilera

8. A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton

9. Heaven – DJ Sammy

10. Gimme The Light – Sean Paul

11. The World’s Greatest – R Kelly

12. Jenny From The Block – Jennifer Lopez Featuring Jadakiss & Styles

13. Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American) – Toby Keith

14. Goodbye To You – Michelle Branch

15. Can’t Get You Out Of My Head – Kylie Minogue

16. The Game Of Love – Santana Featuring Michelle Branch

17. Young’n (Holla Back) – Fabolous

18. She Hates Me – Puddle Of Mudd

19. Starry Eyed Surprise – Oakenfold Featuring Shifty Shellshock

20. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World

21. Say I Yi Yi – Ying Yang Twins

22. Just A Friend 2002 – Mario

23. Hey Baby – No Doubt and Bounty Killer

24. Work It – Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott

25. U Don’t Have To Call – Usher

2003

1. In Da Club -50 Cent

2. Crazy in Love -Beyonce w. Jay-Z

3. Get Busy -Sean Paul

4. When I’m Gone -Three Doors Down

5. Ignition -R Kelly

6. Baby Boy -Beyonce w. Sean Paul

7. This is the Night -Clay Aiken

8. Bring Me To Life -Evanescence

9. Right Thurr -Chingy

10. Unwell -Matchbox Twenty

11. Picture -Kid Rock w. Sheryl Crow

12. Drift Away -Uncle Kracker & Dobie Gray

13. Get Low -Lil’ John & The East Side Boyz

14. Beautiful -Christina Aguilera

15. I’m With You -Avril Lavigne

16. Miss You -Aalyiah

17. 21 Questions -50 Cent & Nate Dogg

18. Shake Ya Tailfeather Nelly -P. Diddy and Murphy Lee

19. All I Have -Jennifer Lopez & LL Cool J

20. I Know What You Want -Busta Rhymes & Mariah Carey

21. Magic Stick -Lil’ Kim w. 50 Cent

22. Bump Bump Bump -B2K and P. Diddy

23. Flying Without Wings -Ruben Studdard

24. Here Without You -3 Doors Down

25. Work It -Missy Elliot

2004 (my birth year !! )

1. Yeah! -Usher

2. Burn -Usher

3. This Love -Maroon 5

4. The Way You Move -Outkast

5. If I Ain’t Got You -Alecia Keys

6. Hey Ya! -Outkast

7. I Don’t Wanna Know -Mario Winans

8. The Reason -Hoobastank

9. Confessions Part II -Usher

10. My Immortal -Evanescence

11. Naughty Girl -Beyonce

12. Let’s Get It Started -Black Eyed Peas

13. My Boo -Usher and Alecia Keys

14. She Will Be Loved -Maroon 5

15. The First Cut Is the Deepest -Sheryl Crow

16. Toxic -Britney Spears

17. Someday -Nickelback

18. I Believe -Fantasia

19. Breakaway -Kelly Clarkson

20. Slow Jamz -Twista

21. Dirt Off Your Shoulder -Jay-Z

22. Freak-A-Leek -Petey Pablo

23. The Way -Clay Aiken

24. Numb -Linkin’ Park

25. Dip It Low -Christina Milian

2005

1. We Belong Together -Mariah Carey

2. Let Me Love You -Mario

3. Since U Been Gone -Kelly Clarkson

4. Hollaback Girl -Gwen Stefani

5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams -Greenday

6. Don’t Cha -The Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes

7. Candy Shop -50 Cent

8. 1, 2, Step -Ciara and Missy Elliot

9. Gold Digger -Kanye West

10. Don’t Phunk With My Heart -The Black Eyed Peas

11. Drop It Like It’s Hot -Snoop Dogg

12. Shake It Off -Mariah Carey

13. Disco Inferno -50 Cent

14. Behind These Hazel Eyes -Kelly Clarkson

15. Beverly Hills -Weezer

16. Just a Lil Bit -50 Cent

17. Lose Control -Missy Elliot

18. How We Do -The Game & 50 Cent

19. You & Me -Lifehouse

20. Soldier -Destiny’s Child

21. Rich Girl -Gwen Stefani

22. Mr. Brightside -The Killers

23. Oh -Ciara and Ludacris

24. Pon De Replay -Rihanna

25. Hate It Or Love It -The Game and 50 Cent

2006

1. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake

2. Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira featuring Wyclef Jean

3. Promiscuous – Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland

4. Everytime We Touch – Cascada

5. Temperature – Sean Paul

6. S.O.S. – Rihanna

7. Beep – Pussy Cat Dolls

8. Waiting On The World To Change – John Mayer

9. Pump It – Black Eyed Peas

10. You’re Beautiful – James Blunt

11. Maneater – Nelly Furtado

12. Single – Natasha Bedingfield

13. What Hurts the Most – Rascall Flatts

14. Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It – Dem Franchise Boys

15. Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

16. It’s Goin’ Down – Young Joc

17. Dance, Dance -Fall Out Boy

18. Smack That – Akon & Eminem

19. I Write Songs, Not Tragedies – Panic! At the Disco

20. We’re All In This Together – High School Musical Cast

21. Ms. New Booty – Bubba Sparx

22. How To Save A Life – The Fray

23. Rompe – Daddy Yankee

24. Check On It – Beyonce Featuring Slim Thugg

25. Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

2007

1. The Sweet Escape -Gwen Stefani & Akon

2. Girlfriend -Avril Lavigne

3. Irreplaceable -Beyonce

4. Before He Cheats -Carrie Underwood

5. Crank Dat -Soulja Boy

6. Rehab -Amy Winehouse

7. Umbrella -Rhianna

8. Hey There Delilah -Plain White T’s

9. Glamorous -Fergie

10. I Wanna Luv U -Akon

11. Bubbly -Colbie Caillat

12. Walk It Out -Unk

13. Don’t Matter -Akon

14. Fergalicious -Fergie

15. Lip Gloss -Lil Mama

16. Candyman -Christina Aguilera

17. Break It Off -Rhianna

18. S.O.S. -Jonas Brothers

19. Stronger -Kanye West

20. Thks Fr Th Mmrs -Fall Out Boy

21. Pop, Lock and Drop It -Huey

22. Shut Up and Drive -Rhianna

23. Because of You -Ne-Yo

24. Home -Daughtry

25. Tattoo -Jordan Sparks

2008

1. So What – Pink

2. Just Dance – Lady Gaga

3. Leavin’ – Jesse McCartney

4. I’m Yours – Jason Mraz

5. Gives You Hell – All-American Rejects

6. Damaged – Danity Kane

7. Shake It – Metro Station

8. Love Story – Taylor Swift

9. When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls

10. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry

11. Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna

12. Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers

13. Low – Flo Rida featuring T-Pain

14. Calabria – Enur featuring Natasja

15. Love Like This – Natasha Bedingfield and Sean Kingston

16. 7 Things – Miley Cyrus

17. Lollipop – Lil Wayne

18. Pocketful of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

19. Circus – Britney Spears

20. Summertime – New Kids On The Block

21. Our Song- Taylor Swift

22. All Summer Long – Kid Rock

23. Closer – Ne-Yo

24. Viva La Vida – Coldplay

25. See You Again – Miley Cyrus

2009

1. Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas

2. I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

3. I Know You Want Me (Calle Oche) – Pitbull

4. You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

5. Lovegame – Lady Gaga

6. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH3!

7. Please Don’t Leave Me – Pink

8. Right Round – Flo-Rida

9. Poker Face – Lady Gaga

10. Goodbye – Kristinia Debarge

11. Say Hey – Evan Taubenfeld Michael Franti & Spearhead

12. New Divide – Linkin Park

13. The Climb – Miley Cyrus

14. Best I Ever had – Drake

15. Good Girls Go Bad – Cobra Starship Featuring Leighton Meester

16. Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillet

17. Waking Up In Vegas – Katy Perry

18. Paranoid – Jonas Brothers

19. Wanted – Jessie James

20. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston

21. Not Meant To Be – Theory of a Deadman

22. Love, Sex and Magic – Ciara & Justin Timberlake

23. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon

24. Day N Nite – Kid Cuti

25. Hoedown Throwdown – Miley Cyrus (they let us learn the dance at res)

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

You Are My Sunshine

From the MoonBrella Academy

Warnings: some angst and fluff A/N: Honey and Leon are left with the aftermath of Klaus's decision to tear apart another timeline by rescuing his infant self from the same childhood he endured at the hand's of The Monocle. Selina, though, couldn't be any more delighted.

Part 1 Sweet Child O Mine

Honey stood full of bewilderment in the middle of the living room. The flash of blue light temporarily blinded her making the 27 year old lose her bearings. She stumbled, caught herself and clutched the bundle to her chest out of instinct. It began to cry.

The young mother remembered herself then. In her daze, she had proffered a pinky finger to the infant. He accepted and sucked on it hungrily for only a few moments.

Honey knew in her very soul that the man from the portal, the man from outside the abortion clinic in 1968 and the man in the FBI posters from 1963 were one and the same. That he and this baby she cradled and Leon were identical but not. His name was Klaus. Nicklaus. Sunny. Their Sunny. He came from her. From Leon. WAS Leon. She saw that in his eyes. His cheeks. That all too brief gummy smile when Klaus had reluctantly handed the baby over.

Annoyed with only a finger to suck on, the baby started to wail. Not cry. A bone rattling scream that Honey never once heard from Selina. She stared at the little boy who had freed an arm to tug on his ear. He moved into a full-bodied tremble while his lip quivered.

“Shhh,” Honey cooed. She swayed back and forth to soothe the screaming child. “You know when Leon gets upset, his lip does that too?” She used her index finger to wiggle Sunny’s as a distraction.

He inhaled with a violent shudder. Wild green eyes locked with Honey’s before he cried at the top of his lungs once more. His eyes never leave hers except occasionally to gaze downwards over her chest. She knew Sunny was starving as the tears spilled down her own face. There weren't any bottles or formula or anything for him available. Selina never used one anyway. She went from the tit to the sippy cup.

Now he curled his little fingers around the muslin of Honey’s shirt. She cocked an eyebrow as he tugged trying to free her breast from its covering.

“Cheeky little pervert! You must be Leon?” she giggled and separated Sunny’s fingers from her shirt. The little boy screamed again this time louder. He yanked at her and wailed like a banshee. Honey covered her ear with one hand, “Jesus! You'll wake the dead!!”

Almost on cue, Sunny's tiny fist balled tight around Honey’s shirt began to glow. It shined a brilliant blue that matched the portal Klaus had stepped through. Because she wasn't offering her breast to him, the little one shoved his free hand into his mouth. It shone with the same light.

“What in Saint Jude?” Honey used her fingertip to spread his little fist open. She traced her nail along his now opened palm, fascinated. “This is beautiful..”

“Hey Gracie.”

There was a voice behind Honey. One she knew but hadn't heard. That thick Brooklyn accent. The scent of whiskey and cigarettes. The tears threatened to spill down her cheeks as she turned to look. To see her Uncle Lenny that she missed every day. That she longed to talk to about her life. But Sunny went back to his screaming, and Honey knew Lenny was gone.

“I CAN'T FEED YOU! I WASN'T PREGNANT WITH YOU SO I'M NOT EQUIPPED. PLEASE STOP CRYING! I'M SORRY HE TOOK YOU AWAY FROM A VERSION OF ME WHO COULD PROVIDE FOR YOU!”

Honey began to weep now. She felt helpless. Disconnected from the infant she rocked gently without thought. As if a tiny part of her brain that beat her down and told her she failed Selina. There was a reason the little girl preferred Leon to her. That Honey just wasn't good enough.

Now here she was unable to do the simplest thing, calm a crying infant. Her big fat tears poured onto Sunny’s face, and his crying ceased immediately. He blinked those indescribable eyes a few times before inhaling as deep as his little lungs could manage. She braced herself for another brain piercing howl. Instead he exhaled a coo wrapped up in a smile while staring directly in his new mother’s own eyes.

And there it started, a tether from Honey’s heart to the little boy’s. He tangled his fingers around her hair that brushed over his cheeks as she started to laugh. It trickled down to Sunny and through him. He responded with giggles that lit a fire in Honey’s chest. Quite literally.

Her breast and nipple felt like they were ablaze. She winced and gasped at the pain before taking one in her hand and held it tightly. The searing took her breath away before it spilled out on to her grip in the form of liquid. Honey's breast started leaking.

Without thought or hesitation she freed herself, finally, from her top. Sunny’s eyes became a bright green the moment he saw her offered breast and latched on. He sucked hungrily, little eyes rolling back in his head as he tightened his grip on Honey's hair. The baby opened and closed his fist as he ate. Honey hummed.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray,” she sang and swayed as if she were dancing with the baby. “You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.” Honey bent to kiss Sunny’s forehead. He heaved one more great sigh and fell asleep.

The clock on their mantle struck 3pm, and Honey panicked. Selina’s dance class.

-------

Honey slipped past the other parents to the empty seat Leon had saved between himself and Tom and Ella. Her giant suede purse slung around her body more like a satchel. She sat down rather gingerly, greeted the Kidmans and let her long hair fall loose from under her beret. She smiled at her husband, all flushed cheeks and bright brown eyes.

From Leon’s angle as he kissed her hello it looked like a babydoll sticking out of her bag. Instead, to his shock, Honey carefully pulled a human baby from inside bundled up to its large eyes. Familiar ones that held Leon's gaze as she unzipped the little winter jacket that had been Selina’s.

Honey removed the tiny tossle cap. Underneath it was a baby boy (as beautiful as Selina) who released a satisfying coo. Then the little one turned to reach for Leon; to Honey’s dismay, he recoiled. She sniffed her displeasure while Sunny dove face first into her chest. Not for a breast, but simply a snuggle.

“The least you could do is hold him,” Honey’s tone was icy as she faced forward.

She caught her daughter’s eye from across the room and they waved at each other with enthusiasm. Selina pointed with sheer delight at the bundle in her mommy’s lap. Honey nodded and made the baby wave at his sister who bounced around in her tutu before the teacher took her hand and gently guided Selina back in line. Honey mouthed she was sorry.

"I'm just trying to figure out why my missus has got a baby that she wasn't pregnant with a few hours ago? Care to explain, love?”

Leon’s eyes were filled with worry as he looked at Honey. The tone of his voice was more tender than accusatory as he took one of her hands and squeezed it. Honey melted as she often did when it came to Leon's touch.

"A magical door opened up in our living room and that fake American cousin of yours, you know the one from the abortion,” she whispered this, “clinic?” Honey took a breath before continuing, “And I'm pretty sure he is our son from the future. He was in those FBI posters too. Back when we turned ourselves in. Anyways, he said his name was Klaus? Nicklaus. Nicklaus, Leon. He said well, this is ALSO our kid,” she presented the baby to Leon again, “from the future."

“I think you need to stop taking that blooming fertility concoction my mum and aunts made for you in Greece last summer. It's doing your head in because you sound like a bleeding nutter.”

"Leon, he’s our Sunny. Just like you predicted. You believed me then. I promise. Just hold him. Believe me again, please?” Honey pleaded with her husband.

“I quit drugs cold, and you've gone barmy. Then nicked some poor punter’s baby.” Anyone could tell Leon didn't even swallow one word spoken just now.

"First off, that concoction is cinnamon, honey, nettles and primrose oil. Nothing with drug properties. You're the one on maca, tribulus fruit and asparagus. Suck your own cock and see how it tastes." Honey stuck her chin out in defiance.

Tom choked on the cigar he was smoking. Meanwhile a knowing smile crossed Ella’s face. Her eyebrow raised in amusement at the direction this was headed. The Kostas couple were incredibly sexy when they argued. Honestly, they felt the same about each other.

"That's because you're not supposed to give me head, I'm supposed to put it in you. Remember that's how babies are made? Bloody hell.” Leon sighed and gave into his wife. He rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. Then he held out his arms, “Fine, just give him to me for cuddle”

Honey handed Sunny over to Leon who held him aloft. The baby had his fingers in his mouth. They glowed the softest hint of blue to the elder’s fascination. Then he let his little lips drop open to reveal mostly nothing but one lone tooth poking from the bottom gum. That tiny hand shot out to clench a fistful of Leon's goatee with an excited squeal.

Honey bit her bottom lip until she was certain it was going to bleed. A giant lump in her throat made it hard to swallow as she choked back tears willing Leon to get it. To see Nicklaus. Or Klaus. Or Sunny was theirs. She tightened her grip around forearm that she didn't realize had been in her grasp.

She wasn't a woman who prayed, not usually. To a Saint here and there, but quietly now she did. She wanted to convey to her husband that her body just couldn't get pregnant again naturally for whatever reason. Honey had started to bleed heavily before she left the apartment. Another miscarriage as the baby from the future sat wrapped up in Selina’s pink snowsuit. He was a gift just like Sugar no matter where he came from.

Leon studied this little boy. His nose, oddly curved like Leon's even though that was done much later in life. Those big, color changing eyes that moved in all shades of blues and greens in a matter of moments were also Leon's. It was like he held himself in his hands.

“Lovely little muppet.” Leon’s head swam. Sunny kicked his legs a bunch of times and contorted himself so he could suck on Leon's wrist. He let out a ragged breath just as the baby had done with Honey. “γεια, η μικρή μου ηλιοφάνεια,” Leon whispered. Hello my little sunshine.

There wasn't any part of Honey in Nicklaus, not the way there was in Selina. Her mummy’s attitude and defiance and brown eyes that took in the world and sought how to knock it down and start again. Leon shut down the part of his brain screaming REPLICA!

“That sadistic Monopoly man from the FBI or CIA did this, didn't he. Reginald Hargreeves.” Leon wasn't asking Honey, he was telling. He suddenly held Sunny close to his chest. His chin rested on the little boy’s head protectively. Leon kissed his curls as he had done a million times with Sugar and his wife.

She nodded because even her bones sang with revelation. They couldn't speak further because just then Selina burst into view along with the other little girls. She sprung into the air and onto Tom's lap, not her papa’s. He grunted then smiled in his Kidman way which was unnerving to the untrained eye. The little girl patted his cheek then kissed it. Ever one to tame the savage beast.

“Mommy baked me a baby!” she cried.

“She sure did, dollface.” He wouldn’t question a thing for the rest of his life.

Now she forsook Kidman to crawl across her mummy to gawk at the baby nestled into Leon's chest. “Hello, poppet. Papa calls me that.”

Sugar wedged her finger in Sunny's grip. They considered one another with fascination. Then Sunny screamed and giggled happily before putting her finger in his mouth.

Now Selina squealed with excitement and yanked it back. They played a game of offering and sucking for a few moments before the little girl declared that Sunny belonged to her. She stuck up her chin with a look of pride and contentment with herself. With the situation.

“He's my baby. Ok?” Neither Honey nor Leon would ever argue with that.

----

Winter of 1973

Honey sat cross-legged on the floor beside the Christmas tree. Her impossibly long hair hung over her shoulder and wrapped around Sunny who sat in her lap. He absently sucked on a thumb while his free hand flexed and twisted around his mother’s thick mane. Little hands flickered their occasional blue while Honey hummed a carol under her breath.

Leon was stationed in a large comfy chair, his one foot slung over the side. His foot wobbled anxiously. A handful of old journals and papers spread out over his lap. Books that had showed up one day without a messenger. Papers Tom had smuggled out of the CIA from insiders. All leading back to the nefarious billionaire with a monocle that studied the husband and wife and claimed if they paid him in return, they would get off scot free. Even keep the cash.

Selina danced around the tree. The lights reflected off of the dress Honey had fashioned, at Leon's insistance, from the gift she made just six years ago. It matched the tiny vest Sunny now wore as he bounced and wiggled rhythmically so desperate to dance with Sugar.

“Mummy?” Selina spun in a circle and tossed garland at the tree haphazardly.

“Yes?”

“Sunny’s coming.”

“What? Coming where? He can toddle about like a drunken sailor.”

“Mummy! Not my baby brother. Big Sunny. He's coming for a visit. He looks so much like Papa, but sad.”

Honey and Leon exchanged frantic glances. The traveler, from the future. But how did Selina know? Her papa asked as much.

“Silly! Sometimes he sees us through the windows. He likes to watch you be Mummy and Papa to Sunny. That you are good to him. I saw him and he talked to me. He very much likes Mummy in a.. Daddy way? But also in a me and Sunny way. I told him be here for Christmas. Is he my Theíos? His name is Mouse. Mummy is that..”

“Topolino. His name is Klaus. Nicklaus like Sunny and Pappou. You are too little to understand, Sugar.”

Honey scooped her up too and cradled both of her children in her lap, kissing their foreheads. She looked at Leon who knitv his eyebrows in thought. Mouth agape with just the slight bit of perturbed on his lips. But a shock of wind and blue and magnetism outside the windows on the fire escape startled the Kostas parents into attention.

“HE'S HERE! TOPO IS HERE!” Selina bolted to the window which Klaus tentatively tapped on. Without permission from her parents, she let him in. She held his hand tight and dragged him to the center of the living room.

Klaus stood uncomfortably in front of Leon and Honey. His hair was as long as Honey’s and his beard to boot. He wore giant rose tinted sunglasses and a starfish necklace dangled against his bare chest. His clothes were blue and white, pants striped with it, and very.. ritualistic. Religious almost. Honey told herself he looked like Jesus had fucked George Harrison in Elton John’s closet.

“Happy Christmas?!” He held up a bottle of wine. “I came bearing a gift!”

“Ain't you a little early in The Savior’s journey to be looking like that?” Leon quipped.

“What? Oh this? I had to.. disperse an alternative lifestyle community.”

“A cult?” Honey questioned.

“A commune,” Klaus and Leon said simultaneously.

Honey shivered. “Either way,” she crossed her arms, “we've been expecting you. For two years.”

Tag: @neuroticpuppy @magic-multicolored-miracle @bisexualnathanyoung @forenschik @nightmonsters @vonkimmeren @maerenee930 @elliethesuperfruitlover @070188 @firstpersonnarrator @rob-private @messengeronthemoon @emelieislasheehan @super-unpredictable98 @frogs--are--bitches @duck-noises @the-freckled-luba @a-ghoulish-tale

[bangtan-madi]

noel on ice — kim namjoon

Pairing — Namjoon x Reader, feat. minor mention of Jungkook x OC

Genre — fluff, holiday, minor angst, mental health

Tags — strangers to lovers, figure skater!Namjoon, barista!MC, non-idol au, figure skater au, café au, holiday au

Word Count — 16k

Summary —  After sustaining a crushing defeat at the World Figure Skating Championships, falling from his perfect gold standard to his long-time rival, Kim Namjoon returns to South Korea with an unsure heart and accompanying injury. At the same time, Y/N is as far from home as she has ever been due to a falling out with her family, working as a barista at a café in Seoul while trying to finish her degree. As if by fate, the two meet, and Namjoon makes it his goal to make Y/N see the magic of the holidays -- one Christmas adventure across Seoul at a time. 

Warnings — minor language, brief anxiety attack, mentions of ptsd related symptoms

A/N — This year has been a very difficult one for us all. For my fic in this Christmas collab, I wanted to acknowledge all of that and give a little mental health break for everyone. All of our experiences have been different, but one thing we all have in common is that 2020 was unexpected, painful, and heavy. Please, no matter what holiday you celebrate, let yourself have as much rest and healing as you need. If this little, probably-needs-more-editing-than-I-had-time-for fic can help you get there — even just for the twenty minutes it takes to read — then my job is done ❤️ I love you all, and I know I speak for the others when I say I hope 2021 treats us all so much kinder, and I hope we learn to love ourselves in spite of our worlds around us.

Playlist — Link here.

Christmas Collaboration — this fic is a part of the Christmas Collab by @kooala (link coming soon!)

"Hey—Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Raising your head slightly, your eyes widening as you realize you've zoned out again, focusing on the snowfall outside instead of the next customer in line. The woman waving her hand in front of you is as foreign to South Korea as you are, but her expression is entirely that of an angry American. Her scowl has etched deep lines into her skin, where smile lines should be.

Unfortunately, her face is all too familiar. Usually it pays to be one of the only native English-speakers at your café; however, when Americans come in, you're the one pushes to take their orders and serve them.

Even the most difficult ones.

"S—Sorry, Ma'am," you mutter. Shaking your head, you force a customer-service smile. "I was just admiring the snowfall. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Oh, yeah," she retorts sarcastically. "So beautiful that it's making travel home nearly impossible. Can you please just make my drink so I can leave?"

"I—I didn't hear it, Ma'am. Can you repeat it please?"

While the woman rolls her eyes, she repeats her order swiftly, muttering something along the lines of, "Baristas these days, I swear to god," under her breath. "Make sure to get it right this time. Every time I come in and order a blended cappuccino, you guys end up giving me a latte, which is not what I ordered."

"And every time, we have to explain that all a latte is, is a blended cappuccin—"

"—I don't want to hear it!"

With a sigh, you ring up the total for the "blended cappuccino, not latte" and let the woman pay. From the sidelines, your co-worker Lisa stands with a glare and a tin of heated milk ready to go for your order.

"Ms. Blended cappuccino again?" she asks as you turn towards her with a note written in perfect Hangul.

You nod, running  a hand over your hair in frustration. "I hate being the only native bi-lingual person here. Means I get to deal with her every damn time."

Sensing your downtrodden spirit, Lisa pushes you out of the way, giving you a gentle shove towards the back room. "I got this one. Go take a breather in the back, okay?"

"But—"

"—Ah! No buts. I know enough English to get by."

From the front desk, the woman pipes up again, demanding her drink be made faster. Lisa marches past your, arms herself with the imaginary drink, and says in perfect English, "You're in Seoul now. Speak Korean."

Knowing Lisa can handle the absolute hell-spawn that is an angry American Karen, you turn your back to the drama and shuffle to the break room behind the "employees only" door. An exasperated breath escapes as you revel in the silence, pushing away the muffled café sounds on the other side of the door. Being the only one in the break room, you spot your favorite white chocolate mocha on the side table, with a smiley face sticky note indicating it's from Lisa beside it.

You smile gently at the sweet gesture, and shove the sticky note into your pocket as a reminder to yourself to thank her later.

Taking the mug between your overworked hands, you settle down on the window seat and watch the December sky slowly shift from violet to navy. The mocha is just slightly sweet with a hint of peppermint, just like you like it. It's almost enough to illicit the Christmas spirit lying dormant inside you.

There's something incredibly painful about this particular holiday season, you think to yourself as the cars pass swiftly on the street outside. The glittering lights, the beautiful carols, the crystalline snow — none of it feels the same as last year.  The holidays are supposed to be a time of comfort and renewal, but this year — after moving halfway around the world by yourself — your heart is starting to wonder if that part of you has died.

Maybe it's the loneliness you're feeling, or maybe it's the fact that you're so far away from home. Or maybe it's the fresh-in-your-mind arguments and falling out with your family over the summer. That bitter taste lingers still in the back of your throat, not unlike a dark espresso.  A Christmas season without your parents and siblings; you never thought living your own life and following your happiness could hurt so much. For better or worse, that nostalgic feeling family and friends bring is long gone. And now you're nostalgic for nostalgia itself; what kind of messed up feeling is that?

You've had twenty-four wondrous, magical holiday seasons. Is it part of growing up that your allotment of joyful Christmas days is limited?

Is twenty-five the year that the magic just...stops?

When the night sky becomes unchanging, the door to the café kitchen opens. Lisa peeks her head inside, side-bangs falling in her face. "How's the mocha? Did I get it right?"

You take the last sip with a grateful smile, then place the mug onto the coffee table. "You nailed it. Thank you, I needed that."

Pride swells in Lisa's chest, and her shoulders straighten as she enters the room. "Well, good news. Karen's gone," she announces, "and your favorite customer is here!"

"Who?"

Lisa places her hand horizontally at her hip-level. "About this tall? Loves peppermint hot choco?

Bolting from your seat, all your concerns are momentarily gone. Your co-worker doesn't have to utter another word to get you to exit the back room and reenter the kitchen.

Across the counter, a mop of black hair is barely visible. Dark brown eyes peer over the granite surface; they twinkle and shine at the sight of you. Tiny hands splay on the surface in an attempt to make the small child taller. He's around seven to eight years, you estimate. Nine or ten at the very most. Definitely not out of primary school. And he's your very favorite customer, because unlike most, this child comes in with a toothy grin almost every single day with enough money for a peppermint hot chocolate. He's never late, and he's never unhappy. If the Sun were to bless the world with a ray of sunshine in human form, this kid would be it.

"Ahjumma!" the little boy shouts, a grin plastered on his face.

Instead of having him crane his neck, you walk around the counter, bend down on one knee, and ignore the other customers behind him. Pulling one of the tiny baked goods from your apron pocket, you offer the sweet to the child with a wink.

"You're here awfully late, Yeongu. You're usually here right after school lets out. It's already after dark."

Yeongu digs through his pocket and pulls out several crumpled won, enough for his beverage of choice. "Tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break, so dad picked me up and took me skating. I'm with mom and her boyfriend for the rest of the month 'cause Dad's going to Busan with his new wife. I don't like her that much. She frowns too much. And she smells like soju and taffy."

You exchange the won for the baked treat, laughing softly as you invite the boy onto the corner table nearest the hot chocolate machines. "You don't like taffy, do you?"

He makes a face and takes a big bite of the delicacy. "My teacher tells us that if we eat taffy, it will help us remember things. I ate too much of it last year, and now I hate it. Dad's new wife must always be forgetting things, because she always smells like it!"

After finishing the simple drink, you slide the mug across the table and plop down in the seat across from the small boy. "So does this mean I won't get to see you until after Christmas?"

Yeongu shakes his head. "I'll be by tomorrow after. Mom wanted to visit my cousin before we left. He's back in town for Christmas, and we haven't seen him in a long time."

"Oh? What does he do?"

"Sports."

At that, the boy changes the conversation. "What are you doing for Christmas, Ahjumma?"

"Yeah, Ahjumma," Lisa pipes up after serving the final to-go customer for the night. She flips the sign on the front door and turns back to the two of you, hand on her hip. "What are you doing for your first Christmas in Korea?"

Shrugging slightly, you turn your attention back to the small child across from you. "I'll probably spend the day with Mochi — my cat — probably studying so I'll be ahead in the new year for my next classes." Lisa gives an empathetic look at the mention of your kitten, which causes you to roll your eyes playfully. "Don't give me that look! I'll be fine. Probably best for me to have a relaxed, non-hectic couple of days. This year has been a rough one."

"That sounds sad," Yeongu states bluntly, earning a snicker from Lisa.

"Kid's right. Absolutely dreadful, [Y/n]. What a lame Christmas."

"What about you, then? Do you have any plans for Christmas?"

At the question, Lisa's smirk drops and she perks up. "Well, I'm sure you know, but Christmas in Korea is pretty different from America," Lisa reminds you, and you nod your acknowledgement. "It's more of a couple holiday, so my boyfriend Jungkook and I are planning to take the week off and do a ton of holiday activities together. Mostly outdoors stuff. Y'know, snowboarding, skiing, snowball fights — the usual."

"Sounds like a blast," you laugh.

"Oh, it will be." She gives a wink, then nods to Yeongu. "Are we about done here? I need to head out if you're okay with locking up for the night."

You give a wave of approval as the child nears the end of his glass. "I got this. Say hello to Jungkookie for me."

Lisa flashes a set of extravagant finger hearts before disappearing into the back, where she gathers her personal items and exits out the rear entrance. In her absence, Yeongu tugs on your sleeve and holds up an empty mug.

"Thank you for the hot choco, Ahjumma," he grins, showing the dark stain on his upper lip.

Taking the mug, you use the edge of your apron to clean the mess from his face. "If you come by tomorrow before you leave with your Eomma, I'll make you another with extra peppermint, okay?"

The boy's smile grows, and he hops up from the table with a swift bow. "I'll be here!" He heads for the door with a skip in his step.

"Will you get home all right?" you call after him.

Yeongu turns and grins. "I will, don't worry, Ahjumma!"

And then he's gone, out the door in a rush of energy and giggles towards his home nearby. You merely shake your head; there's no point in going after him now.

Soon after, you're following in his step. It doesn't take you long to clean up. By the time you lock up and exit out the back, snow has begun to fall. You brave the cold, tugging your coat tighter around you, burying your face into your scarf. The journey to the subway is short, and your feet take you quickly. Even still, you stare upward at the snowy clouds in hope that they might spark a semblance of Christmas joy in your heart.

Tonight, like every other night, nothing changes.

You heave a sigh, and the breath billows out as a visible fog as you enter the station. Going through the motions to get to your apartment is easy. A swipe of a card, a short ride to the edge of the neighborhood, and a trek up the set of stairs. Once through the door, you're greeted by a mewing shadow of a cat.

"Hi, my baby girl," you greet with a soft smile, bending down to scratch the tiny fur ball behind the ears. The black cat rubs her chin against your palm and follows you when you waltz to the kitchen. "You hungry?"

As if responding, "Yes!" Mochi speeds up and meows a bit louder than last time.

Her antics bring a smile to your face as you turn on the television for background noise. You find the nearest Korean news station, finding the program in the middle of a report on Korea's favorite rap duo and their upcoming tour: Suga and J-Hope. Your intention with the selection is two-fold — first, to continue to enhance your skills of the Korean language, and two, to continue learning about the culture and world of your new home. While you had extensive knowledge of both before moving to Seoul — despite the process being rather quick due to the fallout with your family — nothing compares to being immersed in the country itself.

As the musical entertainment section ends, you begin pulling ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard. "What do you think sounds good, Mochi? How about teokbokki?" The black cat perches her paws on your right leg, purring pleasantly. "I agree, sounds great after a long day."

You toss a bag of rice cakes onto the counter as the news changes to sports. Even as you prepare the sauce for the meal, you actively listen to the voices in the background.

"Unfortunately, RM Nam's ice skating season has been cut short due to an unforeseen injury he sustained during practice this summer. At the time, the damage to his shoulder seemed unnoticed by the athlete and his coach. However, as we saw earlier this October at the Grant Prix Series: Skate America, Mr. Nam's mishap on the ice turned out to be far more damaging than originally thought. Thus, the position representing South Korea at the next in the series, Skate Canada, was shifted to his rival, Kim Seokjin, and RM Nam returned home to Seoul to recover."

You can't but help a glance up at the screen. The skater in question has his back turned to the cameras as he heads into the airport. Behind his sunglasses, mask, and beanie, he offers a polite smile and wave to the reporters. Moments later, his coach guides him into the building, out of sight.

"That doesn't sound fun," you mutter to yourself as the report moves onto politics.

After you finish cooking, you plate yourself a portion and move into the living room. Besides the tiny tan sofa and the television propped up on a box, most of the room is bare. There are a handful of boxes strewn across the apartment of the few things you either had shipped from the States or that you bought in your six months since then, but for the most part, you've been putting off all of it. Most of your time is spent at work or at school; you haven't had the time, energy, or motivation to do any of it. Even at Christmas, despite Lisa gifting you with your very own tiny tree and twinkle lights to spread across the home, you've yet to unpack any of it. The tree remains in the slender box beside the TV, and you doubt it will go up this year at all.

Heaving a sigh at the thought, you turn the channel to VIKI put on your favorite drama. This particular one is a reincarnation plot with two male leads played by Korea's golden boys: Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung. Paired with the bowl of teokkboki in your lap and the kitten curled to your side, it's enough to drag you thoughts out of homesickness and back to the present.

This might just have to be the Christmas you forget and hope that the next year is a kinder one.

A lot changed in your life this year. In some ways, the changes were good. In others, not so much. Most of the turbulent times were in the heat of the summer, but things began slowing down once you moved to South Korea in September. You were now away from toxic family members, away from a life you never wanted, and looking ahead to an uncertain but certainly hopeful future.

In late October, the seasons began changing for the better — and not just in the physical sense of the falling leaves and cooler breeze. Lisa was right about your favorite customer; it truly was little Yeongu. However, there was another that you looked forward to seeing, just as much as the elementary school boy.

This person was older, around your age, with a deeply dimpled smile that made your stomach flutter. Eyes as slender as his body proportions, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't an attractive man. Hair the color of the snowflakes he walked through, eyes the color of the beverage he'd always order, skin the color of warmth in a cozy fireplace. Even his voice was warm and deep; at every conversation, while you are completely fluent in Korean, you find yourself just wanting to listen to the soft timbre.

Over time, this man — whose name you'd quickly learn was Kim Namjoon — became a regular at your little coffee shop. He'd come in at the oddest hours, either super early or super late. Hours you often worked alone, when there were fewer customers. Every time, he'd strike up a conversation as you took his order and crafted his beverage of choice (a heavy coffee brewed dark and bitter, with just a splash of cream and almond whip.) He was sweet, and eventually you opened up. He'd hang around the counter long after the transaction was completed, sometimes until another customer stole your attention away. It didn't take long for you to realize that he was far more than merely a pretty face.

In those weeks leading up to December, you found yourself smiling a bit more. Joking a bit more. Shoulders lightening a bit more. You looked forward to the increasingly insistent days where he'd waltz in — sometimes covered in raindrops, sometimes in crisp leaves, sometimes in snowflakes — always a crystal blue umbrella under his arm and a charcoal grey scarf around his neck.

It's the same person standing at the entrance now, the man currently shaking the rain from his umbrella and platinum locks. Lisa gives you a smirk as she nods her head towards the register and steps away from the counter, as if silently saying, "You're up, m'lady. Holler if you need me; I'll be doing an order in the back."

You brush your hair back into proper place, display a genuine smile, and take your stance behind the register. When Namjoon's eyes meet yours, his smile deepens and creates dimples on either side of his mouth.

After the customer in front of him pays and leaves with his order in hand, you greet him with a simple, "You haven't been in, in over a week. Finally trying to break your caffeine addiction?"

Namjoon gives a deep laugh and shakes his head. "Not in the slightest. I like being able to function as an adult in society, thank you very much." He pulls out several won from his wallet. "I'll have..."

"The usual?"

He cocks an eyebrow. "You remember?"

"Of course," you grin, and type his drink of choice into the register. Taking his money, you add, "How could I forget your order after the hilarious reaction when I suggested a mint mocha?"

The boy thinks back to the first day he walked into the café, and recalls that conversation with a groan. "Oh god, was I that bad?"

Handing him his change, you tap your chin and reply, "Well, maybe a bit. I'd never seen someone so horrified at the idea of mint chocolate."

Namjoon rubs the back of his neck with an awkward smile. "Sorry about that. Pretty terrible at hiding my disdain for that flavor combo."

"No worries! Made me laugh."

Seeing that there are no other customers behind him, you turn to the brewing station and usher Namjoon to take a seat on the bar stool across the counter. It's a position you've taken several times before. When the customers are low, as they are at this hour of evening, the platinum-haired man tends to linger and converse far after his drink is finished.

"What brings you in today? Just wanted a pick-me-up or?"

Namjoon heaves a sigh. He watches you closely but casually, silently admiring the skillful way you begin to brew the dark beverage. "I've had a lot on my mind lately, and coming here always helps me de-stress."

"Coffee helps you relax?" You can't help but chuckle at the sentiment.

"And the company."

Heat rushes to your face, and when you glance up to meet his gaze, the warmth only increases. "You're smooth, Kim Namjoon. Very smooth."

Brown eyes widen, and he bows his head so that his bangs cover his eyes. "That's not what I meant at all!"

"Calm down, you're fine. Wanna talk about what's on your mind, though?"

In all your conversations, the two of you have only ever talked on the shallow surface of various topics. You don't know much about Namjoon, and he doesn't know much about you — despite having shared extremely vague information about your year, your jobs, and your education. You feel very open with him, but most of the time, those conversations can't be had in a fifteen minute discussion at a café.

"It's a long, complicated story. I'm not sure you'd wanna hear it." He raises his hands defensively as he realizes how his words might be construed. "Not that you wouldn't understand! I just wouldn't want to be a downer."

You select the cold brew setting on the machine and let the device begin to whir to life. "Well, I've got at least the time it takes to make your drink. I'm all ears."

Namjoon shakes his head as he settles his elbows on the counter. "You're persistent."

"Honey, I've been called far worse."

Seeing your eagerness, your companion heaves a sigh and shifts his gaze from you to the window at his right. As be begins to speak, his demeanor falls a bit. He's not as happy-go-lucky; there's an err of anxiety about him that you can't quite nail down. "I've been thinking about a change in career recently. Things haven't been unfolding this year like I wanted...and I'm starting to think I'm not meant to do what I'm doing now. Maybe I need to retire — from this industry, I mean, and move on to another."

Even with that small confession, you can't help but mirror his emotions. "I hear you. I've felt similar feelings this year."

His gaze shifts back to yours, and he tilts his head in surprise. "Really? How so?"

"I told you I moved to Seoul in September, right?" Namjoon nods. "That's because I wanted a...a fresh start. I enrolled in Yonsei University, got a job here, and just...moved."

"That's pretty brave, and that's really awesome you're at Yonsei. They're a fantastic school."

"Thanks," you grin whilst popping the canister of cold brew out from under the brewing machine. "I needed to get away from certain people in my life that weren't letting me move forward, so moving was the best choice." You pour the dark beverage into a small mixer and pull out the vanilla creamer. "Sure you don't want mint this time? Last chance."

Namjoon cocks an eyebrow as a silent challenge; the expression makes you giggle to yourself as you pour the very non-mint add-ins. "Hilarious."

"Hey! Just offering." After giving the mixture a whisk, your smile falters.

Nothing gets by the observant person across the counter. "I feel like your story has a 'but' after what you ended with."

"You're good," you reply, gesturing to him with the handheld whisk. "I'm not talking too much, am I?"

Namjoon shakes his head adamantly and flourishes with his hand for you to continue. "I mean, we're practically friends now. Please, go on."

Reassured by both his calming nature and genuine interest, you continue talking. "But after getting here...let's just say it's hard to make friends and get out there in a country where you look so different, where your language isn't native, and where you know literally no one. So...ah, this year's been a pretty lonely one, and I know I still made the right choice, but now that the holidays are here..." You trail off and offer a small smile. "All that to say, I know what it's like to second-guess yourself and not have things go the way you thought."

"Seems we have a lot in common," he chuckles, leaning his chin on his hand.

The comment causes the mood to lighten, and you let a laugh slip out. "Yeah, seems so."

Before the conversation can continue, the front door opens. Yeongu enters, a couple of other customers behind him. As if on cue, Lisa enters from the back room and greets the adults with a smile and a swift, "Hi, welcome! What can I get you this evening?"

As the child approaches the adjacent counter where you stand, his grin widens. You perch your elbows on the counter and lean over. "How's my favorite customer?"

"I'm finally free from school, Ahjumma!" Yeongu cheers loudly.

"Congrats! I'm sure you're relieved." He nods affirmatively. "t's freezing outside. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, I promise. But can I get a mint hot choco?" He holds up a crumpled bill with a toothy grin.

"Of course, you can. Extra mint, just like I promised." You nod towards the seat closest to the window. "Sit in your usual spot, okay? After I get this nice man his coffee, I'll get your hot chocolate."

As Namjoon turns to look at the child, Yeongu's eyes widen in surprise. "Namjoon-hyung! I didn't know you were here."

Much to your shock, Namjoon reciprocates the affection and hops down from his chair to bend down to Yeongu's level. "Yeon-ie!" He teases the boy by ruffling up his hair, which Yeongu scowls at him for.

"Um... You two know each other?"

"Yep!" Yeongu grins. "He's my cousin, the one I told you about yesterday."

"Oooh, that makes sense. Didn't realize my two favorite customers were related."

Yeongu laughs at the comment and hops into the chair beside Namjoon. "But I'm your favorite customer, right?"

"Of course," you tease, flashing him a playful wink.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Ahjumma, can I please have mine in a to-go cup? Mom told me to come right home so we can finish packing for our trip."

"Of course, give me just a second to get you a lid." You turn to your first customer with an apologetic smile. "Namjoon, I'm almost done with yours. Just give me a moment."

"Actually, do you mind putting mine in a to-go cup as well?" He jerks his thumb towards Yeongu. "I should probably walk him home. He lives just around the corner from me. I'd feel better if I did."

"Oh, sure, I can do that."

"Would you walk with us, Ahjumma? Pleeeease?"

Your gaze moves to Namjoon. "Do you mind?"

The elder cousin hops up from his chair, shaking his head adamantly. "Not at all! Can you?"

"Sure, I'm about at the end of my shift anyway! Let me grab my coat. I'll come with." You turn quickly to Lisa, murmuring, "Can you watch—?"

She cuts you off with a wave of her hand. "—Go! I can close up for the night. But if you don't come back with a date planned, the invitation to spend New Years with Jungkookie and me is rescinded."

With a playful eye-roll, you peck her on the cheek and run to the back for your coat. Once you return, you find Namjoon scuffling Yeongu's dark locks with a dimpled smile. Looking back up as you return, the expression doesn't falter.

"Ready?"

You nod and follow behind through the exit, trying to ignore the wink and dual thumbs-ups Lisa flashes you as you pass.

Once on the street, Yeongu walks ahead of you and Namjoon. The first few minutes are silent between you two. From ahead, you can hear the small child talking to himself, or perhaps his hot chocolate, and then occasionally to the adults.

As you cross the busy street, Namjoon clears his throat. "So...you have any plans for Christmas?"

You scoff under your breath and shake your head. "Why does this topic keep coming up?"

"Hope I didn't offend," he laughs. "Yeongu said something about a café girl not having plans last night. I figured it was you."

"Trust me, you're good. But yeaaah. Kinda new to Korea. I spent the fall settling in and trying to start over. Between work and school, didn't expect much. Holidays sneaked up on me, I guess."

There's a pause as the trio rounds the corner. Yeongu finishes his hot cocoa along the way and hands the empty cup to Namjoon. The elder doesn't even hesitate to take it, and the boy rushes ahead to what you assume is his home. Over his shoulder, he shouts, "Thank you for the choco, Ahjumma!"

You grin widely and wave. "You're welcome!"

Yeongu turns to Namjoon, sticks out his tongue in a playful manner, then disappears into his house.

"Aaand that's the thanks I get." Namjoon rolls his eyes and turns his body towards you, giving you his full attention as the sun sets behind Seoul Tower. "I have a crazy idea."

"Oh, really?" You cross your arms over your chest and cock an eyebrow. "Those are my favorite kind of ideas."

"Cheesy," he grins. "Well...I don't have any plans either. Maybe we spend it together?"

"No plans, huh? Do I look that pitiful?"

"No! No, it's not that at all, god." Namjoon's smirk falls from his face as a horrified expression drowns out any humor. "Sorry if that's how it came off. I just—You seem really nice, and it's been a while since either of us just enjoyed someone else's company. No strings. No pressure."

Tugging your lower lip between your teeth, you shuffle in your step. "I don't know, Namjoon..."

"Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I hate to see anyone's shoulders so heavy in December. How about this — give me three days to prove the magic isn't lost."

"Three days? That's it?"

"That's it."

"Okay then, Mr. Kim." You offer a hand in his direction. "Three days."

Namjoon's eyes lock with yours, as does his hand. "It's a deal."

The following weekend you wake to a phone call coming in from your recently-added number. Rolling out from under the covers to grab the device from the nightstand, you answer with voice still groggy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Are you still sleeping?" the caller laughs in a deep timbre.

"Shuddup." Peaking an eye open, the time on the screen reads just after eleven a.m. "It's not that late."

"Really?"

"Did you call me just to make fun of my lack of healthy sleep schedule, or did you have a point?"

"Ouch!” Namjoon exclaims playfully. “I actually did call, and it's actually perfect because I don't need you ready to go until around three this afternoon. So you can totally just go back to sleep."

You curl back under your heated blanket and revel in the warmth it provides. Beside you, Mochi curls closer, nearly sitting on your head. "Mmm sounds perfect. Wait—what?"

"You heard me." There's a hint of teasing in Namjoon's words. "It's Day 1. Be ready for an outdoor adventure by three. I'll pick you up then, okay sleepyhead?"

The butterflies rumble in your stomach at the nickname, and you clear your throat before replying. "Yep, got it. Three p.m. Outdoor adventure. Can't you tell me what it is or where we're going?"

"And ruin the surprise? No way. Just trust me, Jagi."

A squeak slips out, and you throw your hand over your mouth to hide it. "Okay, see you there—I mean then!"

You can almost hear Namjoon shaking his head as he says his goodbyes and ends the call. Despite still being sleepy and warm and cozy in your nest, you lie wide awake in bed for the next half-hour, replaying his voice over and over in your head like a well-loved record.

The day flies by, and eventually it's approaching three. You've dressed to impress while still trying to keep it casual. Despite this being a date, it's still casual. You like Namjoon a lot, and you hope he likes you as well. However, outside of conversations at the café, you haven't spent a lot of time together yet. This is as good a second-first impression as any, and you intend to make the most of it.

Grabbing your winter coat and scarf, you scurry down the stairs and spot Namjoon lingering by the entrance with two cups in his hands. He's dressed in jeans and a sweater with a dark grey jacket over top, his usual scarf looped twice around his neck. A beanie covers his head, but bits of his platinum hair still stick out in places. Slung across his shoulder is a brown leather backpack. He always looks nice, that much you know, but the fact that today he looks nice for you makes you sickly happy.

He flashes a smile as you bound out the door. "You look rested," he teases, then offers you one of the cups.

Taking it with a nose scrunch, you look down at the order on the side, seeing that it's your usual order. "How did you know!"

He shrugs. "I have my ways."

"Was it Lisa?"

"Maybe..." He straightens up and nods his chin towards the nearby station. "Follow me for our first adventure!"

After boarding the train to Itaewon, you can't help but wonder where he might be taking you. Your mind goes through all of the things to do in Itaewon, but the list is lengthy. From his excited and proud expression, you know Namjoon has been looking forward to this all day, just as you have.

After exiting fifteen minutes down the line, Namjoon reaches for your free hand. "May I...?"

Your fingers close the distance, glove-covered palm clasping his. "Lead the way."

Namjoon grins, then tugs on your hand as you exit the station. Once outside in the frigid air, you see your breath come out in puffs of fog. You tighten your scarf around your neck and allow your companion to usher you down the sidewalk, towards a clearing in the colorful buildings of Itaewon-do.

Another block or so, and you see the direction in which he's heading. A large sign along the way reads, "Grant Hyatt Seoul Ice Rink" in bold Hangul. Your eyes widen as the realization hits you, and the excitement inside you grows. "How did you know I've wanted to go ice skating!"

Namjoon shuffles up to the ticket counter, replying over his shoulder, "Um...lucky guess?"

As he purchases your tickets, you take a moment to absorb your surroundings.  The trees are glowing from the lights covering every branch and trunk. They surround the rink and give a glow from within that is so much softer and more intimate than the harsh lighting of the city. The Hyatt Hotel stands as a black silhouette against the horizon. In the opposite direction, you can see N. Seoul Tower already lit up as the afternoon lighting shifts to evening. Projectors shine shapes of glittering snowflakes across the ice, giving another layer of ambient lighting to the rink.

"I haven't been since I was a kid," you add, staring at the exterior of the open-air rink with awe. Namjoon hands you the ticket, which you use for entrance and skates before shoving it into your jacket pocket. "Have you ever been before?"

"Yeah, a...few times. Hey, what size shoe are you?" When you tell him, Namjoon grabs a pair of skates from the shelf beside the ticket booth and gestures for you to sit on the bench across from it. "It can be tricky to lace your skates properly," he commentates as he kneels down in front of you and begins to untie your boots. "It's really something you have to adjust yourself, so let me know when I'm close?"

Not having any words to respond at his sudden closeness, you nod the affirmative and watch in silence as he puts one boot to the side, slips the skate on with ease, and begins to adjust the laces like a professional. After repeating the movements with your other skate, he taps your knee and looks up at you.

"Too loose? You want them to be as tight as you can handle to keep your ankles steady."

Moving your feet, you shake your head from side to side. "A bit more. I'd hate to have Day 1 turn into a trip to the E.R."

"Definitely, nothing says ‘Christmas magic’ like an emergency room visit," he laughs, adjusting your laces as you requested. "How's that?"

"Much better, thank you."

After lacing up your skates as tight as you can handle, Namjoon stands and offers you an arm. He helps you waddle over to the entrance, gently sliding you onto the ice despite your shaky knees and flailing arms. You soon realize that it might be best to hold tight to the barrier and stick only to the periphery.

He doesn't follow you on at first. When you turn and look back for him, he waves you on. "You go ahead. I need to grab my skates first."

"Mmm fine, but if I break my neck trying to catch your ass, you're paying for ramen after. Got it?"

Namjoon gives you two thumbs ups as he lets you go onto the ice. "Loud and clear."

Eventually, you begin tugging yourself along, trying but failing to keep up with the traffic of more experienced skaters. Even compared to those half your age, or even less, you're the child on this rink.

About half-way around the rink, you spot Namjoon making his way towards the entrance. Waving your hand, your smile widens when he sees you. He waves back, nearly bumps into the person ahead of him at the gate, and you murmur to yourself, "This should be good."

Namjoon hits the ice. He's not like the barreling disaster you are, but like a graceful swan. It catches you off-guard; if anything, you expected him to fall flat on his face or tumble over a child on his way over to you on the opposite side. He needs no assistance from the railing, nor does he struggle to cross the center and come to a full stop in front of you. His skates make a graceful scraping sound, and his stance is one of a professional. Even his skates are different than yours; they're custom, and you realize that must've been what he was carrying in his backpack.

You assume the awestruck look on your face is the reason for his smirk and laughter. He does a spin for dramatic affect as he closes the distance between you. "Surprised?"

"For starters! How the hell are you so graceful? You're literally twirling around on one foot on a frictionless surface, and I can barely make a left turn!"

The platinum blond gives you a look like you're still missing the point, then extends his hand. "C'mon, I can help you more than the railing can."

"Promise not to sue me if I break your face by crashing into you?"

"Promise, now grab my hand and skate!"

Your hands in his, you take the leap of faith and separate from the barrier around the oblong rink. Namjoon slowly skates backwards, carrying you the whole way. Your eyes remain glued to your trembling feet, careful not to have the blades deviate too far out to one side or the other.

"Look at you!" he cheers, ever the positive one. "A whole two minutes on your feet."

"Shut up."

You won't deny that your progress surprises even you. Despite having to hold both his hands for the first ten minutes, then eventually one as you skate side-by-side for the following half-hour, you're more adept at skating than you thought you would be.

"You think you can try on your own for a lap?" he inquires.

Giving a hesitant nod, you let go of Namjoon's hand, saying, "Don't leave my side, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Taking a deep breath in, you push one skate out in front of the other and move yourself forward. The other follows after, and you get about twenty feet before you stumble and nearly fall face-first. Luckily, Namjoon keeps his promise and wraps his arms around your waist before you crash.

"Good try!" he exclaims, keeping his arms around your middle even after you regain your balance. "You got pretty far, actually."

You give an awkward chuckle and lay your nervous hands over his at your hip. "Maybe I'm not quite ready for a free-skate yet."

"No worries." He lets his arms drop and retakes your hand to steady you. The dimples appear next to his smile as he adjusts your beanie on your head, which had nearly fallen off in your almost-fall. "But I gotta say, you didn't have to fall for me on Day 1."

"So smooth!" You roll your eyes and give his shoulder a playful shove, only to gasp and reach back for him when he naturally skates backwards at the push. "Nevermind, I take it back. Please don't leave me in the middle of the rink."

Namjoon lets out a loud laugh, nearly doubling over as you cling to him. "You're so cute."

As you skate together, you keep getting the feeling that Namjoon has spent far more time on the ice than you previously assumed. After you get the hang of it yourself and are able to wobble along beside him without a constant hand to hold, he smiles a proud, wide smile.

"See? I knew you could do it!"

You raise your eyebrows at him. "Still nowhere near close to you."

"That's what a lot of people say," he brushes it off.

"Way to brag there, Joon," you snort, then immediately freeze in place so suddenly that you nearly fall over again. "Wait—you don't mind if I call you that, do you?"

Namjoon's smile shows his dimples, and they deepen with his reply. "Not a bit." The song changes, playing the symphonic piece "Noel on Ice." Namjoon's face lights up, and he turns back to you with a wink. "Watch me?"

Nodding affirmatively, you release his hand and let him skate towards the center of the rink. His gaze remains on you as he spins to a stop in the middle, then turns his gaze downwards. Arms still at his sides, and his shoulders straighten. You await with bated breath for the next note.

The melody lifts, and Namjoon's arms follow suit. Piano notes drip across the chilled air, and the violin prompts an extension of his hands upwards. Then he moves, gracefully flowing from one movement to the next, as if this has been an ice dance built into his very being. The harp and cello urge him to move faster, spinning like a dancer across their stage.

Namjoon spins into the air, fully coming off the ice. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth out of fear, but he lands it with ease, shifting into his next series of steps like a professional. Flawless and practiced, he's caught the attention of everyone at the rink. As you look around, you see everyone else focused intently on the skater. Some even have their phones out to record. Not just one or two people, either; you see at least a half dozen with their cameras trained on Namjoon.

That in particular has you perplexed. Brows pulling together, you shift your eyes back to Namjoon. The piece is nearing its close, and he's moved back to the center of the ice. Twirling in place, he's moving like a spinning top. Always in a single place, so fast you can barely see, gracefully shaving ice under him so that snowflakes fall around him. He lowers, nearly sitting as he continues to twirl on one foot. The music grows to its crescendo. Slowly, he rises up and extends his hands towards the sky.

And then it hits you.

There's a reason why his face, his voice, and his presence is so familiar to you. You couldn't put your finger on it until just now, but the way he moves on the ice like he's the only one in the room — like it's a second home — brings you back to one of the first days you had in Seoul. That first day, at the Incheon Airport, the man you saw being bombarded with press and fans. Then again on the screens in the lobby of the immigration center. And again a few nights ago on the news.

RM Nam. South Korea's pride and joy, their greatest skater, the man bound for the Winter Olympics until a training injury earlier in the year put him out for the season. You're not into sports, but even you knew him by name and the tragedy that had occurred.

That legendary skater was the one in front of you now. He hadn't mentioned it, and you didn't suspect a thing until today. While definitely a shock, you can't help but be in awe of him even more. He isn't just good on the ice — he's like nothing you've ever seen.

As the music comes to a close, Namjoon skates to a halt. His spin finishes, and he ends with a ending pose bow. Clearly out of breath and shoulders heaving, his gaze shifts to you once again. Your smile widens, and you throw your hands up as you cheer. The others around you begin to clap, but you're by far the most enthusiastic one there.

Suddenly, Namjoon's persona returns to that of a shy and humble one. He bows again in the directions of the viewers, then scurries out from the center and back to you. Eventually, those around you begin to skate once more, ignoring the fact that one of the biggest sports icons in all of Korea is among them.

Namjoon runs a hand over his bleached hair, his smile sweet and his eyes a little nervous as he approaches. You shake your head in awe, letting a surprised laugh slip out.

"Okay, I see exactly what you're doing now. You suggested ice skating because you're Olympic-level! That's totally cheating, by the way."

Namjoon skids to a stop in front of you, as graceful as his takeoff. Without thinking, you reach your hand for his, which he gladly takes. "Figured it out finally, did you?"

"Call me stupid, but I honestly didn't see it until just now." You shove his shoulder with your free hand, only encouraging his teasing reaction. "RM: Guessing that's a stage name?"

He adjusts the beanie over his hair and gives an affirmative gesture. "Yeah, mainly to protect my privacy. Skating world can get pretty intense, sometimes."

You move your chin towards his shoulder, recalling that's where the injury occurred over the summer. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, totally okay. I go to PT a couple times a week. Mostly healed up, just can't compete for another few months. My coach has made me swear off skating until the New Year, but I figured it was worth throwing a little extra into trying to impress a pretty girl." He tilts his head to the side, rubbing the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "Did it work?"

Instead of responding verbally, you curl your finger towards you, a mischievous smile on your face. Namjoon lowers his head and skates closer to you. When he's within arm's reach, you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. A giggle slips out as his eyes widen and his cheeks flush.

"So... Is that a yes?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, throwing your arms in the air and nearly falling over for the hundredth time that night.

Namjoon returns the chaste gesture to your temple as he helps you recover your balance. "Skate with me some more then?" he murmurs, adjusting your scarf around your neck with gentle fingers.

Your face hot and your stomach fluttery, you nod your response and loop your arm around his. "Only if you show me how to do that fancy twirl there at the end."

The idea has Namjoon laughing loudly. "That's my variation on the basic Scratch Spin, which took me about three months to nail perfectly in a routine."

"Then you'd better prepare to be here 'til February!"

After skating for hours, until both of you are exhausted and ready for food, Namjoon takes you to a nearby ramen shop that's close to the train station. It's a hole-in-the-wall, with less than five tables, but with ramen you're able to find a park bench and settle down there with your backs to the city lights and your eyes on the stars overhead. You each mostly in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the delicious food. You make sure to tell your companion how great the choice was, and you insist on coming back again soon.

After wrapping up the meal and seeing the late hour on your phone, Namjoon suggests you both start heading home. "Hate to have to take a bus at this hour instead of the last train," he snickers.

Fully in agreement, you let him take your hand again as the pair of you begin to walk back home. First on the train, then on the sidewalk the short distance to your apartment building.

As you turn the corner onto your short street, your apartment in sight, you rest your head against Namjoon's shoulder and sigh happily. "Thank you for today. It was just...magical."

"Christmas magic?"

You nod against his jacket, wistful and content. "Definitely."

Stopping outside your apartment, you turn towards him, not letting go of his hand. Namjoon gives you a content smile as he looks at you, one where his eyes glisten at his coming words. "Then I have a chance."

"At what?"

He reaches yet again for your scarf, moving it from around your lower face so he can cradle it in his hands. "Restoring your hope in the holidays, and your hope in yourself and your choices."

"Ooof, that's getting ahead of it, I think." You bite the inside of your cheek as a small tug of anxiety and sense of being lost pulls at the back of your mind.

But Namjoon is relentless in his pursuit, and for that you're grateful. "That's why I have two more days planned."

"Already?" you laugh.

"You bet!" he exclaims. "In fact, I'll pick you up at nine on Saturday, but don't wear a dress or skirt. Are you free then?"

"For you, absolutely."

His teeth show through his grin, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyebrows. The gesture is gentle and sweet, made even more so by the warmth of his hands on your cheeks through his gloves. Nevertheless, it leaves you breathless.

After a moment of silence, he pulls away and lowers his grasp, but you crave the contact as soon as he relinquishes it. He nods towards your apartment, as if saying, "I'm not leaving until you're home safe."

You take the hint and give a tiny wave as you enter your building. "Have a great night, Joonie," you whisper through the cracked door. "And thanks again."

Namjoon waves back. "Goodnight, [Y/n]. Sleep well."

Saturday can't come quickly enough. You find yourself smiling more often, a joyful feeling in your heart as you go about your work shift and college classes. Even the smallest and insignificant things feel a little easier. The weather wasn't just cold anymore; it was full of beauty and hope and Christmas spirit.

Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe he was helping you turn a corner.

Right before you're ready to head downstairs to meet Namjoon at the entrance, your phone begins to buzz. Lit up on the screen is an international number, but the area code is that of your old home. The butterflies of excitement die almost instantly, shriveling up into tiny balls of anxiety in your stomach.

Even though you ignore the call, you can't resist listening to the voicemail left behind. Putting your phone on speaker, you're shocked to hear your mother's voice wishing you a Merry Christmas, saying that she and the family miss you, and that they wished you would visit so you could clear up everything that went wrong over the summer. Your throat constricts at the sickly sweet tone; her voice always did drip in honey when she wanted something, she she was trying to manipulate her child. Between her conniving control and your father's lack of respect for privacy and personal boundaries, you remember all over again why you left.

You jump as your apartment bell rings, and the small screen by the door shows Namjoon at the entrance. "[Y/n], are you up there? I texted twice...not sure if you got those."

Looking down at your screen, you see that he's right. You have two unread texts from the last five minutes that you missed due to the unexpected caller. Shaking yourself out of it, you shoot him a quick response, close everything out, and head for the ground level.

"There you are!" Namjoon greets with a grin that almost makes you forget your mother's call.

Almost.

Forcing a smile and reply, "Sorry, I don't know why I didn't see your texts."

"No worries." He waves his hand as if to say it's nothing to worry about. "Are you okay? You seem bothered about something."

You glance up at him, unable to deny he looks slightly concerned. You mirror his laissez-faire attitude and brush it off. "Totally good. Heading to the station?"

"Not this time." Namjoon gestures towards the bike parked by the corner of the building. "You ready to go?"

"Both of us, on that? Are you sure that's safe?"

"Oh yeah! Trust me." He kicks the stand down and mounts the bike, patting the extended seat behind him. "I once rode up Namsan Mountain with Seokjin on the back of this thing, and let me tell you, he's a hell of a lot bigger than you."

Knowing he's probably right, you settle yourself on the seat behind him and wrap your arms tightly around his middle. It's probably not the most well-balanced thing in the world, but you trust Namjoon more than you buy into your fear of falling. "No skirts or dresses, huh?"

"Now you get it," he laughs, pulling out onto the bike lane on the street headed into towards the older side of the city. "Unless you'd like a wardrobe malfunction."

He picks up speed and gets to an easy pace down the street. It's fast enough to get to your location speedily but slow enough that you're able to stare at the beautiful buildings and wondrous landscape around you. Even the people have an aura of happiness caused by Christmas. Had it always been this stunning? Or had you been blind to it until just now?

"Seokjin, as in Kim Seokjin, your rival?"

"So you do watch the news," he sighs. "They aren’t portraying us as friends these days, are they?"

You shake your head and rest your chin on his shoulder. "Not really. I didn't know you were friends."

Namjoon shrugs his shoulders slightly, his voice monotone. "Yeah, well, we've known each other since we were seven, got into skating together around that time, and have been friends ever since. While I wish I didn't have to sit this one out, I couldn't be happier to have him representing South Korea at the Worlds — sorry, that's what we call the World Figure Skating Championships."

"Yeah, they're kind of painting you as opposites."

"That's just what the news does, I guess. Gossip and tabloids and fan-wars. I fell on the ice and hit my shoulder pretty hard; it had nothing to do with Seokjin. He and I talked before I left, too. We're on good terms. Most of us from South Korea are friends, actually. We only get represented as enemies because it's a competition. But a lot of times we're on the same flights, in the same hotels, in the same training areas, you get the idea."

Namjoon pulls up to a stoplight at a near empty intersection, waiting silently for it to shift colors. "Is that what you meant by change of career?" you inquire.

"You're observant," he chuckles.

You turn to rest your cheek on his back. "For what it's worth, and keep in mind that I don't know the first thing about figure skating or your injury or anything like that, but as someone on the outside looking in, you're still so talented. Last week, when you were skating alone, I couldn't tell at all you were injured, and you looked like you were really enjoying it. I don't know if that means anything to you coming from a novice, but if you're still in love with skating and want to get back out there, I think you should go for it. You're still spectacular to watch, Joonie."

There's a beat of silence, but then Namjoon glances over his shoulder and winks at you. "Would you come see me perform live if I did?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you state, "Why not?"

He laughs at your silly expression, then begins to move the bike again as the light finally shifts. "That actually means a lot, [Y/n]. Thank you."

The rest of the ride is quiet, at least until you begin to hear the sounds of a bustling outdoor market. Namjoon turns the final corner, and you're elated with the stone street in an older part of Seoul. Vendors in various booths stretch out in every direction. Some sell food or drink, some sell trinkets or clothing, some even sell vintage books or vinyls or movies. Every nook and cranny has something special to offer. The sights, smells and sounds bring an enormous smile to your face as Namjoon steadies the bike to a stop beside the bicycle rack.

You hop off with his help, nearly bouncing up and down from excitement as he parks and locks his bike on the stand. "This is amazing!" Turning to him, you catch him off-guard with a tight embrace, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pulling him down to you.

Namjoon seems amused by your eager reaction, and he pulls you closer to him. "I thought you would like it. There's nothing quite like Christmas than a market."

After letting him go, you press a kiss to his cheek as you lower back down to your level. Namjoon's hands tenderly cradle your face, just like last time, only today he's glancing away from  your eyes and down to your lips. As your heartbeat quickens, you pull him back to you, fingers grasping at his winter jacket.

His voice is deep and soft as he asks, "May I...?"

Your cheeks flush as you nod your approval. Namjoon's dimples deepen as he lowers his face to yours, barely brushing his lips against yours in the gentlest kiss you've ever had. You close the distance, tugging at his jacket so he moves closer. He gives a tiny laugh against your mouth, then follows your guidance to deepen the kiss. One hand slips back to your hair; he gently plays with the strands.

A moment later, and you're sighing as he pulls away, both light-headed and light-hearted. Namjoon smiles down at you, gives you a surprising second peck, then pulls back with a chuckle. "You're a really cute kisser, y'know that?"

You drop your head and hide your face in the front of his coat. "Shut up."

Your companion's laughter echoes in the air around you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and places his lips briefly on the top of your head. "Are you hungry? I know where we can get the absolute best Tteok-kkochi."

Eventually you lift your head and nod, feeling your stomach rumble at the thought of rice cake skewers. Namjoon moves his arm from around your shoulders, taking your hand instead, and ushers you into the first aisle of the Christmas market.

If it was magical from the outside, it's even more so from within. Somewhere in the distance, you hear holiday music playing. Not the commercial Christmas songs you're used to, but instrumental music that plays perfectly with the sounds of the market crowds. You're awestruck by every single booth you pass, and Namjoon promises to take you back to all of them after you grab a bite to eat.

Which are well worth the walk into the interior of the market. The Tteok-kkochi are cooked to perfection, drowned in a sauce, and by far the best you've ever had. Even after circling back to the booths you missed on the way, you beg Namjoon to lead you back to get another set.

"I've found heaven," you exclaim dramatically, taking the next two from the cook behind the counter and hanging one to your companion. "I'll never have rice cake skewers this good again."

After paying, you spot a section of the market decorated with lights and colorful orbs, much like the decorations you're used to seeing in the West. "Can we go over there next?"

Namjoon spots where you're pointing and eagerly agrees. The pair of you make your way towards the greenery and decor, amazed at the giant Christmas trees decorated to perfection on the periphery of the market.

"That's a massive tree," he gasps, staring upwards. "Are those normal in America?"

"Maybe at a mall or outside a hotel or something," you reply, equally as taken back. "I've never seen one that big in person in a long time."

As you peruse the Christmas section of the market, slipping from booth to booth as the clock strikes Noon, Namjoon asks, "Have you decorated your apartment at all? I know it can be kinda hard to find stuff in Korea like you're used to."

"Not really," you admit in passing. "Between work and school and, y'know, starting a new life in a foreign country, the holidays kinda fell on the back-burner."

Namjoon taps your shoulder, ushering your attention towards the old, American Christmas movies booth a few spots away. You gasp and rush over with renewed excitement, eyes scanning eagerly over the shelves. They have just about everything, from the classics like "It's A Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" to movies you grew up on like "Home Alone" and "Elf." The more you sort through the outdated DVDs, the bigger your smile gets.

"What's your favorite Christmas movie?" Namjoon asks, casually looking through the Christmas vinyls on the booth next to the movies.

"Without a doubt, Ron Howard's 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas.'"

"The one with Jim Carrey?"

"You know it!"

He laughs. "Yeah, my little sister and I watched it a lot when we were kids."

Your head perks up at the mention of a sister. "I didn't know you had siblings, either."

Namjoon nods. "Yeah, she's in college, too. Studying to be a psychologist."

"She sounds amazing."

"Yeah, the family is very proud. I know I am." He pulls out a vinyl for one of Frank Sinatra's Christmas records. "Do you have siblings?"

At the question, your gaze shifts back to the movies, hands preoccupied with finding the perfect one. "I do. A brother and a sister."

"Older?"

"Yeah..."

"What are they like?"

"A lot like my parents," you sigh, moving on to another shelf, turning your back to your companion. "Which is part of the reason I left, so..."

Namjoon senses your anxiety around the topic and rests a hand on your shoulder as he passes by. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize--"

You cut him off with a casual wave of your hand. "It's no worries, really." Spotting the record under his arm, you ask, "Find one you like?"

While he doesn't seem to buy your act, he lets the conversation go and holds up the vinyl for "Tales of Noel on Ice" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, as performed by the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra.

"You don't already have that one?" you gawk in surprise.

"I don't actually," he admits bashfully. "The title composition is one of my best free skate performances, and I have a record player at home, so why not?" He gestures to the movies. "Did you find one?"

"Oh, I don't need one! I was just looking. I don't even have a DVD player anymore."

"I do, so pick one out and maybe we can watch it sometime."

You shake your head at him, trying to subdue a chuckle. "A record player and a DVD player? You're so odd."

"But to your benefit," he reminds you with a wink, pulling out a single movie nearest him. It happens to be your favorite with Jim Carrey in all his hilarious glory on the front.

Cocking an eyebrow, you give a tiny round of applause at the luck of pulling that film out of all the others. "Well, you're going to have to invite me over sometime then."

"You can count on it."

For the next couple hours, Namjoon and you make your way through the entire market, hitting all the shops that interest and intrigue you. All the while, you talk about a plethora of things and get to know each other letter. For instance, you find out that he was born in Ilsan, not too far from where you are now, and that he hates seafood just about as much as mint chocolate. You also find out that he looks like his mother, who was the one that got him into skating to begin with. And to no one's surprise, Namjoon is actually very funny. Not only is he smart, athletic, and good looking — which alone would have caught your attention — he's got a wicked sense of humor to top it all off.

Likewise, he learns more about you. You tell him about the city you grew up in, the friends you had in high school, what you studied before you came to Korea. You tell him that along with your studies, you're really invested in writing and try to make time for that as well. It hasn't been so easy since the move, but you're hoping to get back to it in the new year.

As you approach mid-afternoon, and the final leg of the market, your phone begins to buzz. Your screen lights up with the same foreign number as before. Instantly, both your feet and your heart stop. Your shoulders tense up, and you turn to a blissfully unaware Namjoon, saying, "Hey, I gotta take this. You go on ahead."

"Are you sure?" he asks, the person in front of him not the same happy-go-lucky one as before.

You give him a nod of reassurance. "I'll catch up."

Before he can reply, you've turned and moved towards the massive Christmas trees, where there's an opening and the crowds are quieter. Despite what you told him, you don't intend on answering. Whoever is on the other end of that line, be it your mother or father or siblings, you want nothing to do with them. You do, however, want this to be over. You promise yourself to hear the message, block them, and then go run an errand after the holidays to get a new number.

After the call drops, you wait with an anxious feeling building in your stomach. Maybe they didn't leave a message. Maybe it wasn't your family after all. Maybe — 

A soft ping alerts you that you have a new message. Selecting it, you raise your phone to your ear and hear your father this time. He repeats all of what your mother said, only with a layer of frustration and authority that she didn't use. He's borderline cruel as he spouts the same old lies that you're trying to unlearn; it's your fault, it's because of you, you're the cause of it. What it is, depends on the day. This time is has to do with your family not being the same and their world falling to pieces. He uses colorful sentences, well-crafted insults, but all you hear is blame, blame, blame. 

Tears prick your eyes as the voicemail ends, and you realize you should've just deleted the message when you had the chance. A small part of you still hoped they would change, even after all this time, but you see now that it's not possible.

They will never change, and neither will you.

The pit of depression weighs down in your stomach, and loneliness tingles at the back of your throat. Why now? Out of all the times, out of all the days, why are you feeling these things now? You're out having an adventure with a man who you really like, and who you know likes you, in a city you now call home. You're far from any sadness or trauma or family or friends that once brought you down. You've left your past behind. You'd started to feel like there was hope in the holidays and in the future again, like the last year was worth the pain, like everything was starting to turn around.

But suddenly, that snake is wrapped around you again, pulling you back into old habits and old ways of thinking. It's grabbed on tight and is pulling you back into the dark, away from people you care about, away from people who care about you.

Even as you glance up at Namjoon a few stalls away, completely naïve to the painful flickers going through your mind, you feel the need to draw back. Pull away. Stay away. Go back to the security of the known, of the sad, of the lonely. It's warm and comfy, even if it hurts.

Clenching your fists, you try to silence the noise in your brain by shaking your head. The thoughts only grow louder, and the pit in your stomach gets heavier. You haven't felt a depressive episode like this in a long time. You thought they were long gone, especially now, especially with him...

"[Y/n]? Are you okay?"

Looking up, you see Namjoon's approaching you in the clearing. One hand carries the movie and vinyl he purchased for you both, but the other is outstretched towards you. While you don't pull away from his touch, you taste bile in the back of your throat.

"I—I need to go home," you mutter. "I'm starting to feel sick."

"Oh, okay, hold up I'll go get my bike and I'll take you home."

Feeling your breath quicken, you pull your gaze from Namjoon and nod shakily. The walk back to the bike rack is silent, even the crowd outside fades to a low background murmur. Namjoon places the purchased items in his bicycle carrier, then mounts it.

You follow suit, regret beginning to pile up inside you. Running isn't going to help anything, and you know he must be hurt and confused. But to you, the only thing you can do right now to protect yourself is get away from it all and go back to the place where you feel safest.

Tears burn your eyes as you curl up against him. Namjoon pedals speedily to your apartment, making the trip faster than last time. When he pulls up to the curb, you hop off without a word.

"Do you need me to walk you up?" he offers, worry causing his brows to pull together.

You shake your head and put distance between you both. "No, I'm fine. I'll...text you later, okay?"

Without another word, you turn and enter through the front, leaving Namjoon behind on the other side. Trekking up the stairs, through the door, past a mewling Mochi, you curl up on your bed and let yourself finally feel all the sadness piled up inside.

Fifteen minutes later, the waterworks flow when your phone lights up from an incoming text. Knowing exactly who it is, you grab it and text a swift message to Namjoon.

"I'm so sorry I left so suddenly. And that I ruined our day. Not feeling like myself."

"That's okay. I just got home, so I wanted to check up on you. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Do you need anything?"

"No, but thank you."

"Okay... Maybe we can try again some other time? I'd hate to let you down on Day 2."

Unable to reply, the phone turns black and you let it fall onto the duvet.

The days leading up until Christmas Eve were long and full of guilt. You closed the café for the final time the Monday before the holiday, and with no classes to attend, you mainly stayed inside and watched the snow fall outside your tiny apartment window. Mochi kept you company, but even the small fur ball could sense that something had changed for the worse. Even she had gotten used to you being happier this December; you'd taken two steps back while attempting to take a single step forward.

Every morning, you'd spot Namjoon riding his bike past your apartment on his way to the rink where he trains. Every day, he'd stop and gaze up at the building, never sure which frosty window you were behind but melancholy just the same. He'd call and text; the former, you would never answer, but the latter, you did sporadically. Mainly at night when you thought he wouldn't be up.

He usually was.

"Was it something I did?" he asked that Tuesday before Christmas. "Did I move too fast? Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"No. It's not you."

"Then tell me what it is. I don't want to come across as pushy, but I thought we were getting closer...and then you pull back and hide from me. From everyone. I know I don't know everything about your past or what happened before you came to Seoul, but I promised you three adventures. I still have one to make good on before Christmas."

"Joonie..."

You couldn't bring yourself to write more. The tiny part of your brain that told you that maybe this can work, maybe it's worth trying, maybe things can be different now, it was silenced by the overwhelming majority of your mind. It remembered everything from your past, from the hurt and pain, from the loneliness and fear. Despite your wish to make things right again, it was drowned out by the pure terror of being wronged again.

"Don't shut me out. Please. Let me show you things can be different now. You don't have to go at this alone, [Y/n]. Not anymore."

Pushing down the urge to cry yet again, you move your fingers to type a swift and cold reply. "I'm so sorry I wasted your time, Namjoon. I really am. I thought I was ready, but it's clear that I'm not. Please, spend Christmas with your family. Don't waste any more time on me."

And that was the end of it. You muted his notifications, ignored his calls and texts, and eventually he went silent. The day before Christmas Eve was the first you didn't hear from him, and it was the first day you felt like you'd truly fucked things up for good.

On Christmas Eve, you got an unexpected call from Lisa. Deciding to take a break from staring at an empty Word document with ever-growing frustration, you answered the call, only to be bombarded by Lisa's rambling.

"Oh, thank god! I didn't think you'd answer! I need a huge favor, and I hate to bother on such short notice on Christmas Eve, but this really cannot wait and I'll love you forever if you—!"

"—Okay, okay," you chuckle, shaking your head at her antics.

"I need you to run back to the café and grab something for me. Jungkook is on his way there, but he doesn't have a key."

"What could you possibly have left that's this important?"

"My fucking credit card."

"You've been out of town for two weeks and only just now realized you left your card?"

She heaves a frustrated sigh. "Please, just, do me this favor?"

Rolling your eyes, you pull yourself from the sofa and grab your keys on the counter. "Fine, but you owe me."

"Yes, yes, I know."

You leave the apartment in a hurry, taking the next train to the café. In less than fifteen minutes, you're at the front door. Lisa assures you that Jungkook is on his way, only twenty minutes away. After unlocking it, you make yourself at home in the lobby with a fresh white chocolate mocha. It reminds you of Yeongu, and you smile at the thought.

After about a half hour, your phone begins to buzz in your pocket. Lisa's text has you halting in place.

"I'm sorry to do this. You didn't really give me another choice. I crossed a line, but I think you'll thank me in the end."

Your fingers are swift typing a response. "What did you do?"

"You remember how you gave me a spare key in case you ever got locked out? Or in case you were kept at school too long and needed someone to feed Mochi?" A pause, then she adds, "He came to Busan, [Y/n]. He asked me in person what to do. Do you know how out of the way that was for him? Give him another chance. Please."

"You didn't."

"I did. I'm sorry, but you've talked about how you pull away when you get close to people. It's gone on for almost a week. It's Christmas Eve. You can hate me all you want later, but please. Go home, kiss and make up, then try to salvage Christmas."

A huff of air exits your nostrils as it hits you. Lisa's given the spare to Namjoon. Jungkook was never on his way; this was all a rouse to get you out of your apartment long enough for him to get inside. But to what end?

"He's good for you; I can tell that much already. If you ever were to give someone the benefit of the doubt and place your broken pieces in someone's hands, he's the best you're gonna find."

A pang of truth rocks through you, and while you have still a semblance of willpower, you shoot her a swift text and rush back for the station. "I'm still mad at you, but we'll talk later. I need to get home."

"Go get him!"

The series of stairs up to your apartment never felt so long. Out of breath and winded from rushing home, you find the door unlocked. Pushing through, the place you left less than an hour ago isn't the same as it was before.

The entrance hallway is glittering, multi-colored strands of twinkle lights hanging along the periphery. Fake snow lines the trim, and paper snowflakes are tossed across the furniture. Each one is unique and hand-crafted.

As you venture further, a rainbow array aurora covers your living room and kitchen. There must be at least a dozen lengthy strands of Christmas lights hung across the few items you've unpacked, circled around the sealed boxes, and framing every window and door.  Fake icicles hang on the windowsill, fake greenery lays where curtains should be, and a small Christmas tree stands at your height in the corner.

Jovial, English holiday music plays softly in the background. And humming along to the tune of The First Noel, Namjoon stands with bent-back facing you. He's finishing his final touches on the tree, ensuring that each sparkling orb and shimmering tinsel is perfect. He adjusts the star on the top with a smile to himself, oblivious still to your entrance.

For a moment, you stand in silence and watch him. Your heart is heavy but still beating. If anything, seeing him in the midst of such a sweet and selfless act makes it flutter. Even after cutting his well-planned adventure short, ignoring him for over a week, and telling him to stop speaking to you, he's still here. He came back, and he's trying to prove to you the truth he's been spouting all along.

Eventually, you blink out of your stupor and clear your throat to alert him to your presence. Namjoon turns on his heel, elbow grazing the tree just enough to send it toppling backward. He curses and lunges for it, grabbing it by the star just in time to keep it upright. His characteristic clumsiness prompts a snicker from you, one that you attempt to hide with your hand over your mouth.

Namjoon adjusts the tree and turns back to you with a bashful expression. His lips pull into a side-smile, a single dimple popping out in the process. "H—Hi..."

"Hi," you repeat back to him, letting your hand fall. Your eyes follow suit and drift to your damp, snow-covered shoes.

A beat of silence passes where neither of you knows what to say next. Then the both of you break it at once, words tumbling over each others several times in a row. You laugh to yourself and look back up at him; Namjoon smiles down at you, shaking his head at the awkward reunion.

He gestures silently to you. "Go ahead."

You clear your throat, then say, "I...I wanted to say that I owe you an apology."

He shakes his head firmly, extending his hands in a olive-branch manner. "No, you don't—"

Your feet move back, putting space between you both. "—Can I explain and finish, please? Just...hold your forgiveness until then." At your request, your companion falls silent, letting his hands fall respectfully at his side. Taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment, you re-calibrate your mind and prepare for your admission.

"There's a lot you don't know about me yet," you begin softly. "Ah, shit — That came out super mean. I mean, you know a lot about me. You kinda know why I moved to Korea, the situation with my family back in America, that whole thing. You know where I work and what I'm studying. You know my favorite drink of all time is a white chocolate mocha, and that my favorite customer is barely four feet tall. You know Lisa is my shield at work, and that we've become pretty close in less than a year. You know I'm a homebody and that my favorite thing to do by myself is play with Mochi and watch dramas."

You release a huff of air and raise your eyes to meet his, a wistful smile tugging the corners of your lips. "But there's a lot I haven't told you — or anyone for that matter. I've gone through...a lot of shit this year. When I moved to Seoul, my mental health was in the trash, and my self worth was in shambles. I'd just been shoved from everything I'd ever known into a foreign place."

When you pause for a moment, Namjoon's small and steady voice pipes up with a single inquiry. "I thought you left willingly?"

"I did," you state. "I've wanted to move to South Korea for a long, long time. Since I can remember. But I never thought I'd lose everything before then." Tears prick your eyes, and you lift your sleeve to wipe your nose. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Namjoon gestures towards the small sofa, and you follow his lead. You perch on a single cushion, legs folded underneath you. He takes the adjacent one, far enough to for personal space but still close enough to rest a hand on your knee. This time, you don't push him away as you catch your breath. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, I do, but maybe not now." You take another breath in and focus your thoughts. "I didn't mean to start all that with the intention of being the victim and making you feel bad for me. I...I told you that because I wanted you to know that there are reasons why I push people away. I've been on a journey to heal that trauma all year, but it doesn't happen overnight. But even with that, I never should have just left like that. I never should have ignored your calls and texts. I shouldn't have made you feel like you were the bad guy, or that any of this was your fault, or that you did anything wrong. You were—"

You struggle to find a word that fits what you're truly feeling, one that doesn't feel overwhelming, but the only one that comes to mind is... "You are perfect, Joonie. You're sweet and kind. You treat me like a normal person that's worth something, and I think part of me was scared of that. Especially around the holidays, I feel very fragile, and I run from things I think might hurt me."

"I would never, ever hurt you." Namjoon flashes a soft and empathetic smile. "Can I ask why you got spooked so suddenly? You looked off when I picked you up, and I know you said it was nothing, but..."

You pull your phone from your pocket and play the message for him, the one from your mother. And when he remains silent, you play the second from your father. While he listens, you watch him. The hand on your knee turns to a fist, and his jaw clenches. Part of you is relieved that someone else is reacting negatively to the messages, yet another signal to you that your choice is validated.

"I got the first that morning, but the second right before I left," you murmur. "I didn't respond, and I've blocked the numbers, but I've felt unstable since then. That's why I shut down, and why I left."

He nods, then turns off the phone. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. That's emotional abuse and manipulation. No one should have to go through that."

"I know, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for doing that and for hurting you. It was wrong, and I don't deserve you coming back again and again...even if you concocted this up with Lisa."

At your light-hearted comment, he chuckles and bites the inside of his cheek. The fist on your knee loosens back, his fingers tapping gently against your skin. "She told you, did she?"

"Yep," you chirp. "I'll thank her later."

After a moment, Namjoon's eyes flicker back up to yours. For a moment, he almost looks worried. "Are you mad?"

"Meh." For a moment, you're able to hold your composure long enough for your companion's eyes to widen in horror. "I'm just kidding," you relent, and Namjoon looks visibly relieved. "How could I be mad? Look at all this!" You gesture to the magical space around you. "It looks like a wonderland in here."

A crimson hue fills his face, and he's all of a sudden very shy about the accomplishment. "I wanted you to feel like you had a Christmas, even if it was just for one night."

Leaning your head against the back cushion of the sofa, you stare at him with a bittersweet smile on your face. "Are you mad at me?"

He shakes his head, expression more adamant about that than anything he's said so far. "Not a bit. I was worried, yes, and maybe a little disappointed. I think most of that was tied to the fact that I thought we were on the up-and-up. I saw you slowly opening up and having a good time."

"Gahhh," you groan, eyes fluttering shut with frustration at your past self. "I really fucked it up, didn't I?"

"Not really." His hand slips up your knee, and he weaves his fingers through yours. The squeeze he gives and the gaze he locks gives emphasis to his next words. "I know I don't know everything about you, just like you don't know everything about me, but I'd be lying if I said you aren't the most joyful thing I've experienced in a while. Being around you makes me happy, and the fact that this has you so down makes me want to be there for you — if you want me to. I don't blame you for anything you've done, so you have nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, after hearing those messages and some of what you've been dealing with this year, I know I would've reacted the same way. But, if it helps your peace of mind, then I forgive it all."

"Thank you," you whisper, trying to blink away the tears pricking your eyes.

Namjoon's gaze softens, and he tugs on your hand. "C'mere." You scoot closer, and he pulls you the rest of the way onto his lap and into his arms. Your legs dangle off the side of his thighs, and your head nestles in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. One hand holds tightly to yours while the other circles your waist, dipping under your sweater to rub soothing circles on your skin. Your free arm wraps around his waist, pulling him even closer than before.

"Sometimes terrible, inexplicable things happen to us and it takes us months — even years — to process." Namjoon's timbre is quiet and deep, rumbling against your ear as he speaks. "Everyone goes through that, even me. But it's so much harder to face it alone. Sometimes it takes a lonely, awful Christmas to see just how out of sorts you are. I don't know everything, but if you'll have me, I'd like to stick around to find out."

"You'd still be willing to get to know me more, even after seeing me at my worst?"

"Jagi, if this is your worst, then I would hate to introduce you to sixteen-year-old Kim Namjoon. That boy was a train-wreck."

Letting a watery smile show as laughter escapes your lungs, you reach upward and wrap your arms around Namjoon's neck. He pulls you closer, hands splayed on your back and waist. A sense of relief, and something like home, floods through you. Burying your face in his neck, you allow yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. Ever patient, your companion just holds you close as you come back around.

"Enough with the heavy," he breaks the silence, pulling back and wiping his thumb across your cheeks. Nodding towards the front of the space, where your television is, you follow his line of sight. "I brought your movie and the player. If you're okay with me staying over, do you wanna watch it?"

Leaning forward, you bring your face closer to his, murmuring, "I'd love that."

Namjoon closes the final distance. Both your eyes and his flutter shut as your lips meet in the middle. You tug on the collar of his sweater, encouraging him closer as his arms tighten around your waist. In a burst of bravery, you run your hand through his platinum hair and nip at his bottom lip. He inhales abruptly, and you giggle in response.

"You're gonna be the death of me, [Y/n] [Y/l/n]," he laughs, eventually pulling back to catch his breath.

You grin mischievously at him, biting your lower lip. "Still sure you wanna stay?"

"Definitely. Oh! And I placed an order for takeout, which should be here any minute."

You burst into laughter, resting your forehead against his shoulder as joy fills your body. "You really put all your chips on me coming to my senses, didn't you?" When he shrugs, you add, "What if I had said no?"

"Then I would've been eating for two alone in my apartment," he groans.

You shake your head at his antics and playfully poke the dimple in his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Joonie.”

His smile deepens at your words and gesture. “Merry Christmas, [Y/n].”

Just as he promised, food arrives at the front of your apartment a few minutes later. Namjoon hops up and volunteers to get it from the entrance, and you pop the movie into the player. Silencing the music on his phone, you select the "Play" option from the menu, and the credits begin to play over Anthony Hopkins' narration as your companion returns.

He serves up the food and delivers it to you on the sofa. With a rumbling stomach, you take it gratefully. Just as the singing begins, Namjoon settles into the seat beside you, hooking your leg over his so you maintain closeness as you devour the takeout. Neither of you have seen it in so long, and thus both of you are laughing whole-heartedly at every joke and hilarious mannerism.

After the meal is finished and the dishes are on the makeshift box side-table, you find yourself slowly slipping closer to your companion. Namjoon gladly pulls you closer, and by the middle of the movie, you're back in his lap. With the blanket wrapped around you both, his chin on your head, his arms around you with one hand tracing absent-minded patterns on the skin above your pants, you know you've never been more at home in Seoul than you are right now.

"I'm sorry I ruined your grand plans for Day 3," you murmur after a while.

Namjoon's hand on your waist halts, then changes to a reassuring, tapping pattern. "Be glad you did; this is way better than anything I had planned."

"While I have to agree, what did you have planned?"

You can hear his smile in his voice. "Well, honestly I hadn't decided between Lotte World or Seoullo 7017. You said you hadn't been to either of those, and at Christmas, they're magical. All the lights, the music, it's an absolute winter wonderland."

"Well, if I get to see you skate live, then we can definitely go to those after the solar New Year. Maybe...Maybe even call it a date?"

Namjoon presses a kiss to your forehead, one that makes you grin to yourself and sigh peacefully. His reply is loud and clear, a promise reverberating through his chest. "I think that sounds perfect."

As the movie continues, you relax and think back on everything that's happened this year. All your concerns and worries you had a few weeks prior, at the beginning of December, they all seem so far away now. Even those anxieties brought up recently feel as if they're resolved. he sense is comparable to that of a chapter ending and a new one is being written. And this time, you're the one holding the pen.

At the resolution of the film, you realize that what Namjoon set out to do over a series of adventures truly did come to fruition. Be it luck or fate or whatever you want to call it, he really has given you that spark of hope in the Christmas season. It's something you thought you'd lost, or perhaps you'd left it in America along with many other things. He's brought it back to life, and so much more along with it.

All that magic, all that wonder, all that love and hope and joy — Namjoon is right. It hasn't disappeared from the world, and you haven't outgrown the things you used to feel during the holiday season. It's all still right here, in front of you and around you, waiting to be taken with grateful hands and heart. Maybe it's not in the form it used to be, nor is it in the place it used to be, but neither are you. Both you and your home have changed this year. But despite it all, you are still here, still striving to love yourself and your new life, still trying to let the magic find you.

And this year, because of a wonderful person named Kim Namjoon, you had all the love and magic you could ever need.

[ragegrove]

but I wanna know all the replies to the Childhood Asks 🥺

you asked for all  of them so you shall receive all of them bc you got bestie privileges. ( haha true, but since i got a few asks curious about billy's childhood-- i decided to do them all on one post )

*   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌  𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃  𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒.    /   status:  always  accepting  memes  

@flayedprincss . . .

what were they like as a child? the  polar  opposite  to  what  he  is  now. summer  was  creeping  in  and  school  was  about  to  break  loose,  that  meant  more  time  spent  at  the  beach  and  more  time  to  do  all  those  fun  things  his  mother  promised  they’d  do  while  they  were  chatting  down  the  boardwalk  and  billy  was  talking  his  mother’s  ear  off  like  pure  usual  when  it  was  just  the  two  of  them.  things  always  fell  silent  at  home,  he  never  spoke  much  at  all  when  neil  was  in  the  house.  he  was  becoming  too  old  to  hold  his  mother’s  hand--  almost  going  for  seven  this  coming  november.  but  he  was  used  to  it  and  he  had  an  attachment  to  his  mother,  it  might’ve  been  an  only  child  thing.  or  maybe  it  was  just  a  thing  he  wasn’t  ready  to  grow  out  of  yet.  he  loved  it  when  there  were  too  many  people  around  and  his  mother’s  sweet  voice  would  say,  ‘hold  my  hand  billy’,  like  that  evening  walking  down  the  boardwalk.  he’d  smile  and  fingers  would  cling  to  her  hand,  then  right  as  they  were  entering  the  seashell  shop  an  elderly  man  was  stepping  up  on  one  of  the  steps  before  he  tripped  and  fell.  billy’s  jaw  dropped  and  concern  filled  his  blue  eyes,  “look,  mom.  shouldn’t we  help  him?”  he  quickly  questioned,  he’s  going  to  spring  into  action  regardless.  “of  course  we  should,  billy.”  he  hurries  and  takes  the  old  man’s  hand,  using  all  the  strength  he  has  in  his  arms  to  help  him  up  then  with  the  aid  of  his  mother  taking  his  other  hand  they  get  him  up  just  fine  and  unscathed.  “are  you  okay?”  small voice,  that’s still  so  concerned  about  him questions the elder.  “i’m  okay  thanks  to  you...”  smiling,  he  looks  so  impressed  and  surprised,  “what  a  sweet  young  boy  you  are.  you’ll  grow  up  to  be  a  fine  young  man  one  day.”  it  leaves  billy  grinning,  happy  and  feeling  good  he  helped  someone  and  got  complimented  like  that.  that  day  he  hoped  he  would  grow  up  to  be  as  awesome  as  that  man  said  he  would  be.  ….ten  years  went  by  and  he  wasn’t  that  same  boy  anymore. the disaster he had become since that spring day.

what was their childhood like? did they have a good one or a bad one? torturous.  always waiting  for  the  next  blow  up  between  his  parents,  when  he  could  only  hide  between  the  trashcan  and  kitchen  counter  for  so  long  before  he  had  to  come  running  to  save  his  mother  from  his  father’s  wrath.  he  always  knew  when  it’d  happen,  too.  at  six  years  old  billy  would  listen  for  the  change  in  his  father’s  voice,  it’d  raise  to  a  certain  notch,  his  heart  would  leap  out  of  his  chest  and  then  he’d  come  charging  with  fear  pounding at his rib cage but  the  need  to  save  his  mother  from  being  hurt  overpowered  that.  there  were...SOME  days  that  could  go  good.  when  neil  had  to  stay  out  at  work  later,  it could  just  be  him  and  his  mom  at  home.  he’d  sit  on  her  lap  while  she’d  band-aid  his  knees,  she’d  baby  him  and  he  loved  every  second  of  it.  he’d  say  the  kids  at  school  pushed  him  down  but  in  truth,  he  caused  his  scraped  knees  himself.  for  attention.  other  good  days  were  either  surfing  with  his  mom  or  her  showing  him  things  on  her  car--  underneath  the  hood  where  the  interesting  stuff  was.  she’d  show  him  the  basic  things  and  he’d  ask  a  million  questions.  or  when  she’d  make  them  simple  sandwiches  but it felt like a grand dinner because  they’d  make  a  blanket  palette  in  the  floor,  spread  out  crayons  and  markers  and  color  in  coloring  books  with  scooby doo or designs  of  cars.  “that  one,  mom.  that  one  is  going  to  be  mine  and  i’ll  share  it  with  you.  i’ll  let  you  ride  my  car.”  he  giggled,  pointing  at  the  one called a Chevy ‘CAMARO’,  he  was  coloring  it blue  outside  the  lines.  “okay,  billy.  you  buy  us  that  one  and  i’ll  be  the  happiest  girl  in  the  world  to  ride  a  car  like  that  one!”  that’s  what  he  loved  about  his  mother,  she  encouraged  him.  he  felt  like  he  could  do  anything  and  that  one  day  his  dreams  really  would  come  true  of  having  the  coolest  car  in  the  world--  this  camaro.

where did they go to school? were they a good student? what was their favorite class?  he  went  to  school  in  california  all  of  his  life  until  half  way  into  high  school.  he  was  a  good  student  all  up  until  his  family  split  up  and  then  he  started  developing  issues  on  trying  to  concentrate.  he  went  from  a  timid,  sweet  little  kid  who  did  his  work  and  never  gave  any  teacher  trouble  to  acting  out  and  failing  everything  on  purpose.  detention  started  becoming  a  normal  thing  by  junior  high  every  friday,  blowing  off  homework,  talking  back  to  teachers  and  getting  in  fights  with  kids  who  picked  on  him  or  kids  he  just  didn’t  like— whenever it suited Billy’s sudden mood swings best.

what kind of hairstyle did they have?  his  hair  was  much  shorter,  he  didn’t  grow  it  out  until  the  end  of  junior  high, when all the long haired rock n roll bands emerged to the music scene and he wanted to look like that too.  it  was  way  more  blond  than  it  is  now,  a  bunch  of  sunshine  colored  curls  piled  cutely  on  top  of  his  head.

what did their childhood bedroom look like?  it  was  painted  blue  with  orange  curtains,  orange  was  trending  in  the  70s.  he  had  a  blue  and  orange  quilt  with  basketballs  and  teddy  bear  faces  across  the  pattern  from  age  3-7.  carpet  was  brown  and  he  had  shelves  next  to  the  bed  that  had  his  basketball  trophies  on,  stuffed  animals,  (his  favorite  teddy  bear  stayed  stuffed  under  his  orange  pillow  so  his  dad  couldn’t  destroy  that  one  in  case  he  ever  wanted  to  take  his  anger  out  on  his  special  things),  his  seashell  collection.  then  in  a  wooden  bench  that  sat  at  the  foot  of  his  bed,  he  had  basketballs  and  tons of toy  cars  piled  in  it.

did they have a favorite toy? why? what was it? do they still have it?  the  teddy  bear  his  mom  gave  him  when  he  was  a  baby,  he  just  formed  an  attachment  with  the  thing  like  he’s  always  done  with  things  he  really  loves.  he  thinks  he  doesn’t  have  it  but  it’s  actually  stuffed  in  one  of  the  boxes  he  hasn’t  unpacked  since  moving  from  california.  he  thought  his  dad  finally  found  it  and  threw  it  out,  but  it’s  been  stored  away  in  an  old  shoe  box  this  whole  time.

what was their favorite fairytale?  he  didn’t  like  fairytales,  he  liked  books  about  cars. (of course, lol.)  anything  to  do  with  cars  he  was  interested.

are there many photos of them or not?  they're  scarce.

did they have friends? how many? who were they? are they still in contact with them?  he  couldn’t  keep  friends  because  he  became  super  hostile  about  people  around the 5th grade. then in high school, he just automatically became popular for being the cutest guy in school and a really good basketball star. still, he had no real friends-- only people he'd consider as friends wasn't his fellow jocks but his fellow rock n rollers. anybody he could jam to rock music with, was his closest thing to a friend. but  there  was  one  girl  he  had  a  crush  on  in  9th  grade  who  he  considered  someone  he  was  relaxed  with.  that  was  fleeting,  however.

what kind of tv shows were they watching in their childhood? what was their favorite one?  from  3-6  he  loved  sesame  street,  then  when  he  was  getting  older  and  into  bigger  kid  cartoons  he  enjoyed  the  pink  panther,  tom  and  jerry,  flinstones,  scooby  doo.

what were their hobbies? do they still have any of them?  cars,  basketball,  surfing.  all  things  he  still  loves  to  do.

what was their favorite game?  tag  and  truth  or  dare.

was there any kind of food they hated? why? has it changed later in life?  cheeseburgers  or  pizza  with  toppings,  now  he  likes  both  with  plenty  of  toppings.  he  hated  broccoli   and   peas  and  still  hates   those.   he   never   has   preferred  pancakes,  he   likes  waffles  way  better.

did they have a crush on someone in their childhood?  there’s  been  a  few  girls,  but  it  was  a  dark  haired  girl  in  9th  grade  he  was  really  after.  it  didn’t  work  out  but  in the end he  found  better  qualities  in  a  girl  similar to  her  once  he  moved  to  hawkins--  heather  holloway.

[backslashdelta]

Glee Soundtrack Rating Project Results: angelhummel

@angelhummel

Favourite character: Kurt Hummel

Least favourite character: Will Schuester

Favourite season: Season 5

Least favourite season: Season 6

Mean song rating: 4.91

Mean song rating for favourite character's songs: 6.59

Mean song rating for favourite character's solos: 7.36

Mean song rating season 1: 4.93

Mean song rating season 2: 5.1

Mean song rating season 3: 4.95

Mean song rating season 4: 4.95

Mean song rating season 5: 4.92

Mean song rating season 6: 4.38

Songs rated: 702

[ID: A bar chart titled Number of songs assigned each rating by angelhummel, illustrating the number of times each score was assigned to a song by angelhummel. 10 was assigned 36 times, 9 was assigned 15 times, 8 was assigned 56 times, 7 was assigned 86 times, 6 was assigned 99 times, 5 was assigned 97 times, 4 was assigned 89 times, 3 was assigned 86 times, 2 was assigned 74 times, 1 was assigned 64 times, and 0 songs were not rated.]

About the Project | Results Masterpost

Ranking:

1. (10) - S1x03 - Bust Your Windows

2. (10) - S1x05 - Maybe This Time

3. (10) - S1x06 - It's My Life/Confessions Part II

4. (10) - S1x13 - And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

5. (10) - S1x18 - Rose's Turn

6. (10) - S1x19 - Dream On

7. (10) - S1x20 - Bad Romance

8. (10) - S1x22 - To Sir, With Love

9. (10) - S2x04 - Le Jazz Hot

10. (10) - S2x04 - With You I'm Born Again

11. (10) - S2x06 - Teenage Dream

12. (10) - S2x06 - Start Me Up/Livin' on a Prayer

13. (10) - S2x10 - Baby, It's Cold Outside

14. (10) - S2x11 - Thriller/Heads Will Roll

15. (10) - S2x18 - As If We Never Said Goodbye

16. (10) - S2x22 - For Good

17. (10) - S3x04 - Candyman

18. (10) - S3x11 - Scream

19. (10) - S3x11 - Smooth Criminal

20. (10) - S3x13 - I Will Always Love You

21. (10) - S3x14 - Cough Syrup

22. (10) - S3x17 - How Will I Know

23. (10) - S4x04 - The Scientist

24. (10) - S4x06 - There Are Worse Things I Could Do

25. (10) - S4x08 - Home/Homeward Bound

26. (10) - S4x09 - Being Alive

27. (10) - S4x15 - Come What May

28. (10) - S4x20 - At the Ballet

29. (10) - S5x06 - Just the Way You Are

30. (10) - S5x07 - Nasty/Rhythm Nation

31. (10) - S5x09 - Brave

32. (10) - S5x12 - Defying Gravity

33. (10) - S5x14 - People

34. (10) - S6x02 - Home

35. (10) - S6x03 - It's Too Late

36. (10) - S6x07 - Somebody Loves You

37. (9) - S1x13 - Don't Rain on My Parade

38. (9) - S1x16 - Home

39. (9) - S1x18 - The Boy Is Mine

40. (9) - S2x04 - River Deep, Mountain High

41. (9) - S3x06 - Rumour Has It/Someone Like You

42. (9) - S3x13 - Love Shack

43. (9) - S3x16 - Disco Inferno

44. (9) - S3x17 - So Emotional

45. (9) - S3x18 - Shake It Out

46. (9) - S4x03 - Everybody Wants to Rule the World

47. (9) - S4x14 - We've Got Tonite

48. (9) - S5x10 - The Happening

49. (9) - S6x07 - I Know Where I've Been

50. (9) - S6x11 - Take Me to Church

51. (9) - S6x13 - I Lived

52. (8) - S1x01 - Leaving On a Jet Plane

53. (8) - S1x10 - Don't Stand So Close to Me/Young Girl

54. (8) - S1x11 - True Colors

55. (8) - S1x15 - 4 Minutes

56. (8) - S1x15 - Like a Prayer

57. (8) - S1x18 - Lady Is a Tramp

58. (8) - S1x22 - Don't Stop Believing (Regionals)

59. (8) - S2x02 - Toxic

60. (8) - S2x03 - I Want to Hold Your Hand

61. (8) - S2x05 - Sweet Transvestite

62. (8) - S2x09 - Dog Days Are Over

63. (8) - S2x09 - Valerie

64. (8) - S2x10 - Last Christmas

65. (8) - S2x14 - Don't You Want Me

66. (8) - S2x16 - Blackbird

67. (8) - S2x17 - I Follow Rivers

68. (8) - S2x18 - Somewhere Only We Know

69. (8) - S2x18 - Born This Way

70. (8) - S2x19 - Go Your Own Way

71. (8) - S2x19 - Songbird

72. (8) - S3x01 - Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead

73. (8) - S3x05 - Uptown Girl

74. (8) - S3x11 - Human Nature

75. (8) - S3x13 - Cherish/Cherish

76. (8) - S3x17 - I Have Nothing

77. (8) - S3x17 - My Love Is Your Love

78. (8) - S3x18 - Not the Boy Next Door

79. (8) - S4x02 - Boys/Boyfriend

80. (8) - S4x02 - 3

81. (8) - S4x04 - Don't Speak

82. (8) - S4x08 - Let's Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time

83. (8) - S4x11 - No Scrubs

84. (8) - S4x12 - Centerfold/Hot in Herre

85. (8) - S4x13 - Don't Stop Me Now

86. (8) - S4x13 - Nutbush City Limits

87. (8) - S4x16 - Cold Hearted

88. (8) - S4x16 - Bye Bye Bye/I Want It That Way

89. (8) - S4x17 - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

90. (8) - S4x21 - Higher Ground

91. (8) - S5x01 - All You Need Is Love

92. (8) - S5x02 - Hey Jude

93. (8) - S5x02 - Let It Be

94. (8) - S5x03 - Seasons of Love

95. (8) - S5x05 - If I Were a Boy

96. (8) - S5x07 - Into the Groove

97. (8) - S5x09 - I Believe in a Thing Called Love

98. (8) - S5x14 - Downtown

99. (8) - S5x15 - Not While I'm Around

100. (8) - S5x15 - Broadway Baby

101. (8) - S5x20 - Pompeii

102. (8) - S6x03 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

103. (8) - S6x03 - Hand in My Pocket/I Feel the Earth Move

104. (8) - S6x08 - At Last

105. (8) - S6x09 - Cool Kids

106. (8) - S6x11 - Chandelier

107. (8) - S6x13 - Someday We'll Be Together

108. (7) - S1x01 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot)

109. (7) - S1x05 - Alone

110. (7) - S1x07 - Hate On Me

111. (7) - S1x07 - Ride Wit Me

112. (7) - S1x14 - Hello, I Love You

113. (7) - S1x15 - Like a Virgin

114. (7) - S1x16 - A House Is Not a Home

115. (7) - S1x18 - Jessie's Girl

116. (7) - S1x19 - I Dreamed a Dream

117. (7) - S1x20 - Funny Girl

118. (7) - S2x01 - Empire State of Mind

119. (7) - S2x02 - I'm a Slave 4 U

120. (7) - S2x02 - Me Against the Music

121. (7) - S2x05 - Time Warp

122. (7) - S2x06 - Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind

123. (7) - S2x11 - Bills, Bills, Bills

124. (7) - S2x11 - She's Not There

125. (7) - S2x12 - When I Get You Alone

126. (7) - S2x14 - Blame It (On the Alcohol)

127. (7) - S2x15 - Landslide

128. (7) - S2x16 - Misery

129. (7) - S2x21 - Some People

130. (7) - S2x21 - Pure Imagination

131. (7) - S2x21 - Try a Little Tenderness

132. (7) - S2x21 - My Man

133. (7) - S2x21 - Back to Black

134. (7) - S3x01 - Anything Goes/Anything You Can Do

135. (7) - S3x02 - Something's Coming

136. (7) - S3x02 - I'm the Greatest Star

137. (7) - S3x03 - Spotlight

138. (7) - S3x03 - Cool

139. (7) - S3x03 - It's All Over

140. (7) - S3x06 - Hit Me with Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

141. (7) - S3x07 - Perfect

142. (7) - S3x08 - Buenos Aires

143. (7) - S3x08 - We Are Young

144. (7) - S3x09 - Christmas Wrapping

145. (7) - S3x09 - Let It Snow

146. (7) - S3x09 - All I Want for Christmas Is You

147. (7) - S3x09 - Do They Know It's Christmas?

148. (7) - S3x09 - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town

149. (7) - S3x09 - Extraordinary Merry Christmas

150. (7) - S3x11 - Never Can Say Goodbye

151. (7) - S3x12 - La Isla Bonita

152. (7) - S3x15 - Rio/Hungry Like the Wolf

153. (7) - S3x15 - Somebody That I Used to Know

154. (7) - S3x16 - If I Can't Have You

155. (7) - S3x17 - It's Not Right But It's Okay

156. (7) - S3x20 - Because You Loved Me

157. (7) - S3x21 - Paradise By the Dashboard Light

158. (7) - S3x21 - Tongue Tied

159. (7) - S4x02 - Oops!...I Did It Again

160. (7) - S4x03 - The Way You Look Tonight/You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

161. (7) - S4x04 - Mine

162. (7) - S4x05 - Hopelessly Devoted to You

163. (7) - S4x06 - Beauty School Dropout

164. (7) - S4x07 - Some Nights

165. (7) - S4x09 - Don't Dream It's Over

166. (7) - S4x10 - The First Noel

167. (7) - S4x11 - Tell Him

168. (7) - S4x11 - I Don't Know How to Love Him

169. (7) - S4x14 - Getting Married Today

170. (7) - S4x17 - Wannabe

171. (7) - S4x17 - Mamma Mia

172. (7) - S4x21 - You Are the Sunshine of My Life

173. (7) - S4x21 - Superstition

174. (7) - S5x03 - Make You Feel My Love

175. (7) - S5x04 - Marry the Night

176. (7) - S5x04 - Roar

177. (7) - S5x08 - Mary's Little Boy Child

178. (7) - S5x09 - Every Breath You Take

179. (7) - S5x09 - Don't Rain On My Parade

180. (7) - S5x10 - Hold On

181. (7) - S5x13 - Don't Stop Believin' (Season Five)

182. (7) - S5x14 - You Make Me Feel So Young

183. (7) - S5x15 - I'm Still Here

184. (7) - S5x15 - Colorblind

185. (7) - S5x15 - No One Is Alone

186. (7) - S5x17 - Pumpin Blood

187. (7) - S5x18 - Doo Wop (That Thing)

188. (7) - S5x19 - Take Me Home Tonight

189. (7) - S5x20 - American Boy

190. (7) - S6x02 - Tightrope

191. (7) - S6x03 - So Far Away

192. (7) - S6x06 - Promises, Promises

193. (7) - S6x06 - Alfie

194. (6) - S1x06 - Halo/Walking On Sunshine

195. (6) - S1x07 - You Keep Me Hanging On

196. (6) - S1x09 - Dancing With Myself

197. (6) - S1x09 - Proud Mary

198. (6) - S1x09 - Defying Gravity

199. (6) - S1x11 - Bootylicious

200. (6) - S1x15 - Express Yourself

201. (6) - S1x15 - Vogue

202. (6) - S1x16 - One Less Bell to Answer/A House Is Not a Home

203. (6) - S1x16 - Fire

204. (6) - S1x18 - Pink Houses

205. (6) - S1x19 - Safety Dance

206. (6) - S1x19 - Dream a Little Dream

207. (6) - S1x22 - Any Way You Want It/Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

208. (6) - S2x01 - Listen

209. (6) - S2x02 - Baby One More Time

210. (6) - S2x03 - Bridge Over Troubled Water

211. (6) - S2x03 - One of Us

212. (6) - S2x05 - Science Fiction Double Feature

213. (6) - S2x07 - Forget You

214. (6) - S2x07 - Singing In the Rain/Umbrella

215. (6) - S2x07 - Nowadays/Hot Honey rag

216. (6) - S2x08 - Sway

217. (6) - S2x09 - Don't Cry for Me Argentina

218. (6) - S2x12 - Silly Love Songs

219. (6) - S2x14 - Tik Tok

220. (6) - S2x15 - Animal

221. (6) - S2x15 - Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)

222. (6) - S2x16 - Raise Your Glass

223. (6) - S2x16 - Candles

224. (6) - S2x17 - Turning Tables

225. (6) - S2x17 - Ain't No Way

226. (6) - S2x19 - Dreams

227. (6) - S2x20 - Dancing Queen

228. (6) - S2x22 - Light Up the World

229. (6) - S2x22 - Still Got Tonight

230. (6) - S3x01 - It's Not Unusual

231. (6) - S3x05 - America

232. (6) - S3x06 - I Can't Go for That/You Make My Dreams Come True

233. (6) - S3x07 - Constant Craving

234. (6) - S3x08 - Control

235. (6) - S3x08 - Man in the Mirror

236. (6) - S3x08 - ABC

237. (6) - S3x09 - My Favorite Things

238. (6) - S3x10 - Summer Nights

239. (6) - S3x10 - Without You

240. (6) - S3x10 - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

241. (6) - S3x13 - L-O-V-E

242. (6) - S3x15 - Up Up Up

243. (6) - S3x15 - Fighter

244. (6) - S3x18 - Cell Block Tango

245. (6) - S3x19 - Dinosaur

246. (6) - S3x22 - You Get What You Give

247. (6) - S3x22 - In My Life

248. (6) - S4x01 - Chasing Pavements

249. (6) - S4x02 - Everytime

250. (6) - S4x02 - Crazy/U Drive Me Crazy

251. (6) - S4x02 - Womanizer

252. (6) - S4x04 - Teenage Dream (Acoustic)

253. (6) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee

254. (6) - S4x06 - You're the One That I Want

255. (6) - S4x10 - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

256. (6) - S4x12 - This Is the New Year

257. (6) - S4x13 - Diva

258. (6) - S4x13 - Girl On Fire

259. (6) - S4x13 - Hung Up

260. (6) - S4x14 - Just Can't Get Enough

261. (6) - S4x15 - You're All the World to Me

262. (6) - S4x16 - Closer

263. (6) - S4x17 - My Prerogative

264. (6) - S4x17 - Copacabana

265. (6) - S4x21 - For Once in My Life

266. (6) - S5x01 - Got to Get You Into My Life

267. (6) - S5x01 - Yesterday

268. (6) - S5x01 - A Hard Day's Night

269. (6) - S5x02 - Here Comes the Sun

270. (6) - S5x04 - Wide Awake

271. (6) - S5x04 - Applause

272. (6) - S5x05 - Wrecking Ball

273. (6) - S5x08 - Away in a Manger

274. (6) - S5x08 - Love Child

275. (6) - S5x09 - My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)

276. (6) - S5x09 - Breakaway

277. (6) - S5x10 - Gloria

278. (6) - S5x10 - Jumpin' Jumpin'

279. (6) - S5x13 - Party All the Time

280. (6) - S5x13 - I Am Changing

281. (6) - S5x14 - Rockstar

282. (6) - S5x16 - Love Is a Battlefield

283. (6) - S5x20 - All of Me

284. (6) - S5x20 - Shakin' My Head

285. (6) - S6x01 - Let It Go

286. (6) - S6x02 - Take On Me

287. (6) - S6x02 - Mustang Sally

288. (6) - S6x06 - Arthur's Theme

289. (6) - S6x06 - Wishin' And Hoping

290. (6) - S6x09 - I Want to Break Free

291. (6) - S6x13 - Daydream Believer

292. (6) - S6x13 - This Time

293. (5) - S1x01 - On My Own

294. (5) - S1x01 - Rehab

295. (5) - S1x02 - Push It

296. (5) - S1x03 - Mercy

297. (5) - S1x04 - Taking Chances

298. (5) - S1x05 - Last Name

299. (5) - S1x07 - Keep Holding On

300. (5) - S1x08 - Sweet Caroline

301. (5) - S1x11 - Papa Don't Preach

302. (5) - S1x12 - Smile (Lily Allen)

303. (5) - S1x14 - Hello, Goodbye

304. (5) - S1x17 - U Can't Touch This

305. (5) - S1x17 - Physical

306. (5) - S1x17 - Run Joey Run

307. (5) - S1x20 - Shout It Out Loud

308. (5) - S1x20 - Poker Face

309. (5) - S1x21 - Give Up the Funk

310. (5) - S1x22 - Faithfully

311. (5) - S2x01 - Telephone

312. (5) - S2x02 - Stronger

313. (5) - S2x03 - Losing My Religion

314. (5) - S2x03 - I Look to You

315. (5) - S2x03 - Papa, Can You Hear Me?

316. (5) - S2x04 - Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

317. (5) - S2x04 - Sing!

318. (5) - S2x05 - Whatever Happened to Saturday Night?

319. (5) - S2x05 - Touch a Touch a Touch a Touch Me

320. (5) - S2x08 - Marry You

321. (5) - S2x10 - Merry Christmas, Darling

322. (5) - S2x11 - Need You Now

323. (5) - S2x15 - Afternoon Delight

324. (5) - S2x16 - Loser Like Me

325. (5) - S2x17 - All By Myself

326. (5) - S2x18 - I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

327. (5) - S2x20 - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You

328. (5) - S2x22 - Yeah!

329. (5) - S2x22 - As Long as You're There

330. (5) - S3x03 - Out Here On My Own

331. (5) - S3x03 - Fix You

332. (5) - S3x07 - Jolene

333. (5) - S3x08 - Survivor/I Will Survive

334. (5) - S3x10 - We Found Love

335. (5) - S3x13 - Stereo Hearts

336. (5) - S3x15 - I'm Still Standing

337. (5) - S3x16 - Boogie Shoes

338. (5) - S3x19 - Take My Breath Away

339. (5) - S3x21 - Starships

340. (5) - S3x21 - Pinball Wizard

341. (5) - S3x22 - I'll Remember

342. (5) - S3x22 - Roots Before Branches

343. (5) - S4x01 - It's Time

344. (5) - S4x01 - Call Me Maybe

345. (5) - S4x03 - A Change Would Do You Good

346. (5) - S4x06 - Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee (Reprise)

347. (5) - S4x06 - Greased Lightning

348. (5) - S4x07 - Heroes

349. (5) - S4x07 - Holding Out for a Hero

350. (5) - S4x11 - Locked Out of Heaven

351. (5) - S4x12 - Let Me Love You (Until You Learn to Love Yourself)

352. (5) - S4x12 - A Thousand Years

353. (5) - S4x12 - Torn

354. (5) - S4x12 - Love Song

355. (5) - S4x14 - Anything Could Happen

356. (5) - S4x15 - Shout

357. (5) - S4x16 - I Still Believe/Super Bass

358. (5) - S4x16 - How to Be a Heartbreaker

359. (5) - S4x16 - The Bitch Is Back/Dress You Up

360. (5) - S4x17 - Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)

361. (5) - S4x18 - Say

362. (5) - S4x20 - Longest Time

363. (5) - S4x21 - I Wish

364. (5) - S4x21 - Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours

365. (5) - S4x22 - All or Nothing

366. (5) - S5x01 - You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

367. (5) - S5x02 - Get Back

368. (5) - S5x02 - Something

369. (5) - S5x07 - You're My Best Friend

370. (5) - S5x07 - Cheek to Cheek

371. (5) - S5x08 - Here Comes Santa Claus (Down Santa Claus Lane)

372. (5) - S5x10 - Barracuda

373. (5) - S5x10 - Don't You (Forget About Me)

374. (5) - S5x11 - America

375. (5) - S5x12 - Toxic

376. (5) - S5x13 - Be Okay

377. (5) - S5x15 - You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman

378. (5) - S5x16 - Addicted to Love

379. (5) - S5x18 - Story of My Life

380. (5) - S5x19 - Memory

381. (5) - S6x06 - Baby It's You

382. (5) - S6x07 - Time After Time

383. (5) - S6x09 - Lose My Breath

384. (5) - S6x09 - Friday I'm in Love

385. (5) - S6x10 - Rise

386. (5) - S6x11 - Come Sail Away

387. (5) - S6x12 - Pony

388. (5) - S6x12 - Popular

389. (5) - S6x13 - Teach Your Children

390. (4) - S1x01 - Mr. Cellophane

391. (4) - S1x01 - Respect

392. (4) - S1x01 - I Kissed a Girl

393. (4) - S1x10 - Endless Love

394. (4) - S1x11 - Hair/Crazy In Love

395. (4) - S1x11 - Imagine

396. (4) - S1x12 - Smile (Charlie Chaplin)

397. (4) - S1x13 - My Life Would Suck Without You

398. (4) - S1x16 - Beautiful

399. (4) - S1x18 - One

400. (4) - S1x21 - It's a Man's Man's Man's World

401. (4) - S1x21 - Tell Me Something Good

402. (4) - S1x22 - Over the Rainbow

403. (4) - S2x01 - What I Did for Love

404. (4) - S2x05 - There's a Light (Over at the Frankenstein Place)

405. (4) - S2x05 - Damn It, Janet

406. (4) - S2x07 - Make 'Em Laugh

407. (4) - S2x08 - Just the Way You Are

408. (4) - S2x09 - (I've Had) The Time of My Life

409. (4) - S2x10 - Welcome Christmas

410. (4) - S2x12 - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

411. (4) - S2x12 - Fat Bottomed Girls

412. (4) - S2x13 - Somebody to Love

413. (4) - S2x13 - Sing

414. (4) - S2x13 - Take Me or Leave Me

415. (4) - S2x13 - Baby

416. (4) - S2x14 - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

417. (4) - S2x16 - Get It Right

418. (4) - S2x18 - I've Gotta Be Me

419. (4) - S2x19 - I Don't Want to Know

420. (4) - S2x19 - Don't Stop

421. (4) - S2x19 - Nice to Meet You, Have I Slept with You?

422. (4) - S2x22 - Bella Notte

423. (4) - S2x22 - Pretending

424. (4) - S3x01 - You Can't Stop the Beat

425. (4) - S3x01 - We Got the Beat

426. (4) - S3x05 - A Boy Like That/I Have a Love

427. (4) - S3x09 - River

428. (4) - S3x10 - Moves Like Jagger/Jumpin' Jack Flash

429. (4) - S3x10 - Wedding Bell Blues (Bill)

430. (4) - S3x11 - Bad

431. (4) - S3x11 - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

432. (4) - S3x11 - I Want You Back

433. (4) - S3x13 - Let Me Love You

434. (4) - S3x14 - Glad You Came

435. (4) - S3x16 - You Should Be Dancing

436. (4) - S3x17 - Saving All My Love For You

437. (4) - S3x17 - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)

438. (4) - S3x18 - School's Out

439. (4) - S3x20 - Flashdance...What a Feeling

440. (4) - S3x21 - Edge of Glory

441. (4) - S4x01 - Americano/Dance Again

442. (4) - S4x04 - Barely Breathing

443. (4) - S4x05 - Everybody Talks

444. (4) - S4x07 - My Dark Side

445. (4) - S4x10 - Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah

446. (4) - S4x10 - White Christmas

447. (4) - S4x13 - Bring Him Home

448. (4) - S4x15 - Old Time Rock & Roll/Danger Zone

449. (4) - S4x15 - Footloose

450. (4) - S4x17 - Creep

451. (4) - S4x19 - Outcast

452. (4) - S4x20 - Little Girls

453. (4) - S4x21 - Uptight (Everything's Alright)

454. (4) - S4x22 - Clarity

455. (4) - S4x22 - I Love It

456. (4) - S5x01 - Help!

457. (4) - S5x01 - I Saw Her Standing There

458. (4) - S5x03 - I'll Stand By You

459. (4) - S5x05 - On Our Way

460. (4) - S5x08 - The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)

461. (4) - S5x09 - Whenever I Call You Friend

462. (4) - S5x10 - Danny's Song

463. (4) - S5x13 - Loser Like Me

464. (4) - S5x13 - Just Give Me a Reason

465. (4) - S5x16 - I Want to Know What Love Is

466. (4) - S5x16 - Let's Wait Awhile

467. (4) - S5x17 - Lovefool

468. (4) - S5x17 - I'm the Greatest Star

469. (4) - S5x18 - Wake Me Up

470. (4) - S5x19 - Lucky Star

471. (4) - S6x01 - Suddenly Seymour

472. (4) - S6x04 - Thousand Miles

473. (4) - S6x06 - What the World Needs Now

474. (4) - S6x06 - They Long to Be Close to You

475. (4) - S6x08 - Our Day Will Come

476. (4) - S6x12 - Don't Stop Believing (Pilot/2009)

477. (4) - S6x12 - I'm His Child

478. (4) - S6x12 - I Kissed a Girl

479. (3) - S1x01 - Sit Down You're Rockin the Boat

480. (3) - S1x01 - You're the One That I Want (ver. 1)

481. (3) - S1x02 - Gold Digger

482. (3) - S1x05 - Somebody to Love

483. (3) - S1x08 - I Could Have Danced All Night

484. (3) - S1x08 - Thong Song

485. (3) - S1x10 - Lean On Me

486. (3) - S1x11 - Don't Make Me Over

487. (3) - S1x12 - Jump

488. (3) - S1x14 - Gives You Hell

489. (3) - S1x14 - Hello

490. (3) - S1x15 - Borderline/Open Your Heart

491. (3) - S1x17 - Total Eclipse of the Heart

492. (3) - S1x17 - Ice Ice Baby

493. (3) - S1x20 - Beth

494. (3) - S1x21 - Loser

495. (3) - S1x21 - Good Vibrations

496. (3) - S2x03 - Only the Good Die Young

497. (3) - S2x04 - Lucky

498. (3) - S2x10 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

499. (3) - S2x10 - The Most Wonderful Day of the Year

500. (3) - S2x12 - Firework

501. (3) - S2x12 - My Funny Valentine

502. (3) - S2x16 - Hell to the No

503. (3) - S2x16 - Big Ass Heart

504. (3) - S2x16 - Trouty Mouth

505. (3) - S2x19 - Never Going Back Again

506. (3) - S2x20 - Isn't She Lovely

507. (3) - S3x03 - Run the World (Girls)

508. (3) - S3x04 - Last Friday Night

509. (3) - S3x04 - Waiting for a Girl Like You

510. (3) - S3x05 - One Hand, One Heart

511. (3) - S3x06 - Hot for Teacher

512. (3) - S3x07 - I Kissed a Girl

513. (3) - S3x11 - Black or White

514. (3) - S3x12 - Bamboleo/Hero

515. (3) - S3x14 - Stand

516. (3) - S3x16 - How Deep Is Your Love

517. (3) - S3x16 - Night Fever

518. (3) - S3x18 - The Music of the Night

519. (3) - S3x18 - Cry

520. (3) - S3x19 - Big Girls Don't Cry

521. (3) - S3x21 - We Are the Champions

522. (3) - S3x21 - It's All Coming Back to Me Now

523. (3) - S3x22 - Glory Days

524. (3) - S3x22 - Forever Young

525. (3) - S4x01 - Never Say Never

526. (3) - S4x01 - New York State of Mind

527. (3) - S4x02 - Hold It Against Me

528. (3) - S4x05 - Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

529. (3) - S4x05 - Born to Hand Jive

530. (3) - S4x07 - Superman

531. (3) - S4x08 - Live While We're Young

532. (3) - S4x08 - Gangnam Style

533. (3) - S4x09 - Something Stupid

534. (3) - S4x09 - All That Jazz

535. (3) - S4x15 - Unchained Melody

536. (3) - S4x15 - Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl

537. (3) - S4x15 - In Your Eyes

538. (3) - S4x18 - Your Song

539. (3) - S4x18 - More Than Words

540. (3) - S4x19 - You Have More Friends Than You Know

541. (3) - S4x20 - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

542. (3) - S4x22 - Hall of Fame

543. (3) - S4x22 - Wings

544. (3) - S5x01 - Drive My Car

545. (3) - S5x02 - Revolution

546. (3) - S5x03 - If I Die Young

547. (3) - S5x06 - My Life

548. (3) - S5x08 - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

549. (3) - S5x11 - More Than a Feeling

550. (3) - S5x11 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

551. (3) - S5x12 - Keep Holding On

552. (3) - S5x14 - Don't Sleep in the Subway

553. (3) - S5x17 - Who Are You Now

554. (3) - S5x19 - Werewolves of London

555. (3) - S5x19 - I Melt with You

556. (3) - S5x20 - Girls on Film

557. (3) - S6x02 - Problem

558. (3) - S6x03 - You Learn/You've Got a Friend

559. (3) - S6x05 - It Must Have Been Love

560. (3) - S6x05 - All Out of Love

561. (3) - S6x06 - I'll Never Fall in Love Again

562. (3) - S6x09 - Uptown Funk

563. (3) - S6x10 - The Final Countdown

564. (3) - S6x11 - Mickey

565. (2) - S1x01 - Can't Fight This Feeling

566. (2) - S1x02 - Take a Bow

567. (2) - S1x04 - Tonight

568. (2) - S1x08 - Bust A Move

569. (2) - S1x10 - I'll Stand By You

570. (2) - S1x13 - You Can't Always Get What You Want

571. (2) - S1x14 - Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love

572. (2) - S1x15 - Burning Up

573. (2) - S2x01 - Getting to Know You

574. (2) - S2x02 - The Only Exception

575. (2) - S2x05 - Planet, Schmanet, Janet

576. (2) - S2x06 - One Love (People Get Ready)

577. (2) - S2x09 - The Living Years

578. (2) - S2x10 - We Need a Little Christmas

579. (2) - S2x13 - I Know What Boys Like

580. (2) - S2x15 - Kiss

581. (2) - S2x16 - Only Child

582. (2) - S2x20 - Friday

583. (2) - S2x20 - Jar of Hearts

584. (2) - S2x22 - I Love New York/New York, New York

585. (2) - S3x02 - Somewhere

586. (2) - S3x06 - You and I/You and I

587. (2) - S3x07 - I'm the Only One

588. (2) - S3x08 - Red Solo Cup

589. (2) - S3x11 - Ben

590. (2) - S3x11 - I Just Can't Stop Loving You

591. (2) - S3x12 - Don't Wanna Lose You

592. (2) - S3x12 - Sexy and I Know It

593. (2) - S3x13 - Home

594. (2) - S3x14 - Fly/I Believe I Can Fly

595. (2) - S3x14 - Here's to Us

596. (2) - S3x14 - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

597. (2) - S3x16 - More Than a Woman

598. (2) - S3x16 - Stayin' Alive

599. (2) - S3x18 - The Rain in Spain

600. (2) - S3x19 - What Makes You Beautiful

601. (2) - S3x19 - Love You Like a Love Song

602. (2) - S3x20 - Mean

603. (2) - S3x20 - I Won't Give Up

604. (2) - S4x03 - Celebrity Skin

605. (2) - S4x04 - Give Your Heart a Break

606. (2) - S4x05 - Juke Box Hero

607. (2) - S4x08 - Come See About Me

608. (2) - S4x09 - Being Good Isn't Good Enough

609. (2) - S4x09 - O Holy Night

610. (2) - S4x10 - Jingle Bell Rock

611. (2) - S4x11 - I Only Have Eyes for You

612. (2) - S4x13 - Make No Mistake (She's Mine)

613. (2) - S4x14 - You're All I Need to Get By

614. (2) - S4x19 - Don't Stop Believin' (Rachel)

615. (2) - S4x20 - We Will Rock You

616. (2) - S4x20 - Everybody Hurts

617. (2) - S5x02 - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

618. (2) - S5x05 - Blurred Lines

619. (2) - S5x05 - You Are Woman, I Am Man

620. (2) - S5x06 - Honesty

621. (2) - S5x06 - Piano Man

622. (2) - S5x06 - You May Be Right

623. (2) - S5x06 - An Innocent Man

624. (2) - S5x06 - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

625. (2) - S5x07 - The Fox

626. (2) - S5x11 - Vacation

627. (2) - S5x12 - Valerie

628. (2) - S5x14 - Best Day of My Life

629. (2) - S5x18 - Piece of My Heart

630. (2) - S5x20 - No Time At All

631. (2) - S5x20 - Glitter in the Air

632. (2) - S6x04 - Bitch

633. (2) - S6x05 - Father Figure

634. (2) - S6x07 - All About That Bass

635. (2) - S6x08 - I'm So Excited

636. (2) - S6x09 - Break Free

637. (2) - S6x10 - Rather Be

638. (2) - S6x13 - The Winner Takes It All

639. (1) - S1x02 - I Say a Little Prayer

640. (1) - S1x03 - I Wanna Sex You Up

641. (1) - S1x05 - Cabaret

642. (1) - S1x07 - No Air

643. (1) - S1x08 - What A Girl Wants

644. (1) - S1x10 - (You're Having My Baby)

645. (1) - S1x10 - Crush

646. (1) - S1x14 - Highway to Hell

647. (1) - S1x15 - What It Feels Like for a Girl

648. (1) - S1x21 - Another One Bites the Dust

649. (1) - S1x22 - Bohemian Rhapsody

650. (1) - S2x01 - Billionaire

651. (1) - S2x01 - Every Rose Has Its Thorn

652. (1) - S2x04 - Don't Go Breaking My Heart

653. (1) - S2x07 - Conjunction Junction

654. (1) - S2x08 - Ohio

655. (1) - S2x09 - Hey, Soul Sister

656. (1) - S2x13 - This Little Light of Mine

657. (1) - S2x14 - My Headband

658. (1) - S2x16 - Jesus Is My Friend

659. (1) - S2x20 - Rolling in the Deep

660. (1) - S2x22 - My Cup

661. (1) - S3x01 - Big Spender

662. (1) - S3x04 - Bein' Green

663. (1) - S3x04 - Take Care of Yourself

664. (1) - S3x05 - Tonight

665. (1) - S3x07 - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

666. (1) - S3x09 - Blue Christmas

667. (1) - S3x12 - A Little Less Conversation

668. (1) - S3x13 - You're the Top

669. (1) - S3x13 - Chapel of Love

670. (1) - S4x01 - Sister Christian

671. (1) - S4x02 - Gimme More

672. (1) - S4x08 - Whistle

673. (1) - S4x10 - Feliz Navidad

674. (1) - S4x11 - Baby Got Back

675. (1) - S4x19 - Fight for Your Right (to Party)

676. (1) - S4x19 - Next to Me

677. (1) - S4x22 - To Love You More

678. (1) - S4x22 - Rainbow Connection

679. (1) - S5x03 - Fire and Rain

680. (1) - S5x03 - No Surrender

681. (1) - S5x08 - O Christmas Tree

682. (1) - S5x11 - Mr. Roboto/Counting Stars

683. (1) - S5x11 - I Love LA

684. (1) - S5x12 - Raise Your Glass

685. (1) - S5x12 - Happy

686. (1) - S5x17 - NYC

687. (1) - S5x18 - The Rose

688. (1) - S6x01 - Sing

689. (1) - S6x01 - Dance the Night Away

690. (1) - S6x01 - Uninvited

691. (1) - S6x02 - Viva Voce

692. (1) - S6x04 - Rock Lobster

693. (1) - S6x04 - Whip It

694. (1) - S6x05 - My Sharona

695. (1) - S6x05 - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

696. (1) - S6x07 - You Give Love a Bad Name

697. (1) - S6x07 - Same Love

698. (1) - S6x08 - Hey Ya!

699. (1) - S6x10 - Far From Over

700. (1) - S6x10 - The Trolley Song

701. (1) - S6x11 - We Built This City

702. (1) - S6x11 - Listen to Your Heart

[yashimolala]

⎡ where are you now? ⎦fushiguro t. & m.

★ part two of ⎡ can you hear me now? ⎦ ☆  

❀ pairing: fushiguro megumi & fushiguro toji (familial)

❀ word count: 1,494 words

❀ genre: fluff/angst 

❀ author’s notes: this is not incestuous in any manner. 

❀ tags: character study, fushiguro toji-centric, introspection, purple prose, somewhat canon-compliant (?) 

❀ description: the moments that were left at the back of the father and son’s minds, and the places where they could’ve been.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆　　 。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

Sunflowers.

Megumi’s eyes flutter to the sight of a delightful scar.

He knows this is a dream, but it was a real memory flashing in his eyes, one that he’s never been able to recall before.

The scar was graceful, stretching to its’ full beauty on a smile. It was straight,  adorning the left side of the person’s mouth.

Slightly-chapped lips, rosy hues on glowing cheeks, and large, rough hands reaching out for him. And his safety in a delicate body is entrusted to their palms as he’s wrapped in strong, built arms.

He could not see the upper half of their face. It was a rather blurry vision he had.

But he could tell… they were joyous. Delighted. Glad. Genuinely happy. They smiled like it was the most beautiful moment of their life. Like his very existence was a miracle.

Tenderly cradling his small, fragile body; gently rocking him to a soft tune. He doesn’t know the song itself, but he loves the comfort it brings. The small humming is imprinted in his memory, a precious memento to cross at his heart.

Megumi then closes his eyes, drifting to a deep slumber, all the while listening to the serene sound.

He lets the darkness wash him over to a new dream.

Interlude.

Your smile rivals the vibrance of a sunflower, Ever brilliant and happy, Blooming with a vivid yellow power, That I can never exude.

Shining brighter than the glaring star in a summer night. Fiery blooms of beauty captivating me in its splendor, Always facing the direction of its Creator Like a lost sailor in search for a ray of light.

- Yashi

Aloë.

Megumi remembers getting ice cream in the mall when he was a child.

He was observing the strange tubs of bizarre flavors illustrated in posters; he seemed like he wanted to try them out.

His father was watching him from afar, hands shoved into his pants’ pockets. The man then sighs, “Stay in the bench over there.”

Megumi nods, sitting himself on the vacant furniture, unknowing of what he was planning.

The older male disappears from Megumi’s sight into the flood of crowds, not even uttering another word before leaving.

Minutes of swinging his legs back and forth were spent as he waited. Person after person passed by him, never sparing a glance but he felt like the eyes lurking from the shadows are on him, but at the same time, he feels like he’s within a void of empty crowds.

Just as he was to hop off and set out to search for his father, the man was right before him, handing down a triangular-looking biscuit with a building swirl of soft white.

The child looked astonished, wrapping his small hands around the cone, green eyes sparkling with the smooth, glistening frozen treat.

Toji just sits beside him, seemingly uninterested with legs spread wide, in comparison to the kid’s knees that were almost closed in a timid manner.

Megumi blinks once, before glancing down the ice cream, bringing the pointed tip of coldness to his lips, taking a small bite.

Chilled velvety mush melted into sweetness as he savors the flavor.

It’s a classic vanilla that his father could only afford.

The father glances to his side at once, watching a small smile stretch on the kid’s usually stoic expression.

“Is it good?”

“Anything that father gets me is the best.”

Toji then closes his eyes with a contented smile, clearing out the chatter of the crowds in the mall and etched Megumi’s smiling face into the back of his head.

Aster.

Toji sees the color of the skies on Megumi.

He could never forget the beady gaze of his child, often glimmering with curiosity that he could never unravel.

They glow with a glint of excitement and interest, with every thing it explores, may it be the old bookstore down the street, the trashed alleyways in their neighborhood, or the stray puppy that he saw in the park.

Toji sees the only blessing in his life.

Toji sees Megumi making his own blessings out of the world.

A small smile pulls on his lips as the child’s hand holds onto his larger one for reassurance, relishing in the sound of his laughter.

Megumi has his mother’s eyes, but he also has his own soul in those pair of sapphires. It was somewhat funny because everyday when Toji looked into the mirror, all he can see are soulless orbs of dread.

But now that he can see the life in his blessing’s eyes, he’s more than satisfied.

Azalea.

The first time Toji went out with Megumi’s mother, they eloped to the beach, where the color of their eyes can be found, symbolic of their persona as well.

When he takes the boy to the ocean, his eyes gleamed with excitement as he starts talking about the sea creatures he’s read about, like the starfish, the crabs, the seahorse and more.

His blue gaze was a living memory of his mother, reminding him of the calm ocean waves that came crashing on the grains of gold and the clear skies that rolled across the earth.

He notices his mussed hair that was disheveled by the salt water that soaked into their skin and takes a photo of the footsteps they’ve left on the shore before it’s washed away by the sweep of shallow water.  

When he feels delicate fingers graze on his knuckles, his chest surges with euphoria upon seeing Megumi who held onto his hand with his small digits, lips stretching with a smile and wet lashes framing his face.

He wants to wake up every day to this shade of blue, the voice of his son filling his ears, to live in a moment that will last until the end of his time.

Interlude.

‘You look just like your mother.’

The man remarks as he glances at the shape of his hair — same black, same spike, same curl that framed over his features that was a tad softer than Toji’s.

‘I guess I do carry her tenderness well.’ Megumi brings up a hand to the expanse of his neck, averting his focus away, refusing to make eye contact with his father.

This does not go unnoticed by Toji, as his emerald gaze catches on Megumi’s ocean ones. They were a deep shade of blue, drowning in the abysmal depths of the sea, accompanied by the shadows.

He speaks again. You both have the same eyes.

‘Cause we are both exhausted.’ The younger male responds almost immediately, but it never came out in an exasperated manner. It escaped his lips as a gentle sigh.

Toji’s eyes travel down to explore more what he shared with his mother, halting by the slim phalanges that he wore.

‘And the hands.’ He adds.

‘We share the same wilting fingers.’ Megumi wearily says, demonstrating by shifting his digits into a hand gesture that he does not recognize, only familiar with the lines and curves that shaped his wrist.

‘But that rage, your mother doesn’t wear that anger.’

‘You’re right.’ His expression that was once serene contorts into one of madness, bathed in blood and the laughter that cascades from his lips is almost maniacal. ‘This rage is the one thing I get from my father.’

Sweet Pea.

Fushiguro Toji was not expecting to have the latter half of his plans ruined by the Gojo kid who went berserk after rising from death.

All he felt was unease, unease, utter unease.

Just when he thought he had thrown his feelings away, it all comes back to him with an excruciating ache to his chest, tugging painfully on his heartstrings.

All he remembers is clinging onto his wife’s back like a helpless beast, the joy he had when Megumi was born, raising him up until he was five and fuck, he wishes he could have seen him grow up more — deal with his teenage phase, watch him graduate, have a peaceful story of his own.

He longs for a life where he could hear about Megumi’s dreams, where they talk about what happens in his everyday life over dinner, where they could live as a small and happy family with Tsumiki.

But he can’t go back to that life, can’t return to where he left off, can’t have what he want anymore so what’s the point?

He looks into the long path that was stretched out on the other way, disappearing into forever. He’s afraid to say this is the end he’s reached, but deep inside, he knows that he’s already lost, deep in the restraint of his own pride, in the choice of path that he chose and in this battle.

So when he chooses his last words, he tells them to the white-haired teen in hopes that his child will at least be able to live a better life than he did.

He just hopes that his only blessing is okay.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆　　 。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

The language of flowers: 

❀ Sunflower = “The sunshine in your smile”/Radiance ❀ Aloe = Affection and grief ❀ Aster = Love and daintiness/Remembrance ❀ Azalea = Family ❀ Sweet Pea = Goodbye

Oh and please do keep in mind that, in the second interlude, the dialogues that are in italics belong to Rupi Kaur’s ‘Milk and Honey’.

additional notes: i said i’d write more of this so i did. 

[pitaparka]

lazy river

request: hell yeah prompt list time! kissing john b in the rain for love and longing? love your content btw summary: it’s been a long time since you’ve been to a water park. jon b knows this, and wants to change that.

pairings: john b. x reader

word count: 1.7k

warnings: super fluffy. real cute. might rot your teeth.

a/n: requests still open! i got an AP exam this week. i also have to finish a create task i’ve had weeks to work on and haven’t, so... wish me luck. big love! 

It’s just how you remember it as a child; all funnel cakes and water slides and screaming children and too hot pavement. Exactly where you want to be when summer's in full swing. 

Probably the best unofficial date you’ve ever been on.

You don’t know how much money John B. had to save up in order to get you there, but the topping on the cake was his ability to score a free bus ride to and from going with a small church group. You'd never known him to be religious, but it was an eventful ride for the two of you. John B. was playing the role of full blown Christian boy, and it was so hard to hide your smiles and giggles that everyone must've thought you were his even more Christian friend. K-love plagued the speakers, and you and John B. agreed some of it wasn't bad, but most of the kids were insufferably nice, to a point where it was almost disingenuous. Standing in line with them was a pain, but as soon as you were able to, you two booked it off to the umbrellas, searching desperately for two lounge chairs. Maybe even one at this point. Anything really, until you found a small bunch of chairs left secluded by a family whose child was not having a good time. It was a perfect spot right under the umbrella allowing you to spread your towels out and leave the cooler by the chair. John B. was fast to attack the food in there; sandwiches, chips, fruits, cheese. You name it and JJ had gotten (stolen) it from somewhere for you two. “You’re gonna get sick,” you commented, as he scarfed down a sandwich. The smell of sunscreen plagues the area. You rubbed some onto your face. John B. had miraculously thought of everything except spray on sunscreen, so you were forced to either buy some from the gift shop at a ridiculously inflated price, or use the lotion. “Sick shmick. Do you want to go on some rides?” He says, wiping his dirty hands down on his towel. The towel that was supposed to wipe down his wet body. You grimaced, but then he slipped his shirt off and shimmied off his flip flops. He was so well toned and tan already. You can’t imagine him wanting to get any tanner. “Yes I do, actually. Can you get my back first?” You say, and wonder if John B. actually forgot the spray on sunscreen or opted for the lotion instead for this reason. His hands were firm on your shoulders as he applied the sunscreen, rubbing the taut muscle there and going dangerously low down your back. It sends a shiver down your spine and he can so obviously tell because he does it again to gauge your reaction. He ruins it though, by sending you off with a buddy pat on your shoulders. “Let’s do pirates plunge first,” he said, and it made you smile how excited he got. You wondered how long it’s been for him too. “No,” you argue, “we have to work our way up to that.” "Do NOT tell me you're planning on staying in the lazy river the whole time," he said, turning to where the middle aged adults who obliged their children lounged, floating leisurely under bridges and waterfalls. It made him shiver. "It's a great place to tan," you teased, and he glared at you. You smiled, and  stretched upward. "You want sunscreen?" You ask, and he looks like he's about to say no, but he nods his head yes. His back is smooth under your hands, and you make sure to lather his shoulders up nicely. You hand him the bottle when you're finished, and he scoffed. "You only did half," he says. "You can do the rest," you assure, and he rolls his eyes, squirting a glob of cream onto his palm before smearing it over his chest. "This kind of half-assery won't be tolerated," he jokes, "I'm going to have to report you to the manager." "Oh please. You're the king of half-assery." He gasps as he rubs his palms down his face, leaving streaks of white there. "How dare you. You're fired." He claims, looking over to one of the smaller two-person slides. You lean over to him and rub in the white with your thumbs, cupping his face a little. He watches your face the whole time, which, you have to admit, is a little creepy. When you're done, you shove him for good measure, before taking off in the other direction. The sun beats down hot on your shoulders, and you two spend hours waiting in lines and talking and spending time together. You could see the burn on John B.'s face and expected you were going to feel the burn too later on that night. It was a blessing whenever clouds rolled through the sky, blocking out the sun for a brief period before she cleared them away. The rides were subpar, but you two didn't notice in the slightest, screaming and yelling at each other down the slides and in tubes. The two of you dodged children and concerned parents and other teenagers, bobbing and weaving in and out of lines. Dripping wet, bodies glistening in the hot sun, you two decided funnel cakes were in order. You stood in line as John B. toweled off by your seats, and he ducked under the belt to stand with you. It got him dirty looks, but he didn't notice. "When are the church kids leaving?" You pondered, stretching on your tip toes to look in front of John B., trying to catch a glimpse of any of them. "In like an hour," he says, glancing up at the big clock poised over the food shack. There was only one in the entire park, which must've been good for business. They were so hot when you got them that the powdered sugar on top was melting. But as you made your way back to your seats, you felt it. “Oh no,” you whine, the water droplets on your bare shoulder. You turn to look at John B., but his gaze is not with yours. His eyes are on the sky, the grey storm clouds rolling in above. You sigh loudly. It’s not like you’re afraid of getting wet. Of all the places to be when it rains, a water park ranks at least in the top ten. But now all the rides were going to be closed. For god knows how long. He looked back down at you, grinning, and then noted your crestfallen expression. He pouted. “Why the long face?” He said, grabbing your chin and shaking it. You jerked away from his grasp to sulk. “Our day is ruined,” you grumbled, walking down in the direction of your chairs, planted conveniently under one of the large umbrellas. He jogged to catch up to you, intertwining his hand with yours. He swings it back and forth childishly. If he could, he’d probably skip down the concrete path to your area. "We have to eat these anyway. It'll probably be done by then," he assured. Much to your dismay, it was not in fact done by then. "That bus is probably going to leave early now," you mused, checking the notification app they made all of you download before you left the bus. “No way. This day’s not over. It’s just getting started,” he said, plucking your phone from your grasp and burying it in the bag he had brought. He left the rest of the conversation to your imagination before he took off running, pulling you in tow. “Hey!” You cried out, but you couldn’t help the giggle rising out of your throat when he stumbled over his own bare feet a little. He hushed you as you caught up to him on the side of the lazy river. There was nobody in it. All the employees were at the front entrance of it, escorting people out. "Wanna do a river run?" He said, slipping down the ladder. Your eyes bulged. "They're gonna kick us out," you said, hopping in after him anyway. You two stood downstream, and waited for tubes. It only took a few seconds before John B. was passing you one, rain falling on his hair and chest. "Now it's cold," you complained, but John B. chastised you. "Stop being a baby. Hang on," he said, standing up for you to grab onto one of the handles of his tube. The lazy river in the rain was a lot more fun than a lazy river in the sunshine. It would only be a few minutes before you reached the front of the ride, where all the workers were stuck trying to collect the tubes. John B. was splashing water at you, and shaking your tube to get you to fall out. You return the favor by flipping him over near the waterfall. He came up sputtering, and in return tried to flip your tube as well, but you latched onto his neck. It was easy for him to support your weight in the water, and he grabbed your legs, wrapping them around his waist as the tubes got away from the two of you. They floated sadly down the river, under the waterfall by themselves. John B. chased them, hands supporting you, your arms wrapped around his neck. He moved slowly towards the waterfall, and threatened to throw you under it. You squealed and pushed yourself up against him as much as you could, cradling his head to your own. If you were going down, so was he. But he stopped just short. You pulled away just a bit, and he was looking at you, eyes intense, smile bright. Your heart skipped a beat and you swear you saw him move closer. You couldn't help but do the same. Until his lips were on yours, moving in sync with you, rain pelting your bodies. His hands were firm underneath you, and you knew he wouldn't let you fall. It had been so long since you realized you wanted to kiss him for the first time. You could settle for him kissing you. "I love you, you know that?" He remarked. You thought it was sweet, until he tossed you under the waterfall. You swear you could hear his laugh from under the water.

[thebirdandhersong]

Hey, so I've basically never watched any k-dramas, but I've read a lot of manga and manhwa and the automatic next step does feel like moving into k-dramas. You seem to have watched a number, so I was wondering if you could make a recommended list? Only if you felt like it of course, but it would be helpful! (Preferably of at least some which are on netflix uk, I looked up 18 again but it's unfortunately not on here in Britain :(. But if you have favourites I'd just like to know them so I can look out for them anywhere)

Also yay! Your term's ended!

(yanks open the door) did someone say RECOMMENDATIONS?? I DO have many!!! Boy do I have them!!!!

(YAY!! One last exam and I'm done for the summer!)

I love Eastern entertainment (manga, k-dramas, c-dramas, and movies from Korea and Taiwan) because of several reasons: the scripts are phenomenal nine times out of ten; Asian culture puts a strong emphasis on the importance of family, personal responsibility, learning from one's mistakes, expressing affection through gestures and acts of service, and friendship and I really love seeing that in a story; and they make good use of silence and stillness in shows and movies, which is pretty rare in Hollywood. The quiet moments between characters are more often than not some of the most important in the story and I Love That!!

The dramas I'm (briefly) listing are in bold if they're available on Netflix UK, and in bold and italicised if they're available on Rakuten Viki (which is a mostly-free drama streaming service, though unfortunately they're rather heavy on the ads). The Absolute Favourites are marked with stars (***). Though I can't actually see the whole list of dramas available in the UK, so some of these may be wrong, and it may be worth checking twice!

If you're in the mood for something fast-paced:

Descendants of the Sun (Viki); considered a Classic

- romantic comedy, medical drama, a bit of action

- The confident and charming leader of a Special Forces unit meets a reserved surgeon and they hit it off, after some... interesting misunderstandings. But after dating briefly and breaking up, they find themselves reunited on a peacekeeping mission in a war-torn country. Insert a lot of Suspense and Excitement but also a lot of Comedy and Sincere Declarations of Love.

- if you enjoy Song Joongki's performance, I'd also recommend his movie A Werewolf Boy. If you enjoy Song Hye-kyo's performance, I'd recommend her drama Encounter.

***Come and Hug Me (Viki, but I don't know if it costs money?)

- thriller/suspense, romance, this one genuinely stressed me out but the moments of peace and reconciliation (and the ENDING) were well worth it

- Their first loves during their youth ends in her mother's death and their separation. Years later, the lively daughter of the murdered woman is now an actress, and the introverted son of the serial killer has become a police officer. They meet each other again (Of Course) and have to tackle all sorts of Nonsense (including the serial killer's return, his murderous brother's return from prison, the Media, the ghosts of their past, etc. etc.) together. HUGE focus on forgiveness, hope, healing, unconditional and self-sacrificial love. Also one of the best redemption arcs (I did in fact bawl my eyes out)

- my friend just started crying when we first watched this drama together because the male lead is just so gentle and tenderhearted and steadfast :')

If you're in the mood for something a bit slower

***Goblin/Guardian (Viki); International Acclaim

- fantasy, drama, one of the funniest dramas I've ever watched, but also tears (I cried at a rate of around once every two episodes. This show talks a lot about life and meaning and the effect your actions and words have on the people around you.)

- Kim Shin, a general from the Goryeo Dynasty, is cursed to live as an immortal Goblin (a Korean mythical/fairy tale figure) until his destined Bride pulls the sword from his chest, thus breaking the 'spell' and ending his life. He really did not expect his bride to be the vivacious and irrepressible Eun-tak, though, and What's More!! He did not expect that he would start wanting to live again :))) Includes a surprising amount of comedy, a surprising amount of tears, and EXCELLENT screenwriting. (Descendants and Goblin share the same brilliant writer.)

- fun fact: parts of it were shot in Quebec!! One of the characters refers to Canada as "the maple nation" early on in the story and my friend and I just burst into laughter.

***Encounter (Viki, but I'm not sure if it costs money?)

- melodrama, romantic comedy, FAIRY TALE

- a cold and withdrawn woman, recently divorced because of her husband's infidelity, and a warm-hearted and optimistic young man meet on the streets of Cuba by accident, and upon separating without means of contact, find themselves back in Korea as boss and newly hired employee. This sounds like a recipe for disaster: stuffed to the gills with unnecessary workplace drama and gossip, etc. but the story focuses instead on family, vulnerability, transformation, sacrifice, about art, compassion, mending relationships, opening up to people, and about the beauty in bringing and receiving comfort and love.

- also. ALSO. Fairy tale!!! with illustrated opening and ending cards and everything!!! (they literally refer to her as the Ice Princess. And her Prince is the human equivalent of sunshine. I Love him)

- if you like Park Bo-gum's performance, I'd recommend Reply 1988, too!

***One Spring Night

- melodrama; quiet and understated but very beautiful

- A bright, clever, and sharp-tongued librarian meets a quiet, steady, and gentle pharmacist one day. It turns out that he's a single father, and she's trapped in a relationship that really isn't working out. Friendship! Family! Sisters standing up for each other and saying No I Won't Let You Treat My Sister Like This, You Jerk! Figuring things out! Learning how to love! I really don't know what else to say, except for the fact that I loved it very much!!

- if you enjoy Jung Hae-in's performance, I'd also recommend Something in the Rain (which should also be on Netflix!) for his acting alone. I just think he's neat.

Reply 1988

- slice-of-life, comedy

- In the late 1980s, five friends (four boys, one girl) who have grown up with each other since childhood are Going Through It in high school. This drama is all about the little things that happen in life, and about learning to understand your family and your friends. Deok-sun is just trying to survive all of This as the middle child, and as a young girl who is trying to figure this Romance thing out. In the present, adult Deok-sun is just as lively, and is now happily married..... but to whom? :))) A Lot of '80s Asian culture, daily antics, and good old friendship.

- if you like Park Bo-gum's performance, I'd recommend Encounter too :)

18 Again (Viki)

- romantic comedy, fantasy/time travel (sort of)

- Nearly twenty years of marriage, and things have been going Wrong all over the place. His wife wants a divorce, he's no longer close to his teenaged kids, and he's just lost the job he's been faithfully working at for years. Daeyoung wishes that he could go back somehow, and finds himself 18 once again.... except he's still in the present. Interesting things ensue. He enrolls in school (it turns out to be the same one his kids attend), and decides to pursue the dreams he had to give up when he was a teenager. Antics ensue! But also Healing: he gets to know his kids all over again, and is able to view his relationships with Dajung (whom he still loves. Of course) and his estranged father in a new light.

- I have not finished this drama yet but judging from the first third of it, it is both well-written and well-acted. There are a few things that I am not a fan of, but on the whole Lee Dohyun's performance is wonderful and I have already cried buckets.

Other honourable mentions:

100 Days My Prince: historical drama. Prince caught in an assassination plot, loses his memory, wakes up in a village right when the king issues a marriage law that results in his marrying the spirited 'spinster'.

Still 17/Thirty But Seventeen: 17 year old violin prodigy in a coma after an accident, wakes up when she's 30; the boy who inadvertently caused the accident runs into her again after she wakes up and helps her adjust to her new life. Lots of wacky humour, very sweet!!

[noaltbruh]

Bucci gang and Christmas time!

Do I know we're in the middle of Summer? Yes.

Is that going to stop me from writing headcanons about my favourite characters celebrating my favourite Holiday? No.

(Just a side note: most of the headcanons I write take place in an 'Everyone survives universe', keep this particularly in mind while reading this post)

Enjoy! 🎄

Giorno! 🐞

-Giorno has never celebrated Christian once in his entire life. To be honest...He almost feels a sense of spite thinking about this Holiday, because his parents used to neglect him even more during this time of the year. They would spend entire days out, going party with their friends, buying presents for other people, and wouldn't bother in the slightest to decorate the house with a single light

-For a long time, all he could think about when this festivity came into his mind was the dull plate of cold food his parents would leave him to heat in the microwave, but that wasn't nearly as freezing as the feeling of sorrow that filled his heart. He would sit by the window, watching other people having fun together, while he was all alone in that gloomy, small apartment.

-Can you even imagine how he felt when he first celebrated Christmas with the gang?

-He failed to understand why pretty much everyone was so exited, most of them weren't even Christian. He thought he didn't even deserve to participate, not after all the 'morally questionable' things he does as the Don of Passione

-But it didn't take much for the gang to realize how Giorno felt about Christmas, and they were determined to prove him that he had gotten the wrong idea about this Holiday

-When he noticed that he others were trying to drag him in the 'Christmas spirit', he immediately protested, claiming that he had too many errands to attend to

-Needless to say, they didn't buy it

-Eventually, he gave up, accepting to give this festivity a chance, if that would have made them happy. After all, they've been trying so hard to lift his spirit, he would have felt ungrateful rejecting them even now

-He helped with the preparations in any way he could, from decorating the house to buying gifts for everyone.

-What he hadn't realized, is how much effort and care he was putting in everything he was doing. It wasn't something he agreed to solely to please them, he was genuinely enjoying it, he wanted to be a part of this, even though he failed to fully understand it.

-His favourite part was filling the house and the back garden with lights and any other sort of decorations: candles, wreaths, festoons, music boxes, or just other ornaments in general

-When the 25th of December finally arrived, Giorno was ecstatic. Seeing his entire family having so much fun together, opening presents, admiring the lights, watching cheesy Christmas movies while wrapped up in warm blankets, it felt so...Simple, but so reassuring, he couldn't even put into words how he felt

-His favourite present was a huge encyclopedia about nature. He always reads it before going to bed, it helps him fall asleep faster and more peacefully

-Like I mentioned in my previous post, I think Giorno really likes anything that tastes even slightly sweet, so he absolutely adores Christmas treats! Pandori, panettoni, tronchetti, hot chocolate...He loves all of them!

-He can't deny that he felt really bad when they had to take off all the decorations, and while he wouldn't openly say it, he wishes for Christmas to come back again as soon as possible

Bruno! 🤐

-Bruno is the second most exited in the gang for Christmas! (Can you already tell who's the first? :) ) He's the only one, however, that cares about the religious aspect of it, which is particularly important in a country like Italy.

-It's his favourite Holiday, and it was considered the most important festivity in his family, since all of his relatives were Christians. Besides, he had always been personally attached to it, as it was one of the very few times where he could see his mom, which used to spoil him in whatever way she could

-He goes to Church either very early on Christmas Morning, while everyone is still asleep, or at exactly midnight between the 24th and the 25th. Most of the people that go at times like these are old grannies, but Bruno doesn't care, he thinks it's cute actually ^^

-As he was raised in a relatively humble environment, having the chance to celebrate Christmas in quite the...Extravagant way, after joining Passione, almost felt out of place for him

-That doesn't mean, however, that he doesn't care about the 'materialistic' part of the Festivity, because he sees it as a way to rest his head for a while and spend some quality time with the ones he cares about

-His role as the mom of the group is also remarkably present during the preparations. Bruno is the one that mostly takes care of cooking for everyone, and he enjoys it a lot! His favourite part is preparing sweets of any kind, because they allow him to experiment a lot and always try new recipes

-Every member of the gang has to participate in one way or another to the preparations, and Bruno is the one that coordinates the whole thing

-Bucciarati always gets everyone the best presents. He starts thinking about what to get for them a month before the others, so that he never finds himself in a rush and can take all the time he needs to find the perfect gift

-He also LOVES making and receiving hand-made presents, he can feel all the effort and love that was put into them, and it just feels more thoughtful than something that was bought, no matter how expensive it may have been

-Bruno is that sort of person that prefers to spend Christmas without doing anything particularly exciting, just enjoying the calm and warm atmosphere that fills the house

-However, Bucciarati also loves to go for a long walk down the streets, admiring the lights all around the town, bringing along anyone in the gang that wishes to join him

Mista! 🔫

-While the manga states that Mista believes in a 'God', I don't think he believes in Jesus, Holy Mary, and the rest. He used to go to Church when he was little, but mostly because his parents forced him to, he didn't actually care

-Because of this, he sees Christmas as a materialistic Festivity, but that doesn't mean he's not excited for it. He thinks that it's the perfect excuse for everyone to just chill for a little while and have fun

-Unlike Bruno and Giorno, who prefer to just relax at home without doing anything that requires a lot of energy, Mista is always looking forward to something exiting to do during this time of the year

-Do you want an example? Ice skating! This boy is incredibly good at skating, and he constantly flexes on the entire gang how good he is

-He's that type of person that forgets to buy presents for the gang, and only remembers at the last minute. He's lost count of how many times he had to fight with another costumer because they wanted to buy the same thing, and there was only one left

-Once, a dude was so insistent that he had to pull out his gun to scare him away. Guess what? It worked. Nobody in that shop ever dared to argue with him again

-"Get your damn hands off this videogame, I have a seventeen years old little brother that won't talk to me for two weeks if I don't buy this for him!"

-Aside from getting gifts for Narancia, Trish and the rest, he also gives something to each one of the sex pistols. It's mostly food, but they don't really seem to mind

-Even in this time of the year, Mista is still hot. While everyone is wearing sweaters, long trousers and coats, this madman is still wearing shorts. Trish constantly complains about it, saying that he's going to catch a bad cold, if not worse, if he keeps on dressing like this. He never actually listens to her though

-Like I mentioned early, everyone in the gang has to take care of the preparations in different ways. Mista, together with Fugo, has to buy all the ingredients Bruno needs. It may seem like an easy task, but it isn't; friendly reminder that they have to buy enough stuff for seven people, most of them with very different tastes

-He often gets fed up with waiting in line, and just takes everything he needs and leave without paying. Nobody has the courage to complain, they know better than messing around with a guy like that

-He will most likely steal some of Abbacchio's wine and get drunk. He usually doesn't like alcohol very much, but damn does Abba have good taste in wines

Narancia! 🍊

-You won't find anyone that loves Christmas more than this cute little bundle of sunshine!

-His mother always loved Christmas, and wanted her child to appreciate this Festivity as much as her. Since his parents weren't particularly rich, he always celebrated in a relatively simple way, but his mamma always managed to find a way to make every Christmas different and unique. His father never complained about Mela's excitement, but he barely ever participated in whatever the two of them were organizing. Still, Nari didn't mind, the woman's excitement and joy were successfully passed to her kid

-After she died, for a couple of years, he stopped celebrating Christmas. Not because he didn't want to, he just...Couldn't. His father and him were strangers at this point, and his 'friends' didn't care about it either, they actually thought that it was a stupid thing

-When he finally had the chance to celebrate again after joining Passione, Narancia swore that he wouldn't have let anything, and I say ANYTHING, stop him from enjoying every moment of this Holiday ever again

-Since there are a couple of 'Grinches' in the house, Narancia thinks it's his duty to cheer everyone up, showing them why he loves Christmas so much

-"Nobody's gonna be left out, nope, not on my watch! We're all gonna have a great time, whether you want it or not!"

-Nari already starts to get exited for this Festivity in the moment November arrives, there's nothing he looks forward to more, not even his birthday

-When Bruno finally mentions that it's time to start organizing everything, Narancia jumps from his seat, and it's one of the very few occasions where he listens carefully without spacing out

-Just like Giorno, this baby boy loves decorating the house, they make an awesome team together!

-"Giorno! Look look look...You gotta see this!" "What is it, Narancia?" "THIS SNOW GLOBE! ISN'T IT JUST SOOOOOOOO CUTE?" -"Hehe...I suppose so"

-You may think that, similar to Mista, he forgets to buy presents, but that's not the case! Narancia wants to surprise the entire gang with his awesome gifts, and when they think he can't find anything better...Boom! He slaps an even more amazing present in their faces (not literally, of course)

-Even though he can't cook, he's more than willing to help Bruno with decorating the sweets, filling them with frosting, cream, small fruits, chocolate chips...Anything Bucciarati says he can use, really

-He also loves to go admiring the lights with the latter, always pointing out everything he sees

-"GAAAAASP...AN ENTIRE TREE MADE OF LIGHTS? AM I DREAMING?" "I'd say it's real, would you like to take a picture next to it?" "Yes, please!"

-Every year he wishes for the city to finally be covered in snow, but sadly, when you live in a hot country like Italy, that's most likely going to remain a fantasy

-He really likes wearing those oversized, horrible Christmas-themed sweaters, and genuinely thinks they're cute. He hopes for someone to wear them with him, but nobody ever seems to accept

-He tried convincing Fugo once, it uhm...Didn't go too well. But one of these years, he's going to get Giorno to wear one, he's sure of it!

-Nari still believes in Santa, and Bruno will personally ari the crap out of anyone who dares to tell him that he's not real. He leaves some cookies and milk in front of the tree in the living room, saying that he's going to stay awake the entire night to finally see him. He always ends up falling asleep...So one of the members of the gang has to carry him over to bed

-During Christmas lunch, he will 100% sure overeat, to the point where he can barely stand up from the chair, but still denying verything and acting like his stomach isn't about to explode

Fugo! 🍓

-Similar to Giorno, Fugo doesn't have any particular happy memories of Christmas from his childhood

-His entire family used to reunite to celebrate together. At first sight, it seemed like nothing was wrong: everyone was having fun with their loved ones, but for Fugo...It just felt so fake

-He knew that in the moment his relatives left, his parents would have gone back to their strict and distant behavior. Even during this time of the year, they still pressured him, just in a softer way. They wouldn't let him rest until he finished all the homework his teachers gave for Christmas Holidays, they wouldn't let him play with his other cousins, saying that he was too mature, and the list went on

-The only thing that comforted him was his grandmother, whom the rest of the family only invited for pity. She was the only one that would actually give Fugo something a child would genuinely like, like a puzzle or a plushie

-He was the first member to join Bucciarati's squad, so I'm guessing that they must have spent one Christmas together, just the two of them

-At first, the blonde tried to convince Bruno to just leave him alone, inviting him to celebrate with his relatives, saying that he would have been okay on his own

-Obviously, a good mom would never leave his child, so he declined his propose. For some reason...The man's behavior reminded Fugo a lot of his grandmother, and that was the first Christmas this Strawberry boy cherished in his heart

-While they mostly kept it to something simple, when the others arrived things started to get more and more loud, especially with Narancia

-Even though he would rather just spend the day relaxing at home with something warm to drink, he always ends up being dragged into whatever Nari and Mista are planning on doing. He fell like...10 times when they went ice skating together

-Fugo still acts kinda moody towards this time of the year, as his pride is too high for him to admit that he likes something so 'sentimental'

-He's also super done with having to go shopping with Mista to buy groceries, but he has to help in one way or another

-"Alright...Mista, Fugo, you two will buy all the ingredients I'm going to need"

"Urgh...It's cold outside, and I don't want to wait in line...Do I really have to?"

"Oh? Would you rather setting up the decorations with Giorno and Narancia?"

Cut to Nari already covered in lights while giggling like a kid

"...Just give me the list already"

"Wow, rude"

-Speaking of which, Fugo's immune system is not uhm...The best, and this means that he's always super scared of catching a cold in this period. While he doesn't show it, it'd pain him a lot to ruin everyone else's fun with his sickness

-He constantly wears super heavy clothes, even when they're at home, with all the windows closed and the wood burning in the fire place

-He always looks like a potato sack in the photos, but that doesn't really bother him a lot

-He isn't very good when it comes to making presents. He tries, and remembers to buy them on time, but he's not a particularly creative boy. He's that kind of person that would mostly just buy clothes or relatively 'simple' things, not that I can really blame him...That's pretty much all he received when he was a child

Abbacchio! ⏮️

-Oh boy...OH BOY! The Grinch himself, the Christmas hunter, the gloomy Lord in person

-I like to think that Abbacchio was one of the very few very people in the gang that actually grew up with a loving family, so he was more than happy to celebrate Christmas when he was a child

-One year, his parents gave him a police officer hat as a present, and he refused to take it off for days, even though it was obviously too big for him

-This means that unlike Giorno and Fugo, whose reason for disliking Christmas goes back to this childhood, his hate towards it is much more recent and somewhat less 'justified'

-After the loss of his colleague, he became apathetic to almost everything around him, and this Holiday was not spared. It was quite the opposite, to be honest

-He can't stand the whole cheerful and happy atmosphere, he thinks it's suffocating and makes him sick. Plus, "having a bunch of brats jumping up and down, singing lame carols and decorating the house like it's some birthday party" doesn't help

-Despite Narancia's efforts, the only one who can really get him out of this mood (pun intended) is Bucciarati

-"Just stop it already, Bruno. Go have fun with the children, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about any of this?"

-"And how many times do I have to tell you that you're not going to get rid of me that easily?"

-"...Whatever"

-Honestly, what he likes the most about this festivity is that he has an excuse for getting drunk af without anyone complaining. He takes the fanciest and most expensive bottle of wine he has and drinks all of it in less than 10 minutes

-The gang even bets money on how long it's going to take him to finish the whole thing, either Mista or Narancia usually win, since the others tend to underestimate Abbacchio's alcoholic "abilities"

-He puts minimal effort, mostly just because he's forced to, in buying presents for the squad. He's also super biased and obviously plays favourites, even though he would never admit it

-He'd buy something super special for Bruno, try a bit harder to pick up something for Narancia and Trish and take the first thing he sees for Fugo and Mista. As for Giorno...He literally just buys some coal, writes 'Buon Natale' on a piece of paper and slaps it on the carbon

-He has a relatively simple job regarding the preparations for Holiday time, which is...

-"Very well, Abbacchio...You have to pick up the tree from the basement and bring it to the living room"

"Why me? That thing is so fu***ng heavy"

"Exactly, do you want somebody else to lift it up and break their spine? I'd rather not spend Christmas night at the hospital"

-"Sigh...Alright, just because YOU ask"

-Slowly, but surely, he's learning to love Christmas again, though he will still keep on acting grumpy and complain every time he has the chance to

Trish! 🎙

-This girl is ready to brighten up all the festivities! When it's time to have fun, Trish doesn't hesitate even for a moment!

-Similar to Narancia and Bruno, her mother couldn't afford anything super expensive or exciting during this time of the year (taking care of a child on your own is no easy job), but Trish never dared to complain. She was aware of the sacrifices her mother was making to make sure that her child had everything she needed, she wouldn't have thrown a tantrum for something superficial

-Donatella would always give her a new doll as a present, and she would play with it for entire hours without getting tired. Her favourite one was, of course, a blonde doll dressed up as a pop star

-Just like her daughter, she was extraordinarily good when it came to choosing what to wear, which means that when Trish entered her 'teen phase', the woman would gift her a dress instead. Needless to say, the girl loved it every time!

-Speaking of which, after becoming part of the gang, her favourite "Christmas activity", if it counts, was going shopping! I mean...Do you think a person like her would miss out on the Sales? Please

-She doesn't like going on his own though, and brings along somebody with her. That 'somebody's ends up being Mista most of the times, which is literally just DRAGGED out of his room to the shopping centre

-Trish is that sort of person (I mean...I don't know if that's a thing in other countries, but it's pretty much a meme here in Italy) who insists that she's on a diet even during the Holiday season, but every single time someone offers something to eat, she replies with "Whatever, I'll just start next week" or "I'll start after New Year".

-Before she knows, it's the 8th of January and she hasn't been on a diet even for a day.

-One day, she'd like to travel around the world and see how they celebrate this Festivity in other countries. As you can already tell, she valued the materialistic part of Christmas than the 'spiritual' one, and she knows that in a lot of places it isn't considered a religious Holiday in the first place

-One thing she dislikes is how she's forced to wear super heavy and long clothes, she hates them and insists that they make her look fat (which is absolutely not true)

-She LOVES taking pictures of everything! Food? Yes. Decorations? Yes. Gifts? Yes. Just photos in general where the seven of them are together? Y E S!

-Some of them try to run away when they realize that Trish is about to start a freaking photoshoot, but their struggles are always vain, especially since she has Bruno's support

-"Come oooooon, just one last picture!" "Trish, for the love of God, the lasagna is getting cold" "So what? Microwaves exist for a reason" "We are NOT going to ruin all this food by putting it in the Microwave!"

-Being the singer of the group, she takes any opportunity she has to sing a Christmas-themed song, both Carols and modern/pop songs like 'All I want for Christmas'. Half of the times she doesn't even understand the lyrics, but that's not going to stop her for sure

-She definitely doesn't forget to buy presents for the others. After she goes shopping so much, how could she? Most people think it's lame to receive a clothes as a present, but we're taking about Trish here!

-She knows very well how every member likes to dress, and she surely doesn't have problems with her budget. She will pick something for each one of her companions even better than what they would take for themselves

-Lastly, her 'task' is to decorate the tree, which is one of the longest assignments that also require a lot of attention and precision. Why, you may ask? Because that thing is freaking huge, that's why. Giorno and Narancia will probably help her out once they're done with their own decorations, the three of them have a lot of fun together!

[arotechno]

The Heartless: Chapter 1

Next

Read on Inkitt

(A/N: HOOOO boy here we go, after five years of staring down the barrel of this thing it’s finally done! Important question: does it matter to y’all if I don’t post the text of the chapter directly below the cut in the future and just link to Inkitt? I ask because formatting for tumblr was beyond annoying and I’m not looking forward to doing it for like 20 more chapters. But if it’s necessary for accessibility reasons, I’m willing to do it.)

Chapter I: in which the story begins

When the winter first melted into spring, Basil and I crept to the edge of the woods behind our houses to pick wildflowers in the meadow. It was still too early for raspberries; in the summer, we’d fill our baskets and our stomachs with them until our mouths were stained red with juices. Our mothers would bake pies in the afternoon and we’d eat them in the evening, cleaning every last scrap from our supper plates with the promise of a sweet dessert. Now, the earth was still cool beneath our bare feet, our toes wiggling in the soft dirt. Once we’d filled our fists with flowers, we settled in the tall grass and began weaving together goldenrod, daisies, and violets into flower crowns and daisy chains.

Basil presented his work and beamed at me, shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun with the back of his hand. “Take it, I want you to wear it,” he urged, thrusting the flower crown into my lap.

“But you worked so hard on it,” I replied.

He shrugged and brushed the dirt from his tanned knees. “I want you to have it,” he insisted, reaching forward and taking the crown from my lap to place it gently on my head.

I stared down at my own work in my hands; it was not nearly as beautiful as the one Basil had made. Some of the stems had split, and many of the flowers had lost some of their leaves and petals. I didn’t have the same steady hands that he did.

“In that case, I want you to have mine, too,” I decided, pressing the crown onto Basil’s head as a couple more leaves fluttered to the ground.

Basil grinned a mile wide, practically radiating sunshine with every inch of his being. “Now we match,” he beamed.

A peaceful silence fell over the meadow. Behind us, the trees rustled in the woods. Insects hovered in the grass, hopping from flower to flower; Basil jumped when a bee buzzed past his face to land in the flowering raspberry bushes that bordered the tree line.

“We’ll be friends forever, right, Basil?” I asked after a while, sheepishly adjusting my flower crown.

"Of course we will,” he responded. “Even when we’re old!”

 “How old? Like, eighteen? That’s super old!”

Basil laughed. “Yeah! Eighteen and then even older!”

I smiled hopefully. “And we can still make flower crowns like this?”

“Ace, when we’re eighteen, I’ll still make you all the flower crowns you want,” Basil decreed with a grin. “That’s a promise.”

* * *

The warmth of the sun and Basil’s innocent smile faded as I woke up to last night’s rain dripping down on me from the cracks in the ceiling above. Bertrand stood over me, jostling me awake with one hand while the other held a vial of another one of his concoctions. I assumed I had fallen asleep after supper, because the dishes remained untouched by the washbasin and twilight was just pouring in through the window.

“Drink up,” Bertrand commanded in that voice of his that just begged to be disobeyed, holding the potion in front of me expectantly as if to remind me of the curse that filled the vacant space within me. He stared at me with piercing eyes over the top of his dull gray beard, swishing the vial back and forth for emphasis.

I grabbed it from his wrinkly hand and sloshed the red liquid around in disgust before shutting my eyes and downing it in one gulp, just to appease him. Even so, I could not resist the urge to lay a hand against my chest, but still I felt nothing. Shaking my head, I rose from my cot and pushed past Bertrand, grabbing my bow and arrow off the hook by the door and slinging it over my shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Bertrand called after me.

“Out,” I answered, already halfway out the rickety wooden door.

“It’s past nightfall, Ace, it’s dangerous out there!”

But I was already gone, walking away from the old house as the door slammed shut behind me with a satisfying thud.

Over the seven years I’d spent under Bertrand’s leaky roof, I had slowly become disillusioned with the idea of ever finding a potion strong enough to light a fire in my ribcage. Bertrand had tested a lot of his spells on me throughout my life, but the love potion had always proven to be the least effective.

But I suppose that is to be expected when you do not have a heart.

The Village of the Heartless was smaller than the town where I grew up. A single dirt road ran from the village gates to the top of the hill, through the neighborhood before coming to a stop at the edge of the woods that surrounded the kingdom of Amistadia. We were a close-knit community, learning to provide and look out for each other through thick and thin, through every harsh winter and plentiful spring.

Bertrand’s house stood at the edge of the village, where the hill dropped off toward the gates below. At the base of the hill stood a large, sturdy oak tree where I perched some nights with my bow and arrow on the lookout for trouble.

Nights in the Village of the Heartless were always dark, as we could never afford enough oil to keep all of the town’s lamps lit, but they weren’t always quiet. Kids from neighboring towns sometimes wandered the area at night, brandishing knives in their grimy hands, looking to stir up trouble. Tonight was no exception; as I neared the village limits, I caught a glimpse of a pair of boys making their way down the road, and a thrill shot up my spine. I climbed swiftly up the oak tree and perched in the shadow of its lush, leafy branches, fingers itching for my bow.

The pair dragged a child behind them by the arm, yanking her across the dirt with them as they cackled and cheered triumphantly at their prized catch. The girl held tightly to a canvas sack, trying fruitlessly to pull away from her captors.

“Get away, get away!” she shrieked, dodging a blow as she fell to the ground, clutching the bag to her torso desperately.

“What’s the matter, little runt?” one of the assailants sneered. “You’re not afraid of a couple of kids, are you?”

“I just wanted something to eat!” the girl cried out as a likely filthy knife narrowly missed her cheek.

If I had been in my right mind, I would have simply shot the pair of boys in the shoulder, snatched up the child, and run away, but Basil’s face kept flashing in my mind; an anger was boiling in my gut that demanded confrontation.

“Hey, ugly!” I shouted, pulling back an arrow and pointing it in their direction.

The kid with the knife froze, eyes darting up to my place on the tree branch. I was yards away, but I could see the glint of light from the last of the setting sun on the knife as his fist tightened around it. His partner, as well as the child still laying on the ground with the sack clutched to her chest, stared wide-eyed as he

“Who’re you talking to?” he grumbled.

“Doesn’t matter,” I quipped, hopping down from my perch and tightening my grip on the arrow. “Just let the kid go.”

“Why should I?” he retorted, nonetheless taking a step back when he saw the arrow aimed directly at his head. “Y-You’re not really going to shoot that.”

“How do you know?”

The other kid called out, “Hey, let’s just get out of here.” He was ignored.

Pointing to the little girl, Knife Boy puffed out his chest and continued, “There’s no way you’re really worried about her. You Heartless are all the same; you don’t feel a damned thing. No way you’d go out of your way to save her.”

I allowed myself a bitter, self-indulgent smirk, too brief to be seen in the thick darkness. “If that’s what you believe, that I am entirely emotionless, then wouldn’t it also stand to reason that I would feel no remorse about ending your sorry life right here and now?” I drew my bowstring further; the wood audibly creaked. “If that’s the case, then it would seem you had better start running.”

Knife Boy froze, taking a few steps back before he and his friend took off running in the direction they came. “Cursed bastards!” he yelled over his shoulder as he hopped the gate and disappeared. Once they were out of sight, I let my arms drop to my side and slung my bow back over my shoulder. I felt my brow furrow in frustration; life in the village had become so mundane that I was almost hoping for a fight. I quickly stifled that selfish thought, pushing it to the far recesses of my mind; the girl, who had stayed completely still on the ground throughout the whole ordeal, now scrambled to her feet, still clutching the bag in her white-knuckled hands. Now, no longer squinting through the dark, I recognized her immediately.

“That was awesome! How did you know what to say?” she beamed, slinging the canvas sack over her shoulder and wiping the dirt from a pair of ratty pants that fell three inches from her ankles.

"Petra, you’re the one who I keep hearing has been stealing food from the neighboring villages?” I asked her, and her expression soured immediately at having been caught.

“Yeah, that was me,” Petra admitted under her breath. Then, scrambling to justify herself, she added, “But I only do it because there’s not enough food in the village and I gotta eat something!”

I nodded, mulling it over. “Sure, now I suppose I can’t blame you for that, but stealing is wrong. You’re plenty old enough to know that.”

“Of course, I know that, but I needed food!”

“Fine, I get it, I get it,” I sighed. “Just don’t make this a habit, got it? I promised Annie I would keep you out of trouble.”

Petra pouted. “Fine,” she mumbled. I started back up the hill, with Petra trotting silently alongside me.

At thirteen years old, Petra had been living in the Village of the Heartless since she was a baby—which was still longer than I’d been in town—left outside the home of one of the village women, Annie, in the middle of the night. I’d met her several years ago, and she quickly became enthralled with my stories of life outside the village. Annie was dead several months now, leaving Petra to fend mostly for herself, though the community kept a watchful eye over her (Not watchful enough, I thought ruefully).

“You didn’t tell me how you knew what to say to that kid,” she urged, struggling to keep up with my strides.

“I used to spend time around those kinds of people a lot when I was a kid,” I explained, deciding to humor her. “I’ve learned how to turn their own words against them by now.”

I did not tell her that had I learned how to do so sooner, things may have turned out a lot differently.

 * * *

I eventually sent Petra home with a warning that I’d be watching to make sure she didn’t get into any more trouble. When I crossed the threshold back into Bertrand’s musty old house, the palm of his hand came down hard across my face, leaving a sharp stinging sensation behind on my skin.

“What on earth was that for?” I yelped. Bertrand grabbed me by the wrist and dropped me into one of the rickety dining chairs in the center of the room, bearded face practically sparking with rage.

“You must not keep doing that!” he scolded.

“Doing what?” I asked innocently.

“Getting into confrontations with… hooligans! What else?”

“I did what I had to—”

“Don’t think I wasn’t watching, Ace! I could see the entire ordeal from the window!”

 “Well maybe if you’d actually done something to help instead of just watching—”

“Unlike you, Ace, I value my life and am not going to get myself killed just to feel like the hero!”

I couldn’t help but bristle at his comment. Something in my soul shattered, and I sprung to my feet, the wooden chair tipping backward onto the stone floor behind me with a loud clatter that would have rang through the eaves had I not immediately erupted into theatrics.

“What do you mean you value your life? All you do is sit around making futile potion after potion and you still think it’ll work next time!” I clenched my fists at my sides, willing the confrontational energy in my veins to burn out before it swallowed me whole. “So maybe I need to tell off some asshole every once in a while to finally feel like I’m doing something meaningful. So you can keep pouring bile down my throat all you want, but I can assure you it’ll never make me happy!”

Bertrand’s face fell, and I knew deep down that I had hurt him, but I could not bring myself to feel guilty. He had it coming, I thought, stalking across the room to my cot by the window. I sat down on the thin mattress, kicked off my boots, and pulled my knees up to my chest.

“Ace—” Bertrand, having followed me, reached out a hand as if to lay it on my shoulder, but I flinched away from the touch and he retracted the appendage as if he had been burned.

“Don’t touch me,” I muttered, directing my gaze out the window at the dark, lonely night creeping across the landscape. “Just leave me alone.”

With a sigh, Bertrand retreated from my bedside, retiring to his back potion room to conjure his demons away, and I sat back against the wall, longing for home and the warm voices of my parents.

That night, I dreamt of Knife Boy, and his words reminded me of Carita, the girl who kissed me under an oak tree when we were younger and told me I was weird for flinching

Next chapter releases 7/25!

[itsmelaurel]

Begin Again

Summary: When your best friends move away for college, you think life is officially over. However, you find yourself making new friends including the blonde surfer from the other side of the island.

one

—————————————————

two.

The last three weeks of summer went by way too fast and it was finally your last first day of high school. You were currently out on the front steps of your home with a sign that said Senior. It was a tradition your mom went all out for every single school year.

“Looking like a snack before 8 am should be illegal.” Sarah shouted from behind your mom which caused you to roll your eyes.

“Oh, perfect shot. Probably going to use that for the Christmas card.” Your dad clapped sarcastically at your attitude being caught on camera.

“Alright, now all the kids on the steps.” Your mom directed. You and Sarah sat down first. Wheezie sat next to you and Katie, Kelce’s sister, sat on the other side of Sarah. Knowing it was only four of you this year had your heart sinking a little. These steps typically held seven Kildare Prep students. Now it was down to four and next year there would only be two left.

“I’ve got to send this to the boys. I tried to get them to take pictures on their first day of classes, but I was told they were too grown for that.” Kelce’s mom said while huddling next to Rose.

You had been successful in keeping busy these past few weeks in order to keep your mind off your best friend's physical absence in your life. All of you still texted every day in the group chat, but the promised daily FaceTime calls were slowly fading.

While you were busy with cheerleading and hanging out with the pogues, the boys had joined a frat and started classes two weeks ago. On top of that, they started partying several nights during the week and getting blackout on the weekends.

They still had no idea you were hanging out with the pogues. When they asked what you were up to, you would always tell them just hanging out with friends. Surprisingly, they never asked who. Just assuming you would never willingly hang out with the pogues.

You weren’t technically lying to them, but you constantly felt guilty about it. Then Sarah would remind you that they were living their best life at college, so why couldn’t you?

“Okay my sweet little babes, it’s time to head to school.” Your mom finally stops the photo shoot and pulls you from your thoughts. Her and your dad kiss your cheek goodbye, both of them tearing up when you get in your Jeep. They were so dramatic and you freaking loved them for it.

“I’ll see you at school after I drop these two off. Wait for me?” Sarah asked while leaning in your window. You promised to wait for her before leaving the driveway.

Arriving at school early was new for you. Last year you, Sarah and Kelce typically rode together in the mornings when Rafe had football and Topper had lacrosse. Kelce and Sarah were never on time which resulted in you running to first period with minutes to spare.

The song changed in the car, a soft country melody flowing through the speakers. The only person who listens to country is Topper and you roll your eyes at the fact he snuck this onto your playlist. Thinking of him made you realize that they really won’t be walking the halls with you today. It made your throat tighten with emotion at how different this year is going to be. The anxiety that you’ve done such a good job of hiding these past few years comes bubbling up unexpectedly.

Before you can stop yourself, you dial his number hoping it will calm your nerves. It rings a fourth, fifth and sixth time before it goes to voicemail and you hang up before you even hear the greeting. A dark, little voice in the back of your head says that he’s in college now and wouldn’t want to be bothered before 8 am about you're pathetic feelings.

The phone ringing through the speaker startles you and you immediately answer it without looking at the caller id thinking it’s Topper.

“Morning sunshine” JJs sleepy voice rasps through the car speakers.

“Morning punkin” a smile graces your face at the sickly sweet nicknames. It’s become a little joke between the two of you, mostly making fun of John B and Sarah’s overly sappy relationship.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice sounding more alert than just a few seconds ago.

“Nothing, why?” your teeth capture your bottom lip and bite down.

“Somethings up”

“Nothings up-”

“Nu uh, don’t do that. Don’t lie to me. What’s wrong?” He prods hoping you let him in.

“I’m just really nervous about the first day, that’s all.”

“You’re going to have a great day, y/n. And if you don’t there’s nothing ice cream can’t fix.” His words are simple, but it causes you to giggle and your anxiety to melt away.

“How’d you know something was wrong?” You question.

While hanging out with the pogues these last few weeks, you and the blonde surfer had gotten close. When the couples would break off from the group, the two of you would hang out alone.

“I could just sense it and your voice cracked a little when you answered.” You imagine him giving you a shrug as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. But it was.

“Thank you, J.”

“Anytime buttercup. Do you have cheer practice today?” Now he’s the one who sounds nervous.

“I don’t. Why?”

“I don’t have work today either. Do you wanna hang out?” He all but rushes out the last sentence.

“Yeah, i'd like that.” You work out the details and he promises to bring ice cream just in case.

“Hey, you gonna sit out here all day?” Sarah knocks on your window causing you to jump. She gives you a weird look, but doesn’t question it. You climb out of the car and grab your backpack.

“How do I look?” You ask your tall blonde best friend as you head inside, motioning to your makeup and hair.

“I can’t believe you would wear that.” Her eyes scan your body and she grimaces playfully.

“We are wearing the exact same thing.”

“Shit, do you think they will notice?” She looks around at the sea of bodies all wearing a similar version of our private school uniforms.

“You’re so stupid.”

“But you love it.” She sticks her tongue out and you playfully return the gesture, all anxiety from this morning completely gone as you enter first period.

——

When you get home from school, a beautiful floral arrangement of your favorite flowers are sitting on the kitchen counter. A card is folded neatly next to them.

We hope you had a great first day. Wish you were here with us already.

xoxo,

Rafe, Kelce & Topper

Your hand dances over the petals softly as you lean in to smell them. The flowers are beautiful and you snap a picture to send the boys.

Y/n: thank you for the beautiful flowers. kildare prep wasn’t the same without y’all today.

Not even a few seconds after you hit send, your phone is lighting up with a FaceTime call from Rafe.

“There’s my little senior.” His voice is teasing as he comes into view. He looks the same as the last time you physically saw him. Hair gelled back and blue eyes bright as the sky.

“Thank you for the flowers.” You know it was him who specifically ordered them from the cheesy xoxo. It was something he started using after he watched a couple of episodes of Gossip Girl with you.

“I’m glad you like them. How was your first day?” He questions and you give him a quick rundown, laughing when you tell him about Sarah falling asleep in 2nd period with drool coming out of her mouth.

“Did you miss me?” He asks playfully, but there's a twinge of something else there too.

“Of course I did, Rafe.” You tilt your head as you watch him lay back on his bed.

“I miss you so much.” He admits softly and it catches you off guard. Rafe isn’t one to share his feelings or be vulnerable in any way.

“I miss-” you begin to tell him how much you miss him, possibly even admit how your heart aches when you think of all of them, but you're cut off quickly by someone busting through his bedroom door.

“Cameron! Are you ready to get lit?” His new roommate Parker comes into view when Rafe sits up in bed.

“Dude, I’m on the phone.” Rafe gestures to the obvious FaceTime call.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Parker leans down and waves at you. “Hey y/n! How was the first day of kindergarten?” He laughs obnoxiously at his own joke and you wrinkle your nose in return. Parker wasn’t the worst person they could be roommates with, but he was pretty annoying most of the time. He lived for the frat life and everything college stood for. If you weren’t in college, he only referred to you as a child.

“Knock it off.” Rafe gives him a look, but Parker just flips him off.

“It’s okay Rafe, I have to go anyway.” You glance at the clock knowing JJ would be there any minute.

“No, don’t go. I’ll go down the hall.” Rafe says in a panic clearly not ready for your call to be over.

“I really do have to go, maybe we can talk another night this week?”

“Why can’t we talk later tonight before bed?” He questions.

“Because apparently you are about to get lit.” You let an impassive mask slip over your face.

“Oh, right.” He says as if he forgot he already has plans. “I could cancel and we could have a FaceTime movie night?”

“Dude, you aren’t cancelling. The four of us have had this planned since Sunday.” Parker chimes in with a look of mock disgust at his roommate. Thankfully the doorbell rings providing you with the perfect excuse to get off the phone.

“Rafe, I have to go. Text me later.” You blow him a kiss and hang up before he can say anything else.

However, your dad beats you to the door and let’s JJ in while you're still in the kitchen.

“My man. I didn’t know you were coming over today.” You hear your dad's voice followed by JJ saying something you can’t quite hear. They share one of those bro hugs making your eyes roll.

JJ and the rest of the pogues have been over to your house a lot the past three weeks. While your parents loved each of your new friends, they were especially fond of the blue eyed boy that would come over by himself sometimes.

“I promised the princess some ice cream.” He winked at you when he walked into the kitchen.

“Why does that not surprise me?” Your dad smirked with a shake of his head. “Wanna stay for dinner? We’re having steaks.”

“Uh, if that’s okay?” JJs eyes look to you to make sure you are okay with this and you nod.

“Perfect, I’m going to get the grill ready.” Your dad walks out leaving the two of you standing alone in the kitchen. JJs eyes roam over your body and he lets out a low whistle.

“Wow, this uniform is something else.” His words cause you to blush.

“I know you're jealous that you don’t get to wear it every day.”

“Caught me.” He laughs and you join him. Your phone starts ringing and you check to see who it is.

Rafe

You let it ring out only for it to start ringing again with Kelce’s name.

“The powerpuff girls seem eager to talk today.” JJ comments as he takes in the flowers and your phone ringing off the hook.

“Hey, don’t call them that.” You squint your eyes at the nickname.

JJ scoffs “Like they don’t call me worse names when you tell them we’re hanging out. Do you correct them?” He questions as he steps closer to you. You bite your lip and watch as his eyes darken.

“You do correct them, right?” He asks again when you hesitate to answer.

“Well, they would have to know we hang out in order for me to do that.” You admit sheepishly.

“We’ve been hanging out for three weeks. How do they not know?” His eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. You can see his train of thought even though he hasn’t said it out loud.

Surely she’s told them about me.

“When I tell them I’m hanging out with friends they don’t ask who. They just assume it’s not the pogues and I don’t correct them.” You watch as he deflates a little at your words.

“That- Uh, I-” He stumbles over his words, hurt dancing across his eyes.

“I’m going to tell them. I was trying to avoid all the kook versus pogue bullshit they are going to spout off.” and you're not sure why you do it but you let your hand slip into his, offering a gentle squeeze hoping it comforts him.

His eyes look down to your hands, his signature smirk back on his face and all the tension in the air slowly disappears with it.

“If you wanted me to be your little secret all you had to do was ask.” His cockiness is back in full swing and you let go of his hand to shove him playfully.

“So, what type of ice cream did you bring?” You ask effectively changing the subject.

The both of you head up to your room to watch Ozark. He asked if you wanted to watch it the last time he was here. You’d never seen it before so it wasn’t a problem to put it on. A little more gore than what you were used to watching, but it was a pretty good show overall.

Next thing you know, you hear your mom hollering that dinner is ready. Your eyes flutter as they try to adjust to the setting sun shining through your window. A hand lightly caresses your arm and you snuggle a little deeper into the bed.

Your eyes pop open when you realize you're actually cuddled into someone and not the bed. The thought causes you to jerk straight up and look over at the boy laying in your bed. His blue eyes are staring back sleepily and a soft smile graces his face.

“I- I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry.” You rush out feeling that predictable blush rising on your cheeks. He reaches over and grabs your hand. His fingers linking with yours much like earlier.

“I didn’t mind it.” He admits honestly.

“Me either.” Your words are barely a whisper but he hears you. Sitting up, his eyes flick down to look at your lips then back up to you making his intentions clear. You nod, giving full permission for him to lean in. His breath hovers over your lips as he gets closer, causing your eyes to flutter shut.

“Y/n! JJ! Let’s go!” It’s your dad's voice that bellows from downstairs this time and both of you jump apart feeling like you’ve been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to.

He stares at you for a moment longer before getting up “Come on, I don’t want to upset your parents.”

You follow closely behind him heading downstairs, head still spinning over what almost just happened.

Never in a million years did you think you and JJ Maybank would be cuddled up napping together or about to share a kiss. It was a lot for you to grasp. So, you push all thoughts of what just happened out of your mind for later and try to play it cool in front of your parents.

Too bad your mom sees right through it.

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