#bangtan-madi writes

[bangtan-madi]

Year of the Rabbit — Seven: Priori

Pairing — Jungkook x Reader, Hoseok x Yoongi, Taehyung x Jimin

Tags — best friend!Jungkook, non-idol au, flower shop au, gym au, florist!MC, gym owner!Jungkook, brother!Namjoon, friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining

Genre — fluff, angst

Word Count — 4.3k

Summary — Blame it on the storm or the secret feelings or the snow-in, but one thing is for sure: a lot can happen to two best friends when they're confined to their stores overnight. 

Warnings — language

Part — 7 / 7 (Outro still to come!)

Previous — Next

It takes the length of the call ringing for you to totally digest what just happened. Eventually, Jungkook's name fades from the black mirror, and the soft lullaby of "Yellow" fades away. You're left gripping the phone between pale fingers, desperately waiting for him to say something else.

When he speaks again, his tone is soft, barely audible, the most tender-sounding thing you've ever heard. "You're the one I love."

Lowering his phone, his hand reaches for yours. You allow him to use gentle pressure to pry your fingers away, and he tosses them both to the side. 

Despite the blood pulsing in your ears, your breath is steady. Disregarding the way your hands tremble when he links his pinky with yours — something you two often do to silently show the other you're there — your mind is blissfully peaceful. Every worry, all your anxieties, the pile of bittersweet emotions you'd kept inside all this time, it's faded like mist.

Jungkook loves you. 

You. 

Not some other girl, not the one he broke up with over Christmas, not one of the many that come into his gym just to flirt. Of all the lovely women in Seoul that he could've fallen for, he didn't mention their names. He didn't call their number. He didn't spend his New Year with any of them.

He said your name. He called your number. He spent the holiday with you, alone and snowed in, cold and dark at the supermarket.

And suddenly, your eyes are damp and ever-so-slightly burning. Not in any way that allows sadness, but in every way that brings you joy. Your pinky curls around his, but you can't bring yourself to speak or meet his gaze. The boy you adore, standing silently beside you, gives you the time you need. More than anything, you want to throw your arms around him and confess your concurrent feelings. You want to hold him closer than you ever have before. But if you move now, you feel the thin glass pane of the confession will shatter and reality will be the solid stone wall behind it.

Almost as if sensing your disbelief, Jungkook leans closer and tucks a stray strand of hair from your face and behind your ear. "You're my priori," he murmurs, a soft smile visible from your peripheral vision. "My one true thing."

Of all the things you thought having your unrequited love confirmed would feel like, you never thought it would be this. You thought it would feel like flying — or maybe falling — like stepping off the edge and having all the love around you carry you to a new world. You always dreamed it would be like riding a rollercoaster with hands held high, heart racing, screaming at the top of your lungs from euphoria. Surely love feels exciting and thrilling and new, like one adventure after another.

Never in any of your daydreams or sleepless nights did you think love would feel so much like a sentimental song playing in the room beside you. Not unfamiliar, something you know from the past — perhaps even a lifetime ago. But it feels right to your soul, and you can't help but walk towards it. And finding that one you love feels like finding your home, and finding out that they feel the same way is like being handed the keys with the words, "It's yours now."

Love feels settled and secure and safe. It's constant and sure and tender, and you're surprised to have already had those things in your friendship with Jungkook. Then there comes a sense of relief when you see that very little will change between you two — but now you don't have to live with secret feelings and unacted-upon adoration. He's your one constant thing, your one true thing; that much you already knew.

Yes, priori is the perfect word.

"Jungkook..."

"Yes?"

Blinking away the tears from your eyes, you thread your fingers with his and finally raise your head. As your eyes meet, you offer a smile. Instantly, Jungkook's worry fades. Your grasp tightens, and you lift your other hand to tug on the edge of his shirt, prompting him to come closer.

"I think...I love you, too."

Jungkook's dimples pop out as he grins, and something like a squeak slips out beyond his control. His giddiness is infatuating, causing you to giggle alongside him. Suddenly, he's the one pulling you into him. The hand-holding turns into warm-embracing. His arms find their way around your waist and back, his hands gripping you closer. You make a sound of surprise when his cold nose buries into the crook of your neck. 

You're just as quick to return the affection. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, and your face nuzzles into his wavy hair. As one fist grips the soft material of his top, the other weaves through the silky locks. Having him this close is nothing you haven't done before; somehow this time feels different.

Just as you start to settle into his embrace, Jungkook's shaking his head against your neck, laughing softly to himself. "What's so funny?" you ask.

"I was so fucking scared you were going to freak out and run away," he chuckles against your skin. "Horrified I was going to lose you."

"Is that why you didn't say anything?" He nods. "How long?"

"Um...years?"

"Jeon Jungkook—!"

"—But especially ever since you left to study in the U.S.," he interrupts, explaining further. "For the first time since I met you, I thought I was going to lose you. Then I realized my feelings were way more than friendly, and that I'd do just about anything to get you back."

You heave a sigh and run your fingers along the exposed skin at the top of his back. "Then why didn't you tell me when I came back? It's been six damn months..."

"Because the fear of losing you was still there," he admits. 

"And now?"

Jungkook shakes his head, then presses a kiss against your shoulder. "Not anymore."

"Well, if you're as brave now as you say you are, when are you going to kiss me?"

The brunet pulls away, swift and with wide eyes. He observes your expression for any sense of a trick or joke but finds nothing other than your teasing smile. Your eyes flicker down to his mouth, which only encourages him more. 

When you graze your fingers across his shoulders and pull your lower lip between your teeth, he snaps. Closing the distance in seconds, his eager mouth presses to yours. He's soft and gentle, but also excited and insistent. You move with him, your hands cradling his face. One hand remains at your waist as the other migrates to your hair. Neither of you can hide the smiles that slip in between kisses.

"You're actually a really good kisser," he giggles.

"Was there ever any doubt?"

Jungkook pecks your mouth again before responding, "Nope, but I had imagined it so many times I was starting to wonder if anything could live up to the moment in my head."

Your heart skips a beat at his confession, and it doesn't go unnoticed that the tips of his ears turn scarlet. "You imagined us together?"

He nods, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. "More than I should've."

Heart full enough to burst at his adorable nature, you tug him back to you, tugging softly on his lower lip as you kiss. Jungkook takes advantage of the chance to slip his hands under your shirt, earning a yelp from you. 

"Wai—Wait," you state, unable to hide the intrusive thought that occurs. "Is this why you broke things off with your ex?"

He groans and pulls away from you, putting mere millimeters between you. "Are you seriously bringing her up right now?"

"Maybe..."

Jungkook rolls his eyes, obviously annoyed with your timing but indulging your curiosity with a smirk just the same. "Yeah. I think she knew I loved you, and we broke it off because of it. But that was a mutual choice."

"And my partners?"

"Oh, they've known since high school."

"What the hell," you scoff with mock horror, bringing his face back towards yours. "You're unbelievable, Gym Bunny."

His grin is wide, showing the very reason for the nickname. "I would say I try, but I don't."

"Shut up and kiss me, idiot."

"You're the one asking ques—!"His complaint is stopped short by your mouth on his, and you press the boundary a little more as you nip at his bottom lip, requesting entrance. Jungkook's lips part, and he steps forward with hands on your hips. Following his lead, you shuffle half a step backward before feeling the sofa put an abrupt stop to your path. Careening off-balance, the pair of you topple over, you barely landing on the cushions before Jungkook awkwardly stumbles and follows suit.

The unexpected puff of air from your lungs has him pushing off of you as much as possible, as soon as possible. Eyes wide, his expression is one of pure shock. Going from an intimate moment to an awkward one is right on par with your relationship. Between that thought and the look on his face, you burst into laughter, throwing your head back as giggles wreck your body.

"Why are we like this?" Eventually, you're able to spout the words. 

By this time, Jungkook's concern has faded, and he's chuckling with you. "It's been this many years of a habit," he shrugs. The brunet pulls his upper body up as to perch on his elbows, which are on either side of your torso. As he gazes up at you, he rests his chin on your chest, looking more adorable by the second, though he's not even trying. "Why change anything now?"

As your laughter settles down, you move a hand playfully through his unruly hair, admiring the fact that it's longer than he usually lets it go. He leans into your touch, clearly enjoying the way your nails graze his scalp.

"Kiss me again?"

Jungkook doesn't wait for you to ask twice; in a heartbeat, he's propped himself up on his forearms, leaning over you, and pressing kisses all over your face. Your eyelids, your forehead, your nose—not one section is left untouched. Well, none except for the place you want to be kissed.

"Your aim is shitty."

He pulls back with raised eyebrows, voice sarcastic. "Oh, I'm sorry, are those not good enough for you?"

You shake your head with a smirk. "Nope."

"Mmm, fine. I'll relent." 

He closes the distance and molds his mouth to yours. Not even a second later, the whole world lights up. Not in the typically cheesy romantic way, but in the very literal way. The lights in the supermarket come to life, and the machinery keeping everything cold whirs softly as background noise. The streetlights outside shine through the frostbitten windows, and the heat begins to pump warmer air into the space. To your elation, the generator in the back room shuts off, having done its duty to keep everything running as much as possible during the blackout. Even the lights of the storefronts outside the supermarket light up once more.

"Power's back," you murmur, realizing that the night snowed in is coming to an end, and reality will slowly follow suit. Turning back to face Jungkook, you see his face equally as downcast as yours. "I guess that's a good thing, right? At least we can go home and get some actual sleep."

He chuckles, then rests his cheek against your chest. "I slept just fine, thanks."

You bury your nose into his hair and sigh, recalling what you were doing the night prior before the power shut off. "Or I can get to work. I still need to get everything done for that wedding. I just hope the order went through before the outage..." 

Jungkook sighs, lifts his head, and mutters, "Can you do me a favor?" At your nod, he continues. "Leave the shop for a few hours. Spend some time with me in a place that's actually warm. Let me get you that shitty takeout I promised you and just...be with me for a while. No work. No worries. Just us." He brushes his fingers against your ribcage, barely under your shirt. "Can you do that?"

Seeing the puppy-dog twinkle in his eyes, you roll your eyes with playful abandon. Your best friend grins, knowing he's won. "Fiiine. But Natsukashii is anything but shitty."

At your promise, Jungkook is eager to return to the flower shop for the bike he arrived on. Step by careful step, you make your way into the storage room, up the ladder, and across the attic overhead. Once down the hatch and into the shop, you're taken back by the shiver down your spine. You can only hope that the handful of hours without power didn't take too harsh a tole on the floral displays in the windows or horticulture pods in the back room.

Jungkook tosses you his sweatshirt, remaining only in a long-sleeved T-shirt. You open your mouth to protest, but he shoots you a glare that says, "Just put the damn shirt on already."

If you thought the interior was chilly, the walkway out front is bitter cold. Jungkook mounts the bike with ease, and he nods for you to hop on the back. After scooting onto a seat probably, no definitely, not made for two, he takes off in the direction opposite your apartment.

"Where are we going?"

"My place, it's a lot closer than yours," he says, glancing over his shoulder for a moment. "If that's all right. I already fed your cat, so she's fine."

You flash a small smile, nodding your approval. "That's perfect."

The ride is thankfully short, and less than five minutes later, Jungkook is pulling up to the front of his apartment. It's inconspicuous, near the edge of the neighborhood, and a perfect length away from his gym. As he parks it at the biking rack outside, locking it in place, you shove your hands into the pockets of the oversized sweatshirt, marveling at how it smells so much like him.

"Isn't Jimin home?" you inquire.

Jungkook scoffs and shakes the snow from his hair. "Not a chance. He spent the New Year with Taehyung. I'd bet money that they're nursing a hangover at the latter's place right now."

"True, and I'll double that bet and say they're not even up yet."

As he joins your side, Jungkook slips his hand around yours and tugs you towards the entrance. "C'mon. It's fucking cold outside and someone stole my sweatshirt."

"You're not playing fair, Gym Bunny."

"That so, Flower Child?"

Once you both push through his front door, gleefully sighing at the warmth the room provides, you're rubbing your numb fingers together. "Can we promise to never do that again?"

"Which? The freezing bike ride or the freezing sleepover?"

"Both!"

Jungkook pokes your cheek as he passes you, a loving smile on his face. "Go change. The snow is melting and you're just about soaked. I'll order the takeout."

Nodding your head, you turn for his bedroom, knowing the way by memory. This is far from the first time you've been over at Jungkook's place, but it's never been like this. It's always been under the guise of being best friends. You never thought you would be sifting through his clothing as someone who's kissed him, held him, or spoken the words "I love you" as a lover would. 

A small smile crosses your face when you think back to high school and college. Those times were especially close to your heart. Knowing what you know now — that Jungkook has been hiding these feelings for basically that entire time — it makes certain moments especially hilarious. All those awkward situations, those teasing comments by Hoseok and Yoongi, those embarrassed expressions from your best friend: suddenly it all makes sense.

You pull a different, but somehow still similar, black sweatshirt from Jungkook's closet, chuckling softly under your breath at his lack of variety in loungewear. To pair with it, you find a loose pair of sweatpants and fuzzy socks. Despite tying the drawstrings to a certain length, rolling up the sleeves and pant legs, you still feel drowned by the overly baggy clothing; even on him, this is a few sizes too large.

Just how he likes it.

When you make yourself as presentable as possible, you return to the living room on quiet feet. Jungkook's voice is soft, barely audible from the hallway, but you remain silent as you recognize the voice on the other line.

"You told her?" Yoongi says in shock. "Actually told her? For fucking real?"

"You're joking!" Hoseok exclaims, his voice a little farther from the phone.

Jungkook laughs. Seated on the sofa with his back turned to you, he nods his head once. "Yeah, actually did it, Hyung."

"About damn time! How long have you been friends? Ten years? More? I can't remember, to be honest— Point is, it's been a long time coming."

"How did it go?"

He pauses, running a hand through his hair, before responding, "She...She likes me, too. You were right."

"See—!"

"—and we might've kissed..."

It's nearly impossible to resist the urge to giggle as Yoongi and Hoseok lose their minds over the phone. Half cheering, half screaming, Jungkook's shoulders shake with laughter as he holds the device away from his ear. 

"We told you, you idiot!" Hoseok exclaims, his accent coming through. "She's liked you for a long-ass time, you both were just too dumb to see it."

"Yeah, yeah, aish. I get it, okay?" Jungkook's words are snide, but his tone is playful. "I owe you a case of soju."

"Oh, you owe us way more than that for leaving you two alone over New Year's." Yoongi scoffs. "I mean, not that we don't love vacationing in Hawaii, but I was starting to worry you would chicken out."

"I did," Jungkook laughs. "And then [Y/n] kept pressing and asking who I was interested in and eventually..."

"Yeah, she's good at being nosey."

"But honestly? I'm glad she did. I would've stayed quiet, just like all the other close calls before." Your best friend sighs, but the sound isn't sad like you'd imagine. It's more like a breath of relief, as if this is a weight he's been shouldering for a while. "And now I feel like things are changing."

Yoongi hums, instantly picking up on the younger's tone shift. "Does it scare you?"

"A bit?" he replies honestly. "I'm not sure..." After trailing off, he straightens up and rubs the back of his neck. "Hey, I gotta go, Hyungs. She's gonna be back any second. Thanks for everything, even if Hobi-hyung was threatening to spill to [Y/n] over the holidays."

"You had it coming, Jungkookie!" Hoseok snickers from somewhere in the background of the other side. "But I swear to god, if you break her heart—"

"—Bye!" Jungkook hangs up with a giggle, clearly amused by Hoseok's ever-present extra-nature. He tosses the phone onto the sofa beside him and leans back onto the cushions.

You slip into the room, clearing your throat to announce your entrance, before wrapping your arms around Jungkook's shoulders. Resting your chin on the crook between his shoulder and neck, you murmur, "You okay?"

Jungkook nods, leaning his head to the side so that it rests against yours. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Just the very end," you assure. After a beat of silence, you give his shoulders a squeeze. "Nothing's going to change. I promise."

"Yeah, maybe I was wrong about that." He pulls away from your grasp and turns around, arms braced against the back of the sofa so he can meet your gaze. "What if I want things to change? For the better."

You'd be lying if you said you weren't taken aback by his suggestion. All this time, the fears inside you both had been that a step forward in your relationship would mean leaving something behind. Or losing something you love. It's one of the hardest things in the world, to face the romantic feelings you have for someone you've called your best friend ever since you were in school. You know Jungkook feels this way, or at least you thought he did.

"There's no way we'll ever stop being best friends," he continues after you say nothing. He tugs on the edges of your, or rather his, sweatshirt, playing absent-mindedly with the loose string on the hem. "We both know that. But maybe now...maybe we owe it to ourselves and these things we feel for the other to see where this leads? Maybe we should give us a try."

Eventually, you find your voice again. "What are you saying?" 

Jungkook closes his eyes and runs his other hand through his wavy hair. The crease between his brows deepens as he struggles to find the correct words. "I was so worried about change because I never considered that it could be good. But maybe it can be. There's nothing that says we have to stop being each other's closest friends if we wanted to give us a try."

"Us...as in dating? Like fancy dinners, movie theaters, non-best friend sleepovers kinda dating."

Heat rises to his cheeks, and suddenly he's stumbling worse than he was before. "I mean—yeah, that's what I was... But only if you wanted to. I was going to ask but—"

The clear embarrassment on his face, paired with the disjointed sentences he never finishes, has you laughing and pulling him to you. Your arms circle around his neck, and you press your lips into his hair. It's been a long time since you've seen him this flustered, and to know it's because of you, how could you not be amused?

"I mean, neither of us are fancy dinner, movie theater kind of people, but I can guarantee I'll take you up if you ask me out to, say, beat your ass at an arcade or out-eat and out-drink you at an all you can eat barbeque and soju night, I would definitely take you up on that. No questions asked. You're my boyfriend now and I will annihilate you without mercy."

Jungkook bursts into laughter at your response, arms wrapping around your middle as his shoulders shake. "In that case, why not do both!"

Pulling back so you can grin down at him, you snicker, "Oh, you're on, Gym Bunny."

Jungkook grins, cups your face in his hands, and pulls you back to him. His lips mold to yours in a sweet and tender kiss. Both of you are smiling into it, and he's nearly about to lift you up and over the back of the sofa and onto the cushion with him before the door buzzer interrupts you both. He pulls away, groaning to himself.

"That's probably the takeout," he says. He presses a second, swifter peck to your mouth before letting you go in favor of the door. "Tonight, we eat takeout and play Call of Duty. Tomorrow, I help you with your order so you're not so stressed?" 

You hop onto the sofa, shaking your head as you retort, "Oh, no, you don't have to do that—!"

"—I want to, no buts," he interrupts with a grin, signature bunny teeth pulling at all your heartstrings. 

How can you say no to that face? 

He backs up towards the door, holding up a finger as if telling you to wait. "One second. I'll be right back with food."

You give two thumbs-ups, returning his cute enthusiasm. "I'll be here."

After he leaves, you shake your head to yourself, wondering how in the world things could shift so much in less than a day. Twenty-four hours ago, you were cooped up at the flower shop, trying to handle a plethora of last-minute tasks, knowing that you wouldn't be home for much of the New Year at all. Your partners on a well-deserved holiday, your parents back home in Ilsan, your brother god only knows where in some random city, you were alone. The flowers were your only companions, and somehow you had come to terms with being okay with it. 

You never could have dreamed up a snowstorm, a power outage, and a supermarket adventure with Jeon Jungkook. While it had started out as an inconvenience, now you look back on last night as a welcome turning point. The events that had transpired had been building up for almost a decade. Despite you making a mental reminder to harass Yoongi and Hoseok for keeping things from you when they returned, you find yourself satisfied with how things have unraveled. You hadn't been alone for the holiday after all — far from it.

As Jungkook returns with the door — spouting in an adorable Busan-accented lisp about the overcharge for the extra sauces he knows you love — you can't help the smile that spreads across your face or the love that blossoms in your heart.

Maybe the Year of the Rabbit wasn't going to be so bad after all.

Taglist — @kooala

[ditttiii]

Saw this floating around and thought it’d be funny to do : Assign your moots with a fanfiction trope and a member?

oh god this is tough coz I m probably gonna miss a bunch of pp (fml I m doing this from the top of my head I m so sorryyyy 😭) >~< but uhh

Jungkook: idiots to lovers (coz duh~) @yeojaa @baepsaetan @saveme-imfine @nottodayjjk @today-we-will-survive @potatomohado

Taehyung: strangers to lovers (i feel like tae has the whole woo game downn) @velvetwicebang @xjoonchildx @kaheryn @tae-n-u @kithtaehyung @taegularities @bisoo @bangtantaegi

Jimin: best friends to lovers (idk jimin just gives hot home boy vibes) @starlightauroras-main @chateautae @sombreboy @angelic-lawyer @feistychim @pars-ley

Hoseok: shit arranged marriage turned bliss (he's a literal sun ☀ imagine how blissful a marriage with him d be *cries*) @ladyartemesia @tae-cup @papillonsgf @whitesparrows97 @acaulla @wheresmymoniat @writersrealmbts

Namjoon: that nerdy hot and buffed up barista at your favourite cafe a trope? ( coz yesssss ✊) @maddpopcorn @insfirebunny @kassrole @kerikaaria @kkulmoon @joonsrack @crazy4myself @lurejoon

Seokjin: older siblings really attractive best friend that you reallyyy (2x) shouldn't date (but oop! 😬🥰) @btsismybiass @jinpanman @ttaechwita @bwibwiko @illneverrecover @jhopegrandma @btsmosphere

Yoongi: stuck in a course class that neither of you like, you bond over half-thought out scribbled notes written against the margins (yes I am writing this and yes I am utterly in love with this idea of yoongi) @honeyminsvga @aroseforyoongi @daechwitas @jungkooksbroski @kkulfm-writing @angel-lover-alice @bangtan-madi

[chemicalpink]

What colour is your writing?

Tagged by the lovely @imyourhobiii 💜💜

The pink flesh of a grapefruit

Your writing is so powerful that it’s able to break your reader’s hearts and then put them right back together. Every phrase has a deeper meaning to it. Exploring the depths of human emotion is one of your strongest and most beloved skills as a writer. Cliffhangers appear often in your writing, much to the chagrin of your readers, and the opening of the following chapter always has them on the edge of their seat. The angst and pain is well worth it for the ending is always lovely.

🥺🥺🥺 this is so cute even tho I don’t feel it’s accurate cause my works are mostly pwp lmao. The cliffhangers thing is right tho, love to make the readers imagine their own endings lol

Tagging (if you’d like to) @hoebii @bangtan-madi @taegularities @yeoldontknow @sunshinekims @ddaechwita @kithtaehyung @ressjeon @hobipaint

[joonni]

I was tagged by the lovely @lunejieun to choose my top 9 albums of 2020✨ thank you for tagging me Amal💓

I decided to include albums I listen to as a whole/feel like they’re a coherent work of art. Therefore I left out mots7, because I feel some songs are out of place, even tho I absolutely love some songs from it. Also these are in no particular order!

D-2 - simply genius, are more words needed...? I love it.

tellusaboutyourself - Another genius, Yerin is just the loveliest singer, still kind of a hidden gem and I love her so much. The small mistakes she makes in her lyrics are adorable too.

Only Child - okay this album... how does Sasha write such relatable songs, we’ll never know. She knows how to put feelings you didn’t know how to express into words.

MOONCHILD - NIKI a talented queen if you ask me. Such a diverse album but I LOVE it. Lose is also the saddest ballad of the century.

To Let A Good Thing Die - Okay this album, I think I’m going to be listening to mr Bruno Major even when I’m 90. Timeless music, good vibes, simply a masterpiece.

Manic - Halsey went all out with this one, so many bops and great topics.

Dreamland - my friend introduced me to Glass Animals earlier on this year and man, I was missing out.

love is not dying - Jeremy was on my radar for a while but this album solidified him for me as a keeper hehe.

Nectar - Joji’s songs but make it an entire album. We’re here for it. From the saddest songs to head bangers, a great album imo

honorable mention: BE - wasn’t sure if this qualifies as a full album but spotify says so, so I’ll go with it. I wasn’t honestly a big fan of the side tracks at first apart from blue&grey but they all grew on me and the lyrics are what does it for me. 2020 and quarantine summed up in a single work, a very coherent album. Music wise tho, it feels like listening to one song from each of their mixtapes (which is basically is) except for the singles.

I’ll tag (only if you want to) @the-bangtan-boys @bangtan-madi @flowerkth @jintae @jiminmochis @dis-aese @balenciaguks @lifegoesonn @taemaknae @sugasugakookies @flytomyjoon @nvmguk @halcyonamgi @flowerseok @hobeah @joonpie @kooala @cultleaderyoongi and anyone who feels like sharing their faves, go ahead💕

[marinettereadsfics]

Gauche by @taesthetes

Waking up to a one night stand doesn’t seem as great as it did last night. [fluff, College AU]

Schrödingers-Cat by @dovechim This is such a cute scenario where Jimin is your assigned angel when life is feeling a little low but he is there to make it a bit better. [fluff, Guardian Angel AU]

Love Me, Love Me by @winetae I read this in a sleepy haze for the first time but ever since, I’ve re-read it bc it is just so good! One of my hybrid faves tbh [smut, Hybrid AU]

Book of The Beasts: The Hunt by @httpjeon I was so caught up with the story from the beginning, no words, just do yourself a favour and read it. [fluff, smut, angst, Mythical Shifter AU]

A Serpent’s Flower Part 1 by @jimlingss and Part 2 by @dovechim You gotta read these if you wanna have a good laugh but still get the sexy writing in it + if you like HP AUs okay. The plot is so rich I loved it. 

20 Things (and Counting) I Hades about You by @readyplayerhobi Cocky Jimin makes an appearance in this one as Hades’ embodiment and lemme tell ya I’m here for it. [crack, angst, Greek Gods AU]

Beneath the Water by @jungshookz ExcuSE YOU, this is easily the best mermaid/merman AU I’ve read. It really takes you places, please read it. [fluff, crack, smut, mermaid AU]

Home by @zerotexas1975 This has 3 parts (and a pending fourth one) but lemme tell ya it is cute af, again, I’m a sucker for hybrid Jiminie [fluff, angst, Hybrid AU]

The Airport Couple: Park Jimin’s Cock [pit] by @jimlingss This was so so fun to read, plus, it is so well written I might cry. The plot is so original is2g. I never knew I needed Jimin as a pilot in my life, but we all do. [fluff, smut, crack, pilot!AU]

In All My Life by @suhdays Hello Vampire Jimin enthusiats, this quick read will most definitely be your thing [fluff, angsty, f2l, Vampire AU]

Everywhere by @mintedmango One of my werewolf AU faves in this site, this so smutty I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT [smut, Werewolf AU]

Sleeping on the Couch by @worldwidemochiguy Hello there cute smutty drabbles. It is so entertaining, just read ahead. [smut, fluff]

Love Like This by @ppersonna If your thing is soft boyfriend Jiminie, look no further, this will make you feel things for sure. [smut, fluff]

User: Mochibuns95 by @gukptune There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for camboy Jimin, now make it a “we kinda know each other but not really” and you got this brilliant plot! Kudos to the author, you are an absolute genius! [smut, Camboy AU]

Lovebug by @httpjeon  Gimme some more of this angsty smutty hybrid Jimin slowly learning to love himself YESSS [angst, fluff, smut, Hybrid AU]

Dress Code by @dovechim  If you haven’t thought about CEO Jimin in a nsfw type of way. Stop lying to yourself. Read this. [smut, CEO AU]

So it Goes by @dovechim 

A 3 part masterpiece. Once again I kinda cried reading it. It must have been hormonal. Or perhaps the amazing way it is written. [fluff, smut, Alien AU]

Power Play by @dovechim 

Okay so I went on a reading spree for Addie but can you even blame me? SHE IS AN AMAZING WRITER PERIODT. FEED ME THAT FILTH WITH AMAZING PLOT. Definitely one of my faves. I can promise you your heart will skip a beat with this one.  [smut, fluff, Pornstar AU]

Watch Me, Watch You by @the95liner ˗ˏˋ ɴᴇᴡˎˊ˗

Listen up, I can’t be the only one that has found a TA attractive as fuck. Now bring Jimin into it? YES PLEASE [smut, college AU]

Shewolf by @dovechim ˗ˏˋ ɴᴇᴡˎˊ˗

You should know by now this is the author of some AMAZINGLY WRITTEN SMUT so just go ahead please [smut, werewolf AU]

Made With Love by @bangtan-madi  ˗ˏˋ ɴᴇᴡˎˊ˗

I finally got to read one of Madi’s amazing works. She is always hyping my works on my blog and Im so glad i finally got to recommend one of hers!! Now listen up, if your thing is soft fluffy idolverse that is so accurate on the guys’ actual persona THIS IS IT. i absolutely loved reading this when i was supposed to be sleeping. [fluff]

[hobicomeholla29]

Content Creator Year in Review

I was tagged by several beautiful people! 💛💙

@merakiiverse @tatastaetae @hongism ILY!! 💕

Now that I have professed my love for my moots lol I shall proceed!

First creation and most recent creation of 2020: 

My first story posted in 2020 was on Jana 2nd and is currently on Hiatus loooool

It’s Light in the Dark and it’s a KSJ fic. and my last fic is Cuff me if you can for Taehyung!!! tbh, that is one of my favorites lol

One of your favourite creations from 2020:

My altme favortie hasn’t even been posted, so I shall say Cuff me if you can is my favorite for now hahah

  One creation you’re really proud of:

A creation I am very proud of is Golden. I literally took that fic down and rewrote the whole thing and in the end I was and am really happy with how it turned out.

A creation that took you forever:

Oceana!!!! Oh my gosh Oceana has taken me a year and I was only able to post part one! Too many deets

A creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

My creation with the most notes is a small interaction between y/n x Jimin lol ‘Tolerance’

A creation you think deserved more notes:

*Sigh* sometimes I feel a little greedy and would want more notes, but to be honest I just want to be grateful to the people who decided to look into my stories.

A new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

Well I haven’t created content for them but now I am part of EXO-Ls, Atiny, MIDZY, ONCE, MooMoo and a STAY lol I have been doing too much lately

A creation you made that breaks your heart:

Chronicle of a heartbreak Foretold... that story is all angst all around and it just get dbfbsbbsdjfsdfbjk by only writing it lol

A ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

I love love love love A Traveler’s Luck!! I wrote in like in the middle of the night lol but it was really fun!

A creation that was inspired by another one:

Hmmmmm... Oh! but sadly it hasn’t been posted bahahah but it’s Password it’s you it was inspired by another story I read about online dating.

A favourite creation created by someone else:

Brace yourself. ‘cause I can’t choose just one...

I’m going to go off based on my likes

Kintsugi by @ditttiii |To find us Again by @papillonsgf | Anything @minniepetals posts | Everything @xherxx posts | Ethereal Orbit by @monotape | And A Hard Place by @minloop | All Of Our Lifetimes by @bangtan-madi

And a tone of others cuz I read more than I write bahahahah

Some of your favourite content creators from this year:

Incluing the ones above, I have to add @sugaa-sugaaa @foxybread @yoongs-jeontae @yoongi-sugaglider @jincherie @crazy4myself @rougebangtan @cinnaminsvga @vinterjeon @chimchimsauce @chelsea-chee @yoongi-sugaglider @moccahobi @bonvoyagenoona @out-of-jams

As well as the amazing creators who tagged me!!

For once I wont be tagging anyone lol!

I think I’ve tagged too many people tonight!

Happy New Years Everyone!

[dreamcatcherjiah]

WIP Folder Tag

— rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. then let people send asks with the title that most intrigues/interests them and you’ll post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it 

— tagged by: @alpacaparkaseok I love doing these things and now that I am back to writing I AM SO EXCITED UWU

MY WIPS: some of these have been in my WIP folder for literal years, but here we go hehehe

MONO: everythingoes 

Take Me To The Moon ~ dream!Hoseok x reader 

The Boy with the Pearl Earring ~ IdolxTaehyung x Stylist!reader [SMAU]

Baby it’s Cold Outside ~ idol!JK x reader [SMAU]

Jamais Vu ~ Namjoon x reader

Just One Day ~ Namjoon x reader 

If We Meet Again. Part 2 ~ soulmate!JK x reader

My Tune ~ Tae x reader [Soulmate Au]

Tae Untitled Drabble (request)

Tae Untitled Drabble (request x2)

Yoongi Untitled drabble (meeting the parents AU)

send me an ask loves!!

my inbox is always open for you guys♥️

tagging @minsugapie and @bangtan-madi

[seok-jinnies]

last line tag!

tagged by: the lovely @taestybae! thank you for tagging me :>>

“It’s gonna be alright.” He tells you sincerely, and it feels so genuine you almost believe it. “We can get a pregnancy test from the convenience store and we’ll know in a bit, okay? Whatever happens, you’ll be okay, I swear it.”

this is from the challenge fic i’m writing for the btsghosties’ event! i’m super fucking late but i’ve had really bad writer’s block the past few weeks,,,,

anyways, here we go! i’m tagging @guktro, @artaefact, @bangtan-madi, and @rookiegukie! (once again, absolutely no pressure!!!)

[bangtan-madi]

noel on ice — kim namjoon

Pairing — Namjoon x Reader, feat. minor mention of Jungkook x OC

Genre — fluff, holiday, minor angst, mental health

Tags — strangers to lovers, figure skater!Namjoon, barista!MC, non-idol au, figure skater au, café au, holiday au

Word Count — 16k

Summary —  After sustaining a crushing defeat at the World Figure Skating Championships, falling from his perfect gold standard to his long-time rival, Kim Namjoon returns to South Korea with an unsure heart and accompanying injury. At the same time, Y/N is as far from home as she has ever been due to a falling out with her family, working as a barista at a café in Seoul while trying to finish her degree. As if by fate, the two meet, and Namjoon makes it his goal to make Y/N see the magic of the holidays -- one Christmas adventure across Seoul at a time. 

Warnings — minor language, brief anxiety attack, mentions of ptsd related symptoms

A/N — This year has been a very difficult one for us all. For my fic in this Christmas collab, I wanted to acknowledge all of that and give a little mental health break for everyone. All of our experiences have been different, but one thing we all have in common is that 2020 was unexpected, painful, and heavy. Please, no matter what holiday you celebrate, let yourself have as much rest and healing as you need. If this little, probably-needs-more-editing-than-I-had-time-for fic can help you get there — even just for the twenty minutes it takes to read — then my job is done ❤️ I love you all, and I know I speak for the others when I say I hope 2021 treats us all so much kinder, and I hope we learn to love ourselves in spite of our worlds around us.

Playlist — Link here.

Christmas Collaboration — this fic is a part of the Christmas Collab by @kooala (link coming soon!)

"Hey—Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Raising your head slightly, your eyes widening as you realize you've zoned out again, focusing on the snowfall outside instead of the next customer in line. The woman waving her hand in front of you is as foreign to South Korea as you are, but her expression is entirely that of an angry American. Her scowl has etched deep lines into her skin, where smile lines should be.

Unfortunately, her face is all too familiar. Usually it pays to be one of the only native English-speakers at your café; however, when Americans come in, you're the one pushes to take their orders and serve them.

Even the most difficult ones.

"S—Sorry, Ma'am," you mutter. Shaking your head, you force a customer-service smile. "I was just admiring the snowfall. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Oh, yeah," she retorts sarcastically. "So beautiful that it's making travel home nearly impossible. Can you please just make my drink so I can leave?"

"I—I didn't hear it, Ma'am. Can you repeat it please?"

While the woman rolls her eyes, she repeats her order swiftly, muttering something along the lines of, "Baristas these days, I swear to god," under her breath. "Make sure to get it right this time. Every time I come in and order a blended cappuccino, you guys end up giving me a latte, which is not what I ordered."

"And every time, we have to explain that all a latte is, is a blended cappuccin—"

"—I don't want to hear it!"

With a sigh, you ring up the total for the "blended cappuccino, not latte" and let the woman pay. From the sidelines, your co-worker Lisa stands with a glare and a tin of heated milk ready to go for your order.

"Ms. Blended cappuccino again?" she asks as you turn towards her with a note written in perfect Hangul.

You nod, running  a hand over your hair in frustration. "I hate being the only native bi-lingual person here. Means I get to deal with her every damn time."

Sensing your downtrodden spirit, Lisa pushes you out of the way, giving you a gentle shove towards the back room. "I got this one. Go take a breather in the back, okay?"

"But—"

"—Ah! No buts. I know enough English to get by."

From the front desk, the woman pipes up again, demanding her drink be made faster. Lisa marches past your, arms herself with the imaginary drink, and says in perfect English, "You're in Seoul now. Speak Korean."

Knowing Lisa can handle the absolute hell-spawn that is an angry American Karen, you turn your back to the drama and shuffle to the break room behind the "employees only" door. An exasperated breath escapes as you revel in the silence, pushing away the muffled café sounds on the other side of the door. Being the only one in the break room, you spot your favorite white chocolate mocha on the side table, with a smiley face sticky note indicating it's from Lisa beside it.

You smile gently at the sweet gesture, and shove the sticky note into your pocket as a reminder to yourself to thank her later.

Taking the mug between your overworked hands, you settle down on the window seat and watch the December sky slowly shift from violet to navy. The mocha is just slightly sweet with a hint of peppermint, just like you like it. It's almost enough to illicit the Christmas spirit lying dormant inside you.

There's something incredibly painful about this particular holiday season, you think to yourself as the cars pass swiftly on the street outside. The glittering lights, the beautiful carols, the crystalline snow — none of it feels the same as last year.  The holidays are supposed to be a time of comfort and renewal, but this year — after moving halfway around the world by yourself — your heart is starting to wonder if that part of you has died.

Maybe it's the loneliness you're feeling, or maybe it's the fact that you're so far away from home. Or maybe it's the fresh-in-your-mind arguments and falling out with your family over the summer. That bitter taste lingers still in the back of your throat, not unlike a dark espresso.  A Christmas season without your parents and siblings; you never thought living your own life and following your happiness could hurt so much. For better or worse, that nostalgic feeling family and friends bring is long gone. And now you're nostalgic for nostalgia itself; what kind of messed up feeling is that?

You've had twenty-four wondrous, magical holiday seasons. Is it part of growing up that your allotment of joyful Christmas days is limited?

Is twenty-five the year that the magic just...stops?

When the night sky becomes unchanging, the door to the café kitchen opens. Lisa peeks her head inside, side-bangs falling in her face. "How's the mocha? Did I get it right?"

You take the last sip with a grateful smile, then place the mug onto the coffee table. "You nailed it. Thank you, I needed that."

Pride swells in Lisa's chest, and her shoulders straighten as she enters the room. "Well, good news. Karen's gone," she announces, "and your favorite customer is here!"

"Who?"

Lisa places her hand horizontally at her hip-level. "About this tall? Loves peppermint hot choco?

Bolting from your seat, all your concerns are momentarily gone. Your co-worker doesn't have to utter another word to get you to exit the back room and reenter the kitchen.

Across the counter, a mop of black hair is barely visible. Dark brown eyes peer over the granite surface; they twinkle and shine at the sight of you. Tiny hands splay on the surface in an attempt to make the small child taller. He's around seven to eight years, you estimate. Nine or ten at the very most. Definitely not out of primary school. And he's your very favorite customer, because unlike most, this child comes in with a toothy grin almost every single day with enough money for a peppermint hot chocolate. He's never late, and he's never unhappy. If the Sun were to bless the world with a ray of sunshine in human form, this kid would be it.

"Ahjumma!" the little boy shouts, a grin plastered on his face.

Instead of having him crane his neck, you walk around the counter, bend down on one knee, and ignore the other customers behind him. Pulling one of the tiny baked goods from your apron pocket, you offer the sweet to the child with a wink.

"You're here awfully late, Yeongu. You're usually here right after school lets out. It's already after dark."

Yeongu digs through his pocket and pulls out several crumpled won, enough for his beverage of choice. "Tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break, so dad picked me up and took me skating. I'm with mom and her boyfriend for the rest of the month 'cause Dad's going to Busan with his new wife. I don't like her that much. She frowns too much. And she smells like soju and taffy."

You exchange the won for the baked treat, laughing softly as you invite the boy onto the corner table nearest the hot chocolate machines. "You don't like taffy, do you?"

He makes a face and takes a big bite of the delicacy. "My teacher tells us that if we eat taffy, it will help us remember things. I ate too much of it last year, and now I hate it. Dad's new wife must always be forgetting things, because she always smells like it!"

After finishing the simple drink, you slide the mug across the table and plop down in the seat across from the small boy. "So does this mean I won't get to see you until after Christmas?"

Yeongu shakes his head. "I'll be by tomorrow after. Mom wanted to visit my cousin before we left. He's back in town for Christmas, and we haven't seen him in a long time."

"Oh? What does he do?"

"Sports."

At that, the boy changes the conversation. "What are you doing for Christmas, Ahjumma?"

"Yeah, Ahjumma," Lisa pipes up after serving the final to-go customer for the night. She flips the sign on the front door and turns back to the two of you, hand on her hip. "What are you doing for your first Christmas in Korea?"

Shrugging slightly, you turn your attention back to the small child across from you. "I'll probably spend the day with Mochi — my cat — probably studying so I'll be ahead in the new year for my next classes." Lisa gives an empathetic look at the mention of your kitten, which causes you to roll your eyes playfully. "Don't give me that look! I'll be fine. Probably best for me to have a relaxed, non-hectic couple of days. This year has been a rough one."

"That sounds sad," Yeongu states bluntly, earning a snicker from Lisa.

"Kid's right. Absolutely dreadful, [Y/n]. What a lame Christmas."

"What about you, then? Do you have any plans for Christmas?"

At the question, Lisa's smirk drops and she perks up. "Well, I'm sure you know, but Christmas in Korea is pretty different from America," Lisa reminds you, and you nod your acknowledgement. "It's more of a couple holiday, so my boyfriend Jungkook and I are planning to take the week off and do a ton of holiday activities together. Mostly outdoors stuff. Y'know, snowboarding, skiing, snowball fights — the usual."

"Sounds like a blast," you laugh.

"Oh, it will be." She gives a wink, then nods to Yeongu. "Are we about done here? I need to head out if you're okay with locking up for the night."

You give a wave of approval as the child nears the end of his glass. "I got this. Say hello to Jungkookie for me."

Lisa flashes a set of extravagant finger hearts before disappearing into the back, where she gathers her personal items and exits out the rear entrance. In her absence, Yeongu tugs on your sleeve and holds up an empty mug.

"Thank you for the hot choco, Ahjumma," he grins, showing the dark stain on his upper lip.

Taking the mug, you use the edge of your apron to clean the mess from his face. "If you come by tomorrow before you leave with your Eomma, I'll make you another with extra peppermint, okay?"

The boy's smile grows, and he hops up from the table with a swift bow. "I'll be here!" He heads for the door with a skip in his step.

"Will you get home all right?" you call after him.

Yeongu turns and grins. "I will, don't worry, Ahjumma!"

And then he's gone, out the door in a rush of energy and giggles towards his home nearby. You merely shake your head; there's no point in going after him now.

Soon after, you're following in his step. It doesn't take you long to clean up. By the time you lock up and exit out the back, snow has begun to fall. You brave the cold, tugging your coat tighter around you, burying your face into your scarf. The journey to the subway is short, and your feet take you quickly. Even still, you stare upward at the snowy clouds in hope that they might spark a semblance of Christmas joy in your heart.

Tonight, like every other night, nothing changes.

You heave a sigh, and the breath billows out as a visible fog as you enter the station. Going through the motions to get to your apartment is easy. A swipe of a card, a short ride to the edge of the neighborhood, and a trek up the set of stairs. Once through the door, you're greeted by a mewing shadow of a cat.

"Hi, my baby girl," you greet with a soft smile, bending down to scratch the tiny fur ball behind the ears. The black cat rubs her chin against your palm and follows you when you waltz to the kitchen. "You hungry?"

As if responding, "Yes!" Mochi speeds up and meows a bit louder than last time.

Her antics bring a smile to your face as you turn on the television for background noise. You find the nearest Korean news station, finding the program in the middle of a report on Korea's favorite rap duo and their upcoming tour: Suga and J-Hope. Your intention with the selection is two-fold — first, to continue to enhance your skills of the Korean language, and two, to continue learning about the culture and world of your new home. While you had extensive knowledge of both before moving to Seoul — despite the process being rather quick due to the fallout with your family — nothing compares to being immersed in the country itself.

As the musical entertainment section ends, you begin pulling ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard. "What do you think sounds good, Mochi? How about teokbokki?" The black cat perches her paws on your right leg, purring pleasantly. "I agree, sounds great after a long day."

You toss a bag of rice cakes onto the counter as the news changes to sports. Even as you prepare the sauce for the meal, you actively listen to the voices in the background.

"Unfortunately, RM Nam's ice skating season has been cut short due to an unforeseen injury he sustained during practice this summer. At the time, the damage to his shoulder seemed unnoticed by the athlete and his coach. However, as we saw earlier this October at the Grant Prix Series: Skate America, Mr. Nam's mishap on the ice turned out to be far more damaging than originally thought. Thus, the position representing South Korea at the next in the series, Skate Canada, was shifted to his rival, Kim Seokjin, and RM Nam returned home to Seoul to recover."

You can't but help a glance up at the screen. The skater in question has his back turned to the cameras as he heads into the airport. Behind his sunglasses, mask, and beanie, he offers a polite smile and wave to the reporters. Moments later, his coach guides him into the building, out of sight.

"That doesn't sound fun," you mutter to yourself as the report moves onto politics.

After you finish cooking, you plate yourself a portion and move into the living room. Besides the tiny tan sofa and the television propped up on a box, most of the room is bare. There are a handful of boxes strewn across the apartment of the few things you either had shipped from the States or that you bought in your six months since then, but for the most part, you've been putting off all of it. Most of your time is spent at work or at school; you haven't had the time, energy, or motivation to do any of it. Even at Christmas, despite Lisa gifting you with your very own tiny tree and twinkle lights to spread across the home, you've yet to unpack any of it. The tree remains in the slender box beside the TV, and you doubt it will go up this year at all.

Heaving a sigh at the thought, you turn the channel to VIKI put on your favorite drama. This particular one is a reincarnation plot with two male leads played by Korea's golden boys: Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung. Paired with the bowl of teokkboki in your lap and the kitten curled to your side, it's enough to drag you thoughts out of homesickness and back to the present.

This might just have to be the Christmas you forget and hope that the next year is a kinder one.

A lot changed in your life this year. In some ways, the changes were good. In others, not so much. Most of the turbulent times were in the heat of the summer, but things began slowing down once you moved to South Korea in September. You were now away from toxic family members, away from a life you never wanted, and looking ahead to an uncertain but certainly hopeful future.

In late October, the seasons began changing for the better — and not just in the physical sense of the falling leaves and cooler breeze. Lisa was right about your favorite customer; it truly was little Yeongu. However, there was another that you looked forward to seeing, just as much as the elementary school boy.

This person was older, around your age, with a deeply dimpled smile that made your stomach flutter. Eyes as slender as his body proportions, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't an attractive man. Hair the color of the snowflakes he walked through, eyes the color of the beverage he'd always order, skin the color of warmth in a cozy fireplace. Even his voice was warm and deep; at every conversation, while you are completely fluent in Korean, you find yourself just wanting to listen to the soft timbre.

Over time, this man — whose name you'd quickly learn was Kim Namjoon — became a regular at your little coffee shop. He'd come in at the oddest hours, either super early or super late. Hours you often worked alone, when there were fewer customers. Every time, he'd strike up a conversation as you took his order and crafted his beverage of choice (a heavy coffee brewed dark and bitter, with just a splash of cream and almond whip.) He was sweet, and eventually you opened up. He'd hang around the counter long after the transaction was completed, sometimes until another customer stole your attention away. It didn't take long for you to realize that he was far more than merely a pretty face.

In those weeks leading up to December, you found yourself smiling a bit more. Joking a bit more. Shoulders lightening a bit more. You looked forward to the increasingly insistent days where he'd waltz in — sometimes covered in raindrops, sometimes in crisp leaves, sometimes in snowflakes — always a crystal blue umbrella under his arm and a charcoal grey scarf around his neck.

It's the same person standing at the entrance now, the man currently shaking the rain from his umbrella and platinum locks. Lisa gives you a smirk as she nods her head towards the register and steps away from the counter, as if silently saying, "You're up, m'lady. Holler if you need me; I'll be doing an order in the back."

You brush your hair back into proper place, display a genuine smile, and take your stance behind the register. When Namjoon's eyes meet yours, his smile deepens and creates dimples on either side of his mouth.

After the customer in front of him pays and leaves with his order in hand, you greet him with a simple, "You haven't been in, in over a week. Finally trying to break your caffeine addiction?"

Namjoon gives a deep laugh and shakes his head. "Not in the slightest. I like being able to function as an adult in society, thank you very much." He pulls out several won from his wallet. "I'll have..."

"The usual?"

He cocks an eyebrow. "You remember?"

"Of course," you grin, and type his drink of choice into the register. Taking his money, you add, "How could I forget your order after the hilarious reaction when I suggested a mint mocha?"

The boy thinks back to the first day he walked into the café, and recalls that conversation with a groan. "Oh god, was I that bad?"

Handing him his change, you tap your chin and reply, "Well, maybe a bit. I'd never seen someone so horrified at the idea of mint chocolate."

Namjoon rubs the back of his neck with an awkward smile. "Sorry about that. Pretty terrible at hiding my disdain for that flavor combo."

"No worries! Made me laugh."

Seeing that there are no other customers behind him, you turn to the brewing station and usher Namjoon to take a seat on the bar stool across the counter. It's a position you've taken several times before. When the customers are low, as they are at this hour of evening, the platinum-haired man tends to linger and converse far after his drink is finished.

"What brings you in today? Just wanted a pick-me-up or?"

Namjoon heaves a sigh. He watches you closely but casually, silently admiring the skillful way you begin to brew the dark beverage. "I've had a lot on my mind lately, and coming here always helps me de-stress."

"Coffee helps you relax?" You can't help but chuckle at the sentiment.

"And the company."

Heat rushes to your face, and when you glance up to meet his gaze, the warmth only increases. "You're smooth, Kim Namjoon. Very smooth."

Brown eyes widen, and he bows his head so that his bangs cover his eyes. "That's not what I meant at all!"

"Calm down, you're fine. Wanna talk about what's on your mind, though?"

In all your conversations, the two of you have only ever talked on the shallow surface of various topics. You don't know much about Namjoon, and he doesn't know much about you — despite having shared extremely vague information about your year, your jobs, and your education. You feel very open with him, but most of the time, those conversations can't be had in a fifteen minute discussion at a café.

"It's a long, complicated story. I'm not sure you'd wanna hear it." He raises his hands defensively as he realizes how his words might be construed. "Not that you wouldn't understand! I just wouldn't want to be a downer."

You select the cold brew setting on the machine and let the device begin to whir to life. "Well, I've got at least the time it takes to make your drink. I'm all ears."

Namjoon shakes his head as he settles his elbows on the counter. "You're persistent."

"Honey, I've been called far worse."

Seeing your eagerness, your companion heaves a sigh and shifts his gaze from you to the window at his right. As be begins to speak, his demeanor falls a bit. He's not as happy-go-lucky; there's an err of anxiety about him that you can't quite nail down. "I've been thinking about a change in career recently. Things haven't been unfolding this year like I wanted...and I'm starting to think I'm not meant to do what I'm doing now. Maybe I need to retire — from this industry, I mean, and move on to another."

Even with that small confession, you can't help but mirror his emotions. "I hear you. I've felt similar feelings this year."

His gaze shifts back to yours, and he tilts his head in surprise. "Really? How so?"

"I told you I moved to Seoul in September, right?" Namjoon nods. "That's because I wanted a...a fresh start. I enrolled in Yonsei University, got a job here, and just...moved."

"That's pretty brave, and that's really awesome you're at Yonsei. They're a fantastic school."

"Thanks," you grin whilst popping the canister of cold brew out from under the brewing machine. "I needed to get away from certain people in my life that weren't letting me move forward, so moving was the best choice." You pour the dark beverage into a small mixer and pull out the vanilla creamer. "Sure you don't want mint this time? Last chance."

Namjoon cocks an eyebrow as a silent challenge; the expression makes you giggle to yourself as you pour the very non-mint add-ins. "Hilarious."

"Hey! Just offering." After giving the mixture a whisk, your smile falters.

Nothing gets by the observant person across the counter. "I feel like your story has a 'but' after what you ended with."

"You're good," you reply, gesturing to him with the handheld whisk. "I'm not talking too much, am I?"

Namjoon shakes his head adamantly and flourishes with his hand for you to continue. "I mean, we're practically friends now. Please, go on."

Reassured by both his calming nature and genuine interest, you continue talking. "But after getting here...let's just say it's hard to make friends and get out there in a country where you look so different, where your language isn't native, and where you know literally no one. So...ah, this year's been a pretty lonely one, and I know I still made the right choice, but now that the holidays are here..." You trail off and offer a small smile. "All that to say, I know what it's like to second-guess yourself and not have things go the way you thought."

"Seems we have a lot in common," he chuckles, leaning his chin on his hand.

The comment causes the mood to lighten, and you let a laugh slip out. "Yeah, seems so."

Before the conversation can continue, the front door opens. Yeongu enters, a couple of other customers behind him. As if on cue, Lisa enters from the back room and greets the adults with a smile and a swift, "Hi, welcome! What can I get you this evening?"

As the child approaches the adjacent counter where you stand, his grin widens. You perch your elbows on the counter and lean over. "How's my favorite customer?"

"I'm finally free from school, Ahjumma!" Yeongu cheers loudly.

"Congrats! I'm sure you're relieved." He nods affirmatively. "t's freezing outside. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, I promise. But can I get a mint hot choco?" He holds up a crumpled bill with a toothy grin.

"Of course, you can. Extra mint, just like I promised." You nod towards the seat closest to the window. "Sit in your usual spot, okay? After I get this nice man his coffee, I'll get your hot chocolate."

As Namjoon turns to look at the child, Yeongu's eyes widen in surprise. "Namjoon-hyung! I didn't know you were here."

Much to your shock, Namjoon reciprocates the affection and hops down from his chair to bend down to Yeongu's level. "Yeon-ie!" He teases the boy by ruffling up his hair, which Yeongu scowls at him for.

"Um... You two know each other?"

"Yep!" Yeongu grins. "He's my cousin, the one I told you about yesterday."

"Oooh, that makes sense. Didn't realize my two favorite customers were related."

Yeongu laughs at the comment and hops into the chair beside Namjoon. "But I'm your favorite customer, right?"

"Of course," you tease, flashing him a playful wink.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Ahjumma, can I please have mine in a to-go cup? Mom told me to come right home so we can finish packing for our trip."

"Of course, give me just a second to get you a lid." You turn to your first customer with an apologetic smile. "Namjoon, I'm almost done with yours. Just give me a moment."

"Actually, do you mind putting mine in a to-go cup as well?" He jerks his thumb towards Yeongu. "I should probably walk him home. He lives just around the corner from me. I'd feel better if I did."

"Oh, sure, I can do that."

"Would you walk with us, Ahjumma? Pleeeease?"

Your gaze moves to Namjoon. "Do you mind?"

The elder cousin hops up from his chair, shaking his head adamantly. "Not at all! Can you?"

"Sure, I'm about at the end of my shift anyway! Let me grab my coat. I'll come with." You turn quickly to Lisa, murmuring, "Can you watch—?"

She cuts you off with a wave of her hand. "—Go! I can close up for the night. But if you don't come back with a date planned, the invitation to spend New Years with Jungkookie and me is rescinded."

With a playful eye-roll, you peck her on the cheek and run to the back for your coat. Once you return, you find Namjoon scuffling Yeongu's dark locks with a dimpled smile. Looking back up as you return, the expression doesn't falter.

"Ready?"

You nod and follow behind through the exit, trying to ignore the wink and dual thumbs-ups Lisa flashes you as you pass.

Once on the street, Yeongu walks ahead of you and Namjoon. The first few minutes are silent between you two. From ahead, you can hear the small child talking to himself, or perhaps his hot chocolate, and then occasionally to the adults.

As you cross the busy street, Namjoon clears his throat. "So...you have any plans for Christmas?"

You scoff under your breath and shake your head. "Why does this topic keep coming up?"

"Hope I didn't offend," he laughs. "Yeongu said something about a café girl not having plans last night. I figured it was you."

"Trust me, you're good. But yeaaah. Kinda new to Korea. I spent the fall settling in and trying to start over. Between work and school, didn't expect much. Holidays sneaked up on me, I guess."

There's a pause as the trio rounds the corner. Yeongu finishes his hot cocoa along the way and hands the empty cup to Namjoon. The elder doesn't even hesitate to take it, and the boy rushes ahead to what you assume is his home. Over his shoulder, he shouts, "Thank you for the choco, Ahjumma!"

You grin widely and wave. "You're welcome!"

Yeongu turns to Namjoon, sticks out his tongue in a playful manner, then disappears into his house.

"Aaand that's the thanks I get." Namjoon rolls his eyes and turns his body towards you, giving you his full attention as the sun sets behind Seoul Tower. "I have a crazy idea."

"Oh, really?" You cross your arms over your chest and cock an eyebrow. "Those are my favorite kind of ideas."

"Cheesy," he grins. "Well...I don't have any plans either. Maybe we spend it together?"

"No plans, huh? Do I look that pitiful?"

"No! No, it's not that at all, god." Namjoon's smirk falls from his face as a horrified expression drowns out any humor. "Sorry if that's how it came off. I just—You seem really nice, and it's been a while since either of us just enjoyed someone else's company. No strings. No pressure."

Tugging your lower lip between your teeth, you shuffle in your step. "I don't know, Namjoon..."

"Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I hate to see anyone's shoulders so heavy in December. How about this — give me three days to prove the magic isn't lost."

"Three days? That's it?"

"That's it."

"Okay then, Mr. Kim." You offer a hand in his direction. "Three days."

Namjoon's eyes lock with yours, as does his hand. "It's a deal."

The following weekend you wake to a phone call coming in from your recently-added number. Rolling out from under the covers to grab the device from the nightstand, you answer with voice still groggy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Are you still sleeping?" the caller laughs in a deep timbre.

"Shuddup." Peaking an eye open, the time on the screen reads just after eleven a.m. "It's not that late."

"Really?"

"Did you call me just to make fun of my lack of healthy sleep schedule, or did you have a point?"

"Ouch!” Namjoon exclaims playfully. “I actually did call, and it's actually perfect because I don't need you ready to go until around three this afternoon. So you can totally just go back to sleep."

You curl back under your heated blanket and revel in the warmth it provides. Beside you, Mochi curls closer, nearly sitting on your head. "Mmm sounds perfect. Wait—what?"

"You heard me." There's a hint of teasing in Namjoon's words. "It's Day 1. Be ready for an outdoor adventure by three. I'll pick you up then, okay sleepyhead?"

The butterflies rumble in your stomach at the nickname, and you clear your throat before replying. "Yep, got it. Three p.m. Outdoor adventure. Can't you tell me what it is or where we're going?"

"And ruin the surprise? No way. Just trust me, Jagi."

A squeak slips out, and you throw your hand over your mouth to hide it. "Okay, see you there—I mean then!"

You can almost hear Namjoon shaking his head as he says his goodbyes and ends the call. Despite still being sleepy and warm and cozy in your nest, you lie wide awake in bed for the next half-hour, replaying his voice over and over in your head like a well-loved record.

The day flies by, and eventually it's approaching three. You've dressed to impress while still trying to keep it casual. Despite this being a date, it's still casual. You like Namjoon a lot, and you hope he likes you as well. However, outside of conversations at the café, you haven't spent a lot of time together yet. This is as good a second-first impression as any, and you intend to make the most of it.

Grabbing your winter coat and scarf, you scurry down the stairs and spot Namjoon lingering by the entrance with two cups in his hands. He's dressed in jeans and a sweater with a dark grey jacket over top, his usual scarf looped twice around his neck. A beanie covers his head, but bits of his platinum hair still stick out in places. Slung across his shoulder is a brown leather backpack. He always looks nice, that much you know, but the fact that today he looks nice for you makes you sickly happy.

He flashes a smile as you bound out the door. "You look rested," he teases, then offers you one of the cups.

Taking it with a nose scrunch, you look down at the order on the side, seeing that it's your usual order. "How did you know!"

He shrugs. "I have my ways."

"Was it Lisa?"

"Maybe..." He straightens up and nods his chin towards the nearby station. "Follow me for our first adventure!"

After boarding the train to Itaewon, you can't help but wonder where he might be taking you. Your mind goes through all of the things to do in Itaewon, but the list is lengthy. From his excited and proud expression, you know Namjoon has been looking forward to this all day, just as you have.

After exiting fifteen minutes down the line, Namjoon reaches for your free hand. "May I...?"

Your fingers close the distance, glove-covered palm clasping his. "Lead the way."

Namjoon grins, then tugs on your hand as you exit the station. Once outside in the frigid air, you see your breath come out in puffs of fog. You tighten your scarf around your neck and allow your companion to usher you down the sidewalk, towards a clearing in the colorful buildings of Itaewon-do.

Another block or so, and you see the direction in which he's heading. A large sign along the way reads, "Grant Hyatt Seoul Ice Rink" in bold Hangul. Your eyes widen as the realization hits you, and the excitement inside you grows. "How did you know I've wanted to go ice skating!"

Namjoon shuffles up to the ticket counter, replying over his shoulder, "Um...lucky guess?"

As he purchases your tickets, you take a moment to absorb your surroundings.  The trees are glowing from the lights covering every branch and trunk. They surround the rink and give a glow from within that is so much softer and more intimate than the harsh lighting of the city. The Hyatt Hotel stands as a black silhouette against the horizon. In the opposite direction, you can see N. Seoul Tower already lit up as the afternoon lighting shifts to evening. Projectors shine shapes of glittering snowflakes across the ice, giving another layer of ambient lighting to the rink.

"I haven't been since I was a kid," you add, staring at the exterior of the open-air rink with awe. Namjoon hands you the ticket, which you use for entrance and skates before shoving it into your jacket pocket. "Have you ever been before?"

"Yeah, a...few times. Hey, what size shoe are you?" When you tell him, Namjoon grabs a pair of skates from the shelf beside the ticket booth and gestures for you to sit on the bench across from it. "It can be tricky to lace your skates properly," he commentates as he kneels down in front of you and begins to untie your boots. "It's really something you have to adjust yourself, so let me know when I'm close?"

Not having any words to respond at his sudden closeness, you nod the affirmative and watch in silence as he puts one boot to the side, slips the skate on with ease, and begins to adjust the laces like a professional. After repeating the movements with your other skate, he taps your knee and looks up at you.

"Too loose? You want them to be as tight as you can handle to keep your ankles steady."

Moving your feet, you shake your head from side to side. "A bit more. I'd hate to have Day 1 turn into a trip to the E.R."

"Definitely, nothing says ‘Christmas magic’ like an emergency room visit," he laughs, adjusting your laces as you requested. "How's that?"

"Much better, thank you."

After lacing up your skates as tight as you can handle, Namjoon stands and offers you an arm. He helps you waddle over to the entrance, gently sliding you onto the ice despite your shaky knees and flailing arms. You soon realize that it might be best to hold tight to the barrier and stick only to the periphery.

He doesn't follow you on at first. When you turn and look back for him, he waves you on. "You go ahead. I need to grab my skates first."

"Mmm fine, but if I break my neck trying to catch your ass, you're paying for ramen after. Got it?"

Namjoon gives you two thumbs ups as he lets you go onto the ice. "Loud and clear."

Eventually, you begin tugging yourself along, trying but failing to keep up with the traffic of more experienced skaters. Even compared to those half your age, or even less, you're the child on this rink.

About half-way around the rink, you spot Namjoon making his way towards the entrance. Waving your hand, your smile widens when he sees you. He waves back, nearly bumps into the person ahead of him at the gate, and you murmur to yourself, "This should be good."

Namjoon hits the ice. He's not like the barreling disaster you are, but like a graceful swan. It catches you off-guard; if anything, you expected him to fall flat on his face or tumble over a child on his way over to you on the opposite side. He needs no assistance from the railing, nor does he struggle to cross the center and come to a full stop in front of you. His skates make a graceful scraping sound, and his stance is one of a professional. Even his skates are different than yours; they're custom, and you realize that must've been what he was carrying in his backpack.

You assume the awestruck look on your face is the reason for his smirk and laughter. He does a spin for dramatic affect as he closes the distance between you. "Surprised?"

"For starters! How the hell are you so graceful? You're literally twirling around on one foot on a frictionless surface, and I can barely make a left turn!"

The platinum blond gives you a look like you're still missing the point, then extends his hand. "C'mon, I can help you more than the railing can."

"Promise not to sue me if I break your face by crashing into you?"

"Promise, now grab my hand and skate!"

Your hands in his, you take the leap of faith and separate from the barrier around the oblong rink. Namjoon slowly skates backwards, carrying you the whole way. Your eyes remain glued to your trembling feet, careful not to have the blades deviate too far out to one side or the other.

"Look at you!" he cheers, ever the positive one. "A whole two minutes on your feet."

"Shut up."

You won't deny that your progress surprises even you. Despite having to hold both his hands for the first ten minutes, then eventually one as you skate side-by-side for the following half-hour, you're more adept at skating than you thought you would be.

"You think you can try on your own for a lap?" he inquires.

Giving a hesitant nod, you let go of Namjoon's hand, saying, "Don't leave my side, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Taking a deep breath in, you push one skate out in front of the other and move yourself forward. The other follows after, and you get about twenty feet before you stumble and nearly fall face-first. Luckily, Namjoon keeps his promise and wraps his arms around your waist before you crash.

"Good try!" he exclaims, keeping his arms around your middle even after you regain your balance. "You got pretty far, actually."

You give an awkward chuckle and lay your nervous hands over his at your hip. "Maybe I'm not quite ready for a free-skate yet."

"No worries." He lets his arms drop and retakes your hand to steady you. The dimples appear next to his smile as he adjusts your beanie on your head, which had nearly fallen off in your almost-fall. "But I gotta say, you didn't have to fall for me on Day 1."

"So smooth!" You roll your eyes and give his shoulder a playful shove, only to gasp and reach back for him when he naturally skates backwards at the push. "Nevermind, I take it back. Please don't leave me in the middle of the rink."

Namjoon lets out a loud laugh, nearly doubling over as you cling to him. "You're so cute."

As you skate together, you keep getting the feeling that Namjoon has spent far more time on the ice than you previously assumed. After you get the hang of it yourself and are able to wobble along beside him without a constant hand to hold, he smiles a proud, wide smile.

"See? I knew you could do it!"

You raise your eyebrows at him. "Still nowhere near close to you."

"That's what a lot of people say," he brushes it off.

"Way to brag there, Joon," you snort, then immediately freeze in place so suddenly that you nearly fall over again. "Wait—you don't mind if I call you that, do you?"

Namjoon's smile shows his dimples, and they deepen with his reply. "Not a bit." The song changes, playing the symphonic piece "Noel on Ice." Namjoon's face lights up, and he turns back to you with a wink. "Watch me?"

Nodding affirmatively, you release his hand and let him skate towards the center of the rink. His gaze remains on you as he spins to a stop in the middle, then turns his gaze downwards. Arms still at his sides, and his shoulders straighten. You await with bated breath for the next note.

The melody lifts, and Namjoon's arms follow suit. Piano notes drip across the chilled air, and the violin prompts an extension of his hands upwards. Then he moves, gracefully flowing from one movement to the next, as if this has been an ice dance built into his very being. The harp and cello urge him to move faster, spinning like a dancer across their stage.

Namjoon spins into the air, fully coming off the ice. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth out of fear, but he lands it with ease, shifting into his next series of steps like a professional. Flawless and practiced, he's caught the attention of everyone at the rink. As you look around, you see everyone else focused intently on the skater. Some even have their phones out to record. Not just one or two people, either; you see at least a half dozen with their cameras trained on Namjoon.

That in particular has you perplexed. Brows pulling together, you shift your eyes back to Namjoon. The piece is nearing its close, and he's moved back to the center of the ice. Twirling in place, he's moving like a spinning top. Always in a single place, so fast you can barely see, gracefully shaving ice under him so that snowflakes fall around him. He lowers, nearly sitting as he continues to twirl on one foot. The music grows to its crescendo. Slowly, he rises up and extends his hands towards the sky.

And then it hits you.

There's a reason why his face, his voice, and his presence is so familiar to you. You couldn't put your finger on it until just now, but the way he moves on the ice like he's the only one in the room — like it's a second home — brings you back to one of the first days you had in Seoul. That first day, at the Incheon Airport, the man you saw being bombarded with press and fans. Then again on the screens in the lobby of the immigration center. And again a few nights ago on the news.

RM Nam. South Korea's pride and joy, their greatest skater, the man bound for the Winter Olympics until a training injury earlier in the year put him out for the season. You're not into sports, but even you knew him by name and the tragedy that had occurred.

That legendary skater was the one in front of you now. He hadn't mentioned it, and you didn't suspect a thing until today. While definitely a shock, you can't help but be in awe of him even more. He isn't just good on the ice — he's like nothing you've ever seen.

As the music comes to a close, Namjoon skates to a halt. His spin finishes, and he ends with a ending pose bow. Clearly out of breath and shoulders heaving, his gaze shifts to you once again. Your smile widens, and you throw your hands up as you cheer. The others around you begin to clap, but you're by far the most enthusiastic one there.

Suddenly, Namjoon's persona returns to that of a shy and humble one. He bows again in the directions of the viewers, then scurries out from the center and back to you. Eventually, those around you begin to skate once more, ignoring the fact that one of the biggest sports icons in all of Korea is among them.

Namjoon runs a hand over his bleached hair, his smile sweet and his eyes a little nervous as he approaches. You shake your head in awe, letting a surprised laugh slip out.

"Okay, I see exactly what you're doing now. You suggested ice skating because you're Olympic-level! That's totally cheating, by the way."

Namjoon skids to a stop in front of you, as graceful as his takeoff. Without thinking, you reach your hand for his, which he gladly takes. "Figured it out finally, did you?"

"Call me stupid, but I honestly didn't see it until just now." You shove his shoulder with your free hand, only encouraging his teasing reaction. "RM: Guessing that's a stage name?"

He adjusts the beanie over his hair and gives an affirmative gesture. "Yeah, mainly to protect my privacy. Skating world can get pretty intense, sometimes."

You move your chin towards his shoulder, recalling that's where the injury occurred over the summer. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, totally okay. I go to PT a couple times a week. Mostly healed up, just can't compete for another few months. My coach has made me swear off skating until the New Year, but I figured it was worth throwing a little extra into trying to impress a pretty girl." He tilts his head to the side, rubbing the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "Did it work?"

Instead of responding verbally, you curl your finger towards you, a mischievous smile on your face. Namjoon lowers his head and skates closer to you. When he's within arm's reach, you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. A giggle slips out as his eyes widen and his cheeks flush.

"So... Is that a yes?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, throwing your arms in the air and nearly falling over for the hundredth time that night.

Namjoon returns the chaste gesture to your temple as he helps you recover your balance. "Skate with me some more then?" he murmurs, adjusting your scarf around your neck with gentle fingers.

Your face hot and your stomach fluttery, you nod your response and loop your arm around his. "Only if you show me how to do that fancy twirl there at the end."

The idea has Namjoon laughing loudly. "That's my variation on the basic Scratch Spin, which took me about three months to nail perfectly in a routine."

"Then you'd better prepare to be here 'til February!"

After skating for hours, until both of you are exhausted and ready for food, Namjoon takes you to a nearby ramen shop that's close to the train station. It's a hole-in-the-wall, with less than five tables, but with ramen you're able to find a park bench and settle down there with your backs to the city lights and your eyes on the stars overhead. You each mostly in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the delicious food. You make sure to tell your companion how great the choice was, and you insist on coming back again soon.

After wrapping up the meal and seeing the late hour on your phone, Namjoon suggests you both start heading home. "Hate to have to take a bus at this hour instead of the last train," he snickers.

Fully in agreement, you let him take your hand again as the pair of you begin to walk back home. First on the train, then on the sidewalk the short distance to your apartment building.

As you turn the corner onto your short street, your apartment in sight, you rest your head against Namjoon's shoulder and sigh happily. "Thank you for today. It was just...magical."

"Christmas magic?"

You nod against his jacket, wistful and content. "Definitely."

Stopping outside your apartment, you turn towards him, not letting go of his hand. Namjoon gives you a content smile as he looks at you, one where his eyes glisten at his coming words. "Then I have a chance."

"At what?"

He reaches yet again for your scarf, moving it from around your lower face so he can cradle it in his hands. "Restoring your hope in the holidays, and your hope in yourself and your choices."

"Ooof, that's getting ahead of it, I think." You bite the inside of your cheek as a small tug of anxiety and sense of being lost pulls at the back of your mind.

But Namjoon is relentless in his pursuit, and for that you're grateful. "That's why I have two more days planned."

"Already?" you laugh.

"You bet!" he exclaims. "In fact, I'll pick you up at nine on Saturday, but don't wear a dress or skirt. Are you free then?"

"For you, absolutely."

His teeth show through his grin, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyebrows. The gesture is gentle and sweet, made even more so by the warmth of his hands on your cheeks through his gloves. Nevertheless, it leaves you breathless.

After a moment of silence, he pulls away and lowers his grasp, but you crave the contact as soon as he relinquishes it. He nods towards your apartment, as if saying, "I'm not leaving until you're home safe."

You take the hint and give a tiny wave as you enter your building. "Have a great night, Joonie," you whisper through the cracked door. "And thanks again."

Namjoon waves back. "Goodnight, [Y/n]. Sleep well."

Saturday can't come quickly enough. You find yourself smiling more often, a joyful feeling in your heart as you go about your work shift and college classes. Even the smallest and insignificant things feel a little easier. The weather wasn't just cold anymore; it was full of beauty and hope and Christmas spirit.

Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe he was helping you turn a corner.

Right before you're ready to head downstairs to meet Namjoon at the entrance, your phone begins to buzz. Lit up on the screen is an international number, but the area code is that of your old home. The butterflies of excitement die almost instantly, shriveling up into tiny balls of anxiety in your stomach.

Even though you ignore the call, you can't resist listening to the voicemail left behind. Putting your phone on speaker, you're shocked to hear your mother's voice wishing you a Merry Christmas, saying that she and the family miss you, and that they wished you would visit so you could clear up everything that went wrong over the summer. Your throat constricts at the sickly sweet tone; her voice always did drip in honey when she wanted something, she she was trying to manipulate her child. Between her conniving control and your father's lack of respect for privacy and personal boundaries, you remember all over again why you left.

You jump as your apartment bell rings, and the small screen by the door shows Namjoon at the entrance. "[Y/n], are you up there? I texted twice...not sure if you got those."

Looking down at your screen, you see that he's right. You have two unread texts from the last five minutes that you missed due to the unexpected caller. Shaking yourself out of it, you shoot him a quick response, close everything out, and head for the ground level.

"There you are!" Namjoon greets with a grin that almost makes you forget your mother's call.

Almost.

Forcing a smile and reply, "Sorry, I don't know why I didn't see your texts."

"No worries." He waves his hand as if to say it's nothing to worry about. "Are you okay? You seem bothered about something."

You glance up at him, unable to deny he looks slightly concerned. You mirror his laissez-faire attitude and brush it off. "Totally good. Heading to the station?"

"Not this time." Namjoon gestures towards the bike parked by the corner of the building. "You ready to go?"

"Both of us, on that? Are you sure that's safe?"

"Oh yeah! Trust me." He kicks the stand down and mounts the bike, patting the extended seat behind him. "I once rode up Namsan Mountain with Seokjin on the back of this thing, and let me tell you, he's a hell of a lot bigger than you."

Knowing he's probably right, you settle yourself on the seat behind him and wrap your arms tightly around his middle. It's probably not the most well-balanced thing in the world, but you trust Namjoon more than you buy into your fear of falling. "No skirts or dresses, huh?"

"Now you get it," he laughs, pulling out onto the bike lane on the street headed into towards the older side of the city. "Unless you'd like a wardrobe malfunction."

He picks up speed and gets to an easy pace down the street. It's fast enough to get to your location speedily but slow enough that you're able to stare at the beautiful buildings and wondrous landscape around you. Even the people have an aura of happiness caused by Christmas. Had it always been this stunning? Or had you been blind to it until just now?

"Seokjin, as in Kim Seokjin, your rival?"

"So you do watch the news," he sighs. "They aren’t portraying us as friends these days, are they?"

You shake your head and rest your chin on his shoulder. "Not really. I didn't know you were friends."

Namjoon shrugs his shoulders slightly, his voice monotone. "Yeah, well, we've known each other since we were seven, got into skating together around that time, and have been friends ever since. While I wish I didn't have to sit this one out, I couldn't be happier to have him representing South Korea at the Worlds — sorry, that's what we call the World Figure Skating Championships."

"Yeah, they're kind of painting you as opposites."

"That's just what the news does, I guess. Gossip and tabloids and fan-wars. I fell on the ice and hit my shoulder pretty hard; it had nothing to do with Seokjin. He and I talked before I left, too. We're on good terms. Most of us from South Korea are friends, actually. We only get represented as enemies because it's a competition. But a lot of times we're on the same flights, in the same hotels, in the same training areas, you get the idea."

Namjoon pulls up to a stoplight at a near empty intersection, waiting silently for it to shift colors. "Is that what you meant by change of career?" you inquire.

"You're observant," he chuckles.

You turn to rest your cheek on his back. "For what it's worth, and keep in mind that I don't know the first thing about figure skating or your injury or anything like that, but as someone on the outside looking in, you're still so talented. Last week, when you were skating alone, I couldn't tell at all you were injured, and you looked like you were really enjoying it. I don't know if that means anything to you coming from a novice, but if you're still in love with skating and want to get back out there, I think you should go for it. You're still spectacular to watch, Joonie."

There's a beat of silence, but then Namjoon glances over his shoulder and winks at you. "Would you come see me perform live if I did?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you state, "Why not?"

He laughs at your silly expression, then begins to move the bike again as the light finally shifts. "That actually means a lot, [Y/n]. Thank you."

The rest of the ride is quiet, at least until you begin to hear the sounds of a bustling outdoor market. Namjoon turns the final corner, and you're elated with the stone street in an older part of Seoul. Vendors in various booths stretch out in every direction. Some sell food or drink, some sell trinkets or clothing, some even sell vintage books or vinyls or movies. Every nook and cranny has something special to offer. The sights, smells and sounds bring an enormous smile to your face as Namjoon steadies the bike to a stop beside the bicycle rack.

You hop off with his help, nearly bouncing up and down from excitement as he parks and locks his bike on the stand. "This is amazing!" Turning to him, you catch him off-guard with a tight embrace, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pulling him down to you.

Namjoon seems amused by your eager reaction, and he pulls you closer to him. "I thought you would like it. There's nothing quite like Christmas than a market."

After letting him go, you press a kiss to his cheek as you lower back down to your level. Namjoon's hands tenderly cradle your face, just like last time, only today he's glancing away from  your eyes and down to your lips. As your heartbeat quickens, you pull him back to you, fingers grasping at his winter jacket.

His voice is deep and soft as he asks, "May I...?"

Your cheeks flush as you nod your approval. Namjoon's dimples deepen as he lowers his face to yours, barely brushing his lips against yours in the gentlest kiss you've ever had. You close the distance, tugging at his jacket so he moves closer. He gives a tiny laugh against your mouth, then follows your guidance to deepen the kiss. One hand slips back to your hair; he gently plays with the strands.

A moment later, and you're sighing as he pulls away, both light-headed and light-hearted. Namjoon smiles down at you, gives you a surprising second peck, then pulls back with a chuckle. "You're a really cute kisser, y'know that?"

You drop your head and hide your face in the front of his coat. "Shut up."

Your companion's laughter echoes in the air around you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and places his lips briefly on the top of your head. "Are you hungry? I know where we can get the absolute best Tteok-kkochi."

Eventually you lift your head and nod, feeling your stomach rumble at the thought of rice cake skewers. Namjoon moves his arm from around your shoulders, taking your hand instead, and ushers you into the first aisle of the Christmas market.

If it was magical from the outside, it's even more so from within. Somewhere in the distance, you hear holiday music playing. Not the commercial Christmas songs you're used to, but instrumental music that plays perfectly with the sounds of the market crowds. You're awestruck by every single booth you pass, and Namjoon promises to take you back to all of them after you grab a bite to eat.

Which are well worth the walk into the interior of the market. The Tteok-kkochi are cooked to perfection, drowned in a sauce, and by far the best you've ever had. Even after circling back to the booths you missed on the way, you beg Namjoon to lead you back to get another set.

"I've found heaven," you exclaim dramatically, taking the next two from the cook behind the counter and hanging one to your companion. "I'll never have rice cake skewers this good again."

After paying, you spot a section of the market decorated with lights and colorful orbs, much like the decorations you're used to seeing in the West. "Can we go over there next?"

Namjoon spots where you're pointing and eagerly agrees. The pair of you make your way towards the greenery and decor, amazed at the giant Christmas trees decorated to perfection on the periphery of the market.

"That's a massive tree," he gasps, staring upwards. "Are those normal in America?"

"Maybe at a mall or outside a hotel or something," you reply, equally as taken back. "I've never seen one that big in person in a long time."

As you peruse the Christmas section of the market, slipping from booth to booth as the clock strikes Noon, Namjoon asks, "Have you decorated your apartment at all? I know it can be kinda hard to find stuff in Korea like you're used to."

"Not really," you admit in passing. "Between work and school and, y'know, starting a new life in a foreign country, the holidays kinda fell on the back-burner."

Namjoon taps your shoulder, ushering your attention towards the old, American Christmas movies booth a few spots away. You gasp and rush over with renewed excitement, eyes scanning eagerly over the shelves. They have just about everything, from the classics like "It's A Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" to movies you grew up on like "Home Alone" and "Elf." The more you sort through the outdated DVDs, the bigger your smile gets.

"What's your favorite Christmas movie?" Namjoon asks, casually looking through the Christmas vinyls on the booth next to the movies.

"Without a doubt, Ron Howard's 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas.'"

"The one with Jim Carrey?"

"You know it!"

He laughs. "Yeah, my little sister and I watched it a lot when we were kids."

Your head perks up at the mention of a sister. "I didn't know you had siblings, either."

Namjoon nods. "Yeah, she's in college, too. Studying to be a psychologist."

"She sounds amazing."

"Yeah, the family is very proud. I know I am." He pulls out a vinyl for one of Frank Sinatra's Christmas records. "Do you have siblings?"

At the question, your gaze shifts back to the movies, hands preoccupied with finding the perfect one. "I do. A brother and a sister."

"Older?"

"Yeah..."

"What are they like?"

"A lot like my parents," you sigh, moving on to another shelf, turning your back to your companion. "Which is part of the reason I left, so..."

Namjoon senses your anxiety around the topic and rests a hand on your shoulder as he passes by. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize--"

You cut him off with a casual wave of your hand. "It's no worries, really." Spotting the record under his arm, you ask, "Find one you like?"

While he doesn't seem to buy your act, he lets the conversation go and holds up the vinyl for "Tales of Noel on Ice" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, as performed by the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra.

"You don't already have that one?" you gawk in surprise.

"I don't actually," he admits bashfully. "The title composition is one of my best free skate performances, and I have a record player at home, so why not?" He gestures to the movies. "Did you find one?"

"Oh, I don't need one! I was just looking. I don't even have a DVD player anymore."

"I do, so pick one out and maybe we can watch it sometime."

You shake your head at him, trying to subdue a chuckle. "A record player and a DVD player? You're so odd."

"But to your benefit," he reminds you with a wink, pulling out a single movie nearest him. It happens to be your favorite with Jim Carrey in all his hilarious glory on the front.

Cocking an eyebrow, you give a tiny round of applause at the luck of pulling that film out of all the others. "Well, you're going to have to invite me over sometime then."

"You can count on it."

For the next couple hours, Namjoon and you make your way through the entire market, hitting all the shops that interest and intrigue you. All the while, you talk about a plethora of things and get to know each other letter. For instance, you find out that he was born in Ilsan, not too far from where you are now, and that he hates seafood just about as much as mint chocolate. You also find out that he looks like his mother, who was the one that got him into skating to begin with. And to no one's surprise, Namjoon is actually very funny. Not only is he smart, athletic, and good looking — which alone would have caught your attention — he's got a wicked sense of humor to top it all off.

Likewise, he learns more about you. You tell him about the city you grew up in, the friends you had in high school, what you studied before you came to Korea. You tell him that along with your studies, you're really invested in writing and try to make time for that as well. It hasn't been so easy since the move, but you're hoping to get back to it in the new year.

As you approach mid-afternoon, and the final leg of the market, your phone begins to buzz. Your screen lights up with the same foreign number as before. Instantly, both your feet and your heart stop. Your shoulders tense up, and you turn to a blissfully unaware Namjoon, saying, "Hey, I gotta take this. You go on ahead."

"Are you sure?" he asks, the person in front of him not the same happy-go-lucky one as before.

You give him a nod of reassurance. "I'll catch up."

Before he can reply, you've turned and moved towards the massive Christmas trees, where there's an opening and the crowds are quieter. Despite what you told him, you don't intend on answering. Whoever is on the other end of that line, be it your mother or father or siblings, you want nothing to do with them. You do, however, want this to be over. You promise yourself to hear the message, block them, and then go run an errand after the holidays to get a new number.

After the call drops, you wait with an anxious feeling building in your stomach. Maybe they didn't leave a message. Maybe it wasn't your family after all. Maybe — 

A soft ping alerts you that you have a new message. Selecting it, you raise your phone to your ear and hear your father this time. He repeats all of what your mother said, only with a layer of frustration and authority that she didn't use. He's borderline cruel as he spouts the same old lies that you're trying to unlearn; it's your fault, it's because of you, you're the cause of it. What it is, depends on the day. This time is has to do with your family not being the same and their world falling to pieces. He uses colorful sentences, well-crafted insults, but all you hear is blame, blame, blame. 

Tears prick your eyes as the voicemail ends, and you realize you should've just deleted the message when you had the chance. A small part of you still hoped they would change, even after all this time, but you see now that it's not possible.

They will never change, and neither will you.

The pit of depression weighs down in your stomach, and loneliness tingles at the back of your throat. Why now? Out of all the times, out of all the days, why are you feeling these things now? You're out having an adventure with a man who you really like, and who you know likes you, in a city you now call home. You're far from any sadness or trauma or family or friends that once brought you down. You've left your past behind. You'd started to feel like there was hope in the holidays and in the future again, like the last year was worth the pain, like everything was starting to turn around.

But suddenly, that snake is wrapped around you again, pulling you back into old habits and old ways of thinking. It's grabbed on tight and is pulling you back into the dark, away from people you care about, away from people who care about you.

Even as you glance up at Namjoon a few stalls away, completely naïve to the painful flickers going through your mind, you feel the need to draw back. Pull away. Stay away. Go back to the security of the known, of the sad, of the lonely. It's warm and comfy, even if it hurts.

Clenching your fists, you try to silence the noise in your brain by shaking your head. The thoughts only grow louder, and the pit in your stomach gets heavier. You haven't felt a depressive episode like this in a long time. You thought they were long gone, especially now, especially with him...

"[Y/n]? Are you okay?"

Looking up, you see Namjoon's approaching you in the clearing. One hand carries the movie and vinyl he purchased for you both, but the other is outstretched towards you. While you don't pull away from his touch, you taste bile in the back of your throat.

"I—I need to go home," you mutter. "I'm starting to feel sick."

"Oh, okay, hold up I'll go get my bike and I'll take you home."

Feeling your breath quicken, you pull your gaze from Namjoon and nod shakily. The walk back to the bike rack is silent, even the crowd outside fades to a low background murmur. Namjoon places the purchased items in his bicycle carrier, then mounts it.

You follow suit, regret beginning to pile up inside you. Running isn't going to help anything, and you know he must be hurt and confused. But to you, the only thing you can do right now to protect yourself is get away from it all and go back to the place where you feel safest.

Tears burn your eyes as you curl up against him. Namjoon pedals speedily to your apartment, making the trip faster than last time. When he pulls up to the curb, you hop off without a word.

"Do you need me to walk you up?" he offers, worry causing his brows to pull together.

You shake your head and put distance between you both. "No, I'm fine. I'll...text you later, okay?"

Without another word, you turn and enter through the front, leaving Namjoon behind on the other side. Trekking up the stairs, through the door, past a mewling Mochi, you curl up on your bed and let yourself finally feel all the sadness piled up inside.

Fifteen minutes later, the waterworks flow when your phone lights up from an incoming text. Knowing exactly who it is, you grab it and text a swift message to Namjoon.

"I'm so sorry I left so suddenly. And that I ruined our day. Not feeling like myself."

"That's okay. I just got home, so I wanted to check up on you. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Do you need anything?"

"No, but thank you."

"Okay... Maybe we can try again some other time? I'd hate to let you down on Day 2."

Unable to reply, the phone turns black and you let it fall onto the duvet.

The days leading up until Christmas Eve were long and full of guilt. You closed the café for the final time the Monday before the holiday, and with no classes to attend, you mainly stayed inside and watched the snow fall outside your tiny apartment window. Mochi kept you company, but even the small fur ball could sense that something had changed for the worse. Even she had gotten used to you being happier this December; you'd taken two steps back while attempting to take a single step forward.

Every morning, you'd spot Namjoon riding his bike past your apartment on his way to the rink where he trains. Every day, he'd stop and gaze up at the building, never sure which frosty window you were behind but melancholy just the same. He'd call and text; the former, you would never answer, but the latter, you did sporadically. Mainly at night when you thought he wouldn't be up.

He usually was.

"Was it something I did?" he asked that Tuesday before Christmas. "Did I move too fast? Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"No. It's not you."

"Then tell me what it is. I don't want to come across as pushy, but I thought we were getting closer...and then you pull back and hide from me. From everyone. I know I don't know everything about your past or what happened before you came to Seoul, but I promised you three adventures. I still have one to make good on before Christmas."

"Joonie..."

You couldn't bring yourself to write more. The tiny part of your brain that told you that maybe this can work, maybe it's worth trying, maybe things can be different now, it was silenced by the overwhelming majority of your mind. It remembered everything from your past, from the hurt and pain, from the loneliness and fear. Despite your wish to make things right again, it was drowned out by the pure terror of being wronged again.

"Don't shut me out. Please. Let me show you things can be different now. You don't have to go at this alone, [Y/n]. Not anymore."

Pushing down the urge to cry yet again, you move your fingers to type a swift and cold reply. "I'm so sorry I wasted your time, Namjoon. I really am. I thought I was ready, but it's clear that I'm not. Please, spend Christmas with your family. Don't waste any more time on me."

And that was the end of it. You muted his notifications, ignored his calls and texts, and eventually he went silent. The day before Christmas Eve was the first you didn't hear from him, and it was the first day you felt like you'd truly fucked things up for good.

On Christmas Eve, you got an unexpected call from Lisa. Deciding to take a break from staring at an empty Word document with ever-growing frustration, you answered the call, only to be bombarded by Lisa's rambling.

"Oh, thank god! I didn't think you'd answer! I need a huge favor, and I hate to bother on such short notice on Christmas Eve, but this really cannot wait and I'll love you forever if you—!"

"—Okay, okay," you chuckle, shaking your head at her antics.

"I need you to run back to the café and grab something for me. Jungkook is on his way there, but he doesn't have a key."

"What could you possibly have left that's this important?"

"My fucking credit card."

"You've been out of town for two weeks and only just now realized you left your card?"

She heaves a frustrated sigh. "Please, just, do me this favor?"

Rolling your eyes, you pull yourself from the sofa and grab your keys on the counter. "Fine, but you owe me."

"Yes, yes, I know."

You leave the apartment in a hurry, taking the next train to the café. In less than fifteen minutes, you're at the front door. Lisa assures you that Jungkook is on his way, only twenty minutes away. After unlocking it, you make yourself at home in the lobby with a fresh white chocolate mocha. It reminds you of Yeongu, and you smile at the thought.

After about a half hour, your phone begins to buzz in your pocket. Lisa's text has you halting in place.

"I'm sorry to do this. You didn't really give me another choice. I crossed a line, but I think you'll thank me in the end."

Your fingers are swift typing a response. "What did you do?"

"You remember how you gave me a spare key in case you ever got locked out? Or in case you were kept at school too long and needed someone to feed Mochi?" A pause, then she adds, "He came to Busan, [Y/n]. He asked me in person what to do. Do you know how out of the way that was for him? Give him another chance. Please."

"You didn't."

"I did. I'm sorry, but you've talked about how you pull away when you get close to people. It's gone on for almost a week. It's Christmas Eve. You can hate me all you want later, but please. Go home, kiss and make up, then try to salvage Christmas."

A huff of air exits your nostrils as it hits you. Lisa's given the spare to Namjoon. Jungkook was never on his way; this was all a rouse to get you out of your apartment long enough for him to get inside. But to what end?

"He's good for you; I can tell that much already. If you ever were to give someone the benefit of the doubt and place your broken pieces in someone's hands, he's the best you're gonna find."

A pang of truth rocks through you, and while you have still a semblance of willpower, you shoot her a swift text and rush back for the station. "I'm still mad at you, but we'll talk later. I need to get home."

"Go get him!"

The series of stairs up to your apartment never felt so long. Out of breath and winded from rushing home, you find the door unlocked. Pushing through, the place you left less than an hour ago isn't the same as it was before.

The entrance hallway is glittering, multi-colored strands of twinkle lights hanging along the periphery. Fake snow lines the trim, and paper snowflakes are tossed across the furniture. Each one is unique and hand-crafted.

As you venture further, a rainbow array aurora covers your living room and kitchen. There must be at least a dozen lengthy strands of Christmas lights hung across the few items you've unpacked, circled around the sealed boxes, and framing every window and door.  Fake icicles hang on the windowsill, fake greenery lays where curtains should be, and a small Christmas tree stands at your height in the corner.

Jovial, English holiday music plays softly in the background. And humming along to the tune of The First Noel, Namjoon stands with bent-back facing you. He's finishing his final touches on the tree, ensuring that each sparkling orb and shimmering tinsel is perfect. He adjusts the star on the top with a smile to himself, oblivious still to your entrance.

For a moment, you stand in silence and watch him. Your heart is heavy but still beating. If anything, seeing him in the midst of such a sweet and selfless act makes it flutter. Even after cutting his well-planned adventure short, ignoring him for over a week, and telling him to stop speaking to you, he's still here. He came back, and he's trying to prove to you the truth he's been spouting all along.

Eventually, you blink out of your stupor and clear your throat to alert him to your presence. Namjoon turns on his heel, elbow grazing the tree just enough to send it toppling backward. He curses and lunges for it, grabbing it by the star just in time to keep it upright. His characteristic clumsiness prompts a snicker from you, one that you attempt to hide with your hand over your mouth.

Namjoon adjusts the tree and turns back to you with a bashful expression. His lips pull into a side-smile, a single dimple popping out in the process. "H—Hi..."

"Hi," you repeat back to him, letting your hand fall. Your eyes follow suit and drift to your damp, snow-covered shoes.

A beat of silence passes where neither of you knows what to say next. Then the both of you break it at once, words tumbling over each others several times in a row. You laugh to yourself and look back up at him; Namjoon smiles down at you, shaking his head at the awkward reunion.

He gestures silently to you. "Go ahead."

You clear your throat, then say, "I...I wanted to say that I owe you an apology."

He shakes his head firmly, extending his hands in a olive-branch manner. "No, you don't—"

Your feet move back, putting space between you both. "—Can I explain and finish, please? Just...hold your forgiveness until then." At your request, your companion falls silent, letting his hands fall respectfully at his side. Taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment, you re-calibrate your mind and prepare for your admission.

"There's a lot you don't know about me yet," you begin softly. "Ah, shit — That came out super mean. I mean, you know a lot about me. You kinda know why I moved to Korea, the situation with my family back in America, that whole thing. You know where I work and what I'm studying. You know my favorite drink of all time is a white chocolate mocha, and that my favorite customer is barely four feet tall. You know Lisa is my shield at work, and that we've become pretty close in less than a year. You know I'm a homebody and that my favorite thing to do by myself is play with Mochi and watch dramas."

You release a huff of air and raise your eyes to meet his, a wistful smile tugging the corners of your lips. "But there's a lot I haven't told you — or anyone for that matter. I've gone through...a lot of shit this year. When I moved to Seoul, my mental health was in the trash, and my self worth was in shambles. I'd just been shoved from everything I'd ever known into a foreign place."

When you pause for a moment, Namjoon's small and steady voice pipes up with a single inquiry. "I thought you left willingly?"

"I did," you state. "I've wanted to move to South Korea for a long, long time. Since I can remember. But I never thought I'd lose everything before then." Tears prick your eyes, and you lift your sleeve to wipe your nose. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Namjoon gestures towards the small sofa, and you follow his lead. You perch on a single cushion, legs folded underneath you. He takes the adjacent one, far enough to for personal space but still close enough to rest a hand on your knee. This time, you don't push him away as you catch your breath. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, I do, but maybe not now." You take another breath in and focus your thoughts. "I didn't mean to start all that with the intention of being the victim and making you feel bad for me. I...I told you that because I wanted you to know that there are reasons why I push people away. I've been on a journey to heal that trauma all year, but it doesn't happen overnight. But even with that, I never should have just left like that. I never should have ignored your calls and texts. I shouldn't have made you feel like you were the bad guy, or that any of this was your fault, or that you did anything wrong. You were—"

You struggle to find a word that fits what you're truly feeling, one that doesn't feel overwhelming, but the only one that comes to mind is... "You are perfect, Joonie. You're sweet and kind. You treat me like a normal person that's worth something, and I think part of me was scared of that. Especially around the holidays, I feel very fragile, and I run from things I think might hurt me."

"I would never, ever hurt you." Namjoon flashes a soft and empathetic smile. "Can I ask why you got spooked so suddenly? You looked off when I picked you up, and I know you said it was nothing, but..."

You pull your phone from your pocket and play the message for him, the one from your mother. And when he remains silent, you play the second from your father. While he listens, you watch him. The hand on your knee turns to a fist, and his jaw clenches. Part of you is relieved that someone else is reacting negatively to the messages, yet another signal to you that your choice is validated.

"I got the first that morning, but the second right before I left," you murmur. "I didn't respond, and I've blocked the numbers, but I've felt unstable since then. That's why I shut down, and why I left."

He nods, then turns off the phone. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. That's emotional abuse and manipulation. No one should have to go through that."

"I know, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for doing that and for hurting you. It was wrong, and I don't deserve you coming back again and again...even if you concocted this up with Lisa."

At your light-hearted comment, he chuckles and bites the inside of his cheek. The fist on your knee loosens back, his fingers tapping gently against your skin. "She told you, did she?"

"Yep," you chirp. "I'll thank her later."

After a moment, Namjoon's eyes flicker back up to yours. For a moment, he almost looks worried. "Are you mad?"

"Meh." For a moment, you're able to hold your composure long enough for your companion's eyes to widen in horror. "I'm just kidding," you relent, and Namjoon looks visibly relieved. "How could I be mad? Look at all this!" You gesture to the magical space around you. "It looks like a wonderland in here."

A crimson hue fills his face, and he's all of a sudden very shy about the accomplishment. "I wanted you to feel like you had a Christmas, even if it was just for one night."

Leaning your head against the back cushion of the sofa, you stare at him with a bittersweet smile on your face. "Are you mad at me?"

He shakes his head, expression more adamant about that than anything he's said so far. "Not a bit. I was worried, yes, and maybe a little disappointed. I think most of that was tied to the fact that I thought we were on the up-and-up. I saw you slowly opening up and having a good time."

"Gahhh," you groan, eyes fluttering shut with frustration at your past self. "I really fucked it up, didn't I?"

"Not really." His hand slips up your knee, and he weaves his fingers through yours. The squeeze he gives and the gaze he locks gives emphasis to his next words. "I know I don't know everything about you, just like you don't know everything about me, but I'd be lying if I said you aren't the most joyful thing I've experienced in a while. Being around you makes me happy, and the fact that this has you so down makes me want to be there for you — if you want me to. I don't blame you for anything you've done, so you have nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, after hearing those messages and some of what you've been dealing with this year, I know I would've reacted the same way. But, if it helps your peace of mind, then I forgive it all."

"Thank you," you whisper, trying to blink away the tears pricking your eyes.

Namjoon's gaze softens, and he tugs on your hand. "C'mere." You scoot closer, and he pulls you the rest of the way onto his lap and into his arms. Your legs dangle off the side of his thighs, and your head nestles in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. One hand holds tightly to yours while the other circles your waist, dipping under your sweater to rub soothing circles on your skin. Your free arm wraps around his waist, pulling him even closer than before.

"Sometimes terrible, inexplicable things happen to us and it takes us months — even years — to process." Namjoon's timbre is quiet and deep, rumbling against your ear as he speaks. "Everyone goes through that, even me. But it's so much harder to face it alone. Sometimes it takes a lonely, awful Christmas to see just how out of sorts you are. I don't know everything, but if you'll have me, I'd like to stick around to find out."

"You'd still be willing to get to know me more, even after seeing me at my worst?"

"Jagi, if this is your worst, then I would hate to introduce you to sixteen-year-old Kim Namjoon. That boy was a train-wreck."

Letting a watery smile show as laughter escapes your lungs, you reach upward and wrap your arms around Namjoon's neck. He pulls you closer, hands splayed on your back and waist. A sense of relief, and something like home, floods through you. Burying your face in his neck, you allow yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. Ever patient, your companion just holds you close as you come back around.

"Enough with the heavy," he breaks the silence, pulling back and wiping his thumb across your cheeks. Nodding towards the front of the space, where your television is, you follow his line of sight. "I brought your movie and the player. If you're okay with me staying over, do you wanna watch it?"

Leaning forward, you bring your face closer to his, murmuring, "I'd love that."

Namjoon closes the final distance. Both your eyes and his flutter shut as your lips meet in the middle. You tug on the collar of his sweater, encouraging him closer as his arms tighten around your waist. In a burst of bravery, you run your hand through his platinum hair and nip at his bottom lip. He inhales abruptly, and you giggle in response.

"You're gonna be the death of me, [Y/n] [Y/l/n]," he laughs, eventually pulling back to catch his breath.

You grin mischievously at him, biting your lower lip. "Still sure you wanna stay?"

"Definitely. Oh! And I placed an order for takeout, which should be here any minute."

You burst into laughter, resting your forehead against his shoulder as joy fills your body. "You really put all your chips on me coming to my senses, didn't you?" When he shrugs, you add, "What if I had said no?"

"Then I would've been eating for two alone in my apartment," he groans.

You shake your head at his antics and playfully poke the dimple in his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Joonie.”

His smile deepens at your words and gesture. “Merry Christmas, [Y/n].”

Just as he promised, food arrives at the front of your apartment a few minutes later. Namjoon hops up and volunteers to get it from the entrance, and you pop the movie into the player. Silencing the music on his phone, you select the "Play" option from the menu, and the credits begin to play over Anthony Hopkins' narration as your companion returns.

He serves up the food and delivers it to you on the sofa. With a rumbling stomach, you take it gratefully. Just as the singing begins, Namjoon settles into the seat beside you, hooking your leg over his so you maintain closeness as you devour the takeout. Neither of you have seen it in so long, and thus both of you are laughing whole-heartedly at every joke and hilarious mannerism.

After the meal is finished and the dishes are on the makeshift box side-table, you find yourself slowly slipping closer to your companion. Namjoon gladly pulls you closer, and by the middle of the movie, you're back in his lap. With the blanket wrapped around you both, his chin on your head, his arms around you with one hand tracing absent-minded patterns on the skin above your pants, you know you've never been more at home in Seoul than you are right now.

"I'm sorry I ruined your grand plans for Day 3," you murmur after a while.

Namjoon's hand on your waist halts, then changes to a reassuring, tapping pattern. "Be glad you did; this is way better than anything I had planned."

"While I have to agree, what did you have planned?"

You can hear his smile in his voice. "Well, honestly I hadn't decided between Lotte World or Seoullo 7017. You said you hadn't been to either of those, and at Christmas, they're magical. All the lights, the music, it's an absolute winter wonderland."

"Well, if I get to see you skate live, then we can definitely go to those after the solar New Year. Maybe...Maybe even call it a date?"

Namjoon presses a kiss to your forehead, one that makes you grin to yourself and sigh peacefully. His reply is loud and clear, a promise reverberating through his chest. "I think that sounds perfect."

As the movie continues, you relax and think back on everything that's happened this year. All your concerns and worries you had a few weeks prior, at the beginning of December, they all seem so far away now. Even those anxieties brought up recently feel as if they're resolved. he sense is comparable to that of a chapter ending and a new one is being written. And this time, you're the one holding the pen.

At the resolution of the film, you realize that what Namjoon set out to do over a series of adventures truly did come to fruition. Be it luck or fate or whatever you want to call it, he really has given you that spark of hope in the Christmas season. It's something you thought you'd lost, or perhaps you'd left it in America along with many other things. He's brought it back to life, and so much more along with it.

All that magic, all that wonder, all that love and hope and joy — Namjoon is right. It hasn't disappeared from the world, and you haven't outgrown the things you used to feel during the holiday season. It's all still right here, in front of you and around you, waiting to be taken with grateful hands and heart. Maybe it's not in the form it used to be, nor is it in the place it used to be, but neither are you. Both you and your home have changed this year. But despite it all, you are still here, still striving to love yourself and your new life, still trying to let the magic find you.

And this year, because of a wonderful person named Kim Namjoon, you had all the love and magic you could ever need.

[kooala]

whatever you need - first chapter

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader, Jimin dating best friend Hannah, ex bf tae

Tags: strangers to lovers! college!au

Genre: fluff, mutual pining, reader isn’t interested in relationships at first

Words: 3.3k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, partying, language

Summary: Picking up your friend after a wild night out, the last thing you expected was to meet the only guy on campus, that was able to talk about more than just kegs and drinks. 

A/N: guuuuuys this is officially the first chapter to my new Namjoon College!AU fic! I’m not sure how many parts this is going to have but expect it to be similar-ish to once you realize! 

this one is for my favorite bean @bangtan-madi​

Hope you enjoy reading as much as I loved writing it xx

masterlist

You woke up blinking as the sunlight was beaming right into your room. Something about being woken up by hot rays of sunlight after a long night out didn’t feel right and although you had been the one driving yesterday, you still almost felt a little hungover from the crappy air inside the club. Leaving your friends behind after they had made their way into different sleeping quarters with different men, you had felt like it was time to leave. All the power to them but you simply weren’t the type.

Rolling around in your sheets you grabbed your phone, making sure you could read through all the “I’m good!”, texts only to find a text from your best friend from about ten minutes ago, asking if you’d be willing to pick her up. Letting out an annoyed grunt you pushed back the blanket, walking to the bathroom to get yourself dressed.

Something about being the only responsible one in your dorm of four made it difficult for you to fully enjoy the college experience. You’ve known those girls for a long time but especially your best friend seemed to be the absolute counter-part to you. Something about that wild child was next level.

Putting the phone on your ear, you headed out after getting on some sweats and a t-shirt, walking to your car. “Hello?”, you heard your friend and hearing her voice messed up like that was only one of the reasons you felt like drinking was never a good idea. Bad decisions kids.

“You sound like you still have a dick in your mouth.”, you mumbled laughing as you sat inside the car to head out.

“Dude I feel like I have.” she chuckled and you could hear a dude mumbling before the sheets ruffled and she seemed to close a door behind her. “Thanks for picking me up, [y/n]. I don’t even have any cash anymore.”, she chuckled and you only sighed.

“Yea, yea no worries. Nav says I’ll be there in fifteen so get your coochie wrapped up, right? See you in a bit, love.” Hanging up you made your way through empty Sunday morning traffic, parking outside a fraternity house not too far off campus. The house seemed surprisingly well kept and as you couldn’t reach her on her phone, figuring it died, you made your way to the front door to ring and get her.

“Morning.”

The first thing you saw as the door opened was a bare chest right at your eye level. Slowly looking up, you could see the man attached to it was ruffling his messy, greyish-blonde hair, a soft, fresh out of bed look on his face. Raising an eyebrow, he opened his eyes he had been rubbing, only to slowly lower his hand at the sight of you. A sudden smirk appearing in the corner of his face.

“Can I help you?” he asked, his interest peeked all of a sudden.

“Yes I’d like to pick up my drunken friend out of one of the rooms, please.” you stated and with a nod he rubbed his bare chest a bit, scratching over the soft skin on his slightly toned stomach.

“Ah, that  friend.” he chuckled and opened the door for you to come inside. Following in no further than the hallway, you waited for him to get your friend to come downstairs and as you looked around you could see that this was a clean frat-house. At least cleaner than what you had been used to so far.

“JIMINAAAAAH! HER FRIEND IS HERE TO PICK HER UP!” he screamed up the stairs in Korean so loudly, you twitched at the sheer volume of his voice.  

“ONE SECOND!” a voice yelled down in English and the boy, only dressed in briefs turned back to you with a smiling expression on his dimply face.

“Can I get you anything? Coffee?” he asked and with a polite but nervous smile you declined, thanking him for his hospitality. All you wanted to do is disappear with Hannah who was in for a treat for letting you wait in the hallway like a fucking uber driver.

“I’m Namjoon by the way, nice to meet you.” he smiled, extending a large, thin hand for you to shake. Grabbing it with a smile, you shook it gently, watching him a little suspicious because he seemed so polite.

“[y/n], nice to meet you.” Smiling you turned your head to the stairs as you could her tumbling down the stairs and there she was, standing there in last night’s dress, shoes in her hand and a surprisingly fresh and happy look on her face. Coming down the steps after her was a shorter boy than the one who had opened the door for you, with plush lips and the way he pushed his hair back while walking made him look like he was straight out of a commercial.

“Right, thanks for being so nice.” you smiled as you guided Hannah out the door, making sure you could leave as soon as possible but as she smirked over her shoulder to the guy with the model face, you felt like this wasn’t the last time you were going to see him around.

Getting in the car, Hannah took a deep breath and smiled bright, taking a second to relax before she put on the seatbelt, looking over to you with a beaming bright face. For some reason you got a little worried at her expression as you backed out of the driveway, waiting for her to start a speech.

“What happened to you?” you chuckled after a couple of moments of silence and she just smiled bright, shrugging while driving.

“Can we get a Starbucks?” she asked and you sank into your seat a little more.

“Are you really going to make me pick you up, wait like a dumbass and then ask me to drive you across town to the drive through?” You seemed annoyed and Hannah’s smile faded slightly, an expression of remorse covering her face.

“I’m sorry. Just wanted to ask. Sorry you had to wait, [y/n]. Really am.”

The honesty in her voice made you feel bad for snapping at her and at the next stop, you turned the car around towards the next Starbucks, smiling over to her.

“Now tell me about your night and don’t spare me any details.”

Your suspicion was confirmed at the end of next week. Hannah had not stopped talking about a party that was going to take place and as you entered the door the first person you could see towering over all of the other attendees, was Namjoon. His hair was slightly pushed back and styled this time. He was wearing gold rimmed glasses that seemed to make him look even more polished, his neck covered by a black, tight turtle neck which, combined with his wool coat and black pants, made him look like the only thing he could study here, was art.

“Doesn’t he look super cute?”, Hannah asked and you had to hold in for a second to realize that she obviously wasn’t talking about the guy you were looking at. Following her look over to Jimin who was leaning against the doorframe, back facing the two of you, you chuckled. Hannah stayed by your side but she seemed nervous and shifty and as you turned to her you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Go on then, I’ll find the others.”, you smiled, being a good friend. With an excited smile she hugged you in tight, a thankful look on her face before she made her way across the room towards Jimin. For a moment you were worried that he didn’t seem to enjoy her company the she enjoyed his, but as she said hi, you watched him wrap his arm around her tight, kissing her cheek soft.

With a smile, you walked across the room, scanning it for faces you had seen before. You had noticed Namjoon looking at you across the room a few times but although he seemed like a cute guy, you didn’t pay him too much attention. Something about cute guys seemed to throw you off.

“Are my eyes deceiving me? You’re at a party?” Taehyung wrapped his arm around you from behind and by the touch alone you could’ve told it was him immediately, no words needed.

“Why are you surprised? We all know I’m the only party queen that really matters?”, you chuckled and looked up to him. Sometimes you forgot how beautiful he was and it still hurt to see him when you didn’t expect to see him. It felt weird still hanging onto a relationship that had broken up so long ago but Tae had been one of the people you had loved most in life so all you wanted was to see him happy. You were glad you managed to stay friends up until now.

“Oh I seem to have hugged the wrong person, my bad.”, he joked, walking off a few steps and you laughed, grabbing the back of his shirt to pull him back again.

“How are you doing, Taetae?”, you smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter as you both arrived in the open kitchen and with a smile you took the soda he was handing you.

“I’m doing good, love. I’ve started actually focusing on college, can you imagine? Studying and all. How about you? What have you been up to recently?”, he asked and now you were the one with a faked shocked expression on your face.

“Studying? Now I’m not sure I hugged the right person?”, you mocked him and bumped him with your leg as you scooted up onto the counter to take a seat. “I’m doing well, busy with it all but I enjoy it and it’s going well.”, you smiled, taking a sip of your soda.

“How about personal? Someone in sight?”, he asked and you only smiled at him and shrugged, a bit bummed out he even brought up the topic since he seemed to not have any issue with it.

“Yea. Me neither.”, he chuckled and took a sip of his beer, leaning on the counter next to you and for a few moments it felt like nothing had changed the way the two of you were people watching for a while, talking about outfits and relationships between the people, guessing their relations.

“Hannah is seeing a new guy I think. You know him?”, you asked and nodded over towards Jimin standing in a crowd of people, obviously liked by all of them.

“Park Jimin? Are you serious?”, he laughed and you rose an eyebrow asking, worried this may suggest that he was playing with her feelings to which you would’ve had to put an end in that case.

“Why, is he an idiot?”, you asked straight up and Tae started laughing.

“No, he’s just not one to settle down so all of this is an unusual sight.” Namjoon suddenly towered next to the two of you, leaning against the kitchen counter and as you looked up, he smiled down with a warm comfort in his face.  

Tae was about to lift his hand to introduce the two of you but Namjoon only smiled and interrupted him with a quiet tone. “Oh we know each other.”, he smiled.

Taehyung looked from Namjoon to you and the long exchange of looks made him feel a little uncomfortable next to both of you. Turning your head away, back to the crowd, you felt your cheeks turn a little pink at the upfront way Namjoon was talking to you.

“There’s nothing to worry about though. Jimin is not someone to play with feelings.”, Namjoon reassured you and all three of you started watching Hannah and Jimin with arms around each other, kissing sometimes, being close and touchy in front of everyone.

“Good or I’ll chop off things that matter.”, you simply stated dry and Namjoon started laughing. Taehyung excused himself as he was called from across the room, promising to step by a little later again and there you were, sitting on the kitchen counter next to Namjoon who was even taller than you although he was standing and you were sitting.

As you started getting into a proper conversation with Namjoon, you noticed that the two of you had a lot of similarities. Although you were both in the same literature class it was easy to not meet each other since the group of attending students was so massive. He talked about college for a little while and you noticed that not only did you almost have the same friend group, you also realized how many events you had been missing out on over the past couple of years.

Some of the stories you only had heard one sided from your friend and now, hearing Namjoon talk about it, you felt a little sad for being so socially unbothered with events. It seemed as if you really had been missing out on a few things.

Only as you saw Hannah walking over to you, putting her arms around your hips on the counter, seemingly more than drunk, you noticed how long the two of you had been standing in the kitchen talking. Worried your friend may be on her way to make a couple of mistakes she is going to regret tomorrow, you suggested leaving with her.

“Can’t, going with Jimin.”, she mumbled, shooting a quick look at Namjoon who seemed to act like he wasn’t listening. As she was about to elaborate on a couple of details you really didn’t need, you covered her mouth with your hand, nodding.

“Aaaah I don’t wanna know the nasties you’re gonna do. Have fun, I’ll get home somehow.”, you chuckled at her and she got up, smiling bright before turning and heading off.

“Does she always leave you standing like this?”, he asked and you turned your head to look up at him, smiling a bit excusing. Of course, Hannah was a very vibrant out there personality but who were you to keep her from having her fun? Why would you stop her or force her to stay just so you wouldn’t have to leave alone?

“Yea but it’s okay. I won’t hold her back just because I’m not going home with anyone.”, you laughed and Namjoon smiled, nodding.

“Me, always.”, he laughed and emptied his beer, offering one to you.  

“No thanks, just a RedBull maybe.”, you smiled and he passed one over as he opened another beer bottle to drink from. He had taken off his coat by now and the way he was leaning against the island opposite you made you want to take a closer look at him.

Something about him felt very intriguing. Namjoon wasn’t like a lot of the guys here. He seemed articulate, sensitive and understanding. Something about him screamed intelligence and without having any influence on your feelings what so ever, you felt amazed by him. The way he talked was what surprised you most. He didn’t say a lot but when he did, his words were well thought out.

As you started getting tired, relatively late by your standards, you scooted off the counter, smiling up to him as he smiled over.

“Right I think I’ll head home.”, you smiled and put the RedBull can into the trash, seemingly the only person here who thought of doing so.

“Are you going to take an uber?”, he asked and you simply shook your head smiling.

“No, I’m going to walk it’s not that far off.” Namjoon put his empty beer bottle into the sink and grabbed his coat smiling.

“Right, let’s go then.”

With a confused look on your face you simply stared at him, not really understanding why he was getting ready to leave with you, not really sure what his plans were. Maybe you had been too friendly and gave him the wrong idea?

“Don’t look at me like I’m going to drag you behind a bush.”, he laughed. “I’m walking you home so someone else doesn’t get the chance to do so. Just being nice, no intentions.”, he smiled and you felt a little stupid for being caught like that, thankful though for him offering to walk you.

“That’s very nice of you, thank you.”, you simply smiled and all of a sudden you felt a little bit of heat rising up in your cheeks to your own surprise.

After chasing down Taehyung, you said your goodbyes and started walking down the street with Namjoon. It was a little chilly and the fresh air was exactly what you needed after being stuck in that stuffy house for such a long time.

Namjoon had both his hands buried in his coat pockets. He took long and slow, grand strides next to you and you had to chuckle because you had to take two steps in the same amount of time. His eyes darted over to you and he smiled with an asking expression on his face.

“I have a question.”, you blurted out without any filter, almost regretting that you even started it. “Are you always that... zen?”, you chuckle and Namjoon tilted his head back, letting out a loud, almost explosive laugh that you couldn’t help but think of as very adorable.

“I guess one could say that, yes. I’m a calm guy. I do get all wound up when I’m with the right people under the right circumstances but, yes. Usually I’m very ‘zen’” He put a little extra emphasis on the last word and chuckled, smiling down to you.

“What about you? Are you always so reserved? Or am I just annoying you.”, he laughed and you blushed at the blunt statement, feeling your cheeks getting warm again. The fact that this has been the second time tonight around the same guy, was strange concept for you. Although you didn’t have an issue with men, after your last relationship you haven’t really had any interested in them. So blushing at his comments was a very  unfamiliar feeling that surprised you.  

“I think reserved is a nice way to describe it.”, you chuckled. “I’m not very a... talkative person. I’m introverted and it takes a lot for me to come out of my shell. So no, you’re not annoying. Not at all.” With a smile you turned your head to face him and Namjoon’s lips cracked into a shy smile, his eyes adorably closed as he did.

“I think it’s nice to not constantly stir the pot like other people do. I enjoy being private and reserved. It makes it all the more special if you show yourself how you really are to a person you really trust, you know?”

Struck by his wise words, you looked at him for a moment before letting your thoughts wander around what he had just said. Something about that seemed so rooted and centered, that you felt foolish for not having the same level of depth in your thoughts. The statement was very open though so you wondered if this was him opening up to someone, deeming you as someone who was worth opening up to.

“Was a really nice thing to say.”, you smiled over and you could see a soft pink hue on his cheeks as he got embarrassed by your compliment. With a chuckle escaping his lips, he looked down to the pavement while walking and for a moment, neither of you said a word.

The silence wasn’t pressing, in fact it felt very calming and being surrounded by the fresh air in combination with your thoughts hanging after the conversation the two of you just had, you started to really appreciate Namjoon for being exactly how he was.  

next chapter >>

If you’ve managed to read this far, I’d be more than thankful if you could like and reblog my chapter if you enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions for improvement or a drabble request - make sure to shoot me a message!✨

© kooala (stealing, translating or reuploading to other sites is prohibited.)

[ditttiii]

Content creator: year in review

a shorter version of the content review @eternalseokjin aka d damn machine, tagged me in @_@ 

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: damn my writing has changed so much but the first one was etmy’s prologue and the latest one is well technically a drabble but also chapter 3 of kintsugi. 

a creation you’re really proud of: kintsugi. i think i understand the emotions needed for that fic the best.

a creation that took you forever: so many wips in my docs *winces* but uhm probably dilectio; my yoongi oneshot that was commissioned for blm. i was writing for someone else and it was well a paid commodity and the pressure was intENse lol. 

a creation from 2020 that received the most notes: enchanted to meet you: prologue ♡ 

a creation you think deserved more notes: uh i try not to focus too much on the note count because it’s a one way ticket to writers block land but maybe sugar sweet?

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:  super junior. a heechul drabble.

a creation you made that breaks your heart: i cried writing kintsugi. but also this vmin drabble. 

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my seokjin oneshot (sugar sweet!) i.e really just a pwp with a smidge of fluff and humor.

a creation that was inspired by another one: my precious lill babie; brothers conflict. i ll be writing more for it this month so yayie!

This was a lot of fun (and weirdly enough eye opening too) so imma gonna go ahead and tag loads of other content creators: @tatastaetae @crazy4myself @yeojaa @today-we-will-survive @btsismybiass  @pars-ley @xjoonchildx@whitesparrows97 @birbdae  @joheun-saram @beombeombwi @jungkooksbroski @wheresmymoniat @kkulfm-writing @eatjeanjin @wishesunderthestars  @writersrealmbts @bangtan-madi 

[softlyjiminie]

i was tagged by the cutie miss @kimcritique !! ( dm me i wanna be frens ) !!

answer 10 questions then write your own and tag some mutuals!!

what’s in your fridge right now?

a couple different types of fish, yoghurts, milk, condiments, meat, cheese ?? and alcohol 👀

who is your favourite cartoon character?

off the top of my head, gumball from the amazing world of gumball.

what makes you angrier than it should?

people picking on others for no reason, liars !! And anyone with prejudice against minority groups !

what’s a saying you say a lot?

cries + giggle wiggles

did you ever have a crush on your best friend?

in primary school maybe ??

do you know how to ride a bike?

yes !

what’s the last book you’ve read?

crazy rich asians!!

what motivates you?

love and support from friends and family, having a clear path?

what’s the best compliment someone can receive?

you’re doing well, i’m proud of you.

three words that describe your aesthetic? 

e girl, soft, cyber core.

— — — — — —

my questions:

what’s your ideal breakfast?

what colour best describes your mood right now?

if you could only smell one thing for the rest of your life what would it be?

how did you end up on tumblr?

which do you prefer; the sun, stars or the moon?

what’s your biggest fear?

what’s your biggest aspiration?

describe your ultimate bias in three words .

how would you describe yourself to someone who doesn’t know you ?

if you could have a safe place, where would it be?

tagging: @bangtan-madi @gguksgalaxy @agust-meow @atinybrew @softguks and anyone who wants to do this !!

[chemicalpink]

content tag game ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡

tagged by the loveliest @knjsnoona im so sorry this took so long

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

we don't talk about that BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW, i used to have a 1D fic blog, and from time to time some other fandoms like sherlock bbc, supernatural, criminal minds and marvel.

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

just BTS but I'm open to anything tbh

3. how long have you been writing?

uh... writing in general? around 18 years, published online? 8

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

im just active on here, i do have ao3 and will soon enough start writing on there.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

hELLO? pwp is a must with me im sorry.

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

i just recently started planning my fics but i dont really follow the outlines so... pantser i basically just sit and write it all in one go.

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shot, im a busy person lmao

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

i mean it depends, if i'm writing it lmao around 1k-5k, if im reading it... i mostly read fics of around 10k-30k

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

oh god the daechwita series. it is 10k altogether. and yes, it is complete and has a few drabbles in it.

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

mmmm its a wip that's hopefully releasing soon, a crack yoongi fic, it has been fun working on it. from published ones? oh god i've enjoyed them all but maybe- the whole electra heart series.

11. favourite request you’ve written and why (if any?)

ya'll I'm still waiting for you guys to request one, but the pwp plots have been great lmao

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

they're either break up related or shameless porn so- idk what that says about me that im sad and horny or sth

13. current number of wips?

oh dear- actual WIPs (the ones that are currently being written) around 10, from things i come up with at 3 am and write down... 173

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

punctuation isn't my forte lmao

and i refuse to edit im sorry

15. a quote you like from a published story.

“If that is so, then tell me, little brother” this time Seokjin is the one whose eyes look fired up, tone bone-chilling “why are you the one being held back, stripped from home, and not me”

From If History is Dead: Tales of the Sea

16. a quote from an unpublished story

I don't wanna give away any spoilers but I really wanna give you guys something funny so it's a one-liner.

“I don’t bottom, that’s a fact”

from only good vibes

17. space for you to say something to your readers.

you are all so great to me and i really have no way to express how much i appreciate you guys supporting my work, i know for a fact i suck at interactions so i would like to apologise for having quite a... difficult personality but please know that i am blessed to have people around my work that appreciate it and appreciate me as a writer and as a person, I'll always work to improve myself!

Tags: if convenient and if you haven't done it before @hobipaint

@sunshinekims @xiaokoo @bangtan-madi

[yoontopia]

get to know me!

Quarantine on the weekend? Time to do some tags! Thanks, @bangtan-madi, this was a blast.

rules: tag 9 people you would like to know better

name: kura

birthday: may 9th

zodiac sign: taurus ☼, virgo ☽, leo ↥

height: 5′0″ (152cm)

hobbies: kpop, reading, travels, food, writing :D

favorite color(s): reds and purples

top 3 ships: Yoonkook, Vmin -- not really a shipper in general tbh

lipstick or chapstick?: chapstick

last book: Vicious by V.E. Schwab

currently reading: Way of Kings (Brandon Sanderson); Surely You’re Joking Mr. Feynman! (Richard Feynman)

last song: Louder Than Bombs - BTS

last movie: Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho)

inspiration for muse: usually songs, cheesy movies, books I’ve read, sometimes real life experiences

dream job: Research Scientist! or something in the pharmaceutical industry. I’m only an assistant in a lab right now

meaning behind my URL: yoontopia (noun; yoon-TOH-pee-a): an imagined community or society that possesses highly desirable or nearly perfect amounts of one Min Yoongi for its citizens

I don’t really have anyone to tag :P feel free to do it if you see this!

[hobicomeholla29]

WIP GAME

-Rules: Post the first line of a WIP, as well as the last line you’ve written so far.

Tagged by @vinterjeon​ !!!!

A/N: OOOOOHHHH BOOOYYY!!! Ok! Lets get some WIPS out in the open. By now, we should all know that my summaries are short as frak. I’ll try to dd 2 lines since 1 line might not show much with my writing.

WIP: Noir. Mafia AU for Hobi. Him and y/n grew up in the dangerous part of town and their goal is to get out of there, however the process of doing so, they don’t follow the same paths. This might be a super long one shot or a 2-shot. 

First line:  Every city has its dark alleys. That part on the outskirts of town that everyone knows about, but they pretend it does not exist.

Last line: “I chose you and Pixie as the 2 people we will send from this location to the new one, on your lunch I’ll take both you and Pix to see the place”

WIP: Kalopsia. Jimin fic! This one is angsty. Him, his wife and their daughter seem to sometimes live an abstract reality or in a fake fantasy. Jimin does everything in his power to keep that fake reality from crashing down.

First line: Loving someone, always brings sacrifices. This includes some sacrifices that we may have never considered doing and others that we are quite sure we would do, no matter what.

Last line: It felt like desolation and maybe, just maybe. Jimin thought that for the first time, this was the right way to feel after everything that he has been through.

WIP: Heat!. Chef!Hyung Line and reader participate in a cooking competition for a grand prize. The entire thing is written like a TV Show.

First line: Ladies and gentlemen! Sharpen your knives and go light your stoves, cuz the first episode of HEAT! is about to unfold! 

Last line: The first to reach a basket is chef Y/n, using her agility and cute smile to push through all the male chefs in the kitchen.

Alright folks! That’s all I got for yall today! Lol

Stay tuned for whenever these are posted!

Tagging: @dreamingofkoo @thatmultifandomhoe @bangtanloverboys @foxybread @yoonsdior @bangtan-madi and as always, Anyone else who wants to play

[dreamcatcherjiah]

utl group tag

this is giving me the motivation to return to Tumblr so thank you so much for tagging me, B. It means a lot @alpacaparkaseok🥰💕♥️

Who was your first bias?

Okay, hear me out, this was a whole crisis back when I started getting into BTS. I was so into JK, the first BTS pictures I have in my phone are his, I loved the whole bunny thing he had going on and his bamby eyes were just ajdlkfasdhlajkdhfalhjkf, I WAS SO CONFLICTED WHEN MY ACTUAL BIAS AND BIAS WRECKER CAME ALONG I DIDN’T WANT JK TO STOP BEING MY BIAS.

Who’s your bias now?

Our leader and saviour KIM NAMJOON. With Hobi and Yoongi being my bias wreckers. Don’t get me wrong, I love all seven equally, but there is something about Namjoon’s intelligence, his English accent, the fact that he is the purest soul to walk the earth and loves bonsais and little frogs… I am digressing, but yeah, it only took me like a month into being an ARMY to go “WHO IS HE?! And promote JK into the “would be best friends with you” category.

What was the first mv you watched by them?

My best friend was into Kpop before I was, so their first MV I saw was DNA, then I got into them with the IDOL comeback (and turned my sister into an ARMY at the same time looool)

What’s your favorite mv?

That’s a loaded question if I’ve ever seen one… I would say (I AM TEMPTED TO SAY DAECHWITA AND BE DONE WITH THIS QUESTION) ON, I love the cinematic feeling to it, and it gave me such a burst of happiness watching it I can still feel it every time I watch it again! WABTE is a (very) close second, because it brought me close to tears and those who know me, know I don’t cry xD

If you could listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?

Louder than Bombs hands down, even if my absolute favourite album is LY: Tear, that song is FLAWLESS, from the vocals, to the raps, the instrumental… It gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it!

Who would you want to see them collab with?

Am I the one who is still waiting for an Ariana x BTS collab after all the interactions we got last year? Yes? Just me? OKAY!

What mv concept do you want to see them do?

I need to see prince!BTS, just once and I’ll be happy forever. BS&T was a close call, but I want crowns on those heads, KINGS!

Have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?

I think I have (ask momo) but I don’t remember most of them anymore, I don’t usually remember what I dream.

If you could spend the day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?

Can’t I go on a picnic with all seven?🥲 No? Well then, I would take namjoon and go museum hopping, then taking a walk around some random city, get lost, going to a coffee shop and sit there reading in silence, just enjoy the day with him! Something I miss from before covid is exactly that plan. And as B very well put it, confess my undying love for him :)

Which member do you think you’d get along with the most?

Coincidentally, I think that would be Yoongi, we share similar characteristics and honestly, lately I am being compared to him more and more, so I think we wouldn’t clash and get along really well, in peace and quiet lol 

Which member do you think you would argue with?

Even if he is one of my list of bias wreckers, I would say Jimin. I can be very petty and our little Jiminie loves teasing in a sassy way… I think it would be very easy for me to take one of those jokes the wrong way 🙂

If you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?

Can’t I hide it from them, forever? If I had to choose one, it would probably be Joon, because I trust him with my life… then again I might just choose one of the other six because I write in English and them not being able to read it might just save me the embarrassment 😋

I’m tagging: @mabel-k3 @bangtan-madi and @minloop :) :) if you guys want to do it💙